#THROTTLES HIM!!!! /POS

[fenny-self-ships]

GUYS my mouth has been FOAMING over this adorable commission I got from @mousedetectives for the past two hours, LOOK AT IT ISN'T IT PRECIOUS-

I love love love seeing how my guys transfer to other people's art styles IF UR LOOKING FOR SOME AWESOME TRADITIONAL ART GO AND COMMISSION THEM!!!

[fortunatelyannoyingcrown]

I am making a proposition to add a few other names to the list of names we have, to mock Rhysand-what about Rapesand?(fits well with his rapist tendencies),Rice noodles?, Rhysie poop?...

I'm all about creative names to mock that POS, so if people have better ideas than me, feel free to contribute☺️

[sodaneko]

Lale !! <33333 I hope you're doing well love!!!! It's your turn for some infiltration and I have a few people on your list!!! Namely, Oikawa, Omi, Osamu! :D

in the most sfw way possible I think Oikawa likes taking showers together and gets a watterfall shower head so you can both be warm at the same time

I think he does complain about the temp you set though

is your hair long? yes, but he loves washing it for you because it just feels so intimate to him

Now- guys

Argentina Oikawa??? oh yes oh my

He hears through the grapevine that you like the look of gold jewelry against tan skin

Now, he naturally starts getting a tan and then asks Iwa for advice on jewelry and gets rings and necklaces

I think he likes thin jewelry not chunky

He always has a hairtie or scrunchie on his wrist methinks because he likes tying your hair for you!!!!

Calls your terms of endearment in Spanish! :D

Okay Sakusa time !!!

Now, as mentioned in the discord he doesn't bring up marriage until after he retires

Now he has the horrible though of dying his hair when he gets his first grey streak and you have to fight thee hair dye out of his hand

Keeps his hair longer because he likes the feeling of your nails scratching his scalp

Calls you "dumbass and idiot" in an affectionate way. Like his voice is always warm when he says it even though he's sighing

I don't think he's a big pda person but I think if he's jealous that all goes out the window

He's grabbing you and pulling you close and kissing you in front of the person

the gentleman that he is he always holds your door open for you

Loves neck kisses

giving or receiving he doesn't care, although receiving them makes him shiver a little ngl

Wants to cry /pos when you kiss the moles on his forehead

Osamu time guys!!! <33

When you accidentally like run into things he'll llaugh a little bit and go "make sure to watch where you're going darling." and holds your hand

Okay food safety? Idk what that is

He has a carnal urge to pull you into the dry storage and make out with you in there

He comes out with his lips red and puffy from kissing you and you come out with hickeys on your neck

do I think he has tattoos? yes one, it's matching with you and I think he got it over his heart and it's a lily and you got a Lavendar since it's the companion plant of lilies <3 :3

I think he has messy handwriting to the point where it's really hard to tell what he's writing because he writes it so quick

When the two of you are laying in bed he traces words on your back and makes you guess (usually just repeats 'I love you')

can only look at you with a lovesick gaze lol

I used your own list against you mawahaha <3 I hope you enjoyed these, more to come for your birthday more than likely <3 :D

-lots of love Kai <3

how this message found me

[sillygoofyqueer]

Ahhhhh, I had another idea!

Shen Yuan teaching his regular (not demon) crow friends how to curse at people and spout ominous phrases... but in English!

Some random person wanders into the forest near his home village only for ominous voices from above to start calling things like,

"DOOM!"

"Nevermore!"

"Fuck off!"

And so forth.

It's very fighting to the PIDW natives who have no idea what English is, or where these voices are coming from. 😂

Perhaps one day Airplane ends up in the forest and is just perplexed. Did the System get lazy and just decide to use English as their ominous foreign tongue or something?

(For Airplane, the fact that "Airplane" (飞��, fēi jī) is a homophone for "Flying Chicken" (飞鸡, fēi jī), with the same tone and everything, plus this is the bird AU, makes me kinda want him to be like, a chicken/rooster demon or something. XD)

Now that you've brought this chicken/rooster demon idea to my attention, I will be running with it with no thought or hesitation oh my golly gosh. He will appear first in the forest, muttering to himself and getting absolutely insulted by crows all around, pondering how the fuck they know English. He curses back in English and gets tackled by Shen Yuan, who is reasonably questioning why the FUCK this random demon knows English and then is about to throttle him when he finds out who he is. The crows act as a siren and warning to allow the village to know there's people they don't know are coming in. This is FUNNY.

GU YUN MY BELOVED!! He's from Stars Of Chaos/Sha Po Lang (which I've been reading the first book of), and I'm madly in love with him /silly. That sounds so cool for a Crow!Yuan design, and I'm swooning at the thought of just feathers and enough jewellery to become his own little light when the sun hits it just right. He doesn't wear all of it all the time, but he would sooo be tempted to every time he sees it. {part six! Part one, art two, part three, part four, part five, part seven!}

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Help, I Reincarnated as the Female Lead’s Sister-in-Law!

‘Slight’ Yandere! Dion Agriche x Fem! Reader

Chapter 16

Story Masterlist

Arranged marriage AU

Interact with this linked post to be added to the tag list.

Entire chapter is Dion’s/Ash’s POV, takes place during the day of chapter 14 during the beginning scene of when Dion and Reader share a moment that is not nice in her mind. He is also out of character again lmao

Edit: LMAO I FUCKED UP THE TITLE OF MY OWN FIC. can you tell I wrote this entire thing in one setting while very tired? God now I need to check the other chapters lol

NOTE: Dion is having a very small crisis towards the end. Also, I do not know how to write fight scenes. I’m also getting kind of tired of saying ‘male’. Also two chapters within two days!? I'm on a roll baby! (I will proceed to not update for at least a week since life gets in the way/motivation/ideas won't come to me)

Warnings: slight yandere themes, themes of obsessive and possessive behavior/thoughts, toxic marriage/relationship, murder, blood, threats of injury/murder, slight torture (probably?), mention of divorce (it almost does not end well, rip Ash lol), Dion accidentally gets hurt (it’s his own fault), attempted murder, mention of past murder, implied murder (I think?), implied threats of injury, thoughts of imprisoning the reader at the end but he decides against it, implied stalking, HEAVY VIOLENCE Dion’s actions are toxic no matter how you look at it. Please tell me if I missed any.

NSFW-ISH WARNINGS:  (NO SEXUAL ACTIVITY ACTUALLY TAKES PLACE) suggestive, implied vaginal pain (I think), throw back to their first time, implied perverted thoughts (Dion), Lant once again being a pos, encouraging Dion to force himself on the Reader, implied/mentioned past sexual activities, implied past Dub-con. Please tell me if I missed any.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THE HARMFUL AND/OR DANGEROUS ACTIONS AND/OR BEHAVIORS THAT MAY TAKE PLACE IN THIS PIECE OF FICTION. THESE ACTIONS/BEHAVIORS SHOULD NOT BE NORMALIZED NOR ROMANIZED AS THEY ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND TOXIC.

MINORS/BLANK BLOGS, BLOGS THAT DO NOT INTERACT WITH OR REBLOG FANDOM RELATED THINGS (FICS, ART, ETC.) DNI

“How's married life?” 

Boredom fills the voice of the redhead doctor as he dabs a cotton ball on the patient’s wound, crimson soaking into the fluffy white cotton. Once done treating it, he starts to wrap it up a little too tight, irritated that a certain Agriche got distracted, slipped down a slope full of sharp rocks and thus, sliced his arm open. So unlike him and yet, he still saw it coming from miles away.

God forbid if anyone in this hunting party listens.

“... why are you asking?” Dion questions back, narrowing his eyes, glaring daggers into the very doctor who’s treating his wounds. Still, it’s not like Ash would harm any of his patients, as he was well above that. Even with someone like him.

However, Dion Agriche often challenges his views and morals. He had always thought of the second eldest as a fool - however, ever since he got engaged to you, he became more so of one. While smart and talented in many areas - hunting, sword fighting, ballroom dancing, leading hunting parties for both monsters and animals alike, maybe a musical instrument or two if memory serves correct, and of course, assassinting - by the Gods, is his personality a nasty one.

“Am I not allowed to? After seeing the mess she was after your first night… I worry for her. Poor girl probably lost faith in God the moment she saw your face.” Ash bites back, tying the bandage up and securing it with pins before patting it down hard. He holds back a smile when THE Dion Agriche flinches at the pain.

It doesn’t matter if it was physical or emotional - pain is pain. Although, it would be better if it was both, finally hitting his employer where it hurts the most. But Dion always bites back.

“You’re rather mouthy for someone I could cut down easily.” Dion's threat is empty, but the urge to throttle the doctor remains. While he wouldn’t kill the man, putting him in a full body cast would settle some things.

Ash only sighs with a shake of his head. Gesturing your husband to put his shirt and black arm sleeves back on, the redhead starts to clean and put his medical supplies away. Currently, the two of them are alone in a tent that was hastily set up, the rest of the hunting party members outside eating dinner. The sun had barely set.

“Come now, I even tended to the poor girl as a free favor. Surely, answering a question or two isn’t that hard - consider it payment for that black eye I left with.”

“And I’ll leave another one on the other eye.”

“... why must you always be so violent? It’s clear that your wife isn’t fond of violence - much less you.” He hits where it hurts, patting the ‘poor’ man’s shoulder as he buttons up his uniform shirt. He watches with great interest when the black haired noble stiffens before resuming his task.

‘So, it’s not going all that great…’

“I mean, it’s only natural for me to ask, taking the fact you personally invited me to the wedding into account.” Ash continues to dig for answers, enjoying the way his scarlet hues become hollow and unfocused. Had he been a better man, the doctor would have pity the newly wed noble some more. 

But Dion Agriche is nowhere close to even a decent person.  

“It’s…,” his low and tired voice trails off before he stands and straightens his clothes out, “fine. Nothing for you to worry about.” A lie paired with another lie. How unlike him. 

“Hm. Sure.” 

Dion leaves the tent without another word, leaving the doctor behind.

As soon as he steps out, one of his men rushes over to him. Dion's mood only sours more, not wanting to interact with anyone just yet.

“Sir, we haven’t found any traces of the monsters. The entire area is empty.” The jet black haired noble can’t stop a brow from raising. 

The brunette delivers the news in a hurry, out of breath. Your husband notices the way he tries to keep his voice down, eyeing everyone behind him. Weird. 

Closer inspection revealed the dirt on his boots and leaves in his hair. But towards the chest, there’s a speck of red on the purple accents that’s barely hidden away by the cloak. 

It’s even slightly damp. His sleeves look a bit too short as well. The gloves don’t look right, not fitting the fingers, slightly sliding off with each gesture of his hands. Scarlet eyes zone in on them before returning to the soldier’s face.

The hair looks a bit lighter. The eyes are a bit deeper.

“How far did you go?” Dion asks as he comes back down to earth.

“Oh!” The soldier straightens up before going on to tell him the details. Your husband listens with little interest, already looking at the area from where the soldier just came from. And then, he glances around the camp, eyes landing on each person once. Once he’s done with relaying the information, Dion walks past him. 

The brunette follows. “Is something the matter, sir?” He follows until the chatter of the camp becomes distant. He runs into Dion’s sturdy back as the man comes to an abrupt stop. Gently rubbing his nose, the shorter man backs up.

“I must admit you have guts.” Dion’s voice is low, mockery laced in it despite ‘praising’ him. 

“...huh?” 

In a flash, his gloved hand slams the other man’s neck against a tree trunk. The bark bites into the exposed skin of his neck while his face turns red. Gasping for breath, the man makes a futile attempt to claw at Dion’s gloved hand.

His legs kick and kick, but it does little to help. Scarlet eyes stare at him emotionless, and the sight of the glowing orbs sends chills down his spine. “It’s amusing how you thought you could replace one of my men.” He chuckles low and deep, increasing the pressure on the poor man’s neck.

“But I have memorized each and every one of their traits - from their eye color to the way they even walk. Not to mention I didn’t order them to look for any monsters in the near vicinity.”   

The black haired man considers snapping his neck right at this moment. But his actions are halted when he hears a twig snap under someone’s foot.

He scowls once the familiar voice reaches his ears. His eyes narrow at how annoying the new addition sounds.

“Is this really necessary? How about we find out what happened to the victim before killing the perpetrator,” Ash advises as he gets closer. He stops once he’s two feet away from the now angered man.

Close to being enraged but not yet, irked that one fool thought he was stupid while the other had just interrupted his actions.

“Dion.” Ash tries again. “Ask questions first. You can do whatever with him later, after we get answers.” 

A hiss of annoyance and Dion drops the man. While he’s coughing for breath, with his boot Dion delivers a hard kick to the imposter’s stomach that has him wheezing for breath. Ash sighs in exasperation at the scene unfolding before him. 

‘Once a brute, always a brute.’

“Talk. Maybe I’ll be merciful depending on your answers.” 

“Arg! W-wait, fuck, wait!” He raises his hands as he surrounders. “I’m not the one who killed him - I was just given the uniform. Honest!”

The two standing men share a look.

“Regardless of who killed him, didn’t you at least consider that maybe everyone would notice you weren’t originally part of the party?” Ash squats to the enemy’s height, observing the hand mark that now decorates his neck. “Unless you’re an idiot.” 

“I wa-wasn’t supposed to get too close to the others… just to lure you away.” He stares up at your husband the entire time while clutching at his stomach. Saliva drips from his mouth as he shakes. He looks more pathetic than a terrified dog.

“How far? I’m assuming just a bit further away from here.” The Agriche continues the integration. His head tilts when the idiotic imposter nods. 

Ash looks up at him. “Should we call for reinforcements? It’s probably not a good idea for you to go alone.”

“I’m not alone. I have you.”

“...huh?”

- - -

Against his own will, Ash follows close behind the prisoner and warden. His arms are wrapped around himself as a cold breeze starts to pick up. His long red hair sways in the wind as Dion’s hood flops back due to the direction of the sudden wind.

“I’m not a fighter, you know this.”

“Right.”

“I’m a doctor - I help the wounded, I don’t give injuries. I don’t even have the training of a swordsman - unlike you.” Ash continues to complain, wanting nothing more than to kick your husband straight in the ass. 

“Right.” Dion’s one word replies are dismissive - the doctor doubts he’s listening at all. 

All the while the brunette is being dragged by the collar. He only listens in silence as the two assumed co-workers or something of that sort have a one sided argument or conversation. He can’t tell what it was. 

“You have like what, thirty men?”

“Thirty five.” He takes a pause before correcting himself. “Well, now it’s thirty four.”

“Thirty four? And you choose me, a weak and mild doctor -”

“More like an annoying one,” Dion cuts in, starting to regret bringing Ash along. He forgot how… yappy he can be. Even with the amount of money he pays him, he always has something to complain about. 

“... If your wife ever divorces you, I’ll help her in every way I -”

SNAP

Twigs break in half under your husband’s feet, the prisoner choking as the taller man turns on his feet so quickly it gives him whiplash. Ash immediately shuts his mouth as shadows start to cover the sharp features of Dion’s face. His eyes glow in the moonlight. His scarlet eyes are narrowed, filled with unsaid threats, glare so sharp it cuts into his very soul. 

The redhead takes a step back as his employer towers over him. He breaks out into a cold sweat, the forest having become silent - like every animal in the vicinity sensed the bloodlust of this obsessed man and went into hiding. 

It feels like death itself is breathing down his back, his stomach twisting and turning painfully. His mouth becomes dry, and he can hear every breath Dion takes. So, this is what it feels like, to be on the sharp side of Dion’s blade.

He gulps, Adam's apple bobbing. The air becomes suffocating. 

“... it was a joke.” Ash says slowly, unable to look away from the grim reaper. A quick glance to his hands shows that they are both tightly clenched. The enemy is shivering in fear as well, worried for his own safety.

One wrong move and he’ll lose his head, it doesn’t matter if he wasn’t involved with the conversation. The fact he’s here at all spells out his doom.

This rage was different from the one that was directed towards him. He doesn’t know who the wife - you are, but at the mention of divorce, Dion became a different man. A worse man.

Did you mean that much to him? Or was it a pride thing?

“...A joke? I didn’t realize my marriage was a joke to you.” Husky and deep, your husband’s voice sends chills down the other two spines. Each step carries weight and the poor man dragged along regrets ever taking the job. 

“No, I don’t think your marriage is a joke… I’m sure she’ll open up to you. Eventually. Just a bit.” Trying to soothe the pissed man proves to be futile.

Ash doesn’t understand why Dion was so smitten with you. You were strangers prior to the engagement - only shared a space in the ballroom without interacting with each other. However, one memory that will never be erased from his mind was when the then nineteen-year-old had pointed at you with his red eyes and declared to the doctor he would marry you during a ball that took place a year ago.

Right after you and the Agriche accidentally locked eyes.

Ash always knew he was mental. Just not to this degree. 

“Listen, I’m sorry; I overstepped. Let’s just get this done - the faster we finish the faster you can return home. Maybe not into her arms, but at least you’ll see and hear her voice. Right?”

At the mention of that, the murderous man calms a little, but the looming threat of being cut down is still in the air. In the moonlight, your husband looks imposing, his red eyes glow as his short black hair moves along with the wind - all he’s missing is the scythe, standing tall and oh so close to putting his hand on the hilt of his sword.

Ash slowly lowers his hands when Dion sneers at him one last time and turns his back. Tension still in the air and in everyone’s body, they continue the walk. Each step is on the verge of being heavy, but caution prevents them from dragging their feet. The captive was soon thrown over Dion’s shoulder, the sound of dragging getting on his nerves while Ash brought up the amount of noise it made. 

The captive and Ash stare at each other in silence. He almost feels bad for the man, but the doctor quickly reminds himself that he was his employer’s enemy - if he pities him he might cave in and help. But helping would mean that Dion would cut his pay, assuming he doesn’t put him six feet under. 

Or both.

“... we’ve been walking for a bit now. Maybe you should turn around to let the man get a view. We might have taken a wrong turn.” The doctor suggests as Dion hums, considering it. He halts and drops the man who lands face first on the ground. Dirt gets in his eyes, groaning in pain as he rubs it out. 

“If you try to run I’ll cut your legs off.”

“And this is why you don’t have any friends.”

The captive listens in confusion, baffled that there’s someone who can shit talk the infamous Dion Agriche and live. A pause and he stands to his full height, a head shorter than your husband. Dusting himself off, he quivers under Dion’s sharp gaze. His voice cracks as he looks around before giving them directions. 

Or at least, attempts to. 

Swoosh 

Thud!

“Wha!?” Ash backs away as an arrow impales the imposter’s head. He falls to the ground immediately, eyes becoming lifeless. Blood pools underneath his head as some drips down his face. Dion whips his head to the right, where the arrow came from. 

Swoosh

Before it can hit him, Dion catches the arrow with his hand after rushing in to save Ash. He snaps it in two easily. The forest becomes quiet. Both men look to the right, but sense nothing. 

The Agriche feels a hit to his pride once he realizes that he had just lost his prey. His scowl deepens, and Ash squats to investigate the dead body that lays on the cold ground. 

Gently, he lifts the head, getting a good look at the fatal wound. Upon closer inspection, the head of the arrow was dipped in a purple liquid - most likely poison. He glances at the man standing behind him, but quickly returns his attention to the corpse. 

‘Not that it matters if he got hit… he’s immune to most if not all poisons. Oh, but what if he’s not immune to this one?’

The doctor mentally questions as he looks over his shoulder again. Only to be met with the sight of Dion licking the arrow head, tasting the possible poisonous liquid without a second thought. Ash blinks blankly.

‘Are all Agriches like this?’

“It’s poison -” the black haired man starts before he gets interrupted, holding the urge to throttle his employee back. It’s so tempting.

“Obviously -”

“- that’s made from Mellow light*” He finishes while he glowers at Ash. “How unfortunate. Had I known it was drenched in it I would have let it hit you.” A crooked smile plays on his lips as the redhead furrows his brows at the younger man's ‘teasing’. 

“Ha ha. That’s enough from you - what do you want to do with the body?” He looks at the corpse next to him. “Should we burn it? Or bury it?” 

“We’ll bring it with us.” Answer your husband. Without another word, he grabs the corpse by the collar of the shirt and drags it alongside him. “It’d be interesting to see their reactions.” 

Ash stays quiet. 

- - -

“Where’s the doctor and the young master?” 

“I saw them heading that way…”

“Were we abandoned?” 

“Do you honestly think they would do that? Master Lant would have a field day if the young master just up and left. Even if he’s the favorite, he wouldn’t be able to get away with doing such a thing.” 

Chatter fills the air as the soldiers scratch their heads. Stars twinkle in the night sky, and yet despite the pretty sight, only tension is present. Everyone is tense as some look around them to make sure nothing or no-one surrounds them.

“Actually,” one young man starts after he looks around, “where’s Adam? I haven’t seen him since we got back.” 

“Maybe the young master disposed of him.” One says casually.  

“Or he was eaten by a monster and that’s why the other two left - to investigate. It’s normal for them not to say anything sometimes.” Another man offers up, scratching his head despite the implication that their fellow soldier is dead somewhere.

It’s a normal occurrence they’re used to seeing rather than experiencing - it was only a matter of time until someone from their group would die in action or get disposed of by one of the Masters.

Despite their unease, they stay at the camp, weapons ready and alert about their surroundings. The night was still young and the person in charge was missing. 

- - -

They stopped at an abandoned cabin. However, like the fools they are, chatter is loud enough to be heard from outside, and a lantern was lit inside, showing the silhouettes of people through the windows. Two people stood guard outside, Dion and Ash hiding near the trees. 

“Talk about being obvious,” Ash mumbles under his breath, staring at the sight with furrowed brows. Wasn’t this a little too easy? Out in the open, did they think that the night alone would conceal their presence?

Or maybe this was a trap. Making it look too easy so attackers would act cocky or something along those lines. Acting without thinking. Makes it easy to -

“This is dull.” Dion walks out into the open, clearly having no intention of staying hidden. Unlike the swordsman, the doctor says in hiding. He sighs, shaking his head as he quietly prays for the poor souls. Three strikes of his sword and both are on the ground, dead. One with a slash to his neck and the other was pierced with Dion’s sword to his head. Their bodies fall to the ground with a ‘thud’. 

Then, he kicks the door in without warning, caution thrown into the wind, the corrupted noble acting out of character. Slowly, the doctor follows after, watching from the doorway as your husband swings his sword to slash someone’s eyes, making them blind. The Agriche jumps back when one of the men thrusts their sword with all his might towards your husband’s chest.

He deflects it easily. 

From the doorway, Ash witnesses as the younger male swipes his opponent from his feet, his booth making contact with their own, causing the enemy to trip over. Dion wastes no time in bringing his sword down, blood splattering on his boots and floor, the hem of his cloak also now stained as he kills him. There is no remorse in his red eyes. 

The doctor shivers. 

Two capable men remain. They look at the brooding figure like he was a beast - and perhaps he was, the man emotionless when it comes to his victims. Shaking in their boots, their hold on their sword’s hilts loosen. Their eyes are so wide it’s cometical.

“Remember to leave one alive,” Ash shouts from the doorway. Dion doesn’t spare him a glance as he rushes forward, and another man is killed. Blood is shed and none of it is from him. 

The man who was blind by the Agriche writhes on the floor, palms pressed against the wound as he tries to soothe it. He’s also sobbing, and for a moment, the sound reminds your husband of you.

He’s quickly ripped out of his thoughts as his opponent dashes towards him, lifting his sword and is about to bring it down before Dion just… stabs him in the chest. The sword falls to the floor with a clatter as the man cripples over in pain. Slowly, life fades from his eyes, your husband taking it upon himself to end his life faster.

The sight is reflected in scarlet eyes and their owner feels nothing. He’s all but a canvas painted a bright red, no more room for anything else to be added, black fading at the corners.

The wails of the now blind man reach his ears. He turns on his feet, realizing he should have let one of the enemies who could still see live. A blind man can only help so much with directions. 

Dion takes a quick glance around the one room cabinet only to realize one thing - there are no arrows. Whoever the archer was, they were not here. His eye twitches but he calms himself as he looks at the injured man on the floor, blood dripping from his eyes onto the wooden floor.

His steps are heavy, the floorboards creaking under his weight. Ash reaches the new victim before Dion does. He only stares, standing above him as the doctor checks out the gash. 

“F-fuck! You - you -” The nameless man stutters out before he stops to sob, the pain unbearable. Ash doesn’t blame him.

“He’ll kill you if you keep talking without permission.” A half-lie, the doctor giving your husband a look. “Just keep your mouth shut until spoken to.” Reaching into his coat's inner pocket, he brings out a small bottle full of some type of medicine. 

Dion scoffs as the doctor rinses out the wound, dusting himself off as the wails get stronger. Louder. What was the point of performing first aid? It’s not like he’ll live for long.

Without heistance, Dion kicks the man in the stomach once Ash is done ‘treating’ him. He’s getting impatient - their idiotic and poor attempt to kill him, to trick him was only making the length of his mission longer. He could be with you right now. Watching as your chest slowly rises up and down as you sleep, as his insomnia prevents him from joining you.

He could be in your shared bed by now, the only time you don’t squirm under his gaze. When he can trace the contours of your face with his eyes, wishing that he could do it with his fingers instead. 

He directs his attention back to the matter at hand. Thinking about you only distracts him.

“Talk. The longer you lie or stay quiet, the longer I’ll beat you.” Not a complete lie. He swears he’s trying to be a bit less brutal. For you.

But it’s hard when it was hardwired into his very being at a young age.

“I-I don’t -”

THWACK

Another kick to the stomach that has the man wheezing. Drool flies from his mouth as he doubles over in pain. His entire body feels wrecked, his eyes fucked for the rest of his life, no matter how short. Breathing hurts but his lungs won’t stop seeking for oxygen. The burning sensation almost makes him wish he was dead. 

“Ugh… I-I was ju-just ordered to be stationed here…” He braces himself for another kick that never comes. However, he doesn’t delude himself into thinking that the threat before him has decided to let him rest. He knows that Dion is planning something else. 

And he’s scared to find out what.

“So you’re mercenaries. Who hired you?” The interrogation continues. 

“I-I didn’t see his fa-face… he wore a ma-mask. Dark blue. A-a bit shorter th-than you." The mercenary gives details as he prays that his death will be a swift one. He knows he’s not leaving alive. 

- - -

The matter was out of their hands now. He has to report everything to Lant, and wait for further instructions. It’s a routine he hates.

He’s treated no better than a show dog.

“At least you’re almost done with the original task.” The doctor tries to be positive.

Dion doesn’t answer as he brings the blind mercenary with him. Unlike with the first one, he carries this one over his shoulder the entire trip back to camp. It’s quicker and easier, while dragging him would slow him down a bit. 

It doesn’t make him dislike it any less. 

“Surprised you kept him alive.” The doctor stares at the unconscious man as he walks behind Dion. “What about the rest of the bodies?”

“We leave them as a message,” is all your husband says. What a crude thing to do, Ash thinks. But he doesn’t comment on it further. 

By the time they reach camp, the soldiers look on in shock as their leader returns covered in splatters of blood with a man on death’s door slung over his shoulder. 

- - -

  “...you want me to do what?”

“Take the money and buy the necklace I told you about earlier. I’ll either be kicked out or they’ll run away immediately as soon as they see me.” He gestures to his messy appearance.

“Just take off your cloak! Wash your face! Besides, what will your wife think if she ever finds out I was the one who got it!? She’ll think that you’re lazy and it’ll only make her view of you worse!” 

The hunting party is on the outskirts of a town they passed by on their way to the hunting grounds. Dion stares at Ash with money in his hand, silently ordering him to take it and buy a necklace that matches your pretty and lovely eyes. 

Dion had passed through the town himself a few weeks ago while out on a different mission. Curious, he decided to check out the local jewelry store. He was only supposed to take a peek, not leave with plans to buy a certain piece. The only reason he didn’t get it right then and there was because he forgot his wallet. 

He still holds that against himself to this day. While it’s true he could have used his status as being part of the Black Clan, it didn’t sit right with him. How soft has he become?

It’s all your fault. And yet, he doesn’t hold it against you. It’s impossible to do so.

“... I suppose you’re right.” 

“Then go get it yourself!” 

The blind and unconscious mercenary is forgotten on the carriage that also holds some monster parts.  

The soldiers in the background try their best to ignore their conversation. But it’s hard when the doctor’s frustration is bursting through the streams, clearly done with their leader. While it was common knowledge among this group of how the two butt heads, it’s a secret outside of it.

For a mere common doctor to go against a child of Agriche, it would be a death sentence. Especially with his occasional condescending remark or tone that would bring punishment or even death for anyone else. However, for whatever reason, Ash Katopodis was the only one who ever lived without injury after shit talking Dion Agriche. The first time it happened, they waited with baited breath for the doctor to fall to the ground, dead. 

The second time it happened they thought it was fluke. 

Everything after that showed that he had a privilege that no-one else ever will have. It’s curious how he’s the only one. 

One time, a soldier, a stupid one, who overheard Dion’s men talk about it did try to snitch on them to Lant, hoping to bring down Dion’s reputation. Safe to say his death wasn’t quick and painless. After that, they all realized that the only reason Dion kept them around was because they knew when and how to keep their mouths shut.

Still, it was entertaining for a man below Dion in status to lose his temper with the crimson eyed noble. 

Even if they can’t hear every word. 

“Take off the cloak - oh. Right. The Agriche crest.” The sudden memory of what’s engraved into that uniform hits Ash hard. How stupid of him to barely remember.

“You there! Come over for a second.” Not waiting for Dion’s response, Ash calls over one of the soldiers. He walks over in confusion, slightly irked that a doctor dared to order him around. But due to his leader being there, he keeps his mouth shut.

“Y-yes?” The man looks at both of them with uncertainty in his eyes. Worried, he keeps himself from turning around to avoid your husband’s eyes. 

“Can you lend him your cloak? Just for a bit.” 

Dion glares daggers at Ash.

- - -

“We-welcome! How may I help you to-today?” Open twenty-four-seven, Ash watches as Dion had knocked on the door of the store, deciding to stay in his stained clothes and dirty boots while staying outside, not staining the store’s floor. How benevolent of him.

The owner, who was originally confused and slightly annoyed, quickly changed tune once he saw the two men. Since he had met Dion before, he knew who he was. Which meant his automatic fear and willingness to work with him and not send him off only made sense.

“The necklace,” Dion starts while recalling how it looks, “the simple gold one with a small (e/c) jewel in the middle - how much?” He knows it’s genuine after the first time he examined it. What he forgot was the price.

This isn’t like him. None of this is. But the second you entered his life, he’s been… different. 

The owner blinks before answering. “Oh, that one? It’s 1240 - but for you, I’ll only charge half.” Business is still business to this man, clearly. Still, seeing how it’s an Agriche who’s his customer, he doesn’t want to test his luck too much.

It’s also amazing how he memorized the price of each and every one of his goods. 

“Alright.” Dion doesn’t try to negotiate to lower the price further. Ash watches in amazement as the exchange comes to an end as the gift is placed in a small elegant blue box that’s carefully placed into his pants pocket. 

- - -

Ash left the party before reaching the Agriche estate.

Everyone else goes their own ways once everything is reported to Lant, the head of the family scowling at the news. Perhaps too tired to care much, considering the time, he dismisses everyone without incident. Everyone but Dion, that is.

“The girl didn’t leave your room today. Were you too rough before departing?” His father takes a puff from his cigar as he questions his son on a matter that frankly, doesn’t concern him. His ugly smirk only makes the context worse.

“... she’s still getting used to ‘it’.” A simple lie that has his father chuckling. It’s nails on a chalkboard, making his ears bleed. 

“Interesting. I never thought you would be that type.” One more puff after a suggestive line. “Well, it’s late - you should get some rest. Or don’t, depending on your mood. It’s not like she can deny you.” 

His hands form fists before they relax. Getting mad here wouldn’t help. Even though every fiber of his being is enraged that Lant is treating you like a sex toy - then again, in his eyes, you probably are. A nice little breeding tool given to him, his son.

He ignores the urge to give in and punch him. 

He wonders how long he’s had these violent feelings towards him.

“Yes, father.” And with that, he leaves. 

The walk to your bedroom feels longer than what it is. Too long. Even so, he doesn’t rush, knowing that you prefer it when he’s gone. A part of him does feel guilty about it, really. At times, he does consider separating himself from you physically - as long as you’re married, as long as you don’t look at anyone else, as long as you belong to him, it should have been fine.

And, truthfully, it was, at first. He was content with the knowledge that you were his wife and he was your husband. Looking from afar would sate his needs, small dinners here and there would have been better than fine. Just hearing your voice would improve his mood, and sharing a bed with you was nicer than nice. 

That day when you were sitting on the floor and fell backwards, head resting on his legs, he couldn’t help but admire your beauty. 

Although, looking back on it now, you probably took it differently.

The night where you allowed him to touch you, his fingers on the bare skin of your back, how loose you were with him, his resolve started to crumble. He shouldn’t have done that. He shouldn’t have acted in a suggestive way, either the position sending his mind places that you clearly didn’t appreciate nor agreed with. He should have gotten up the moment he was done with untying the strings and not imply he wanted to make you cum with both his words and actions.

His behavior that night only served to drive you away further. 

You both had your first time together, which was amazing - but he does regret how it went. He should have been softer, kissed you, whispered praises in your ear as he slowly, inch by inch, entered you, said you were beautiful because you were, because you are. 

But, shamefully, he was caught up in his head. Too eager to take you, to become one, his actions only worsen your impression of him. He should have been better. Instead of trying to hold himself back which only made him look disinterested, made him look selfish with sexual pleasure, he should have given in a little bit, at least with making you cum and sweet words he should have said instead of calling you cute only when you started to cry.

Maybe then, you would be more welcoming to fleeting touches and even accept a kiss to the forehead or at the very least, hold his hand. But now you only see him as a perverted creep, and no matter how hard he tries, everything only backfires on him.

He has no-one to blame but himself. 

He pauses once he reaches the bedroom doors. It’s only now does he realize he didn’t wash up - still dirty and covered in specks of blood. Dirt in his hair, he wonders if he stinks or just smells like the outside. Or maybe that would smell bad to you too.

His eyes glaze overs at the thought of you shooing him away - can’t he just spend a few minutes with you? Maybe he should just… lock you up. That way, you wouldn’t be able to avoid him. You wouldn’t be able to give your attention to anyone else, if he just hid and locked you away all for himself.

A pause before he sighs through his nose. Not a good idea despite how tempting it is.

His thoughts are interrupted when his hand starts to turn the door knob without his knowing. He caves.

He’ll just take a peek. To see if you’re asleep or not. He’ll leave to wash up as soon as he sees you before going in.

Only he caves in once he sees you on the terrace, in nothing but your sleep attire. A frown pulls at his lips - it’s slightly windy - he knows this is only an excuse to get closer to you, but an obsessed man can only hold back for so long. In the beginning, he was satisfied with just being married to you. But your personality, your real one that shined through in the past, was addicting. Your skin was so warm and hair soft, and the way you  had clung to him during your first night would have eventually caught up with him, wanting to hold you in his arms again.

It didn’t have to be in a sexual manner. Your genuine sweetness was never meant for him and he knows this. But, at times, it does hurt a bit that you just don’t remember past events, no matter how small.

Quietly, by reflex, he enters the room and opens the closet to pull out a coat. The first one he sees is a gift from his mother.

Despite his distaste of it, he pulls it out regardless and walks to you. You smell nice, he thinks as he gets close enough to place the coat over your shoulders. He sees the way you tense but he still can’t stop himself from saying -

“You’re still awake.”

= = =

EDIT: *- it's a plant I made up. That's all.

tag list: @tiny-mimi @umi-adxhira @pix-stuff @queenofspades403

@manitscold @s-ajia @disappointment-san @rentaldarling @darkumbreon92 @puggyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[leonenjoyer69]

Look, I know I just posted a doodle dump with him like, an hour or two ago, but I also just drew and colored this and I need to share it immediately bc this is peak Elias cuteness

LOOK AT HIM!! THE GUY!!! MY BBG!! I wanna throttle him /pos

Also a version with the green vest under the cut

Squishing him

Anyways, that is all 😋

[brave-and-gentle]

hihi EB! i know the recent chapter just came out (still reeling /pos) and i don’t mean to push for second chances content, but man that fic has been on my mind! i bet this might all come up later, but was wondering if you have any hc’s for mom!mikasa, parental aruani since they’re expecting, or how the rest of the crew feels about having kids? :)

I hope Second Chances and dilf!Jean is rotting your brain just as much as mine >:) gahhh this is such a fun question, thank you for this idea! This is actually important to think about for my fic so I went full throttle <3 Mom!Mikasa

She plays HARD. She'll go out to the playground with Mason and come back home just as dirty and dusty as him while all the other parents sit back with their strollers and watch.

But she also loves little domestic activities with her son, like baking cookies (she does *not* let him eat raw cookie dough).

She can also be a strict mom - Mason has learned that hard way that his mom will not entertain questions like "can I get a candy bar?" while they're at the grocery check out line.

She definitely buys summer workbooks so Mason keeps learning over the summer.

By the time Mason is 12, Mikasa has made sure he does his own laundry - he's gotta be self-sufficient!

Absolutely nothing gets past Mom!Mikasa. There's no hiding vegetables under the table or skipping brushing teeth in the Ackerman household.

I can see Mikasa doing a lot of crafty art projects with Mason - coloring, teaching him how to sew, etc.

BLANKET FORTS. Especially on rainy/stormy nights.

Parental!Aruani

Annie is surprisingly more of a helicopter parent that Armin. She feels like she has to overcompensate because of her dad (she feels like she wouldn't be a good mom since she didn't have a good example of a parent), and Armin has to remind her to let the double A batteries breath (they will have names later but I shan't spoil them for now).

Annie teaches them self-defense - no bully will ever cross her children!

Parental Aruani can be a bit full of anxiety, but at the end of the day, they're great parents because they love their children so fiercely and want to raise them well.

When they're older, they pull their kids out of public school for a semester to travel the world as a family. Armin administers home school curriculum (their kids complain that Armin's a harder teacher than their public school).

Sasha & Niccolo

They really could go either way with kids - they'd be equally happy with or without them.

If they did have kids it'd only be 1-2 though.

Marco & Hitch

I think they'd have kids, maybe around 3-4.

Connie

I think Connie would have maybe two kids, but later in life after he's done being a goof and found the right person (I mean he's never really done being a goof, but ready to settle down).

Pieck & Porco

I actually don't think they'd have kids! I think they really like kids, but value their independence more. They're a great aunt and uncle to Reibert and Yumihisu's kid's.

Reiner & Bertolt

They definitely adopt! Reiner takes some convincing because he's nervous about being a good dad, but c'mon, Reiner would be the best dad! Because he'd be the dad he never had :')

I can see them adopting 2, maybe 3 kids.

Ymir and & Historia

OF COURSE they adopt a gazillion kids. By a gazillion I mean somewhere around six.

Every time Ymir says that's the last one, Historia convinces her "just one more and then I'll feel like our family is complete."

[specialgradefckr]

i found your blog through BYHTD and fell absolutely head-over-heels in love with your writing. my favorite so far was the satosugu nutjob fic where the reader has a panic attack. it made my tummy hurt for DAYS in such a good way and you did so well capturing the horror of the situation and how helpless it felt and AUGH i want to eat your brain and taste all the good fucked up ideas in there <3

but anyways. i read your twincest series last bc i was really hesitant due to my own personal yucky experiences, but i took a deep breath and reminded myself there’s nothing wrong with enjoying fucked up fiction and read it. and OUGH it’s so good i want to throttle that stupid bastard and shake him around like a chew toy until he stops being a Freak (all very /pos btw)

but all this to say, please. PLEASE. make shoko cuck him. i am prepared to beg. in fact i am begging right now. i need her to be like “this is how you make a woman cum” and gojo to be horrified but so horny about it because he realizes he’s NEVER succeeded in making the reader cum and now he’s fucking fiending for it but shoko’s like “nah bitch stay over there i’m not done” PLEASEPLEASEPELASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEA—💥

sorry i went fully feral for a second. anyways your writing is so delicious i love reading horrifying tummy ache inducing nightmare scenarios of my sexy blorbos 👍

i got this ask quite a while ago but it was sooooo sweet to hear!!! writers can get desensitized to the "punch" in their own work, so every time i hear that i hit the mark - hehehe that's score one for speg~

i remember being on a roll with that heatwave fic you're mentioning! i was wondering how to end it and as i started writing in reader's POV, it just got bleaker and bleaker, and the panic attack came on pretty naturally and it was just the perfect note to end on.

the twincest series, despise the obvious fucked up notion of it, is honestly not that bad in the grander scheme of things. there are no yanderes and everything is consensual, and you're also all the same age.

if you and gojo were childhood friends instead of siblings it would be very drama heavy, but honestly not problematic at all? like you're all sleeping around but you're not official so there's nothing problematic there skhjgflshdg.

twincest gojo is SOOOOO bullyable like. absolutely deserves to be bitten on the scruff of his neck and shaken like a ragdoll. he would probably get off on that though so hold that thought XD

as for shoko... honestly i liked her for the geto/gojo reader/shoko parallel, where it's like you're both discovering sexuality with someone of the same sex and wondering what it means (you wonder. gojo does NOT lol). and ofc geto and shoko are ostensibly the "healthy" relationship alternative to one another for both of you.

but ultimately they're there to add context and drama to the main pairing. shoko is also just like. smarter lmao. geto ultimately is a dumb boy and got attached to gojo who is, for all intents and purposes, emotionally unavailable. you aren't quite as emotionally unavailable but shoko can tell a losing battle when she sees one.

however,,, and especially because you begged,, gojo not being able to make you cum (and also not? realizing it??) is definitely going to come up later. shoko is probably too smart to stay involved with you but maybe she'll come up somewhere. she's the perfect character for a dream seqeunce...

anyways!!! i'm really glad you enjoyed! honestly the next fic for the twincest series has been kinda working its way through my drafts >.> fingers crossed i'll have something for you,,, "soon" lol

[redactedwriting]

basement gerard mutual first times?

HIIII god. yeah YEAHHHHyeahyeahyeahg. i’m gonna write this for a body that has boobs and a pussy! hope that’s ok!!

i got. carried away. jesus

i really really really wanna make this about like The First Time. the first time he fucks you. the first time he fucks. the first time you get fucked. yeah

yall have been together for a bit, couple months at this point. you’ve made out and maybe done mutual handjobs or grinding, but never anything like this. you’ve both never been with anyone this way before, never had sex, not once. not that you didn’t want to or didn’t try, you were both just…no one ever really approached you about it, even your past exes, of which you both had very few of anyway. but now you had each other, and it was perfect; you were each others other halves in ways that were too cheesy to seem true.

but now, you’re on your back as gerard hovers over you, his long hair pulled back in a halfassed ponytail. you’re making out, slow, familiar, wet. your hands travel up his hoodie, no shirt under it. he’d shiver at the touch, smiling against your lips.

“hey,” he’d whisper, pecking you a few times, making you both smile. “i know it’s sudden, but um. fuck, i dunno how to say it,” he’d blabber, nervous, breathless

you’d just lay there, patient and quiet, rubbing his back idly.

“can…do you want to. um. can i fuck you? like, now? is that…something you’d want?”

you’d talked about it before and thought so much about it on your own, and…you just want it. you want it with him.

“yeah. yes, g. fuck me,”

and he’d grin so brightly at you, kissing you again.

“can i take your clothes off? like, all of them?”

you’d wanna roll your eyes, because how else do you fuck? but oh, the consideration, the respect…..it’s bad out here /pos

“yeah. can i, to you?”

he’d nod, and you’d slip his hoodie off. smiling down at you, he’d do the same for you, slipping your shirt above your head and staring at your chest for a moment, hungry eyes. you’d call him cute and take your bra off by yourself, tossing it to the side, and he’d take a shaky breath.

“you’re. (name)…you’re stunning….can i draw you sometime? like this, just like this….youd be beautiful,”

and that’s a new one, never heard that…well, ever. but you’d agree and he’d smile again, but start kissing down your body, on your collarbones, shoulders. he’d leave little bites here and there that leave marks in some places but not in others. you’re increasingly getting wetter with every move he makes, and you feel his fingers teasing at the waist of your pj pants. he’d move back up to kiss you as he slips his hand down the front and rubs at your cunt over the fabric of your panties.

in this moment, shyness comes over you. a silly shyness, one that’s saying he’s going to be turned off when he sees the plain cotton panties you’re wearing instead of some elaborate lace pair. but he silences your thoughts with a small sound as he traces over the wet patch forming on the fabric, again and again, as if he’s drawn to it.

“you’re wet?” he’d ask, sounding genuinely shocked.

you’d pull him for a kiss and jerk your hips up, bumping his erection with your thigh, making his breath catch

“and you’re hard <3 c’mon, want you…”

he’d pull back and get his pj pants and boxers off, pulling your pants off as well. he’d stare at your panties for a moment, and the shyness comes back full throttle, but then you see a hunger in his eyes. that hunger comes out as he pulls them off and kisses you hot and heavier than before, “i’m so glad you’re in normal underwear,” he’d say, grinning against your mouth. “you’re so human. you’re just a fuckin’ human. i can’t get enough of you, c’mere,”

he’d dive in again, and you’d wrap your legs around his hips, pulling him down to grind against you. he’d make a small, desperate sound, grinding a few times for good measure before pulling back and shuffling for lube and a condom.

“you wanna do it yourself? or…or uh, can i?”

“you…can. i’ve done it to myself before, but. i wanna know what it’s like from someone else. if that’s okay?”

“honey, i’d be happy to finger you open. ready? cold…”

he’d slip a finger inside you, and it was cold, just as he warned. with his free hand, he’d rub gentle circles to your clit, slow and teasing, taking the edge off. you’d sigh and relax, allowing him to press deeper and begin moving the digit. after a moment, another finger joins the first, and he’d make a small sound at the sight.

“you…i can’t wait to get inside you. you’re so warm, honey, you’re so wet and warm and…fuck,” he’d half laugh, “just fuck.”

“you feel really good, g. it feels so-/oh/. oh fuck, do that again? please do that again…”

he’d try and repeat the motion, failing a few times, but then perfecting it. he’d crook his fingers and pull out, rubbing your clit with his thumb.

“that?”

“fuck. uh huh, yeah, baby. just like that…”

he’d fuck you like that for a long while, getting you dripping on his fingers before adding the final digit, scissoring the three open and plunging them deep inside you. you’re sweating slightly and your mouth is open on near constant sounds of pleasure. gerard is blabbering praises, you think, but you’re just a bit too far away to understand entirely.

his fingers leave and suddenly you’re brought back into your body, panting, eyes staring needy at gerard as he-oh, he’s getting himself wet and protected, that’s why he stopped.

“g…g, want you..”

“i know sugar. gimme a minute, then im all yours, kay? just a second more,”

and then he’s sliding inside you, thick and warm and long, and it feels like all the air has been knocked out of you at once. he’d lean down and kiss you, and you’d hike a leg up onto his hip. he’d still once he was inside you entirely. you’re nose to nose, panting the same air, sharing the same breath.

“you okay?” he’d whisper, eyes searching your own.

“yeah. you’re big…” you’d smile, knocking your nose with his. he’d smile back.

“sorry”

“don’t be, it’s fucking awesome,”

and he’d tip his head back laughing, shifting his hips in the move. you’d gasp, dig your nails into his back, make a small little moan.

“oh fuck, sorry-“

“no, no-‘s good…you’re good. you…you can move, i think, just go slowly,”

he’d nod, pull back, and slowly push back in. it’s good, really fucking good. he’d let out a full breath, heavy, and repeat the action again and again and again, finding a rhythm and sticking to it once you started making pretty sounds and moaning his name. you could hear how wet you are and how his thighs slapped against your own, you could feel his body on-in-yours. this was what it was all about, this connection, this…this feeling. everything.

“you’re tight,” gerard pants, moaning against your neck, biting your shoulder, “you feel really fucking good,”

“so do you-/ah/- you’re so deep, and-and…deep, fuck, i don’t even know-“ you’d smile, trying to form thoughts but unable to. he’d laugh, nodding in understanding.

“i know, honey. taking me so fuckin good…”

it’s far from perfect and precise, he slips out every now and then, eager thrusts and eager moans. but it doesn’t fucking matter, none of that matters, it’s him and it’s happening and you both wanted it. it’s yours.

“baby-g. gerard, i’m gonna come, i think im gonna-“

“come for me, angel, cmon. let go. lemme see you…”

“i can’t-fuck, im coming, gerard, baby-!”

“shhh,” he’d say, kissing you, rutting in deep and stilling deeper, squeezing your hips as you came on his cock. he’d whimper then, jerk his hips up inside you a few more times before pulling out and jerking off himself, coming onto your thighs.

[chaifootsteps]

kinda sad that last time there was a longer hiatus between episodes it was after Ozzie's and fans were still looking forward to the show coming back, even those who had some reservations

now it's a break before the Full Moon episode and I'm impatient to see it solely to know how much worse it can possibly get (though I'm happy that the animators are hopefully getting a break over Christmas)

side note, but is there a fandom name where you get protective over a character solely because the narrative keeps insisting they're in the wrong when they clearly aren't? I see people calling Blitzo a POS and etc and while I get why other fans/criticals don't like him as a character, imo no one deserves to be treated the way Stolas has treated him.

No one should need to pass some goalpost-shifting 'Good Person Test' for it to be wrong for them to be exploited and coerced into sex. It's just a distraction, yet again, from talking about how what Stolas did was wrong and he has far less excuse due to his privilege for being a terrible person

I feel like there is a name for it -- TvTropes has Informed Wrongness, but that's a situation, not a character -- that's right on the tip of my tongue, but I can't quite find it. Whatever it is, that's Blitz in a nutshell. Stella too.

Vi's insistence that anyone who upsets Stolas is a gigantic piece of shit regardless of why they did it is throttling her show. It's like if 50 Shades of Gray met an 80s cartoon where the complainer is always wrong.

[bug-decal-kissing]

Hey friends!

I'm a god auditor not a babysitter!, by othersin, was updated today, with 2/3 Chapters released! It has a rating of General Audiences and Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, with additional tags "Fluff, Funny, Cute, ProhibitedWish, scarab is not having fun"

You can read it here:

Hey what if, Scarab got throttled, would that be crazy or what/silly. Do not be mean to the BABY, POLLY DID NOTHING WRONG </3 AND FOR ONCE I AM PLEASED THAT SCARAB IS GETTING YELLED AT/j. He'd better redeem himself in the next chapter or I'm never looking at him ever again/j.

Not That Bad, by Megastrum, was updated today, with 4/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Fluff, Angst, Prohibited wish - Freeform, Slow Burn, Touch-Starved, My First Fanfic, Scarab Has Trust Issues"

You can read it here:

PRISMO IS LEARNING <3333333 AND A SOFT MOMENT WITH FIONNA AND CAKE, YES !!!!! Which was then quickly diverted by Prismo learning what Touch is and also Scarab is traumatised :[ my poor boy </3

A new work, Wrath of the Wishmaster by Void_Ink_Studios was published today, with 2/2 Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Scarab has identity issues, Orbo is the worst, Prismo gets mad, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Chronic Pain, Scarab has Chronic Pain, Established Relationship"

You can read it here:

Both of the Chapters in this work are also on Tumblr, you can find them here and here :]. Let me tell you when I first read these I was losing my mind, they're so GOOD/pos !!!! Prismo just being there for Scarab was making me feel so many Emotions, I love it. I love this work !! And I HATE ORBO >:[

Whim of Wind Took Me South, by Thehyperfixationking, was updated today, with 6/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Attempted Murder, very unsuccessful attempted murder, Eventual Romance, Alternate Universe, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, Hurt/Comfort, Multiverse Travel, no beta we die like old man prismo, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, no rating yet cause the whole story isn't written may change, Enemies to Lovers, Farmworld (Adventure Time), Finn Mertens - Freeform, Jay Mertens - Freeform, Jake (Adventure Time) - Freeform, but like Farmworld Jake, Unique Weapons choice, Winter King (Adventure Time)"

IT BEGINS !!! >:}< THE STARTING OF ENEMIES TO LOVERS HAS GONE INTO MOTION; SCARAB IS NO LONGER TRYING TO KILL SOLSTICE !!!!! It only took six chapters, but that just makes it extra special/pos/j.

NSFW works are below the cut :].

I've decided to move works that are rated Mature and above below the cut; just to be safe :]. This doesn't mean that there's guaranteed to be smut or anything, but I feel better if works meant for older audiences are seperated./lh

Silly Bug, by TJade, was updated today, with 10/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Explicit and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Genderbending, Domestic Fluff, Teasing, Humor, Suggestive Themes, Awkwardness, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkward Conversations, Communication, Healthy Relationships, Voyeurism, Oral Sex, Threesome, Frottage, Sexual Roleplay, Dacryphilia, Degradation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort"

You can read it here:

I nearly forgot that these two are in Fionna's world and seeing characters like Kheirosiphon in Ch.9 is a pleasant surprise/pos !! I have a feeling Fionna and Cake have already begun to put two and two together but I can't wait for more >:]. Please let there be no identity crises or I think I will cry/j.

[studioeisa]

hiii kae it’s me 🩵!! anyway i’m over here to say i adore u (as always) but i am here to say i physically cannot let myself read DK’s f1 fic because i know when i do i will be a whole different beast i am not over the move and a whole lot more i could probably talk about for days but let’s settle with i will likely not survive :)) the reverse tropes has me in a choke hold though! keep up the phenomenal work and thank you!!! i will adore you until all of my carbon is gone (i think this is my best yet teehee!!)

xo,

🩵 (i kiss ur forehead bc i cannot reach your brain 😔 MWAH!)

my 🩵, i squealed out loud when i saw you in my main inbox!!! like ARIANAA what are you doing here (but /pos) ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´- i am equal parts proud and terrified of smooth operator, because there's only so much f1 know-how that i can fake it 'till i make it 🤗 carlos is however dear as hell to me, and i will be thinking of him forever n ever. i adore u, no stop + full throttle! <3 p.s. i got your uji ask on xinganhao, but i will be holding it hostage for the foreseeable future 🐈

[withnailandi-described]

[ID: the first image is a black and white photo by Murray Close, showing what would have been the fencing scene. Richard E Grant and Paul McGann are stood behind the table in the cottage, holding up fencing épées towards each other. Grant is wearing a fencing mask and has a cigarette in his mouth underneath it, and McGann is grinning at him. The second and third images are an excerpt from the original fencing scene in the script. It reads a follows:

"The dissolve completes into candlelight and firelight. Marwood sits in front of the latter writing in his notebook with the assistance of the former. Big shadows on the wall behind him. Withnail is fencing with himself again. Got a cigarette stuck in his maw. Decides to involve Marwood in the exercise and starts prodding selected areas of his back and neck. Marwood swats him off like an unwelcome wasp. But the wasp comes back.

Withnail: C'mon... on your pins.

Marwood: Stop it. I'm thinking

The poing of the épée pokes the very centrew of Marwood's head.

Withnail: C'mon. 'Here's my fiddlestick; here's that shall make you dance!'

And he prods and pokes further selected areas of Marwood's body. With increasing anoyance the recipient knocks the épée away. Withnail removes cigarette to intone à la Shakespeare.

Withnail: Oh calm, dishonourable, vile submission! Come on, you rat-catcher, will you walk?

Marwood: Last time I fought you, I thrashed you into the ground.

Withnail: Thou speakest bollocks. C'mon.

Marwood is suddenly on his feet, retireves another épée from the walking-stick tub. Now he's facing Withnail across the table.

Marwood: All right, Withnail. Prepare to die. Three hits to win, loser buys the drinks.

Here comes some Errol Flynn—and if it's spelt wrong it's because it's fought wrong. But these boys can fence—evidently part of their drama school training. I'm not going to describe it because I don't know what it'll look like till we're there. But Marwood gets a poke, 'One' into Withnail's throttle, which enrages him. Fag still burning he lunges at the coat hooks and grabs the mask. 'Right, you bastard', and the mask goes on. The fight continues. Withnail has donned the mask with his cigarette still in his mouth—a thing like a smoking beehive is slashing around the premises. Marwood finally wins. Withnail takes 'Three' and is down on the table point in his neck—'Yield? Yield?' And he does yield." /End ID]

the fencing scene that was cut from withnail and i, 1986

[those2hexgays]

viktor arcane triggers my cute aggression

[tobias-fell]

im too lazy to go back and find the number for book recs for the ask game but this is me asking for heist book recs hi hello

hell yeah. i have instantly forgotten everything i've ever read btw but here's what my brain will recall

Six of Crows, Leigh Bardugo

six criminals band together to break into the Ice Court (like breaking into the pentagon) and steal the creator of jurda parem, a drug that lets Grisha's (witches/magicians) power go full-throttle and become super dangerous. I love it soooo much, it's the first book in a duology, and it's just Neat, and i would die for Inej.

Little Thieves, Margaret Owen

This one is both a heist story and the consequences of a heist story. It has good quality heisting in it!! Summary, stolen from goodreads:

Vanja leads a lonely but lucrative double life as faux princess and jewel thief, charming nobility while emptying their coffers to fund her great escape. Then, one heist away from freedom, Vanja crosses the wrong god and is cursed to an untimely end: turning into jewels, stone by stone, for her greed.

Vanja has just two weeks to figure out how to break her curse and make her getaway. And with a feral guardian half-god, Princess Gisele's sinister fiancé, and an overeager junior detective on Vanja's tail, she'll have to pull the biggest grift yet to save her own life.

The Lies of Locke Lamora, Scott Lynch

tbh i wasn't sure if it counted, i thought it might, but it's on some goodreads heist books lists. so. I will admit that the heisting in this one is more in the first and mostly takes the form of Locke being a sly con artist bastard toward rich people, but like. I love this book. it goes on the list. (Summary also yoinked from GR.)

An orphan’s life is harsh—and often short—in the mysterious island city of Camorr. But young Locke Lamora dodges death and slavery, becoming a thief under the tutelage of a gifted con artist. As leader of the band of light-fingered brothers known as the Gentleman Bastards, Locke is soon infamous, fooling even the underworld’s most feared ruler. But in the shadows lurks someone still more ambitious and deadly. Faced with a bloody coup that threatens to destroy everyone and everything that holds meaning in his mercenary life, Locke vows to beat the enemy at his own brutal game—or die trying.

The Gilded Wolves, Roshani Chokshi

my brain melts when i think about it (/pos, dw) so i'll just put this here:

It's 1889. The city is on the cusp of industry and power, and the Exposition Universelle has breathed new life into the streets and dredged up ancient secrets. Here, no one keeps tabs on dark truths better than treasure-hunter and wealthy hotelier Séverin Montagnet-Alarie. When the elite, ever-powerful Order of Babel coerces him to help them on a mission, Séverin is offered a treasure that he never imagined: his true inheritance.

To hunt down the ancient artifact the Order seeks, Séverin calls upon a band of unlikely experts. Together, they will join Séverin as he explores the dark, glittering heart of Paris. What they find might change the course of history--but only if they can stay alive.