#This Week in Gotham

[go-blitz-go]

This Week in Gotham

Okay Y'all. I'm not sure when the last one of these things was done but with Robin being a weenie about it, it's up to me. So we're just gonna start with Friday October 30th.

10/30: The reason Robin feels weird reporting this week is because he got kidnapped. Joker snatched his ass right off the street! It's fine thought because I (with the help of Superman and the Street Side Supers(we're changing that name when we come up with a better one.)) saved him before anything too bad could happen. Other things of note would be Superman showing up in Gotham, and Bane found looking roughed up in the harbor. (Were the two events related? I can confirm. Yes.)

10/31: Halloweeeen! District Attorney Harvey Dent was released from the hospital finally. He's... looking a little rough.

11/1: A break from the sad news, Enchantress was spotted holding hands in the center of Gotham with Waylon jones. Rehabilitation works y'all.

11/2: Black Bat and Spoiler spotted on Gotham rooftop cuddling. Could this be the first glimpse of a new super powered power couple?

11/3: Nightwing is back! If you're doing crimes in Bludhaven, I'd suggest you stop if you value your bones.

[indelibleills]

Nightwing has been bringing red robin with him for the weekly welfare check on Jason. It’s going SO well.

[fanaticalthings]

POV: You're on Gothamtwt

just gothamite things

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[sad-littletalker]

If Bruce is covering as Nightwing right now, who's acting as Batman in Gotham?

Tim: ok so any takers for the cowl?

*everyone looks at Jason as he is the second oldest*

Jason: oh no way. Absolutely not. Tim?

Tim: after evil gun Batman? ha. Nope. Plus DC doesn't pay much attention to me to make a good story about that.

Damian: may I-

Everyone: no.

Stephanie: OH I COULD BE PURPLE BATMAN!

Cassandra: I want to be Batman if Steph is my Robin

*everyone considers it*

Tim: that... isn't a bad idea actually. I like it.

[arkangelo-7]

Let’s be honest, the only thing funnier than Dick and Bruce trying to co-parent Damian is Dick, Bruce, and Jason trying to co-parent Damian.

[bruciemilf]

I would love to see Battinson, — Victorian vampire thrown into modern times, Gotham royalty baptised in blood and poor social skills, ‘Count Dracula but make it vogue’, — have a Harvey.

These two dancing around eachother in the vicious loop of ‘wait, you’re flirting with me?’ ‘Have been for a decade, but thanks for noticing’, and ‘kiss your doomed bros good night’ is amazing.

But also? You would never guess they’ve been married for YEARS.

Dent, justice in putrefaction, one foot on the law’s neck, one hand holding fate at gunpoint, somehow bagged Wayne.

Who, questionable adoption habits and eyeliner application aside, is THE prettiest motherfucker in the tri-state.

Seriously. Dick saw someone drive straight into a traffic light when Bruce walked him to school.

He’s seen a lot of weird shit in Gotham.

By far the weirdest was seeing Bruce, current foster father, who once cried because Dick told him ‘good job!’ for not burning eggs, talking his husband out of committing a felony.

Because Dick got an ‘F’ on his essay about birds.

Harvey, tucking a gun in his waistband, mutters angrily, — thought, sometimes Dick believes there’s a third party involved, cause Harvey’s right handed, but he only shoots with his left.

“I would love to see Belinda climb a fucking tree for two hours looking for feathers.”

Bruce, voice like a pianist singing in the rain, arms crossed, patiently cocks his head, eyes dark and doe eyes and eyelashes dagger sharp. “Harv.”

And Harvey? Folds. Immediately. Like a napkin with blood stains on it. It’s actually kind of embarrassing.

[baltharino]

Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010)

[stealingyourbones]

HEAVILY debating writing a fic about smaller Gotham banks and their nonexistent security features because, when the daily/weekly robbery is all said and done; it’s cheaper to just have skeleton keys and combination locks with the codes written on a sticky note right next to the safe rather than fancy digital keypads and thumbprint identification and replacing everything every other day.

[methoughtsphantom]

silly headcannon #2 that Bruce never got the reference that Jason always made of himself being short round (he always thought it was Jason saying he was short) until after he died and Tim, avid Indiana Jones fan made Bruce watch the movies with him, only the man breaks out crying., sobbing, full on breaking down over the two second scene that is Indy ruffling Short Round’s hair as he explains they first met when he caught the kid stealing from him, and then took him under his wing.

[thebibliosphere]

I feel like I've complained about Tim's email situation in Gotham Knights before (edit: I have), but the truth of it is just so funny.

He's signed up for so many podcasts, video game streamers, and random news alerts; it's just a constant barrage of data going straight into his constantly whirring brain. Hell, he even floats the idea of the Batfamily having their own podcast as a way to correct misinformation about them (which Jason shoots down instantly), and it's made me realize something.

Timothy Drake would be a YouTuber.

In this universe specifically, Timothy Jackson Drake, the heir to Drake Industries and the foster son of the late Bruce Wayne would be a YouTuber.

Think about it. It'd be the perfect cover. Who would ever suspect that some 16-year-old nepo baby with a YouTube channel could ever be Red Robin? You'd have to be mad. I mean, look at him.

Red Robin just dropped out of literal thin air and garotted someone four times his size, and you expect anyone to believe that's the same kid who does 24-hour Minecraft charity streams and occasionally drops 6-hour video essays (his last one was on Lex Luthor's illegal bit mining operation on the moon)?

That kid?

You think that kid is Red Robin?

Ch'yah, okay, sure. And the Joker is funny 🤡.

[ifyoucandaniel]

ummm so have y’all seen that GQ photo shoot…?

this is sort of a joke for @bluelotuswrites fic The Hellblazer’s Apprentice on a fun way for bruce to find out jason is in fact alive and well. it’s also just an excuse to draw all blades jason shirtless bc i’m a hoe 😔

edit: now with fic!!! please go check out blues fun fic about model jason!

[fiyaharts]

the most toxic situationship to ever exist

[strawberrybyers]

being a slut and mentally ill means i’d do really well as a patient in arkham asylum

[ghost-bxrd]

The Pied Piper of Hamelin but make it Red Hood accidentally amassing a loyal following of street kids in Crime Alley that systematically sabotages the Bats whenever they get a little too close to catching him, including but not limited to staging brawls and muggings.

The Bats think there must be some kind of mind control going on because ain’t no way that kids flock to a violent crime lord without some type of magic or bribe involved.

Jason doesn’t know about any of this until there’s a group of furious kids jumping Batman, and another group teens dragging him away from where his neck had been kindly sliced open by his kind-of father.

[bluerosefox]

Drake Siblings

Have I read this prompt somewhere or was this a fever dream from my bored mind.

What if, now hear me out.

What if we bring up Dana Winters-Drake (whose confirmed to at least be alive in the DC verse but no one knows where she actually is)

What if instead of when she had a mental breakdown and getting committed to an Bludhaven clinc she wandered away before anyone noticed and by the time Tim or anyone did notice a lot of stuff started happening at once in both Gotham and Bludhaven (Steph dying, The Bludhaven crisis, etc etc)

Tim still tries to find her though but even with best resources it was like she just disappeared into the wilderness and the stress of trying to handle more and more problems get worse.

So when out of the blue, a couple of years later, he gets a call from an unknown number. On his private, only for friends and family, phone and when he answers he meet with a young girls voice on the other end.

A very young, maybe six or seven, girl who informs him about his apparently half-brother Danny Drake-Fenton. And how she loves Danny so, so, so much but knows her home is dangerous for him to be in.

Tim is stunned and before he could question her, she says Danny is Dana and Jack's baby and that her parents had adopted him years ago and put Dana's stuff that the hospital had away for him to look at when he was older but she just had to fight off their lunch from eating her brother and she knows he needs a better place to live and so she snooped around and found Dana's diary and that she had to unscramble the nonsense Dana wrote and found Tim's number with the words 'tell him about his brother Danny' hidden in it. And-

But before she could keep rambling she hears Danny screaming "JAZZY THE MILK WENT BAD AGAIN AND HISSED AT ME!"

Tim is left with silence after hearing Jazz yell to Danny to lock the fridge and step out of the kitchen as she gets the bat.

[luciaintheskyainthi]

Thinking about Jason having trouble taking off his head gear and Peter being way too smug about being able to just roll up his mask.

Not quite what you probably envisaged but this is what came to mind hehe:

"Look what I got!"

Jason did not look. His attention was on the building across the street, his entire world narrowed down to the magnified rectangle centred on a revolving door.

Even so, he felt a windswept cool body flop down beside him, swiftly followed by the scent of cinnamon and oil.

"If those are churros, there'd best be at least five there for me," he grunted and held out a hand.

No churros were passed over. Merely impish laughter that almost tore Jason's attention away from the crucial door. But he'd heard word of a certain political figure turning up here not long after several less than savoury figures of the Gotham underground. If he could get pictures of them coming and going, he'd have enough ammunition to blackmail them into finally approving the redevelopment of Park Row Middle School. Something they were single-handedly responsible for the dragging out of. But he needed the perfect shot, and knowing Jason's luck, such a shot would come at the precise moment he looked away.

"Not going to look at me?" Peter asked.

"Kinda busy, Bitsy."

"Hmm. You sure about that?"

The paper bag of heavenly smelling goodness rattled tauntingly right by Jason's ear and he shoved -- or attempted to -- the webbed menace away. All Jason really achieved was hearing more of Peter's laughter.

"Don't fuckin' tease me, you brat."

"How about this?" Peter bargained, still snickering. "You take off the mask and I feed them to you, since you're obviously so busy."

Any other day, any other treat, Jason would have contemplated shoving Peter right off the roof for the suggestion. Really, the cheek of him.

But... churros. Cinnamon sugar and fried dough... To quote Peter, he was 'a slut' for them. And even if he wasn't... Jason was hungry.

Blindly he reached back one handed, fumbling with the clasps. Peter's amusement was palpable but he wisely remained quiet and made no offer to help. The last time Peter'd tried to take off Jason's muzzle, he'd got a nice shock when he'd fucked up with the latch. Jason had nearly been on his knees with laughter because of it, but the moment had been a valuable learning experience for Peter: don't mess with the Red Hood uniform.

Granted, it had also given Peter several of his own ideas about how to booby trap his suit, but Jason was a generous guy. He even showed Peter how he'd wired a taser feature into the symbol of one of his old suits.

Eventually, the mask was off and set carefully on the floor.

"If you say 'here comes the aeroplane', I'm going to shoot you," Jason said the moment he heard Peter's intake of breath.

The night air turned a distinct shade of miffed. He grinned.

"Wasn't gonna," Peter said sulkily.

"Liar."

"Bully. This is bullying."

"Sure it is. Now hurry up and feed me before they go cold."

"Hehehe."

"Don't--"

"Here comes the aero~plane!"

Murder. He was going to murder Peter one day and blame it on Timothy.