#incorrect tag

[brian-kinney-apologist]

I had to do this guys

[thebat-musicman]

*phone call*

Jason; I’m sorry, Talia. I can’t kill Bruce.

Talia: You asked me yesterday if I could “break Bruce out of the afterlife so I can kill him over and over.��

Jason: Yeah…that would have been fun. But he’s given me an offer I can’t refuse.

Talia: He killed the clown?

Jason: He gave me a first edition Pride and Prejudice book. It says by a lady instead of Jane Austen.

Talia: You are sacrificing months of training and planning for a book?

Jason: I’m weak, Talia. I’m weak.

[ashenquill]

[Tim and Jason watching Dick as he fakes his death for a mission]

Tim: Man, he really is peak pretty boy

Jason: Right? Like, stop serving while you’re dying. It’s disrespectful.

Tim: For real, like, at least YOU had your priorities straight.

Jason: Exactly, I—

Jason:

Jason: Now hold up just a second—

Tim: I mean, you looked like shit when you died

Jason: THE FUCK, TIM????

[sleeplesssoporific]

I would love to know what MDZS was like from Wen Ning's pov.....

[krysmcscience]

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

[bruciemilf]

There’s something pretty funny about Bruce being JL’s emergency fake boyfriend. It all starts with Hal, because all wonderfully chaotic things do.

Hal: My dad’s having a BBQ with his insufferable pilot friends and they're all ‘quiet about politics’. I need you to pretend we've been married for 10 years.

Bruce: 😐

—

Clark: So I kind of told my parents I've been dating you after they asked me ‘what kind of friends are you’, and I said ‘the kind that kiss and hold hands’ because I panicked

Bruce:

Clark: I'm so sorry but please, please come to dinner this Sunday. I’ll tell them you broke up with me later!

Bruce: I don't want to break up with you.

Clark: REALLY?! I MEAN— Really! I can do the break up, no problem. Not that I WANT to break up with you. I'd never.

Bruce: You’ll tell them you had a long term affair behind my back. With Batman.

Clark: You’re absolutely evil sometimes, you know that?

Bruce: The plot required conflict.

—

Barry: So, I kinda forgot to tell my dad I’m not straight. I want him to have a soft introduction before I bring HAL home.

Bruce: Alright.

Barry: Wow! That was fast.

Bruce: I have a deep-seated fear of denying my younger peers.

—

The only issue? JL is hosting a family night and they all sorta kinda forgot to tell their parents they stopped “dating” Bruce.

The parents are fighting over him.

[julientel]

28 stab w- sorry, wrong fandom

(not a ship)

[imheretoreadafic]

When Bruce was new to the whole having children thing, he was always stepping in and trying to break up fights. His resolve was quickly broken, and he just decided to put rules on fighting out problems. No breaking anything, no weapons, no hitting face, neck, or groin, and no knockouts.

Batman leaned against the wall and casually watched as Robin and Red Robin beat the shit out of each other. The JL glanced at each other.

"You... You gonna do something about that, Bats?" Barry asks cautiously.

"It's been a long time coming." Bruce grunts. "Let them handle it." A hit to the jaw lands on Damian, and he shouts at them: "AY, KEEP IT AWAY FROM THE FACE!"

"FUCK OFF!" Tim screams but he doesn't punch Damian in the face again.

Diana nods. "I approve of this parenting technique. Sometimes problems need to be solved with some bruises and blood." Bruce nods as well.

"I've found breaking up their fights just means they still get bruised but no issue is solved." Batman explains and Diana hums thoughtfully.

"Would it not also be adequate to have them duel?"

"No, they do actual damage if i let them have a weapon.

"Ah, I suppose that makes sense."

Everyone is horrified.

[galaxymagitech]

Batman: I don’t trust you. I trust no one. Trust is the enemy.

Also Batman: I’m right. Trust me on this.

Justice League: …no.

Batman: *surprised pikachu face*

Superman: …well, I trust you, at least.

Batman: You shouldn’t.

Flash: Then why were you so surprised when we said we didn’t trust you?

Batman:

Batman:

Batman: …

Robin: He thinks you all are idiots!

[theaceofarrows]

[Dick walks into the room with a black eye]

Tim: How'd you get that? I thought you took the night off from patrol?

Dick: Well, I was sitting down next to Jason when he was reading, and I noticed the book had a Penguin Classics logo on it

Dick: So I went, "Holy moly Batman! You're telling me a penguin wrote all those classics?!" And so he hit me with a copy of Beowulf

Tim: How did he give you a black eye though? It's not even a big book?

-

[Flashback]

Jason: [repeatedly hitting Dick and screaming] Grendel's mother was just about to come to AVENGE HER SON, and now you've RUINED my headspace, you IDIOT!

[End flashback]

-

Dick: [rubbing his eye] He really didn't find my joke funny

[butchmammon]

who gave him access to the oven first of all,

[zyanova]

Is this anything

[thebat-musicman]

Bruce as one of those parents who learns one thing about you and then assumes that is your whole personality

Bruce: Happy Birthday, Jason! Open your presents!

Jason: You got me tires. Again.

Bruce: You used to like tires :(

Jason: Yeah, when I was twelve. And I didnt even like them that much back then either!

Bruce: Should I take them back…

Jason: GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY FUCKING TIRES, BRUCIE.

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

*batkids going out in gotham for the night*

Bruce: And what do you do if you get stopped by the cops?

All of the kids: let Tim or Jason deal with it as the two white passing ones.

Bruce: Good, now go have fun.

[nagitosstolenhand]

[escespace]

To whoever first wrote that Merlin is only clumsy because he has to make a conscious effort and always invest a lot of energy to not allowing his magic to be instinctive : Thank you! That concept always lives in my mind for free