#i hate separating them DO NOT SEPARATE...

[kukinkrim]

Hiii💗

I was wondering if you could do headcannons of the Saja boys with a demon s/o that’s a little weirdo? Like maybe she has a very odd hyper fixation like embalming, poisons, spirits, etc. She could be a little eerie looking, still pretty but theirs just something off. Maybe one of the boys hears their fans bashing the reader on her interests or appearance and instantly shut in down publicly?

the tales of five demon boys & their delightfully disturbing lovers

saja boys x gn!demon!reader (separate)

note: they ended up longer than i inteded TT i'm getting used to writing hcs, sorry!

jinu + a spirit-whisperer s/o

when jinu first met you, he was convinced you were possessed. like actually.

demons are evil and weird—he included, of course, he has his own fair share of hobbies. but you were different

you would mutter in latin to the air and say things like “don’t step there—he hates being walked through.”

sometimes you would stop mid-conversation to stare at something in the air and say, “can you not breathe down my neck right now?”

jinu can't see them, which makes it all the more scary.

how can a demon be scared of ghosts? he doesn't know.

but jinu fell inlove still.

and your spirit friends actually, genuinely, liked him.

their approval gives him pride, like he was asking your parents to court you.

jinu thinks your quirks that humans deemed 'weird' were what made you all the more beautiful.

he never found you weird.

not once. not even when you left cups of tea in the hallway and whispered to empty rooms like you were tucking invisible children into bed. if anything, it made the world feel less lonely.

most people said the word ghost with fear in their voices.

yoy said it like family. and jinu was welcomed into that little family of youre.

jinu had grown used to hearing you talk to the air. to them. like bakunawa, the ancient spirit who refused to sit unless the tea was boiling, steam hissing. or gertrude, an old lady, who hovered around his lover like a protective auntie, brushing your hair when you fell asleep.

sometimes, he’d catch glimpses—just shapes and flickers of movement. but it was your stories that brought them to life.

he'd make you tea and listen. no judgment. he listens and gets to know the spirits you were so fond of.

because in your world—between the living and the dead—you were never alone.

and neither was he. h had grown to love them, too.

but it was only a matter of time before his fans knew of your existence. not that he was hiding you deliberately, but kpop fans were just whole other level of nightmare to control.

he wasn’t even sure how they found you.

regardless, the storm hit fast.

your face was everywhere, and the nickname "spirit freak" was trending.

“they needs help.”

“jnu’s dating a that freak??”

“is he being posessed because why them? that's so creepy.”

“someone check his house for ouija boards.”

the worst ones weren't just mocking. they quickly turned violent. threats. doxxing. they managed to catch wind of your cellphone number and blew up your notifications of nonstop threats that made you feel disgusted.

mortals were scarier than ghosts; demons, even.

they didn't faze you, of course. you are a decade older than the rest of this sorry population. you wouldn't stoop so low as to dignify their taunts with any more response—you don't care much.

but jinu cares alot more than you realized.

he didn’t go online. he didn’t tweet, didn’t post, didn’t stream.

everyone thinks it's because he was weighing his options. that, or he finally woke up from this 'nightmare' of a relationship—according to his fans.

but what the public didn't know was that he spent three weeks studying defamation laws, cybercrime statutes, digital harassment ordinances. he skipped meals to do his research thoroughly, leaving no stone unturned.

he compiled every tweet, every handle, every traceable threat; especially those that were sent to your phone.

when the lawsuits dropped, the media exploded

“Multiple Pride Fans Facing Court Action from SAJA BOYS's Jinu’s Legal Team.”

he didn’t post a statement.

he didn’t need to.

his silence did all the talking.

abby + an embalmer s/o

you're a 10/10 but owns 5 vintage embalming kits and a preserved raven in your entryway.

when abby first visited your home it smelled like clove oil and faint formaldehyde.

abby once asked if that was a perfume, only to be surprised of the answer.

the shock wore off quick, though, because he didn't really understand what it really is and what it was for. "what's a floramahehaye?"

abby actually likes your job. he doesn't care about humans so it didn't really faze him when you knew of your occupation and hobbies.

if anything, he would volunteer sometimes when you're studying about human anatomy.

mostly because his abs, his proud and joy, fascinated you so much.

he's very smug about it actually.

as a demon, you spent most of your early existence buried deep within the earth’s crust, surrounded by a screaming fire lord and lava rivers and imps who couldn’t didn't have anything more to do than wallow in despair. you didn’t like hell—everyone doesn't. it was too loud, too hot, too full of shame. but you were used to it.

until you started watching humans.

they were delicate. vomplicated. tender. they lived fast and rotted faster.

you wanted to understand them.

so, naturally… when you were given the chance to stay on the surface, you took a job where you could open them up and study what they left behind.

embalming was never about death. to you, it was about learning. it was peeserving. honoring the shell left behind.

your coworkers thought you were a little off. not that you would blame though. your uncanny precision, your fascination with each organ’s texture, your absolute indifference to that iron smell—but you never let it bother you.

and abby doesn't too.

your first time meeting, you were shamelessly staring and he absolutely drank that attention up.

he was unnaturally pretty. not like “idol pretty,” more like if the concept of youth itself hit the gym. broad shoulders, pretty mouth, lashes long enough to dust a corpse’s cheek, and those godsent, chiseled, mouth-watering abs.

you didn’t mean to fall in love.

and when you once murmured your confession, “i wonder what your heart looks like outside of your ribcage,” he just grinned and said, “kinda sweet. kinda terrifying. i'd give it to you if i could, though.”

he never made you feel like a freak.

so when fans found out who you were. when your job, your calling, became the butt of every joke online—it crushed him.

it started with a leaked photo. you, in your lab coat, smiling serenely as you adjusted a body’s jaw. it was taken out of context and plastered everywhere.

“abby’s lover is a corpse freak???”

“THEY HANDLE DEAD PEOPLE FOR FUN.”

“what happened to dating normal people.”

“wouldn't be surprised if abby's dead one day with an open stomach lolol. what a freak."

the comments weren’t just cruel. they were invasive. some found your workplace and showed up outside, calling you all the names on the book.

you nearly lost your job.

abby didn’t wait for the PR team to draft an apology. apology for what? he wasn't sorry for loving you. he ignored the company meetings taht called to him for damage control.

and three days later, at the next fansign, he arrived wearing a tight white t-shirt.

on the front, in bold red gothic lettering: "EMBALM ME, MOMMY."

and on the below it is a large, flattering photo of your face—taken when you weren’t looking. probably in your embalming room. you had a scalpel in one hand and a slight smile on your lips. you looked beautiful.

mystery + a poison-obsessed s/o

your kitchen looked like a potion lab. bottles of liquid with caution plastered all over them.

your kisses sometimes tasted like bitter almonds or lemon balm.

you have a garden in your backyard solely for growing herbs.

you labeled your garden beds like “mild paralysis” and “emotional support toxicity."

he liked it.

sometimes he’d join you, fingers brushing yours as you crushed petals into paste.

mystery: you drank WHAT?

you, grinning: only a sip. i just wanted to know if it numbed my tongue—turns out, it does!

true to his name, he would sometimes ask you to let him taste some of them too

mystery wasn’t sure when it became normal to wake up to the smell of crushed wolfsbane and jasmine tea.

he just knew that when he saw your apron covered in petal dust and your fingers stained faintly green, it felt like home.

you were strange.

you were a poisoner.

not an assassin—just a curious one. a demon with a flair for toxicology and herbal pharmacology. you’d been alive for centuries and tasted everything from heavenly herbs that made angels cry to the extract of a root so potent it made your vision turn sideways for a week.

he once caught you licking a leaf, then calmly scribbling down symptoms in a leather-bound notebook.

“just tingling this time,” you had mumbled, smiling.

mystery stared at you for ten full seconds before croaking out, "honey, you ingested… all of that?!”

you just blinked, head tilting slightly. "it was for science. science tasted kind of burning though."

he nearly died of a heart attack. not from your herbs—just you being you.

but did he ever stop you? no.

he was mystery, after all. and you? you were every dark thrill he never knew he needed.

you were careful, really. but one photo of your windowsill garden—specifically the belladonna and monkshood—somehow surfaced on a gossip account. then someone dug deeper and found your blog; a poison-for-research journal filled with herb tests, absorption rates, even antidote recipes you’d developed yourself.

the internet of course lost its mind.

some fans began speculating even the smallest things like his energy drinks having odd colors and were convinced you were poisoning him slowly.

#SaveMystery

“that freak is literally feeding him poison!”

“they're a murderer, i swear.”

mystery read them out loud with a deadpan face. "they're not exactly wrong though," he comments as he zooms in on a picture his fans posted of his 'odd drink.' "you put wolfsbane here, right? they're exaggerating though. didn't kill me."

you squinted at the picture he was holding up. "oh that? that's just vitamins.”

mystery blinked. "what?"

you chuckled. "you think i'd feed you something dangerous? you big goof. they're all vitamins. ever wondered why your skin is glowing and you're healthy as a baby?"

"what."

mystery felt betrayed that you didn't poison him like he believed you did. in fact, he's so butthurt about it he decided to rant about it on his live.

in the garden, pretending to be sad as he expressed how he was deeply hurt by his lover's actions, ignoring his angry fans that flooded his comments—all the while you were working in the background with your frilly apron, tending to your garden.

"you're all wrong. they aren't poisoning me. in fact, i found out rhey've been sneaking vitamins and immunity boosters into my food this whole time, and i, frankly, feel betrayed that my glowing skin is natural.”

you peeked from behind him, holding something in your hands.

“this one’s elderberry and magnesium. want it in your smoothie?”

he nodded solemnly. “yes, please.”

the fans haf long since stopped trying to protect mystery because he clearly doesn't want it. who whines on live about not being poisoned by their lover?

romance + dollmaker s/o

he met you during a fansign when you showed him a picture of your next doll project: the saja boys.

creepy button eyes and sewn mouths, unfinished, but still creepy

thought it was a prank.

realized it wasn’t and said, “nice detail on the jawline.”

perhaps the mini doll of himself that you made was cursed, but it hangs on his bags permanently.

the thing actually purred and he was elated.

he brags about it to his members.

romance had always been used to fans doing bold things. letters written in blood (food coloring, hopefully) life-size cardboard cutouts of him left at hotel lobbies, one girl even proposed with a ring pop.

but nothing—and he means nothing—could’ve prepared him for you.

you arrived at the fansign table dressed sweetly enough, nothing out of the ordinary. fans likes dressing uo for these occassions, it wasn't anythinf new. but what you placed in front of him had romance.exe malfunctioning.

It was a doll. A creepy, uncanny-valley doll. Big head, glass eyes, detailed lips, and somehow… his exact jawline.

“is this… me?” romance asked, blinking, and you nodded, excited. “yes! and here’s the rest of your group, but j spent the most time on you. i even added your tattoos!”

at first, he thought it was a prank. maybe, there was joke he missed.

but then you pulled out stitching diagrams. color palettes. handmade clothes. and you started yapping and you just looked so passionatr about it that he couldn't even bring himself to say anything bad.

he eyes the doll, fiddling with its hair. it was very real. and kind of creepy, he swore it would start walking if left in a room alone. but also… he's shockingly flattering?

“i look nice here, actually,” he said, grinning. “perfectly captured my jawline.”

romance hadn’t stopped thinking about you. the dolls were weird—but you weren’t. besides, anyone who paid that much attention to his features? yeah. he doesn't mind one bit.

you were dating quietly, secretly. he loved visiting your apartment—shelves lined with little haunting faces, half-stitched limbs, eyes in jars waiting for placement. dors he find it creepy? absolutely. but your focus, your joy, your pride in every weird little creation?

he loved that even more.

you once handed him a tiny version of himself. a keychain doll. “for luck,” you said. and he has it always, ALWAYS, hanging on his bags. he swore the mini-romance purred when it sat beside the mini-version of you on his nightstand.

if it was a curse, he’d never felt more lucky.

one day, during a casual vlog in his apartment, fans noticed something in the background.

two dolls.

bot just any dolls. your dolls, but they didn't know that yet. it was very clearly a couple's item. one of him and one of… someone else. a striking resemblance to a photo they'd seen from an obscure art account.

the internet did its thing.

within hours, fans haf connected the dots. your etsy store. your blog with antique doll restorations. they even managed to dig up the blurry photos of you behind him on some vlogs he had carelessly posted.

“that freak collection is dating Romance???”

“THEY PUT HIS SOUL IN A DOLL, GUYS.”

“those dolls probably blink at night.”

“they're gonna curse the whole group. watch.”

the hate was immediate and brutal. they called you everything from creep to witch.

the hate had been building for days.

the rumors of your “witchcraft,” the conspiracy threads claiming you’d stolen romance’s soul and trapped it inside a life-sized doll made of bone dust and silk. they flooded comment sections with hex emojis. fans even speculated you had a whole graveyard in your apartment.

romance merely lets them bark. he let them foam.

and then he announced a solo comeback.

no teaser. no album name. just a picture of his new merch on his account.

on a worn velvet armchair sat the doll. rhe very first one you made. slumped slightly, hands on its lap. it stared directly at the camera.

the photo captures every detail of the doll that he called mini-romance. on his heart was an embroidery of your name in red thread.

"she made me with her hands. now you can hold a piece of me too. preorders now open."

baby + an s/o that loves haunted artifacts

this one? wasn't fazed in the slightest.

he actually liked accompanying you to go store hopping, even if most of the stores you visited were eerie.

he hels you arrange them sometimes.

he would even help you with installing shelves for your little trinkets.

he once caught the porcelain hand on your desk waving at him and he waved back.

baby’s been many things in life. a demon, idol, walking disaster with a voice like sin—uh... that's kinda it, to be honest. but scared? never.

so when he started dating you, the only real shock wasn’t your hobby… it was how into it he got.

your apartment looked like the aftermath of a haunted estate sale—crucifixes, ouija boards sealed in glass cases, dolls missing one eye but “don’t worry, she sees just fine,” and shelves of jars with things inside he doesn't to ask about.

your prized possession? a cracked music box from the 1800s that played by itself at 3 a.m. every third thursday.

“it’s a spiritual warning,” you explained sweetly.

he blinked, shrugging his shoulders as he holds the music box carefully. “well, the melody kinda slaps. mind if i sample it for our next song?"

baby genuinely loved your weirdness.

you’d get excited explaining where your “possessed” trinkets came from, describing the terrifying rumors around each one. he’d nod along, snack in hand, letting you ramble for hours like you were narrating a true crime doc he was deeply invested in.

“this mirror’s from an asylum that burned down.”

“dope.”

“if you stare into it too long, you see your past life.”

“bet mine was hot too.”

baby was actuslly one of the members who was pretty opem about your relationship, which is no whonder why everyonr had been qurstioning his sanity the moment they first discovered your love for weird and creepy things.

at first, he ignored it. it didn't matter what the oublic said anyway, he didn't care about them. it didn't seem like you cared either.

“is baby okay?? that room is CURSED.”

“i swear i heard someone singing inside the bathroom.”

“his lover is a witch. Or a demon. Or both.”

“SOMEONE GET HIM OUT OF THERE.”

but a particular request from you made him sigh. you asked, innocently, so gently, if you could show his fans your trinkets so they wouldn't be so scared.

so thats why he found himself setting up in the middle of your living room.

the live started with a low hum.

not from the camera. from the background. something in a jar on that third shelf was vibrating. the chat was goimg absolutely nuts.

omg is that the haunted lamp?? WHAT IS THAT NOISE who let baby go live unsupervised again IS THAT A DOLL IN THE BACK why is it BLINKING

then vaby appeared onscreen—grinning, holding his phone like a microphone. he waved lazily. “sup.”

behind him, your famously haunted living room was in full display. ucifixes, preserved bones, jars that kept rocking about, and many more things that the chat didn't want to see.

he stepped back, then gestured off-camera. “okay, listen up. i brought someone.”

you stepped into view, sheepishly waving at the camera.

baby leaned into the frame again, eyes narrowed in a glare. "they're going to show off their favorite artifacts and your only job is to clap and say good things. you're going to play nice, got it?”

then he retreated to the back, letting you have the spotlight while he crossed his arms, glarimg from behind you.

“okay, babe. show ‘em your favorites. i'll be back here, not getting possessed. probably.”

you brightened.

“okay! first—this is tobias, my favorite mirror.”

[sweetdispatch]

Princess - V. Mancini

masterlist pairing: Victor Mancini x fem!reader summary: You saw a trend on tiktok and decided to test Victor how he feels about couple gestures warning: none

You and Victor had been together for 5 years. You’ve met in college and since then, you were never separated. You two had a lot of ups and downs during the relationship but always stick up together. That also meant a routine for both of you. During the season, Victor was busy with training while you were working. That meant no spontaneous dates. 

That’s why when you saw the trend of bare minimum or princess treatment you knew you had to test this on Victor. Your relationship had been great but you were curious how he sees these gestures. When you told him about this idea, at first he laughed but eventually he agreed. 

“Okay, I got the list. I have ten examples, ready?” You asked him and looked at your phone. 

“Sure, what’s the award for the win?” Victor asked you. 

“There’s no award” You laughed and Victor rolled his eyes in a playful mood. “First one. Buying her favorite snacks just because” 

“Depends” You looked at him with raised eyebrows. “If I’m in a shop, I’ll buy you so it’s bare minimum but if i’m not in the shop and decided to go and buy you something it’s princess treatment” Victor explained to you. 

“Okay, I get you a point for that. Next one. Paying for her to get her nails done” You read and looked at him. 

“Princess treatment” Victor answered but it more sounded like a question. “But if you want, I can pay for you so you can get them done and we can make it a bare minimum” 

“It is a princess treatment and I don’t need your money baby. I can pay for my own nails” You smiled at him. “Next one. Bringing her soup when she’s sick” 

“Bare minimum. I’m doing this for you and you are doing this for me. It should never be a princess treatment but a normal and healthy relationship” Victor said proudly. 

“It’s a way of showing that you care about your partner” You told him. 

“But if you cook the soup instead of buying it’s a princess treatment” Victor said. 

“Does it mean that I’m giving you a princess treatment?” You asked him and his jaw dropped. “What? You thought I’m buying you soup when you’re sick?” Victor nodded his head. “I’m cooking” You said proudly.

“You’re a goddess woman” Victor lend to kiss you. “What’s the next one?”

“Buying her flowers not just on special occasions” You read. 

“In my opinion it’s bare minimum” Victor said. 

“Then why don't I see a bouquet of flowers?” You asked him knowing exactly the answer. 

“Because you hate flowers and find them annoying! I would buy you every flower in the world but you don’t like them” Victor said, almost screaming. 

“I was messing with you” You laughed. “Next. Carrying her purse when she asks” 

“Princess treatment” Victor said and you were thinking about it for a minute. “It has to be princess treatment” 

“It is but I was just thinking if you ever carried my purse” You told him. 

“I’m carrying your purse every single time when we’re going back home from the club” Victor said. “And your high heels and sometimes even you” 

“Okay, okay” You giggled. “Opening the door for her”

“That’s not even bare minimum. That’s being a gentleman and respectful. This is normal to open the door for women and let them walk first” Victor said and you smiled. 

“Buying period products for her” You read and saw the confusion written on his face. 

“I don’t know” Victor was thinking about it for a minute. “I would say that at the beginning of the relationship it’s a princess treatment but when you live together it’s bare minimum” 

“I would say it’s a princess treatment” You told him. 

“Why?” Victor was curious about your way of thinking. 

“It’s not something I need from you. It’s my problem and my period so if you buy it for me, I feel like a princess” You explained him. 

“For me, especially now since we live together it’s bare minimum because your problems are my problems too and I’m buying you period products. It's the same as when you’re buying me medicine and vitamins” Victor said and you smiled, not believing that you got so lucky with him. 

“I love you so much” You kissed him. “Next one. We still have three more to go. Tying her shoes for her” 

“It's a princess treatment unless you’re in pain and can’t do it for yourself. In that case, it’s bare minimum” Victor said and you nodded. 

“Agreed. Giving her jacket when she’s cold” You read and looked at him. 

“It’s just love and caring for your partner. I won’t let you suffer in the cold just because you can’t dress properly for the weather” Victor laughed and you rolled your eyes. 

“Last one. Refilling her cosmetics when you see they’re almost finished” You said and locked your phone. 

“All the fancy skincare products or your shower gel and shampoo are bare minimum but your makeup is princess treatment because I’m rarely buying it for you. There’s so many weird colors and numbers… Yeah I’m not touching that but the skincare is fine” Victor said and you smiled at him. 

“Wow, how do I get so lucky to be with you?” You threw your hands behind his neck and kissed him. “I love you” 

“I love you too princess” Victor kissed you again. “The last question reminded me that your serum is almost finished and I planned to go and buy it for you after training” 

“How about we go shopping together after your training?” You proposed. 

“Great idea” Victor smiled and kissed you again.

[silentcaps]

Before you they never…

tags: hurt/comfort, soft, relationship

cast: albedo, venti, noelle, rosaria, xinyan, tartaglia x reader

side b: baizhu, beidou, bennett, diluc, kazuha, mona

ALBEDO

Before your relationship, he never asked anyone to pose for him. Albedo used to paint landscapes, standing on snowy mountain slopes, leaving rough sketches in his notebook next to his lab notes.

But he wants to draw you all the time now. Against a sunset or a night lake, busy or resting on the bed, dressed or not. Albedo admires you like an artist does a muse he's been searching for.

And it’s not about appearance. He catches how you bite your lip when you’re thinking. How you fidget with the hem of your shirt when you’re nervous. How you fix your hair out of habit, even when it’s not in your eyes. He sketches those little things too. In a separate album, carefully, like he’s documenting them.

And sometimes he asks, “I need to draw you again.” But you can see it in his eyes — he doesn’t need to. He just wants to create with you.

VENTI

Before your relationship, he never wanted to stay. And now Venti catches himself thinking that freedom doesn’t feel as easy to breathe in as it used to. Without you, he can’t breathe at all.

He starts staying the night — falling asleep on the hard couch and saying it’s comfortable. Tries to make breakfast. Picks wildflowers and brings them to you. Settles in with you.

At first, it scares him, and Venti disappears into bars. Alcohol always used to help, but now it tastes bitter. He could’ve thought you cast a spell on him, but this wanderer trusts you more than he trusts himself.

Venti doesn’t know if this will work out — he knows his own nature. But for the first time, he’s not afraid to try. And he doesn’t run.

NOELLE

Before your relationship, Noelle only knew love from books. In them, people confessed right away, fights vanished within a chapter, and the characters understood each other without a word.

Real life turned out differently. You argued — sometimes even shouted. Learned to listen, to give in, to forgive. In those moments, Noelle looked away, and it seemed like she wanted to give up. To go back to the fairy tale where love didn’t hurt.

But she still kept your gifts in a neat little box. She even saved small things: a dried flower from the first bouquet, a theater ticket, notes scribbled on scraps of paper.

And in her journal, she wrote:

“I don’t know how it’s supposed to be. In books, it’s different. But if we’re together — I’ll manage.”

ROSARIA

Before your relationship, Rosaria had never prayed for someone else out of her own free will. Her faith had always been hollow — nothing more than a habit drilled into her by elders.

Now, when you set off on a journey, she kneels in the cold temple. In a whisper, almost angrily, she begs Barbatos to keep you safe.

“Let them come back. I won’t ask for anything else.”

She hates how her clenched fists tremble. Hates that there’s someone she’s afraid to lose.

But if she stops praying — there’ll be nothing left but panic.

XINYAN

Before your relationship, Xinyan had never dedicated a song to anyone.

Not because she didn’t write — quite the opposite. She had dozens of drafts and lines scribbled on scraps of paper. But every time, at the last minute, she threw them out. No one was supposed to know who’d made a home in her heart.

But now — she stayed up all night, finishing the chords, wrote the guitar riff herself, poured every feeling into the lyrics. She’d worked on it so hard.

And now she’s looking at you from the stage — finds you instantly in the crowd, just by your eyes and silhouette, could never mistake you for anyone else — and sings, no smile on her face, with raw honesty in her voice:

“Baby, what are you doing? You know you can always come to me.”

TARTAGLIA

Before your relationship, he’d never introduced anyone to his family. Sure, Tartaglia had had girlfriends, but it never got that far. So your arrival in their home is a real event.

His mother sets the table, his father puts on his best clothes, the younger ones calm down. They’re more nervous than you are, and Tartaglia — he’s just happy.

He introduces everyone by name. Wraps an arm around your shoulders, serves you food himself, pointing out the juiciest piece on the plate. Gives a full tour of the childhood bedroom. Offers you a toy he carved from wood.

Then his family pulls you into conversation, and to your surprise, you learn that before your relationship, there were many things Tartaglia “never did.”

He never let anyone talk while fishing. Never wrapped someone in his scarf during a snowstorm. Never taught anyone how to shoot or fence. And never shared so much of himself with anyone.

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

I think in my head, I tend to separate, especially when I'm writing.

I tend to make the characters like relationships always have a bit of like a darker undertone.

So in my head, I separate like Duke Cass and Stephanie. And then I have Jason Damian, Tim, Dick.

In my mind, the boys have like the definition of toxic relationship. It feels weird to me to then give that same kind of very unhealthy dynamic Duke, Cass, and Stephanie.

That's not to say that Cass and Stephanie don't have an unhealthy relationship dynamic. I just feel like it's a different form.(specifically in my writing.)

Than Duke, I just don't feel like he has the same attachment to the Waynes. Like do I think he cares about them? Yes do I think he's going to start a war and then cackle while people burn alive no. I feel like Duke morals actually seem to be more iron tight in my mind than the other batboys.

The no kill rule matters so much to Cass.

Also, too there's overall far less like hate or frustration between those three.

Like Jason would slit Tim's throat again, but also would immediately dump him in the green Mountain Dew.

That's not to say there isn't love between all of them.

I just feel like I want them all to sit at the dinner table in Wayne Manor Cass to look at her brothers, and feel very uncomfortable with what their body language and emotions tell her.

Then I run into the prom with Stephanie that I feel like she would be aware of the unhealthy dynamic, and she would purposefully not fall into it.

Never mind that her relationship with Bruce is not the same as the rest of them.

You can't have a normal relationship if you're willing to sit at the same table as people who have attempted to kill you and then in the very next breath truly mean it when you say I love you.

Like I just don't see that same level of codependency between Duke, Cass and Stephanie.

Could I write it that way sure, but it doesn't have the same vibe. It's weird.

I was looking at some of the stuff I have saved, and I came to the realization that I do not tend to write them toxic. This is me essentially trying to put into words, my feelings on twisting their relationships.

I try to keep some vibe of Canon in my writing, unless it is super super off the walls. But I just feel like I can't twist theirs to be in the same realm as the rest.

* I don't think this made sense but putting my thoughts to paper.

[httpssturns]

“Bet”

cw: enemies to lovers trope, smut, p n v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), hickies, blah blah blah let's get into it. chris masterlist ○ main masterlist

You hated Chris, a lot. but you weren't crazy enough to turn down a free vacation with your best friends, even if he would be there.

You planned it all out in your head. You would avoid Chris at all costs, don't talk to him, don't look at him, or even let him exist in the same vicinity as you, but sometimes, things don't go as planned.

Earlier, all four of you had gotten soaked in the rain, the forecast didn't predict the storm so you never brought an umbrella, and clouds are little bitches.

So you all did what all sane people did—ran back to the hotel at full speed. There were quite a few slips and bang-ups, but at least you weren't drowning on land anymore.

Everyone was freezing when you all arrived at the hotel, and while Matt and Nick decided to run to their rooms to change and warm up, you decided to shower.

Whatever Chris was doing, you didn't know. You couldn't care less, or so you thought.

‘fuck, I forgot my towel.’ you think to yourself, and you almost let out an audible groan—like it's going to physically kill you to ask Chris to bring you a measly towel.

You decide to text him anyway, not wanting to soak your new clothes. What would've been the point of taking a shower anyway?

You make sure to put on the shirt you had on before, wincing at the way it clings to your figure. You feel like a wet dog, wearing soggy clothing again when you were literally trying to get out of them wasn't the best feeling in the world.

“I’m coming in!” Chris calls loudly, before barging into the bathroom. He's so fucking annoying, how can he make courtesy sound obnoxious?

When he stands in front of you, you can almost feel his gaze turn dangerous, his body stiffening and hands clenching as if if he didn't, he was going to do something he really, really would regret.

“Sweetheart, you better change before I do something I can't take back.” Chris breathes, his eyes shamelessly raking over your figure, taking in every curve and dip of your body.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you taunt, quirking your lip and leaning on your hip like you have no idea how much you're affecting him, but the way he looks like he's one second from drooling tells you otherwise.

“Fuck.. you really want to find out, huh?” He rasps, pulling you to his chest before his lips tickle your ear.

“I'll show you exactly what I mean,” he whispers, before he backs you up against the bathroom counter, his lips crashing onto yours.

His tongue pressed between the slit of your lips, licking between them briefly before invading your mouth like nobodies business.

His tongue swirled in your mouth, exploring the expanse of your hot orifice. Your hands find his hair, fingers threading through the brunette locks and tugging just enough to cause a little sting. He's such a freak that he probably likes the pain.

You feel him gasp against your lips, before hiking you up by your thighs and sitting you on the counter, not breaking the kiss in the process.

When he does eventually separate his lips from yours, they immediately find your neck, sucking onto your sweet skin while his hands slip under your shirt like he's trying to distract you from the fact that he's touching you like this.

He pulls your shirt off, flinging it onto the floor without a care in the world. “fuck sweetheart, you're so fucking beautiful..” Chris gasps, his hands clamping to your skin already like you're just an illusion that could disappear at any second.

His hands are so warm, hot even—as if he's trying to burn the feeling of his touch into your skin permanently. You can feel the heat pooling in your gut, the need becoming almost unbearable.

His nimble fingers eventually find your panties, and he looks at your legs with parted lips, like he can't believe that he’s allowed to do this. His digits slip under your waistband, and he gasps as he feels how heated your skin is there.

“Sweetheart, can I...” he asks, the rest of his question obvious as his fingers remain still under your panties. You only give him a nod, so blissed out already by the way he's touching you like it's his own pleasure that you're afraid to speak.

“Baby, I need words from you.” He whispers against your ear, his fingers withdrawing from the stretchy material so that he can cup your face.

“F-fuck.. please Chris.” you breathe, looking at him with pleading eyes. He takes the verbal confirmation as all he needs, groaning softly as he slips his fingers under the elastic of your panties once more before pulling them down with one swift motion.

The pad of his thumb finds your clit, pressing against it with a gentle pressure and eliciting a gasp from your lips—and his.

“Chris.. don't tease-” you beg, already looking so wrecked and ready for him and he hasn't even properly touched you.

“f-fuck.. I'm not trying to, God you're so wet..” he groans out, his index and middle finger collecting your arousal before he brings it to his lips, letting out a low moan at your sweetness.

“fuck.. Baby, I don't think I can wait any longer.. need to feel you around me.” Chris mutters, quickly yanking his shorts and boxers down before looking back up at you.

His dick slaps his lower stomach with a soft ‘smack.’ he looks so hard it's painful, pre-cum already oozing from his tip and down to his shaft.

You gulp, his length almost looking intimidating. Chris immediately notices this and rests his hands on your thighs, making you look at him. He makes sure to reassure you, although your nervousness about how big he is is definitely going to his ego.

“Sweetheart, if you don't want this we can stop. I'm going to go so slow, you're in charge. It's your body, you set the pace.”

You almost moan at his words, consent is so fucking hot for no reason. “No, Chris.. I really want this.. please—I need you.” You murmur, putting your hand over his and catching his eyes with your hazy ones.

He lets out a soft breath, and then gently spreads your legs, letting out a small groan as he gets a clearer view of your core.

He pumps his length in his hand a few times, a quiet moan escaping his plush lips before lining up with your leaking entrance, almost slipping in with how wet you are.

You gasp as the head of his dick rubs against your slit, your weeping pussy already trying to suck him in.

He slowly pushes in, letting out a low groan as he feels your walls stretch to accommodate his size. He almost feels smug about it, the way you're already clinging to him, nails digging red crescents into his back and he hasn't even started.

“fuck, you wanted this hm? Can feel you suckin’ me in already.” Chris smirks, looking at you with eyes so dilated you can barely see the aquamarine rings that you've grown to love on some—and hate on others.

“Sh-shut up..” You retort weakly, your words dissolving into a moan when he pulls almost all the way out before slamming into you again, his hips nudging yours.

“What were you saying? Couldn't hear you over all of that moaning.” he teases, knowing you absolutely can't do anything about it. He knows you need him too much.

You want to be angry, you want to push him away—but you can't. every other emotion is swallowed by the pleasure he's giving you and the need for more.

“y-you're an asshole,” you mutter, but you can't help but clench around him at how cocky he's acting.

“I'm an asshole? Oh, I can be an asshole. If that's what you really want. You want me to fuck you like an asshole?” He counters, his teeth nipping your earlobe while your tongue swirls around the stud earring you have on.

Suddenly, he starts slamming into you, hips slapping hips as he roughly thrusts his cock into your sloppy cunt.

You choke out a loud gasp, crying out his name as he bullies your sweet spot. You're clamping around him at this point, greedily sucking in more and more of his dick like without it you'll die.

“f-fuck.. suckin’ me in so deep, such a greedy pussy.” Chris groans, his head looking forward a little to watch his big cock be swallowed by your dripping hole.

He thrusts in and out with vicious strokes, plunging his hefty length in and out of you like he was trying to mold the shape of him into you permanently.

You suddenly feel your stomach tighten, like someone pulling on a rubber band just waiting for it to snap. You try to speak, the pleasure he's giving you almost rendering you speechless, and you try to warn him.

“Ch-chris! I—i’m gonna..ngh- gonna cum.. please!” you manage to splutter, gripping into his shoulders even tighter as you approach your release.

“fuck baby.. I'm close too.. gonna cum? Cum all over my cock baby, wanna see you drippin' all over me.” Chris grunts, fucking into you faster and deeper as he chases your release, absolutely needing to see your essence cream around his base.

You breathe heavily, gasping for air as every slam of his hips knocks all of it out of your lungs, you suddenly tense up, crying out his name before cumming all over his shaft.

“Fuck sweetheart- you're so fucking sexy,” Chris moans, his hips jerking forward at the feeling of you clenching around his length.

His hips slam into yours. Once, twice, three times, and then he's crying out your name like a prayer. Spilling his hot seed into your aching cunt like it's what he was made to do.

He slows down, thrusting into you a few more times before pulling out with a hiss. “Baby, are you alright?” he asks softly, cupping your face in his palms with affection.

You hum in response, your eyes low and cheeks flushing, looking at him with the most blissed-out gaze. “M’okay, that was.. wow.” You murmur quietly.

“Sweetheart, you're ‘wow’” he chuckles softly, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “You did so amazing for me, took me so well.” Chris praises, his arms wrapping around you in a delicate embrace.

“Let's get you all cleaned up, ‘kay? Least I can do after all of this.” he smiles, before moving from the counter to grab a washcloth.

He wets the washcloth in warm water, ringing it out before carefully wiping over your thighs, looking up at your face every few seconds to make sure he's not hurtingg you.

“guess you took that shower for nothing, huh?” Chris murmurs, letting out a soft chuckle before setting the washcloth down on the counter.

“i guess so,” you laugh quietly, looking at him , you look so small, like something he needs to protect.

“lets get you to bed, it's late sweetheart. Do you want clothes or no?” He asks with an attentive tone, wanting nothing else but to make you feel completely comfortable.

“no, just want to feel you.” you murmur quietly, hoping in your heart that he doesn't make fun of you.

To your surprise, all he does is smile and hoist you up from the counter, carrying you bridal style to the hotel bed.

After a lot of laughter and playful squirming, he sets you down on the bed, pulling you flush against his chest and covering the two of you with the comforter.

You snuggle into his chest, legs tangling with his and soon, you fall asleep, his hands stroking your hair and the slow beat of his heart lulling you to sleep like a warm lullaby.

Chris follows suit shortly, the both of you asleep in the night while the stars twinkle outside and the comforter wraps around you both like a cloud. Maybe clouds aren't bitches after all.

The sun shines through the windows, waking you both from your deep slumber just in time to get up and get the hotel breakfast with Nick and Matt.

You both hurry to get dressed, not even bothering to say a word because you both need if you did, you'd just get back into bed and cuddle until breakfast wasn't served anymore, and that would really piss Nick and Matt off.The two of you exit the hotel room, meeting up with Matt and Nick to go get breakfast.

“hey, what's that mark on your neck?” Nick asks curiously, moving closer to inspect it. You push his hand away, your cheeks flushing deeply as you try to hide away, bumping into Chris and embarrassing yourself even more.

Nick smirks, an obvious lightbulb going on in his mind as he puts it together “hmm, I wonder where she got the hicky from, Matt do you know where that came from?” Nick taunts, wiggling his eyebrows at Chris and giving Matt a side glance, a devious grin on his face.

The proud stretch of Chris's lips and the criminal shade of red on your cheeks is all Nick needs to see. Matt groans loudly, before Nick exclaims; “Handdd it overrr!”

Matt grumbles, handing a twenty dollar bill to Nick while muttering “couldn't you have kept your dick in your pants this trip?” Chris guffaws, the exchange baffling the two of you.

“You guys are so fucked up, you bet on this?” he questions, shock and incrediculousness laced into his voice.

“Yeah, Nick was so sure you guys were gonna fuck here. That's why we left ya'll alone. I didn't think that was gonna happen for a second, but you two are just horny fucks.” Matt huffs, explaining the bet with frustration in his tone.

“oh get over it Matt, it's twenty bucks, I could've said a hundred and you would've still bet with me.” Nick responds with a smug lilt, before turning to look at you and Chris.

“What does this mean for you two, anyway? You guys kind of hated each other before? Actually if you think about it it was probably just sexual tension.”

“Okay, stop talking for the sake of me and your vocal chords, and it's plain and simple. She's mine.” Chris replies, his eyes gleaming with a smug fervor, but there's something else there—a low possessiveness that he feels after connecting with her so intimately last night, he has a piece of her now. And she has a piece of him.

Your face heats up, but there's something about him saying that that makes you feel warm inside too, and you move closer to him as you four walk, like a silent agreement to his statement.

His arm wraps around your waist, and you two stay like that the entire walk to the hotel cafe.

Maybe a trip with Chris wasn't so bad after all.

୨♡୧ @bernardsbendystraws for the dividers ୨♡୧

☆ soph's notes: my first request and my first actual p n v smut! I spent and embarrassing amount of time writing this but I hope you all like it, I'm super proud of this.

the request here!

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ @sugarraez @ribbonlovergirl @slvt4subchratt @bernardsbendystraws @oopsiedaisydeer @backwardshatnick @izzylovesmatt @viviansturns @courta13 @coquettechris @matts-wife @matts-babytomatoes @whore4chris @lilssturns @bambi-cloud9 @sturns-mermaid @mattswrinkleton @irlbcmbi @pizzapocketpocketpizza

comment to be added to the main taglist!

[aetherograph]

^^^^^^ Your body is for life, brother. Nerve damage is very very very very VERY hard to fix, and takes a long long long LONG-ass time to heal!

Speaking as someone who spent most of my life hating and being encouraged to hate my tits, and then got top surgery at 30: getting top surgery will not fix that you hate your body. It really won't. Thinking it will is Magical Thinking. You have to get right with your body before you change it, or you're going to have a REAL hard time adjusting and might end up with compounded body dysphoria because you taught yourself to hate yourself. Getting your tits off is just getting them off, it doesn't fix your mental state or your hatred of yourself. Your body IS you. There is no separation between the two. What gender you are? Your body parts are that gender too. Because they're you, and you are them.

Your body is going to grieve the loss whether you want it to or not, because grief is--fun fact--a physical reaction to a physical piece of your body being lost. That we think of grief as being solely about losing a person is actually backwards, but it's only been recently that people could survive losing a chunk of themselves! And you have to find a way through that grief.

I didn't do this before getting surgery and that was a mistake, because I probably would have made different decisions in re the nuance rather than just telling my surgeon "cut them all off I don't care". You do have to care, dude, that's your body! You have to live with that decision forever! You should get as custom a job as possible!

Anyway, the only safe binders are from underworks (or similar designs/materials, but underworks has been supplying trans folks for decades they know their shit and its affordable). I was a huge fan of the front-hook longline, which I would use tiny binder clips to pull under my briefs and clip the bottom edge to the outside seam of the leg opening. Tritops are very popular among many with C or smaller cups. Anything in this line is a binder. The only safe way to bind is by pushing your tits up and to the sides, or straight out to the sides horizontal, NOT DOWN. Never pull down, that is going to give you nerve and muscle and all kinds of back and shoulder damage. Listen to me, listen: Do not fuck with your spine.

Is it really that bad if im between sizes of a binder and i size down? Cause i really dont care for my safety rn. I want my tits away i hate them so much fuck

Binding too tight can harm your back, ribs, skin, respiratory system, and chest even beyond just damage to the tits my guy. It sucks ass but if you fuck your body up too bad for short term results it’s very likely to fuck up your long-term goals, too

I’ve seen dudes with concave pecs, wobbly ribs, and poor grafts that needed corrective surgery on TOP of a mastectomy when they got theirs done, and the cosmetic effects like discolouration from chafing, scarring, inflammation, and fungal infections from binding too long improperly or too frequently can’t always be erased

Shit sucks ass HARD, but being gentle to your body now is an investment that pays off in the long-term.

Your body wants you to be safe and happy too, and it’s not its fault any more than it is yours. It doesn’t want to cause you pain. My best advice is to try to find a compromise and work towards your goals together

[manifestingitgurlll]

separate yourself from ego!!

always remember that they are you (as is everything), but you are not them. you're not their thoughts or feelings or experiences. you are just consciousness, the observer. so let ego do whatever!

if they want to rant about how they don't have their desire, let them. if they want to cry and scream about it, just watch. know that it's not you and that none of it matters.

this is why i truly love separating myself consciously between the two. it gets to a point where ego just...moves on from manifestation in general. it doesn't fight me. i observe and i know what i say is the only thing that matters. that i'm the player and they're just the character.

how do i do that? i basically just talk out loud and treat it like a whole other person. for example, this is how it would go:

ego - "ugh i really want food. like im so hungry i wish i had some. why can't i ever have the food i want? now i have to eat garbage. i hate it here."

me - "hm ego is really hungry right now, she's mad she doesn't have food. well, i already have food. i actually have my favorite food and it's so yummy. i'm really glad i have it. she's stuck on the old story but she'll recognize the new one soon."

ego - "well. i guess i'll just stay hungry ☹️"

again, i feel like i sound crazy 😍 but idk it works for me. ego doesn't fight cause i literally ignored it. i didn't try to control it's thoughts or anything, i let it continue to complain and do whatever. why? bcs i know the truth! i know the real story. so whatever ego says is meaningless. and that's what it means to truly not identify.

eventually, i do think i'd get to a point where i don't have to separate it like this, and i'd just have that silent knowing in the back of my head. but i love talking to myself, so this is more normal for me.

it sounds weirdddd but give it a try?

[kittycatfite]

Masterlist of all my Stobotnik Fanfictions

Everything is linked to their respective series and fics, has descriptions, and are marked to say if the series is ongoing or on hiatus/abandoned. Any abandoned fics will also be marked.

I am making this to be my pinned post, sorry it’s real long. This will be updated regularly as I write new fics :)

Series:

Stone in Sonic Boom: Stone was always in Sonic Boom, what do you mean you don't remember him? That is Eggman's husband right there! ONGOING

Emotional Support Rock Prequel to Stobotnik Boom which tells the story of how Stone and Robotnik got together.

Stobotnik Boom Agent Stone? Yeah, he has always been here. Don't question it! This is a look into the domestic life of Stobotnik in Sonic Boom.

Stobotnik Boom Group Chat Group chat fic set in the Stobotnik Boom AU

Crab Era: My pride and joy! A collection of all my Robotnik and Stone fics when they are in the crab. I write a lot of theses so I wanted a way to keep them together. There is no over arcing plot. :) ONGOING

Ribs Stone accidently tells the doctor he loves him which leads to being pinned to a wall. Robotnik has self confidence issues about his added weight but Stone is ready to show him just how loved he is.

Cuddling in the Crab Robotnik is feeling clingy because Stone is cooking dinner and not pay attention to him.

Dads and the cat they “Don’t Want” Stone finds a kitten, Robotnik is against keeping her for a whopping ten minutes.

Sleepovers Stone sleeps on the floor of Robotnik's room while he is still healing from fall from the emerald mech. He gets caught.

Gay Crab Shenanigans Robotnik has recently begun a romantic relationship with Stone and he has no idea how to actually ask for the affection he wants. Stone is happy to provide anything he needs, even without being directly asked

Separation Anxiety How one shopping trip runs long leaving both Robotnik and Stone anxious to reunite. The same story is told twice, once from Robotnik’s point of view and then Stone’s.

Hot Mess Dr. Robotnik thinks poorly of himself post-fall and can't figure out why Stone stays after everything. Stone is just happy to be able to help the doctor and provide comfort in any way that he can.

Soft Stone is somehow more affected by hate comments directed at Robotnik than if he had been stabbed, Robotnik is promised a handmade gift, there are cupcakes and tears. Neither of these men are good at regulating their emotions.

Casual Intimacy Robotnik thinks they’re dating, Stone thinks his love is unrequited. They’re gay and stupid, idk what else to say.

Comfort Meals Robotnik is barely out of his full body cast post fall. Stone is stressed and anxious because he is constantly worrying about the doctor, so he starts cooking dishes to bring them both comfort. Robotnik discovers things about his agent and himself.

Stone Is More Screwed Up, Actually: These fics have an over arcing plot but can be read separately since I wasn't planning on making one when I first started writing theses. Hmmm... Freaks<3 ONGOING

Some call it Stalking Care can take people to some strange places. For Stone it leads him to break into his boss's apartment every night. Tw: stalking.

Sleeping on The Job Robotnik doesn’t sleep while trying to beat a deadline, Stone is sick of his antics and takes matters into his own hands. Tw: Drugging.

Jealous, Jealous Boy its not that there are other people in Robotnik's life, Stone told himself, its that those people were idiots. They didn't deserve to be in presence of the genius, especially since it so clearly aggravated Robotnik. Stone killed more people than just the assassins that targeted the doctor. Tw: murder.

Symbiotik Stobotnik: Stone is a symbiote that bonds with overworked scientist Dr Ivo Robotnik This is a Stobotnik as Venom and Eddie Au except they are not the hero or even antihero of this story. They are focused on surviving and thriving. Hiatus (Fate Undetermined)

Trusty Barnacle Dr. Ivo Robotnik is a overworked scientist who wants to study extraterrestrial beings but is usually just assigned space rocks or plants. One day an alien slime is delivered to his door and it grows attached to the eccentric man. An understanding of the Venom Universe (movie or comics) is not needed to enjoy this.

The Doctor’s Appointment Follow up to Trusty Barnacle. This was a scene I cut from the original fic where Tom and Maddie get worried about Robotnik.

NSFW Symbiotik Stobotnik Oneshots (Abandoned) Collection One NSFW fics from my Symbiotik Stobotnik AU. Knowledge of the og fic in this AU is not needed (Stone is an alien called a Symbiote based on the character Venom from Marvel). Any chapters are probably not going to impact the overall story I want to tell and can be skipped over because I understand that some of theses fics are not everyone’s cup of latte!:)

Singles (includes oneshots and multi-chapter fics):

People Throw Rocks At Things That Shine Three snippets of Agent Stone’s first year working for Robotnik. Based on the song Ours by Taylor swift so there are references to those lyrics (some on purpose, some accidental).

Our Little Secret Agent Stone paints his nails in an interesting pattern. Robotnik finds out. What will happen? (Spoiler: Gayness)

That’s That Me, Eggspresso Overworked college professor Dr Ivo Robotnik needs a decent coffee place that is within walking distance of the school. Luckily, Karen's Coffee has recently come under new management after Karen is sent to jail for embezzlement. The new barista is quite good at making the Doctor's specific latte's and it doesn't help that he is also quite cute.

When Did We Install a Game Room in the Basement? Dr. Eggman is building Egg Toy Land and likes sharing his new hobby with his husband, Agent Stone. (Based on Sonic Rumble)

He Forgot What Kisses Were https://www.tumblr.com/technically-human/781294920185085952/first-kiss-robotnik-totally-forgot-that-kisses (also chapter 38 of Sweet Talk by CasiHuman) Go look at this comic!!! it changed my life!!! I wrote a little fic about it with a happy little ending because I can’t stop thinking about them.

The Strongest (Egg)Man This came from my tumblr post about game Eggman's strength and eyes. What if the chaos energy effected Dr. Robotnik in strange ways? When he returns to Stone, he is stronger and his eyes match other interation's of Dr. Eggman.

Make That Rock a Goat Stone is goat ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Fluff ensues? This is just what came out of scrolling through the Mobian!Stone tag on tumblr.

Heartbeat What if Robotnik and Stone were married the whole time? Their wedding rings transmit their heartbeats to each others rings so they can always feel each other's pulse.

Gay People Play Among Us In The Crab Stobotnik plays Among Us in the crab. Some stupid little humor because this tag was getting angsty lately:,)

I Think I am In Love With My Boss! What Should I Do? Reddit user Pebble’sThrowawayaccount1982 posted I Think I Am In Love With My Boss! What should I do? + three updates. BONUS I made a brain rot tiktok version.

Making Our Own Family Business Ivo Robotnik is a paranormal hunter who travels solo until he keeps running into fellow hunter, Aban Stone. They start traveling together to find Ivo’s missing grandfather Gerald and the demon who tricked Stone into killing his colleague.

(Pr)Eggman Stobotnik Mpreg fic because Ivo may not have won that poll, but I still have free will. And I use it for this. It's mostly fluff because they deserve happiness. Tw for nausea, vomiting, and Mpreg. I just wanna make sure everyone knows what to expect before we get this rollercoaster started.

Bats and Dogs Get Along Surprisingly Well While it isn't scientifically proven that vampires and werewolves are real, Dr. Ivo Robotnik sure knows they are. His evidence is that he is a vampire. His assistant Agent Stone, on the other hand, must be a clueless idiot because he hasn’t noticed the genius’s vampiric tendencies even after two years working by his side.

If you leave a comment or kudo just know I am crying happy tears every time I see it!💜❤️

[rooksamoris]

this is an analysis of jamil's solo song snippet!! im going by the fan translation of the wonderful @winterspellsfrozenkit who has provided fan translations of the other snippets as well!! without further ado, here is a copy of their translation followed by the analysis.

蛇と瞬き-JAMIL: 

Jewels and magic cannot Fulfill the wishes in me Knowing no end To days filled with misery. Gasping as I just try to breathe Desires creeping out, trying to leave The more that I desire,  The more narrow this place is The light will never fade in me My anger will never cease to be If only I could expose it all Ah ah ah!  A shadow is dancing Listen to the insatiable voice Freedom’s in my hand,  Like I’m cursing and To the end I’ll FLY-yah-yah Ah ah… Not enough to get by-ah-ah The Snake and Blink

let's do a line by line analysis of the song and then i'll share my thoughts!!

"jewels and magic cannot/fulfill the wishes in me" immediately what comes to mind is marx's theory of commodity fetishism which he writes about in capital volume one.

"A commodity appears, at first sight, a very trivial thing, and easily understood. Its analysis shows that it is, in reality, a very queer thing, abounding in metaphysical subtleties and theological niceties. So far as it is a value in use, there is nothing mysterious about it, whether we consider it from the point of view that by its properties it is capable of satisfying human wants, or from the point that those properties are the product of human labour" Karl Marx, Das Kapital

basically, commodity fetishism is what happens when we value commodities outside of the labor that goes into creating them. it is most blatant with things like designer items because we are so separated from the labor and yet put some idealist value onto the product for the label. commodity fetishism begins in the supply chain when the capitalist, who owns the means of production, separates the commodity from the laborers who make it. it happens when you purchase clothes and don't acknowledge the labor and raw material extraction that went through making those clothes.

in this case, jamil is acknowledging that commodities are not what he wants, even though in his book seven dream we see that he merely replaces his hierarchical position with that of the al-asim family, whom he is loyal to through the caste system. deep down, jamil knows that it is not what will fulfill him which is why in the wish event all he asks for is one trip where he can go some place where no one knows him and the curse of his caste lineage cannot oppress him. what jamil wants is freedom, not wealth and power.

jamil himself deals with commodity fetishism, in which his labor/labor power is the commodity. his time, effort and his very life are commodities, and because of this, he is heavily alienated from his work and others. jamil's position in society allows for him to be dehumanized and that is an alienating experience. he is nothing more than what he can bring kalim.

"Presupposing private property, my work is an alienation of life, for I work in order to live, in order to obtain for myself the means of life. My work is not my life. Secondly, the specific nature of my individuality, therefore, would be affirmed in my labour, since the latter would be an affirmation of my individual life. Labour therefore would be true, active property. Presupposing private property, my individuality is alienated to such a degree that this activity is instead hateful to me, a torment, and rather the semblance of an activity. Hence, too, it is only a forced activity and one imposed on me only through an external fortuitous need, not through an inner, essential one. My labour can appear in my object only as what it is. It cannot appear as something which by its nature it is not. Hence it appears only as the expression of my loss of self and of my powerlessness that is objective, sensuously perceptible, obvious and therefore put beyond all doubt" Karl Marx, Comment on James Mill

the last line heavily applies to jamil since his work, serving the al-asim family, is a loss of himself. he lowers himself, his intelligence, his abilities, and his strength for the sake of kalim. he is powerless in this situation, as he has stated previously, since upsetting kalim's father could drag his entire family into the streets or worse. his work is not something he does because he sees value in it for the betterment of society or for personal enlightenment, but because he is forced to.

a lot of this can be attributed to the english translation being so bad and censoring so much?? here's some examples that come to mind!!

chalking things up to just "im loyal to kalim" really lowers the stakes and it blurs how bad things truly are for jamil.

"Knowing no end/To days filled with misery" i find this issue comes a lot with the fandom, but we forget that jamil born into an unfair caste system and has no real way out of it. his suffering is endless and if he marries and has children, he will just be dragging them down with him.

unlike a wage laborer, jamil is stuck working for the al-asim family because of his lower caste. we don't know if he earns money at all, but i highly doubt it. his situation is like other caste situations in which he and his family have their home tied to the al-asim's. jamil is doing "well" but at the price that his family serves kalim's. sure, he is housed and fed, but at the cost that his life be at risk to save kalim's. since caste is tied to lineage and tradition, there really is no escape for jamil from this.

also, reminder that if jamil literally dies taste-tasting something for kalim, there will be no consequences. imagine being a child and learning that another kid's life is more sacred than yours because of your unlucky birth?

"When one individual inflicts bodily injury upon another such that death results, we call the deed manslaughter; when the assailant knew in advance that the injury would be fatal, we call his deed murder. But when society places hundreds of proletarians in such a position that they inevitably meet a too early and an unnatural death, one which is quite as much a death by violence as that by the sword or bullet; when it deprives thousands of the necessaries of life, places them under conditions in which they cannot live – forces them, through the strong arm of the law, to remain in such conditions until that death ensues which is the inevitable consequence – knows that these thousands of victims must perish, and yet permits these conditions to remain, its deed is murder just as surely as the deed of the single individual; disguised, malicious murder, murder against which none can defend himself, which does not seem what it is, because no man sees the murderer, because the death of the victim seems a natural one, since the offence is more one of omission than of commission. But murder it remains." Conditions of the Working Class in England, Friedrich Engels

i share this quote with you guys because i want to remind you all, if jamil dies in service of kalim, it is murder since people knew it was possible that he would die. i remind you of this argument because further lyrics have a more revolutionary spirit to them. what jamil did was wrong, but violence only creates more violence, and violence against one's oppressor and oppressive state is a reaction, not unwarranted. poverty and caste are violent. it is my belief that if someone dies in poverty because of the state's refusal to provide these people with healthcare, housing, or food, it is murder with the blood being on the hands of the state.

in this case, the violence done to jamil is due to caste. there is a constant threat of his family being thrown to the streets if he dares to rebel. jamil has been doing an adult's work since before he could properly even reach over the stove. what jamil did was cruel, knowing that kalim trusted him, he betrayed him, but that betrayal did not come from a place of pure malice. as a child, he knew kalim was deemed more important than him and was stripped of his autonomy because of it.

"Gasping as I just try to breathe/Desires creeping out, trying to leave/The more that I desire,/The more narrow this place is" here, jamil is restarting his desires and depicting his life experience as suffocating. he desires just as anyone else does, but he has no means of reaching these desires.

marx writes a lot on the way "want" is a motivation which keeps the workers alienated and working for the possibility of earning enough to enjoy the things that bring true fulfillment in life.

"Self-renunciation, the renunciation of life and of all human needs, is its principal thesis. The less you eat, drink and buy books; the less you go to the theatre, the dance hall, the public house; the less you think, love, theorise, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you save – the greater becomes your treasure which neither moths nor rust will devour – your capital. The less you are, the less you express your own life, the more you have, i.e., the greater is your alienated life, the greater is the store of your estranged being. Everything ||XVI| which the political economist takes from you in life and in humanity, he replaces for you in money and in wealth; and all the things which you cannot do, your money can do. It can eat and, drink, go to the dance hall and the theatre; it can travel, it can appropriate art, learning, the treasures of the past, political power – all this it can appropriate for you – it can buy all this: it is true endowment. Yet being all this, it wants to do nothing but create itself, buy itself; for everything else is after all its servant, and when I have the master I have the servant and do not need his servant. All passions and all activity must therefore be submerged in avarice. The worker may only have enough for him to want to live, and may only want to live in order to have that." Economic and Philosophical Manuscripts of 1844, Karl Marx

ultimately, these wants further push us into positions of submission to capitalism and labor. it is like the concept of working to live. you do labor, have your surplus value extracted, and maybe eventually you'll get the chance to take your family on a nice vacation. since jamil is not a wage laborer, and instead a member of a servant caste, this manifests a bit differently in his case, but marx's point of self-renunciation still applies. jamil is a creative person, like we know he is good at dancing and cooking, but the latter is in service of kalim and the former he tries to lower to not outshine kalim. he has the ladder to reach for the stars but he isn't allowed to.

he is alienated from himself in this way. i don't think anyone just performs their creative arts for the sake of praise, but praise is nice. artists post their art, writers post their writings, dancers and actors and singers perform, because art is something to be shared. art is also something which is infamously bought and gate-kept by the wealthy.

how much has jamil really been able to explore his creative passions? every waking hour is spent making sure kalim is alive and satisfied. kalim can dance and make music because he has the time and resources to, jamil has much less of that since his existence is tied to the well-being of kalim. his "passions are submerged in avarice" because it is through wealth and visibility that kalim get the time for his art, which is exactly what jamil does not have. it makes the point of his book seven dream so much more interesting, because even though he truly does not wish for wealth, but instead freedom, subconsciously, he acknowledges the power and blessing that is great wealth.

what jamil is saying here is that the more that he wants, the more that he yearns and longs for things, such as freedom, the more suffocated he becomes. capitalism creates the disparities for this want to exist, waves possibilities around, and then pulls the goal post further and further from us. jamil sees the freedom of others every day, he sees the privilege of kalim all the time, and the finish line just gets farther and farther away from him. "this place" becomes more and more narrow the bigger he dreams, so he may as well make himself and his ambitions as small as possible to fit into his caste.

"The light will never fade in me/My anger will never cease to be/If only I could expose it all" here jamil acknowledges that despite his attempts to not want, to make himself smaller for the sake of kalim, his desires will truly never cease, nor will his anger.

"if only i could expose it all" is a rebellious cry and it makes me wonder if the caste system is deemed unacceptable by others. is this, like in our world, an archaic form of oppression that people deem barbaric? or is he talking about exposing his resentment and finally taking back his autonomy by violent means?

"The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles. Freeman and slave, patrician and plebeian, lord and serf, guild-master and journeyman, in a word, oppressor and oppressed, stood in constant opposition to one another, carried on an uninterrupted, now hidden, now open fight, a fight that each time ended, either in a revolutionary reconstitution of society at large, or in the common ruin of the contending classes." The Manifesto of the Communist Party, Marx and Engels

marx is not saying that revolution is inevitable, but that it is always a possibility, and if revolution does not happen, the oppressed class will just be further oppressed. jamil is the oppressed and the al-asim family are the oppressors. as we see, he is fearful of what could happen of kalim's father got wind of him rebelling. jamil's overblot was the manifestation of all the violence done to him, releasing in a violent revolutionary act. what he did was cruel, but i would argue it is even more cruel to let a child believe that his life is lesser than that of his peer.

now im gonna get into frantz fanon and the wretched of the earth, i couldn't help myself </3

"And it is clear that in the colonial countries the peasants alone are revolutionary, for they have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The starving peasant, outside the class system, is the first among the exploited to discover that only violence pays...The exploited man sees that his liberation implies the use of all means, and that of force first and foremost... non-violence. In its simplest form this non-violence signifies to the intellectual and economic elite of the colonized country that the bourgeoisie has the same interests as they and that it is therefore urgent and indispensable to come to terms for the public good." The Wretched of the Earth, Fanon

these lines read to me like a cry for freedom. it is the young revolutionary raising his gun in the face of his oppressor, it is the peasants arming burning down the manor, the villagers destroying the basileos's estate and taking the economy and politics in their own hands. his anger will never be satisfied until he gets what he is owed, his very own life. all those years spent taking care of kalim have just been years of the constant reminder of his status.

under a caste system, your lineage is what decides your fate, and for jamil that means he will serve the al-asim's till he dies. he cannot escape this. many caste systems, such as the one in yemen, make it so that you cannot even marry out of your caste, and no matter how much wealth you accumulate, you will still be considered a member of the servant caste. while it is fun to imagine jamil marrying out of his caste and moving away somewhere, the reality is that it is most likely not plausible. his parents probably married because they were both in the same servant caste, and if he ever ended up married, it would probably be to someone in his same caste.

i've repeated it a million times, but there is no escape. he is suffocating and violence is the only way out, it seems.

"A shadow is dancing/Listen to the insatiable voice/Freedom’s in my hand, /Like I’m cursing and/To the end I’ll FLY-yah-yah/Ah ah… Not enough to get by-ah-ah" for the sake of time, i'm going to analyze this all together since i feel like i've been writing this since the release of those snippets.

now, the shadow can be many things. im most convinced it is referring to the manifestation of his resentment, the overblot phantom. @estcaligo has this post discussing blot as a physical manifestation and the cultural depictions of negative emotions as something physical. and i reblogged it with this post adding onto the islamic/sufi depiction of nafs and how it relates to overblot.

here's what i said on the topic and i will relate it back to these last few lines of the fan translation:

"the word nafs is derived from nafas which means breathing. nafs, colloquially means self/person. for example, in my dialect of arabic, we say "nafsi" to mean "myself" since the "ee" sound makes a phrase possessive. theologically, nafs is most often referring to the soul. i think the idea of nafs coming from the word nafas/breathing is important in this case. you breath in and out. you take in and then you release. in islam, nafs is cannot be bad or good or beautiful and so on, but it is more like your health, something you nurture. you feed your nafs bad things, it will have a bad reaction and release bad into the world. when it comes to the blot and overblot in twst, we can imagine the blot accumulation is their nafs being corrupted and their overblot is the release of their tainted nafs. the whole idea of the phantoms being created from the blot, and the characters having to fight them off (like jamil arguing with his phantom that he is not imprisoned like a genie). this concept exists within the quran, the idea of battling that which corrupts your nafs through jihad. and no, not jihad like the crusades, but general struggle. jihad just means struggle... ultimately, this struggle is what helps clear the nafs of corruption, and when we battle the mages who have overblotted, we are faced with the negative emotions which led them there, and they struggle against them to survive."

the blot is fed by external experiences that deepen the negative feelings of the mages, which corrupts their magic. for example, leona has a scene of blot accumulation when jack says something that reminds him of his elder brother, who he resents.

right after this, the ink spills.

like leona and the others, jamil's blot has been fed by all sorts of negative experiences which nurtured the seeds of his resentment until it grew too much to be held within the confines of his soul, and so it burst and released into the form of the phantom. this is exactly the way nafs is depicted in islam. to counteract it, you try to feed your nafs good things.

the negative voices in jamil's head, the voices of his parents and the figures of authority who keep stacking heavier things onto the boulder he's rolling up the mountain fighting against his reason. the "insatiable voice" is the urge to just say 'fuck it' and go wild. to attack those who oppress him, to hurt kalim, the symbol of his disenfranchisement, and forget about his responsibilities to his family. it's tragic. "freedom's in my hand" at the cost of so much, but he has been pushed to the point where it seems worth it to just release it all. he wants to drop the boulder and let it crush whoever was climbing the mountain behind him. "cursing" may refer to the cost of his freedom.

like he says, he cannot just drag his family into the streets for his own freedom. imagine the devastation of his family, of his sister if he decided to defect. they would face the consequences of his actions, cursed by his need for freedom, while he was off away doing whatever it is that he wanted. the cost is a curse, and it is too great.

of course, "fly" is commonly used to depict a state of transcendence and escape, so i won't stick too long on it. the next part, "not enough to get by" reminds me a lot of the story of icarus. it seems like that despite his desire for freedom, jamil subconsciously sees it as a doomed ambition. even if he does fly, his wings will melt. something will pull the ladder out from under him as he reaches to grasp the stars, something will grab him by his hair and drag him back down the hellish life he's been living.

i've been wracking my brain for a while about "the snake and blink" part of the song and here's the ideas i've got so far before i conclude:

a) the usual christian symbolism of snakes being the temptation of knowledge, corruption--you guys know the garden of eden story. john milton's paradise lost snake.

this analysis suggests that the snake is some sort of temptation, and the moment jamil blinks, it disappears.

b) other cultures don't view snakes in a negative light. i talk about it more here, but in islamic culture, snake iconography is used in hospitals and some art depicts snakes stinging away evil spirits. the islamic story of adam and eve does not feature a snake and instead the whispers of iblis/satan.

there's the middle eastern folktale of shahmaran, queen of snakes. she is a half snake half woman creature who is never portrayed as good or bad. sometimes she is an oracle and other times she is respected or tricked into being killed. kurds specifically have her symbolize good luck and many depictions of her death regard her sympathetically.

in ancient egypt, wadjet, the cobra goddess is a protective goddess who was the nurse to the infant horus, and protected isis. in many iterations, she symbolizes greenery and fertility. the aztec deity quetzalcoatl is a "feathered snake" whose domain is rain, wind, learning and agriculture. he brings life and had a role in bringing about the world. the naga is a half-human half-cobra who is often depicted as the protector of siddhartha gautama and the buddha. they are powerful and dangerous when angered, and protective.

im gonna make a full post about snake symbolism and jamil some other day, but for now, these interpretations of the snake make things seem less sinister and more hopeful.

these snakes are instead symbolizing life, protection, and the possibility of a future, but these hopes are gone away in a blink "snake and blink" as he says at the end of the snippet.

for just a quick conclusion of my overall thoughts. i think the rest of this song will further play on this idea of freedom and desire. i like it a lot. no, i LOVEEEE it omg the vocal performance??? that high note is constantly replaying in my mind like jeez the rent was due. the themes are loyal to jamil's character and i wonder how the song will end, yk?? will any of these songs have a positive/hopeful conclusion? personally, i think i prefer the ideas of all the threads not being completely tied. as much as i felt sad during the kalim and jamil interactions in book five, i felt like it was best that it ended that way. i agreed with silver's "let them fight it out" sentiment during book seven as well because i dont think anything can truly fix the issues between them.

IM DONE!! hope you guys enjoyed this long ass analysis of that like less than two minutes snippet of jamil viper's solo song!! idk if i have the energy to do the other ones as well, but malleus' and leona's brought some interesting eco-criticism stuff to mind.

[whetstonefires]

Second thing is Wei Wuxian's self worth issues, the extent to which he does view himself as disposable.

I've seen a lot, and a few times already in the notes on this post, that the main reason he's like this is the Jiang family. They raised him, they had some serious toxicity in there, one of them hated him, etc. Obvious! We can all relate!

And I mean. That didn't help. The issues in that family certainly can be considered a major reason he didn't get past that idea as much as might be hoped!

But I really, really don't think they're the source of it--of his compulsion to be useful; of his deep seated belief that relationships and homes are things that can always be taken away if you fail to deserve them, and so forth.

I think that's because he had a formative experience of being disposable.

Of being a trash person. Someone already thrown away b society. Of knowing for a fact that he was the only person in the world who cared if he lived or died; that no one had any use for him and therefore he, a small child, had no value. Of living on anyway.

He internalized at a profoundly formative age that he was owed nothing, that being alive was something to work for and earn moment by moment.

And that most people placed in that position would die before long, and that he was unusually capable of surviving.

He was six tops when he was orphaned. Lan Wangji, whose life was otherwise stable if somewhat oppressive, was fucked up a bit for life just by losing his mom at that age and not being given the support he needed to process it.

Being homeless is not like. A self-contained Trauma Event. It's not separate from, or to the side of his life. It's foundational. It was formative. It was his life, at the exact age when people are learning to have abstract thoughts about the world in a systematic way.

He developed his identity to a considerable degree in the context of being given nothing without earning it, and having to seek out the opportunities even to do the earning, because no one was interested in offering them.

The Dogs Thing is not a traumatic event. It's part of the outcome of an entire lifestyle that was fundamentally traumatic. Years as a small child of contriving to get by in a world that was hostile to his existence, by default. Of having to earn every mouthful.

The thing about Wei Wuxian when we see him as a teenager is that he doesn't take this shit seriously because he knows it's not that serious. Not worth stressing about. Everything in his life as a prominent disciple of a major sect is fantastic.

Especially because his master spoils him! He doesn't have to earn his food. They just give it to him. They just...give it to him.

There aren't no strings, and on some level he takes those strings deadly seriously even more than is actually necessary, but his understanding of his position in the Jiang, after a certain point we don't see him arrive at because the time between the first night and the Cloud Recesses is not given to us in detail, is that he is safe.

And that this is an unbelievable luxury worth indulging in.

Having a problem like 'someone who isn't allowed to maim him trying to make him feel bad' might piss him off if he thinks they're being unjust about it, but for the most part it's a fun problem to have.

(This is a huge part of his and lwj's initial failure to connect; he seems as though he's frivolous because he's shallow, but he's actually like this because he thinks most of this surface-level stuff the cultivation world takes so seriously is what's frivolous.)

He's like this because, even after half a lifetime with the Jiang, his baseline for 'a problem' is set so high. The Abyss sequence in Caiyi isn't a serious situation because they could always just leave.

Sure they could die here, sure something has to be done about this by somebody, but they are all on flying swords and the problem is localized to a lake. If they wanted they could just leave, which means it's...not that bad.

A dangerous night hunt is like. It's a play-pretend at a traumatic situation, to him. It's like...it's almost exactly like how kink is rendered safe by the existence of safewords, of being able to stop, of the fact that you are in this situation on an ongoing basis of your own free will.

This is a huge part of why he's such a larger-than-life figure who's able to act so forcefully, and so on. But it is also the result of trauma, and if triggered correctly results in counterproductive behaviors, which is in some ways what gets him killed.

Madam Yu is being given way too much credit when centered in interpretations of Wei Wuxian's issues. She had a definite influence on him, but as a stressor she had nothing on just, like. Being alive in a world that was aggressively and unanimously indifferent to your desire for basic necessities, at the age of seven.

Jiang Cheng is the one she traumatized.

Post I just saw made me think of this again: Wei Wuxian does not have self-esteem issues.

He thinks he's amazing, because he is.

His sense of his own value is a little fucked up, and tied up in demonstrating how amazing he is by fixing all serious problems and mocking all stupid ones, and when his methods stop working and he can no longer prove this to his own satisfaction he has a profound crisis about it, which he's still shaking off when we meet him.

But self-esteem is super very much not a thing he struggles with. He is a genius who received regular validation about his excellence in a form that satisfied him both as very a small child and from the ages of ~8 to ~17. He has a clear system of ethics which he is most of the time able and willing to act on; he feels really good about himself as a person whenever severe trauma is not actively making that very hard to do.

His default state is obnoxiously high self-esteem.

In-story accusations of arrogance are strictly speaking correct, it's just that most of the inferences about the rest of his character people draw from this trait are deeply wrong.

His willingness to self-destruct is at least as heavily wrapped up in his conviction that because he's so awesome and tough and clever he can handle things other people can't, as it is in the idea that he's disposable.

So yeah the thing is. He really genuinely actually did sacrifice himself for Jiang Cheng in part because he thinks he's better than Jiang Cheng. Stronger, braver, smarter. More adaptable.

And he was right! And Jiang Cheng knows he was right!

Which I love because like. That's not a relationship conflict you can fix, exactly. You really do have to just...get over it, or don't. And one of the things Wei Wuxian was demonstrating his (well-founded) lack of faith in Jiang Cheng's ability to do was. Getting Over Things.

[bulldog-butch]

I don’t have any issue with individuals who view their sexuality and gender as detached from each other, but I do have an issue with trying to get everyone to agree that they’re inherently separate. My gender and sexuality are inextricably linked, one is always informing the other and in many ways they are one. It seems like a very modern idea that they are so separate and I hate that people assume that we are smarter or know better than people of the past. And again if you experience them as separate that’s totally fine, just don’t expect that everyone else has to believe that for themselves as well

[lagooneah]

My personal ranking of the KPop Demon Hunters OST Tracks!

Disclaimer: I really like all of this OST, so the lowest doesnt mean I hate it, its just not my favorite!

Least favorite to favorite:

7. Takedown - No particular reason, I like it but it doesnt top the others.

6. Soda Pop - I really like this one! Mainly for the choreography, it's only low because I feel like it might get annoying if I listen to it too much lmaoooo. Also, I do really like the hidden messages of them being demons feeding off of their fans, saying they're "their soda pop" and that its "1000% you"- because they are quite literally consuming THEM.

5. How It's Done - Awesome- and I mean KICKASS- intro to this movie. It was really giving badass, which is part of why I think that Takedown maybe wasn't the best because this one did what that one was doing so much better imo.

4. Golden - REALLY LOVED THIS ONNNEEEE. It was so poppy, and the vocals were so good. It opens the door for the core of what the movie delivers. Imperfections, though this song acknowledges them and claims to own them, Rumi is still hidden and conflicted (with the lyric of what they swear by as hunters sprinkled in).

🥉3. Your Idol - The choreo and vocals were NASTY. These mfs would've gotten my soul deadass. It's a perfect balance of blatant manipulation and using someone while also being seductive and sweet enough to trick into a sense of love or acceptance. It's like the Saja Boys siren song, and I LOVE what it does.

🥈2. Free - This one was so sweet and cute- it really was an understanding between Rumi and Jinu, and I LOVED seeing them conflicted and connecting! Especially through music, the weapon that they're both using to combat each other. Their music comes together here, though, and for a moment its like they're connecting via the very thing that separates them: the Honmoon.

🥇1. What It Sounds Like - This one is up here because 1. VOCALS WOOOAAAHHHH. And 2. It has such a beautiful message. The come together song of Huntrix, the acceptance of each other's flaws that Golden points out, but instead Rumi leads with finally acknowledging these flaws and accepting herself, trusting the rest of Huntrix and her fans to accept her. "show me what's underneath, ill find your harmony" - "The song we couldn't write, this is what it sounds like" so very MUCH delivers a message that even transcends past the film and its characters and delves into the K-Pop Industry and how flaws are hidden and "perfection" is something constantly pushed- but these characters are breaking through 'that', however its shown in the plot - "But now we're seeing all the beauty in the broken glass" - This being the last song in the film was really THE choice. It ties the message of beauty in imperfections that the movie conveys beautifully, so that's REALLY why it's up here for me.

[bluejayblueskies]

Pharmakos | 24Hermione

[ID: Six photographs of a hand-bound book from various angles, showing the exterior and interior. The exterior is bound in blue cloth with silver wave details, as well as printed cardstock with the summary, title (Pharmakos) and author name (24Hermione) pasted on. The edges are splattered with silver and blue paint, and the endbands are sewn with silver and blue thread. The endpaper has blue and silver marbling that looks like water, and the title page, summary page, and chapter title pages have light blue wave graphics on them that match the cover. The chapter title pages also have blue dropcaps that are filled with a wave pattern. /End ID]

.

The first of my binds for this year's Fandom Trumps Hate event is Pharmakos by 24Hermione (@phoenixphire24)! I had a great time collaborating with Phoenix on this bind and working with yet another RQG fic. The fic has heavy ocean/nautical themes, so we went with an ocean-inspired bind. The graphics/cover details are all take from public domain artwork, and the endpapers were printed onto cardstock (my first time printing my own endpaper design! I was super happy with the quality of them).

I recently got a black and white laser printer in addition to the inket I own, and I love the crispness of the text I was able to achieve with it! I feel like there's so much less bleed through the paper (something that constantly vexed me with the inkjet), and it printed in probably a quarter of the time it would have taken my inkjet to do it. And I can still do color typesets--I just printed the black text using the laser printer, then printed the color accents separately using the inkjet! Excited to experiment with toner-reactive foil as well once I have the money to get a laminator.

Overall, I'm pleased with how this bind turned out--I really like the old classic book feel to this one, and the silver foil on the cover really shines in person!

[mi-co-uk]

blue!reader x saviour!matt

BLURB: "listen before I go" + "i love you"

this is part of my billie eilish writing marathon [here]

WARNINGS: this is a very very sensitive topic, it includes final messages before an unalive attempt, hospitals, argument, implied abuse, upsetting content !! please procede with caution or not at all if this is a triggering topic. I found it triggering to even write so please prioritise yourself if you aren't sure <33

a/n this was gonna be two parts but I made it into one !

wc: 1.4k

- this takes place after chapter 5 of my "coming clean" series but can be read separately ! it's also technically chapter 6 c:

AU MASTERLIST // NAV // ALL AUS

" hi matt im um- im really glad you didnt pick up.

Must be kinda weird hearing voice. [laughs] i didnt wanna show you i was better until, i guess until i felt it. He killed my voice bad right, sounds different. I feel a lot different.

Doesnt hurt anymore, thats good? Its the only thing that doesnt. I-i move sometimes and im just expecting someone to hit me or yell at me. Its like i can feel myself getting hit you know? I guess that might sound crazy. [small laugh]

Its nice here- colder than LA. i think youd like it, we have this woods nearby. ‘m not allowed there on my own though, ‘s not safe.

[sigh] i wish you were here. everyone tries- they really try but i cant do it. I hate talking, i hate living feeling like im gonna die any second, im afraid of everything. It feels like- like im rotting. like therapy is a way to cut me open to see the mould but then- then im just left cut open.

I dont know what to do with the feelings anymore. 

I feel infected. [sniff]

Im supposed to distract myself from it all, ‘m not supposed to think about it. I dont see why draining the memories out would work when ive been fucking bathing in them for years. 

I dont think i can live like this, matt. [quiet sob]

Im not even a person anymore.but  I dont know how to try being anything else. 

Im always just- empty. And i want you- so bad. I dont wanna feel like im buying time until i die any more. I-its like im lonely, but i feel like everything is suffocating me, like its crowded. 

I cant have you. ‘m not supposed to have anything- it sounds dumb, i have people. I was the reason i didnt have anyone in the first place. But now im just- im just a chore and im weighing everyone down. 

Everyones expecting me to do it. to- to leave. I dont know why im putting it off anymore. 

[sob] im sorry i just- im so sorry. [sniff]

I dont see another way out. 

I love you. "

It felt just how she described it, a crowded loneliness stemming from deep within. 

He wanted her to call back. She didnt. 

Matt had missed her call, but got her sisters call. A twisted compromise, as if the universe had firmly decided he wasnt allowed to talk to her, to stop her. He could only ever miss her. 

The plane ride was long, exhausting. He couldnt sleep at all. Theyd got this journey together not long ago. He held her hand, silent communication as she was too nervous to rest. She was terrified of how shed be greeted once she got there. And now matt was terrified.

Hed given himself this role, he grew almost confident in his abilities while she stayed with him. He was going to protect her, hed be her support, every second that she wanted him there. Her life was so fractured, people of value were scattered, her memories and sense of self were all scattered. Of course he didnt want to let her go, but he wanted what she wanted. Matt wanted her to live a life with the people she wanted there - he wanted her just to live. He wasnt there to see the way that idea changed for herself.

She wanted to apologise, to make amends. He never thought she meant final ones. 

The hospital lights burned into matts blank stare and red eyes. He refused to believe she could be gone. He refused to believe any of it was happening, even as it played out in front of him. 

Her voicemail didnt feel final. It felt like she was waiting, she wanted matt to stop her. He was supposed to stop her. She had so much life left, he had so many moments he wanted to share with her. She had an entire future waiting for her. It wasnt supposed to happen. She couldnt have meant it to happen. 

He got walked down to her room, matt was unresponsive. He couldnt bring himself to talk when he was convinced it was some sick nightmare. 

She wasnt awake, her sister sat aside her watching. She barely acknowledged matts entrance, like she was in a trance expecting her to spring back to life but only if she kept watch.

 It felt too sick to think but it looked as if she was already gone. Her body barely shifting, wires connected to her like she was a machine. Like she was never real in the first place. The scarring he remember had faded, no injuries from anyone but herself were on show. 

It could be easy to blame everyone else. Matt could get angry her sister, telling her she shouldve done more, been there more. How abandoned did she feel by her to have to call on matt when she hadnt seen him in months? He knew it wouldnt be productive. Hed get no where, break the only bond that was the reason he was even on the list to be able to see her. 

He kind of hoped shed just wake up, that shed feel his presence even so far out of reach. He wanted to be enough. But just showing up never is. And he didnt blame her for it.                                       

Her sister essentially hogged the space next to her on the hospital bed. It wasnt matts place to take that from her, he understood that at least. As days went on, her sister had warmed up to him. Less blaming, less anger for how he handled the situation. Matt didnt bother explaining himself, he didnt really care how her sister felt about him. Not when all he felt anyways was guilt.

Regardless, eventually he got to sit next to her. He stared long at her hands, he wouldnt touch them, he didnt want to know if they were cold, he didnt want to feel the weight and have to process that she really was both far gone and right in front of him. He also didnt think he could let go. It was easier than seeing her face, everytime he did he would wait for a twitch, slight movements of even just imaging that she would open her eyes.  

“They say she’ll wake up.” her sister broke the silence. “But i kind of expect her not to.”

“Dont say shit like that.” 

“What? She already gave up, matt. She gave up on me long before that.”

“No she didnt and you know that. He forced her to leave. She didnt understand what was happening and you cant blame her for that.”

She scoffed and stood up from the seat, pacing with her hands on her hips. “Im allowed to be upset.”

“You are but can you not do it while shes laying in front of you in a fucking hospital bed?! You dont think she knew she shouldnt have left? You think she never hated herself for it? Any amount of anger you have for anything shes done, she has for herself a million times over. You dont get to be angry, not right now.”

He felt a hand atop his own, forcing his head sharply around to face the one staring up at him. Her eyes were slowly adjusting to the light of the room, wanting to reach up at rub at them but was disturbed by the wires attached to her. 

“H-hey its okay, keep your arm still.”

She groaned at the instruction, moving her other arm in an attempt to pull it out. Matt held her arm back quickly. “No, stop!” he chuckled further seeing her eye roll in disapproval. 

She rested her head back against the pillow, staring directly at matt. He rubbed soothing patterns onto her arm with his thumb, she gave him a little wave and a small smile.

“hi,” he whispered, admiring the life in her eyes. All his feelings were rushing to him, the ache hed tried to buried down had been set free, tears beginning to brim in his eyes. 

She had a look of guilt, reaching up to hold his face in one of her hands. He leaned down to complete the gesture, smiling past the feeling of tears falling down his cheeks. She shook her head at him, frowning. 

“Im okay,” he sniffed, “i just love you.”

He placed kisses on her wrist as she caressed his face with her thumb. “Im sorry too.”

PLEASE READ

a/n my messages are open for anyone who needs support ! I know this is a very difficult topic and a lot of people try to cope by engaging in these topics but please talk to someone if you need to and I'm also here if you need anything <33

- i'll see you guys in a little while <3

[ilikekidsshows]

I’d hate to add to your messages talking about mlb, but if you’re not tired to rant about mlb yet, I wanna discuss how so much of this is caused by fans just not accepting the humanity of abusers and the neutrality of love. Like, feeling sympathy for abusers is not only normal, but almost expected in an abusive relationship. It’s why so many people stay in abusive relationships! Abusers are not always monstrous villains that hold you hostage through inescapable violence, often it’s your own feelings and sympathies that hold you hostage, because abusers are human too! And they can love you! Treating love as this ultimate source of goodness and light has done so much damage, because it really tricks people into thinking that if someone loves you they can’t hurt you, and if they hurt you then they aren’t sympathetic.

---

Exactly. That’s it 100%. The Miraculous fandom debated for literal years if Gabriel really loved Adrien or not because they had such a difficulty wrapping their head around the idea that Gabriel could abuse Adrien while still loving him. And, like, that’s specifically the biggest trap of parental abuse. Parents think that, as long as they’re loving, their behavior towards their kids can’t be abusive, and, when, years later, their grown up kids want to go no-contact due to the abuse, they feel like their child has spurned their love. Sometimes the kids grow up and say: “my parents did (insert abusive thing) but I wasn’t abused, I was loved.”

Similarly, a lot of abuse victims do stay in abusive relationships because there’s mutual love there, they can either think or hear others say things like: “they really love you” and “it would hurt them so much to never see you again”. People have heard of “lovebombing”, abusive behavior being followed up by extravagant expressions of love, and gone “ah, I see, so abusers only pretend to love their victims to get them to stay,” but that’s also not how it works. Sometimes the cycle is purposeful, but sometimes the abuser does lovebombing accidentally, because they realize they’ve overstepped and want to make up for their mistake. Abusers can genuinely regret their abusive actions, but it’s the lack of breaking away from these behaviors instead of merely making up for them that turns singular actions into abusive behavioral patterns.

Abuse doesn’t happen just because someone goes: “I think I will abuse my child/significant other/etc today”, it happens because some people use power in different forms against their loved ones, sometimes because they want to feel powerful, sometimes because they’re really stressed out and can’t be bothered to negotiate in a respectful way and sometimes they think they know better and the other party needs to be “persuaded” to take their good advice. Not all abusers are evil monsters who enjoy the suffering of others and thinking that’s how abuse works is naive and overly simplistic. It provides cover for so many abusers, because very few humans are so rotten that they never manage a genuine kind gesture towards someone.

The people writing Miraculous think remorse and separate kind gestures are enough to stop a character from being an abuser even when their behavior keeps coming back to the same abusive patterns. Gabriel making pancakes for Adrien in Season 5 and letting him quit modeling was supposed to be build-up to his vindication as a good person who only wanted the best for Adrien (ignore how he still mind-controlled him and put him into a sensory deprivation cell). Similarly, André making up for all the time he doesn’t spend with Chloé teaching her right from wrong by buying her expensive gifts means that he was a good father who did his best and he can’t be blamed for Chloé turning out the way she did (somehow Astruc is able to see Chloé has been “taught wrong” but can’t seem to be able to point the finger at the person who taught her to begin with).

The parents in Miraculous have done irreparable damage to their children, but, because they genuinely regret their actions and love their children, and most importantly, never hit them (because that’s the real abuse), their children are expected to accept and forgive their parents. I’d love to hear Astruc and crew’s thoughts on the parents of no-contact adult children whining about their kids abandoning them on Youtube.

[h0pebloomedfromtheabyss]

giyuu's idealism and moral compass because my brain will explode if they continues to get ignored (part 1/2)

part one: the standards he holds himself and others to as a pillar.

i) self control and emotional resilience

"do not forget kocho, we are hashira" giyuu criticizes shinobu for being too gentle on yae claiming that they are pillars, meaning that he believes that pillars shouldn't be vulnerable or allow emotions to determine their actions. this predominantly stems from his need to be logical since impulsivity leads to trouble but his past also plays a significant role. emotions were what made giyuu weak for so long. his depression hindered him for years after losing his loved ones so much that he couldn't function. this most definitely is the reason behind his excessively stoic demeanor.

this makes his criticism towards tanjiro for being sensitive more meaningful considering how he wanted him to become the next water pillar. giyuu believed that emotions are a weakness and that a pillar should be capable of controlling them. tanjiro not only wears his heart on his sleeve but he sympathizes with demons too which giyuu dislikes. how could he possibly be someone worthy of being a pillar?

ii) responsibility and protecting people

"whatever happens my core will not waver. we hashira are stronger than everyone else. we are the pillars that support the demon slayers. that is why we must never forget for whom we swing our swords and whom we protect. we can only be hashira because we have someone to be strong for" note that this was when he stopped contemplating whether sparing nezuko was a good idea or not so he was keeping the kamados in mind while reciting that. when he was saying "we can only be hashira because we have someone to be strong for" by someone, he was referring to the kids he helped out and how he sees it as nothing more than a responsibility of his to protect them (your honor. tanjiro and nezuko are his siblings) which is why he stood up for them. giyuu understands what being a pillar truly is about. he became a demon slayer not out of hatred but solely to protect people. his survivor's guilt also influences his mentality due to failing to "protect" his sister and best friend. this shows how despite acting all apathetic, he cares. he really does. the gaiden perfectly proves that.

even though he just told yae a few words and walked away, he still managed to comfort her because he knows that her father's last words (despite being short) will help her out in the long run. giyuu isn't another plain quiet guy, he'll aid others when he feels that they need it. his sentences are short but their impact on others lasts long.

so what can we conclude from this? giyuu has a few core principles which he strictly follows so much, he's willing to practically do anything, even defy authority, if it means that he can abide to them (as seen in the manga) you can even argue that even his guilt is rooted in his ideologies. he refused to consider himself as a pillar even though according to the rules he did pass the selection because it wasn't fair in his own eyes. he ideates suicide and thinks that his death would be a good thing because as he sees it, he robbed his loved ones of their lives. let's return to this panel again.

he doesn't simply say "all demons are bad" but rather "demons who eat humans are bad" meaning that what he detests is living off of the lives of innocent people. this is how giyuu separates good from bad. additionally, this is also the reason he hates himself and believes that he deserves to die because in his eyes, he robbed of them of their lives by living off of their sacrifice and therefore, failing his own ideologies. his guilt and misery are nothing more than punishment which he fully believes that he deserves...

giyuu's idealism (not in a philosophical sense) is an important aspect to his character along with his moral compass (which I will discuss in part two) these parts of him feels so criminally ignored especially considering how his perfectionism is present regardless of what universe he's in. this is the guy who canonically has beef with the board of education and the PTA in another au because of how harsh he and his expectations are on his students.

[part two will be published either today or tmr because it would be really unorganized if I crammed too much into one post]