#soft reminders

[javeria-as]

"The biggest mistake we make is that we build our homes in other people. We build those homes and we decorate them with the love and care and respect that makes us feel safe at the end of the day. We invest in other people, and we evaluate our self worth based on how much those homes welcome us. But what many don’t realize is that when you build your home in other people, you give them the power to make you homeless. When those people walk away, those homes walk away with them, and all of a sudden, we feel empty because everything that we had within us, we put into them. We trusted someone else with pieces of us. The emptiness we feel doesn’t mean we have nothing to give, or that we have nothing within us. It’s just that we built our home in the wrong place."

― Najwa Zebian, Welcome Home: A Guide to Building a Home for Your Soul.

[slfcare]

good things to pay attention to more often

the color of trees

clouds and how they look different throughout the day

the different colors the mornings can have. sometimes it's an orange hue and sometimes pink and sometimes it's too misty to tell

pretty color schemes in random places (the trees and your neighbors wooden patio and the color of their car)

the states of the vehicles passing you by, dents and scratches and the different trinkets suspended from their rearview mirrors

the sound of silence

the shadows the lights cast in your home, like how sunset looks different than sunrise, and the shadows the sun casts look different than those of your lamps and candles

pretty details in buildings and houses like certain types of windows or doorknobs or archways

the movement of things in the wind. flags, leaves, flowers, people's hair and coats

[happy-place-for-sad-people]

something my therapist told me and might help you through difficult times: your brain holds resistance to change. you've been doing something for so long now, to the point that's what you consider normal or routine. you wanting to change that for one reason or the other will be conflicting, and your system will probably make you feel like that's not what you want or need, but remember it's just your brain playing tricks on you. you're on the right path, sweet soul, keep it going. i love you.

[petaltexturedskies]

You've still got your inner world — a world that's more real. That's why you're different from the rest of us: you have your secret garden; to which you can retire and lock the gate behind you.

T.S. Eliot, from "The Confidential Clerk" in The Complete Poems and Plays of T. S. Eliot

[creatingnikki]

things to remember in 2024

i. more quiet time, more silence. more shavasana, more stillness.

ii. keep promises you make to yourself. everyone else can be disregarded — the promises they make, the promises you make to them.

iii. there is no "should do this" or "should be that way" as a universal rule book. your experiences and lessons teach you what are your values, preferences, and takes on life and people. you don't need to convince others of them, you don't even need to most times articulate them to follow them and do as you please.

iv. things that increase your risk of chronic health (mental and physical) issues: sitting, smoking, and situationships. your legs, lungs, and love life deserve much better.

v. 'the best way to take care of the future is to take care of the present moment'. fight the instant gratification, the fomo, the yolo. do the healthy thing for you in the moment, every moment.

vi. go to the salon, the bookstore, the train station, the beach, the bakery more than you go to the bar, the boy's house, and self doubt/loathing.

vii. travel even if you don't have a big budget and cannot do everything you'd want to in that destination because you do now want some travel experiences and stories while you're still in your 20s. make it a priority now, you don't want to feel bitter later.

viii. stop trying to frustrate and confuse yourself so much. you are both the vivacious, warm, kind, person and the somber, detached, pensive person. it's not one betraying the other. it's both you — the sunflower and the black orchid.

ix. ask people of things, it's no virtue to only give and not take. however, don't be so sensitive or shattered if not given or denied. people don't have as much power over your heart as you believe. your heart is happily vacationing on the moon most months of the year away from this worldly chaos. it's your ego that cannot take it. acknowledge the role of your ego, learn to understand it so that you can work with it.

x. do the cringe things. post a hundred reels on Instagram even if you get five likes on each. cringe at that part of you that cringes when you do the things you want instead of cringing at yourself. when you do that you're viewing yourself as a third-party judging yourself and honestly love aren't there thousands out there to do that job already? so then you stick to your job — support yourself no matter how you decide to live your life.

xi. love and romance are not the centre or purpose of your life. you are. the genre of your life is neither rom com nor tragic passionate romance. it's slice of life. love and romance will happen when it happens and will be one part of your life. but all the other parts? they belong to you — to your art and writing, to your joy and exploration of yourself and this world, to your family and friends, to food and cats, to travel and music, to peace and sleep. live a full life.

xii. set processes for your routine that streamline everything and make it easy. your morning work commute, your night skincare, going over your monthly budget, saving and investing for your goals, how you organize your life and time. and when problems show up, simply problem solve. don't take it personally, try to not feel dejected and doomed. and for the times you do, don't try to fix anything. take a shower, eat a good meal, go to sleep.

xiii. when setting boundaries, and when those boundaries are crossed, you don't have to break your head trying to get the other person to change their behaviour. instead, you should change your behaviour. if they cross a boundary, then that should be your cue for a behaviour change, a decision. don't be at the mercy of another's understanding and compassion to have your life be aligned to your needs and values.

xiv. three steps taken > three hundred steps planned. pausing for three months > abandoning for three years. three people you love and who love you > thirty people who are fluff. idk why three is the magic number here but you get the gist. moderation, my love, and balance. regulation and removal.

xv. cut out the noise. you'll figure out more of what that means as you begin to do it. it's social media, yes. it's societal conditioning, yes. but it's also the things your loved ones say despite having the best intentions at heart for you. it's the things the younger you believed and thought and wrote. it's the friends and lovers who come and go and don't really know you well. it's all of it. you have to cut out the noise. build noise-cancelling headphones for your soul over time and carry them with you everywhere.

[lettersbycandlelight]

[ed-recoverry]

The biggest lesson I’ve learned from being on the internet for so many years is that blocking and scrolling is usually the best option.

Especially to folks who are sensitive, have big emotions, have strong opinions, and or have trauma. Where certain content or responses can be really upsetting.

Ignoring it just gives so much more peace than fighting.

You’re not going to change their opinion. It’s just going to make you more upset.

It may feel invalidating or like you “lost,” but it genuinely makes being online so much easier.

If a post or comment is mildly annoying, just scroll. If it’s really upsetting, just block the user. Don’t engage. Don’t feed into it. That negative feeling will pass a lot quicker than if you engage.

While it’s important to not live in an echo chamber, don’t torture yourself when it’s not needed. Creating your own safe bubble online isn’t a crime. And it makes life a lot easier.

[alicewritten]

create something with your own hands and let it go without expecting it to be perfect and maybe you’ll calm down

[comfortfrogblog]

[illbestarryeyedforyou]

@sprxeadpositivity

[transcendragon]

There Is Beauty In Small Things - another gentle reminder with a dragon. A very, very tiny dragon

My original art made in procreate, image description in alt text

[ardent-reflections]

If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.

Charles Bukowski

[happy-place-for-sad-people]

you'll never feel ready, and while there's fear and anxiety in that, there's also a decent amount of freedom and joy. you'll never feel ready, but that won't stop life, and whatever needs to happen will, and you'll survive it. you'll outgrow it, and the version of yourself you thought you were. you'll build yourself up from the scratch, and you'll start again. and then again, you won't feel ready, but with uncertainty there's possibility, and adventure, and hope. just make sure you're there for the ride! keep it going, baby, you got it!!💛

[beamingdesign]

I’m ready for this new era of me

[littlemisswithacloudedmind]

Healing is never linear.

you realise it's time to let them go. you start taking care of yourself. you buy yourself flowers.

But then it's sunday afternoon, you start missing them. you cry. you wipe your tears and make a decision to stay strong and move on.

And the cycle continues.

[ed-recoverry]

Reminder to go to the doctor for intimate areas, even if you feel embarrassed!!!

Doctors have seen all parts of the human body, inside and out. To them, it’s just a body part.

Every body has genitals, buttholes, and breasts! They need the same care as the rest of your body.

Please go to the doctor if you feel a lump in your breast (both AFAB and AMAB).

Please go to the doctor if new marks, skin tags, discoloration, or other irregularities appear on your breast.

Please go to the doctor if your genitals are in pain.

Please go to the doctor if your genitals are itchy.

Please go to the doctor if your genitals have spots or marks not usually there.

Please go to the doctor if sex is painful.

Please go to the doctor if you had a sex related injury.

Please go to the doctor if you were injured when masturbating.

Please go to the doctor if menstruating is extremely painful.

Please go to the doctor if it hurts to pee or poop.

Please go to the doctor if there is blood in your pee or poop.

Please go to the doctor if you can’t pee.

Please go to the doctor if you can’t poop.

Please go to the doctor if you’re pooping too much.

Please go to the doctor if you suspect you contracted an STI.

Please go to the doctor for yearly checkups.

Please go to the gynecologist.

Please go for mammograms.

Please get colonoscopies or other butt or genital related testing.

Please go to the doctor for sex education or questions.

Please ask doctors questions about breasts, genitals, and buttholes.

Is it possible there is no problem and you got embarrassed for nothing? Yep. But safe rather than sorry is always the most important regarding your health. Don’t risk your health because of embarrassment.