#aspec rant

[nellydrawss]

So I am kinda confused on when it is "okay" to change the sexualities/romantic orientation/gender of fictional characters. Like if forsay a character is straight in all ways and feels the gender that they were born and there is a cannon ship for them, is it okay to either change their sexuality/romantic orientation/gender and ship em with a different character or specifically change those orientation to aspec terms and just... Not ship em? This question comes from basically Wednesday that ppl thought she's ace and stuffs but she is not. I've seen people shipping her with friend which I understand I guess but on the other hand when she wasn't shipped and made aspec it was not okay? Idk I am confused on the shipping and how it is okay to ship just anyone with anyone, they are fictional characters afterall so who am i to judge... Oh well

[twomanyfandomshelp]

Exactly.

The word queer literally means “strange or different”. Queer people are queer because they are different from traditional ideas of sexuality or gender in some way, shape, or form.

Gays and lesbians are different because they’re attracted to members of the same sex as them.

Bisexuals and pansexuals are different because they’re attracted to multiple genders.

Transgender and nonbinary folks are different because they identify with a gender other than the one they were assigned at birth.

IT’S THE SAME FOR ASPECS!!!

Asexuals are different because they experience sexual attraction differently than most people or not at all.

Aromantics are different because they experience romantic attraction in a way that is not considered “normal”.

Agender folks are different because they perceive gender in a nontraditional sense or feel they don’t have a gender.

Aplatonics are different because they don’t have traditional platonic feelings and relationships.

The only “requirement” to be considered queer is to differ from the traditional ideas of sexuality, love, and gender.

So why are aspec people not considered “valid” members of the LGBTQIA+ community to the point where so many people think the A stands for ALLY?! THE A STANDS FOR ASPEC WHICH INCLUDES ASEXUAL, AROMANTIC, AGENDER, AND APLATONIC!!!

Don’t you ever let anyone try to tell you that you’re not valid. If you’ve known your sexuality/gender for years now and you’re comfortable with it and who you are, you’re valid. If you’ve only just recently figured out your sexuality/gender and you feel so much lighter and freer and comfortable, you’re valid. If you recently figured out your sexuality/gender and it has you reeling and confused and scared, you’re valid. If you choose not to use a label and that’s what makes you happy and comfortable, you’re valid. If you have no idea what your sexuality/gender is, and that’s terrifying, you’re valid. If you have no idea what your sexuality/gender is and you don’t really care because you love yourself anyway, you’re valid. If you’re out to everyone and very open about your sexuality, you’re valid. If you’re not out to a single soul and hide your queer identity, you’re valid. Whatever your situation may be, you’re valid.

Happy pride month everyone, I love you 🫶🏼

Saw a post that made me furious yesterday so if people STILL don't understand this:

Aspec people are queer.

And no, it's not our love that makes us queer, it's our LACK of certain types of love that make us queer.

There is of course aspec people who are queer both because of their love and their lack of love, but being aspec is queer because of the lack of love.

Saying "but aspecs love too! Their love is also important! Aro and ace people have love and their love is also important!" is not the support you think it is for a lot of aspec people.

My love for my mother isn't what makes me queer. My love for my friends isn't what makes me queer. It's my lack or romantic love that makes me queer. Yea love is important to me, especially platonic love, but that is not what makes me queer.

And let's not forget about loveless aros.

For the love of god stop going "but aros love too!" just so you can relate to us somehow or just so you can include us. We don't need love to be included.

And because some people are going to take this as a personal attack: no, there is nothing wrong with being gay. There is nothing wrong with love is love. Love is important to a lot of people and I am not saying love is bad.

Happy pride everyone

[miitopia-cake]

me looking for ace/aro characters: lets go gambling!

[character's sex repulsion is used for jokes] aw dang it

[character is put in sexual situations despite disliking it] aw dang it

[character's identity is ignored by fandom] aw dang it

[characters creators sexualize them] aw dang it

[aro character gets 'fixed' by true love] aw dang it

[aro/ace character is literally an animal] aw dang it

[creator messes up definition of asexuality] aw dang it

[characters asexuality is never brought up in media] aw dang it

[kiwinatorwaffles]

people can do whatever they want with fictional characters forever but one thing that always pisses me off is how aro/ace characters are treated in shipping.

while it is a naive mentality to tell people never to ship aspec characters, saying “aces CAN have sex” and “aros CAN be in a romantic relationship” to defend erasing their aspec identity just to ship them as if they were like an allo person means you don’t respect their identity, nor ours. yes aces can have sex. yes aros can be in a romantic relationship. but they will still be aromantic and asexual while in that relationship. and don’t even get me started on using demi identities as an “easy explanation” for why it’s okay to allowash them. other identities are treated with such absolution, so why should we continuously get the short end of the stick?

so i guess the thesis of this post is that people are absolutely allowed to ship aspec characters but if you mfs don’t care enough to understand the nuances of our identities i’m taking your aspec blorbos and putting them on a high shelf

[fnafs-ex-boyfriend]

People shipping aroace characters because “uuu there’s no angst if no ship uuu” well fuck that because remember the “what the fuck is wrong with me” angst. Remember the “oh fuck this person likes me but I don’t like them back” angst. The “should I pretend to date this person so as not to hurt their feelings” angst. The

[a-rabbit-obsessed-queer]

Aspec men deserve much more respect and recognition in the aspec community than they receive. They often face a different form of aphobia specific to them ("men are naturally sexual they can't be ace" "all men are unromantic that's not unique") this rhetoric is spouted by many, even members of our own community and I hope for a day where that is no longer the case. As an ace and demiro woman (demigirl but that's beside the point) I want to encourage folks to take the time to give the aspec men in their lives support and to the aspec men reading, you are who you say you are no matter what people say and you deserve the world. I'm sorry for the ways in which toxic masculinity has harmed you. You are a valued member of the aspec community and the queer community as a whole. No ace or aro person is broken and neither are you. I'm sorry if anyone has ever told you otherwise.

[theautisticfroglord]

I genuinely hate when people invalidate demiromantic/demisexual/other labels in general by saying somethin like "OMG!!!! why do these labels exist that's how every relationship is!!!!! what has this generation come to?!!?,!?!!"

some people out here are dating someone they just met two days ago. while it literally took me two whole years of getting to know someone before having a crush on them. can y'all please not find excuses to invalidate aspec/arospec people. thanks

[locklylemybeloved]

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT WHILE VALENTINES DAY ITSELF IS LOWKEY A CORPORATE CASH GRAB TODAY IS STILL ABOUT CELEBRATING LOVE BUT THAT MEANS ALL LOVE NOT JUST ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL LOVE YES I MEAN PLATONIC AND FAMILIAL LOVE PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL LOVE ARE NOT THE ONLY TYPES OF LOVE WORTH CELEBRATING ON THIS LOVELY WEDNESDAY

(Caps ID below the cut)

[Caps ID: friendly reminder that while valentines day itself is lowkey a corporate cash grab today is still about celebrating love but that means all love not just romantic and sexual love. yes i mean platonic and familial love. please remember that romantic and sexual love are not the only types of love worth celebrating on this lovely wednesday]

[henry-or-something]

Me: oh cool! a canon aroace spectrum character that is well fleshed out. I never see rep of someone with the same sexuality as me. I hope the fandom appreciates this queer representation.

The fandom: *one of the most shipped characters* ArOaCe PeOpLe StIlL dAtE!!1!

Me: ...

[hilacopter]

normalize liking platonic dynamics just as much as romantic dynamics. normalize being insane over characters as friends and not as a ship. normalize wanting characters to be closer platonically just as you would want them to be closer romantically (I call it platonic shipping). normalize not having characters fall in love for no reason when they were already great and compelling platonically. normalize characters doing things that are usually seen as romantic but in a platonic context. normalize writing platonic fanfiction and drawing platonic fanart. "I am insane about their friendship" can and should be common actually. amatonormativity BEGONE!

[genderfluidblob]

Literally gonna crash out if I see one more post that implies/says asexual people don't want/have children

WHAT THE FUCK DOES MY SEXUAL ATTRACTION HAVE TO DO IF I WANT KIDS OR NOT

This probbaly applies to everyone who's aspec but I'm not aromantic so someone else can tell me if this affects you guys too

[lemoncatssss]

Has anyone else like, forgotten people can still think you're attracted to anyone? Like, I meet new people and I forget they think that I feel romantic/sexual attraction

Like, ew, I'm being Perceived As A Romantic/Sexual Being

They think I'm flirting when I'm just out here trying to interact with people

[stiffyck]

I WISH ARO HEADCANONS WERE MORE POPULAR IN FANDOMS

[thelittlestpika]

I love fandom spaces but some people piss me off so badly. The particular people who piss me off are those who ignore characters' canon sexualities for the sake of shipping and/or hate healthy canon relationships because it interferes with their personal ships. Everyone always says they want more representation but, when we get it (especially aro/ace/aroace), they cover their eyes and ears because they don't like it.

"But aro/ace people can be in relationships/have sex!" Correct but that's not an excuse when a character has shown repulse to something like uninvited touch. Also, some people are sex repulsed or romance repulsed but allo people don't seem to care about that for the sake of a ship they personally like.

The reason this makes me so upset is that it seems to basically only be the case with characters who aren't allo. Why do you just assume every character wants a relationship? Why don't you ship lesbians with men or gays with women? Because it's homophobic?

You're being aphobic.

[kiwinatorwaffles]

i pity people who say “yeah it’s nice to see these two characters as friends but their relationship becomes so much more meaningful if you see them as romantic.” how has the dredges of the amanormative world poisoned you this bad? have you never had a friend or wanted a friend who changed your life for the better? or if you do i feel bad for them because of so obviously little you value them

[frogprincessmack]

I'm genuinely so mad. Got a full as video randomly pop up on my feed of a girl LICKING A DICK. Obviously, being Asexual, I DID NOT WANT TO SEE THIS. So I tried to clear my mind and scroll past as quick as possible to the tags and avert my eyes.

Okay, it's a weird bot.

Okay...it's on the Asexual tag. Maybe they were just trying to grab attention on sexuality tags and didn't know what Asexual was?

Oookay...Asexual is the only sexuality tag on it....maybe they were just grabbing trending tags?

....That's. That's the only trending tag on there.

It feels deliberate. I don't understand, why?? WHY??