#if this album were a baby it would be able to read and write and also be in the 2nd grade

[strawberry-melatonins]

HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY PREQUELLE!!!!!!!!

[jinnie-ret]

perfect night

poly!stray kids x idol!reader

genre: fluff

content warnings: none

word count: 1k

requested: @whoswony

summary: in which stray kids are watching the opening show of their girlfriend's tour, sonder, and they come to realise a song is dedicated purely to them

1K FOLLOWERS PLAYLIST 💚🖤

MAIN MASTERLIST

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Oh how smug you felt, that a song you had written that was purely dedicated to your boys, could still be released and put onto your latest album, Sonder. Truth be told, it was masked as a song to all your 'girls' out there, about spending time with them being your most favourite thing in the world, and not needing anything else. That was how it actually made it onto the album. But you knew who you really wrote it for.

You wrote the song for Chan, who dedicated his life to protecting each of his partners and prioritising them over himself.

For Minho, who willingly let you read him like a book and get to know him because he wasn't scared of opening up to you.

For Changbin, who often indulged in late night deep conversations with you, whether they were trivial matters that you spiraled deeply into, or more serious ones that helped each of you lift the weight off of your shoulders.

For Hyunjin, whose dramatic antics yet romantic attitude always made you swoon, no matter how goofy he would suddenly become.

You wrote it for Jisung, who always managed to keep you on your toes, whether it be from him bursting into song, his sleep clinginess or his rambles about his new favourite anime that inspired him to write a song or two.

For Felix, who was your constant source of happiness, smiles radiating sunshine and reflecting his light across your shadows, forever brightening your day.

For Seungmin, your cheeky yet very emotionally intelligent partner in crime who helped you stay rational in times when all you could see was doom and gloom.

And finally for Jeongin, who always insisted his admiration for you, was levels above your own for him, because he couldn't believe that it was possible for anyone to be more adored in this world than you.

They were all you needed. And you couldn't wait to show them that, and finally be able to express that to them through the other thing you all loved - music.

-★-★-★-★-★-

Gorgeous yet eery piano notes echoed across the walls of the stadium as you made your entrance, like you were a mystical being that your fans laid their eyes upon.

"She's so hot," Jeongin sighed as he leant across the railings.

"Real," Hyunjin nodded, tongue grazing his upper lip.

"Stop perving on our girlfriend," Seungmin sighed and whacked them on the backs of their heads.

Your boyfriends were sat on an upper tier of the seating in the stadium, safely away from fans and any possible suspicions to why they were there. Luckily, if that case was ever made, fans would be sure to defend you, knowing that you and Jeongin were friends at SOPA.

If only they knew that the two of you were way more than friends. As well as his seven other band members.

Suddenly a new track they hadn't heard started playing, some calming guitar sounding out before a drum track starting kicking in and their girlfriend's poppy voice blended perfectly with the music.

"Come and take a ride with me, I got a credit card and some good company..."

"Wait, that's about us, right?" Chan's eyes widened and a big grin appeared on his face.

"She literally said her girlies," Minho said bluntly, making Chan laugh.

"We're sort of the girlies," Han shrugged.

"Yeah Jisung you do give baby girl energy to be fair," Felix laughed.

"So does Binnie," Jisung added on, smiling as their girl performed.

The fun, light-hearted choreography made you shine with your bright energy.

"I feel so proud, wahhh," Changbin held his hand over his heart, bopping along to the music much like his other boyfriends.

"Quick, let's head backstage!" Felix pushed his other boyfriends forwards down the stairs in pure excitement as the concert came to an end.

-★-★-★-★-★-

Stretched out on the sofa in your dressing room, sipping from some water, you nearly choked on your mouthful as the door burst open with eight men pouring through.

"You were so good!"

"That song was about us right?!"

"Right?!"

You giggled as you were quite literally smothered in their love, kisses being peppered across your face, your neck, your hands, swallowed up in the arms of your boyfriends.

"Yah! What if I was getting changed?" you gasped playfully as you pushed them all away.

"I wouldn't be complaining," Hyunjin smirked before getting a neck slap from Minho.

"Hey!"

And on they went playfully fighting as Chan gave you one of his hoodies he brought with him, just for you.

"Thanks love," you smiled fondly, pulling the fluffy black hoodie over your head as Jeongin tugged you into his arms.

"You really wrote a song about us?" Felix grabbed your hands to gain your attention.

"How could you tell?" you pushed your lips together, trying not to let any words spill out straight away. You'd keep them guessing just that bit longer, that was your game.

"Credit card and some good company? You literally said that to us one time," Seungmin shrugged knowingly, with shake of his head to get the hair out of his face. He had been growing it longer recently - no objections from you.

"That could just be about my friends," you feigned ignorance.

"Nah!"

"No way!"

"Hey I have friends!" you stood up, folding your arms and detesting their claims.

"We know you do, we know love," Changbin back hugged you tightly.

"But you also have us, hmm?" Minho smirked, tickling under your chin like you were one of his cats.

"And we're way better company!" Han declared, from his spot sat on top of Jeongin as he teased the younger and cooed like you all normally did with the maknae.

"I think Jeongin would disagree," you said dryly.

"I would!" the fox boy choked out, nearly sounding suffocated with distraught as he wrestled the older boy off of him.

"But you wouldn't, would you? Don't deny it, that song was for us," Seungmin pointed out.

"Mmm, sure, whatever you want to believe," you looked down at your feet shyly, knowing there was no turning back from here. They had caught you out. But you didn't mind anymore, you were happy because they were too.

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tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @kai-lee08 @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @yangbbokari @skzoologist @crabrangoongirl25 @atinyniki @writingforstraykids @minholing @lilmisssona @astraysimp @j-one25

[starsinthesky5]

Let's say if our Songbird wrote songs like Bed Chem, Juno, 34 + 35, Nasty and Positions about Joe, how would he react?

───────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───────

songbird 🥺

as we know, her versatility and range when it comes to her music is one of the things she’s most known for! she knows what her sound is, but that doesn’t ever stop her from dabbling into different types of lyricism, instruments, productions, etc. 

and she most certainly has a vault, so you just know some of the songs in there are pretty…straightforward. with reputation, she physically couldn’t stop writing and recording music—something which has never happened to her with previous albums. something about this record, this era, was extraordinarily different and she honestly felt so much more creative during this time. like she was unlocking a whole new level in her musical journey. 

some songs in the vault that she didn’t put on the album, but wrote around this time were bed chem, guilty as sin?, and nasty. 

however, only two out of the three were recorded. if she ever recorded nasty and let joe listen, hell even read the lyrics, she was sure that there would be an accidental baby on the way because…wellllll. like this song was not one she was playing about, it belonged in the confines of her journal and never to be heard or sang out loud. 

ever. 

she’d die. 

he’d die. 

the bed would break. 

anyway, bed chem and guilty as sin? were recorded and joey did listen to them :)

she already had quite a few…spicy…songs and lyrics on reputation, but there were some songs she wrote that were maybe just a bit too bare for her to release right now (but who’s to say she won’t at some point in the future).

bed chem, for example, was so god damn straightforward. i mean, she was basically telling the world she thought her and joe would have great sex the first time she ever saw him. and well, she’d be lying if that thought didn’t cross her mind. 

when he heard it, she was laughing her ass off at his reactions. 

—

the moment the first chorus hit, joe froze like a deer caught in headlights. 

his grip on his knee tightened, his jaw clenched, and he inhaled sharply through his nose, like he was physically trying to keep himself together. but the way his wide blue eyes snapped to her—like she had just flipped his entire world upside down—was absolutely priceless.

“baby,” he said, voice strained, like he was barely holding on. “what the hell is this?”. 

she was already losing it, barely able to keep it together as she paused the demo. “oh, you know what this is,”. 

he swallowed hard, shaking his head like he was in disbelief, but he couldn’t even get a response out before the next line hit as she hit play again. 

“who’s the cute guy with the wide, blue eyes and the big bad mm?” 

his breath hitched.

“oh, fuck,” he muttered under his breath, running a hand down his face, his ears turning an alarming shade of red.

she smirked, tilting her head. “something wrong, joey?”

he sighed, shaking his head as his fingers twitched at his sides. “you did not just say that,”.

but she did. and she knew exactly what she was doing.

by the time she got to the bridge, 

“and i bet we’d both arrive at the same time…and i bet the thermostat’s set at six-nine…,”.

joe actually groaned, dropping his head back against the couch, gripping his thighs like he was in physical pain. “jesus christ,” he muttered, eyes screwed shut as he fought the urge to drag her into his lap right then and there.

she bit her lip, setting her phone aside as she crawled closer, slipping her arms around his neck. “joey,” she whispered, her voice smooth as honey and laced with mischief.

a strangled sound left his throat as he gripped her hips, his fingers pressing hard into the fabric of her sweats. “you wrote that. you recorded that. about me. little ol’ me,”. 

she giggled, pressing her forehead to his. “you inspire me, what can i say?”.

his hands tightened on her waist, his breathing uneven. “tell the police that this is my cause of death,” he murmured as he started to press kisses along her jawline. 

she hummed, brushing her lips against his jaw. “i’ll put it on your tombstone, lover. don’t you worry,”.

joe groaned, flipping them so she was pinned beneath him on the couch, his lips ghosting over hers. “why are you so horny,” he muttered before finally, finally closing the distance.

she kissed him back with the same intensity, before suddenly pulling away to answer him. “well, have you seen yourself and that big bad…,”

—

then there was his reaction to guilty as sin? 

joe’s entire body went numb the moment the song hit that line, “what if he’s written ‘mine’ on my upper thigh, only in my mind?”. his eyes went wide, and for a second, he couldn’t even process the rest of the lyrics as his mind scrambled to catch up. his gaze flicked up to her, half in disbelief, half in a dazed trance. “wait…did you just say that?” he muttered, his tone showing his surprise.

she shot him a sly look, biting her lip, clearly enjoying the effect it was having on him. “what? don’t like it?” she teased, her voice light but with a hint of mischief.

the next line hit him like a punch to the gut: “one slip and falling back into the hedge maze, oh what a way to die,”. he leaned back, running a hand over his face like he couldn’t even believe what was happening. “jesus christ, Y/N. you really wrote an entire song about touching yourself to the thought of me?” he groaned, not sure whether to laugh or to pull her in and kiss the living daylights out of her.

but then came the chorus, and his face went even more maroon as the lyrics played: “my bedsheets are ablaze, i’ve screamed his name, building up like waves, crashing over my grave, without ever touching him, how could i be guilty as sin?”.

his jaw tightened, and he looked at her with a mix of lust and disbelief. “are you…are you really singing this about me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, like he didn’t quite know how to handle the intensity of it. “like that?”. 

her gaze was fixed on him, and she didn’t even flinch. “what?” she said, voice a little too sweet for the kind of effect she knew she was having. “you didn’t think i was gonna write about you when i gave you the general idea of the song?” she chuckled. 

joe let out a long, shaky breath, running a hand through his hair as he tried to regain some sense of control. “i died. dead. deceased,” he muttered, but he wasn’t sure if he was joking anymore. all he could think about was her—what she’d written, what she was implying—and his body was burning with it.

“you…,” he started, but his words caught in his throat as he leaned forward, his hands hovering over her before he finally just caved and pulled her to him, his lips crashing against hers. the kiss was hot, needy, like he couldn’t get enough of her.

he pulled back only long enough to breathe, his forehead resting against hers. “you’ve got me fucked up,” he whispered, still trying to come to terms with just how much she had him twisted up in knots.

[starlostseungmin]

whispers ─── lee felix.

✰ notes : first of all i'd like to announce that i reached 3k friends here! thank you so much for that and i appreciate every single one of you! <33 anyway if you watched ABOUT TIME movie, you are already familiar with this scene because it's inspired by it. i just made a bit of changes and with felix in it so i hope you guys like it (this is not proofread btw) also, please DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS after reading! thank you <33

✰ tags : @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly , @sleepyleeji

masterlist | taglist.

felix went home a bit late that one saturday night after work. he had to see the movie he promised to watch with jeongin at the cinema. you bailed out after he invited you when he mentioned he got tickets and made a reason to sleep on a day off. he parted ways with jeongin around the block and walked home, alone. 

it was cold, he could see the smoke coming out from his mouth as his hands shoved inside the pockets of his jacketーthe stars were illuminating the dark sky with a few clouds in sight but his eyes wandered around the streets. he was supposed to take the train back to your shared apartment but didn’t want to be disrupted by noisy passengers with loud music banging their ears from their earphones and he tried to take some time to think. 

you’ve been dating for the past three years and it has been amazing. he never felt so happy and contented. the joy cannot be compared to any other things. it was that time when the two of you met at a diner just outside the office where you were working. the purpose was to grab dinner and go home then, this wonderful man showed up who had gotten the love at first sight experience. an opportunity came in and a conversation. he invited you to dates every weekend until the feelings got deeper after getting to know each other for weeks, made the relationship official with labels, and decided to live together. 

for the past three years, it was magical as it made tons of memories that you and felix couldn’t write every single one of them in your journal. the polaroids that were taken are hanging on the walls of your room with dates written on each one of them. those plushies he won for you sat on the shelves, the books being piled up being read or untouched, the albums from your favorite artists being displayed on the table along with the music player and vinyl, the flowers on the vases, the letters and other gifts you’ve exchangedーit was sweet. 

having this amazing relationship with felix is like reading a book without a synopsis or a summary from the covers or even the first pages. you don’t know what’s going to happen. it’s like living every day and there are things you cannot control. it’s either you read and go on with the story with curiosity and braveness or do not read the book at all and miss a series of events that could change your life. yet, you chose to read the book and the author created a love story you could ask for. it did change your life as well as felix’s but one thing’s for sure, there are a lot of trials on the way but it would start by holding your hands together to make a stronger bond, just like how chemical bonds create structures. 

he went inside as quietly as possible as he didn’t want to ruin your slumber. the lights were switched off in the living room and only the entrance’s light censor made him see through the dark as he removed his shoes. 

felix has thought of all the possibilities and the impossible, the rights and wrongs, the obstacles and smooth ways while walking. the consistency of this relationship must remain and be locked. he knew it wouldn’t be fancy but he promised himself that he’ll do it in a way that the two of you would prefer. and now, he’s here, looking at your sleeping figure being wrapped around that white duvet. 

“baby,” he called softly as he shook your shoulder lightlyーkneeling down on the carpeted floor of your room. 

“hmm?” you hummed in response. “five more minutes.” you muttered making him let out a soft chuckle. 

“no, baby, wake up,” he said. “i have something important to ask,” 

your eyes flutter open, from a blurry vision to a clear frame directed at his face. a smiley felix welcomed you as he caressed your hair when you were about to sit up. 

“no, just lay down,” he said. 

“okay,” you smiled. “what is it?” you asked, feeling relaxed on your soft mattress and the coziness of your pillow. 

“you know that we’re happy, right?” he paused as you nodded in response. “i don’t know if it’s the movie i watched with jeongin that made me feel this way, it's always the romance genre that would hit me to reality and the thought that i always have you by my side—” he added when you put your index finger on his lips, hearing a piece of romantic music playing gently from the living room as it echoes through the open door of your room. 

“is that romantic music?” you asked. “and you’re on your knees while saying something that i doubt is not just a love confession,” you added while fighting to stay awake which felix laughed shyly. 

“yeah,” he said, licking his lower lip in embarrassment. “i am,” 

“go on,” you smiled. 

“will you marry me?” he asked which made your smile bigger and now you’re fully awake. 

“i think,” you paused, clearing your throat. “i’m going to say, yes to that,” you added, looking at him in awe, saying; “and thank you for doing this that does not involve a lot of people and other crowds. i don’t like many people,” 

felix smiled gently and placed a soft kiss on your lips before tracing his fingers on your cheeks, “i also don’t like people,” he said. “thank you for saying yes,” he whispered before leaning forward to kiss you again. 

“i love you, darling,” you said in between. 

“i love you more,” he answered. “get back to sleep, alright? i’ll join you in 10,” 

“okay,” you said softly as he smiled, leaving a kiss on your forehead before exiting the room shushing han and seungmin for playing the instruments he asked for support outside. 

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 11 (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 9 / chapter 10 / chapter 12

Making the scrapbook was cathartic. Remembering the good times, the innocence of your childhood, was as much of a joy as it was painful. The pictures were all quite good quality since Abuela had had a film camera. Some photos had been taken with a digital camera, which had probably originally belonged to the Georges and ended up in your possession somewhere along the way.

Regina and yourself playing in the Georges' backyard and swimming in their pool, beaming smiles directed at the camera. You could almost hear the laughter. I miss when we used to be able to just have fun together like this. I guess it's a part of growing up.

Regina in a white frilly dress, carrying a small basket of flower petals, donning a crown of roses on her head. She was pouting, clearly unimpressed by the whole thing. You hadn't been at the wedding since it was a George event, but Regina's mom had been so elated her daughter had gotten to be the flower girl. I remember I was so jealous you got to go to a wedding and I couldn't. You hated it, though, which was funny. You used to leave the room whenever your mom insisted we watch the tape. I wonder if she still has it.

You sitting with Regina, hip to hip, on plastic chairs while a newlyborn Kylie slept in your laps. Regina, eyes stuck on her baby sister and a thoughtful look on her face, while you looked at the camera with a smile. She's growing up so fast. Don't think I don't know you care about her. There's gonna be a time you'll regret not spending time with her. I already feel it.

Mrs George, Abuela, Regina, Kylie in her mom's arms, and you grouped together at a parking lot. You and Regina had on little graduation gowns and had scrolls in your hands. Elementary school graduation. The summer before middle school. End of an era. I love your mom's clothes, they're so nineties. Does she still have those jeans? You should get ahold of them before somebody else does...

Remember when I sliced my hand open when we were peeling apples? That was a time for sure. I still have the scar!

You taped pictures onto the pages, wrote little things here and there, hoping the labour of your love wouldn't end up in the garbage. Or if it did, Regina would read skim through it first.

I think this album was the first time we agreed on music. Britney Spears really brought us together, huh? We even learned the choreography of Baby One More Time. Mrs George loved it. I bet there's a video of that somewhere.

Mostly the scrapbook was filled with anecdotes about your childhoods together. You did write a letter of sorts on the first page, regarding your intentions with the whole thing.

I made this for you to commemorate the good times we had. You know me regrettably well, so I think you know how I tend to hold onto things. I still have that gaudy pink Build-A-Bear you made me for Valentine's Day that one time. It's one of my most important possessions, only second to the memories we have together. You'll always be a friend to me, Reggie. If not forever, or from now on, then back then. I love you. Yours, Jorts.

You'd pretty much finished the whole thing by the end of the weekend. You spent Monday and Tuesday decorating the front cover, mostly because you purposefully put it off. You cut out letters from magazines and glued them there, painstakingly forming the words Reggie & Jorts. You'd tried to come up with something clever, but making a pun or a dumb joke felt like cheapening the whole album. A simple name made up for with fabulous decorations!

You weren't much of a painter, but you figured it'd be fitting if the album reflected its contents. It was fine if the roses you painted looked like a five-year-old did them. A good majority of the pictures featured you and Regina huddled around a crafts table, similar projects scattered all around you, young with clumsy hands but filled with artistic passion.

The album in itself was an earthy green colour, something Regina undoubtedly found ugly. The flowers brightened it up somewhat, but there was only so much ages-old acrylic paints could do. You outlined some with Sharpies. If you didn't know better, one could assume it looked like that on purpose.

You took it with you to school on Wednesday. You had it weighing your backpack down the whole day. You sweated under all your layers, and by the end of it, you were sure you were sporting some epic pit stains. Gross, but you were so nervous. You hadn't broken into anyone's locker in so long. And it was Regina George's locker.

You loitered around the hallways as they emptied out steadily, people heading home or off to extracurriculars. As you approached Regina's locker, you swallowed down your nervousness and got to work.

It wasn't hard. The combination locks were all old and weak, more of a formality than an actual barrier between one's stuff and a burglar. The lock clicked open easily and you wasted no time in stuffing your album inside.

"Hey!" Just as the resounding click of the lock going back into place came, a voice called out to you. "What are you doing with Regina's locker?"

"Uhh..." Gretchen Wieners stood at the intersection of hallways, hands on her hips and accusatory eyes burning holes in you. You made the swift decision that you did not have time for this. You booked it.

"Hey! Get back here!" Gretchen, surprisingly considering her heels, started after you. "What did you put in it? You cannot prank Regina, or- or, oh, was it a bomb?"

"It's not a bomb!" You shouted over your shoulder, sprinting towards the exit. The aggressive clacking of Gretchen's heels on the floors as she ran after you would surely haunt your nightmares. How could she even keep up with you?

"If it's not a bomb then what!" How was she closing in on you? It seemed like she was not even fazed by your little race, meanwhile, you were already winded. The exit was not that far away, but it felt like miles.

"It's Regina's business now! Ask her tomorrow at school or something!" The doors to freedom approached. "Stop chasing me!"

"Stop running!"

"No!"

You burst out and quickly hopped down the stairs, two at a time. Gretchen was still on your tail, but once she got to the top of the stairs shouted: "Karen! Tackle her!"

You hadn't even noticed Karen fucking Shetty. There was no not noticing her when the girl sprinted at you with perfect athletic form and squashed you like a linebacker.

You collided and flew into the snow. Better than the concrete of the footpath but it still hurt like a bitch.

"Get off of me!" You tried to get out from under her, but Karen was surprisingly dense. She was small but it was as if there were stones in her body instead of organs. "Fuck!"

"Keep her there, Karen, very good."

"Thanks!" Karen beamed, which was a much more common expression on her than the bloodlust she'd shown earlier.

"This has nothing to do with you." You snarled, still wriggling. "This is between Regina and me."

"Whatever's between Regina is between us," Gretchen said, all hoity-toity. "Now, tell me exactly what you put in her locker."

"A fucking photo album." You hissed, closing your eyes and clenching your jaw. What lie could you come up with? "Our families used to know each other. It's mostly pictures of her, so I just thought to... Return it."

"Oh, that's so nice!" Karen's hold loosened and you went to escape.

"Nuh-uh, not good enough." Just like that, Karen's weight slammed back down onto you. Your breath wooshed out of your lungs.

"What more do you want?" You wheezed out, getting sick and tired of this.

"Why was it in your possession?"

"I don't fucking know! It just was!"

"Hmm. And why couldn't you just give it to her?"

"You think that would've gone well, Gretchen? Seriously?" You turned your head with great effort, staring up at the girl. "Please, just let me go."

"I don't think I believe you." Gretchen squatted next to your head. "We're going back and checking it's what you say it is. And then you might be free to go."

"Fuck you." You hissed but made no move to book it when Karen hauled you up.

"That's not very nice." Karen pointed out.

"I don't want to be nice to Gretchen right now." You had no real issue with Karen, even if she had just tackled you.

"Oh, okay." You couldn't see her when she was holding your wrists behind your back, but you could imagine she was bobbing her head up and down like she was known to do.

You were walked back into the building, going mostly without a fight. Gretchen strutted along proudly as if capturing you was some great victory. Regina had trained her well. You weren't sure if that was impressive or just sad.

"Open it." Gretchen gestured once you were back at Regina's locker.

"I need my hands to do that." You helped out, smiling at Gretchen like she was stupid. Sputtering and offended, she instructed Karen to let go.

Instead of running like you should've, taking the chance you could get out if Karen didn't get a one-up on you, you obediently cracked the code again. Was it selfish that you kind of wanted others to know about you and Regina? Was it totally horrible of you to want to know it was real and have proof of that? Well, if it was, there was no helping it.

Gretchen snatched the album from the locker before you could even think to touch it. Karen sidled up to her, peering over her shoulder as she opened it.

You stood by, waiting for their judgement and looking at the ceiling. There'd been a water leak right there, based on the discolouration. Gross.

"You... You're J. J is for Jorts." Gretchen said. She sounded weird, like hollow or something. "J is for Jorts." She said again, breathy and disbelieving.

"What?" What the fuck was going on?

Karen spoke then. "She talks about J a lot. Like, a lot a lot. A whole lot." You nodded slowly as Karen went on. "J's like, her true love. It's so cute."

"J is not her true love, Karen! They are both girls." Gretchen pointed out. You had to agree. "Are they?" She looked you up and down judgementally.

"Yes. I am a girl." You said. It was true, you were female and around the age that it was acceptable to be referred to as a girl. Even so, it made you distinctly uncomfortable.

"Hmm." Gretchen didn't seem to believe you. Karen was busy cooing at the pictures of small Regina. It was sheer luck they hadn't bothered to read your writings.

"Look, can I go now? I know I'm busted, you're probably gonna confiscate the album, and Regina will never see it. Happy?"

"No. Karen, please put it back in the locker." Gretchen said, not taking her eyes off of you. Karen did as asked with a pout. "What is your relationship with Regina?" The album was back in the locker, but it hadn't been locked again.

"Nothing." And that was true. There was nothing there anymore.

"That's a lie and you know it. If you're J, then you've known each other at least since middle school. Based on the pictures, even longer."

"Who is J?" You asked in exasperation.

"Somebody who she has protected for years now. Somebody who is always better than we could ever be." Gretchen pointed between herself and Karen. "J is important to her."

"Okay, well, good for J, I guess."

"You're so infuriating." Gretchen sighed, pinching the skin between her eyes.

"You aren't the first to tell me that."

"Of course, because Regina has said that to you. Because you've known each other forever. Because you're J."

"Listen, I may look a bit butch, but I have a perfectly ordinary girl name."

"That is not the point!" She spoke fast and high-pitched. "You. It's you. You've been under our noses this entire time! Do you realize how much easier things could've been if you were around?"

"Excuse me?" Now, you were really lost.

"You're excused," Karen said cheerfully. You nodded to her in thanks.

"We could never be as good as you. It was like we were placeholders for the ultimate pretty girl she'd somehow let slip. And it's you. In a flannel and hoodie, ratty jeans, dirty shoes, no fashion sense to speak of. It's you." She said that last part with contempt.

You were reeling. Regina had talked about you to these two. Had compared them to you, cited that you were better. For years she'd done that. She'd never forgotten about you.

"Look, Gretchen, I'm sorry Regina's treated you badly." You'd lost the need to defend her, even still. Then again, even if you hadn't, there was little you could argue about with the two she'd tormented the most. "You can probably tell this is something Regina doesn't want coming out."

"What does that matter?" Gretchen asked, eyes far away and legs beginning to pace. "We could- could finally bring her down. Yes. We have J, we have everything she wants. She'll come grovelling."

You took a deep breath. You didn't feel angry, you were too tired to get angry at mean girls at this point. Besides, nobody could rile you up like Regina.

"You're wrong." You put it plainly. "What Regina's been doing to these people, to everyone around her, is wrong. But what I find despicable is how everybody is the same. I know her reasons, I can sympathise with her, but I can't say the same for you. So tell me." You paused to take a deep breath. "Why?"

"I'm not good at riddles, I'm sorry." Karen said, looking genuinely apologetic.

"It's okay, Karen, Gretchen can answer for you both."

"She deserves it." Gretchen said, steel in her tone.

"You sound just like Cady Heron and Janis 'Imi'ike. She hurt them too. What do you think ruining her life will achieve?"

"I'll be the new Regina George."

"Do you hear yourself? You still idolize her. If you're gonna be the new Regina George, it's always going to be a Regina George world. Don't you want to be Gretchen Wieners?"

"No!" She screeched. "Gretchen Wieners is lame, boring, too eager, a slut, desperate-" She took a deep breath.

"Okay." You said. "Why? Because Regina said so? Why would you believe her? She's just the same as you. Look," You pulled the album back out.

"Here we're in the Georges' pool. She would not go to the deep end. Y'know, she refused to even go in without those arm floaties for the longest time. Eventually, some boy made fun of her for them and that was the last time.

"And in this one we're driving back from summer camp. Regina was already tall enough to go without a booster seat, but I wasn't. She'd just thrown the biggest tantrum 'cause Mrs George didn't allow her to take off her seatbelt to sleep. She went out like a light, anyway.

"We're in Six Flags there. We'd just gotten those ice creams and you can see that Regina's isn't sticking to the cone all that well. Right after the shot, it just slid off. Regina was inconsolable. I offered her mine so we could share, and that seemed to be good enough for her but her dad was not having it. He threatened to take us home if she didn't stop crying right then, that it'd be all her fault that their whole family wasted money and time on this stupid trip. Eventually she calmed down and Mr George didn't have to drive us back."

You sighed. "I already tried this with Janis, in a way. I don't think Regina would appreciate me airing out her personal life like this, but... I don't know..." You closed your eyes for a moment. "I just want people to stop making things worse for her. She's been so wrong for so long, and I know I can't keep defending her, but I just don't think revenge will make her regret anything that she's done."

Karen hummed. "My auntie's been teaching me about karma. So, like, if she feels what she's made others feel, then won't that like... Fix her?"

"I don't want to hurt her." You said, resolute. "Maybe, it could be the most effective way to make her see her shortcomings. But I don't want to. I do not want to hurt her." You looked between the two. "And that's where we differ, I guess."

Gretchen didn't say anything, eyes glued to a picture from the Six Flags trip. Regina had mustard and ketchup smeared all over her face while she was holding a napkin to your lips, in the process of wiping your face.

With that, you snatched the album from her hands, deposited it back into the locker and slammed it shut. The lock clicked. Without a word, you began to talk towards the exit. Neither of them followed you or said anything to you.

You couldn't stop people from taking their revenge. You had done your best to be diplomatic. Evoking sympathy in hormonal teenagers wasn't something easily done, or maybe you were just shitty at it, but there was little else you could do. If you went ahead and retaliated, hurt them for hurting someone you cared about, the lines blurred.

You'd just be another mean girl.

Notes: Sorry for the delay! The next chapter will be the last one, unless I start rambling or something. After that, I'll do a less structured series of epilogues. Loosely related oneshots, that kinda vibe.

Also, my writing assistant stopped working in the middle of this, so if there's stupid typos I'll come fix them later.

I swear to fucking god if the taglist doesn't work I'll start breaking bones.

Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism , @9unknown0 , @sage-rose2000 , @massive-honkas , @nattys-swiftie , @likefirenrain , @luz-enjoyer , @dandelions4us , @natashamaximoff-69 , @alexkolax , @jareaul0ver , @here4theqts , @charleeeesworld , @natsbiggestfan1 , @brocoliisscared , @yellowwallflowers , @scarlettbitchx , @ayoungexwife , @cyberbonesworld , @syddie-reads , @screechcat , @theenglishswiftie , @gabby-duhh , @sweetmissnothing , @masterofpuppets-10 , @l1lass , @starved-mortal , @nothanksbye07 , @nenas19 , @jvuyii , @starry-night17 , @reneeswife24 , @glorioushamsterqueen , @krononan , @slug-on-bike , @rayisaknight , @chaseatlanticlover91 , @reginassweetheart , @mirage018

(this actually makes me angry. why. why doesnt it work. i type in the @ and then i type in the name and then it shows up in the lil' box and i click it but then it don't show up ;-;)

(this is cyber bullying. the cybers are bullying me.)

(anyway, if you want to be added to the taglist there is no gurantee if it'll work, but i'll add you if you want! just comment on this post :) if anybody has any ideas why it's like this, lmk!)

[daydreamingatnight209]

Me actually writing and posting? What??? 😱😱😱

Enjoy some Colson content my lovelies 🥰

As usual Feedback is welcome, HATE is not ; if you don’t like it, don’t read it. ✨💕

“I’m Here, Go Back to Sleep”

MGK x Female Reader

Warnings - None. Just pure fluff!

——————————————————————————

Waking up to an empty bed these days wasn’t unusual these days, with the album deadline slowly creeping up day by day, Colson spent almost all of his hours in the studio, working himself to the bone to produce an album everyone can enjoy.

With your own workplace continuously overworking you, sleep or time didn’t come easily to you either. You couldn’t remember the last time both you and Colson had actually spent more than a few minutes at a time together in the same room and it was starting to become very lonely.

Leaving the cold and empty bed, after another night of hopeless tossing and turning, you sigh and drag yourself downstairs to the kitchen. Preparing for another day to survive on coffee you make one for both yourself and your boyfriend who didn’t even leave the studio last night. It was most likely he fell asleep there in the very early hours of the morning.

While the lack of sleep wasn’t new for Colson, it certainly was for you and you could feel it slowly starting to affect your mind and body.

You grab him a change of clothes, a blanket for yourself and his favourite aftershave before crossing over from the house into the converted studio space.

With the band already in session, you slipped in almost undetected, but as always, your eyes caught Colson’s immediately. You give him a small smile and walk over to give him what you had brought over.

“Babe, what are you doing up so early? You look exhausted” he whispers as he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

You let out a small laugh and set yourself down on the closest chair.

“Gee, thanks Col”

After a quick clothes change and the others leaving in search for food, Colson calls you over to the desk he’s working at.

“Come, let me hold you” he mumbles, stretching his long arms out in your direction.

Wrapping the blanket tightly around you, you walk over to your lover and wrap yourself around him so you were straddling him. He holds you tightly and sways gently.

“You need to get some proper rest, baby, you are going to make yourself ill” he tells you softly.

You giggle to yourself at his concern for you, knowing full well he wouldn’t take his own advice even if you begged him.

“I’ll rest when you do” is your answer and you can practically feel him rolling his eyes at you, despite not actually being able to see him as you rest your head in the crook of his neck.

The two of you sit there quietly, as colson continues to sway you and hum a track from the new album into your ear.

Despite not being able to sleep properly, something about being in colson’s arms after so long, settles you and you cannot fight the call of sleep that beckons you. Your eyes close slowly and without protest as you rest against the frame of your man, the feeling of safely enveloping you.

Colson smiles down at you, tenderly, the look of frustration and stress leaving your features as you snore lightly.

He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t missed these small intimate moments with you and did feel quite guilty for not making more time for you while in the process of doing this next album. You never once complained and took everything in your stride which is on of the many things he loved about you.

He couldn’t wait to look after you and treat you to something special as a way of thanks for all your support when the album was complete.

His train of thought was interrupted as he heard everyone coming back to continue the session. He panicked slightly as they all barged through the door and glared at them in an effort to silence the rowdiness they were currently displaying.

“Shhh! She hasn’t slept properly in weeks and I swear if any one of you wake her up! …” Colson hisses at his friends, before looking down at you to ensure you were still peacefully sleeping.

Slim is the first to put his hands up in mock surrender, a smirk plastered on his face as he leads the group back out the door, but he was secretly glad that this would mean Colson would be forced to take a break, even if it was just an hour or so. He knew he definitely needed one.

Once alone again, Colson lifts you up with ease and carries you over to the sofa, laying you down and climbing in beside you. He wraps his arms back around you settles in. The movement causes you to stir slightly, your eyes still closed you mumble for your boyfriend not to leave you.

“Shh baby, I’m here, go back to sleep”

[yangqism]

don't wanna break up again | dong sicheng

actor!dong sicheng x singer!femreader

synopsis. love and sicheng don't complement each other. despite being aware of that fact, it doesn’t stop you from coming back again and again, even if your set-up consumes you. or, sicheng and you are in an on and off situationship because he’s afraid of commitment.

genre. angst, romance (if there's any LOL), situationship

warnings. excessive use of the word "manager", reader wears contacts at some point, they have UNSPOKEN FEELINGS (mainly sicheng), industry pressure, toxic relationship (i mean, situationship </3)

words. 5,882

eternal sunshine. masterlist

it started on a red carpet, where you’d been cornered by a journalist asking about your upcoming album. sicheng was standing nearby, his black suit sharp and his gaze sharper. when he glanced your way, it felt like the world shifted. later, you found yourself seated next to him at an afterparty, where the conversation flowed like an unscripted duet.

“so, do singers always write about their own heartbreaks?” he teased, a faint smirk playing on his lips.

“only the memorable ones,” you replied, meeting his eyes with a challenge of your own and a smile that could melt the world.

you didn’t know it then, but he’d leave you with more than enough material.

it’s been two weeks since that interaction you’ve had with the industry’s most sought after actor. you’ve heard all the good things about sicheng. how he’s shy in real life and he’s cool on camera. but you believed that that simply can’t be true. 

but you also believed he’s hot and now you’re here, composing a song while thinking about that small interaction with him. you don’t know where this song would go or if this would even be published, but one thing’s for sure: no one would even know that this song is for him. 

“then i had this interaction i’ve been thinking about for like five weeks,” your manager read your lyrics, cringing at them after. “what the hell is this, y/n?”

“what? a girl can’t love or something?” you sighed, putting your ballpen down and waiting for another comment about the song you’re writing. “it’s about the guy.”

“yeah! i know it’s about the guy. and i’m pretty sure that you know that if you get tangled with him, the scandal is going to be big, right?” your manager sighed. you can tell that just by thinking about how much paperworks and apology letters you guys are gonna write, if ever, if ever you and sicheng ‘would’ have some romantic escapade, your manager’s hair would wither and he’d definitely not appreciate that.

“it’s just a song! and i don’t stand a chance with that big star. he’s probably dating an a-lister actress or something,” you replied. “like probably… he’s dating that lead actress of eternal sunshine! the nepo baby! y’know… their chemistry’s unmatched,” 

“ooh, yeah! i’m actually excited to watch that series because i’ve seen the interviews! oh my god they look so good together,” this time, your manager sat beside you, gushing about how sicheng and his lead partner look good together and how much he thinks that eternal sunshine would be a hit. 

“now you’re making me sad,” you pouted, the thought of not having a chance with a big shot actor hurts you more than not winning song of the year against iu. “i even made the title track of their series based off of the story and some real life happenings in the set,” you grinned, ready to tell your manager the tea you got off of the set of eternal sunshine back when you were invited by the director.

you weren’t able to see sicheng before because he had other gigs, but the rest of the cast were there, filming the other scenes that didn’t require the actor. 

“you know, oppa, i mean… who am i kidding? everyone knows qian kun, right?” you started to over exaggerate, “apparently, he likes the director! and everyone in the set knows it… and the director’s kinda shy about it.”

“honestly? if the golden boy qian kun likes me? i’ll marry him immediately.” 

“if it were you. but the director feels a bit insecure because kun’s perfect and all. but i do believe they look good together!” 

“and how did you get this information?”

“liu yangyang. eternal sunshine’s second male lead, the one who’s gonna get dumped in the end,” you stopped the sentence but your manager knew you’re about to dump the biggest, scandalous tea about the man, “but in real life, i heard he dumped dong sicheng’s lead partner.” 

“if i’m being honest? sicheng and that nepo baby’s chemistry is better than yangyang’s and her. but i do see some reason why they would hit off.” 

“no, oppa. you don’t get it, do you?” you sighed, “yangyang worked his ass off in this industry, the nepo baby got it because of her parents! sure, she acts well… but y’know, their vision in life might be different… maybe that’s why they didn’t become a real couple,”

“how about hendery? is he really handsome in person?” your manager curiously asked, “i heard he’s a real asshole.”

“damn right, he is! that man didn’t even acknowledge me nor the staff! he just went straight to the student nurse who was interning during the film to get some paracetamols i’m pretty sure he doesn’t need,” 

“so, hendery’s hot and an asshole. got it,” 

“and dejun… we made eye contact but that’s really it! he’s so afraid of human touch. but he’s so handsome too. even more handsome than hendery and i can feel that he treats everyone nicely, he’s just afraid of being too close,”

“you got all these crazy juices just from one visit on the set and it was enough for you to write eternal sunshine. your talent scares me sometimes,” you can’t really tell if your manager was complimenting you or is weirded out by how well you remember the facts the staff have told you during your time inside the set as well as your own perceptions of every actor in it but you’d take it positively because you do agree that eternal sunshine has some interesting talents in it.

“oh! before i forget, you know that award-winning photojournalist, right? ten lee? apparently, he’s exes with sicheng’s makeup artist and his award-winning piece was a picture of her when they were still together! that’s the kind of part i got inspired to write eternal sunshine, as well as the storyline.”

“they’re not together now?” 

“yeah, but it’s so weird because you can feel the tension and i think it’d be even weirder now because they’re wrapping up the first season and ten has to get the interesting bits while the makeup artist has to make sure sicheng is the interesting bit.”

“i can tell that you enjoyed your time there, y/n. but you better not tell anyone these or they will be in deep trouble.”

“i know! i just had to let it out to you because i know you love those actor rumours and stuff,” you rolled your eyes to your manager, already used to him warning you about getting in trouble from time to time. 

when he left, you immediately continued composing your song about you and sicheng’s interaction, acting like it went to something even more special. 

“i hope i can see him again…” you took a deep breath, looking at the paper you’re writing on, wishing to see and talk to him again.

you heard whispers that sicheng would attend the music festival you were headlining in but you never really took it seriously, considering the busy schedules he probably have because of eternal sunshine. but deep down, you wished he would come and see you perform… maybe he’d talk to you again and maybe he’d be interested in you.

as the sun was setting over the vibrant landscape of the music festival, you stood at the stage, taking a deep breath before looking into the crowd. of course, you were admiring your fans who came all the way from different cities just to see you but you were also hoping to see him. and that, you did. 

you could swore it was the most romantic thing ever because he was also looking into your eyes and when your orbs met? you saw a glint of something behind his glance… or maybe it was just your contacts. 

the music started and you sang one of your greatest hits, everytime, pouring your heart and soul into performing because it’s a song that you can definitely relate to now. ‘i hope he remembers me,’ you thought while singing, hyping the audience up to sing with you.

“why, oh why does god keep bringing me back to you?” you sang looking directly at sicheng who’s also looking at you with something you can’t put into words. you couldn’t really tell what it is that you saw in his eyes when you were performing because he’s with his friends a bit farther on the stage but at least, you could see him.

after your performance, your manager quickly led you to your dressing room where your staff quickly went near you to take off some of the heavy makeup, replacing it with some blush and lip balm so you could comfortably watch and enjoy the festival. 

“y/n, change into this outfit,” one of the staff said, giving you an outfit that is extremely better than the ones you have right now. you just nodded in agreement before going to the comfort room where you changed. 

“feel comfortable now?” your manager asked, giving you a water bottle. “i saw sicheng watching you! he looks so into your performance earlier, y/n,” he added.

you could tell he was teasing you but you didn’t care. you performed your best out there because he was watching. 

“it was just eye contact, oppa,” 

before your manager could respond back to you, a familiar figure towered you from behind and judging his reaction, it was the person you least expect to be in your dressing room right now. 

“oh, sicheng! what brings you here?”

“can i talk to y/n?” his voice was humble, gentle, and comforting. you could melt then and there when you felt his breath from your back. 

your manager gave you a reassuring smile, patted your shoulder, before giving the room all to you and sicheng. 

‘this is it,’ you thought. the man you’ve been crushing over for at least a month now, behind you. now, you guys are alone in your dressing room but you can’t even try to look at him without feeling nervous. 

“hi, y/n,” he started. 

“sicheng! so glad to see you here! i almost thought you forgot about me,” you sheepishly blabbered. this time, you faced him. 

and you almost died. 

the man standing in front of you is the hottest human being ever and people around you would definitely agree if you told them that sicheng is not just a random actor. he is the actor. 

“you were great out there,” he smiled, “it’s one of my favorite songs of yours,”

“i’m glad you like it! i had fun writing it last year,” 

he leaned against the wall, looking relaxed yet attentive. “so, which one of your exes inspired you to write that?” he caught you off-guard with his teasing remark, reminding you of your first encounter with each other.

“what’s with you and my exes? are you interested in them?”

“i’m just curious how they fumbled someone like you,” he shot back with a charming smile.

“flattery won’t get you anywhere, sicheng,” you laughed and tried to shake off what he had just said. “some things just don’t work out, you know,”

sicheng just nodded to what you have just said, “try it with me?” 

this time, you scoffed, “you’re an actor, i’m a singer. that’s like… a recipe for disaster.”

“i’d be in any disaster as long as i’m with you, y/n,” he retorted, eyes staring deeply into your orbs as he waited for your response. 

“whatever, sicheng,” you rolled your eyes, smiling lightly before your manager entered your dressing room again. 

when your manager entered the room, you looked into sicheng’s direction, as if to signal that his time with you is over and he took that as a sign to give you a short farewell. 

“see you soon, y/n,” was all he said before vanishing into the endless hallways of the festival’s backstage. 

your manager’s looking at you with that stupid grin on his face, “so? what happened here and why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost? you got turned off or what?”

“woah there, buddy. calm down with those questions, will you?”

but he couldn’t really stop smiling from your interaction with sicheng again. afterall, these days you’ve been thinking about the actor nonstop. 

“he wanted me to try to play the game of love with him. to be in a relationship with him, i guess?” this time, your manager smiled even wider, waiting for you to continue. “stop looking at me like a creepy man,”

“you know what this means right, y/n?” he started, “to have one of the most popular actors talk to you after your performance,” 

“yeah dude, it means they want to get in my pants!” you replied annoyingly.

“or you could’ve maintained the innocent route and answered, ‘oh! it means he’s interested in me!’” your manager mocked your voice to prove a point with both of his index and middle finger doing the air quote-unquote symbol. 

“i know…” you whined, “but what if we won’t work out? what if we end up like those songs i wrote about heartbreaks?” 

but your manager could only give you a reassuring tap on your shoulder, “then write another song about it,”

your manager is actually right. 

at this point in time, you might write another song about a heartbreak. it’s been months now, since that dressing room interaction with sicheng and after it, you found yourself entangled with the actor. in every place you never thought about, actually! 

“still waiting for him?” the lead actress asked you. 

right, you’re in the filming site right now, waiting for sicheng because he told you to come to his apartment later. you decided it was better for the both of you to come at the same time so as to prevent suspicion from the public eye. afterall, your manager is already stressed when you inform him about the situation with sicheng now.

“yeah, i am. how’s the filming going?” you tried to make a short conversation with the lead actress. even though the public has said countless bad comments about her, she’s actually nice and easygoing. and easygoing in a sense that this girl has probably never seen a bad guy in her life! 

“sicheng’s been acting grumpy nowadays. i think it has to do with his dating rumour with karina,” she started, sitting beside you. “you know how those idol-actor rumour goes,”

you nodded. of course, you do know how those go considering you’ve had countless rumours with many men, some of them you didn’t know even existed. but sicheng’s is different because his company keeps on pushing him to do it, telling him it’s ‘good’ publicity. 

before you and the lead actress of eternal sunshine could continue your conversation, sicheng and yangyang came into the picture. the latter gave you a gummy smile whilst signalling the lead actress to follow him. you assumed they have made up and are now in a relationship but you could only assume, sicheng doesn’t tell you stuff. 

“let’s go,” sicheng gave you a half-smile before leading you to his van where yuta, his manager, has been waiting for the both of you.

“hello, yuta,” you greeted politely.

“hi, y/n. sorry if it took long for sicheng to wrap up tonight, it’s an important scene that the director wants to finish immediately,” 

“you don’t need to tell her that, hyung. y/n understands, right?” the actor looked into your direction, giving you his charming smile. 

you smiled back, giving him the satisfaction. 

you will definitely write a song about this.

it’s never ending, honestly. your nights with sicheng in his apartment. him cuddling you to sleep while helping you write lyrics then you begging him to spoil eternal sunshine just for the man to smirk at your pleading face before telling you to go to sleep.

it’s those nights that made you stay with what you guys have but on mornings, you would wake up alone in his bed, leaving you wondering where he might have gone. 

on the first night he had left you alone, you waited until lunch for him to come home but he never did. you only realized that he had come to another filming site when your manager called you, worrying where’d you went the night before. then it happened again and again, urging you to tell your manager what really is happening but you couldn’t give an answer because the two of you haven’t talked about what you guys have right now. 

“it’s been hard, oppa,” you started, sighing on the way home the next morning after your encounter with sicheng and yuta last night. “i can’t believe i’m letting him do this to me,”

“why don’t you ask him about your status? you just can’t keep on waking up alone in that bed if you guys have something going on,”

“i don’t want to pressure sicheng, especially now when things start to get stressful in his work,”

your manager sighed in disbelief, closing his eyes in disappointment to what you have just said. “you’re preparing for an album too, y/n. things are also stressful on your side,” 

“he’s an actor, he has more things to think about than what we are,” 

you try to convince yourself that everything is okay. his texts grew shorter, his calls less frequent. hell, he rarely invites you on set. but when he’s with you? it was like he was a different person. soft, attentive, and present. he would make you dinner and tell you you’re the prettiest thing on earth, only to be left behind the morning after. 

mornings with sicheng are nonexistent. it made you feel used, unloved, and sad. but asking him your label is more humiliating. you’re afraid of putting things into his mouth, afraid he might lose interest in you if you’ve ever asked him about the two of you. 

you’re afraid to be too much for him. 

but you’re only human and he’s pushing you to the edge now. you’ve been overwhelmed with your recording session earlier and sicheng has not replied to any of your messages, even after you finished recording–your phone still had no sign of him seeing your chats and replying to you. 

after the grueling session with your manager inside the recording studio, you immediately left him to go at sicheng’s apartment, even if there’s a risk of getting caught by paparazzis. you just can’t help it now, you’re getting suffocated and confused and hurt. you’re getting every feeling you are not supposed to feel when in love. 

you rang his doorbell for the nth time until a sleepy sicheng opened the door. 

“do you even care about this?” if you weren’t tired and mad, you would’ve melted at his appearance now but your voice was trembling and your legs were shaking as he left you inside his apartment. 

“what kind of question is that, y/n?” his voice was sleepy but his tone was defensive.

“the kind i have to ask because you never let me in,” now, your frustration is spilling over and your mind is not working right. “i’m always the one chasing you, sicheng! aren’t you tired of running from me? haven’t you thought about what i feel?” 

for a moment, you thought he might say something to ease the ache in your chest. instead, he sighed and turned his back on you. “this is who i am, y/n. you agreed to be linked with someone like me in the first place. if i’m not enough for you, maybe you should leave,” 

the first break up was messy (like the other ones that followed). you tried to convince yourself that it was a mutual one but your manager, and everyone around you, didn’t believe you. 

you remember the way back home, your manager picking you up crying at sicheng’s apartment parking lot. he bit his lip and ran his fingers through his hair before picking you up, telling you to shush and calm down but you never did. all you did that night was cry and ask your manager if you were not enough. 

when your mind was kind of cleared, you realized that maybe distancing yourself to sicheng is for the better. afterall, you both had your careers and responsibilities. maybe being with an actor is really a disaster. 

but the break up didn’t last like how you expected it to do. a few weeks later, he showed up to your apartment, which also counts as the first time he went there, after his schedule. he didn’t greet you with his calm and comforting demeanor like the first time, he was cold and unreadable–distant but pleading.

“i shouldn’t be here,” he admitted as you told him to come inside, “but i couldn’t stay away,”

and just like that, you were back in the loop. nights that felt like promises and mornings that broke you all over again. 

“are you sure about this, y/n?” your manager oppa asked you.

“yeah! i feel him changing for the better, oppa,” you smiled brightly, eyes scanning the setlist for your upcoming concert.

“waking up with him beside you doesn’t count as change, y/n! you still haven’t asked him about what you guys are!” he scolded but you avoided his glance.

the truth is, you did. you asked again. it was inside your apartment this time. it was around december, when everything felt cold outside but inside felt even colder.

your head in sicheng’s lap as the both of you watched the latest episode of eternal sunshine. he was watching your reaction as kun’s character was being teased by the lead actress and hendery. 

“sicheng,” you called. 

“hmm?” 

“are you ready?” you asked. unlike the last time where you had the guts to confront him, you didn’t have the courage to do so that night. you were afraid of what he had to say but you wanted to ask. you had to ask him. 

“y/n…” he started, he was caressing your hair as if to comfort you but deep inside, you know it’s his conscience eating him up, “i’m sorry,” 

you shouldn’t have asked. 

it was humiliating but you can’t help the tears streaming down sicheng’s pajamas. you were crying while still in his lap. but what made you hurt more was him, raising the volume of the television just so he couldn’t hear you aching because of him. 

you fell asleep with an achy heart that night. the day after, sicheng distanced himself from you, feeling ashamed of what he did. you guys did break up again that time but you didn’t have the guts to tell your manager because, like what you expected, the both of you reconciled again. 

and then broke up, once more.

when eternal sunshine’s director invited you to the set again, you were hesitant to come but your manager encouraged you to do so, saying something along the lines of ‘face your fears’ or something. 

“hello, y/n! long time no see!” the director beamed at your presence, “i told sicheng to bring you here anytime but he never did! your presence is missed deeply,” 

“oh… we kinda broke up,” you sheepishly said, the atmosphere now awkward. before the director could apologize, you quickly added “it’s not like there’s something to ‘break’ ‘cause there was never an us in the first place… but y’know,”

she gave you a sad smile, “it didn’t work out, huh?”

“he didn’t work it out with me,” 

it was true. you tried your best to understand sicheng but every break up you guys had also made him even distant. sure, he was better than the first one–he would kiss your cheek, make you dinner and breakfast but everything felt empty. as if he was doing all those stuff to keep you to stay. 

“anyways,” the director cleared her throat, “i called you here because i wanted to talk about the album you’re doing for season 1 and 2. i assume your manager has told you to have it finished by the exact time the last episode of season 1 airs?” 

you nodded. even during the second break up that your manager didn’t know, he made you aware of the album situation with eternal sunshine. the ost you made became a hit that everyone is demanding another song from you for the series however, both parties agreed that an album would be beneficial for you and the drama. 

you couldn’t say no to your manager, especially when he looked so ecstatic telling you about the opportunity. music was your escape, but during those times it was tying you even closer to the man you couldn’t let go of. 

making an album for the drama also includes you visiting the set just so you could get the vibes, to make it as close to the characters as possible. 

“y/n-ssi! dejun made cookies and he said this is for you,” qian kun warmly acknowledged your presence before giving you the cookies dejun had made, “he said it’s for you. he hopes that he can cheer you up with these,” 

“oh, thank you, kun! i hope to see him next time to give thanks personally,” you gladly accepted the cookies and yangyang joined in your conversation. 

“that won’t happen, noona! dejun always disappears after his scenes so he’s not really close to anyone except the cast,” yangyang butted in, picking a cookie from your stash. “yum!” 

“yangyang!” kun tried to scold the younger man but he already dashed off to where the director was, discussing the next scene. 

“have you tried to make a move on the director yet, kun?” you teased, knowing that he had been trying to make a move, it’s just that the director keeps on dodging his advances.

“trust me, y/n. i’ve been trying,” he sounded so helpless you almost saw you in him, when you were still a mess. “he’s coming,” 

kun warned you but it couldn’t prepare you to see sicheng again, after a month. you vividly remember that time when you guys reconciled but called it off again after a week. this is the first time you’re seeing him again as you were determined to not meet him when visiting the filming site. 

“long time no see, y/n-ssi,”

and it hurt you more than the break ups you had with him.

the album, also titled eternal sunshine, became your most personal work. each track was a piece of your heart laid bare as well as the cast’s personal stories they had disclosed to you, but one song in particular, don’t wanna break up again, resonated louder than the rest. it was raw. it was everything you wanted to say put into a song. every lyric was a plea you can’t say aloud. 

when the album was released alongside the last episodes of the series, it was an instant hit. interviews came pouring in, but the questions were never just about the music. everyone wanted to know who the music was for.

“so, y/n! it’s been so long!” the host greeted you, “the song, don’t wanna break up again, is incredibly emotional! everyone was hooked! can you possibly tell us what inspired you to write such a heart wrenching song?” 

you hesitated for a moment, your chest tightening. a particular name was aching to be let out by your mouth but you swallowed it down. you smiled forcefully, like what the management had trained you before when you were still a trainee. “it’s about loving someone who pushes you into your limit, thinking you’re too much for them,” you said every word carefully, “that even though they’re making you feel all the bad stuff, you still hold onto them–like a cycle of losing and wanting,” 

“sounds personal,” the interviewer teased, wanting to pry just a little more. “is it based on your own experience?”

your throat felt dry, but you gracefully replied, “i think it’s fitting for eternal sunshine, actually! but i think everyone’s been through something like that,” 

but not everyone had a sicheng. not everyone had nights where love was promised and mornings where it shattered into pieces. 

the thing you have been dreading to happen, happened. your fans caught up to everything. the media caught up. 

the speculation began online after the wrapping up press conference of the cast where they were singing your album’s tracks. the part where they were singing don’t wanna break up again trended like wildfire that everyone talked about for weeks… because they were singing it straight into sicheng’s face.

clues were pieced together. from your social media posts, sicheng’s cryptic interviews, to his unusual behavior while everyone was singing your song. 

to your fans, it made total sense. this was your most personal album and everything you and sicheng had been saying on your separate interviews during the ‘plotted’ timeline, as what they have been saying on x, connected with each other. 

“GUYS! do you remember when sicheng was wearing a hoodie oddly similar to y/n’s and then us finding out it was custom-made?” one fan tweeted, garnering thousands of likes.  “‘we both know this time, so we say goodbye’ y/n REALLY got in the studio, wrote THIS, and thought we wouldn’t figure it out. sis, you played yourself,” another one butted in.  “‘this situationship has to end but i just can't refuse’ i KNOW this line has sicheng pacing around his living room rn. he’s probably listening to it on repeat like the rest of us but for HIM it’s personal.”

“this is bad, y/n! everyone’s linking you to sicheng,” stress is an understatement if you were to describe your manager right now, answering calls and texts here and there.

“if this was months ago, i would’ve loved all of these, won’t i?” you teased, remembering the time you imagined your manager’s hair withering from the stress a dating scandal with sicheng would bring him, not thinking it would become real. 

soon, you and sicheng became a hot topic together, with the netizens creating video edits pairing scenes from eternal sunshine with snippets of your performances. every lyric from that song of yours was scrutinized, with don’t wanna break up again becoming the anthem of the speculation. 

it was only a matter of time a fearless journalist popped the question, “your fans are convinced that the song is about a certain actor. do you have any comments on that?”

that wasn’t part of the question list they have submitted on your management prior to this interview so you were taken a back. you looked at the side to see your manager’s eyebrows knitted together, completely disappointed to the journalist. “i think art speaks for itself, it’s up for the listener to interpret it,” you replied, giving the journalist a kind smile. 

“but doesn’t it make you uncomfortable, knowing that everyone is connecting your song to someone specific?” it seems like a kind smile won’t falter this journalist’s pressing questions. 

“heartbreak is universal. the details don’t matter as much as the emotions,” 

behind close doors, however, the attention was harder to ignore. your team advised you to avoid addressing the rumours and apologized for the inconvenience the journalist had caused earlier. 

“it’s fine, it’s not like everyone expected for that to happen,” brushing off their concern.

despite the media buzzing over the possible ‘biggest’ dating rumour ever in the industry, sicheng and his management remained silent. it stung you deeply, for him, someone you loved dearly, to not go against his management rules and defend you. but what’s there for him to defend about? 

his management, so quick to fabricate a public romance with karina to boost his movie, now met the storm with a calculated indifference. no denial, no defense–just the old school silence, hoping it will die down after a day or so. as if you were just a fleeting rumour unworthy of their acknowledgement. 

sadly, the buzz grew when photos surfaced of the two of you entering sicheng’s apartment. you think it was that night when you were overwhelmed with everything that you just stormed out of your recording booth to ask him. thankfully, the photo didn’t show you and sicheng’s face but with the silhouette? it was clear that it was the both of you.

one evening, after another press junket, you found yourself face-to-face with sichang again. he’d been avoiding you per his management’s request but here he is, leaning against the wall of your dressing room. 

it was like the first meeting again. when he asked you out.

“the album,” he started. his voice was softer than you expected, making you remember the nights where he’d sing to you, “it’s beautiful,”

you forced a smile, “thank you,” your tone was neutral, “i guess heartbreak makes good music,”

his jaw tightened, “you think i don’t know?”

this time, you tried your best not to let out a sarcastic laugh, “do you?” you were challenging him, stepping closer to feel his aura deteriorating, “because you made sure it never stops,” 

for a moment, sicheng didn’t say anything and you thought he’d run away from you again. then, quietly, “i never wanted to hurt you, y/n,”

“but you did, sicheng!” your voice was full of ache, “and you kept on doing it. every time, sicheng… i think i’ve moved on and then you pull me back in. i thought you were getting better but you didn’t. i thought i was too much for asking what we had, you know? you made me feel bad for demanding things that shouldn’t been demanded in the first place,” 

he tried to touch your cheek, noticing a tear falling down your eye but you stepped back, “i’m sorry, y/n,” 

you shook your head, “just stop, sicheng. please?”

the final break up, or the closure (like what your manager likes to call it), wasn’t loud or dramatic. it was quiet, mature, and comforting. it was like a song fading out. the first weeks, he kept on calling, begging you to stay by his side but you know that if you did, you’ll be back in the cycle that favors him the most, the type where you lose yourself in the process. 

so, you stopped answering his calls and eventually, he stopped making them. 

the world never really moved on from you and sicheng but the speculations died down. in the end, your album and the series’ excellence were praised by everyone without bringing up the scandalous romantic escapade you had with sicheng. 

late at night, when you stared out at the city lights, the memories still lingered, soft yet cutting. despite knowing how disastrous it was to love him, you had returned again and again, hoping for something more… something that he wasn’t ready to give you despite him telling you to try it with him. 

and in the end, you let him slip through your fingers, even as your heart begged you to hold on just one more time. because beneath the longing for his touch and warmth, you know it had to end at some point. 

COMING UP NEXT.  “yangyang worked his ass off in this industry, the nepo baby got it because of her parents! sure, she acts well… but y’know, their vision in life might be different… maybe that’s why they didn’t become a real couple,”

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Seventeen

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: Okay! Hi!:) Just have to say thank you for all the love you lot keep showing this series, it’s so mad and so very appreciated. Honestly makes me want to carry on writing. But I also wanted to add a quick warning to this update.. There is a lot going on, we finally get what we’ve been waiting for!! But there are other topics that also come into play. SO that being said please read the warnings below.

Warnings: Mentions of drug and alcohol abuse (past tense), as well as sobriety, also a previous death, bit gruesome but needed- this relates back to a conversation held between Matty and Jamie in Part Eight.

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

She never did call.

Matty waited, and then waited some more. He fidgeted the rest of the day, smoked his way through a pack of fags when they’d been down at the studio, and then nursed a single pint after having allowed the guys to bully him into one of the local pubs.

It wasn’t until much later that night that he heard anything from her at all, and it hadn’t been a call, but instead a text.

Messages now Squeaks xx I listened to it 

He’d been cooped up in his office since the second he’d gotten home, looking through a couple of older demos and other sound clips in hopes that he’d find something that would fit with the current sound of their new album. George had been on his case about it all, claiming he’d been too spaced out as of late, so Matty had huffed but ultimately followed through.

Songbooks from years before were piled up high on his desk and on the floor, pages full of chords and scribbled lyrics cluttered the rest of the space, but he continued on, using it to distract him from the torturous wait.

When his phone finally did buzz, Matty had almost decided not to answer it, figuring that it would just be a message from Jamie, or maybe his mum. He was still waiting for that ring. But fuck was he glad that he’d taken a glance. Otherwise he might’ve missed it.

Are you busy?

The next text had come through almost a minute after the first, as though she’d been debating sending it. Matty frowned down at the screen, pushing away from his desk slightly.

She’d heard it.

She’d heard the demo. 

He didn’t quite know how to feel about that, or what to take from her clipped response. It was why he had essentially asked her to call him, because at least then he would’ve been able to somewhat determine what she’d thought about it, how she might’ve felt.

His tongue slid between the row of his front teeth in thought, staring down at the messages he’d received whilst his thumbs hovered over the keyboard looking for something to say.

Can you come over?

His fucking breath got caught in his throat just reading that, his tongue suddenly too big for his mouth. Matty didn't even think before he hastily answered her, worried she might take it all back.

Give me ten minutes.

He could do ten minutes. 

Fuck it. He’d fucking speedtail it out of here and try for five if it meant that she’d just let him in again. The last week had been painful enough, no need to fucking prolong it.

So that was what he did, throwing on the first pair of trainers he’d found in the hallway and grabbing at the car keys he’d tossed down on the counter months earlier. Forgetting about the album and the work he’d planned to do, along with whatever else that had seemed so important just a second ago.

She called and he would come running.

…

It was pissing down by the time he made it to her place.

Headlights on and ignition still running, Matty went to make his escape from the driver's seat, practically vibrating with the anticipation of it all. But he did momentarily pause to yank the keys from beneath the wheel before eventually scrabbling his way out of the sidedoor, feet immediately dropping into the murky puddle sat beneath. 

He’d parked like a fucking dickhead, halfway onto the curb and his boot sticking out into the empty street, but he could care less about it as he jogged around the front of the car and up the first few steps to her door.

There was blood rushing in his ears, filling up his head and making him dizzy with it all. He raised a fist to knock, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

He’d gotten there in just under seven minutes. 

His heart was pounding like mad. 

He knocked. 

It was minutes or maybe seconds before he heard a slight scuffle on the other side. Before the hallway light turned on and peered through the painted window pane sat atop the familiar front door. 

The chain fell with a clang and Matty swallowed, watching on as the hinges creaked, revealing her face.

She stared up at him, standing in a pair of pyjamas he remembered seeing on a late night call of theirs, her hair all tied up in one of those pretty buns, soft curls escaping at the sides.

Her lips parted with her next breath, the sound of it jumped out at him and Matty couldn’t really hold back anymore. It had been six months. Six whole months. Almost to the day they’d met... Back when he’d been cocksure and arrogant. When he’d still been reeling from another stint in rehab, and from the stunt before the summer, and from Luke’s death.

Matty paused. 

He hadn’t really thought about Luke so easily. Not ever. Not since that night. Not in passing.

But she was currently staring back at him. Her eyes wide and tired. Shining in the light of the street lamps that crowded the street outside. 

Matty stepped forward, reaching for her. 

“Tell me to stop.” He muttered. 

She didn’t. 

And so his hand found the edge of her jaw, fingers nestling into a place at her hairline, skimming the tip of her ear.

“I can’t.” She answered him. Always so full of truth. 

And Matty, Matty was a selfish man. He’d been a selfish kid, too. A bratty teenager. A hellish son and an even worse boyfriend. Always so egotistical, so bold, so brazen. But even more so, selfish. 

He would take and take. And this moment was no different. He took.

Her mouth met his with an agonising fever, and there was an eager sigh that escaped in the breath shared between them that Matty couldn’t really determine if was his or hers.

She let him in so easily, let his tongue roam. She let him pull her close, let his hand find purchase on her hip and hear her moan. 

It was a whimper of a thing, a sound that was swallowed up by his mouth as he consumed her again. But it fuelled that fire within him, that heat which had been simmering so close to the surface of his skin for weeks, months now. 

“Mouse.” Matty said shakily, walking her backwards, further into the flat, where their feet shuffled over the hardwood floors. The door swung shut behind them and rattled in the silence before he was spinning and pressing her shoulders up against its cold wood. 

“Matty.” She breathed back to him, fingers catching on his neck, then his jaw, winding their way up into his hair. Tugging. 

A grunt escaped him and he pressed harder with it, teeth catching on her teeth, hands moulding into her skin. 

She tasted of something sweet, it coated the length of her tongue and melded well with the cigarette he’d lit on his way over. He wanted to taste more of it, found his nose pressing against the skin of her cheek in an attempt to do so. 

It was a second later that he felt himself rut up against her, accidentally mind, but the zip of his jeans tugged at the band of her bottoms and the movement made him realise he was hard. Had been half-way there from the moment she had texted him, but now, in her hallway, with her grinding up against him, and with those pretty little sounds she let slip, it was almost painful.

“Squeaks.” He managed to force out and she swallowed her own name right up, one arm wrapping around the length of his shoulders whilst the other tugged at the nape of his neck. 

Matty followed her demands effortlessly, a hand slipping under the hem of her shirt to feel at the warm skin hidden beneath, a calloused thumb brushing against the jut of her hip.

He explored, felt the edges of rigid flesh she kept hidden and out of sight, the freckles that lingered and dotted her torso, then wedged his knee between her legs. Hands grabbing at the backs of her thighs. 

One of her knees rode up higher on his side as he shifted even closer, letting her use him like a makeshift ladder to lift herself further up in the little space which stood between him and the door. 

He rutted again and the joint of her knee tightened by his hip, the heel of her foot digging into the back of his leg, forcing him even nearer. He grabbed at the swell of her arse, noting the way she arched into him at the touch. How her stomach tensed. 

It had just been pissing it down outside, he recalled belatedly, but her warmth in that moment seemed to dry up the remaining raindrops caught in his hair and along the shoulders of his coat. His fingertips pressed harder into her thighs at the thought, feeling the bottom of her shirt ride up higher between them upon catching on the zip of his jacket. 

She nipped at his lip, then his jaw, hands all but clawing at his neck and his back.

“Squeaks.” He tried again, brain hazy with want but needing to do this right. He had to do this right. “Squeaks.” Again he said, a plea within a shared breath between them, “Baby, please.”

She retreated all too quickly, letting him go with a sharp inhale. Lids heavy with avidity as she blinked back at him. 

Matty realised then that he’d had her pinned to the door, crowded against the wood and practically having lifted her up off of her feet. He swallowed thickly at the sight and willed his dick to calm the fuck down. But it had been way too fucking long. 

He was unhurried in the way he shifted beneath her before carefully letting her go, unwinding the leg he held at his hip before she slid slowly down his front. Feet hitting the cold wood floors with a soft thud.

He blinked and gone was that selfishness they had just shared, that immediate heat, and suddenly she was all wary, shy almost. Matty reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, before he steeled himself and finally took a step back.

“You came.” She murmured after a breath, and had his mind been in better shape he’d have been quicker with his quip.

But yet, he was left drifting in between the heady thrill and the uneventful come down they’d shared. 

He blinked slowly at her. Could see that the hallway light was the only one on, but somewhere, further down the hall, a soft glow from one of her many lamps crept its way past a door. 

“You said you’d call.” He found himself saying in reply, though it wasn’t the reprimand he’d thought it was. 

Her smile was soft then. Fond. 

His breath caught at the sight of her, still laboured from the minute before.

“After.” Squeaks whispered in recall. And Matty heard himself repeat it, “After, you said.”

She took a small step closer to him, the padding of her feet echoed in the narrow walkway. Matty’s hands twitched at his sides.

He saw her throat bob. 

“Tea?” She questioned, and Matty was both thankful and resentful for the quiet offer. 

He nodded, blinking owlishly at her. 

They stood there, not moving, for a long moment. The sound of a car passed, then the scuffle of a person or two outside, as well as the far off yap of a neighbouring dog. And still they just stood there, staring.

She took another step nearer and Matty attempted not to react to the way her fingers caught on the front of his coat, memorising the careful way she started to peel it off of him, turning so that she could claim it and then hang it off some place to the side. He looked at her the whole while, scared to take his eyes off her, in truth.

He licked at his lower lip when he caught her staring too and captured her hand in his when she went to step around him. 

“Tea.” He reminded himself and she smiled, eyes flickering across the length of his face. As though she was seeing him for the first time.

“Tea.”

…

Her kitchen always felt so homely. 

She had spices fixed to a rack on the wall, wound in growing ivy attached to the potted plant that sat on the windowsill beside it. Her fridge was dotted in magnets and polaroids, and a drawing of Teddy’s hung front and centre. The table was always so neat, though still cluttered with the odd crayon and lego piece, a bowl of fruit was perched in the very middle. She had one of those kettle cosy’s too, a knitted one that reminded Matty of days spent at his nana’s house when he was just a boy. 

His favourite part of all of it though, had to be her. 

He stood in the doorway and just watched as she puttered about the space, flashbacks of previous visits coming back to him. She had this easy grace about her, an elegance he always seen but could never quite make out. She was a piece to many puzzles in the way she typically held herself, so ready to fight and so willing to wilt, but in that moment she just was.

And Matty could hardly tear his eyes away from her, from the length of her back to the curve of her waist. The taste, the memory of her still coating his tongue.

He’d kicked off his shoes before he could trail a messy track throughout her home, so his footsteps were quiet when he finally crossed the kitchen tiles. He paused just behind her, his hands falling to her hips whilst his chin dropped to rest on her shoulder.

She allowed it. Picking up the kettle to pour over two mismatched mugs, he simply watched her work.

It was a difficult task not allowing his hands to wander, or to keep his mouth from pressing against the pulse in her neck, but he withheld, content to just hold her. Humming when she picked up the milk and thinking over the last day they’d spent together. That night at his.

They moved over to the table not long after, her kitchen blinds were still open so the moon gifted them all the light they needed. Matty kept close, knocking his knees against hers at the very corner of the table, unwilling to go without.

She was quiet still whilst she danced a finger around the rim of her steaming brew, Matty was mesmerised by the delicate motion.

A hum of hers broke the silence they had since settled in, the softness of it causing him to blink and look up, immediately recognising the faint tune of the demo he’d sent her.

He smiled, his eyes caught on to the one she wore too. Practically conspiratorial.

His legs reached outwards to capture one of her ankles between his feet, her gaze flickered back and forth between both his eyes. He wondered what she saw in them, what she made of him.

“I’m guessing you liked it then.” Matty spoke, voice ever so low, still scared to break their languid solitude.

Mouse dipped her chin in a nod, peering up at him through dark lashes that made him want to catch her by the neck and pull her in again. He knew what she tasted like now, he felt as though it would forever haunt him.

“Thank you,” She whispered after, fingers cupped around the bottom of her mug. His brow furrowed.

“For what?”

She smiled again, blinking at him sweetly, “For my gifts, for always being so lovely, for sending me that song.”

Matty snorted, knowing that the last thing he could possibly be was lovely.

Fingertips touched his chin then and she guided his face back up to meet hers, he hadn’t realised he’d even looked away. But it was then that he was reminded of that night in his own kitchen, crowded between her legs and the counter, her kind eyes. You’re enough.

“Was it for me?” She questioned, watching him closely again. Something she tended to always do. “‘Cause that kiss, it sort of made it feel like it was for me.”

Matty grinned, eyes squinting with the strength of it. 

It was so easy- too easy, even- for her to make him smile like that, and he couldn’t even begin to decide whether he loved or hated the fact that she had the ability. 

“Yeah, Squeaks. It was for you.”

Her cheeks dimpled in an attempt to dim the smile she then wore, elbows pressing against the table’s edge, her foot resting on top of his own. “Good.” She murmured, leaning in closer now.

“Good?” He chuckled, following the motion. Eyes caught on the curve of her mouth.

“Uhuh,” She breathed into the small space between them, nose brushing against the side of Matty’s own. “Really good.”

He laughed again, low and breathy this time around, before he finally closed the distance and kissed her for a second time.

She laughed too, smiling against his lips.

–

For an insomniac, the dark was a place full of many contradictions.

Matty had spent countless hours staring up at all types of ceilings, in all sorts of places, and in all kinds of countries. But hers, he reckoned, was possibly his favourite. As most things had come to be in the short time he’d spent with Mouse.

Because even as she slept on beside him, bundled in the duvet and a blanket that smelt of her, he didn’t stress over the fact that he was still wide awake. 

His mind was too preoccupied to stress. Just thinking back to the expression she’d worn when she’d first opened the front door. To the breathy gasps that had escaped her in the hallway. The way she’d gently carded her fingers through his hair after she’d lured him into bed. Promising to talk more tomorrow.

He thought of Luke then, as well. As he often did whenever the darkness plagued him.

The fucker would be laughing if he could just see him now, obsessing and all soppy over some bird. Smiling away to himself in the dark.

But Matty knew that he’d be happy too. Glad that he was finally getting back on the right track. Actually trying this time around. Because Luke had known the hardships of addiction just as well as Matty had- it was what had killed him in the end, wasn't it.

He could still picture his face, both before and after the fall. One second they’d all been grinning on that roof, high as kites and drunk out of their minds, having the time of their lives, and then his had hit the concrete.

Matty’s stomach rolled at the thought.

At the eerie silence that had followed.

He’d been struggling that night, trying to get clean, to stay clean. And they’d only gone to the party, Luke and Danny, to appease him. Luke, having tagged along wanting to look out for him, to make sure that he didn’t get too caught up in anything he couldn’t get himself out of.

Luke had been sober three months at that point. Clean of the drugs and the drink. All of it. He’d drank that night though, the party had been at one of his dodgier mates places and he wouldn’t have been able to have stayed in the clear.

Matty remembered egging him on, telling him to live a little. To have a beer. A shot. And then another. And another. Someone else had offered him that line though.

He’d been hammered by the time some idiot had come up with that dare and they’d all thought it had been a sick idea to try and walk the length of the roof. Like they were at Zippo’s sodding circus.

Luke had been doing so good. Matty had known it too. What with his first EP coming out that September, something which Jamie had made happen, and his new flat that he’d not long moved into. Away from the familiarity of street corners he knew far too well and faces of dealers that he’d seen time and time again before.

He’d been good. Been going steady.

Then he was just dead.

Matty didn’t close his eyes then, even as they began to water. Didn’t want to see him like that. Knew that he would if only he shut his eyes. Because he couldn't stand to see the reminder, the life that had left him too quickly.

A slight sniff broke him from his thoughts then and he stilled as Mouse moved and turned in her sleep.

He let himself breathe a little easier once she’d settled again, tucking her face into the crook of his shoulder and nestling further into his side. He wrapped an arm around her, needing her close, and then finally allowed his eyes to fall shut, burying his face in the top of her hair.

He wondered if she’d let him stay from now on and pressed a long kiss to her forehead.

He hoped that she would, listening to the quiet that hummed throughout the rest of her flat as his mind began to let go of what consciousness it had once clung on to.

‘Tomorrow’ was his final thought before he eventually drifted off. It had been a long time since he’d thought that he’d ever make it to a tomorrow.

–

It was a grunt I woke up to. The heavy and unfavoured kind, the type that was only ever forced out of you when you received a hefty blow to the stomach.

I felt my face wrinkle as I pressed in closer to the warmth beside me, unhappy to have been woken. But then I heard a whisper, followed by a giggle, which had me blinking blearily and peering up at the toddler now towering over me.

“Wake now?”

“Teddy.” I heard someone else laugh right above my head, and I was quick in the way I looked up, recognising that the warmth I’d been clinging to had been Matty all along. “You’re an actual monster, you know that?”

Teddy squealed happily when Matty tickled his sides, but seemed content with his place on the man’s stomach and the fact that Matty was here at all. 

I wanted to groan at the very idea, I hadn't much thought this through. Not when I’d heard the song, thinking back to the night I’d spent at his, the fight we’d had, the way he’d held Teddy and promised him that things would soon be alright.

It hadn’t felt real. It still didn’t.

“Wake?” Teddy said to me again and I had to give a soft laugh when I felt his finger prod at my cheek, which was probably marked with the line of Matty’s t-shirt now. “Yeah?”

I chuckled again, peering up at him. “Yeah, I’m awake.” I replied, smiling before I rubbed at my eyes.

Matty’s arm seemed to be tucked up under me because it twitched a tad when I moved. I grimaced at the loss of feeling he must have experienced and murmured a quiet “Sorry,” shuffling over slightly so that I could free the limb. But he merely laughed to himself before his hand came up to rub at my arm, keeping me close. 

“It’s fine.” Matty replied, his voice tinged with sleep and grainy from lack of use, but then he winced and flexed his fingers, “Oh.”

I snorted softly and glanced up at him, “Pins and needles?”

His nose wrinkled further, as did his lips when he tilted his head back and tried to shake loose the feeling from his wrist. I let him have his arm back, turning over onto my stomach to simply watch him, drinking in the sight of him whilst I still could.

“Yeah.” He hissed out and Teddy, who was watching too, started to shake his arm alongside Matty.

Matty only noticed the mimicking movement when he felt the toddler shift on his torso and opened his eyes up only to laugh at the way that Teddy was now copying him.

“Oi,” He admonished, using his other hand to playfully pinch at the boy’s side, “What you think you’re doin’?”

Teddy giggled, hair a mess from having just woken but grinning all the while. “Dancin’! Like you!”

I shook my head and bit back my sudden amusement before dropping it down into my hands when I couldn’t quite manage to hide my growing smile.

“Oh, we’re dancing are we?” I heard Matty say, and could feel the grin he probably wore. Then Teddy was laughing again and squirming beside me once more, sounding so happy, before the bed tilted more so to one side and a soft thud was heard. “Oi, where you off to!” Matty asked him whilst Teddy’s giggles still echoed around the space.

“Tele!” Was the only response he got and I listened to the way Teddy’s feet hurried out of the room, having escaped Matty’s merciless tickles.

There was a quiet for a moment before I felt a hand come to cradle my head and fingers card their way through my hair.

I leaned into the touch, savouring it. I didn’t think anyone had ever touched me with such a softness before, like I was something to be treasured, to be held and kept close.

It was a long while before I finally raised my head again, blinking at the sweet sight I was met with. I smiled at the mess his curls were in and the way his eyes squinted in the dim light of the room.

“Hi.” I whispered and his fingers stilled in my hair when he looked back at me. 

Matty didn’t say a thing though, merely shuffled further down the bed, the duvet being kicked somewhere to the bottom before he finally settled in beside me, both our heads now resting on a single pillow.

His fingertips skirted along the edge of my jaw and trailed across the bottom of my lip before his thumb reached out to catch it too, pinching the flesh ever so slightly.

“You snore.” Matty said to me then and my mouth dropped open slightly in offence.

“I do not.”

He snorted to himself, grin widening, “You do.”

I shoved him but his hands were quick to grab at my arms, wrapping them up and moving to press them against his chest. “It’s cool though, they’re cute snores.”

“How the fuck can they be cute, Matty?”

He rolled his eyes at the ask, still grinning away. “Like, just soft and stuff. Don’t stress, I’ve roomed with George and he’s got the lungs of a whale or summat. I could probably sleep next to a fog horn and feel at home.”

A bright laugh escaped me at that, before I was shaking my head gently and looking back at his sleepy smile. “That makes me feel so much better.”

Matty smacked his lips around another grin, shrugging the shoulder that wasn’t pressed to the mattress. He reached out then, brushing a loose strand from out of my face and let his thumb linger on a freckle.

“Your breath stinks as well.”

I bit into my bottom lip at that, narrowing my eyes at him. “Well yours is no better! And besides, you didn’t seem to mind it much last night.”

I went to turn over then but he was hasty in his movements to grab at me, tugging me back towards him, closer this time. I laughed joyfully, “Hey!”

“Hi.” Matty grinned smugly once we'd settled, his hand falling to the small of my back.

I was gripping one of his shoulders now whilst my other arm laid in the little space between us. “I said that already.” I told him, feeling each soft exhale that escaped him. 

He hummed, thumb rubbing circles into my skin. “I missed you, you know.”

My brow furrowed, “You slept right beside me, you muppet.”

He pinched my hip in retaliation and so I chuckled. “You know what I meant.”

I did know.

“Missed you, too.” I murmured, letting my fingertips trail up over the side of his neck, liking the feel of his barely there stubble. “But-”

He stopped me then, nudging my cheek with the tip of his nose, “I know. Later, yeah?”

My eyes fell closed and I hummed in agreement, later was fine. We could talk later.

His hand pressed against the curve of my back, forcing me even closer, and so my fingers worked themselves into his hair. I exhaled softly and tilted my head forward just a touch. He closed the distance between us in a single heartbeat.

Kissing Matty was different, everything about it just felt right in a way that no other kisses ever quite had. Things appeared to click. Fall into place around me. 

But don't get me wrong, it was painful too, because there was that ache in my chest again, the hole that hollowed out my unforgiving heart. I wanted him but at the same time, I was too terrified to reach out and touch.

Our lips brushed, once, twice, then a third time, hesitant and careful, before something shifted and I was taken back to the previous night. To the way his fingers had dug deep into my thighs, to the front door pressing against my spine, to the way he’d held me so weightlessly.

Talking could wait til later, I reminded myself.

Now, all I wanted was for Matty to consume me and I immediately gasped at the cold hand that dragged its way up my side to tease me, thumb brushing against the nipple that hardened beneath it. 

I wouldn’t let him have all the fun though, so without a second thought I rolled him over and settled on his hips. He was surprised by the change but adapted seamlessly, rutting up off the mattress to meet me, one hand still toying with me, taunting, whilst the other cupped the back of my head.

It was back and forth for a short while, mouth chasing mouth, chests heaving with the force of it.

But then, a bang hollowed out the flat.

I jumped at the sudden noise and shot my head over towards the door, listening in closer.

“Okay?” I called out, noting the breathless quality my voice now had. I waited and didn’t move even when Matty’s hands came to just sit on my waist. 

“‘Kay!” I heard Teddy shout back and I released a semi-amused huff before turning back to face the man beneath me, “Sorry.”

And I was. I really was, especially when I forced myself to drop back down onto the bed sheets next to him.

Matty simply chuckled and I glanced over at him, smiling slightly when he reached out to swipe a gentle thumb over the scar on my jaw. “You’re good." I wondered if he was just saying that, but then, "What do you think he’s actually done though? Sounded like the bike to me.”

I sighed at the very thought. The bike had been one of my mum’s many Christmas gifts to Teddy, one which I hardly had any room for in the flat. I silently hoped that it wasn't the bike, but was caught on the way Matty had so easily adapted, moving on without complaint.

Was that normal?

Matty’s hand coaxed me back into looking at him again and I softened when I saw the smile he wore. “Later,” He reminded me, knocking a knuckle against my chin before he withdrew completely, sitting up on the edge of the bed. “How about a fry up then? There's that bakery by the studio or the cafe up near mine, choice is yours but it’s on me.”

“Matty.” I huffed, not a whine but near enough, extending an arm out in hopes that it would call him back to bed.

He smirked, glancing at me from over his shoulder once he'd stood. He dragged a hand through his hair. “Come on, got a growing boy to feed- Teddy too, I 'spose.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help my grin. “You’re an idiot.”

“So you’ve said.” He quipped and I could hear how his laughter filled the flat even as he headed for the bathroom, “Teds get ready, mate! We're getting bacon!”

I fell back onto the mattress with a smile, staring up at the ceiling above me with a little bit of hope.

[yusume-the-writer]

Can you write SFW headcannons for Domina as a bf? Domina is bae 💓

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐃𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞

Request made by Anon, I hope you like it!!! Don't forget to drink water and eat something (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

It's been a while since I posted, but I'm finalizing some requests and closing the request box to make my own fanfics, I hope you like this headcanons (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠)

Gender: Fluff

*╔═══❖•ೋ° °ೋ•❖═══╗*

•To be in a relationship with him, you must first know that he is as far away from society's 'ideals' as possible

↑ As we know, Domina spent most of her life isolated from people other than her father and silent maids, along with the fact that Levís said that he seemed to belong to a totally different world

↑This shows that he is so far outside of society that he does not seem to be from this world but rather a being that looks like a human but is not one (my opinion)

•This is the first part, there are other parts, but this is the main one!! So write it down in your mind, ok?

•So the beginning of your relationship will be very monotonous, or rather it will seem like the end of the relationship...

↑Don't get it wrong! He is and needs to get used to the fact that someone loves him for who he is, and not because he is useful for some plan to destroy humanity...(Innocent Zero you may be beautiful but my hatred and desire to murder you is greater)

•And you're okay with that, you understand that this is something new and strange for him, so you evolve the relationship in baby steps

↑Baby steps that can be very slow... But you knew that from the moment you confessed

•And what happens when he gets used to it? Well... And as if you are in the honeymoon phase only permanently

•Hey, your relationship with Domina Blowelive begins!!! Yey~~

•As I said in my previous Domina post, he doesn't have a specific love language

•There will be times when he will give you some flower or shell that he found and remembered you (you always keep it in an album made specifically for Domina), or when you see that some household task that you needed to do has already been done, or he'll just kiss you on the cheek for no reason (he does this more when you're alone), when you're sitting in the school garden without saying anything while watching the students doing their thing, or in the middle of the night he whispers in the your ear how much he loves you (sometimes he does this when he knows you're sleeping, other times he does it knowing you can hear)

•He will always support your back with one hand while you are in a busy and crowded place, he will give you notes that he took during class to help you understand the material better

↑In short, he favors more acts of service

•He's going to read those cliché books on how to be a good lover!!!! You can't change my mind!!! He will read it, he will be shy and won't be able to do it for fear of your negative reaction.

↑If he knew that you read the same books and that you do or have done what was written in the book....

•In fact, he found the same books he reads under your bed and when you walked in, you were in a staring contest to see who would speak first (you were both blushing 50 shades of pink...)

↑You guys will never talk about it, but he's happy that he's not the only one who is new to this type of relationship and uses a few tips here and there from the book

•He probably knows facts about marine biology and he will say the most random things in your everyday life, some cute and some scary

↑Something like "Did you know that otters hold each other's hands when they sleep in rivers so they don't get lost" and another like "Did you know that there are species of dolphins that eat shark meat" (I'm like that sometimes...)

↑You've gotten used to it, until it's cute to see him all excited talking about these random facts (even if some are scary...)

•It's canon that Domina doesn't have any hobbies so he sometimes joins you when you're doing your hobbies

↑He will sit next to you and ask questions here and there, please understand that he is curious and that he wants to be closer to you but he doesn't know how to do that without asking, he can ask other people but he wants to understand from your point of view

•Please invite him to do your hobby, he would be very happy if you taught him

•Now let's go to the types of meetings!!!

• His meetings are very casual, sometimes you go out to school but most of them are in Domina's room

•You sometimes meet in the kitchen to cook meals with apples and (favorite fruit)

↑Somehow you invoked a very ancient mythological figure while trying to make apple pie, in the end you were grounded because of the damage you did in the kitchen, from that day on you were careful in the kitchen

↑You laugh every time one of you brings up that memory or when you're making apple pie (one of you will always come up with a little pun like "Make sure you don't confuse it with the book of invocations")

•Another date would be picnics with the apple pies and other desserts you made

•During one night Domina couldn't sleep because of her less than happy thoughts and was showing clear signs of an anxiety attack

↑You wanted to help in some way so you decided to take him to the school terrace to see the stars, this helped him calm down while you two tried to guess which constellation it was (You were the majority but it's okay)

↑After that day it became a normal thing the two of you do when the other isn't feeling well

•Almost every weekend you go to the beach just to see the sea, sometimes you take a broom to get further and see the marine species that hide underwater

•But sometimes you stay in the sand looking for shells and crabs, during the search one of you starts a fight throwing water at each other

↑Once a crab pinched you, while Domina helped you take it out you could see that he was trying to hold back his laughter (In the end you laughed as soon as you took the crab out)

•Now let's go to the PDA

•I'm going to be very honest here, it's not easy at first...

↑He is like a skittish animal, he will not bite or attack but he will retreat from attempts at affection

•As I said before, Domina is someone who is in a different world, that is, he has thoughts, ideas and a different perspective than most people, so for him to receive love without needing something in return is a very strange thing for him

↑This is the main part that will make baby steps slower

•But when he finally gets used to this affection... And better prepare

↑It takes a lot to make someone so affectionate that sometimes they seem to jump on you, something they wouldn't do...in public...

•He doesn't hug you in public, but he will always be touching you or close to you in some way

↑How to hold his hand when you walk together, touch his shoulder every time he comes to you, lean your head on his shoulder when he's bored, play with his hair from time to time (if your hair is long he'll try to braid it) , put your head on his lap when you are sleeping in a place outside the dorm

↑If you do one of these things to him, Domina becomes the happiest man in the world, his cheeks will blush, he will blush even more when you praise him

•Random fact, he gets more nervous when you praise him or make a joke

•Like when someone else compliments him, he'll just nod his head to show he heard, but when it's you who compliments him, oh boy

↑He will be speechless and when he tries to form a sentence he will stutter and become a blushing mess, give more compliments and he will combust (and you can almost see him turning into a puddle...)

↑Over time he will get used to your compliments, but he will still blush and twirl a strand of his own hair trying to contain himself, but you can see that it really affects him with the big goofy smile he tries to hold back

•Another important factor that you are not changing is that he is changing!!! You are there as a form of support and inspiration

↑You can't change a person, but you can inspire someone to change themselves

•In my opinion, a great boyfriend if you have patience and understand that he is new and has never received this type of love

*╚═══❖•ೋ° °ೋ•❖═══╝*

[r7leee]

can you write anything towa x reader :)

i need to feed my delusions lol

OH YES MA’AM U KNOW I CAN

one for the road | t.b.

ANON I AM SOSO SORRY FOR TAKING THIS LONG 😭😭 i’m only a procrastinator when it comes to writing fics istg. anyway, i hope this is good, enjoy <33

pairing: towa bird x fem!reader

summary: towa takes you, her girlfriend, to a post-show party. caught up in the festivities, you get a little hammered, leaving towa to take care of you

warnings: cursing, alcohol (obvi), intoxicated!reader, mentions of throwing up (none actually done though), i think that’s it!!!

word count: 1,585, should take about 12 minutes to read

TOWA WAS ADMITTEDLY a pretty small artist. she’s always had hopes of getting big, but for the past year, she’d been stuck.

so, after booking her first major festival, all things go, she had pretty high hopes. if she was able to even get into the festival, she had to be pretty likeable, right?

it would be a while before she got to perform, and in the gap of months between, she met you. completely on accident, you fell into her life and suddenly became one of the most important things to her.

when she told you she was an artist and that she’d be playing a few upcoming shows, you immediately promised you’d take days off to go see.

when the time finally came for the festival to play, you were there. perks of being towa’s girlfriend, front row, too.

her set was spectacular, playing her favorite songs out of her album. you’d been to a couple of her other performances, but this had something different than normal. something more enticing.

the way she so effortlessly sang the most beautiful chords, how she looked at you when she got to a specific lyric…

when the show ended, you ran backstage to towa. you immediately embraced her, squeezing her tight. you whispered praises in her ear, how she did such a good job, how you were so proud of her.

after a bit of relaxing backstage, you had to quickly rush on the plane to d.c. for the next day.

the rush from traveling was a blur, and before you knew it, you were in the front row again in washington.

even from the jet lag and rush, towa, again, nailed her performance. she had a way with her songs that made the audience invested, chanting the words to every song.

after 45 minutes or so, you were, again, rushing backstage. your girlfriend hugged you again, you told her how proud you were, and you thought that’d be it. it wasn’t.

as you went to sit on the couch, she told you something that happened. “so…reneé might’ve invited me to a party.” you raised an eyebrow.

“with who?”

“i don’t know. people.”

“towa, baby, you need rest,” you protested, genuinely looking out for your girlfriend. it’d been an exhausting few days.

“angel, one party won’t kill me.” she started to whine. “pleeeeease? will you come with me?” and fuck, when she spoke so prettily, you couldn’t say no.

WHEN YOU GOT to the party, in a large penthouse in the city, you expected it to be pretty lame. maybe a couple people, but mostly standing awkwardly in the corner.

but, when you opened the door, you were quickly proven wrong. inside, you could hear some electronic song blaring. the lights were off and people scurried around, chattering and laughing. you were kind of overwhelmed.

thankfully, towa kept a tight grip on your hand as you made your way into the dense crowd. suddenly, a voice blared from behind you, making you flinch. “towaaaaa, you made it!”

turning around, you saw none other than reneé. she quickly pulled your girlfriend into a tight hug. “ya, i did!” towa replied, laughing. when their grip broke, reneé turned to you.

“hi y/n!” it was safe to say you two were friendly with each other, thanks to your girlfriend’s introduction. she, too, pulled you in for a quick hug.

after a couple seconds, you pulled away, her hands your shoulders. she patted them with a smile on her face before turning back to face towa. “come on, we’ll get you some drinks and i’ll show you around.” she beckoned you two to come to the kitchen.

that was the start of a disaster.

normally, you weren’t a huge drinker; maybe a glass of wine while eating out or hanging out with a friend. a glass of champagne if you were feeling particularly fancy. but, you never really indulged in alcohol any other time. this was an exception.

with a freshly poured cup of whatever fucked up jungle juice the host came up with, you walked through the party, getting used to the blaring music.

you took a sip out of your cup, the alcohol barely even hitting your tongue. “this tastes like something i’d drink in high school,” you yelled over the speakers to towa.

“maybe nobody likes the taste of alcohol,” she decided, taking a sip of her own drink. it seemed to taste fine to her. you decided not to dwell on it as reneé kept up her promise, showing you people you didn’t know.

talking turned into laughter, and before you knew it, a couple of girls were dragging you away from towa and towards some kind of beer pong. you barely even noticed, caught up in the festivities and fun.

it became much harder to notice when one shot turned to two, when two turned into three…

the lights started to grow brighter, the music starting to shake your skull. you swore you could feel your eyes throbbing.

one of the girls who dragged you there, georgia, seemed to notice when you stopped talking. “hey, are you okay?” she asked, a concerned expression on her face.

“ya…” you trailed off. really, you were the furthest thing from okay. all you wanted was to get out of this party and sleep. but you really didn’t wanna move. the slightest shift of your feet made your stomach turn.

georgia seemed to shrug it off and go back to the game, while you felt like you were sure to be hospitalized any moment.

you patted her on the shoulder. “i’m gonna go find my girlfriend,” you told her. she nodded and continued on with her drunk antics.

you tried to push your way through the crowd. people were laughing, dancing, smoking, whatever they wanted. all the sounds and scents weren’t helping you.

“towaaaaa,” you yelled out, hoping by some miracle she’d find you. a few people turned to look at you, but none with a mess of curly, black hair. you groaned and kept venturing through the crowd, calling out like a kid who lost their parents.

after a bit of looking around, you found yourself on the balcony. “towa?” you called again, your voice a pitch higher, you realized.

from the other side of the wrap-around balcony, towa finally emerged. she was holding the same cup she had at the start.

towa quickly came to stand in front of you. “y/n?” she wrapped her arms around your back. “are you okay? is something wrong?”

“my head hurts,” you whined. god, you really sounded like a kid now. “and i needa…throw up,” you said between hiccups.

she frowned, rubbing your back. “do you need to throw up right now?” you shook your head.

“not…yet, i don’t think.” she nodded understandably.

“do you wanna go? we can if you want.” you started to latch onto her shoulder.

“ya…but like, only if you wanna.”

“don’t worry about me, baby. let’s just get you to the hotel, alright?” you smiled and kept your arms wrapped around her. she chuckled. “if you wanna go, you gotta get off me.”

you begrudgingly detached from her body. she smiled and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “i’m gonna go say bye to reneé, then we’re outta here. deal?” you nodded, words seeming hard to find right now. she smiled and grabbed your hand, squeezing it.

THE RIDE HOME was mostly uneventful, spare the motion sickness from the road. thankfully, it wasn’t enough to make you actually throw up.

arriving at the hotel, towa paid the cab driver, grabbing one of your arms and hoisting it over her shoulders. she guided you to your room, opening the door.

immediatly, she guided you to your shared bed. your thighs hit the bedding and she sighed. “okay…i’m gonna go get stuff to take off your makeup.” you nodded in reply, falling fully on the bed as you heard her shoes click against the floor.

after a few seconds, she returned. she took the spot beside you, patting your thigh. “come on. this won’t take long.”

“but i don’t wannaaaa,” you drunkenly whined, your face in the covers.

“look. darling. if you don’t take your makeup off, you’re gonna feel gross tomorrow. plus, you’re gonna rub it alllll over the pillow and they’ll make us pay more to clean it. so just be compliant with me here, okay?”

you groaned, but sat up, squinting your eyes. “okay…” towa doused a cotton pad with makeup remover, then gently started to wipe your face. the process was almost soothing as you felt the cold pad on your cheek.

after a few more seconds, towa stood up and threw the pad away. she walked back to the bed, kneeling down to take off your shoes. she set them aside, beckoning you to lift your arms.

you did, letting her pull your shiny dress off your body. this was in the least sexual nature possible; she just wanted her girl to get comfy.

with a bit of help, she guided you into your sleep clothes before you were finally able to cuddle up in bed.

towa shut off the lights before cuddling up next to you. she draped her arm around you, holding you close to her. your skin was hot against hers. flushed for alcohol. “promise you’re not gonna throw up on me?” she asked light heartedly.

“i’ll try my best,” you replied with a soft snicker. she laughed in reply, kissing your head.

[kaufmann-6]

What are the batfamily's thoughts on Taylor Swift?

I think Bruce would dislike her the most but not because he thinks she's bad, but because his kids listen to her so much and people *cough* Dick *cough* talk about her incessantly that it's become annoying and if he hears Dick scream "Hey, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22!" at the top of his lungs one more time he's going to lash out.

Damian probably pretends he doesn't like her. I don't think he listens to Taylor, but after Dick forced him to listen to every single song on the Folklore album he's gained some respect for her writing, that album is really relatable, many songs talk about mental health and some other stuff I think Damian would relate to.

Jason, on the other hand, is the secret swiftie. He tells eveyone his favorite band is some rock or heavy metal one like ACDC (which he does like) but meanwhile he's listening to the Speak Now and Reputation albums on repeat.

Cass probably doesn't care about Taylor that much, but she laughs at Bruce's misery and listens to her songs if it means she can spend more time with her siblings and has something to talk about with them.

I think Tim has some very crazy musical taste. I can imagine him having zero playlists, he just hits shuffle on his library and goes for it. So he likes Taylor's songs, but probably wouldn't be able to name her. He's like "oh yeah I like that song, I have it saved on by library but I have no idea of who the singer/band of this one is".

Babs likes Taylor and she has no shame on admitting that. Dick is the one who turned her, obviously. I think she would sit on an armchair, curled up with a book and listen to Evermore as she reads.

Stephanie doesn't think Taylor is bad, but she probably doesn't like her as much as some of the other members of family do. Maybe she has like, five Taylor songs in her library that she (secretly, she didn't want him to know and freak out) saw Jason listen to that she couldn't deny were good, but she doesn't activelly listens to Taylor.

Alfred, well, he isn't a pop guy, but he obviously knows eveything that there is to know about Taylor because Dick is a millenial and he would spend hours talking about Taylor to Aflie when Bruce got tired of him.

He got curious one day and listened to some of her songs. They weren't his taste but he gets why Dick likes her.

I don't know much about Duke's personality to know for sure but I think he likes her, he probably has a pop playlist on his phone and Taylor is there along with other artists he likes. He’s a casual fan, doesn't know anything about her life but enjoys some of her music.

And finally the ultimate #1 Swiftie, Dick Grayson. He's obsessed with Taylor and has been listening her music since the vey beggining. Knows every song and the meaning behind them, knows everything about Taylor life and the drama stories and calls Taylor and Travis his parents, which makes Bruce extremelly ofended.

He bugs his entire family about the latest Taylor nation news, tells jokes like "I'm in my junk food era" and "you never get out of style, baby", tries to insert Taylor references in every conversations, would absolutely be that friend who would tell you to name your baby Rebekah or Marjorie and broke a coffee mug when he found out Jason liked Taylor, hugging him excitedly.

[rozzebun]

Who is Andre Boom Boom?: Explaining how and why he took over my life.

Since I moved accounts and became multifandom focused, I'd like to introduce everyone to the character who has been my main obsession for almost 4 years straight. He is my favorite character throughout everything I've ever been fixated on. He and the series he comes from have outlived all of my previous and ongoing fixations..

Ok so Andre Boom Boom is from the manga " Steel Ball Run. " He and his family appear as minor antagonists in chapter 15, " The Desert Born Outlaws "

I'd describe Andre's personality as being an aggressive, mean, overly confident little freak of nature who gets his ass taken out in the 2nd chapter and is inactive for the rest of the arc.. Those explosive traits combined with his complicated relationship with his family were EXACTLY what I needed to become entirely obsessed with him, and from that day forward, my attachment to him has been strong and unbreaking to the point it's starting to scare me help

I originally just thought he was very cute because of his markings and long dark hair... But after a re-read in 2021, something snapped in me and he took over. I became completely obsessed with him. I loved every single thing about him from his personality to design to his lore to his family and EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM .....

The lore and limited interactions I saw him have were enough to fuel me and my VERY detailed google doc of improvised lore + background information that I dream of turning into a comic or fanfiction one day ^_^ I'd love to get people familiar with my own personal headcanons + lore about his life and origins... Reminder these writings aren't only about him, they're about his whole family. An especially dear part of his lore I think of often is his mother, who I made a design for and created an entire background for from nothing since the only description about her given is the fact that she left her kids with Benjamin when they were very young... That's kinda what triggered all my inspiration. It really doesn't take much to inspire me lol

In 2022 I commissioned a large Plush of him for 200, and in December 2024 I purchased another smaller doll for 100 ^_^ I'm working on a harness to be able to hold my dolls like babies, but I'm sick currently so they've been home a lot ☹️☹️ I also have a lot of custom made merch including standees, keychains, photo albums, printed out pictures, and someday official merch!!! ^.^ I'm working on a shrine that'll be a showcase of all I've made of him over the years that I hope to expand for the foreseeable future 🐇🐇

Tldr:

I have an extremely intense attachment to Andre Boom Boom and love him as a son with all my heart... I've devoted a lot to him and want everyone to know just the TRUE extent of my attachment to him,,.,.

Our 4 year anniversary will be on July 21st ^.^ He truly means everything in this world to me... My attachment to him is the same as a mother's love for her baby, I would do anything for him and I'm SHAKING knowing that SBR being confirmed for an Anime means he'll be animated and talking soon.... My little angel will come home someday, and I'll be waiting with open arms when he does!!🩷🩷🩷

( Also yes I am the " Andrenation " account that keeps coming up when you search the Andre tag... I moved accounts but that has remnants of my old art + old shrine that I took down to redo )

[sutherlins]

“I want to write the road trip mentioned in the Christmas chapter, the proposal, getting a star, and the two of them living their cutest mentally well life lol”

I can’t wait to read all of these one day. I love your writings so much and your character study of Syd and Carmy. One of my favorite writers in the Ao3 tab!!!

P.s if you ever write about one of their pregnancies I think I’ll actually die. 🥹🥹

thank you so so much! I really appreciate that. this was such a kind message to wake up to and i wish i could accurately put into words how much i appreciate it. and i promise the road trip fic will happen one day lol!! and in reply to the ps: i wrote this tiny oneshot (dith sydcarmy) for @conceived-angel but never shared it... (Destiny's Child bc Angel broke my heart talking about Sydney and her mom and how some albums probably remind her of her mom so she listens to those albums when she needs her mom) (also check out Angel's fic 'you put a move on my heart' bc it's wonderful and i have insider information we may have chapter 3 of that coming to an ao3 near you very soon.)

Sydney was laying on the sofa when Carmy got home, the lights were all off and a Destiny’s Child playlist was filling the room, the beats quiet, volume down low. Dropping the bags on the kitchen counter he quickly made his way over to her, squatting down to be able to look at her, his hand stroking her cheek gently, moving her hair out of her face.

“You okay, Syd?”

“I feel so sick.” She murmured, not moving her head to look at him. Carmy knew it was because she was in danger of actually being sick if she did. She let herself lean into his touch so he kept his gentle movements up. “Nat said it might ease when I get into the second trimester.”

“Hey, you gotta be nice to your mom and stop making her so sick.” Carmy whispered to her stomach before placing the most gentle of kisses just above her belly button, making Sydney smile wide for the first time that morning.

“How was therapy?”

“Good.” Carmy said, pulling the blanket from the back of the sofa and covering Sydney with it. He then slid his hand into hers, twisting at her wedding band in a way that soothed them both as he spoke. “I realized that all my worries were about you being pregnant, the birth, about keeping you both safe. Wasn’t until Matt pointed out that I wasn’t worried about actually being a dad that I noticed.”

“You’re already so wonderful. You’ve done the work and our little bear is so lucky.”

“Best mom ever, luckiest baby in the world.” Carmy gave her a kiss, gentle, so as not to disturb her rest. “Swung by the store on the way home, you want some wild rice soup?”

“Oh. I would love it.” Sydney mumbled, the thought of the only dish she actively wanted at the moment making her happy. Slowly she sat up, keeping the blanket around her shoulders and sticking her hand out for him to help her off the sofa. With her head as steady as she could keep it she made her way to the breakfast bar of their kitchen so she could sit with him while he cooked.

Carmy poured her a glass of ginger ale, paired with a bowl of ice for her to chew on, another strange little craving pregnancy had brought with it.

“I love you.” He whispered, pressing a kiss into her temple and letting her lean against him a little while longer.

“Love you too.” She said, smiling up at him.

Carmy made his way back around into the kitchen, pulling out some celery - full, still on the stalk, the leaves curled - and stuck them in a vase.

“Flower scent was too strong for you right now, but I had to get you something for your vase.” He explained, watching her face, worried she might think it was stupid. Instead tears came, fast and hard. “I’m sorry, Syd.”

“Don’t be sorry.” She hiccuped out. “You're so sweet.”

“Why are you crying?” He asked, panicked.

“Ask your kid.” She managed to say, half laugh, half cry. “I also cried because Nat told me she loved me when she called earlier.”

“Nat always says that when she ends a phone call.”

“I know!” She laughed more, the tears easing off a little. “I’m going insane, Carmy.”

“Not insane, baby.” He said, handing her a tissue. “Just pregnant, you think the baby is going to be emotional?”

“They're a bear.”

“True, true.” He laughed. “I keep imaging her... like toddler aged, you know?"

"Yeah?" Sydney smiled, resting her head in her hand as she stared up at him. "What do you see?"

"Just us playing with her, she's got a big grin, big happy laugh, even bigger voice.”

“Oh yeah, this kid is gonna have a lot to say.”

“For sure. You imagine her too?”

“Sort of. I can see us, little baby in the bassinet all wrapped up. I think until we get the next scan my idea of them is going to keep jumping about. I just hope they are happy.”

“We will do our best to make sure they are.”

“Do you still think it’s a girl?” She asked, smiling as he refilled the drink she had gulped down already.

“I know she is.”

“How do you know?”

He shrugged as he washed the rice. “I just do, you think it’s a boy?”

“I don’t know.” She smiled. “I just hope by the time we get to the scan the morning sickness is gone because I want to go get lunch like we planned.”

“You hear that, kid? You’ve got one more week of making your mom sick.”

Sydney stared at him, his smile reaching his eyes while he started talking to her about the scan, about the one Nat told him about. It was 3-D and you get to see the baby so clearly but Sydney’s mind was wandering, thinking back to that tense night in The Bear, when they sat across from each other and promised to do better.

Thinking of how much they had both changed and grown together, since then they had won awards, The Bear had a star, they got married, and now, she was growing a little baby that was half her, half him, pure joy.

The tears started flowing again and Carmy halted his tasks to come back around, hugging her from behind, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “What caused the tears this time?” He asked with a smile.

“When I look into your eyes…” She said, turning to him, and he released his hold, pulling up another of their barstools and taking her hands, his fingers gently squeezing her to encourage her to keep going. “I just see how much you love us, and our baby will too.”

[butyou-callmewhenyourebored]

Ross MacDonald Imagine

Summary: In which you and your sweet husband Ross find out you're having a baby and tell the rest of the band.

Warnings: A few swear words, that's it.

Author's Note: A result of me not being able to finish my George piece, getting frustrated at my Matty piece and not finishing that too. This is just sweet fucking fluff and now I want a cute domestic family life with my sweet husband Ross and I'm going to cry over how that isn't my current life.

Before you read this. I've never been pregnant so there is no in depth writing about the intricacies of being pregnant. Mentions of food once. I googled if pregnant women could eat it, they can. Apart from that... Enjoy dilf Ross!

I don't know why I'm nervous to post this but enjoy!

Word Count: 4.1K Words

You met Ross MacDonald when you were eleven years old and starting Wilmslow high school before being the bassist in the Brit Award winning The 1975 was even a blip on his radar. You wouldn’t have called yourselves friends per say as you ran in different friend groups during your time at school but you knew he was friends with your neighbour Matty, so once they had decided to form a band, you saw him around a little more. Not that you were complaining as he was one half of the calm alongside Adam to the chaos that was Matthew and their newly acquired drummer George.

You liked him. He was sweet, well as sweet as a teenage boy could be and he always made you laugh whenever you saw him. Growing closer to his group of friends as you all started to become the age of house parties and underage drinking. You'd even made out with Adam during a drinking game once when you were sixteen, not that Matty ever let you forget. He loves to tease the three of youof that moment including Ross; that his missus had kissed Hann before him. Alight flush always dancing across Hann’s cheeks, usually as he shakes his head at the constant teasing you endure from Matty. Even when you’re in your sixties, you two were never going to live that down!

Then you went to university in Manchester; not far from home but far (and busy) enough that the only person you saw was Matty on the occasions you were home due to him being next door. Upon graduating; you moved to London with your newly appointed graduate job at the creative agency you had secured, a move that you swore you’d never do. You were a northern soul through and through but you stayed down there for five years before you moved back to the North.

By this time; the band had already released a string of EPs and were gearing up to release their debut album in the time you had started your own career. Chasing the dreams you always heard them talk about when you were kids and you felt a warmth of pride in your chest when you thought about the annoying kid next door who would make a racket in his garage with his mates becoming the successful band they always dreamed of becoming. You were so proud even if it had been years since you had seen them all together.

You wouldn’t get the chance to see them again properly until they came home in the autumn of 2015 before the release of their sophomore album.

You bumped into an old friend from high school in big Tesco not long after you had moved back to Cheshire and they invited you to a small get together they were holding that weekend. Just drinks, nothing crazy like the old days but it would be nice to catch up with everyone but the wink Josh sent your way as you were saying goodbye caused you you to think casual drinks would be the last thing that was going to happen.

When you had arrived at the party, the house was full of people you hadn’t seen in years. So definitely not casual drinks! You had just managed to push your way through to the kitchen when some one was yanking you backwards at full speed and throwing themselves at you at full force. A head of curls tickling the side of your face and a familiar aftershave he always wore invading your senses, you knew it was Matthew before you even saw his face. You manage to squeeze him back tightly before he pulled away from you grinning.

“Sweetheart! Ohhh how I’ve missed you!” He wailed dramatically.

“You don’t have time to miss me Mr Rockstar!” You had smirked at him; pulling him with you as you searched for a corkscrew for your wine.

“Of course I have!” He furrowed his eyebrows. “I was always fond of my pretty neighbour you know!” It was his turn to smirk as he leant against he counter, watching as you poured yourself a generous glass of wine.

“Yeah, whatever you say Healy!” You laughed; rolling your eyes at him teasingly.

“Hey! There’s something I want to show you!” Matty smiled brightly; taking your hand and pulling you through all your other old classmates until he came to an abrupt halt in another busy room. “Look who I’ve found!”

Matty stepped aside and that’s when you saw him properly for the first time since you were a teenager. Stood in the corner of the room, his conversation with George stopping when his eyes landed on you. The two of them beaming brightly before ascending on you for reacquaintance.

It was like time stood still and ohhh had time been good to Ross MacDonald. Standing at six foot four, dark hair styled to perfection and an impressive beard sat upon his handsome features. You couldn’t help but drink him in, he was simply divine not that you would ever tell him that. There was no way he would want you plus he probably had a girlfriend anyway, not a chance he didn’t have women lining up for him when he was as handsome as he was.

Turns out he thought the exact same when his eyes landed on you for the first time in years.

He let George hug you first; the bassist drinking in your features. You hadn’t changed a bit, your youthful looks still evident in the glow you emitted and probably more beautiful than he remembered. Finally reaching over to wrap his arms around you, Ross braved it and pressed a kiss to your cheek with a soft “You look beautiful darling.” Before standing up to full height next to George as you quickly fell into easy conversation.

You spent the next hour listening to all their tales of travelling the world, getting to play Glastonbury and how much they loved their fans and how they couldn’t believe they had fans all over the world. You could believe it. You’d never tell them but you secretly loved listening to them make all that noise as they were figuring out who they were during your youth. You couldn’t help but feel that warmth spread through you as you absorbed everything they were saying. Your noisy boys from next door had done all of this in the past two years. It was insane!

Within that hour Hann had appeared out of no where; very quietly in typical Adam fashion, greeted you with a warm hug and took Matty’s teasing like a champ before slinking off into the crowd with a promise of catching up properly when it was less noisy. George and Matty both quickly disappeared to smoke a joint at the back of Josh’s garden also in typical Matty and George fashion and then there were two.

After refilling your wine and grabbing another beer for himself, the pair of you slinked back to the corner you found him in. Where you stayed for the majority of the night; stood close with his hand on the small of your back as you leaned in close so you could hear one another. You were completely enamoured by your childhood friend; who had grown into this incredibly handsome, sweet and talented man who also seemed to not be able to draw his eyes away from you.

You exchanged numbers that night with promises of keeping in touch and in all honesty you weren’t expecting much to happen. The band weren’t home for very long and then they were going back to their very busy schedule; a tour to go on, an album to be released and you didn’t know when you’d see any of them next. You were expecting a text every few weeks, months if you were lucky from Ross or from any of them if you were being realistic. They weren’t going to have time for their old school friend.

Ross called you the morning after.

He called the very next morning and asked if you’d go for lunch with him.

You’ve been with him ever since.

You’ve loved him every day since.

You and Ross had been together just under six years and married for just under two when you found out. But it didn’t make it any less scary to the fact that you were going to bring another human into this world. The band were the biggest they’ve ever been, even with them being stuck at home due to a global pandemic but you were knew he was about to jet off again once the new album they were about to go and write was released. How were you going to look after a baby when the father of your child was on the other side of the world and you were left to figure it out as a single mother?

Sitting on the edge of the bathtub in your ensuite, you nervously played with your wedding rings as you waited for the timer to go off. Your husband downstairs, unaware that your lives might be about to change forever. You had been feeling a little under the weather the past week or so and had been nauseous the past couple of days, you didn’t even think to take a pregnancy test until your best friend had mentioned it, just to rule the possibility out.

The shrill beeping of the timer on your phone rang through your bathroom and had you snapping your head in the direction of where the test sat neatly next to your phone. You quickly turned it off. Taking a deep breath, you shakily reached for the test in front of you. Flipping it over in your hands before finally feeling brave; you turned it over, the breath you were unaware you had been holding making your whole body shudder as you let it go.

The words ‘8 weeks +’ glaring back at you.

A sob ripped through your chest, your vision immediately blurred thanks to the tears that were now rolling down your face. You and Ross were going to have a baby. You were going to have a child with your sweet husband who was down stairs cooking you chicken noodle soup because he thought you’d caught a stomach bug. The image of him downstairs innocently making you lunch, a tea towel slung over his shoulder and humming to himself had you sobbing even more. God you loved him so much.

After another five minutes of staring at the positive test, you managed to pull yourself together enough to make your way downstairs and see your husband. As imagined, you were greeted with his back to you, hunched over the stove with a tea towel flung over his shoulder as predicted and his ever growing hair falling in front of his eyes as he tested the soup.

“Baby?” You spoke softly.

Ross glanced quickly over his shoulder at the sound of your voice, a soft smile on his face as he took in your appearance. Joggers and a hoodie you had stolen from him many moons ago, before you were married, that you had claimed as your own and never returned to him. They looked better on you anyway.

“Baby. I’m not sick.”

“You’re feeling better?” He stood up taller; switching the hob off, reaching for you as you shook your head before nervously holding out the test.

Ross’s eyes flitted towards the test in your hand and back to your face and back again before taking it from you slowly. You watched his Adam’s apple bob as he eyed the ‘8 weeks +’ that was staring him straight in the face. God, did he even want kids right now? Your anxiety was starting to bubble away in your chest, an impending panic attack on the horizon the longer he didn’t say anything but in hindsight it was probably only ten seconds before his large frame came crashing into you, pulling you tightly into his chest.

Soft “I love you. I love you. I love you”s were chanted against the shell of your ear before he took your face in his hands and kissing you so deeply you felt your knees buckle underneath you; the only reason you were still standing being Ross was physically holding you up.

“We’re going to have a baby.” Ross’s voice soft as he held your face in his hands, looking at you like you hung the moon and the stars. Your teary eyes looked up at him, nodding before you were kissing him just like you did after your first date. With everything in you.

This was your person. Your man. Your lobster. He was it for you and you had magically created life with him. You didn’t realise you could love him anymore until you found out you were going to bring the most perfect little human into the world and you knew they would be perfect because they were half of your darling Ross.

Immediately booking an appointment with the midwife as soon as you could, you both just as quickly jumped into planning mode. Ordering books online, thinking of how you could reconfigure your spare bedroom into a nursery, colour palettes for said nursery, making lists of everything that were good and bad for the baby. You and your husband couldn’t think of anything else apart from the baby you had just discovered was in your tummy.

At your appointment; Ross held your hand tightly, repeatedly pressing kisses to your knuckles whilst the doctors ran tests and confirmed that you were further along than you both expected and that you’d be actually entering your second trimester in just under two weeks. Your eyes found your husbands instantly when they told you this information, his eyes already on yours and a knowing smirk making its way on to both of your faces when you realised.

Your little New Year’s baby.

Drunk on love and all the alcohol Matty had provided at his house to ring in the new year with you and his other nearest and dearest, you remember fucking in Matty’s bathroom way before midnight. Not for any particular reason other than you were insatiable around your husband, that and he looked so fucking good in the shirt he was wearing you couldn’t wait until you got home and then he fucked you into the early hours of the New Year once you got home and again when you woke up, reminding you just how much he loved you.

You weren’t exactly trying for a baby but you weren’t exactly safe all the time. But you had known Ross half of your life at this point and you had been with him for six. You trusted him with your life. If you were going to start a family with anyone on the planet, you wouldn’t want it to be with anyone else but the man who was holding your hand and holding back tears as he listened to the doctor. Now the reality of it had settled into your home, you discussed how you were going to tell the rest of the boys. Settling on the dinner party the Hann’s had organised for next week to celebrate Matty’s upcoming birthday as the base for said pregnancy reveal. You just had to figure out how you were going to do it now.

When the day finally arrived to see your friends; you couldn’t contain the cocktail of emotions that ran through you the entire day as you milled about the house, the excitement that you get to share the news with your best friends. The anxiety in the car on the way over to Adam and Carly’s; Ross’ hand laying across your thigh as you drove, how would the others react? Would they be happy for you? The nerves as Ross squeezed your hand reassuringly as you both waited to be greeted by the Hann’s; would the band hate you because you would now be his number one priority?

If you asked Ross, you had always been his first priority but the nerves evaporated the moment the door swung open and you were greeted by Adam and Carly who were beaming at the sight of you.

Stepping into their home; you exchanged greetings and allowed the guitarist to pull you into a sweet hug and press a kiss to your cheek before pulling back to look at your properly. He studied you for a moment but didn’t do much but flit his eyes towards Ross who had just finished saying hello and hugging his own wife before turning back to you and smiling.

“It’s lovely to see you darling. You’re glowing!”

You felt a soft blush creep across your cheeks at the compliment before allowing your husband to pull you into the living room where the troublesome twosome were giggling over something on George’s phone when they spotted you. Both of them whipping their heads up at the sight of you both, Matty immediately beamed at you before he jumped over George’s feet to get to you.

“Pretty girl! It’s been so long! How are you darling?! That husband of yours treating you right?” He smirked; pulling you into his arms.

“Yeah! He does alright!” You chuckled; returning his affection before the six of you made your way into the dining room ready for whatever amazing food the Hann’s had cooked up for you.

Your husband pulled your chair out for you just like he always did; he is and always had been the perfect gentleman, kissing his cheek in appreciation you tucked yourself in as he took his place next to you. George next to you on the end, Matty opposite you, leaving the Hann’s in between the lead singer and the bassist when they returned from the kitchen.

Politely declining the wine Matty was offering; which didn’t go unnoticed quietly by the singer. You were always his partner in crime when it came to devouring a bottle(s) of wine when you were together. Claiming that you were driving and you could feel a migraine on the horizon, Matty nodded sympathetically knowing more than anyone that he hated having to socialise when he had an headache and luckily he let it go.

You let out the breath you didn’t know you had been holding, rubbing your sweaty palm against the fabric of your dress, your heart beat calming as soon as Ross’ hand slipped into your own and bringing it to rest in his lap just as Adam and Carly started bringing out dinner plates. Thanking Adam as he placed yours in front of you; a happy sigh left you as the aroma filled your nose, immediately grinning up at the guitarist when you clocked he had made one of your favourite things. Truffle risotto.

As you all prepared to tuck into your food; a round of cheers echoed around the dining room as you wished Matty a happy birthday before digging in to your dinner. A moan of satisfaction arising from next to you; George groaning as he waved his spoon about for dramatic effect.

“Fuck! You might have even out cooked Honey and she’s basically Gordon fucking Ramsey!” George exclaimed; before turning to you. “This is good shit! Sorry Honey!”

You just shrugged. “Meh I’ll let you off Daniels but only cause this is fucking divine! This music thing ever goes tits up for you, you’ll come be my personal chef right Ads?!” Sending everyone into a fit of giggles as Adam blushed at your compliment.

As the night moved on to desserts and more wine (not for yourself of course) and a birthday cake for Matty. You couldn’t help the bright smile on your face as a blush of embarrassment flushed across Matty’s cheeks as you all sang Happy Birthday to him horrendously badly. The way he hid beneath his hands as you cheered loudly sent a rush of endorphins through you.

Then Adam and Carly stood up.

Your eyebrows furrowed; wondering they were stood there in what seemed to be a nervous manner. Their behaviour so unlike the usual calm and peaceful energy that they bring to the group.

“Ehhh…” Adam coughed. “We’ve got something to tell you all.”

There was a beat before Carly spoke.

“We’re having a baby!”

You head snapped towards your husband. Ross doing the same and finding your eyes immediately. Eyes swimming with emotion; yours threatening to spill as your heart rate picked up as you sat speechless, as the noise of Matty and George congratulating the couple surrounded you. Standing quickly; you manoeuvred yourself past your husband to hug your friends tightly. Whispering your congratulations to Carly before turning to grab Hann and pull him into the biggest embrace you could muster before rushing to Ross’ side again.

Your best friends were having a baby.

Your little bubba was going to get their own best friend.

Turning to your husband. You both knew.

The time was now.

“Right. Present time!” You announced.

“We said no presents pretty girl!” Matty groaned.

Rolling your eyes, you reached down the side of your chair to grab the gift bag, handing it over the table to you best friend. Hoping what was inside would override his annoyance of you ‘ignoring his stupid no gift rule’ knowing full well that it would especially knowing you were going to ask him a special question once the baby was born. Also when have you ever listened to Matty in your life!

“Open the card first!” You told him; almost giddy with nerves.

Ross intertwined his fingers with your own whilst Matty rolled his eyes, muttering something along the lines of “Yeah, alright bossy boots!” As he tore open the envelope. Your heart race increasing ten fold, you bit your lip knowing that in two seconds your friends were about to know your little secret.

“Read it out loud mate. Spent ages writing the perfect message for ya!” Ross chirped up, a smirk etched across his handsome face.

“Okay?” Matty quipped, pulling a face at his mate before opening the card.

“Happy Birthday Uncle Matty…” Matty’s head whipped up; his eyes meeting your own, which were already brimming with tears. Nodding in confirmation. Matty’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he choked on his own words. “I can’t wait to meet you. Lots of love. Baby MacDonald.”

Little noises of shock erupted around the dinner table; the biggest gasp coming from Carly who had matching tears streaming down her face when your eyes found hers. Immediately being pulled from your silent telepathic connection with her; you found yourself in George’s long arms, a kiss pressed firmly to the crown of your head, passing on his congratulations before you were yanked out of his grip and coming face to face Matthew.

Your curly haired best friend looked at you softly, his big brown eyes brimmed with tears as he took you by the shoulders. “You’re having a baby?” He whispered.

“I am.”

“You’re having a baby with Ross?!” Matty choked out a laugh.

“I am.” You giggled; taking his hands in your own.

“I’m going to be an Uncle?”

“You’re going to be the best Uncle!” You beamed.

Matty threw his arms around your neck, the sob that was brewing in his chest now out in full force as he cried into your neck as he profusely congratulated you amongst all the ‘thank yous’ for the best birthday gift he’s ever gotten before he spun in the direction of the Hann’s who were wrapped up in each other watching your interaction unfold as George hugged your husband.

Matty stepped towards Ross before and hugging him profusely before turning to Adam and Carly. Making your way back towards your husband and stepping under Ross’ arm, you watched as Matty cried in Adam’s arms. You felt an overwhelming sense of warmth as you listened to George and Ross talk about the baby... sorry babies and how excited he was that your little family were getting to new members. How excited he was to get a new bestie when Matty called out the need for celebration and called for the boys to have a drink.

Adam hugged you on his way to the kitchen. Soft whispers of “Congratulations. You’re kid is going to be the luckiest with you two as parents. You’re going to be the best mam darling!”  He kissed your cheek sweetly before being dragged away by Matty to do whatever the hell he was planning. Calls of “Wetting the babies’ heads!” as he bounced around the kitchen.

Making your way over to Carly; you wrapped her up in your arms, the two of you just holding each other for a tender moment before falling into quiet conversation. Smiles that never left either of your faces. You were both going to have babies with your sweet, talented husbands and any sense of doubt or fear you had seemed to shrink away. Your worrying mind settling knowing that you had Carly by your side as you watched the four boys cheers in the kitchen.

Your heart thumping in your chest as you watched Adam and Ross hug each other tightly, speaking closely with one another before they both cast their eyes in your direction, their eyes lighting up and their smiles bright at the sight of their girls. Yeah. You were going to be just fine.

[sunstream7]

Its my blog I can assign XOD jerks Los Campesinos songs if I want to

This one is a long read and purely self indulgent lmao

Everett is she crows (documented minor emotional breakdown #4)

‘She crows "You want my happiness, but on your terms",

 ‘Swapping drinks tickets for all these indiscreet snippets Of how it feels to truly be adored’

 ‘Writing sleeper hits for all these weeping dip shits Turning tricks for cheap kicks where I can’

‘She told her friends she'd got with me, she lied it drunkenly I'm only angry 'cause I wish she had’

Everett is THE romantic longing/devastation of the Whole Damn Body album- it's a sort of angry/upset one, a lot of failed relationships and British sports allegories that I don't understand because I am a) a filthy American, and b) not versed in balls. and sex euphemisms. so I'd say it's pretty solid for him.

About She Crows specifically, it focuses on lacking meaningful relationships and hopping from person to person to fill that void- the regret and anger about things that were never real in the first place (eve and pran don't @ me, I'm right) and there's a joke about killing an ex boyfriend, which I think is a little funny.

Nate is Romance is Boring

As much as I love this boy. there is not a single 'got so horny about my ex girlfriend that i puked' stored in him. Initially I was tempted with Avocado, baby because obligatory emotional issues joke (and because the song ABSOLUTLEY fucks.) Having said that. someone needed the quintessential 'emotionally unavailable and struggling' song.

We are two ships that pass in the night. You and I, we are nothing alike. I am a pleasure cruise, you are gone out to trawl. Return nets empty, nothing at all

But my strength's within lies, ventricle cauterized. It's the way of living that I espouse

Sure, there are things I could do if I was half-prepared to prove to each other that romance is boring

Take your diffidence, make it my clubhouse

Yeaaahhh it's about a failing relationship because neither party can bring themselves to either

a) care enough to take the risk to fix it, against your reservations about commitment

b) show a single ounce of emotionality that would be able salvage a stagnation that has made the romance boring (there.)

I'm not taking the 'lack of effort' angle (if you've played his route, which. there's only half a dozen people that are reading this and I know you have) so he clearly tries- this is coming from the. emotionally stunted to the point it becomes damaging angle. The way he would jump straight to breaking up instead of actually yknow. maybe talking about a problem. Love him

Shiloh. oh Shiloh. c is the heavenly option

not a lc! song but they covered it like a decade ago and so close enough i say.

‘Don't play games if you're broken-hearted Don't try to finish what you ain't got started And if you've got problems Then don't bring them to me’

'My girlfriend's getting sick of me Should I (A) Change your personality Should I (B) Put her love to the test Or should I (C) Kiss her till she's obsessed.'

'Your girlfriend fancies your best friend Should you (A) Stick around with them Should you (B) Tell them "That's just fine" Or should you (C) Kiss her till she's mine.'

‘If you're an (A) you will see You'll get chucked and end up unhappy If you're a (B) you will find That's cool but hey don't be so unkind And if you're a (C), you'll end up like me And love with bowl you over If you're a (C), you'll end up like me'

'The smile that I put on to mask a face that's more than nervous Is never hard when I recall that I just don't deserve this Don't think my heart ain't quaking, shaking, breaking open but it's What I must do If I want you’

*cracks knuckles* you mean the song about sucking it the fuck up and doing anything to keep your partner exists and I WASN'T supposed to relate it to Shiloh?! 'what I must do, If I want you?!' 'the smile that i put on to mask a face that's more than nervous?!' I know we've all seen how exhausted his 'anything for you's get as the game progresses, and how Mr. ass-kisser himself will do literally anything if it means getting the girl, even if it is not entirely in his best interest in terms of self respect.

so yes very Shiloh of it.

Bae- a footnote in why he had me ripping my hair out

This bitch boy is the least lc!able of any of them, because he doesn't have the ‘killing your girlfriends ex boyfriend' and 'lamenting your failed relationships while drunk' and 'damn the system' and 'cannot hold a stable relationship' vibes that the rest do. They also all fall into two categories. 'so horny i lost brain function' or 'I'm going to kms' often both at the same time!. So. Suffering.

I was kind of thinking Moonstruck, Letters from me to Charlotte, or I love you but you're boring, or even Little Mouth

There's no consensus here!

Bae Pyoun I love you. but this is the reason my essay has been delayed for weeks.

an achievement in of itself.

Instead of any specific song, I've collected lyrics from a few different ones that I feel are passable.

And this sentimental movie marathon has taught us one thing. It's the opposite of true love is as follows: Reality (We Are All Accelerated Readers)

Birds are singing in the trees, As we rise up in a beautiful morning. But I can't hear that beautiful sound, because I'm permanently yawning (I love you but you're boring)

It's hard to find the romance in a town not known for sunsets (Moonstruck)

I am moonstruck, it's a welcome fate (Moonstruck as well)

Most of these are attempting to build on either godawful relationships, or being very enamored and in a godawful relationship. unsurprisingly, there is seldom happy romance in a los campesinos song. it is not a place you bring a lover to. I tried to lean into his inability to take anything seriously even though it directly contradicts his longing for a serious relationship

Pran- Miserabilia

‘I'm not saying there's good in none of this Miserabilia to show the kids I'm not saying that you're responsible, Miserabilia for one, for all’

We got nostalgic, ended up filling shoe boxes with vomit, collected scabs in lockets, hung them 'round our necks like nooses

‘Your hands will remain empty When you have stopped clutching at straws Cling to bad memories, forget all the insufferable bores No one matters (no one matters) No one cares’

‘Shout at the world, because the world doesn't love you Lower yourself, because you know that you'll have to’

‘He whispered, "Oh my God this really is a joy to behold" Thought he said, "It's joy to be held" So I held him too close It was a grave mistake He never came back again’

It's pretty obvious that 'Miserabilia' is a play on 'memorabilia' so that's not news, but the behavior of clinging onto the worst of the worst- scabs in lockets that choke, and bad memories, and shoeboxes of sick just means that the worst will always be with you, which bleeds into the despair of none of it having a true impact in the long run, and it was just awful with no real outcome. Our (debatably) favorite brick wall has that lovely 'everything is horrible' outlook on life (rightfully so. that's a different essay though) That trickles down into everything- almost every single one of his mannerisms can be traced back to loosely hinted at childhood neglect and difficult familial relationships

footnote- The whole sick scenes album (specifically the fall of home)

Last but not least. Jeremy: In medias res!!

‘If you were given the option Of dying painlessly in peace at 45 With a lover at your side After a full and happy life, Is this something that would interest you? Would this interest you at all?’

'I'm leaving my body to science Not medical, but physics Drag my corpse through the airport And lay me limp on the left wing’

‘Drop me at the highest point And trace a line around the dent I leave in the ground That'll be the initial of the one you'll marry Now that I'm not around’

All's well that ends

'In Medias Res' means 'into the middle of a narrative' And in this songs case, that narrative is very clearly not happy. The whole of the RiB album is steeped depression and apathy and that same inability to care about anything meaningful present in- you guessed it- Romance is Boring. 'All's well that ends' was the line specifically that sold me. (one of) Jeremy's main conflicts is the fact that none of it can be over with fast enough, and dropping the 'well' of the usual 'all's well that ends well' just drives that home; that for him, as soon as it's over, that's as good as it will be.

[joosthead]

Wow. That was... I think I have a new favorite.

My favorite part is Joosti giving commentary the whole time!!!! He's such a funny dude. I would be dying laughing the whole time. Plus it eases the tension. (If you are not laughing during sex is it even good sex??)

THE BICKERING!!!! I love the bickering so much. So teasing but also full of love. They really met each other's match and matched each other's freak. I wanna see their hard to get phase so bad after reading this.

Reader is messing with him and giving him such a challenge and he's so done with it. Then immediately getting upset at the thought of actually pissing him off!?!?! Awww she cares so much. (Also this is me any time I make a joke that is the slightest bit teasing or mean. Asking "are you mad at me" .5 seconds after the words leave my mouth and panicking for hours after)

Her lips and her name tattooed on his neck!!!! You are a genius!!!!

The vibrator is his mortal enemy. 🤣 I'm sure Reader feels the same way about the things he probably uses while on tour.

Also the slight breeding kink 👀👀👀👀 HELLO!!!!! 🥴

Poor Tantu 😂. Bro just saw his name and clicked play. Him and Ruby definitely know wayyyy to much about Reader and Joosti's sex life and all of it against their will. I would never me able to look at Tantu again after he heard that.

100/100 as always from you!!! Can't wait for the next installment in the normal au saga, but I'm also excited about virgin fic 👀. (Also part 3 of my normal au thoughts are in your inbox. No rush at all 😉. I loved the other 2 responses btw and I'm already writing more) - family anon

HEWWO FAMILY ANON MY BELOVED (i saw your part 3 and i cant wait to respond to it !!! life got so busy and overstim was draining my soul but im FREE NOW!!! YIPYIP)

slightly explicit rpf ahead, 18+ only, anti rpf dni

the commentary is so on purpose to help reader feel more relaxed about it all :''') they are nothing without being so silly he loves them so much... pulling out all the stops for his baby fr!!!

YESSSS i was so happy to explore how combative they are with each other in their normal dynamic (when its not jtsfaoi touch tank summer song emotional LOL) like this is who they are 24/7!! they are soulmates in every aspect of life and they realy do match each others freak so much....

THEY DO CARE SO MUCH cuz liike they were just doing this for fun and now all of a sudden he's being kinda mean and he definitely has good reason to be mean so :(( they love teasing so much and it's never that serious but he's liteally beein working himself to the bone for the album lol just say his name ... reader absolutely can dish it but cant take it (sometimes LOL)

there are so many reader related tattoos but that's my favorite one teehee <3 gotta let everyone know who owns him

it's his mortal enemy because he just uses his hand while he's away LOL like why cant you just use your hand???? but after trying it out,,,, he understands... he still hates it tho

SLIGHT BREEDING KINK !!! LEAD UP TO LAURENS IN 4 MONTHS! HASSKDFJKSD OOPSIE

poor ruby and tantu... ruby is really chill about it but tantu is distraught sometimes cuz wow these two are real freaks real eaters for each other... tantu and ruby defiitely are too but reader and joosti are certainly the more chaotic ones

VIRGIN FIC VIRGIN FIC VIRGIN FIC!! after it is hopefully a fic i can push out for valentines day?? or virgin fic will be the valentines day fic/? but after those two normal au will have another prequel installment :))

i love seeing you in my inbox family anon !!! kisses for you <333333 HEHE