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hungermakesmonsters · 1 year ago

Text

(Once Bitten) Twice Shy

Chapter Eight

Plot summary : Desperate to get away from your controlling family, you take a job in New York as a wealthy vampire's blood source. A million dollars awaits if you can make it through a year, but life with Billy Russo is not going to be as simple as you think.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R Chapter Rating : R

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Mention of periods (don't worry, we're not doing Saltburn), smutty behaviour, use of toys. More sickening cuteness. All chapters will contain mentions of blood. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : 5k

A/N : It's not exactly a cliffhanger but I get the feeling people won't like where it ends... Oh also spoilers for Jane Eyre (but it's 170 years old so I'm assuming people know the twist?)

MASTER LIST

Chapter Eight

The gentle touch of his fingers on your cheek woke you and, for a few seconds, you weren’t sure where you were. Billy was crouched in front of you, smiling softly. Your eyes threatened to close again, feeling exhausted and like all of it was just a dream.

“Hey,” he muttered softly, his fingers still tenderly caressing your cheek. “Are you okay?”

Finally, you managed to wake yourself up enough to realise that you weren’t dreaming, and that you’d fallen asleep on the sofa beneath the yellow blanket Billy had bought for you.

“I’m fine, just tired,” you told him, slowly sitting up.

Billy remained crouched in front of you, tenderly cupping your cheek and looking almost concerned.

“Did you draw too much blood again?”

“No, it's not that. I did that hours ago. I'm just really tired.”

“Just tired?” He pressed the back of his cold hand to your forehead, checking your temperature.

“And my head hurts a little.”

“When is, uh -” he hesitated, almost looking uncharacteristically embarrassed, “- when is your next period due?”

Your cheeks warmed with both the realisation and the fact that Billy had figured it out before you. That was why you felt so awful. “Soon, I think? I-I lost track of the days after I moved in,” you explained, “and I've never been very, uh… regular…”

Thankfully, Billy just nodded and sat himself beside you, an arm around you pulling you into his side.

“Do you need to go lay down?”

“No I - I want to spend time with you,” you told him, resting your head on his shoulder. “We didn't really get to finish talking last night…”

“Was there something else you wanted to say or ask?” Billy asked softly, shifting a little so you could get comfortable against him.

You stayed silent for a few moments, thinking over all of the things you wanted to ask, wondering what you had the right to ask. “What causes it? What makes you feel like everything is... too much? I’ve only ever seen a vampire lose control from hunger...”

“Sometimes it’s hunger,” he offered reluctantly, “other times it’s just... I don’t know. Even before I was turned, I was never any good at controlling my emotions. And, now, I feel like I’m constantly fighting myself. When I’m with you, I feel like I’m drowning. Everything about you; your scent, the taste of your blood, the way your heart races... it’s a lot to try and ignore.”

Although the words were spoken to you, about you, you knew better than to read too much into them. It was the constant proximity, he probably felt that way around any human after enough time. It wasn’t because he felt anything for you.

“That sounds exhausting.”

“It is,” he admitted, waiting for a beat before asking; “why did you apologise? I lost control but you apologised.”

“Because I -” you stopped yourself before the lie managed to leave your lips. It hadn’t been your fault, as difficult as it was for you to accept that fact, you knew it was true. “Because I’ve always been made to feel like it’s my fault when bad things happen to me. The night we met, you asked me what I was running from, and that’s part of it; I was raised to feel ashamed and believe I deserved everything bad that happened to me.”

You heard him inhale sharply before he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. He was silent a moment before speaking again.

“Who left you?” He asked softly. You lifted your head, frowning. “Last night when you asked why I was leaving you it just… you sounded hurt, like someone had left you before…”

“My sister,” you answered, “she left home when she was eighteen and my parents disowned her because of it. She said she'd come back for me, but she never did.”

“Why did she leave?”

“My parents wanted her to marry a guy she didn’t want to marry.”

“Is that why you left?” He asked and immediately seemed to regret it when your gaze dropped. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that.”

A moment later, you snuggled back into his side and closed your eyes. “How long until you have to go to work?”

“I can stay another twenty minutes,” he told you softly, slipping his arm around you. He was silent for a few minutes, before letting out a slow exhale. “I’m not going to be able to see you for a few days, it’s not safe for me to be around you while you’re...”

He didn’t have to say it for you to understand and, as much as you wanted to argue with him, you knew it wouldn’t be fair to try and force the issue. Now that you had some idea of how he felt and how much of a struggle it was for him to be around you sometimes, you knew Billy needed space.

“It’s okay, I understand.”

You stayed that way for another twenty-five minutes until you gently reminded Billy that he was going to be late for work. He didn’t seem to want to leave you and it made your heart ache to think about why that might be. Though, rationally, you understood that it wasn’t you; he was just tired. You were finally starting to understand just how difficult and exhausting it was for him just to get through a day.

He gave you a soft kiss and told you that he’d see you again soon.

The next morning when you woke up cramping and feeling terrible, until you found that he’d left a gift basket in your kitchen, filled with things you might need over the coming days; painkillers, chocolates, a new smart-watch with a cycle tracking app, a heating-pad, various toiletries and a large teddy bear with a note pinned to his chest.

I thought you and Bill the Beagle might want some company.

Take care of yourself. I’ll see you soon.

Butterflies filled your stomach at the thoughtfulness of the gifts and, later that afternoon, when you left blood for him, you couldn’t resist leaving him a note of your own.

Thank you for your considerate gifts. William the Bear is a wonderful addition to my growing stuffie collection and the chocolates were lovely. Hope you have a good night at work.

xoxo

The next day you felt even worse but, again, you were pleasantly surprised when you managed to drag yourself to the kitchen to get breakfast and some coffee. There was another box of chocolates and another note waiting for you.

William is a terrible name for a bear. I didn’t expect you to get through the chocolates so quickly, remind me to stock up next month. I hope you’ve not been watching Black Sails without me.

Take care

And, of course - of course - you had to reply, leaving your note with his blood again.

I happen to like the name William. I think it suits him. He looks like a William. I hope you’re not trying to shame me for enjoying the chocolates, truffles and caramels are my weakness. Don’t worry, I’ve not been watching anything without you, I’ve been reading. You were right, Jane Eyre was a very apt choice.

xoxo

His notes became your reason to get up in the morning, though they were a bittersweet reminder of his noticeable absence in your life. It filled you with a strange yearning and an uncomfortable sadness to think about him out there on his own. But that was a silly thought. You didn’t know anything about his life outside of the penthouse, about his work or his friends, maybe he wasn’t even noticing your absence.

(Or maybe he felt it just as much as you did.)

Okay, I have to ask; what does a William look like? Of course I’d never shame you for enjoying the chocolates, but now you’ve told me your weakness I might have to use it to my advantage. I hope you’re enjoying Jane Eyre more than you enjoyed Dorian Gray.

I hope you’re not feeling too bad. I miss our talks.

Your heart stuttered as you read and reread those four little words; I miss our talks. He missed you. Maybe not quite in the same way that you were missing him but, still, it made you long for him even more.

Well, in my experience Williams tend to be cute and cuddly, even though they look a little dark and brooding at first glance. Oh no! Please don’t use my weakness for chocolate truffles against me!!! (The extra exclamation marks are so you read that in a sarcastic tone.) Yes, I think I like Jane Eyre more than Dorian Gray - Mr Rochester kind of reminds me of you.

I’m feeling a bit better today, I should be fine in a couple of days. I miss spending time with you too. I hope you’re not too lonely without me around.

xoxo

You doodled a little picture of the teddy bear he’d given you on the corner of the note but gave him a grumpy looking face and a tag that read ‘my name is William’.

There was a strange feeling of embarrassment when you left the note and you almost changed your mind about it halfway back to your room, and you spent the rest of the evening wondering if it was a little too much.

So, the next morning, you felt a little reluctant to go into the kitchen, and had to take a deep breath before reading his note.

Dark and brooding?? I think you might have to elaborate, but I’ll let you save that for when I see you next. I hope that there will come a point in the book where Mr Rochester doesn’t remind you of me quite so much (I don’t know where you’re up to and I don’t want to spoil it).

I’m glad you’re feeling better. The penthouse isn’t the same without you. It’s strange, you’ve only been here a couple of months yet and it already feels empty without you. I miss you.

P.S. Is the doodle supposed to be me or the stuffie?

It felt like your head was spinning as you read, reread, and read again.

He missed you.

Billy missed you.

You spent half the day writing and rewriting your note to him, in one attempt confessing your feelings, in another acting completely blaise about his confession. Nothing you came up with felt right but the thought of not replying seemed worse.

I see what you mean about Mr Rochester... though I don’t know if I can completely rule out the possibility of you having a strange woman tucked away somewhere in the penthouse. It would certainly explain where all of the chocolates have been going.

I miss you too. I know what you mean, I feel the same way, like I’ve been here longer. But I suppose that’s how things feel when you get close to someone. Hope to see you tomorrow.

xoxo

P.S. I’ll never tell. An artist never reveals her secrets.

There was no end to your relief the next morning when you woke up finally feeling better, knowing that you’d be able to see Billy again. Part of you expected not to find a note, but there it was, waiting for you on your kitchen table, just like the others had been.

I can think of a less mysterious explanation for the disappearance of your chocolates, little hummingbird.

I’m not used to missing people. I’m not used to being close to them either. Some days I feel like my whole life has turned upside down since I met you. I can’t wait to see you again.

P.S. I think it’s magicians that never reveal their secrets, not artists.

Again, he left you searching for deeper meaning in every word, your heart aching for a man who seemed so lonely and alone, a man who didn’t deserve that life at all.

After breakfast you showered and washed your hair, wanting to look your best when you saw him again.

Slowly but surely, over the course of the day, your nerves started to eat away at you; what were you going to say to him? Were you going to pretend that the notes hadn’t happened and that their contents was just idle talk to help the other feel less alone?

You couldn’t sit still as you waited, counting down the hours before sunset, perched on the edge of the sofa and watching his door. The moment it started to open, you were on your feet.

Before he had the chance to even realise that you were there, you’d cleared the distance between you, throwing your arms around his waist and pressing your face against his chest. Billy let out a breath but, for the life of you, you couldn’t tell if it was a sigh of relief or simply because you were squeezing the air from his lungs.

“Hey,” he muttered, his arm slipping around you and holding you almost as tight as you were holding him.

A minute or two passed, neither of you moving or saying anything, until he pressed a kiss to the top of your head and your grip on him started to loosen. You didn’t pull away, but gave yourself enough space to look up at him, smiling shyly as your cheeks started to warm.

“Hi.”

“Hi, hummingbird.”

Neither of you seemed to know what to do or where you were supposed to go from there so, again, you both fell silent, still holding each other. Finally, you dared to reach for him, placing your hand on his cheek. His eyes closed and he leaned into your touch, and butterflies began to swarm in your stomach. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you lifted onto your tiptoes and pressed your lips to his.

It was a soft, chaste kiss, nothing at all compared to some of the kisses that you’d shared, but you felt his lips pull into a smile against yours before his eyes finally opened again.

“I missed you,” he admitted in little more than a whisper.

His hand moved to rest on your neck and you found yourself glad of his cold touch after what seemed like so long without it.

“I missed you too,” you confessed, “I - I missed you more than I probably should have.”

If Billy understood what you were trying to tell him, he didn’t show it. Instead, he just shook his head and smiled before kissing you again.

You sank against him letting him deepen the kiss and turn it into something else, something new. Normally when he kissed you it felt explosive and desperate, like he was laying claim to you, but this kiss was tender and filled with longing, like he was savouring being with you again. It stole the breath from your lungs.

“I missed you,” he muttered again.

“You already said that.”

“I know, I just -” his head shook, and he let out a huffed laugh, “- this has felt like one of the longest weeks of my life.”

“Have you been okay? Was it -” you hesitated, not sure you wanted to ask the question, “- was it easier without me around?”

Billy pulled back a little, frowning. “Why would it be easier?”

“The other night, you said you feel like you’re drowning when you’re with me,” you shrugged a little, letting your gaze drop for a moment.

Before the notes, you’d assumed that everyone made him feel that way, that it was just part of being a vampire for him. But, now, after his last note and after that kiss, part of you longed for him to admit that it was more, that it was you, that he felt something for you, that he cared.

“I was wrong,” he told you, waiting until you looked up again to continue, “I feel like I’m drowning without you.”

“Oh.” Whatever you’d expected, it hadn’t been that.

“It’s a lot. I know it’s a lot -”

“No,” you shook your head, “no, it’s not.”

“I wish I could’ve met you in another life. I wish it wasn’t like this.”

The words caused your chest to ache, understand what he was saying and why because you felt the same way; the situation was a mess and all either of you could do was make the best of it.

There was more you could say - more you wanted to say - but it didn’t feel like the right time, and it wasn’t fair for you to try and push anything when you had every intention of leaving him once you’d finished your year. So, instead, you pressed yourself against him and hugged him tight.

Once you’d managed to pull away from each other, you spent the next hour sitting with him on the sofa, talking while he drank, trading gentle touches and kisses until he needed to leave. You followed him to the elevator, not sure if he was keeping hold of your hand or if it was the other way around.

It took a couple of weeks for things to start to return to some sort of normal between you.

Karen noticed the first time she saw you, mentioning that you seemed distracted as you walked through Central Park together (thankfully with no sign of Madani in sight), but she didn’t bring it up until you were sitting together a week later, having lunch in a little coffee shop.

“Is everything alright with you and Billy?” She asked, deciding to just go for it.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” you answered. And it was fine. You were happy. You just could stop thinking about what he’d said to you and how you wished that things could be just a little bit different so you could both be happy.

“I know Billy’s my friend and you don’t really know me all that well, but you can talk to me if something’s bothering you. Or if he’s done something to bother you.”

There was something in her voice, something knowing that you really didn’t like. But how could she know what was going on with you and Billy, when you didn’t even know yourself?

“Everything’s fine, honestly. It’s great, actually. We’ve been really getting on lately; we’ve been hanging out talking about books and I’ve been making him watch Black Sail on Netflix,” you told her.

Karen nodded, though it didn’t look like she believed you, but she let it drop, leaving you with the sneaking suspicion that she knew a little more about the way Billy was than she wanted to let on.

Your quiet evenings with Billy slowly started to become a little more physical again, though neither of you seemed in a rush to try and push for sex again. Instead, most evenings he’d end up with his head between your thighs, or you’d slip your hand into his pants while you made out. And, even though you found yourself longing for more, you didn’t want to push him. No, you wanted to take things slowly, wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t get overwhelmed again before you took that next step.

Time seemed to fly by and it wasn’t long before the whole penthouse was being turned upside down in anticipation of Billy’s big party; live music, caterers, decorators and, of course, more blood than you felt comfortable seeing in one place. The whole place was transformed over the course of three days and, when the night finally came, you felt almost sick with nerves.

Even Billy had a strange energy about him, checking and double checking every little thing, including a security team from his company whose presence he seemed reluctant to explain to you. You watched from the sofa as he led them around the apartment, explaining where he wanted them and which areas of the penthouse were off-limits. He introduced you to one of them, a human man called Curtis who would be spending the night near the door to your quarters if you needed any help during the night (and, again, Billy didn’t explain what that meant).

A couple of hours before the guests were due to arrive, you went to shower and draw blood before doing your hair and makeup, and getting changed into your dress and shoes. For a few minutes you found yourself staring at your reflection, hoping to find some of the confidence you’d had that night in the dressing room with Billy.

When you stepped out into the penthouse, it only took a moment for his eyes to find you, his jaw threatening to drop as he took in the sight of you. His appearance had the same effect on you; his well tailored tux had you biting your lip.

“Wow, Russo, you really know how to pick them,” Curtis called across the penthouse, earning himself a withering look from Billy and causing your cheeks to heat.

Billy made his way towards you, not bothering to hide the way his eyes were taking in every inch of you. When he reached you, he placed a hand on your hip and kissed your cheek.

“I got you a present,” he told you, using his hand to start guiding you towards the library, pausing momentarily to tell Curtis and his team that they could go take a break before the party started.

Your heart was hammering in your chest as he led you into the library and towards the seldom used desk by the window. Waiting for you were three boxes, each beautifully wrapped in silver paper and tied with black ribbon. Without thought, you found yourself gripping Billy’s arm as your legs threatened to turn to jello beneath you.

He smiled softly, picking up the first box and handing it to you.

“Open it,” he instructed, managing to sound as excited as you felt about this whole exchange.

It felt wrong to destroy the immaculate wrapping, so you took your time, carefully untying the ribbon and peeling open the paper to get at the box. You removed the lid and there, in amongst black tissue paper was an ornate black and silver mask.

“It’s for the party tonight,” he told you when you looked at him for clarification, “we wear the masks until midnight and then take them off. It’s supposed to symbolise vampires being seen by society, but really it’s just an excuse to have fun while no one knows who you are.”

You laughed, head shaking. “Thank you, it’s beautiful.”

But he didn’t give you time to linger, gently taking the box and mask from your hand before offering you the next present, seeming to get more eager with each passing second. He was practically vibrating with excitement.

Your breath caught as you opened the second box. It was a beautiful choker style necklace with diamanté detailing - at least, you assumed that it was diamanté because you couldn’t even start to imagine how much it would have cost if they were real diamonds. For a few seconds you were lost for words.

“Here, let me,” he offered, pulling the necklace from the box before you even had the chance to answer him. Billy stepped behind you, gently draping it around your neck and fastening it for you.

Your fingers immediately reached up to touch it; it felt a little heavy around your neck and you’d never had a choker style necklace before, but the feel of it would be a constant reminder of Billy and you loved that.

“Thank you, Billy,” you finally managed, turning and wrapping your arms around him before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“There’s one more.” He reached for the last present but seemed a little more reluctant to hand it to you.

And once you’d opened it, you understood why.

“Oh...” said somewhere between shock and confusion.

You weren’t sure what you’d been expecting, especially not after the mask and the choker, but a new sex toy certainly wasn’t it. Your cheeks heated as you looked at the box, trying to make sense of it, the words discreet and remote play only confused you more.

“I want you to wear this for the party,” he told you, a hint of nervousness in his voice, “if you want to, I mean. If it’s too much, I get it. I just - I thought we could have some fun. And there’s going to be so many people, I guess I want to know you’ll spend the night thinking about me...”

Your cheeks continued to burn, part horrified by the notion, but a much larger part couldn’t help but find the idea interesting, arousing even. And, after everything that had happened between you, part of you was still longing for more.

“You want me to spend the night thinking about you?” You asked quietly.

“More than anything,” he answered in little more than a whisper, like he knew it was something he shouldn’t say.

It felt like your heart leapt into your throat for a few seconds and you struggled to swallow around it. All you could think about was that night a couple of weeks ago, how he told you it felt like he was drowning when he wasn’t with you, and you knew that you couldn’t say no to him. (You didn’t want to say no to him.)

“Okay,” you finally answered, “how do I...?”

“Let me,” he offered, perhaps a little too eagerly, taking the box from your hand, muttering something about how he’d cleaned it and charged it ready before wrapping it.

You bit your lip, watching as he pulled the purple silicone toy out of the box, knowing that he could hear your heart pounding. Then he kissed you, slipping his tongue between your lips and enjoying you for a few moments. When he pulled back he began to trace your lips with the tip of the toy before slipping it into your mouth, causing your cheeks to burn hotter.

You watched him suck his fingers, leaving them glistening with saliva before dropping to his knees and slipping them beneath your dress and into your panties. His free hand nudged your knee and you parted your trembling legs a little further while his fingers stirred between your folds, wetting you before slowly slipping into you.

You moaned softly as his fingers slowly started to pump inside you, twisting and bending, easily finding that special spot.

Your hands gripped his shoulders, feeling like your legs were going to give out. Another soft moan escaped you when he looked up at you, holding your gaze as his fingers filled you, over and over. You clenched around him as he licked his lips, knowing that he was imagining the taste of your arousal on his tongue.

“You can come whenever you need to,” he told you, smiling up at you like he was in awe of you.

“Billy...” you moaned, your voice muffled by the toy in your mouth, hating how close you were to falling apart.

Your walls clenched and tightened around his fingers again, but you were already so wet that you couldn’t hold onto him or make him slow. There was something about all of this that seemed so obscene, so dirty, and it just made you want it ever more. His fingers hit that sweet spot one more time and it was enough to push you over the edge. Your legs started to tremble and your thighs pressed together, trying to keep his fingers inside you.

And, all the while, Billy smiled up at you.

A needy whine slipped out when he pulled away his hand, but you soon fell silent when he took the toy from your mouth. Your eyes fixed on the bookshelf behind Billy as he inserted the toy, suddenly feeling embarrassed despite everything you’d just let him do. Once he was done, he straightened your panties and made sure your dress was perfect.

Shifting your weight between your legs, you tried to get used to the feeling of the toy while Billy stood up and took out his phone.

“Let’s give it a little test,” he said with an almost mischievous grin on his lips that caused you thighs to clench. Something told you he was going to enjoy this. A lot.

A sudden whimper was pulled from you as the toy started to vibrate.

Billy’s grin grew as his finger swiped on his phone, causing the vibrations to intensify. As good as it felt, a mixture of shame and concern threatened to ruin the moment.

“What?” Billy asked, stopping the vibrations the moment he noticed your discomfort. “If it’s too much, you don’t have to do this.”

“I want to,” you answered shyly, a little embarrassed by just how much you wanted to, “It’s just... what if someone realises?”

He offered a soft smile, placing a hand on your cheek.

“They won’t,” he told you with confidence. “It’ll be too noisy for anyone to hear it, and you’ll be good; you won’t come until we’re alone together and I give you permission.”

His thumb tenderly caressed your cheek as he leaned in to kiss you, his tongue slipping between your lips and wiping away any misgivings you might have had. You wanted to do this. You wanted to give Billy the comfort of knowing that you were thinking about him all night. And you wanted to do it for yourself too. You’d wanted to have new experiences and this was definitely new for you.

“Come on,” he said, slipping his hand into yours, “let’s go have a glass of wine and wait for the guests to arrive. It’s going to be a long night...”

Chapter Nine

End Note : So, originally, this chapter and the party were going all be one chapter, but then I got carried away with the cute notes between reader and Billy. That means next week will be a whole chapter of party shenanigans.

As always, thanks for reading/commenting/liking/reblogging, hope you're enjoying this as much as I'm enjoying writing it! Have a great weekend!

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future chapters! If tagging doesn't work for some reason (aka Tumblr being dumb) I post most Fridays around 7:30 gmt.

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proseandpsalms · 4 months ago

Note

hello!! i don't know if you've been asked this before, but i just saw a post of yours that said you don't believe in a conventional/eternal hell. can you explain/expand on that please?

i was by a previously pentecostal "fire and brimstone" (now conserv. baptist) father, and a conserv. baptist mother. a lot of my family (the ones who are christian, anyway) are very end-times/rapture/hell/fire and brimstone-based. it's honestly terrifying- i grew up having nightmares about it all when i was young. i'm now deconstructing my faith, but that aspect always feels like a scary looming figure at the back of it.

i read somewhere once that jews don't believe in an eternal hell? i'm not sure if that's true or not, but that's what i was reminded of when i saw your post. is it like that?

basically, i'm asking: why do you believe that way? what supports it (not that you need anything to support it, just that if there is, i'd like to see it)? would you be willing to share?

thank you very much- i'm sorry this got a bit vent-y, but i just wanted you to understand my background, and where i'm coming from when asking. :D

On Hell

First of all I want to apologise for taking one million years to respond to this. Time is a slippery character with few morals.

The first thing that I want to establish is the difference between what I understand hell to be and what others do. Growing up I was taught that hell is a pit of fire and flames that people reside in for the rest of their soul's eternity, as punishment for not believing in the Christian understanding of God. I do not believe in this.

I do not believe this to be a biblical notion either. I encourage you to read the following and click the link to read the full text as they articulate it better than what I possibly could ever. Here is an excerpt from it.

"There Are The 4 Words Translated As “Hell”

Most of the confusion around Hell starts with translation error. There are four separate Hebrew and Greek words which are translated into the single English word “Hell”, despite having drastically different meanings.

Sheol (Hebrew)

Hades (Greek)

Tartarus (Greek)

Gehenna (Greek)

The English language is often very limited when trying to express certain concepts. A perfect Biblical example of this is the multiple Greek words translated to the single English word “Love”. Agape is a special version of love that speaks about God’s love toward humanity. Phileo speaks about brotherly love and Eros refers to sexual love or desire.

And just like “love”, the English word “hell” is unilaterally translated from the Greek and Hebrew words Sheol, Hades, Gehenna, and Tartarus, each of which have different meanings.

1. Sheol (H7585)

שׁאל שׁאול she’ôl she’ôl sheh-ole’, sheh-ole’ From H7592; hades or the world of the dead (as if a subterranian retreat), including its accessories and inmates: — grave, hell, pit.

2. Hades (G86)

ᾅδης hadēs hah’-dace From G1 (as a negative particle) and G1492; properly unseen, that is, “Hades” or the place (state) of departed souls: — grave, hell.

3. Gehenna (G1067)

γέεννα geenna gheh’-en-nah Of Hebrew origin ([H1516] and [H2011]); valley of (the son of) Hinnom; gehenna (or Ge-Hinnom), a valley of Jerusalem

4. Tartarus (G5020)

ταρταρόω tartaroō tar-tar-o’-o From Τάρταρος Tartaros̄ (the deepest abyss of Hades); to incarcerate in eternal torment: — cast down to hell.

Below, I’ve listed the full 13 times “Hell” is used in the NASB translation of the Bible. Sheol and Hades are always correctly translated as “the grave” in the NASB and other more accurate translations, which is why you don’t see any references below. I’ve included those words in our discussion simply because they will come up incorrectly as “Hell” in the KJV.

You’ll notice that NONE of the above 4 words actually translate to Hell. The closest is Hades, which is derived from Greek mythology and is never actually translated to “Hell” in academically accepted translations. Sheol and Hades are both always translated as “death” or “the grave” in the NASB and other more accurate translations. And as we are about to see, neither Tartarus nor Gehenna can be correctly translated as “Hell” either.

In other words, “Hell” is NOT actually in the Bible."

I believe in "hell" in the sense that when my soul feels hurt and tormented, that is a bad place for my heart and mind to be. When I think of Jesus and His loving teachings I am filled with peace and helps bring me out of that place.

While I don't believe in ETERNAL hell, I do believe in divine punishment. Those who do not follow the teachings Jesus preached (being loving, kind, empathetic, caring about social justice) will experience some sort of punishment. If it is not in this lifetime, I believe it will be in the next.

Do I believe they'll all be put in flames? No not really. I believe God will provide them with a consequence that will assist them in changing their perspective and changing for the better.

I don't believe people who don't worship the Christian understanding of God, yet follow what Jesus preached will be punished eternally. I don't think God will mind if we get the theology wrong but what we did get right was the act of loving our neighbour.

I've likely not explained this very well at all and I'm still growing and learning in my faith. If you have new perspectives you want to add onto this and more resources to provide to me, I am more that happy for you to share them!

If you are going to get upset with me in the comments for what I believe and tell me again and again that ETERNAL FIRE AND HELL is real, I am unfortunately not interested in that. I was taught that for many years of my life and it never brought me peace. It only made me feel further away from God because I didn't understand how He could be so hateful. Please don't come to my comment section and tell me my God is hateful. I deconstructed that notion long ago.

Let me know if you want me to explain anything better or provide more resources!

God bless everyone <3

#christianity #religion #christian #queer christian #universalist christian #universalism #episcopal #eternal hell #hell and heaven #anglican

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thetempleofthemasaigoddess · 2 months ago

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Ghosts CBS The Little Mermaid AU (sort of). Isaac x reader (sort of). With poll! (truly)

Imagine being a family acquaintance of Isaac when he was alive. You have fallen deeply in love with him, but never dared to confess your feelings, out of respect for his marriage vows and his wife, who you are friendly with. You are completely unaware of his real preferences.

A year before Isaac dies, you're abroad visiting a relative when you get in a freak accident, die, and become a ghost. You spend the next two centuries and more in that state.

You still think about Isaac. Your feelings for him haven't faded, and sometimes you wistfully wonder whether you should have declared your feelings to him; you would never debase yourself by entering into an illicit relationship, not to mention that Isaac was surely the sort of man who takes his marriage promises seriously. Last but not least, you never perceived any interest on his part towards you; he was friendly and polite, asking about your life and interests whenever your families visited each other or you met socially, but he never asked you to dance, nor you ever caught him looking at you in the way men look at women they have feelings for.

All things considered, maybe you did well keeping your feelings secret, and sparing both you and Isaac the embarrassment of a refusal; on the other hand, you think at times, if there was just a chance in a million that your affection might be reciprocated, maybe you should have told him. Even though you died young, and would therefore have had to leave him in any case, you would feel happy knowing that you were loved, even though your relationship would remain unconsummated and would only be a secret in your hearts.

You are quite content in your second life, and don’t expect things to change until the longed for moment when, as it has been explained to you, you'll be sucked off, when one day a ghost you've never seen before appears on the property, but not because he has died there.

The man introduces himself as Elias Woodstone, an emissary of Hell - which immediately makes you defensive, no matter how apparently friendly and debonair he looks. He has learnt of your feelings for Isaac, and has come to propose a deal: since the object of your affection has become a ghost as well, and while you normally wouldn't be able to cross the boundary of the place where you've dwelled since you died, Elias offers to move you to Woodstone Manor, where Isaac resides. In this way you'll be able to see the man you love again, spend time with him, and maybe even -given the fact his marriage vows had to be valid until death do us part- make him fall in love with you.

The proposal feels like a dream, but as you expected, there’s a caveat: if you don’t manage to earn Isaac’s love within a year, Elias will take your soul to Hell. As the good God-fearing woman you were raised to be, the prospect fills you with dread, but for the first time in both of your lives you decide to take the risk: anything would be better than spending the rest of eternity in doubt, wondering about what could have happened if you didn’t die young, hundreds of miles away from him, and dared to confess your feelings. There are several reasons why your plan might not work -Isaac might already be in a new relationship, or loyal to his wife’s memory, or still uninterested in you- but what if it does? What if for the first time in your life, you discover what it means to be loved?

“I accept.”

Elias grins evilly, and a moment later you find yourself at Woodstone, surrounded by ghosts you have never met before. You find a way to explain how you came there, crossing the ghost boundary of the place where you died and then moving to a place hundreds of miles away, but soon after every other thought disappears from your mind because Isaac is in front of you, more handsome than ever in his military uniform. He immediately recognises you, and is happy to see you. “Well, that’s a surprise! It’s not every day that you have a new ghost arriving on the property. Welcome to Woodstone Manor!”

And so the most important year of your life begins. From then on the relationship between you and Isaac deepens, and soon you become fast friends; you do all you can to make him develop feelings with you, and in time you grow to believe he does feel a certain fondness for you. You, in turn, are more infatuated than ever; he really is the man you want to spend the rest of eternity with, and while you are proud of yourself for not having propositioned a married man, and know that Isaac still thinks back fondly to his wife, in the privacy of your heart you dare believing that your fondest dream could indeed come true: that you, the fourth daughter of a family that barely had love enough for one, will for once be loved, as well as love in return.

What you don’t know is that you are loved indeed - just not by Isaac. Another ghost among those who live on the property has fallen in love with you, even though you only consider them a good friend - your dearest, even, after Isaac. Isaac knows of the other ghost’s interest in you and, believing the two of you would be a wonderful couple, has pressed them to confess their feelings for you, but the other ghost has always refused… knowing well that your heart is already spoken for.

Isaac is completely unaware of your love for him, sincerely believing what exists between you is only pure, platonic friendship; he often mentions that you would be an excellent partner for anyone lucky enough to earn your love, but while you cherished those words, hoping they were sort of an indirect confession until he found the right moment to properly tell you he’s in love with you, he never even suspected the lucky person in question was him. The other ghosts, in turn, soon realise what is going on between you, the hopeless love that you feel for Isaac and that he will never reciprocate, but no one ever had the courage to approach you, or him, about the fact.

You know that Isaac spends much time with Nigel Chessum, but while slightly jealous that Isaac enjoys another person’s company as well as yours, you have no idea of your friend’s true feelings for the British ghost - nor that the two of them have been secretly, awkwardly courting each other, a growing relationship made of stolen glances, shy smiles, hands that linger in each other a moment too long after a shake. Isaac has never told you about his feelings for Nigel: since you’re his closest and dearest friend, he knows he ought to, but admitting to himself that he is attracted to a man was hard enough, and sharing the issue with another person goes beyond his strength. Moreover, he knows you as a good Christian woman: what if learning of his proclivities disgusts and appals you? Your friendship is a treasure Isaac would be heartbroken to lose, and so he decides to keep the matter secret, at least for the time being.

As you enjoy Isaac’s company and cherish your time spent together, you haven’t forgotten the deal you made with Elias; if you won’t be able to earn Isaac’s love within a year, your soul will be lost forever, and you’ll spend the rest of eternity in hell. You have decided to wait until the last possible moment, hoping with growing desperation that your friend will declare what he feels for you, and otherwise -in case he can’t find the right moment, or is too shy to speak- you will do the declaration yourself.

Finally that day arrives; it’s Christmas Eve, exactly a year since your arrival at Woodstone, and you decide, out of desperation, to ask for Nigel’s help, because who else could advise you regarding how to talk to Isaac if not the second person he’s closest to? You walk to the shed where Nigel and the other British Revolutionary ghosts reside, and in your haste you open the door without knocking; a moment later you dearly wish you had, since it would have saved you the sight of Isaac and Nigel’s first kiss.

You scream; they both jump. Nigel looks supremely annoyed at your interruption, but Isaac looks completely terrified, as if you had found him with a bleeding corpse at his feet and the murder weapon in his hands. “It’s not as it looks! We were merely…” he stammers, but you are barely hearing him, as everything starts making sense. Part of you is disappointed he never told you the truth; after all you are each other’s closest friend, and you like to think you are an open-minded individual, who would never judge people by who they love. But most of all you are heartbroken, having realised that it was all in your head, that Isaac never loved you and probably never would. How blind, and stupid you have been!

“Please, wait! allow me to explain…” Isaac begs, reaching towards you, but you, unable to bear the humiliation, turn and run out of the shed, tears already spilling from your eyes… until, barely a few steps later, you find yourself face to face with Elias, looking very pleased with himself as he observes you. He has always known, you realise as dread falls over you; stopped in your tracks, only vaguely aware of the sound of Isaac running to reach you, you just know, without the need to ask, that Elias was already aware of your friend’s preference in men, and that therefore it was almost impossible that he would grow to love you, when he made you his offer. He tricked you with an impossible task, and only had to wait, without breaking a sweat, already knowing your soul would be his.

You are paralyzed as Elias walks towards you, eyes full of cruel pleasure. I do not want this, you desperately want to say, but not only you cannot, fear having sticked your tongue to your palate, you also already know it would be useless; you didn’t sign a contract -not that you ever could, being a woman of your time- or swore to God or anything of the sort, but you did accept the proposal and gave your word, which means you have no way of saving yourself.

“Well.” Elias starts, not even trying to hide his satisfaction “Ready to go down on me, dear?”

*****

How would you like this story to end? (Note that at least for the time being I have no intention of writing a full fic, this is just for fun and because I want to know what you guys prefer!)

1 - Isaac announces that he does love you - as his dearest friend in the world; according to the terms of the deal you have made with Elias you did succeed in your aim, which means that your soul is saved. You and Isaac make peace and remain best friends.

2 - You surrender to Elias, but he discovers that your soul is completely pure, having accepted his deal out of sincere love rather than lust or desire to own Isaac; your soul is saved. You and Isaac make peace and remain best friends.

3 - The ghost who has fallen in love with you offers their soul to save yours; Elias accepts, but the other ghost’s soul can’t be reaped because the selfless sacrifice makes it too pure. Your soul is saved, you and Isaac make peace and you begin a relationship with the ghost who has fallen for you.

4 - You are sucked off.

#Ghosts CBS #Isaac Higgintoot #Isaac Higgintoot x reader #Brandon Scott Jones #Bellona's stuff

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athousandis · 1 year ago

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ok ok ok let’s

so first: LOU! your performance was chef’s kiss like oh my god you put tommy into the 911 hall of fame. like imagine meeting these two guys who are best friends and then realizing you want to be friends with them so you start hanging out with one of them and the other one starts acting slightly odd about it but you don’t worry too much until someone actually gets hurts and so you figure out what’s going on so you go clear the air and explain that you missed some of the people in your life and wanted what they had and the other guy makes you feel like you are a part of it even after all the years and then the situation starts turning a little more flirty but you though that the two guys had a thing or something but then this other guy tells you that he was trying to get you to notice him and you think that maybe this could be going a different way and so you test your theory out a little and it seems to work and so you feel good and the other guy is over there have a completely new life-changing experience but you have to go to work so you make plans to see him again and it’s looking up expect yeah you really just were the reason someone had a huge realization about themselves and just left because you know that this is the kind of thing he needs to go through himself but you’re still so kind about it and reassuring because he needs it and you know what it’s like

second: the way the last scene played out was so intelligent, it starts with tommy thinking that he should do this in person so nothing is misunderstood and probably the knowledge that buck is best reassured in person. and he essentially tells buck that him being in their lives can be a good thing because they all have different aspects that make them good friends but he also tells buck that he was jealous about a family of kind and accepting people that he wasn’t able to have when he was at the 118. but like we know that despite not keeping in touch as much, tommy still had that 118 dog in him and dropped everything to help. and then buck goes through a realization that his jealousy was coming from a place he was unfamiliar with like we literally get to see him go through that in the scene. and tommy gets a little more confident about the situation because buck is starting to use his flirty voice and body language and so tommy figures he should take a chance. and so we see the true shock that buck experiences with kissing a man for the first time, like this is something he never thought about but like wow that just changed his life. and now buck is clouded with the emotion and joy of discovering a piece of himself. and tommy makes sure he didn’t cross a boundary (mwah beautiful) and he sees that it’s quite the opposite, he found something for buck that buck didn’t even know he was looking for. and then tommy asks buck out because he wants to explore where this can go, hopeful that he can at least have a good time with buck but he leaves because he knows it has to go slow because it’s all so new. and buck is going through it and probably spends the rest of the night going over and over everything in his mind. and tommy makes sure to bring it back to eddie and that buck needs to remedy the situation because nothing can start if eddie and buck are not eddie and buck.

third: on the complete one-in-a-million chance that oliver sees this, thank you. truly it has been so wonderful to see these last 24 hours unfold. thank you for understanding how much your character means to so many people, how the representation that buck brings is a way for people to see themselves on screen in a positive light. thank you for caring enough about telling a queer story but just telling a good story. you care so much about buck and we can see that in your performance. i am so happy for you and the rest of the 911 family and the fans. we have been trying to get here for a long time, and here we are. and it feels better than i could ever imagine. i can’t wait to see you continue to tell buck’s story <3

finally: to 911blr, wow what a night. i started watching 911 about two years ago but little did i know it would have such a big impact on my life. this show that i watched on a whim and now means so much to so many people, there is such a great community here. and though i just watch the show and spend many hours a day dissecting it all in my head, i would feel so different if it wasn’t for the community here. seeing everyone get so excited and enthralled over this show has made me feel less alone. to you all, who love and root for these characters and pairing and take an already wonderful show and make it better with your stories and analysis. the show would not be what it is or where it is without you.

i am really emotional about all of this and i still cannot believe this has actually happened. i am so excited for what the future has in store for these blorbos :)

#HAPPY CANON BISEXUAL EVAN BUCKLEY!!!!#i love you 911 #weewoo show #911 abc #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 season 7

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casspurrjoybell-23 · 3 months ago

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Friday Night - Chapter 23 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

It was five in the afternoon and six year old Melodie Conners and Hunter Dannings were hard at work making the best Sugar cookies ever.

Last Sunday, while River Conners was in the bathroom, his daughter had bombarded Hunter with a sticker-covered tablet and a determined stare.

"I want to make Daddy cookies."

"Okay, I'll get the ingredients..."

"No.. not now. Next time. I want it to be a surprise."

So before picking Melodie up from school today, Hunter went shopping.

He forced her to complete what little homework she had but the second the last blue space was colored in, she raced into the kitchen.

She refused to waste a single moment when cookies needed to be baked.

"Now we need one egg," Melodie told him, reading off of her tablet that rested on the kitchen island.

Melodie scampered off to the fridge and returned with the egg excitedly before handing it off to Hunter.

"You have to do it. Daddy doesn't let me crack eggs."

"What? You've never cracked an egg before?" Hunter asked.

Melodie shook her head no, a sad little pout on her face.

Hunter knew of plenty of parents who had their toddlers help with an egg or two.

He was honestly surprised River didn't do the same.

"How about this, I'll help you crack the egg," he told her, his smile widening when her face lit up.

"It will be our little secret."

Melodie was already agreeing to the clause of their deal, slipping between Hunter and the counter to prepare for the egg cracking.

Hunter tapped the egg a couple times on the counter before raising it above the bowl.

"Okay now, so grab it gently and then..."

Melodie's hands darted out, clasping the fragile shell with small fingers and a vice-like grip.

The shell shattered into a million pieces, all of them falling into the bowl of liquids below.

The two stared silently at the bowl for a moment.

"It's okay, River will just have crunchy cookies."

He and Melodie did their best to pick out the shell pieces but they were small and abundant.

After half an hour of picking, they accepted the cookies for what they were and moved on.

Melodie was much better at mixing the dough, a skill which came from her above average strength.

The two pulled off chunks of dough and one by one, rolling them into little balls.

Hunter enjoyed the lull of silence the simple task created. He was almost in a meditative state from making the cookie dough balls.

"Hunter?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you and Daddy kiss?"

His dough ball was flattened into a disk.

"What? Where did you get that idea?" Hunter was still sputtering.

He was panicked and confused and called out completely by the little girl blinking up at him innocently.

A furious blush erupted on his cheeks and he fanned at his face to get them to cool down.

"When Tiana and Naveen liked each other, they kissed," she explained calmly.

"And when Rapunzel saved Flynn, he kissed her."

Melodie continued to roll slightly too-big cookie dough balls as if nothing had happened.

She was simply stating the facts, ignorant to how her words shook the much older man.

What could he possibly say to a six year old about their relationship?

Most other adults could barely understand what River and Hunter were to each other, there was no way he could make Melodie get it and Hunter didn't know what the protocol was on telling kids about these things.

What if River wanted to tell her something different?

"Um, you'll have to ask your Dad about that," was the response Hunter landed on.

The perfect non-answer without pissing off his favorite single father.

"Okay," Melodie nodded, finally ending her terrifying interrogation.

"But if you guys do kiss, I'm okay with that. I think that it's a good thing."

Hunter's lips pulled up into another smile, fueled by this little girl's acceptance.

"Do you, now?"

"Yup."

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eiraswritings · 10 months ago

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august 26 - 27, 2024

This morning, I told myself that I’m doing better now and that it was better this way - how things have ended.

It’s better this way: I know I deserve better. I had thoughts about it in 2017, I felt like I was digging myself a deeper hole everytime conflicts arised. I was always the one who waved the white flag, I was always the one who apologizes. I was always the one at fault because that person put the blame on me. But silly old me, I took everything and thought of it as the things I need to work on myself. Looking back, there were mixed emotions when I said “yes” to a not-so-romantic proposal back then. But then again, I was really happy, I was true, I just don’t understand why was I always anxious when it comes to you.

Almost a year and a lot of someone’s fading feelings later… In 2018, I was pushed out of the home we built for two. It hurt but I accepted it. And not too long after, they were asking me to come back home and rebuild the connection, that they couldn’t fathom anyone else who will love them the way I did. They showed me minor changes in their actions but I failed to realize that they were pushing me to decide and take them back when I really shouldn’t.

I’m still healing from the things I never (and probably will never) talked about. I’m still healing from the sudden events last June. I’m still healing and accepting that I’ll never get the answers to my questions. I’m still healing from the way that person made me think about certain things - especially how I see myself. I’m still healing from the words that were stabbed deeply in my mind and moments I can’t get over. And lastly, I’m still healing from the million shattered pieces of my heart.

It’s 12:14 A.M as I’m writing this sentence.

It’s getting quite annoying to have someone and something on my mind every now and then. It’s even more annoying when I realize that the other person’s probably having the time of their life, probably forgotten about everything and probably handle it well since their feelings were easily washed away after some minor situation (an example of a minor situation is not being present at the concert they looked forward to).

It sucks holding someone’s hand all throughout the journey and having your heart broken when all you ever hoped for is a happily ever after with that person. It sucks because you got over a lot of stupid arguments and situations together but end up splitting up over something so small. No offense. (Well, who am I offending at this point?)

There are still some nights that I think about the last meeting I had with that person.

After seven years and seven months… we ended.

(Continuation of post - August 31, 2024)

Did I really mess up? Or are my feelings valid after all this time?

Was I overthinking too much? Was I too much? But why didn’t they explain their side and reassured me?

Why were they like that? What was the exact reason?

If they were upset over my cryptic posts, couldn’t I be upset about the things they also shared and liked at that time? I couldn’t be upset over them and the lack of answers I got, I couldn’t be upset about the mixed signals and the-things-I-never-really-opened-up?

Why were they holding my hand tightly on our last day? They cared about me that afternoon but at midnight and the next morning, there was a sudden turn of events. (Funny how this was the 7th day of the month. And they say that 7 is a lucky number.)

To be honest, I didn’t see that situation would be the end of a love story. We were happy - or maybe being the eternal optimist that I am, I could say that we were happy. I loved that person with my whole heart. I saw them as a partner that I’ll be spending the rest of my life with. They were my favorite person. They were my best friend. I did feel loved by them but I also felt like walking on eggshells whenever I saw something wrong or whenever I “did” something wrong.

I realized that I loved so intensely that I didn’t notice there were a lot of little red signs. I loved so intensely that I tried to understand everything. I loved so intensely that I gave them my heart sincerely. I loved so intensely that I was/am so heartbroken when we had to part ways. I loved so intensely that I couldn’t let go of everything so easily and quickly. I loved so intensely that I became too soft. I loved so intensely that I had to keep myself small. I loved so intensely that I forgot about me.

Here I am at 2:25 A.M.

Thinking about what went wrong and how did it end. When our last (at-home) dates were us laughing, playing games, watching movies and sharing food.

Still thinking about them from time to time.

“Out of sight, out of mind”, they said.

Well… not if you pay attention to the littlest details that they stay in your memory for a long time.

But I guess I really am doing better now.

I still have my moments but I’m better now.

I can be free and be myself. I don’t have to please them. I don’t have to feel bad when they don’t want to spend time or exert energy on the things I like. I don’t have to feel bad that I’m probably forcing them to do stuff with me. I don’t have to feel bad when I take interest in the things they like but they don’t do the same for me. I don’t have to worry about them getting upset with me for some reason. I don’t have to worry about their special friends, I don’t have to worry about the incomplete details of the stories, I don’t have to worry about them. I don’t have to worry about my actions when they don’t worry about how theirs affect me. I don’t have to worry about the upcoming events that they never really tell me about. I don’t have to worry about someone else.

I don’t have to cry at night because of some stuff I saw online.

I am free.

Thank you for letting me go. Again.

It hurt a lot but it’s probably just the consequence of loving too intensely.

Not yours (anymore),

Eira.

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empteacupbags · 1 year ago

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I hope this finds you well

A letter to something that would never happen

Not even in a million years

My message to a White Hyacinth, alive and well.

Yet I’m still waiting for you.

Sincerely, from the deepest depths of my heart, I hope you’re happy. I hope your family loves you, and is proud of your accomplishments. I hope your life is going smoothly. I hope she treats you well. I wish you nothing but the best for you, truly.

It’s funny, right? I was the one who ignored you - Who pushed you away, who left you on your own with your own body to piece together. But, then why are you the one who lives off happy, with a life so extremely promising?

How I keep on thinking about just what if I hadn’t sabotaged myself and continued on living with you. What if I had answered your text that day? What if I had chosen to return the everlasting gaze you kept on giving me that day? Oh, you were my first, tragically. I keep on thinking about the things we could’ve done, and what we could’ve had.

Maybe our messages would’ve lasted longer. Maybe I’d introduce you to my parents, or you’d introduce me to yours. Maybe we could’ve played a few games together, maybe we could’ve walked home together, or even worked on a school project together. Maybe I could’ve been more bolder, being alone with you.

I hated those ideas. It’s something I’ve never, ever known. Indulging into another unknown hole, another seemingly troublesome outcome with no use to my life. Maybe that’s why I left you - Even though things were so perfect, even if things were so aligned to what you and I wanted.

Of course I had to ruin it, right? But then I realised, we were bound to be so doomed. You’ve never known my Father, and I don’t know yours. Whether I had left you or not, we’d never last.

And maybe, this path was for the better. For you, and for me.

You’ve grown. You’ve become a rare flower - White Hyacinth, who’s petals who were once torn apart by a frustrated gardener now have leaves that shine so beautifully under the evening sky. I have not.

Really, my stomach has not ached at all since you. Those times where even just the mention of your name could shudder my bones and break my body.

I had loved you, truthfully. But you were so rare it felt so wrong for someone like me to be the one you were in love with. To keep entertaining this sad idea of ours, even though we knew exactly what could happen, I had to separate it.

It’s funny to me, how - Let me explain just a million more times; How lovely your life has been. You’ve found someone new, someone better, someone who knows your Father, someone who would treat you like you actually exist.

The contrast of a change, of your growth and mine. This year, I’ve loved you again. I’m greedy and I hate myself for falling into another hopeless hole again. This year, you won’t even look me in the eyes. I know you hate me, I know what I’ve done.

But I know my place, surprisingly. I won’t delve into anything of yours. I never had - Really. I just accepted and received what was given to me.

So, deep into this psychedelic hole of mine, and no one else’s, stuck into the depths of my own, kaleidoscope of mind I will rest only to your shadow. Only to your silhouette I will cling like it is an oath. I will not let go of my hand, from purposeless possibilities and dead feelings.

Maybe I’ll succumb to this hole in due time, or maybe I’ll cling into another’s shadow, and another, eventually so fixated on vain outcomes and die, from my own faults and my incapability to keep a heart that’s not mine.

Still. I wait for you.

#a thought

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dxllhcuse · 2 years ago

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Home wrecker by MARINA

"I broke a million hearts just for fun"

A song that honestly cause the creation of Kuroyuri, it is a song that truly defines who she is. Some people spread around rumor that she is a homewrecker due to the fact that they where envy of her beauty. With them being envy, they decided to make up a claim that she attempts to seduce her sister’s “husband” (her sister literally stole the husband), however that’s not the case.

I also have a TLDR all in the bottom just in case anyone want to know

My reason for associating this song is just how accurate the lyrics are to what Kuroyuri is dealing both human and demon life. When I listen to the song it reminds me how this character is free. She doesn’t belong to anyone and she feels satisfied if she on this high risk of affair.

“I don’t belong to anyone”

Kuroyuri in this song is her turning into a demon and finally being free of this sucky human relationship. She work in a brothel and is aware how some people don’t perceive courtesans as genuine love. She try her best to show genuine love to people,but they never return to her feelings and when someone does accept her love, she have been replaced by her own sister. Although her memories is gone due to being a demon, the experience she dealt with made her realize that she doesn’t need anyone to look for love for her. She can look for love by herself and is able to finally feel confident about herself.

“I broke a million hearts just for fun”

Kuroyuri is known to kill mostly couples,lovers or even husband/wife. She can sometimes disguised herself as a human being and also deceived other partner into being HER partner. If this is successful, she will continue to stay with them until she see them defenseless and eat them. Her most favorite organ of all time are the hearts, so she ripped them first and eat the rest. Some demon slayer sometimes want to find a reason why some demons does these actions of killing a human being. Some demon may say for survival, for muzan or for their hatred of the demon slayer corporation. Kuroyuri? She say she does it for fun (also for muzan, but that’s not the case in here lol)

She broke (ripped out their hearts and also deceive them) a million hearts, just for fun (she have no reason other than the lols)

“I guess you could say that my life's a mess, But I'm still looking pretty in this dress. I'm the image of deception”

She grew up in a place that truly don’t see her as a human being. Over the past few years of her life, they don’t the respect and love and care that any child need or just even a human being. The only person who give her genuine care is her foster mother,but her mother was killed and eaten by demon and Kuroyuri (or Sachiko) was still a newborn. Although they where a lot of trauma and struggles that Kuroyuri dealt with, as a demon she throw all of that and cover it up in her looks. You can explain to her everything about her backstory and she won’t be convinced that's her story. After all once you turned demon, your memories are gone. Deception means deceiving someone. This is what Kuroyuri does it as I explain previously. Who knows that her main image is not what even she is. She DO have a monstrous form,but disguises herself into more human.

“When everything is life and death. You may feel like there's nothing left. Instead of love and trust and laughter. What you get is happy never after, But deep down all you want is love. The pure kind we all dream of, But we cannot escape the past. So you and I will never last”

This quote is possibly the best quote I can able to describe Kuroyuri’s life. If there is ever a quote that sums up all of her life and her demon life, it’s this one. I don’t think there’s no explanation of me to tell everyone why because to me I feel like this quote is best to leave it without explanation.

Although I will say the part where “we cannot escape the past. So you and I will never last.” I will explain something. I like the fact that this also sums up her demon life and even though it is the only option for Kuroyuri, this is rather a curse to begin with. Not only demons are here killing innocent people,but it is a curse that brought upon by Muzan himself. He give his blood to other people as a way to turn into demons and Kuroyuri was one of them.

I'm not exactly sure which chapter or volume this quote stated, however this is the quote that he said to Kagaya "The heavens are not punishing me. Despite the hundreds, thousands of humans I've killed, I've been let off the hook. And I have never seen a God or Buddha over these thousand years." and this is something that is stuck to me. I like the idea how even though he wasn’t cursed by the gods/Buddha that the others around him DID get cursed. It’s pretty canon that the Ubuyashiki family got cursed due to the fact that they’re closely related to Muzan. If that’s the case then I wouldn’t be surprised to see if other demons also got cursed and Kuroyuri is one.

What is her curse? Is to never to have a soulmate.

She killed countless human and turned into a demon by using one the most powerful and evil demon’s blood. With that, her red string of fate is burned off, never to be connected with anyone. No one can be a soulmate of her due to her being a demon and the horrible things she have done. Can Kuroyuri fall in love? Well of course she can! Maybe the string will actually form more strings for her,but for now her string have been burned off.

TLDR; This song is an anthem song for her and it represents how no matter human life or demon life, she will stay miserable of love. She can prove to anyone that turning into demon was giving a second chance of life for her and gain confidence,but deep down she is still desperate for someone to give the love that she need since childhood.

#anyways here is lowkey an in depth of one of the song I associated with her #this song did genuinely made me inspire to make a demon slayer oc #so really she's the first of my demon slayer oc and I love her :)#🫀secrets i have held in my heart || headcanon

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brionysea · 2 years ago

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soooo vale of shadows on mike's playlist

Type 6 and insane

this line made me wonder if they were talking about the enneagram personality types and if that one specifically applied to mike, so i looked it up and...

yes. i'm gonna take that as an immediate yes

like. these could literally be from the personality section of a mike wheeler wiki page

i'm lowkey convinced that the duffers must have looked at enneagram types when making these characters just like i do

and then there's this bit...

which, if the manifestation theory is true (which the rest of the song heavily supports but that's a different post), explains everything

They are often filled with a nameless anxiety and then try to find or create reasons why.

do you ever notice how much better mike is in situations where he has something to fight against? he's not drifting. he's solid. he has purpose, he has the necessary intelligence and strategic capabilities and leadership skills, he has constant opportunities to prove his own bravery and importance to the people whose opinions he values (and therefore himself)

in normal life, he flounders. he can't convince his parents to let them play their game for 20 more minutes. he doesn't have anything productive to channel his grief into. he avoids his friends. he caves in on himself

that's just an interesting contrast, isn't it?

the annual tragedy coming to hawkins every year also serves to make him feel more like the person he wants to be - a brave knight, fearlessly fighting against the forces of evil - and he can carry that reassurance with him back to the mundane, suburban life that never makes him feel anything but trapped and worthless

but it never sticks, because his insecurities keep getting ripped right back open again, so the monsters keep coming back

this exchange from "the source" (👀) is also particularly interesting in this new context

Mike: They're conspiring against me.

Will: That's what you're concerned about right now?

Mike: It's not my main concern. It's just a sub-concern.

the implication is that mike's being ridiculous for worrying about the made-up idea of max "corrupting" el, but wouldn't it be fucked up if the main problem that he's supposed to be worrying about was made up too? if he's been the titular source the whole time?

idk, i think about the character consequences of a reveal like this all the time. and how obvious it would be in hindsight

but back to enneagrams:

once they establish a trustworthy belief, they do not easily question it, nor do they want others to do so

and this just. makes me a little bit crazy. intelligent late-comer characters like robin and erica aren't allowed to work with mike when he's making those bizarre leaps in logic that match up perfectly with how the UD works and what its weaknesses are, because their tendency to ask smart person questions -> "hey, how the fuck does he know that?" -> the whole game falls apart (and crushes mike with guilt in the process)

seriously, imagine a research scene like the one robin had in the library with nancy, but with mike instead. there wouldn't be an "i don't know" response to what they're looking for, there would be a dead-on response that turns out to correlate exactly with the magic answer they find half an hour later - if they even need to do research in the first place, because mike tends to just make shit up on the spot that's immediately accepted as the show's lore. robin would find that so weird and she would not keep it to herself, especially if it's backed up by a million other instances of mike knowing things he shouldn't like he does every season

the lack of familiarity with mike and how he operates is exactly what would lead to those weird patterns being questioned, because there's no instinctive "well, that's just mike" response to fall back on like there is with the core cast

this paragraph pretty much single-handedly convinced me that the show will end when mike's internal world comes into balance (that or when he dies, which i do and don't like thinking about in equal measure)

think about it: if this whole thing has just been one teenager's insecurities unknowingly being brought to life so that he can beat them back with a stick, when will it stop? when will it end? when he gains the type of self confidence that naturally comes with growing up and growing into himself, or when they die with him

mike might be okay with his death in those circumstances, because he thinks everyone else will be better off without him on an objective level of "the horrors will leave my friends alone forever", but characters like dustin and will and lucas wouldn't let that happen in a million years, no matter what their reactions to mike creating the horrors otherwise are

this makes me even more convinced that the season 4 threat - the one that's the perfect opportunity to tell the internal voices that don't think you have what it takes to make it in the real world to go to hell, if you have the kind of danger-induced determination and self-belief that he does - came from, and was meant for, mike

it would be interesting to determine what level he's at each season, with 1 being the healthiest and 9 being the unhealthiest, but i can't wrap my head around it. if anyone else wants to, please go ahead!

#stranger things #mike wheeler #manifestation theory #st posting

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faintblueivy · 5 years ago

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So Imagine...

A world where Bruce Wayne died as a child in that alley that day, Martha and Thomas Wayne grieve as normal parents. They DO NOT BECOME BATMAN AND JOKER.

Nothing ever remains the same after losing their little boy. So, Thomas buries himself in his work and Martha drowns herself in depression and pain. They do therapy and it works a little and life becomes bearable but...not happy.

One day, Alfred badgers the couple to go out and relax a little and buys them tickets for a circus - Haly’s circus. Everything was going nice and dandy and Martha was in awe of this little acrobat as much as the rest of the crowd when suddenly the rope snaps and the boy’s parents fall to their deaths - right in front of him and the gathering. Thomas is quick to jump in to see if he could help them in any way but Martha can see it in his eyes that they are as dead as they can be.

They return to home with heavy hearts and Martha can’t get the image of the little boy out of her head. His skin was a light shade of bronze but his dark hair and bright cerulean blue eyes reminded her so much of Bruce that her heart wouldn’t rest. So a few days later she uses her connections to know if the child is safe and well cared for, when to her immense horror, she is replied that he was shipped to Gotham Juvie due to the lack of foster homes. She is enraged.

She calls Thomas and Alfred and lets them know about the little acrobat’s situation and declares that she was going to adopt him. They hesitate a little but she is not to be deterred as she goes ahead and brings the little boy home.

Richard John Grayson - Wayne. Or Dick, as he likes to call himself.

He is adamant that he wants no parents and Martha is fine because not only that she is old enough to be not his mother but also because no child can ever be her Bruce.

“You can just call me Grandma then.” She tells him.

His eyes are wide but he nods and then smiles and Martha, in a long while, has never felt this happy.

Her new Grandson, despite losing his parents, is a ray of sunshine with unlimited supply of energy and the cold and empty manor is warm and happy again.

Dick is a little charmer and even after Thomas and Alfred’s initial reluctance, they immediately fall in love with the boy and one day, when Martha comes down to the morning breakfast, she hears a happy, deep rumble - one she has not heard in many years. Thomas is laughing.

There on the dining table, seated beside Dick, was Thomas laughing. Her eyes water at the scene and Alfred, who is standing beside her offers her a handkerchief. None of them mention how his own eyes are wet too.

...

Dick is sixteen, a brilliant boy in academics as much as they disinterest him but an invincible athlete. Martha has been told time and time again that her grandson is undoubtedly a international level gymnast. But he is a teenager.

And teenagers steal their grandparent’s ‘coolest’ car and rush off into the night. But they don’t come back with a little battered and bruised, homeless kid tucked under their arm.

“He had jacked three tires off your car. When I confronted him, he tried to hit me with a tire iron.” He says, amused, as Thomas tries to convince the child to show him his injuries.

“I didn’t do nothin’! He’s a fuckin’ big boob liar!” They boy screams, his blue green eyes glaring daggers at Dick.

“Language.” Both her and Alfred warn simultaneously.

After hours of struggle, interrogation and fuck you’s, Martha learns that the child’s name is Jason. He is twelve. Mother died form drug overdosing and Dad is a petty henchman of some crime lord. He ran away from multiple foster homes because they are so abusive that the child feels safer on streets.

Martha goes on a rampage over Gotham’s foster care after that. She did not donate millions of dollars annually for children to feel safer on streets. After of lot of talks and reassurances and promises, Martha acquires her second grandchild.

Jason Peter Todd - Wayne.

Jason is tiny. Malnourished like Leslie said. But he is sharp, observant and hungry for knowledge. Martha and Alfred joke that Jason is Thomas' soul child. Where Dick had loved activity and movement, Jason liked quiet and stability - Martha thinks that running and fighting for survival on streets every single day does that you. So evenings often found her and Dick in the garden but Thomas and Jason in the library pouring over as many books as they can.

And to nobody's surprise, despite their rocky start, the boys become inseparable. They are outwardly different, with clashing interests and behaviors but Martha can see that they both carry the same cores of light.

When the morning of Dick’s Parent’s death anniversary comes around, both her and Thomas find Jason on Dick’s bed, arms curled protectively around his big brother. For the first time in so many years, Dick wakes up to warmth surrounding him, not nightmares.

...

Both her grandsons attend Gotham Academy so when she receives a phone call from the Principal, she is half surprised and half not. When she enters the Principal’s office, both her boys are standing on one side, Jason with his head hung in shame and Dick glaring daggers at the other side. The boy who seems to be injured is being coddled by his mother who is shooting nasty glares at her grandchildren periodically.

Then she notices another small boy standing beside her boys, trying to melt into the wall.

Tim Drake. The only son of Jack and Janet Drake of Drake Industries.

She arches a questioning eyebrow at Dick who shakes his head and then she turns to the Principal.

“What happened here?”

“Glad to see you’re here Mrs. Wayne.” The Principal says, pushing his glasses up his nose, “I regret to inform you that your ward Jason Peter Todd attacked this young man here.” He gestures to the other boy.

“Madam, Gotham Academy is a prestigious school and we do not encourage physical violence here. Yes, it might have been acceptable from where he came from but it won’t be, here. I hope you give us the right to punish Mr. Todd here appropriately.”

Martha inwardly bristles at the jab at her grandson and says crisply, “Mr. Wayne.”

“What?”

“He’s not just Todd. He is a Wayne. Please remember that.”

“Principal Sir.” Dick cuts in and Martha is confused because as hyperactive as Dick is, he is a mannerly child and knows better than to cut in a conversation like this but what draws her attention is the chilling tone which Dick almost never uses. Dick continues, “Why don’t you tell our grandmother more of your regrets? Or the prestigious Gotham Academy believes that bullying is acceptable.”

Martha has been told what she needs to know.

“Jason?” she calls out to her youngest grandson softly, “What happened?”

Jason is quiet when suddenly Tim Drake moves forward. She can see he is scared the way his hands shake but determination shines in his blue eyes. She likes him.

“I want to say something.”

He narrates the tale of how he was being bullied and how the boy on the other side with his mother threw his science project model away and broke it and physically tried to attack him when Jason stepped in to save him. Martha felt nothing but pride at Jason’s righteous indignation.

Tim also explained that Jason exercised immense control even after these bullies called him ‘street rat’, but the verbal spar intensified after Dick was insulted for his Romani heritage, but it came to fist fight after Thomas and Martha were insulted, and Bruce’s death was made fun of.

Her gaze snaps to the other three occupants of the room and they are all in various shades of pale. Apparently, the Principal had not done his homework.

“Principal” She says icily, “Yes, I give you the authority to punish Jason appropriately but only when this young man here”, she gestures to the boy who was now cowering behind his mother, “Is dealt with in the same way.”

After threatening the Principal in soft words but harsh tone about not tolerating to having her grandsons bullied the next time, she grabs Jason’s hand to drag him away from these people who don’t deserve his company, when her eyes fall on the little trembling Tim.

She offers him her hand.

He stares at it, shocked but after an encouraging smile from Dick and a small shove from Jason, he takes it shyly.

And since that day, Tim becomes a member of Martha’s family. The boys stay together so much that even Thomas forgets that Tim is not theirs.

Tim’s upbringing sends Martha’s grandmother instincts on a haywire and she resents the Drakes for their criminal neglect towards Tim.

It is rewarding that Tim flourishes in their attention.

She learns that his hobby is Photography and he is excellent at it. And he is a genius when it comes to science, computers and gadgets. He likes crime thrillers movies and books and often picks them apart with his scarily good knowledge about forensics that leave the rest of the family in awe and slightly disturbed.

The dam breaks when one day Jason and Dick return back from school telling her that Tim was absent today and they are worried about him. When they later sneak into the Drake mansion in the evening, Thomas receives a frantic call from their oldest grandchild that Tim was burning with fever. Because Thomas is a doctor, they save Tim before anything serious happens.

This time, it is Thomas who sues the Drakes for Tim’s custody after him and Jason had, had enough of ‘Timbo’s shitty parents’.

“Timothy?” Martha brushes his sweat soaked forehead gently. “Would you like to be a member of our family legally?"

Tim is hesitant about this but he admits that he likes Wayne manor much better than he ever liked Drake mansion. He confesses that he loves Jason and Dick as brothers and sees Martha, Thomas and Alfred as his grandparents as well.

The long custody battle ends with both Jack and Janet Drake dying at the hands of two different tragedies, leaving Tim an orphan, but also with a loving family consisting of three grandparents and two brothers by his side.

Timothy Jackson Drake - Wayne is adopted into the Wayne family as her and Thomas’ third grandson.

...

A year after they adopt Tim, Thomas comes home with a small girl on his side. She is clearly an east Asian in heritage with dark hair and dark eyes and is speech deprived. Thomas is clearly distressed after Cassandra - her name is Cassandra - is safely secured in warm bed in a nice room across Jason’s. He calls her, the three boys and Alfred to his study to explain about the small girl.

He talks about how Gordon brought the girl to him and after hours of wordless, signed and clumsily sketched on paper conversations with the little girl they were able to determine that Cassandra was hiding from her father who was an assassin and wanted to drag the little girl down the same path before she ran away. The more he talks about the damage and abuse the girl had experienced at the hands on her own father, the more furious Martha becomes. When Thomas’ explanations ends, Jason slams a punch into the wall making a dent but no one has the heart to reprimand him for that.

The following morning, Martha can see that her three boys have unanimously decided that they are adopting Cassandra as their sister. She is treated like a Princess, and given the nick name ‘Cass’.

Slowly but surely, Cass learns what it means to love through Dick’s bright kindness, Jason’s quiet protection and Tim’s infinite patience. After her father is finally apprehended, the family celebrates.

Cassandra Wayne, soon after, becomes the beloved Wayne Princess of Gotham.

Martha and Thomas often accompany their only granddaughter to her speech therapy lessons, so after six months of her adoption, at dinner, she places a kiss on everyone’s forehead - her three brothers and three grandparents, stands at the head of the table and croaks out, slowly, “Thank...thank you.” All of them stare at her flabbergasted, but it appears that she was planning to shock them even more.

“You...Love. Love you...”

The silence that follows her broken but sure words is deafening. Surprisingly it is Tim who breaks it as he scrambles out of his chair and launches himself at Cass, wrapping his arms around her and both Jason and Dick follow him, grabbing both their youngest siblings fiercely.

A quiet sob breaks her out of the trance and she smiles when she watches Thomas furiously wiping his tears from the sleeve of his shirt. The last time he had cried was at Bruce’s funeral. And Martha is infinitely grateful that this time these are happy tears.

...

Sometimes Martha wonders what would have happened if Bruce had lived. If these children are her grandchildren then does that mean they are Bruce’s kids? Had Bruce lived, would he have accepted these gaggle of kids that her and Thomas have collected over the years as his own? Would he have kids of his own?

Her questions are answered when one day she hears a slight commotion in the entrance is surprised to see a young woman with a sword threatening Alfred.

“I want to meet the Master of this house. Let them know immediately.” She demands in an authoritative but silky voice, and Martha suddenly sees the Toddler clutched in her arm.

“What is it?” Martha speaks as soon as she can when the woman notices her. She looks surprised for a second but immediately schools her features as the baby fusses.

“You’re alive.” She whispers and before any of them could make an indignant comment about her wordings, she says, “It appears that I might have traveled in to the wrong universe.”

Now that is interesting. Martha lives in a world where they are protected by aliens...so, it is certainly worth hearing for.

Martha offers the young lady an invitation for tea which she accepts. She notices how the woman carries herself with lethal grace and dignity as if she was a Princess but much more. As they sit and Alfred leaves to bring the promised team Martha notices how the woman’s eyes sweep over the place.

“How may I help you?”

Her voice attracts the attention of the toddler and this time, he is not clutched tightly enough to his mother’s chest to turn his small head and look at her. Martha gasps. Because the child looks too much like Toddler Bruce. But instead of the blue eyes like her son, this child has glowing green ones, like his mother. But still, the resemblance is uncanny.

“Yes, he is your son’s.” The woman answers the unasked question.

She is explained the existence of Multiverse, and it’s workings and how Bruce survived instead of them in that world, met Talia (the woman’s name is Talia Al Ghul) and had a child but had to leave. Talia mentions the reason she came here was because her son’s life was in danger and Talia’s father wanted to raise her son as an assassin Prince and a tool for him to use. Talia’s solution to protect her son was for her to give her son to the Bruce of this world to raise, since the Bruce of that world had gone missing.

“I can raise him.” Martha suddenly declares and the woman looks at him shocked. “I will not raise him into a life of violence but I can certainly protect him and give him a happy civilian life.”

Talia looks unsure, hesitant, but says, “I...have been a warrior since the day I can remember. Never once have I ever thought of my son not being a warrior. He was...born to be one.”

Martha smiles. “He doesn’t have to be one. Yes, his life will be infinitely different than the one you imagined but...he will be well loved and protected. I can assure you of that.”

“Damian.” Talia whispers as he deposits the baby in her arms after a lot of consideration. “His name is Damian.”

She looks at her son tenderly one last time and places a kiss on his forehead and Martha’s heart breaks a little for the young mother.

“Will you return back for him?” Martha asks as she follows the Talia to the door.

“No.” Talia whispers, her voice strained. “I will not. Any action taken by me is monitored by my father closely. If I return back, then he might know that I have left Damian here and I cannot let that happen. He is yours, forever.”

Martha gives her a sad smile. “You’re a brave and good mother Talia. Thank you for doing what is best for your son.”

She nods, not turning to look at Damian one last time as she leaves the manor grounds, never to return.

Martha looks at the baby secure in her arms and her lips quirk up into a grin at the sight of two curious green eyes watching her with interest.

“Welcome to the family, little Damian.”

When she introduces the new addition to the family, Thomas is dumbfounded. Dick is ecstatic at the prospect of having a new baby brother, Jason is secretly pleased, Cass is happiest and Tim looks unsure.

That’s how Damian Wayne - Al Ghul joins the family.

Damian fits in their home spectacularly. After few days of hesitation, like he had with Dick, Thomas takes to Damian quickly. He has an epic competition going on with their eldest grandson to become the baby’s favorite. Damian refuses to sleep without Thomas but his tantrums are only controlled and won over by Dick. Damian loves Jason manhandling him and giggles happily when the older boy throws him in the air or swings him around. Damian loves Cassandra because she knows what he wants before any of them do. And Cass loves to carry her little brother around to watch birds and animals in the manor grounds.

The only person Damian seems to not get along with is Tim and the older boy seems not be fond of him either. Because Damian wants everything Tim does and the older brother has to compromise for Damian every time. But Martha has to bite laughs a lot now a days because almost everytime Damian falls asleep, it is with Tim in vicinity. And she has caught the older boy tenderly covering Damian in his favorite blanket more often than not. Martha thinks that this is kind of cute but keeps her opinion to herself.

Her little grandson is quite protective of his siblings though. Anytime someone upsets any of his siblings, they are threatened with scowls, growls and even bites and stabbings in extreme cases.

Like last time when Mrs. Park made fun of Cassandra’s speech impairment, Damian almost bit her finger off. Damian hates one of Dick’s racist colleague (they all do) so much that anytime the man enters his field of vision, the first thing Damian gets his hand on is thrown at the guy’s head. With deadly precision. And last time when Mr. Link had called Jason ‘street rat’ for personally volunteering charity work for poor and homeless, Damian had smeared his juice and drool covered hands on the Man’s thousand dollars suit. And when one time, a reporter had infiltrated a Gala and chased Tim around to ask uncomfortable questions about his parent’s death and the Wayne’s involvement in it, Damian, noticing Tim’s distress had stabbed the reporter with a fork with no hesitation.

Martha is still not sure if she should encourage or reprimand Damian for that.

...

As she sits on the head of the table with Thomas on her side and Alfred on the other end, she wonders how miraculous it is for her to have all these children in her life.

Dick is engaged in an animated conversation with Stephanie who was introduced to the family as Tim’s girlfriend. Barbara, the daughter of James Gordon and Dick’s girlfirend/or not was helping Cass pile up food on her plate. Damian and Tim were bickering over something as usual but Jason trying to hide his snickers in guise of drinking water which made Martha sure that the something was Jason’s doing.

These people were her family. The ones she had gained after losing Bruce. She wonders, if there was a universe where Bruce got to meet her grandchildren.

Would he accept them? As family?

Would he love them? As family?

She brightly smiles when the multiple sets of eyes turn to her waiting for her to blow the candle.

“Happy Birthday Martha.”

Thomas says warmly, his voice thick with emotion and she meets his gaze and sees the love, affection and thankfulness in his eyes for this family that they had created after their earth shattering loss. She knows what she wants as she blows the candle on the cake flickering in front of her.

I wish for us to be family in every universe.

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byicarus · 2 months ago

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"well, there's never any better hands than the artist's! but i will take good care of it," maddox promised with a big smile curled up on the corners of his lips. he found himself smitten with isaac, butterflies in full flight in the pit of his stomach. "it'll make me smile every time . . . i mean, it's really great, isaac. i was kinda g-gobsmacked when i saw it," he admitted, his alabaster cheeks turning a soft shade of pink. never in a million years did he suspect anyone would be inspired by him, but isaac was clearly taking everything he knew and flipping it on its head. he had goosebumps on his arms, even despite the blazer on his frame. "you think they're cute? well, in that case . . . i think i might like 'em!" maddox said with a giggle. "you should wear them! i wanna see 'em, i'll bet they're really cute . . . i'll even do the same t'mine, and we can match. both be artists who wear our creativity on our sleeve . . . or jean, i guess," he went on. the more he talked with isaac, the more enamored he became. he was as precious as they came — with his wispy brown locks and slight nervous stutter. maddox's heart was practically skipping a beat every time that voice — as sweet as honey — fell upon his ears. "it so is, isaac! i mean, don't get me started . . . i'll go on for at least an hour on how handsome you are!" he chuckled. his face heated up as isaac continued to shower him in compliments. maddox wasn't used to being the center of attention, but it felt nice to captivate someone for once — especially when they were so darn cute! "ethereal? that's like a word for fairies and angels! you surely must have me confused with someone else," he said with a small pout. his blue-green eyes were fixated on isaac, taking in every last detail he could of the boy from his pretty face to how his legs hung from the stool. he was as precious as they came! "i think that's really cool. i can't think of a better way to express yourself . . . it just goes to show how special and personal yours is," he hummed sweetly. "it begs the question though . . . w-what color are you feeling right now?" there was a sweet smile on his face, and his hand reached out to rest atop maddox's, thumb stroking against the soft skin. "uh huh . . . i started drawing with my mom when i was little, and i just couldn't stop. i used to stay in and draw while the other kids went out for recess. used to get picked on for it by a lot of them," he explained with a sigh. it had never been quite easy for maddox — it was hard to feel comfortable when he felt at odds with his own body, and taunting from the other kids hadn't helped certainly. maddox swore he could feel himself swoon as that soft hand brushed away a curl from his face, a soft smile beaming at isaac. "i can tell . . . it's so detailed, i mean, it doesn't even look like a sketch. it looks real," maddox gushed. he whipped out his own sketchbook, pencil in hand. the vanishing sunlight poured in through the window, casting a golden hue over isaac's face. he looked unreal, so perfect it had to be artificial. his hand reached out to pop a button on the boy's shirt before pulling back and starting to sketch an outline. "you're perfect as you are," maddox assured him. "i do have one condition though . . . if you want to keep it, you're gonna have to kiss me." it was a huge move, one he almost regretted after the words poured from his lips . . . there was a nagging voice in his head that this was his chance, that he wouldn't ever get this moment again . . . so against all odds, maddox chose to live on the wild side a little — the worst that could happen to him was isaac would say no. he'd be heartbroken, but he'd accept it . . . anything to get to bask in his glow!

"i'm sure it'll be in much better hands, considering i can't even keep my sketchbook in my bag," isaac chuckled softly. "but thank you, a-and i hope it makes you smile a little bit everyday... w-when you look up at it." isaac had, of course, been complimented for his talent before — but never by his muse. maddox's beauty was the only reason he'd been able to pick up his pen since he left home, and it only seemed right to pour as much into maddox as he'd received. "n-no... oh god, no. i think they're, like, the cutest thing in the whole world," he replied, hands trembling at his sides. "it's, like... i have these jeans, right? and one day i got really bored, and i stitched a bunch of flowers on them, but i could never wear them out... b-but you? you wear all of your creativity right on your sleeves. no one could ever look at you and not think you were an artist." isaac seemed to settle into himself, cheeks painted soft pink as he gushed over maddox. someone as painfully gorgeous as he had no business entertaining him, and isaac was certain that the absolute dream he was living in would fall apart before his eyes any second. it only made it that much easier to fawn all over the boy like he had lost total control of himself! "oh, please... that is so not true," isaac replied with a chuckle. "if anything, that would be you... except, i don't really think that handsome is the right descriptor for you. i mean, you're obviously very attractive... b-but in an ethereal kind of way. sorry if that's offensive, 's just — you're not just pretty, you're beautiful." isaac and maddox seemed to be a perfect fit. they were far too shy to ever make a move unprompted, but fate had stepped in and worked its magic. isaac took the seat that maddox offered him, gangly legs hanging from the stole as he sat his bag on the floor. "that answer is hand-in-hand with the whole therapy thing, actually — i, uh, have a lot of trouble articulating my feelings? and when i was little, i used to describe my feelings like colors, and my therapist took notice and gave me paper and markers in a session, and i was able to speak more clearly when i was drawing... so i, uh, i just sorta kept doing it," he explained, paired with a small shrug. "you've been drawing since you were little too, right? you, uh... you can always tell when someone does it naturally or if they have to try too hard at it. your drawings are very, um... authentic." as the sun went down outside, maddox's beauty only intensified. isaac almost couldn't help but reach out and tuck a curl behind his ear, wanting to see the entire picture in its rawest, most natural form. "y'know, your hair was one of my favorite things to draw," isaac said softly, nibbling on his lower lip. his hands were now folded atop his lap, and he rocked nervously on the stool. "oh, you... uh... you want to draw me?" isaac asked, swallowing around the lump stuck in his throat. he had never been on the other side of someone's easel, but even he couldn't deny that the idea was intriguing. "um, yes. okay... yes. sure," he stammered. "just, like... right here? or do you want me to, like... move? or pose? i'm, uh... i'm at the whim of your brush, maddox — or your pencil, i guess."

#𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃: maddox thompson.#𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃: maddox x isaac 001.

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helpimhyperfixating · 4 years ago

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Merman Jotaro living in Y/N's house. He stays in either the tub or in the backyard pool, or in an inflatable kiddie pool in the living room where's he's mesmerized by the TV

Stay - Mer! Jotaro x Reader

Word Count: 3589

Never in a million years did you expect your life to take a turn like this. You met and befriended a Merman a few months ago. He demanded that you return to him regularly - which you did. All in all, it was already crazy to think about. But then fall came and going to the beach was starting to get colder and colder. The merman - Jotaro - he didn’t seem fazed by the chill, you however, didn’t much like the cold water and breeze that accompanied visiting your local sea shark.

So, you explained that it was getting a bit cold for you to come this often and stay so long, saying you would come a little less but when spring and summer came around, you would gladly come every other day maybe even every day again.

Little did you know, a certain merman was not happy with that.

So here you now stood, in your garage, with a fucking massive Mer in the back of your pickup truck.

“Jotaro what the fuck!?” You nearly screamed when you saw him casually sitting in the back.

“Don’t be noisy.” Jotaro snarled back and you slapped his tail that was within your reach.

“I’ll be as noisy as I want! What the hell are you doing here?!”

“Good grief, isn’t it obvious?” He questioned and you splayed your arms out in disbelief, clearly stating that- no it wasn’t!

This ticked him off a little cause, were you really that dumb? Could you not see Jotaro had been trying to court you for weeks? And then you had the gal to say you were going to leave him and then get mad when he followed?! The fucking nerve.

When you didn’t get an answer and only had a silent death stare directed at you (as if that was supposed to explain things) you sighed loudly.

“Okay. Guess this is a thing now. You’re looking dry, so we need to get you in some water, come on.” Walking over to the back of your pick up, you unhooked the latches and opened the back, allowing for a flat surface for Jotaro to slip off.

After getting off with a loud smack, Jotaro started tiger crawling into your house. Looking around curiously as to all the new things he was seeing. So this is where you lived whenever you went away from him?

“C’mon keep going, you have to get up the stairs.” You spoke from behind him and he looked back at you with an eyebrow raised.

“Stairs?”

“Yeah. That, right there.” You pointed at the staircase leading to your second floor that sat to the right. “I’ve got to get you into the bath, mister.”

“Bath? You said you had a pool.” Jotaro spoke in confusion but you sighed.

“Did you really figure out that you could- oh my god.” You dragged a hand over your face and muttered to yourself ‘smart fucking fish’ before clearing your throat. “Any other day, yes. Today? No. It’s the last good and sunny day today so people are outside. It’s been forecasted to rain and get colder soon so people are outside en masse to enjoy the last bit of sun and I don’t want them to see you.”

“Of course.” Jotaro grumbled, a faint annoyed growl leaving him as he rested his chin on his arms. He simply sat like that for a few seconds, looking around before he remarked, “Your floor is dirty.”

At that you made an offended noise. “Excuse me, I clean my floors very well, thank you very much. I just didn’t expect a giant fucking merman to act as a duster and health inspection in one today.”

At that he huffed out a chuckle that made you crack a bit as well before you twice lightly slapped his tail, to both get his attention and urge him to go. “You’re really looking dry, let’s get you up those stairs.”

Easier said than done.

Jotaro was about a third of the way up the stairs now, but crawling up when you have a massive and heavy tail behind yourself that you cannot use to help yourself, is quite difficult.

Each move of his arm was met with an annoyed or angry grumble about having to do this. Why couldn’t your neighbours just be indoors then? Why did he have to do all bloody this? (Not once did the thought of going back to the sea cross his mind though.) as he was yet again lifting his arm to place it on the next step higher, his eyes suddenly widened in shock when he felt two hands be put on his tail. With a light pink blush on his face he looked backwards, seeing you with closed eyes and straining to lift his tail to try and help him.

“Jesus, why is this so heavy.” You spoke out through grunts, still barely managing to lift it.

“It’s twice your size, why do you think?” Jotaro answered with his usual gruff tone, but the redness of his cheeks flared out all the way to his ears when you wrapped your arms around it, pressing your chest to the back of it as you tried to lift it once more. “I-I’ll be fine. Just give me a minute.” Jotaro cleared his throat before turning his head forward again to get the image of you holding his tail out of his head.

Once he found himself calmed down enough, he continued his slow trek upwards.

- - - -

It took a bit, but Jotaro was in your tub. And by god did he not fit. Even with folding his tail, half of it was still hanging out.

“I- we’ll work on it.” You sighed before leaning over him, turning the knob that regulated heat all the way down to about 18°C to 19°C since you did a quick search as to what the ocean temperature was like during this time of year.

With that set, you turned on the tap. The water splashed onto his tail and Jotaro jolted for a second, curiously looking down at how the water flowed out afterwards.

Going to quickly grab a large measuring cup from the sink in your kitchen downstairs, you returned to your bathroom to sit beside the tub and briefly held it under the running water until it was filled, turning and pouring it further down his tail. A small, barely noticeable sigh of relief left Jotaro when you did that and you smiled a bit to yourself before starting to repeat the motion.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” You spoke between pouring cups, also pouring it over the part of his tail that was hanging out. You had put a towel on the floor by the crack of the door, already accepting that this entire room was gonna be flooded, so you had no qualms with doing it.

“I see it differently.” Was his cryptic response and you deadpanned.

“Of course you do.”

The tub was now filled for two thirds and just to get back at him a little, you filled your cup once more, before abruptly turning and pouring it straight over his head.

Jotaro didn’t flinch but he did turn his eyes to you, sending you a look, to which you giggled. Bringing your arm back under the tap, you filled the measuring bucket again, a sly grin on your face as you moved it back to his face.

Jotaro was faster though, as he grabbed onto your wrist before you could angle it over his head. “Y/N, don’t.” He warned, sending you a stern look. Your surprised ‘o’ face turned into a smirk however, as you simply tilted your wrist forward and splashed the water directly in his face.

An evil giggle left you but it was stifled when Jotaro used his free hand to grab the cup from you and throw it across the room, using his grip on your wrist not a second later to pull you towards himself.

Your balance tipped over the bathtub but you managed to catch yourself with your free hand, slinging your arm around Jotaro’s shoulder to stop yourself while the arm stuck in his grip now touched the tiles of the wall.

He had attempted to pull you into the bathtub but you managed to catch yourself as your upper body now hovered over it.

Or, at least, that’s what you thought.

Jotaro never intended to pull you into the bath. Releasing your wrist, Jotaro instead placed his hand on the side of your neck and jaw, putting his other on your side to pull you closer towards himself and lock you in place. All of this happened in less than a second and a surprised squeak left you.

Jotaro found the sound absolutely adorable and when his teeth nipped at the skin of your neck, you did it again, just much louder this time, making the merman chuckle.

“I warned you.” You heard the smugness in his voice, making you take a shuddering breath.

“O-Okay, I get it. Can you let go now?” You were starting to get very flustered, feeling Jotaro’s breath against your neck as well as an occasional brush of his lips on your skin.

Your question earned you another nip however, this time a little closer to your shoulder, Jotaro having pulled your shirt away a bit to expose it. “Not what I want to hear.”

“You want to hear something?!” You exclaimed, making Jotaro let out a ‘mhm.’ Him shifting his face, almost as if he was looking for another place to playfully bite at you. “I- I-“ You started rambling out things but Jotaro was no longer focused on that.

It was like you put a spell on him. Jotaro had never before felt the urge to court someone before. And then you stepped into his life, being so kind yet always ready with a witty retort whenever he shot you one. And now, he had you so close, almost pressed into his chest, breathing in your intoxicating scent.

Without pause, Jotaro opened his mouth and locked his jaw onto the spot where your neck met your shoulder, a little further down.

Oh how he wanted to claim you. He wouldn’t! But the thought of how he simply had to just clamp down and bite a little harder, marking you as his, was way too tempting to not at least tease. Just get a small taste. The tips of his teeth ever so slightly punctured through your skin and Jotaro closed his eyes in bliss.

All the while, you froze and swallowed, because, that was not just a little nip from his front few teeth, this was a lot of them. A slight pain flared up where he bit and you squeezed his shoulder that you were leaning onto. “Jotaro?” You meekly let out and he then started making a noise that he- was that purring? You didn’t even know he could.

You didn’t dare move nor speak a word, not knowing what was going on and just listening to the calming sound coming from him for the next minute.

Finally Jotaro figured that was enough, lifting his teeth away and silently admiring the very light and small mark he made. It wouldn’t scar or stay, but Jotaro already loved the look of it. He leaned his head down and ran his tongue over it, tasting the faintest bit of your blood as he licked it away, treating your wound with utmost care.

This you allowed, a bit more relaxed by the familiar behaviour, for he had done this as well when you had cut yourself on some broken glass someone had left half buried in the sand.

Finally he let go and you quickly shot up, standing straight as an arrow next to the bathtub.

Jotaro was being forward. He knew that. Maybe even a bit too much so. But he felt he could risk it. Now that he was literally in your house, he didn’t have to worry about his forwardness scaring you away. You literally couldn’t run and avoid him. If you hadn’t picked up on his signs up until now, he had to make them more obvious; marking where the mating mark would come being one of the most obvious things he could think of.

“That’s for not listening to me.” He remarked and you opened and closed your mouth like a guppy, staring wide eyed at your tiled wall before shaking your head and snapping out of your state, slapping your hand onto your shoulder, briefly forgetting he had just licked you there and scrunching up your nose a bit cause- ew.

Lifting your hand back off you wiped it on your pants before walking to the cup Jotaro had thrown on the floor, picking it up and walking back over, nearly slipping as you did. This made Jotaro flinch to try and catch you but you already steadied yourself, meaning all that accomplished was throwing more water on the floor, the reason you nearly slipped.

After returning to his side, you continued trying to completely wet him; neither of you really saying anything, just staying in a comfortable silence.

After another ten minutes however, you figured that was good enough.

“Alright!” Slapping the edge of the tub, you smiled at the Mer. “I think that’s good enough. In about three hours the sun will go down, then we can get you from here to the pool.”

With that you stood up, but before anything else, your wrist was grabbed. “Where are you going?”

“I have to do some things.” You smiled, only for the hand around your wrist to tighten.

Jotaro held a somewhat sad and somewhat angry look on his face as he held on. “Stay?”

“Jotaro, I’ve got to do stuff.” You shook your head but Jotaro didn’t like that.

“Stay.” He growled it this time, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

“No, I have to go do things. You stay here fish boy, I’ll come check on you after I’m done.” With that, you went to turn away, trying to pull your wrist from his hold as you moved to take a step.

Yet you yelped loudly as you were suddenly tugged sideways, falling towards your bath before a pair of arms caught you. You were spun around and pulled down, the sensation of cold water flooding over and enveloping your lower half making your breath hitch.

The water sloshed dangerously, threatening to spill over the edge of the tub as Jotaro settled down, tightly holding you against himself and basically on his lap, his arms like chains around your middle and barely even giving you enough room to breathe, definitely not leaving you any room to squirm.

“Stay.” Jotaro’s voice was low, a faint, deep, rumbling growl from the back of his throat accompanying his words as he spoke almost directly into your ear.

Almost immediately you starred, instinctively doing as he said as you sat still, your eyes staring wide in surprise. Your chest was going up and down fast with deep breaths. It wasn’t that you were afraid of Jotaro, he wouldn’t hurt you, you knew that. It was more that it made you realise how large and dangerous Jotaro actually could be if he so chose to be.

Taking in a deep breath to calm down, you tried to ignore the coming stress of not being able to complete that task for work today (it was fine, you could do it tomorrow, right?), as well as trying to not make your teeth clack thanks to sitting in the cold water. Cause while Jotaro was made for it, you definitely weren’t.

Seeing as you weren’t trying to squirm out of his hold, Jotaro happily started purring, his chest pressed directly into your back while he placed his chin on your shoulder. Shifting his tail, he turned the end around until it was splayed out over your lap in front of you, allowing you to play with the fins.

You gently grabbed hold, starting to stroke over them and Jotaro revelled in your soft touch. You guessed this was gonna be your life for the next three hours. Freezing your butt off in water while in the hold of a grumpy Merman who would not let go.

- - - -

“Jotaro, please don’t splash!” You called out from the kitchen.

“I’m not!” Was the response you got, making you look over at your living room. There, past your dining table, in front of the couch, sat the ginormous Mer ...in a kids pool.

You had bought it about two days ago after Jotaro kept complaining that you weren’t coming outside to see him. He loved to ignore the fact that it was bloody cold and raining so hard that you only had to stand outside for a second to be drenched. So, to solve this and not have Jotaro forced to sit in the bathroom on his own, you bought a kiddie pool. One of the bigger ones you could find yet was still able to fit there where your coffee table once stood.

Right now, you were just making something to snack on while Jotaro sat and ‘patiently’ waited for you. He had discovered the television yesterday and was absolutely enamoured. Just now coaxing and urging you to turn it on again. You had agreed and were thus now getting some snacks ready to eat and drink during the marathon.

Marathon of what? No clue.

Walking over to the couch area, you placed the different snacks down on the pushed aside coffee table, walking back to the kitchen to grab the drinks as well before returning.

“Here, drink something first.” You offered the glass in your hand to Jotaro and he scrunched up his nose, as if a kid who has just been asked to take his vitamins. “You haven’t been in the bathtub in a bit and you know chlorine can’t be the best thirst clencher.” You sighed. “So unless you plan to faceplant in the kiddie pool, drink up, Jojo.” You used the nickname he had asked you to call him on purpose, knowing he loved it when you did that.

And it proved true, for he took the tall glass from your hand and threw it back as if it was a shot without any more complaint.

Happy that he did it, you quickly refilled the glass before placing it down on the table by his side, stepping over the furniture with a bit of a wobble (you had to put the table in the walkway or else the pool wouldn’t fit) and walking to the front of your tv.

“So, what do you want to watch?” You asked as you sat crouched down.

A wet hand suddenly got placed on your lower back and right thigh, Jotaro having pulled himself up to you as he was now curiously looking over your shoulder.

“What’s that?” Jotaro asked, lifting his hand from your thigh as he pointed to a certain dvd case sitting at the bottom of the pile in your hand.

“This? It’s a Barbie film. I have it for when my niece comes over.” You raised a brow and turned your head to look back at Jotaro. His eyes were transfixed on the box and you couldn’t help but silently giggle at his cute look. For him, it was the colours. The vibrant pink and silver sparkles just drew his attention and curiosity, having not a clue about anything else. “You wanna watch it?” You asked but didn’t get a clear answer.

And so, you just decided for the both of you. “Fuck it, let’s watch it.” You chuckled, putting all the other DVD’s away and taking the Barbie disc out of its case and into the player.

Standing up, Jotaro finally took his hand off your lower back - where now sat a wet spot - and slinked back to the other side of the pool, patiently waiting for you and for the movie to start.

Snorting softly, you shook your head as you grabbed the remote and walked around the pool, climbing onto the couch and to the middle of it, taking your fluffy socks off as you sat behind Jotaro in your short summer pyjamas, choosing the language of the Barbie film like they always asked before putting your feet in the pool.

A happy rumble left Jotaro as you did that, your legs running under his arms and at his side, the Mer now grabbing your ankles as he made you lock your legs around his torso, leaning back into the bottom of the couch as if it was a backrest. His elbows pointed down, he held onto your legs around his torso, making you keep them there as he petted and lightly scratched them. A content rumbling sigh leaving him as you pressed play on the movie.

You just looked at the back of his head for a bit, feeling his hands glide over your legs. It was a strange, the direction your life decided to take you on, sure. But you had to admit that you did not mind per se.

Leaning forward, you patted the top of Jotaro’s head twice, making him start a bit and look at you wide eyed while you leaned over and grabbed your bowl of snacks, leaning back into the couch cushions afterwards, ready for the movie.

In the end, Jotaro didn’t like it. Barbie was annoying. But the colours were pretty!

#ask #jotaro x reader #jotaro kujo #mertaro #mermaid au #request #jojos bizarre adventure #jjba #jojo x reader #jjba x reader #mermen #jotaro kujo x reader #jotaro x you #jotaro x y/n

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wenellyb · 4 years ago

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Is Sambucky Canon or Not?

TL;DR: Yes, it is

I've seen some people saying that they only see friendship between Sam and Bucky, and I can understand that. Because depending on your education, the environment you grew up and the kind of media you’re usually exposed to, you will have a different interpretation of different situations, in real life or in TV. Just let me insert a short story before I dive into the Sambucky topic:

My best friend's uncle is in his fifties and has been living with his roommate (a man) for more than 10 years. They lived together, went on holidays together but officially were just roommates. My best friend wondered if they were a couple, but never talked about it to her parents because it wasn't her business. Two years ago, they decided to come out and get married. My best friend's parents and his parents were genuinely surprised, they were not expecting that, at all, not even a little bit. Let me tell you that it didn’t even cross their mind that it was a possibility, at all. For them, it had always just been two men who had decided to live together because they were single. And preferred to have a roommate rather than living alone.

What I want to say with this story is that people will see what they want to see, or what they're used to see, or what they were raised to see. It’s human.

What I mean is that you will have different perception of a same event, depending on your own circumstances. And I think the writers of TFATWS were counting on that a little bit when it came to Sam and Bucky’s relationship. They obviously didn't want to make some big announcement or big love declaration.

And yes, of course, I have my own circumstances as well, influencing the way I see things. I have shipped SamBucky since Civil War, when they were supposedly enemies. I never expected anything to happen between them on screen. But then they got a show together and I was so so happy about it but I didn't expect anything other than friendship between them.

I was perfectly fine with that because a show was already more than enough: my man Sam Wilson was becoming Captain America, the show was great, the characters were great, their interactions were great, and this wasn't a love story anyway but a superhero show. I thought that here was no way the showrunners would ever go there. I changed my mind after episode 5. I tried to stay objective, but it was clear to me that the writers were hinting at a relationship that went beyond friendship between Sam and Bucky. In some of my previous posts, I explained that there are some scenes and writing choices that make absolutely no sense if you read them as a scene between two friends. I can link them if anyone’s interested.

Side note: I would like to know if one person on this website can tell me what was up with Bucky's behavior with Torres (in episode 5)? What other explanation is there, if not jealousy? It's a scene they chose to keep, so it was probably written this way, there must be a reason. Please I’m begging someone explain it to me. I'm genuinely asking, because otherwise that scene alone is canon Sambucky.

After episode 5, I was convinced they would make Sambucky canon, one way or the other and I started speculating about the ways they could do it. What I said was that if they did make Sambucky canon, they would do it in a very subtle way, in order not to make it too obvious because that’s generally how Marvel movies deal with love stories. And also because they wouldn’t want to scare away their homophobic audience ( I guess Disney needs their money...who knows)

So here are the scenes of how I imagined SamBucky becoming canon and the comparison with reality:

- What I thought we could get : AJ and Cass calling Bucky "Uncle Bucky" - What we got: AJ and Cass running up to Bucky and playing with him. This point is interesting because it’s also related to the point I made about how the environment you grew up in influences your perception of things. I grew up in a big family and I know that, at least in my family, kids don't run up to an adult like that just because it's their uncle’s friend or just because he's nice... There's a real bond there. They haven't seen Bucky just that one time when he slept on the couch. They're obviously close. But some people might just see this as kids being kids. Also, if you watch at how the kids were fake punching him, they were really coordinated with Bucky. They have done this plenty of times. 2.

What I thought we could see: A non-explicit scene where we were supposed to draw our own conclusions. I thought they could show us Bucky staying over for the night, and the last scene would be an empty couch, meaning we would have to understand that Bucky slept in Sam's room this time.

-What we got: Bucky arriving in Sam's car ( A few people on Tumblr pointed out that it was the car Sam was driving in episode 1) So here again we have a scene that a lot of people will not notice. But they still chose to put it there. 3.

What I thought could happen: Sam asking Bucky to stay in Delacroix

What we got: Bucky wrapping things up in New York, as if he was leaving the city for good and coming to Sam's party as if he already knew everyone there. You can read my take on this here. 4. What I thought could happen: The scene in the trailer where we see them looking in the same direction and then we get a shot from very far away where they're holding hands but it’s not so obvious because they are being filmed from a disctance. -What we got: The scene in trailer and then a blurry shot of Sam holding Bucky and then fondling with his neck to find the best spot to rest his hand on. So none of the scenes I was imagining happened exactly like I had imagined, but it felt like all of them happened but in a different versions, which is still crazy to me. If it had been only one scene. I could probably understand the people who see them as just friends. Actually, I still do understand the people who see them as just friends, because everyone has their own interpretation. What I am saying is that they are NOT being portrayed as just friends. There are TOO many scenes in the 6 episodes for it to be a coincidence. One or 2 would be ok but friendship doesn’t explain everything:

The therapy scene (not the therapy scene itself since it was improvised) but the therapist saying she had heard a lot about Sam and wanting them to do a couples’ therapy

Bucky following Sam no matter what

Sam saying ok as soon as Bucky says "do it for me"

Sam asking "what about Bucky?"

Bucky starting to touch Sam whenever he has the chance

Bucky being the one to bringing the suit for Sam

The boat repairing montage

Bucky wanting to stay at Sam's place, when a hotel room would have been more comfortable than a couch

The second day of boat repair in closed quarters with an intense staring scene.

And there are so many other scenes, soft touches, looks,...

These writing choices are not a coincidence, it’s not involuntary, and it’s not fan service ( Fan service is the roll in the flower field scene, or the therapy session). This is them telling a story.

Let’s not even talk about the scenes in Endgame:

Sam comforting bucky at Tony’s funeral

Sam looking up to Bucky for approval before accepting the shield from Steve.

So yes, Sam and Bucky are canon in the sense that Peter and Gamora were canon in the first movie, or Wanda and Vision were canon in Captain Civil War. Meaning that there was no big moment, kiss or anything, but the show is consistently throwing elements clearly showing Sam and Bucky as a romantic item and hinting at a lot more than friendship between them.

It is normal that some people have a different opinion. Because it is extremely rare, in big productions like this to have two male leads with romantic feelings towards each other, so not a lot people who see it will interpret it as such (I don't think it ever happened). You’ll see what you’re used to seeing.

I guess it also depends on what you expect from a love story. For me, the storyline between the characters, their scenes, their chemistry, the way their feelings towards each other are described, are the most important. The kiss scene is just there as a bonus, but I don't need it when the love story is told perfectly. If you’re used to seeing love stories with many kissing scenes, that’s what you will be expecting to see in most love stories.

If you're only used to seeing male friendships in superhero or action movies. The 1000th time you see men interacting in that type of movie or show, you are more likely to assume it is a friendship and nothing more, no matter how many codes and tropes usually associated with romantic movies, the writers and show makers are using.

Add to that the conviction that Disney would never approve Sambucky in a million years, and there you go, I can understand the people who see only friendship.

But, just think about it, if we had the same show, same scenes, same dialogues, but minus the action scenes and the project was being marketed as an Indie movie, would you think they were just friends or a blossoming couple?

If you read Sambucky’s relationship like a friendship: some scenes don't make sense. If you read it like a developing romantic relationship: it all makes sense. "When you hear hoofs, think horse, not zebra" If a writer or a film director chooses a last scene with a romantic setting and the two leads are staring at a sunset, smiling repeatedly at each other and then walking away together with one of them touching the other's neck, with a love song in the background, maybe friendship isn't the first thought they had in mind.

Some people may say “I see them as just friends” and other people may say “ I see them as lovers” and both are fine, because people have different perceptions, and that’s ok.

What I am saying is this post is that the show and the writers are portraying them as more than just friends, they’re portraying them as two characters who are romantically involved.

Perceive what you want but that’s how they are being presented in the show.

Bucky’s therapist said that the exercise she gave them was for couples who want to figure out what kind of life they want to build together. Then, the show ends with Sam and Bucky, staring at a sunset together, looking in the same direction.

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. “ - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

What else do you need???

This show had more romance than half of the Marvel projects out there. Not every love story needs a kiss (for now...)

We'll see in their next projects which direction the writers want to go with this. But since it was said that the writer on the movie is the same as the writer from episode 5, there's no doubt in my mind that we'll keep seeing this dynamic. I don't think they would have made the same choices if this had been a movie. But I won't complain that we got this. I hope they keep this going even if it stays subtle like in the show. Just hope they will add one explicit scene where one of the characters acknowledges their relationship. But even if we only ever get this show, it’s already a great love story. Let me know what you guys think and sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes, I was tired when I wrote the last part. I hope it still makes sense!

If you think they're only being portrayed as friends let me know why! I would also like to know about the way you see this!

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws spoilers #Please feel free to comment on this and tell me what you think #I'm genuinely interested in having other POVs

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messers-moony · 4 years ago

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Divorce | J.P

Paring: James Potter X Slytherin!Reader

Summary: Reader goes through divorce with her arranged husband but sees her Hogwarts crush almost two years later at her Potions shop in Diagon Alley

Divorce sucks. There is no other way to say it. There is no amount of sugar to properly coat the words to make them seem better than they are. Instead, they’re pure salt– pure acidity. An arranged marriage for purebloods was typical. That doesn’t mean that everyone technically agrees they work. Some speculate that arranged marriages work more than chosen marriages. Y/n wouldn’t be one of those people.

Her family was a part of the sacred twenty-nine. The L/n’s, to be more specific. Y/n was a model child, an only child at that. She was sorted into Slytherin with not a consideration of any other house. Immediately at the age of sixteen, she was engaged to another man called Zenix Flores, another family of the sacred twenty-eight. Zenix was sweet, but he wasn’t her type.

Throughout her years at Hogwarts, Y/n stared at another. His name was James Potter. A star Quidditch player for the Gryffindor team. The best Chaser. Y/n’s lingering stares and dreamy look didn’t make it past Zenix. Fortunately, Zenix had eyes for another as well, Sirius Black, the best friend of James Potter. They bonded over that. They bonded over being in love with people they couldn’t have.

Everyone dies eventually. Immortality is not reality, and once Y/n’s parents died. Divorce was in order. However, they didn’t love each other like they should’ve it still sucked. They were close friends. But did close friends have a child together? Leo Flores, the product of Y/n Flores and Zenix Flores, was only eight years old when they went through the divorce. Leo was a token to show that Zenix and Y/n fell in love. An illusion.

It took months, but after the process was complete, Y/n left. Leo was to be in her care for the rest of his life. Zenix would send some of his profit to them to help, but he would never see his son again. Granted, he didn’t treat Leo well. Always so harsh, so strict on the little boy. The first words out of Leo’s mouth were ma’am and sir. Not momma or daddy. Instead, they were formalities.

They lived in an apartment in Diagon Alley. It wasn’t huge, but it was enough. Y/n changed her last name, and Leo’s back to L/n. Another long process but worth the wait. Y/n worked at a Potions shop in the Alley. Sometimes her old friend Severus would visit and buy some ingredients, but no one else she knew ever came into the shop. Not until he showed up at the door.

James Potter came waltzing into the Potions shop like it was nobody’s business. Unknown to the woman working the shop, he had been watching her work from afar. Just across the street was a bookstore where Remus would visit. During one of those visits, James caught sight of her. Granted, James didn’t think he’d find love after Lily ran away after his proposal claiming he wasn’t enough but that all changed when he saw her.

The feelings came back like it was yesterday she was gazing at him from the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. Y/n’s cheeks were set ablaze, and her stomach was placed into a frenzy of a million different feelings. Her heart made it seem like she ran around the Quidditch pitch one thousand times. Unbeknownst to her, he felt the same way.

Eventually, he made his way to the counter, “ Um- Good Afternoon. “

“ Good afternoon, sir. How may I assist you today? “ Y/n asked despite her racing heart, “ I need some help brewing a complex Potion. “ James confessed, fiddling with his hands.

“ What Potion, sir? “ Y/n inquired, “ Wolfsbane. “ James answered.

Her eyebrow quirked upward, “ That is a difficult Potion. It could have awful defects if made incorrectly. “ Y/n explained, looking at the ingredient list, “ How about this, I’ll make you the Potion instead of you possibly messing it up? “

“ How can I trust you won’t mess up? “ James questioned, smirking teasingly, “ Well. If it helps any, I received O’s on all of my Potion examinations, even in N.E.W.T level. “ Y/n quipped.

“ Well. I suppose you know your stuff. “ He replied as he crossed his arms, “ I suppose I do. “ Y/n retorted with a smile.

So James decided that she’d make the Potion. He would’ve paid her a million Galleons if he was just allowed to sit in the shop and stare at her. She was a beauty and moved so gorgeously. She moved with a purpose, with determination and ambition. Sirius and Remus had begun teasing him as James stared longingly at the Potions shop across the street.

“ Do you know her name? “ Remus asked, standing beside James now, “ No? “ James stated.

Remus chuckled; of course, he didn’t, “ Y/n L/n. She was a Slytherin in our year. Amazingly brilliant she is. Apparently, she was married to Zenix Flores but got divorced two years ago. “

James and Sirius stared gobsmacked, “ Did you stalk Prongs’ future wife? “ Sirius accused, and Remus shrugged, “ I was curious. Plus, I knew her at Hogwarts. She was a Prefect. We had a lot of rounds together. “

“ She was a Prefect? “ James queried, “ Mhm. You were too busy drooling at Lily to notice her. “ Remus nodded.

Now James felt incredibly stupid. All those pranks on the Slytherin house made him feel exceptionally stupid, knowing that she could’ve caught the backlash on some of them. Not only that, but she was a part of the sacred twenty-eight. James had never felt more idiotic, and he had gotten rejected after proposing to his girlfriend. That was saying something.

A month had passed, and the potion was ready. So once again, James walked into the Potions shop. This time she had a messy top knot present on top of her hair. Her eyes held extreme tiredness, and she moved almost sluggishly. James was worried. But Y/n saw him enter the shop and her cheerful smile glazed her face. Two bottles were now present on the counter for James to take.

He stood at the counter and pressed ten Galleons on the table, “ Sir, they’re only three Galleons. “ Y/n stated, “ Take the extra. You look exhausted. “ James replied.

“ Th- Thank you. “ Y/n smiled, “ Thank you, Y/n, for making these. “ James said gratefully.

Y/n blushed, “ I- Um- You were a Slytherin Prefect in my year at Hogwarts. “ James stammered, “ I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you before. “

“ It’s okay. Divorce can do that to you, Huh? “ Y/n laughed bitterly, “ Well, when I proposed to Lily, she straight up told me I wasn’t good enough so, that was almost like divorce minus the paperwork. “ James added.

“ I’m- I’m so sorry. “ Y/n apologized, “ No, no. I’m okay, trust me. It’s been about three years. “ James replied.

Before Y/n could speak again, steps were heard from the second story, “ Mom! Mom! “ Leo’s voice called as he rushed down the steps.

“ Mom! “ Leo appeared from behind the counter to see James and a blushing Y/n, “ Oops, uh, sorry, mom. “

“ No, it’s fine. Come here. “ James beckoned, and Leo hesitantly approached, “ What’s your name, little man? “

“ I’m ten! “ Leo announced proudly, and James chuckled, “ That’s awesome! “ James smiled.

Y/n turned to her son, “ What did you need, Leo? “ Despite being embarrassed, she was calm, “ You accidentally placed my quills on a high shelf. I can't reach them. “ Leo confessed, slightly embarrassed.

“ I’ll be up in just a second, but- “ Y/n began, but James stuck out his hand, “ I’m James. “

“ I’m Leo. “ Leo accepted the handshake and smiled at the adult man, “ If your mom doesn’t mind, maybe we could chat? “ James inquired, looking toward Y/n.

Leo looked hopeful at his mom, “ Please? “

“ Sure. You can go. “ Y/n allowed, and Leo hopped over the counter.

Before James could leave the proximity of the counter, Y/n grabbed his wrist, “ Please. Take care of him; I'm trusting you blindly here. “ She pleaded, and James smirked, “ Of course. “

The rest of the day went smoothly. Y/n had closed shop and began restocking items when they showed up. James' unkempt brown hair was more unorganized, but his hazel eyes glassed with mischief. Leo’s black hair was blown away from the rain, and his blue eyes sparkled with excitement. James beckoned the ten-year-old back upstairs while he approached Y/n.

“ So? Have a nice day with my kid? “ Y/n teased, and James chuckled, “ He’s fantastic. “

“ I know. “ She replied, “ I took him for ice cream, and we went shopping for a little. “ James informed.

Y/n melted at the adoration present on James' face, “ Do you need any money back? I can- “

“ No. Don’t worry about it, doll. I’ve got it covered. “ James interjected, “ I just saw him, and he had this look. He looked trapped. He needed to leave and just let loose for a couple of hours. “

“ I- I really love him. “ James confessed, and Y/n smirked, “ You’re in love with my son but not the woman who created him? “

“ If we're being honest. I’ve been watching you from the bookstore across the street. I thought you were gorgeous. Remus was the one who told me who you were. “ He admitted nervously, “ But being with your son today. If you’d like, could I take him out more often? “

She stepped down from the ladder and stood in front of him, “ How about you stay forever? “

“ I- I mean that is if you want. I know that I’m a pureblood, and- and my son- you probably don’t want to have a child right now. He’ll be going to Hogwarts soon, and quite frankly, I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it. But- But his former father wasn’t amazing, and I’m not sure you want that responsibility- “

Y/n was cut off when James grabbed her by the waist and placed his lips on hers. His thumbs rubbed gentle circles on her skin through her shirt. Y/n’s hands went through his unkept brown tuffs and his glasses slightly fogged from the heat of the kiss. They pulled apart but rested their foreheads on each other. They were still somewhat breathless from the soft kiss.

He held her chin in his hand, “ I’d love nothing more than to stay forever. “

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