#incorrect rid

[transfrmrs]

Windblade: Starscream, the only reason Wheeljack keeps kissing you is because it's the only way to get you to shut up

[cod-dump]

Laswell: No one consented to endure your fatherless attitude

Price: Well, there's no one to tattle to so you're going to have to deal with it

Laswell:

Laswell: *picks up her phone*

Price: ... Kate please don't-

[plateofpie]

Du hast es nicht vergessen, oder?

[everwalldigan]

I think we can all agree that Clark “living on a reporters salary” Kent would use 13-in-1 shampoo for all its uses.

The first time Bruce sees it in his apartment he nearly cries

Bruce: Clark. What the fuck is that.

Clark: Aren’t humans so innovative :D? Instead of buying 13 different products for one individual use, they created one product for 13! And I thought kryptonian technology was advanced.

Bruce: Clark- Clark please tell me you haven’t been using this as Gatorade

Clark: it’s actually quite refreshing! I prefer it mixed with a little water, do you want me to make you a glass?

Bruce, fanning himself with a bundle of money: No! I mean, uh, no thank you Clark, I’m. I’m good

[loganslowdown4]

if the sides tweeted each other— 🚪

[gardentool]

Y/N: The food's too hot, I can't eat it.

Sukuna: You're too hot and I still eat you.

Y/N: …

Sukuna: …

Yuji: …

Yuji: *slams knife and fork down* ONE DINNER!! I JUST WANTED ONE. DINNER.

[autism-autobot]

Bumblebee: *went 78 hours without sleep or any semblance of rest*

Bumblebee: *downs his third energy drink of the day*

Bumblebee: "You know, I always thought that Optimus would make more sense as I got older...*

Bumblebee: *cracks opens another energy drink and starts chugging*

Bumblebee: *slams empty can on table* "But somehow RATCHET is the one who makes more sense now!*

[sarnai4]

(Odysseus is jetpacking back to Ithaca, then senses someone behind him and glances. Sees no one. Does this for the next several hours. On the 50th time, he sees someone.)

Ares (gives an excited wave and thumbs up)

Odysseus (gives a confused wave in return)

(Odysseus keeps flying, but he can't shake the tagging along immortal)

Odysseus: Umm, what are you waiting for?

Ares: I don't know. Something amazing, I guess.

[tanked-up]

—————

Soap: Pft, and he said he didn’t want a dog

Gaz: I think he likes it more than he likes you

Soap: …

Soap: On the other hand-

[acotarmemes]

acotar incorrect quotes // siblings

rhys, 8 years old: hello, is this rhysand's mother? rhys' mom: rhys? honey, is that you? rhys: no, this is the Illyrian day camp. you do not need to come collect cassian and azriel. they are having too much fun here they will live here forever now, thank you. only collect rhysand. rhys' mom: nice try, darling. i'll be picking the THREE of you up tonight at five.

[transfrmrs]

Ratchet: Did you have to stab him? Drift: You weren’t there, you didn’t hear what he said to me. Ratchet: What’d he say? Drift: “What’re you gonna do, stab me?” Ratchet: Ratchet: Fair

[emolionsrawr]

buck: *slams his phone down on the table*

bobby: what's wrong kiddo?

buck: well chris' favourite animal at the moment is penguins and i was googling penguin facts so i could tell him about them when me and tommy take him to the zoo on saturday

bobby: and that made you slam your phone?

buck: well as i was googling penguin facts i found a picture of their mouths... bobby they have teeth going all the way down their throat, well actually it's not teeth like we have them they're backward facing flesh spines that help guide the fish down

bobby:... what the heck?

buck: yep! it looks terrifying! but a fun fact i did find was did you know the earliest penguin fossil was found in 61.6 million year old antartic rock! about 4-5 million years after the mass extinction of the dinosaurs waimanu manneringi stood upright and waddled like modern day penguins, but was more likely in the water, some fossil penguins were much larger than any living penguin today, reaching 4.5 feet tall!

bobby: oh wow, i think chris is gonna love that fact kid

buck: they also release air bubbles from their feathers which cuts the drag on their bodies, allowing them to double, and triple their swimming speed and quickly launch into the air

bobby: that's amazing buck, what else did you learn?

buck: well-

*alarm rings*

buck: damn it, tell you in the engine dad! *runs to the engine*

bobby:

bobby: did he just-

eddie: yeah, he did

bobby: *tears up*

[imaginative-reblogs]

Shallan: Okay. Hand me your hairdryer.

Kaladin: What?

Shallan: Yeah? All Alethi guys carry a hairdryer!

Kaladin: Have you actually MET an Alethi man?

Shallan: Adolin? Do you have a hairdryer?

Adolin: Of course, I'm not an animal...

[mythological-mayhem]

Zeus: Nothing in life is free.

Aphrodite: Love is free.

Apollo: Adventure is free.

Hermes: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

[notcreative360]

Levi: Oh yeah, then you should totally come by my room!

Mammon: Hey, I wanna be included!

Levi: Oh, well we are going to watch a horror movie..

Mammon: Actually I forgot I got this thing going..

Levi: Lmao byeee.

[fazedlight]

Kara: I mean, think about it, you're the face that launched a thousand Daxamite ships...

Lena: If I'm Helen of Troy, does that make Rhea... Paris? Does she even swing that way?

Kara: Who wouldn't swing that way

Lena: What?

Kara: What?