#and then i proceed to never write them

[mattsdolll]

do you ever listen to a song and come up with like 5 fic ideas from seperate lyrics

[ronanlynchusurper]

i don’t think we talk enough about declan being equally as down bad and ‘all or nothing’ with romance as ronan is. like yes ronan said he would start wars and burn cities for adam’s true smile, begged god for adam after he first saw him and fortuitously had all his objects of worship were in one downtown block etc but ronan had known adam atleast 18 months at this stage. whereas declan really risked it all to get tyrian purple overnight for a first date gift after ONE conversation…the man was discussing their marriage as a ‘when’ not an ‘if’ before we even saw them kiss like what’s his excuse lmaoo

[corviiids]

i get the lines blur but there IS a big difference between media which doesn't explicitly tell/show you precisely what happens in the end but does point pretty clearly down the intended road vs legitimate open endings where you're supposed to decide what happens completely on your own and multiple interpretations would be supported

[smile-files]

i continue to find ii3 baffling. why did they make it (this isn't to hate on the season, i'm genuinely curious)

[fleetsonourgecentral]

A request: Ebony celebrates Fleetway Super birthday along with the freedom Fighthers celebrathing Sonic's birthday (so Super and Sonic share a birthday celebration :D) but Scourge IS jealous because he doesn't get any gifts

Adfjdasfjds Scourge being jealous for petty reasons my beloved

~~~

"This doesn't seem fair," Scourge grumbled, folding his arms and glaring at his surroundings like he could set the decorations alight with his eyes alone. Unfortunately, getting zapped by the Master Emerald didn't seem to grant him those powers, but hey, it was always worth double checking.

"Life isn't fair," Sonic said, smug smirk fully plastered on his face as he lounged on his throne for the day. The throne in question was nothing more than an old armchair fished out of the dump, and was covered in rips and clearly falling apart, but it was clean (thanks to Tekno's efforts) and it was the nicest chair the Freedom Fighters owned, so they made do.

Scourge was surprised they were putting in the effort at all. Sonic's ego was so big it was a wonder his head didn't swell and become too heavy for his body to carry; there was really no need to stroke his ego by giving him a throne.

For some reason, though, the Freedom Fighters, despite usually being extremely enthusiastic about keeping Sonic's ego in check, had decided today was an exception. It was his birthday, after all.

"How did you even get all this?" Scourge said. Thankfully, none of the cheesy "happy birthday" banners had been strung up on the wall - those were dumped on Ebony's doorstep - but in their place were custom-made banners proudly congratulating the Hero of Mobius on another year of victory over Robotnik. Over the top and unnecessary, considering the victory in question was mostly just his continued survival, and thus his continued ability to be a future pain in the ass.

Not that Robotnik didn't have it coming, but still.

"We made them!" Tails chirped from where he was stringing up another banner, this one declaring today as Sonic Day. "Tekno designed most of the banner so it would look cool enough that Sonic won't complain, and then Amy and I helped decide what they should say, and then we all painted them together!"

"And you didn't invite me?"

"We both know you would've told us all to fuck off if we asked you to help," Amy said, although the teasing smile on her face showed her comment was light-hearted instead of irritated. Gross.

"These aren't new, anyway," Tekno said. "We made these before you arrived, so you couldn't have helped. Unless you found a way to time travel. If you find an easy way to time travel, let me know?"

"Sure, whatever."

And now that Scourge was looking, the banners did seem a little worn. Small rips on the edges, colors dulled, the paper crinkled; obviously reused over the years. He nudged one of the banners crumpled on the floor with his foot, then picked it up to inspect it, holding it with his thumb and forefinger. Sonic's painted winking face greeted him, and Scourge sneered at it. On the back of the banner, he could see a cluster of signatures. Some he recognised - Tails and Amy - while some he'd never heard of - who in the world was Shortfuse? - and some... well, some were just initials, none of which he recognised. He certainly didn't remember any friends of Sonic's who went by J.L.

"Are you going to stand there, or are you going to help?" Amy said, lightly elbowing him as she passed, snatching the banner from his hands.

"What's it look like? I'm gonna stand here."

"No you're not. Help Tekno bring the gifts in."

"I'm not participating in this. You do shit like this then wonder why he's an arrogant dickhead."

"Is it arrogance if it's justified?" Sonic said.

"Justify my foot up your ass," Scourge said, just as Tekno dragged him away.

The pile of presents was bigger than it had any right to be. The Freedom Fighters didn't have much money - apparently fighting for the safety of the entire fucking planet doesn't pay well, or at all, which is bullshit and all the more reason for Scourge to find the whole thing stupid - so none of them could really afford to go all-out with the presents, but the bulk of the pile came from local civilians who had caught wind of the celebration and wanted to express their gratitude. Over the past week during their travels, civilians would stop them, shyly handing over presents and telling them they were for Sonic's birthday, a token of their appreciation for constantly saving their asses, because they couldn't be bothered to do it themselves.

No one said that last bit out loud, but Scourge always made sure to mentally add it.

Why they couldn't express their gratitude with some fucking cash, he did not know.

"Grab the presents by the table?" Tekno said, scooping presents into her arms. For what it was worth, although the pile was bigger than one would expect, at least most of the presents were small.

Groaning with all the contempt he could muster, Scourge shuffled over to the table and started tucking presents under his arms.

"Did you drop off everything at Ebony's?" Tekno said. Her voice was low, hidden by the rustle of the presents, only loud enough for Scourge to hear. Not that he thought Sonic could hear them when they were out here, but better safe than sorry.

"Whaddya take me for? Of course I did," Scourge said, voice equally low, although that was more for Tekno's peace of mind than his own. She'd shush him if she thought he was being too loud, but she was also really bad at shushing people quietly, and ended up attracting attention with her shushes more often than not. It was really counterproductive. Scourge didn't know why Sonic had let it slide for this long.

"Just making sure."

Scourge grunted, but he did give the rest of the presents an obligatory once-over, just to be sure there weren't any that shouldn't be there.

Super's birthday fell on the same day as Sonic's. It was why all the cheesy banners had been dumped on Ebony instead of in the trash where they belonged. The Freedom Fighters - okay, mostly Tekno - thought it was a good idea to send a few presents over from all of them, as a gesture of goodwill and minor bribery to please not turn evil and try to kill them all again. It was a plan Sonic had been conveniently left out of; even with their less strained relationship (although that really wasn't saying much) it was blatantly obvious he still wasn't fond of Super. He wouldn't stop them from giving him birthday presents, or wanting to wish him a happy birthday, but he would wrinkle his nose and mutter a comment under his breath, which was apparently a problem, although Scourge hadn't figured out why.

Ebony had asked if they wanted to stop by, even tentatively offered a joint birthday celebration if that would make things easier, but she was swiftly turned down. Presents were a safe bet, the Freedom Fighters had agreed, because they could be dropped off at any time, and Sonic would never have to know, and they could wish Super a happy birthday without ever leaving Sonic's side on the actual day. And they could send Scourge to be their little delivery boy so none of them would have to do it; despite the olive branch, Tails and Amy were still wary of Super. Apparently Scourge and (somehow) Tekno were the only ones who weren't little bitches about him.

Well, Sonic wasn't a little bitch exactly, but he wasn't as cool and casual about Super as he wanted to be. So he didn't count.

"I'm just saying," Scourge said, hefting as many presents into his arms as he could, "if you're going to make the decorations look like a 'congrats on kicking ass without dying' celebration, we should all be getting presents."

"It's not your birthday, though."

"I'm his boyfriend, though. Shouldn't I get, like, a solidarity present?"

"No, because it isn't your birthday."

Scourge bit back a comment about how if Super got to have a birthday just because he was another Sonic, then logically, so should he. Because, well, it wasn't his birthday, even though all the celebration really made it feel like it should be. He thought birthdays for Sonics were the same across all dimensions - he was pretty sure he shared a birthday with Prime, eugh - but apparently not.

With another exaggerated groan, he shuffled back into the living room with the presents towering high above him, because second trips were for chumps, and dumped them at Sonic's feet. His own gift wasn't in there, but only because he'd already given it to Sonic this morning. The moment he woke up, in fact. Scourge wasn't about to be beaten by anyone in anything, including being the first person to give Sonic a gift.

Not that it was anything special. Scourge wasn't exactly rolling in money either, and Sonic was a pain in the ass to shop for. Humiliation had nipped at his heels when he handed the gift over, ready to burn him, but Sonic seemed to really like it - underneath the obligatory layer of snark - so it was fine.

Probably.

He eyed the pile of presents again, and tried not to gnaw on his lip.

Some of the civilians who gave them presents looked... well, not well-off, but comfortable. Not rich, not even close to rich, but able to at least afford something nice for the Hero of Mobius. More than Scourge could afford.

More than any of the Freedom Fighters could afford, though, and Sonic didn't really give a shit about his fans outside of the inherent bragging rights that come with having fans in the first place. None of those civilians knew what Sonic liked. The Freedom Fighters did. Scourge did.

He doubted any civilian signatures were on the back of the banner he picked up.

A party thrown by civilians probably wouldn't look like this at all. That would be far more elaborate, with more people pitching in to help, even more vomit-worthy banners and decorations hung from every wall and banister, singing the praises of Sonic the Hedgehog. Over the top, and licking his ass, and making a huge deal out of him. Exactly the kind of celebration Sonic would like; he always loved it when people lavished him with praise for his efforts in saving the world, the arrogant bastard.

Sonic didn't have any of that, this year. Oh, sure, the party would stroke his ego, but it wasn't lavish. Compared to what he could have, it was almost humble.

But. He didn't look upset by it. Didn't even feign annoyance that it wasn't as big as it could be.

Scourge couldn't remember any of his own birthdays looking like this growing up. No friends surrounding him, bickering as they hung birthday banners or fetched presents or argued over the cake. No shitty birthday chair fished out of the dump. No lavish party to sing his praises. His birthdays weren't humble like this one, but they weren't extravagant, either.

They were... cold. Empty. There was no soul in the presents, no warmth in the candle of the cake. No signatures on the back of a hand-made birthday banner.

Scourge swallowed down the ugly feeling in his stomach.

Whatever. He didn't need any of that shit. He was Scourge the fucking Hedgehog, he knew exactly how great he was. Who needed a giant party? Not him. He wasn't that fragile.

"Scowl any harder and your face will get stuck."

Scourge flipped Sonic off without even looking. "Eat shit, birthday boy."

"Are you sulking because Pixel Brain jumped on you this morning when he came to wish me a happy birthday?"

"He crushed my fucking ribs," Scourge complained, glad for something to focus on. The interruption had been rude, and Tails was fortunate they were already awake; had he done that shit while Scourge was still asleep, he would've gotten an ass full of quills.

"Right. And you're definitely not sulking because you wanted to cuddle."

"I don't cuddle."

"Bullshit you don't."

"I don't. You have no proof."

"Then you're gonna start."

Before Scourge could say a word of protest, Sonic grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him onto his lap.

"Fuck off and let me go," Scourge snapped, shifting to get comfortable.

"It's my birthday," Sonic said, smirking his stupid, smug, victorious grin. "That means you have to do what I say."

"I'm not doing shit, you can't tell me what to do, birthday or not," Scourge said, leaning further into Sonic when he wrapped an arm around his waist to pull him closer.

"You'll get the chair when it's your birthday, if it's any consolation."

"Fuck the chair! What about my presents?"

"We'll see."

"Asshole," Scourge grumbled, biting Sonic lightly on the shoulder to emphasize his point, but he only got an amused chuckle in return.

"You're getting off when the cake gets here," Sonic said.

Huffing, Scourge snuggled further into Sonic. They'd see about that.

[solarpunkani]

Saw your tags on that post about swamp milkweed about having trouble getting it started--you may already know this, but milkweed seeds need light to germinate! They only need a light dusting of soil on top of them (and putting them somewhere with a lot of light helps!); if you can't see the seed through the soil, it's buried a little too deep. They basically want to be laying flat on the surface of the soil rather than poked down into it, with just enough soil on top to help them retain moisture. Yes this does make it kind of annoying to manage moisture because you don't really want them drying out either (sorry 😭) but I hope this helps!! I mention it because this is the most common issue I see with people trying to grow milkweeds from seed. They also want 4 weeks of cold stratification (cool temperatures like in a fridge while also being in contact with moist soil; you can plant your seeds, pop the whole pot in a ziplock/cover it with cling wrap, and just refrigerate it for a few weeks) so don't forget to do that!

You know

it's really funny

because i like to call myself the self-proclaimed milkweed queen of tumblr (at least on my gardening blog but still)

And yet

I

constantly fucking forget about the light thing

IDK if that'll fix all my problems (the soil at my house is pretty sandy so I think that's the problem when it comes to transplanting at least) but regarding getting those little shits to germinate??? that might be the ticket

(one of the other problems I face sometimes is the seeds deciding to mold when they're in the fridge cold stratifying, i lost a good chunk of seeds to that last year but i don't see any signs of it happening yet this year so fingers crossed everyone)

[fluffykitteninabox]

me at 15 reading about ocd on the internet: oh that sounds like a nightmare I don't think I could live like that, so glad I definitely don't have it

me getting diagnosed 7 years later:

[happyccino]

oh

that's

oh

i'm

i am legitimately tearing up oh wow

[mirrors-writing]

Me, writing my fanfic: man, Linus's mom sounds like a piece of work.

What if I made her worse? (Tag ramblies below)

[sevenhundred721]

Can't get into OCs from a yaoi angle sorryyyy romance only matters to me as an exploration of character and as a vehicle for comedy. I can't ship my character with yours I'm too busy developing his inner world and contemplating his dynamic with his girl best friend.

[aroace-nut-case]

last one’d be really fun to explore

is it clothes piloting the person?

is it an outfit that gets up on its own and lives your life?

could start out as the first one and slowly get worse and become the second

which fear would that fall under?

stranger maybe?

idk

let’s find out

Statements I would absolutely love to see:

Person has grudge on inanimate object. This takes over their life.

Itching

My house hates me oh god oh god

My computer is fucking BLEEDING

I keep causing people's deaths and I don't know why I swear it's accidental

Trapeze artist dies falling from the trapeze over and over again

Teeth

[cardhamine]

in the spirit of talking about our interests without feeling guilty, I will drop one fun fact about Breached which is that I have written nearly 20k words of a college AU ... rant in notes

*said like a sinner in a confessional and anyone reading this is the unwitting priest*

[dr4kenlvr]

"i wanna go home early tonight." — mha boys reaction to you telling them you wanna leave early [tiktok trend]

gn!reader x mha boys (deku, bakugo, todoroki, iida, kirishima, kaminari, sero) — 0.8k words

nana’s note: that one tiktok trend where people prank their bf saying they don’t wanna stay over the night LOL thought about kaminari’s reaction and decided to write everyone else’s. stupid, humorous, crack fic as the people say

deku: is on his phone and whips his head at you so fast you’d think he got whiplash LMAOO “w-wait, why?” he’s stammering already and frozen in place because poor izuku thinks he did something wrong to make you want to leave. drops his phone and all his attention is on you now and cue that inner monologue of his where he’s RAMBLING. his face gets all pink, eyes bubbling with concern as he tries to figure out what’s wrong, running through all possible reasons in the next three seconds until he just blurts out: “i can sleep on the couch!” PFFTTT you feel bad and stop the prank earlier than intended. he scratches his neck and laughs awkwardly as how quick he sold himself out HAHAHAA.

bakugo: “the fuck? why?” — instant hostility (toned down because it’s towards you). this mf was probably doing stretches on his floor because we all know he’s quietly all about that nightly wind-down routine. his brows furrow, lip curled in near disgust (you know that ugly face he makes all the time? yeah, LMAO) at the mere possibility that you don’t wanna stay the night. “because i’m not feeling it,” you retaliate with a shrug. bakugo watches you for a moment, completely silent as he scrutinizes your words. you almost break under his gaze cause like can he chill for 4 seconds… but he’s too smart and can see through your façade. “is this another damn tiktok trend? fuck outta my face with that.” (he spends the rest of the night by your side, doing whatever it is you want in silence)

todoroki: stares at you dumbfounded for a whole three seconds before quietly asking “… oh … why?” BUT SHOUTO IS SO SWEET BECAUSE THEN he’s questioning if you’re feeling okay, all gently and calmly. he’s quick to place a palm to your forehead, “are you feeling under the weather? i think fuyumi has some medication. do you want some water, too?” and he’s already half off the bed to fetch you whatever :( AWWW MY ANGEL BOY. you probably vow to never prank this boy in this sense again because he’s just too oblivious for his own good. got a good laugh outta you though because when you tell him it’s a prank he’s just like “.. oh, okay. i’m glad you’re feeling good, though.” with a cute small smile HAAHAH <3

iida: starts thwacking his hand in that chopping motion and he’s all flabbergasted like ???? has no genuine reason as to why you would say that, you seemed to be enjoying yourself the rest of the time. class rep takes off his glasses and cleans them like THAT COULD HELP HIM HEAR YOU BETTER OR COMPREHEND THE SITUATION LMFAOOOOOO. iida would gently hold your shoulders and ask you if everything is okay, like, did he… do something wrong? you burst out laughing in his face because he’s so serious and when you tell him it’s all a joke, the man’s glasses fog up in embarrassment. “do not play these games,” he says as he proceeds to grab a fresh pair of glasses off his wall. OKAY IIDA.

kirishima: you tell him from downstairs, yelling that you’re gonna head out soon. CUE HIS “what?! hey, babe—wait!” FROM THE TOP OF THE STEPS AND THE LOUD STOMPS OF HIS BIG ASS COMING DOWN. he’s like basically naked because he was in the process of changing before he heard you announce your leave LMAO. “why? what’s wrong, baby?” he’s so genuinely worried and confused, walking up to you with open arms. “don’t leave,” he’s POUTING. poor boy probably had the whole night planned out (movies, activities, snacks, hell—even your skincare regime he’ll do with you!). he wanted to do EVERYTHING. doesn’t find the prank very funny but sighs in relief. “don’t do that…” sharp-toothed lopsided grin <3

kamanari: i’m already dying at the thought of this man SCRABBLING to you from his bed to his door when you get up and announce you’re leaving. slides to you on his knees and wraps his arms around you. “BABE, WHY?” LMFAOOOO this dramatic mf I CAN’T. biggest puppy dog eyes. now see, i think he’d know about this prank but all reason flies out the window when his amazing and hot partner is threatening to leave his house for the night. all he can think about is HE CAN’T SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU? it’s enough to make him beg at the camera that blatantly in his face (he doesn’t notice it).

sero: you two are chilling on the couch watching some trash television when you say you wanna go home early. then to your absolute horror, this man goes “okay, see you.” HELLOOOO???? but sero is snickering to himself because this man already knows what your ass is up to. he’s quite the actor because he deadpans at you with a “what?” when you stare at him like ???? LMAOOOOOO. but he knows he went too far when he says “i can call you an uber or something.” he doesn’t get to blink before his last sight is your body flying at him HAHAAH “i’m sorry! i’m sorry!!” but the two of you laugh so hard together. sigh, i love a man that can play along.

[viaxslz]

͏ ͏ . ˙˖ ͏ ͏᱖ ͏ ͏ WHEN YOU DON'T KISS THEM ꒰´ ꒳ ` ꒱♡

享受 ! .°. ݁₊ 𐙚 gn!reader, cw: kissing, fluffy fluff, they’re hella dramatic, pet names, not proofread :P

CHAN

Confused puppy mode activated. He blinks at you like you’ve just told him you hate puppies and sunshine. “Wait… you don’t wanna kiss me? Like. Right now?” He immediately checks his breath. Sniffs his shirt. *“Did I do something?” When you teasingly shake your head and walk away, he dramatically collapses onto the couch like he’s in a K-drama. “So this is what heartbreak feels like…” Literally pouts for the next ten minutes. Will not stop staring at your lips. Once it goes on for that long he Starts offering kisses to inanimate objects. “Okay fine, I’ll kiss this pillow instead. It never betrays me.” Bonus: the second you kiss him later, he perks up like nothing ever happened. “Knew you couldn’t resist me.” Smug and clingy for the next hour. You’ve created a monster.

MINHO

Immediately squints at you like you just challenged his entire existence. “...You must be joking.” Proceeds to act like you just committed a crime against the state of Minho. Fake gasp. “After everything I’ve done for you? Dramatically flops onto the bed, face down. Mumbles something about betrayal and ungrateful partners. Ten seconds later, peeks up: “Was it my eyeliner? Be honest.” Lowkey offended, highkey teasing. Will start threatening your plushies. “If you don’t kiss me in five seconds, Mr. Bunbun gets it.” Refuses to let you live in peace until you give in. Starts hovering near you with his cheek out like: “You could fix this right now. Just saying.” If you still don’t kiss him, he pouts and goes quiet for a whole… five minutes. Then casually brushes his fingers against yours and mutters, “...You’re lucky I like you.”

CHANGBIN

Visibly malfunctions. Stares at you like his world just crumbled. “Huh?? You’re joking. That was a joke, right?” Looks around like he’s on a hidden camera show. “Did I not flex enough today? Is that why?” Pulls out his phone, turns the front camera on. Stares at himself. “No way someone this cute is getting rejected right now.” Dramatic™ but clingy: follows you around the room, hands behind his back like a lost duckling. “I’m not saying I’m upset. But my heart? Yeah, it’s broken.” Tries puppy eyes. Then arms-crossed-pouting. Then both. If you keep refusing just to tease him, he gasps and goes: “Wow. Betrayal. This is worse than when Felix ate my last dumpling.” Eventually sulks in a corner… until you sneak a kiss on his cheek. Perks up immediately: “You still love me. I knew it.”

HYUNJIN

Gasp. Actual gasp. Like hand-to-chest, Shakespeare-level shock. “You’re refusing me? Me?? The most kissable man alive?” Stares at you in disbelief like you just said you don’t like art or dogs. Immediately gets extra dramatic. leans against a wall like he’s in a tragic romance movie. “So this is what unrequited love feels like…” Paces around the room dramatically whispering, “Why? Why me?” May or may not fake faint into your arms. “I’m going to write poetry about this betrayal.” Pulls out his sketchbook and scribbles something that looks suspiciously like a broken heart with your name in it. BUT the moment you offer a kiss later, he puts the drama on hold so fast. “Oh? You’ve come to your senses? I forgive you.” (Still makes you kiss him three times to make up for the heartbreak.)

HAN

Instantly gasps like he’s been shot. “WHAT DID I DO?! Tell me right now. I can change.” Drops to his knees in the middle of the room. “Is it because I ate your last snack? I’ll buy you ten more. Just please kiss me.” Dramatic? Yes. Clingy? Also yes. Starts listing reasons why he deserves a kiss. “I’m cute. I’m loyal. I only cried twice this week.” 100% will try to trick you into kissing him. “Hey, what’s that on your cheek?” When you turn to face him he puckers his lips. When you still refuse, he fake-wipes a tear. “This is worse than that time my mom forgot to pack my juice box.” Crawls under a blanket burrito-style and mutters, “I’m going to disappear from society.” …until you give him a kiss and he immediately pops up like, “Okay I’m healed. You’re forgiven. Let’s make out.”

FELIX

At first, he thinks you didn’t hear him. “Wait, love… did you… did you miss the part where I asked for a kiss?” You say no. He gasps. Visibly stunned. Looks personally victimized. Places a hand on his chest like, “my freckles are crying right now.” Looks up at you with the saddest puppy eyes you’ve ever seen. “But I baked you cookies last week…” Might dramatically flop onto the floor with zero warning. “This is the end. This is how I go. KISSLESS.” Starts muttering in his deep voice: “No more sunlight. No more hope. Just vibes and heartbreak.” Will start offering you bribes: “One kiss = one Aussie accent moment.” If you give in, he lights up like the sun. “YAY! I mean… ahem thank you, my love.” If you don’t, he pouts and writes “RIP me” in your notes app.

SEUNGMIN

You say no and he just blinks at you. “Okay.” Totally calm. Deadpan. Turns back to his phone. You think he doesn’t care. He’s so chill it’s suspicious. But five minutes later, you realize… He’s suddenly so petty. “No, I’m not sharing my fries. People who withhold kisses don’t get fries.” Starts fake-laughing at memes on his phone louder than usual. “Wow. This meme gave me more affection than SOME people. Keeps glancing at you, unimpressed. “You had one job.” If you try to kiss him later to make up for it, he leans back with raised brows. “Ohhh, so now you want to kiss me?” Acts like he’s in negotiations. “I’ll consider it… for a price.” But one kiss and he melts instantly. “Okay fine. I guess I am cute enough to forgive.”

JEONGIN

Freezes. Just freezes. “Wait. Are you serious?” Squints at you like you just said you don’t like baby bread. “Do you know what you’re missing out on?” gestures to his own face “Premium. Kissable. Visuals.” At first, he acts like he’s too cool to care. “Tch. Whatever. I didn’t want one anyway.” Five minutes later: “I could’ve been kissed… but nooo… someone had to be heartless.” Starts sending you dramatic selfies captioned: “Unkissed. Unloved. Unbothered.” Tries to guilt trip you with his pouty face. “Even Seungmin would kiss me right now.” Eventually starts following you around whispering “kiss me kiss me kiss me” like a cursed ringtone. When you finally kiss him? “Took you long enough.” But his smile is so big he gives himself away in two seconds.

PERM TAGLIST 📌🔖 ──── @the-sea-called-history02 @oc3anfloor @queenofdumbfuckery

[maneskinwh0re]

modern!sevika x housewife!reader // clueless couple

cw: fluff, loser butch sevy, age gap (if you squint), more fluff

i saw a post that said “holding back the urge to say ‘must’ve been ur other girlfriend’ to my bf” and it gave me the idea to write about saying it to our sev

i imagine modern!sevika is a loser lesbian but also a clueless millennial who thinks she knows everything and then proceeds to get extremely humbled. she’s adorable, your honor.

༺♡༻❀༺♡༻ ༺♡༻❀༺♡༻ ༺♡༻❀༺♡༻

༺♡༻❀༺♡༻ ༺♡༻❀༺♡༻ ༺♡༻❀༺♡༻

slow mornings are your favorite. the windows to your kitchen are swung open, allowing in thin beams of sunlight and fresh air, while the smell of brewed coffee swirls through the room.

standing at the stove, you make breakfast for you and your wife, flipping a second omelette for sevika because she has already finished the first, now nibbling on a banana slice while she waits.

she leans against the counter next to you, eyes squinting at her phone as she tries to scroll through her photos. she moves the device further away, then brings it closer, inches from her face, the brightness of the screen surely not helping her aging eyesight.

“can never figure out this damn thing,” she says with an agitated huff before you look at her stance and giggle. she’s hunched over in a grey tank top and black boxers, large veined hands cradling her cracked phone. her hair is pulled back into a stubby ponytail while small wisps of framed bangs fall against her cheekbones.

“you can’t figure it out because y’ can’t see, mama,” you chuckle as you take the thin glasses atop her head and set them nicely on the bridge of her nose. “that better?”

“oh,” the difference is night and day, you practically see her big eyes refocus with a dumbfounded blink. “yes, much better, hon’.”

and with that, she’s right back to pure eagerness as she tells a story of how she and ran beat the boys over a few poker games, elaborating on how she brought home lots of extra cash last night. while she scrolls to find a specific picture of her winning hand, she pauses for a moment to question her own memory and turns to you.

“wait- have i told y’ this already?”

“hm, no,” you reply, shaking your head as you toss the omelette onto a plate. “must’ve been your other wife.”

your side comment totally sweeps over your butch’s head at first. you give her a moment to nod and continue searching through her phone before she completes a double take — no. a quadruple take with a confused followed by a truly bewildered expression.

“what?” sevika’s head snaps to you for the fourth time, brows furrowed clearly in offense. (reference pic at the top :))

you only hum up at her with expectancy, playing the act of clueless defiance.

“what’d you just say?” she repeats with a ghost of a smile, setting her phone on the counter.

“i didn’t- what?” you dismiss, gripping the handle of the empty pan and moving past sevika to set it in the sink. although she doesn’t let you get away so easily. “nothin’! i don’t know what you’re talking ab-”

with a tight grip on your waist, she yanks you backwards, erupting a squeal from your throat followed by a fit of laughter as you fall against her. her breath tickles your skin as she peppers kisses up and down the side of your neck and shoulder.

“what the hell are y’ on about? my ‘other wife’? you’re insane.”

“oh, so now i’m insane to you? i imagine more insane than your side bride. got it,” you banter as you grip her forearm that holds you close. one of her hands then turns your face up towards her lips. “i guess you’ll just have to tell her that i-”

your words are cut off with a gentle kiss. sevika tastes a mix of morning breath and black coffee, her disheveled self looks and smells in desperate need of a warm shower. but when your wife pulls away with admiration in those big grey eyes, you wouldn’t give any of it up for the world.

not the good, not the bad. for better for worse, in sickness and in health. to love and to cherish.

“shush. i’m yours.”

༺♡༻❀༺♡༻ ༺♡༻❀༺♡༻ ༺♡༻❀༺♡༻

ignore grammar/spelling mistakes 😜 dropping another random fluff bomb then locking back in to my bum ass math classes 🐑💣

also i’m absolutely LOVING all the asks that’s been sent to my inbox, TRUST i see them and will get to them all eventually!! again just super busy with school/family/friend drama recently, all is good tho and always feel free to send requests or just spam meee

stay safe out there divas 💜

-🐝

taglist: @cdbabymp3 @mirconreadzztuff22 @wizard-pdf @archangeldyke-all @nhaaauyen @inthebrainofalamb

[bnyf]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ#1 crush ♡

╭﹕୨୧﹒yandere male elf x female human reader ♡

┊ warnings : yandere content and themes, unhealthy behaviors, relationship and relationship dynamic, sexual content, noncon, kidnapping, size difference, strange dynamic.

╰﹕୨୧﹒authoress note : after receiving some unwanted but much needed criticism i've tried my hand at writing a little better and fixing errors. i apologize in advance if there's any errors or gaps in my writing, i also apologize for the messed up story that this is. ik some people don't like the way i write the reader but like??? idgaf sorry anyways other than that, i hope you guys enjoy, please read the warnings and proceed with caution <3 i would also like to say that this post is kinda inspired by a very popular yandere artist on here with a male elf oc

what a treacherous fate had befallen on a vitreous soul such as yourself.

it truly is unfortunate, you're so unlucky. how could your luck have run so low? to think, this everyday mundane routine would now be your nightmarish reality was stomach wrenching. you never did anything to deserve this, this was simply some sort of faulty by the gods, right? there's no way this is your horrible ending. no way.

you sobbed and yet... he hummed and chastised you by smacking your puffy clitorous.

it's always like this, it's been like this for...? a while now apparently. you've completely lost track of time. maybe a month or so if you're playing the guessing game.

well, if it wasn't obvious already, you've been taken hostage by an insane elven prince. probably the most insanely angelic, good-looking, prettiest and sick minded male you've ever met.

he really needs professional help. something that he can more than afford considering his house is almost made of gold, his herculean physique adored and draped only with the most expensive clothes, jewels, silks, soaps and scented creams and perfumes. his perfume, so extravagant, worth more than your vital organs all put together. that was the part you admired about elven people, they are so intelligent, so ahead of humans.

but to him? therapy is cheap and free! you're the first ever human he's laid eyes on and that's all he really needs. and really, you're the one to blame for his actions. it's all you. so you should take responsibility, right?

he's sought out humans before, trying to break the barrier between the two worlds and connect with them. he was damn near obsessed with coming into contact with the human realm and ruling over them like a god despite the fact that any sort of magic that threatens to break the barrier and connect the realms or offer passage through the two realms is absolutely forbidden. this is such a serious offense that if caught violating, can lead to public execution.

but your little caregiver did not! give one flying hoot at all, nor did the rules really even apply to royals as the royals participated in a lot of magical corruption and kept it all on the low.

so what a surprise! not really that he'd succeed in his conquest. not entirely since he'd only manage to bring one human to the elven realm, but now he knows for sure he's making great progress. and not only succeed in getting a nitty gritty palms on any human, but such a cute little human female like yourself.

humans are a lot more fragile, smaller, weaker, lesser intelligent beings, almost like a sub species from elves. so that's why you must be taken care of with so much extra love and attentiveness. all this was his reasoning for treating you like a minor being, enabling you and excuses for his weird kinks.

there was no way you'd ever dream of over powering him, not when a large veiny arm wrapped so tightly around your wrists, holding it behind your back, and the other with it's slender long digits effortlessly reaching your g spot.

it was 'bath time' or whatever, which called for a thorough inspection and cleanse. or just another excuse to use your body to his likings.

his tongue lap at your folds and clit, moaning in delight and relishing in all your juices spraying him. his voice muffled by your pussy, making wet sounds as he attempts to praise your gorgeous body: all of which sounds like incohesive unhinged, obsessive rambling of course.

if you ignore this scene and focus on other small things around you maybe you can, somewhat imagine yourself having a luxurious warm bath in the tub, with flowers and scented stuff in the water, scented candles creating a relaxing atmosphere, marvelous one-sided glass view... maybe not the one-sided glass view that's actually a little too scary to think about but yeah, you're having a nice little bath.

the most relaxing bath in the most prettiest and pearliest tiled bathroom you've ever been in.

your insides contorts though and you find yourself coming again undone on those perfectly manicured fingers of his, messing up his perfect face with your essence. your voice is loud and echoes throughout the bathroom, all the way into the bedroom and closet but never enough to each anyone's ears as he's casted multiple protective barrier spells to keep your presence unknown from other elven people. you've came like 5 times already and he won't let you rest, getting high off your pussy juices.

"poor baby, you look so tired, shhh don't worry~ mama will take care of everything, just relax and be good for me, okay? it'll all be over soon, my darling ^ mama will get you all cleaned up and dressed, right after this..." you wish you had the energy to welp out an 'ewwwwww da fuck?!' right about now but you were so weak and constantly sedated. you felt helpless as his bulbous tip hits your pussy, rubbing it back and forth to coat and lubricate himself with your juices. he leisurely teases, making your hole spasm and grasp around nothing, your body reacting in a lovely manner to his advances.

he licks his lips, only putting the tip in before quickly pulling back out. taking his time cause he wants to drive you insane like him. and luckily for him, his mind games always work so well.

his precum leaking and smearing you in the process as he rubs his whole length, measuring your pelvic area with his cock length and soon putting it in to see how far it'll actually go.

you almost blacked out. even though he prepped you well for this it still stings, he's just too big. and you? way too tight, squeezing him like you want every last drop of his seed, has him shivering and grunting in the process.

"fck- you're so tight, baby ngh~"

has him seeing stars and by the time he's balls deep in you and hitting the tip of your womb, you're a drooling and moaning mess. can't even control his obsessive thoughts from spilling out his mouth, he immediately gets to work on those hips too like a wild animal, only sparing a few seconds to sloppily kiss you and slap your thick behind.

it only takes a few minutes before he breaks his load inside you and shifts you into another position, manhandling you and roughing you up like a meat toilet, all for his own enjoyment and pleasure.

his long silky hair tickling your skin. when you think about it, he's so masculine with many feminine traits too, like the perfect balance actually and it is to be expected from an elf. he always wants to be in control, always wants to take care of you like a god watching over his creation. it sorta overlaps with him calling himself your mama but it makes sense in a way. he doesn't see himself as a woman in any sort of way, he just wants unrestricted authority over you.

your tears stream down your cheeks which he licks away and kisses, it only hurts your head trying to rationalize this or even understand it, your vision goes all blurry and for the next few rounds, your in and out of consciousness while being filled.

when you're awake again, you're draped in silk half naked and powdered up, you feel your caretakers strong arms wrapped around you, spooning you as rubs circles into your skin. he's also half naked with nothing but a cloth draped around himself. you both lay on a soft layered bed with many squishy pillows and blankies. fruits, steam veggies and grilled meat laid out on a silver tray for you to enjoy, though your stomach was filled with his cum.