#finding joy in being able to remember

[pien-art]

✢ ✤ snippets ✤ ✢

drawing pictures and memories because I am forever afraid of forgetting.

(prints available here)

[burningcomputerpersona]

my cds (and cassette tape) finally arrived in the mail today!!

[strohller27]

.

[plutosunshine]

How to Make Your Life Fulfilling? Venus in houses

Venus in the 1st house

Venus in the 1st house gives you a natural charm and warmth that draws people in effortlessly. You have a way of making others feel seen and appreciated, and this can open so many doors for you, both personally and professionally. To make your life more fulfilling, lean into that charm—but not just for the sake of getting along with people. Use it to genuinely connect, to create meaningful relationships that feed your soul rather than just your ego.

Since Venus is all about beauty, love, and harmony, surround yourself with things that bring you joy and a sense of peace. This could mean curating a beautiful living space, engaging in creative self-expression, or even just taking time for self-care rituals that make you feel good in your own skin. You naturally exude a certain magnetism, so embrace it—but remember, true fulfillment doesn’t come from how others see you. It comes from how you feel about yourself.

Also, with Venus in the 1st house, you may have a tendency to seek validation from others. It’s great to be liked, but don’t let it define your worth. The more you love and value yourself for who you truly are—not just for how you present yourself—the more you’ll attract people who genuinely appreciate you.

Venus in the 2nd house

With Venus in the 2nd house, your sense of fulfillment is closely tied to your values, possessions, and the way you experience comfort and pleasure. You have a natural talent for attracting resources, whether it’s money, beautiful objects, or people who support you. There’s an appreciation for quality over quantity, and you tend to seek out things that feel luxurious or aesthetically pleasing.

However, true fulfillment with this placement isn’t just about accumulating things—it’s about aligning your resources with what truly matters to you. What do you value most? Is it security, beauty, love, or perhaps a sense of self-worth? The more you connect your resources and talents to those deeper values, the more content and abundant you’ll feel.

You also have a knack for making money through Venusian pursuits—art, design, beauty, or anything that brings pleasure to the senses. But watch out for the tendency to equate your self-worth with your net worth. Venus here can sometimes get too attached to material validation. Instead, focus on cultivating self-love and appreciating what you already have. That’s where the real sense of richness comes from.

Venus in the 3rd house

Venus in the 3rd house brings charm and grace to the way you communicate. You have a natural ability to connect with people through words, whether it’s through writing, speaking, or just casual conversation. You can make even the most mundane topics sound interesting and engaging, which makes you someone others enjoy talking to.

To feel truly fulfilled with this placement, lean into the art of communication. Share your thoughts, write, journal, or even engage in storytelling. You have a gift for making connections, not just between people but also between ideas. You could thrive in roles where you’re able to express yourself creatively—writing, teaching, marketing, or social media.

Relationships with siblings, neighbors, or people in your immediate environment can also be a source of pleasure and support. Venus here can bring harmony to these connections, but it can also indicate a tendency to avoid conflict or gloss over difficult conversations. Remember, true connection comes from being authentic, not just charming.

There’s also a love of learning with this placement. You’re drawn to beautiful words, poetry, art, or even music with meaningful lyrics. Feeding your mind with things that inspire and uplift you can be incredibly fulfilling.

Venus in the 4th house

Venus in the 4th house brings a deep love for home, family, and the feeling of emotional security. You’re someone who finds fulfillment in creating a beautiful, comforting, and harmonious living space—a place that feels like a sanctuary. Your home is likely a reflection of your personal style and values, and you might have a knack for interior design or decorating with a touch of elegance and warmth.

Relationships with family, especially with women or maternal figures, can be significant with this placement. There’s a desire to maintain peace and harmony within the family unit, and you may be the peacemaker, the one who smooths over conflicts or tries to keep everyone happy. But it’s important to ensure that your own emotional needs don’t get lost in the process of keeping the peace.

On a deeper level, Venus here suggests that you seek emotional security through close, loving connections. You thrive when you feel loved and supported at a core, foundational level. It’s not just about physical comfort—it’s about feeling emotionally safe and valued by those closest to you.

You might also have a love for nostalgia, family heirlooms, or anything that carries sentimental value. Surrounding yourself with things that evoke happy memories can be incredibly fulfilling.

Venus in the 5th house

With Venus in the 5th house, life becomes so much more fulfilling when you let yourself fully lean into joy, creativity, and self-expression. This placement is all about letting your inner artist come out to play. Maybe it’s painting, dancing, writing poetry, or just finding little ways to make everyday life feel more romantic and fun. You’re someone who thrives when you’re creating beauty or experiencing it, so make time for the things that light you up.

Love and romance are also major sources of fulfillment for you. But it’s not just about falling in love with someone else—it’s about falling in love with life itself. Date yourself. Treat yourself to little luxuries, whether it’s a spontaneous weekend trip, a fancy coffee, or a night out doing something you genuinely enjoy. The more you infuse your days with moments that feel special, the more alive you’ll feel.

And don’t forget to play. Venus in the 5th house is like the cosmic permission slip to embrace your inner child. Go do things just for the fun of it, without any expectation of being productive or impressive. Whether it’s a silly game night with friends or trying something new just for the thrill, those moments of pure, uncomplicated joy are what keep your spirit thriving.

You also have a gift for making others feel special, and that can be incredibly fulfilling. Compliment someone, write a love letter, or surprise a friend with something thoughtful. The love you give has a way of coming back to you tenfold, especially when it’s given without expectation.

Venus in the 6th house

With Venus in the 6th house, life feels more fulfilling when you find beauty and pleasure in the everyday routines. You’re someone who can turn even the simplest tasks into something enjoyable—like making your morning coffee a little ritual, organizing your workspace to feel cozy and inviting, or putting on your favorite playlist while you get things done. The more you bring a sense of grace and harmony to your daily life, the more content and grounded you’ll feel.

Work and service are big themes here too. You’re at your best when you’re doing work that feels meaningful, especially if it involves helping others or creating a more pleasant, harmonious environment. Maybe you have a knack for making things look beautiful, whether it’s arranging flowers, designing a workspace, or just bringing a calm, welcoming vibe to the office. The key is to find work that not only supports you financially but also feels rewarding on a soul level.

There’s also a desire for balance and harmony in your health and wellness routines. You might feel most fulfilled when you’re taking care of yourself in a way that feels good rather than just going through the motions. Think gentle movement, nourishing foods, or creating a relaxing bedtime routine that genuinely helps you unwind.

Relationships with coworkers or those you see on a day-to-day basis can be another source of warmth and connection. You’re someone who can make even mundane interactions feel pleasant and kind, and that energy tends to come back to you. Small acts of kindness, thoughtful gestures, or simply taking time to connect can bring a lot of subtle but lasting fulfillment.

Venus in the 7th house

With Venus in the 7th house, life feels most fulfilling when you’re deeply connected to others in a way that’s balanced, loving, and genuinely harmonious. You’re someone who craves meaningful, one-on-one connections—whether it’s a romantic partnership, a close friendship, or even a business collaboration. You naturally know how to make people feel seen and appreciated, and that energy tends to draw others to you like a magnet.

Romantic relationships are especially significant with this placement. You thrive in partnerships where there’s mutual respect, affection, and a sense of shared beauty—whether that’s creating a beautiful home together, going on romantic dates, or just finding little ways to make each other feel special. But it’s not just about having a partner; it’s about having a partnership that feels balanced and fair, where both people feel equally valued.

There’s also a talent for creating harmony and peace in your interactions. You’re a natural mediator, someone who can smooth over conflicts and help people find common ground. This can be a gift in both personal and professional relationships, but it’s important to be mindful of not over-compromising just to keep the peace. Your needs matter too.

Life also feels more fulfilling when you surround yourself with beauty and grace. Maybe that means planning intimate gatherings, visiting art galleries, or simply spending time with people who inspire you. The more you cultivate relationships that feel warm, loving, and aesthetically pleasing, the more fulfilled you’ll feel.

Venus in the 8th house

With Venus in the 8th house, life feels most fulfilling when you’re diving deep—into relationships, into your own psyche, into the mysteries of life. Superficial connections just don’t do it for you; you crave intensity, intimacy, and transformative experiences that feel almost soul-deep. You’re drawn to people and situations that make you feel seen in ways that are profound, raw, and real.

There’s a magnetic, almost hypnotic quality to your presence. People may find themselves confiding in you or feeling inexplicably drawn to you. But fulfillment doesn’t come from just any connection—it comes from those rare, all-consuming bonds where you can be completely vulnerable and still feel safe and valued.

Money and resources can also be areas of focus with this placement. You might find yourself drawn to situations involving shared finances, inheritances, or investments. You could even have a knack for attracting wealth through partnerships or strategic alliances. But the deeper lesson here is about not letting money or possessions define your worth. True abundance for you is about emotional and spiritual richness, not just material wealth.

Sexuality, too, can be a path to fulfillment. You’re someone who experiences love and desire intensely, and casual flings may leave you feeling empty. You crave the kind of connection where intimacy isn’t just physical—it’s emotional, psychological, even spiritual. When you find someone you can trust enough to let your guard down completely, that’s where the magic happens.

Healing and transformation are big themes here too. You have the potential to deeply heal yourself and others by facing your own shadows and helping others face theirs. The more you embrace the depths of who you are—the light and the dark—the more empowered and fulfilled you’ll feel.

Venus in the 9th house

With Venus in the 9th house, life feels most fulfilling when you’re exploring, learning, and expanding your horizons. You’re someone who finds beauty in the bigger picture—in new experiences, different cultures, and the pursuit of knowledge that opens your mind and heart. Routine and predictability can feel stifling; you crave the excitement of discovering new perspectives and connecting with people who inspire you to think differently.

Travel can be a major source of joy and inspiration. You’re the type who falls in love with distant places, foreign customs, and the feeling of being somewhere completely new. Even if you can’t physically travel, exploring new philosophies, spiritual practices, or higher education can give you that same sense of expansion and fulfillment.

Relationships often take on a more adventurous, expansive quality with this placement. You’re drawn to people who broaden your worldview—those who challenge you to see life through a different lens. Romantic connections might even come through travel, education, or shared beliefs, and you’re likely most attracted to those who have a bit of a free spirit or worldly vibe.

You also have a love for wisdom and meaning. Superficial small talk? Not your thing. You want conversations that go deeper, that explore life’s purpose or the nature of love and beauty. You might feel most fulfilled when you’re discussing philosophy, spirituality, or big-picture ideas that make you feel more connected to something greater than yourself.

Venus in the 10th house

With Venus in the 10th house, life feels most fulfilling when you’re recognized for your talents, beauty, or charm in a public or professional setting. You naturally know how to present yourself in a way that’s attractive and appealing, making you someone who can easily win people over in business, career, or social circles. There’s a magnetic quality to how you carry yourself, and people often notice your grace, style, or charisma.

You’re someone who finds purpose in being admired for what you do, not just who you are. There’s a desire to be respected, appreciated, or even loved for your work or contributions to the world. You might feel most fulfilled when you’re in a role where you can express your Venusian qualities—art, design, fashion, beauty, diplomacy, or any field where creating harmony and aesthetics is part of the job.

Relationships can also play a significant role in your career or public life. You may attract partners who can elevate your status or support your ambitions, or you may find love through work or professional connections. There’s a natural talent for networking and forming alliances that are both beneficial and pleasant.

However, the lesson here is not to get too caught up in appearances or external validation. It’s great to be admired, but true fulfillment comes from doing work that feels aligned with your values and brings a sense of genuine accomplishment. When you’re creating something that feels beautiful or meaningful to you, the recognition naturally follows.

There’s also a graceful, diplomatic way you handle responsibilities. You can be a natural mediator or someone who brings a touch of elegance to leadership roles. People may look up to you not just for what you achieve, but for how you achieve it—with poise, tact, and a genuine love for what you do.

Venus in the 11th house

With Venus in the 11th house, life feels most fulfilling when you’re surrounded by people who share your values, dreams, and ideals. You’re someone who thrives in groups, communities, and friendships where there’s a sense of connection and mutual support. You naturally attract people who are kind, artistic, or socially conscious, and you have a knack for making others feel welcome and included.

Friendships can be a major source of joy for you. You’re the type who genuinely enjoys connecting people, bringing different circles together, or planning gatherings that feel warm and inclusive. You have a way of making group settings feel more harmonious, and people are drawn to your easygoing, likable energy.

There’s also a love for causes, movements, or shared visions. You might feel most fulfilled when you’re involved in projects that bring people together for a greater purpose—whether it’s activism, charity work, or just creating a sense of community. You’re someone who can bring a touch of beauty or artistry to group efforts, whether that’s through creative collaborations, event planning, or just making things feel more pleasant and inviting.

Romance can also have a slightly unconventional vibe here. You might find yourself falling for someone who feels more like a best friend, or you could meet partners through social groups, online communities, or shared interests. The lines between friendship and romance can blur, and you’re likely drawn to people who share your hopes and dreams for the future.

But the key to feeling truly fulfilled with this placement is to stay connected to what you love, not just who you love. What are the big dreams and visions that light you up? What kind of people make you feel inspired and uplifted? The more you surround yourself with those kinds of connections, the more your Venus shines.

Venus in the 12th house

With Venus in the 12th house, life feels most fulfilling when you’re tapping into the deeper, more subtle layers of love, beauty, and connection. You’re someone who experiences love in a soulful, almost otherworldly way. There’s a natural pull toward the mystical, the hidden, and the unspoken, and you may find yourself drawn to people or experiences that feel a bit like a dream or a secret.

There’s a deep, compassionate heart here. You’re someone who can love unconditionally, often seeing the beauty in people that others might overlook. But there can also be a tendency to give too much or to lose yourself in relationships, so finding that balance between self-sacrifice and self-love is key.

Solitude can be incredibly nourishing for you. Time alone, daydreaming, creating art, or simply getting lost in your own inner world can feel as fulfilling as being with others. You might find peace through spiritual practices, meditation, or spending time in nature—anything that allows you to connect with the intangible.

Love can be a bit elusive with this placement. There might be secret relationships, unspoken feelings, or attractions to people who are somehow unavailable or difficult to reach. There’s a romantic, almost fairy-tale quality to how you experience love, but it can also mean that you’re drawn to situations that are more fantasy than reality.

Art, music, and anything that allows you to express the deeper, more emotional parts of yourself can be incredibly healing and fulfilling. You have a gift for channeling your feelings into something beautiful, and the more you do that, the more your soul feels nourished.

[xximperioxx]

One of me is cute, but two though?

Dr. Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x fem!reader

Word Count: 2.7k (not proofread)

Warnings: NSFW (18+ ONLY) age gap, swearing, fluff, established relationship, poorly written explicit smut, p in v, the slightest bit somnophilia, breeding kink, cockwarming?, female anatomy, male anatomy, unsafe sex, (let me know if I missed anything) MDNI 18+

Notes: pls be gentle with me this is my first time writing smut like this and Im so inexperienced it’s not funny. Enjoy the Sarah Paulson meme I put in there. Also I’ve been blown away by the love my work has recent gotten and I truly appreciate it. Anyways enjoy <3

Gif cred: @xxdrixx

———————————————————

You don’t exactly remember how you and Dr. Robinavitch got together. It started out with stolen glances and innocent touches at work and a kiss outside your apartment when he walked you home one night.

Today was busy and you were ready to go home. Except it wasn’t even noon yet.

You sit down at a computer with a huff. Your feet silently thanking you for a break. The sounds of the ED ringing in your ears as you try to focus on the screen in front of you. Your leg begins to bounce out of habit and your eyes look around the busy hospital.

Santos takes a seat at the computer across from you. She gives you a small smile. You return the gesture before your eyes look back at the computer and stare at the time. All you wanted to do was go back to Robby’s apartment and cuddle on the couch with your sweats on. With how this day was going the dream of your Friday night plans were beginning to fade away. Is an easy day so hard to ask for?

Collins catches your eye as she tries to soothe a crying baby. Robby tells her something before she carefully hands the child to him. Your eyes immediately gravitate seeing your boyfriend gently rocking the fussy infant. You perk up, now sitting up straight. If this wasn’t the hottest thing you’ve ever seen you don’t know what was. The two of you haven’t brought up the conversation of kids just yet.

You knew he was getting older and while you were still young, you weren’t sure of motherhood just yet. You’ve seen the horrors and heartbreak of childbirth in this hospital but you’ve also seen the light it brought to people. When the tears of pain turn into tears of joy. You’ve always imagined having a family but you never had a timeline. That was until you saw your man holding a baby right then.

You feel yourself grow hot and your pulse quickens. Suddenly, images of a future as a family with him flash through your mind. Being pregnant with Robby by your side, gently rocking your child to sleep, getting them ready school in the morning. You want it. All of it. God you wanted to climb like a tree right here.

The attending can feel someone’s eyes on him. His eyes search the room before they land on yours. His gently shushing comes to a stop. He gives you a confused look, not able to read your expression. Your lustful eyes soften as your face flushes from enamorment. You love him. You shake your head silently telling him it’s nothing.

He gives you a smile that says ‘I love you’ but a look that says you’ll be talking later. He continues to softly shush the infant in his arms before going to find the mother.

You don’t hear Collins approach the desk. She follows your gaze and lets out a laugh, “You okay there, Doc?”

Santos doesn’t look up from her computer, “She’s been like this for 5 minutes. Making bedroom eyes at Dr. Robby.”

“I think my body just had a physical reaction.” you joke.

Santos grimaced, “I don’t need to know about that. You keep that to yourself.” Collins lets out a snort as you scoff.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You let out a yelp as a hand pulls you into an unused room. The person pulls you into them. Out of reflex you start resisting. Which ends up to be you sadly hitting their chest.

“It’s just me– stop hitting me. Hey!” Robby grabs your hands, stopping you from hitting him more.

Your eyes widen in shock, “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Surprised turns to annoyance. You glare at him, “Why didn’t you just leave me a note like you normally do?”

He lets go of your hands and lets out a laugh. You try to fight turning your scowl into a stupid grin at his laugh.

His hands slither around your waist, pulling you flushed against him, “Is it so wrong for me to want a spontaneous moment alone with my beautiful girlfriend.” You roll your eyes as your hands reach up to rest on his chest.

He leans down and his lips meet yours for a gentle kiss.

He slowly pulls away after a few seconds, “We really need to get you trained on self defense because whatever that was earlier– was sad.”

You hit him again.

“Ow!”

You shut him up with a quick kiss, “Don’t be a wimp. I didn’t hit you that hard.” He grins.

His thumb sneaks under your scrub top and grazes the bare skin. Subconsciously, you feel your body shiver at his cold touch and lean into him closer. He smirks down at you. “What was with that look you gave me earlier?”

Your eyes look up at him with innocence, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

A pinch causes your hips to jerk. His fingers caress the area. You sigh and nervously play with his stethoscope around his neck. “It’s dumb.” You mumble.

He gives you a displeased look, “Trust me it’s not.”

You purse your lips and can feel your heart beating faster, “When you were holding that baby,” the image pops into your mind, “It made me realize I want that with you. Like really, really badly.”

Your boyfriend raises an eyebrow at you, not expecting that.

His face softens, “You want a baby with me?”

You nod.

“I want a family with you too.”

Your hands reach up and pull him down for a searing kiss. He kisses you back immediately.

The two of you slowly pull away to catch your breath.

Robby placed a kiss on your forehead, “I love you.”

Your face turns red at the thought of earlier. You laugh and hide your face in his chest. “Michael, I wanted to fuck you right then and there. It was so embarrassing.”

His laugh rumbles his chest. “So that’s what that look was.”

Your groan comes out muffled from his chest.

“Well, how about tonight when we get home,” his thumbs start tracing your skin again, “We can work on that. Plus, you’re ovulating…”

You pull away with a scoff, slightly amazed. “How the hell do you even know that?”

He shrugs, giving you a sheepish grin, “It’s the doctor in me…and the boyfriend in me.”

A knock interrupts you two. Dana’s voice rings out, “Robby! We got a teen. Respiratory arrest. ETA 2 minutes.”

You both pull away from each other. Robby runs his hands down his face before they drop to his side. He sighs.

You lift your hand to his cheek and bring his face to yours.You press a kiss to his other cheek. “I love you.”

He gives your hand a squeeze before walking out to prepare for the coming case. You pull out your phone for a minute, not wanting to make it obvious you were in the room with your attending alone.

You walk out of the room, mentally trying to prepare yourself for what’s to come for the rest of the shift. A body waiting outside the door scares you. Dana.

You greet her with a shy smile, “Hi, Dana.”

The charge nurse gives you a knowing smirk, “Hi, kid.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robby waits outside the hospital by the bike rack with one AirPod in. He focuses on McVie’s bass while ‘The Chain’ plays in his ear, blocking out the thoughts of his shift. His eyes follow the headlights of the cars passing the building.

You see Robby standing with his hands in his sweatshirt pockets. As if he could feel you coming, he looks up to meet your tired eyes. He greets you with a faint smile.

“Sorry, Collins stopped me on my way out about one of my patients.”

You didn’t want to tell him that the actual conversation was. It was just Collins leaning into you in passing with a “I hope it sticks tonight” ,a cheeky grin, and thumbs up for luck. All while you gaped at her.

You reach for his hand as you begin the walk to his place. Like most days when you and Robby share the same shift, the two of you walk to his apartment in comfortable silence. Robby normally listened to music to clear his head as you paid attention to the night life of the city.

Robby opens the door to his apartment and walks in after you. After dropping your bag at the table, you walk over to the door and take off your shoes. Out of the corner of your eye you see Robby walking over to you with a smolder.

He goes to reach for you but your hand stops him, “We are not doing anything until I am out of these scrubs and we have food in our stomachs because I know you didn’t eat anything today but a granola bar.”

Robby sighs in disappointment and you let out a snicker. He opens the fridge and pulls out leftovers as you grab two plates out of the cabinet.

The two of you eat while sharing conversations about positive things about your shifts. He brings up working with Whittaker as you share how your cases with Santos went well.

After you both finish, Robby picks up both of your plates as you start putting away the food you didn’t eat, “Do you mind if I take a quick shower?”

You wave him off and he gives you a quick peck on the lips before you start working on the dishes. After a bit, the kitchen is now clean. It had been a mess since this morning when the two of you left in a rush for work. You finish washing your hands before throwing the paper towel in the trash. The water had stopped a while ago and figured Robby had gotten ready for bed.

You make your way to the bedroom and find Robby sitting against the headboard in his boxers with a book in his hands. He glances up at you, his readers resting on his nose,“Thank you for cleaning, honey.”

He reaches his arm out to you. Walking over, you lean down and give him a quick kiss. “I’m going to shower. I’ll be quick.”

You come out of the bathroom feeling refreshed, wearing Robby’s bathrobe and some spare panties you had in the apartment. Rummaging through his dresser for a shirt, you feel Robby’s eyes on you. You laugh, “Stop looking at me like a teenage boy.”

“I can’t help it.” You glance down at the bulge growing in his boxers.

He motions you over and you immediately follow. You climb over him with ease, now straddling him. He notices your dilated pupils and how your breathing deepens. His calloused fingers trail from your thighs up to your hips.

Your eyes move from his eyes to his lips once more before leaning down and capturing his lips with yours. He kisses you back feverishly.

His fingers quickly untie the robe. He slips it off you and tosses it across the room. You let out a whimper as his hands immediately grasp at your breasts. Your kiss gets interrupted by your phone ringing from the other room.

You shake your head, “Ignore it.”

He leaves kisses down your neck. His teeth scraping, leaving you out of breath. You subconsciously begin to grind your hips. He lets out a groan before gently biting down on your pulse point.

His fingers push aside your panties. “Fuck,” He choked a groan feeling how wet you were.

You let out a whimper as his fingers collected your wetness. His thumb gently brushes against your clit. You fall into him with a gasp.

Your ringtone interrupts you again. You pull away with a sigh.

Robby’s hands rest on your hips. “Go get it. It could be important. Besides, I’m not going anywhere. ” you nod before he gives your hips a squeeze as you get off him.

You quickly grab an old junky shirt from his dresser. Your footsteps pad against the hardwood to the kitchen and you pick up your phone. You see two missed calls and a message from your mom. Call me.

What you thought was an important call ended up being 15 minutes of your mom trying to catch up and you repeating you would call her tomorrow. The ‘call me’ was just to tell you that she and dad got a new dog. You wanted to slam your head against the wall.

You come back into the bedroom with a snort, ready to tell your boyfriend what happened. You stop to find him asleep leaning against the headboard with his mouth slightly open. Soft snores fill the room. You let out a quiet laugh.

You turn the light off by his bedside and carefully take off his reading glasses before crawling into bed with him. You aimlessly scroll on your phone, looking at social media.

You don’t feel him shift, his head finally sinking into his pillow, “I’m sorry,” he mumbles.

You roll onto your side and face him.

“For being tired after a long shift?”

He grumbles and you snuggle into him with your head laying on his bare chest. “It’s okay, I’m tired too,” you reassure him while stifling a yawn. He lays a gentle kiss on the top of your head. You both fall asleep within minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up in the morning you were expecting it to be the smell of coffee and not your boyfriend copping a feel. Your eyes flutter open to see Robby’s fingers carefully massaging your breasts under your shirt, gently pinching your nipples. All while pressing kisses down your neck.

His hardened cock rubs against you. You let out a tired laugh before turning to face him, “Well, good morning to you.”

He gives you a boyish grin. He watches as you climb on top of him. In the same position as last night. “Good morning, hon.”

Your fingers graze his bulge before giving it a squeeze, “You weren’t joking about trying for a baby right away.”

Robby shakes his head while biting his lip trying not to moan. Noticing the damp spot on your panties, his rough fingers brush against your clothed clit, “Not wasting any time.”

You let out a whimper. “P-Perfect.”

He slides your panties down and you awkwardly take them off before he takes his boxers off. His cock springs against his stomach. You lower your hips. Robby grips your hips once more and you gently begin to move. Your slickness now coating his thick member as your pussy slowly rubs up and down. Your hand covers your mouth as you let out a muffled moan when your clit brushes against his tip.

Robby throws his head back, “Fuck, sweetheart,” he groans, “if you keep this up. I-I can’t cum in you.”

You nod. You don’t think you can form a sentence right now. Your body was on fire. Your hips lift as Robby guides himself to your entrance. You let out a whine at the same time Robby lets out a breathy moan as you slowly sink down on him. Every inch stretching you as if it’s your first time together again.

You slowly begin to move your hips up and down as you ride him. After a few seconds you feel yourself grow tired and slow down. Robby lets out a chuckle.

“Don’t laugh. I’m doing all the work, old man.” His fingers find your clit and gives it a soft pinch. You let out a shaky gasp. “Don’t be mean.” You warn.

Your hands scratch at his chest as his hips begin to thrust up meeting yours. The sounds coming from his mouth edge you closer to finishing.

“Fuck, I’m close,” Robby warns with a grunt. His hooded eyes staring at your blissful face. His thumb rubs small circles on your clit.

“Oh fuck, Michael- baby,” you whine as he speeds up his thumb motion.

After a few more thrusts, Robby cums inside you with a guttural moan. Your release follows shortly after, loudly moaning as you feel him cum. Your hips continue to grind, riding out your bliss.

Suddenly, you feel heavy as your orgasm bliss wears off. Your muscles screaming at you. Panting, you tiredly slump on top of Robby. He gently rubs your back still inside you. The two of you even your breathing.

You lay in comfortable silence as you listen to his heartbeat. Robby draws shapes on your back. The sun peaks through a crevice of the blackout curtains.

“I feel good about that one,” you joke, “Having two of me will be a handful for you.”

Getting a second wind, Robby flips you both over. Now smirking down at you on your back, “We should keep trying…just to be safe.”

[sadburntbread]

BATFAM X NEGLECTED! MALE READER

----- Warnings before you read ----- Child Neglect, Bullying, Death, Violence, Slight swearing, Angst

"My child, my pride and joy" your mother's voice was soft and quiet, she touched the side of your cheek still chubby with baby fat "should there ever be a day when I am not here with you, then you must learn to care for yourself. You must never give your heart to those unworthy". Her words carrying the weight of years of personal experience. She was the wife of the Bruce Wayne, although it was because of an unwanted arranged marriage. her long hair framed her face as she sat in the bay window, overlooking the rain falling down on Gotham, the moonlight casting a soft glow on her face.

"Mama?" your confused face caused her eyes to soften, she picked you up and sat you in her lap. She casted a sad look at you and hugged you tightly.

"M/n, listen to me" Her voice turned stern, you nodded and focused your childish doe eyes on her "you are only eight my boy, you do not yet understand how cruel this world is.", She let out a sigh "I pity you; your father is a busy man, who never spares us the time of day. Your mother is weak in both will and heath. You only have Alfred to truly rely on". Tears were streaming from her eyes as she looked out the window, no longer being able to look you in the eyes. "I wish for you to break out of these chains that bind me. Live a life where you can smile freely. promise me that, m/n".

Over the next few years Bruce brought in many children. Dick was nice, he was cheerful but never had time for you, much like father. Jason was the best brother, you two always spent time together, however, one day he died. Tim... was ok... you were still grieving from Jason's death, and Tim never cared to look your way. Cas and Steph were just... there, Bruce was always training them, and they didn't think you were worth their time. After all, you were simply the spoiled young master Wayne. Lastly, Bruce, he never spent time with you other than at galas. When you went to the galas with your parents and adopted siblings, Bruce would treat you as his precious son. However, your mother could never look at the scene for long, knowing the true neglect that you didn't even know you were experiencing. Aside from that, life was fine. You still had your mother who loved you more than anything, and you had Alfred. Alfred thought of your mother as his own daughter and treated you as his grandson. You did good in school, always wanting to see your mother's smile when she saw your grades.

However, your whole life turned upside down the year you turned 12. Your mother died; her health had been deteriorating ever since you were born.

"Baby..." her voice was shaking, you held the had she reached out, watching as her dazed eyes couldn't find you. The only other person in the room was Alfred, " 'm sorry" Her voice broke into a sob "I'm so sorry for bringing you into this terrible place, please... Please forgive me". Her hand trembled in your grasp; tears streamed down your face.

"I could never blame you mom" you promised, at your words she smiled. With the last of her strength, she spoke again.

"Remember.... don't give... your heart to... these people". Her voice faded and her hand went limp in your hold.

"MOM!", you yelled "MOTHER PLEASE!" Alfred pulled you away from your mother, you cried in his shoulder. Your sobs echoed through the halls of the manor.

Your light was gone.

Her funeral was miserable. Bruce and your adopted siblings came, but only for appearances. As soon as the basic courtesies were over, they all left. You stayed there for the whole day and deep into the night, until Alfred made you get some rest.

After your mother's death, Bruce had you train like all your adopted siblings, it was grueling. He never taught you one-on-one, he had you watch him train the other then practice on your own. He always got so disappointed when you couldn't match pace with the others. However, you wanted to please them. Make them proud. "Foolish child" you could hear your mother say

It was around this time when Jason returned, you were so excited. finally, someone who you could spend time with, you were so lonely. But he was never the same boy you once knew, he was now cold and distant. He looked at you in annoyance... Just like the rest of them.

Days in the Wayne manor passed slowly, you followed your regular routine day by day. Wake up, got to school, go home, do schoolwork, do night watches, sleep and repeat. Things changed when father brought in your half-brother, Damian. Sure, at first you were upset that your father cheated on your mother, but now you had someone you could spend time with and relate to. You thought he would go through the same neglect, instead, he was loved, welcomed. Nothing like you.

"He's had a hard life", they'd say "you wouldn't understand, you've had everything handed to you and all the love you could want". It repeated in your head, all you did was ask why he got more love than you.

It wasn't fair... IT WASNT FAIR!

No... Calm down, take a deep breath. Hold it. Release it. Repeat.

Your mother taught you that when you'd start throwing fits, she was right. There was no use in getting upset over something you couldn't change... You'd just have to prove them wrong, be the best vigilante there ever was.

Damian was the worst. He thought of you as competition, you just wanted to be his friend.

"You know", Damian began, you had asked him to hang out, he was your younger brother after all, and you have to be a good brother like Jason used to be "It's your fault your pathetic mother died".

"...What" It wasn't a question. It was a dare, "Say that again. Do you have a death wish?" Now you were standing right in front of him, your frame towering over him. The empty living room became even more silent.

"I said", He didn't back down, instead, he stood tall "You caused your mother's death. I mean, think about it. If you hadn't been born than your mother wouldn't have fallen ill". you pushed him against the wall, pinning his shoulder with enough strength to break it, if he were a normal person. "Never mind, it wasn't your fault" Oh? was he back down? No... his smirk spread "it was your mother's fault for being so weak"

WHACK

you punched at his face; he moved but you still hit the side of his cheek, then he started punching back. it became a back and forth of fists. The two of you scuffling on the floor before a voice rang out.

"What the hell is going on here!?", you both looked over. It was dick, he was followed by the rest of your adopted siblings. Both of you let go of the other, your breathing ragged. You noticed Damian's breathing was steady, as if he hadn't just been fighting. Monster

'"He-" You tried to explain yourself, but Dick cut you off. He stormed up to you, his expression was furious, and he smacked you...hard. You stood shocked, your head turned to the side and your eyes wide in disbelief, you put your hand to your burning cheek.

"You are older than him! I don't care what excuse you have, you should know better!" Dick yelled, he grabbed you by your wrist and began pulling you. "We're going to see Bruce, you can explain yourself to him". Dick dragged you to Bruces's office, his grip was painfully tight. When you two stood Infront of the doors to his office you felt dread fill you. It wasn't your fault. It was Damian's. you repeated in your head. Dick pushed the doors open quickly, Bruce looked up at his arrival, waiting for an explanation. He always just ignored you; he'd say that he was too busy and to come back later. "He was fighting with Damian. The kid just started punching him." Dick explained. You froze as your father's disapproving eyes turned to you.

NO! that's not how it happened! You had to defend yourself, say something...ANYTHING. "He-he said mother was weak! That I was the reason she died!" You stuttered as you tried to explain. He'd understand, surly. However, your hopes were crushed when Bruce's expression didn't change, when it didn't soften in understanding.

"Dick, Leave us. I'll talk with him". Bruce instructed. Dick sent you a quick disappointed glare then left, the door closed with a slight slam. The office was quite before Bruce let out a sigh and rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "I understand that you were upset. However, that is no reason to hit your younger brother". His gaze turned to you, then back to the papers on his desk. "Aside from that, I've been meaning to talk to you".

Oh? He wants to talk to you? That has never happened before. You felt yourself getting excited, forgetting all about the scuffle with Damian.

"I have decided to make Damian the heir to the Wayne Enterprises". Bruce didn't even look at you. He never does.

"...What?" You couldn't stop the question from slipping out. No, you had to defend your position, Mother's position. Consequences be damned. "No, you can't! He is an affair child; I am supposed to take over the company!"

That was a mistake. Bruce glared at you, his piercing eyes shutting you up quickly. "Do not fight with me child. The decisions already been made. Now go get ready for your night watch". That was it. The conversation was over. When you walked to your room you passed by the living room full of your adopted siblings, all joking with each other. You watched them for a moment before made eye contact with Damian, then, he smirked.

After it became public that you were no longer going to take over Wayne Enterprises, people outside the manor stopped being kind to you. After all, you were no longer the heir to the company, why should they care about you?

That leads us a couple years in the future, to tonight, the night was hauntingly beautiful. On this night Batman and his crew of sidekicks were all out because the Joker had gotten a new toy. Some beasts with something akin to tendrils. You all had to split up, Cass and Steph, Dick and Jason, Tim and Damian. you were sent off on your own, like always. But it was fine, you were used to it. You had gotten stronger, both emotionally and physically.

but tonight was different, you couldn't handle it. you and Batman were in the same general area; however, you were both distracted with your own fights. Then a quiet voice could be heard, one that was not the joker's, you looked over and saw an elderly lady in the middle of the shopping district you were fighting in. A tendril flew at you before you could run to her, you blocked it and turned to the lady.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?", you yelled at her, she looked at you, a helpless look in her eyes. She was confused. "EVACUATE!" At your yelling, Batman looked over to you two, his eyes widened as he noticed the lady. Batman quickly finished off the beast he was fighting then turned to the lady, a tendril rushed towards her. Batman rushed to grab her first, it was close, but he successfully caught her and dropped her nearby safely.

However, the tendril turned and rushed towards you. Too fast for you to react, all you could do was yell. "DAD!" The first time you had said that in such a long time.

It was too late. The tendril pierced through your stomach.

It went quiet. You couldn't hear or see anything. Couldn't hear Batman's yell of your name, couldn't see him rushing to you. All you could see was the black tendril in your stomach. your vision got hazy, and you dropped.

You were caught, but you couldn't see who. It was terrifying, the cold you felt. Did mother feel the same way?

There was a voice... Who's? Their tone was begging. Was there anyone who cared enough to beg you to stay?

You were so, so tired... Then you saw her....

Mother

"DAD!!" Your voice cut through the air; Batman looked to you. His eyes widened at the sight of you being pierced through.

"M/N!!" Batman didn't even know he could sound so desperate. His son was going to die, just like Jason. He rushed to your side, pulling off his cape to wrap the wound. when the cape was tight enough, he grabbed you, carrying you to a distant building, one untouched by the enemy. He had to fight his way through the area, it was difficult with you in his arms, but he made sure you didn't get hurt any more than you already had. "Don't you die on me, m/n! I promise to treat you better. Don't leave me, not like your mother". He mumbled pleas as he carried you, and even more after he set you down. After he was sure you were still breathing (Although shallow and rough) Batman spoke into the communication device all of his children shared. "M/n is injured. Clear your area and hurry to [-----]. I have him resting safely in an abandoned building, we need to take him back to the manor, I'm not sure how much longer he'll last". It was less than a minute before multiple worried voices came though the mic, promising to be there soon. Batman pushed the hair from your sweaty face, "I won't let you die". With that he rushed back to the thick of the battle.

It was less than 20 minutes later when the rest of the Batfamily arrived, with them all working together they were able to take down the beasts and the joker relatively quickly. As soon as the battle was over Nightwing turned to Batman.

"Where is he!? Where is M/n?!" Nightwing's voice was rushed and out of breath from the fight, the others behind him listened closely for Batman's answer, they were all in a similar state as Nightwing. Batman pointed to an abandoned building, still untouched by conflict. No words needed to be spoken; they all took off in that direction. However, they paused as a laugh cut through the air, they all looked over to the source, it was the Joker. In a weak voice, Joker spoke.

"Boom" At his word many nearby buildings exploded, including the one batman set you in.

"NO!" Red Hood yelled, he felt terrible, he took his anger for Batman out on you, his baby brother. The same brother he swore to protect. They all took off, rushing to the building, holding onto hope that you somehow survived. The building you were set in was completely destroyed, but they all keep searching, they needed proof you were truly gone.

Damian paused his search, before quickly moving stones. His sudden hurry caused the others to all join him. they found something...

bits and pieces of batman's cape, then.... an arm... your arm...

You were gone, and they never had the chance to apologize, to spend movie nights with you, to take you out to eat, to celebrate your birthday.

It only took your death for them realize they failed you.

TO BE CONTINUED

[pixiepipedreams]

♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — distant flickerings, greener scenery // in-ho x reader

♡  ⁄  pairing: in-ho x reader, hints of gi-hun x reader ♡  ⁄  warnings & tags: fem!reader, canon-typical violence & death, obsessive behavior, lying/manipulation, age gap (reader is 20-22, in-ho & gi-hun are late 40s, early 50s) ♡  ⁄ wordcount: 4.2k ♡  ⁄ summary: after losing your mom at 18, you move to south korea with your father for a fresh start. he incurs a lot of debt, and on the verge of losing your student visa, you enter the squid game. quickly adhering to gi-hun's group to increase your chance of survival, you gain the attention of the strange player 001... THIS IS PART ONE OF A SERIES!! (➋) (➌) (➍)

﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵ ﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵

Life is a series of bad decisions and dead-ends.

It's something you've tried not to believe, but your mother's misery had been infused into your bones, the code of your very being. Every day, you tried to bring more light to the world, to love even the little things - to love those little things even more, just for existing. Every shifting cloud in the sky, every gentle breeze, every moment has joy if you know where to look. As much as you love your mother, she only saw the worst in life. When she died, you were only 18, but it gave you a sense of freedom. You applied for a student visa to South Korea, wanting to live somewhere that would remind you the least of what you've lost. Your father moved with you, and things were okay, for a few years.

On the brink of losing your visa, and finding out your father has incurred a huge debt, you felt like you were running out of choices. Until a handsome man in the subways gave you an opportunity. You didn't know the game very well, but you managed to win a few rounds of ddakji, well worth the harsh slaps you received for losing even more. When he gave you a business card, a chance to earn more money, dig yourself out of the pit that threatened to swallow you whole... you hesitated.

Then your father got hospitalized. You couldn't take on his debt alone, let alone cover his hospital fees. So you called him. When you awake in a strange place, the number 132 written on a green tracksuit you don't remember putting on, you get the sinking feeling that you made the wrong choice.

Your mother's voice rings through your head when the first game starts, and player 456 shouts to everyone that these games could cost your life. He sounded insane, but the bundle of dread in your stomach was impossible to ignore. You believed him.

And then the first person died.

You were one of the first to make it past the finish line, ushering as many people as you could through. It wasn't enough. You have to tear your eyes away from the bloody bodies littering the field, feeling sick. But at least there's the sky, above you. Blue and bright and beautiful, like hope itself. The wind moving the sparse clouds makes you feel both small and big, like maybe you could make it. You're only in your early 20s, you still have so much life to live.

The vote gets announced in the dormitories, and when it's your turn at the button, you have no clue what the correct path is. Player 044's words play in your mind - The time and place of each one of your deaths was decided from the instant you were born. There's no changing it now. No matter how hard you try to fight it, you'll never be able to escape your fate. Your hand hovers, then you press 'O'. One more game.

The final player votes the same way as you, ensuring that everyone will play again. The 'X's are groaning, distraught, but some of them have the same fatalistic hope in their eyes that mirror your own. Your eyes find 456, noting his deep disappointment, almost to the point of despair. You feel a hint of guilt, but you know you're one of 183 people who voted the same. It would've been easier to assuage that guilt, though, if it wasn't such a close vote. Just one person could have changed the tides, shifted fate...

You feel compelled to approach him, but you're not the only one. You end up to the right behind player 001, the last person who voted. "You're the reason I ended up voting to stay. It's true. After the first game, I thought I was going to quit. And then I saw you, and I thought, 'One more game. Then I can go.'"

You freeze. Hadn't you thought nearly the same thing? Your mind buzzes, looking at the side profile of 001. He's older than you, like most of the people here, and you get struck by the feeling that you're too young to have ended up in a place like this. But if it wasn't you, maybe that recruiter would have found your father.

Maybe that was his initial plan, until your dad ended up in the hospital.

They're talking about the next game, how 456 played something called Honeycomb last time. The players in the crowd around the previous champion murmur in excitement at having a better chance in the next game. "It probably won't be the same game," you say quietly, almost to yourself. But everyone around you grows quiet, looking at you. You glance from 001 to 456, realizing everyone is waiting for you to continue. You clear your throat. "There's plenty of children's games, are there not? I'm sure they change it every time. They probably only keep Red Light, Green Light because it's easy, universal. It's the perfect way to introduce the true nature of these games. But everything else is probably different."

There's a murmur of agreement, but your eyes stay on 456. There's a hardness to his expression that doesn't match the deep smile lines that have formed over his life. He doesn't look surprised by the idea you'd presented. He must think the same thing, himself.

"You're American, aren't you?" 001 asks, drawing your eyes to him. Something about his gaze is intense, pinning you in place. You swallow, nodding, your spine straightening on instinct. You've been in South Korea for long enough to know their customs, and you know that those older than you are due a certain amount of respect. It's better to overdo it than do too little.

"That's right, sir. I'm here on a student visa," you say, ducking your head slightly, then meet his eyes again. His expression doesn't change, but somehow, you feel like he's looking at you differently. Sharper, somehow. Like he's taking you apart, piece by piece.

What the hell?

In-ho's quiet, for a long moment, but it's not because he has nothing to say. He has too much he wants to say - that you're too young to be in a place like this, that you must be at a disadvantage in this series of Korean children's games, that you're sharp in guessing that the next game will be different. He designed these games, he knows you're right. None of that should matter to him. He's here on a mission, to challenge Gi-hun at every turn, make him rethink his view of the world. Player 132 - he's sure if he thought long enough, he would remember your name, although he'd long since stopped memorizing every name in the files of players that cross his desk. But your eyes hold his in a way that tugs at him, makes him feel something different. He hasn't felt something new in years, not since his wife passed while he was in the games.

"You have a good point," he says with a slight nod. "Still, I hope you're wrong. It'd be nice, to have an advantage."

He finally breaks your gaze, and it feels like your insides have all been flipped around and turned over, like he'd looked over everything that makes you you. You look at the ground as he continues talking to 456. Eventually, the other players disperse, disappointed by what 456 had to say. You linger, though, leaning against the pole of a nearby bunk bed.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question? Why are you here? Why'd you come back again? You said you won the game, made it out. And that would mean you won 45.6 billion won. Did you spend all of it already?" 001 asks, eyes searching 456's expression.

"Did you start betting again?" 456's friend, 390, pipes up.

"That money doesn't belong to me. The ones who died in this place, that's their blood money. And the same goes for everything in there now," 456 says, his expression intense, like he's lived through years and years of this torture instead of 6 days. But that's what PTSD is, isn't it? The trauma persists past the actual event.

You frown, crossing your arms. That's a horrible way to think about it. Those people are already dead, aren't they? It's worse to not spend the money, after all that blood was spilled for it.

"What point is there in thinking about it like that?" 001 points out, surprising you again. "After all, it's not like you killed anyone yourself. And that way of thinking won't help bring any of them back to life."

"If you don't use that money, make a better life for yourself, it's a dishonor to their memory," you say quietly. "It's like they died for nothing."

456 stares at you like he's just been slapped. But 001... he looks at you with a hint of approval, and something else. Something like interest... or fascination. "If even one of you two had pressed 'O' like I told you to, we all could've left here alive!" 456 says harshly, a pot boiling over. "You could've saved everybody!"

"True. I was the last player to press 'O,'" 001 says quietly, drawing 456's attention and ire. "It wasn't just me, though. There's 182 other people who wanted to stay here."

"Yeah, and 182 more of them who wanted to get the hell out of this place!" 456 shoots back.

"If I hadn't pressed 'O'… If I'd hit 'X' and we'd all gone home, you think they'd appreciate what I'd done? If one of these people ran into me, years from now, do you think they'd say they were happy I voted to go? That they ended up with a great life after all?" 456 falls silent, watching him like he's remembering something.

Silently, you agree with 001. You're all here because you're in dire straits, and the winnings from the first game wouldn't have been enough to make a dent in most people's debt.

The conversation continues, and when Dae-ho approaches and introduces himself, you lay down on a nearby bed, lost in thought.

Time passes - you're not sure how much, with no clocks or sun to go by. The scenery of the large dormitories isn't appealing, and doesn't have anything you'd normally focus on to remind yourself of the little joys of life, so you resort to people-watching. The mother and her son, in quiet discussion, a small group talking and laughing about nothing in particular, the annoying guy with the purple hair...

You sit up, eyes going wide as you watch him throw a punch at the MG Coin guy. The scuffle goes on, and you get to your feet, having half a mind to step in and tell them to stop being idiots, but then player 001 is approaching them.

"Hey, kids. What makes you think you can behave like that? Especially while people are eating. And in front of your elders too. It's bad manners, not to mention it's two against one. Shame on you guys." Your eyes are glued to 001, the restrained power in his stance. You can't see his face, but you can picture it - that calm, cold expression, the intensity in his eyes. You know there's more to him than meets the eye, but you can't put a finger on it.

"You're in here just like everyone else. So cut the lecture… Grandad. How about instead of yip-yapping at me, you go back home to your own kids, you yell at them?" the purple-haired guy - Thanos, if you remember right - makes a talking hand gesture at 001, and you find yourself holding your breath.

"What did you say?" 001 replies coldly, but there's a hint of fire beneath it.

"I said, save the lecture for your own kids!" Thanos laughs, but is cut off by 001 putting a hand on the nape of his neck. "Hey, get your fuckin--"

He's cut off by a cry of pain as 001 does something with his grip that makes him fall to his knees. You watch as he takes down the two guys like it's nothing, barely breaking a sweat, and a cold chill runs down your spine even as you feel an electric tingle over your skin. Who is he? There it is again, that hint to something more, some large piece of the puzzle of his character that you're missing. It's compelling, but there's also a hint of danger. You make a mental note not to get on his bad side.

Your mind swirls as everything settles down again, and before it's time to turn the lights out, you walk over to 456, sitting down on a step next to him.

"You've really played these games before?" you ask after a moment of silence, glancing at him. You can feel the rift between you two, the 'O' on your chest and the 'X' on his. 456 is quiet for a moment, then nods. "Why would you come back, then? I know you said you didn't want to spend the money... so you don't need more. There must be a reason."

456 sighs. "These games change you. I can't imagine living a normal life, after everything I went through here... I tried. But I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't try to prevent these games from continuing."

It's your turn to fall silent. "Stopping the games doesn't change much, at the end of the day. Some of these people's debts are so bad that they've waived their bodily rights. At least here, they have a chance to try and pay it off, make an honest life for themselves," you say finally, your voice gentle.

456 looks back at you with a complicated expression. "I know. When I joined these games the first time, I'd done the very same thing."

You stare at him, eyes searching his face. There's traces of a happier man in the sorrow with which he holds himself. The smile lines, the crinkles by his eyes. Winning these games only made him miserable. They changed who he was. You can read it, plain as a book, the man he used to be. "Getting rid of these games doesn't change the way the world works. With that kind of money... the money you won, you could actually try to change things in the real world. So nobody would be desperate enough to end up in a place like this." You shrug. "But maybe that's impossible, too. I hope you do, though. Change things. That's a cause I can get behind."

You stare at each other, like you're coming to a quiet understanding. He nods a little, his lips still a permanent frown. You wonder what his smile used to look like, what his laugh sounded like.

You wonder if winning these games would turn you as miserable, as haunted, as he is now. "(Y/N)," you say quietly. He just blinks. "My name. I want to fight by your side. I think... remembering that we're human is an important step."

There's a flicker of something in his expression, and you can almost see the smile that haunts his face, the joy of a more innocent man. He nods softly. "Gi-hun," he replies, his shoulders loosening slightly. It's a start.

"Gi-hun," you reply, smiling at him. "Try to sleep tonight. We'll all need our strength tomorrow."

You leave the sad man to his ghosts and his thoughts, taking a bed on a higher level, feeling safer with some distance between you and the rest of the players. When the lights go out, you curl up under the thin blanket. There's enough people in the dormitory that it's not cold, but you're not exactly warm either. You manage to fall asleep, but it's light, restless, and you wake up after only an hour at most. You stare up at the ceiling, then turn on your side, counting the tiles on the wall. There's black shapes in the tiles that you can't entirely make out, images that are indecipherable with so many beds in the way.

There's the sound of shoes on metal behind you, and you turn on the bed, looking up to see player 001 standing above you. There's something in his eyes, almost like he'd just been... crying? It doesn't make sense, but neither does a lot of things about him.

"001," you say quietly, relaxing the shoulders you hadn't realized were tense. "Can't sleep?"

He hesitates, then takes a seat on the step by your head, clasping his hands. "Haven't tried, yet. I don't sleep well, anyways."

You nod, stretching your legs under the covers, and sit up, facing him. "Yeah. I fell asleep, but it didn't last. My dad always says I got my insomnia from him," you say with a small laugh. It feels weird, to laugh in a place like this, but it comes naturally to you. Trying to lighten the mood, to find little spots of light in the darkness. Fireflies in the night.

001 gives a small smile, a little crinkle of the eyes revealing that it's a genuine one. "Are you close with your father?" he asks, tilting his head. Curious. You hesitate, then shrug.

"Everyone growing up said I looked just like him. I used to have his attitude problem. Still do, sometimes," you say, brushing your hair behind both ears. "I moved here, to South Korea, with him. But... no, I'm not really close with him anymore." And yet, you came here for him - for his debts, to take care of his hospital bills. You'll always love him, despite the fact that his own actions sent you here, to this hell. He should be the one taking care of you, not the other way around. You can feel the injustice, the anger that secretly simmers under the surface, but you take a deep breath, smiling at him.

The man just stares at you, his often emotionless eyes studying you, like he wants to pick apart your mind. "And your mother?"

Emotion threatens to overtake you, a lump in your chest forming, and you swallow, looking away. It feels like a lot, to share with this relative stranger. It's been a few years since your mother passed, but it feels like longer. At the same time, it feels like she could call you at any moment. The silence grows, and he finally murmurs, "I see." You stare out at the room, feeling miles away. Relationships with parents is always complicated, and before she passed, it wasn't perfect between you two. But you'd do anything to have her back. "I only ask because... well. You're just so young. You really shouldn't be here."

You bristle, slightly, though you know he's right. "We all have our reasons," you mutter. You can't blame your father, entirely - although, if he hadn't acquired a pile of debt, he would be able to help you keep your student visa.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to strike a nerve," 001 says gently. "I'm worried, that's all."

You huff a breath, hands fidgeting to pop your fingers. "Thank you for your concern, sir, but I chose to be here, didn't I?" The 'O' on both of our chests is evidence of that.

"Young-il," he says after a beat. "You don't have to call me sir. We're all equals here." You finally look back at him, surprised that he offered up his name. Another piece to the puzzle. "I'm surprised you voted to stay. You're American, you probably won't know most of the games."

You smile humorlessly, shaking your head slightly. "They explain the rules for each one, don't they? And... well, I think I only need one more game to have enough. It won't cover everything, but... it'll get me far enough." You try to believe it. You don't know if you have the stomach to play more than one game. "I'm (Y/N). By the way." A sign of peace, a quiet alliance. Just like with Gi-hun earlier, it eases the air between you.

Another moment of quiet, the only sound the quiet breathing and snores of the hundreds of players in the room. "(Y/N)," he says softly, almost to himself. "Well, you have me, too. I'll help you, if there's a confusing one."

You eye him curiously, then smile, a warm, gentle thing. He doesn't take his eyes off of you, smiling back. Like Gi-hun, he looks like someone who hasn't smiled in years, but more like... he's forgotten how. It warms you to him.

"Thank you. Young-il," you say, reaching over to squeeze his arm. He looks taken aback, surprised, but his smile deepens, settling somewhere in his irises.

You take your hand back, fidgeting with the blanket. "So... what do you do for fun? When you're not playing children's games," you say, a hint of humor in your tone as you try to keep the mood light.

It works - he gives a small chuckle, running a hand through his hair. "Me? I read... enjoy art. I feel like I don't have a lot of fun these days, though," he says, his tone almost contemplative. Like he hadn't even considered fun in a long time. "And what about you?"

You hum softly, fingers dancing in a pattern as they tap the bed beside you. "I like dancing, and music. I read a lot - fiction, mostly. I do enough learning in university." You list off a couple more things, the silly things you do to occupy your day. "If it's a bad day, I usually take a walk in the park. Try to remember the little things that fill the world with joy."

His expression grows warmer, almost soft with each thing you say. "That sounds lovely," he murmurs, his expression almost wistful. He's hard to read, his expression so detached when he's not smiling, but he seems almost open now. Almost. "And dancing, huh? I'll admit, I haven't danced in a long time. I was never any good at it." He gives a wry chuckle, but you grin, eyes twinkling.

"It's better when you're no good at it. Just as long as you don't let yourself get embarrassed. It's good, to move your body, to just feel." You wonder if you'll ever dance again like that - carefree, uncaring about what anyone thought. "I'm surprised, by the way, that you didn't say you take martial arts classes. That move you pulled earlier, with Thanos... it was impressive, skilled." Your tone is nonchalant, but you analyze him for any possible reaction. Wanting to understand him.

He doesn't give one. "I've taken some. For self-defense, mostly. But not really for fun. I know what you mean, about moving your body. That's what fighting was, for me. But it'd be nice to move in a less... restrained way."

It's an almost disarming answer, and it makes something in you soften. You almost offer to dance with him, when you get out of here, but then you remember that he must be a couple decades older than you. You smile though. "You should try it sometime."

You chat for a little longer, but you can feel a weariness settle inside you, now that you're more relaxed. Something about his company is comforting, familiar. It almost makes you forget where you are. It's only when you notice a matching exhaustion in his eyes that you say something.

"You need to get some rest," you say softly.

"So do you," he points out, eyes tracing over your face once before reaching your eyes again. "You only got a little bit."

You hesitate. You do feel tired again, but the moment you're alone, you know that racing thoughts will prevent you from succumbing to your body's needs. "Would you sit with me?" you blurt out, then feel embarrassed. But it's too late to take it back. "Just... until I fall asleep. It's easier, with someone else here."

You have no reason to trust In-ho so quickly. The bonds formed in these games are as concrete as they are breakable, he knows this. He can tell, already, how full of life you are, and he has to fight to keep the thought away - she shouldn't be here. You were right, everyone chose to be here, including you. You voted to stay. But something in him does care, as much as he doesn't want to. And, very quickly, he finds himself wanting to save you, keep you alive. Keep you by his side. Your request only fuels that ember inside him, stoking it, and soon a flame will be coaxed. He has had nothing to want to protect in so long, so many years, and it dismantles him. Makes him feel like the man he once was, the man he's pretending to be.

"Okay," Young-il says quietly, giving her a soft smile, scooting closer to her on the step he's sitting on. You lay down again, on your side, facing him. On impulse you reach out, placing a hand on his wrist. He hesitates, then rests his hand on the bed, letting you curl our hand around his jacketed wrist.

You ignore the strange feeling in your chest, letting your eyes slip shut, relaxing fully for the first time since you got here. "Thank you," you murmur, and you can already feel the fuzz of sleep creeping up on you. His hand slides into your hair, gently massaging your scalp, and it might be the best thing you've ever felt.

It doesn't take long. And this time, your rest is peaceful.

[xinganhao]

🍨 svt spoiling their partner.

★ prompt: how ot13 spoils their partner? 🥹🥹🥹 i am just a girl give me treats c/o @shinwonderful

ⓘ established relationship, pet names, fluff. headcanons under the cut. special thanks to @chugging-antiseptic-dye for helping! ♡

🍨 read more?

seungcheol 𖹭 planning dates. he will refuse to let you lift a finger for your day out. everything will be meticulously laid out, finetuned to be something that you'll enjoy. his goal is to lessen the mental load of decision-making and planning; he wants you to be able to focus solely on enjoying the surprise, and he'll break his back to make sure that happens.

jeonghan 𖹭 'parallel play'. even if the two of you might not be interested in the same things, that's okay. he's happiest to spend quality time with you at home, where the two of you are free to do your own thing within eachother's presence. just being in your vicinity already makes him content, and so he plans everything around the two of you getting to explore and share your respective hobbies.

shua 𖹭 acts of service. need help with your taxes? need someone to fill up your tank? he's already on it. he'll say that these are all 'little things', call it the bare minimum, when it's apparent that he makes it a conscious effort to make your day-to-day easier. his brand of spoiling you comes in the form of quietly doing things that will improve your quality of life.

junhui 𖹭 buying clothes you'll like. he can't help it, really. when he sees an article of clothing that he thinks suits your style? when he finds a local brand that shares your advoacy? he's already pulling out his wallet. he likes the idea of dressing you up. nothing makes him happier than knowing you're wearing an outfit that he entirely picked out for you.

soonyoung 𖹭 daily reasons why he loves you. people always joke that he has a bit of a motormouth, so why shouldn't he use it on talking about you, you, you? he's big on words of affirmation, on making sure you never doubt how he feels for you. he'll point out the little and big things that make him adore you, and it's never the same reason twice.

wonwoo 𖹭 indulging your interests. he may not always understand these trends— blind boxes, must-have fashion pieces, et cetera— but he'll never make you feel bad about it. if there's anything that you want, he's already doing everything within his power to get it. his greatest joy is seeing your face light up once he's gotten you your 'priority' item; it's why he keeps doing it in the first place.

jihoon 𖹭 trying new things for you. there's a long list of things that jihoon never thought he'd do, but then he started dating you. time and time again, he willingly goes out of his comfort zone to accompany you on the little adventures and experiences that you ask to go on. he does these things scared, does them anxious, does them begrudgingly,— does them all for you.

seokmin 𖹭 meals he thinks you'll like. he's the type to have dozens of tabs open for homemade recipes dot com. he knows he's an amateur at this, but he's undeterred in trying. whether it's a trending pastry on tiktok or the comfort meal that your mother makes you, he's determined to learn it so you're always eating well.

mingyu 𖹭 getting-to-know card games. he gives as good as he takes, which means mingyu's way is to listen and remember. a night where the two of you can just have deep conversations with no interruptions is his ideal evening. he will know he succeeded if the two of you end up talking until the sun rises, feeling like the hours haven't passed at all.

minghao 𖹭 postcards from tour stops. he loves art and he loves you. his postcards are pocket-sized reminders of those facts, always packaged with a few choice words that are sweet and sincere. his trinkets are very "i-got-you-this-because-it-reminded-me-of-you" in nature, and you know each one was purchased with you at the front of mind.

seungkwan 𖹭 getting you your favorites. he figures he should put his industry connections to use somehow. he's always amused by how happy you get over a rare photocard, signed album, or concert tickets, and so he keeps it up. buying dozens of albums, contacting other labels, bearing the arduous ticketing. your excitement at the end of it makes it all worth it.

vernon 𖹭 producing songs. he hadn't really pegged himself as the making-music-for-the-sake-of-it type until he met you. now, he revels in getting to send you a track that's for your ears only. all the lyrics just seems to flow naturally when it's you inspiring him, and so he sends you works-in-progress with reminders that you're the only intended audience.

chan 𖹭 at-home massages. he's all too familiar with the aches of an ailing body, so he knows exactly how and where to work on you. he always does what he calls 'the works'— a good bath, scented candles, essential oils. he lets you take your time, and he takes his time with you in helping you unwind.

› scroll through all my work ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ ᶻ 𝗓 ��� .ᐟ my masterlist | @xinganhao

[rinsanityy]

phainon is no stranger to being a gentleman. whenever the two of you are spending time with one another, he would always be the one to treat you whether it was to lunch or even shopping in the local market. you'll always find his hand pressed to the small of your back but while weaving through crowds, he's got his arm wrapped around your shoulder in order not to lose you in the mass of people. this man is willing to give you the royalty treatment simply because you deserve it. when phainon finds himself deep in his thoughts, you will always be lingering at the back of his mind, and he unconsciously smiles at the mere thought of you.

despite her heart that had long been frozen, aglaea does not fail in the romance department. if you find yourself in the heroes' bath, she will tend to whatever needs you may have and even accompany you during your stay. if she happens to find the time, she will use it wisely and sew a brand new garment just for you. she has already wrapped it up and will hold onto it until she sees you again. the warmth you give by simply being by her side is so unfamiliar yet it is enough to begin thawing her frosted heart.

for the crown prince of castrum kremnos, mydei isn't exactly known for having a kind nature. regardless of his intimidating appearance, it's quite obvious that the prince has grown to have a soft spot for you. if there is someone causing you trouble, mydei will appear by your side and he's already scared the person off with merely one sentence. sometimes the two of you would engage in playful banter, countering the other’s teasing remark with another. mydei will never succumb to fatigue in the midst of battle for he always reminds himself that you are waiting for him on the other side.

being the first chrysos heir to obtain a titan's coreflame and ascend to that of a demi-god, tribbie finds themselves to be somewhat of a mentor figure towards the others. if they ever find out that you're not feeling well, they will make sure to remind you to always take care of yourself. they are always happy to educate you about various topics as they take joy in being able to talk for hours and having someone listening to them intently. it is only natural for the teacher to worry about their student’s well being, how else will they be able to continue guiding you if you’re not in a stable condition to be guided?

she may have no experience whatsoever about romance but that doesn't mean castorice refuses to try and learn. she takes interest in the things that bring you joy and will remember the smallest and most random things about yourself. although her power restricts herself from making any physical contact with you, castorice makes sure to keep you safe and free from harm's way. each passing moment that she spends with you, castorice cherishes each and every one all the same. the servant of death is no stranger to the inevitable fate that awaits you but she cannot even bring herself to think about that when you were so intertwined in the present.

a genius and a charmer basically sums up the kind of person that anaxa is. he is always amused to see you fascinated whenever he displays the unique magic that he holds. similar to tribbie, he is fond of teaching you things without making you feel dumb. he dislikes whenever you downplay your intelligence and assures you that you're talented and intellectually capable in your own way. anaxa is a firm believer that every little part of your being is fascinating, it makes him inclined to continue finding out more about who you are.

hyacine always finds herself pleased to see how well you respond to her affection. although a little shy at first, she is willing to try different things with you. after a tiring day, hyacine simply wants to lay down on a sturdy branch of a big tree with you beside her, watching the birds soar through the sky while the suns fall and stars rise. the priest does not know what future lies in store but what she does know is that one day, when you two have passed on, you will take to the skies beside one another and soar to the stars.. just like the birds the two of you have watched do all the time.

just like how she has a talent for swiping people's valuables, cipher sure has a talent for stealing your heart. seeing as you're already aware of her skill of sleight, you find yourself wondering which poor citizen she swiped whenever you receive a gift from her. although a thief should never linger too long around their target, cipher cannot refuse any request of physical touch from you. you don’t expect much out of the aftermath of a bad day, at least not until a certain thief shows up at your doorstep and greets you with a flower or two that had been swiped from one of the largest flower fields that amphoreus has to offer.

note: written before version 3.1 therefore some if not most characters are ooc. tribbie’s scenario is purely platonic, otherwise the rest of them can be intepreted as romantic or platonic.

©rinsanityy 2025 do not plagiarize or repost my content.

[blood-smiles]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐒 !!

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄! 𝐍𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐗 𝐅𝐄𝐌! 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 — MDNI!! NSFW!! reader uses she/her pronouns . FREAKY SHIT IN THIS WHOLE ONESHOT . semen in food . feminization of yandere. yandere refers to himself as ‘mommy’ at times . YANDERE . defo more freaky shit . unedited!!

𝓨𝓞𝓤 coughed, feeling your frame shake and lungs clench with pain from your own cough. You stared out the window, a white dove perched on the window sill, staring at you curiously as if you were some new specimen.

You followed its movements, tilting your head at it as it analyzed you with wonder in its black beady eyes.

A warm giggle came from your side, startling both you and the bird, one of you fled and the other stayed caged.

It was the damn crack of dawn and he was already here?

“Good morning, sugar plum~” he greeted you as if you were the sun itself, strolling a large computer with him, cables and devices plugged into the sides of the metallic box.

“Morning.” You dryly responded, your voice coming out groggy and parched. He gave you that genuine little smile only reserved for you, taking out a water bottle as if by magic and gently placing it on your bed.

“Drink lots of water, I might have to get some blood samples from you later.” He instructed, gently picking up your arm and hooking you to a pressure meter.

You blinked at him, frustration welling in your chest just at the sight of the medical devices. You were tired of being picked and prodded like a test subject, you just wanted a normal body and normal life.

The pink haired nurse noticed your dampened mood, his eyebrows furrowing at your distress. 

“..Don’t get all huffy now, there’s no need to get upset.” he murmured, his large hand coming to softly smooth your hair on your head in an attempt to cheer you up.

Suddenly he remembered something, his hand swiftly dug through his scrubs pockets, letting out a little breath as he opened his hand, revealing an item.

You gently retrieved the small looking item in his palm with extreme caution.

You eyed the cute silver necklace, a little plush bunny charm hanging in the center. You had to admit, it was pretty cute.

You almost forgot why you were upset— Almost.

“Come here, let me put it on you.” His hands rested on your shoulders now, long fingers massaging your sore muscles.

The rabbit necklace rested on your chest, your finger gently petting the small charm like it would nudge your finger back.

“Thank you, it’s very cute.” The corners of your mouth slightly lifting as you touched the velvety  texture of the rabbit.

Yuuto gently pinched your cheek, finding your slight show of joy endearing. The rabbit fell over your chest perfectly, like it was meant to be there. Now, he hoped you didn’t notice the microphone inside it.

He would be able to listen to your heartbeat everyday, his fingers began to tremble at just the thought of hearing your heartbeat everyday in the back while he goes on about his day.

You wondered what was on his mind, something so heavy that completely distracts him from the world.. must be something super important.

Yuuto was spacing out again, his breathing would get heavy, cheeks would turn a rosy shade and eyes would get cloudy, as if he was in deep thought of something that was far too intimate to say out loud.

You whistled, snapping in front of his face, trying to being him back to your timeline.

“Heyy?? Yoo-hoo??” You waved your hand in front of his face, he blinked various times, shaking his head as he descended from the clouds and came back to you.

“I’m sorry! I just have a lot of things on my mind!”— Like running to the bathroom to rub one out.

Well, he couldn’t say that. You would probably report him and demand to get a different appointed nurse.

“..It’s alright, I guess.” It’s really not, but everyone has their days, right?

“Although I’m like.. starving you know? I could literally eat you right now.”

Oh, please do. Yuuto thought, biting his lip subtly. The things he would do for just a taste of your warm, sweet mouth. He felt his dick twitch in his pants at the thought of you shoving your tongue down his throat.

“O-Oh! Yes! I’ll get your breakfast right away, (Y/N)!” He nodded in determination, unhooking you from the machines and tucking you back in your warm bed.

“Don’t move, ‘Kay?” He tutted, raising his index finger in a way a mother would to scold their child.

“Oh and—

He gently kissed your cheek, soft, wet lips pecking your skin.

“Mwah! Wub you!” He smushed your face before actually getting on his merry way to fetch you a bite.

You didn’t even react, this was his strange routine and there wasn’t much you could even do to prevent it either way.

…

Your nurse walked through the hospital calmly, without a worry in the world, doctors and other nurses avoided him like the plague, parting like the Red Sea when he approached. Eyeing him carefully like a herd of frightened lambs, as if a fox like him would strike at any moment.

He heard whispers from all sides, but as soon as he snapped his head and stared at one of the sources of sound, the voices would cease their comments.

He smiled again, not tenderly like he did for you— But menacing, threatening. A bone chilling smile with dark intentions, waging hundreds of wars behind those yellow eyes.

He hummed a soft lullaby as he locked himself in a supply closet with your breakfast, he knew that he had to work quickly, because you would definitely pout and get mad at him if he didn’t return soon.

He propped his phone on a random shelf, pressing the record button as he lowered his scrubs.

His lacy, white panties we’re drenched, his cock head beginning to peek out from over the pretty little bow at the top of the garment.

He let out a pant as he slowly lowered his underwear to the middle of his trembling thighs. A soft mewl escaped his throat as he thought of you ripping his panties with your teeth— Eager to devour him. 

His face heated up at just the thought of the cruel act he was about to commit. 

It wasn’t like he had never done this before, there had been way too many times.. But every time he did it, it felt like the first time.

His finger tip nudged the black piercing on his tip, he shuddered under his own touch, a pathetic whimper escaping his lips when he finally wrapped his hand around his shaft.

His dick weeped pre cum, the sticky substance traveling down his length at the speed of a snail. Yuuto couldn’t stop himself as he began to rub himself like a man on a mission, his eyes felt like rolling into the back of his skull from the sheer whiplash he was getting.

He might have lost the last bit of control over his mind and body when he carefully introduced a nail into his urethra, one of his hands flying up to cover his mouth, barely muffling the slutty pleas coming from his lips.

“Aaahn..hggh—(Y/N)! I—I— Can’t help— I..ighhh!!” He cried for you, tears beginning to blur his vision as he felt the knot in his lower abdomen start to loosen.

His hand slowly moved from his mouth to his perky chest, his soft hand grabbing at his soft tissue. Fingers rubbing in circular motions against his nipples, the cold piercings beginning to warm from the friction.

Yuuto tried to hide himself in his own shoulder, his chin meeting his collar bone as his hands began to shake uncontrollably, he knew that he was getting closer to his orgasm.

He gasped as he squeezed his sensitive bud too hard, imagining his beautiful darling nibbling on his chest. 

His knees felt as if they were going to give up on him, his legs feeling like jelly when he thought of you sweetly calling him your mommy.

“F-Feel so go..good..~” he whined, plush thighs clamping together in pleasure.

He threw his head back, his mouth opening in a silent moan. He raised his hand, fumbling to grasp at the cup that came with your food, then shooting his cum inside a plastic cup, heaving as he raised the cup to his eye sight.

The thick, white liquid sluggishly moved down the walls of the plastic container. He remembered the camera was still filming, turning his body to the phone and presenting the plastic cup like a prize.

“.. Mama made you something with so much looove..” he laughed breathlessly, tipping the cup and swishing the cum around.

He looked at how long he had been filming, five minutes. He had to get back now, he didn’t want you getting all cranky.

He made haste of pouring his fluids in your food, especially in your favorite part of the dish, basically forcing you to consume his ‘nutrients’.

He was close to your room anyway, he knew the food was still warm, meaning that he was still in time.

You sat on your bed, staring at the door with impatience.

“Any minute now..” you said to no one but yourself, stretching your ankles as you started a countdown in your head.

Three..

Two ..

One.

The door opened, your nurse standing with a tray of food. You looked down at it in curiosity, hoping it was your preferred hospital food— The pancake special..

Your heart jumped at the sight of the flat cakes, looking at your breakfast like it was your salvation.

Yuuto sat by your bed, staying to watch you eat rather than go away and actually do his job somewhere else.

His elbows dug into your bed, head nestled in one of his hands as he watched you eat fondly. Now he knew you would actually get all your vitamins and supplements, you needed to get strong and healthy after all.

You bit into the pancake, regretting it immediately. Wow, your hospital’s food really fucking sucks.

It was spongy and soft but.. unsavory— Someone had definitely dumped too much salt on the recipe.

You coughed a little, your taste buds rejecting the salt in the pancake. You closed your eyes, scrunching your nose as you forced the food down your throat.

“Oh! I forgot to give you the syrup.” Yuuto hummed, digging up a syrup packet from his scrubs— What’s the deal with that? Does he store everything in there?

You gratefully accepted the syrup and dumped the sugar over the pancakes, you soon found out it was just the surface that was salty and sticky.

It was as if someone had poured something on top, because it didn’t bleed to the bottom of the bread.

Did someone tamper with your food?

You gazed at the only person closest to you, could it have been him?.. possibly.

He wouldn’t poison you though, is this a prank? He was way too smiley—You shut down that theory, he was always smiley with you.

..weird.

You finished your food, leaving it up to Yuuto to take your used utensils and empty tray away. 

“Did you eat the last crumb?” He raised an eyebrow, that helicopter parent tendency of his switching on.

You nodded, licking off the syrup on your fork. The man with pink hair seemed convinced enough as he glanced down at your plate.

“Good girl~” He praised with a high pitched baby voice, dabbing the sticky substances off your mouth with a napkin, pretending to not hear your protests that you could wipe your face on your own.

“I’ll see you later, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, alright?” He looked at you expectantly until you nodded with a meek ‘okay..’

The door closed with a soft click behind him.

He tried to hide the beads of sweat forming on his skin, his smile faltering with lust as he walked away, promising to be back later.

He moaned softly as his tongue wrapped around your used fork, he could feel the wetness of your saliva on the metal.

He tried not to make a big fuss as he was still trying to give back the objects to the kitchen. He worked quickly, pink muscle lapping up what was left of your spit.

He took the fork out of his mouth, a long web of his own saliva connecting him to the item. He wiped his mouth, trying to pretend that he didn’t just make out with a fork.

He delivered the tray like nothing happened and went back to roam near your room, knowing you probably wanted some alone time.

He could go take a quick smoke break while you washed up! He began to skip off in happiness only to be stopped by a girl.

“Excuse me— Do you.. Do you know where (Y/N) (L/N)’s room is?” Yuuto looked down at her hands, delicately holding a bouquet full of flowers and treats.

He narrowed his eyes at the girl, his smile turning into a grimace. What business did she have with you? He thought that your family was long gone by now.

“The hospital isn’t accepting any visitors.” He answered sharply, with eyes dull and full of envy.

“I-I thought these were visiting hours—“

“She doesn’t want to see you.” He cut her off, fists tightening, knuckles turning bone white as he tried not to wring his hands around her dainty little neck and snap it like pasta.

“Leave before I call security.” He warned, eye twitching, a silent threat as the girl jumped in her shoes, face turning pale as she turned to leave immediately.

A sardonic grin broke out over his face, a content feeling swarming in his chest— He had defended his darling without having to make someone dissapear!! Yay to not smelling like bleach!

He fiddled with his lighter in his pocket, disappearing into the rooftop of the hospital.

The day faded away like morning mist, the sun dipping into the horizon and the moon rising, the white light of it shining down on you.

It was bedtime, you thought.

Your eyes had begun to lid, eyelids feeling as if they were super glued to your retina. Your mind beginning to fog with the grogginess of unconsciousness as your phone fell from your hands and gently thudded on your covers.

You cocooned yourself in blankets, limbs tucking themselves closer to your body as you soon relaxed, breathing evening out as your facial muscles loosened into a peaceful look.

Yuuto exhaled shakily, opening your room door with utmost care, doing his hardest to not rouse you from your sweet dreams.

Ohmygod!mydarlinglookssodamnadorable!! My heart— My heart is going to burst!! Waaa~! What do I do?! What do I do?! I just..just want to sleep right next to them!! Trap their little body in my arms and never ever let them go!! I love you. I love you! I love you so much!!

He quietly took steps closer to your bed, leaning over you to analyze your pretty face. He noticed that you still wore the gift he gave you earlier, meaning that he could still listen to your heartbeat.

He bit the tip of his thumb, almost drawing blood from his finger as his canines dipped into his flesh. His chest felt like it was caving in on itself, he wanted to pounce on you so bad and squeeze the daylights out of you!

He held his hands to his face, fingernails digging into his temples as he took a step back, only the gods knew what he would do if he could get closer. 

The bathroom door opened, a small elongated object clattering on the tiles, rolling to a stop before him.

Y..Your toothbrush!! 

He almost squealed in delight as he bent down to pick it up, finger pads running through the still wet brush fibers.

You had used it! You had put it in your delicious mouth a few minutes ago!

He looked over his shoulder at your still snoozing form, fingers tightening around the toothbrush as you shifted in place.

It wasn’t too late to retreat— Maybe you wouldn’t notice he had been outside your room for hours before sneaking in to shamelessly ogle at you.

..the thing was.. he didn’t even care anymore. So what if he got caught? He wanted you to see how bad he needed you— How deep his love really ran for you.

He entered your bathroom, putting an earbud in, the wire connected to his phone, where he had been monitoring obsessively the spikes of your beats.

His heart picked up its pace, beating in his chest so hard that he could barely hear anything but the melodic sounds coming from his earbuds.

He pulled his pants down, cracking the door of the bathroom open to have the slightest view of you from the bathroom.

He was on his knees, leaning forward to zero in on you as he brought your brush to his mouth, sucking on the handle where your fingers had been.

He lubricated the handle well, eventually pulling it out of his mouth to slowly push it into his hole, he bit his tongue in an attempt to keep quiet as he saw you squirm.

He felt his teeth grind against each other as the tip of the toothbrush carved itself against his walls, his expression changing into one of determination, scarily serious as he worked the plastic into his rectum.

He felt the scarred tissue over his womb begin to warm up, skin pulsing in a painful but pleasurable way.

Your initials burned, scalding hot as it developed its own heartbeat.

He didn’t know when he fell so deeply in love with you, it was as if he blinked and he was already hiding bodies and praying to a shrine with your photos.

He didn’t know when he had began to watch you sleep, to write crude love letters that would never see the light of day, to kiss your lips while you were knocked unconscious from medicine.

He wanted to feel bad, to chastise himself for being such a disgusting waste of oxygen towards you. But even after he had bleached the floors of his basement and washed the blood off his hair— He never felt bad. Not once did a pang of guilt or regret flash in his cold heart.

He got a twisted joy out of it. Peacefulness after squashing another leech under the butt of his shoe in the name of love.

He was happy knowing you were safe, safe from harm and suffering at the hands of undeserving people. People who didn’t know how to care for you, who didn’t know the exact intervals between your heartbeats, who didn’t have the slightest bit of idea of how to love you.

He knew all there was to know about you, if someone were to slice his heart down the middle and looked inside it, they would only find the carvings of your name, your face, your smile, your laugh in the four chambers of his heart.

His insides stung as he brutally pulled the handle of the item in and out of him, drool seeped from the corners of his mouth, warm saliva dribbling down his neck and he didn’t even notice it.

He didn’t even care that he was making a mess on your floor, he choked on his breath as he felt the handle stab him inside, his eyes darting up to see if you had woken up.

He sped up with his thrusts, wet squelching sounds bounced off the not so sterile walls, reaching all the way to you, in bed.

“M—hm~”

Not even he was able to keep quiet, his back arched as he began to abuse that sweet spot nestled between his sticky walls. his body was slumping against the cold floor, limbs burning with the need of release.

“Ouuhhh— ‘mcumming! Pleasepleasepleasedarling!! Let mama cum! Ju-Just once..mnghh!”

His nails raked a bloody scratch down his chest, warm red bubbling up from the cut and dripping down his torso.

His stomach felt light, guts churning in ecstasy at the stimulation. Stars mingles in Yuuto’s vision, he couldn’t stop himself anymore.

Scalding hot cum spurted from his dick in thick webs, painting his abdomen and part of his chest, the sperm mingling with the blood in a disgusting mix.

“Aaaah! I—I luhh—Love you!!” He almost screamed out, the slightest twitching from your bed forcing him to quiet down.

He felt refreshed, air entered his lungs in greedy amounts, sweat ran down his face and gathered around his collarbones, he was still in awe.

It felt like butterflies were trapped in his brain, he never thought trying to masturbate right next to you would feel so.. exhilarating.

The orgasm was so good that an angel materialized itself in front of him, one that dressed in your scent like perfume and wore your face, as if it was you.

It took him a solid second to realize that it was no angel, but actually you. His cherished patient and soon to be girlfriend and soon more.

You looked sleepy, half awake and utterly confused. Asking yourself internally if this was real and not a dream.

“Y..Yuuto? What are you.. doing?” You asked, face flushing in embarrassment but not looking away for a second, almost seeming like you were enjoying his ruined state.

Yuuto just closed his eyes and smiled. Crawling towards you, hand holding you still as he hugged your leg with both his sweaty arms, accidentally staining your pants with semen and blood.

You blinked once, then twice. Realization slipping through your synapses, sluggishly making a connection.

..Your nurse was fucking crazy. 

And you were into it.

this one is for @momottarou !! Sorry I took a while making it!! I truly was like brain empty.. HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!! ♡⸜(ˆᗜˆ˵ )⸝♡

[brittle-doughie]

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

As you were laid in your cozy seat, the two Cookie loomed over you by the sides, working together to keep you and your hands pinned down. Their hands holding yours tightly as they looked down at you, warm and loving intent dripping with sinister vibes.

Despite it all, you were not feeling happy.

You were afraid. Afraid of them.

You plead for them to let you go, you promise you’ll love them too. They don’t have to do this…

“It’s okay, Y/N Cookie. I am here with you! There is still something holding you back and when it’s done, it can finally be just you and me! This is what you want, no?”

“Not like this!”

“Ssssh. Please don’t be upset, my heavenly. I do believe that you love us both, but for your heart to be set free, I need to find the root of your pain and get rid of it.”

Eternal Sugar raises her other hand, her soul jam shining brightly in the sunlight, and drives away into your chest. You felt fuzzy and numb, sluggish in your reactions as you feel her hand tugging at something.

Chains. Spiritual chains that wrapped around your heart as Sugar grabbed and pulled at them. You shake your head and ask her to stop, you promised again that you’ll love her and Hollyberry to the fullest extent.

“And I believe you, my heavenly. But that long ago love of yours is still having a hold on your heart! Look at these chains preventing it from flying free, they put these on you to make sure you cannot love another, did they?”

That wasn’t true. You still loved your lost partner, even after all these years! You didn’t want to let them go just yet, not like this!

“Decades, centuries, millennia. Yet it took only a few years for that Cookie to engrain themself into your heart. They cannot love you anymore, Y/N Cookie. Not like we could. We can be happy here, just you and me…”

“And with me, Y/N Cookie. I have always placed your happiness and safety first. Now I want to heal you from the inside, won’t you give me that chance?”

“They would’ve wanted you to move on…”

For a moment, those chains faltered. Hiding her widening smile, Eternal Sugar pulled at the chains as they loosened. You wanted to look, but Hollyberry kept you focused on her.

“You remember our times together, right? The drinks we had with each other? You’re one of the few that could keep up with me, haha! When you tried to protect me from the Red Dragon? I have never forgotten that day.”

“Heh, yeah. I did try that, didn’t I? Even if it didn’t work…”

“But what mattered was that your love was what made you do it, no matter the odds. Everything stacked against you, yet it was for the good of your fellow Cookies and…your care for me that drove you to do it. It meant a lot to me and I want to mean a lot to you too…”

“That really happened?! My heavenly, you’re so brave!”

“I had to try. For her…”

The chains loosened enough for Eternal Sugar to make one final pull for them to SNAP as they dispersed into nothing.

You heard…screaming? Just for a moment though as Hollyberry joins Eternal Sugar in gently cupping your heart.

“It’s…beautiful, my heavenly.”

“Is it meant to be this warm?”

“It’s full of untapped love, ready to be given to the Cookie my heavenly adores the most. Which will be me and you…”

“Y/N Cookie, how do you feel?”

Your fear was gone. Instead, you….smiled with tears.

“I feel…happy.”

Seeing you like that, Hollyberry couldn’t hold back either as she laughed with you. Scooping you up in a tight hug as she spun around with you.

“Hollyberry Cookie, don’t forget to let me have a moment too!”

Hollyberry sets you down as Eternal Sugar held you tightly, her wings fluttering as she savored this moment. Your heart was beating madly like a symphony that brought joy to her (nonexistent) ears.

“I love you, my heavenly. Always.”

“As do I, Y/N Cookie. Let us make memories here forevermore…”

You looked at the two of them, being able to smile lovingly for the first time in…forever actually! You forgot how good it felt!

“I love you both too….”

…

…

…

Yet, somewhere out there, a soul is left in turmoil…

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Since you’re writing for Poppy Playtime again, may I request a sequel to the Janitor who is still at Playtime Co? The toys aren’t sure if they’re a ghost or just really good at hiding.

Oh I remember that one! Glad you do too ^^

Here's the first part for anyone curious

.........

Catnap

You were a survivor of the Hour of Joy...or so he thought.

A lone janitor? Working and listening to music throughout the slaughter?

It sounded impossible.

But after all the toys dragged the corpses down below to be eaten, you were still cleaning their blood off the steps 10 years later, somehow not feeling as terrified as any normal person would be.

Despite his best efforts, Catnap could never capture you.

Just when he's finally ready to pounce or thinks he has you cornered--you vanish before his very eyes, almost as if you were a ghost.

Yet you wear a gas mask through the clouds of red smoke, so...you must need it.

Therefore you must be a human who was really good at finding hiding spots he wasn't aware of.

But you can't hide forever.

Your luck will surely run out soon...right?

Dogday

The Playhouse had turned into a torture chamber for nonviolent toys and anyone who went against the Prototype's will according to Catnap.

That being said...why would you enter this place willingly? Why would you keep doing your job despite the horrors those two have orchestrated?

Surely one of them would've caught you by now...

But from within his cell, he catches glimpses of you cleaning the blood off the playstructures, or removing the corpse of a feral Mini Critter from his sight.

He tries calling out to you, but you never seem to hear him...

Maybe all the trauma and blood loss is making him hallucinate?

Or maybe it's the red smoke. Who knows?

He's not so sure anymore, and he doesn't count on you being able to help him.

Pianosaurus

Cleaning his enclosure was no small feat.

Sure, he wasn't a massive Bigger Body, but his hunger was about as great as theirs.

And he only sees you, the janitor, as a snack leaving themselves wide open.

His piano teeth have been malfunctioning, causing a tune to go off every once in a while.

That gives you an advantage, as it allows you to figure out where he is in proximity to you--even in total darkness.

After the Hour of Joy, Pianosaurus returns to his enclosure, finding you cleaning somebody's carcass so calmly.

Yet when he charges....you suddenly vanish, and he rams headfirst into a wall.

Since then, he hasn't been able to find you anywhere. But under Harley's orders, he stays put in that same place for years.

He can wait. He's a patient hunter.

Unfortunately for him, he'd never find you--yet you were there to witness his demise at the hands of Doey when another employee fell into his enclosure.

While you pitied him, it was best that his suffering ended.

Doey

He didn't partake in the killings (at least none that he could recall), but he's shocked to find you alive, cleaning blood off of a machine he was inspecting.

But how did a janitor get this far down into the facility without proper clearance?

"Hey, buddy! Are you......huh??? Where did you go????" In the blink of an eye, you're gone.

He hears footsteps, but doesn't find you when he tries following their sound.

Did you go down some secret path he wasn't aware of?

He keeps catching glimpses of you in No Man's land, as well as in the caverns around Safe Haven.

Despite his best efforts, he could never quite catch up to you, even with his doughy abilities and dozens of shortcuts.

But somehow, throughout the years, you've been finding Mini Critters and Huggies/Kissies to bring to him, and they all claim that you've spoken to them and cleaned their wounds.

Yet for some reason...you either couldn't or wouldn't visit Safe Haven yourself.

He understands why, but...he just wanted to thank you for helping innocent toys find safety here.

[dwaekkicidal]

"Heats" with Bunny!Lee Know

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ summary: Day 2 of my Bboki-Dwae collab with @bbokicidal <3

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ word count: ~900

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ warnings: gn!reader but theres pregnancy mentions in the last two quotes at the very very end of this post, constant mentions of breeding, 1 mention of a spank, overstimulation, some cum talk, using another person's clothes+scent to get off, this last one is marked with "⚠" but 1 mention of being forced down with a foot on ur head lol

DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!

❥ Has no real heat cycle, at least not an obvious one, since male rabbits are always ready to breed year-round.

❥ That being said, he will be very obsessive about breeding you from the very beginning of the year, usually February or March, all the way to September. You both quickly come to learn that it is because of rabbit's mating season! Which explains why he's constantly insatiable during this time frame and will usually want to go multiple rounds a day, every single day if you'll allow it.

❥ He cums super fast sometimes, so oral is not an option in his mind. He will taste you at least 3 times a day and he'll dig his nails into your thighs if you start trying to squirm away from overstimulation.

❥ Once he's got his fill and he's sure you've enjoyed yourself, he’s wasting no time to flip you onto your hands and knees. It’s his favorite position!! something something "Best for me to breed you thoroughly"

❥ He’s gonna keep your hole nice and stuffed while he roughs you around for as many rounds as he deems sufficient enough for his seed to take. (Spoiler: it's NEVER enough for him)

❥ And if he’s that deep in, that he’s giving in to his more 'primal' side, then you will be at it for hours before his mushy little brain pushes past the chants of “breed. breed. breed.” and remembers that you’re, in fact, a human and need a second to breathe.

❥ He quite literally does not care if you physically can not get pregnant... You not having the means to get pregnant or simply being on birth control will never stop him from talking or thinking about breeding you. If anything, he finds it even hotter because his minds convinces him that "If we try hard enough.."

❥ You don’t need lube when he has almost disgusting amounts of precum/cum leaking from his tip <3 So much so that you now have a towel drawer in your nightstand

❥ Much to his human side’s dismay, and to his rabbit side’s joy, he will cum buckets every 2nd time. Meaning that once that second round of the day is hitting, prepare to literally overflow due to the sheer amount of cum his heavy balls will pump into you.

❥ Oh, and don’t even think about letting any of it go to waste. The second a singular drop of his cum falls past the midpoint of your thigh, he is racing to shove it back inside where it belongs.

❥ Depending on how deep into this “headspace” he is he might even growl, which always comes out as a huff, and land a warning slap to your ass cheek. Loves to combine it with some crude comment (like the very first quote at the end of this post)

❥ If he’s reaally really into it he will mount you as best as he physically can: If you’re in a position similar to missionary, you’re getting shoved into a mating press and held in place. Or if you’re in a position similar to doggy style, you’re getting shoved flat into the sheets so he can straddle the backs of your thighs and spread your cheeks while he watches himself fuck into your tight hole <3

⚠ You didn't hear this from me but if he's particularly insatiable & has lost himself to his instincts, he may or may not hold you down with his foot on the back of your head while you're in downward doggy. This is so he can force you to sit still and fuck your brains out so that you stay pliant for him until he's ready to take a break <3 In this position, he fucks you soo much more aggressively/rougher than ever before so prepare to not be able to walk for a bit hehe

Now, let’s say he goes through one of these “mating season” fits while you’re nowhere near. Maybe in another country or state for whatever reason and there’s no possibility that you and him can reunite anytime soon.

❥ He WILL try to breed hump everything that smells like you. From using your towel(s) to tug one out all the way to humping your favorite spot on the couch until his dick is raw.

❥ This also means he will throw one of your clothes (cough 90% of the time is your worn underwear cough) onto a pillow and will rub his cock against it until he dirties it even more.

❥ But, he is a good boy. So he won’t be gross and leave his cum to seep into your clothes until you come home. He’ll be good and thoroughly clean whatever he lost his mind on and definitely will get horny again in the process

❥ You let him think he’s gotten away with it, but in reality? He cums so much that some stains just don’t go away…

Well... that and you leaving a semi-filled laundry basket just to come home to an empty basket and suspiciously clean clothes always gives him away.

“Tell this ungrateful, little hole to take what it's given and stop wasting.”

“Jagi- Fuck. Jagiya, stop wiggling so much. The deeper I am, the better I can breed you.”

"I need to cum- God, please, baby- you haveta' take it all. You owe me for being so fucking tight and wasting all my cum."

“If you keep spilling, I’ll have no choice but to fuck another couple of loads into you, Honey.”

"You're gonna be so fucking sexy, all nice and round with my kits in your tummy. Yeah? Right fucking here." As he puts his palm on your lower stomach 🥴

"Yeah? You're gonna give me a litter? Gonna have our babies runnin' around my parent's house while I stuff you full with even more of them."

Taglist:

@valkyriexo @lunearta @jabmastersupriseee @rylea08

@yaorzu-blog @amararosesblog @jiminssluttyminx @clemissleepy

@miss-daisy04 @kittyxnoa @dwaekkiiracha @bubblerizz

@mariteez

[tee-dohrnii]

Oh, I cried a lot, actually

Remembrance

Summary: In Waterdeep, Tav journeys through grief and loss, with Gale by her side.

(Featuring fighter and Harper Tav, Professor Dekarios, and Jaheira.)

Word count: 4.9k

AO3 link

Disclaimers: Non-18+. Angst (with resolution). Grief/bereavement.

A/N: This fic is dedicated to @tee-dohrnii, who wanted to read about Gale comforting a Tav who has experienced grief and loss. I hope that anyone who resonates with this journey finds comfort, hope and healing through this fic.

Thank you again to @inglorionamy-ammy for being a fantastic beta-reader.

**********

She would roll her eyes. That was Charis’ usual response, when you were halfway through a diatribe about your uncle’s ineptitude as a parent, or the way the roads were more perilous than they used to be, or how she had always been stubborn to a fault.

But the last time you saw her, Charis had thrown her head back and said instead, “You always do this.”

“Do what?” you retorted, irritated by her interruption.

Her bright eyes crinkled slightly, her voice softening.

“You forget. You look back at something, and you just see one part of it. You forget the rest of it. You forget to remember.”

You had stared at her, backfooted by her sudden seriousness. Her unexpected insight embarrassed you. You waved her away.

But this is what you remember now.

****

“You’ll be pleased to know that all is in order for the funeral, my Lady. There’s only one matter left, on which we’d be grateful for your direction.”

You stare at the cleric. There is a languid deliberation, a cloying softness, in his words and movements, common to all the clerics of Lathander in this temple. It irks you, how they speak as though life were a slumbering companion to tiptoe around, rather than a crushing flood leaving nothing but rubble in its wake.

Beside you, Gale clasps your hand. Your other hand is a balled fist. You gaze at the blanching of your knuckles.

“What do you need from me?” you hear yourself say.

The cleric hums as he thumbs through a crusty tome, his gnarled fingers scratching at the pages. With a practised smile, he holds the words out to you.

“We would like you to choose a reading on Charis’ behalf, to commence and conclude the ceremony. There are five potential passages.” He indicates each one painstakingly. “Please let us know which one your sister would have preferred.”

You stare blankly at the writing as it swirls and congeals into a mass of meaningless blots. You stare and stare, until you can stare no longer, until you are no longer sure what you are staring at. Gale’s hold on your hand tightens.

“Brother Walter,” he says. “Perhaps you can leave the passages with us, so that Tav can have a moment to consider them?”

The cleric nods, an impression of patience, understanding. “Of course. Take all the time you need.”

He lays the tome on the table between you and rises. As you watch his stooped and receding back, a bolt of bile surges within you.

“Shouldn’t you know?”

Brother Walter stops, glancing back. “Pardon?”

You stand. Haltingly, Gale follows suit. His fingers remain intertwined in yours, as if he is afraid to let you go.

“Charis came here every week,” you say. “For daily prayers, services, all the rest of it. She believed,” you jerk your hands around you, “in all of this. She spent time here with you all. She thought it was something worth doing.” 

Brother Walter’s pale eyes widen. You can tell he is unaccustomed to scathing displays of disgust. You imagine him shuffling about the temple placidly, padding out his existence with pointless prayers to his indifferent god. All at once, this is the most offensive, despicable thing you have ever imagined.

“She was one of your faithful. You knew her. Shouldn’t you know what nonsense she would prefer?”

Brother Walter looks down. Gale clears his throat. The building awkwardness only adds fuel to your fury.

“My Lady-”

“In fact, shouldn’t the Morninglord know?” you spit out. “He loves his faithful, right? Is that why he claimed Charis when she was barely twenty five, at the prime of her life? She must have been incredibly highly favoured by the Dawnbringer. What a blessing.”

Brother Walter’s thin lips twitch. You welcome his indignation, his sanctimonious chiding. You are practically begging for it. You want to fight, to rage, to scream. You want to drown this temple in the sea of your grief.

But he says nothing. Instead, Gale drifts into your vision. His eyes quiver like soft earth, his frown stilling you for a moment. Your hand goes limp in his.

“My love,” he whispers.

Your breath spasms. You are a glacier, shattering against the shore.

“I don’t have a godsdamned clue what passage Charis would have wanted,” you choke. “Charis should be here. Not me.”

Gale turns towards Brother Walter. You do not know what passes between them, and you do not care. When he shuts the door behind him, you let Gale take you in his arms. With the steel of your rage, the bleeding void that gapes, you cannot reciprocate the tenderness of Gale’s embrace. But it does not deter him. He holds you for a long time.

“Aren’t you going to tell me off?” you ask eventually.

He draws back to look at you, brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear. When his skin grazes yours, you wonder whether he can feel the black ice beneath.

“Whatever for?”

“Disrespect and discourtesy. Blasphemy.”

His brow steeples, his lips parting in surprise. “No, Tav. No.”

He takes your hands and kisses them, so firmly and yet so gently. You tremble at his affection, the warmth of his touch.

“I think vitriolic anger is an appropriate response to this injustice.” The lines on his forehead are deep and dark. “This tragedy.”

Everything within you twists, like the tendrils of a tornado, tearing you apart. You try to speak, to maintain composure, but all you can do is clench and unclench your fists. He notices.

He is tentative at first. Then his words tumble out swiftly, lightly, almost playful. Like Charis’ springing feet when you practised swords together. Her leaping sprint when she stole the apples that were halfway to your mouth.

“Do you want me to conjure an effigy for you to batter?” he offers. “A dummy for you to rip apart? Should I find some barrels to fireball? Perhaps some statues for you to shatter in reckless abandon?”

Months ago, you and Charis had told Gale about your favourite childhood pastime, after your father had left you in the joyless care of your uncle. Over one of Gale’s sumptuous home-cooked meals, you had laughingly extolled the virtues and cathartic benefits of breaking everything you could get your hands on. You and Charis had offered to give Gale a detailed demonstration, but he had respectfully declined.

You are cut through by the joy of this memory, and of Gale’s love in sharing it. They are a sunbeam, searing through your empty heart. You wrap your arms around his neck and bury yourself inside him.

“Charis would approve of anything you choose,” he tells you, when you start to weep.

***

“So I told her, in no uncertain terms, that the next time she sends a simulacrum to one of our Board meetings, I will not hesitate to destroy it. That got her attention.”

As Poppy bobs her head in pride, you watch her tight curls bounce like coiled springs. Beside her, Kriv’s emerald scales shine as he applauds Poppy’s bravery. Gale is chuckling, cradling your hand in his lap. You mimic a smile.

Around you, there is the echoing of clattering mugs and clinking glasses. Hollow voices bleed into trailing laughter. The glow of candlelight warms your companions’ eyes and skin, but does not touch you. You have the strange feeling of being submerged in a glass box, watching and listening, hearing but not understanding. You feel disembodied.

You have sat at this table many times. When you moved to Waterdeep with Gale, you were keen to visit the Yawning Portal, the legendary tavern where Gale had rescued an unwitting crowd from violence with the power of ale, wit and generosity.  You were overjoyed when Gale introduced you to his old friend Kriv, the dragonborn bard who narrowly escaped a stabbing on the night of Gale’s heroics. You made fast friends with Poppy, too - Gale’s colleague at Blackstaff Academy, a pyromancer in specialism as well as temperament.

And when, a few months after the wedding, Charis had moved to Waterdeep, no trip to the Yawning Portal was complete without her. It was only natural that Charis should move to be near you. Before you awoke on the nautiloid, you had worked as mercenaries together, watching each others’ backs as you had since you were children. That did not need to change, just because you were married now, and had taken up with the Harpers. Charis settled in quickly, as she always did, renting modest lodgings near your tower, surprising you by joining the City Watch as a Constable. Your baby sister, finally putting down roots beside yours. You could not imagine life without her.

You stare at the empty space beside you.

You suddenly realise that your companions have fallen silent. You look up to three pairs of eyes, brown and green and blue, expectant and concerned as they wait for your answer. You look back blankly. You did not hear the question.

“Kriv was wondering whether we can still expect Jaheira next month, my love.” Gale squeezes your hand, his smile flickering. “Apparently, he’s quite taken by her.”

Kriv sighs loudly. “There's no use hiding it. That woman’s sunken her talons into my big black heart. If I had a moment alone with her, I could-”

Poppy chortles. “You spoke to her for all of ten minutes last time, Kriv. And you were more than a little tipsy.”

“It's called love at first sight, Popsicle. The stuff of odes, sonnets and ballads.” He waves dismissively. “I thought wizards were supposed to be wise.”

Poppy arches an eyebrow. “We are.”

You are nodding, smiling. You are trying.

“Jaheira's coming next month,” you manage.

You expect Gale to come in with a quip, but he does not. As Kriv and Poppy resume their bickering, Gale dips towards you. There is no hiding from his searching gaze.

“Do you want to go home, Tav?” His face is dark with worry again, a familiar sight which shames you.

After the funeral, you promised yourself that you would keep going. You would put on a brave face, as you and Charis had always done. For so long, you only had each other. You had to be strong for her, and she for you. As fighters, you were trained to soldier on through the most harrowing of battles. You would go on as normal. You had to.

So you accept every social invitation at Blackstaff, every gathering with Morena and Tara. You show up to every shift, attend meetings with Harpers around Faerun. You try to continue as though nothing has changed.

You can tell this troubles Gale. When he encourages you to take some time out, you reassure him this is not what you need. You need to keep going. To keep doing. You shrug off his tender, knowing gaze whenever he asks if you are alright. You cannot explain that you will never be alright again. This is what life is like now, without her.

“I'm fine, Gale.” Your voice is harder than you intend. “Everything's fine.”

A frown creases his brow. You avert your eyes, leaning forward to plant a long kiss on his cheek. You let go of his hand as you rise, turning towards your friends.

In the brightest voice you can muster, you ask, “Does anyone want another round?”

***

You are drifting towards the bar when you see her at the corner of the tavern. Ash blonde hair, shaved on one side and cut harshly at the chin. A deceptively willowy frame, concealing the strength of mountains. A soft, round face with deep set, almond eyes. She turns away, back facing you, nestled within the cackling group around her.

Time stops. The glass box splinters, and you are raked through by piercing ice. You leap towards the vision of your sister - flesh and blood, alive and well, here with you, and not crushed beneath the rubble of a disintegrated orphanage.

You knew it. It could not have been Charis lying on that pallet, grey and stiff as a torn doll. That was not the Charis you had wrestled with in the grass, who spiked your drinks with chilli and laughed so loudly that your ears rang with her delight. The Charis who sang in her sleep, who sharpened your blades as you stitched up her wounds. A desperate, frenzied relief possesses you.

An elderly man yowls as you shove him aside. A coiffured youth curses as you knock half of his ale onto the floor. You ignore the heads that turn at the commotion. You bound towards her, heaving wildly as you clutch her shoulder.

“Charis,” you cry.

She spins around to face you. Her eyes are wide with confusion, the blue of a cloudless sky, not the green of spring leaves. She is all straight lines and angles, harsh and pinched. Her skin is pale, unadorned by the freckles which mirror your own. On her jarringly narrow forehead rests a choppy fringe of an unfamiliar fashion.

You are winded. You stand speechless, tears erupting from you like guttering flames. The woman who is not Charis shifts away. The burly man next to her steps forward.

“Is there a problem here?”

You cannot move, cannot think. You have lost her. You are condemned to lose her again and again. A torment, an agony of remembrance. You cannot bear it. Your legs buckle beneath you.

He catches you. You know it is Gale before you see him. His body is warm and solid around yours, his arms steadfast and sure as they embrace you. The fragrance of sandalwood and soap envelopes you. He cups your cheek, sealing your forehead with kisses.

“I’m here, Tav,” he whispers. “I’m here.”

You are shaking. His body reverberates with your grief. You wonder if it is a shield straining to crack.

“Charis… She was…I thought…”

“I know.” His gentle eyes glisten as he holds you. “And I’m so, so sorry that it wasn’t her.”

All at once, you are sobbing. Cocooned against his chest, you begin to register the swirling of footsteps around you, bent on resuming the rhythm of the bustling tavern. You feel sharp jerks of Gale’s head, hear his protective warnings to irritated passersby. You know Gale would fight any one of them if they insulted or threatened you. You cannot allow that to happen. There can be no more death, no more tragedy. You try to steady the spasms of your breaths, to regain control of your limbs. Gale waits. He does not let you go.

When you stumble to your feet, Gale stands beside you. He brushes a tear from your cheek, weaving his fingers through yours.

“Let’s go home,” he says.

***

Every dawn is a punishment. A mockery by the Morninglord.

You draw your curtains, wrap yourself in the darkness of your bedsheets. You drink in sleep like an elixir, a balm that helps you forget. A spell that maintains the illusion.

You dream of her. In your dreams, she is alive, a babe and a child and a woman all at once. Barefoot and squealing as you chased her through the summer fields. Smug and smirking as she found your hidden stash of erotica. Feverish and frail as you fed her broth in bed. Grinning and victorious as you yielded to her wooden sword.

You dream of the thorns as well as the roses. Her incandescent, roaring rage. Her vile obscenities. Her stubbornness that drove you to madness. The petty squabbles you grew out of, and the meaningless quarrels you did not. You long for them now, more than ever. What you would not give to feel her seething anger, the proof of life in blood that boils.

Your dreams are a canopy, suspending you in time. Death cannot reach you there. It is perfect, and every time you wake, the anguish of truth crushes you so completely you do not think you will ever breathe again. You crumble beneath the weight of it.

You cannot keep going. Everything has changed.

***

He is curled against your back, close as a second skin. His arm drapes around you, his hand resting against your chest. You can smell the salt of sea air on Gale’s teaching robes, the bittersweet scent of his musk. It has become a routine, for Gale to bound up the stairs on return home from his lectures, sliding silently into the bed behind you, as though he never left your side.

“Jaheira sent word.” His breath caresses the shell of your ear. “She’s arriving a bit earlier than originally planned. She would like to spend that time with you.”

You say nothing. You can sense his movement. He is trying to catch a glimpse of your face, to parse the signals of your turmoil. You know you should feel gratitude at his love and patience, guilt at your withdrawal, your failure as a wife, friend, and Harper. But all you feel is a gaping chasm where Charis used to be.

“Tav.” His voice is impossibly soft. “I know it’s agony, unimaginable agony.” His hand reaches for yours. “But you’re not alone. I’m here for you, all of our friends are here for you, and we love you. I love you.”

For a long time, you cannot speak. You are collapsing into yourself, drowning in memories. When you answer, your voice is strangled and hoarse. The sound of decay.

“She was my mirror.”

Gale is quiet for a while. A tear rolls down your cheek, into the space between your intertwined fingers, braced against your heart.

“What do you mean, my love?”

You close your eyes. It hurts to speak of her. Every word is an admission of her absence, an ache that swallows you whole.

“She told me when I had food on my face,” you begin. “I wiped the mud off hers. She showed me when I was being an asshole. I made her keep her promises. I took care of her, and she kept me going. She told me I was her hero. I never got to tell her she was mine.”

You are haunted by all the things you should have said and done, broken links in the chain of possibilities. You had always thought there would be time. Why had you taken it for granted, as though every moment with her was infinite? You should have cherished them like pearls of dew in a desert. Now, you have nothing left.

“She’s gone, Gale. Who am I without her?”

You cannot see his face, but you can feel the resolve in his frame. He holds you against him, as though he can shield you from the storm.

“You’re who you’ve always been. Kind, brave, passionate. The warrior who saved the world. A soul that puts the stars to shame. The woman I love.”

He speaks with such certainty. You do not think you will ever be sure of anything again.

“I don't know how to be, without her.”

You can feel his heartbeat against your back. Its rhythm is constant and true.

“She'll always be a part of you, Tav. You carry her within you. Nothing can take that away.”

Something wrenches inside you. You are overcome by all of your doubts, all the questions that strip you bare. You cannot hold them back any longer.

“I should have insisted,” you choke. “When we asked her to move in with us, I shouldn’t have taken no for an answer. I could have kept a closer eye on her, then. I could have vetted her last mission with my contacts. They would have known that orphanage was falling apart. I could have warned her, stopped her, saved her…”

Gale is shaking his head, first slowly, then more and more insistently. His denial wracks your entire body, but you do not stop.

“My whole life, I’ve tried to protect her. To take the blows meant for her. She had so many years ahead of her. I should be dead, not her.”

Gale flinches. His hands are urgent, almost forceful, as he turns your body to face him.

“That’s not true. Please don't say that.”

You wince as he cups your tear-streaked cheeks, holding your gaze with brown fire. His chest heaves, and you feel his distress like a dagger, twisting with the knowledge that you are the source of his pain.

“Charis loved you fiercely. Furiously. She wanted nothing but the best for you. She wouldn’t want this for you. For you to be torn apart by guilt and regret over a tragedy no one could have prevented. To think it was in any way, shape or form your fault.”

His voice trembles, his eyes a stormy sea.

“No, Tav. She would want you to live. She wanted you to be happy.”

You want to cling to the thought, to the hope that Charis had. Her passion for life, her love for you. But sorrow comes like an avalanche, and you are buried in it. You are gasping, keening, weeping into his chest. You are a mangled mass of memories that hurts but never heals.

But he remains.

“There’s nothing you could have done to change things,” he whispers. “You’ve done nothing wrong. None of this is your fault.”

He presses you so tightly against him, you feel his breaths as your own. He kisses the crown of your head over and over again, his very own warding spell.

“I love you,” he says. “I'm here.”

***

You are standing in the kitchen, watching Gale stirring a simmering pot of Hundur sauce. He bobs his head enthusiastically as he relays the latest news from Kriv and Poppy. A strand of grey hair falls over his eyes, and you lean forward to tuck it away. He kisses your palm as you draw back.

You had stayed home when Gale ventured to the Yawning Portal last night. You had intended to go through some reports from recent Harper patrols, but you did not get far. Instead, you sat on the balcony with a glass of wine, staring at the stars. Thinking but not thinking. Feeling but not feeling.

When Gale returned much earlier than usual, you did not chide him. It had been an effort to convince him to go in the first place, to enjoy the company of his friends without fretting after you. You could still see the concern in his eyes when he joined you on the balcony, peppering your face with tiny kisses, as though he had not seen you for years.

You had kissed him properly for the first time in weeks, open mouthed and inviting. You could feel his yearning, raw and swollen, a surging flame dampened by worry. You reassured him that it was what you wanted, you were ready, it was alright. You had made love, wreathed in the haze of the stars - desperate and starving, throbbing with longing. And afterwards, you wept. You were relieved, so relieved, that you could still feel desire. That you were still capable of showing him your love. That having Gale inside you was still the closest you had ever come to feeling complete.

“I don’t have the heart to tell Kriv to cut his losses with Jaheira,” Gale goes on. “Though my esteemed colleague probably has that task well in hand. Better to leave such things to the experts.”

You chuckle. “Kriv doesn’t listen to Poppy though.”

“No.” Gale titters. “He doesn’t. I’m not sure how much he knows about Khalid, either.”

Gale’s brow flickers as he searches the kitchen counter. Instinctively, you pass him the pepper.

“He’s a bard,” you point out. “He’s read all the legends. And he’s done a ton of special research on Jaheira.”

“Ah.” Gale hums, his fingers a flurry of seasoning. “Then he must be an optimist as well as a hopeless romantic. To hear Jaheira speak of Khalid… She’s still married to him in spirit, and I think she always will be. New love can’t blossom in a field already full.”

You are quiet for a moment. Gale bustles around, squinting and frowning as he tastes his creation. You cannot help but smile at the intensity of his focus, his pride in everyday miracles.

“Khalid was a good man,” you say. “Compassionate and kind.”

You step forward, pressing yourself against Gale’s back, wrapping your arms around him. A sigh escapes him, a huff of busy contentment.

“He loved her,” you continue. “I think he would want her to be happy.”

Gale stops stirring. Slowly, he turns to face you. His smile is sunlight on thawing snow. He presses his forehead against yours, his arms circling your waist.

“I think he would, too.”

***

You are grizzling and grinning as you pour Gale’s sauce into jars, ready to be stored in the larder. The sauce was a mere moment away from being ruined, Gale mock-complains, because you drove him to distraction yet again. Thank the gods, he declares, for his discipline and self-control.

You are developing an appetite, in more ways than one. You suspect that the flush on Gale’s cheeks is not just from the heat of the hearth. You are dividing up the last of the sauce as briskly as you can when an afterthought comes to you.

“We need to keep a few jars aside for when Charis comes,” you exclaim. “She loves this stuff. She asked if she could take some away with her the last time she-”

Your throat closes. You cannot breathe. There is a roiling inside you as the bridges you have started to rebuild crumble to dust. You are dust and ruins, and she is gone. Never again will she savour your food or drink, or sit with you and Gale trading jests and barbs. Never again will you ruffle her hair and cuddle her close, a grown woman, formidable and fearless, but still your baby sister. Always your baby sister.

You break.

In an instant, Gale is by your side. As you fall apart, he gathers up the pieces, returning them gently to the palm of your hand. You look at him through black waves and splintered glass. His brow is steepled with sorrow, but he shines with the hope of love.

He cradles your head against his heart.

“It’s alright,” he says. “We’ll enjoy it for her.”

 ****

You are sitting together on the balcony. Within the coral sky, purple bruises turn to gold, as the sun takes its weary dive into the sea. Three boxes of Charis’ belongings rest at your feet, waiting and expectant.

It is difficult at first. Each item aches more than the last. The scent of vanilla and smoke clings to all of Charis’ clothes, assailing you with a longing that has no equal. There are things you never knew Charis kept, like the one-eyed teddy you found for her when you were ten, and the book of lewd drawings you doodled together when your uncle sent you to bed. There is the silver locket you gave her on her twentieth birthday, polished and still kept in its plush box - “too expensive to wear”, Charis used to say -and the green ribbon you used to wear in your hair, when it was longer and less unruly. 

Gale listens as you unravel the mystery of every priceless treasure. You are sobbing one moment, chortling the next, and then you sit in silence, holding one of Charis’ scarves against your face, as though you are embracing her one last time.

“It was an honour to have known her,” Gale says after a while.

You realise that he, too, is crying. You plant feather-soft kisses beneath his eyes, and when your lips meet, you can taste the tears on his tongue. His arm drapes around your waist as you lean your head on his shoulder, watching the seagulls soaring overhead. Surrounded by these last traces of her, there is pain, but there is also a kind of peace.

“For a while, it hurt to remember,” you start. “It tore me apart. I wanted so badly to forget. I wanted to forget everything.”

An image of Charis blazes in your mind. You let yourself linger on every line and curve of it. Her toothy grin. The messy dance of freckles across her nose. The white down around her hairline. A face like no other.

“Now, I want to remember. I don't want to forget anything. I want to remember it all.”

Your gaze drifts over each and every wonder that Charis cherished, the remnants of a life well-lived. A life containing multitudes, far more than three boxes of scattered possessions, more than a clumsy jumble of tales.

“So many moments in a life. So many memories.” You look down at your balled fists. “I’m losing them already. I don't want to forget.”

As your voice catches, Gale’s fingers find yours. Your anchor, constant through the storm.

“Then I'll help you remember.”

You frown at him, questioning.

“Tell me.” He smiles, his eyes warm as sun-kissed oak. “Tell me everything.”

So you do. You start at the beginning. With your hand in his, you leap through the chapters of your history, the thread of Charis’ life woven into yours like a braid. As the cloak of night falls over you, then dissolves to the birth of dawn, you laugh and cry and rage. You remember your sister in all her glory, the rough and the smooth, every feat and foible. Every memory you share is a stitch in your broken heart. Gale listens, eyes streaming, lips curling, chuckling and seething, as though he feels every memory as vividly as his own.

And when you gaze into the sunrise, you know there is no ending. In Gale’s embrace, you burn with a love stronger than death.

“I won't forget,” you promise her. “I won't forget to remember.”

*****

Liked this fic? Check out my other work.

[comicaurora]

Hey, sorry if you’ve been asked this before, but I have ADHD and I’ve been following your comic for years and just now have started to write my own comic (partially because you really inspired me). But I’m really struggling with staying on the project even when it’s boring and getting myself to work on it in the first place. Do you have any tips on how to keep your brain invested or just to make yourself do the work at all?

I have excellent news, I literally just figured out something really important about this.

So when you're an ADHD kiddo or otherwise have difficulty staying on task in a structured environment where Task is the Priority, the main way people try to MAKE you stay on task is by removing your access to anything that is not The Task. No phone, no TV, no doodling, no going outside, etc. In practice, this just makes us miserable because it takes the boredom that's always simmering around a 2 or 3 and cranks it all the way up to 11. In the same way that you would have difficulty staying on task if you were in physical pain, this crushing existential monotony makes it very difficult to work. The work might get done simply because you have no other options, but it will not be done quickly or well, and it will take a while to recover from how much it hurt.

What I realized earlier this week is I caught myself doing this to myself. I had 42 pages of background colors to do, and I thought to myself "this sounds really tedious, but I suppose I have nothing better I can do." And I realized what I'd just thought, and got very alarmed.

Because back when I was an ADHD kiddo imprisoned by school scheduling and a million little factors that keep children immobile and restrained, I couldn't stop thinking about how big and exciting the world was, and how much I wanted to be anywhere but here. When I was feeling really crushed in I'd pick a random spot on the maps on my wall and just imagine being there instead of my bedroom. This was the impetus behind almost all of my creative energy. I've said it before - anything is a prison if you can't leave, and being in a prison makes it easy to imagine how amazing things could be outside of it. Aurora's initial worldbuilding was forged in the crucible of fifth grade misery. My enthusiasm for art and my creative drive are inextricable from my sense of wonder and yearning for excitement in the real world. Not escapism, but appreciation. Wonders unimaginable are out there, and I gain just as much joy seeking them out as I do conjuring them up in my head and sharing them with all of you.

So now that I'm a grown-up with actual freedom in every way I've been able to get, the idea that I was staying on task by making myself believe the world was small and not worth seeing was extremely alarming. It could keep me on task for an afternoon, but at the cost of slowly extinguishing the thing that made me want to make art in the first place - the hunger to experience and draw inspiration from all the myriad complexities in the world.

So what I've been doing is I've been purposefully and intentionally taking excursions whenever I catch myself thinking "I could take a break but it wouldn't be worth it, it's the same outdoors as always, I'll be uncomfy and unproductive and tired." Because that is never true. Every time I've put down the stylus and gone out, I've been renewed in one way or another, and when I come back to comfort fully recharged I get a lot of shit done. Because it is easier to work on anything if you remember why you wanted to make it in the first place, and it is self-defeating misery to just lock yourself in with it and tell yourself you're a bad person if you can't get it done.

I honestly don't know how widely applicable this is. I have worse wanderlust than anyone I know, so for me this has always been modeled as imprisonment vs freedom. I've also been extremely lucky to find myself in a profession that lets me set my own pace on literally everything I do. But I genuinely believe that when it comes to making art with ADHD, you need to give yourself freedom to move laterally, not just in the direction of obvious forward progress. We don't think linearly in any other part of our lives - art is no different.

[plushieni]

i know ill find you one day

based off of this song

touya todoroki, your beloved childhood best friend, had passed away when you were just eleven. or at least, that’s what you were told. when the incident happened,, when he was assumed dead — you were devastated. he wasn’t just your best friend; he was your partner in crime, your safe place, and most importantly, your first love.

his loss changed everything. in the aftermath, you grew closer to the todoroki family. his mother welcomed you with open arms, holding you through nights when grief crawled into your chest and made it hard to breathe. she understood your pain in a way no one else could. you missed him deeply.

when you and touya first met, he’d confided in you, shared things he hadn’t even told his siblings. the bond had been instant — two broken kids finding comfort in each other’s company. you tried your best to understand the pain his father put him through, even if it was too big for either of you to make sense of. you made it your mission to bring joy into his life, even if just in little pieces. you wanted to remind him what being a kid was supposed to feel like.

but looking back, you both were doomed from the start.

so when it was reported that dabi — the infamous member of the league of villains — was actually touya todoroki... your touya todoroki… the world around you tilted.

you cried. a lot.

some tears were born from grief, others from joy, and many from sheer disbelief. it felt unreal, like someone had ripped open a wound you’d spent years trying to stitch shut.

anxiety coursed through your veins.

was it really him? was he still the same boy you had loved? did he even remember you? what if he was nothing like the touya you knew?

those thoughts haunted you for weeks. it wasn’t until recently that you learned he’d been placed in a rehab facility — something about endeavor pulling strings to lessen his punishment. trying to save his appearance.

truthfully, touya had never stopped thinking about you either. through the years, your memory followed him like a ghost. sometimes soft. sometimes aching. but always there.

he wondered about you often.

did you hate him? had you moved on? what if you didn’t recognize him — what if all you saw now was the monster he became?

but the moment he was cleared and able to return home, the first thing he asked about was you.

when you got the news he was home, you waited. longer than you wanted to. fear kept you stuck in place. anticipation and doubt battled inside your chest every time you thought about seeing him again.

when you finally did, it was nothing short of bittersweet.

his eyes met yours, and they still held that same quiet intensity—the same storm you used to see in them as kids. you ran to him before your mind could catch up, and he immediately melted into you, arms wrapping around your frame like he needed to make sure you were real.

he whispered over and over, “m’ sorry,” and “missed you s’ much,” voice cracking with every word.

it didn’t feel real. and yet, it felt like coming home.

the two of you talked for hours, and it was like no time had passed at all.

of course, the elephant in the room remained — he had become a villain. he had done things you couldn’t ignore. and he feared you'd look at him differently, that you'd be repulsed. but you couldn’t hate him. not even if you tried.

you weren’t going to pretend nothing had happened, but you also weren’t going to hold his past against him. you knew his trauma ran deep, that the pain that turned him into dabi was never his fault to begin with.

all you wanted now was to show him he was still the boy you loved.

you started coming around every day. on some nights, you stayed over — afraid that if you left, you might lose him all over again. he was still hesitant, still unable to believe someone could love him after everything.

but you were patient.

because underneath the pain, the scars, the fire and ash, he was still touya. still your touya.

one night, as you laid beside him, tracing the burns on his arm with the tips of your fingers, he whispered something so soft you almost missed it.

“when i left... i didn’t know where i was going. i didn’t know who i was gonna become. but even back then... i told myself, i know i’ll find you one day. and here you are.”

you blinked back tears and pressed your forehead to his —looking at him like he never stopped being yours.

it wasn’t perfect. there were still doubts. still moments of silence that stretched too long. still nightmares he didn’t talk about and questions you didn’t always ask.

but now that you finally made your way back to each other, you both knew — you were going to be okay.

© 𝐩𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐢 — do not copy, steal, translate, or claim any of my works as your own.