#ch33.start

[k423s]

misteln on project stigma

[dufferpuffer]

Harry, whose attention had been focused entirely on the two beside the window, saw his father: slight, black-haired like Snape, but with that indefinable air of having been well-cared-for, even adored, that Snape so conspicuously lacked.

(DH, ch33)

Thinking a lot about this recently. How much it says about his family. Because you can be frightfully poor - and still cared for. Still loved.

Contrast to Remus, who was also incredibly poor (he was an adult here, and likely did all this himself, but still):

The stranger was wearing an extremely shabby set of wizard's robes which had been darned in several places. [...] ... there was a small, battered case held together with a large quantity of neatly knotted string. The name 'Professor R. J. Lupin' was stamped across one corner in peeling letters.

(PoA, ch5)

He is shabby. His clothes and things are threadbare and faded. But they aren't unloved. The holes in his clothes are darned. He hasn't fought with his case to keep it shut with string - he has carefully, neatly knotted every string. His name is stamped on it.

Severus isn't ever described with that level of care. Like Harry, he is described as wearing clothes that aren't even his - for Harry it's Dudley's too-big hand-me-downs, for Snape its his (probably) fathers coat and mothers smocklike blouse. (DH, ch33)

Harry's guardians didn't care for him. Through this parallel - neither did Severus'.

His grey, shabby, threadbare hand-me-downs weren't carefully darned, patched or taken in to fit his body. His name wasn't stitched into his collar or stamped on his bags - his things were not his.

Harry had his parents' love in the form of their money left behind, so he could start fresh with his own things, his own identity. Severus did not have this love, either. No matter the state of his robes, whether money had been scrounged to get him a set all his own, he carried his lack of care on his being.

...that indefinable air of having been well-cared-for, even adored, that Snape so conspicuously lacked.

It's a powerfully descriptive sentence. As cute as the image of his mother giving a shit about him is - it's quite clear he was neglected by both parents, not just because of poverty. Poverty doesn't cause a lack of love. His mother at least spoke to him about the Magical world, but she never imprinted 'being adored' into his heart, his being.

Even Tom had that love. His mother poured her love into him with her dying breath, named him and made sure he would be cared for. He rejected that love - a powerful image, especially in this series. An image Snape once again both defies and parallels.

He was not loved by his mother yet took pride in her, stamping his book with his self-chosen title and name based on her lineage - a little like Remus' stamping his bag with his new title and name, and a little like Tom picking a new identity.

Excuse this tangent: he gives me Morgott (Elden Ring) energy - who was basically scorned by his mother for being born with horns, literally thrown in the trash by her and her 'religion' - yet dedicated his life to them, doing what he thought was right, worshiping at the alter that scorned him, wearing their name with misplaced pride. Meanwhile his twin brother, Mohg, shed his mother's name and found his own love. Made his own title. Started his own cult family, with blackjack, hookers and a LOT of blood. Lord of Blood, making his own alter to be worshiped at. Tom-like.

Uh yeah anyway - Severus wasn't loved and it's very sad, yet he dedicates his life to doing loving things even as a grumpy pants.

[taradactyls]

The full Bennet Family Finances endnote from Ch33

I’ve been doing some more maths (ch26 has the initial discussion) on the savings that our characters might do/should’ve done since it’s fascinating to me and some of the comments I’ve been getting have been making me think more about it. One of the common themes is surprise at just how negligent the Bennets were at saving, instead of merely being stretched thin by expenses. I understand this completely, as it isn’t something that’s explicit in an easily recognisable way for modern audiences.

So, where could they have been more economical? They don’t go to London, no one has a gambling addiction, all travelling (which was EXPENSIVE) is done cost effectively, and they certainly didn’t spend all the money on tutors and the like for their daughters. I’m sure there’s actual academic papers by historians on this (I miss my uni access to those so much) but I can take some educated guesses.

We know Mrs Bennet is just bad with household management. Part of which might mean ordering too much food (it’s mentioned she keeps a good table, so this is as close to canon as we can get) and perhaps not being efficient with what she does order, ie wanting different meats from night to night, instead of having the leftovers served as stews or whatnot, not keeping an eye on the prices of sugar, salt, etc to buy when they’re cheap, making special orders instead of purchasing what’s readily available, etc. We know none of the Bennet women assist in the kitchen (as the Lucases do) so that’s more work for servants and thus likely to contribute to the need of an extra servant or higher wages. Household management could also be more innocuous things like always buying the expensive bees-wax candles, instead of using tallow when guests aren’t around or in out-of-the-way rooms. And being inefficient with candle usage (this is likely a Mr Bennet flaw too, if he enjoys reading in his library at night) in order to have a room better lit than strictly necessary. There was a reason families all tended to gather in one room after dark, and the Bennets notably don’t. Also having fires in all the principal rooms instead of just the ones likely to be used that day. If there’s ways to be inefficient with funds when it comes to cleaning, I’m sure they found a way there, too. Basically, anything that requires forward planning to help with economy would be lacking.

 But that’s all ‘essentials’ just done inefficiently, what luxuries might they have had? They have the income to warrant their carriage, horses, and it seems Mr Bennet does hunt, but that’s also a standard expense for his wealth, so let’s focus on what might be pushing them to their limits. Other than the over-provisioned dining table, which we’ve mentioned, nothing about their socialising habits seems excessive. Mrs Bennet’s love of fashion could be pushing her wardrobe bill up, Mr Bennet’s love of books could be a VERY expensive hobby, and of course – five daughters out at once. Having five daughters out (especially unnecessarily as Lydia and even Kitty were quite young to be out) cost a LOT of money. Lady Catherine was rude as anything, but her surprise at the fact was warranted. Other than money, it also meant the daughters were in direct ‘competition’ for the same limited amount of suitors, which theoretically might hurt the elder girls’ chances. Five distinct wardrobes for young women which needed gowns for all occasions, going through dance shoes and gloves very quickly, bonnets, etc, all added up. At the start of the book multiple hundreds of pounds a year would be going to keeping their daughters looking the part while mixing in society.

But Jane’s only twenty-one or twenty-two at the start of the novel, and came out at fifteen at the earliest. Yet the Bennets still never saved money, and never overspent their income, so there were other expenses they were able to drop which had been preventing them from saving money for the first sixteen or so years of their marriage. I think it’s fair to assume there’s random, one-time bigger expenses that were undertaken with any substantial spare money: perhaps the hermitage Mrs Bennet mentions is a newer addition, was the coach (which are normally ordered around the start of a marriage) refitted more recently, how often is the décor of Longbourn updated (and on that note, are things like the sofa reupholstered or completely replaced), do they impulse buy vases and sculptures, make sure whatever alcohol they do buy (which appears to be a reasonable amount for their class) is the expensive stuff, etc. Whatever it is, it’s a both parent problem. Mrs Bennet is bad at money management and instead of changing her habits or preparing her daughters for financial hardship puts pressure on them to marry (preferably rich, but she doesn’t seem to have a complaint about Wickham in that regard). Mr Bennet is smart enough to see that there is a problem and how to fix it, but after his first idea fails (have a son to break the entail and thus provide for his widow and other children – which doesn’t even necessarily mean the girls would get a dowry, just that they would never live in poverty) does nothing to reassess the issue or find a solution. He essentially shrugs his shoulders and lets his daughters shift for themselves. One parent is too stressed about money and only addresses it negatively, and the other isn’t stressed enough and doesn’t address it seriously at all. Neither do anything productive, even though changing their habits would be enough to fix it. I love them, but MASSIVE parenting failure on their end; and hinted to occur because the parents were too used to comforts and different themselves to be able to work together and act on a solution.

Now for some actual MATHS! Which, yes, I realise I am strangely excited about.

The idea that most of the Bennets’ money is spent by having so many daughters out at once seems to keep popping up in my time on the internet. So, I thought it would be interesting to see what their dowries could be if that five-daughters-out-at-once money wasn’t spent on other things before any daughters were out. Costs of this could vary a bit between families, and though we know Lydia’s expenses were almost £100 per annum that includes board and food as well as little gifts from Mrs Bennet, so we can’t simply multiply that by five and be done with it. But, given Mrs Bennet’s desire for fashion and the poor financial management we see from her and some of her daughters, it’s quite possible clothes were being bought new rather than pulled apart and remade more than they ought to be, so spending £50 to £60 a year on each daughter being ‘out’ seems reasonable. For the purposes of this, let’s look at a total of £250 and £300 a year for all five, and in the 4%s because that’s where the money settled on Mrs Bennet apparently is. After sixteen years of marriage (when we will assume Jane comes out) that’s £5,456 or £6,547. Meaning that just doubled their dowry, even if they save nothing else after that. If the interest is left alone, that’s more than £1,000 that’s added to it before the novel even begins. Suddenly Mr Bennet dying at the start of the novel would leave his widow and daughters with between £11,500-£13,000 instead of the meagre £5,000 they actually have.

And the girls didn’t all come out at once, so just to put some numbers to it for math purposes, let’s say Elizabeth came out one year after Jane, Mary two years after her, Kitty another two years later, and Lydia the following year. For simplicity, each girl coming out is going to remove the same amount of money (when realistically it’s likely Jane, who needs everything new, and Lydia, who’s spoilt, would have cost the most). With the lower estimates of expenses, that’s £8,062 saved at the time of the novel, taking the total for Mrs Bennet and the girls to £13,602 or £2,612 each, assuming nothing else is saved. At the higher cost for the girls being out, that’s £9,676 saved and £14,676 that they’ll eventually inherit a share of. Still below what they should have as dowries, but a vast improvement, and proof of why having five daughters out at once was an additional strain but not THE strain. It was just another element in a mountain of problems.

“But what if it was in the 5%s?” asks no one but me. I think they would stick to the more stable bonds Mrs Bennet’s dowry is in, but if they didn’t, the same situation as above would save £9,243 (or £14,243 total) or £11,090 (£16,090 to share or £3,218 each).

For pure funsies, the numbers if Mr and Mrs Bennet had also saved the interest of the £5,000 settled upon her (which by itself would grow to £12,324 in the 4%s) in addition to these savings are:

£20,387 (£4,077 each at the start of the novel) with the £250 expenses estimate. At £300 for all five daughters out, we get to £21,998. Both of these numbers suddenly mean the Miss Bennets would never have to fear poverty when Mr Bennet died and they would individually each be as rich as their mother was, and though they wouldn’t be counted as rich themselves, would at least have something respectable. They might not cost their husbands money to marry.

AND THEN if everything is in the 5%s but that original £5,000, and the interest it gains is also moved to the higher interest account, the grand total would be either £22,528, again assuming the £250 expenses, and £24,376 at the £300 estimate.

I’ve been doing some equations for Darcy, too. So, let’s talk about that next chapter, to give me time to really figure it out.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hello!

I was wondering if you have any headcanons about possible scars Hermione got by being tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange during the Skirmish at Malfoy Manor. Honestly, Emma Watson's idea of Hermione bearing a cut with the word Mudblood seemed a bit drastic, but what idea do you have from the book for Hermione's scarring or reminders from the interrogation?

I think the people working on the movie just had fun with the fact that Bellatrix had a knife in the scene and thought the book scene wasn't bad enough (for some reason). If I had to guess, I'd say Hermione bears no physical scars at all — After all, we know Bellatrix's preferred method of torture doesn't leave a scar — the Cruciatus Curse. At least, not a visible scar.

Looking at the torture scene from Malfoy Manor, I always assumed Bellatrix's weapon of torture was the Cruciatus Curse, as usual, not her knife:

She cut Hermione free from the other prisoners, then dragged her by the hair into the middle of the room [...] The echoing bang of the slammed cellar door had not died away before there was a terrible, drawn out scream from directly above them. [...] Hermione screamed again from overhead, and they could hear Bellatrix screaming too, but her words were inaudible, for Ron shouted again, “HERMIONE! HERMIONE!” [...] From upstairs they heard Bellatrix’s voice. “I’m going to ask you again! Where did you get this sword? Where?” “We found it—we found it—PLEASE!” Hermione screamed again; [...] From above came Bellatrix’s voice. “You’re lying, filthy Mudblood, and I know it! You have been inside my vault at Gringotts! Tell the truth, tell the truth!” Another terrible scream— [...] Hermione was screaming again: The sound went through Harry like physical pain. Barely conscious of the fierce prickling of his scar, he too started to run around the cellar, feeling the walls for he hardly knew what, knowing in his heart that it was useless. “What else did you take, what else? ANSWER ME! CRUCIO!” Hermione’s screams echoed off the walls upstairs [...] and upstairs Hermione was screaming worse than ever

(DH, Ch23)

The scene reads like Hermione was tortured with Crucio; we know Bellatrix used the spell at least once, and Harry mentions her shouting earlier than that during the scene (both in red). Harry describes Hermione's scream being painful, agonising to hear — as often happens with victims of the Cruciatus Curse.

Whenever characters are placed under the Cruciatus, their screams are described the same way:

“Crucio!” said the cold voice. Wormtail screamed, screamed as though every nerve in his body were on fire, the screaming filled Harry’s ears as the scar on his forehead seared with pain;

(GoF, Ch29)

“Crucio!” The Death Eater on the ground writhed and shrieked; Harry was sure the sound must carry to the houses around. . . .

(GoF, Ch33)

As Amycus spun around, Harry shouted, “Crucio!” The Death Eater was lifted off his feet. He writhed through the air like a drowning man, thrashing and howling in pain, and then, with a crunch and a shattering of glass, he smashed into the front of a bookcase and crumpled, insensible, to the floor.

(DH, Ch30)

Additionally, when Bellatrix is disarmed, it's only of her wand:

“Expelliarmus!” he [Ron] roared, pointing Wormtail’s wand at Bellatrix, and hers flew into the air and was caught by Harry, who had sprinted after Ron.

(DH, Ch23)

Only once Bellatrix lost hold of her wand did she pull out her knife to threaten Hermione with:

“STOP OR SHE DIES!” Panting, Harry peered around the edge of the sofa. Bellatrix was supporting Hermione, who seemed to be unconscious, and was holding her short silver knife to Hermione’s throat.

(DH, Ch23)

The knife wasn't in her hand when Ron and Harry burst into the room, otherwise, she would've been disarmed of it when she lost her wand.

Hermione's state of unconsciousness also fits the idea that she had multiple Crucios cast on her in relatively quick succession but for a short time each. It fits other responses we see to the curse:

Voldemort raised his wand. The tortured Death Eater lay flat upon the ground, gasping.

(GoF, Ch33)

And then it was gone. He was hanging limply in the ropes binding him to the headstone of Voldemort’s father, looking up into those bright red eyes through a kind of mist. The night was ringing with the sound of the Death Eaters’ laughter.

(GoF, Ch33)

Bellatrix raised her wand. “Crucio!” Neville screamed, his legs drawn up to his chest so that the Death Eater holding him was momentarily holding him off the ground. The Death Eater dropped him and he fell to the floor, twitching and screaming in agony. “That was just a taster!” said Bellatrix, raising her wand so that Neville’s screams stopped and he lay sobbing at her feet.

(OotP, Ch35)

So, yeah, I don't think there is any physical mark. I mean, Bellatrix is very proficient with the Cruciatus Curse, she likes it — why would she use any other means of torture when this one always worked for her?

[decayflower]

mentorship and rivalry

[an amateur meta piece on qi huilian, hai liangyi, shen zechuan, yao wenyu, and xue xiuzhuo. spoilers for all of qjj.]

i had this thought while thinking about the old rivalry between qi huilian and hai liangyi, and how it influenced their personal stances and teachings towards their pupils - some who even go on to take in pupils themselves.

qi huilian and hai liangyi's rivalry backstory is mostly in ch88, which sums up how they used to compete in academics. qi huilian excelled at the imperial examinations, meanwhile hai liangyi was unremarkable, but qi huilian is later demoted from the capital, and hai liangyi started to rise through the ranks. still, the former crown prince chose qi huilian as his teacher.

"Hai Liangyi came second to me his entire life. But he is a gentleman. When the Eastern Palace fell, the crown prince was condemned by all. Only Hai Liangyi believed there was still hope in him—that he wasn't beyond redemption. On the basis of this alone, I cannot compare to him. Between us, there is no superiority or inferiority, only mutual appreciation. But alas, heaven is blind. Though we share the same path, we cannot walk it together." [qi huilian, ch88]

"Only Hai Liangyi believed there was still hope in him—that he wasn't beyond redemption." this statement also gives reason as to why hai liangyi decides to also become a mentor for li jianheng. he was the only one, during li jianheng's early ascension, who believed that he could become a good emperor.

The loyal ministers of the court, led by Hai Liangyi, all watched Li Jianheng. In their eyes, he was perhaps a hopeless case. But Hai Liangyi had raised both hands to prop Li Jianheng up with that aging frame, urging him to hang on, to turn over a new lead, to be an emperor who would leave a glorious legacy. [ch33]

more on this later. now let's turn to each their pupils. qi huilian has only ever taken two pupils: the former crown prince, and shen zechuan. there is emphasis on the fact that the former crown prince chose qi huilian to be the grand mentor despite him already being demoted at that time, and shen zechuan, in the temple of guilt, similarly chose qi huilian, stating: "if xiansheng will be my scroll, i will be his sword." [ch7]

and, i want to specifically point out this part:

"In this lifetime, I've taught only two students. Both times I imparted to them all the knowledge I learned over the whole course of my life. The first time, I thought too highly of myself and was unwilling to compromise, and it was precisely through this pride that I caused my student such great harm." [qi huilian, ch88]

"I thought too highly of myself and was unwilling to compromise, and it was precisely through this pride that I caused my student such great harm." this statement actually very closely describes someone—xue xiuzhuo. he came from a humble background and had a late education, which is why he and yao wenyu had the opportunity to be classmates despite yao wenyu being younger. though the two could be considered childhood friends, they were opposites in every way.

yao wenyu was favored by hai liangyi due to his family, and this sparked resentment in xue xiuzhuo due to him being just a bastard son of the xue clan. he asked to be hai liangyi's pupil 3 times, but was rejected all times. hai liangyi took yao wenyu as his pupil, but he kept him away from the court.

Unlike Hua Siqian, he kept no apprentices, and had only one student—Yao Wenyu. Yet because Hai Liangyi wished to avoid a conflict of interest, Yao Wenyu had stayed away from court politics despite his extraordinary talent. [ch33]

xue xiuzhuo dedicated himself to politics, establishing himself as a capable official. this was around the time hai liangyi acknowledged his abilities too. but, despite all his efforts, he was mistreated again and again by hua siqian and his cohort. as a result he grew disillusioned by the state of the court and started to grow ambitions to dismantle the system.

but what makes xue xiuzhuo and yao wenyu so different? let's look at it from the officials' perspective:

Jiang Qingshan did not hold Yao Wenyu in high esteem, or even read Yao Wenyu's essays, because they were the practical doers rather than the idealistic talkers. To officials like them, Yao Wenyu was not as important as Xue Xiuzhuo was, even if Yao Wenyu was truly a genius. [ch148]

although hai liangyi kept yao wenyu away from politics to avoid a conflict of interest, yao wenyu still got judgment from the officials because he was perceived as an idealist who did not want to do anything for the nation. what's important here is that yao wenyu staying away from court is indeed a choice, and one that he does have a right to, but qudu is so obsessed with politics that if you're a genius and you don't want to engage with politics, you suck.

so! what does yao wenyu aspire to, if not politics? he actually takes after his teacher. although hai liangyi is the secretariat elder, he is first and foremost a gentleman who cares about the masses, doesn't discriminate against those of common birth, and always has hope for the imperial bloodline to reign in a rightful and just way, which is why he mentored li jianheng after his ascension. no one taught him how to be emperor, and the officials thought he was hopeless, but hai liangyi went on to instruct him in the classics.

despite being the "unofficial pupil" of hai liangyi, having received promotions from him time and time again, xue xiuzhuo looks down on hai liangyi for being too rigid in his thinking. he thinks that this teacher of his is too orthodox to share his mind that the empire must be overturned.

yao wenyu is much like hai liangyi. he is also a gentleman who cares for the masses, but xue xiuzhuo thinks him as orthodox as his teacher, as such, both were obstacles to his goal.

there is something interesting. xue xiuzhuo is remarked to have qi huilian's shadow in him [ch148] and i fully agree. since yao wenyu fully takes after hai liangyi's traits, xue xiuzhuo is much more like qi huilian, who is ruthless enough to treat people as pawns and show partiality to those he deems worthy/shared his ideals. he is equally ruthless towards himself, giving everything into the pursuit of his so-called practical ideas to remove the emperor and put his own heir on the throne. they had this conversation, after hai liangyi committed suicide:

"One day, I will die." Xue Xiuzhuo said in a raspy voice. "Regardless of whether I will be forsaken and deserted by all, or bring ruin and infamy upon myself, I will walk along this path to the very end. "You stop at nothing to kill others and yourself." Yao Wenyu released his grip on the chess piece. "You won't be able to save all of the so-called masses in the world." [ch148]

"It's a draw today. The victor has yet to be determined." Xue Xiuzhuo stopped in his tracks. He did not look back. "But since there's Xue Yanqing in the world, what need is there to keep a Yao Yuanzhuo around? You and I do not share the same path. After tonight, there is no need for us to see each other again." [ch148]

"Since there's Xue Yanqing in the world, what need is there to keep a Yao Yuanzhuo around?" this sounds incredibly conceited coming from the man himself, but that is truly how the officials saw it. if yao wenyu did not have the intention to enter the court, then he is lesser than the scholars who dared to enter the court, and practically useless with xue xiuzhuo among their ranks.

i also want to draw a parallel between "You and I do not share the same path," spoken by xue xiuzhuo to yao wenyu, and "Though we share the same path, we cannot walk it together," spoken by qi huilian about hai liangyi. although qi huilian and hai liangyi were academic rivals, they had mutual appreciation for each other. it was just that they cannot walk the path together due to hai liangyi being a secretariat of the court, and qi huilian had long lost his flame.

recall that xue xiuzhuo asked qi huilian to teach li jianting, initially. i think that xue xiuzhuo is placing himself as qi huilian's "pupil" here, in the sense that qi huilian is the one he is taking after, against yao wenyu who takes after hai liangyi. the enmity between yao wenyu and xue xiuzhuo is taken to an extreme due to xue xiuzhuo's own radical thinking that mirrored qi huilian. it was just that he lacked empathy, foresight, and trust in others which i'll get into shortly.

xue xiuzhuo's mentality is thus: those who had to be killed, will be killed. to him, it's a dog eat dog world, because he had experienced the hardship of climbing to the top of power with nothing but drive alone, and was beaten back down again and again. li jianheng was no good as emperor, so he must be killed. hai liangyi was an orthodox man who didn't want to replace the emperor, so he must die. yao wenyu would not act in any way of help to him, so he must be killed. but xue xiuzhuo was fair and treated everyone as pawns—he himself is a pawn. in other words, those who can take him down will become the winner.

ironically, it's because he has this mentality that his efforts fail to amount to anything in the end. something that i found interesting is how teacher-disciple relationships in qjj are often highlighted as being like a father-son relationship, if not just as close. the most direct example is actually ji gang who, as shen zechuan's shifu, is as good as a father. yao wenyu also said thus: "serving one's teacher is akin to serving one's father." [ch83]

xue xiuzhuo taught li jianting from a young age in order to shape her into becoming a great sovereign of dazhou, one that fits his expectations. but although she called him "teacher", he did not consider her a pupil or daughter, and it's all due to his belief that "there is no place in the court for teacher and pupil, only the sovereign and his ministers." [ch22]

so, in the end, when xue xiuzhuo surrendered to shen zechuan for li jianting's sake, he did so as a subject and not as her teacher. the thing to be noted is that he did essentially what qi huilian did in ch96 by giving up his life and honor for the sake of his pupil—so, once again, he is embodying qi huilian—and yet he failed to be a teacher in li jianting's life: a guardian to look up to, an idol to embody. he was just someone who guided her and taught her how to be an emperor. she did not receive any sort of "fatherly love" that qi huilian gave to shen zechuan and hai liangyi gave to yao wenyu, and in return, they showed filial piety to their xiansheng.

even li jianheng acknowledged hai liangyi like a father, just that he felt like he was still too foolish— "just a few days ago i was memorizing classics. ... i really did want to call him my second father." [ch96]

even though neither li jianting nor xue xiuzhuo felt like they needed this kind of bond, it is what ultimately made them fall - that they lacked a genuine familial relationship to sustain them on a deeper, emotional level.

She and Xue Xiuzhuo mutually complemented each other, but they did not have even a smidgen of teacher-pupil bond. Xue Xiuzhuo had no need for it, and so did Li Jianting. Even to this moment, Xue Xiuzhuo was still doing what he was as a "subject." [ch280]

there's also something else: trust. xue xiuzhuo micromanaged and scrutinized every step of li jianting's ascension to the throne because he's paranoid like that, and he has such a fixation on everything going right the way he thinks of it. the fact that he could not trust in his own heir indicated that he had not been even the best teacher. although xue xiuzhuo took on qi huilian's traits of ruthlessness in using people as pawns, ultimately sacrificing themselves for li jianting and shen zechuan individually, xue xiuzhuo could not let li jianting go to achieve what she really wanted, which is the power to liberate herself—an ambition VERY much like shen zechuan's.

Qi Huilian dared to do anything, and the driving force behind his insane actions was his trust in Shen Zechuan. Lanzhou was not his pawn. And it was precisely because of this that Qi Huilian left nothing behind for Lanzhou. Shen Zechuan did not need restraints. [ch280]

xue xiuzhuo still used li jianting as a pawn, but lanzhou was not qi huilian's pawn. he was his pupil, the only living person to receive all of his teachings to go and overturn the empire. he was his heir apparent. in the end, it was shen zechuan who came out of his shell to become someone truly worthy of the throne, to take control of his life and fate—something that li jianting failed to do even as emperor because she had stayed under xue xiuzhuo's finger and was also constricted by her own doubts and fears. but shen zechuan dared to pave his own way to the top, overturning dazhou for good and starting a new regime for peace and prosperity.

xue xiuzhuo is not the only pupil who had his own pupil. yao wenyu started to teach xiao xun when shen zechuan's ascension to the throne was imminent, because he has the foresight to know that shen zechuan needed an heir if he were to land this goal of overtaking qudu.

"I know he is not the man to be an emperor, but I still wanted to assist him, because he is a natural-born overlord. Your father knew Zhongbo was on a rapid rise to power and prominence. He granted Shen Zechuan's entry into Libei, because Xiao Xun is Shen Zechuan's one and only option." "Since Lanzhou dares to head towards that position," Xiao Chiye enunciated each word, "it's his." "It's his," Yao Wenyu said, "but only if he has Xiao Xun." [ch237]

yao wenyu is meaning to do what xue xiuzhuo already did: raise a kid and teach them properly into becoming the future emperor. if they did not have xiao xun, shen zechuan wouldn't have legitimacy of power due to his lack of successors and shen name—he is not of the li clan. but it's exactly this radical thinking that helps them succeed. xue xiuzhuo criticizes hai liangyi for being rigid, but he himself is rigid in wanting to preserve the li clan as the rightful heirs to the throne, which is why he painstakingly went to find emperor guangcheng's bastard daughter and make her his heir apparent. this is how, once again, yao wenyu and xue xiuzhuo are at a draw. they are both intelligent men with foresight, but although xue xiuzhuo had qi huilian's radical thinking, he was still confined by his mindset that the imperial clan was the only clan that could rule. yao wenyu understood that shen zechuan was the only one who could actually rule by this point, and supported him to the top, teaching xiao xun to be his successor.

at the very end, once xue xiuzhuo has landed himself in prison and shen zechuan has been deemed the victor, yao wenyu was losing his life. xue xiuzhuo was also about to die, so the two met up one last time, in which xue xiuzhuo boldly declares that he does not change his mind about anything.

"Even until today," Xue Xiuzhuo raised his eyes, "I still do not approve of Teacher's path. No one can convince me in this game, and you can't either, Yuanzhuo." Yao Wenyu turned his wheelchair around and made his way out of the cell. Xue Xiuzhuo said as he looked at Yao Wenyu's back, "Heaven beget me, Xue Xiuzhuo, so take my life, call me what you will. Between you and me, who has won? I was merely defeated. My master was born at the wrong time and lost to Shen Zechuan. It was her timing that was wrong, not her fate." [ch282]

"Between you and me, who has won?" is a good question, because xue xiuzhuo and yao wenyu had spent their whole life as diametrically opposites, rivals where one stood in court and the other traveled the land. i think, in the end, they were still at a draw. neither won, for they both fought valiantly in this game of chess and lost their lives for it. xue xiuzhuo declared his surrender to shen zechuan, he did not surrender to yao wenyu. and so, shen zechuan is the winner, but the one behind the winner, the master of the pupil, was the true driving force.

Qi Huilian was the teacher of the emperor; he would only teach someone heading into that position. He reached out to Shen Zechuan not only because he was forced into a dead end but also because this was the most insane of the Grand Mentor's schemes. Qi Huilian molded Shen Lanzhou into being, and he pushed a sharp Shen Zechuan back into his sheath with the aim of obliterating all the self-resentments that sustained Shen Zechuan and kept him hanging onto life. He wanted to set Shen Zechuan's path right, so that Shen Zechuan could see himself for who he truly was. Xue Xiuzhuo did not make the wrong move; he had simply been a tad too late. Qi Huilian had long already possessed his own Heir Apparent. [ch234]

everything happened the way it did and the reason lanzhou went on the path he did, was all thanks to qi huilian's insane scheming that went over even xue xiuzhuo's head. this is why qi huilian, long after his death, is the ultimate winner of qjj.

review:

qi huilian > former crown prince

qi huilian > shen zechuan

hai liangyi > yao wenyu > xiao xun

hai liangyi > li jianheng

hai liangyi > xue xiuzhuo (with influences of qi huilian) > li jianting

[megacarapa]

senku arrives in ishigami village in ch17 (beginning of v3), after this they spend the volume getting materials for iron and making ramen, then gen arrives and idk how long he spends in the village but its probably not more than a few days, during that time they finally succeed in making iron and getting electricity, after gen leaves we get this line in ch27 about how the grand bout is next month

then they spend v4 making glass, building the lab, going on an expedition to find the sulfuric acid lake, making gas masks so they can collect it and cooking up a bunch of chemicals for ruri's medicine, then in ch33 the grand bout starts and we get this infuriating line

senku arrived ""5 months ago"" but all that v4 stuff happened in the last month so youre telling me they spent 4 months on just iron and ramen? be so fr bitches just be making up numbers by this point

[syndrossi]

resonant ch33 dvd commentary

This was a problem child of a chapter as I tried to figure out the best path toward the next set of plot points, which, combined with the work months (Nov and Dec) from hell meant it ended up a bit late and thereby thwarted my hopes of breaking 200K words of Resonant by year's end, alas.

Favorite line(s):

“I want his head,” Daemon croaked, unable to calm the racing of his heart. “I want to swing the blade that cleaves it from his shoulders. Do not deny me this, I beg of you.”

SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE THIS MAN SOMEONE'S HEAD, HE DESERVES IT. Reyne's, Crayne's, Allard's...he's not picky right now.

Daemon glanced at the red on Viserys’s white-and-gold sleeve, still bright somehow despite being half-dried. How is it that you seek to spend my blood, brother?

The "blood to be spent" is one of my favorite of the candle's refrains to weave in, and it was fun to have a literal representation here.

[The sobs] were as quiet as they were heartbreaking, each wracking him violently, as though the pain of it were trying to bend him in half.

Anyone who's had a really intense cry knows exactly what that feeling is.

Rhaegar seemed to read his expression, and his arms tightened around Qelebrys briefly, as though apprehensive, before steeling his face and turning toward his brother. It was an impulse that was all too familiar to Daemon. He does not want his brother to think him weak.

You know it's bad when Daemon is seeing parallels with him and Viserys, rather than Aemon and Baelon.

Favorite Details

Daemon's victory

As someone pointed out in the AO3 comments, this is a rare occasion where Daemon outplayed Otto, who seemed to be expecting his leaked information about Daemon being seen visit Mysaria in Flea Bottom to result in far more dire consequences for him. He didn't realize that Daemon had been withholding information of his own.

(Granted, Daemon would gladly have continued to withhold the information about the bounty on his own head, had it not been useful in the confrontation.)

Redfort brothers

Sorry, @textbookchoices, I think you were envisioning something quite different when I promised Redfort content...

I don't know, just the utter heartbreak/tragedy that was the Redfort twins' lives in those early years, where they didn't understand why people behaved so strangely and why there were so many unspoken rules. And adoring their older half-brothers, only to be utterly crushed when they never returned, convinced it was their own fault for daring to impose/ask. (When the reality was that this was near the time when Raymar's dye started failing and Allard was eager for the Redfort brothers to halt their visits anyway...)

But also the vulnerability Rhaegar/Raymar was willing to show, and the love the Daemon met it with. Raymar got a lot of much-needed affirmation this chapter, as much of an unsettling rollercoaster of emotion as it was for Rhaegar. They both needed that, and with the stress/upset over the rift with Jon, they were due for a meltdown.

Valyrian histories

I like to imagine Aegon entertained his sons with stories like that of House Dewald (the name itself me making a bad German pun, since the holdfast was near the edge of the forest aka "der Wald"), and Aenys passed it on to Jaehaerys who passed it on to his sons and grandsons. So much of that purely oral history would have been lost in the Dance, with only the children surviving.

And the Valyrians love their stories of "why you should never try to steal dragon eggs, aka because we'll kill you really, really dead."

Dynamics

Daemon and Viserys

Not Viserys's best day ever, though he's not quite as clueless as he seems in giving Reyne an extension. (His reasoning is "I'll need a little time to get a replacement ready and minimize the harm during the transition if he truly is a traitor," hence the one week for Reyne to "prove" himself.)

If things go poorly (aka proof of treason is found), Reyne could very well lose his head!

But that's little comfort to Daemon, who continues to feel (rather fairly) that Viserys won't go beyond half-measures for him, while he'll bend over backward for everyone else.

@marmari33 had a very insightful ask on the topic of how Viserys acts when Daemon is on the verge of a breakdown (aka he's most willing to act the comforting big brother then), so I won't rehash it here, but that's another complicated piece of their dynamic.

At the end of the day, the problem is still that although you can't go around beheading everyone without proof, Viserys's touch is far too light given how serious the treason that was committed by House Royce (and Redfort) under House Arryn's stewardship. Viserys being willing to cede the negotiation ground to the Vale give them the home field advantage/the sense that he's willing to be lenient.

Rhaegar and Raymar

These two have been more integrated than Jon and Jon Redfort by a wide margin, but Rhaegar was feeling it this chapter. As mentioned above, he's eight-years-old and he's in a cold war with his brother who he idolizes and doesn't trust him, which hurts, so he's primed for a breakdown. The hair dye background, which is a particular pain point for Raymar, just opened the floodgates.

Those with a keen eye will notice that Jon has also been more affected by his counterpart of late, so there may be a ticking time bomb there to reckon with...

Quick hitters

It felt almost like a simulated D&D session, the events at the end of the chapter. There were about ten different things that could have happened instead, but this is what the dice (and Daemon) landed on.

It remains ambiguous just how much of Reyne's failure is incompetence, malice, or both.

Larys is back at the Red Keep now, btw...

What was Jon so cheerful about when he found them at the enclosure? We'll find out next chapter...

Daemon's violent outbursts are never not nerve-wracking for the poor Kingsguard. Granted, he's never harmed Viserys, but the sounds of a man breaking a chair by slamming it repeatedly into the ground are not gentle.

The one thing about Daemon's hunger for Allard's head is that it doesn't take into account what the boys might want.

How did Reyne come to know of Daemon's visit? He only showed his face to the woman at the "front desk" so to speak of the establishment, and Mysaria herself. Is Mysaria still informing on Daemon to Otto for a price? Does that still make sense, given the promised rewards from Daemon? Or is it another source?

Daemon's anger tends to have an insulating effect against the candle, while despair/grief make him susceptible, and we see both sides of that coin in this chapter. Though it also remains an open question of whether there is always a warlock "manning" the candle, or if it has any passive effects.

Daemon remains best dad when it comes to finding ways to cheer up his sons. Plotting the perfect flight path to find some natural beauty for Rhaegar followed by interesting ruins of a military defeat for Jon.

The saddle refitting is complete, meaning the boys can take a field trip at any given moment...

Cut scenes/moments

“If I tell you of my own troubles with my brother, will you tell me of yours?” Daemon asked. His son’s grip tightened on the cup, then slackened. “It is nothing.”

The scene was already pretty long, and it didn't feel the right time/moment to veer into the Rhaegar-Jon conflict.

That was the provence of Allard Royce, for those years of cruelty. Lorent Reyne, for dismissing the whispers from the Vale that would have united Daemon with his sons years before. Rhea Royce, for devising such a heartless scheme, and the Redforts for aiding her in it. I will see them all burn.

Just a little extra seething from Daemon that I ended up cutting. I think it's pretty well understood within the chapter that Daemon is hungry for blood/revenge.

“He does not trust me. He thinks that I am weak.” “I am certain that is not so,” Daemon said. Rhaegar’s shrug was listless. “I understand why he believes it to be true. He is able to resist the candle, where I have failed. I was the one foolish enough to drink the cider at the Saltpans and be taken. When we were captive, he challenged Crayne and I—I feared him.” His voice grew thicker with upset, each word escaping him quickly than the last, until he was stumbling over them at the end. Daemon pulled him onto his lap, resting his chin atop his hair as he held him. “You are a child. You are allowed to be frightened.” Rhaegar twisted free, springing to his feet with fists balled tight. “Jon isn’t. He is never frightened. He thinks that he must keep me safe, whatever the cost to himself.” “I am your father. That is my duty.” Daemon caught one of his small fists, clasping it between his hands. “I will keep you safe, both of you.” His son regarded him with a solemn expression that pierced his heart. Aemon. “You will not always be there to protect us.” The chill of winter gripped Daemon suddenly, bitter and harsh in his lungs. The crimson of his blood on Viserys’s white sleeve swam before his eyes, only it was snow he saw now, stained with lifesblood, more than a body could spare. “Do not say that,” he whispered, heart seizing.

A little more of the Rhaegar-Jon conflict that I was a bit sad to see go because of the "blood to be spent" imagery melding with the Wall vision.

And there's one more cut scene (the longest) I'm holding onto in case it's relevant next chapter. If not, I'll share it in that DVD commentary!

[sevinagreatergood]

Focus on: james.bell996

Snaters have this unique excuse: Snape also went hexing people.

Which is basically a garbage reason. I could wipe myself with that like toilet paper. And the funny thing is, those fugly snaters will chalk that excuse to "Common sense" which is far from "common sense". You couldn't go further from "common sense" than they do.

Let's start with how Lily perceives DA being used on her friend Mary.

🛑“…thought we were sup­posed to be friends?” Snape was say­ing, “Best friends?”

“We are, Sev, but I don’t like some of the peo­ple you’re hang­ing round with! I’m sor­ry, but I de­test Av­ery and Mul­ciber! Mul­ciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he’s creepy! D’you know what he tried to do to Mary Mac­don­ald the oth­er day?” Lily had reached a pil­lar and leaned against it, look­ing up in­to the thin, sal­low face.

“That was noth­ing,” said Snape. “It was a laugh, that’s all – ”

“It was Dark Mag­ic, and if you think that’s fun­ny "

“What about the stuff Pot­ter and his mates get up to?” de­mand­ed Snape. His col­or rose again as he said it, un­able, it seemed, to hold in his re­sentment.

“What’s Pot­ter got to do with any­thing?” said Lily.

“They sneak out at night. There’s some­thing weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep go­ing?”

(Book: The Deathly Hollows/ ch33, page 581)

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See? Does she react calmly about it or completely goes on a venting rant simply for DA being used? Mind you, this is only Mulciber. Imagine, if she knew Snape went around hexing her friends because they were muggleborns. See? She wouldn't be still friends then with Snape.

Not to mention, books never specifically give away that Snape used it on others, marauders copied it and used it on him. It's just a convenient excuse for snaters fandom to chalk it up to "common sense"

Also, people confuse the 3 unforgivables with Dark arts. These spells are all DA spells:

Anteoculatia: sprouting antlers on a target (hex)

Babbling curse: make a target babble (curse)

Bat bogey hex: targets bogey turn into bats (hex)

Bedazzling hex: blind a target temporarily (hex)

Calvario: remove a targets hairdress (curse)

Confringo: explosion (curse)

Colloshoo: tie shoes together (hex)

Cantis: make one sing (jinx)

Cracker jinx: conjure exploding crackers (jinx)

Engorgio skullus: swell a target's head (hex)

Ducklifors: turn a target into a duck (jinx)

Jelly fingers curse: to make target's fingers become jelly like (curse)

Langlock: make a target's tongue stick to the roof of their mouth (jinx: see? Severus didn't only invent curses as people assume he did.)

Levicorpus: Hoist a target in the air by their ankle (jinx: made by none other than Snape)

Mucus Ad Nauseam: give a target a cold and runny nose (curse)

Petrificus Totalus: paralyze a target (curse)

Reducto: blast an object into mist/fine ash (curse)

A few unforgivables are also jinxes and hexes. But people don't do their research and blabber nonsense, hoping it catches on, or a fellow snater sees this and thinks "oh wow, makes sense, it must be common sense what I found" like an imbecile. God dammit. It's garbage, it's all and all garbage. Was then, is now, always will be, don't insult the majestic words ✨common sense✨ with the literal epitome of trashy excuse.

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Let's look at who and where it was used:

Book 1

Ch 17: Albus uses blinding curse

Book 3

Ch 22: Albus urges time manipulation to Hermione.

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Book 4

Ch 5: skiving snack boxes, rely on advanced charm and transfiguration magic, that could bring harm if snacks are missed.

Book 5

Ch 19: hexing Montague. Later montageus injury also explains the danger of that advanced hex

Ch 27: Albus uses silencing jinx

Ch 28: James uses levicorpus

Ch 33: ginny uses bat bogey hex which is advanced hexing and falls under dark magic.

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Book 6

Ch 5: uses the same dark powder that DE uses

Ch 7: uses bat bogey hex again

Ch 27: their inventions can be used in war. Showing that even their inventions meant as jokes and giggles was used as an aggressive thing.

----------------------------------------------

Book 7

Ch 31: they use all kinds of advanced jinxes and advanced hexes on the battlefield. Now, it may sound crazy but memories don't suddenly spawn because it's wartime. They were taught and used those spells often to get used to the wand movement and incantation.

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Result: Are these people suddenly the same thing as Snape as people make it out to be? Or is studying DA reasoning, simply an excuse for Snape haters?

And the spell he created? Sectumsempra? Fans hate that. But it's like getting angry at a woman for walking around with a knife after she was attacked multiple times.

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Now that we've got the DA spells behind us. Let's focus on the theory of how it got out. They seem awfully all up for the idea of Snape using it on students so marauders got their hands on it. Multiple things wrong:

- as you read in the first quote by the red dot, lily goes ballistic of simply MULCIBER using it on her friend. Imagine if she knew Snape was the one that began using it.

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- I suppose they'll say, people kept it a secret, gryffindors will keep it a secret from lily? Her friends already despised Snape and hers relationship, that would simply be more fuel to break it... which is what they wanted:

🛑“It’s too late. I’ve made ex­cus­es for you for years. None of my friends can un­der­stand why I even talk to you. You and your pre­cious lit­tle Death Eater friends – you see, you don’t even de­ny it! You don’t even de­ny that’s what you’re all aim­ing to be! You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?”]

(Book: The Deathly Hollows/ ch33, page 583)

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Now I shall give them my theory on how those spells give even more of a victimised air to Severus and we shall start with Sectumsempra.

**Sectumsempra** is a spell that has a variations of meanings but they all are synonyms of 'Always cutting' in other words a continuous laceration. It was created in Hogwarts. A spell clearly unknown by Harry and Hermione, indicating the spell clearly didn't exist yet in the wizarding world. Severus created that spell for a reason other than the "muggles" (theory) that so often is thrown around.

Nobody knows for what is it created, it leans more to the offensive side than the defensive side. Yet such a dangerous spell was hidden with a purpose. If he, Snape truly hated muggles, he would use that spell. If Snape truly loved his fellow DE, he would share his ideas and showcase this spell to them. It wouldn't be long before it would end up on the Daily Prophet either with people like the Lestrange and Carrow on DE that were sadistic.

Yet it didn't. Meaning, Snape didn't trust his people, never liked them, nor wanted them to be in his business and certainly not get their hands on such a dangerous spell. I believe he tried getting that book from Harry Potter because of that spell but Harry gave him a fake one. Not to mention that as soon as Draco is on the floor. Bleeding from that spell, Snape rushed over to him, kneels down in that puddle of blood and depserately began humming the counter spell. To either aid Draco or keep the spell hidden or keep Harry out of trouble. Maybe even all three, which is beautiful no matter how one twists or turns this.

In short, this extremely dangerous spell was hidden for the betterment of judgement. Snape's judgement.

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Now on to the next spell which is Levcorpus

**Levicorpus** is a spell that makes a body incredibly light, allowing it to float. Someone told me that if James is SA'er then Severus is too because he created that spell. That Snape must've used it beforehand for them to have seen it being used and they copied it. Levicorpus must've at least been a 4th year and 5th year spell. Why? Because of this:

- Height of cool. If we know teens, a "height of cool"  doesn't truly last long. I'll use this piece more often too. By the way, "height of cool' is what Remus said.

Reasons why Snape's Levicorpus wasn't used for evil is because it WAS a height of cool. Do people honestly think that if a Mulciber, Regulus or Severus BEGAN using this spell to bully muggleborns/halfbloods, they (student other than Slytherins) would love it so much to use it themselves? No, whenever Slytherins did something horrendous, the whole school frowns upon them and act similar to Lily. That spell would certainly NOT have become famous because SNAPE or any other Slytherin began using it first. Marauders that bothered him when he wasn't even doing a thing against them, would certainly steal his bag and look through it, accidentally stumbling upon that spell. So it wouldn't be popular if Slytherins were the first to use it.

Second reason would be Lily. I do not think Lily would be psyched to know her best friend was abusing muggles with his own crafted spells. Snape did cuss others as mudbloods, true. But cussing and actually bringing harm to muggleborns are two different things. Lily would not be friends with him so he obviously wouldn't search for that friendship severance either. He never used it himself either in the Harry Potter series. So in short, he created this spell, it got in the hands of Marauders that used it against him because it was popular and he couldn't be the first showcaser with so much proof showing, it wouldn't be favourable for him.

In other words, both spells were created by Snape. Sectumsempra more offensive and Levicorpus is defensive. Ironically, James used Snape's own spell against him. So did Harry use the other spell against its own creator aka Snape. Which in both cases show how sensitive he is about them. He doesn't use levicorpus spell himself even though DE used Levicorpus like they were house elf shopping. Also, the cut on james his face could be any cut spell, doesn't have to be sectumsempra. And the one moment he used it later was to protect a child.

They were created with a purpose other than inflicting pain and torment on muggles. As we all know, Snape had a rough childhood. These spells were the definition of hiding a knife or gun under one's pillow after traumatic events. He wants to feel safe. That's all.

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So no, Snape could not have used it first to torment muggleborns. And DA itself isn't bad or you might as well call Weasley family budding DE. And Slytherins were overall too hated for them to begin using any spell (people would react like lily at the Mulciber incident) and for it to become popular.

[poke-gurumi]

Turtwig 🌱

Pattern below the cut ⬇️

Head (in light green):

1. Mr6 (6)

2. Inc x6 (12)

3. [Sc, inc] x6 (18)

4. [Sc2, inc] x6 (24)

5. [Sc3, inc] x6 (30)

6. [Sc4, inc] x6 (36)

7. [Sc5, inc] x6 (42)

8. [Sc6, inc] x6 (48)

9. [Sc7, inc] x6 (54)

10. [Sc8, inc] x6 (60)

11. [Sc9, inc] x6 (66)

12. [Sc10, inc] x6 (72)

13. [Sc11, inc] x6 (78)

14-16. Sc around (78)

17. [Sc11, dec] x6 (72)

18-19. Sc around (72)

20. [Sc10, dec] x6 (66)

21-22. Sc around (66)

23. [Sc9, dec] x6 (60)

24-25. Sc around (60)

26. [Sc8, dec] x6 (54)

27-28. Sc around (54)

29. [Sc7, dec] x6 (48)

30. Sc around (48)

31. [Sc6, dec] x6 (42)

32. [Sc5, dec] x6 (36)

33. [Sc4, dec] x6 (30)

34. [Sc3, dec] x6 (24)

35. [Sc2, dec] x6 (18)

36. [Sc, dec] x6 (12)

37. Dec x6 (6)

Chin (in yellow):

1. Mr6 (6)

2. Inc x6 (12)

3. [Sc, inc] x6 (18)

4. [Sc2, inc] x6 (24)

5. [Sc3, inc] x6 (30)

6. [Sc4, inc] x6 (36)

7. [Sc5, inc] x6 (42)

8. [Sc6, inc] x6 (48)

9. [Sc7, inc] x6 (54)

10-13. Sc around (54)

Cheeks (in yellow):

1. Mr6 (6)

2. Inc x6 (12)

3. [Sc, inc] (18)

4. [Sc2, inc] (24)

5. [Sc3, inc] (30)

6-7. Sc around (30)

Body (in light green):

1. Ch10, sc8 down chain, sc3 in next ch, sc8 on other side of chain, sc3 in next chain (22)

2. [Sc8, inc x3] x2 (28)

3. [Sc8, [sc, inc] x3] x2 (34)

4. [Sc8, [sc2, inc] x3] x2 (40)

5. [Sc8, [sc3, inc] x3] x2 (46)

6. [Sc8, [sc4, inc] x3] x2 (52)

7. [Sc8, [sc5, inc] x3] x2 (58)

8. [Sc8, [sc6, inc] x3] x2 (64)

9-16. Sc around (64)

17. [Sc8, [sc6, dec] x3] x2 (58)

18. [Sc8, [sc5, dec] x3] x2 (52)

19. [Sc8, [sc4, dec] x3] x2 (46)

20. [Sc8, [sc3, dec] x3] x2 (40)

21. [Sc8, [sc2, dec] x3] x2 (34)

22. [Sc8, [sc, dec] x3] x2 (28)

23. [Sc8, dec x3] x2 (22)

Front lip (in light green):

Ch and turn at the end of each row

1. Ch13, turn, sc12 down the chain (12)

2. Dec, sc8, dec (10)

3. Dec, sc6, dec (8)

4. Dec, sc4, dec (6)

5. Dec, sc2, dec (4)

6. Dec x2 (2)

7. Dec (1)

8. Sc around piece

Shell:

1. (Starting in brown) Mr6 (6)

2. Inc x6 (12)

3. [Sc, inc] x6 (18)

4. [Sc2, inc] x6 (24)

5. [Sc3, inc] x6 (30)

6. [Sc4, inc] x6 (36)

7. [Sc5, inc] x6 (42)

8. [Sc6, inc] x6 (48)

9. [Sc7, inc] x6 (54)

10-12. Sc around (54)

13-15. (Change to black) sc around (54)

Shell stripe (in black):

Ch and turn at the end of each row

1. Ch33, sc in 2nd stitch from hook, sc31 (32)

2-3. Sc32 (32)

Legs:

1. (Starting in yellow) Mr6 (6)

2. Inc x6 (12)

3. [Sc, inc] x6 (18)

4. [Sc2, inc] x6 (24)

5. BLO sc around (24)

6-7. Sc around (24)

8. (Switch to light green) BLO sc around (24)

9-14. Sc around (24)

15. Sc12, ch and turn (12)

16. Sc10, dec, ch and turn (11)

17. Sc9, dec, ch and turn (10)

18. Sc8, dec (9)

FO and leave tail for sewing.

Attach to front loops of row 8 in yellow

1. Sc, [hdc, dc, hdc, slst] x5, hdc, dc, hdc, slst in same stitch as attachment point

FO and leave a tail for sewing. Sew this piece down flat on the leg to create the zigzag pattern.

Tail (in light green):

1. Mr4 (4)

2. [Sc, inc] x2 (6)

3. [Sc, inc] x3 (9)

4. [Sc2, inc] x3 (12)

5. [Sc3, inc] x3 (15)

6. [Sc4, inc] x3 (18)

Stem (in brown):

1. Mr4 (4)

2-13. Sc4 (4)

14. Sc3, inc (5)

15. Sc around (5)

16. Sc4, inc (6)

17. Inc x6 (12)

18. [Sc, inc] x6 (18)

19. [Sc2, inc] x6 (24)

20. [Sc3, inc] x6 (30)

21. [Sc4, inc] x6 (36)

22. [Sc5, inc] x6 (42)

23*. Sc7, ch and turn (7)

24. Dec, sc5, ch and turn (6)

25. Dec, sc4, ch and turn (5)

26. Dec, sc3, ch and turn (4)

27. Dec, sc2, ch and turn (3)

28. Dec, sc, ch and turn (2)

29. Dec (1)

FO. We will now create the remaining points of the head cap. Insert your hook into a stitch adjacent to the triangle you just completed, in round 22. Crochet the next triangle starting at row 23, marked with a '*' above. Create a total of 6 triangles. Leave a long tail for sewing on at least one of the tops of the triangles.

Leaves (in green):

1. Mr4 (4)

2. Sc3, inc (5)

3. Sc4, inc (6)

4. [Sc2, inc] x2 (8)

5. [Sc3, inc] x2 (10)

6. [Sc4, inc] x2 (12)

7. [Sc5, inc] x2 (14)

8. [Sc6, inc] x2 (16)

9. [Sc7, inc] x2 (18)

10. [Sc8, inc] x2 (20)

11. [Sc9, inc] x2 (22)

12. [Sc10, inc] x2 (24)

13. [Sc11, inc] x2 (26)

14. [Sc12, inc] x2 (28)

15. [Sc13, inc] x2 (30)

16-17. Sc around (30)

18. [Sc3, dec] x6 (24)

19. [Sc2, dec] x6 (18)

20. [Sc, dec] x6 (12)

[skyfallscotland]

25 & 49! 🤗

25. What's your revision or rewriting process like?

I like to be 3-4 chapters ahead of what I'm posting because I go back and re-read the previous chapters for continuity, so like, currently I'm writing Ch33 of Remi's Version (I'm on fire, I know!) but I'll do one write through, then go back and read like 31 and 32, editing as I go, then 33 and edit as I go.

Then when I start 34 I'll write that and when it's finished I'll read over 32 (which generally won't need edits by then) and then 33 will get edited again, then 34 and so on.

And the entire time I'll be complaining to bouncing ideas off other people (usually @justallihere and @widebrimmedhatsblog). It's labour intensive but I wouldn't be happy with the end result otherwise. I usually will go through one more time before posting as well.

49. Do you want to be published some day?

Yes! I'd love to, though I haven't decided if self-publishing or trad pub is more me. I get demand avoidance so deadlines would absolutely ruin me and I'm very sensitive about feedback, so I think self-pub is probably the way to go, but...marketing 😭

In any case, I have outline ideas for a sports romance novel and a romantasy series that I've been dreaming up for years, but the romantasy series has dragons and an MMC named Caden, which seems to be everyone's jam now so I got annoyed I missed the boat and tossed it aside for a while 😂🖤

[neeeooon]

i'm so happy i can yap in your inbox 🌷

ch22: ness, my love, stand tf up 🤗 that man is not good for you. KUNIGIRI CAT PARENTSSS? also sitting next to kaiser?? he's gonna give y/n an airborne std im scared (jk they're gonna make out)

ch23: HE FELL ASLEEP ON HER SHOULDER I JUST WENT INTO CARDIAC ARREST HELLO?????? i need them to kiss. OH MY LORDDD THE END?? "hey, pretty girl." i screamed.

ch24: KAINESS ANGST STOPPPP they're both terrible for each other idk whose side i'm on. if ness starts scheming some shit against y/n ill crash out, do NAWT test me

ch25: bachiy/n friendship i'm in love. ALSO Y/N REALISING HER FEELINGS, TY BACHI

ch26: KURONA MY BABYYY I LOVE HIM SM. also the kainess situation is so sad like 💔 kaiser needs to find another coping mechanism and ness NEEDS TO LEAVE HIM AND GET THERAPY.

ch27: i don't even know what to say this is so heavy and good??? i love the depth of the characters sm. kaiser needs to stfu though — ALSO i feel like we're gonna get some y/n backstory soon..

ch28: ness needs to stand up bro this is sad. Y/N AND KAISER ON TALKING TERMS THE CROWD CHEERED

ch29: kaiser and y/n being civil with one another is like watching a baby fall asleep and you're scared to make any sudden movements otherwise it'll start screaming and crashing out again

ch30: dead. i'm dead. HE'S SO IN LOVE WITB HER WHAT. I FEAR I WIUKD BE ON MY KNEES ALREADY HE CAN'T JUST SING TO HER LIKE THAT???????? imgonan faint THE FINAL LINE CHANGE????

ch31: my pants are already off bro i can't stand the tension. "she asks about me?" "wait for me?" STOPPP MY KNEES ARE WEAK

ch32: this chapter made me feel so many things?? chat i can fix him i swear 🥀🥀 the end had me so frustrated i need to bash his head into a wall for him to finally get his priorities straight. i feel like that's either ness or someone else from his past that texted him

ch33: NONONONO FUCKJKK I'M GOING TO KILL HIS DAD????? NOOOOO MY POOR BOY 💔💔 "because that's his father." shoot me. shoot me dead.

---------

binge-read this since i'm currently sick and forced into bedrest 💔 I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER AAAAA i love you and your writing mwah

- 🍡

AAAANSMOMG FEEL BETTER SOON 🍡 ANON 💓💞💘💓💞 i’ll try to get ch 34 out tomorrow for you 🫶

[maaikeatthefullmoon]

Bloody hell.

I started writing in November. The first fictional thing I’d written since I was about 8 years old.

My little descent into writing madness is now 28 chapters long (and still going). And it’s just hit 10k views.

Sure, the overwhelming pessimist in me is convinced people are linking to it to read and point and laugh.

But I’ve had some absolutely wonderful comments (and entire conversations) on it. So I’m trying to remind myself of that.

That my mother was NOT right when she said my story was crap 32 years ago. That I can do this. Sure, this is nothing like that story was, but it’s all the same to me.

And it’s giving me so many creative thoughts and ideas. 🖤

Fandom: Good Omens, Aziraphale & Crowley

Rated: E (although smutty chapters are easily skipped)

I’m not finished writing it yet - currently on Ch33, think it may end up a 40 chapter behemoth.

[primevein]

The Prime of His Youth: Book V: Where There's Smoke: Ch33: Forth

Japheth walked into the lab and Airachnid walked away from the console and up to him, eagerly looking up into his eyes. He sighed, "Report, first."

"Your precious Smokie needs your help, in a dark, dead city, deep in the Undergrid." Airachnid uttered.

"Alright, and the rest?" Japheth asked.

"Smokie said I deserved headpats." she seemed to sincerely say.

Japheth took a step closer to her. He started raising his arm before pausing, "You're sure?"

"Am I sure I deserve them, or sure I want them?" she asked, and he glared at him, "For some Primus forsaken reason, I actually want them."

Japheth stepped forward again and gently pet her on her head. She let out joyous murmurs in reply.

* * *

Airachnid lead the convoy as they moved further and further into the black depths. "Airachnid, take the twins for a tour of the city's outskirts."

Skyburst and Stormclash flew to catch up. They wobbled their their wings left and right before turning their rotors rearward and flying off. "Don't trust me?" Airachnid asked.

"I trust that you have not seen a single living thing in or around the city, other than the Stunticons."

Airachnid leaned her propellers forward to try and catch up with the twins, "So?" she asked.

"Humans have an expression." He replied, "An abundance of caution."

"You are the - prudent - one." Airachnid simply stated.

* * *

Japheth drove up to the prison and transformed, walking up. The Rust Maidens did the same behind him as the Twins transformed into a landing. He walked up as Landslide was laying into Drag Strip, "I suppose this is necessary."

"I'm not exactly a fan of torturing prisoners, but our makeshift prison won't exactly hold them." Nebulous stated as he confidently walked up, "Now, why do you not look even a little surprised to see me?"

"Cybertron told me what would happen." Japheth simply stated, and turned to look between the prisoners. His eyes focused intently on Motormaster, before doing the same to the others. He simply walked up to Motormaster, and touched him. There was no obvious sign of what happened, but all of the other Stunticons seemed to react, seemed to relax. Landslide stepped back from Drag Strip, and paused, looking between them.

Nebulous looked defeated, and slunk up to him, unable to look him in the eyes. He steeled himself to give him the strength to. "I should have known you would do that. So, you want to share your secret?"

"They are an artificial Combiner, created by Shockwave. He tried to find a way to force the Combiner Spark."

"And what, you just undid it?" Nebulous asked.

"I unbound their Sparks." Japheth simply replied. "And you don't need to defer to me."

"Like - fucking - slag." Nebulous replied, "You are the man I've always looked up to."

"Now you have to be the same." Japheth stated, and Nebulous was frozen with shock. "Not with me." he said, but then looked at the other Elite Guard.

* * *

Japheth walked up to Wildride. Wildride watched as He grabbed his power sword. With a single stroke, the chains were cut clean through. He stood there, simply staring at the one that had freed him, as if he could not understand what was happening. "You are no longer a slave." Wildride turned around, showing Him the transformation inhibitor shackles. "That said, before you were made one, you were a Decepticon." Wildrise turned around to give him a curious look. "When I free you, you will head to Iacon, and surrender to the Elite Guard."

"And, if I don't feel like playing along?" Wildride challenged him.

"I cut off Airachnid's legs, and stranded her in space, until I could trust her." He said, looking him powerfully in the eyes. He took a step back, and looked into a distance before looking back at him, "The white and pink helicopter, is her happily on my leash." Wildride looked lost. A moment later his eyes refocused, and looked at Japheth, "What would happen if I let her loose?"

"Aren't... you an Autobot?" Wildrider asked.

Japheth shrugged, "I do what I have to do. Usually that means stopping Shockwaves horrifying abominations, but happens - less - since I recruited him." Wildride gave him an incredulous look, "It's a long story, but it's working quite well. Alright, you go to Iacon, and surrender yourself, or I release my psychopath that will stalk you across an entire planet for no reason other than to enjoy herself, seeing the light fade from your eyes as you scream from pain."

* * *

Japheth walked up to Motormaster.

"What have you done to me?!" he screamed.

"A better question is what should I do with you?" Japheth asked, and Motormaster momentarily faltered.

"You think I'm afraid of you?" Motormaster asked

"Well, that's not really the best question." Japheth non-chalantly replied.

"What does that mean?" Motormaster asked Him.

"Megatron surrendered, Starscream is on the council, Predaking owes me favours, Shockwave is working for ME now, and I recruited two Black Widows, and killed the rest. And Ser-Ket. And The Forged. And Devastator. So, tell me, what - exactly - are you hoping for? I mean, what is the best thing you can do right now? I mean, no team, no leader, no Energon. So, what can you hope to achieve? To run away and annoy me before I let my spiders have fun with you?" He paused for a moment, "Maybe you're thinking you can get off world, if I didn't control the star bridge and warp ships. Alright, let's say you do get a warp ship? What do you do, run away to our lost colonies?" This gave Motormaster a glimmer of hope, "Unfortunately for you, I've made it my mission to find our lost colonies. Half a gigacycle, and I've found two. Setup a colony on one. Save the other from Unicron." Motormaster looked shocked as he said this. "To be fair, it was easier than the last time we met."

Motormaster gave him a stern look as he thought this over. "How about this, what do YOU want me to do?"

"Surrender to the Elite Guard." Japheth said, and briefly paused, "Cooperate, and you might get a pardon out of it."

"I get pardoned, and then what?"

"Go to Terra, and make Energon through demolition derbies." Japheth said, and Motormaster gave him a look of disbelief, "Cars on Terra don't have feelings. It's blood sports without the blood, unless you manage to fuck up so badly that you lose."

Motormaster stared in His eyes, a deep and powerful stare, until it finally softened. "Scrap." he voiced, and Japheth smiled.

* * *

Motormaster transformed and raced passed them as Japheth walked up to Nebulous and His Elite Guard.

"So, you done saving the world?" Nebulous asked him.

"A did a favour for the world, and now I have one for you. And a present." Japheth replied. Nebulous looked completely lost, "For the present, I'll give you the Phthia." He said, and Nebulous looked stunned.

Japheth turned away and transformed, driving off.

* * *

Nebulous drove up to the vault, transformed, and walked up to Japheth. Japheth turned to the door, and it opened up. He smiled at his Femmes, and disparate Rust Maidens, barely fitting in the small space.

Nebulous tried to step into follow him, when Cinderstream stepped out, hand open to stop him. Nebulous gave him a curious look, "He wanted you to wait outside." Cinderstream stepped back inside, and the doors closed.

Nebulous watched it for a moment, before looking between his Guards, and around the dead black city. The doors opened and his head snapped over, seeing Japheth carrying Sierra. Sierra just smiled brightly at him.

He kneeled down and placed her on the ground. She layed back, relaxing on the ground. Japheth leaned down and brought his hands to her. She started glowing, and growing. Before Nebulous could understand, he saw a protoform that quickly adopted the form of a Femme. She stood up, looked him in the eyes, smiled brightly, and jumped over to hug him.

Nebulous gave Japheth a lost look. Japheth smiled back at him, "I'll meet you on the surface."

* * *

Carron transformed into a landing by the Dinobots, having trouble looking at them.

"How'd it go?" Swoop asked.

Carron looked away as the flashback hit her.

* * *

Carron flew by Japheth, as his squadron and Rust Maidens trailing behind, "Want to talk, but are afraid." He said to her. He changed it to a private channel. "You know what you want to do with your life. You somehow think you are abandoning me."

"I'm?.." she pleaded.

"How about what I want?" Japheth asked, and anxious silence reigned, "Do you want to know what I think?" Another heady pause followed.

"Y..." she tried to say.

"I want you to find your own path, to be comfortable meeting the enemy on your own. And what happened?" Another great pause followed.

"I... I want to join..."

"You found others to follow your path with." He paused again, "I am - overjoyed.

"You... you are?" she asked.

"It's been fun watching you gain your strength."

"Watching?" Carron asked.

"Did you... not know... your telemetry was being saved?" He asked, and got a great nothing in reply. He sighed over the comms. "I need to patch in Ciel." He said, and patched her in. "Ciel?"

"M'Lord?"

"Remove her telemetry recordings." Japheth stated.

"But?.." Carron uttered.

"But, you're a big girl now. If you need my help, just ask for it."

"She will also have Dinobots to watch over her." Ciel stated, "Which, statistically, Grimlock could beat Megatron."

"I don't know what to say to that?.." Carron asked.

"Worst case, get to New Kalis, and you can get a signal to the surface." Japheth stated, "If we're not there, the Elite Guard will come to help you."

"I have a feeling they won't ever need help." Ciel.

"Then feel free to come and visit." Japheth stated.

"Should she bring her friends?" Ciel asked.

"That might be... disruptive..." Japheth uttered.

"But do come and visit." Ciel warmly added.

* * *

Aurea walked through the doors into the great foundry, and stopped at what she saw, at who she saw, "I figured I would find you here."

"Then you have me at a disadvantage." Megatron said to her.

---

Embers: 4

[startseeingstars]

Delicate Destruction - Euronymous (Lords of Chaos)

CH33 🎶 My Disaster - Ocean Grove 🎶

I sighed, watching the clock as it ticked all too slowly. I wanted to be there for Øystein. He had to close Helvete since his Dad stopped paying the rent. Varg had done what he promised and gone to the media. The raging idiot had gotten himself arrested after admitting he knew about the murder Faust was responsible for. The whole group was on edge - especially Faust and Øystein.

The bell above the door snapped me out of my trance - Jan and Krista walked in.

"Hey, how's he doing?" I asked worriedly.

Krista pursed her lips in a thin line and Jan gave me a look that told me it wasn't good. I sighed.

"I'll go straight there when I'm done."

"Else, he's in a pretty foul mood... I don't know if you'd even want to be around him right now." Jan sounded sympathetic and I smiled at him, grateful for the concern.

"I can imagine. But I feel so helpless sitting here." I groaned.

Hammed let me go a little early since it was quiet and I thanked him profoundly as I rushed out the door. I practically ran to Helvete, my stomach sank seeing the 'Closed' sign on the door as I watched Øystein packing records into boxes. Faust was helping him.

I walked in, as they were talking.

"I'll make a snuff film out of the whole fucking thing." Øystein's voice was cold and unnerving.

"Woah, easy Tiger." I held my hands up and he rolled his eyes, placing the taser he was holding down. I swallowed.

"I got here as soon as I could. Where do you want me to start?" I asked, throwing my bag in the corner.

"Wherever, it's all going into boxes." He muttered, defeat in his voice as he continued packing. I frowned when I realised he wasn't going to give me a proper hello, but didn't push it. He was devastated and furious - and rightly so. I knew he would come around eventually.

It was dark by the time we finished packing everything away. Kerang! Magazine from London had called to talk with Euronymous - apparently Øystein was trying to spin Varg's royal fuck up in his favour.

I sincerely hoped it would work, but we would have to wait and see. I was anxious - what if Varg turned Øystein in and pinned everything on him? I couldn't bear the thought of losing him.

"Hey, we can move the rest of these boxes tomorrow - I've filled the car up already." I walked into his basically empty office. He just nodded as he sat on the floor, deflated. I joined him, resting my head on his shoulder to comfort him. He let his head rest on mine, too and we sat in comfortable silence for a long time.

The next few days were uneventful. Varg was released from custody which had put me on edge, but he hadn't said anything to the cops.

I arrived at Øystein's after work. He answered the door, but not with his usual smile. Instead, I was greeted with an emotionless expression.

"What's wrong?" I tossed my bag aside and took his face in my hands gently, guiding his eyes to mine.

His fingertips rested softly on my waist, barely touching me as he got the words together.

"Kristian left Mayhem. He's pissed about the magazine article." He muttered and I saw the new issue of Kerang! sitting on the counter with Varg's face on it.

"Why is he mad about it?" I asked.

"Because apparently I'm a poser who doesn't take real action and fight for the cause." He muttered, rolling his eyes - but I could tell the words were getting to him. I sighed.

"So? We all know who the real poser is." I shrugged, picking up the magazine and flicking to the page it was on.

"Yeah but he says the same about me." He muttered as I quickly skimmed the article.

I turned to him and frowned.

"Look, you have this vision. You can still be a leader - be all those things you've wanted." I kept my tone even but firm. "You are capable of so much."

He looked at me and my face softened as I saw the tears in his eyes. "Things have just been...hard lately." He looked away sadly and I reached out, pulling him closer.

He buried his face in my shoulder and sobbed. My heart shattered at the sound. I held him tight and ran my hand over his hair to try and soothe him as I guided our bodies to the floor gently. His arms wrapped around me tighter and I felt tears in my own eyes. I hated seeing him so broken, defeated. It made my heart ache with a longing to take away his pain.

We sat for a while as his tears drenched my shirt and I whispered gentle reassurance in his ear lovingly. As he calmed, he pulled back and wiped at his face with the bottom of his shirt, taking in a deep breath.

He looked terrible - eyes red and glassy from the tears stood out against his pale skin. I touched his face, tucking his hair behind his ear. He almost looked embarrassed and I leant over, pecking his lips.

"I love you. I'm here." I offered him a small smile as he sniffled.

"I'm sorry, this is so pathetic." He wiped his face and laughed a little but I shook my head.

"No, baby, this is emotion and it's the most human thing you'll ever experience. It's beautiful." His eyes sparkled slightly and he leaned in, meeting his lips with mine gently.

"You're beautiful." He murmured, kissing me again. I blushed and stroked his cheek gently with my thumb.

"How are you this charming after a melt down?" I giggled as he pulled me onto his lap.

"You bring it out of me." He pecked my nose before brushing his over mine. We sat in silence for a while, just holding each other.

"What are you going to do?" I whispered after a while. He sighed.

I laid in bed as I watched Øystein finish typing up the contract he would send to Varg to cut their professional ties. I silently hoped this would end their friendship as well, given how scary he had become. Nothing good or positive came from their relationship and it worried me.

Øystein sat beside me on the bed, about to put his shoes on.

"I'm just going to post this. What do you want me to pick up for dinner?" He leant down and kissed my lips. As he tried to pull away, I groaned and wrapped my arms around his neck, keeping him close.

"Can't I just have you?" I murmured, sliding my tongue across his bottom lip lightly. He smirked into my kiss and bit my lip playfully, making me moan slightly.

"You can have me as soon as I get back, love." He pressed his lips firmly to my jaw and made his way down to my collarbone where he teased my skin with his tongue. I sighed as he pulled away.

"No fair." I complained, making a point to run my hand down my body. He grabbed it before I could touch anything sensitive. His eyes held my gaze as he brought the back of my hand to his lips and planted a kiss, making me smile.

"I'll be quick." He promised and I smirked.

"That's exactly what a girl wants to hear." Sarcasm rolled off my tongue and he chuckled.

"Chinese?" He asked, putting his coat on by the door.

"Sure."

I got up after he left and sat on the couch, turning the tv on. As I flicked through the channels, there was nothing of interest and I sighed. Maybe he had DVDs? I searched the small cabinet below the TV and came across a shoe box. Without thinking, I opened it.

I could feel my heart thud as I picked up the photo of Øystein and Pelle in their corpse makeup.

I recognised it from the party where I'd first met Pelle and painted his face. I let my hand trace over the glossy print as I bit my lip. I wondered if he would be happy for Øystein and I - how he would feel about all this shit with Varg. I missed him.

There was a piece of crumpled paper, stained with red under the photo that said 'Excuse the blood. Let the party begin' signed by Dead. I wiped at my face as I felt a tear fall. It felt odd, but I laughed a little. I hoped he was happier wherever he was.

I set the photo and note aside and brought the box back to the couch. I dug through the other photos in the box. Several were of the band, but some were of Øystein's family. To my surprise, one was of me. I hadn't realised he had a photo of me at all. It was a picture of me at their show as I was painting Øystein's face. I was grinning down at him and his arms were crossed as he held an uninterested expression so as to not ruin the make up.

I lost track of time and heard the front door open as Øystein returned.

"I got your favourite." He called, setting the food on the counter and removing his jacket. I felt my stomach knot as I realised he may not have wanted me looking at the photos. He looked over and his eyes fell to the photos scattered on the coffee table. I saw him swallow as he walked over, sitting beside me on the couch. I watched him carefully as he picked up the photo of him and Pelle. My heart ached as I realised he would remember finding his best friend in such a horrific state.

"You miss him, don't you?" I muttered. He nodded once and I decided against pushing the subject. He licked his lips and packed up the photos, placing them all back into the shoebox along with the note. He brought the take out bag to the couch and turned to me, taking a deep breath.

"I have something for you." He breathed out as he spoke and I searched his face.

"It's not the special fried rice, is it?" I smiled, trying to read his expression. He chuckled and reached into his jeans pocket, pulling out a silver key.

"I figured you're here enough anyway." He shrugged and I smiled, accepting the key.

"Is this you asking me to move in with you, Øystein?" I saw heat rise in his cheeks and he looked at me.

"That depends... would you say yes?" He smiled but he seemed a little unsure.

I grinned, taking his face in both my hands as I kissed him.

[hazbinextgeneration]

Demon Bride Ch34 Interluding P5

Last Part Here:

https://www.tumblr.com/hazbinextgeneration/737143062178955264/demon-bride-ch33?source=share

First Part Here:

https://www.tumblr.com/hazbinextgeneration/709087246035337216/demon-bride-ch1?source=share

Next Part Here:

https://www.tumblr.com/hazbinextgeneration/738417773697433601/demon-bride-ch35-when-in-rome-or-a-demon?source=share

(Warnings: mentioning of some blood.)

"UPPER MOON ONE. I CHALLENGE YOU FOR THE RIGHT TO HER AFFECTIONS!!"

You jumped and jerked your head around wide eyed freeing your chin from Kokushibo's hand to stare as none other than Upper Moon Three taking hard steps towards the three of you. Kokushibo was much slower to react than you. He didn't even look at Akaza just slowly stood back up to his full height and calmly close his eyes, one hand going to lightly lay on the hilt of the sword. 

THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD-

The docks practically shook under the man's weight and you were shocked. Never before had you seen Akaza so raged! Multiple veins had broken out all over his body especially along his arms and forehead. His large fangs were bared and his red nails had actually enlarged to become sharp talons as they gripped into tight fists. He stopped short just a yard away from you three and if looks could kill, Kokushibo would've been not only killed but willed into literal nothing.

"JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO HER?!," he demanded angrily in such a loud voice that it made you wince from how loud it was. 

"I simply...aimed to give her a courting gift." Kokushibo spoke in a calm tone like he didn't just try to kiss your face. "Calm yourself."

Apparently that must've been the wrong thing to say because Akaza reeled back in more anger.

"A GIFT!? A G I F T?! YOU TRY TO KISS AN INNOCENT WOMAN WITHOUT ASKING HER FIRST A GIFT?! WHY YOU...YOU .. DISGRACEFUL PERVERTED ASSHOLE!! YOU'RE NEARLY AS BAD AS DOUMA!!"

Kokushibo hummed. "I...would not make that comparison...Now why...would you feel the need..to challenge me...when we have not yet... officially started the courting proccedures?"

......You blinked. "Pro....ccedures??"

"*ahem* Well... according to tradition, a demon doesn't usually start courting a woman for a week or two after he gifted her a courting gift to give her time to think over if she wishes to reject his advances, My Lady," the skeezy one eyed demon spoke looking unsure at what was happening. 

"Yes. A 'gift'!! Something physical. NOT AN UNPROMPTED KISS!!"

"I hardly think..that is a call for violence."see

"YOU'RE the one who said if I had a problem with any of the ranks, I should challenge that choice by blood battle." Akaza strained a smile eyes narrowed. "Isn't that right Upper Moon One?"

Kokushibo hummed but Still kept his eyes closed and didn't acknowledge Akaza beyond that.  "Hmm...If it will make you docile again." You didn't even blink when something again wrapped around your body and you again looked up at the sight of Kokushibo of all people wrapping a white sash around your waist before ending it in a tight knot. Before again leaning back up standing eyes closed, only this time the white obi was missing leaving him holding his sword in one hand. "That should suffice...I have no time for combat...when there's important business...to be done."

''HA! What's wrong Upper One? Afraid to fight me now?!"

Both you, Rui, and the skeezy demon just kept looking back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. To Akaza. To Kokushibo. Then back again. Then forth again. As both continued to talk. Kokushibo calm and looking both unbothered and bored. Akaza looking like he'd strike out any moment. The continued on and ON like you three weren't even there....until you deadpanned. Really? All of this fuss just because of an almost kiss? You sighed and rolled your eyes. This was getting yourself no where. You'd better break them up before anyone got hurt...Or worse. You glanced at Rui watching Akaza in awe. Rui imprinted on Akaza so he might think just yelling and fighting everyone who even slightly annoyed him. You didn't want him to learn that but what would stop two men from fighting-...

Oh.

Oh you knew what would stop them or at least Akaza.  With a sigh good bye to your dying pride you let out a small groan before assuming the position and just....falling to your knees limply.

"Mother?!" Rui instantly yelled out and turned to you wide eyed. His shout was loud enough to gain the attention of both upper moons as you gave a genuinely tired sigh at the situation. Two pale hands grabbed your shoulders. "Mother, are you alright?!"

"My legs feel so weak," you fake whined tiredly as Kokushibo just watched calmly and Akaza gave up on fighting him completely. "We've been traveling for so long and seeing that Muzan man was too much for my poor humans especially woman heart to handle. I don't have the strength to continue on. Akaza.." You have him the most pathetic, puppy dog eyes, tired face you could muster. "P-Please..." An arm was raised to him. ''Wont you help me?"

Akaza didn't react at first and you thought perhaps your plan didn't work until instantly a wide eyed look of 'oh no' flashed over him. "Oh no. How absolutely careless of me!" You were surprised at the speed of which he dropped to his knees and found his hands caressing your hand and face. "How stupid of me to forget how fragile humans are compared to demons. All this traveling and scares must've taken a toll on your health." 

"EEP?!"

You squeaked in surprise as two strong arms wrapped around you and pulled you to be cheek first against his toned bicep as one the arms caressed your back and back of your legs before you left the ground and your body was pressed against the toned muscles of his chest......A red bloomed across your face. 

"Please, forgive me for being so foolish. I'll make sure you're alright now...Y/n? Are you alright?".....You could only give a squeak sound like a mouse that made Kokushibo chuckle and Akaza snap to him. "Don't laugh! She's obviously about to faint! We should get her inside to rest."

"I agree...Let us escort her in..."

"T-THAT WON'T BE NEEDED!!"

 Akaza jumped and nearly dropped you as you wriggled quickly in his grip until you clumsily were able to kick yourself free from his arms dropping the objects from your arms making them thud all over the floor. You all stood there staring at one another. Akaza looked concerned and Kokushibo Looked amused at your red face. Rui blinked before he just reached down to start picking up the stuff you dropped.

"I-Im recovered now but you two should stop acting so ridiculous!" You pointed at Akaza. "You need to calm down. I-Its just a kiss! And you still haven't washed the blood off your arms...Wait..What are you even doing here? Aren't you supposed to leave now?"

"I was wondering the...same thing."

In response a small bottle of blue pills was suddenly held up to you from Akaza's still blooded hands. "You dropped the boy's medicine. I didn't want him to be hurt again so I came to return it to you and make sure Rui stayed healthy." He then let out a small growl. "But then I saw HIM making a move."

You ignored his last comment to look at the bottle...before slowly taking it. "Oh. The medicine Enmu gifted me." You smiled at Akaza. "Thank you."

"I will...leave you with Akaza to...escort you inside then." You both looked to Kokushibo who took a large step until he was in front of you before giving a deep bow at the hip and remaining there to maintain eye contact with you. "I... apologize for any inconveniences."

You blinked but braised a brow. "Alright but next time don't fight over something as simple as a kiss. It's not a big deal to fight over. At least not in my opinion."

Kokushibo hummed and gave the smallest of smiles. "Is that so?...Then I shall keep that in mind In the future..." His head tilted. A hand suddenly grabbing yours before Akaza could even react. You gave a small gasp as a small yank was enough to pull you forward a foot and directly under Kokushibo's face. "...and for this moment.'

Something soft touched your lips. Your brain went blank other than the thought of 'HUH?!' as soft long dark hair caressed your face. Akaza GROWLED from somewhere else and soon you were yanked from the kiss and faced around to face the very muscular and VERY toned abs of Akaza. You blinked staring at the toned chest and abs and biceos-

"You PERVERT!!," Akaza growled before pulling you close to him which only resulted in you faceplanting into the chest of toned muscles as Akaza held you in a protective hold from an amused looking Kokushibo. "I will NOT let you touch her again in my presence!!"

"Then I will let you...escort her in." Again the amused demon bowed  before turning away and starting to walk. "I have important matters...to attend to..make sure not to get too... distracted from work."

Akaza hissed and snarled at the samurai demon as he stepped before disappearing completely. "Disgusting perverts. All of them. You're really lucky I came by when I did. Are you alright?"....He looked down when you didn't respond. "Y/n?" Red faced and wide eyed you went limp in his arms as he panickedly caught you. "Y-Y/N?!"

Rui slowly popped his head up. "....I told you she liked you. Can you get married now and give me siblings?"

*********************************************************************************

The group of eight demons just  stood there for who knows how long peacefully-

Just kidding. Since when are upper moons peaceful?

"OH. IM GOING TO DESTROY YOU DAMMED COCKROACHES SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY HOME!!"

"Save that little wind bitch for me. I'll wipe that disgusting perverted smile off for blowing us away!!"

Both Kaigaku and Kyogai glared right at the five brothers that dared to scowl and smile back at them...Well two were smiling. Two were scowling. And the blue eyed one frowned almost nervously. They haven't laid a hand on one another yet, probably because physical battles within the Infinity Castle was strictly forbidden and the warning they were given by Muzan promised them A MUCH worse punishment than just imprisonment, a warning, and having to forcibly rebuild something. 

"I'd  like to see you try. Considering you're both under me, I'd easily crush you like a grape!," Sekido growled back the grip on his staff increasing. 

"How?! You couldn't even stop me from beheading you twice during our battle!," Kaigaku taunted back smugly. Instantly Sekido growled out fangs clattering against one another.

"ENOUGH!" Everyone practically jumped and swung their heads around wide eyed and immediately went silent as none other than Upper Moon One walked slowly along a platform back towards them. "You're acting foolish.''  He could see that a lot of the other moons like Douma and Gyutaro actually left and only Nakime and the right demons he told to stay put was left. "We do not have time ...for arguments. ... Kaigaku I must...leave soon. Stare what you want ...with myself and leave."

Straight to the point. Blunt. And he left no other chance for delay. He already had so much to do in so little time. So without hesitation the student nodded to his teacher before sending a scowl at Enmu who had stayed silent, smiling, and just enjoyed watching all the fighting that had been going on up til this moment. So with a scowl a black nail was pointed right at that smiling face.

"Im initiating a challenge of Blood Battle for the position of Lower Moon One!!"

[wincestation]

2, 7, and 13 for the ao3 ask game!

2. How many fics did you post this past year?

10, including WIAMNAM which started on Dec '22 and ended Jan '23, and AITWYS which is expected to end this month.

7. Share a line/paragraph/snippet that you were especially proud of from a work this year!

It was hard to choose but this part from aitwys (ch33) warms my heart:

She used the fingers in his hair to tug his head back, forcing him to look into her eyes. “It isn’t,” she insisted. She tried to find the words to voice it - the feeling inside her that she had to make him understand. “And I’m not leaving. This is not…” the hazel in his eyes was dark in the dim car, the moon serving as their only light. “This isn’t an ending,” she finally said, the words coming to her like a revelation. “This is a beginning.” His eyes widened at that before they squinted, the result of a smile filling his face.  “Be patient,” he said quietly as he kissed her jawline, “I might need you to remind me of that, occasionally.” She couldn’t nod, so she just smiled, knowing he’d feel her face twisting underneath his lips. “Promise.”

13. What fic are you most excited to post in the upcoming year?

Other than the final 2(!) chapters of aitwys, I have some other wips I'm considering to start working on, but nothing solid just yet.