#if it makes them feel better I do sob while I give them trauma

[good-morzan-inheritance-cycle]

The animatic is now in progress on my phone and in storyboarding stages. Will be moved to my iPad to begin genuine production into crappy anatomy and coloring shortly.

Couldn’t decide on baby a Murtaugh angst, or grown Murtaugh angst, so y’all get both.

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

✨writing rant because i’m UNWELL and someone said enemies to lovers is “overdone”✨

okay listen.

i don’t care how “overdone” the trope is. let her fall in love with the enemy prince. let him smile like a knife and lie like a prayer. let her fall anyway. and then let her stab him with a hairpin. a hairpin!! we deserve this.

this isn't about originality. this is about execution and emotional violence and aesthetically pleasing betrayal.

tropes aren’t dead. they’re haunting us in new outfits.

every trope is a reusable little narrative skeleton and you get to dress it in whatever cursed, beautiful, petty, yearning flesh your heart desires. you can take enemies to lovers and make it toxic, or tender, or tragic. you can give them shared trauma. you can make them childhood friends turned enemies turned lovers turned enemies again. you can make the stabbing literal or metaphorical. you can make it an almost-stabbing, where she presses the blade to his throat and doesn’t do it. you can make her do it and then sob in his arms while he bleeds out whispering her name like a prayer he never meant to say out loud.

you can make it GAY.

that’s the power of tropes. they’re not restrictive. they’re launchpads. they give readers expectations so you can BREAK them. or better--fulfill them in devastating, soul-twisting ways.

also. like. if you think a trope is “overdone” maybe it’s not the trope that’s the problem. maybe it’s just being written without any real teeth. no emotional bite. no stakes. no tension. no pain. and that’s not the trope’s fault. that’s just boring writing.

give me the obsessive yearning. give me the knife-to-throat confessions. give me the battlefield truce that turns into a five-second pause before they go right back to trying to kill each other. give me quiet moments in enemy territory where they realize they’re not so different. give me the one bed. give me the i hate you but i’d burn down a kingdom for you and hate myself for it.

let the prince kneel at her feet, kiss her knuckles like he’d never crush them, and then go home and report to his war council like nothing happened. let her wear the hairpin he gave her while plotting his assassination. let them both suffer about it. let them choose each other anyway. or don’t. let them fail. let them fall apart in the final act and still reach for each other across the ashes.

i literally do not care how many times we’ve seen it. i want it again. i want it done well. i want it done with spite and softness and aching inevitability. i want to feel like the betrayal was worth it. i want to scream into my hands and text my writer friends like “why would you do this to me” while secretly living for it.

write your trope. write it the way it’s been done before or write it sideways and backwards and messy. just write it with emotion. and a little hairpin. and blood under their fingernails.

okay bye

Rin T.

[latenightdaydreams]

ei, então.. pensei em algo como Trucker König! leitor x que está viajando há dias, talvez tentando fugir ou apenas conseguir algum lugar para recomeçar sua vida, ela está tão desesperada e desorientada que não percebe os avanços do caminhoneiro rude e carente por uma empresa que ele possa foder sem se preocupar, talvez ele seja um pouco carinhoso com ela, só para não assustá-la no início. é isso :3

Okay, so google translate wasn't helpful and I only know Spanish so i hope this is CLOSE to what you wanted? I kept it fluffy because of the heavy topics. Again, I'm sorry if I didn't translate it right!🩷

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Fluff so all welcome!

>cw: fem/afab, fluff, talk of traumas but no details

1.4k word count

For more click here!

Trucker!König x Runaway!Reader

König had recently retired from the military and taken a job as a trucker. It gave him a chance to see a slower pace and side of the country he always found relaxing during his military travels. Struggling with PTSD he had one final break down that lead to his early retirement. This being his first out of country assignment, to travel from Austria into Germany, he was excited to just relax on the road and be able to clear his mind. That’s how he thought it would go at least.

He saw you. Scared and clearly disoriented. König slows to a stop and pulls off the side of the road before getting out. He is aware of his size and the fact his face is covered in scars, so he tries to approach you like he would a stray dog. Hunching his shoulders he calls out, “hallo Fräulein, geht es dir gut?”

You turn with a face full of fear and tears streaming down your checks. You see a giant man speaking to you in German, a language you don’t know, and begin to cry harder.

This breaks Königs heart, he didn’t mean to cause you even more distress. He stops walking and watches you as he stands still sobbing.

“Are you okay?” He asked in English this time.

You look up registering it and you shake your head no.

He gets a better look at you and can see that your clothes are dirty and that you look like you’ve been traveling on foot for a while now. He looks around to see if you’re alone, you are.

“Miss, are you hurt? Can I help you?” His voice soft as he takes two small steps to you.

You don’t move back but just look at him. Your breathing is shaky as you nod your head again, finally you speak with a foreign accent, “I- I need help.” You begin to cry again and drop to the floor feeling your exhaustion fully take over.

König walks to you and crouches down, “Is it okay if I touch you miss? Only to carry you to the cab of the semi.”

Seeing you this way gives him flashbacks to all the disoriented women and children that would get caught in a bombing or were kept as prisoners. You have the same broke look in your eyes and he feels the overwhelming want to save you.

“It’s okay…” Your voice so meek as you just lay there.

König reaches out and scopes you up gently, as if you were made out of paper and walks you back to the cab. He buckles you in and makes sure that you’re comfortable before walking around to the drivers’ side and getting in.

He goes to the back of the cab to the cooler he keeps there and grabs a water and a sandwich he had made for himself.

“Here, please drink and eat. There is more if you need it.” He hands them to you as you look up at him.

Slowly you extend you hands to grab the food items from him. You look at them for a while them over to him as he sits down in the driver seat.

“Why are you being so nice?” You question him, not trusting it’s out of the kindness of his heart.

“Because you need help and its just the right thing to do.” His gaze is genuine as he smiles at you.

You take time to notice the scars on his face and arms, implying that maybe he has also had a hard life. You open the water and begin to chug it, it had been almost a full day in the sun without a drink. König watches you without saying a word as you chug the water bottle, he gets up and grabs you a second one quickly. You begin to open the sandwich as he changes out your empty bottle for the new in the lap. Slowly taking your first bit you watch him again.

His pale blue eyes met yours again, “Is it okay if I ask you why you were out here alone like this?”

You chew the bite of food that you had in your mouth as you decide if you want to open up to the stranger you just met.

“I only ask because I can tell you’re not from here, and you’re in pretty bad shape. I just… want to make sure nothing happened or…” He leaves the question open ended not wanting to push too much and make you uncomfortable.

You stay quiet and continue to eat, he takes the hint and nods. He isn’t mad, he just hopes he didn’t push too much. Starting the truck again, he pulls back off on to the road and begins to drive.

“So, where is your destination?” König looks over hoping the change in topic will help you begin to talk.

“I don’t have one,” you say with a mouth full of food.

“You don’t?” König is shocked to hear this, then where were you going?

“No, I don’t.” You repeat taking a drink of water.

“Well, my job is taking me to Germany.” König looks over at you. You simply nod your head again. “You can stay with me as long as you need. It’s just me anyway. My name is König, by the way.”

“I’m y/n.”

“It’s nice to meet you, y/n.” König gives you a smile with teeth this time that show off his sharp K9s.

You finish eating your sandwich and then go take a nap in the back of the cab. There was a small bed with a blue blanket that you cover yourself with. Sleep came to you easily. It had been months since you were able to get a good night of rest and feel safe enough to do so.

Once you wake up you notice that the sun had completely set and it was dark out. You slowly walk back to the passenger seat and sit down. König looks over at you with kind eyes.

“Did you sleep well?”

You nod and stay quiet for a moment longer. “Thank you… for helping me, König.”

“Of course, it’s no problem.”

“Can I ask how you got all of your scars?”

König doesn’t like the talk about the past, especially not now. For you though, he is willing to tell you anything. The fact you’re opening up enough to ask his questions makes him smile and feel warm inside.

“I was in the military. I went in at 17 and I just retired last year.” He looks over at you to see your reaction to this information. You had a neutral look on your face but a softer look.

“Now you do this?”

“Ja, it is relaxing. Therapy in a way. I can just drive and forget.”

You look forward out the window as the clear night sky. Stars covering it as there were not many lights here.

“It is beautiful…” You say in a soft voice that makes Königs heart flutter. “So, you’re running away from something too.”

So, she’s a run away?

“I guess so,” König chuckles. “It’s natural to want to run from painful parts of our life.”

You stay quiet and look out at the night sky for a while and König sits with you in the silence.

“I met someone online that said they would help me escape from my abusive home life,” your voice cracks slightly. “I moved all the way here and…they…they…” you begin to cry.

König begins to stop the truck and again to pull off the side of the road. He unbuckles himself and embraces you in his arms. His massive muscular frame embracing you tightly as if he could take all the pain away. He kisses the top of your head as you continue to cry in his arms.

“I’m sorry, y/n. I’m sorry the people that you were suppose to be able to trust betrayed you. You’re safe now. You can be at home with me.” He rubs your back.

His words cause your walls to come crashing down as you hug him back, clinging to him and melting into his arms. This was the first time in a very long time you felt safe and that someone’s words were genuine. With no where to call your own, you decide to stay with König and see how to trip to and from Germany goes.

Both of you broken people who so happen to cross each other’s paths when you needed someone the most.

[maybankslover]

family line- rafe cameron II

rafe cameron x kook!reader

warnings: pure angst,soft!bf rafe, shitty family, mental issues, mention of borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder, talks about medication and psychiatrists, violence (physical and mental), rafe isn't a psycho, cameron's are a good family. not obx real plot. [I really hope no one feels offended by the way bd and bpd are described, it's just the way it's been for me]

summary: if he only had known earlier

playlist: youtube playlist

part I

a/n: it's not a work that makes much sense, is more about events of my life that i write to get a comfort I don't get in real life. so it's not a fiction as such.

y/n had fallen asleep after taking her medications, two to be precisely so rafe took the time to go into his father office.

"hey dad."

"rafe, how's she doing?" ward left his papers on the side.

"sleeping right now, I was able to calm her down." rafe sighed and sat on the sofa.

"I know it's none of my business but how can we help her?"

"I don't really know, she won't be able to leave her house until college is over and that's three years away."

"she could move her for a while if she wants, we can support her in anyway she needs. at least for a while if you two then want to move out." ward offered.

"really dad?" he nodded. "thank you, I'll talk to her about it. I don't know if she'll say yes but thank you."

a few day later rafe was waiting for her to bring some of her past trauma up again. they had been sitting in the beach watching the sunset when it happened.

"you know I love the beach but jake doesn't so mom and dad never bring us to the beach. neither of them thought of maybe bringing me alone a day at least, my grandma took me almost everyday to watch the sunset on summer." she told him as if she had been talking about a pretty bird passing by, as if it was nothing that her parents were never interested on what she liked.

"baby." his arms hugged her tighter.

"it's okay, I'm here with you now so it's better."

the cameron's were planning a movie night at the local cinema, so when rafe bring it up to her that rose invited her she was surprised.

"she wants me to come?"

"yeah of course, why wouldn't she?" rafe imagined what was going on at her head.

"I don't know, when my brother turned old enough to go to the cinema with dad he stopped bringing me with him. not used to people wanting me around I guess." he was filled with rage for his girl, he wasn't used to families being so neglectful towards their children.

but it wasn't until her birthday came that rafe realised how much time she had been faking that everything was alright.

for the first time in a while her parents hadn't made her cry during it, her dad even bought her flowers, her best friends had made something nice for her, rafe had also bought her flowers and a necklace he knew she wanted and his family had sent her some really cute messages. later in the weekend her whole family would reunite at her house to celebrate.

"did you like your day baby?" rafe kissed her forehead when she laid her head in his chest looking up at him before going to sleep.

"yeah, it was nice." she shrugged her shoulder and gave him a fake little smile.

"what's wrong?" he catched on immediately.

"I don't want to talk about it rafey." her eyes becoming glossy.

"but baby." he tried to sit in bed but she didn't let him. holding him back down from her arms around his chest.

"please rafey." her voice broke. "just hold me please, I don't want to do anything more than this." he felt his chest wet, she was crying.

"baby..." he brought her closer to him, making her lay on top of him with her face almost in his neck. a sob came out of her and her body trembled. he kissed her forehead repeatedly.

"I'm sorry rafey." hiccup. "you've be-en so go-od to m-e to-da-y."

"nononono don't say sorry baby, don't say sorry." He soothes her back, trying to make her come down but giving her, her space.

a few minutes later she was calm again, her hands never stopped gripping rafe it was as if she was afraid he would go away.

"baby?" rafe whispered.

"mhmm?"

"I love you." the smile he felt against his neck gave him so peace.

"I love you more."

she had fallen asleep, rafe hugging her from behind not letting go of her even once but he was laying there eyes wide awake thinking about what had gone wrong. why she had ended her day crying like that, he knew she didn't like her birthdays but never thought it was to this extent. rafe wanted to make her happy in everyway he could, he just didn't know how.

and when sunday came to celebrate it with her whole family, few of the uncles and aunts she considered really close and important people canceled, it incremented the ache she had been feeling since they woke up in her bedroom, rafe noticed but didn't say anything not wanting to make her feel self conscious. but luna, her best friend, came to talk to him while she was distracted putting more food in the tables to ask him. "have you noticed how down she is?"

"yeah, she's been like that since friday. after we went to dinner and back to my house, I thought she was happy and that she had had a good time even if she hates her birthday but she started crying and fell asleep like that." he observed his girlfriend.

"something's been happening in her head and she don't want to talk about it." she sighed. "please let me know if something else happens, I'm truly worried."

"yes yes of course luna, you'll be the first to know." he gave her a smile and walked towards y/n. "sweetheart." rafe kissed her temple.

"hey baby." she tiredly smiled at him. "are you having a good time?"

"yes, your grandma's have been kissing and pinching my cheeks all day love." it made her laugh.

"they love you." she smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "and I'm glad they do cause I plan to marry you cameron so it's good that my fav persons love you too." it surprised rafe in a good way.

"oh so you plan to marry me? it's a good thing cause i plan on marrying you too." he kissed her face many times making her laugh out loud. it made her grandparents heart warm at the interaction they were watching from afar

"good thing she has this boy and his loving family Inés." her grandfather said to his wife.

"he's been a good influence in her bad moments. the past few weeks have been strange, I'm starting to think she's been in a big episode and hasn't told anyone about it." Inés said and richard, her husband, agreeing. "we'll talk to rafe when she's distracted again."

and hour later rafe sat in the sofa next to the elder couple. "are you having a good time mr richard and mrs Inés?"

"yes son, a very good time thankfully." her grandfather answered.

"rafe, we wanted to tell you something so you can be aware." ines said to rafe who paid attention and nodded. "we think she's been on a episode for the last few weeks. she's acting as before she was put on her meds, kinda maniac at times and pretty sad even if she trys to hid it from us." it was the only thing she could say before y/n sat next to them.

summer was coming to an end and it meant not expending every day with rafe as college was soon to begin again.

"baby, will you come see me at school?" she asked while sitting in his bed.

"every time i can, I'll be at your apartment sweetheart. need to make sure you're eating well and taking your meds on time." he kissed her forehead.

she sighed. "you don't need to worry, I'm 21 not a kid. i know what i need to do, you know." she said it in a tone rafe wasn't used to hear from her.

"no need to get all defensive, i was just joking."

"I'm not being defensive, I'm just saying that everyone is always observing if I'm taking my meds or not and it's exhausting I'm not a kid, I'm your girlfriend." she was getting more and more upset.

"hey, it wasn't meant to be like that. I promise, i love you and I'm just making sure you're okay." he took her face in his hands and felt her relax under his touch.

"I know, I'm sorry." her grandparents were right, she's been in a big episode from weeks now.

two weeks later she seemed worse, more sad, more angry, more exasperated, more exhausted. she had been spending more time at her house rather than at rafe's, her sleep had been all messed up.

"I don't want to wake up until further notice." she said laying her hold body on top of his on the sofa of tanyhill.

"we should take a vacation to the lake house." he kisses her head. "may be good to get some air before going back to school."

"yeah I'd love too." he felt her smile on his chest.

their three hour drive to virginia was one of the best days she had had in a while, just having him there, music they both loved, snacks, the views and the dream of nothing else existing apart from their peace. she loved him more than she could ever be able to explain, her whole heart beated an unmessurable amount of love only devoted to him. y/n could swear she would die if he ever left her, her biggest fear since they got together, since they knew eachother was that he would grow tired of her and leave her or replace her, she was too used to that now.

"I love this place." she said once they both got out of the car.

"it was my mom's side of the family, my grandparents knew how much sarah, wheez and I love it and they and my mom siblings put it to our name." he hugged her from behind. "she would've loved you." a kiss to her cheek made her smile. "c'mon let's get everything inside to spend our month just the two of us."

the dynamic was so easy, as if they had been doing this for their entire lives, from making breakfast to going to town and do groceries to anything you saw them do it was natural.

"I love you." y/n kissed him, laying on the bed only a dim light on while the rain outside made them company.

"I love you more." he grabbed her tigh pulling it more on top of him.

"you got no idea what you mean to me baby." she whispered and he smiled.

"you got no idea what you mean to me." the reassurance warming her insides. "I need you to be okay." he whispered. "I got no idea what I would do without you."

and it was her final straw. the tears appeared.

"what-what happened?" he kissed her forehead.

"I don't know." she sobbed. "I don't know, I'm so sad all the time and I don't have an answer for it."

"we can search for it together. alright?"

"mhmm." it felt as if the rock she had been carrying was lift off her shoulders.

"you're fundamental in my life baby like I swear to god." she giggled while still crying. "I know you don't believe me sometimes but I swear it's true."

a moment of peace settled inside of her, rafe was there for her and she now knew it was real. he wasn't leaving, he didn't find her annoying, he didn't find her an obstacle in his life. he loved her, he made her feel loved, he made her feel worthy.

he loved her and it was all that she needed for now, for him to be there until the hard times passed and forever more.

masterlist

taglist form

lake house moodboard

taglist: @whosyourmommy69 @chenslucy @gillybear17 @imliterallyamirrorball @nichmeddar @gillybooboo @julczimozart @bellbottombaby @silkylovey @dropperyourhnd @jaydaaasworld @chenslucy @congratsloserr @carrerascameron @m1santhropicc @wearemadeofstardust0 @chiaraanatra @rlalliehayes @ijustwanttoreadlols @sunny1616 @theoraekenslover

[vanilla-sh0rtcake]

Arcane Headcannons!

Cus I was feeling a bit silly :3

Jinx Headcannons!

⪼ REALLY flexible, idk I can just see it tho, she could be a contortionist

⪼extremely sentimental, she went back to collect everything she could from the 'incident' 💔

⪼makes up her own universe with her own OCs and bases them off people she knows and kills them all during episodes when they piss her off

⪼LISTENS TO ASHNIKKO AND JACK OF JILL YOU CAN'T CHANGE My MIND

⪼ATROCIOUS handwriting, you have better chance reading hieroglyphics

⪼Can bake really well! But usually takes down half the kitchen and uses ingredients that originate from CSI crime scenes

⪼blew up the last drop bar (accidentally she claims) and was permanently banned by Sevika - Silco got this appealed quickly

⪼MILLIONS of things in her bed that shouldn't be there (screwdrivers, scrap metal, broken items she's emotionally attached to...) but she cuddles n speaks to like like their human

⪼never sleeps, takes spontaneous cat naps + drools when she sleeps + bed hog

⪼steals things she likes the look of (SHINEY OR COLOURFUL STUFF) before she bombing the area

→gives Silco manicures

⪼calls Ekko her malewife (there is something really fruity abt timebomb I can't figure it out tho...

Vi headcannons!

→gets Jinx to fix her fatass gauntshits

→makes Caitlyn breakfast everymorning... Odds of it being edible and low and odds of kitchen being a mess afterwards are high

→scraped together the last of her pit fighter money to buy a Hexstrap but Cait REFUSES to use it

→shamelessly sleeps NO shirt, titties OUT and sweaty abused sport shorts

→sleeps on her arm despite there being a pillow RIGHT THERE, wakes up with no sensation

→doesn't make her bed

→like arcade games a lot (?) Makes friends with the little kids and gets competitive trying to win at those stupid duo games

→disgusting mouth smacking noises as she chews, everyone around her is put off their food

→weird food combos; tuna+custard, peanut butter+pickles, watermelon+mayo shares her snacks with pregnant women

→"I don't listen to music" until twenty one pilots comes on and she SOBS her HEART and LUNGS out

→had a papa roach phase...

→likes sonic n crash Bandicoot, I don't make the rules

→absolutely foolish when Jayce is around... May start some tomfoolery...

→cuts her hair by herself with the largest pair of kitchen Scissors available

Caitlyn Headcannons!

⪼she took years of Etiquette class and was FLOGGED if she didn't chose the appropriate spoon size - the trauma is etched into her memory now she only picks up the 2nd smallest spoon to her left

⪼stingy with butter on toast (?)

⪼posture so good she maintains while asleep and does. Not. Move.

⪼constantly smells something burning from the kitchen in the morning...

⪼only one capable of whipping up a nontoxic decent meal without destroying the kitchen

⪼firm believer in gun control (gun control being only she controls the gun)

⪼Fiona Apple listener, listens to ONE song and calls it a day

⪼i can see her dragging Vi to watch opera, she comes out weeping n snot dripping while Vi is extremely confused and is trying to find the lyrics

⪼ partial going deaf from all the gunfire exploding in her ear drums 💔 u gotta scream in her ear to grab her attention (still not guaranteed to get her attention)

⪼once she holds a grudge against you there's nothing you can do to get her forgiveness, good luck

⪼ recieving ominous death threats from a user '@N0tJ1nx3d' on Instagram

⪼said 'Argh, matey' into the mirror once, immediately experienced an inward feeling of acute awkwardness and embarrassment, then Vi started giggling because she heard this and now bullies Cait with it

⪼enjoys reading poetry in her free time

⪼ enjoys visiting the firelight Hideout (ekko's tree of whateva...) because she likes nature

Ekko Headcanons

⪼ eavesdrops on everyone and know EVERYTHING

⪼ universally known to enjoy tyler, the creator and owns at LEAST 3 pieces of merch

⪼head bopper + hums to the music

⪼ psychically, with his WHOLE body DRY HEAVES and gutturally GAGS around smokes because its gross you'd think he were asthmatic

⪼spirit animal is miles Morales

⪼can play the flute, idk where I got this from but it's lodged in my head that he CAN play the flute...

⪼makes 'ur mum' and 'deez nuts' jokes

⪼SOMEHOW sags with a belt on?? It's cannon btw

⪼forced into the tiresome labour of giving Jinx and Isha piggybacks (JINX & ISHA ARR ALIVE!)

⪼got bullied for his LoL hair style and found an actual barber

⪼still a little mentally anachronistic from the alternative reality/ gets mixed up

⪼took up gardening as a hobby + enjoys stargazing

[awardenandacrow]

SNIPPET 74

[returning to Minrathos after The Choice triggers a trauma-response flashback for Naimeryn… and causes trouble for the team.]

NOTE: (THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR DRAGON AGE THE VEILGUARD IN THIS NOTE) I literally just wrote this today and hurt my feelings.

So listen y’all I posted the snippet of Neve yelling at Naimy for sneaking back to Dock Town by herself at night to cut down Shadow Dragons and getting hurt. I was heavily inspired by @ / masseffectmoments (on Threads) AO3 fic for this idea, but upon revisiting it it feels less inspired by and more like a straight up rip off, and that’s just wrong. I think I got caught up in the whirlwind excitement of the idea and didn’t realize I was essentially stealing the idea, but now that I do, I gotta remedy that shit. I also realized that while her Rook, Bronwyn, it makes sense for, Naimy… just wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t go to Minrathos at night, and DEFINITELY not by herself, it just doesn’t fit in addition to just not being my idea.

However, I thought about how the first time you go back to Minrathos after choosing Treviso, you get ambushed by some Venatori, but then literally basically no other time do you fight the Venatori just?? Out in the open? In the streets? Like they just let you walk around? SO, I thought. What if Naimy just… loses her shit that first time back, causes a shitton of chaos, basically puts the Venatori on high alert, and therefore makes it difficult for the team to easily conduct business in Minrathos. Naimy has to keep her hood up, as do Bellara and Harding if they accompany her. THIS is what I’ll edit the other snippet to have Neve berate her for… because even hooded, Naimy probably continues to cause trouble for the Venatori on every visit. She can’t help herself, okay?

But y’all should totally read A Dragon Among Crows, because it’s fantastic. And now I’m not straight up stealing a big element from it so I feel better about that too.

On that note…

CW/TW: blood, description of death by hanging.

——————————————————————————

The sunlight was harsh, blinding. Naimeryn raised her arm to block it, give her eye a chance to adjust, and she heard both Bellara’s horrified gasp and Harding’s quiet swear — Harding barely ever swore. She lowered her arm, squinting at the square in front of them.

And just like that, Naimy was eight years old.

She’d managed to sneak out the back door while Mother was healing someone. Three super drunk men had wandered in, complaining the bride had swindled them out of their hard-earned coin, one of them with a sizeable bump on his head. Mother’s hands were full.

She’d run around the *vhenadahl* — the giant tree at the center of the alienage, supposedly kept as a reminder of their ancient elven ancestors, even though no one could remember them — three times, dodging wedding guests who all seemed… incredibly stressed out. Granted, Denerim’s alienage was rarely filled with *smiling* faces, but even the priest the Chantry had sent to officiate the ceremony bore worried expressions. Naimy’s footfalls slowed as she made her third loop, noticing a commotion near the gate. Keeping to the edges of the path, beneath overhanging roofs in the shade, she crept forward slowly, unable to suppress her curiosity.

Valendrian was attempting to placate the garrison. The brides, one of the grooms, and a handful of other elves were crowded around him. The bride’s father held a sobbing red head against his side, and the bride from Highever’s alienage cowered beside them, next to the red-headed groom. He and the other bride were related, somehow, she thought, and they were both covered in blood. The bride from here stood defiantly in front of the others, blocking the garrison, looking a vision of wrath in her tattered, blood-stained gown, declaring she was the one they wanted, and no one else had been involved.

Naimeryn took to the rooftops to follow the procession the garrison led to the gallows. Her heart hammered in her tiny chest.

“Chlora Tabris,” the captain of the garrison addressed the bloodied bride as a crowd mixed with jeering humans and pleading elves formed in front of the gallows. “Do you deny the charges of the murders of the Arl’s son, Vaughan, his comrades, and several of the Arl’s guards?”

“No, I do not.”

The jeering from the humans was so loud, it rattled Naimy’s ribcage. Her breath came in ragged gasps as she stared down at the elf below, head held high as the executioner placed a noose around her neck. At this distance, her expression was hard to read, but if there was fear there, it did not show in her stance or cause a tremble in her voice. She was proud, defiant, unyielding.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” The captain demanded.

“Only that my actions were just. The alienage has served as Denerim’s punching bag for too long! I gutted Vaughan and his friends like tge dogs they were for what they did to Shianni. I would do it again, and again, into eternity. No longer will we submit quietly to tyranny! No longer —“

The captain gave the signal, and the platform dropped out from beneath her. Little Naimy was sick.

The same deafening silence that had engulfed the gallows when Naimy finally climbed down off that roof hours later, her mother frantic from her absence after such a “disturbance” ad rocked their community, clung to the streets of Minrathos now. Makeshift gallows had been thrown up every few yards. Venatori guards milled around in front of them, staring intimidatingly at all who skimpered past. From these gallows hung bodies, three and four to a platform, all bearing the Shadow Dragons mark. Some wore it clearly, their armor adorned with its emblem. Others, it had been painted on their torsos where they hung.

Panic and rage in equal measure boiled through Naimeryn’s veins like molten metal.

“We *will not* leave them like that,” she growled, reaching for her staff.

“Rook, I don’t know if that’s a good ide—“ Harding began.

But there was no stopping her.

[jade-len]

bad svsss fanfic/au idea: random marriage/guidance counselor transmigrates into PIDW, sees the absolute mess of lord luo bingge and his harem, goes "jesus fucking christ", and makes bank.

and like. they're probably not even that good of a counselor. it's just that people lack any sense when it comes to bingge, and since he's the emperor, that means pretty much everyone. also because therapy doesn't exist. i'll give them some credit though, whatever they hell they're doing works.

now, while sqq and sqh are having a grand ol' time in SVSSS with their husbands, this random, average counselor has to deal with being in the care of lord luo bingge. no wife beam. no anything. all they have is some basic empathy and common sense people just tend to lack in here for some reason.

it's even worse considering the fact that they've arrived after luo bingge completed his plan and became the hailed demon emperor. now, while they've never full on read the entire thing, they've heard enough from a close friend who has kept up with it to know the main character is the literal embodiment of the cycle of abuse and heavy unresolved issues. like, it got to the point where they started to unironically use luo bingge as an example of how to not deal with conflicts and trauma.

really, how could people like bingge? seriously, it's just another edge lord main character with way too many glamorized issues and abuse. red flag! (hey, who the hell is peerless cucumber and why does he keep defending binghe? lord, have mercy on these impressionable young men...)

so, after being kidnapped taken in by bingge and his wives after the bunch claimed that they were a "wise man" or whatever (all they did was offer some basic relationship advice to some poor woman, who turned out to be ning yingying, who told the other wives, and it just spiraled from there), they were deemed "special" and given their personal office and a room! hey, better than being on the streets in this god forsaken hentai-ish world, i guess.

quickly, a routine was established. one that, especially, consisted of luo bingge outright ignoring them. which, they weren't complaining about!

wake up, eat, meet with multiple of the wives, spend their hard earned money on delicious delicacies, meet with more wives, sleep, repeat. the most interaction they had with the demon emperor was him ordering them around, but even then, that was uncommon. it was, surprisingly, easy to fall into the rhythm of this undoubtedly odd life. you're upset that lord luo hasn't spent much time with you? maybe you can ask! the other wives are being annoying? remove yourself from the situation. you're upset that lord luo has so many other wives? oohhh... yeah. uhm.

luo binghe only tolerated them, they knew that. and they're sure that, if not for multiple of his wives insisting on keeping them, they'd be dead for even daring to be so "intimate" with them. a little bit of a shock, if they do say so themself. like, insecure much (something that they'll probably never get used to is the fact that bingge built an entire little village for his wives, though)?

but that's not the most shocking thing, oh, no.

it's this.

"i- i tried.. i tried to take the.. hiic-- other.. other shizun w-with me.." lord luo binghe, the powerful, almighty demon emperor, trembles and sobs. "b-but he! he wanted to-- s-stay with that.. stupid, inferior version of my- hic- self.."

despite the mountain of gold they're getting paid in, is it really enough to deal with this? probably not. will they get killed for witnessing luo binghe's vulnerability? perhaps. is he a dictator, the embodiment of the cycle of abuse, and a crazily vengeful bastard? definitely.

"it's-- s' not.." his voice breaks. something else inside of them probably does, too. "..n-not, hiic- fair."

should they feel bad? they shouldn't. he's hurt much too many people. isn't it a little late? can he even be redeemed? because, they are absolutely not here to try and "fix" him.

and yet.

"can you breathe, lord luo? deep breaths, don't focus on anything else but me, okay? i'll do it with you too. can you do that for me? there, there. you're doing a very good job, do you know that? here, when i'm upset, sometimes i like to do something called, '5-4-3-2-1'. i promise it'll help, binghe. would you like for me to do this one with you too?"

they can't help but think about a small, lonely boy on qing jing peak.

. . .

after that, bingbing slowly starts to come around and develop an actual bond! cool!! he just,,, can't believe only his wives were granted the "wisdom". how foolish was he?

"i know i'm only a mere human, but i can tell that lord luo is... masking things. you can put that away for now, okay? i promise, everything you say here will be confidential information, and it'll never leak... no no there's no enemy spies here-"

"i'm not even going to question this. you go back there right now and deal with it yourself if you cannot respect me or the other clients. aka, your wives."

"no, it's not stupid. this is how people help themself, and it's okay if you want to do it. as long as it doesn't hurt you or anybody. it helps, and that's all that matters."

"oh? one of your wife confronted to you about it? i'm glad to hear that, she's doing well, i see. i'm also happy that you're listening too, really."

"yes, and when something like that happens, you--- no- don't pull out xin mo now. what did we say about that? good job."

"here, can i touch your hands, binghe? there we go. when you're unsteady, you feel the need to pick at your skin, correct? well, let's try a few different things to keep those hands busy! it must be quite stressful being an emperor. how about we start with crocheting! it's quite popular back at my hometown."

"your mother sounds like a wonderful woman, lord luo. hey, how about you take a small break and visit her, okay? you want me to come with you? of course, it'd be an honor."

and thus, the story of the poor transmigrator counselor continues on with luo bingge added to their schedule!! this could be read as romantic or platonic lol. but i was thinking of this as luo bingge obtaining his first actual friend. it takes a long while due to bingge's... bingge-ness, but eventually it all works out lmao

[zengguos]

a few things I found interesting and wanted to expand on from courtney's collider ladies night interview about lottie.

● lottie is constantly trying to figure out who she is and if she's a good person. :(

● she thinks lottie (as her teenage self) does have a difficult time stepping up into leadership roles. courtney thinks she has faith in herself that what she's preaching is "100% and she's fallen into stuff", but she's not "comfortable with leading people yet." compared to how lottie is as an adult, she thinks that happens later but it will still "take a while." for that. courtney thinks she has "stepped into herself some more" though and has "stopped fighting the verison herself that she's found out in the wilderness and the verison of her that she's supposed to be at home" and "that gives her a lot of confidence" this season. I think that's interesting because there is a different air to lottie this season with how she's carried herself from episode 1-5, 6-8 and 9-10. she is more outwardly aggressive and forceful this season too compared to the others which does have shades of herself pre-crash.

● courtney sees lottie chasing the wilderness like it's an "addiction" for her // she feels that lottie thinks the best verison of herself is one that is connected to the wilderness and that can actually help the group through that.

● the axe murdering she thinks it makes sense for lottie to do that. it's just the whole intensity of it, with everything that is going on, the atmosphere, the trauma, the fear, the need to protect "her family" from this threat, everything just slips in her mind and she just goes for it. agreeing that no matter what she does even if it is murder, she's always doing it with good intentions wanting to improve her and her friends situation.

● the interviewer asking "how much do you think lottie cares about what other people think about her?" and courtney saying that it is a mix. lottie is "deeply ashamed of what she thinks of herself and she tends to think others secretly think that about her." sobbing right now, lottie's self deprecation and insecurities coming out again. but, pre-crash lottie was more "spicier" and "could give it back a little." I assume in the context if they saw her negatively and were mean to her here too. she had those walls to hide in, she was just a normal insecure teenage girl fighting back in an atmosphere she had to learn to protect herself in. "but I think she knows that everyone thinks she's crazy." — that self awareness again is what makes lottie's character so tragic. she knows this, but can't do anything to combat it. it really is an upsetting struggle many people with personality disorders go through (imo anyways with my own experience). she just has to accept it and move on for herself like always, like she's been used to in her life. :(

● courtney said during lottie's monologue about not wanting to leave, she was thinking about her parents and her life back then. how she was going to go back to how they viewed her as unwell. then thoughts of her going to be put in a hospital, put on medication to the point she's numbed out and not able to be her "full self". that she knows "no one is looking out for her" // "she won't have anyone looking out for her". which all actually ends up being true when she goes back. :(

● courtney said that lottie would have still stayed if tai and shauna didn't also choose to stay as well. "she would have stayed, then she would have freaked out a little... and then yeah."  // "she would have let them go, but then spiral downhill being like 'wait I should have gone.'" and the "reality" of the situation would settle in. but, it's still sad to see how badly she didn't want to go back. that she thought the wilderness was a better place for her, that back with her parents is more of a nightmare than this place. how in the moment she would rather die out here than continue to live on there. how it is selfless and selfish that she wants to stay. she wouldn't pressure anyone else to stay with her, or stop anyone else, yet to refuse rescue can be seen as selfish and everyone did see it that way when they all stayed despite her not making them. the fact that she'd be left alone is nothing new to her and she was okay with them going even if shauna and tai didn't stay + shauna making everyone else stay too. but, she's still a vulnerable person, a frozen in time teenager, in a hellish situation. of course she'd breakdown if they all left her out there fully alone and isolated with nothing and no one. again it's that split conflict within her. :(

● courtney thinks lottie's biggest regret is what happened to javi and that "haunts her a lot". even though "misty took her words out of context." yes! the first hunt! and the awareness of what everyone else did! it's such a huge thing for her to mentally take on especially after shauna's baby dying and shauna beating her to near death. that her self-blame (mixing with the pain and self deprecation she already feeling) is so intense it subconsciously feeds into the wilderness (which is her otherself, her defense mechanism) and its ideology. she tries to rationalise it, absolve the full responsibility of the situation from everyone, from herself, to protect herself and everyone by making it a part of the wilderness's wants. yet there's still that guilty consciousness that if she hadn't said that, would things have been different? so many layers! also that extended guilt she has towards travis and how she just wants to help him still feel connected to javi despite everything that has happened, even if she is using him to a certain extent to access the wilderness too. her line to travis, "I just wanted you to see that he's still here."

● courtney said lottie "had an inkling from the beginning when he [travis] pointed her in the direction of akilah that he is lying to her and playing with her." and when travis said he felt something out in the woods, lottie could tell he was "bullshitting". again, it really does show how aware she is and how intuitive she is. but, it goes back to the whole ignorance is bliss kind of thing, the whole there's no such thing as false hope and playing into these roles until a certain point. I find it interesting how courtney basically says she was entertaining travis to that point, but also the layers of guilt she has with the whole javi situation and how she genuinely cares and wanted to help him really complicates that whole dynamic even more. especially when courtney said they took many takes of that pit walking scene from different emotional angles. but ultimately in the scene lottie is aware that travis is trying to harm her, "she is trying to get to him" and "then there's this, like, you're pathetic, you tried to kill me" angle to it. I find that line between the cool antagonistic tension between them and sadness that it had to lead up to this point despite this push and pull between care, guilt and hatred within their dynamic very interesting.

● talking about lottie's dream sequence and the scream "there's a level of frustration with herself, the wilderness, where she is at" // "she's letting everything that she has pushed down just kinda rip". this deep guttural scream of anger at the antler queen wilderness image in her dream. she did that because she can't let her rage "out at anyone else" but "she needs to" so she's going to do it at the queen. which I find interesting because when you're asleep and dreaming, you are at your most vulnerable state and deep inside your own mind. it really questions her relationship with the wilderness again and this splitting between who lottie is. as her and as the wilderness.

● though she doesn't know, it is interesting that she still hasn't ruled out lottie being the one who burnt down the cabin too. especially after that episode 10 imagery.

● lottie is "playing both sides." when mari bumped into her. that she didn't want to upset the wilderness ("give it all up to make the wilderness mad"), but also she wanted mari, one of her teammates, to have "a fighting chance" to survive. I thought that was extremely interesting because again it shows the two sides of her fighting within her mind, how there is lottie and there is the prophet of the wilderness. the mindset of lottie who is connected to mari personally, who is her friend, her family out here, who wants to protect her too like everyone else (but shauna) going against the mindset of the prophet that sees the hunt as a necessity and needing to keep the wilderness on her side for the collective greater good. it's sad to see those moments were she is between both sides of her psyche.

● courtney on what lottie would feel like hearing about nat calling for rescue. that her reaction would "jump real quick" she would be "euphoric, but also freaking out". she knows this is good. she would know that "it is good for natalie", would be "excited" for nat, who was able to do that and now she could go home. but lottie would have to "sacrifice" herself and end up "not being well". it's that conflict again! she's so aware of the emotions and the troubles her friends go through and she wants the best for her friends, for the people she calls her family. but, she also desperately wants to cling onto this life that has given her a taste of everything she needed and is scared to go back. deep down she knows its the right thing, but her mind, her emotions, her rationality is so skewed and doesn't make sense so this jumping is understandable. the whole we can leave, we can't leave, I can leave, I can't leave, we can go home, no that's not home. it's a mess because she can't stay linear in her mind that's going through this intense psychosis that has split herself into fragments within her mind. with there being lottie and her wants and desires, the prophet and unknowingly the wilderness.

● courtney: "that's the thing about lottie, everything is like deeply sad." :(

[adhd-winterfalcon]

au where when tim finds dick and asks him to be robin again, dick is like “no but also are you okay?? where are your parents?” and proceeds to adopt/kidnap him

dick sends clark and diana to babysit bruce and tries to dissuade tim from being robin, but he’s a stubborn little shit so blüdhaven gains a new vigilante alongside nightwing (dick won’t let tim be bruce’s robin, not robin in general)

dick isn’t a cop because fuck you dc he would never idgaf what you think it’s wrong and goes against so much of his character!!! i hate cop!dick so much, he isn’t real to me

dick is a part-time college student majoring in human biology and minoring in psychology while training to be a paramedic. tim moves in with him (a small studio apartment) and they forge some records and IDs so tim can go to school in blüdhaven (not that the schools really care)

tim likes to read dick’s college textbooks & notes (if eligible) and spends most of his free time in the library or taking photos across the city. dick is 19 and tim is 14. jack and janet don’t even notice tim is gone

they both have enough to live comfortably but dick only uses his own money (from his parents) and tries to teach tim about like. class differences and how much normal stuff costs (i love timmy but he is a lil rich boy)

dick can cook and clean (which is CANON thank you very much), but his room is basically an organized mess (adhd-ass), while tim is used to needing his room to look perfect and deep cleans like once a week (trauma & he has a touch of the ‘tism)

when dick kills the joker, thinking tim is dead, tim gets to him in time but dick doesn’t let bruce resuscitate him and joker stays dead. this leads to post-pit jason going to blüdhaven instead of gotham.

part of him feels vindicated that his big brother the golden boy killed the clown, but part of him feels like he was replaced by tim. either way it drives him to blüdhaven. he observes nightwing and the new robin for a while, realizing that shit, this robin is just a kid. he can’t hate the new robin for something that’s not even the kid’s fault

he has a mess of complicated emotions about dick, though. again, he’s glad dick avenged him, but is mad he replaced him, and is a better brother to this robin than he was to jason. jason wanted that fun older brother. he got it for a little bit but it wasn’t nearly enough time, and then he fucking died

anyway, this of course leads to a confrontation between red hood & nightwing and robin. jason considers messing with them but decides to just get it over with (so he can yell at dick) and takes off the helmet. dick recognizes him immediately, and tim figures out who he is by dick’s reaction.

queue jason failing to be mad at dick when he starts sobbing and hugging him, and tim jumping in and making it a group hug. they bring him back to their apartment and give jason the guest room (they often have titans friends over), while jason is still like “…what just happened”

him and dick do talk later that night, and dick pretty much tells him everything. jason does the same “so they’re even”

jason goes back to gotham to protect crime alley, he has a couple safe houses set up around the city, but he visits blüdhaven whenever he can. similarly, when dick and tim are free they visit jason in gotham, at his main safe house that only they know about

going back a while, tim is kidnapped by joker while helping bruce with a case in gotham. he goes missing and bruce calls dick to see if he went back to blüdhaven, which he obviously didn’t, and dick speeds to gotham and finds joker, who tells him tim is dead and taunts him about jason. dick beats the joker to death, and doesn’t let bruce revive him, even if he has to live with what he did

after that bruce cuts contact with dick, but tries to stay in contact with tim. tim, however, is pissed at bruce for how he is treating dick and similarly cuts contact with bruce. both boys stay in contact with alfred, though, and sometimes he will update bruce on how they are doing

after jason settles into gotham, he joins dick and tim on one of their visits to alfred (while bruce is away/at work) and gets to reunite with him. alfred agrees to keep red hood’s identity a secret from bruce until jason is ready to tell him, but encourages him to do it soon because bruce misses him terribly

after blüdhaven is destroyed, dick is a wreck, so they move in with jason at his apartment near crime alley. nightwing is out of commission for a while (mentally AND physically) so robin patrols with red hood, who agrees to be as non-lethal as possible around him

dick is in a depressive episode for a while, so jason plays the role of Big Brother to tim (and dick if he’s being honest) until he feels a bit better. he’s actually the best at helping dick when he’s upset (aside from alfred ofc) and forces his ass into therapy with dinah

therapy and spending time with his brothers helps dick a lot, and he manages to force both of them to see therapists as well (not dinah cuz like. bias and legal stuff. but they find some good ones)

jason actually talks to harley sometimes (she’s calmed down a lot since the joker died and she started dating ivy), and she’s stable enough to give him solid advice occasionally. regardless, she’s a great listener and will always let him rant to her

okay flashback time again: when dick was living in titans tower in nyc, he attended college at hudson university. after about a year there, he moved to blüdhaven and transferred to blüdhaven university

tim moves in with him after dick’s been in blüdhaven for a few months. he finishes sophomore year at BU and starts paramedic training, deciding not to return to college. he’s 20 as of March and tim is almost 15

it’s around this time that jason (18) shows up- after dick’s finished sophomore year at BU but before he finishes paramedic training. after blüdhaven is destroyed, dick stops his paramedic training but eventually picks it back up again in gotham

ANYWAY so yeah the three of them share an apartment in park row

dick finishes paramedic training and starts working with gotham emergency services / thomas wayne memorial hospital (leslie’s clinic), and often helps anyone he comes across for free (he always has first aid supplies on hand & their apartment is hella stocked up)

dick and jason also often make meals for nearby homeless shelters (tim would help but he is a terrible cook, instead he manages to trick rich assholes into donating to and funding shelters, food pantries, schools, etc. in park row)

idek where i’m going with this anymore, just the three of them being brothers and visiting alfred. bruce focuses more on damian and cass, but occasionally they will all work together on a case (bruce has given up trying to get any of them- mostly jason- to move back to the manor)

damian and cass will drop by their apartment from time to time, as will alfred. jason, after watching over robin while nightwing was down, has stopped killing (for the most part) and focuses more on community support than beating up criminals

nightwing has become a sort of medic vigilante of sorts, he bounces across the city helping anyone who is injured (mostly abusive victims / those who can’t afford healthcare and are too far from leslie’s clinic to go there / homeless kids who can’t go there without having CPS called / etc)

he mainly patrols park row, but if he has time he will venture further out into the rest of gotham. tim is still robin atp, but he eventually changes his vigilante identity from robin

tim and steph still meet and become friends, but instead of working with batman as spoiler, she works with nightwing, red hood and robin. also, she is never robin, but she is batgirl for a bit

babs is oracle (okay timeline wise idk if she gets shot by joker before or after dick kills him soo i’m just gonna say before) and she helps out both the bats (bruce, dami, cass) and the birds (dick, jay, tim, steph)

steph ends up moving in with babs (who is very excited to have a little sister). this is when babs gives her batgirl, which she eventually (with permission) gives to cass.

sidenote: babs & dick are Best Friends like ride or die and that’s part of the reason dick killed joker- tho he doesn’t tell her that. they see each other all the time (the boys’ apartment building has an elevator) and stay in contact throughout all of this

robin and spoiler meet when the boys move back to gotham, and the two become fast friends. spoiler runs into red hood and robin one time and tim is like “hi S, this is my big brother!” and she’s like “your what.”

once dick is back as nightwing, he meets spoiler as well (who has told them her name is steph atp) and she’s like “i’ve heard all about you from your brothers :)” and dick is like “🥹 really?”

after that the boys tell steph their identities- “didn’t you die?!” “yeah, long story”- and she does the same- “wait is your dad that knockoff riddler guy?” “unfortunately, yeah”- and she crashes at their apartment sometimes after long nights of patrolling

it’s MY au so i say that cass found damian, understood what talia was trying to say when she saw her, and steals lil dami to arrive on bruce wayne’s doorstep. alfred opens the door and she basically shoves damian at him and then runs into the manor and launches herself at a very confused bruce with a hug. bruce is just like ‘okay i guess this is my daughter now’ and then alfred walks in with damian and he’s like ‘…i guess i have another son now too’

this all happens while tim and dick are in blüdhaven and jason is in gotham avoiding bruce like the plague. babs doesn’t tell them because she can be evil sometimes and wants to see their live reactions. imagine their surprise when the boys go to visit alfred and find two assassin children (cass is 19 but shush)

when bruce is lost in time, jace fox takes over as batman while tim, dick and cass go look for him. jason and steph stay and guard gotham and tim gives robin to damian so he can help them (and not go stir crazy without his dad). huntress and the sirens also help out in place of the three vigilantes looking for bruce

they find him faster since there’s three people looking, and everything pretty much goes back to normal after that, aside from jason being damian’s favorite older brother (instead of dick, bc he was never the batman to damian’s robin)

another sidenote: i am totally just ignoring jack and janet drake’s existence bc i don’t wanna deal with them yk? also crystal brown is alive and a decent mom, steph just moved out cuz she wanted more independence

rough age timeline rq

dick is 19 when he kidnaps adopts tim who is 14

jason (18) confronts dick (20) and tim (15)

cass (17) & dami (7) - jay (19), dick (21), tim (16)

blüd destroyed - dick (22), jason (20), tim (17)

tim (17) and steph (17) meet as vigilantes

cass (18) becomes orphan

dick (23) returns to nightwing - jason (21), tim (18)

tim becomes sparrow- robin is put in storage

the boys meet cass (19) & damian (9)

steph (18) moves in w babs (26)

steph becomes batgirl

future timeline

steph (19) gives batgirl to cass (20)

cass (21) becomes black bat

bruce gets lost in time

dick (25) jay (23) & tim (20) give damian (11) robin

[sqquidzz]

"As Long as I'm Here, No One Can Hurt You."

Sanemi x Child!Reader (PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP)

Summary: Sanemi had found you while he was on a mission chasing a demon, covered in the blood of your own family and crying in your house all alone. He decided to "adopt" you and give you a new home.

Tags: Fluff, slight gore in backstory, Sanemi is a good parent, trauma, PTSD, slight mentions of past abuse, soft Sanemi, protective Sanemi, Y/N reminds Sanemi of Genya, loss of parents, adopting, some sadness, swearing, insults (but Sanemi doesn't really mean it) etc.

A/N: Hello readers! I'm so sorry to those following me that I haven't posted as often as I probably should, I just got writers block and lost all my motivation and I forgot to post something for you guys. I hope this will make up for it. I have not written fluff yet, so I'm hoping you guys will have some improvements for me if there are any. And also, thank you to those who are following me, I really appreciate it! About the story now, PLEASE do NOT read this as a sexual relationship, this is only a PLATONIC relationship. But anyways, enjoy!

"Get back here, you brat!"

Sanemi was currently chasing you around the house. After a long year of going on missions, Sanemi finally had a break day. Of course, meaning that he could spend that day taking care of you. And coming back to the scene before us, Sanemi swerves around tables and chairs, trying to get you to get back into your room. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, you were also wearing no clothes.

"Nanana Boo Boo!" you giggle as he dives to catch you, but you jump out of the way, blowing a raspberry at his face, snickering as you run away once again and hide, leaving Sanemi wheezing on the floor from chasing you around.

"You better get back into your room you piece of shit, or else I'll kill you!" Sanemi barks as he rises from the floor, getting up and dusting his pants before searching for you.

"Oi, you better not be fooling around my room you little fuck!" Sanemi yells as he searches your room and comes out empty handed.

However, as he approaches his room, he hears quiet sobs through the closed door. Now Sanemi is getting a little concerned.

"Y/N...?" he calls out gently as he opens the door, the door creaking slightly. He ends up finding you on the opposite side of his bed, curled up into a ball, face in your knees as you cry silently, sobs racking your small frame.

"Hey buddy... what's wrong?" Sanemi asks quietly as he reaches out to you with his hand. But immediately after his hand makes contact with your back, you flinch away, head shooting out of your knees as you look wildly around you as if your afraid the world is hunting you.

"Whoa, I'm not gonna hurt you, see?" Sanemi whispers and holds his hands out.

You slightly calm down at the gesture, but your expression is still wary, still feeling like Sanemi was tricking you.

"You wanna tell me why your crying?" Sanemi asks gently as he attempts to hold your hand again. This time, you don't flinch back, sniffling quietly as you stop crying.

"I- I got scared," you whisper out, "I knew you wouldn't hurt me.... but I couldn't help thinking about what they did to me."

Now Sanemi was confused. Who were you talking about? Who did what to you?

"What do you mean, pumpkin?" Sanemi asks. He always used pet names with you, sometimes they would be insulting, but most of the times, he would call you buddy, pumpkin, things like that that made you feel like he really cared.

"M-my parents used to do things to me," you sniffle, "They always said that it was for the best and I believed them for a while. But what they did hurt so much." You burry your face into your knees again, shoulders shaking from newly sprung tears.

Now Sanemi understood.

He had found you as a baby after your parents had been slaughtered in your house. He decided to take you in himself since he didn't want you to end up being an orphan forever or getting adopted by a bad family (bless his kind heart 😭)

However, he had never thought to ask about your past. He just assumed that you had grown up with a normal family that loved and cared for you. Oh how he was wrong.

"Y-your parents...?" Sanemi whispers as you continue to sob out of fear and grief that your parents had in fact abused you and had neglected your well-being entirely.

By now Sanemi was shaking with fury, but not at you. He was shocked. How could someone hurt someone so kind and joyful? How could they rob you of your happiness?

Sanemi took a deep breath. Now is not the time to get violent.

Instead of asking any further about your past, Sanemi simply wraps his arms around you in firm but loving embrace and you bury your head into his shoulder, letting out all of the tears that you held in for so long.

"It's okay Y/N. You safe with me. As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you," he coos, rubbing your back to sooth you and calm you.

After a few minutes, you calm down, finally running out of tears to shed and you fall asleep in Sanemi's warm embrace.

He smiles down at you, and as he gazes at you, a memory pops into his head

---

"Nemi! Nemi!"

"W-what is it?" Sanemi asks, rubbing his eyes, clearing his vision to reveal Genya.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" Genya asks nervously, "I had a nightmare and I'm really scared."

Sanemi blinks for a moment, then smiles softly and throws his blanket to the side.

"C'mere," Sanemi sighs, and Genya immediately jumps into his embrace, burying his face into his chest. "Don't worry Genya, as long as I'm hear, no one can hurt you.' (sound familiar?)

---

A tear runs down Sanemi's cheek.

He hadn't realized until now how much you reminded him of Genya when he was younger. Cheerful, determined, kind. And especially the fact that you love to sleep. (pointer to those manga readers out there)

Sanemi picks you up in his arms, tucking you into bed and watches as you snuggle the blankets closer, savoring their warmth.

He slowly climbs into bed next to you as to not wake you up, and holding you close, he too, falls fast asleep.

[chokememaximoff]

Beyond the Chaos VIII

Trained to obey, broken by Hydra, Y/N's identity blurs between soldier and survivor. Pulled from the chaos by the one person she once saw as an enemy—Wanda—she must fight to reclaim herself before the past swallows her whole.

TW: Torture, Brainwashing, PTSD, Violence, Abuse, Trauma, PanicAttacks, NonCon, Drugging, SelfDoubt, Loss, Captivity, Manipulation

Y/N's body trembled uncontrollably, her muscles seizing with violent shakes as she lay on the bed. Her eyes were wide, darting around the room as if she were seeing things that weren't there. Wanda sat beside her, holding Y/N's hand tightly, her heart breaking at the sight of her friend suffering so much.

"Y/N, can you hear me?" Wanda's voice was soft, filled with desperation as she tried to reach through the haze that surrounded Y/N's mind. But Y/N only blinked, her gaze unfocused, unable to register Wanda's words.

"It's like a dream... everything's a dream..." Y/N mumbled, her voice barely audible. She squirmed, her body convulsing with another wave of shakes.

Wanda's panic grew, and she quickly called for the doctors. They rushed in, their faces grim as they examined Y/N. One of the doctors sighed heavily. "We don't know what to do. The drugs are killing her. They're breaking down her body because she's not taking them. She was completely healthy while they were in her system."

Wanda's eyes widened with horror. "You mean she needs the drugs to survive now?"

The doctor nodded reluctantly. "I'm afraid so. We need to give her the drugs again, at least to stabilize her. Otherwise, she won't make it."

Before Wanda could respond, Y/N's breathing mask was suddenly splattered with blood as she coughed violently. The sight made even Tony, who had just entered the room, wince with empathy. "Do it. Give her the drug," he said, his usual bravado replaced with genuine concern.

The doctors quickly prepared the drug and administered it to Y/N. Almost immediately, her shaking ceased, and her breathing evened out. Her body relaxed, and she fell into a deep, restful sleep.

Wanda watched, her heart aching with relief and sorrow. She gently brushed a strand of hair from Y/N's face, whispering, "I'm here, Y/N. We'll find a way through this. I promise."

But deep inside, the fear gnawed at her, the uncertainty of what lay ahead. She knew the battle was far from over.

...

Y/N woke up feeling a strange sense of clarity. The pain, the tremors, the disorientation were all gone. She felt almost like a new person. Tentatively, she reached up and removed the breathing mask, sitting up in bed.

Wanda, who had been watching her intently, immediately placed a hand on her shoulder. "Easy, easy," she said gently, trying to ease Y/N back down.

Y/N shook her head, feeling better than she had in days. "I'm feeling better somehow," she said, confusion in her voice.

Wanda's expression was a mix of relief and sadness. "Not somehow..."

Y/N raised her eyebrows, waiting for Wanda to continue.

"They had to give the drugs to you again," Wanda explained, her voice heavy with emotion. "You would have died without them."

The words hit Y/N like a punch to the gut. She lay back down, tears streaming down her face as the reality of her situation settled over her. "I think I can't be fixed," she whispered, her voice breaking.

Wanda leaned closer, wrapping her arms around Y/N in a comforting embrace. "You can, Y/N. You just need to try. We'll find a way. Together."

Y/N sobbed into Wanda's shoulder, feeling a mixture of hopelessness and comfort. The road ahead was uncertain and fraught with challenges, but in Wanda's arms, she found a flicker of hope. For the first time in a long time, she felt like maybe, just maybe, she wasn't alone in this fight.

...

Months had passed since Y/N’s withdrawal crisis, and she had slowly but surely started to rebuild her life under the protection of the Avengers. The days were long and hard, filled with therapy, training, and attempts to reclaim her identity from Hydra’s grasp. Despite the challenges, she felt more supported than ever before.

One afternoon, Y/N found herself sitting in the Avengers’ meeting room, a familiar tension hanging in the air. Tony Stark was at the head of the table, his expression serious. Wanda sat beside Y/N, offering a comforting presence.

“We’ve located a significant Hydra base,” Tony began, glancing around the table at each Avenger. “This is a crucial opportunity to deal a major blow to their operations.”

Y/N’s heart sank. She knew what was coming next.

“We need everyone on this mission,” Tony continued, his eyes landing on Y/N. “Especially you, Y/N. You know their operations better than anyone.”

Y/N shook her head immediately. “I can’t come,” she said, her voice steady but firm.

Tony’s eyebrows knit together. “We need you, Y/N. Your insight is invaluable.”

The room was silent for a moment before the arguments began. Each Avenger voiced their opinion, some supporting Y/N’s decision, others insisting on her participation. The cacophony of voices grew louder, tension rising.

“She’s right,” Wanda finally said, raising her voice to be heard over the others. “This is trauma for her. We can’t force her to relive that.”

“But we need her expertise!” Steve Rogers countered, his tone firm but not unkind. “She’s the only one who knows the layout of their bases and their strategies.”

“I understand that,” Wanda replied, her voice strained. “But there has to be another way.”

The argument continued to escalate, and Y/N felt the walls closing in around her. The memories of Hydra, the torture, the conditioning—it all came rushing back, threatening to overwhelm her.

Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. “Okay!” she yelled, her voice cracking with emotion. “I’m going. Just… stop.”

The room fell silent, every eye turning to Y/N. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. “I’ll go,” she repeated more quietly, looking directly at Tony. “But you have to promise me one thing.”

Tony nodded, his expression serious. “Anything.”

“If it gets too much… if I can’t handle it…” Y/N struggled to find the right words, her hands trembling slightly. “Promise me you’ll pull me out.”

Tony’s gaze softened, and he gave a small nod. “I promise, Y/N. We won’t let you face this alone.”

Wanda reached out, squeezing Y/N’s hand in silent support. The room was filled with a renewed sense of determination. The mission was dangerous, but they would face it together, as a team. And for the first time, Y/N felt a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, she could face her past and come out stronger on the other side.

...

The Avengers' operation to infiltrate the Hydra base was meticulously planned, with Y/N taking point due to her intimate knowledge of Hydra's operations. They moved swiftly through the dimly lit corridors, each member of the team poised for action. Y/N's leadership was evident as she directed their movements with precision, anticipating traps and enemy positions before they emerged.

As they penetrated deeper into the base, tension coiled tighter. The air was thick with the acrid scent of metal and the low hum of machinery, creating an atmosphere fraught with danger. Y/N's pulse quickened with each step, the memories of her time under Hydra's control threatening to surface despite her best efforts to remain focused.

The team encountered sporadic resistance from Hydra guards, whom they dispatched swiftly and silently. Wanda Maximoff, ever vigilant at Y/N's side, noticed the subtle changes in her demeanor—tiny twitches, a brief hesitation before rounding corners—all signs of the internal struggle Y/N battled against.

Suddenly, chaos erupted as Hydra operatives flooded the narrow corridor from all sides. The Avengers found themselves surrounded, outnumbered but undaunted. Y/N's combat training kicked in as she fought alongside her teammates, her movements fluid yet purposeful. She deflected blows, delivered precise strikes, and swiftly incapacitated adversaries with a mix of hand-to-hand combat and strategic use of her surroundings.

Amidst the fray, Y/N's eyes locked with the face of her former Hydra commander—a stern, imposing figure whose presence alone sent a shiver down her spine. His mere presence triggered a surge of conflicting emotions within Y/N—fear, anger, and a haunting sense of familiarity that she struggled to suppress.

Wanda, attuned to Y/N's distress, moved to intervene, but before she could reach her, Hydra operatives closed in on her position, forcing her into a defensive stance. She shouted urgently for Tony Stark's assistance, frustration and concern clear in her voice as she struggled to fend off multiple attackers.

Meanwhile, the commander seized the opportunity to corner Y/N against a reinforced wall, his voice dripping with disdain and triumph. "You're with the Avengers now, huh?" he taunted, his words laced with the venom of Hydra indoctrination. "But you can never escape it, soldier. Hail Hydra."

The impact of those words was like a sledgehammer to Y/N's psyche. Deep-seated conditioning stirred within her, triggering automatic responses that she had fought so hard to overcome. Her mind raced, fighting to maintain control as the commander pressed closer, his presence overwhelming.

Desperate to resist, Y/N struggled against the mental onslaught. She attempted to push him away, to assert her newfound allegiance to the Avengers, but the echoes of Hydra's commands echoed insistently in her mind. "Hail Hydra," she repeated, her voice strained with internal conflict.

Wanda's heart sank as she witnessed Y/N's struggle from afar, torn between aiding her teammate and defending herself against relentless Hydra assaults. She redirected her efforts, deflecting incoming fire and launching counterattacks with fierce determination.

Wanda, caught between defending Y/N and repelling Hydra assaults, called urgently for Stark's assistance. "Tony!" she shouted, frustration and concern clear in her voice as she fought off multiple attackers. "Help her!"

But Stark's attention remained fixed on the broader tactical situation, his directives aimed at neutralizing Hydra forces and securing the base. The weight of Wanda's accusation hung heavy in the air as the battle raged on, her anger and disappointment palpable.

After the skirmish subsided and Hydra forces were subdued, Wanda's frustration boiled over during the debriefing. She confronted Stark, her voice tinged with anger and disappointment. "You promised her," she accused, her gaze challenging his resolve. "You promised you'd have her back."

Stark met Wanda's gaze with a mix of regret and determination. "I know," he admitted, his voice tinged with remorse. "I was focused on the mission. I thought..."

Wanda's frustration was evident as she cut him off. "She needed us, Tony. She needed you." Her tone softened slightly, her concern for Y/N evident in every word. "We can't afford to lose her again."

Stark nodded solemnly, his expression grave. "We'll find her," he assured, his commitment unwavering despite his earlier lapse. "We'll bring her back."

In the aftermath of the battle, as the Avengers regrouped and assessed their next steps, Wanda's determination burned brighter than ever. She knew they had to locate Y/N quickly, before Hydra could exploit her vulnerability further. With Stark's reluctant agreement and the team's unwavering support, they set out on a mission to rescue Y/N from the clutches of her past, determined to bring her home safely and restore her sense of identity and belonging within the Avengers' ranks.

[dexdpup]

So I often spend a lot of time dabbling into the fine art of crying uncontrollably over Music. For years these have mostly been selective songs, collected from various discographies from artists all over the World.

But Damn it holy fucking shit Sleep Token is not good for my poor tear ducts.

It started about two years ago, when I randomly overheard my then best friend talking to a friend about this song they just discovered, and how it "made them feel unholy things".

This song, was Jaws.

I didn't give much thought to it initially, but decided to check it out anyways. I was doing a lot of rp at the time, and while writing a 4000 word essay on a character stabbing another violently I had put on Jaws as background noise. Aaaand than the Chorus happened:

Show me those pretty white jaws

Show me where the delicate stops

Show me what you've lost

And why you're always taking it slow

Show me what wounds you've got show me love

So I don't know about you, but this didn't make me horny, it broke me. I am of the conviction that Trauma makes you get a perspective on life, that either elevates experiencing emotion, or completely destroys it. When I heard Vessel sing these words I straight up froze in my seat and stopped writing.

I just listened. For... An hour? The same song in a loop. To me this was a song about a person attempting to rebuild another from the trauma they experienced - most likely sexual. A song of a human being falling for the deep rooted scars left in the fragile minds of a stranger.

The person who is traumatized is coping with it in their own ways, the "eyes of a predator" not referring to lust, but the natural desire to protect oneself.

When vessel talks of "prey unattended" he is referring to the victim left behind by their abuser. But this lyrical Persona Vessel represents here is in no way a saviour in the sense of trying to heal their muse, it feels more like someone trying to capitalize on the trauma to further their own cause.

Now I do not claim that my interpretation of the song is right or better than another. But it is how I heard it, that day. That's what my ears picked up and my brain read into it.

And this... Hit. Like a truck. I was sucked into Sundowning and TPWBYT (with TMBTE not released yet) and didn't stop listening for many hours. I cried my eyes out multiple times, Atlantic, Alkaline, Bloodsport, Higher, Levitate, the Love you want. All of this was something i hadn't yet experienced.

Fast forward around half a year and its TMBTE time! The album released and my emotions were shattered by Chokehold and Are you really ok. I sobbed a bit, but I wasn't hit as hard as back when I first listened. And than, Ascencionism happened.

It broke me.

I was crying like I never had before, releasing more emotion than I thought I had in me. Another song that I instantly, deeply connected to my trauma. A hatred for my abuser I still find whenever I hear vessel scream:

You're gonna watch me ascend

A desire to payback, but most importantly the desire to disappear into nothingness. I was numb for the Title track. It was only when Euclid ended that I realised I had found the band that I would connect my mental health to all over again. Just like 2012 when I first discovered MCR and Fallout Boy. I was stumped and honestly... Happy.

Fast forward another year, I am writing this about a week after their show in Nürnberg. My second time there and I can inly say one thing.

I worship Sleep.

[monstersinthecosmos]

Just rewatched Blue Velvet and am crazy about the scene where Jeffrey sobs while remembering how he hurt Dorothy (at her request). Do you think Shiro ever feels terrible about the kinky shit he and Keith get up to? Sorry I love to suffer

Omg I rewatched that when David Lynch died a while back I am so sad, what a MESS!! LOL rip king

but omg!

I think, kinda yes???

But also I think that they’re such an unbelievably healthy couple and they know how to do aftercare?

I don’t want to like tackily ref my own fics LMAO that feels obnoxious but this was kinda what I was thinking about writing Zero Hour. I WOULD DO A LOT OF THINGS DIFFERENTLY IF I WROTE IT NOW, I’m not sure how it landed or aged or whatever LOL but I was trying to get at the idea that Shiro is feeling kinda squeamish about being rough after he’s been traumatized by so much violence - not just his captivity but also that he ALMOST KILLED KEITH!!!!!!!!!!!! 

And in that fic like, they get through it by Keith being a demanding little brat about it and enthusiastically letting Shiro know what he wants and needs, giving him constant verbal permission, and also that they’re able to try it on in the Void where no one can get hurt!!!!! 

I think in my mind I have kind of an idea that post-canon they both keep themselves super busy to deal with The Horrors—canon tells us that Shiro kind throws himself fully into projects & roles so that he can function, and I imagine it’s just the same after the war. But like, it doesn’t mean the trauma is erased. I like to think that the PTSD bubbles up from time to time, and that it can be unpredictable, and sometimes they can have hard days. 

Nothing even has to happen—sometimes we just have hard bad days. Like I’m sure Shiro has days where he just feels like crying. And Keith probably has days where he reverts to being so prickly and unpleasant and doesn’t want to be touched. And yeah I just think, if we assume they’re a kinky couple (because why shouldn’t we LOL) maybe the dom drop REALLY hits bad some days.

And the hard thing about having hard days and feeling bad about yourself is that you wouldn’t be likely to seek comfort, right? So I imagine it looking like, maybe Shiro is kinda feeling off but thinks maybe some rowdy sex will make him feel better, but there’s such a post-nut-clarity crash, and he can see the red marks on Keith’s body and the scar on his face and he kinda tries to act normal like he’s gonna go shower or whatever and then just has a total meltdown in the bathroom!

Part of me wants to think that they know each other SO biblically like does Keith sense that something is off? Especially a Keith who maybe has moments where he’s so hyper diligent on Shiro’s safety! But maybe part of HIS recovery is not indulging every single danger ping because almost all of them are false alarms. Like how often do you throw the baby out with the bathwater by telling yourself that everything isn’t a crisis, and then you miss when it IS a crisis!!!!

And the issue also that like, it’s something that will compounds and compound and compound. Maybe Shiro is having a bad day -> gets triggered during/after sex -> the nature of his dom drop & self loathing means he feels guilty about being cared for and doesn’t want Keith’s help or comfort!!! He will draw into himself even worse!!! He will pretend he’s okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know what fic I think about so fucking much? everybody wants to be a cat by ailurea and its remix fic property of takashi shirogane (the meow for me remix) by sugarcubeshiro. LMAO I THINK A LOT ABOUT THIS PART, WHEN THEY REALIZE THEY’VE BOTH BEING DOING KITTY PLAY BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT THE OTHER ONE WANTED TO:

“I—I like it—I like you—“ Shiro is red. Very red. He hides his face again. “Ugh. It's really hot while we're doing it but it's also really embarrassing to think about after.”

IT’S REALLY EMBARRASSING TO THINK ABOUT AFTER LOL isn’t that the fucking truth about our most disgusting kinks?

So anyway also. Imagining Shiro splashing water on his face, taking a Xanax or whatever, getting into bed and faking it long enough to fall asleep, and then avoiding Keith all day at work and just feeling awful about himself.

UGH!!

They need to work on it!!!

I feel like, my taste is generally for like, more fucked up ships? And Sheith is so unbelievably wholesome, but they’re both so fucking traumatized. And I like the texture of that, I like knowing that they can figure it out and they’ll be okay and find a way through but there are also so many broken pieces making a mess for us to play with in the meantime. :)

[jordanswitches]

lil talk about recovery from hashtag sexual trauma bc i feel like it's good to normalise that recovery doesn't mean just being all good every time. could be triggering so keep yourself safe!

so the other night when i had tied up e, afterwards we were making out and talking about what she was gonna do for me and we ended up deciding we'd try out her topping me with the strap, which i'd never done before, i'd only had flesh cocks.

six years ago i had a bad thing happen in a grey area that made it difficult for me to accept and process, and when i did start processing it was ugly. i was with f at the time (we were together for five years and broke up in september 2024 and now are best friends). we had got together maybe nine months after it happened, and once we got together i felt safe enough for my subconsious to start processing. she was incredibly supportive of me and let me take all the time i needed before we started being sexual again. when we did, a big trigger for me was piv sex, for a few reasons. one of them was when there was any pain during, even for only a second while adjusting. if that or any of my triggers happened, i would suddenly and without warning start crying and be unable to stop. over the years, the crying lessened, but would still be occasional. it happened even less as in the last year of our relationship, i prioritised working on my ability to say i wanted to stop, which meant less panic crying. i'm so glad i worked on it before we broke up and set myself up a lot better for being single again.

back to the other night with e. we say we won't properly have sex, we'll just test out my harness on her and see how it feels for us. so she gets into it and warms me up a bit and puts it in, and there's pain. the angle was hard to get right because the strap we used was hard and had no give to it. we went for a little while, and i tried so hard to get into it because part of it did feel good and the act itself was so hot. i really wanted it to stop hurting so it could feel entirely good, so we kept adjusting and it just kept hurting. suddenly, the crying. i didn't have the voice to tell her and only had literally two seconds to make a timeout signal with my hands before i just started sobbing. e panicked and pulled out and was trying to figure out what was the matter. she hadn't seen me like this before, but i had told her when we first started taking i can sometimes cry during sex. it sounds silly, but i had no idea the strap would cause the same triggers in me as a flesh cock. i was so upset about it and felt so broken. i hadn't cried like this during sex in so long. e took care of me and cuddled me while i cried. when i tried to explain to her, she told me to just cry it out and not worry about her. i finished crying and managed to tell her what was going on, and she was very understanding about it. she reassured me that it was okay and she wasn't mad at me and i hadn't ruined the night. we watched friends and i had my head on her lap. she kept reassuring me whenever i asked if i had messed everything up. i felt better about it the next day, and even though i'm disappointed i still have the same triggers when it's strap, now i know to watch out for it for next time. we're going to get a dildo with a bit of give so next time it won't hurt, and i'll make sure we prep better. and e will know what to do if it happens again. it hasn't put her off me or made her not want to top me.

i know this isn't the most positive story ever, but i wanted to share because i wrote the kink diary for that night and i left this out so i could write about it separately. i wanted to show that like, you don't have to be totally healed after however many years. you can still find new triggers, or in my case the same triggers in an unexpected way. i also wanted to show that you can engage in kink when you're not totally all healed. you can dom someone and break down in their arms in the same night. i think i just wanted to help people feel normal. so i hope this was helpful idk 💕

[adhdbisexualramblings]

Regressor FLOWEY headcanons!

-Involuntary and trauma regressor. Enough said.

-He cries a lot. He was an extremely sensitive child, and the extra things he’s gone through (and did himself) don’t make that better.

-It’s not so much regression as it is…acting his age? Flowey doesn’t really ‘act’ like a child at all. When he lets himself do so, he can be more tolerable and sweet. I guess he’s be closer to an age dreamer, then.

-But give him a pacifier and he will slip into a much younger headspace. We’re talking toddler to infant.

-Regression means he doesn’t have to think about RESETs or timelines or anything past the present moment, but he’s also a really big crybaby.

-His regression fluctuates a lot. He could switch from infant to little kid at the flip of a coin. It’s hard to track what headspace he’s fully immersed in.

-The only ‘gear’ he has is a pacifier Papyrus gave him one timeline (which he has subsequently stolen every other timeline). He cherishes it and panics when he loses it. It’s pastel orange with a red race car on the front.

-The only people he’s felt comfortable with were Papyrus, Sans (Papyrus left them alone together one time and they have actually formed positive bonds some timelines) and, later, Frisk (though that’s only on extremely rare occasions when neither of the skeletons are available).

-When he was alone, to shut down his regression - which was often confused with memories and sentimentality - Flowey would just…kill things until it went away.

-Either that, or shoot bullets at whatever he could find that wasn’t a monster.

-He hates when Toriel or Asgore try to do anything with him while he’s regressed. It’s partially because it brings back dangerous memories and partially because neither of them are what he needs or wants most days.

-He can be very quiet and shy one second or fussy and demanding the next. It really depends on who’s taking care of him.

-Can and has sobbed about multiple of his old genocide runs out of the blue.

-Regression is almost like traveling to the past for him, which has a 50/50 chance of ending horribly. He doesn’t understand where his older sibling is or why he’s not being called by his name some days, which freaks him out.

-He’ll respond to ‘Asriel’ absentmindedly.

-Regression is strange to him. It’s like reaching for a memory you know used to be there. He can act as lovey-dovey and sweet as when he was Asriel, but whether that’s genuine is debatable. After he gets back into a more sensible headspace, Flowey wonders about his lack of a SOUL every time. It feels genuine, sure, but why? Memories, going back to a time where he was happy, shouldn’t be enough to alter his physical state. He’s SOULless, and therefore can no longer do things like that properly.

-He has auditory processing disorder and prefers hiding under thick clothing like sweaters if he’s being carried around. It muffles noise.

-Papyrus is his main caregiver. Or Sans, if they’re on good enough terms.

-Flowey despises the very feeling of regression. Every. Time. It just makes him angry when he notices it. Asriel is dead, should be dead. So why is he still just some kid? Why does he still crave what he decided was meaningless RESETs ago?

-When Toriel was sleeping in the RUINS, he would pop out of the floorboards occasionally to watch her or, if he felt particularly uneasy, rest with her in bed.

-Asriel was an extreme people pleaser. He was taught to be kind, which led too often to him being a doormat. Regressed Flowey is similar, and won’t like outwardly saying what he needs.

-Sans once found out Flowey was Asriel one timeline and called him ‘little prince’ when the flower regressed at his house. Flowey has attempted to erase all remnants of that RESET to no avail.

-Sans will also call him little prince/prince by instinct, which Flowey feels mixed about.

-He loves coloring and plush toys. However, the sharp thorns on his vines makes crayons and stuffed animals difficult to grab without hurting them, so he…doesn’t get many opportunities.

-There are times where he regresses for a full day and does nothing but sleep. He’ll fall asleep in the patch of golden flowers and panic when he wakes back up.

-Papyrus understands that his friend doesn’t like being public with his thing-Sans-also-does (Sans is a flip but shh that’s another post), so he tries very hard to take care of Flowey privately when he can. When they were in Snowdin, Flowey would stay in Papyrus’ room.

-Only Papyrus, Frisk (and by extension Chara), and oddly enough Toriel consistently know he regresses. Others have forgotten across SAVEs.

[secretwhumplair]

Ozriel

1,548 words | The black prince [WT] (sequel to Their Majesty)

Content | Guilt, aftermath of trauma, mute whumpee, power imbalance, mention of: pregnancy

Notes | 👀 Behind the scenes of the royal family 👀

Taglist | @echo-goes-aaa @whump-blog @scoundrelwithboba @whumpcreations

»Fin.« Ozriel’s courteous mask collapsed as soon as they were alone; they let their tears spill, and enclosed him in the warmest, tightest hug for Orafin to melt into. He was home. He was really home. Ozriel was here, and he was healed, and he would go home. He returned the hug as tight as he could.

»I’m so sorry,« Ozriel sobbed into his ear. »We thought you were dead, or we never would have stopped looking for you. I’m so sorry—«

Orafin shook his head as hard as he could, so close to them—close enough for them to feel it more than see it. It had been his own decision not to reveal his identity to be ransomed to cutthroat conditions he knew his family would be willing to give.

A stupidly heroic decision he had, despite himself, been bitterly regretting for months now, unable to revoke it for want of a tongue to speak with, but certainly not Ozriel’s fault.

He realized he was also crying into their shoulder. It felt good. It felt so good, and they stayed like this for a while, simply holding on to each other and crying out the worst of it.

»I’ll never let go of you again.«

Orafin dug his fingers into their back in response, and they chuckled wetly.

But they did, eventually, let go of one another, though Ozriel kept their arm wrapped around his shoulders, making it easy to lean against them.

»Are you…« They shook their head. »No, of course you’re not okay, are you?«

Orafin picked up his slate. I’m better now. What about you? You look like shit.

Ozriel smirked. »Language, your Highness.« It was a long-standing game between them; it wasn’t Ozriel’s job, at least not expressly, to teach him manners, and indeed Orafin had long since learned to be proper.

When he was with his siblings, though… that was a different matter.

Having attended to their play, Ozriel eyed him, their smile fading, and Orafin knew they had seen through his attempt at diversion.

Was he okay? No, probably not, Ozriel was right.

But he was going to be. He was going to be. And either way, he hadn’t the words to clothe his feelings, or the way they slipped and swirled and mixed.

He couldn’t speak them even if he had them. The thought hit him with force, although this had happened multiple times since his tongue had been cut. His magic was gone with it, but that didn’t bother him so much; he had never been very good at it and he was almost relieved to be freed from the need to live up to his siblings. His words though?

He felt tears welling up in his eyes and did his best to blink them back, but not good enough to stop Ozriel from noticing.

They squeezed his shoulders, helpless, he knew. They were Crown of the kingdom, and yet they couldn’t do anything to help him.

He whimpered, one of the few sounds left to him.

Ozriel gently shoved the slate at him, but words failed him.

»Okay. It’s okay, it’s… it’s going to be. We’ll figure it out.«

Orafin nodded, trying to pull himself together. He held up the slate, half-hiding behind it, to repeat his question.

They squeezed him again, then looked aside. »It’s… it’s been a rough few months. Not as rough as yours, of course,« they added quickly. »But… we thought you were dead…« Their voice cracked. »And then Mother… and I… I didn’t want it to happen like this.«

Of course not. Orafin didn’t even bother to write the words down, he just squeezed Ozriel’s shoulder in his turn.

Ozriel looked at him and attempted a weak smile. »It’s a lot. But I’ve been trained for this, it’ll be fine.« They didn’t sound like they quite believed it.

Orafin smiled, and nodded. Of course Ozriel’s rule would be fine. It would, in fact, be excellent.

His reaction drew another chuckle from them. »Yeah.«

Orafin wiped the slate clean to ask after his other siblings.

»They’re okay. Orina was with me at Akreh, she wanted to come see you at once, of course, but someone has to keep command, so I abused my authority.« They gave a wry smile. »I’ll send her to accompany you when you travel back. The others… they will be so happy to hear you’re alive. I’ve sent word out.«

And your family? My most favourite nibling? At least he hadn’t missed Zovri’s second birthday.

Ozriel’s expression softened. »Kaara’s at home with her. They’re safe,« they added, as if to themself. Then, after a moment’s hesitation, they added, »Actually—don’t spread it around, we haven’t announced it yet—,« they glanced at Elgar at the words, giving him a gentle smile as if to include him, although he clearly couldn’t follow their Ochurian conversation, »Zovri might soon have competition.«

Orafin’s eyes widened, and the squeal escaping his throat felt so appropriate he had no need for words. He lunged into another hug, shoving down the worry that this pregnancy wouldn't treat Ozriel any kinder than the last.

They laughed, holding him tight. »Can’t be all bad news, now can it?«

It was a relief indeed, finally having something so bright in the middle of all the pain and the ugly feelings lurking under the surface and Elgar’s terror.

Speaking of which…

They reached for the slate again. Tell Elgar you will protect him. On second thought, he wiped out the »you«. We.

* Elgar was still reeling from the black magic he’d just experienced. That, and the hairpin turn the Crown’s behaviour had made once they were alone.

As happy as he was for his companion to find the comfort of a loving family member, even now, it was clear Elgar didn’t matter enough to uphold appearances in front him.

And his blood still seemed to prickle in a way blood decidedly should not. Every fibre of his body had screamed danger at him at the enchantment, and the feeling was waning only slowly.

He barely cared that the royals spoke in Ochurian. He was too preoccupied with his fears to pay much attention to what was said, anyway.

»Elgar, is it?«

Elgar barely stopped himself from flinching when the crown addressed him, as unexpectedly as the first time. In Teeradian, too, again. Their dark eyes were fixed on him, and the prince was looking at him too.

Shit. Maybe he should have been paying attention.

»Yes, your Majesty.« He had whispered his name into the dark, months ago, in an attempt to appear friendlier to a poor wretch who, as they had both just been told, was worth less to their master than he, less deserving of mercy, cut out for more suffering. Free, even, for him to spit at further, as if he would ever want that.

Never had he ever imagined that act would land it in the mouth of the Crown of Ochuria.

»Do not be afraid,« they continued, their voice soft. »I meant what I said—we will all be eternally grateful to you for bringing my brother back. We will protect you.«

They looked him in the eyes with the same earnestness as before, outside. He couldn’t trust a royal—commoners were just tools to them, only fools thought otherwise; let alone slaves, tools to all free people.

»You can stay with us—with his Highness for as long as you like, and we will provide for you, anything you need. Or if you wish, I can have you escorted to the Teeradian border with a full purse and rations enough to travel to whichever town you want. I cannot protect you there, but I will do anything in my power to help. You saved my brother,« they repeated quietly, almost pleadingly. »I can never repay that favour, but I can make it so you’ll never suffer the way you have again.«

Immediately, Elgar wondered how much the prince had just told the crown about the ways he had suffered.

It didn’t matter, of course. They were royal and he was a thief and a slave, there wasn’t any dignity he could lose in their eyes. He knew that, he did.

»Thank you, your Majesty,« he managed. He pondered their offers, as if it was his place to accept any of them, wondering whether they had given any indication of what they really wanted him to do.

The prince softly squeezed his hand, and without thinking, Elgar squeezed back.

He didn’t have much to return to, if he was honest. Not safely, at any rate.

»I… I’ll stay with you, your Highness… if that’s okay.«

The prince beamed at him, and something inside him came loose. He had never seen this man smile in all the months they’d known each other, and now he was smiling at him like it was the easiest thing in the world. Like they were still companions who didn’t want to miss the other’s comfort.

He swallowed, feeling the rising tears in his throat. »You’ll protect me?« he whispered, and the prince nodded fiercely. Then he opened his arms in the most unambiguous way, and Elgar leant into the hug, believing, for the first time, that it might be true.