#compassionate reminders

[transcendragon]

There Is Beauty In Small Things - another gentle reminder with a dragon. A very, very tiny dragon

My original art made in procreate, image description in alt text

[diaryofanenchantedprincess]

Self compassion is the antidote.

Whenever you’re feeling down, when you’re feeling ashamed especially- be compassionate to yourself. When you’re having a hard day, do something with the mindset that being kind and gentle and loving to yourself is what will help you. You deserve that kindness. You deserve to feel good.

Do one thing as an act of service for yourself. If you want to do more and fill the day with self care activities- please do. But if you’re only able to manage one thing, please do it. It’s different for everyone. It can be getting a scoop of ice cream. Walking outside for 10 minutes. Laying down under the blankets with your stuffed toy. A guided breathing exercise. Simply sitting down and observing nature. Anything.

Whatever it is- make sure it’s something mindful and not something that distracts you like watching tv or scrolling on your phone. For me- it’s making a cup of hot chocolate.

Hot chocolate has never failed me.

I simply boil cubes of 70% dark chocolate in some milk, and while I’m humming (I make myself hum a tune no matter what mood I’m in), I keep stirring without letting the milk come to a boil and when it’s reached that creamy, luscious consistency, I take it off the heat, pour into my pink mug and top it off with some mini marshmallows and shaved dark chocolate. Sometimes I’ll omit the marshmallows and put in a spoon of vanilla ice cream and gently stir. I’ll watch the ice cream melt into little snowy swirls on top of my beautiful hot chocolate and that first little sip- I swear- feels like it reaches my entire nervous system and calms it down. Like a wave of relief and relaxation washing over me.

In my darkest moments, when I feel like I’m so deep in a pit that there’s nothing that could possibly get me out, no light could ever reach down to a darkness that dwells so deep, hot chocolate is an instant cure. A comfort. A balm that soothes my soul. A warm blanket around my freezing heart. A gentle hand that guides me slowly but surely out of that dark pit.

I do this every time I fall into my pit. It has gotten me out every single time. Not right away some days, but it leaves a lasting impact and has reduced the frequency of my ‘mental lows’. It’s imprinted in my mind that when I feel low, I am worth being loved then too. When I feel worthless, I am worth love especially then.

If you’re feeling low today, please do one kind, loving act of service for yourself. You deserve to feel good. You deserve to be shown kindness and love. Especially if the person showing that to you is you.

[crisishauntline]

I have got to learn how to stop punishing my body with short-term dopamine fixes every time I experience anxiety. At this point, my nervous and digestive systems can no longer handle the consequences of over-/under-eating, staying up all night, and not exercising or going outside all day. Not only do I feel even worse while the problem triggering my anxiety persists, I also have less capacity to feel joy or relief if/when the stressor actually gets resolved.

I deserve rest, nutritious food, water, movement, and fresh air even when I am sad, overwhelmed, unproductive, or angry with myself. Even when I “waste” a day due to a mistake, maladaptive coping mechanism, or simple human limitation, I still deserve a fighting chance at making the next day a better one.

[alprazogal]

learning that recovery is different for everyone has been a hard path. i thought i had to ignore all my disordered habits until they disappeared, but obviously they didn't, so i relapsed again and again.

then i started reading about addiction and how a psych team works with those kinds of patients, and i started to use that knowledge into my own recovery.

i will forever be addicted to starving. there will not be a day in my life in which i wake up and not think about my eating disorder, not think about weight loss nor counting calories.

however, i know the damage it made to myself, my body, and the ones i love. so i know i must stop one day at a time.

since i learned that i started being more compassionate to myself. started understanding that i had the habit of making those weight loss plans, the habit of counting calories, and that stuff. and that can't change fast. and it's alright.

i allow myself to count calories if i want to, i just try to keep them into a healthy amount, that's enough for me and my body. If i have a rough day, i can also make those weight loss plans i used to, i just don't force myself to follow them.

i found my eating disorder was rooted in trauma, and my ocd has much to do with it. so when i am triggered about daily life stuff, or i feel anxious, i find myself returning to this habit.

it's not easy to stop acting like you hate yourself when it's all you learned. it's alright. it will pass. just be compassionate and understanding. ed are also addictions, and it's not easy to battle it

[outragedtortilla]

want to print this out and paste it into each new scrapbook

[wikipedie]

hey don't cry. you try so hard because you care. you want to matter and I'll tell you that you do. we may be replaceable in the cogs of capitalism but in the weaves of the universe we are irreplaceable. it's gonna be alright, ok?

[soothingbalmforyourhrt]

When the world says “give up”

Hope whispers “try one more time”

[thestarlightforge]

“From Your Internet Big Brother”

4/8/24

******

Y’all know that account on here who signs all his messages, “From your internet dad?” The guy who goes around offering support to discouraged LGBTQ+ youth, filling the life advice gap for those who need it?

I’m gonna try not to be preachy. (Not that his posts ever strike me as such.)

But, hi. It’s your big internet brother, and I have something important to say.

Friends? The amount of times I’ve said to myself, in the past 3 months, “Thank god I didn’t kill myself in high school?”

Incalculable. I lost track weeks ago.

Don’t do it, y’all.

I realize that I am probably no more or less effective than any other internet stranger in saying this to you, much less someone who really knows your life.

But I promise you—and if you know me at all, you know I don’t mess around with promises—it is not worth it.

Not for the jag weeds making you miserable right now, whether at school or elsewhere in your life. Not for the Southern oppressive education system that’s teaching you inaccurate (if any) information about racism, misogyny, queer people and hell knows what else. Not for the classes you don’t understand, the grades or scholarships you do or don’t get, or the fear that courses from the pit of your stomach to your fingertips 75% of the time about everything you’re facing.

Literally, none of it makes it worth it to opt out of this life.

And no, it’s not because the sky is pretty, or you might have a great career, or those stressful things will completely go away. The sky is pretty, that’s true; you don’t know what your adult life will look like, no matter how the grown folks around you currently feel about it (or how they may project their own fears and/or dreams over yours); and a lot of the stressors probably will at least change. But the color of the sky can’t fix everything. Most if not all of us will still have some bad people in our lives, even if it is less bad people. And we still live in a racist, sexist, queer-phobic, ableist, late-stage capitalist world.

So that’s not why.

I don’t talk about it much, because I hate it when my pain gets twisted into an inspiration-porn-like pity sentiment, e.g. “Your life is SO HARD with that WHEELCHAIR and OPERATIONS and HORRIBLE BRAIN, I can’t IMAGINE how you EVER do ANYTHING with such an AWFUL and PATHETIC existence.” (My new favorite answer to these sorts of wildly inappropriate comments is, “Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s.”) But I’ve had a pretty hard life. A lot of trauma and pain, both medical and personal/emotional. A hard life whose stress has, many times, gotten on top of me, to the point where I felt I didn’t know how to withstand it anymore—and no amount of contemplating either nature’s beauty, leaving toxicity behind, or a possible illustrious future career was enough to alleviate the pain.

But the reason, kids, why you shouldn’t kill yourself in high school, no matter how bad you’re hurting or how hopeless things feel—why you should instead get through it however you can besides acting on that thought—is because you never know when you are going to meet people who will make magic come back into your world.

We should all learn to love ourselves. The therapists are right about that. We should love us for us—not just for what we can give back, what we can contribute or produce, or how we can be “useful” to others. But humans are social creatures. We evolved to exist amidst communities. We grew and changed, and are changing, within nature—and it’s important to both appreciate those connections, and to understand and dismantle the oppressive systems that have been imposed on top of them as much as we can. But in my experience, for us wacky little gremlin guys, the most important part of this human thing is our ties to each other.

Chidi Anagonye/Michael Schur/“The Good Place” got it right: “Why choose to be good every day if there is no guaranteed reward we can count on, now or in the afterlife? I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone.”

So you keep going. Even if that means for years, you have to go on autopilot. Get through the trauma. Keep your head down, survive, whatever it is.

Because, simply, you never know when you’re gonna find your people. You never know when you’ll meet others who will turn out to be some of the loves of your life. The chaos of our universe—of living as a (mostly) three dimensional being who (mostly) experiences time linearly—is that you’ll never know who’s still out there. You can be observant, look for the signs, and do what you can to build community. But no matter what you do, you can’t predict with any real certainty when the day will come where you’ll look around and realize that instead of feeling hopeless, you are laughing with people who genuinely love and care about you. It’s asinine, for how years of pain can seem to drag themselves out and make a muddy, gross soup of your life. But the turnaround really does happen in a snap, just like that.

One morning, I felt I would be lonely forever, and I struggled to convince myself that all my life’s struggles were worth fighting through—or that my past traumas had been worth soldiering through.

Then, one evening, I sat with loved ones—people I didn’t even know existed six months ago—and instead of ignoring or chastising me… The first thing that happened? Was they asked me about “Dungeons and Dragons.” I didn’t expect them to understand or care, I just loved them anyway; thinking little of my own heart, I have a bad habit of resigning myself to letting it be enough just to be near people I care for, not hoping they will really care for me. But they started our group hang by asking that, and then really listening—even though they don’t understand it. Because they care. About me. They love me.

Just like that, kids. Just like that.

So your mission, friends? Survive. Because I want this for you, too. ❤️

Love,

Your Internet Big Brother.

[vizthedatum]

I saw this and…

I want to believe this. I want this to be my reality.

My last partner - they did a lot for me - and I would always remind them that they should only do things for me if they could and if they can. I don’t want anyone to overextend themselves. Because I know how that goes.

There are people who can’t be there for me, and that’s ok! I just need clarity about it.

Just as much as I am learning how to stand up for myself and my personal boundaries, I need people to be honest with me too. Even if it’s disappointing.

My ex (and honestly several exes) started building resentment for the things they did for me - so let me be clear:

I don’t want it if it’s not done with love and care. Yes, I might need help with heavy-lifting or coming to an appointment with me or a task I’m struggling with… but I do not want help that is conditional, out of obligation that is completely misguided and not centered in love, and/or with strings attached (unless a prior arrangement of trade has been negotiated).

[evergreenforevermore]

Daily reminder to not take criticism from anyone you wouldnt take advice from ♡

[literature-is-my-utopia]

[transcendragon]

Be Still for A Moment (reminders #4) - the next in my reminders series. I actually really like how this one came out. It’s soothing to me

My original art made in Procreate, image description in alt text

[marliesjournal]

you may have a bad start to the year but that doesn’t mean it won’t get better later on down the line !! stay strong, your time of peace and happiness will come

[crisishauntline]

I will heal. I will change. I will grow.

I have done all of this before and can do it again, as many times as the world requires it. And as many times as I decide to.

[zeena-athena]

One day you'll be in a place where your presence will be cause for celebration. Where the words that come forward from you will be met with mirth and happiness. Where you won't feel put out or out of place. It may be small, with only a few people to decorate its walls, but you'll be there one day. I have faith in you.

[inthenimtime]

Attention is the purest and rarest form of generosity