#aspecs are queer

[aceysun]

"love is love" until it doesn't include sex

"love is love" until it lives in separate beds

"love is love" until it is queer platonic

"love is love" until it does not comply with compulsory sexuality and amatonormativity

love IS love, for aspecs, for sex repulsed folk and for platonic relationships

"love is love" apply to more than same-sex relationships in a world where romantic and sexual relationships are considered more valuable

Remember to advocate for Asexuals and Aromantics this pride. Because we are also here, and we are also queer

[bored-boring-and-tired]

i propose that instead of pride month, we have queer year (queer people are treated like actual people all year long)

edit: @ilackhumanqualities wins best addition to this post

[cryiling]

happy friday and nothing else !! 🥰🫶

[twomanyfandomshelp]

Exactly.

The word queer literally means “strange or different”. Queer people are queer because they are different from traditional ideas of sexuality or gender in some way, shape, or form.

Gays and lesbians are different because they’re attracted to members of the same sex as them.

Bisexuals and pansexuals are different because they’re attracted to multiple genders.

Transgender and nonbinary folks are different because they identify with a gender other than the one they were assigned at birth.

IT’S THE SAME FOR ASPECS!!!

Asexuals are different because they experience sexual attraction differently than most people or not at all.

Aromantics are different because they experience romantic attraction in a way that is not considered “normal”.

Agender folks are different because they perceive gender in a nontraditional sense or feel they don’t have a gender.

Aplatonics are different because they don’t have traditional platonic feelings and relationships.

The only “requirement” to be considered queer is to differ from the traditional ideas of sexuality, love, and gender.

So why are aspec people not considered “valid” members of the LGBTQIA+ community to the point where so many people think the A stands for ALLY?! THE A STANDS FOR ASPEC WHICH INCLUDES ASEXUAL, AROMANTIC, AGENDER, AND APLATONIC!!!

Don’t you ever let anyone try to tell you that you’re not valid. If you’ve known your sexuality/gender for years now and you’re comfortable with it and who you are, you’re valid. If you’ve only just recently figured out your sexuality/gender and you feel so much lighter and freer and comfortable, you’re valid. If you recently figured out your sexuality/gender and it has you reeling and confused and scared, you’re valid. If you choose not to use a label and that’s what makes you happy and comfortable, you’re valid. If you have no idea what your sexuality/gender is, and that’s terrifying, you’re valid. If you have no idea what your sexuality/gender is and you don’t really care because you love yourself anyway, you’re valid. If you’re out to everyone and very open about your sexuality, you’re valid. If you’re not out to a single soul and hide your queer identity, you’re valid. Whatever your situation may be, you’re valid.

Happy pride month everyone, I love you 🫶🏼

Saw a post that made me furious yesterday so if people STILL don't understand this:

Aspec people are queer.

And no, it's not our love that makes us queer, it's our LACK of certain types of love that make us queer.

There is of course aspec people who are queer both because of their love and their lack of love, but being aspec is queer because of the lack of love.

Saying "but aspecs love too! Their love is also important! Aro and ace people have love and their love is also important!" is not the support you think it is for a lot of aspec people.

My love for my mother isn't what makes me queer. My love for my friends isn't what makes me queer. It's my lack or romantic love that makes me queer. Yea love is important to me, especially platonic love, but that is not what makes me queer.

And let's not forget about loveless aros.

For the love of god stop going "but aros love too!" just so you can relate to us somehow or just so you can include us. We don't need love to be included.

And because some people are going to take this as a personal attack: no, there is nothing wrong with being gay. There is nothing wrong with love is love. Love is important to a lot of people and I am not saying love is bad.

Happy pride everyone

[maerhiya]

i firmly believe that A LOT of people are actually under the aromantic and/or asexual spectrum and they just don't know it yet

[miitopia-cake]

me looking for ace/aro characters: lets go gambling!

[character's sex repulsion is used for jokes] aw dang it

[character is put in sexual situations despite disliking it] aw dang it

[character's identity is ignored by fandom] aw dang it

[characters creators sexualize them] aw dang it

[aro character gets 'fixed' by true love] aw dang it

[aro/ace character is literally an animal] aw dang it

[creator messes up definition of asexuality] aw dang it

[characters asexuality is never brought up in media] aw dang it

[runwiththerain]

more people need to be aware of the term alterous attraction (a desire for a close emotional connection with someone, but it's not completely romantic or platonic) and use it instead of calling everything a qpr. because by calling everything a qpr you are turning that term into a label instead of what it actually is - an umbrella term for many non conventional types of relationships.

[aroacesocialist]

Guys trump made everyone female???? Somehow???? Which means straight people don’t exist I guess???? This administration shares one brain cell that just did apoptosis. So um I guess everyone is either aspec or a lesbian? Idk I’m trying to laugh so I don’t cry.

[buddieinmybeddie]

LGBTQ+ folk what was your gender/sexuality pipeline?

[lgbtqtext]

[8-billion-wishes]

This can’t just be me, right?

[aroacevibes-07]

Good description! Say it louder for the idiots in the back!

Asexuality is a Spectrum. Asexuality is NOT Celibacy.

[jay-wasstuff]

[styrofauxm]

Honestly, I am pretty frustrated by the "haha why would anyone hate ace people" responses to Rowling's tweet.

Don't get me wrong, the support is nice. But if you want to be an ally, you have to do so on our terms, not yours. And that means actually engaging with the aspec community, not just posting positivity every now and again. And what those responses highlight to me is what I've known for a while; you guys only support aspec people when it's easy and convenient.

It's easy to support aspec people when it's J.K. Rowling being awful again. It's easy to support us when it's just reblogging an "aspec people are queer" post.

But what about when we are talking about amatonormativity and the relationship hierarchy? When we are discussing the enforcement of compulsory sexuality? When we are pushing for greater awareness and support for aspec identities that are not asexuality or aromanticism? When we are criticizing terminology that you use but harms us? Because I can tell you right now, I rarely see allo people engage with those posts.

Why do people hate asexuality (or any other aspec identity)? Because it challenges the societal norms that benefit them. And that is uncomfortable and scary. So they turn to hate and oppression in order to assure that the changes we push by just openly existing never happen.

That means that to be a good aspec ally, you can't just make a positivity post every now and again, and you can't just laugh about how stupid aphobes are. You have to openly challenge the societal norms that harm us, even if they benefit you. Including but not limited to:

The idea that romantic and sexual attraction is the default state of being (amatonormativity)

The idea that a romantic, sexual relationship completes a person

People in marriages receiving special privileges and benefits

The idea that platonic, familial, etc. attraction are default states of being

The idea that not feeling some form of attraction must be compensated for through another form of attraction

The idea that love (not just romantic) is inherently morally good, while not feeling love is inherently a moral failing

The idea that any one form of relationship is inherently more important or deeper than any other (relationship hierarchy)

The idea that any one thing makes someone human

The idea that not having sex is shameful or infantile

The idea that having sex without romantic love is callous

Gendered divides of sexual and romantic attraction

Other aspec people please feel free to add on/challenge any of this. Allo (not aspec) people please feel free to ask questions.

Additions:

Addition from @blkaroculture

Addition (in tags) from @fluffytimearts

Addition (in tags) from @cjreblogsthings

I've placed some resources for learning more about these topics under the cut.

Amatonormativity:

[PT: Amatonormativity:]

1. Amatonormativity Coining

2. Introduction to Amatonormativity

3. Challenging Amatonormativity

4. Effects of Amatonormativity and Compulsive Sexuality on Asexual and Aromantic College Students

5. Effects of Amatonormativity On Black, Polyamorous Men

6. Essay on Amatonormativity From a Aroallo, Loveless Perspective

Marriage Benefits:

[PT: Marriage Benefits:]

1. Article about Singlism and Marital Privilege

Other Aspec Identities:

[PT: Other Aspec Identities:]

1. Aplatonicism

2. Afamilialism

Loveless:

[PT: Loveless:]

1. Loveless articles on the AUREA website

2. Essay on Amatonormativity From a Aroallo, Loveless Perspective (repeat from Amatonormativity section)

3. Follow-up Essay on Lovelessness and Aroallo Antagonism

4. Results of a Survey of Loveless People (part 2 is linked instead of part 1 as part 1 is mostly demographic information)

5. Guide to Writing Loveless Characters (it focuses on fictional characters so should not be taken as a catch-all for real people, but it still has a ton of good information about lovelessness and loveless antagonism)

Compulsory Sexuality:

[PT: Compulsory Sexuality:]

1. Effects of Amatonormativity and Compulsive Sexuality on Asexual and Aromantic College Students (repeat from Amatonormativity section)

2. Breakdown of Compulsory Sexuality

Relationship Hierarchy vs Relationship Anarchy:

[PT: Relationship Hierarchy vs Relationship Anarchy:]

1. Relationship Anarchy Coining

2. Breakdown of Relationship Anarchy

3. Issues Presented by the Relationship Hierarchy

Oppression:

[PT: Oppression:]

1. Aphobia Masterpost

2. Asexual History and Oppression

3. Asexual Theory 101

Miscellaneous:

[PT: Miscellaneous:]

1. Research on Aromantics

2. Ace in the UK Research and Activism ft. Yasmin Benoit

3. Asexual History and Oppression (repeat from Oppression section)

4. Asexual Theory 101 (repeat from Oppression section)

Books and Video Essays:

[PT: Books and Video Essays:]

An Ace Discourse Retrospective by Jenny Geist

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown

[genderqueerdykes]

now that my post about breaking down one's idea of what a woman looks like has circulated for a while (thank you all), i'm now going to make this post, as i do not want people to derail that specific conversation, nor this one.

we also must break down our idea of what a man looks, acts, sounds, behaves, and presents like.

men are not cis, het, allosexual or highly sexual beings, tall, muscular, strong, hairy, deep voiced, broad chested/shouldered, emotionless, mean, aggressive, unemotional, uncaring, distant, cold, stoic, heartless, standoffish, bread winners, bad/absent fathers, macho, obligated to work despite disabilities, or obligated to be "the man of the house."

men are people. first and foremost.

men are allowed to express just like anyone else. men do not have to be pillars of their communities. no obligation. men are allowed to be disabled, tired, weak, emotional, caring, compassionate, asexual, aromantic, friendly, warm, in need of support, neurodivergent, mentally ill, chronically ill,and have personality disorders. men have their own struggles and we have to stop telling them to "suck it up" and "move on" and "pull yourself up by your boot straps".

we are forcing men to do this: this is a cage of our own design.

once we dismantle this idea of how a man "should" be, once more: we will move past radfeminism, patriarchy, trans/androphobia, and fostering a culture where this is an acceptable way to treat men. it's not. we must allow men to be diverse. we must allow men to be who they are on the inside

[maerhiya]

"if you're asexual then why do you keep making sex jokes?" oh i don't know... maybe because sex is a joke to me..?