#incorrect quots

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

Cyclone:...Lieutenant, I'm looking at this form you filled out... Rooster: Yes, sir? Cyclone: And under "Talents and Attributes" you wrote "My Taste in Men". Rooster: Yes, sir. Cyclone:...Why? Rooster:...I lost a bet to Hangman, sir. Hangman(out in the hall): YEAH YA DID Cyclone:...Well, the funny thing is, that we have this same form written up by by Admiral Kazansky back in 1987, and it says the same thing. Maverick(out in the hall): YEAH IT DOES Cyclone:......They're high-fiving out there, aren't they? Rooster: They're totally high-fiving, sir.

[in-love-with-remus-lupin]

Remus : I'm not in love with her

Sirius : ...

Remus : I just miss her when she’s not around, I think about her all the time, and I imagine us one day running towards each other in slow motion through a field of flowers.

Sirius : *sighs

[incorrect-guilty-gear]

A.B.A: If we’re in trouble, just throw Paracelsus at the problem, and hope for the best.

[jakascoo]

Bruce: Hey Jim, I’ve got an idea for how to solve this. Jim, pulling out a shotgun: Yeah? Bruce: Wh- No! That’s not the idea, Jim!

[tf2incorrectquotes]

[shortbcofkoffee]

Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?

Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.

Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.

Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.

Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.

Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.

Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.

-

Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?

Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.

[demonicsuffrage]

Bruce has a strict 'no metas/powers (except duke) allowed in Gotham' policy in place but it has a clause, BYOR (Bring Your Own Robin)

No one is allowed entry untill and unless they can produce their very own certified robin-shaped identity card

Whenever someone with even a hint of supernatural powers in them arrives at Gotham, they're first met with Bruce standing at the city border with a notepad in hand

Bruce: State your name and purpose.

Kon: Kon-el, here to hangout!

Bruce: Your Robin?

Kon, flourishing Tim from behind him: Ta-Da!

Tim, waves: Hey Bruce

Bruce: Approved, you may enter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Name and purpose?

Hal: Here to investigate a case, Hal Jordan

Bruce: Your Robin?

Hal: I.... don't have one?

Bruce: Denied

Hal: What?! But-

Bruce: Denied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Yes, Wally, where's your robin?

Wally: Oh shit lemme just- *zaps away and returns with Dick, who was in the midst of brushing his teeth, in a bridal carry*- Here!

Bruce, grumbling a little: Fine. Approved.

Dick: You gotta stop using me as a key already, man

Wally: Blame Bruce.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Name and purpose?

Clark: Clark Kent, here for our monthly barbecue

Bruce: Robin?

Clark, producing an actual robin bird: Does this count?

Bruce:.....yes

[lovesick-joey]

the people wanted more youtube worldbuilding ^^

one | three

[existennialmemes]

Musk: [calling Grimes at 3 in the morning] Tell them. Tell them I'm good at video games and I will give you sixty million dollars

Grimes:

Musk: or I detonate the chip in the baby's neck

Grimes: [long exhalation] seventy million

I had to take this screenshot myself because I was so convinced it wasn't real

[batcavescolony]

Odysseus: I am different, I am no longer the man you married, it's been 20 long years but if you could just fall in love with me again?

Penelope: if you can do something for me

Odysseus: anything

Penelope: move my wedding bed.

Odysseus: I can't, it's made out of a living tree, to move it I would have to destroy it. How can yo-

Penelope: oh, I thought we were asking each other stupid questions?

Odysseus:

Penelope: 'FaLl iN lOvE wItH mE aGaiN' to do that I would have had to stop loving you.

[yoongisgayvanz]

i make myself laugh

[demiboydemon]

[abcdfghjklmpqrobin]

Damian becoming the Doctor of the family, treating the Bats when they're injured, and taking care of them... But doing so in the most evil unhinged ways possible.

Damian, injecting something into Bruce's arm: I'll give you an anesthetic but you are in no condition to fight, Father. You'll be on bed rest until I clear you.

Bruce, already standing up, no fucks given: Thanks, Damian. But I really need to catch these people, they are– They–

Bruce: *Begins to stumble in place* They– y-you–

Damian:

Bruce, falling to the ground: W-what did you–?

*Evil boss music starts playing in the background*

Damian, slowly approaching: Oh, sorry, did I said I would give you anesthetic? I meant to say a paralyzing agent.

Bruce:

Damian: Don't worry, Father, Black Bat will take care of the case...

Damian, carrying Bruce back to bed:And you, as I said, will be on bed rest until I clear you.

*Evil music intensifies*

*After training*

Damian: I made limonade.

Dick, reaching for a glass: Thanks, Dam—

Damian: Not that one. That one is Drake's.

Dick: Oh–

Damian, handing Dick a glass: This one is yours.

Dick: Oh.

Damian:

Dick:

Dick: Did you- Did you put something in Tim's?

Damian:

Dick:... Did you put something in mine?

Damian:

Dick:What did you p–

Damian: Drink it, Grayson. It's good for you.

[tf2incorrectquotes]

[confused-wanderer]

Nightwing: I wish I was an only child again..

Red Hood: and I wish I was dead again..

Nightwing *looks at him*

Red Hood *preparing to be scolded*

Nightwing:

Red hood:

Nightwing:

Nightwing *quietly*: damn never mind forgot I had more siblings *walks away*

Red Hood:

Red Hood: Was he- were you actually considering killing me-