#doesnt matter time doesn't exist here

[asterdeer]

if i told you about a character who should have been a normal kid going to school but the universe decided he was a mistake and should never have been made and transported him to a liminal in-between pocket of hellish nothingness where all the world's mistakes were consigned, and living things there should have been frozen but he was awake and conscious, and when the heroes came to rescue another "mistake" they didn't even realize he was there and left him to rot, but he clung to their vehicle on the way out of the pocket hell dimension and was disfigured and permanently changed and robbed of his memories because of it until he was reminded by the heroes who then abandoned him and left him to become a villain out of necessity.................... no way you aren't DYING to know what incredible piece of fiction you've somehow missed out on, where can you find it, you want to be emotionally and psychically destroyed by this character. and i would have to tell you that he's a minor character named rob from cartoon network's cartoon the amazing world of gumball.

[talkorsomething]

genuinely tried to Be Asleep for like two hours this time and just couldn't. I think i'm cursed [unwell]

[butchosprey]

project 2025 has been my reality in oklahoma for years. we already have so many of these goals in effect in my state. abortion is illegal, they use tax money to fund christian schools, queer kids are fucking murdered, native americans are constantly having their rights challenged, and the only damn thing these politicians are worried about is the possibility of children pretending to be animals.

this whole fucking project 2025 shit doesnt phase me. its some strawman for biden-kamala subaru owners to use and say "this is why we have to vote blue no matter who". dems have given up on me and others red states. most of the choices on my ballot are only red. no blue. zilch. nothing. notta.

you fucking queer ass dems in blue states get to eat your brick oven pizza and forget me and everyone else in the south exists. you get to smoke weed and forget there are over a million of Black, latino, and native american prisoners suffering for years in prison for carrying an insignificant amount of weed 10 years ago. there are hundreds of people denied basic health care on a daily basis, simply because there's a possibility they might get pregnant. i have literally almost died multiple times in my life for this reason, and i have met so many others -- MAINLY BLACK PEOPLE -- with similar stories.

children are suffering. BIPOC are suffering. women are suffering. literally so many people here are suffering, and you wanna forget that, so you pretend we're all just backwards bumfucks. its not biden that will give us our freedom. he's had the power to do something for me and my people for nearly four damn years, and he has chosen nothing but silence. democrats have already turned their backs on us.

i'm not giving up. because i still find beauty and something to love, even in a place as hostile as this. and if fucking propped up corpse doesn't win in November, you shouldn't give up either.

[jellykyunnie]

˗ˏˋ Entry : 046 - Jinwoo x Fem! Reader ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ˎˊ˗

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕚𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

╰┈➤ ❝ [ All of Him ] ¡! ❞

His Hands

Long and slender fingers who would never dare to harm your precious body and only aims to ever pamper and care for you. His lingering touches would always feel slightly ticklish as it ghosts over your delicate skin. 

Jinwoo would never dare lift a heavy hand on you.

Hell, he would rather cut his limbs off than ever dare to imagine it.

His hands will never fail to caress your face, his thumb swiping affectionately across your fluffy cheek. 

Jinwoo would always offer his hand to you wherever you two may be. He just can’t get enough of you really.

And maybe it’s also because he has developed separation anxiety over the years of spending his time in the gates fighting wars against the monarchs and the beasts they have summoned to attempt making him submit to them.

So really, how could he not cherish you after spending almost decades being battered in a bloody hellscape? 

Jinwoo wants nothing more than to pamper and care for you with his hands.

Hands that have ended many but will always, always, be gentle for you and you only.

His Eyes

Oh his eyes, those charming grey eyes of his.

They would look at you like you’re the only existence that would ever matter in this godforsaken world.

His foes recognize him with the familiar blazing lilac in his eyes. Once they see that color, they know their existence will undoubtedly disappear from this world or maybe they will be turned into one of his abominations.

With everyone else, he was always a cold and stoic person, the warmth that he had once disappeared overtime with his growth as a player. Everyone around him would always be afraid of his eyes. They say that when they look at him it’s akin to staring directly at the abyss.

Hence why people would always avoid looking at him.

But with you?

With you, it’s different.

He wouldn’t have a hint of lilac in his eyes.

Lilac is the shadow monarch.

Grey is Sung Jinwoo.

Grey is your Jinwoo.

As long as you’re in his sight, everything is beautiful.

Though this world is littered by cruelty and unsightliness, Jinwoo forgets all of it the moment you are in view.

He looks at you as his goddess.

Everything that you are and will ever do is beautiful. There’s really nothing he could say or think to describe anything else.

So long as you are here, everything is seen through rose-colored lenses.

When Jinwoo looks at you, the emptiness and sadness in his weary heart would disappear in an instant. He wishes that he can just spend every waking moment by your side and overlooking you as you did usual menial activities. Everything that you do is extremely adorable to him after all.

He just can’t help it, he can’t help but love you. 

His Arms

Strong and firm, his arms have ended a lot of his foes brutally. But to you?

They're your safe haven.

When everything gets too cold, you can always count on Jinwoo to embrace you and share his warmth with you.

When the world becomes too overwhelming, you hide in his arms that doesn't question you and would immediately shelter you into safety.

Jinwoo would always cradle you into his loving arms.

He in fact loves it the most when you're tucked into his embrace. He gets to pamper you with so much affection.

Though he would always be mindful and make sure he doesnt squeeze you too much.

The strength of the shadow monarch isn't one to be trifled with.

So he, who loves you more than anything else in the world— Wishes nothing more than to make sure you are safe and sound in his embrace.

His Body

Tall, dark and handsome.

Jinwoo's frame is something he honed to perfection to complement his role as the shadow monarch.

He is powerful and imposing.

His figure sends a shiver on anyone's body the moment he is on sight.

Lanky may he be, but he is the perfect vessel for war. He trained himself to the absolute limits.

And his skin shows proof of it all.

Burn scars from the late monarch Antares.

Multiple and giant scars that prove his decades of war.

Oh but to you?

He uses it to care for you.

He'd use his exceptional strenght to carry gifts for you or carry all the luggage he has undoutebly forced you to accept during your many, many shopping sprees.

Honestly he does it so often that you completely forget that he is actually a man that ended monarchs and demons alike. In your eyes? He is just someone who enjoys being of service to you.

Jinwoo's towering figure would always make you feel extremely small, but not to the point he makes you feel afraid.

You know this man better than anything else, he also wishes to use himself as a shield for everything else that dares to try and harm you.

He'd always lift you up in his arms and pull your face into the crook of his neck.

When he does that, you know better than to lift your head up and dare to look at anywhere else. When Jinwoo does that, it means that he made quite the scene with someone who dared to disrespect you in front of his eyes.

You pretty eyes are only meant to see pretty things.

And Sung Jinwoo is dead set on making sure of that.

His Lips

Those sweet, pink and thin lips of his.

Lips that open to praise you like you're a precious flower.

Lips that could never get enough of you when he peppers you with loving pecks and kisses.

Jinwoo's normally empty and harsh words would morph into tender ones. As if he has a language made to be used for you only.

His kisses are feathery light, aiming to kiss every inch of you. From your forehead, to your cheeks, to the corners of your lips, to your collarbone and your delicate digits.

Jinwoo is never good with his words, but he makes up for it with his delicate pecks.

He will never go by 2 minutes without kissing you somewhere whether it was a gentle one or one where he's utterly frustrated with how cute you are that he can't help himself.

He'd be in a sour mood if he goes by a day without your kisses.

The first time it happened it was a complete hellday for his coworkers since he was exceptionally prissy that day.

So Jinwoo makes sure to shower you with loving pecks before he is off to work.

On his Knee

As the shadow monarch, he makes everyone around him grovel to the ground. His existence itself exudes regality that they'd instinctively be on their kness.

You're an exception though.

The same man who makes every being around him beg for mercy and ultimately lower themselves into nothing more than isignificant beings; the same man who has humbled the monarchs into nothing more than a pile of ashes and bones—

He will be down on one knee for you.

"Sarang, you know what this means, don't you?" He says in a tender voice when he lowered himself down to the ground.

In this paradise that he takes you to every once in a while, the secret garden he built himself by turning a dying island into a lush forest with flowers all around you both— Jinwoo is down on one knee in this very place that is for you and you only.

"I'm not good with words hahah, I might screw up the atmosphere with how flimsy and stupid I am with confessing my feelings," He chuckles softly, taking out a small velvet box and opening it to reveal a golden band with a gleaming gem on it. "But know that I will do anything for you."

"Do you want the world at your knees? I can do that. But knowing how kind and selfless you are, I know you wont let me do such a thing. Still, I want you to know that all that I am and all that I'll ever be is yours. I love you. More than anything in this world. I don't know how I can show you how completely and utterly devoted I am to you. If you want to use me as a bridge to get you to where you want to be, so be it. If you want to use me as the stepping stone to reach your dreams, then I'll let you use me however you want."

"Just know that I love you so much."

In those grey eyes you can see a blaze that will only be there when it's looking towards you, a fire that will only burn for you.

This man is willing to dance atop the flames if it means to make you happy.

Jinwoo would let himself burn for you.

"I don't really need anything fancy" You tearfully smile, extending a hand to him to which he gently takes. "I just want to spend my life with you and the next ones."

"Then we will." Jinwoo cooes as he slips the ring onto your finger and brings it up to his lips to kiss it, now murmuring against your soft skin "In every lifetime I'll find you, fall in love with you, and marry you. I want to be your husband and be the father to your children."

"Just as long as you're in my reach, I am capable of doing anything."

꒰ 🪼 A/N: We're so back now my precious guppies. I hope you guys like my new layout too since it's simpler and easier for our eyes now www. It's still my branding style so xDD!!! I just switched up a few elements here andStarting out slow and steady with a Jinwoo proposal fic because I love my hubby. ꒱

ʚ(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ .｡✧: ~♡ —! stories written by kyunnie; translations, reposts, plagiarism are strictly forbidden.

[blue-wolfe]

hi blue..just wondering if u had any thoughts on the sexualities of the characters without a canon one (like soren, fennel, etc) or if it doesnt matter/is up to interpretation?

Here is everyone if it hasn't been shared yet:

Jedidiah is unlabeled mlm. He would not fight it if you called him gay, but he also wouldn't fight it if you called him bisexual. He doesn't like to label it because he doesn't know. Before Sydney, he thought that he was straight. He just likes Sydney.

Sydney is gay.

Elijah is gay.

Adam is bisexual (and he wants you!)

Yvonne and Salem are both lesbians.

Marisol and Joshua are both bisexual.

Rowan is bisexual, and Juniper is gay.

Soren... doesn't have time to worry about that right now. There is necro-work to be done!

Fennel is bisexual.

Warren and Gracie are both likely straight.

Lucille is straight but not interested whatsoever. She is functionally aromantic.

Juno and Mila both have to be straight, I'd assume.

Marie Ann Calico can be a lesbian though. As a treat.

Matthew is whatever sexuality you are.

I want to clarify that a character's sexuality will only come up in text if it's relevant. I answered this for fun, but this is not the gospel or anything for representation. The characters' sexualities exist insofar as they need to for the narrative satisfaction and relationship relevance.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/789702546863374336/im-not-surprised-but-at-the-same-time-absolutely?source=share

I didnt read the whole ask so im not talking sbout any other things here besides the top part with the picture.

They arent entirely wrong. Sure homophobia IS a choice and they are wrong for being homophobic

But they arent wrong about people instantly reacting negatively towards any lgbt stuff nowadays BECAUSE of toxic fans and then slowly becoming radicalized against lgbt stuff

Im saying this as some who is queer. Im saying this as someone who enjoys queer media

But even i have turned away from ships and headcannons because of certain fans being unable to behave and dominate the space with hatred and toxicity to people who dont follow them

Whether choosing homophobia is wrong or right doesn't actually matter here. The fact of the matter is that people are being given a reason to hate lgbt stuff BY lgbt people or allies who cant behave.

And THAT is the problem.

Idk much about that artist or what they really mean but what i explained is what i mean.

Its no longer fun to headcannon characters as gay or trans anymore because EVERY character has to be some flavor of queer and if you disagree they you must be homophobic and should be driven out of fandom

I dont entirely blame people for wanting to then in turn remove lgbt stuff from fandom as retaliation for being unjustly pushed out themselves for the inexcusable crime of liking a character as they are in canon or "cis/het" in general.

It doesnt help that nearly every post about characters and their gender or sexuality now are incredibly passive aggressive about "cis/het"being bad or wrong.

So like ueah i agree that homophobia is terrible and people choosing to hate the gays now is a problem

But yknow maybe we should listen to why they choose that and try to be better? Like we've already acknowledged toxic fans exist so can we now acknowledge their existence has genuine consequences? Like real consequences that will not just affect random strangers but YOU and your community too?

We cant just defend or tolerate bad behaviour because the people perpetrating it support lgbt people and characters and media. Its not hard to be civil.

And telling people who once supported lgbt and are now homophobic because theyve been hurt by toxic fans that they are disgusting people and are in the wrong is not going to help. Dismissing their experiences because you don't agree with the outcome is not going to help anyone much less prevent it from continuing to happen or remedy the situation.

--

Oh, honestly.

Dude, annoying fans have been turning people off of things forever, but if a property is remotely popular—some Marvel thing or a big anime, let's say—then its audience is rife with regular homophobes actively trying to weaponize young dumbasses to make homophobia the norm.

All of those fandoms have just as many "How dare you make them gay???" toxic fans, but we don't assume that those people are why others don't ship het or don't write gen fic. There's this laser focus on Bad Queer Shipping instead of a general understanding that some fans are too intense, too assholish, and need to be blocked for one's peace of mind.

Even on Tumblr, many of the original posts in long chains about how "Wah, the toxic fandom for X made me only like het!" are open fundamentalist loonies. They word their propaganda in a way that appeals to tumblrites so that it will go viral, but Mean Queer Shippers aren't the actual reason. Jesus is the actual reason.

We, we, we. What is this we? There is no monolith of queer fandom that supports jackasses ripping each other's heads off for daring to ship the blorbo wrong.

"A black person was mean to me, so now racism is fine" fools are everywhere. They'll use queerness as an excuse. They'll use race as an excuse. They're either bigots or so far up their own asses that "I experienced pain once" is a valid reason for any level of shitty behavior. They don't need sympathy. They need boundaries.

[prettyflyshyguy]

*You awake to the sound of pots and pans clanging together*

Sorry it took a bit. Idk how in depth this one will be, I am still recovering from A Lot going on in my life but I'm trying to squeeze this in real quick while I have a moment today.

I cannot BELIEVE we're almost at the end of the season!

Ough this little conversation was good. I love and hate how this show makes me feel like I'm looking in a mirror at times. It makes me want to evaluate myself, how I handle difficult things, how I talk and communicate effects others. It makes me want to work on myself. I'm not perfect, nobody is, but we can always try harder to be better yknow. I think the fact that this show has such a varied group of very different people, who all deeply care about each other, but all still handle things differently, it's really fun to watch but also can convey a strong message because you're viewing it through this slightly seperated lense (of Murderbot)

Gurathin you are really KICKING the hornets nest here (I love it I LOVE IT I love it when there's tension like this I love how high pitched the sound of the kettle boiling is)

I don't know if I'm seeing things but I thought I saw the slightest HINT of an eye twitch when MB turns to look at him and also the way this show uses lighting SO SUBTLELEY especially on actors faces is sublime.

The way right after it stares right at him he does the darting up, down, look away (RELATABLE) and just hits him with the "I notice you have an issue with eye contact." HILLARIOUS. 10/10. So glad the show just does a little throwback but also a moment of recognition between them. It is unlikely to bring forth anything positive (they're both too pissed at each other - and for good reason) but its nice to see there's maybe a moment of recognition. Regardless of if it leads anywhere positive, it's neat to see it thrown back in Gura's face. Get fucking dunked on.

The silent recognitionn right after, Gura slowly looks back at it directly in a moment of recognition and acceptance. No snappy retort, no snarky comment, he's had so much attitude and feels emboldened ("I never thought I'd make it this far. It's all bonus" dude is in full 'it doesnt matter! Fuck it!!' mode and he's not nearly as focused on self preservation as he might've once been. He's stressed, scared and acting a little bit irrationally given he probably deeply wants the rest of the crew to live! But him provoking the terrifying robot that their existence likely hinges on, is counter to this just a teeny tiny bit. Like sure, you don't know if you can trust it, but at this stage what choice do you have?)

Then just for MB to also quietly, uncomfortably look away too. As soon as Gura meets it's gaze it looks away, first in its eyes, then its head.

Ugh I love it.

"What is that?"

"Don't worry about it."

HOLD UP. THAT'S MY LINE. THAT'S MY CATCHPHRASE. YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I MADE THIS COMPANY!!!

(I'm joshing but hearing it say that caught me so off guard - I use the phrase "Don't worry about it!" borderline excessively, its a running gag with a friend that it's become like a personal brand catchphrase. Thanks Murderbot. It's a good line. Very versatile. It almost always causes people to worry more but that's why its neat LMAOOO)

"If anyone tells you that, start worrying."

TOO TRUE LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Look hear me out, Gurathin is an asshole, absolutely, but he's painfully relatable a solid 80% of the time OK.

"It's so..."

"Yep."

"... Hot."

"Hot?? I-- thought you were gonna say frustrating..."

the way he's trying to brain it out in the background, he's repeating he words, he doesn't get it, MATE ME TOO LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO

He loves his friends but every now and then they'll say something that short circuits his brain and he's suddenly violently isolated from their emotional experience and IT'S SO GOOD IT'S SO SO SO GOOD

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH THE FRAMING THE LITTLE HAD GESTURE OOOOOOOOOH I LOVE IT I love how much this show trusts its audience oh my godd

OK BUT THE FACT IT WAS LIKE "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT"

ONLY TO PRODUCE A SEVERED HEAD FROM THE BAG

I'M THE TARGET AUDIENCE. WHOEVER WROTE THAT HAS A PSYCHIC CONNECTION TO MY BRAIN. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

I love that this ultimately was a group decision. No one's hand was forced (literally), they all acknowledged each other and the apprehension, and they all participated in the action.

They're all scared but they're all a part of it.

This looks so dodgy I love it. Just tape that shit straight onto it.

Also very fun that they personalised the drone (the green symbol painted on)

GOD THE HORROR - I love how in the end we were setup to think up until this point that it was going to prioritise itself over PresAux, like maybe it hit it's limit, maybe it'd decided it was done with them completely and it didn't care anymore. But nope, we were just left in the dark, the same as PresAux, because in the end we're humans too, and we'd be horrified too to find out that it's intention was to murder GreyCris - just like PresAux was when they found out. But it's doing it to save all of their lives. Beautiful. Horrifying. The push and pull. The price you have to pay, where you draw that line in the sand.

Also very funny how it said at the end of E08 "I'll write my own script" or something. And then it goes onto copy a plot from Sanctuary Moon. It's not a satirical comedy without a stupid bit. I love it.

The fact it goes to say something to them. It tries, it pauses, it hesitates, just to go "I... I copy."

And maybe, just maybe, this marks an actual true turning point inside Gurathin's brain. Maybe this is the moment that finally tipps him over the edge.

I have nothing intelligent to offer here except: WHAT GOOD SHOTS. WHAT GOOD FRAMING. WHAT GOOD USE OF CONTRASTING COLOUR/SHADE, MATERIALS AND SHAPES IN THE DESIGN LANGUAGE.

IT'S AFFECTED BY TURBULANCE MORE THAN IT USED TO BE?? IT SAID SORRY??? OH NO MURDERBOT THAT'S A LOT LIKE A HUMAN ISN'T IT LMAOOOOO

"Hello?? Do you have a PLUG in the back of your head??"

I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, HANG ON, JUST GIMMIE A SEC

I DREW THIS IN 2019. IT IS ENDLESSLY ENTERTAINING TO ME HOW SIMILAR GURATHIN IS TO O'BYRNE. THIS IS FUELING ME IN WAYS YOU WILL COME TO UNDERSTAND (if you're new here. Hi!!!!)

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. THE SIMILARITIES, THE PARRALLELLS, I'M NOT MAD TO CLARIFY--

I'M EXCSTATIC.

ANYWAY IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE A #1 GURATHIN FAN OMFG

"Where are you from?"

They were spellbound.

"Where are we from? None of your fucking business."

"Fair enough. No need to be rude."

I'M CRYING

STOP THAT STOP THAT STOP THAT

PIN LEE COMING IN WITH THE SURVIVAL HORROR SPACE WRENCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

psychic information overload BRAIN BLAST

THE WAY GURATHIN NOTICES IT FIRST

oh MAN WHAT A GOOD FUCKING SEMI-FINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This show really has done an excellent job at maintaining itself and just keeping the enjoyment going every time, it makes every episode worthwhile looking forward to, and so far there hasn't been a flop. Absolutely fantastic example of modernised serialised TV. I'm so excited for the finale. It will be bittersweet, with no clear indication if we're getting an S2, but even if we don't: this was a damn good ride.

OK - but some quick 'implications' comments to end on--

Mensah fired her gun at someone and almost hit then (which very likely would have been lethal)

Pin Lee decked a guy over the head with a wrench, which is absolutely lethal (it just would be slow, and horrific)

The beacon (hopefully) took out the remaining GreyCris that they didn't take out themselves (the degree of willingness on the leader to kill her crew was a really interesting and fun touch, it shows how differently they operate)

In the heat of the moment shit happened too fast for anyone to stop and think, but like. They're gonna have to live with this now. Especially Pin Lee (I hope this comes up later). That was brutal, and I hope it's something they have to reconcile with later individually as well as within the group.

It just stacks and stacks and stacks up. I love it.

[mymoshangthoughts]

aight im bit by a plunnie bug again and by the gods, i love it

what about: ACTUAL gold digger airplane

bare with me.

make it any modern au with rich mobei jun. is he a ceo? is he just from old money? is he qinghua's boss? i literally do not care. just make mobei jun rich as fuck

enter shang qinghua: piss poor and struggling with the bills and dependent on the au, maybe dealing with a slightly abusive boss who is always mean to him for no clear reason. sure, the boss is hot, but damn no one likes a shit boss

and shang qinghua one day just wakes up with his broken aircon and his crappy apartment and his empty food fridge and his aching body and goes "fuck this. im going to climb that man like a tree."

it has nothing to do with love or even lust in the beginning. shang qinghua just wants to be a sugar baby, god dammit, and he'll seduce the meanest guy he's ever met to get it even if it fucking kills him

sure, mobei jun is his type and literally his ideal man, but thats not what this is about. this is about wanting to have REAL meals and to not beg landlords not to evict him as he only can afford partial rent and not having to go write his smut in public cuz his power went out again, either the faulty wiring in the building or the power company was sick of his iou bullshit

POINT BEING, he wants LUXUARY. he wants to be SPOILED. he wants more money than he knows what to do with! he wants an allowance and warm clothes and COMFORT

and frankly speaking, the target didnt matter. mobei jun could have been a gross and sleazy old man for all the fucks qinghua gave about the current target. at this point, qinghua would have seduced jin guangshan if it got him out of poverty, he does not care. mobei jun just so happened to be close and convenient and look, it doesnt hurt that he's hot

so yes. this is what i want. slowburn romance with airplane doing his fucking damndest to seduce the fuck out of mobei jun for his money and slowly falling uncontrollably in love with him over the process. dealers choice if mobei jun is slowburn falling in love as well or if he was already in love with qinghua or anything inbetween.

i also think it's interesting both directions for mobei's knowledge. like, if mobei jun KNOWS what shang qinghua is doing the whole time, that's pretty funny. mobei jun sitting here like "welp, this is certainly the funniest gold digger that crawled into my lap thats for sure". or the angst route of mobei doesn't know and he thinks shang qinghua is 100% sincere in his affections and the heartbroken fallout when he learns that shang qinghua only pursued him for his wallet and airplane having to fall all over himself to apologize and grovel for forgiveness. basically, both directions are really good and i love this

this brain worm will not leave me and i am haunted by it

if anyone knows of a fic that already exists with this basic premise, please send it my way because i have a NEED

gimme secretary qinghua climbing into his bosses lap and begging sweetly for a new car

gimme barista qinghua winking at the clearly rich and difficult to please icy customer and asking to go to expensive restaraunts

gimme author qinghua sending sexy selfies to his very wealthy patron in hopes of getting more tips

gimme anything so long as my hamster man is an unrepentant gold digger and mobei is his target

[kingorqueenofnarnia]

TCON HEADCANON

.

Peter used to be the tallest of the four, until Susan turned fourteen and shot up to six feet— one inch taller than him. It earned him weeks of teasing from his three little shits until he hit sixteen and and shot up half a foot, reaching an astounding six feet four inches. This was in the middle of a campaign against the Raiders of Korentha, and even he did not realise he had grown until he returned home from war and suddenly he had to tilt his head down to look at Susan. Susan sulked for days, and was only appeased when Peter gifted her a beautiful pair of high heels. Peter likes being tall, even though he's not as tall as a Centaur— Susan likes his bear hugs, and he gets to make fun of the younger ones for being tiny squirts. Lucy regularly climbs him like a jungle gym until she hits her own growth spurt.

Susan cut an imposing figure at 15, with wide shoulders and a slender torso, standing at an impressive 6 feet even without her famous heels. She hated it at first— girls from England were short, much shorter than her, and so were many of the men. She always felt a little self conscious in a crowd because of how she towered over the average human. In Narnia, however, it was different. Druids and Naiads and Dryads regularly reached six feet, and centaurs were rarely shorter than seven. Fauns were short, but Bears stood on their hind legs and towered over her only to hand out the warmest hugs Susan had ever experienced apart from Peter's. Secretly though, no matter how much she teased Peter about being shorter than her, she was glad when he grew taller than her. (His hugs aren't as comforting if you're taller than him, alright?)

Halfway through Edmund's fifteenth year of existence, he was both shocked and pleased to find out he did not need to tilt his head back to look at Peter anymore. Peter was 18 and a giant, bear-like warrior king, his furs and long braids and armour making him look even larger, and Edmund was a lanky teenager with remnants of baby fat still on his cheeks and wiry muscle wrapped around thin bones— both of them were the same height, but Edmund looked boyish where Peter looked manly. It took him till he was in his early twenties to match Peter's bulk, but he stayed as tall as Peter for the rest of his life, not an inch here or there. (and Peter thanks the Fates for that. He doesnt know if he could withstand the amount of heckling that would come with being shorter than his brother.)

Lucy was the shortest of them her entire life. Until she was 14, she was about 5ft 4 inches, at which point she started growing like a weed and stopped at the very admirable height of five feet ten inches— just two inches short of Susan's height. It infuriated her to no end; being shorter than everyone was annoying, and even more so when you weren't actually short at all, just shorter than your siblings. At 5'10, she towered over many Narnian species as well as her classmates when she returned to England and went through puberty a second time, but she loved it. She loved being taller, loved that she was only shorter than her siblings— they may annoy her by teasing her about their heights, but being smaller meant the hugs were better, and really, why would she give up on a chance to climb Peter like a monkey so she could sit on his shoulders? No, Su, she doesn't care that it looks uncouth.

[lesbiansforboromir]

Alright, I was holding off for journalistic integrity but now that I've seen the WotR film I can make posts about it without restraint.

Jesus christ the racial politics of this film are atrocious. Some character might as well just tell Wulf 'not to play the race card'. Wulf is a liberal snowflake who blames racism for all his troubles and can't pull himself up by his bootstraps and he is also brown-skinned and obsessively pursues our PORCLAIN white dainty-drawn female protagonist with both romantic and murderous intent. Oppression of dunlendings by the Rohirrim exists only in Wulf's head apparently, though it can be tasted in every spat 'dunlending' perjorative that comes from Helm or Haleth's mouth. But Hera has absolutely no racism within her of course! She refuses Wulf because she doesnt want to marry anyone and Wulf just assumes it's because his dunlending blood disgusts her, so entitled of him!

But also maybe the racism is '''justified'''? If it exists? Which it doesn't! But IF it did, don't worry because ONCE AGAIN all the dunlendings are just greedy, clutching, unwashed, skull wearing, violent barbarians with no unique culture to speak of and no reasons to be making war on Rohan except to sieze what isn't theirs (ignoring the fact that it totally was theirs until Rohan seized it from them and OH BOY are we ignorin' that) And the only dunlending we see not frothing at the mouth for violence or showing any introspective depth at all is General Targg who is the mouthpiece with which we get to hear 'the girl (Hera) is right' whereupon he is promptly killed by Wulf.

Oh but of course, what else could Helm have done? Freca was some greedy FAT man (boy does everyone love calling him fat, happy to lean into THAT aspect of canon) whose lands were too prosperous for his own good (hang on isn't keeping your lands prosperous the platonic ideal of lordship?) And he called a 'Witan' (no he didn't, he came to one of the regular councils of lords that Helm called himself) just to make a scene about how Helm was going to marry Hera to a lord of gondor which is bad because Gondor has some nebulous hold over Rohan so Hera should marry Wulf instead (literally none of that, Freca simply asked Helm to wed his daughter to Wulf, his son, a completely normal and legitimate political strategy to secure a better relationship with the King's family since Helm already mistrusted him for having dunlending blood. Freca is a lord of Rohan, he is rich, he traces his ancestry back to King Freawine, this could not be a more reasonable suggestion in canon.)

SO OBVIOUSLY Helm had to get angry and call Freca fat again (true he did do that) and THEN claim that Freca only wanted his throne (there was never any suggestion of this in the books, it was just the offer of marriage which insulted Helm) to which Freca answered "Old kings that refuse a proffered staff may fall on their knees," and Helm is like okay lets take this outside.

And now THIS change is actually so important in understanding the extreme nature of the Rohir/Helm favouritism that is the main focus of this film. In the film Helm pretty much immediately takes Freca outside, he reassures Frealaf that Freca just needs to be shown his place, this is the only way to settle the matter, if he doesn't embarass him here then Freca will try to take his crown and slay his family apparently, his hunch ig etc etc. Freca punches Helm three times in full view of the whole of Edoras including Freca's two men who came with him, then Helm punches him back and he is knocked out cold and dead by the time he hits the ground. Film!Helm does not realise he has done this and tells Freca to get up, Wulf realises his father is dead and threatens Helm with revenge, swords are draw against him which he tries to calm before Wulf attacks him. Helm incapacitates Wulf, his sons draw THEIR swords and Helm exiles Wulf for drawing his sword on his king. Messy right? Like not a good thing to do, generally brawling with your lords is a bad idea full stop, but if you fear for the lives of your children then idk maybe it's excusable? And then it's just an unfortunate series of events right? And Freca was rude and insulting to a king in his own halls, heat of the moment etc etc

I feel so comfortable in telling you that Helm murders Freca in cold blood in the books, fully intending that to be the outcome.

He does not take him outside initially, Book!Helm tells Freca that this marriage dispute isn't important and they will deal with it later. And then;

When the council was over, Helm stood up and laid his great hand on Freca’s shoulder, saying: "The king does not permit brawls in his house, but men are freer outside"; and he forced Freca to walk before him out from Edoras into the field. To Freca’s men that came up he said: "Be off ! We need no hearers. We are going to speak of a private matter alone. Go and talk to my men!" And they looked and saw that the king’s men and his friends far outnumbered them, and they drew back. "Now, Dunlending," said the king, "you have only Helm to deal with, alone and unarmed. But you have said much already, and it is my turn to speak. Freca, your folly has grown with your belly. You talk of a staff! If Helm dislikes a crooked staff that is thrust on him, he breaks it. So!" With that he smote Freca such a blow with his fist that he fell back stunned, and died soon after. Helm then proclaimed Freca’s son and near kin the king’s enemies; and they fled, for at once Helm sent many men riding to the west marches.

(Appendices, 'The House of Eorl', emphasis mine)

I think we can all agree that forcing someone out of your city, isolating them away from their fellows with threats of violence, telling them you will break them, killing them in one blow and then proclaiming their kin your enemies and forcing them to flee to escape a murderous pursuit, is pretty clearly premeditated murder. There is not much nuance here, Freca tresspassed over a line with Helm that Dunlendings are not allowed to cross and Helm killed him for it.

And listen like, the description of this whole story within the appendices is barely more than three pages. This is not an obscure missable aspect of the tale, nor is it outside of what rights they had to adapt. The choice was made, actively, ONCE AGAIN by the Warner Bros cinematic universe makers, to drastically alter book events in order to sand down any immorality within Rohan's narrative, especially where the Dunlendings are concerned. And in the end the only 'mistake' Helm is allowed to learn and grow from is some nebulous and trite 'not believing enough in his daughter' schpiel, which needs to be the subject of a whole 'nother post actually.

And what's agonising is they COULD have done it like they were so close, there are multiple moments where me and my friend watching were like struck!! With grief! Over how impactful this moment could have been if only the racism actually existed as an acknowledged theme in the story. If only it was something Hera had to come to terms with, if only IT was the true driver of these horrors to the point where it's Avatar, Hera's father, a man who loves her and whom she has loved all her life, turns into a cold icey ghost of brutality, far more vicious and barbaric than the people he so reviles, and reveals to her the terrible truth of his actions and motivations. It's agony I tell you.

Anyway I did not like the film.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Love is Stored in the Cat: A Nepeta Leijon Character Study

I guess these are a series now! I also have a request for Feferi in my inbox that I'll get around to eventually.

SO! Dear, sweet Nepeta.

Nepeta is the troll that is most against the existence of the hemocaste.

I believe the Ultimate Self speech was originally going to be from her, not Davepetasprite^2.

She's bad at shipping.

These all make her extremely impurrtant!!!

So furst of all, I'm going to start with the same disclaimer as my Eridan essay (go read that first!!! It sets up a lot of ideas that I'm expanding on here), which is that the things Hussie says are going to be lowered in value, because he likes to play coy about plot stuff. I'm also not counting anything but the actual text as canon, and even with in that text, I'm counting everything after GAME OVER as soft canon - a suggestion of what would have been, often truncated for time, often a deliberate middle finger to the shitty fandom.

Okay, so with that squared away!

Nepeta Says Fuck The Hemocaste

I'm not going to bother doing a deep dive on Nepeta's characterization, because fur the most part, I think the fandom more or less gets her right - she wears her heart (h33h33) on her sl33ve, after all! She's a very sweet little catgirl who loves roleplay and shipping, who is also a vicious hunter of wild beasts and lives in a cave. She's very nice and friendly, but has a tough streak and a spine.

She also says fuck the hemocaste, why does that even exist:

CT: D --> Your fraternization with the base classes have 100sened your morals, can't you see this AC: :33 < no! i dont care, they are fun AC: :33 < and i dont know anything about classes or bases or blood color, it doesn't matter! AC: :33 < what does gr33n blood even mean! it doesnt mean anything to me and it shouldnt mean anything to anyone else!

This is a radical stance not outright shared by any of the other trolls. Aradia calls highbloods "hateful sn0bs" that she and Tavros shouldn't have "ever had anything t0 d0 with", the highbloods are, of course, all casteist to varying degrees, and even Karkat seems fairly accepting of the class divide, at one point taunting Vriska that her rejection from the blue team is "ANOTHER INFURIATING VICTORY FOR GUTTER BLOOD OVER ARISTOCRACY". Not to mention his long-held dream of becoming a threshecutioner.

Even Feferi, despite saying to Eridan that "W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!!", is actually perfectly comfortable with the caste system's existence, comparing having to stop using her royal typing quirk to "peasant-IFICATING" herself - and let's not forget that a Beforus under her rule had its caste system 100% intact.

This means that Nepeta is the ONLY troll who has said, in no uncertain terms, that the caste system should not exist. It's stupid, it's bad, and it doesn't meowtter!

AND SHE'S RIGHT.

But she's never able to fully express this opinion, which brings us to:

A COMPLICKATED RELATIONSHIP WITH EQUIUS

Now, before I say anything, I must insist that I do believe these two work as good moirails. That does not, however, stop them from being 13, and therefore, being poor to each other the way 13-year-olds sometimes are. I don't think they should break up; I think they should re-examine certain dynamics, and I think they need some space to breathe apart from each other.

Equius has a lot of problems, which I won't get into overmuch here, because... that's a whole essay on its own (are you people seeing a trend yet). But with regards to Nepeta specifically, he's extremely controlling and protective, to the point where she's a little scared of him before the game begins:

AC: :33 < well it does sound like it will be a lot of fun but i think i should get purrmission first GC: BL4R!!!!! GC: TH4TS SO STUP1D GC: H3S NOT TH3 BOSS OF YOU AC: :33 < i know! AC: :33 < but still im kind of scared of him and i think purrhaps its best to just run it by him first so there isnt a kerfuffle about it or anything

She's also afraid to tell him about her crush on Karkat, since she knows he doesn't like Karkat:

AC: :33 < well AC: :33 < i have never told anybody this not even my moirail AC: :33 < heh, actually hes the LAST guy i might tell, he so wouldnt appurrve X33 AC: :33 < but yes i have liked somebody for quite some time, but alas he doesnt know it

By the time they end their game, she's gotten over this fear, seeing as she spends many hours curled up with Equius in a pile of robotics parts, but it still must be noted that they have some issues in their relationship that were never resolved, primarily on Equius's end. What this means for Nepeta, however, is that in addition to setting her up as the most outright anti-classism troll, the comic sets her up to be socially isolated due to her moirail's paranoia about letting her associate with both lowbloods (seeing them as bad influences) OR other highbloods, seeing them as dangerous.

He's not entirely wrong - his refusal to allow her to participate in FLARP kept her from winding up entangled in the horrible chain of revenge, as Tavros alludes:

AT: iT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST, AT: tHAT YOU LISTEN TO HIM, AC: :33 < i dont know AC: :33 < you think so? AT: wELL, AT: iF YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO HIM BEFORE, AT: yOU MIGHT HAVE PLAYED GAMES WITH US BEFORE, AT: aND SOMETHING BAD MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU, AC: :33 < hmm purrhaps

But he's still wrong. And it's probably an uncontrolled manifestation of his Heir of Void abilities - he's both consciously and unconsciously hiding her from other people.

This isn't to say she doesn't stand up for herself! Many of her discussions with Equius are pseudo-arguments, and she does get her way often enough, managing to get him to roleplay with her, and managing to get him back in the roboti% pile to talk about his feelings about Aradia. She also talks to the humans explicitly against Equius's orders, although she's keeping it a sneakret from him:

NEPETA: :33 < but equius already furbid me from doing that :(( NEPETA: :33 < not that i am listening to him, but shhhhh! :33 KARKAT: WAIT, HE DID? KARKAT: OK, THEN AS YOUR LEADER I ORDER YOU TO RP WITH THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. BE AS OBNOXIOUS ABOUT IT AS YOU CAN. NEPETA: :33 < yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

But the fact that she has to tiptoe around him like this speaks to them having issues in their relationship that go unexamined and unresolved, especially since it's clear that Nepeta really would like to be friends with more people, were Equius not getting in her way. So, even though I do think they are good moirails for each other - they clearly genuinely, deeply care about one another. But they could use some relationship counselling.

In fact, Jasprosesprite^2 outright calls her lonely:

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Or the girl who likes ships! Cause they made her less lonely. ;3

So, she's anti-hemocaste and lonely, two character traits that were set up and never resolved. And beclaws this is Nepeta, in her honor, I'm going to talk about a third:

Her Unrequited Crush On Karcat

She has the BIGGEST flushed crush on Karkat. It's seen on her shipping wall twice, once with the word OTP on it.

And, despite never discussing it with her moirail, Nepeta mentions it once to Jaspersprite, and once to Jasprosesprite^2.

Now, I'm not really here to debate on the validity of KatNep - I think it's fine, even if I don't personally ship it, and don't personally think it would work out (there are lots of indications that they wouldn't work out, including Jasprosesprite^2 outright saying so). However, her crush on Karkat is both complicated and creates some interesting setups for her character. I am going to discuss it fairly critically either way, so KatNep shippers have been warned.

A lot of her feelings about Karkat - and about shipping in general - wind up being heavily interlinked with her status as a Hero of Heart, so I'm going to expand on it more there. But what I will note in this section is the fact that, despite Nepeta insisting twice that she doesn't think Karkat knows about her crush on her:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < it was karkat NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but i never told him and im pretty sure he never found out how i felt!

He tooootally did:

KARKAT: OK, BUT TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S STILL OBSESSED WITH ME. KARKAT: IT'S A VERY UNFORTUNATE, VERY RED AND VERY UNREQUITED SITUATION I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TIPTOE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, OK?

Interpret that how you will for shipping purposes, but I want to propose that this is a reflection of their statuses as Heart and Blood players. Heart, despite its players' obsessions with romance, is not the romance aspect, Blood is. Karkat displays this very same romantic acumen when he tells Dave that he's known Terezi and Gamzee were a thing for a long time, despite everyone else on the meteor trying to keep it a secret from him. Heart is, instead, about identity, feelings, motivations, souls, and self. In other words:

Nepeta Is Kind Of Bad At Shipping

Let's take a look at those shipping walls.

Let's break this down a little. Nepeta's ships are not entirely wrong, but even the successful ones are kind of wrong. Here's what I mean. We've already discussed how Equius and Nepeta's moirallegiance has some... issues in it. If we go down her list of ships that actually do happen, most of them have some issues in them!

Aradia expresses her regret for getting together with Equius in the Ministrife. Kanaya and Rose suffer some major relationship problems when Rose starts drinking, to the point Karkat feels a need to step in as an auspice. Karkat and Gamzee fail, as Karkat is not calmed by Gamzee, and Gamzee stops listening to Karkat. And while Sollux and Feferi seem to be fairly healthy, after they both wind up in the Furthest Ring, he's pretty much always next to Aradia - he and Feferi don't even get to exchange words with each other once they're in the Furthest Ring. Purrsonally, I think he and Feferi are meant to end up as moirails, but shhhh.

So what's happening here? Well, this goes back to her identity as a Heart player. Heart is concerned with feelings and motivations.

They simply want to understand the one thing we all are stuck with for our entire lives, i.e. our own minds. Forging an identity is extremely important to the Heart-bound, and every decision and action goes toward building a coherent narrative of their own story. That isn't to say Heart-bound don't care deeply for their friends and allies; they just have a tendency to assume that everyone is as concerned with identity as they are.

Nepeta's shipping has also been associated with her isolation and loneliness. When you put this together, it implies that Nepeta's shipping is about her desire to understand others, and much of her ships are based on one of the parties having feelings, regardless of compatibility, feasibility, or broader implications. After all, despite the fact that she has pretty terrible romantic acumen, she IS able to instinctively identify that Eridan's advances toward her were insincere:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well ok i guess eridan hit on me a few times NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but his advances always struck me as cr33py and insincere

And that Karkat secretly LOVES and RESPECTS his friends:

JASPROSESPRITE^2: On the contrary Nepeta. You deserve someone who will RESPECT and ADORE you. NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well... yes NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i always hoped to find someone like that some day NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i dunno maybe youre right but in spite of whatever problems he might have i always felt like i saw something in him that made me think he could be that purrson!

Or knowing that Equius loves to play games, and still feels sad about Aradia exploding:

AC: :33 < i s33 right through your stupid act, who are you trying to kid! AC: :33 < look how you go out of your way to use words that have x's in them so that you can use your silly purrcent signs AC: :33 < or use these absurd words that you can shoehorn a '100' into, even if its not strictly replacing 'loo'!!! AC: :33 < you are so transpurrent AC: :33 < i can tell you like to play games, d33p down you are a guy who likes to play games! AC: :33 < i can smell a guy who likes to play games from so fur away with this nose, you have no idea X33

NEPETA: :33 < she was so happy, just like she used to be, and she said she would s33 you soon! EQUIUS: D --> That's a nice thought, and thank you for sharing it EQUIUS: D --> But it was only a dream, and will surely have no consequence in reality NEPETA: :33 < equius? NEPETA: :33 < are those f33lings i an detecting with my wiggly whiskery nose? EQUIUS: D --> Maybe

Because feelings, and not relationships, are her actual domain.

And speaking of Heart powers...

Nepeta and the Ultimate Self

So from this point forward, I'm going to assume you're more or less agreeing with my take that at some point after Game Over, Hussie - for whatever reason - gave up on his original ending, and wound up truncating his ideas so he could finish the comic faster. I go more into detail about that here.

So, in this hypothetical original ending, I firmly believe that the speech about the Ultimate Self would have come from Nepeta. First, let's take a look at what the "Ultimate Self" entails, as it appears within the comic:

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < everything that ever happens to every version of you is an important part of your ultimate self... like a superceding bodyless and timeless persona that crosses the boundaries of paradox space and unlike god tiers or bubble ghosts or whatever, it really IS immortal DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but in your physical form there are all these partitions in your mind that prevent you from remembering any of that which makes your existence f33l totally linear DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < which is probably for the best! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < in a regular body s33ing all that would be too overwhelming ... DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and after it sinks in for a while you start coming to this understanding of a greater self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < maybe i "got it" quicker though because of the two people i was and their aspects DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < understanding heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < nepeta never got to make much headway with her aspect but shes finally gettin the chance DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the time aspect is all about running into different versions of yourself so you kinda get confronted with it in a really literal way that can be disturbing DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < obviously davesprite stuggled with that too, but now its fine DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < hes fr33 from worrying about it all and what it means for his place in reality DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < because he can s33 now all his selves have relevance in painting the full picture of who he truly is DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < im not COMPLETELY sure because im not like some sort of ASPECT MASTER but DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < my avian slash feline intuition tells me that all roads will lead you here eventually DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < gaining the d33pest possible understanding of any aspect will bring you to the same final conclusion about your ultimate self

Now, I believe - and I hope you'll agree - that it's kind of lame, narratively, for Davesprite to have been set up with so much angst about not being the "real Dave," and for Nepeta to have all her issues with loneliness and shyness, and for these two specific iterations of each other to have never interacted, but suddenly getting double-prototyped fixes all of their problems, and they achieve Ultimate Selfhood despite being two total strangers to each other. So let's instead break down the more salient points about what Ultimate Selfhood entails, divorced from the fact that it's Davepetasprite^2 doing the narrating:

Every player in the game possesses an "Ultimate Self," an ultimate culmination of all their experiences and memories, specifically referred to as a "persona"

Normally, people are not aware of this, because it would be too overwhelming to deal with so many memories and iterations of each other.

Everyone will achieve Ultimate Selfhood eventually as the final culmination of their understanding of their aspect.

Heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self.

Let's talk about that last one some more, and by that I mean, let's see what Calliope has to say about it:

TT: I don't know why it had to be this way for me. Juggling these two waking selves at once. TT: I guess I'm used to it, but it still makes for a pretty intense existence. TT: Do you even know what the deal with that is? Like is there any precedent in your readings? UU: i don't know aboUt precedent, bUt it makes plenty of sense to me as the type of path one might expect for a hero of heart. UU: a path rUled by the heart aspect can be a joUrney of splintered self. UU: that is, the player's being may exhibit the same kind of fragmentation which certain classes coUld caUse in others. UU: i think this is what has triggered yoUr dUal-awareness between waking and dream selves, thoUgh it woUld not sUrprise me if the symptoms manifested in even more ways than this.

Now, Dirk has a clawmplicated relationship with his alternate selves, given that he's a Prince, but Nepeta wouldn't have the same struggles, or at least, not to the same degree. The problem is, hampered by Equius and her own shyness about discussing her thoughts and feelings with others:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i get so shy and worried what people might think of me if i say how i f33l NEPETASPRITE: :33 < im always so scared that they wont f33l the same way or just think im stupid or pathetic or something

She never actually gets to explore this part of herself.

But What If... She Did?

The way I imagine the original ending going is that each troll that gets saved by John's interference in the timeline then asks John to help them fix their own mistakes, thereby saving somebody else. Each successive trip through the meteor brings new character development, and also riddles the comic with progressively more password pages, which I think would be really funny. And throughout all this the Game Over team is searching for Vriska, Meenah, and the treasure, and resolving their arcs that way, so it's not like they would be replaced - they're the ones who get to kill LE. The process, in my mind, goes like this:

Terezi asks John to save Vriska, and prevent her from getting too spades with Gamzee, as these are her two greatest regrets.

Vriska obviously had great regrets about killing Tavros, both pre- and post-retcon, so she asks for his death to be prevented.

Tavros staying alive means that he and Gamzee wind up hashing out some stuff - Gamzee mentions that he feels "So aT ChIlL WiTh yOu" while talking to Tavros, and Tavros reciprocates the friendship and also - interestingly - acknowledges Gamzee's religion, calling it beautiful even if he doesn't necessarily believe in it. This is interesting because Karkat's inability to do so is explicitly one of the reasons their moirallegiance broke down. So having Tavros back, alive, means that he and Gamzee would likely end up in some sort of relationship, probably pale despite flushed leanings, and would bring Gamzee back into the fold.

Gamzee would then be like, yeah, wow, that time I killed Nepeta and Equius was pretty bad, huh? Especially since his decision to hang onto his friends' bodies and prototype them is often interpreted as him genuinely feeling bad about his dead friends (he tells Kurloz to shut up when Kurloz mentions all the dead friends, and his religion seems to be about a paradise he wants to share with his friends anyway). So he'd ask John to prevent him from killing them, resulting in the two of them getting to live.

Things get much more hypothetical from here, since so much of the character dynamics would have changed, but I think by this point, Equius might command ask John to let him say goodbye to Aradiabot before she explodes, which he expresses feeling very sad about. However, in doing so, John and Aradiabot end up in the same room, and when she realizes that he has the ability to change the timeline without repercussions, she'd seize him by the arm and demand that he take her back in time, to before she died. After all, she expresses regrets about her reckless actions, and how she always felt like it was all one big setup.

She would take Aradia's place in the Vriska revenge chain, being once more freed of her robot chassis, and from there, would trick Doc Scratch and the Handmaiden into thinking everything was still going according to their designs. Meanwhile, Alive!Aradia would be hanging out at Equius's place, borrowing his void powers to avoid notice, coordinating a new timeline that keeps the beats of the original (too much deviation causes unpredictability, and an paradox'd timeline offshoot without John's direct interference would still become doomed), but allows them greater freedom and the ability to overcome the machinations of Doc Scratch and associates.

This would also prevent Sollux from becoming so self-loathing, since it's no longer "his fault" that Aradia dies, although he winds up in that hole again after Feferi gets killed. Now that his Aradia is alive, he wouldn't feel like he might as well stay in the bubbles because his closest companions are there, so he'd make it to the end, and would ask John to prevent Feferi's death.

Eridan still dies; he's so disconnected and isolated from all his friends that his course of actions is largely unaffected even by everybody else's timeline tweaks. But before Feferi can suggest bringing him back, Karkat would butt in.

The Friendship Troll should be the one to demand that ALL of their friends be revived, especially if they had everyone except only one guy, and Karkat and Eridan are heavily implied to be moirails anyway. The course of Karkat's fixes are so comprehensive, and primarily romance-based, that the end result of this final loop is everybody not only being alive, but god-tiered, with appropriate character development.

Now, where Nepeta's Heart powers would play into all of this is that she would start to notice something going on. After all, Heart players are sensitive to their splintered selves, and (Nepeta) is probably much closer to Nepeta than regular doomed timeline offshoots. As the loops continue, and Nepeta has more and more time to talk to people, and meets her dead alternate selves, and even meets (Nepeta), she starts to awaken to her Ultimate Self - to come into possession of alternate memories.

And if the Ultimate Self is a very soul-y kind of concept, such that Heart players have a natural advantage in coming to understand it, then isn't it a natural fit that a Rogue of Heart - one who steals from Heart or steals Heart for others - would be naturally inclined to share the wisdom of her alternate selves, and even the very concept of the Ultimate Self, with her friends?

Because the Ultimate Self is actually, in my opinion, a pretty good narrative device. It turns the sadness of the dead and doomed timelines into something littersweet instead, and makes it so any weirdness regarding time travel and not really knowing your friends anymore will eventually be resolved, even if off-screen.

It's not really narratively satisfying when Davepetasprite^2 suddenly comes into being and reaches enlightenment, but imagine if instead it's a post-character development Nepeta comforting Davesprite on his relevance, or Jade on her loneliness, or John on not really knowing these new post-retcon versions of his friends? It would feel a lot better, since in this hypothetical, she would have reached that point after on-screen character development. Being able to share her true self with her friends on the meteor - by necessity, since what else are they going to be doing for three years - leads to her finally being able to fulfill her role as a Rogue of Heart.

Also, at some point during these repeated meteor trips, she dates Karkat (whether that's successful or not, I'll leave to reader interpretation - you already know where I stand), fulfilling Jaspersprite's musing that she might only be able to date Karkat after she dies.

So that's two out of thr33 of her outstanding plot hooks resolved... okay. So, I try not to make these essays into ship propaganda, but hear me out:

Hate Is Stored In The FefNep

Okay, so, remember that thing about how Feferi is actually a huge casteist hypocrite? Well, let's also note that the comic, post-Murderstuck, seems to put Nepeta and Feferi together a lot - they're a Commodore and Rear Admiral in the ghost pirate army, respectively, and they also wind up as Fefetasprite. So I think it's not entirely out of left field to say that these two were implied to have SOMETHING going on.

And that something... is a difference in political views.

I mean, let's be real, there's a reason Fefetasprite is the most explode-prone after Tavrisprite. Miss "The Hemocaste is Stupid and Shouldn't Matter" vs. Miss "I Love Being A Princess And Call Jade Hornless and Finless (Derogatory)"? Come on, tell me you don't see it.

Without getting too much into Feferi, this hypocrisy, and unwillingness to check her privilege (so glad I found an excuse to use that term unironically), are probably her greatest character flaws - ie, the things you would expect the story to address about her. Meanwhile, one of Nepeta's flaws, which she laments to Jasproseprite^2, is that she feels too shy to talk about her feelings to other people, leading to her having never expressed her views on the hemocaste to anyone but Equius.

I think that they initially think they'd be friends. Each one of them would go "oh man, this other girl is soooo cute, I wish I could talk to her more often!"

And then, once they do, they realize they fucking hate each other. Nepeta would go "X00 < you are such a hypocrite who f33ls like youre better than all of us!!!" and Feferi would go "You're suc)( an uneducated glubbing P-EASANT! 3X0" and then they'd claw each others' eyes out. It would be so funny, and if a homestuck ship isn't extremely fucking funny, then why are we even here.

But more importantly, this would further them along into resolving each others' arcs - Feferi would be forced to grapple with the greater implications of classism, and Nepeta - who is shown having a spine the most in defiance of somebody else - would grow more aggressive about being open about her feelings in defiance of Feferi. Even Equius would get roped into it in a positive way - you can just imagine him going "D --> Can I really believe my auricular sponge clots D --> Nepeta, you are finally taking interest in politi%" and be 100% on board with teaching her so Feferi won't be able to call her uneducated.

And then for flushed, I dunno! Karkat's an option, and Jade and Jake also both love the fuck out of furries, and Tavros seems nice. But yeah I'll die on the fefnep hate ship. Guys it would be so funny.

Thank you as always for reading! Let me know if there's a troll you want to hear me ramble about next.

[chair002]

old clip but i remembered about it today and ughhhh just. everything about it.

BACON: Alright Mape, are we a team? Just like Season 5?

im pretty sure theyre talking about this specific duel theyre about to have and not chingpire as a whole but it applies still. the fact that early chungpire happens after Mapicc tries so hard to get Bacon to join Mawn and this is him finally getting what he's been wanting & pining for for sooo long. but also unlike all those times Mapicc tried to convince Bacon to join Mawn and Bacon gave him the cold shoulder, it's Bacon who's the first to start reminiscing how theyre a team again 'just like season 5'. And damn it sounds like he's missed this as much as Mapicc did.

MAPICC: Just like the old days, buddy!

and mapicc picks up like yeah!!! it is just like season 5!!! even though its nothing like it really, but Bacon just existing by his side makes it 'just like season 5'. It's not been a long time since S5 but this 'old days' makes it sound very nostalgic and like something worth missing.

BACON: Dude, we could do all of our old pvp tactics.

Minecraft PVP equivalent of going around a park with your ex and pointing out all the spots you've once had dates at and going do you remember when we did this and that? Remember our shared history and do you think we could do it again? Havent you missed ittt havent you missed me? Surely Mapicc still remembers it all too, he still knows what to do and how they work together and how he can reproduce those old habits.

MAPICC: You run and I carry?

Now for this you need to know that in S6 Mapicc brings up multiple times how dissatisfied he was with Bacon as a teammate. Not directly but he'll say stuff like 'Flame is a teammate I don't have to carry' and then when Bacon doesn't respond in any meaningful way he will add 'Very tired of carrying teammates' just to you know. Reiterate that idea. (clip) There are other instances of him doing this but HERE he is not being malicious. Here it's just teasing. It's obvious he wants to fight together with Bacon, why would he complain about having to do it after he actively sought it out? He's not mad. And usually Bacon doesn't respond well to comments about his skill level because. You know. That's like the one thing he is insecure about in himself. But he just laughs! He giggles at Mapicc's playfully mean comment and it's not hurting him. Yeah, the implication is that Mapicc had to carry Bacon around like dead weight the entire Season 5 and thats pretty hurtful but it doesnt even matter anymore because theyre back together and the atmosphere between them is so friendly and in a weird way mawkishly nostalgic (which does NOT happen with losers often they are never sentimental about each other) that Mapicc's comment just cannot be taken in any negative light. They're gonna have fun together and they know it. And its just. aghhhhh. 13 second clip but so much can be said about their dynamic at that point in time i love it!!!

[7arami]

Late Revival

i dunno if this already exists, it probably does, but i want a jason that is revived wayyyyyy later. like the rest of the batfam are adults with a freshly revived and traumatized to hell and back (teehee) jaybin. prepare for me to use a lot of parentheses (with guest appearences of parentheses' cousins: brackets and braces)

specifically im thinking of that one timeline final crisis: battle of the cowl (i think thats the one). where batman is dead, i cant remember who, if any, didnt believe he was actually dead (like im pretty sure at the beginning tim thought he was dead but then later believed/realized/discovered he wasnt) (oh also spoiler alert for those who havent read it: he isnt dead [i kno very shocking, "7arami, your telling me batman 'died' in a timeline but didnt actually die!", yes i am, sorry to have to be the one to break it to u]) now im gonna change his revival a bit jus bcs while i do love a league! jason, i feel this is better suited if jason doesnt have that kind of influence/manipulation for this version and for the vibe im going for. basically superboy prime still has his hissy fit and still punches thru reality which triggers jason's revival and leads him to breaking and crawling out of his own grave (i think the 'punching thru reality and causing ripples' is a dumb as fuck way to revive someone, but i still do really like the concept of jason clawing his way out of his coffin). BUT this time he is buried in like the private grave on wayne manor by like bruces parents, maybe even bruces own grave teehee, (cuz im pretty sure he was buried in a public cementary originally cuz like he was hit by a random couples car, actually im not explaining this cuz as i started to write this out it jus felt more obvious that he wasnt buried on wayne manor [which like also kinda feels fucked, like i dunno if im missing somethin like maybe he was buried there to be next to catherine or somethin, but like damn that is ur son ykno {also find it funny how on dc database fandom, catherine's 'other characteristics' is literally jus: "drug addiction", anyways im done with this tangent now sorry}]) i cant tell whether it would be best for him to still be in that like vegetable state, like hed be kinda losing a part of his .*･｡ﾟsparkle .*･｡ﾟ if he lost that part of his revival, but i also feel like it would better progress the story if there wasnt that conflict along with everything else, but, again, at the same time when has a lil extra conflict really hurt anyone (•‿•). but anyways for now im gonna say hes not in his vegetative state and is barely able to make it to some entrance, front, back, side, top, bottom, whatever doesn't matter. main point is bcs he was already on the grounds of the manor, he doesnt trip the security or something (maybe jus like while hes in his coffin, his robin instincts kick in and hes able to traverse without tripping anything [but thats like unrealistic in a way where u jus wanna make ur fave character op {which i mean i kinda do ʅ(°‿°)ʃ sorry}]). this make the rest of the bats, already in this state of crisis where bruce is "dead", even more cautious bcs what do u mean someones at the front/back door and we didnt get a security alert? then when they do finally check the door they see a young baby (not an actual baby jus exaggerating, hes like 13 or 14) jason todd on the brink of death. now heres where i fuck with the timeline a lot more. i want the whole batfam and i want them to all be an army of protective yet struggling older siblings. like im thinking damian as the youngest would be like 17, everyone else would be older (im not gonna label all their ages but i think yall get the idea)

i want dick to be absolutely broken over getting his little wing back while also grieving bruce and having that internal struggle of dawning the cowl. i want that conflict of tim facing his robin who is now much younger than him and in a vulnerable state he has never witnessed before, when he was younger jason had seemed so much bigger, he was loud, confident, brave, now...... I want to see how damian would fare as an older brother, if hed be a bit insecure seeing how easily the others accepted jason, if hed fear he was being replaced, fear hed have to give robin away/back. i want jason to have that connection/understanding with duke and steph who were raised in the same harsh slums of gotham. i also have this idea of jason becoming much more quiet, a bit non-verbal, whether it be bcs of injury or trauma or both, maybe he and cass create their own sign language jus for the two of them. i want alfred to find any and all excuses to get jason back into the kitchen and help him cook/bake, i want alfred to make it his personal mission to get more meat on jasons bones, bringing back jasons original diet plan cuz god knos being tortured then dying did not help with this kids already existing malnourishment and stunted growth. i like the idea of barbara volunteering at a library, i want her to show it off to jason and gleam with pride as jason stares at her with literal stars in his eyes, maybe even giving a smug look to any bat who may be around for the moment.

but most importantly i want jason to wake up in a sterile medbay, and when the bats finally explain all the time mumbo jumbo and how they dont actually kno how he came back to life, when jason has finally let the info settled and accepted his new reality. i want him to ask with all the joy in the world, with this need to finally see his dad again, "where is bruce?" i want him to look around the silent white room, at each one of his siblings ("wow i have such a big family now! (◕‿◕)") with that giant blinding signature grin of his only for it to slowly start to drop as he watches each and everyone of them look down guiltily. i want jason to get that feeling that he knos what this kind of reaction entails but not want to believe it. i want him to beg dick to answer to him and i want damian to be the one to step, to break the news jason didnt actually want to hear. cuz we all need to remember this is the boy who wanted to kill the joker not for killing him, but for taking him away from his dad (bro that scene still breaks me to this day, lordy lord im about to cry). i want a partially suicidal jason, one that cant help but wish he was still dead jus so he can see his dad again.

i want jasons refusal to accept that bruce is dead to be what triggers tim into looking more deeply into bruces death. like i lowkey want it to be a screaming match, where jason is finally walking around (dont kno what level of recovery he is at, jus that he is not stuck in bedrest), it jus starts out with jason entering the cave and asking what they were gonna do about bruce. everyone is slow to respond, but tim finally says one of them (tims vote is still for dick) is gonna have to take on the cowl bcs batmans a symbol. jason is absolutely disgusted by the idea. starts yelling about how they need to be out there looking for bruce not replacing him (man im not even like a big fan of bruce lol, howd i get to this, like i feel jason has every right to be mad at him in the comics and stuff). damian might be the one to fight back on him about how bruce is dead, jasons asks about the body, damian gets more heated saying he was vaporized nothing of him was left, jasons like "not even ash", and while damian jus gets more defensive and graphic about bruces death, tim takes that note to heart, how there really was no trace even tho bruces cowl was left relatively unscathed (i think, sorry guys, read parts of final crisis and wasnt even paying too close attention cuz the whole time i was pretty pissed about how they totally fucked up jasons character [i mean like seriously, the writers jus went: "oh heres a perfectly good character with lots of complexity and potential....... lets disregard all of that and jus make him this rampant psychopath that only feels one emotionヾ(●ﾟvﾟ)人(ﾟvﾟ○)ﾉ", me and every other jason 'wasted potential' todd fan: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻]) later he'll tell jason how he began to look into it more and before he can even get into his findings jasons already hugging him, thanking tim for listening, for humoring him. and tim takes a second but finally he reciprocates the hug, holding a teary eyed jason.

anyways im gonna stop for now i still have more ideas but im gonna take a lil break for now, kind of been ignoring my school work to type this out lol

[sunlitlemonade]

YOU WATCH F1 TOO?!?!?!?!???????!?? RAHHHHHHHHH🏎🏎🏎🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 can we plz get thoughts on drivers 👀🥺🙏🫣🫣🫣🫦

anon i know you sent this sometime around suzuka but that last emoji made me laugh every time i tried answering this. as for the drivers......... sigh. I'm swinging a very bedazzled bat at a swarming hornets' nest. pray for me.

under the cut because i yapped a LOT. also. uh. possible slander. so like.

Red Bull Racing

Max Verstappen: starting off strong here with my favourite guy of all time. He's Inevitable™. He's fast. He's amazing. He's sweet and blunt and gorgeous and I want everything good for him. He's phenomenal, he moves me, he makes it's so easy to root for him and yet, it's incredibly taxing to be a fan given the British bias in F1 journalism and the fandom, not to mention FIA occasionally losing it's goddamn mind.

Sergio 'Checo' Perez: I'm actually so fond of him. His recent performances leave more to desired, I know, but fuck if he isn't the funniest mf around. Also it's simply a matter of time when he gets back in form [the bias is STRONG here I'm aware]. Also he's an extremely good second driver because I for one think he knows how to handle a team built around his teammate. I don't think any other driver on the current grid would have gelled with Max and Red Bull's structure [and strategy to win] the way Checo has.

Ferrari

Charles Leclerc: Il Predestinato. Saint Leclerc. Curse bearer and curse breaker. He's made to be a dream. He can make the hopeless hope. I know I said Max is generational talent but we're quite lucky to be in this era where we have not one, but TWO generational talents because Charles..... this guy..... you have to be blind to not see the sheer talent and insanity this man holds. Ferrari get your shit together istg. I need a Verstappen - Leclerc WDC fight. IT WILL BE GLORIOUS.

Carlos Sainz: *cough* ok, so, I wanna start off by saying I do think he's a chill guy off-track, ok? I really do think that. He's funny, quick, hot [ofc]. As a driver though. I just. He's good --not as good as F1 media wanted you to believe after his win in Australia and the circumstances surrounding it [WDC material??? Any GP winner now is considered WDC material??? ok]-- but he whines A LOT and I would actually prefer if his aggressiveness on track is directed less at his own teammate and more on their opposition? That would be cool. Plus sometimes he forgets it's not 'yippee we are all friends haha' all the time and inevitably fires up when someone serves cunt on track and he's bearing the brunt of it. I call it the Mclaren syndrome if anyone is interested.

Mclaren

enough said [ignore the shit quality i grabbed the first template i could find sjskdjfke]

Mercedes

George Russell: HES SUCH A HILARIOUS DIVA!!!! WHO DOESNT LOVE THIS GUY?? He's so entertaining and fun and he is a very good driver! I feel like we still have yet to see all he can achieve and I am very excited to see what happens next.

Lewis Hamilton: Legend. I truly have nothing else to add. Forget his fanbase, forget his tunnel vision when it comes to winning [and this applies to almost every driver, most of all my favourite ones lol], he's seven time world champion for a reason. Since we're asking for my opinions here though, I'll tell you this: anytime he wins I'm happy enough to see it [though I will forever want to see my favs on P1], any time he doesn't I don't care much, if he has a bad race I will give it less notice- basically, he exists in the periphery of my vision. I have been in awe of him for years and admire him but I cannot call myself a fan. One thing I can't help but obsess over is how cunty and unapologetic he is [which is also something that I love about Max].

Alpine

Esteban Ocon: He's a good driver, he's grinded hard to be here in F1 and I love to see it. Also, he's geek! In my books, that's always a plus.

Pierre Gasly: He's actually one of the most unremarkable drivers on the grid currently. Like there's nothing wrong with him and every time he pops up in interviews or whatever he's fun to see but that's about it? Honestly he seems like a cool guy, a driver okay enough but doesn't stand out much to me in anyway skdjhsjd

Sauber

Valtteri Bottas: THE MOST UNDERRATED DRIVER EVER MAYBE????? I love this dude and I'm hoping he can get something better than the tractor he has this season, as unlikely as it is.

Zhou Guanyu: Again, he's a nice enough driver and I really enjoy his vibe but he's crawling on the track in the tractor Sauber cooked up and I don't really know what to think of him beyond what I have stated.

Aston Martin

Fernando Alonso: Anyone who has a problem with Mr. Alonso has a problem with me. This is a strict Alonso Stan account, I do not take criticism and idc what anyone else has to say about him. He's a legend, he's an icon, he's the spirit of F1. I'm quite literally obsessed with him. You know what. Max is the Only One for me BUT if Fernando happened to win a 3rd title........... Did you know that Adrian Newey was recently acquired by Aston Martin [MAKE IT HAPPEN NEWEY].

Lance Stroll: idc. truly idc. some hate this guy, some love him. im at the camp of idgaf. just complete indifference.

Haas

Kevin Magnussen: If you've noticed anything by now, it's that I love love love track terrors. Not the stupid bitches who divebomb everyone all the time and start barking when it happens to them. Nah, the ones who race. I fucking love them. I love Kevin. Hoping against hope that he gets a seat somewhere next year, I will miss him so much. He's incredible to watch. God. I will actually miss him so much. Fuck.

Nico Hulkenberg: Another underrated driver, he's actually quite skillful and entertaining to watch. I just wish he had better luck like 😭

VCARB

Daniel Ricciardo: I miss him. His performances had waned and yeah, it had been time for him to go but I will still miss him and idk man I will admit I wasn't his biggest fan a while back, which had hurt because at some point, years back, he was the main reason why I watched the sport at all. But he had slowly wormed himself back in my heart and fuck. His last race actually made my chest clench ngl. He was absolutely amazing.

Liam Lawson: Consider me sat. I'm SO curious to see how he performs. We know he's got potential but just how far can he stretch?

Yuki Tsunoda: How many times have I used the word 'love' already? I'm sorry but what else can I say? I genuinely love this fella. He's so good and exciting to watch on track and also, plain funny. I wish for everything good to happen to him.

Williams

Alex Albon: infatuated with his billion dollar smile. Now that that's out of the way let me also just say HES SUNLIGHT INCARNATE, also I COULD LISTEN TO HIM YAP FOREVER. Idk I'm actually really happy for him because he seems to be flourishing at Williams and I mean this in the best way possible: he shines at a midfield team. [Also, note me saying he's sunshine doesn't negate just how fucking sly & sassy he can be. I adore that about him.]

Franco Colapinto: MY BELOVED. I perk up like a sunflower under the sun when I see him. He's such an intriguing driver. I detect hints of track terrorism abilities brewing here and cannot wait to see more of it. Also! He's so refreshing to listen to. I know like 80 percent of the grid is no-nonsense and transparent but man idk how to say this. He's a fucking comedian. Not a thought that has any sort of filter at all in that pretty little head of his. Just. No PR training at all here.

Logan Sargent: This boy. He did not deserve even a smidgen of what he had to tolerate. I actually detest the collective treatment from the fandom and his own fucking team that he had to constantly weather. I hope whatever racing division he advances to, he fucking demolishes. I hope he has so much fun winning. I miss him and his reserved smiles.

Special mention:

Oliver Bearman: I mean he raced twice this season, I can't skip over him just like that. Anyways, he's a BABY [< girl who's half a year older than him sjedhbwje] and I WANT HIM TO DO GOOD. He's done relatively well till now in the limited time on track [in F1] we've seen him, we'll have to wait and watch how he does next year. This F2 season for him has been... eh but like I get why.

[whoreiorcats]

PLEASE self-indulgently talk about the masc/fem thing between Helena and Gemma!!! You’ll be indulging me as well

Ok I'm gonna break this into canon stuff and then stone stuff after for those interested, but it all flows.

so I've seen this really interesting attitude floating around that Gemma is a more feminine character and Helly/Helena is more masculine (and perhaps that being why some people favor Gemma? idk) when really their depictions are not so cut and dry.

Gemma has some more traditionally feminine hobbies (gardening, crafts, etc) but also Gemma just has hobbies, Helena doesn't have such a luxury, unless you count swimming as hobby (but Helly does do still life drawing in her spare time! Hm!)

I think its a little weird to try to figure out between Helly/Helena and Gemma which has a more "feminine" personality because wtf even is that? They are both boiling over with rebellion, love, violence, anger, hope, sorrow, etc. Helly and Gemma share a deep care for their loved ones (not counting Helena simply because we do not get to see her interact with her loved ones in the same way, such as Drummond, how will she mourn him?)

Especially if we look at their styling, I'd argue its all kind of reversed. Gemma dresses way more masculinely than Helly or Helena, really.

Helena's styling has been analyzed elsewhere and I don't really wanna retread all that, we also have this new interview that basically characterizes Helena's style (outside of when she is dressing Helly or appearing for the Gala) as more androgynous and even masculine. Ok ok! Very interesting, now we can look at Gemma's costumes in the show:

She generally wears button up tops, every so slightly loose fitting on her, and her jacket here is very big on her, without being "oversized". If we're comparing her to Helly, she is downright masculinity dressed, just in that she is wearing pants and true collared shirts.

We only see Gemma in a dress of her own choosing TWICE! WHEN?

Well! We have her in a white, western wedding dress and a what looks like a nightgown when she has her first miscarriage. Gagne and Lachman both described this episode as dealing with “feminine issues”—which, sure—and so the use of really feminine attire being constrained in the outie world is interesting. (EDIT: I MISSED A DRESS! It's in the montage of MarkGemma happy times and it is RED! Score for Asians imo)

When Gemma is imprisoned down on the testing floor, she is dressed in an extremely androgynous get up, all the way to her hair basically always being up in a very restricted updo.

The only time Gemma is "allowed" femininity is when she goes into one of the rooms, but it is a very very specific kind of femininity.

We wanna talk about Helly living her entire life in heels? How about your whole life knelt on the floor while your "husband" sits in his lazyboy and tells you what to do and demands affection from you? I dont mean this to be competitive in any way, it's just a very clear step towards the extreme for Gemma compared to the other female innies.

That and the racial politics of it all are also very interesting. Again, Helly, for example, is being made to answer to a variety of authority figures (Milchick, Cobel, Mark) and is basically an equal with her male coworkers Irving and Dylan. This interaction is also framed as professional, though there is the typical corporate hokey "we're like a family" stuff thrown in there.

Gemma's testing floor innies are completely isolated, they answer to one man and that man pretends to be their husband, their personal trainer, their flight attendant, their dentist. These relationships are not cut and dry, they are not employer/employee, they are theoretically equal--Gemma is even the client in some of these examples, which could throw the balance towards her usually, but it doesnt. No matter what she is the total subordinate, she has to do what is told of her and there are no breaks, no walks to the perpetuity wing to give context to her existence, no wellness sessions to ease her mental anguish (no she ADMINISTERS them, in one life!), it's just labor (framed as anything other than labor) for her whole life.

Her clothes reflect a vintage, mid century type of femininity because that is what she is being expected to perform, and it is notable how an Asian woman fits into that mold.

In a similar way that Milchick's story has been fleshed out (Tillman's question: Does he know he's Black?) so has Gemma's, only a lot less overtly. We get the Chomolungma/Everest moment, her immediately connecting the pictogram thing to Tibetan Buddhism, and I also noticed that Gemma seems to be wearing a hair stick at the fertility clinic

That's just a fun detail that vaguely points towards her heritage, and it truly is a vague point, not really anything that explicit.

I may be rambling at this point, but Gemma as an Asian woman seemingly not living near her parents with her white husband and white in laws is already experiencing some disconnect from her own culture that she attempts to hang on to.

This adds a whole extra layer of violence to her severance, which she did not consent to have (yeah I'm sticking by that, do not come in here with she chose to imprison herself, it goes against the two solid character traits we have from her: that she cares about Mark and is smart/pragmatic. if she signed her life away to Lumon for a baby, she would be acting against her established, core traits, so don't even start). Gemma, who deeply values her heritage, is forced to forget that heritage every day and submit to a white man.

This white man who says she is "easy to like" but is actively working to strip her of everything that defines her--her memories, her desires, her culture, her passions, her personality, everything.

Gemma's most defiant innie is her oldest one, Allentown, who is in the most wrong role--that being a submissive wife to a guy who isn't Mark, who Gemma thinks of every day and misses. Allentown Gemma knows that this situation is fucked and she can't help but let a bit of her annoyance and rage slip through. She is wearing this bright red silky looking robe. Idk, it speaks to me. Maybe she feels some level of cultural connection that emboldens her. Traditional Nepali wedding garb is very red, there is red featured in Tibetan wedding attire, and red is generally a color representing positive things in many Asian cultures. This is thin on the ground, but its something I noticed.

To sum this section up, Gemma's gender presentation is inextricably connected to her Asianness. Her severance and imprisonment is inextricably linked to her Asianness. What is expected of her innies is inextricably linked to her Asianness. I don't care if Gemma was originally conceived of as Asian from the get go, or if it is just that Lachman was selected and thus she became Asian (in the same way Milchick became racialized). The show is clearly interested in touching on the subject of race and if they are I'm going to look at it from the angle of an Asian woman.

Helena/Helly's femininity will similarly always be informed by her whiteness. Helena is a rich heiress, Helly is her without that context but still with the same personality just unrepressed. Saying this is not a criticism of her character, it just is what it is. It is not a bad thing that Helly wakes up and is extremely resistant to being subordinated. It is just interesting that--as far as we can tell--Gemma's innies do not act that way.

It is almost as if they know, in the back, lizard part of their brain, that they are risking violent retaliation if they resist. That the risk of being loud and resistant is not worth it. They don't know why, they don't know if that is how everyone else feels, they don't know how to unlearn that or if they should.

OKAYYYY SO LETS TALK STONE

In I Was Just Wondering Gemma is totally contrasted with how we've seen her before. She hasn't lost her core traits (caring about her loved ones/Mark and pragmatism) but her return to the surface being as traumatic as it was paired with being separated from Mark, the person she was using as a beacon of hope, as a proxy for freedom, extremely disregulates her.

She is engaging in risky behavior which is inconsiderate to her family and obviously not safe nor smart, but the past two years of subordination with extremely select applications of outright rebellion (tried to break Mauer's fingers and chair attack) with nothing to show for it causes her to act out.

Gemma is accordingly dressed completely outside of the established looks we've seen she prefers--ratty borrowed house clothes that inadequately protect her from the elements.

She still isn't able to maintain anger with Helly or Mark S because she's able to recognize the similarity in their experiences, but she finds Helena to be an acceptable target. All she knows about Helena, really, is that she's rich and is high up in the company that kidnapped her.

Helena is in her usual Helly attire, which she continues to wear to "work" to keep up appearances--which is to say very feminine business formal, with even more formal outerwear for when she leaves.

This puts these characters at a strong contrast. Gemma also is driving around, menacing Helena with her car, and generally being aggressive, rude, pushy, etc. These are all things that women of color are generally not permitted to be, certainly this is not what she was allowed to be on the testing floor as herself or as her innies.

OK Im gonna start talking about sex now you can leave if you dont wanna read that, but im not gonna get crazy descriptive.

The position they have sex in at the end is also very clearly delineated between masc/fem and dom/sub, that being doggy style. Gemma even borderline-violently maneuvers Helena into that position. Gemma is working out a lot of trauma around feeling controlled and helpless by exerting control and isolation onto someone else. She doesn't really cross any lines in a major way, but this is extremely intense for both of them.

Lines like "I bought you dinner first, didn't I?" also show she is self characterizing as a pushy, douchy dude-type. It's kind of a joke it's kind of not. Helena is, interestingly, extremely receptive of this treatment! Interesting! (the kiss on the cheek at the end is the first romantic gesture that is not underscored with an implicit threat and Helena is the one who keeps that going, by the end of the next part Gemma is able to do the same for Helena with the same gesture).

The next time they see each other, Helena is becoming the pushy one. She is stalking Gemma as Gemma stalked her, she is intruding into her life and inviting her out and insisting that she drives. "I thought girls liked guys with nice cars."

All the while, Helena is still dressed like Helly (because she is coming directly from work w/o changing) and Gemma is costumed even more masulinely (wearing Mark's clothing, which is both sort of a masc move and also fem as Devon points out, like a high schooler wearing her boyfriend's oversized clothes, its almost like this binary is nearly impossible to escape).

There is still a visual contrast between them while their gendered roles have changed. This change happens because of what Gemma needs from Helena. While she was gleefully taking what she wanted last time, in Tell Me You Will she is incredibly ashamed of her actions and unwilling to let herself have the intimacy she desires from Helena without a lot of pushing from Helena's angle.

Gemma accepts pampering and control from Helena as the only way she can release herself from the stress/self-hatred she's currently under. She accepts this probably in part because she has dominated Helena before and is not really that threatened by her strong come on, just released from the pressure of making her own decisions by it.

Again, we're not really crossing any lines, but it's a lot of assumptions on Helena's part--these assumptions pay off because, despite Gemma's initial assessment that Helena was not innocent like herself, Mark S, or Helly, they do understand each other. Gemma is able to pick up on Helena's damage, though she doesn't really care about it at first, and Helena is very much able to pick up on Gemma's.

To speak on the sexual aspect of this too, Helena is on top this time and when Gemma is the giver she does so on her knees, which has a bunch of strong connotations.

Gemma's latent Buddhism really brings to mind the yin yang for me. It is a symbol that represents how contrasting forces (darkness, femininity vs light, masculinity) exist together, each with a hint of the other within.

This is very much the way that I see GemmaCasey and Hellyna, as being opposites yet the same. That might have to be a completely different post lest this gets even more derailed and longer.

Anyway, in I'll Do the Same Helena finally wears pants while Gemma wears skirts and dresses, but this does not in any way reinforce the gender roles they found themselves in in Tell Me You Will. They are just taking on clothing that they have previously been pushed/pressured into (internally or externally) and wearing it for themselves, for their own ends, be it comfort or style.

Their interactions are now also more egalitarian, neither is really pressing the other to do anything. They are silently communicating with each other and being forced to repress their desire in the company of others.

When they do come together, it is also very different from either of their previous encounters. Though Gemma "starts it", Helena picks up on what she is doing before she's even entered the house and control is fluidly traded between them. They are just very in tune with each other and have lost any desire to control or dominate, really, they just are both invested in pleasing the other (Helena was always just in it to please Gemma lowk but whatever).

This is a kind of relationship both of them have been denied. Helena gets a taste of it from Mark but that was always going to be tainted by the truth of her status. Gemma goes into their "relationship" knowing who Helena is and having her as she is, eventually accepting her for who she is, baggage and all.

God this feels really really rambly now but whatever. Yeah, basically they're the only two people in the world who could possibly understand each other and they are the only two people able to release the other from the binds they have been put in by Lumon.

If it wasn't already clear, I am unironically completely invested in this pairing and i really really hope some kind of dynamic between these two characters is explored next season.

[zedleaked]

[APPARENTLY PEOPLE HERE WANTED TO KNOW THE HUMAN AXIS LORE SO IM JUST GOING TO COPY MY TWITTER POST HERE…] BASIC GIST IS THAT THIS IS JUST A GENERAL HUMAN AU. MONSTERS AND HUMANS SWAPPED. WOWIE!

ANYWAYS READ MORE FOR AXIS

AXIS ORIGIN IS STILL A BIT FUZZY. HERE HE'S LIKE CHUJIN'S ADOPTED SON [GENDER NEUTRAL],, CATGIRLTRICKSTER ON TWITTER SUGGESTED CHUJIN JUST FINDING YOUNG AXIS IN A PIPE OR SOMETHING AND I THINK THATS REALLY FUNNY... THOUGH HIS ORIGINS WOULD BE VAGUE. IF ASKED HE'D SAY HE DOESN'T REMEMBER.

ALSO NOTE BEFORE I FORGET. AXIS WAS JUST BORN WITH ONE LEG. THERE IS NO LORE REASON TO WHY ITS MISSING, IT IS JUST THE WAY HE IS. CHUJIN MAKES HIM A ROBOTIC LEG SO HE CAN HAVE AN EASIER TIME.

SURE I COULD GIVE A FUCKED REASON AS TO WHY HE DOESNT HAVE IT BUT I DONT FEEL LIKE IT.

AXIS WOULD BE AN APPRENTICE UNDER CHUJIN SIMILAR TO MARTLET [I NEEDA DRAW MARTLET EVENTUALLY] PLUS IN GAME THERE'S FLAVOR TEXT ABOUT HIM FLIPPING THROUGH THE ROYAL GUARD HANDBOOK IN HIS MIND. HONESTLY. MARTLET AND AXIS BEING FRIENDS THROUGH SHARING THE SAME INTEREST IS SILLY...

HE'D WANT TO TRAIN HIMSELF TO BECOME A ROYAL GUARD OR AT LEAST A PROTECTOR TO PAYBACK CHUJIN FOR TAKING HIM IN. HE'S GOING TO PROTECT HIS FATHER AND HUMANKIND. IT'S HIS BIGGEST GOAL IN LIFE.

STEAMWORKS STILL EXISTS. ITS JUST CHUJIN HADNT BUILT THE AXIS MODELS IN THIS AU BECAUSE. YOU KNOW.

MAYBE HE SAW POTENTIAL IN HUMAN AXIS, SEEING HOW DETERMINED HE IS TO GROW STRONGER AND PROTECT PEOPLE. CHUJIN WOULD WANT HIM TO HONE HIS SKILLS TO BECOME SOMETHING... BIG.

IN A WAY. AXIS WAS A PEEK INTO WHAT HUMANS COULD BECOME AND WHAT THAT COULD DO FOR HUMAN SOCIETY UNDERGROUND.

MEANWHILE AXIS IS ENAMORED BY STEAMWORKS AND JUST CHUJIN'S WORK IN GENERAL. HE REALLY ADMIRES ROBOTS, HE THINKS ABOUT WHAT ITS LIKE IF HE HAD ROBOTIC MODIFICATIONS.

AND LESS LORE RELEVANT BUT HE ALSO HAS CONNECTIONS TO KANAKO TOO! THEY ARE THE SIBLINGS EVER. THOUGH IVE BEEN WONDERING HOW CEROBA NOT KNOWING AXIS IN STEAMWORKS WOULD WORK. IT'D BE KINDA WEIRD FOR CHUJIN TO KEEP A WHOLE ASS CHILD SECRET FROM HER.

THEYVE PROBABLY SEEN EACH OTHER AND NEVER HAD MUCH SIGNIFICANT

INTERACTIONS FOR THEM TO FULLY REMEMBER EACH OTHER. AXIS SPENDS A MAJORITY OF HIS TIME AT STEAMWORKS OR DOING ROYAL GUARD SHIT, AND WHEN HES NOT DOING THAT HES PROBABLY PLAYING WITH KANAKO [WHEN CEROBA ISNT AROUND]

AND WELL. WE HAD TO GET TO THIS PART EVENTUALLY. ONE DAY A MONSTER MAKES ITS WAY INTO THE UNDERGROUND AND STARTED KILLING PEOPLE. DALV [WHO I ALSO NEED TO DRAW] GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE FRAY WHILE PLAYING WITH KANAKO [AND AXIS TOO]. UPON SEEING HIS FRIENDS GET HURT. SOMETHING CLICKS.

AXIS HAD TRAINED UP TO THIS POINT. THIS WAS HIS MOMENT. HE HAD TO SAVE THE PEOPLE FROM THE THREAT IN FRONT OF THEM. INSTINCTS KICK IN AND HE GOES IN TO FIGHT THE MONSTER WHILE DALV TAKES KANAKO TO SAFETY.

THIS MONSTER WAS TOUGH. HE WAS ALMOST KILLED. BUT HE HAD TO PERSEVERE.

SOMETHING JUST ACTIVATED IN HIS SOUL.

HE FELT A SURGE OF POWER. THE ONLY THING HE KNEW IN THAT MOMENT WAS TO.

GET. RID. OF. THE. THREAT.

IN FRONT OF HIM WAS JUST. A HEADLESS BODY THAT SLOWLY FADED INTO DUST.

THAT... HE DIDNT MEAN TO GO THAT FAR.

SIMILAR TO CLOVER IN GENOCIDE, AXIS HAD RAPIDLY LEVELED UP AND SHOT A POWERFUL ATTACK AT THE MONSTER IN RESPONSE TO ALMOST DYING. HE NEEDED TO KEEP GOING NO MATTER WHAT.

STILL. THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS LAID HEAVY ON HIM.

HE HAD KILLED A LIVING, BREATHING THING.

SOON AFTER CHUJIN WALKED IN ON THE SCENE COMPLETELY HORRIFIED. AXIS, ASHAMED OF WHAT HE HAD DONE RAN TOWARD STEAMWORKS TO ISOLATE HIMSELF, SIMILAR TO DALV.

SURE, HE HAD SAVED PEOPLE FROM THAT MONSTER BUT DID HE HAVE TO BE SO GRUESOME?

CHUJIN RAN AFTER HIM, TRYING TO GET HIM BACK

CHUJIN FINDS HIM AT STEAMWORKS, WALLOWING IN JUST. EVERY EMOTION.

HE TRIES TO COMFORT HIM THOUGH AXIS IS STILL INSISTENT ON NOT GOING OUT.

THE TWO REACHED THE COMPROMISE THAT: AXIS WOULD GUARD AND PROTECT STEAMWORKS AND THAT CHUJIN WOULD CHECK UP ON HIM EVERY NOW AND THEN.

SO THATS WHAT HE DID. HE STAYED AT STEAMWORKS, WATCHING OVER THE PLACE AND ITS ROBOTS FOR….. AGES.

EVENTUALLY CHUJIN'S CHECK UPS GET MORE SPARSE UNTIL JUST. NOTHING.

AXIS NOTICES TOO THAT LESS AND LESS SCIENTISTS ARE PRESENT AT STEAMWORKS. UNTIL THERE IS NO ONE THERE.

WHEN ASKED IF HE WAS GOING TO LEAVE

TOO HE SAID

"NO. MY FATHER AND I HAD REACHED THE AGREEMENT THAT I WOULD STAY AND PATROL THIS AREA, AND THAT I WILL DO." THERE WAS NO CONVINCING HIM TO LEAVE. SO THE OTHERS RELUCTANTLY LEFT HIM BE.

DAY BY DAY HE WATCHES STEAMWORKS FLOOD AND DECAY. WHILE HE STAYS THERE TRYING TO KEEP UP THE AGREEMENT BETWEEN HIS FATHER AND HIMSELF.

NO ONE HAD TOLD HIM.

ONE DAY THOUGH HE FINDS THAT STEAMWORKS SUDDENLY ACTIVATES RIGHT BEFORE SEEING A MONSTER ONCE AGAIN.

OH HE REMEMBERS THE PAST WELL. IN THIS AU IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO GET HIS MEMORY ERASED.

WHILE THE EVENTS PLAY OUT MOSTLY THE SAME COMPARED TO NORMAL UTY.

AXIS SEEMS MORE HESITANT THAN USUAL. AND PROBABLY MONOLOGUING A LITTLE SIMILAR TO WHAT DALV DOES

BEING A HUMAN. HE POSES LESS OF A THREAT ON HIS OWN. HOWEVER. MY GUY SETS UP HOME ALONE TYPE TRAPS N SHIT TO TRY AND CATCH CLOVER INSTEAD [PART OF HIS ROYAL GUARD TRAINING!!.

ONLY RESORTING TO USING "ROBOTIC MODIFICATIONS" HE HAD FOUND WHEN CLOVER REALLY [ticks] HIM OFF.

AND YES. HE STILL GETS A ROBOT SPOUSE IF A PACIFIST PLAYTHROUGH HAPPENS. HUMAN AXIS IS OBJECTUM. ITS REAL.

SO YEAH THAT IS ALL THE THINGS I THINK.

HOLY SHIT THIS THREAD IS LONG. FEW PEOPLE WILL READ THIS I THINK BUT I STILL WANTED TO GET STUPID AU THOUGHTS OUT. UH. YEAH HOPE THAT IS GOOD OR SMTH.. FEEL FREE TO ASK QUESTIONS 🥺