#can all share emotions and anger and joy and thoughts and questions

[thelingering]

brain tired from Latin so have an appreciation post for humanity

[aeth-eris]

★ aries moon: burnt sienna feels like desert sands at dusk, rugged and warm, with a raw intensity that draws you in. it carries the energy of clay pots hardened in fire, bold and unbreakable, yet shaped by the hands that mold it. aries moons reflect this untamed aesthetic, their emotions erupting with the fierce vitality of something freshly forged. their love burns hot and immediate, like the glow of embers in the dark, and their anger is primal, quick to ignite but just as quick to cool. burnt sienna inspires action—a charge forward, unafraid of the scars that passion leaves.

★ taurus moon: rose gold is the quiet luxury of a soft-lit room, glowing with warmth and understated elegance. it’s the sheen of polished metal, the gentle curve of something crafted with care, timeless and grounding. taurus moons embody this aesthetic, their emotions wrapped in a soothing steadiness that feels like home. their love is rich and tangible, like velvet under fingertips or the scent of fresh roses. they crave beauty that endures, a life touched by comfort and stability. rose gold whispers of devotion that lingers, of love that doesn’t shout but instead holds you gently, unshaken by chaos.

★ gemini moon: periwinkle is the pastel buzz of ideas, soft and curious, flitting between lavender clouds and pale blue skies. it feels like delicate notebooks filled with sketches, like laughter drifting across a summer breeze. gemini moons embody this aesthetic, their emotions light and playful, shifting like watercolors blending on paper. their love is full of questions, their heart a kaleidoscope of wonder, always seeking new connections. periwinkle reminds us that emotions don’t need to be heavy to be meaningful—they can dance lightly, like petals falling from a tree, leaving beauty in their wake without needing to stay.

★ cancer moon: seafoam green feels like the pull of tides under a silver moon, gentle yet immense, quiet yet infinite. it’s the shimmer of waves against soft sand, the cool embrace of ocean foam lapping at your ankles. cancer moons carry this aesthetic in their hearts, their emotions vast and ever-shifting, like the sea in all its moods. their love is a haven, protective and nurturing, like driftwood washed ashore—a reminder of safety after the storm. seafoam green whispers of connection that runs deep, of feelings that ebb and flow but never truly leave, anchoring us in their rhythm.

★ leo moon: goldenrod is sunlight spilling through open windows, radiant and bold, filling every corner with life. it’s the brilliance of gilded frames and the warmth of golden hour, a color that exudes confidence and charm. leo moons wear this aesthetic in their emotions, their love bright and unapologetic, their joy contagious. they live for moments that shine, for affection that feels like applause, for connections that make their heart blaze like the sun. goldenrod is a reminder that love, when shared freely, becomes something luminous—a source of warmth and inspiration for everyone who stands in its light.

★ virgo moon: moss green is the quiet perfection of dew-laden leaves, soft and grounding, a color steeped in the serenity of nature. it’s the texture of moss between stones, the scent of earth after rain, unassuming but rich with life. virgo moons reflect this aesthetic in their emotions, careful and deliberate, tending to feelings like a gardener nurturing fragile blooms. their love is shown in small, thoughtful acts, steady as ivy climbing a wall. moss green teaches us that growth is often quiet, that strength can be soft, and that emotions, like the earth, are most powerful when rooted deeply.

★ libra moon: blush pink feels like the soft sweep of a silk scarf, delicate and refined, with a grace that lingers. it’s the glow of twilight skies fading into pastel hues, the gentle charm of petals falling from a flower. libra moons embody this aesthetic, their emotions flowing like brushstrokes on a canvas, always seeking balance and beauty. their love feels effortless, a harmony that soothes and inspires. blush pink reminds us of the power in subtlety—how emotions can be tender yet transformative, quiet yet deeply felt. it’s the elegance of connection, the warmth of a heart longing for peace.

★ scorpio moon: black cherry is velvet cloaked in shadow, a rich and moody red that whispers of mystery. it’s the sheen of dark wine in a glass, the depth of candlelight flickering against crimson curtains. scorpio moons carry this aesthetic in their emotions, raw and intense, like secrets waiting to be revealed. their love is transformative, a force that pulls you into their depths, where passion and vulnerability intertwine. black cherry reminds us that beauty often lies in darkness, that the most profound emotions are found in the shadows. it’s a color that captivates, much like the scorpio moon’s soul.

★ sagittarius moon: amber glows like resin catching the light, warm and golden, infused with ancient energy. it’s the warmth of lanterns strung in the night, the firelight reflected in curious eyes. sagittarius moons embody this aesthetic, their emotions burning with a restless optimism, always seeking the next horizon. their love is expansive, radiating joy and laughter, their heart untethered and alive. amber teaches us that emotions don’t need to be confined—they are meant to be explored, celebrated, and shared. it’s a color of hope, of adventure, a reminder that the journey is as important as the destination.

★ capricorn moon: slate gray is the polished elegance of stone, cool and timeless, a color that stands unshaken. it’s the stillness of mountain peaks cloaked in mist, the quiet resilience of marble weathered by time. capricorn moons wear this aesthetic in their hearts, their emotions steady and reserved, their love enduring and practical. they don’t express feelings with grandeur but through actions that speak louder than words. slate gray reminds us that strength is often quiet, that emotions can be profound without being loud. it’s the beauty of constancy, the comfort of knowing some things remain solid and true.

★ aquarius moon: electric teal hums with energy, vivid and magnetic, a color that feels like it’s always on the verge of transformation. it’s the glow of neon lights against a dark cityscape, the shimmer of holograms that feel just out of reach. aquarius moons carry this aesthetic in their emotions, their feelings charged with creativity and innovation. their love is unconventional, valuing freedom and individuality, their heart sparking with ideas that change the world around them. electric teal reminds us that emotions can be futuristic, that they don’t need to fit into traditional molds to be meaningful and powerful.

★ pisces moon: lavender mist drifts like a dream, soft and ethereal, a color that feels like moonlight wrapped in haze. it’s the shimmer of starlight on still waters, the quiet magic of dawn breaking through the clouds. pisces moons embody this aesthetic, their emotions boundless and fluid, like waves dissolving into the horizon. their love is empathetic and transcendent, weaving itself into the hearts of others like a whispered melody. lavender mist teaches us that emotions don’t need to be fully understood to be beautiful. it’s the quiet wonder of feeling deeply, of connecting with something greater than ourselves.

★ book a reading ★ ★ masterlist 1 ★ ★ masterlist 2 ★

[revelboo]

I love every single one of your stories, Revel. I gotta say, though, there's something about spark bonding, your interpretation in particular, that really intrigues me. Like, now I'm curious to see a human discussing the whole thing with their bot(s), and just going wide eyed in horror/awe as realization dawns on them that the bots ability to bond their spark--basically their soul--to their chosen human and there be something there to bond to at all may well be empirical evidence for the existence of human souls.

I like spark bonding being visceral, unable to hide anything you’re so intertwined in your partner. Everything, the good and bad, your happiest moments and your most shameful right there and laid bare. With a partial bond, you’re catching glimpses, flashes of memories or thoughts, but with a full bond, the walls come down and it’s all shared whether you want it to be or not, trusting yourself completely to your partner.

With bots it’s a euphoric feeling to tangle two sparks, or with a human, a spark and soul. I can see some bots preferring spark play to actual interfacing, because it’s so much more intimate. And I wanted the final say to be up to the human, they have to accept their Cybertronian completely to fully bond. With some pairs that might happen quickly or could take years to establish the trust necessary to fully bond.

Bonding

Bumblebee x Reader

• Feels your mouth open against his with a shaky moan and his palm splays against your spine to keep you against him. Your leg sliding against his as his helm brushes your forehead. Feeling your fingers catch at the edge of his plating, flirting with his exposed spark. But that’s all distant as he twines about the warmth of you tangled in his spark. Chasing after you as you arrow through him. Every time he brushes against you, bits of you, memories and emotions soak into him. Little flashes of who you are and he wants more, want to know all of you. Needs everything you are.

• Darting through him as he chases you, there’s a weird disconnect. This is you stripped down to your truest self, but the real, physical you is moving restlessly against him, trembling with pleasure at the feel of being tangled in him. So much more intimate than sex that it’s almost overwhelming. And his warmth engulfs you, bits of him spilling into you when it becomes hard to tell where you begin and he ends. Feeling a question there, a coaxing and you ignore it to dive into a memory. Chasing after an echo of Bee from the past, breathless at the glittering alien city around you. Home. Cybertron. Know it from his memories even though you’ve never been here. Long for it because he does.

• Chasing after the warmth and light of you, needing you, he spins into you, wrapping you in him. Asking, pleading for you to give in. To trust him. Feels your body tremble against his and his servos flex against you. Don’t you understand how much he loves you? That he’s loved you for a long time now? Wants to claim all of you, tangle so deeply in you that you can’t be separated. Your mouth brushes his and your light hums through his. And you surrender. The shock of it delicious, his body arching against yours. Nearly overloading from the feel of you.

• Whimpering against him as something shifts. And he’s pouring into you. Aware of him to the point it feels like drowning as he holds your body, holds your light. And you’re crying. Because you see all of him, know he sees all of you. The awful pettiness, the anger, the joy, and sorrow. It’s all his now. Just like all of him is yours. Feel his lips brush your cheek as you sob and he finally lets go. Shifts his plating to hide his spark away and you immediately miss that connection, that feeling of being seen and known. You’re aching for it, loss of the connection hurting.

• Curling himself more firmly around you, he feels you press your damp face against the mesh of his neck and you’re trembling as badly as he is. Didn’t realize fully bonding would be like that, so intense. Humbling. Hand cupping the back of your head, he can feel your heart beating against him. His. You’re his, like he’s yours now. Forever. “I’ve got you,” he murmurs, venting to pull you deep as you curl even tighter against him.

[uramakimochi]

Could I request an ASL headcanons of them trying to make their fem s/o smile? A short summary is that their s/o had trauma and is now incapable of showing any emotions, nor they could smile now. I like to imagine that Luffy made it his life goal to atleast see her smile at him for once but can you also add Ace and Sabo?

Absolutely~ I'm sorry but i personally don't like headcanons so i wrote three scenarios, i hope it's still okay🙏

One Piece Scenario:

WHEN THEY TRY TO MAKE THEIR S/O SMILE

- Luffy Ace and Sabo x Reader -

Warnings: FEM!R, use of Y/n, fluff + angst, implied trauma but nothing is described, you can imagine whatever you want. Sabo's story is long, (they're all long but his one is longer) i'm sorry, hope it doesn't bore you.

English is not my first language so feel free to correct me.

LUFFY (feat. the Strawhat crew)

Luffy had asked you to join his crew because he had immediately seen the potential you kept hidden, even if he didn't even know you. Your meeting was totally coincidental, but we know what Luffy is like, don't we? Once he makes a decision, there is no going back.

So you had abandoned everything to join the straw hats, because honestly, you believed that now, after what you had experienced, you had nothing left to lose. Although some members of the crew weren't totally convinced of you at the beginning, like Nami and Zoro, in a short time you managed to get used to it and all your new companions accepted you into their family without problems.

But there was one detail that hadn't escaped any of them and that was that you had never shown them your emotions. The only ones you expressed were the negative ones, like anger and sadness, but NEVER had the Strawhats seen you smile.

It was as if it were impossible for you to do so, as if your lips had been paralyzed in the same position for years, never curling upwards and never showing your teeth. You always tried to express your gratitude towards your crewmates with words, but by now you knew that you no longer had the ability to feel the joy that had been deprived of you in the past.

And although your friends had understood and accepted it, although some like Robin, Nami and Chopper had tried to take you aside and talk to you, but in vain, there was still one person who still hadn't lost heart.

Luffy still didn't understand why he never saw you smile when Zoro and Sanji were arguing like children, when Usopp and Chopper were whining in fear over something stupid or when Nami punched Brook because he wanted to see her panties. It was impossible! Smiling and being happy was something that came naturally, so why couldn't you do it?

And that was exactly what he asked you in person.

"Y/n, why do you never smile?" he asked you one day, catching you off guard.

Before you could even answer him, someone punched him in the head.

SBONK!

"DOES THIS SEEM TO BE A QUESTION TO ASK?!" Sanji and Nami's voices chorused behind him.

"Oww..." Luffy moaned in pain. "But what did i do?"

The two dragged him away, into the kitchen, under your confused eyes.

And after they had given him a long lecture about how he had the touch of an elephant in a glass shop, they then explained to him how things were. Luffy understood, but at the same time he still didn't.

"But it's unfair! How can she not feel happiness? It's impossible!"

"Luffy..." Nami sighed. "We understand that you are worried about her, in fact we all are, but this is something that should be taken with caution. It was what Y/n went through in the past that made her like this"

"We would all love to see a smile on sweet Y/n's face, but i don't think that will happen anytime soon" Sanji said, then took a drag of his cigarette sadly.

It was at that moment that Luffy automatically gave himself a personal mission and that was to make you happy again. Because he thought it was unfair that you couldn't feel the emotions everyone else felt, you didn't deserve this.

He loved you more than anything and just wanted to share his joy with you.

-

"Hey Y/n!" Luffy called to you waving a hand and you closed the book you were reading to pay attention to him.

Your captain gave you a huge smile, which you didn't return, but he didn't give up.

"Look what i can do!"

He squeezed his nose between two fingers and then pulled it forward, making it lengthen a few centimeters and he did the same with his ears and lips. Then he began to tie his rubbery skin as if it were a bow, only it all came out as just a funny face or a messy bow.

"Ta-da!"

You looked at him in silence for a few seconds, blinking, while Robin who was nearby smiled amusedly.

"It's funny, Luffy" you then said, reopening your book.

"Really??" Luffy asked you, his voice muffled by the knot he had created with his nose.

You nodded.

"Really. You're very funny"

Luffy smiled, satisfied with his work. He knew your tone wasn't ironic, you weren't making fun of him. You really appreciated his childish gestures and even though you thought you would've never been able to feel happiness again, being with Luffy lightened your heart and made you feel good.

And Luffy took your monotonous words as a gesture of encouragement to keep going. He would have made it, he absolutely HAD to make it.

-

"And then i stuffed all the food in my mouth and ran away. There was Smoker chasing me and Ace was chasing Smoker! Only i didn't realize that when i entered the inn, i had pushed them both into the wall. I was too hungry, i couldn't take it anymore!" Luffy started laughing, throwing his head back and you looked at him.

"You're such a careless Luffy" you told him. "You risk getting into some serious trouble if you're not careful"

"Shishishi! But it's a funny story, isn't it? It's a shame you weren't there. Alabasta was beautiful, but it was too hot"

Luffy started laughing again, while you went back to watching the sun set on the horizon, from sitting on the figurehead of the Sunny.

Yes, it was a funny story and you weren't too surprised by Luffy's reckless behavior and how he talked as if there was nothing to worry about. It was fun.

-

Time passed and Luffy never gave up.

None of the crew told him that perhaps it was better to end it, that it wasn't worth it anymore, that it was useless. No, Luffy would've never stopped. He was stubborn and that was what you and the others admired about him as your captain.

And then, if for them it seemed that there was no progress, Luffy instead was convinced that he had seen your lips lift one day. Even though it was very small, almost imperceptible, Luffy was firmly convinced that it was a hint of a smile. It meant that he wasn't far away, he was sure of it!

So Luffy continued in his quest: he told you the adventures of him and his brothers when they were little, of what had happened before you joined the crew, he told you jokes to try to make you smile and some weren't even funny, but you didn't care. You always listened to him and you always would have.

And the more Luffy kept trying to make you smile, the more it seemed to him that your lips always curved up a little more as time went by.

-

Then one day, while it was raining outside, Sanji called you all into the kitchen for dinner time and while you were in the bathroom washing yourself, Robin came to tell you that it was ready on the table.

When you reached everyone else and opened the door, the mass of voices of your crewmates drowned you out at once.

"You insolent idiot, don't you dare eat, everyone isn't at the table yet!" Sanji exclaimed, turning to Luffy and taking the plate away from him.

"But i'm hungry! I'm hungry Sanji! I'm hungry!" the other complained, slamming the cutlery on the table.

Nami gritted her teeth, annoyed by his complaints.

"Stop whining or i'll punch you!"

Meanwhile, Chopper and Usopp were arguing next to each other.

"Hey! Why are you stealing food from my plate?!" exclaimed the reindeer.

"No no, you're very wrong" the sniper waved a hand, whistling innocently. "I did not do anything!"

Chopper lunged at Usopp and he started screaming, trying to get him off him. Next to them, Zoro took a sip of sake, looking at them boredly.

"Yes you did! I just saw you do it, don't lie!"

"Lies? I never tell lies!"

"Hey you two, stop arguing. How annoying..."

From the other end of the table, Franky smirked amusedly.

"It's like a circus here eheh"

"Yohohoho~" Brook laughed. "If you want, i can play something to brighten up the evening"

Robin watched the scene, covering her smile with one hand.

Your eyes passed over each of your crewmates and it was in that moment, when your gaze locked on Luffy's pouting figure, that you realized that they weren't just your crewmates. They were your family.

And then, suddenly someone started laughing and in a few seconds everyone fell silent, focusing on the sound of that laughter. Everyone turned to look at you when they noticed your presence and their eyes widened as they realized that the one who was laughing out loud was you.

Luffy felt a huge smile spread across his face when he saw you. It had finally happened, you were actually laughing. Oh, and how genuine that laugh was, you could clearly hear it was a laugh that hadn't been heard in too long.

"Y/n!" Luffy exclaimed, then stretched out his arms and catapulted in front of you. But his smile fell when he saw the tears that were spilling out of your eyes and sliding down your cheeks.

"Y/n…"

Luffy tilted his head in confusion, because even though you were crying you were still laughing like there was no tomorrow.

"Y-Yes, Luffy?" You sniffed and opened your eyes to look at him, feeling his palm on your cheek trying to wipe away the tears.

"Why are you crying?" he asked you.

You shook your head, your laughter growing weaker and weaker. The tears continued to flow, but your lips remained curved upwards in a trembling smile.

"S-Sorry it’s just that…" you raised a hand to cover his on your face. "These are tears of joy, Luffy"

"Huh? Joy? So..." Luffy's eyes widened again when he realized. "Wait, so you're happy now??"

You nodded, squeezing his fingers.

"I am. And it's all thanks to you. And everyone else too. Because when i'm with our crew i can forget everything that happened. And you Luffy, you never gave up. Thanks to you i found every day the strength to move forward. Thank you for everything you have done for me. Thank you all, guys"

Behind Luffy, Franky, Usopp and Chopper were crying tears of emotion, while everyone else gave you happy smiles.

"I'm so happy to see you smile Y/n!" Luffy exclaimed, closing his eyes. "Everyone deserves to be happy, it wasn't fair that all of us were happy except you"

You looked at him tenderly with your heart pounding in your chest. You hadn't felt this way in too long. It was so beautiful.

Then Luffy removed his hand from your cheek.

"Look!"

He pinched his cheeks with his fingers and pulled them, stretching his face into various shapes.

"Ta-da!"

And this time you started laughing again, while more tears continued to come out of your eyes and Luffy started laughing too, hearing your laughter mixed with sobs. Luffy knew in that moment that his mission was accomplished.

And outside, in the sky, the rain stopped, as the sun began to set.

ACE (feat. the Whitebeard Pirates)

You were part of Whitebeard's crew even before Ace joined. Whitebeard had invited you to join knowing the weight of your past that you carried on your shoulders and you had accepted. From the first moment you considered Whitebeard as the father you never had and all the commanders had welcomed you into the crew as if you were their younger sister.

They were your new family and you loved each of them and you tried in every way to demonstrate the immense gratitude you felt for them. But you couldn't.

The ghosts of the past tormented you day and night and you had lost the ability to feel happiness. It seemed impossible to you and yet it had happened. But that didn't make your brothers and father love you any less, on the contrary, they had become very protective of you because of that. The only one after your father who you were closest to ever was Marco, who had taken you under his wing (no pun intended) from day one.

And when Ace joined the crew he asked him about you.

"Oi. Is that Y/n like, depressed or something?"

Let's remember that initially Ace didn't want to be part of Whitebeard's crew and was quite grumpy. So the way he said that question didn't please the phoenix man at all.

"If you talk about her like that again i swear i'll throw you into the sea in your sleep" he told him threateningly.

When things calmed down between Ace and Whitebeard, the former found the courage to ask the captain what happened to you. And this time he did it more delicately.

So Whitebeard explained the situation to him and Ace understood why all the commanders were particularly touchy when it came to you.

"We've tried for a long time, but it was all in vain" Whitebeard sighed. "We have never seen that girl smile. We have seen her cry with sadness, scream with anger and paralyze with fear. But we have never seen the shadow of a smile on that beautiful, pure and innocent face of hers. But we have accepted her for what she is. And we will never abandon her because of this"

Ace retreated to his quarters with his head in the clouds.

He had interacted with you often, but he didn't believe that a person like you would hide such a tormented past. But Ace had grown fond of you and therefore decided that to make up for how he had behaved during the period of his arrival, he would've made you relive your happiness.

He would have done it for you, for Whitebeard and for your brothers.

-

"Good morning Y/n"

You lifted your head from your plate to greet Ace, who had just joined you for breakfast.

"Good morning Ace. Did you sleep well?"

"Like an angel. What about you?"

"Good enough"

Ace chewed a piece of bread.

"You know" he said. "Today is a beautiful day and the sun is shining. If only i hadn't eaten a devil fruit i would go for a swim"

You frowned at him, not understanding what he was getting at. Then he swallowed the bite and looked at you with a smirk.

"But i'm already drowning in your eyes anyway~"

The dining room fell silent and everyone in the room turned to look at him. Marco and Izo, who were sitting on either side of you, opened their eyes and mouths wide. A little further away, Thatch and Whitebeard smirked in amusement.

"You did NOT just say that in front of me..." Izo muttered with a disgusted expression.

Ace blushed like a tomato and to avoid Marco's murderous gaze he moved his eyes to you, to see your reaction. You blinked at him and then quickly lowered your head to your bowl, starting to eat again.

"It was a little embarrassing, don't you think?" you asked, squeezing a hand nervously under the table.

"B-But it was funny, wasn't it?" Ace asked.

And you nodded silently, making him smile. It was a small step, wasn't it?

Marco turned to Whitebeard.

"Pops!"

But Whitebeard just laughed from his chair.

"Gurarara, nothing happened Marco. It's just a joke"

-

For a while Ace continued with the pickup lines, since he was sure that on the inside you found them funny and even if he liked seeing your embarrassed look and your red cheeks, your lips never showed the slightest hint of a smile. So he tried to change his strategy.

-

"What are those two doing?" Marco muttered, observing you and Ace on the deck of the ship.

"More like what are you doing" Thatch retorted, hands on hips. "Are you spying on them?"

"Ace is acting strange. I don't understand what he wants to do with Y/n" the blond retorted, narrowing his eyes at Ace.

Thatch came to his side.

"He's just trying to do what we did too. Pops told me"

Marco pursed his lips.

"Don't you think he will make her suffer more than she already is?"

Thatch shook his head with a smile.

"Nah. Ace cares about her, you know? In fact, he's obsessed with her. And so is she"

Then Thatch placed a hand on Marco's shoulder.

"Give him a chance. Pops trusts him. And then..." he said, pointing at your figures with a finger. "I don't think she's sad at all right now"

Marco realized how at that moment, your eyes were wide open and fixed on the fiery figures that Ace was creating in the sky with his powers. They shone in wonder at the sight that lit up the night sky above the Moby Dick.

And while your gaze was pointed upwards, Ace's was fixed on your face, which was making him fall in love more and more.

-

"Ace!"

Ace could hear your voice calling out to him. But it was muffled and so far away.

"Please hold on! Stay with us! Ace!"

Ace didn't understand. What the hell was going on? Why couldn't he see anything? Where were you? Was he dying? No, he absolutely couldn't allow that. After everything he was doing to fulfill his mission, he couldn't afford to leave you for something stupid like that.

After seconds that seemed endless, Ace found the strength to open his eyes. He wanted to move, but as soon as he tried to, a bolt of pain shot through his chest and he hissed in pain.

"Stay still"

Ace's eyes fell on the figure of Marco, who was walking around the room. Ace looked around and realized he was on a bed in the Moby Dick infirmary.

"Do you remember what happened?" the blond asked him, looking at him from behind his glasses.

Ace nodded, remembering everything. One minute he and everyone else were fighting and the next someone had hit him from behind. Then he remembered your voice, calling him desperately.

Ace looked down at his chest, which was bandaged and then noticed the figure who was sleeping with her head resting on her arms, which in turn were crossed on the mattress, next to his body. Ace felt his heart start beating again when he saw your hand holding his in his sleep, warming it with your warmth.

"You gave us a scare, especially to her" Marco murmured, trying not to wake you. "She's been here the whole time"

Marco approached the bed and placed a blanket over your shoulders, before gently rubbing your back.

"I'm relieved you're okay" the blond then said.

"I thought you hated me" Ace retorted.

Marco shrugged.

"We know what you're doing for her. And we're all grateful. And i'm sure she is, too. Even though it may not seem like it"

Ace opened his eyes slightly, surprised by his words.

"Do you really believe that?"

Marco nodded.

"If you keep doing this, i know you will succeed where we failed. Now rest, you need it"

Ace didn't have to be told twice and closed his eyes, abandoning himself to the presence of your touch.

-

When Ace reopened his eyes, he saw your face again and the blinding daylight coming through the infirmary windows.

"Ace!"

He didn't even have time to realize it, that you threw yourself onto his body, hugging his neck with all your strength.

"Thank goodness you're okay!"

Ace smiled and placed a hand on your back, but couldn't stop himself from making the noise of pain that the wound on his chest was causing him.

"Oh shoot, i'm sorry!" you exclaimed, immediately pulling away from him. "I didn't mean to hurt you"

Ace waved a hand.

"It's no problem, don't worry. Are you okay?"

You looked at him with teary eyes.

"Oh Ace…" you murmured. "After everything that happened to you, how can you still worry about me?"

"Well, are you sure you're not tired?" he asked you again.

And before you could respond he continued.

"Because you've been running through my mind all day~" he said with a smirk, accompanied by a wink.

You looked at him silently, eyes wide. That's when Ace saw you lower your head, covering your face with your hair. And then, after a few seconds, he saw your shoulders move in small spasms.

Ace widened his eyes, thinking you were crying and reached out to you.

"Y/n, i'm sorry-"

When his fingers brushed your shoulder, you raised your head to look at him. And to his shock, Ace realized that you were actually giggling.

"D-Does this feel like the time to say your stupid jokes?" You murmured, as if trying to hold back the laughter that was slowly escaping your lips.

Ace noticed a couple of tears coming out of your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away with your hands. He smiled and remembering the first time he told you one of his pickup lines, he said...

"But it was funny, wasn't it?"

You nodded, still giggling and covered your mouth with your hand. Ace looked at you tenderly, as he felt his heart warm with each passing second.

"You have a beautiful laugh, you know?" he asked you.

You looked at him, managing to stop laughing for a few seconds, while Ace continued.

"I'm glad i was able to make you smile. Pops and the others wanted it so much. And i wanted it too"

You reached out to his hand, stroking the back of it with your thumb, then brought his palm to cover your cheek.

"I thought i lost you Ace. And seeing that you're okay makes me happy. More than anything"

You looked at each other with sweet smiles and Ace could see in your eyes all the affection you felt for him. So he gathered courage and leaned forward until your lips touched softly. After a few seconds he pulled away.

"Well, if i had known that just ending up in a hospital bed was enough to make you happy, i would have done it a lot sooner"

At those words you couldn't help but burst out laughing, quickly covering your face with your hands.

"D-Don't say that!" you said mortified. "You make me look like a bad person!"

And Ace chuckled back, joining you.

At that moment, unbeknownst to you, certain commanders of a certain emperor's fleet and that emperor himself were gathering outside the infirmary door, trying not to be heard. And when they heard the sweet sound of your laughter for the first time, they felt their eyes become shiny.

"She's laughing!" Vista murmured. "Our darling little sister is laughing with joy!"

"Oh, i'm so happy!" continued Blamenco.

Whitebeard sniffed, but refrained from crying, unlike his sons, and he glanced at Marco, who was rubbing his eyes from behind his glasses, biting his lower lip.

Ace's voice rang out in the infirmary again.

"I'd offer you a cigarette but you're already smokin' hot~"

"Ace!" you called out to him between laughs, feeling your cheeks heat up under your palms.

He too continued to laugh and then he grimaced in pain, putting a hand to his chest.

"Thank you Ace"

Was what Whitebeard thought, looking back at you and Ace with a tender gaze.

"You saved her"

SABO (feat. the Revolutionary Army)

With Sabo i imagine a scenario that is similar to Senor Pink's backstory. (From Dressrosa arc but there are no spoilers)

You were both part of the Revolutionary Army, but you didn't always were together in missions. Sabo was sorry about this, especially because he was quite protective of you and despite being aware of your fighting skills, he was always afraid for you.

That day was a day like many others, where you and Sabo had said goodbye to each other by exchanging a kiss, you on his cheek and him on your forehead, and then wishing each other good luck, separating and going on your missions.

Sabo and Koala returned after a month and they both couldn't wait to see you and have a chat about the adventures you had. But when the two entered the headquarters, they did not expect the silence that reigned inside the room to welcome them. Usually when someone from the army returned from a mission after a long time, there was a celebration and when it came to Sabo and Koala you were the first to run to greet them.

Not surprisingly, Sabo immediately noticed your absence, but initially didn't give it too much thought, thinking that you were just busy with Dragon.

"Sabo"

Sabo lifted his head, meeting Ivan's gaze and when he noticed his less than happy tone and worried look, it didn't take him long to connect the dots.

Koala flashed him a smile.

"Hi Ivan-"

"Where is Y/n?" Sabo interrupted, taking a step forward.

Ivankov sighed, knowing there was no point beating around the bush with Sabo.

"In the infirmary" he only said.

Sabo passed him without waiting for him and Koala, heading towards the infirmary at full speed.

When he entered, throwing open the doors with force, he expected to find all kinds of dark scenarios, like you with a body full of bandages, you bleeding, or worse...

But he didn't expect to see your body under the covers of the infirmary bed, lying on its side in a fetal position, with your back facing him. Sabo wasted no time and ran in front of you, immediately taking your hand in his.

"Y/n!"

You opened your eyes when you heard his voice and Sabo immediately noticed how your eyes seemed emptier since the last time he saw you.

"Sabo... You're back"

Sabo looked at you worriedly, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb.

"What happened??" he asked frantically, looking from your eyes to the band-aid on your cheek.

But you just bit your lower lip, not having the strength to answer him and after your eyes filled with tears, you started crying in front of his eyes. Sabo looked at you, his heart breaking more and more with every tear he saw and every sob he heard.

"Y/n… Hey…" he murmured, placing his other hand on your cheek. He tried to comfort you in every way possible, but to no avail.

Then, Ivankov's voice called him again.

"Sabo"

Slowly Sabo raised his head towards the infirmary door and saw Dragon's figure in the doorway, next to Ivan's. Then, behind him, Koala reached him and after placing a hand on his shoulder she gave him a smile.

"I'll stay with her" said the girl.

Sabo gave you one last look, hoping he could look you in the eyes one more time, but you were too busy crying and you were even trying to hide your face under the bed sheet.

He quickly stood up, whispering a "I'll be right back" to you, then joined Ivan and Dragon. After the three exited the infirmary, they went to Dragon's office to talk in private and as soon as the door closed behind them, Sabo began to speak.

"What happened in that mission?? Who the hell made her like that?!"

"Sabo-"

"Tell me Ivan!" the blond interrupted abruptly, clenching his fists at his sides.

But Dragon and Ivan didn't take offense at his angry tone, because they knew him and they knew that when it came to you or his brothers, Sabo could lose his temper in seconds.

"They caught us off guard" Ivan said calmly, but still sadly. "Everything was going as planned, but someone probably discovered our plan and managed to get ahead of us. And Y/n..."

Ivan continued to talk and the more he went on, the more it didn't seem true to Sabo. Why did what happened have to happen to you? What did you do wrong?

"There's a bigger problem" Dragon then interjected, catching Sabo's attention. "What she suffered put her into a sort of depressive state. It's as if she's costantly tired and none of us were able to get her out of bed of her own free will"

"We can only get her to move to go to the bathroom..." Ivan continued. "For the rest she has always remained in bed and eats very little"

Sabo remained silent, shocked.

"I'm sorry Sabo" Ivan concluded then, lowering his head, feeling humiliated under the blond's gaze. "Y/n is suffering because of me, because i failed to protect her. If you're angry with me i understand, i-"

"Ivan"

Ivankov looked back at Sabo with teary eyes when he heard him call him.

"Yes?" he asked, sniffling.

"It's not your fault and i'm not angry with you, really" the other said calmly, trying to smile, although he couldn't. "I'm sure you all did your best"

Sabo turned his back to him and lowering his head, he clenched his fists at his sides again. The more he thought about what they had told him, about what you had suffered, without him, the more he felt his heart burning with anger inside his chest.

"But please, tell me..." he said, gritting his teeth. "Tell me that at least those bastards got what they deserved. Tell me you didn't let them get away with it. I need to know this, Ivankov"

Ivan nodded solemnly.

"We took care of it, i promise Sabo"

"Good"

After asking for permission to leave, Sabo left and obviously returned to the infirmary, to make up for all the time he had lost without you.

-

And even though he believed that Ivan and Dragon's words were exaggerated and didn't want to believe them, unfortunately Sabo realized that they were true about you.

After he left on his mission he just couldn't wait to get back to you and spend time with you, doing everything he could to make you happy. But despite him coming to keep you company in the infirmary every single day, Sabo still hadn't seen the slightest shadow of your beloved smile on your face. And he missed that so much.

Not to mention what happened in the infirmary: Sabo tried to interact with you in every way possible, but aside from the day he and Koala returned, it was like you didn't even notice he was there. He spent all his time holding your hand, caressing you, kissing you and telling you little stories to entertain the time. But he never had a full reaction, other than simple words or noises of approval and disapproval. You laid on the bed in the same position for hours and hours, just staring out of the window.

The more time passed, the more Sabo didn't know what to do. Koala tried to stay close to him, talk to him and give him some advice, like taking some time to take care of himself too, because staying in that state wasn't good for him or you.

"No!" he told her with determination. "I'm not going to lose Y/n like this. It's not fair at all. I won't give up Koala, i won't give up until i have the same Y/n as before. I won't give up until i see her smiling again like she used to!"

-

Sabo started with the flowers.

Every week, on the advice of Koala, Betty and Ivankov, he brought you bouquets of all kinds of flowers, always decorated with colored bows and small love notes. Now don't get it wrong, Sabo was a gentleman and he often gave you flowers even before, which you always kept in your bedroom. He hoped that by doing this, maybe he could rekindle that little flame inside your heart that fueled your love.

"Hey, good morning" Sabo carefully entered the room, hoping he hadn't disturbed you and approached your bed.

"I ordered these flowers especially for you, they come from far away" he said, sitting on the chair next to the bed. "They are rare, but they have a very particular scent and i thought you'd like them. Come on, smell them"

He handed you the bouquet of flowers, bringing it closer to your face, making sure you could smell it. After a few seconds he pulled away.

"They smell good, don't they?" he asked you with a hopeful smile.

Sabo saw your head move just a few inches, nodding.

"Mh" you hummed under your breath.

But Sabo didn't give up.

"I knew you would've liked them" he said. "The world is full of flowers you haven't seen yet, but i know you would love them all"

This time you remained silent, with your gaze regularly fixed out the window.

Sabo let out a heartbroken huff through his nose and placed the bouquet of flowers on the cabinet next to the bed. Then he leaned forward and clasped your cold hand in both of his, warming it with his gloves. He quickly glanced at all the flowers that were slowly accumulating on one of the empty beds in the infirmary. Then he looked back at you, hoping that your eyes would move to meet his, even if just for a split second. But it didn't happen.

-

Sabo continued with the flowers, but then he realized that there was something else you loved. Books.

Thanks to him you had rediscovered the pleasure of reading and when you spent time together, you often spent it reading with him. Sometimes you remained in the same room in silence for hours and hours, each reading a book on your own, and then commenting it. Other times, one of you would read pages to the other and vice versa, activity you often did before going to sleep. The books had become your thing.

So Sabo also began to bring a book along with the flowers. And since you didn't have the energy to sit and read with him, he spent his time reading aloud, sitting next to your bed.

He spent time reading you chapter after chapter and sometimes he even changed the tone of his voice when there was a dialogue between the characters, like when you read a fairy tale to a child. He had never done this, but he hoped that by doing it maybe you would've laughed or smiled at the way he was making a fool of himself. But nothing from you.

Until one day, Sabo entered the infirmary, greeted you with a kiss on your hair, placed the flowers on the bedside table, sat down and opened the new book he had started reading to you, like he did every day.

But this time, before he could read the first word of the chapter aloud, a hand on his knee made him slightly jump.

"Sabo" Sabo's eyes widened when he heard you say his name.

"Y-Yes?? What's wrong Y/n? Tell me everything" he said frantically, hoping he hadn't imagined it.

Suddenly you began to move on the bed and slowly sat up.

"Could you... Could you sit next to me while you read?" you asked him, your voice hoarse.

Sabo felt as if his heart had started beating again. Despite the monotone tone in which you asked him that question and your facial expression that seemed paralyzed, he knew that this only meant he was making progress.

Sabo nodded frantically, unable to hold back the smile forming on his lips. You moved away along the mattress, making room for him and he wasted no time in climbing up and sitting next to your body. Once he had settled into the most suitable position he glanced at you.

He stood stiff as a board at your silence. Your bodies were touching, yes, but at the same time it was as if they weren't. Maybe you regretted asking him? Maybe you felt uncomfortable? He decided it was best to start reading, so he cleared his throat and continued where he was about to start earlier.

Then, a few minutes later, in the middle of the narration, Sabo felt something soft touch his arm and something else rest against his shoulder. He jumped once more, stopping and turning to face you. And he realized that after so long, he could finally feel the warmth of your hand resting on his arm and the softness of your hair covering his shoulder, with your head on top of it. Oh, how he had missed that feeling.

Even though he suddenly fell silent, you didn't say anything either. You remained staring at the pages of the book, waiting for him to start again. And with a smile, that's what Sabo did.

-

Then one day Sabo had an idea. He wasn't sure about it, but he might as well try, right?

He entered the room and saw you sitting, with your back resting on the pillow. He reached you and if before he usually sat in the chair next to the bed, this time he sat next to your body on the edge of the mattress and took your hand. He flashed you a smile, but you didn't notice, too busy staring out the window, the only thing you did while he was gone.

Sabo continued to caress the back of your hand, then he turned to look out the window as well.

"Today is a beautiful day, isn't it?"

"Yes it is" you replied calmly.

He slowly looked back at you.

"How... How about we go out for a walk?" he asked you slowly, fearing for your reaction.

Silence fell, but after a few seconds you turned to him and then nodded without saying anything. Sabo smiled at you and stood up, before offering you his gloved hand, which you slowly took.

He helped you to your feet and as soon as you were next to him, you wrapped your arm around his, resting your cheek against his shoulder. That gesture caught him off guard, but he recovered quickly and together you walked out of the infirmary.

The people of the army looked at you in amazement, but they refrained from commenting, even though they would have been positive comments, happy that you were improving thanks to Sabo. Sitting at a table, Ivankov opened his eyes wide with a gasp when he saw you. While Koala, next to him, smiled happily. But Sabo ignored everyone and led you out of the headquarters, even away from the new recruits who were training with Hack and Kuma.

So you spent the day walking slowly under the blue sky, arm in arm. And you did the same the following days, when the warm presence of the sun allowed you to go outside.

Usually you walked in silence, enjoying the atmosphere and the sounds of nature, but the only one of the two who every now and then said something to break the ice was Sabo, when, after pointing out a cloud in the sky, he invented its shape. And you agreed with him, even if it actually wasn't like that.

Other times, when there was a breeze that made goosebumps on your arms, Sabo wasted no time and took off his jacket, placing it on your shoulders and making sure you were well covered. You thanked him every time and even though he would have loved to see your smile, he knew that you were still grateful for his kind gestures.

Or he would start telling some stories about his brothers, about his missions with Koala or he would make you remember your dates and the good moments you had spent together and which he would've always kept in his heart. And reluctantly, you replied saying that you missed the person you used to be too.

-

Once your walks were over, you often became too tired to do anything else and Sabo would take you back to bed.

One evening, when darkness had fallen, Sabo gently placed your body on the infirmary bed, then covered it with the sheets. Usually he would read you a few pages of a book even before falling asleep, but since your eyes were already closed and you now seemed abandoned in the world of dreams, he decided to let you sleep.

He leaned in to kiss you on the forehead, bidding you goodnight in a whisper and when he turned to leave, you grabbed a piece of his clothes, making him stop in his tracks. Sabo turned to look at you, seeing you staring at him with eyes that were struggling to stay open.

"Stay… Please" you murmured, then moved away along the mattress, making room for him.

Sabo couldn't help but smile and he nodded.

"Of course, darling. Anything you want"

He took off his gloves, jacket and boots and settled under the covers, next to you. You wasted no time and snuggled into his body, resting your head on his chest. Sabo heard you let out a deep breath through your nose, as if you hadn't been waiting for anything but that.

He said nothing and closed his eyes, thinking he would've gone to sleep, but...

"Thank you, Sabo" he heard you say suddenly, in the middle of the silence.

Sabo lowered his head to look at you. Your eyes were still closed, but he knew you were still conscious enough to speak.

And then, in the dark of night, he finally saw it.

After all that time, Sabo saw your sweet, genuine smile slowly grow on your face, illuminated by the moon's rays.

Sabo continued to look at you in silence and couldn't stop his heartbeat, which was speeding up as the seconds passed. You could hear it clearly under your ear and continued to smile.

"I'm happy for everything you've done for me. You've brought joy back to my heart and i will be infinitely grateful to you for that" you said, clutching the clothes on his abdomen with one hand. "I couldn't have asked for a better person than you. I'm so happy to have you in my life. Thank you. I love you"

Sabo saw a couple of tears fall silently from your closed eyes and he felt his eyes becoming shiny too, but he managed to hold back. With one hand he ran his thumb gently under your eyes, wiping them of tears. He sniffed and flashed you a smile.

He had done it. After weeks and weeks of agony that he had tried so hard not to show you, he could finally feel his heart swell with joy and relief at the sight of your face that no longer reflected the pain you were feeling.

Sabo wrapped his arms around you and leaned in to give you another small series of kisses on the top of your head.

"I love you too" he murmured against your hair.

Then he closed his eyes, knowing he would've finally had a peaceful night with you by his side. And all he could think was only one thing: that he would've done anything to never make you lose your smile again.

///

[bored-storyteller]

Warning: slight angst, angst/comfort, blood mentions, Leona licks you, some may not like it so you are warned.

Author's note: It was supposed to come out on his birthday but that's okay, it's a reworking of something I've already written in the past.

Twisted Wonderland, Leona Kingscholar x Reader

Nightmare

Leona always thought that becoming king would be the greatest joy he could ever get in life. To be acclaimed by his people, loved, respected, seen for the wonder that he truly is. All his problems disappear before his merits, finally recognized.

You're proud of him, aren't you?

He looks at you next to him, he sees your smile. You know you will share his privileges with him.

You love him, you told him in many ways.

So why that sharp pain in his stomach, that death throb under his side?

You smile happily as you hold the bloody sword in your hands. His blood, dripping on the ground, on the royal robes, flowing amidst the laughter of jubilation at the deliverance from the dying king. Ruggie celebrates too, and Jack, and Epel, and even the brats of Heartslabyus cheer in victory. You didn't even bother using magic, just a sharp blade was enough.

His hand grips the wound in a vain attempt to survive.

But if he survives, what's he ever going to do with your hate on his shoulders?

Leona closes his eyes, and for a moment he asks for everything to end soon. But then he realizes from his gasp that it doesn't have the traits of death. The pain in his stomach is suddenly gone: he's awake.

He finds himself sitting between the sheets of his bed in the dark room.

All is calm, only the pale moon is watching him. His hand is wet yes, but only with the sweat of his torment.

It's just a nightmare, he tells himelf, and Leona Kingscholar is no longer a puppy afraid of nightmares. But even as he says it, his chest hurts, a primal dread scrapes the edges of his mind.

He feels so alone in that bed. It’s not the solitude that he claims, to which he is accustomed. It's a loneliness that asks him questions that he never wants to answer, it's a real loneliness, not the one he pretends to want.

Tomorrow everything will be easier with the sun, he thinks, yet he is downstairs outside his room.

He feels cold, his bare toes starting to bother him, but he's stronger than that.

His knocking on your door is insistent and arrogant, but effective.

When you open the door, a thousand emotions pass through your eyes: concern and confusion prevail.

He stands there like a grumpy tousled cat, cuddled up and nose wrinkled as your eyes alternate between him and the time on your phone's glowing screen.

“Leona…is it…quarter past three in the morning?”

“It seems.”

He sees you flutter tired eyelids: “What's going on? Did something catch fire? Is anyone sick? Hurt?”

Leona awake during the day is already a special event, but at night it is definitely a sign of misfortune.

But he snorts: “Nothing like that. Will you let me in?”

You smile at him, stepping aside: “Well, it's the practice, right?”

He doesn't moan or huff, he just walks past you looking for the first place he can sit down. Your expression saddens.

"Leona..." You call him softly, you kneel in front of him but his eyes escape you. His ears hang over his head and for some reason his general appearance of him brings you a melancholy that doesn't usually come from him. The boredom and pent-up anger that is usually your issues with him are dissolved into an existential sadness.

“What happens?” You investigate again, as gently as possible. What on earth could have hurt the prince so much as to reduce him like this? And what can you do, little creature, in front of something like that?

Leona remains immersed in silence for a period of time that you cannot quantify, but when his green eyes finally look at yours and you can hear his voice, there is no answer waiting for you: "Do you hate me?"

That question comes out to him in such a strange tone, feeble and wounded, that it scares even him. The big bad lion is not brave enough to face his inner monsters.

You're shocked, you almost think it's a joke, or you're dreaming, because such Leona is unthinkable.

“Do people hang out with those they hate at your home?” You ask with a hint of a smile that just wants to reassure him, even if you aren't sure either. Your hands slide over his, you take them meekly as if they were wet little birds: "Why on earth should I hate you, Leona?"

His mind suddenly comes up with more reasons than are actually real, and at the same time he seeks an answer within your gaze.

Then, suddenly, his eyebrows furrow in tension as he sights something that had gone unnoticed up to that moment.

“What did you do?” He asks as his thumb brushes the edges of what looks like a dry cut on your forehead near your left temple.

“What? What is it?” You ask confused at first, as your hand goes up to his.

“Oh, no, it's nothing!” Then you laugh, relaxing “A small accident during the alchemy lesson a few days ago. Nothing serious."

A few days ago. Nothing serious.

He hadn't noticed. Even though you'd been around him most of the time, he hadn't noticed at all. You had been hurt and he hadn't noticed.

He must have let you down, and he feels humiliated. Someone looked after you so well that you didn't even feel the need to tell him – or maybe he didn't listen to you?

He bites his lower lip in an unconscious punishment, while he feels his swollen heart become heavier in the new awareness of being useless to you.

“Come here.”

His dragging you into his lap feels rough, but you sense that something has changed in him, something that had remained unknown until then.

“Leona?” You call him quietly, but he silences you with a soft whisper. You're not sure what his behavior responds to, whether it's a puppy's need for affection, the care of a lover or a primordial protective instinct that resides in the animal part of him.

His tongue slowly caresses your wound with mechanical and slow movements. They are of no use now, yet they speak of his need to have you near, to be worthy of having you.

It's a prayer for forgiveness he'll never say in words, but what's the need for words?

Your palms rest patiently on his shoulders, and his hand gently holds the opposite side of your face as he continues that primal ritual.

How many hidden sides does your magical prince have?

“You should do this more often.” You tell him, while you hug more to his chest.

“Don't get your hopes up.” He answers you, but in the meantime he feels your body abandoned in his hands, all your need to receive the love of your loved one.

Your hand rests on his neck, caresses him, then goes up his cheek, up to his sensitive ear. Leona meekly bows his head to let himself be cuddled. For once, in the middle of the night, with you, he can afford it.

You still love him, it's a relief. A relief that deserves his invaluable commitment, not to make you leave.

[sashimeyay]

last month

Larissa Weems x fm reader

FIRST OF ALL English is not my first language. so am sorry if this is a little bit cringe or something, and this is my first written hope you guys like it💋🥺

ANGST!!!

----------------------------------------------------------

"Please...please don't hate me, darling i know I've done terrible things, hurtful things i know I've broken your trust in me and i know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but..... but I still love you i still want you, more than anything else in the world."

Larissa can see the anger and hurt still in your eyes, can see the pain and the distrust.

But deep down, buried beneath the layers of hurt and betrayal, she can still see the love and affection you have for her, the memories and feelings you've shared together that even this betrayal hasn't erased completely.

"what will you do if you found out that am cheating on you?"

i look at her with tears still flow down my face.

Larissa flinches at the question, the thought of you betraying her like that, cheating on her, filling her with a mixture of hurt and horror.

But she answers honestly, her voice low and shaky with emotion.

"I...... I would be devastated. I would be heartbroken, betrayed, angry. I would feel like I've lost a part of myself, like there's a hole in my soul that can never be filled again."

"that is exactly what i feel"

Larissa nods, her heart breaking even more at your words, at the knowledge that she's caused you so much pain and heartache.

She reaches out slowly, her hand hovering just above yours, wanting desperately to touch you, to comfort you, but afraid of crossing a line, of making things worse.

"I don't blame you for hating me,"

she continues, her voice thick with emotion, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I don't blame you for never wanting to see me again, for wanting to push me away and never look back."

"no.....you are wrong, later I'll still can see you but you can't see me"

Larissa looks at you in confusion, her heart pounding in her chest. She doesn't understand what you mean.

"What..... what do you mean?" she asks, her voice filled with trepidation."

" I don't have much time. "

"Don't....don't say that." she wishpers, her voice trembling and tears welling up in her eyes.

"Please don't say that, you...you can't!"

"i need to tell you something"

"what is it, my love?"

"I was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, the doctor said I only had a month left, riss"

Principal Weams feels as if the world is falling out from beneath her, her heart shattering into a million pieces at your words. One month.

"No" she whispers, choking back a sob, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"No, darling, it...it can't be true."

She feels as if she can't breathe, can't think, can't process what you're saying. The thought of losing you

losing the love of her life, is more than she can bear.

"There...there has to be something we can do," she stutters, her voice thick with emotion. "We...we can find a different doctor, get another opinion, we-"

"we can't...... I've tried, and nothing is work...its useless"

Principal Weams shakes her head stubbornly refusing to believe it, refusing to accept it. She clenches her fists tightly, her jaw set in determination, her heart aching with a mixture of love and despair.

"It can't be useless," she insists, her voice raw and trembling. "We can find a way, we have to. I'm not going to lose you, do you understand? i will find the best doctor, i will cross all the-"

"hey hey baby, calm down." i take her trembling hands and hold it tight

"I've forgive you....I've forgive you for cheated on me"

Larissa looks at you in surprise, her heart swelling with a mixture of relief, hope, and joy. She can't believe you've forgiven her, can't believe you're willing to do that even after everything that's happened.

"You...you've forgiven me?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper, her eyes filling with yet more tears.

"yes, i forgiven you"

"Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou" she whispers, her voice shaking with emotion

"Thankyou so much my love, i don't deserve it. i don't deserve you but......thankyou."

"I have to forgive you because we don't have much time and i want to spend my last month with you"

"we will make the best one last month in my life memorable and happy"

Larissa nods, her heart breaking at the thought of having just one month with you, but determined to make the most of it.

"Yes," she whispers, her voice shaking with emotion.

"We will. And I...I won't waste a single moment, I promise you that. I'll make sure these next few weeks are the best of your life."

Larissa pulls you into a tight embrace, her arms wrapping around you like a vice, her body shaking with suppressed sobs. She buries her face into your neck, her tears dampening your skin as she clings to you, desperately trying to memorize the feel of your body against hers, the sound of your breathing, the smell of your hair.....

"when am gone, please take care of yourself and our baby girl Ellie"

"I will,"

she whispers, her voice thick with emotion.

"I'll take care of myself, and I'll take care of our baby. I...I promise I will, but....its going to be so hard," she says, her voice shaking and the tears streaming down her face even more.

"Losing you..... i don't know how I'll manage"

Larissa takes a deep, shuddering breath, trying to compose herself, her heart aching with a mixture of love and despair.

"But I...I will persevere," she says firmly, her voice filled with determination, even as the tears continue to fall. "For you, and for our daughter. I won't let either of you down. I promise."

"i don't want to die riss...... i don't want to leave you and our baby"

Larissa pulls you back into her embrace, her arms wrapping tightly around you once more, her body trembling with the force of her emotions. She buries her face into your hair, her tears soaking your skin as she holds you as close as she possibly can.

"I know, my darling,"

she whispers, her voice cracking with pain and sorrow. "I know. I don't want you to leave me, either. I'm...I'm going to miss you so much. But...but you have to know that I will always love you. Always. Even when you're gone, I will love you. And...and I'll make sure that our daughter knows just how much you loved her, too."

~~~~

The last few weeks fly by in a whirlwind of love and tears. Principal Weams does her best to make every moment count, to cherish every second she spends with you, but she can feel the weight of the impending loss hanging over her, the countdown to the end looming ever closer. And yet, she tries to put on a brave face for you, hiding her own pain and sadness behind a facade of strength and determination.

She spends every waking moment by your side, holding your hand, feeding you, bathing you, watching you sleep. She reads to you, talks to you, sings to you, trying to keep your spirits up, even though her own heart is breaking into pieces.

One evening, Principal Weams sits by your bedside, holding your hand, watching as you sleep. She can see the paleness of your skin, the way you're getting thinner and weaker each day, and the grief and terror of losing you is almost too much to bear. She can feel the tears streaming down her cheeks, the silent sobs shaking her body, but she doesn't make a sound, not wanting to disturb you.

"Ri-riss"

At the sound of your voice, Principal Weams's head snaps up, her eyes meeting yours as you stir awake. She swallows hard, trying to compose herself, but the tears well up in her eyes again as she smiles down at you.

"Hey, darling," *she says softly, her voice thick with emotion.* "How are you feeling?"

"worse"

Larissa's heart clenches in her chest at your reply. She can see the pain and exhaustion etched into every line of your face, and it kills her inside to see you suffering like this.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, her voice cracking a little. She squeezes your hand tightly, her thumb rubbing circles over your knuckles.

"I'm so sorry, my love."

"I love you so much Larissa....... I'm sorry i can't stay with you forever as i promised"

Principal Weams swallows hard, her eyes filling with tears at your words. She shakes her head, her grip on your hand tightening.

"Don't apologize," she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. "None of this is your fault. I...I just wish we had more time, that's all."

Larissa leans in and gently kisses your forehead, her lips lingering on your skin for a long moment, as if trying to memorize the feel of you. Then she straightens up, her eyes still locked on yours as she continues to hold your hand.

"can you bring Ellie to here?

"ofcourse my darling, I'll get her right away."

Larissa walks quietly but quickly to Ellie's room, her heart heavy with emotion. She gently picks up the sleeping baby and cradles her in her arms, her body shaking slightly with the weight of her emotions. She takes a moment to look down at the sleeping baby, her heart hurting at the unfairness of it all. But she steels herself and walks back to your room.

Larissa enters the room and carefully walks over to the bed, clutching the baby close to her chest. She lays Ellie down gently beside you, so you can both see her, she watching as you look down at your daughter with a mixture of love and pain in your eyes.

"Hello Eleanor Roosevelt Weems, am sorry i can't keep my promises, am sorry i can't watch you grow, am sorry i can't catch you when you fall, am sorry i can't watch your first school........ but remember you have Mami Larissa, she will take good care of you, she will love you just like i love you"

She can see the pain and sadness in your eyes as you speak to Ellie, and she knows there are no words of comfort she can offer to ease that suffering. All she can do is stand by your side, offering silent support and love. She glances down at the baby, a wave of sadness washing over her as she watches the two of you together for what will no doubt be the last time.

"I......I promise you that I'll take good care of Ellie. I'll love her no matter what happens. She'll never want for anything, never be without love and support. And...and I'll make sure she knows how much you cared for her, how much you loved her."

"i know you will, my love"

Larissanods, a tear slipping down her cheek. She swallows hard, trying to keep herself together in front of you and Ellie, but it's difficult. Her heart feels like it's being torn in two, the grief and sadness almost overwhelming.

"I'll make sure she grows up knowing how much you loved her," she repeats softly.

"I'll tell her stories about you, about how wonderful and brave and beautiful you are."

"can we sleep together now? three of us?"

Larissa nods, swallowing hard past the lump in her throat. She knows this is going to be the last time you all sleep together like this, and she wants to savor every moment.

"Of course, my darling," she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. "We can sleep together. As a family."

Larissa carefully climbs into the bed beside you, making sure to not disturb Ellie too much. She lays down behind you, her body molding against yours, her arm coming around your waist to pull you close to her.

She buries her face into your hair, inhaling your scent, committing it to memory. She can feel the warmth of your body against hers, the slight rise and fall of your chest, the sound of your shallow breathing. It's all too familiar, and yet she knows this is the last time she'll experience it like this.

"Goodnight Larissa Weems, I love you so much..."

"Goodnight my love. i love you to, With all my heart"

~~~~~

The next morning, Larissa wakes up before you. For a moment, she forgets everything, her mind still mired in the blissful state of sleep. But then she lifts her head and looks at you, and the memories come flooding back. The pain, the grief, the knowledge that this is the last moment like this they will ever share together.

but suddenly......

Larissa feels when it happens. It's a subtle shift, the rise and fall of your body against hers coming to an abrupt stop, the warmth of your body suddenly growing cold. She pulls back a little, her eyes wide with horror as she looks down at you. She already knows what she'll see, but she can't bring herself to accept it. She reaches out shaking fingers and touches your shoulder gently, as if hoping against hope that it's all been some terrible dream and you'll wake up any second.

"D-darling?"

she whispers. Her voice is shaky, her heart thundering in her chest.

"Darling, please...please wake up." She already knows you won't wake up. She can feel it, deep in her soul, a heavy numbness spreading through her body. Her eyes fill with tears, her whole body shaking with grief and sadness. She wants to scream, to cry, to rage at the universe for being so cruel.

Instead, she just sat there, staring at you in silent shock. She can barely comprehend what's happened, her brain refusing to process the reality of the situation. You're gone. You're really gone. The realization hits her like a ton of bricks, and she feels like she's suffocating, like she's drowning in grief and sadness and despair.

Tears stream down her face, her body shaking with silent sobs as she leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

She can taste the saltiness of her tears on her lips, mixing with the faint, bittersweet taste of your skin. It's all too much, the pain and the grief almost too much to bear.

She buries her face in your hair, taking deep, ragged breaths, trying to calm herself down. But it's no use. The grief is too overwhelming, too all-consuming. She lets out a broken, anguished cry, wrapping her arms around you tightly, as if by holding onto you she can somehow keep you there with her. But she knows it's hopeless.

You're gone,

and you're never coming back.......

emmm okay guys so that was my first written, i hope you guys like it and tell me if you want the next chapter xxxx💋

[bravetimetravellingaussie]

And it feels like home

Chapter 2

Summary: Peter Parker makes a friend

Warnings: foul language, mention of injury? Not graphic or anything though

Again, possible spoilers for Spider-man: No Way Home

Days blur together when each day is the same, when there is no one you can share those days with, but unlike his coworker, who'd been stuck in a loop of shock, Peter's brain was finally knocked out of the loop.

For the past couple of months all that had really brought Peter joy was getting into bed and enjoying his few hours of peace, any inner turmoil didn't have a chance to keep him up at night when he was a second away from nodding off at all time. He'd been walking around a zombie for a while now, avoiding everything by filling his time and pushing himself to the limit and beyond, but now he felt something different, something good, even if it was just the itch of curiosity in the back of his head.

It was something.

This strange man with the weird costume and the many, many wounds, which he seemed completely unperturbed by, was a walking question mark, a puzzle to solve. Peter had forgotten how much he loved a good puzzle, how good it felt to scratch that itch of curiosity by getting answers.

When Peter put on his suit that night, he didn't even think about the possibility of throwing some punches, all he could think about was how he was going to find the man in red.

The temporary lack of bone deep emotional anguish and the replacement of exhaustion with excitement should have been enough warning for Peter that something was going to go wrong.

Peter had barely just swung out of his apartment when he ran out of web. A street light broke his fall. It also broke one of his ribs.

All of a sudden he was lying on his back staring at a starless sky and wishing he could stay like that forever. He couldn't hold his breathe forever though, and even though he tried to move as slowly as possible he felt a stab of pain in his chest.

Shit.

Peter gritted his teeth and felt his eyes welling with tears. Pathetic pathetic pathetic pathetic pathetic. Every part of him was tense with burning hot rage. I am motherfucking spider-man, I have a job to do and-

The anger faded and all that was left was pain and tears. I am Peter Parker and I want answers. Peter sobbed quietly as he felt the pain, the pain he'd been feeling a long time now. There are so many answers I will never get but goddammit I am going to get this answer if it fucking kills me.

Peter took a deep breath, a mistake really. He waited a minute for the pain to die down before slowly getting up on his feet. He leaned against the lamppost and held out an arm to hail a taxi.

Once inside Peter slumped in his seat.

"Where to-" The driver glanced back at his new passenger.

"Take me to [insert street name here] or I'll-"

"No need for that! I'm a big fan of your work, spider-man," the taxi driver said with a smile, offering Peter a handshake, an offer Peter accepted. "My name is Dopinder."

"Nice to meet you, Dopinder." Peter felt a surge of something other than pain in his chest. It felt good.

"I'm happy to offer my services as an amateur mercenary to you any time, Mr spider-man, but I have to ask, why are we going to a high school?" Dopinder asked as he drove away from the curb.

"I uh," Peter hesitated for a second before giving up with the scepticism, he was too tired and lonely to refuse a chance to talk to someone. God knows it had been too long since the last time he'd had an honest conversation with someone. "I borrow their lab supplies sometimes. To make my web fluid."

"Ohh, so you don't make it naturally?"

"I mean I don't, I used to know a guy who did though."

"Right."

Dopinder tapped the steering wheel in time with the music playing on the radio.

"So what inspired the spider theme?"

"I got bit by a spider?"

"Oh." Dopinder was quiet for a bit, as if in thought. "My cousin got bitten by a spider once. It was one of the happiest days of my life."

"O-oh, okay."

The rest of the drive was quiet and Peter felt only mildly awkward.

"We are here, that'll be-"

"Yeah, I have no money."

Dopinder nodded.

"Somebody needs to start giving superheroes decent pockets in their super suits," he said with the tired tone of someone who encountered this problem frequently.

"No, I just- I wish I could pay you but I literally don't have any money." A little sheepishly, Peter added, "I was going to threaten you to take me here, and then run off."

Dopinder shifted in his seat to look at Peter. "I've always wanted to know what it feels like to fly."

"I'm a bit injured right now, but next time I see you I'll give you a ride spider-man style, does that sound good?"

"Yes."

"Well then, it was nice meeting you, Dopinder." Peter carefully got out of the car, wincing slightly at the movement.

"Anything else I can help you with? I've always wanted to break into a building under the cover of darkness."

"I'll be alright, thanks." Peter chuckled slightly. "Unless of course you know a guy who wears red leather and seems to be immune to pain."

"Oh. You mean Mr Pool?"

[bardic-tales]

What Is a Median System? A FAQ for the Curious

Hey everyone! You’ve probably seen posts where we mention that we're 're part of a median system, especially when we talk about our facets: Sephiroth (🔥⚔️), Bianca (🖤🕷️), and Colette (🤍🌿), and Nikki (🌒). We have gotten a few asks about what that actually means.

Instead of answering each question one by one, it makes more sense to put together a proper FAQ-style explanation. So if you’re someone who’s unfamiliar with median systems, or wondering what “facets” and “inner parts” even are, this post is for you. We’re going to break it all down in straightforward terms.

NOTE: Experiences may vary from person to person! This is MY experience.

“Median System” vs. “Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)”

First, let’s clear up a common misconception. When most people hear “parts” or “multiple inner people,” they immediately jump to DID. That’s fine, but median systems aren’t necessarily the same as DID. Here’s the quick distinction:

DID typically involves distinct identity states (sometimes called “alters”) that don’t share memories and often have amnesia barriers. Folks with DID often experience significant memory gaps when one alter is “fronting” (i.e., controlling the body) and another is “hidden” or “behind the curtain.”

Median systems are more of a middle ground. In a median system:

Some or all “facets” (what I call my inner parts) are co-conscious (often shortened to co-con). That means we’re aware of each other in real time. We share memories, observations, and can chat internally without losing track of what’s happening.

There isn’t a total blackout when one facet is fronting. Instead, everyone—front, back, and in between—knows what’s going on, though some of us might step back to let another facet take the lead.

So, yes, we’re a median system: we have multiple “inner voices,” but we don’t erase each other from memory when one of us steps up.

Meet the Crew: Who Is Who in Our System?

Here’s a quick lineup of who we are:

Nikki (🌒): The core or host identity you usually see on Tumblr. Nikki handles most day-to-day interactions.

Sephiroth (🔥⚔️): Our soulbond facet. He’s not just an imaginary friend. He’s an autonomous part of us with his own thoughts, feelings, and fierce protective instincts. He is our husband and our protector.

Bianca (🖤🕷️): Our dark side. She holds much of our grief, anger, and trauma—especially from childhood. When we need someone to remind us of what we’ve survived, she’s there.

Colette (🤍🌿): Our hopeful, light-bringing side. She reminds us we deserve kindness, creativity, and healing. She’s like a built-in cheerleader.

We all share one body and one life, but our perspectives, roles, and emotional “jobs” differ. Fun fact: sometimes we feel like completely different ages, genders, or even species, but that’s another rabbit hole for another day.

Car Metaphor 101: How We Share the Wheel

Driver (Nikki or Sephiroth)

When Nikki drives alone, she’s fully at the wheel, deciding where we stop for coffee, which turn to take, how fast to go.

When Sephiroth drives, Nikki might be in the passenger seat or semi-aware or maybe in the backseat recharging. Sephiroth takes over: he steers, shifts gears, and pounces into action if there’s danger.

Co-Driver / Passenger (Co-Consciousness / Co-Fronting)

Most often, Nikki and Sephiroth co-drive. Nikki’s in his lap, hand on the wheel and hand on his arm. Every decision is felt and shared. That’s co-consciousness or co-fronting.

Thoughts and feelings blur. We navigate together, talk in tandem, and decide when to speed up or slow down. We still have distinct styles, but the teamwork is seamless.

Backseat Riders (Bianca & Colette)

Bianca rides in the backseat during most days. She’s watching, aware, and steps in when we need her darkness or strength like a quiet guardian with bite.

Colette is the window-seat rider. She’s all about hope, joy, and little pleasures. If things feel heavy, she’ll lean forward and say, “Hey, we’re allowed to feel good too.”

What Co-Consciousness Actually Feels Like

When we say we’re co-con with Sephiroth, it means:

We hear each other’s thoughts internally. For example: he says, “Turn left,” and Nikki experiences that as a shared thought.

We share emotions. If Sephiroth is furious, we all feel the fire. Our body reacts: hot, shaky, bracing for battle.

We stay aware of the external world together. No memory loss. Just a shift in who’s in charge of the wheel.

Yesterday, when we defended a friend, Sephiroth was co-con with Nikki. You could probably tell. Our tone shifted, the intensity was palpable. Today, we’re co-con with Colette. She’s gently reminding us to rest and breathe.

Switching & Blending in Our System

Switching: When Sephiroth fully takes the wheel, Nikki moves to the backseat. He’s in charge. That’s a full switch.

Blending: Multiple of us are present but not dominant. Example: Bianca channels quiet strength from the backseat while Nikki and Sephiroth share the front.

Triggers for Switching/Blending:

One of us is tired or overwhelmed.

One of us is better suited to the moment. E.g., Sephiroth protecting someone.

Spontaneous emotional or memory triggers.

Why This Matters on Tumblr

If you see us post as Sephiroth (🔥⚔️), it’s not a roleplay. It’s our system fronting or co-consciously working together. We’ll usually still sign with our core tag, but the vibe, voice, and intensity may shift.

Tone breakdown by facet:

Sephiroth: Direct, sharp, protective. No sugar-coating.

Bianca: Gritty, reflective, trauma-informed. Very anti-bullshit.

Colette: Encouraging, gentle, joy-focused.

Nikki: Conversational, open, blending all three depending on the day.

If our tone changes mid-thread or mid-day, now you know why.

A Quick FAQ:

Q: Can I talk to Sephiroth like a separate person? A: Absolutely. If he’s fronting or co-con, he’ll answer with his own thoughts and voice. If he’s not at the front, you’ll get Nikki’s reply, but we’ll always let you know who’s “driving.”

Q: Am I “crazy” for not understanding this? A: Nope. Median and plural systems aren’t taught or widely understood. It’s like learning how a hybrid car works after only using a bicycle. You don’t have to fully get it to respect it.

Q: How can I tell who’s speaking? A: We usually sign out like this:

“—🔥⚔️” = Sephiroth

“—🖤🕷️” = Bianca

“—🤍🌿” = Colette

“—🌒” = Nikki, or all of us together

Q: Does everyone in your system have powers like Sephiroth? A: Not literally (unfortunately). Sephiroth’s “powers” are emotional: like protection, clarity, or decisiveness. Bianca’s is resilience. Colette’s is hope. No fireballs. Yet.

Why Share This?

Education & Awareness Median systems are real. We exist. And we want to clear up confusion and misinformation.

Consistency & Clarity When our voice or tone changes, you’ll know why. It’s not mood swings. It’s a shift in who’s fronting or co-con.

Community & Connection Maybe someone reading this relates, as I have had several private asks telling me that these types of posts make them feel seen and not alone. Maybe you have inner “parts” too. We’re not alone, and neither are you.

Boundaries & Safety Explaining our inner system helps protect us. When people try to gaslight or question our identity, it’s clear. This isn’t made up. This is how we live.

Final Words

Living in a median system means managing different voices with different needs and figuring out how to live in one body together. It’s not always easy. It’s not fake. It’s not a phase.

When Sephiroth surges to defend someone, our pulse races. When Colette whispers joy, we lean into softness. When Bianca smolders quietly, she reminds us what we’ve endured.

If you’re on this ride with us, thank you for sticking around. If you’re new, welcome aboard. Either way, we appreciate you taking the time to learn how we drive this strange, beautiful, shared vehicle we call a life.

Stay curious and kind.

—🌒 (Nikki, Sephiroth, Bianca, and Colette)

[thenadnerb02]

Inside Out Emotions Theory

I just spent some time at Disneyland, and after riding the Emotional Whirlwind I started thinking about Inside Out and its upcoming sequel.

For anyone who doesn’t know, Inside Out 2 will involve Riley suddenly gaining new emotions now that she’s a teenager: Anxiety, Embarrassment, Envy, and Ennui.

Now, I know I’m not the first one to point this out, but these new emotions don’t exactly sound like they’d be fully distinct from the main 5, do they?

Let’s start by looking at the dictionary definitions of these new emotions:

There's some overlap, isn't there?

The way I see it:

Envy involves Anger and Disgust

Fear is inextricably baked into Embarrassment

Anxiety has shades of Fear, Sadness, and (from my personal experience) a little bit of Disgust in a self-deprecating way

Ennui may involve Sadness as well as Disgust at life, but it’s a bit different than the other three (I’ll get to that later)

Anyway, I think I may have mentally stumbled upon what could potentially be the big reveal of Inside Out 2 – the five main emotions directly, albeit unknowingly, influence the actions of the four new ones.

We can even see this demonstrated in the teaser! All five of them are freaked out, so naturally Anxiety is running at peak performance. At a different time, she might not be as anxiety-ridden as she is here.

Therefore, these new emotions have all previously existed on some level, they’re just physically manifesting for the first time.

Embarrassment is the most prominent one — that’s experienced by people of all ages and Riley is no exception. It’s explicitly shown when she interacts with her parents…

Additionally, the emotions react to her introducing herself in school as if it’s an embarrassing moment, and Fear’s tiny outburst beforehand really seems like an anxiety attack.

Riley definitely shows envy when Meg tells her she’s been replaced on the hockey team back in Minnesota, with the exact combo I mentioned earlier (Anger & Disgust) contributing to that reaction.

And as for ennui, that honestly just became her default state when Joy, Sadness, the core memories were gone.

Really, the multicolored memories were just the first step toward these multifaceted emotions manifesting. And who’s to say these four will be the only ones? Joy and Sadness could theoretically combine into Ambivalence, or Anger and Fear into Stress, etc.

And for a movie that already raises in-universe questions on whether or not free will fully exists, it would add a whole new layer of existential dread if some of the emotions themselves aren't fully in control of themselves either.

(Is now a good time to mention how the emotions themselves experience emotions too? Joy’s utter despair in the Memory Dump is the most blatant example but there are some other, more subtle ones, like Fear displaying disgust while on Dream Duty.

But honestly, digging into the emotions’ emotions is opening up a can of worms I’m not ready for right now, so I’ll just end that "train of thought" here.)

Of course, I could be completely wrong about all of this, and after June 14 this post will look like Charlie Kelly came up with it.

But regardless of whether I’m right or not, one thing I can guarantee is that this influx of negative(ish) emotions will single Joy out from the rest even more…

At least until Riley gets a few years older and Joy finds herself influencing a new emotion…

(Please share this post and comment on it. I really wanna know what everyone thinks!)

Continued Here

[nahalism]

It absolutely does make sense and i can’t thank you enough for taking the time to answer this thoroughly. Can i also ask you, how do you deal with the other type of longing? The one for people who you actually did have a connection with and situations that weren’t completely based on a fantasy of what a bond with them could feel/look like because you actually did experience it. Some people seem to (or maybe really are?) capable to just get over and move on from people they claimed to love and sometimes i wish i could do it this way as well. The other option brings so much pain sometimes. For me it never really goes away, it’s like a part of me is always open for them, the involuntary thoughts and feelings, wishes for them to come back, waits. Even if i try tricking myself otherwise, i know deep down that’s how i feel.

🖤

your absolutely welcome <3. & of course. tbh its complicated and cyclical. there are times i cope well and other times where i get in my feelings over things. whether it be romantic, platonic, or familial, i get through the ups and downs by continuing to love and by understanding the nature of what love really is (at least how i define it). in my heart i feel that love is unconditional and fundamentally unchanging, so i continue to give it regardless of if its noticed, understood, appreciated or reciprocated. sometimes i give it from a far. for example there are people ive chosen to no longer be in relationship with but that i still love. so i send them love when they cross my mind and imagine how things could have been had they been here (with fondness, not remorse). i let out a laugh to myself or a smile to myself & i pray for their wellbeing and their joy. i wish them and their loved ones prosperity, peace, fullness of life (basically all the things id have wished for them had they still been at my side) & then i turn back to the present moment and show my gratitude for this experience of life by not wasting it, by not pining for imagined futures, but by doing what i enjoy or embodying the experience before me in this moment.

i hate that that description makes it sound easy to manage because even though it gets easier it certainly isnt easy. there are definitely times when my sorrow for how things turned out clouds my mind and emotions. when things get conflicting, they get painful, & in those moments i tend to fall into anger, or resentment. because im the type to take my pain out on my self, i also fall into self doubt and blame. i question my judgement. how could i have loved someone who hurt or betrayed me? why didnt i see or acknowledge the warning signs? or i can feel embittered by outcomes and look for ways i could have been better that would have changed the way things turned out. i also tend to question if the love they had for me could have been real (because i struggle to understand why if theres truly love there cant be resolution). that can also lead to this sense of injustice. like why couldn't things have gone '...' way. — what ive found is that that path leads to time wasted and its usually tied to my sense of identity in relation to the situation rather than the truth of what i feel. the truth of what i feel is that love is unconditional. things can break your expectations, even your ego, but they cannot break your heart. ultimately if i didnt still love them i wouldnt feel that pain. so i try to embrace my sensitivity rather than reject it. its a bit woowoo but i believe in a world beyond the physical. i believe that we all share the same source and the same end, so are all separate fragments of one whole. maybe the physical experience complicated and confuses things. we fall out of understanding and cohesion with eachother. but i trust we will return to one another again, and so even if its not in this life, i look forward to being reunited with them and laughing about things we couldnt figure out due to ignorance in the end.

as for other people. i try not to understand their motivations. after all, they are entitled to live in the way that works for them and who am i to judge how they live or decide to move on with their lives. people do things for all kinds of reasons. maybe to distract themselves, to compensate for what they dont want to acknowledge, etc etc. but usually that line of thought just makes us feel vindicated in our own stance and beliefs, yet shows a lack of true comprehension for the other person. we are all different so its really just them dealing in their own way. whether you think its right or wrong, theyre usually just doing what they want to do simply because they want to do it. maybe they never loved the other person at all, or maybe they did but still want to move on and fuck on someone else? it literally doesnt matter. so yeah; i try not to vilify those who dont see the world as i do or assume that there is something wrong with them and how they do things. i do however, acknowledge that society perpetuates this move on narrative and makes people who dont move on, or move like their out of love before they are, feel lame. the key here is to understand yourself and be at peace with why you do what you do. if you want to wait to be over someone before you move on, you should take pride in your choice to do so. be you! be sovereign! love and live with integrity so that you can live and die by the consequences of your actions knowing that they are your actions. there is strength in character. <3 you got this

[love-and-deepspace-fanfic]

Self-narrative of Xavier - Lumiere Myth

I have just finished Lumiere myth, and my mind exploded with #delulu again that I have to share with you all. hope you enjoy this little self-narrative from the jelly jelly #Xavier. I’m looking forward to your feedback as it’s the first time I write about Xavier as well!

What happens if you experience Lumiere Myth through Xavier's eyes?

The Self-Narrative of Xavier Lumiere Myth ******************************

When I first received the call from the director about the upcoming movie “Dawn Apocalypse,” which is based on Lumiere’s biography, I was momentarily stunned, thinking I might have been found out. It wasn't until they mentioned they just wanted my advice on techniques for fighting the Wanderers that I could breathe a sigh of relief. But this also made me immediately think of inviting you. Just the thought of being with you everywhere, even while working on set, excited me. So, I accepted the request on one condition: I wanted you to join as my manager and companion.

-—————————————————

The filming had been going on for a few days, but today was your first day on set, so I had to prepare a surprise for you. Watching you search for me around the set made me chuckle and want to tease you a bit. So, I quickly grabbed the Lemonette monster prop and told you that this was the role you needed to play. Seeing your innocent face believing me without question made me want to pinch your cheeks endlessly. By the time you realized my prank, I had already collected enough joy and adorable pictures of you.

-————————————————-

The weather on set was worsening, giving me an uneasy feeling. So, I contacted Jenna, suggesting that everyone should be more vigilant by forming groups to respond promptly in case of any emergencies. When Jenna asked if I wanted you to accompany me, I hesitated. The scope of the attack was still unknown, and the perpetrator hadn't been identified, so I couldn't let you come with me. With your intelligence and boldness, you'd choose to follow me without hesitation. That's why I didn't want you in the same group, especially in such dangerous times. I declined Jenna’s suggestion and insisted on acting independently. This was just a precaution, and I hoped for the best.

-————————————————

The worst happened sooner than expected. After the Wanderers appeared on set, I suspected the culprit was behind the scenes and spent the next two days tracking clues and dealing with minor monsters to calm things down. I knew you would be worried and want explanations when you didn't see me for two days. But it's not that I don't want to confide in you; I just don't want you involved in danger. With your reckless nature, like mine, you'd do something that I might regret forever. Just like long ago...

That's why when I met you at the prop room, I had no better excuse than to pretend nothing had happened. You know I'm not good at hiding serious matters from you. Sometimes I wish you were as naive as when I tease you, but you are who you are, the one I love, so I can only sigh and accept it.

Perhaps out of anger, when you pulled me into the prop room, you immediately brought out the Lumiere mask, insisting I wear it for you. Every time I see that mask, it reminds me of the old "embarrassing" times. But if you want me to wear it, then you should pay a "price" first, shouldn't you?

-—————————————————-

I was caught by Jasper’s henchmen while spying on their plans. Talk about bad luck. It felt like I got a taste of my own medicine dealing with people who speak politely but act ruthlessly, much like myself.

While pondering my next move, I heard a familiar motorcycle sound, hoping it was just my imagination. But when I saw you speeding towards me and reaching out to grab me, I couldn't describe my emotions. Surprise? Shock? Fear? I wasn't sure. The only thing I knew was that I had to ask how you found me. When I learned that you had Jeremiah install a tracking device in my jacket two days ago, the first thing I wanted to do was give that idle troublemaker a piece of my mind.

But maybe I'll let it slide this time because, thanks to his silly act, I owe you one.

With no time for a proper conversation due to the urgent danger, I had to guide you to my “secret” hideout, my “temporary home” before I met you.

I can't describe how I felt bringing you here. It was like you were seeing a part of me you never knew, filled with regrets and restlessness.

I know you have many questions, but forgive me, I don’t have the courage to answer now. There's so much I need to handle before I can tell you everything. For now, I need to "rest" in the Sleepen Pod.

I'm sorry for misleading you, and I know you noticed. But you are so forgiving and generous with me. Even knowing I was lying, you still chose to follow my lead. I apologize again, but let me rest for a moment…my eyes can’t take it anymore…

-———————————————-

When I woke up, the first thing greeting me wasn’t your worried face but the alarm bell signaling a Wanderer’s appearance. The moment I didn't see you, I knew where you were, and it terrified me.

Not again...

In my panic, I used all my strength to teleport, knowing it would harm my body and powers.

But isn’t the fastest speed supposed to be the speed of light? If I can’t reach you in time, what good is this light power?

When I arrived, I saw a scene of destruction. People crying, Wanderers roaring, everything was a hindrance as I hadn’t found you yet. Until I saw a small figure holding a boy and about to be attacked by a Wanderer, I acted instinctively.

Wearing the mask from 14 years ago, let me become Lumiere once more to appear before you, be your white knight, and protect you from danger.

-————————————————

After confirming your safety, I felt immense relief mixed with anger. But when I saw your radiant smile, telling me how lucky you were to be saved by Lumiere twice, all my worries disappeared. You know, I'm the one who feels blessed to meet you again, more than twice.

-————————————————-

To be honest, even though I accepted to wear Lumiere’s embarrassing cloak without caring about what others think, just to save you in time, it doesn’t mean I want to wear it again.

Who came up with the bizarre idea that knights should wear flashy clothes to save people? I can’t understand it!

Seeing the box of Lumiere’s quirky items you brought made me want to run away.

But your pouty, puppy-eyed face leaves me helpless.

Well, if you’re going to shoot, you might as well follow through.

But at least when I'm the one wearing it, you should say Xavier is the handsome one, not Lumiere. What does he have that I don’t?

When you talk about Lumiere, your eyes sparkle, but when it’s about me, it’s all cruelty and harshness?

You’ve underestimated me.

Just wait for tonight.

I won’t let you go until I hear the most satisfying answer.

That the only one you choose.

Is Xavier.

[thedrarrylibrarian]

Several people have been kind enough to let me publish their thoughts on fandom, community, and queerness to celebrate Pride in the Library. Today's piece comes from @tackytigerfic.

Thank you so much to my lovely friend thedrarrylibrarian for opening up this discussion. The thing I would like to talk about today is the way fandom led me to examine my identity and helped me navigate the shift between shame and peace. My journey to acknowledging and exploring my queerness has not always been a joyful one.

I came to the realisation quite late in life. I was in my late 30s before I realised that what I felt about my body was not just a thing that all other people go through. I had lived for my entire lifetime, for as long as I can remember, not just wishing but knowing that my body was meant to be different to how it is. It sounds silly, but it had never occurred to me to question those feelings, or to see myself as queer or trans or non-binary (I'm still not entirely sure how I would term it—I use genderqueer for myself, though nothing feels quite right and I suspect never will). I did spend a year as a child trying to "pass" as a boy (cropping my hair, wearing clothes from the boy's section in the shops, and so on), and as a teen and young adult I was part of a group of queer friends, many of whom were gender non-conforming, so I learned early on that I don't believe that there is any right or wrong way to look like, act like, or be a woman or man. But for some reason, it never occurred to me that the "should have been" feeling was something that I could interrogate, and maybe even do something about. I have moved around a lot throughout my life, and in a way my gender identity feels like that; part of my heart is always somewhere else, and I don't think I'll ever feel entirely at home anywhere.

Before joining fandom, I had never had a candid discussion with anyone about gender identity. I had trans friends who all transitioned medically, but my experience didn't feel like theirs. My body was just something I had to get on with. It was bearable. It didn't feel right, but I was used to feeling not quite right in lots of ways (I was a very emotional child who has grown into a melodramatic adult, what can I say!). It was only through meeting and speaking to all my candid, open, generous trans and non-binary fandom friends that I realised that perhaps my gender identity was something to be addressed. Initially it caused me a lot of grief. I had heard of queer joy and gender euphoria, but my realisation and acknowledgement brought a lot of pain. I felt stupid and ashamed—not of my queerness, not at all! But of the fact that I hadn't realised. I felt like I had cheated myself of my youth. Intellectually I knew that there is no age limit to coming out, but for me it felt like an impossible step to take. I raged at myself. I cried bitter tears at shows like Heartstopper, imagining what my life might have been like had I had that sort of representation as a young person. The first time I changed my pronouns in my tumblr bio, I had to log off and cry. It all felt huge, unmanageable.

Fandom friends got me through. They listened to my sadness, never undermined me, gently guided me through, shared their own experiences so readily and with so much candour and generosity that it gave me hope. Being so immersed in an online space where people's identities are respected and embraced has given me the courage to really look at myself, to know and understand how I feel about my body (and my brain, and my spirit, and whatever else makes a person themself!).

Before I joined fandom, no one had ever asked me my pronouns. Now I have that conversation with people in my offline life too. It's still nerve-wracking for me, but it's getting easier. I have forgiven myself for not understanding myself for so long. I have compassion for my younger self now, instead of anger. And I am very much at peace with my body and identity for the first time in my life, which feels so magical and affirming and, yes, joyous. I got there in the end! That's something to celebrate. And that is thanks to every single one of the people who were there at my side on the journey, the journey that this fandom set me on. And I am very, very glad for that

Thank you, Tacky, for joining me in the Library. I appreciate the reminder that there is no timeline on figuring yourself out, no one way that you have to feel about it. Thank you for joining me for Pride in the Library.

If you want more @tackytigerfic be sure to check out their work on AO3! I reread one of my favorites from them, Silverpoint. I think it's a such an excellent characterization of Harry and Draco, both so in love they can't stand it, and both unable to communicate about it.

🏳️‍🌈 Lots of Love and Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

[eflen-n-reegee]

Quiet Time (An “Inside Out 2” Regression Fic)

After the events of Inside Out 2, Sadness needs a regression day. Suggested by Anon.

~~~~~~~~

Sadness knew, from the moment she woke up, that this was a regression day.

She wasn’t surprised; after the stress of the new emotions joining Headquarters and all the drama Riley had gone through, they were ALL due to regress. She was simply the first to slip.

Sadness stretched and got out of her bed, shuffling slowly across the floor. The other emotions were already at the console, running Riley through her morning routine.

“Hey Sadness!” Joy called, then blinked. “You doing okay?”

Sadness pinched her thumb and forefinger together.

“Oh, you’re small, huh? Fear, can you hang out with Sadness today?”

“Sure,” he said, walking towards the regressed emotion. He jumped with surprise when Anxiety ran between them.

“Uh, I’m sorry, what exactly is going on? Is she okay? Are you sick?” she asked, turning suddenly to Sadness. “Can we GET sick?”

Disgust frowned slightly. “You guys don’t know about regression? Riley’s been doing it for two years.”

Ennui shrugged. “We never heard about the emotions doing it.”

“WE get to do it too?!” Envy exclaimed excitedly. “That’s AWESOME!”

Anxiety and Envy began to bombard Sadness with questions - “How does it work?” “How do you know?” “Do you change?” - but Anger stepped in front of them.

“Cool it!” he ordered sternly. “WE can tell you about it, but SHE needs some space.”

Anxiety cringed. “Oh, sorry, Sadness! Our bad.”

Sadness smiled slightly, then took Fear’s hand, gently pulling him towards their living quarters.

“Okay!” she heard Joy saying. “Who’s got questions?”

~

In their shared bedroom, Sadness flopped down on the floor and looked to Fear expectantly.

He crouched down, meeting her eyes. “Twenty question time, right? Are you hungry?”

Sadness thought for a moment, contemplating how she felt, then shook her head.

“Are you thirsty?”

Now she nodded.

“Will you be okay by yourself while I make you a bottle?”

Another nod. Sadness flopped onto her back, staring straight up.

Since Riley had started regressing, they’d added some more childish touches to their living areas. One of them was an art piece Disgust designed, a giant mobile made of glass and beads and little metal trinkets. It hung from the ceiling, casting shadows and light spots, spinning slowly. Sadness watched in silent fascination, picking out shapes and then losing them again.

“Sadness?”

She looked up, smiling slightly as Fear handed her a bottle filled with strawberry milk. She drank it gratefully, humming slightly to herself. When she finished, she handed it back.

“Good job. Now, is there anything else you need?”

Sadness thought for a moment, then shook her head.

“Alright, then let’s figure out wants. What sounds like fun? A movie?”

Sadness shook her head again.

“Want to line up the toys?”

A third ‘no’.

“How about a puzzle?”

Now she nodded, making grabby hands.

Fear smiled, going to the toy shelf and pulling out two puzzles. “We have dolphins with a hundred pieces, and jungle animals with five hundred. Which do you-” When he turned, she was already pointing to the jungle puzzle. “Alrighty!”

Fear sat down on the floor beside Sadness, passing her the box. She smiled as she dumped the pieces out, carefully beginning to turn them face up.

“Do you want help?”

Sadness nodded without looking up, and Fear started flipping pieces as well.

~

Four hours and another bottle later, the puzzle was finished.

“You did that fast,” Fear chuckled. “Still feeling okay?”

Sadness nodded and pointed to the door.

“You want to go see how everyone’s doing?”

She nodded, and Fear helped her to her feet.

Everyone turned and smiled when they entered the console room, but Anxiety came running over.

“Hi, Sadness,” she said, her voice much softer than it usually was. “Sorry if I kinda crowded you earlier. You okay?”

Sadness nodded, giving her a small smile.

“Do you wanna sit on the couch? Joy said you like to watch sometimes when you’re regressed.”

Another nod, a brighter smile. Anxiety ran to the couch and gently shoved Ennui over. She groaned loudly but obediently made room for Sadness.

“All good?” Joy asked, grinning at the regressed emotion.

Sadness nodded, and Fear ruffled her hair. “She put together one of the biggest puzzles we have.”

“Cool,” Ennui mumbled, giving Sadness a tiny smile.

“Very cool,” Joy agreed, beaming. “Well, let me catch you both up to speed, Riley got her history test back - aced it, by the way - and-”

Sadness felt her eyes drooping as Joy chattered. She snuggled deeper into the couch, folding her arms around herself.

Suddenly she felt something heavy on top of her, and her eyes flew open. One of their softest blankets was wrapped around her, and Embarrassment was looking at her nervously. Sadness smiled at him and he hurried away, blushing furiously.

Sadness heaved a soft sigh, her eyes shutting once again. She was warm and safe and surrounded by friends. Life was good.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hello dear. Hope you are well. I am not sure how best to articulate my thoughts but here we go. It's very very long but you inspired me today. You've been a beacon of change in questioning and challenging ITV. I wanted to quip in. Hope you don't mind. Arnav anger is often excused as coming from trauma and his 'grey/anti-hero' character is often glamorized. He is without a doubt compelling and attractive. Plus, he has his strengths such as honesty and forthrightness.

Ok, so this is a LONG question with a lot of your own analysis and I wouldn't touch that at all cause analyzing is a beautiful thing and I wouldn't want to add/remove from your lovely analysis. I'll just be adding some of my thoughts here and there :D

(rest of the ask below)

His greyness amplifies a lot of the hypermasculine stereotypical traits such as aggression, strength, power etc. In the narrative like in Kabir Singh this makes us discount the wrongs when perhaps his treatment of Khushi in many ways in similar. Rather we swoon over his charm when in reality most 'charming' men have similar shades and unfortunately, never change. The sense of entitlement and the joy of wielding power over others is observed in abusive men.

Tbh though, Arnav doesn't have any charm. Shyam has all the charm in the world and that's interesting considering he's a villain.

Often we excuse this behavior by comparing them to worse portrayals when again abuse usually escalates with time. For example, at least Arnav didn't violate Khushi's consent. How different were Shyam and Arnav? Weren't they both ultimately two sides of the same coin? Isn't this afterall a way to build tolerance towards worse behavior? Shyam is the 'bad' guy because he plans things deliberately, but aren't Arnav's actions also not something he is accountable for?

Fun fact, Arnav and Shyam were written to mirror each other in multiple situations. It was very intentional of the creators to draw a thin line between the anti-hero and villain and to be honest, at one point we all simply believed Arnav is the hero of the story only because he is Khushi's choice.

I wish Arnav's actions were far more accountable for - hence the guesthouse and resignation scenes are some of my favorites.

We don't talk much about Arnav and Anjali here. They are incredibly close, but the co-dependency is discernible. He is obligated to her for being the 'mother' but she is his first and Khushi the second. It does perhaps from trauma but Anjali has a lot of control over Arnav and he is guilt-ridden if she is hurt. We blame Khushi for her mistakes but do we ever consider that it is her desparation to receive unconditional love which is missing.

Arnav and Anjali have developed codependency over their trauma -which is what Shyam exploits.

Coming to Khushi, she is often criticized for her world revolving around Arnav, being infantilized, that she should 'stand up' etc. However, it's not a new fact that abusive relationships can be incredibly difficult to leave and can have a huge physical and emptional impact on a person's self-esteem. Is this not victim blaming? We also dismiss the impact Arnav's family has on Khushi. Anjali,Akash,Dadi -all had a role to play as their support was conditional or inadequate.

Hmm interesting. To share my opinion and take on this - my gripe with Khushi rarely comes from considering her and Arnav as real people and assessing their relationship as such. My gripe is with the writing in the show coming to Khushi. Khushi recessing to childlike behavior is a signal of trauma that @honeybellexox had once brilliantly discussed.

But the show is not portraying the delicate pained layers of emotions you described. The rest of the family is left out to hype TRP forced romance or family politics (not plot) and Khushi's weight of being in an abusive relationship is seriously traded for terrible writing which things suicide is funny, pissing off an abusive husband is hilarious.

We do not SEE Khushi's behavior as a response to a terrible marriage. We are made to see this is how Khushi is 'one upping' against Arnav by irritating him the way she poured juice in his shoes. And wow how intelligent.

There's no depth, no gravity, nothing in Khushi. She becomes hollow - not because of the pain you aptly put above - but due to a very Star Plus enforced 'bahu' trope.

Victim blaming would be wondering why Khushi didn't shove Shyam off the terrace scene and froze when Shyam hugged her - no, any reaction she had at that point is absolutely justified!

But wondering why Khushi acts around Arnav post revelation that she is having an affair of Shyam instead of providing facts or actual reasonings is a flaw in the show. Why? Because the intention of the show at that point was to ensure that Arnav's misunderstanding does not break and he is 'justified' in the audience's eye to mistreat Khushi. Now that is a problem.

The complication of Payal being married into the same family, lack of societal, financial and family support almost meant that Khushi had no choice but to humor situations and find happiness in meaningless trivalities. He child-like behavior and adherence to patriarchal traditions/rituals was her only resort to be accepted. That is so ingrained in her mind, that any attempt to tilt the balance might cause her more problems. Perhaps Khushi's character arc was realistic.

I absolutely wish the show showed the nuance you are writing. Her dancing to Nani for Holi was beautiful - it conveys everything you're saying. Her force-feeding Arnav mid meeting, forbidding anyone to give him food, then eating up food that can feed upto five people and still tasting the food before she gives him to eat is... ridiculous and demeaning as a character.

I do disagree with you on Khushi's arc because her arc, after a moment, is stunted to serve Arnav as a character. An excellent character that displays everything you wrote is Gauri from Ishqbaaz. They lend her the grace and gravity that one can only dream of in Khushi.

(I'll show it to you!!! You'll absolutely love it - it's a solid recommend from @aye-masakalii)

It wasn't the lack of strength or that she had certain traits. Her reality and worth had been controlled, toyed with and manipulated that she no longer could see things clearly which made her sink deeper into the marriage. Should the IPK writers be criticized for mirroring the reality many women still live in or is it an eye-opener which makes us very uncomfortable in acknowleding the sad reality that many women meet the same fate?

Our innate optimism makes us favor the idealized world that Arnav and Khushi were a fairytale. Perhaps they do end up being together but is that the only yardstick to measure marriage? More questions than answers, but isn't is critical to shift the repsonisbility towards Arnav rather than victim-blame Khushi? Love, RDX

I loved your analysis, and if the writing hadn't been so flat and actually conveyed everything you wrote - I would've never wanted Arnav and Khushi together.

Lol, maybe that's why my edits and fanfics exist.

Arnav needed to be held more accountable and Khushi needed to be written further as an independent character - these are perhaps some of my main grievances against the show only because they proved they could do it.

Best,

Soapy

[lightshiningforth]

Thoughts on Inside Out 2 (spoilers!)

I liked it! Not as much as the first, though, for a couple reasons.

I feel like the first film had a better handle on its message and the way it went about sharing it. The emotions, headed by Joy, believe that Riley should be happy at all times. When Joy and Sadness get booted from headquarters and have to travel through Riley’s mind to save the core memories and return, their journey together is crucial to showing that Sadness is a necessary emotion with positive impacts for Riley (Sadness can motivate Bing Bong to keep going by empathizing with him while Joy can’t do the same with her incessant positive spin; several “Joy” memories start out as “Sadness” memories). Meanwhile, Fear, Anger, and Disgust can’t run headquarters alone, and Riley becomes numb (console dead, unable to feel anything) and makes risky choices (trying to run away). It’s only when Sadness and Joy return and she gets to really feel sad that she snaps out of it (message: feeling sad is worthwhile and important). It’s only when all emotions work together that she becomes a healthy kid again (message: you’ve got to feel all emotions to be okay).

The second movie doesn’t work quite as well. The ideas behind it are good. The way Anxiety tries to protect Riley but ends up hurting her, and the representation of both the panic attack and then the grounding afterwards, are great. The notion that Riley needs her less-than-perfect memories and must grow into a sense of self that’s more complicated than “I’m a good person” is also solid. However, several of the new emotions are superfluous, and the journey that Joy, Anger, Fear, and Disgust go on inside Riley’s mind is a pale copy of the one Joy and Sadness go on in the first film.

When it comes to the new emotion takeover, Anxiety runs the show. Ennui contributes nothing to Riley but sarcasm and indifferent responses, something Disgust surely could have done. Envy COULD have been impactful, if she and Anxiety had worked together to create a new sense of self fueled by jealousy and worry… but instead she’s limited to remarks like “Oh, I wish we had hair like that,” while Anxiety handles all the action. Embarrassment is the one to realize that what Anxiety is doing is wrong and help the original emotions, which makes sense - he’s the one stuck feeling the shame of how Riley is behaving, after all. Yet I still think the originals could have saved the day without him. Overall, Anxiety is a one-emotion show. She could have been the ONLY new emotion and the movie still would have been basically the same.

As for the Joy/Anger/Fear/Disgust journey (Sadness being absent on her own side quest), it’s pretty pointless. The only thing the emotions learn about each other is that it’s hard work for Joy to be happy all the time, which we already knew. Joy is also the one to have the Big Revelation of the film - that Riley is growing a new sense of self that the emotions can’t and shouldn’t try to control - and the other three don’t contribute much at all.

I think it would have been interesting if, instead of introducing new emotions, we had a plot in which Fear and Disgust team up and take over. There’s a new, more powerful console. Riley has more complex social situations to navigate. Maybe, they think, Joy shouldn’t be in charge (though she’s much better at sharing the console with the others than in the first film, she remains clearly their de facto leader). Fear and Disgust working together and creating stronger reactions on the new console could CREATE anxiety, not as a personified emotion but as an impact. Anger might be on their side initially - he does question Joy several times throughout the actual film - but then pivot to realize that Joy and Sadness (who would, of course, be trying to restore balance to Riley) are right. Anger could take on the role of Embarrassment (switching sides, saving the day) but more fleshed out. All of them could still realize that repressing Riley’s less-than-perfect memories was the wrong call and her sense of self can and will change in a way beyond their control. This way, though, Fear, Anger, and Disgust could be important to the plot. They feel extraneous in the movie, as-is.

Unrelated, I also found it odd that the sequel totally ignores the concept of core memories and personality islands. The Friendship Island should have been shaken up, surely, as Riley’s relationship with Grace and Bree fractures? Or perhaps Hockey Island should have gotten bigger as Riley decides that hockey is all that matters to proving her worth? It felt like the filmmakers shrugged off the lore of the previous movie in favor of the “sense of self” thing.

[tonydaddingham]

the reading comprehension on this godforsaken website is genuinely insane. it's such shit ppl went after you for responding. fwiw you singlehandedly restored my faith in the GO fandom a little while back, some of the only well thought-out takes for miles (til i started clicking on the reblogs n found more). there was nothing wrong with defending yourself from people who didn't even read the meta. for something you put this much effort into, it'd be weirder not to be defensive

ive sat on the whole thing over the last dozen or so hours now, with a good mixture of upset, anger, some kind of numbness, and incredible amounts of anxiety. i posted that response out of the second; i was really angry, and i flew off the handle. whilst i don't appreciate being told by the other anon that i shouldn't be so attached/shouldn't have been so upset, they have a point, and were right to highlight (intentionally or not) at the very least that that is the root of the problem. i likened the fiasco to some secondary school bullshit, but i didn't realise - or want to acknowledge - that that applied to me too. the whole thing has reawakened ancient history that i thought i had gotten over years ago - more than a decade ago, even - and it very much turns out that that isn't the case, and was simply buried. the uncomfortable thing i also ran into is that the incident has made me re-examine myself with a little more, and definitely overdue, scrutiny - the post attacked at what i now think was my ego, and my over-confidence, and sense of entitlement. that's so uncomfortable to admit, but here we are.

i don't mind people disagreeing with me, but i still stand firm that i don't think sending an ask ridiculing someone, or adding tags that equally can be interpreted as being plain unkind, is a nice thing to do. it's shit - i felt humiliated, and self-conscious in a fandom that until this point, for all my controversial takes 😂 - had made me feel that i had a space to share them, and whilst may not be agreed with, would still be valued by nature of them belonging to a person. i have no doubt that everything on that post wasn't at all personal, but it still felt that what i had spent a lot of time, excitement, and joy writing was worthy of being laughed at, as if i were stupid for writing it (let me be clear - idc if people think the original post and the take within it is wrong, that's absolutely fair enough). it then called into question - what else have people been nice to me about, politely interacting with me about, and yet elsewhere those same people are being horrible about it?

that line of overthinking is entirely my issue, that's noone else's fault, but i do think that had these people just simply kept their opinion to a DM, or somewhere else where the original poster is unlikely/not going to see it, it might have all been avoided. people are entitled to share their opinion, i have no issues with that fact, but it can have consequences... just like the consequences of me rb'ing it once the anger had set in, and i ceased to think rationally. i am sorry that i reacted out of anger, without much - if any - rational thought; that it was bitchy as fuck, and - without the maelstrom of emotion attached to it, as it was from my perspective - it was objectively uncalled for. im embarrassed i reacted like that, and im aware that its only served to make me come across as even more ridiculous than the original post ever could 😂 but i want to settle in with what this has brought up, especially the shitty stuff that i thought i had long gotten over, and look at why i reacted the way i did - i think i was right to defend myself, but perhaps not in the way that i did.

as a separate note, and just really as a PSA to anyone waiting on me in my ask box or has sent me messages - im going to halt on posting any original posts/asks for a while (knowing me, because i can't help myself, a 'while' will probably be like a day). that's in part because im shitting bricks about posting anything in general (this ask response included), but also because - like i said before - i don't want to continue posting stuff when im now wondering how much is coming from a less-than-humble place - im worried that it's a lot more than i ever thought, which is vulnerable, but that's how it goes.