#Totally not hyper fixating right now

[billygoat26]

Lucifer

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[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[nanamisgirly]

part 1, you can still read this as a stand alone.

cw p in v, unprotected sex, choso is kind of doing hyper fixation, nipple piercings, Prince Albert piercing, both are dominant, oral sex (f. receiving), big dick choso, degrading and praising, riding, mating press, face sitting. mostly smut with a little plot (?)

˖ 𑣲 reblogs and comments are very muuuch appreciated ma girliees <333

choso stood in the shower, slapping his head against the wall, cursing himself for what he had done last night. was he dumb? no—he was the dumbest. not only had he given you a lap dance, but he had totally lost control… all because he got carried away by gojo's antics… and your cockiness.

“i'm so dumb, please, what was i thinking.”

he must have freaked you out—you, his pretty crush. his lovely crush of five years!!!! he had wanted to wait for the right moment, take you out first, maybe? just keep it slow. he had plans—not concrete ones, sure, considering he had been putting off asking you out for four years— BUT HE WAS ABOUT TO!! and then? then, he flubbed everything. 

put his hand in your panties like some kind of pervert. 

“am i crazy?” the memories of last night kept replaying in his mind like a never-ending torture reel—the way your eyes had widened, gojo's obnoxious cackle, the way he moved on top of you…

his hands flew to his face, covering it as the image of him taking off his shirt surfaced. 

“why did i do thaaaat?” it's been hours now but he still was analyzing every second, every word, every breath—like some kind of detective trying to piece together a crime scene.

“i wasn't even drunk, just a little tipsy, please,” he muttered to himself. his brain refused to move on. he needed a reset. a cleanse. what if he vanished? he could pack his bags, drop out, change his name, move to remote village where no one knew the name Choso Kamo—

“you're miserable.” of course he couldn't do all that, and of course suguru and satoru had to invite you over their shared college apartment.

meanwhile you? you had spent all day thinking about last night. the way choso—the usual awkward choso—had moved against you, the heat of his body, the way his hands gripped you. the way his usual reserved, flushed face was nowhere to be seen—replaced by something demanding, dominant.

and it had left you aching. all day long, the pulse between your thighs wouldn't let up. only intensifying as you replayed the moment his bulge pressed against your heated core, giving you that perfect pressure.

which is exactly why you were in his room now. 

he had tried to escape you all night, hunched over on the couch, avoiding eye contact like his entire existence was a mistake. the moment you called his name, his entire body tensed, bracing for impact.

and now? he was hiding in his room.

choso had had shot up so fast he nearly tripped over the coffee table. “i—i gotta—” he didn't even finish his sentence before he had bolted to his room, slamming the door behind him.

a beat of silence had passed before gojo wheezed. “ohhh, he's so fucked.” as he exchanged a look with geto. you laughed, stretching out on the couch before standing up and followed choso right after he had left.

‘yeah, this was gonna be fun’ you thought.

he was so different than from last night. you needed to know if it was just a fluke. if, perhaps, he regretted it. or if he wanted you as much as you now realized you wanted him.

choso was losing it. he was pacing his room like a madman, running his hands through his damp hair, yanking off his shirt as heat crawled over his skin. his heart was beating out of his chest, his entire body on edge from just one moment of closeness with you.

but how was he supposed to face you after last night? after making a complete fool of himself? he wanted you so badly—had wanted you for years—but now it was all ruined. you probably thought he was weird… or worse, pathetic.

“…choso?” 

fuck.

your voice was soft, almost hesitant, but something about it send a shiver down his spine. he should have ignored it. pretend to be asleep. do anything but let you in.

but then the doorknob had turned. and there you were.

the second you had stepped inside, he knew.

knew from the way your eyes had darkened the moment they had landed on him. from the way you shut the door behind you without looking back.

he swallowed thickly. “y-you need something?”

you stared at him for a moment, eyes roaming over his bare, inked chest—his damn barbells—his flushed face, the nervous twitch of his fingers at his side. he looked unsure, so lost—like he had no idea what he had done to you.

‘how dare he look like that after making me ache for him all night?’

“…yeah,” you finally said, voice low. “i do.”

you stepped forward, pushing him back until his knees hit the bed. he sat without thinking, eyes wide, lips parted in shock. you leaned in, caging him in with your hands on his thighs. his breath hitched.

“i've been thinking about last night,” you admitted, your fingers tracing slow, lazy circles against his skin. “a lot.”

choso swallowed hard, his entire body going stiff. “y-you have?”

you hummed, tilting your head. “mhm. and you've bee avoiding me all night. i don't like that.”

“i—”

you don't let him finish. instead, you climb onto his lap, straddling him exactly like you had last night—right before geto had joked about getting a room.

he choked on air as your hands slid up his chest, slow and teasing, nails scratching lightly against his skin. just like you did at the party. “you danced on me like you wanted me, choso,” you murmured, lips brushing against his ear. “you even felt how wet i was. you touched my pussy… licked your fingers.” your teeth grazed his earlobe, making him shudder. “so tell me…” your hips rolled against him, pulling a trembling gasp from his throat. “…you don't want me anymore?”

that's all it took for choso to snap. 

one second, he was frozen beneath you, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. the next, he was grabbing you—strong hands gripping your waist as he flipped you onto the bed in one swift, effortless motion.

you barely had time to gasp before his weight was on you, pressing you down, his breath hot against your skin. his tattooed hands—nails painted a deep purple— pinned yours above your head, fingers intertwining with your own, your dark red polish a stark contrast against his.

“fuck—” he growled, voice rough, desperate. his forehead resting against yours, his dark eyes burning with unhinged desire. “do you have any idea how many nights i've spent dreaming about this?”

you shivered. this wasn't the flustered, awkward choso from earlier. no, this was the lapdance choso. 

“choso—”

this time, he was the one not letting you finish. his lips crashed onto yours, hungry, all tongue and teeth, all the pent-up frustration from five years of longing spilling out at once. his hands moved from your wrists to your waist, gripping tight, possessive.

his hips ground against yours, and you moaned into his mouth, back arching at the friction. that was all it took for him to loosen up completely.

his lips started attacking your neck, sucking hard enough to leave marks—his marks. his hands tore at your clothes, desperate to feel your skin against his. his mouth trailed lower, teeth scraping against your collarbone, sucking one nipple on the way as his fingers dig into your thighs, spreading them, his breathing ragged.

you whimpered, hips pushing against his, searching for more. and choso didn't even bother undressing himself—his only focus was you.

his hands were rough as he spread your legs wider, slotting himself between them. his breath hot against your inner thighs, and fuck, he was already feral with hunger. his lips drag over your skin, leaving open-mouthed kisses that sent chills up your spine. his fingers resting on your hips as he looked up at you, his dark eyes blown wide with need.

“i've wanted this for years,” he groaned. “thought about this—you—so many fucking times i—” he shook his head like he couldn't explain it, like he was too far gone to form words.

then he did the only thing he's capable of—diving into your core.

his mouth latched onto your clit with a desperation that was insane. his tongue flicked, lapped, sucked, determined to commit your scent to memory by morning. he was messy. sloppy. loud. he slurped, pressing his nose against you as he ate like a man on death row having his last meal.

he moans onto your fat lips, sending jolts of pleasure through your body. choso's eyes roll back at the sweet taste of you. one of his hand traveled up to cup one of your soft breast, squeezing, thumb playing with the hardened nipple.

“fuck—fuck, choso—” he didn't stop. didn't slow down. if anything, your moans only made him more drunk. he buried his face deeper, his free hand holding you open even as you tried to clamp them shut from the intensity of it. his inked arms looked almost sinful against your untouched skin—marked hands spreading and owning the softness of your body. 

"nuh-uh," he grunted, shaking his head. “not happening. you're gonna take it. gonna let me taste you.”

he was dripping. his cock was so hard it was truly painful, leaking through his sweatpants, leaving a wet spot on it, but he didn't care. didn't need anything except your pussy against his tongue, your thighs trembling on his broad shoulders, breathless little whimpers spilling past your lips as you fell apart for him. 

he licked everything. lapped up every drop like he was trying to drink you, tongue sliding through your folds, sucking, moaning, devouring you. 

choso was gone. absolutely, completely, ferally gone. he wasn't just eating you out—he was making a mess out of himself, out of you, out of the sheets. his tongue was everywhere, slurping up your slick, pushing deep into you just to hear the obscene squelching sounds echo through the room, riding you through your orgasm. god, he was so fucking shameless with it, groaning as he makes out with your cunt—as if he wanted to live there.

his face was soaked, his chin dripping, his cheeks wet with your slick. and he just kept going, even after your previous climax. he is obsessed, getting off on nothing but the taste of you. his big hands holding you open, keeping you in place even as your legs shook from the overstimulation.

"up." he groaned, pulling back just to take in the sight of your wrecked pussy, spread and dripping for him. 

you barely registered his voice, your brain still fogged with pleasure. “w-what?”

“up here,” he said again, gripping your thighs, his voice rough, hungry. “sit on my face.”

your eyes widened. “choso, i—” he glared, pulling you closer. “what? you scared?”

your face burned. “no, i just—what if i—what if i suffocate you?” this was genuine fear. no one had ever requested that from you before—no one had ever wanted you like this, so desperate, so feral.

choso just snorted, flipping you over with ease, positioning you right over his mouth. “sit.”

“choso—ahhh—”

he pulled you onto him, locking his arms tights around your thighs, forcing you to sink down onto his mouth. he lost no time to dive back in. tongue flattened against you, lips sucking hard before he shoved his face deeper, noise brushing your clit with every movement of his tongue fucking you.

“choso—” your thighs squeeze around his head making choso groan. sending vibrations up to your core.

his hips bucked up, his rock-hard cock leaking more pre-cum through his sweats, but he ignored it—ignored his own desperation, his own need, because you were all that mattered. you crying out his name, you feeding him what he'd been craving for years was way more important.

his hands slide up, gripping your hips, his thumbs stroking the soft patch of hair above your cunt. his fingers twirled the strands absentmindedly, tugging, playing—entranced by every inch of you.

he pulls you down harder, deeper as you start to grind against his tongue, getting wetter from his spit and his sheer obsession. and when your thighs twitch and your back arch and your cunt gushed against his tongue—

“so pretty,” he muffled. “so soft, so sweet, i could stay down here forever.” your fingers clawed at the bed head, mind blurring as another orgasm crept up too fast, too hard. there was no escape. no mercy. just the wet sounds of his mouth working you open, inked arms locking you in place, dark nails digging into your skin.

choso latches onto you, drinking every single drop, messy and greedy as he moaned once again.

“mine,” he rasped, tongue flicking, fucking you through the second orgasm even though your body was jerking from overstimulation. “you're fucking mine now. you hear me?”

your mind was fuzzy, lips parting as you tried to catch your breath, but choso wasn't having it. 

his lips were shiny with your slick, his face drenched, his eyes dark and hungry as he kissed his way up your body, pressing sweet, almost gentle kisses against your skin. But the contrast—the way his hands were still gripping you tight,—made you shiver.

“you can take more, right?” he murmured, voice soft, almost sweet as he nuzzled against your cheek. "you're not done, are you? my pretty girl can handle one more, yeah?”

your breath hitched. "choso, I—I don’t think I—” but he did not care. 

one moment, you were still straddling his face, thighs trembling—and the next, you were on the mattress, your legs pushed up, spread wide as he hovered over you. folding you into a mating press—big hands hooking under your knees.

you felt his heavy cock toying with your clit as he freed it from the drenched boxer. the tip already leaking against your overstimulated folds. you weren't even looking at it—the two back-to-back orgasms leaving you drenched—but damn, you could feel how big he was just from just the tip.

you tensed. “choso—”

“shhh, baby,” he whispered, pressing a lingering kiss on your smudged lips. “i'll make it fit. just be good for me, yeah?”

his voice is a mix of gentle sweetness and absolute filth, causing your walls to clench around nothing.

“ohhh, fuck—” you gasped, back arching, nails digging into his shoulders.

“shit,” choso groaned, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “fucking hell, baby, you're so tight—fuck, squeezing me so good—”

your pussy was strugglig to take him, stretching wide, the thick girth of his cock making your mind go blank. he was so big—it felt like he was splitting you open. “c-choso, s'too m-much,” you panted, legs trembling around his waist.

but choso only cooed, kissing your temple, his voice all sweet and reassuring even as he bullied his cock deeper. “you can take it, pretty girl,” he whispered. “you're made for it. look—fuck, taking me so well—”

but suddenly you feel something. 

a cool, hard press against your walls, dragging along your inside. your eyes widened, fingers tightening around his biceps as a sharp jolt of pleasure shot up your spine.

“w-wait, what—”

choso chuckled breathlessly, hips rolling just enough to let the metalic weight of his piercing grind against your sensitive spot. “you feel that?” voice barely above a whisper, thick wtih amusement.

you whimpered, thighs twitching as the sensation made your head spin. the prince Albert piercing was something you hadn't been prepared for—hadn't even know he had—but fuck, the way it dragged inside you, catching against your most sensitive spots, it was…delectable.

tears pricked your eyes, your body overwhelmed.

“mm, s'nice, huh?” he grunted. “been dreaming about how you'd feel wrapped around me like this, all warm ‘n’ wet, taking my cock with my piercing…”

a broken moan slipped past your lips as he rolled his hips again, the cool metal rubbing against your tender, stretched-out walls, adding a whole new layer of pleasure. your nails raked down his tattooed chest, catching on his pierced nipples.

your walls gripping him like vice, your body pulling him in even as you struggled to adjust.

“shit, baby, you're creamin' all over me.” you whimpered, embarrassment flooding through you, but choso just grinned, his hand sliding between your legs, fingers rubbing at your clit.

“nasty little, thing. acting like you can't take it, but your pussy's sucking me in—mhh, goddamn, you're loving it, right?”

you sobbed, head lolling back, body burning hot from his words, from the way he was praising you while talking so dirty.

his hips keeps pushing into you, pushing all the way to the hilt, forcing you to take every inch of his thick cock in one deep thrust. 

“choso—ah!”

“mmh, yeah,” he pulled back just to slam into you again, the sound of his hips smacking against yours echoing in the room. “fuck, baby—so tight—gonna stretch you out realll good, yeah. gonna fuck you open 'n—mhfp”

choso wasn't gentle anymore—fucking roughly, fast. animalistic. he pounds into your poor, overstimulated pussy like he owned it. because he does. his cock hitting that perfect spot inside you over and over and over—

“listen to you,” his eyes rolls back at the obscene sounds of your wet cunt sucking him in. “so—” slams “fucking—” slams “messy—” slams.

hot fat tears make their way down your cheeks, nails dragging down his back, over the swirling ink that covered his shoulders and arms, down to his taut stomach where his happy trail led to thick patch of hair at his base. 

you weren’t even sure what was hotter—the way he fucked or how he looked doing it. his tattoos flexing with every movement, his abs tightening as he drilled into you, the barbells through his nipples gleaming with sweat, the veins in his arms prominent.

“gonna make you my little cumdrunk girl, huh? my pretty little toy to fuck stupid?” he panted, voice thick with lust, his hips drilling into you. “feels good? best you ever had? tell me, baby—tell me no one else ever fucked you like this—” his grip on your waist was bruising, holding you onto place as your body jolted forward because of his brutal thrusts.

your mind was mush. you could barely think, barely breathe. but you knew the answer.

“n-no one—fuck, c-choso, mghn—no o-one everrr—”

“damn right,” he gritted out, snapping his hips harder, deeper, until you were seeing the whole constellation. “no one else gets to have you. no one else gets this pussy but me, got it?”

you nodded desperately, body already on edge, the coil in your stomach ready to snap—

and choso feel it, his hands went to support your thighs, hugging them tightly around his waist. “go on,” he growled, forehead sticking to yours, not slowing his pace. “cum for me, baby—wanna feel your cum all over my cock, please.”

your head rolls back as the knot in your stomach releases, vision blurring from the pleasure, cheeks reddened by your tears. choso still hadn't cum, dick still hard—and if anything, it only grows inside you as he feels your spongy walls spasming around him.

you had never felt something like this before—so high off pleasure, so insatiable, so utterly dizzy with lust that even after he had fucked you into oblivion, you wanted more. 

as you came back to your sense you take a look at the man above you, hair damped with sweat, chest heaving, face still shiny with your slick. cock twitching—and so does his piercing—gleaming with your cum and his own pre-cum.

strength surged back into your limbs—not much, but enough to straddle him. your palms landed on his chest, fingers splaying over his pierced nipples, the cool barbells sitting perfectly against your skin as you pushed him down.

his eyes widened. “are you—”

you smirked, dragging your soaked pussy along his length, feeling his pulse against your swollen folds, the hard curve of his piercing pressing into your clit like a tease of what's to come. 

“what's wrong, baby?” you cooed, tilting your head, feigning innocence. “tired already?”

choso groans, hands flying to your hips, dark painted nails digging into your flesh. “fuck, you're gonna kill me—”

“or milk you dry.” you wink at him, giggling at the way his cock throbbed at your words. you could feel the heat radiating from him, could see the tension in his shoulders as he fought to keep control. “i thought you said i could take more,” you teased, voice sticky-sweet.

the tattooed man cursed under his breath, jaw locked tight as he watched you slide up and down his length, your arousal coating his veiny shaft, dripping down to his balls, his dark coarse hair shinning with slick. “shit, so fuckin' messy—”

you leaned down, licking a slow, wet stripe up his throat, feeling his pulse hammer against your tongue before whispering, “wanna ride you, sweet boy.”

his whole body jerked.

“holy fuck—” and before he could process anything, you reached between your bodies, wrapping your fingers around his cock, tracing a looong vein going from his base to his swollen tip—hot, leaking. the weight of his piercing pressing against your palm.

your thumb brushed over the Prince Albert, curiosity flicking across your face. his tattoos were hot, his nipple piercings were hot��but this? the idea of that thick metal pressing inside you, once again? fuck.

“y-you sure?" choso stammered, his usual cocky drawl cracking into something desperate. i—i'm quiet big, d-don't wanna hurt you.” his flustered concern was endearingly cute, but you knew better.

“i can take it.”

you dropped. in one go. fast.

“FUCK!” 

his head slammed back against the pillows, his mouth falling open as your tight, soaking heat swallowed him whole, the tip piercing pushing past your entrance, forcing your walls to stretch around both his sheer girth and the unrelenting hardness of the metal.

“shit…” you gasped—his cock stopped right before your bellybutton—your pussy was still struggling to accommodate him, the stretch toeing the line between pleasure and overwhelming fullness.

his happy trail and coarse pubes grazed against yours, adding to the overstimulation, his fat tip hitting something that made your toes curl.

choso's painted nails sank into your ass, black and purple contrasting on your unmarked skin, as he took in the sight of you—you're messy hair, fucked-out expression and the obscene bulge pressing out of your belly.

you bit your lip, rolling your hips just right, feeling the delicious burn of his cock pressing on every spot inside you. “feels so good,” you moaned, taking your sweet time to enjoy every inch. after all, it wasn't everyday that you could fuck a pretty hyper fixated emo man. with a big big cock above all that. “so fucking full—”

choso was hanging on by a thread, every muscle in his body taut. his breath shudders as he tries to keep himself together. but the way you were riding him—slow, teasing, your cunt clamping down around him.

“you little tease,” he panted, voice strained. “you're fuckin' enjoyin' this, huh? making me lose my mind—”

you rolled your hips harder, making him grunt. “mmh, you like it, don't you? like watching me fuck myself on your fat cock?”

his palms landed harshly on your cheeks' ass. making you yelp in surprise. “fuckin' filthy—such a nasty girl we have here—”

you moaned, reveling in the way he filled you so perfectly, the way his big hands manhandled you even though you were the one on top.

suddenly you feel his fingers wrap around your throat. your breath hitched.

“my pretty little slut," he rasped, squeezing just enough to make your head swim, to make you even more aware of his piercing dragging inside you with every pulse of his cock.

his hips bucked up—hard, deep, unrelenting. 

“you want to ride? then ride, baby—correctly.”

your moans turned into choked cries, your body jerking as he thrust up into you, driving his cock into your sweet spot over and over and—

“c-choso, p-please—”

“pussy's like magic," watching as your slick splattered onto the sheets and his abs. "sloshing wetness all over me—fuuuck.” his gaze darkened, locked onto your bouncing tits, onto the way his pierced nipples tingled every time you dragged your nails across them. 

“you feel so good. riding me like a pro," choso was on the edge—panting like he'd lose his mind if he didn't cum soon. “th-thought you were scared it wouldn't fit?”

but you were gushing around him, walls spasming, your tight heat milking his cock for everything he had.

“baby, i—god.”

choso’s whole body tensed as his climax crashed through him. 

his hips jerked, his cock throbbing deep inside you as thick, hot ropes of cum spilled into you—so much that it was concerning. 

his head fell back, a deep, wrecked whimper slipping past his lips as he kept coming, his hands gripping your hips tight, forcing you down onto him, making sure you took every drop.

"shit," you breathed, feeling the warmth flood you. your walls still fluttering from the aftershocks of your own release, thighs burning, your clit throbbing from the stimulation. 

"choso, you're still—"

"i know," he gasped, still throbbing, still leaking inside you. "i can’t—fuck, i can’t stop—"

And neither could you.

it continued.

For hours and hours. 

choso had been relentless, folding you in every position imaginable—his stamina something straight out of a mythological tale.

and you finally stumbled out of the bedroom—legs gone. nonexistent.

you might as well have left them in the sheets because they were absolutely not functioning. you had to grip onto choso's arm just to stay upright, and the smug, self-satisfied grin on his face was not helping.

“fucking finally,” geto drawled from the couch, stretching out his arms. “took you two long enough to get a damn room.”

you groaned, burying your burning face into choso's shoulder. geto should be more worried about if you were leaving that room alive.

gojo, sprawled next to him, smirked. “nah, nah… room or not, i definitely still heard everything.” he turned his head towards choso with a shit-eating smile. “didn't know you had it in you, big guy.” 

choso was… shy? embarrassingly shy. he froze, ears burning, his mouth opening and closing like he wanted to say something—desperately wanting to find an exist to this discussion.

you blinked up at him. confused. because who's that the same man who whispered the filthiest, most dominant shit into your ear?

he was mumbling, looking everywhere but at you. “i hate you both,” he muttered under his breath. staring aggressively at the floor.

geto chuckled, nudging gojo. “oh, this is gold. he's all quiet now. what happened to all that dirty talk, huh? gone?”

you bit your lip, holding back a laugh. he was so shy. and it was adorable.

“actually,” he blurted out, too quickly. “did you know tigers have the strongest bite force among big cats? but hyenas actually have a stronger one in comparison to their body weight?”

silence.

you blinked. gojo and geto stared.

“what?” gojo squinted. “what the fuck are you talking about?”

“animals,” choso said even faster, shoving his hands into his pockets like he could just disappear into them. “as you know, i watch a lot of documentaries and—”

gojo wheezed. you smiled.

and the, because you were a menace and because this was the cutest thing you'd ever seen in your life, you leaned in—all slow, all teasing—watching as his ears somehow got even redder when you got close.

as if he hadn't just spent hours rearranging your insides. as if he hadn't been the most depraved man known to life.

you let your fingers graze his forearm, voice sickening sweet. “tell me more.”

his eyes flicked to you, wide, surprised. 

but when he saw that you actually wanted to hear him ramble, when he realized you were genuinely interested—his lips parted slightly. his shoulders relaxed.

and softly—hesitantly—he started talking again.

and it was kinda hot!!

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

I hope the anon who requested that is satisfied !! :3

[shy-writer-999]

Under the mistletoe with Ace ❄️

Summary: One of the crew members put up mistletoe somewhere on the ship. Will Ace finally lure you underneath, or will he chicken out? ~1.2k words. CW: fluff! kissing. gendered language, e.g. "princess"

Let's unwrap the first present of my holiday event! It comes with a pretty surprise—artwork by none other than @hirakyun13 who is collabing with me the whole event! 💓

Whoever decided to put mistletoe up in the ship had a good sense of humor. It was perched in a very opportune, deliberate spot. It couldn’t be more visible.

Who put it there? Marco? Someone else?

People passed under it all day long, cracking jokes about who they were going to kiss, pretending to grab crewmates into hyper-exaggerated, joke-makeout sessions. Guffaws and chokes of laughter echoed across the ship the whole day. It certainly made the ship feel like there was more holiday cheer going on.

When you first spotted the small bundle of green leaves, tied up in a pretty red bow, it must have been no coincidence that Ace was standing nearby, chatting with a handful of crewmates. He leaned on the doorframe, seemingly oblivious to what lied above.

Turning his head to look at you, he winked. It’s like he had a sixth sense as far as you were concerned—he could just tell if you were nearby, if you were looking at him, hell, sometimes you wondered if he could somehow read your thoughts. His radar for you was downright uncanny.

The winking had occurred a handful of times before, always when you were least expecting it. Ace pretended not to notice the way you instinctively averted your eyes for a split second afterwards in embarrassment. You brushed the sight off. No point in fantasizing about Ace standing under the mistletoe winking at you, right? That’s totally normal. Nothing there to hyper-fixate on. But as much as you tried to let the interaction go, it ran on repeat in your mind all day.

Later that night the crew had a nice feast. It was a special day, Christmas eve, a holiday out at sea that—even though no one really celebrated—acted as an excuse for a banquet, more rowdiness than usual.

Ace had a couple of drinks during the feast. He didn’t go overboard, but he was psyching himself up for what he was going to do later. His eyes stayed trained on you whenever he could get away with it and his mind raced. Was he going to be able to pull this off?

When dinner was over and everyone took their raucous laughter elsewhere, Ace knew that you had the habit of tidying a bit. Recently he had been joining you. He did anything to get some time with you, one on one.

“Want some help, sweetheart?” His eyes were warm, freckles devilishly handsome, hair sitting perfect. That’s the word for him—perfect. You almost couldn’t take it. Especially when he called you nice things like that.

You agreed, of course. You’d (similarly) take any time with him that you could get. As he helped you take stray dishes to the kitchen and wipe down tables (Thatch was taking a well-deserved break), Ace gravitated to you, maybe more than usual.

He worked beside you, so close your arms almost brushed. When the work was done, his heartbeat skyrocketed.

“How does a nightcap sound, princess? Or some hot chocolate?” His gesture was sweet, thoughtful, and polite—very much in character.

“Hot chocolate sounds good.” You smiled back, trying now to get weird or awkward, holding back the overwhelming feeling of being flustered.

Within minutes he had two piping-hot cups of hot chocolate in hand, grinning. He handed you a mug. It was the perfect temperature and tasted delicious (maybe it was so delicious because he made it?).

“I heard some of the crew say it’s snowing outside. Want to see? I’ll keep you warm, no need for a coat.” Ace’s smile was genuine, not suggestive in the slightest. He radiated pure kindness, emphasized by his chivalry. It made your heart melt.

“C’mon.” He gestured towards the hallway—the one that just so happened to have the mistletoe hanging at the end)—and you led the way.

As you advanced closer to the mistletoe, Ace was internally screaming at himself. It was the perfect opportunity. For Ace, time stood still. It was like you were moving in slow motion.

When you realized that you’d both be under the mistletoe at (almost) the same time, you turned red in the face at the implication, wishing that you actually could kiss him. A sweet holiday fantasy. One that you were sure would never happen.

So, you passed under the bundle of green hanging on the doorway and your heart sank. You had indulged in the guilty pleasure of fantasy, one that you knew was no good. No point in getting your hopes up.

Hopefully you would go back to normal soon, not frozen in bashfulness and cringe. You were painfully embarrassed at the thought of Ace realizing that you were flustered out of your mind. Maybe he’d realize that you were acting like this because the mistletoe, maybe he’d catch on that you wanted him like that.

Just when you thought the moment had passed, just when you were exhaling and internally steadying yourself, Ace reached forward and grabbed you by the hand gently, pulling you backwards and close to him so your bodies were pressing on one another’s. Up close like this, Ace looked better than you could have imagined.

His eyelashes were ridiculously long, it was unfair. You could see how deep and rich the color of his eyes was, how his freckles winked and danced every time he grinned like that.

“Wha—?” You reflexively blurted out, breathless, but he cut you short with a kiss. His big hand cupped your cheek and he pressed his lips on yours softly.

A thousand miles a minute, your heart threatened to explode. You went completely rigid, gripping the handle of the mug you were holding so hard you almost broke it.

The kiss was long and delicate; he caressed your cheek like you were something precious to him. The warmth from his hand spread to your entire body; it was thawing a chill that you had been holding in your heart for months as you tried to keep your intense feelings for him at bay.

When Ace finally pulled away, you could see blush dust his cheeks. His smile was softer, just as sweet, and his eyes were mesmerizing, riveted on yours. Somehow, he just got hotter up close, more captivating.

“Ace, what’re you—?”

“I couldn’t help myself, gorgeous. I’ve been wanting to do that for ages. C’mere.”

He pulled you into another kiss. Followed by another. He couldn’t get enough of you. His free hand wandered slightly, trailing downwards to your waist as he pulled you closer. A singular thought raced through both of your minds at once—“finally”.

Each kiss was romance movie levels of fantastic. Fireworks. A torrent of emotions finally flooding out, expressed, for the moment, in kisses alone. Who knows how long this would have lasted, or where it would have gone, if it weren’t for the unwelcome (but wholesome) interruption.

“Y’know you guys are really missing out on the sn—OH SHIT!” Marco’s jaw dropped and he shielded his eyes for a moment. “So, the mistletoe finally worked? Fucking hell, we’ve been waiting for you two goofs to get together all day.”

happy holidays~ i'm posting again (with another artwork by @hirakyun13) on the 18th, 20th, 24th, 25th!

the present for the 18th is looking very... curly and blonde...

regular masterlist holiday event masterlist

[thewritetofreespeech]

words: 1.3K rating: E pairing: Gale x Tav [pining stages of Act 1] summary: After so long of being unable to touch, Gale is finally able to experience physical intimacy for the first time in a long time. Even if it's just by himself. [ based off of a request for more details on the bg3 masturbation headcanons I did previously.]

---------------------------🟣----------------------------------

It had been a few hours now since Elminster had left. His old friend likely on the long journey back to Waterdeep, or whatever far parts of the realm ancient powerful wizards wandered off to.

Gale touched his chest for the first time in a while without total fear. The spell Elminster had put on him had worked. The orb felt less volatile than in the past. It was still there, laying heavy near his heart like a stack of bricks, but not like a stack of tinder boxes waiting to explode.

The knowledge of what this respite came with also weighed heavy on his heart. Mystra has asked that he make the ultimate sacrifice for the realm, and for her forgiveness. The latter of which was not guaranteed.

There had been a time during the beginning of his banishment when he would have gladly done as she asked. Blown himself up in spectacular glory. Opened every vein and let his life blood spill out to paint her likeness on an open canvas. He would have done anything for Mystra. But now….

Gale looked across the camp to where Tav was chatting with Lae’zel and Shadowheart. The three in a heated discussion from the looks of it, likely on what to do about the crèche and how to infiltrate it. Where they go next is of little concern to Gale, because it has no consequence for the damned, so he just looked at Tav as they tried to mitigate the argument.

Since that time in the Weave with them, Gale had been nearly fixated on their leader with a passion he thought only reserved for his goddess and books. But what he felt for Tav was so very different from those feelings. Where he revered Mystra he…respected Tav. Their strength. Their decisiveness. Their generosity to help and extend a hand to any in need. Their willingness to admit fault. He’d been beguiled, and the outer package did very little to help dissuade their spell.

Gale felt a tell-tale tightening of his pants beneath his robes as he continued to look and think on Tav, and was prepared to dampen those feelings down like always. With the orb he couldn’t risk any undo stimuli to his person; not with an ancient blight that wiped out civilization stowed away in his chest. But….that wasn’t an issue anymore, was it? The clock had stopped, as Elminster said, so he didn’t have to worry about blowing up. Just doing it at the right time, according to Mystra’s orders.

The wizard slipped back into his tent, unnoticed by anyone. He didn’t think that anyone would bother him right now. Assuming that Gale needed time to think in light of the circumstances. Which, he did, but not right now. There would be plenty of time to hyper fixate on his problems later. Right now, he wanted to test a new theory.

Unlacing his top tunic, he looking down his body towards his bulge now visible in his pants. Gale hesitated, but then slowly drew his hand closer to rub his palm over it. Instantly he moaned. It had been so long since he had felt the sensation of touch this way on his body. Depression and then fear drying up his libido like herbs on his balcony back in Waterdeep. But now a summer rain had come to refresh it. A reprieve. A chance to feel again. He didn’t want to waste it.

Removing the lacings on his pants as well, Gale opened his trousers and his cock sprung free. Seeming to know what was going on and more eager than its master to be touched again. He grasped the shaft and began to stroke himself. A burning tingle crackling up from his fingertip, down to the base, and up his spine. He forgot how good it felt to be touched. How long had it been since he touched himself?

With Mystra, their intimacy had always been noncorporeal. Mind altering. Mind shattering. But bodies completely removed from the process. He thought he didn’t need touch when he had the ‘touch’ of a goddess, so he did not imbibe in such activities. Then the option was taken away from him, and he could not imbibe. So he genuinely could not remember hold long it had been. Had it always been this good? Or was his long bout of abstinence merely the cause?

Gale couldn’t think more on his hypothesis as his hand sped up and his mind became soul focused on that feeling. He was beginning to pant. Drooling, even. He can feel that he was going to cum fast but doesn’t stop. His seed shot out in a long, thick ribbon on the side of his tent that he would clean up later, but he doesn’t stop. He needed more. Even as his cock twitched from having just came, it still cried out for more.

His other hand came up to touch his body. Play with his chest. Touch his nipples. He couldn’t remember how he used to like it before, and his fogged mind was not helping make decisions. His hand reached down into his pants as well to cup his balls, and Gale was cumming again quickly as he fondled himself. Still not enough.

Moving to take off all of his clothes and lay down on his cot, Gale attempted to calm his breathing as he slowed his hand. His cum acted as a lubricant now to help slide his hand over the still hard flesh. He hadn’t been able to jerk off this many times in a row since he was a boy.

As his hand slowed, the fog in his mind seemed to clear a little. Breaking way to the brightness of Tav’s face. He wondered how they would touch him. How those hands that gripped their weapon so tight, and the callouses at their palms, would feel against his cock. Gale whimpered at the thought. His hands were too soft to imagine it properly.

He thought of them being here, with him. Kissing them like he should have during that moment in the Weave. Touching their body as well as they moaned and whined under him. He could almost see it. Conjure it. But he would not insult Tav by making some malformed copy of them with magic. He wanted the real thing.

His fantasy continued until he came a third time, hot & sticky over his hand, and Gale seemed to calm down. Feeling finally sated for the first time in a long time. Who knew masturbation could be a form of self-care?

“Gale.”

The wizard jumped. His pliable peace ruined as he heard a familiar voice outside his tent. One he had just been fantasizing about moments ago. “Y-Yes?”

“I um…I just wanted to make sure you were ok. And see if you wanted anything for dinner?”

Gale was surprised as he didn’t realize how late it had gotten. “Oh. Dinner? No, not really. I can get started soon….”

“No, no! That wasn’t what I was asking. I can do it tonight. You just…if you need some time…we’ll be out here when you’re ready.”

He heard the shuffle of boots walk away from his tent. Their concern touched him. The clear worry in his voice over him pulling something in him that not only made his loins burn but his chest feel tight. But in a good way, not in the way this damned orb felt.

Gale decided then and there that he would not waste what little time he had left on wishes & fantasy. He would tell Tav how he felt. Then he could die without regret. He would just need to come up with a plan to tell them. Someone as beautiful, kind, and perfect as Tav deserved more than just a simple confession. The deserved the moon, the stars.

Gale’s eyes widened as he suddenly remembered a spell he’d created long ago. He’d have to remember how it was done but yes. Yes! That could work.

[daydreamerswriting]

OK HEAR ME OUT…

Dally x fem reader with autism hcs (or one shot or whatever u want)

Like idk just someone who is rly hyper fixated on certain stuff and like… other autism things…

Ik it was VERY different in the 60s but I just need my man to comfort me😝😔💔

Ofc this is only if your comfortable writing this 💯

an: Thank you for the request! I'm going to do headcanons so that I can cover more stuff, but let me know if y'all want a fic! This is unrealistic. In the 60s, child with autism were automatically institutionalized. That's actually so crazy and sad. For the purposes of this- that isn't the case.

W: insensitivity, swearing, not proof read

At first, he doesn't understand

Like if a sound or lights are overstimulating you, he will tell you to calm down

But once you start dating- he makes sure everyone understands

Music too loud? He's telling them to turn it down

Someone's humming bothering you? He's telling them to shut the fuck up

He does not play.

He does not want you to have a meltdown

The first time you had a meltdown, he was scared and stressed out of his mind

He did not know what to do and he felt so helpless

Like he'll try to hold you and talk to you and is pretty much just repeating: "It's okay," "Calm down," and "What's wrong?"

After the first time, you told him ways that he can help, so now he's prepared and actually calming when that happens

I totally see him as the listener type, he likes silence too, but he will listen to you talk about your hyperfixation forever

If he sees anything associated with your hyperfixation- he's stealing it

You're obsessed with a certain band and he sees a cassette? In his pocket

You're hyper fixated on an animal and he sees a little figurine? Snatched

You might scold him about it while fighting back a smile, but he won't stop. He knows it makes you happy

He'll stop using the r word and will throw hands with anyone he hears using it!

For some reason thinks that you can't have weed? Like he thinks that it will fuck with your brain extra? Idk don't ask me

He likes staring at you, he thinks you're beautiful after all, but I don't see him as a big fan of eye contact either. So, he's totally chill if you can't do eye contact

Dallas isn't big on routines, but if you need a routine, he'll follow

You want to see him at specific times on specific days? Actually, he forgot 😬

Yeah... but he's sorry. Like really really sorry. He only messes up a few more times

If you ever live together, sometimes he's a bit annoyed that you won't sleep in with him, but he gets used to it

He gets so used to your routines without even realizing it

He picks up every little habit you have without noticing too😭

If you're a picky eater, he will be making fun of you, I'm sorry

He's still an asshole

This mf will eat ANYTHING, so he's a bit surprised by that very limited amount of things you'll eat

When Dallas is comfortable with someone, he's touchy

If you're not down with that, he's a bit taken back

He'll respect you when you tell him to stop ofc

But he will ask to touch you all the time

But he's to embarrassed to ask straight up, so he'll hover his hand over you will pretty much giving you puppy dog eyes

"🥺🫳"

Again, he does like quietness, so he's more than happy to just sit in silence with you if you're overstimulated

If someone ever complains about you stimming or fidgeting, he will get mad

He will take offense and he will tell this person off

Dallas thinks it's adorable when you stim when excited or happy

When you swim when you're stressed or anxious, it stresses him out tho

If the smell of smoke ever is overstimulating you when he's smoking, he'll feel so bad

At first, he wouldn't feel bad, and might even blow smoke into your face, but once he actually starts to understand autism and how you are, he feels bad

He'll put it out or go outside right away

an: I hate mosquitoes, but I love you guys!

Bonus: pictures I found on pintrest while trying to find stuff for the pics at top

Im scared

[asapjens]

FANGIRLING

PJO: perseus jackson x fangirl!reader

CATEGORY: flufff & kinda cringey

SYNOPSIS: percy and his girlfriend being fangirls

WARNINGS: mentions of taylor swift, twilight, one direction , fangirling, fandoms, annabeth and grover. soooo i pretty much wrote a percy jackson x me one shot.

WORD COUNT: 297

You, yes YOU, are dating the heartthrob Percy Jackson. And guess what? You're a total fangirl for all type of things girly. Like, you're the ultimate Swiftie, 1D superfan, rom-com enthusiast, and Twilight saga devotee. And you're not shy about it – you talk about it all. the. time.

At first, Percy was like, "Whoa, my girlfriend is like, really into this stuff." But you know what? He thinks it's the cutest thing ever.

Seeing you light up and gush about your fandoms? It's like watching a kid in a candy store. Percy can’t help but be charmed by your excitement, and honestly, who wouldn’t be?

So, here's the thing.

Percy starts getting into all the things you love. At first, it's just to bond with you, but soon enough, he's singing along to Taylor Swift songs, discussing Team Edward vs. Team Jacob (he's totally Team Edward, by the way), and obsessing over One Direction's reunion rumors. And get this – he starts gossiping about it with his demigod pals.

One day, Percy’s chatting with Annabeth, and Grover, and he's all like, "Guys, did you hear about Taylor's latest album announcement? I totally can’t wait!"

And they're like, "Dude, you sound just like y/n." And Percy’s all, "Heck yeah, I do. Isn’t she the coolest?" His friends are low-key shook, but you know what? Percy couldn’t care less. He's head over heels for you and your hyper fixations.

And the best part? You and Percy are now the ultimate power couple. You chat, laugh, and fangirl/fanboy together, and honestly, it’s the kind of relationship goals that make even Aphrodite jealous. You and Percy – the hero and the fangirl – taking on the world.

So yeah, that's how Percy became the ultimate fangirl boyfriend. Who knew demigods could be so into mainstream stuff, right? But hey, love knows no bounds, not even when it comes to fangirling.

[quiteros]

peeping on the caleb x non mc reader post 👀 instead of him going all ape-shit though to harm the reader, imagine him just losing it when you distance yourself from him. think abt it, he's a pretty cool and handsome guy, and you harbor a crush on him until you see him being all lovey-dovey with his sister. it's like those posts on reddit where someone breaks it off with their bf after seeing their sister in a weird, compromising position. in this case, the worst part abt it is that mc is totally oblivious. it's like a story you tell to your friends, one day you're having a crush on the aviation student, the other he's just another cringy memory of some guy lusting over his step-sister. imagine reader being mc's friend too LORDDD just so many ideas r running through my head rn

Oh dear it’d be awful if you were also friends with Mc and she’d come running home all sad wondering why her friend has suddenly distanced from her. Caleb having to comfort her saying it’s not personal, you must just be having an off day, knowing full well it’s entirely his fault.

A bit of me wants to say the reader would be wracked with guilt, and would try to tell Mc, but its so hard to get her alone. Those two are attached by the ribs. And with Caleb on so high alert when you come around, constantly hyper aware that you know, you know, you’re never even getting anywhere near Mc.

I feel like eventually it’d become something tiring for the both of you, and someone is going to give. Either you who just leaves and says whatever happens happens, or Caleb who finally corners you and acknowledges the thing he’s been ignoring this whole time.

If it’s you that decides it’s not worth the energy, he really does become an inside joke amongst your friends. You don’t dare mention his name, but there’s a bit of satisfaction in knowing everyone would judge him, even if they don’t know it’s the beloved Caleb right now. If Caleb catches wind of this though, he wouldn’t care that he’s just a nameless freak in your stories, you say too much, he can’t have that.

If it’s Caleb that gives in first, it’s something you don’t even see coming. He’d act like nothing ever happened at first. A part of him knowing if he acknowledges you, he acknowledges himself. The gross part of himself. But he can see it in your eyes. When you walk past and pretend to not see him, there’s flicker of disgust pointed his way. Caleb fixates on you, on your judgement of him. He can’t laugh his way out of his guilt anymore, and you’ve become some weird voice of justice in his head, so he’s got you, alone, either begging or threatening— oh how did I end up here again— for you to assure him that he isn’t so bad.

Truth is even if you told Mc, CalebMc are freak4freak bro it wouldn’t mean shit 😭 You probably helping Caleb out a bit if anything…

[xiaotuzu]

am I..a bkdk shipper? Yes. Now here’s some headcanons cuz fuck the hyper fixation is crazy right now.

BKDK HEADCANONS

Izuku definitely steals the blanket while Katsuki hogs the bed.

Katsuki probably worked in a barber shop (because he was def the type to be like “not my money but my parents’ money”, so he made some of his own) OR learned how to do a bit of hair from Best Jeanist— Izuku’s hair grows really fast, so Katsuki will always be the one to trim it and make up an excuse like “You seriously gonna pay that much money for a fucking trim?”

Their typical dates isn’t everyone’s ‘typical dates’— they totally prefer extreme sports or like physical activities as dates.

Izuku sleeps late but wakes up early and can survive with only 3-4hrs of sleep. Katsuki sleeps early but doesn’t wake up as early because he needs exactly 8hrs to even 10hrs of sleep.

Izuku can’t style himself FOR SHIT. So Katsuki’s always picking clothes out for him.

They can both cook and either take turns cooking for each other or cook together. Katsuki would make Izuku cut the vegetables while he seasons the meat.

Izuku is amazing at baking and Katsuki is lowkey a sweet tooth.

Katsuki has like amplified and enhanced taste buds (LITERALLY CANON IM PRE SURE) and can literally taste when there’s something missing. Izuku’s cooking can sometimes come out bland but he always makes sure Katsuki is taste testing.

Katsuki’s high spice tolerance is slowly rubbing off on Izuku to the point that he’s the only one that can keep up with Katsuki. He even catches himself lowkey craving something spicy (honestly so real cuz like me too).

Katsuki is a neat freak which means his quite minimalistic but the his decor is exquisite. Izuku is a chaotic neat freak which means his got so many stuff (AM merch…) but they’re all properly organised and cleaned.

LITERALLY KATSUKI’S PARENTS DYNAMIC.

They can’t flirt for shit— yes I’m all for Izuku’s sassiness but I just know he can’t with Katsuki. And vice versa. So their flirting consists of eye contacts and awkward laughs/smiles. (“OMG HE MADE EYE CONTACT WITH ME FOR 5 SECONDS. DOES THAT MEAN HE’S ASKING ME OUT?!”— Izuku, probably) (“He smiled at me. Fuck, what do I do?!”— Katsuki, probably)

Izuku’s a freak, I just know. Not like freak~, as in FREEAAK. He def read some Y/N x reader fanfics…and Katsuki lowkey indulged in some ship fanfics too. Izuku definitely wrote some and Katsuki may or may not have read them without knowing (I READ A FIC ABOUT THIS BEFORE).

Katsuki has a 10 step skincare routine (despite having amazing skin genes) whereas Izuku just splashes his face with cold water and calls it a day.

Spa night in Katsuki’s room surely (the girls definitely included obviously).

Katsuki is so act of service and gifts and Izuku is so words of affirmation and physical touch. Both are quality time.

Hardcore gossipers. Both so nosy as fuck honestly (def gossips about the Todoroki Fam Drama 😭)

Katsuki texts with long paragraphs and Izuku sends individual texts.

Izuku is an avid emoticon user and Katsuki uses emojis.

Izuku’s an android user and Katsuki’s an apple user.

…And I think that’s it! (for now…) I definitely have more stored up in my brain but it hasn’t seeped into yet.

[yourlocalasexuwhale288]

I just watched Hannibal for the first time and I have major feelings about it.

Like first of all, I went into this with the knowledge that Hannigram was a big ship. Like Destiel or Wolfstar levels of widely accepted. I didn’t realize how ACTUALLY canon this was. I was totally prepared for subtle scenes that hinted at romance. This show is a murder rom-com.

Hannibal loved Will, and he showed that the only way he knew how. And Will loved Hannibal, and he hated that he loved Hannibal. I love the dynamic of their love. It’s fascinating to watch.

Probably an unpopular opinion, but I don’t like Abigail. I feel like having her live was unnecessary and kind of ruined a lot for me. I feel that her plot points were minor and other things could fill her parts in the story. I found her largely unnecessary and I didn’t enjoy her character.

I do enjoy Margot and Alana. I found Alana vaguely annoying in earlier episodes, but loved her character arc towards the end. I do think that there’s a lot of hypocrisy about Hannibal and her relationship with Margot, especially because she knows that Margot killed Mason and was very manipulative of Will.

Overall, I loved this series. I honestly can’t believe it took me this long to watch it, but I am so pleased that I did. I’m now hyper fixated on Hannigram, and have read at least 500 of the fanfics on archiveofourown so far. 1000% recommend, and if you want a list of really good fanfics that made me bookmark them, let me know, cuz I have 31 book marked right now that are EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD

[irisinluv]

Ok so here’s the sitch. I binged chapters 1-15 of love and deep-space play throughs on YouTube, then realized I was invested, missing tons by not having the myths (?) and dates and cards and whatever else, so I am now playing the game for myself so I can have every ounce of lore and properly become hyper-fixated on this game.

Wasn’t sure if this should go here or my side blog but Caleb exists so it stays here.

Here’s what I’ve decided/my thoughts on everyone so far���.

Caleb: I would fold in two seconds for that man. Scary soft dom vibes. Like I’d run away and he’d be like “☺️ it’s ok, it’s my fault for not making the place more secure, let’s make sure you’re not hurt and then I’ll cook you a meal and you’ve gonna sit right there on the couch and be comfy!🥰” and the would get that serious look and say softly, “But also- let’s not try that again? Ok?” And then if I tried to get up… def couldn’t. Idk why we were in a chair with wrist restraints when we were being interrogated. Mans whole Evol is gravity. His superpower is legit invisible bondage. Unless I’m missing something here. But. Man…. Toss me around like a rag doll… also not him in game asking mc if he should collar her.

Sylus: sugar daddy brat tamer. Lets you run around the n109 zone getting into trouble, but he’s always watching and he runs the place so when you get yourself in a tight spot he gets to swoop in and be like “mmmm, had enough of that yet kitten?” Oh and he’d totally be the clicker type. Like the counter where every time you click it the number goes up? Would just let you do your thing, you’d think you’re being sneaky, and then he’d show up at the end of the day like “42…. Damn. Hope you don’t have plans tomorrow” But then when you’re good….. mmm. Yea that man matches energy. You saw him give mc his card in game. That man just wants to spoil you rotten. I just know it. Even the twins are like “yo- that man’s feral for you, just chill here and ignore the crime stuff and let him make you his spoiled princess, ok?”

Rafayel: The whiney act he has is not my personal cuppa tea, but I feel like I need to give this man a chance when I get more into the game and lore. Cuz we all know that he’s not this aloof whiney ditz. He’s always got everything planned, keeps so many secrets, always gets us to go where he wants, do what he wants…. And then adds the whiney shit as a manipulation tactic. Still am confused that he’s a mermaid, and like, a god? And has a magic girl bond with mc? This is honestly one of the biggest reasons I’m playing the game for myself and really diving into everything instead of just watching play throughs of the main story. But. Yea, manipulative whiney rich boy who’s not actually whiney. Also so totally see this man laying down, arms wrapped around your waist as he uses your stomach as a pillow. Where he can look up as you with puppy dog eyes if you protest…. But also you really can’t move cuz his body is pinning your legs and his arms are not budging.

Zayne: Daddy? Sorry…. Sir? Sorry…. Doctor ? 🥴 no but fr, I want to take him to a cat cafe. I want to find a scruffy little alley cat that hates everyone except Zayne and casually will climb on his shoulders. Zayne will be there with his rbf as someone is talking to him, not showing any reaction and acting like you’re the weird one for being shocked as a cat suddenly appears on his shoulder. We will raise a cat together if it’s the last thing I do. I LOVE how cold presenting but deeply loving this man is. Did you see him when his rival tried to take us to dinner? Lord he was so icy smooth with it too, like yes sir turn down the peasants, doctors orders said I need more vitamin D…. Also I want that man to be a father. I want his babies. I want him to make them cute little snow animals and help me meal prep healthy school lunches (he would totally cut the sandwiches into little dinosaurs and make those themed lunches. Doesn’t care if he’s busy, will always be willing to spend the extra half hour making cucumber stars.)

Xavier: I won’t lie to yall I don’t like this man very much. I don’t know. He’s giving “I’m gonna pine from a distance cuz I don’t wanna hurt you” vibes. OMFG EDWARD CULLEN. XAVIER IS EDWARD CULLEN! yea. That’s my headcannon now “I can’t tell you why I’m so mysterious…. It’s safer if you don’t know…” *sparkles in the light* like sorry man has a light Evol, he literally does. And there’s a flower field scene I just did as one of his bonus thingies….. holy shit this fandoms gonna hate me for this but that’s it. They’re the same. I will continue seeking out things that validate this. Confirmation bias hates to see me coming.

Anyways. Love yall. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. Have to wait for the daily stuff to refresh cuz I need to be level 21 to start chapter 3, and I’ve done everything I can to earn xp already. I’m level 20, it’s so close it hurts. I just want to speed run the main storyline till I have Caleb around, is that too much to ask?

[princessbrunette]

omg I love kitty!reader sm!!! she’s a lil weirdo just like me!! she’s probably v into witchy stuff and learning about the occult and magic! and jj is always letting her talk his ear off about whatever you’re hyper fixating on at the moment. I can totally see her randomly asking him super seriously if he’d ever taste her blood because she read in some spell book that it would bind them together forever and he’s just looking at her like “Do we wanna go to a graveyard to really seal the deal orrrr” because let’s be honest, that fact that you’re into strange stuff like him turns him on sooooo much it’s kinda funny

₊⊹ ᥫ᭡🐈‍⬛ ⁀➴

thinking about kitty!reader talking jj into making blood vial necklaces for eachother <3

it turns him on how devoted you are to him to wanna do something like that, so he agrees without much thought. only the next day you’re showing up at his place with a whole kit, little needles and syringes with empty vials tied to ribbons that you’d purchased all for this marvellous event. you’re giddy, and he’s increasingly nervous.

“and— and it’s even better ‘cos tonight’s a full moon.” you beam at him as you clean his arm, preparing to take some of his blood.

“okay so… am i like, gonna turn into a werewolf or somethin’?” he teases making you giggle.

you take his blood, pulling it into the syringe and he’s a total baby about it, yelping and wincing, rambling in order to keep himself cool. “y’know i watched this movie once about this crazy scientist who steals this guys blood and he like — he makes evil clones of him. i lowkey feel like you could do somethin’ like that, y’know. like — an army of evil boyfriends— i dunno—”

“jayj stop moving!”

“my bad.”

it comes the time to take your blood and he pretends he’s not feeling a little squeamish at this point, letting you lay against him as he slowly pulls the syringe up, filling it with dark red blood. you were never good at this kind of thing, getting weak and lightheaded, eyes fluttering as you drop more weight onto him. he blinks, craning his head to look at you.

“uh, hello— yoohoo— kittycat… this was your idea, rise and shine.” you smile weakly at the slight panic in his voice.

“m’just resting. feel a little weak.”

“okay, that’s normal right? yeah that’s — that’s like regular. this is a super normal thing to do.”

when he’s done he makes kissy noises, the same you would to a kitten to attract its attention and you open your eyes, sitting up and stretching your back a little. “mm, thanks jayj.”

“uh, yeah.”

you chat as he watches you pour the blood into the vials, so casually that he can’t help but feel in awe of you.

“now you have a piece of me forever.” you grin, canines glistening in the dim lamp light.

“y’know some couples just get matching tattoos but uh— this works too.”

₊⊹ ᥫ᭡🐈‍⬛ ⁀➴

[cuntyhunty22]

•she rides•

Pairing : Clint x reader

Description : reader goes out for a night out, ends up having the "ride" of her life.

Tags : language, smut, sexual content , dry humping , knife play, p in v , creampie, age gap, daddy kink. (If I forgot anything plz tell me)

•

The 80s in Oakland was a time. You just moved over here in pursuit of a different life than a small town full of judgmental people. unfortunately it's just as bad here with the nazis and whatever other group that pops out of the woodwork. You aren't too sure where you fit though, like a cross between a hippie and a punk . you do frequent the local punk bar though. They have taken you in and have been so welcoming.

They have been dealing with a problem and they thought that was solved but recently things are happening. people Getting mugged leaving at night, the bar getting broke into, and last night a new crew showed up again. You debated on going tonight but your friend Tina said there was a meeting and they contacted a dude from the past who handles people. Guess she met him at the diner not too long ago. He was supposed to be retired but somehow they talked him into this. So you felt a bit at ease going.

•

You showed up, big platform boots, black leather skirt, cheetah print top. Big poofy hair. Tina is standing outside waiting for you. Hey you made it, didn't scare ya off yet. "Nope. There's a reason I fit here. Never back down from a fight." Atta girrllllll. Tina chuckles. Let's get you a drink. "Sounds great." It's pretty chill so far, band just playing people chit chatting amongst themselves. You stand there listening to Tina talk to the others just people watching when you notice a man walk in. obviously this is not his scene. Slicked back curly dark hair with pops of grey, flannel on and a leather jacket. Slightly Older man, but very very handsome.

Your attention is now fully on him. Hyper-fixated really. You tell Tina you were gonna go step outside for a smoke. She tells you to be careful and you flash her the dagger strapped to the garter under your skirt and you swear the man at the door was watching you. which honestly is exactly what you hoped for. He's still standing there by the entrance, the place is filling up to where it's people on people making you accidentally brush up against him as you go to step outside. "Sorry about that." You flash him a smile. All good. He looks you up and down.

You walk away from the building just a few steps then you had an idea.. he was now standing right outside the entrance door talking with some of the others..

"hey you got a light? Must of lost mine." The man walks over to you. Yeah sure here ya go. You put the cigarette to your lips and he lights it for you. His fingers accidentally brush your cheek. something about someone lighting your cigs for you has always been so intimate in a way. You kinda figured he was just gonna hand you the lighter but he didn't. I'm Clint

. "Hey nice to meet you." Clint.. Clint.. why is that name familiar. You were thinking and then you realized that's the mob enforcer.. the man Tina said that's handled a bunch of peopleHere in Oakland. the guy people hire when they need a problem solved.. you should be scared but you are the total opposite.

So Clint.. what brings you here? Doesn't necessarily seem like your scene."

I go where things take me, places I need to be.

"Ahh I see.. and why do you have to be here."

I guess my job tonight was to give a beautiful girl a light. He smirks at you.

"I see what you did there and it was clever I'll give you that."

He chuckles

Clever was brushing up against me in that tiny skirt sweetheart.

You smirk at him. "I have no clue what you are talking about Clint."

Clint moves closer to you his breath on your ear. The smell of alcohol, leather, cigarettes and cologne (pretty much sex) it's intoxicating.

I think you do, his hand trails to the small of your back pulling you closer to him. The touch alone sends shivers through your body and an ache between your thighs is growing. Life's been boring since you moved out here and you're craving some danger and excitement.

"Maybe take me somewhere and we can talk about whatever it is you think I did. You're the guy that handles things right? Handle me then Clint." Clint's eyes darkened looking at you.

Follow me.

•

You follow Clint to his car, he opens the door for you and you hop in. This man could kill you but that's the very least of what's on your mind. He turns on the car and drives to a secluded parking lot putting the car in park.

You look over to Clint as he lights up a cigarette. the strong features of his face, the light grey patch in his beard. The dim scars on his face. His big hands holding the cigarette and your minds trails off to what his hands would look like elsewhere.

Clint looks over to you no words just pulling you by your hips to the drivers seat.

Stratal me. You wanna brush up on me, come be all up on me then.

Clint looks at you as you do as your told. Your skirt riding up slightly to your hips. as you settle on to his lap the touch of his jeans to your mound that's hidden beneath sheer tights. You can feel him. How he's hard already and how he twitches when you move. You couldn't help yourself of the feeling of him beneath you. You start moving your hips back and forth dry humping him. The friction ignites a heat between you two. Clint uses his hand that doesn't have the cigarette in it to trail up your waist sliding under your shirt cupping your breast the touch making you arch back girding more on him feeling him stiffen even more in his jeans.

You lean slightly back and take your top off exposing your breasts, Clint pulls you closer kissing down your neck before taking your nipple into his mouth sucking on it then biting it slightly making you moan more than you anticipated.

"Fuck that feels good." You grind yourself more into Clint, feeling the pressure of his hard cock through his jeans on to you.

Damn pretty girl you rubbing on me so hard hmm you want this bad don't you.

He looks at you, taking another puff of his cigarette as you shamelessly continue grinding on him. the pressure on your clit but it's not enough you needed more.

Clint lifts you slightly, pushing up your skirt hand running up your thigh finding your dagger. Clint grabs the dagger tracing it lighty down your leg, the cold touch of the metal blade and the fact he could easily kill you with it has made you a whole different type of aroused.

"Fuck that's hot."

Clint trails the dagger back up your leg then across your pelvic area making you whimper. he stops there with the dagger he cuts a hole in your tights between your thighs.

Mhmmm needed these out of my way.

Clint rips the hole in the tights wide open reaching your panties. Grazing the outside he could feel how he's made you feel.

Sweet girl these are soaked...

he rubs the outside gently just applying enough pressure . you let out a whimper. "Clint" you moan. Clint moves your panties to the side using his ring finger he trails up and down in your wetness feeling exactly how he is making you feel. Clint grunts.

You wanted this didn't you ..

he's rubbing circles on your clit, eyes locked as he talks to you and puffs on his cigarette.

Sweet girl I'm old enough to be your daddy.. is that what you like huh ?

Clint inserts his ring finger prepping you for what he wants to do next.

"Yes ahh fuck. I do like that. Don't stop please." you're so tight. My cock is gonna stretch you out, but that's what you want isn't it.

Mhmmm it is...please.." Clint inserts another finger. She's clenchin on me baby, she wants to cum but not yet.

Clint unzips his jeans pulling out his rock hard cock. Clint takes himself into his fist pumping it.

Look at this sweetheart, look how hard you've made this old man, I wanted to rip that tight little skirt off of you as soon as I seen you.

Clint pulls his jeans down a bit making room for you.

Mhmmm you like rubbin on me so much.. sit on it. All of it.

You pull your self up, grabbing Clint's member rubbing it over your clit making you gush slightly on him.

Mhmm Nuh uh sweet girl what did I say huh? I said sit on it.

Clint plops you down making you taking all of him in at once

" oh my- mhmm fuck" Fuck I was right so fucking tight. You slowly start riding him, bouncing slightly up and down setting up a rhythm.

Yeah that's it baby, keep doing that. Good girl..

Clint puts his free hand on your hip guiding you up and down. It feels so good you can't even form sentences besides little moans.

Lean back so I can look at ya, but don't stop ridin me.

You do as your told and somehow Clint sinks deeper into your pussy.

God you're fucking beautiful taking that big cock.

"Am I daddy.? You like watching me ride you."

You are.. and fuck yeah I Do would be crazy if I didn't. Lean down here.

You lean forward touching Clint's face tracing the scars. Clint lips crash into yours after everything so far this was the first kiss he's laid on your lips. From there things escalate even more, his lips were a shock to your system, the taste of his lips the lingering taste of the cigarette, his tongue now invading your mouth swirling around with yours . pulling you in. messy needy kisses leading to clint sucking on your bottom lip. You are grinding up and down , your ass bouncing taking every inch of him inside you.

Yes sweet girl keep doing that... feels good don't it..

"yesss- ah so good"

keep going don't stop until I say.. Clint reaches over grabbing another cigarette lighting it, he then wraps his arm around your waist pinning you to his body.

Clint grunts. I bet those punk boys don't fill you like I do .. his lips on your ear. Do they sweet girl.? Do they fill that tight little pussy like I do?

"No.. no they don't.." you manage to form a sentence.

Clint takes a puff of his cigarette as he starts pushing his hips up pushing his cock even deeper making you stop for a moment.

What baby is it too much? You bit off more than you can chew? His voice raspy in your ear sending chills down your body..

"no"

no what?

"I need.. ah-god damn it."

Clint pushing up again.

If you need it so damn bad baby fucking ride me till you cum, you wanna cum don't you? Wanna cum on a real man's cock.?

"Yes."

You wanted me sweet girl.. now fucking take me.

You rotate your hips right where you need feeling every inch of his cock, reaching down to rub your clit.

Mhmm nope baby Clint says in your ear. Let me do that, cigarette still in one hand the other hand down on your bud circling it

Yes.. yes sweet girl you got it.. she's clinching.. mhmmm fuck yes..

"I'm s'close..Clint."

Yes sweet girl scream my name, I wanna hear it..

you lean back and that arch of your body sending Clint deeper sends you over the edge..

"my god yes Clint I'm coming, ahh-"

yes my sweet girl let it go I got you.. Clint grunts feeling accomplished you rode him to your climax.

Your body collapses on to him, Clint kisses your neck and you feel him still hard inside of you.

"Now let me take care of you."

Clint looks at you.

"How do you want it. Let me give you exactly what you want."

Clint throws the cigarette out the window his hands on both sides of your hips now holding you to where you can't move. he lifts his hips slamming into you over and over and over no release taking what he needs as he let you do. This was ruthless. Thrust after thrust after thrust. Your legs shaking. Body limp still strattling him. letting him just hold you there. Letting him use your body.

Clint growls. Fuck so good. I'm close sweet girl.

Your nails digging into his arms through his flannel.

Yes- uh- fuck it I'm cummin In you pussy too good too tight to pull out.

Clint thrusts a few more times and he fills you up with his seed. He lets out a big breath and throws his head back in relief.

So uh.. what's your plans for the rest of the night.? "Whatever you want my plans to be."

Okay. Back to my place then.

[eardefenders]

Sherlock & Co - Mailbag Episode 1 Transcript

00:00-00:30 Intro Music

*Typing Sounds*

0:36 Sherlock: What are you doing?

0:37 John: I’m collating the questions from the fans. Ah-well, d’you know actually they might not be fans. They might just. *pause* I don’t, I don’t know, listen, but, uh, ah, you know not actually, you know-

0:48 Sherlock: -Like you?

0:49 John: What?

0:49 Sherlock: They might not actually like you.

0:51 John: Us. The show. Anything. What do you mean ‘not like me’? Why would they not like me?

0:57 Sherlock: Well…you can come on a little strong…sometimes, I suppose.

1:02 John: In what way?

1:03 Sherlock (voice slightly high): You’re just, rather, keen. (voice normal, reassuring even) Nothing wrong with that of course.

1:07 John (sarcastically): Oh, great, thanks.

1:09 Sherlock: That’s something people add after making a crude observation on another’s character.

1:14 John (warily): What is?

1:14 Sherlock: “Nothing wrong with that of course.”

1:17 John: So you just added it because you thought-

1:19 Sherlock: It would soften the blow.

1:20 John (sarcastic): Lovely. Very kind.

1:23 Sherlock (clearly missing the sarcasm): Quite alright.

1:24 John: Okaaay, we got some Q’s from the L’s, and now its time for us to provide the A’s. That’s, uh, that’s questions from the listeners and for us to provide the answers.

1:36 Sherlock: Yes, I cracked the code, Watson.

1:39 John: Right! So! Beau from California wants to know where they should go when they visit London.

1:44 Sherlock: Er, sorry, uh, I thought this was about crime?

1:47 John: Whaddya mean?

1:48 Sherlock: I thought there would be questions regarding criminal activity?

1:52 John (lightly sarcastic): Oh, right yeah, sorry. Um, there is one here from ‘PsychoMurderer69’ who wants to know if he should stab his next-door neighbor.

1:58 Sherlock (seriously): What’s the length of the blade he’d have access to?

2:00 John: Jesus Christ.

2:00 Sherlock: Does the neighbor show signs of possessing any self-defense skillsets?

2:04 John (interjecting over Sherlock): Alright, no, where should Beau visit in London, please?

2:09 Sherlock: Um, uh, St. Dunstan in the East. Little Venice. Spitalfields. Brick Lane. The Vaults! Neal’s Yard is rather charming as well, I suppose…pleasing colors on display.

2:20 John: Right, great. Colors. See, that wasn’t difficult, was it?

2:23 Sherlock: South Kensington Ice Rink.

2:25 John: Yeah, lovely. I- Sorry, where are you going?

2:26 *Sound of door opening.*

2:27 Sherlock: I just said.

2:27 *Audio Cut - Vaguely outside sounds.*

2:28 John (sounding like he’s struggling to balance): Heeey, folks its, woah, woah, Ja-ah,*sound of skate blades scraping deeply in ice* Jesus, aw, bloody hell, ahahaaah Christ. *sounds of the mic rubbing as he presumably falls down, a sharp intake of pained breath* Ahh.

2:35 Sherlock (sounding at ease): Get up, Watson.

2:36 John: Ah, oh yeah, thanks for the advice. Uh, um, hey folks-*under his breath*ah, God- Sherlock, can get *sounding unsteady on his feet* easily distracted when he’s not w-w-what’d’you call it. Uh. Totally onboard with something. So he wanted to *sounding unsteady again* go ice-ce skating. Uhum *clears throat*, uh there’s a-a rink. Temporary rink open in South Kensington right now so we’re skating- hey-oh, ooo-getting up some speed now. Oh here we go. Ha ha hah! God is this what Canadians feel like? Oy oy! *laughs proudly*

3:10 Sherlock: Very good, Watson. You’ve got the hang of it.

3:11 John: Hahah, yeah well I wouldn’t go that far, but I’m not smashing my ribs into the ice, uh, for the time being. So-woah! Shit!- *clears throat* Right! Another question!

3:21 Sherlock: Go for it.

3:22 John: “What are your favorite hobbies?”

3:24 Sherlock: *with relish* CRIME. Deductions. Observations! Intricate studies that focus my mind. Feeding my hyper fixations, which often stem from crime and the desire to understand it.

3:37 John: …Riiiight. Yeah, I think the listener Sherlo8 in Poland, uh, I think they meant more like, um, you know, I don’t know. Golf?

3:48 Sherlock: Golf? *chuckles* I don’t golf. I live in Baker Street.

3:52 John: No, I-I know, but, um. *deep breath* Right, okay. My hobby is-

3:58 Sherlock (interjects): Podcasting.

3:59 John: Well, no. Uh, that’s my job.

4:00 Sherlock (skeptically): Is it now?

4:01 John: My hobbies. Uh…so I like to play football. I like films and tv. Ummm I’m very partial to a board game. Uhhhh… Oh! Ok! So here’s a confession. I have the flight tracker app. I’m not saying I’m a, a plane spotter, but um… I like to, yeah, just check in with that. Y’know? See what’s overhead? Where it’s come from, where it’s going. Picture the kinda people that uh. *sigh* Oh I don’t know, going from swha-Rome to Mexico City, y’know? Th-th-the weary business men and women tucking into their inflight meals, families that have created a whole crate of memories that they’re going to talk about for decades.

4:42 John (dramatically): The lovesick Italian man flying out to see his Mexican sweetheart. His heart bursting with excitement and fear that the stewards who keep complaining about some bloke in Row G, c-

4:49 Sherlock (interjects): Trains.

4:50 John: Hm?

4:51 Sherlock: Trains. I like trains. And, dinosaurs.

4:56 John: Ok. Great! Well, haha! That’s wonderful! We did it, another answer to another question. See, I told you it’s bloody easy- *sound of an ice blade scraping the ice too hard/wrong, a loud hard thump, the mic is rubbing terribly against clothing, sound is muffled* Oh, God!

5:07 *Audio Cut-Vaguely café sounds*

5:09 John (pained): Ahhh *sucks in air through his teeth* Oh that stings. *sounds like he’s holding his face*

5:15 Sherlock: Yep, they’re loaning us their frozen peas.

5:18 John: Oh what, they’ve got frozen peas in this place? Why aren’t they fresh, meals are twenty quid?

5:21 Sherlock: Uh, do you want the frozen peas or not?

5:23 John: Yeah! Yes, please, give’em here. *sound of a bag of frozen peas being shuffled around, John’s voice is muffled* Oh, yeah. Oh hoho, that’s the stuff, baby. Oh yeah. Ahhhhhhhhh. 5:39 Sherlock: Just to confirm,

5:40 John: Uh hunh?

5:40 Sherlock: they are paying for this? People are…paying for this audio?

5:46 John: Yeah, mate. Oh! Ah God! Ooo! Ouchie, ouchie, ouchie, ouchie…

5:49 Sherlock: Understood. Well, people can be rather odd, can’t they? Nothing wrong with that of course.

5:55 John: Uh, d’you mind? I see- I actually know what you’re doing with that ‘nothing wrong with that’ lark. So, right! Next question, ‘How did Archie get his name?’ says May Van der Hayden in New Zealand. Ah, well mate, I didn’t have much say in the matter. *clicks tongue* Um, I bought him as a birthday present for…uhhhh. M-my ex-girlfriend. Um, e-e-ex…yeah, y’know she was. She was-she was the bi- big one. The one I l-lived with and planned t’m-my life. Around. Sort of thing. Um. *clicks tongue* B-bought him for her, she chose Archie. Um. I-I don’t know why? Ha. And then she chose my friend who had a Range Rover Sport. So, yeah, she left me and the dog. *clicks tongue* And I left the dog to help the Ukrainians. Now I’m back. *clicks tongue* Got a dog and a master detective. Uh, lucky me. *awkward chuckle*

6:55 Sherlock: I feel your answers should be more concise.

6:58 John: Yep, thank you for that input. May also asks, Sherlock, seeing as you have handled cases for other countries, have you ever handled any in New Zealand?

7:07 Sherlock: Yes.

7:08 John: Oh! Lip, lip. Now numb. Ah, ah. Can you expand on that please?

7:13 Sherlock: Yes, but you’d have to stop recording or redact it from the podcast.

7:17 John: Aw, what’d be the point of that?

7:19 *Audio Cut- Sounds like they’re on the tube now*

7:23 John: Question here from Chloe Davies in Canada. Hi, Chloe. Sherlock, your hugging machine, is it based on that of Temple Grandin?

7:31 Sherlock: Er, she sent me some early designs, yes. I needed to tweak its pressure loads to clench my shoulder blades.

7:40 John: That’s the way you like it, is it? Hugwise?

7:43 Sherlock: Yes. Any sensation below the diaphragm causes me to stress.

7:47 John: Good to know. Uh, Nick Licher or, er, Licker. Uh…let’s go with Nick Licher. He asks, “Why did Sherlock need your shoelaces?” Yeah, why did you need my shoelaces?

7:58 Sherlock: I was conducting a thorough cleansing of our garments following the proximity to duck poo we had undergone that day in the park. *sucks in air sharply* The shoes contain the most potentially harmful pathogens. I removed the shoelaces for deep cleaning.

8:11 John: Okay.

8:12 Sherlock: Okay? Is that it? For potentially saving you untold hours and days on the toilet?

8: 19 John: How so?

8:20 Sherlock: E.coli, Watson.

8:22 John: Yeah, but on my shoelaces? Mate, I wasn’t going to chew on them. Right, Adrien Kaiser from Minnesota. “John, if you miss an upload should we just assume you and Sherlock have been arrested or are dead?”

8:32 Sherlock: Yes. As assumptions go, those options would be some of the likeliest. Wouldn’t you agree Watson?

8:39 John: No.

8:40 Sherlock: Why not?

8:40 John: Well, I don’t know. Maybe my laptop breaks, maybe we don’t get an adventure that week, I’m ill, your ill, a long list of things that aren’t dead or arrested, Sherlock.

8:50 Sherlock: It was Adrien that said it, not me.

8:52 John: *heavy sigh* Arlo asks, as a Shakespeare fan-him, not me- he asks what my favorite play by him was. Uhhh, um, I love Romeo and Juliet. Bit of um, a sucker for romance, me. *awkward chuckle* Hamlet’s too long, should’ve streamlined that a little. I’m uh going to go Romeo and Juliet. Or Julius Ceasar. Good drama in that one, I think. Kind of can’t understand what they’re saying, but uh I hold my English teachers at school responsible for that one, I mean also why are we reading them? Yeah, they’re meant to be performed, come on. Uh, next question. Soma asks “what’s your favorite tv show?” Uh, I loved ‘Band of Brothers’. Um, but, of course, an ex soldier would say that wouldn’t he. Um, psh, yeah, ‘Band of Brothers’. Or, something light and millennial, like, um, I don’t know. Fraiser? Or, uh, Will and Grace?

9:46 John: Sherlock? Favorite tv show?

9:48 Sherlock: This is us.

9:48 John: Really? I never saw it.

9:49 Sherlock: No, Watson! This is us! Quick!

9:52 John: Oh, bollocks, Oh! The doors are closing! Ow!

9:53 *Audio cut-sounds of a tube station/outside*

9:54 John: Misha asks,

9:56 Sherlock: Mmhm?

9:57 John: “Do you have a sweet tooth?” Well, I can tell you, Misha, that yes, he bloody does! Sherlock?

10:02 Sherlock: Yes, I bloody do. *awkward chuckle, sharp intake of breath* Yet, my diet is highly unpredictable and more often then not tied to my mood

10:08 John: Yeah, I can vouch for that. One minute he’s slurping down some borscht on a whim. Next minute, he’s going ten straight days eating tomato penne pasta.

10:16 *sound of a building door opening*

10:19 *sound of the door closing, presumably they’re in the foyer of 221 Baker Street*

10:19 John: *sigh* Uhhh, just trying to find uh…

10:23 Sherlock: Yet more questions?

10:23 *sounds like they’re removing their coats*

10:25 John: Yep. Uh, ooo, questions, right, last one. Uh, “Doctor Watson, hope this question doesn’t make you uncomfortable. Do you use a cane for your leg injury? I use a cane myself due to joint pain from Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. In fact, one of the canes was hand painted by a family in Ukraine during the war.” Well aw! *delighted chuckle* Aw that’s nice. Um, no I don’t use a cane. Uh, I had some surgery, and I was very kindly along with a few others flown out to Florida for some rehabilitation and then back to the UK for some hydrotherapy courtesy of the Ministry of Defense. Uh. Then they sacked me. So, heh, booooo. *chuckles* So, no. I’m actually cane free. But, uh, I have had moments. Especially climbing these bloody stairs *sounds of him stepping heavily up stairs* where I’ve wanted something like that.

11:15 Sherlock: Finished?

11:16 John (slightly out of breath): Finished.

11:17 *sound of a door opening, presumably 221B’s*

11:17 John: Right, say ‘Bye, Listeners’.

11:19 Sherlock: ‘Bye, Listeners’. You know, you do have a rather silly gait. *pause* Walking style. *sound of a door closing* The cane may have been needed. You do look weird when you stroll. Nothing wrong with that of course.

11:32 John (under his breath): For God’s sake.

11:33-12:03 *audio cut to end theme. It’s Mad Prodigy but a different part not used in the main show with a bit of piano.*

END

[melodrangea]

I'M BEGGING YOU PLS I NEED KID WITH A READER THAT'S LIKE THE TITULAR CHARACTER FROM KOMI CAN'T COMMUNICATE-- THEY COME OFF AS LIKE A KUUDERE, COOL AND COLLECTED-- BUT SECRETLY THEY'RE A DORK AND SOCIALLY ANXIOUS AND JUST HAVE A LOT OF POWER AND KNOW HOW TO USE IT!! Maybe they wear a cloak and mostly blacks and reds😈😈😈 And maybe instead of using a weapon, they have some unexplainable power source similar to witches that just makes them even /more/ mysterious and cool. Until they start talking to you about how the last of both the carolina parakeets and passenger pigeons died in the exact same cage 4 years apart💀 Maybe the reason they're so quiet is /because/ they're so awkward and weird🥺 They probably silently stare at him all wide eyed and freak him out until he realises that means they just think he's pretty and like looking at him🙏🙏🙏 Anyways sorry for rambling🥺🥺🥺

i have a bunch of asks i’ve still yet to answer (sorry my loves) but this sounded too intriguing and funny not to write right away

what i’m hearing is witch!reader that’s calm on the outside and quirky on the inside

and something about birds :)

so imma just roll with that real quick

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Kid x Witch!Kuudere! Reader

-now this totally makes sense

-because let’s be honest Kid is basically the exact same way

-cool and collected on the outside, but a total symmetry dork on the inside with a love for architecture

-you first notice Kid during sparring practice at the dwma

-assuming this is post-kishin and witches are more accepted, now you’re in the elite class with Mkf and the others

-you were assigned to face him, Patty and Liz

-you were nervous facing not only three on one, but one of the dwma’s top students

-Kid on the other hand noticed you for your witchy traits

-how the cloak you huddled yourself in flowed like a shroud of feathers, how soft your hair looked and the glittering jewelry you adorned yourself with

-you looked a little out of place but so did he and Kid respected your lack of care, how aloof you seemed to be to the whole scenario

-the spar ended in a close match with Kid winning but that impressed him even more at how close you got

-Kid was used to wiping the floor with every student that crossed his path, he admired how well you held up

-he liked a challenge

-you two danced around each other for a long time, pretending to be calm and calculated until one day the two of you were hanging out, walking down the street towards a cafe you’d heard of

-when Kid spotted a very symmetrical looking pigeon…

-and the facade was all over for the two of you

-Kid immediately went into fanboy mode, praising the bird for its unique coloring and symmetrical feathers

-and you about passenger pigeons and the odd coincidences revolving around the end of the species

it was an interesting time at the cafe, managing to both surprise the other about their hidden hyper fixations

but it honestly just gave the two of you more to talk about

there was the obvious initial embarrassment about your cover being blown but Kid found your wide array of knowledge very attractive

especially since your witchy persona is bird based

and Kid’s hyper-fixation made sense as a grim reaper he had to keep order, and what’s more orderly than symmetry?

and now that the metaphorical veil had been lifted it gave you both the confidence to admit your feelings, knowing that you both finally understood each other

were you the hottest and oddest couple ever? probably.

but did either of you give a single shit? absolutely not

and now Kid can spoil you with shiny objects while you use your magic to make things symmetrical :)

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man if i had a dollar for every time i said hyperfixation

but if wishes were wings my grammar skills would fly so high they’d burn in the sun

and that’s a wrap my lovelies <3

i hope i did your request justice anon!!

-melodrangea <3

[allastoredeer]

Would you have any bottom Alastor fanfics to suggest? Ever since I came across your blog I’ve been hyper fixated on that idea but I can’t seem to find any

Surely!

I only just realized I have a total of 15 Hazbin fics bookmarked on AO3 😅 but I have a lot in my "Marked for Later" tab, and I'm sure I'll come across more bottom!Alastor fics there when I get around to going through it.

Of course, look over the tags before reading these fics, some of them are more explicit than others.

Here are the ones I've read and enjoyed:

Unhealthy Attachments by Keelywolfe (RadioApple)

Lucifer never thought to ask before what Alastor got out of having sex with him. Probably won't regret asking, right?

Right?

(Post Season Finale)

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A Failure of Business Negotiation by Drowsy_Salamander (RadioStatic)

It began, as many things did for Alastor, out of curiosity. A tryst with Vox to decide whether sex was worth the hype, a neat and simple dynamic on Alastor's end. However, Vox clearly developed other ideas about what was going on and thus proceeded to utterly ruin everything between them by proposing a formal alliance.

... Alternatively: how Vox and Alastor became exes without ever dating

(NOTE: The smut is more alluded to than explicitly written, but I really enjoyed a deep dive into Alastor's brain and his thoughts surrounding sex. It was very enjoyable to read).

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601 by ChildishSadism (RadioStatic)

Humans aren't aware that the dark desires in their hearts give demons a clear path to earth. A soul in hell can be tasty but a pure soul from the human world was a delicacy that many demons fought for. Vox enjoyed indulging in this pleasure once in a while, it made his teeth feel sharper and his claws deathlier.

It was such a shame that maybe, he should have kept an eye around in case someone else was ready to steal his meal.

or Vox possesses a priest to try to harvest more souls and Alastor possesses a nun to steal his catch.

(REMINDER TO CHECK THE TAGS)

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Lucifer and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship by Keelywolfe (RadioApple)

(NOTE: This one is actually a series. I haven't finished it yet, but it has a lot of yummy bottom!Alastor content)

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Time to Dance by voland_xx (RadioStatic)

Building a time machine is never a good idea, especially when you’re in Hell.

Sir Pentious’s newest “invention” shocks the residents of Hazbin Hotel (+1) back into their human forms. Alastor and Vox navigate this new adjustment.

or, a demon gets voraciously, hungrily obsessed with a pretty man. What’s new.

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A Poison for Lust by MatcHoMetriC (Alestial - Alastor x Zestial)

Zestial & Alastor do some 'experimentation' on how the Vee's love potion actually works

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These are all the ones I have right now, but I'm sure I have a more squirreled away in my Marked for Later tab. If you're looking for more bottom!Alastor I definitely recommend looking through the bottom!Alastor tag! <- I actually just barely glanced through it and found one that looks very interesting, this is this one, if anyone is interested:

Devil's Threeway by Mixkarules18

All Alastor was trying to do was fetch Lucifer for Charlie. It was simple, nothing should have come from it.

However, the Overlord sees something that no one else was meant to and Lucifer decides to have a little fun with him.

Or alternatively:

Two Lucifer’s, one hole

(Tell me that doesn't sound like a fantastic read! I'll be sitting down to give it a looksie right after I post this LOL)

If anyone else has a bottom!Alastor fics they'd like to recommend, send them my way! I have a mighty need