#Text Post Adventure

[nervouswreck-96]

Assorted Sonic franchise text posts (1/?)

[bruciemilf]

I’m on the second episode of My Adventures With Superman and I KNOW I know, this deserves to be Clark’s show, BUT HEAR ME OUT A SECOND.

Imagine the Waynes didn’t die and Thomas is trying DESPERATELY to buy the Daily Planet from White, but to absolutely no avail.

“For the last time, Wayne, you can have this company when the Gotham Knights win a Stanley Cup.”

“Y’all cheated last year and you KNOW it, White! Come on! We knew each other for 20 years—“

“Not true.”

“You gotta have ONE nice thing to say about me! You saw my charity records? My trip to the Amazon? I found a goddam dinosaur, for Pete’s sake!”

“And you sent it to the Gotham museum.”

“…Well yeah, it looked real pretty.”

“Look, Wayne. I can either give your ego the stroke of the century, or keep Lane and those two idiot interns in check, but I can’t do both. Now get out of here, or—“

Clark clearing his throat, holding two cups of coffee in his comically large hands, “Uh, the coffee machine broke, so I had to run to the store. Is this a bad time?”

Thomas whistling, because what the FUCK. “Christ, boy, how tall are you? How tall is he, White? You a security guard? You WANNA be a security guard?”

“Uh, Clark Kent. Idiot intern,” Clark introduced himself politely despite Perry’s grumbling.

Needless to say, Thomas Wayne is…Intimidating.

“I’ve heard about your research on metahuman physics, Mr. Wayne. It’s brilliant.”

“Oh, that? That was all my boy, really. He’s got all these ideas about reinventing the healthcare system for everybody or something like that. Hell, he wants to invent some bandaids for that Superman fella. “

“That,” Clark blinked, “Actually sounds amazing.”

“Right?. The other day he came to me like, ‘Can I have 30,000 for a research expedition?’ You should’ve seen him in his little lab coat, — cutest thing. Hold on, I have pictures.”

Clark expected a particularly eccentric 10 year not, not a — gorgeous— adult man in what looked to be a great amount of eyeliner and one hell of a scowl. “He’s…” gorgeous, “He seems interesting.”

“Ain’t he? You should meet him sometime. Hates talking to the press, but, I’m sure we can arrange something. “

“Good luck with that. I tried interviewing the kid alone for 10 minutes and Mr. Wayne here kept getting in the way. Probably because he has something to hide.”

“Bruce ain’t really made for the camera, so I had to step in, ya know how it is. He ain’t really the independent kind.” Thomas shrugs. “I know, I know, — you gotta leave em to fly sometimes, and while I bet he’d look cute tryin’,”

Thomas chuckles, but it doesn’t sound amusing. At all. “No bird leaves MY nest.”

—

Clark finds out why Perry can’t prove Thomas Wayne is Batman. It’s because he’s wrong. He’s listened to Batman’s heartbeat before. And Thomas doesn’t stutter.

Bruce Wayne does, thought.

[superbat-love]

Clark: [stares at Ace] Is that what I think it is?

Bruce: Oh, that’s Chewperman, Ace’s favorite chew toy.

Clark: You let Ace chew on a mini me?

Bruce: That’s what it’s made for. If it makes you feel bad, I’ll make one for Krypto too. He’ll love it, right boy?

Ace: Woof.

The following week at the Fortress of Solitude…

Bruce: Why is this toy kept behind a glass casing? It’s meant for Krypto. [takes it out of the casing and tosses it to Krypto] Here boy!

Krypto: [happily chomps on the Batman chew toy]

Clark: Noooo! Don’t! Krypto, let go of Batsqueak!

Bruce: Batsqueak?

Clark: It just feels wrong, Bruce! I can’t bear to let any harm come to Batsqueak. He should be kept safe in his ice cave, not mauled by giant fangs.

Bruce: …

[gothamite-rambler]

Riddler (on loud intercom): Attention, citizens of Gotham! I have contaminated the water with... dihydrogen monoxide. I repeat, the water you’ve been drinking, bathing in, and splashing around in today is filled with dihydrogen monoxide! What will the side effects be? You'll see. Have a good day!

Batman: That's just—

Random Citizen (waving his arms frantically, shouting): WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! PANIC! PANIC! PANIC!

Citizens across Gotham flooded the streets, screaming and panicking, some spitting and trying to vomit, while others made last calls to loved ones, some less than wholesome.

Angela Ito (on her phone): Mama, I always hated your green bean casserole, nobody likes it! And Baba was better at mahjong! Me marrying a Latin man was not a mistake! You giving me the middle name after your vagina was the mistake! ... Yes, I'm still going to Lisa's birthday party, maybe!

Angela ended the call, satisfaction evident on her face. Batman stared at her, bewildered, before turning to his Robin.

Batman: Am I the idiot, or did he just say the water is filled with water?

Red Robin (mid-sigh): Yeah, he a hundred percent said "water."

Batman: Right, dihydrogen monoxide is just the chemical name for water.

Red Robin facepalmed, embarrassed by his city. Batman nodded, patting him on the shoulder in sympathy. He then turned his attention back to Angela Ito, the on-field reporter, who was checking her teeth for lipstick in her compact mirror.

Angela: Oh, I’m aware. I just needed an excuse to tell my mom that. I’ll relay the news to the masses after my cameraman stops vomiting.

Batman gave her a thumbs-up, quickly hurrying off with Red Robin.

Batman: Why would he do this? It's not even a crime.

Red Robin: He's a dingus and being used as a distraction. That has to be it. I cannot, in good faith, believe he pulled off a dumb prank that worked just because people don’t know about chemistry.

Batman: Being a genius is a heavy burden; I can relate. Tell Oracle—

Red Robin (texting Oracle): On it. She'll put up posts on what dihydrogen monoxide is, because apparently people don't know how to use a search engine!

Batman: I know, I know.

[miriimeko]

Golden Wind text posts because I was VERY bored

[tehcherrya]

Somebody give me the rights to the LOTR cinematic productions so I can create a coming of age dramedy taking place during the seventeen years between Bilbo's 111th birthday party and Frodo leaving the Shire. I'd call it "The Shire Seventeen". It would not only include the Conspiracy as a backdrop but also a bunch of the development and growing up that was probably done within those seventeen years, that is entirely unrelated to the Ring.

It's a whole seventeen years worth of low-stakes hobbit Shire drama and shenanigans, guys-- I need that cozy comedy content.

[thealienrumi]

[fortitude-nine-point-eight]

Risotto Nero x Text Posts [1/5]

[lynnsdarkuniverse]

[yuyuvasya02]

Just read jojolion I like gappy so much 😭

I almost forgot how to draw normal skin color (Last one looks like a scene from lion king… from jojo lion I mean)

[toa-archive]

Thought these had been uploaded already and when went to answer an ask, discovered actually no. Only referred to them regarding a certain character appearance. Fixing that now! The following sequence is by Johane Matte and is from the film version of this particular scene we know better from Adventures in Trollsitting. No words, all delightful vibes.

Source

Not always good vibes necessarily but yanno. Upside of not uploading previously is not having to fight tumblr to add the video and instead fighting tumblr to... Post this in general. Apparently.

You'd think being Claire's house it'd be her finalised parents showing up but no. Surprise, it's Strickler!

If this post sits in the void as well I'ma getting the mallet.

[originalartblog]

I'm gonna force them to take care of themselves even if I have to resort to weird AU scenarios that have no explanation

(tiny Chuuya is using his own ability: mini-gravity manipulation)

[bonicedemandarina]

live laugh love Betty Grof, truly nobody is doing it like her

Click for better quality, also maybe zoom in a lil bit for some cool details

Actually lemme make it easier for you, closeups under the cut

[lithiumseven]

[gothamite-rambler]

Ivy: Hey, bat-brats! Which one of you do you think is Batman's favorite child? I want an answer.

Batman (hanging upside down, tied up with a vine whip): They know I have no favorites. You’re a weed for asking them that. None of you have to answer her ridiculous question.

Nightwing: He's right… Because it's obviously me who he favors the most.

Red Robin (shaking his head): Oh, Nightwing… No.

Robin (prideful): It's obviously me! Nightwing, humble yourself.

Red Robin: I figured you’d believe that. I'm his favorite child, I took care of him when he was more depressed than usual.

Batman: I wasn't that depressed.

Red Hood (walking over to a hot dog stand): It’s cute you think that, third child.

Red Robin (insulted): What’s that supposed to mean?

Red Hood: Nightwing is the oldest, Robin is the baby, I am the black sheep middle child, and you were the one born by accident because your parents forgot to wrap it up.

Robin: Exactly.

Red Robin: That’s not true! Robin was literally conceived because Batman used a bad condom!

Batman: You didn’t hear that, Ivy.

Ivy: Oh yes, I did.

Red Robin: You’re the fourth child, Robin, that he had at his geriatric age!

Batman: You don’t have to insult me; having kids at that age isn’t old!

Ivy: How old are you?

Batman: Harlot, how old are you?

Ivy shrugged enjoying the the bat-kids continued arguing.

Robin: Oh yeah well... you're short!

Red Robin: You're short!

Robin: Cause I'm a kid! You're an adult and short! I can grow!

Red Robin: There's no guarantee of that and either way I'd still be his favorite!

Robin (jumping up and down): LIES! ALL LIES!

Nightwing walked closer to Ivy with a grin.

Nightwing: I'm his favorite, though. Because I was the cutest, the first one, and he chose to have me.

Ivy (pinching Nightwing's cheek): You’re my favorite at least.

Batman: Stop touching my son! And just because I say that doesn’t mean he’s my favorite!

Red Hood (walking past the group holding a hot dog): I’m guessing it’s not me.

Batman: Well… I mean, I do care about you a lot, Red Hood. If you died again by the hands of any villains here, I’d lose control of myself again, so you know… yeah.

Ivy (smirking): Look at that! Hey, Hood, looks like you're the favorite child!

Red Hood: What?

Red Robin and Robin (the oldest having the other in a headlock): What?!

Nightwing: Papa, why?

Batman: I didn’t even say he was! I have no favorites; you’re all favorites! I love all of you- and that’s not what I wanted to say either.

Ivy sighed happily, snapping her fingers to cause the vines to release Batman, dropping him to the ground.

Ivy (holding out her hands for the cuffs): Petty revenge is enough for me. You can arrest me.

Nightwing chuckled, escorting Ivy away as Batman stood up, his face flushed. He walked off, his cape flapping, while his other sons ran after him.

Robin: You love us all, just say that!

Batman: No.

Red Robin: Say we’re all your favorites again!

Batman: No.

Red Hood: I knew you loved me!

Batman: Shut up!

[st4rshiptr00per]

yeah why not

part 1 | part 2