#is that my writing tag. ... how sad is it that i dont remember

[typhlosionismyshit]

behold--nearly 10k of breakup-makeup soapghost angst, ended with happy and no small amount of fluff and confessions. with a side of gaz being chaotic and Correct, as a treat. also my first finished and posted fic for cod, even tho i've been here awhile. enjoy!

[discjude]

Yeah this is about right (as always my thoughts are in the tags so there's actually kei content there lmao)

[peanutalergy]

guardian angel ʚ ɞ s.r. × reader

in which you realize your boyfriend might just be a celestial being sent to take care of you (or in which you get too drunk at a party and spencer has to pick you up)

tags: FLUFF !?! HIGH SCHOOL AU !! underage drinking (literally the whole plot of this), mentions of throwing up, popular cheerleader fem!reader, guilt that may or may not be religious, popular girl × nerdy boy for as long as i'm alive i will love you, reader is sad and overthinking drunk, lots of misspelling cause they text, religious stuff duh.

w/c: 2.3k

a/n: did this need to be a high school au? absolutely not. why is it a high school au? I don't know. don't ask. I write these as a way to cope with the unfortunate fact that I am indeed not in high school anymore. also if u saw this before no you didn't.

a project due tomorrow. after a while of thinking, far too long, you remember. you and your friend have a project due tomorrow. that's how you got here. that's how you got to her house at five o'clock. to do a project. now, how did you get to her bathroom, sitting on top of the closed toilet lid as you take deep breaths and pray not to throw up? that's a question your drunken mind doesn't really have an answer to.

whose idea was it to start drinking? or to call all these people? you don't know (it was you), but when another wave of nausea washes over you, you know that person is an idiot and those were terrible ideas.

there's a knock on the bathroom door along with the soft sound of someone calling out your name, a harsh contrast to the loud music banging downstairs.

“someone's blowing up your phone,” the voice you don't yet recognize says.

“it's just my mom, no? tell her to fuck off. i'll be home in the morning.”

“no, it's spencer.”

your mind takes a second to process those words, but once it does, the speed in which you jump up and open the door to take the phone should win you some sort of olympic medal. without even looking in their face, you mutter a thank you before locking the door and going back to your seat.

spence <3 (5 missed calls, 11 unread messages)

23:41 Your mom is texting me.

You're not at home?

00:18 Where are you?

Just send me your location or something so we can know you're fine.

Please, honey?

00:54 Your mom just called me again, she's worried sick.

Where are you?

01:03 ???

Are you okay?

Call me back when you read this, please.

01:04 Just tell me you're okay.

01:07 Please don’t make me or your mom call the police.

your shaky fingers move faster than your mind can process the words they're typing. looking at the small words on the small screen only makes your head hurt even more. you can understand the old people with their huge fonts when you have to try reading it a few times until it's all less blurry.

01:08 sarah house

paerty

01:08 Are you okay?

Safe?

01:08 yup

mm tho not reallly

idunno

head hurts

01:09 How much have you had to drink?

01:09 notihng

01:09 You're drunk, though.

01:09 no imnot

okay maybw a litle bit

alot

01:09 Are you with anyone?

01:10 bathrooom

by myslef

01:10 Can I go pick you up?

01:10 nononoononononno baby dont worry ill get a ride home dont owrry you dont have to

ill get a ride from maria

01:10 Who's Maria?

You don't know any Marias.

you stop and think. yeah, who is maria? you really don't know any marias. and when that goes through your mind, just about everything else does, as well. what you're doing here, what got you here, spencer, your mom, maria(?), sarah, the two beers and three shots you chose to take and the four you were forced to.

you've become what you feared when you were younger. a high school popular cheerleader whose boyfriend has to rescue her from parties when she's almost blackout drunk. that thought train would've spiraled into something along the lines of guilt and regret, but a few sounds came from your phone before you could even start to think about how good you used to be.

01:12 Baby?

Are you there?

Still with me?

01:12 yeah

you dont have to get up and drivw all the way here forme

its late

im okay dont worry

01:13 I'm already on my way.

Just try to stay safe until I get there, yeah?

you blink.

someone's at the door again.

“spencer's here.”

you're sober enough to realize how insane that was, but you're drunk enough to not realize why this says how drunk you are.

wow, he has a really fast car. maybe he teleported here. maybe he flew.

you reach over and unlock the door from the toilet seat. he walks in mumbling more words of appreciation to whoever has been the bridge between you two tonight.

the first thing you notice about him is just how tired he looks. you feel genuinely bad for being the reason this poor guy has to drive all the way to this loud, full, dirty house to pick you up because you have the self control of a five year old. the second thing you notice is just how cute he looks in a hoodie and sweatpants, an attire you rarely ever have the privilege to see him in.

he holds his phone in one hand, key chain ring looped over his finger holding his car and house keys. the messenger bag you'd expected to see thrown over his shoulder isn't there, and neither are the converse he basically never takes off. he's wearing uggs, the matching ones you two bought together a few months back because you didn't want to go into the store by yourself, but you'd only ever seen him wear them at his own house.

his face softens when he sees you mutter his name, “hi, baby. how are you doing?”

“my head hurts.”

spencer kneels over in front of you, taking your face in his hands and wiping the sweat from your cheeks. he whispers as if the sounds coming from downstairs were not as loud as they are.

“how much have you had to drink?”

“like eight.”

“eight what?”

“shots. maybe.” you whisper, glancing down at your fingers as they fidget with the sequins on your top. your top? this top isn't yours. he's about to say something again when you mumble, “whose is this?”

“what, this top?”

“yeah. not mine. i came here wearing my uniform. my cheer uniform. not this.”

“sarah might have borrowed it to you.” before you can say anything else, he adds, “but it doesn't matter now. you can give back her top and we can come by and pick up your uniform later. let's just get you home now, yeah? your mom is worried sick about you.”

“don't tell her, please.” you mumble, looking up at him the same way one would beg their kidnapper to spare their life as he starts helping you stand up.

“she already knows you're not home and not with me. what kind of lie are you supposed to make up?” he asks as the two of you walk back out of the bathroom and into the party, arm looped around your waist while you lean against him like a bruised soldier limping.

“why didn't you tell her i was with you?”

“because you weren't, and i didn't know where you were. maybe if you had told me you'd be at a party, you could've asked me to cover for you, but i had no way of knowing if you were safe or not.”

cover for you.

you rest your head on his shoulder as it starts running over how terrible that is again. he's not mad that it's one in the morning, or that he's insanely overwhelmed from everything surrounding him. if he's even slightly upset, he doesn't let it show.

you really had just asked him to lie to your mother so you could get drunk on a school night at your friend's house without getting in trouble. and still, he gently kisses the top of your hair while he leads you through the crowd like he's splitting the sea and saving you.

as his thumb rubs circles on your side to try and soothe you from the loud house out of which you walk, you think about everything you've done the past few years and just how much you've screwed up and how you don't deserve someone half as good as the boy beside you and how you're keeping him up on a school night to help you and before you know it you're inside his car and he's buckling you up and placing a kiss on your cheek.

“are you okay?”

“you shouldn't be here.” you mumble, staring out the window and into the street where a few cars with too bright lights pass you by.

“why not?”

“it's late and we have school tomorrow and you shouldn't be up and i'm a terrible person.”

his eyes widen at the last statement, “where did that come from?”

“i asked you to lie for me. i’m keeping you up really really late at night. you should be at home asleep, not out here taking care of me.”

when your voice gets small and hoarse, he hands you the water bottle no one besides the two of you can touch, and tells you to drink while he speaks softly, “i wasn't asleep, anyway. if i wasn't here, i'd be at home reading. i'd much rather be with and take care of you when i know you need it.”

“mm, but you'd be much better off reading.” you whisper, throwing your legs on top of the dashboard after handing him back the now empty bottle.

“don't sit like that, it's dangerous.” he says, pointing to your feet, and you mutter a small sorry as you put them back on the floor.

it's quiet for a moment. he turns on the car and starts driving before speaking softly again, “i really don't mind being here. i'd prefer it if you could at least let me know before these parties, though. would make me a lot less worried.”

you give him another apology, which he just blows off with a that's okay before you go silent again.

“i'm never drinking again.” you mumble, voice muffled by the cheeseburger he insisted on getting you after you accidentally let him know you had drunk it all in an empty stomach.

“yeah, i don't really think you should. especially not on weekdays.”

“mm, i'm totally skipping school tomorrow.”

“half the school is, probably.” he laughs after taking a sip of his coke, “i'm sure everyone in the football team was in that house, and they were doing worse than you.”

“i don't even– mm, i don't even know why we were there.” you say with a chuckle before briefly turning your attention to swallowing the food in your mouth, “i remember the project we did. nothing more. i don't know why any of those people were there.”

“from what i heard, someone decided to invite a small group to ‘hang out’” he exaggerates on the air quotes, “one person calls another, who may or may not have a fake id, and that's how you get those parties.”

you know he's not trying to sound as scolding as he does, but the way he says it is annoyingly lecture-y. not only does it make you recall the beginning of the night—the truth or dare played when the only people there were the ones from the group chat, the moment the jocks started arriving, the lights getting turned down and the music getting turned up—in great accuracy for your state, but it also feels like he's reminding you of the responsibility you had in all of it.

“that's rude.” you mutter, feigning offense by pouting and crossing your arms over your chest.

“what is?” he lets out a small chuckle as he asks with a confused tilt to his head and furrow to his brows.

“i don't know. that felt rude, the whole sentence.”

“i didn't mean for it to be rude,” he countered, still staring with an amused smile at your face, “i was just trying not to say explicitly that you're the one who started the party.”

you scoff, dropping the act that didn't have the effect you hoped it would, and taking another bite after grumbling, “how do you even know that?”

“i know everything.”

you used to say that as a joke, spencer knows everything, and he started using it too, once you got more comfortable together. whenever he wanted to tease you, or on rare occasions he didn't want to explain something. it's always said in that obviously fake cocky tone, paired with a big smirk that almost makes you regret having started the bit.

you don't even have enough energy to argue, so in order to let yourself let it go, your intoxicated brain tells itself he truly has some sort of omniscient, metaphysical, cosmic aspect to his being.

it certainly wouldn't be that shocking. as well as knowing almost everything, he is much too good to be a human being, let alone a man. sometimes he does feel like some kind of entity, an angel who was sent to earth to take care of this girl as soon as her decision making skills started deteriorating. the bright light coming from the post behind him, lined up perfectly to create a white aura around him doesn't do anything to disprove that theory.

you only realize the way you're staring at him once he asks with a confused laugh, “what's up?”

“hm?” you blink, shaking your head as he breaks you out of the train of thought that was awfully close to making you religious.

“you got all weird. why are you looking at me like that?”

you go silent again for a long moment before muttering breathily, “you're like my guardian angel.”

he almost considers your answer, until he smells the alcohol on your breath again. with another chuckle, he shakes his head and turns the engine back on, “alright, sweetheart, let's get you home.”

[i-messed-up-big-time]

Someone Precious II

Caleb x Non MC Reader

a/n: seeing all of you guys really like the first part defo made me feel all warm and giggly! so thank you for all of your lovely comments! also i am not well versed in the realm of medicine/hospitals and stuff so please bear with me as i write the scenes dealing with those, i most likely will briefly touch on those and not go into too much detail. also i finally got a desk and a monitor so now i can do all my writing in comfort rather than hunched over on my bed! Also this part doesn't really have much Caleb unless you include reader thinking about him. another side note, this part will be short but i will write more for the other parts, i just needed this one to be on its own focusing on the pregnancy a bit so that in the other parts i can focus on the relationships with MC, Caleb etc.

also i dont think i mentioned this in my previous part but ill make sure to add it to my masterlist description, the setting of this series will be taking place in a world where ever, evols and wanderers do not exist. some aspects of the characters and how they met have been tweaked to fit with the plot, so pls dont come at me if something isnt how you remember it in the game.

Divider creds @/cafekitsune

tags: angst, hurt/comfort, reader is female and is AFAB, pregnancy,

word count: 1.7k

masterlist

series masterlist

taglist: @aneertawrites @eurydiceknowshesloved @angelichiaro @nommingonfood @ynovaes @animegamerfox @melonssoup @iamawkwardandshy @novthirty @rosevelt632 @sleepless-cloudy @justpassingdontworry @sleepykittyenergy @ijustwannabeyourmuse @iiyumii @eolivy @asakiyu

You sat there numb, your thoughts were a broken record.

'I'm pregnant.'

That's all your brain could handle at the moment. MC sat next to you in silence, rubbing a soothing hand on your back,

She knew that right now what you needed was comfort through gestures and not words, so she just waited patiently until you were ready to say something.

No matter what decision you made, she was ready to support you.

●・○・●・○・●・

A couple of hours had passed, you still hadn't spoken up but you had moved to lie in your bed.

MC had gone out to get some lunch, which left you alone with your thougthts.

If there was one thing you had come to a conclusion for, it was that you were going to keep the baby.

Call it a motherly instinct, but you didn't have the heart to abandon an innocent soul.

It wasn't long before MC came back, calling you to come to the dining room. She had gotten your favourite takeaway hoping that it would cheer you up a little bit, and it did.

You smiled as you helped her set the table. As you guys were unpacking the food you decided to finally tell her what was going through your head.

"I'm going to keep the baby. I don't want to abandon an innocent soul and I've always wanted a child, it just didn't happen the way I would have hoped."

You said with a sad smile as you placed a hand on your stomach.

You had dreamed of having a family, more specifically with Caleb. In a way you got your wish, but it felt like fate was cruel for granting it the way they did.

You're still young, you don't even know if you'll even be a good mother. But there's one thing for sure, you have the best possible support system you could ever ask for.

MC's smile mirrored your own.

Dinner was spent in silence, it was comfortable. MC didn't push you for a conversation and you were grateful for that.

●・○・●・○・●・

It had been a week since the news, and now you were here standing in front of Akso Hospital.

You were feeling nervous, a part of you felt like you would be judged for the reason of your visit, but you knew that was just the anxiety talking.

Taking a deep breath you walked in, it was now or never.

The nurse at the reception desk was sweet, her tone and gaze held no judgement as she guided me to the examination room.

You got settled and just laid there staring at the ceiling, you tried to keep your thoughts positive and light, but your thoughts kept drifting back to Caleb.

What it would be like to have him here with you. Would he reassure you? Would he be as nervous as you are?

All these 'what ifs' that'll never become a reality. You could only hope that you could be enough for your child.

●・○・●・○・●・

Your appointment confirmed exactly what those pregnancy tests said, you were six weeks pregnant.

You knew Caleb was the father. He was your first, and honestly your last.

At this moment in time your heart didn't have the ability to love another. He was everything you wanted in a man.

Maybe I should re-evaluate what a man is.

You thought bitterly, but you chided yourself just as quickly as that thought came.

You didn't want to think of him that way or think negatively at all, not wanting those feelings to affect your health and bring any complications for your child.

"It's ok my baby, mommy and Aunty MC will make sure you never feel insecure about not having a father."

Your words were not only to comfort your child, but also to comfort yourself.

●・○・●・○・●・

6 weeks later

You were back at Akso Hospital again, this time it was for a follow up appointment.

MC had taken time off work to come with you this time, saying how it's part of her aunty duties.

It was cute, and it never failed to put a smile on your face when she would talk excitedly about all the things she would do with her future niece or nephew.

You had assumed this check up would be the same as the first one, just a normal procedure to make sure that the baby and mum are doing ok.

Boy were you in for a treat.

As your doctor moved the wand around your growing belly you noticed something on the screen that you didn't see last time.

"Congratulations! It seems you'll be having twins."

MC let out the loudest squeal known to man at the news, you could practically feel her excitement radiating off of her.

You matched her energy with a smile on your face.

I guess my little family just grew by one.

You thought to yourself.

"Would you guys like to know the gender or do you want to keep it a surprise?"

Your doctor asked. You personally wanted to keep it as a surprise because you could already see the gears turning in MC's head.

You knew exactly what she was planning and in all honesty, you wanted to let her have her way.

She was your rock and sole supporter through all of this, you would feel bad if you didn't let her do what she wanted.

"I'd like for it to be kept a secret but by all means let her know, I can tell she's dying of curiosity."

You let out a soft laugh, your doctor cleaned up the gel and helped you up.

MC gave you a big hug before you made your way outside.

It didn't take long before MC came skipping out the room, her smile was so bright you thought you might go blind.

That night MC treated you to dinner and insane amount of sweets, which totally satiated the cravings you were having.

●・○・●・○・●・

6 months later

You were in your final trimester, it was a relatively easy going pregnancy, if you ignore the fact that you feel like a walking balloon.

Most of your days were spent in bed as the weight of your stomach made it hard to move around too much.

It was times like these that it made you think of Caleb. Even though you had promised yourself that you wouldn't, but at the end of the day you were still madly in love with a man who ghosted you after your first time.

Crazy isn't it? Your heart was a fool in love while your brain tried to be the rational one, but every now and then you would give in to the thoughts of what would have happened if he didn't run off.

Would he be here helping you through all of this? If he were to come back, how would you confront him?

You could only pray that he didn't show up in front of you any time soon, because the moment he did you would give him a beating of a lifetime.

Your due date was somewhat nearby but not close enough yet. You had your hospital bag packed and a baby carrier all ready to go right by the door. That way you and MC wouldn't be scrambling around last minute trying to find everything.

You were feeling nervous, you didn't know what the delivery would be like and you worried for your babies, wondering if you could make up for the lack of father figure they would have in their life.

You had taken a look at the time and had noticed it was quite late and MC had yet to come back from work. Just as you were about to give her a call, you heard the sound of the door being unlocked.

MC walked in holding a multitude of things, the most obvious one being balloons that read Boy or Girl?

"Surprise!"

MC exclaims, you don't know if it was just you or the hormones but you started bawling. The love that you felt was immense, no words could explain it.

You waddled over to MC to help her but she waved you off and told you to take a seat on the couch as she set things up.

You waddled back to the couch and settled in to the cushions as MC worked quick with her set up.

As soon as she was done she set up her phone so that it would capture the background and us.

"We're gonna do this trend I saw on social media, so just follow my lead."

MC gave a brief explanation and you nodded in understanding.

"Hi I'm your Aunt MC and I think you guys are gonna be two beautiful baby girls."

You giggled, you knew that she already knew the genders but thought it was cute that she wanted to at least pretend that she didn't know.

"Hi my babies, I'm your mommy and I think you guys will be beautiful boy and girl."

You always wanted a daughter and a son, but you also would be happy with either gender as long as they were healthy.

"Okay, now we're gonna do the gender reveal. Take this glass and close your eyes, on the count of three we'll push it into the cakes and see what the genders are."

MC pushed one cake towards you and placed the other one in front of her.

Following her instructions, you placed the glass over the cake and closed your eyes.

"One, two, three!"

You brought the glass down and prayed you actually got some cake in there and not just frosting.

"Ok open your eyes!"

You could hear the smile in her voice.

You opened your eyes and looked at your glass and then MC's, they were both blue.

You pulled MC into a hug, you don't know if it was the hormones or the situation but you started crying, they were happy tears.

You felt so happy that you had such an amazing friend by your side, you didn't even wanna think what life would've been like if she wasn't in it.

In the midst of all the emotions and excitement you didn't notice the seat under you getting wet until you started to feel like you may have peed your pants.

You pulled back from MC and said,

"I think my water just broke."

[gaywineauntsstuff]

saw someone say that jason is really the only one that bruce wanted and chose to adopted y’all are playing with right now

Yall Bruce’s babies are his babies even when he’s a shit parent

Like okay

I get it?

Bc Jay is like the ONLY time DC makes sure to preserve the sweetness of the Batman Robin relationship

Like yall remember prime Bruce and Dick og robin run? I don’t bc I haven’t fuckinf read comics from the 40s however I actually started reading stuff from Dicks ORIGINAL Robin run. And they’re adorable, sweet, perfect, 20000/10 (most of the time we ignore mind control and the occasional Talia beef it’s fine)

I finally get good dad Bruce’s Wayne truthers

HOWEVER c o m m a

WHAT I READ WAYYYY B4 THE OG BATMAN AND ROBIN

WAS BATMAN AND ROBIN ALL STAR.

Like????? Be so fr with me you’re gonna sit here and tell me that the pedophilic, weird, abusive Batman just fully and truly exists???? (Listen maybe my media literacy is ass but I read that comic at 14 and I felt so uncomfortable)

Ew

Or like

YALL REMEMBER TIM ANF BRUCE??? THE ANIMATED SERIES?? TIMS ROBIN RUN? ADORKABLE

They were perfect

But DC??? For angst reasons

WILL RUIN TIM AND DICK SND DAMIANS RELATIONSHIP WITH BRUCE A BILLION TIMES

- Dick being fired instead of outgrowing Robin

- Bruce HITTING HIM

- TIMS WHOLE ASS 16TH BIRTHDAY

and like about 5billion ooc bits of nonsense my Bruce Wayne would never

Ever

But Jason?

Well?

His relationship with Bruce is currently awful so the only way to make it even more ouchhhhh is to make it so that they had the perfect Batman Robin relationship (which they did not but like we move)

Right so all the current comics when showing a Jaybin Robin scene just make it tooth rottingly sweet so we all sit there and go

Awww poor Jay Jay my son (but truly poor jayjay I love him)

ANYWAY

It sucks bc?? It does end up coming off like Bruce was a father to Jason and a drill sergeant to everyone else.

- hence why the Dick Grayson is a better parent than Bruce Wayne - tag exists

But like

It’s canon that Bruce literally had empty nest syndrome after Dick left. Bro was sad and missed his small bouncy blue eyed son so he got another one. He also loved this other one and this other one was not a replacement child but like. Empty nest syndrome is 100% the reason that he went and saw small, vaguely Grayson shaped baby must have.

Tim?

That’s his BABY

HAVE YALL SEEN HOW HE HOLDS TIM??? BE SO FR WITH ME IF YOU DONT THINK THERE WAS AFFECTIONATE IN THERE

And DAMIAN COME ON YALL IK WE ALL LOVE DICK AND DAMIAN FATHERSONISMS BUT LIKE BRUCE IS LIKE A DAD WHO LOVES HIS WEIRD SON VERY VERY MUCH.

Is okay

But like I do get where they’re coming from

I just think they’re wrong

The same way that like I fundamentally disagree with the Dick is an idiot Grayson truthers however, we had new 52 (a Dick who barely knew Donna is bound to be new levels of idiot) and rebirth (lobotomized male feminist Grayson) like yeah if that’s all you’ve read of him??? No shit you’re not gonna think he’s all that bright

It’s the same way I see fans of both of these nightwing runs giving Watters run shit bc “oh is everyone praising this run but Nightwing doesn’t have to be blue Jason Todd” bc he hates cops, is kinder to criminals and is generally more calculating/ broody than the last decade of Nightwing

Like the content is definitely leaning people in a certain way.

Bc lowkey dc babes I love you

But like? wtf is happening

Anyway I’m not judging the fans unless they get in my face about it. I see where they’re coming from but I think it’s a combo of fanons love of violent exaggeration (think oh Damian cut Tim’s line for no reason, Dick threw Jason in Arkham, Dick being fragile and meek) + a writing choice that appeals more to short form angst than for long term character cohesion

Anyway sorry for the rant that’s my two cents on it

[whore4mattsturniolo]

mootie appreciation post cuz i love all of you and im sad rn

@sosasturns. where would i even be without her. genuinely i cant go more than 24 hours not talking without tweaking tf out like thats fr my twin!! we really be plotting world domination in dms like i love her sm. layout always eats down, face card tea, funny as hell, what cant she do? inside jokes crazy too (uno cards up his ass???)

@yourmother29 OBVIOUSLY. i dont even think of her as a mutual like thats just my best friend! even my momma knows who she is !! love you megs ur only good thing to come from great britain

@strnilolover we recently got close and ur fr one of the coolest people on here, everything about u is magic i love u and ur fic ideas are literally insane

@muwapsturniolo big sister !! also an amazing writer and just an amazing person ?!? like woah how do i be you when i grow up i love u !!!

@leoslaboratory HELLO LEO!!!!!!! i love you and everything you do, your layout is SOOO fire and you're so fine and also funny as shit !! teach me how to roll a joint again PUHLEASE i need it

@submattenthusiast i just love jules a lot !!!

@sweetshuga one of the OGs!! we started our accounts at around the same time and she is literally one of the best writers around ?!? every fic she writes gets better and better shes my inspiration for everything i write

@cvnntagious my celebrity crush i cant even believe we're moots like WHAT!!!!!!! also one of the coolest people ever

@snoopychris MY BABY :((( i wanna buy you a snoopy bouquet and kiss u i love u sm ur so perfect i wish i could live in your brain

@mattsstarlet one of the sweetest people on here i love talking to you <3 ur so beautiful angel i love you so so so much

@theyluvivi my baby sister omg i remember when i saw your very first post, fr felt your aura from 30 scrolls away. ur so talented and ur vibes are off literally changed my life I LOVE YOU BBY thank you for feeding the sub!chris enthusiasts

lowk im forgetting everyone i've ever interacted with on here sowwy...even if i didnt tag you i still love you <3 thx for putting up with my bs

[raffa-taff]

do you have any alphonse fic recs?? I'm literally starving for any fanfictions that recognize the complex character he is and dont sideline him. please.

Hell yeah brother I got recs

Sorry for the wait!

These are just some fics I enjoyed reading (or from what I remember anyways), most of these are angst or some kind of hurt/comfort and please mind the tags🙏 I don’t think any of these recs have super heavy material (again from what I can remember but still). I’ve highlighted my faves in orange (hope that doesn’t cause readability issues) this will also probably be a long post sorry!

Most of thornbacks fics are pretty good in terms of how Alphonse is written, I don’t think they’ve done any fics centred on only Alphonse but every time I read a thornback fic I like how Alphonse is written in them, and in most of their fics Alphonse and his feelings are never really forgotten which I appreciate.

“Simple things” by PrinRue over on fanfic.net (I love this one so much, it’s still going atm too!. It’s not solely Alphonse focused but it does have like Alphonse focused chapters if that makes sense and I love them so so much and there’s a lot of great writing for Ed, winry and even pinako which is always great, it’s my fave fma fic atm)

“Close your eyes I’ll be here in the morning” by alphonselrics ( I read this one a while ago so I can’t remember much of this fic aside of bits and pieces here and there but I remember getting so excited every time I saw it had updated and that I enjoyed reading it a lot. Fic focused on als recovery. )

“You don’t have to go through this alone” by September bugs ( another post promised day Alphonse fic, with some parental riza and Roy thrown in. Mostly about Al struggling with his body and being overwhelmed by his regained senses, sweet ending :] )

All of the fics in “Alphonse elrics guide on how to spend your sleepless nights” by c_c_cherry (I always find myself going back to read this series every once in a while, the second one with riza is my fave)

“Musicology” by DeadlyGlacier ( just a really sweet Alphonse and winry fic )

“Of hospitals and health” by ReminiscentRevelry (post promised day fic with Al and Roy talking in the hospital )

“50 ways to explain a suit of armour” by kastaborous ( I remember finding this one pretty funny and an enjoyable read, there’s also an Edward variant by the same person I’m p sure)

“You can do that?” By waddlesthejoghog (gay Alphonse Elric, need I say more?)

“I fell in your arms tonite” by LAON (Elric brothers Ough💔)

“The fullmetal alchemists” by RoboticRainboots (not exactly only Alphonse focused but Ough Elric brothers again)

“Sherman, the rock” by Bookwrm389 (Alphonse being silly, I love him, and Elric brother banter. Mostly a humorous fic)

“Little wonders” by ADreamingSongbird (nice Alphonse and winry fic)

“You’re the only song I want to hear” by ADreamingSongbird (amazing fic, really, really good. Delves into how Alphonse feels just after being transmuted and does it really well in my opinion. I remember reading this one for the first time and going back to re-read sections because they were so good to me. Makes you feel really sad for Alphonse and the horrible things he must’ve been going through post transmutation and actually made my chest hurt those first couple times reading it, honestly can’t recommend it enough, if you read any fics from this list please let it be this one. Very sad but with a little nice moment with Alphonse and winry at the end)

“What” by bees cheese (silly fic from an outside perspective of someone listening to Ed and als convo)

“Life where we all are” by elkatt (hughes and Alphonse 💔)

“Dignity” by FollowerOfMercy (lovely fic, really, really like it, has some angst and takes place in the early days post-transmutation. Alphonse trying to regain a sense of humanity💔 and moments between him and pinako, my fave)

“Camping and cussing” by wakingnightmares ( silly sibling banter that makes me smile)

“Chasm” by AnEquivalentExchange (takes place after the scar fight)

“Touch” by TwitchySmurph (little fic taking place a bit after the transmutation)

“The old tomorrow doesn’t exist anymore” by Alphonsevebop (long fic with an interesting plot, focuses on Ed and winry too but I remember liking how Alphonse was written and being excited for updates)

“His little brother” by plateofpie (very sweet and I remember liking the premise of this one, feels realistic too, which I liked)

“An armoured cage” by plateofpie (really liked this one but I felt so bad for Alphonse gah💔 love reading fics about how people react to Alphonse and what he looks like in the armour. He’s still so young too and I feel like he’s written really well here, Alphonse oughhh💔 takes place during canon and focuses on the kind of attention Alphonse would probably get due to his armour and how he feels about it)

“What makes a human” by Emmmmy ( focus on Roy and Alphonse. Really like how Alphonse is written in this one, he really feels his age and the back and forth with mustang is so enjoyable to read imo)

And that’s all!

I apologise if this was too long but I wanted to make sure that I had some good picks for you since Al-centred fics can be hard to find, these are just some of my faves, I think I might have more actually but I can’t remember. I also apologise for some of the rambles next to the fics too but some of them are so good I just have to and I felt it might be a good idea to give a basic rundown of some of the fics anyways. Okay byeee! :]

[burningcheese-merchant]

youll be fine merchant, after all i follow you because i like you saying things, you make things interesting in a way, im not sure how to describe it, but what i do want to say is that you dont need to feel that way, u doing fine and i hope you continue doing fine

I'm grateful for your kind words. I really am. I'm touched you took the time to say something to me. But... Idk.

I'm feeling very raw today. I want to be totally real just once. Just this one time. No sarcasm or joking around like I usually do. Be my therapist/blank wall to whom I address my words of woe for a minute. Then we can all go back to normal after that

I've been having a major crisis of self-confidence lately. Been feeling stupid. Useless. Good for nothing. Probably just the Big Sad talking but that guy hasn't shut up for an awfully long time and he's harder to tune out on some days

Writing was always an escape for me. A form of catharsis. I'm actually quite terrible at speaking to people irl. I'm very shy and awkward. Social anxiety on steroids. I always expressed myself better in writing as opposed to spoken words. Idk it just feels a lot less stifling to me. I feel more free. Less judged. More in control of my thoughts. If that makes any sense.

Bit the bullet and started posting fics on AO3 just to indulge myself. Never really expected to get any attention. There was a ship I liked and there weren't really any fics for it, so I became the change I wished to see in the world. That was all it was. You want something done right, do it your damn self.

Wrote more. Different things with different characters and different ideas. Gained a lot more traction. Caught another bullet in my teeth and made this blog. People seem to like my ideas for some reason. I start to think "hey. Maybe I really am a good writer."

Then I took a few story-shaped sledgehammers to the skull and remembered that no, I'm not. Lol.

Comparison is the thief of joy. I know that. Nobody needs to remind me. But it's easier said than practiced. Read biscuitlabyrinth's stuff and felt like a fraud. Read Jambound and felt like a skyscraper-sized fraud. It's hard not to compare yourself to others when the "others" are practically hailed as heroes by the fandom. When there are mountains upon mountains of fanart happily illustrating their work. When their story has the most hits and the most kudos and the most comments and the most bookmarks in the entire Cookie Run tag on AO3, and only receives more every passing day. When there are people who want to bind the fic and make it an actual, physical book, because they love it so much. No one has ever said or done any of that for me or my stuff. Never got even a fraction of that love or attention. Not even close. And I never, ever will.

Yeah yeah. Two cakes. Everyone has said that to me. But if you all had to choose. If you could only eat one cake while the other one went straight to the trash. You wouldn't pick mine, would you? You'd pick the other one. You'd pick Jambound. Everyone would. Even my friends on here would. Why bother wasting time and ingredients baking the thing if you know that's how it's going to be? What's the point?

I know I'm not owed success. Nobody is. It's earned. It just... hurts, I guess. It hurts to feel compelled to doubt yourself so strongly after finally allowing yourself to believe you've done a good job at something for once in your life. To feel like even when I try, even when I put my best foot forward, it's not good enough. Nobody actually cares. No one will ever think of you like they think of those other people and their work. No one will think of you at all. You're just a sad little wannabe loser, wallowing in their shadows.

I don't blame those people for these feelings. I don't blame anyone except myself. To think or do otherwise would be childish. No one is responsible for making me feel inferior/inadequate besides me. I accept that these thought and feelings are foolish. Whiny. Unfair. No one should pay them any mind. I'll sort through them on my own.

It's stupid, all of this. Oh no, some person's fanfiction is more popular than yours. Boo hoo. It's the end of the world. Stupid. It's all stupid. And yet, the feelings persist. It sucks. I don't want to feel this way. I'd rather just forget about it all and go back to being the loser who was content just writing for herself and nobody else, really. I don't look good in green, that's for sure lol. But it's hard. It's hard to let go of something that's got its jaws clenched around your neck so tight. Waiting for you to stop fighting and bleed out before it can finish its meal.

I always thought that writing was the only thing I was ever good at. That I was ever good for. Learned the hard way that that's not true. That my best was never anything but mediocre in reality. It's really no wonder Jambound is as beloved as it is. It's wonderful. Fantastic. It deserves all the praise it gets. I wish I could write half as well as that. But I don't. And now sometimes I wonder if anyone would even notice, even if I did.

I'm not happy writing anymore. Feels like it got snatched from me. The thing I love, that always brought me a measure of peace no matter how depressed I got. Gone. I can't draw worth a damn. I'm not funny. I'm not that smart. I never thought I had anything to give anyone except my writing. Now I understand that I don't have that, either. My cake sucks. No wonder everyone would rather eat theirs.

I'll get over it eventually. I'm stubborn if nothing else at all. I've got stories to tell and finish, even if they'll never mean anything to anyone except myself. Might as well. For my own sake.

There. Said my piece. Poured my miserable little heart out. Let's not talk about this anymore. Go back to enjoying the fancy, professional cake and celebrating the talented baker. Leave me to my cracked countertop covered in stale flour and rotten eggs and bland frosting. I never said anything worth listening to. I'm not sure I ever have.

No more self-pity after this, back to being a silly bozo as usual. Thanks for reading all this gunk if you bothered to for whatever reason. Y'all have a nice day. Better than mine, hopefully

[cokoladasljesnjakom]

tag you're it

bucky barnes x fem! reader

a/n: this took me 5 days to write and GOD it was hard. the ideas were running around my mind like crazy tho. but I had fun writing this. i cant wait for the rest tho. enjoy your reading and do your thing girl. HAVE FUN YALL! 🙏 (HES SO PRETTY IN THAT GIF OH MY GOD AAAAAHHHH 😻😻😻)

word count: around 4k?

warrnings: blood, guns, sad max, shadow (shes a warning okay?), trauma from the past and yeah.

prologue part i

Max’s grip tightened around the steering wheel, his mind spiraling. 'five years. five damn years, and this guy figures it out in a week? how the hell does he do it? while I’ve been chasing dead ends, he’s been living his life like it’s nothing. maybe I just suck at this. maybe I should’ve done more. maybe I could’ve stopped them. maybe... maybe I could’ve saved her.'

he slammed his fist against the wheel, the pain sharp but grounding. "this is my fault. It always has been," he muttered.

his thoughts were like wildfire, scorching everything in their path. the guilt. the rage. the self-loathing. but the one thing that always stuck with him was the pain of not being able to protect her—of failing his older sister.

pulling into the parking lot, Max forced himself to take a deep breath. the weight on his chest didn’t lighten, but he fought it down. he grabbed the croissant and locked the car, hoping the small gesture would at least make the meeting feel somewhat normal, plus hungry sam isn't on his list. he doesn't like that sam. so maybe if he could get through this conversation with Sam, he could push forward.

Max walked into the café and immediately spotted Sam, who was sipping his coffee and already looking as annoyed as ever. Max barely had time to open his mouth before Sam threw a sarcastic jab his way.

“every damn time. I show up on time, wait half an hour like an idiot, and then you show up like a lost puppy after an hour and a half. why, Max? What’s the deal? am I just supposed to be the fool in this partnership?” sam teased max.

Max, still a bit tight from his thoughts, handed Sam the paper bag with the croissant. Sam’s sarcastic tone didn’t faze him at all.

smirking to himself he knew that sam hated when he was late. “yeah, yeah. you’re lucky I remembered. figured you might need something to stop complaining.”

when he sat down, Sam eyed him, raising an eyebrow as he took the croissant and unwrapped it. “shit. you actually remembered something. pistachio, huh? guess you’re not as useless as you look.”

frowning, but clearly amused, max replied “it’s pistachio, dipshit. i’m not gonna bring you chocolate. you’ve got a weird obsession with that stuff.” and when he says weird he means it. seriously that guys obssession with pistachios is insane.

once when they were watching a movie, sam took a whole ass bag of pistachio's just to munch on them while watching the movie. till this day he has a serious trauma from it.

taking a bite, looking up at Max with a mischievous grin, sam said “you’re right, pistachio’s better. you actually do have taste. i'll admit that much.”

"yeah no shit. seriously when is that obsession going to stop, man? its concerning for both your health and mine." max shook his head trying to shake off the flashbacks he had.

sam eyed max offendedly and shook his head in disbelief. "you're one to talk kid. look your obsession with those drawn girls? now thats concerning. actually now that we are talking about it, why dont you have a girlfriend to bring you back to the place you're supposed to be, huh?"

feeling his cheeks getting hot, max tried to change the subject of the conversation and get to the real point. "that doesn't makes and sense right now. we are not here to talk about that, but something else."

sam chuckled because he knew he hit a weak spot and to be honest? he did not care. hes older than him for gods sake. 'kids these days man. always in the trouble.' he thought to himself.

as they sat down, Sam tossed a thick file of papers on the table. max’s frustration was starting to bubble over again, especially at the sheer amount of paperwork.

annoyed and tired from all the teasing, but with a clear sarcasam in his voice he asked “why the hell do you still do this, Sam? why not bring a tablet or something? you could make this whole thing easier. we’re not in the 90s, man. this isn’t your high school history project.”

smirking while munching on the croissant, sam teased “i like the paper, alright? old school. you should try it sometime.”

Max couldn’t help but roll his eyes. there was always some excuse for everything with Sam.

“whatever. but you still haven’t told me anything useful. we have a lead on her or what?” max asked in curiosity.

Sam leaned back, wiping his mouth, and pushed the folder closer to Max.

more seriously now sam said “you’re right. I’m not here to screw around. I found something that might actually help. hydra’s been holding someone, and it lines up with everything we’ve been looking for. could be her.”

Max paused, staring at the papers for a long moment. It was hard to believe after all this time. Was this real?

gritting his teeth, a little frustrated “you know how many times I’ve heard maybe it’s her, Sam? we need something concrete.”

leaning forward, tone more intense “I know. but this is more than just a maybe. they’ve been shifting people around, and this one’s high priority. we get in, we get the intel. then we plan how to get her out. we’ve got one shot at this.”

Max’s face hardens with determination as he flips through the papers, his pulse picking up at the thought of her possibly being so close. but his mind is also spinning—this time could be different, but there’s a lot on the line.

Max sighed, rubbing his temples, feeling the pressure building. He glanced at Sam, who was already pulling out his phone to make calls.

“alright, what’s the plan? how do i get in? how do i find her?”

grinning a little, still working the phone sam said “you do the running around, make sure Hydra’s too busy with you to notice me hacking into their systems. i’ll handle the details. you get the glory.”

nodding with a smirk, max replied “you know, I love it when you act all calm and smart. it makes me look even cooler when I’m the one doing the real work.”

without missing a beat, not looking up from the phone “yeah, sure, Max. you’re definitely the one doing the work. just don’t blow everything up before I finish the plan.”

grinning as he stands up, max teased “don’t worry, I’ve got this. you just focus on not getting us caught.”

Max turned to walk away, but Sam’s voice called after him.

almost mockingly sam teased back “don’t get yourself arrested, alright? I’m not bailing you out again.”

grinning as he leaves, like a mantra, max says “you say that like it’s not part of the plan.”

chuckling to himself, Sam walked away and drove off, leaving Max alone with his thoughts.

'am I really going to do this? am I really going to find her?'

the doubt gnawed at him, but deep down, he already knew the answer. "God, I hope so. I really do."

fifteen years apart, and still, his sister was the most important person in his life. he had looked up to her when they were kids. he still did—even after she was taken away.

Max sighed and got into his car, starting the engine as he pulled onto the road.

traffic was heavier than usual—clogged, but not fully stopped. he weaved forward slowly, his fingers tapping impatiently against the wheel.

then, he noticed them.

two men in police uniforms were moving between cars, asking questions and checking IDs. it looked routine enough, but something about the way they carried themselves put Max on edge.

his turn came faster than expected. one of the officers approached, leaning down slightly.

"ID, sir."

Max handed it over without a word, his muscles tensing the moment the officer’s eyes locked onto his. there was something in his gaze—something too sharp, too focused.

the man barely glanced at the ID before reaching for his walkie-talkie.

he turned slightly, murmuring something too quiet for Max to hear.

Max’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. What the hell is happening?

the officer’s body language changed—his movements slow, deliberate, as if he were both careful and calculating. his fingers curled tightly around the walkie-talkie, knuckles slightly white.

Max furrowed his brows. He had seen men act like that before. not cops. Soldiers. operatives trained to stay alert at all times.

his instincts screamed at him.

something isn’t right.

should he ask what was going on? play it cool? worst-case scenario—run.

subtly, he adjusted his posture, keeping his breathing steady. his gun was still tucked safely under his seat. If things went south, at least he wasn’t unarmed.

after a few seconds that stretched too long, the man turned back to him, nodding stiffly.

"thank you for your service, sir. you can go."

the words sounded polite, but there was a sneer beneath them. like the man knew something Max didn’t.

Max didn’t hesitate. he nodded, muttered a quick "yeah, sure," and pressed on the gas. but as he pulled away, his eyes flicked to the rearview mirror.

the officer was still watching him.

and then, he spoke into the walkie-talkie again.

while driving, max looked at his rearview mirror and checked if the police man was still looking at him and every time he turned around he did.

stopping on a red light he reached for his phone to call sam and after fourth ring he answered.

"what do you need right now huh? that talk wasnt enough good for you? or you just need an advice how to bag a real girl instead of looking at those drawn girls youre drooling?" sam teased hoping it would cheer him up a little bit, but max wasnt in the mood. after that stunt hes more on the edge than he ever has been.

"Sam, something's happening. Something bad, man. And it’s not good."

Gripping the wheel to the point his knuckles were white, Max kept glancing at his rearview mirror. The so-called cop was still there, still watching, still talking into that damn walkie-talkie.

"I don’t know what it is yet, but I can feel it. They’re onto me."

His pulse was hammering in his ears as he pressed down on the gas, trying to put some distance between him and whatever the hell was about to go down.

"I think it’s Hydra."

Static crackled over the line before Sam’s voice finally came through, sharp and laced with concern.

"Where are you, Max?"

"Still stuck in traffic, but I’m moving. Listen, if I don’t call back in five minutes—"

A sudden screech of tires behind him made Max whip his head around. A black SUV had just pulled out of a side street, merging into traffic fast. Too fast to be normal.

"Shit," Max muttered under his breath.

His grip tightened even more.

"Sam, I think I’ve got company."

There was a pause, then a sigh. "You sure?"

"Not yet." He took another turn. The SUV followed. Shit. "But I will be soon."

Max’s mind raced. If this was Hydra, then this wasn’t just some random tail. They were waiting for something—for the right moment to make a move.

"Alright," Sam’s voice was calmer now, more focused. "Listen to me. Don’t freak out. Don’t run. Not yet."

Max gritted his teeth. "Wasn’t planning on it."

"Good. If they’re following you, they’re waiting for confirmation. They don’t know if you’re actually you yet. Don’t give them a reason to be sure."

Max’s grip loosened just a little. Sam was right. If they knew, they would’ve already acted. Right now, they were just watching.

Waiting.

"Okay," Max muttered, switching lanes casually. The SUV mirrored him a second later.

Yeah. He was definitely being followed.

"Sam," he said, voice lower now, "I really, really don’t like being watched."

"Yeah, well, try not to look so damn suspicious, genius."

Max huffed, rolling his shoulders. "Any advice, smartass?"

"Yeah. Keep driving. Act normal. And get somewhere public before they decide to make a move."

Max’s lips pressed into a thin line.

"Public, huh?"

His eyes flicked to an upcoming intersection. A plan was already forming.

"I know just the place."

"wait what do you mean? youre taking your other buddies to the secret places too? damn man thats cold. and here I thought i was your best friend. thats cold man." sam said offendedly.

Max rolled his eyes and tightened his grip on the wheel.

"Yeah, yeah, now shut up—I’m trying to concentrate."

"Fine, but just so you know, my feelings are deeply wounded."

Max ignored him, making a sharp turn onto a side street, his eyes flicking to the rearview mirror. The black SUV was still there.

Still following.

The tension in his gut coiled tighter. They weren’t even trying to be subtle anymore.

"Sam."

"Yeah?"

"Still got that feeling something bad’s about to happen?"

"Oh, absolutely."

Max’s knuckles were white against the wheel, his heart hammering as the so-called police car sped up behind him.

the sirens weren’t blaring.

that’s how he knew something was seriously wrong.

before he could react, the car slammed into him from the side.

“shit—!” the impact sent his car spinning, tires screeching against the asphalt. he yanked the wheel, trying to gain control, but the car was skidding—swerving—going straight for a row of parked cars.

and then— gunfire.

bullets ripped through his windshield.

“FUCK��” Max ducked, hands still gripping the wheel as glass shattered around him.

his earpiece crackled to life."MAX? MAX, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

"OH, I DON’T KNOW, SAM, MAYBE THE FACT THAT I’M BEING HUNTED LIKE A GODDAMN ANIMAL?!"

more bullets. more fucking bullets.

Max reached under his seat, grabbing his gun while still trying not to die.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? GET OUTTA THERE, MAN!" sam was stressed and sam is never stressing like this.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK I’VE BEEN TRYING TO DO, DIPSHIT? YOU’RE NO HELP AT ALL!"

Max yanked the wheel hard right, his car screeching around a corner. he wasn’t outrunning these guys—he needed to lose them.

he swerved into a crowded market street, narrowly avoiding a fruit stand. people screamed, diving out of the way. the Hydra agents weren’t slowing down.

and then he saw it— someone standing in the middle of the street.

dark tactical suit. black mask. rifle raised.

aiming right at him.

Max’s stomach dropped.

"Son of a—" BOOM. a bomb rolled under his car. a fucking bomb. Max didn’t think—he acted.

he threw himself out of the car.

the explosion sent him flying, heat licking at his back as his car flipped—twice—

before crashing onto its roof.

everything spun. pain shot through his ribs. his ears were ringing.

and when he looked up— the masked figure was standing over him. gun aimed right at his head.

fuck.

he reached for his gun— but the figure kicked it away.

the person,  now standing right in frint of him, spoke in a slow voice "не такой быстрый солдат."

Max swallowed thickly, mind racing.

he was unarmed. he was injured.

and this person— whoever the hell they were— was about to put a bullet in his head, but when they took a step closer-Max was already moving.

he lunged—grabbing a jagged piece of metal from the wreckage—and threw it.

It wasn’t a perfect shot. but it was enough.

the masked figure dodged—just barely—giving Max the one second he needed.

he ran.

ducking into the crowd, he kept his head low, weaving between people. He could still hear Hydra agents behind him, still felt the masked figure’s gaze burning into his back.

his earpiece crackled. "MAX?! WHAT HAPPENED?"

"change of plans buddy, im bringing the hell to you" max whispered

"FUCKING—WHY?!"

Max grinned despite the blood in his mouth. "because I think I just pissed off Hydra’s best assassin."

and she really, really wants me dead.

ONE HOUR LATER

By the time Max made it to Sam’s place, he was barely standing. His legs felt like cement. His ribs? Probably cracked. His head? Pounding.And the worst part? He had to walk the whole damn way here. An hour. On foot. Bleeding.

He slammed his fist against the doorbell and leaned against the doorway, gasping for air. The bleeding had mostly stopped, but his injuries? Way worse. His ribs throbbed under his torn hoodie, an ugly purple bruise spreading across his side.

His entire body screamed for rest, but his mind was still stuck in that moment.

The masked assassin. The bomb. The gun pointed at his head.

He swallowed hard, pushing the thought away.

The door swung open, and there was Sam—arms crossed, shaking his head.

“Jesus, Max.” Sam looked him up and down, unimpressed. “You’re always getting yourself into some dumbass situation.”

Max groaned, shuffling past him and immediately collapsing onto the couch.

Sam watched, unimpressed. “How are you still alive?”

Max waved a weak hand in the air. “I’m built different.”

Sam rolled his eyes, but a small smirk tugged at his lips as he walked toward the bathroom. “I swear, man. You’re like a goddamn cockroach.”

“Yeah, well, this cockroach just died and you weren’t there to help me. That’s low, Sam. Real low.”

Sam’s voice echoed from the bathroom. “Oh, I don’t know—maybe because I was screaming at you to get the hell out and you weren’t listening?!”

Max exhaled a tired laugh, running a shaky hand over his face. His body ached in places he didn’t even know could hurt.

A minute later, Sam returned, first aid kit in hand. He plopped down beside Max, flipping it open. “Need help?”

Max took one look at him and scoffed. “What, you wanna kiss it better?”

Sam shoved the gauze at his chest. “Fix your damn face, dumbass.”

Max chuckled weakly, winking as he grabbed the gauze and started patching up his busted eyebrow.

But then—Sam’s expression changed.

Something more serious.

He watched Max carefully. Too carefully.

“How’d they find you?” His voice was low, tense. “You’re careful. You don’t slip up. You don’t leave tracks. Did you—?”

Max immediately shook his head. “I didn’t do anything, Sam.”

Silence.

Sam didn’t look convinced.

Max swallowed, his hands suddenly trembling.

His voice was quieter when he spoke next.

“…Sam.”

Something about the way he said it— soft, uncertain, almost afraid— made Sam’s posture stiffen.

Max exhaled shakily, his jaw clenched.

“I think I found her.”

The words hit the room like a bomb.

Sam’s breath caught. He didn’t speak. Couldn’t.

Max turned to him, and for the first time in a long time—his eyes were glassy.

Raw. Torn between hope and devastation.

Sam opened his mouth. Closed it.

“…Max.”

Max looked down at his hands. “I don’t know if it was really her, but—” His voice cracked. He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his blood-matted hair.

“I think—I think she tried to kill me.”

And just like that—the world stopped.

The silence between them was heavy.

Max felt it—the way Sam shifted uncomfortably. The tension in his shoulders. The way he didn’t know what to say.

Max exhaled, forcing a chuckle as he adjusted his position, setting the first aid kit aside. He shouldn’t have said anything.

“Sorry, man,” he muttered, pushing himself off the couch. “Didn’t mean to make things weird.”

Sam immediately shook his head. “No, Max, it’s alright.”

But Max was already walking away. His throat felt dry, tight. He needed something, anything to pull his thoughts away from this.

He poured himself a glass of water, gripping the cup a little too tightly.

Sam hesitated, then exhaled. “Sorry that happened, man.” A small pause. Soft. Honest. “Wish I was there to save your ass.”

Max let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head.

“Yeah, huh.” He took a slow sip of water, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “And listen to this—I’m not even sure if that was her.”

His voice wavered.

Sam froze.

Max scoffed bitterly, rubbing at his face. “I don’t even know if that person was my sister. Or—or if that person was even a woman.”

He felt it before he realized it.

Tears. Hot, angry, silent. Grief clawed at his chest, raw and relentless. It wasn’t fair.

He had spent years—years—searching for her.

And now?

Now she was nothing but a shadow with a gun to his head.

He let out a hollow laugh, voice breaking.

“Sam… I—” His breath hitched. His hands clenched at the counter. “I don’t even know my sister.”

And that? That hurt worse than any bullet.

Sam didn’t hesitate this time.

He got up, crossed the room, and pulled Max into a hug.

Max stiffened, but only for a second.

Because, god—he needed this.

He let himself sink into it, gripping the back of Sam’s shirt like it was the only thing keeping him standing.

Sam didn’t say anything.

Didn’t tell him it’d be okay. Didn’t promise him things he couldn’t guarantee.

He just held him.

Because what else could he do?

Max’s hands clenched in Sam’s shirt, his voice a low, shaking whisper.

"I’m going to kill them all. Every last one of them. One by one."

Sam stiffened. He’d heard that tone before.

A promise. A death sentence.

Sam tightened his grip around Max and pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes.

"And I’m here to help you, buddy. Alright?" His hands gripped Max’s shoulders, grounding him. Holding him up. "Whatever you need—I’m here."

Max stared at him for a moment, really looked at him. And he realized—this man had been by his side through all of it.

The good, the bad. The moments where Max could barely hold himself together.

Sam had been there. Always.

A choked chuckle broke through Max’s lips. He wiped at his face, forcing the tears away. Enough of that.

"Yeah, well… we better get on with it soon," he muttered, straightening up. "Because I swear to god, Sam, I wanna feel their faces on my knuckles, y’know? Like Captain America. But the bad guy version."

Sam snorted, shaking his head as he clapped a hand on Max’s shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, dipshit. We’ll get to that." His voice softened. "But first? Clean yourself up. Get some rest."

Max frowned. "I’m fi—"

Sam pointed. "You walked in here with your head gushing blood. Go. Now."

Max huffed but didn’t argue. He muttered something about "bossy assholes" under his breath as he grabbed the first aid kit and disappeared down the hall.

Sam let out a breath, running a hand down his face. Jesus.

Max collapsed into bed, staring up at the ceiling, his whole body aching. His mind racing.

He had found her.

And he had lost her all over again.

His fingers curled into the sheets, his breath unsteady.

'I promise you—I’m going to save you. No one is going to stop me. Just wait for me. Please.'

His eyelids grew heavy.

Darkness pulled him under.

MEANWHILE

3 HOURS EARLIER

She stood still. Back straight, shoulders squared, breath even.

The suit was tight. Heavy. But it felt like nothing.

Because she felt nothing.

She had been given her equipment—knives, firearms, explosives—all perfectly placed, strapped to her like an extension of her own body. Like she had been born to carry them.

She hadn’t been born for this.

But she had been made for it.

And now, she stood in front of Vasily, waiting. For the command. For the only thing that mattered.

The girl she was before? She didn’t exist anymore.

The only thing left was this.

Cold. Ruthless. Empty. A weapon with one purpose.

To eliminate Max Harrison. Her brother. But she didn’t know that. She wasn’t allowed to know that.

Vasily took a step forward, studying her with sharp, hungry eyes. His voice was smooth, calculated. Testing her. Waiting for weakness.

“Тень?” Shadow?

Her response was instant. Programmed.

“Готов подчиняться.” Ready to comply.

Not a flicker of hesitation. No fear. No anger. No doubt.

She was perfect.

Vasily’s lips curled into something almost amused.

"Устранить цель. Медленно и устойчиво." Eliminate the target. Slow and steady.

He was watching her. Waiting for a crack in the armor. For a flicker of resistance.

Because he wanted her to break.

If she broke, he could put her back together again.

If she cracked, he could rip her apart and rebuild her.

Just like before.

But there was nothing.

No hesitation. No flicker of recognition.

Only the mission.

Only the orders.

“Да, сэр.” yes sir

And then she was gone.

To do the “right” thing.

She wasn’t alone. He was there, too. The infamous Winter Soldier. Silent. Unmoving. A shadow carved into flesh and metal.

Different mission. Same purpose.

Cold. Distant. Focused.

There was nothing behind his eyes. Nothing but the mission.

Just like her.

She turned her head slightly, her voice steady. Unshaken.

"Солдат." Soldier.

His response came instantly, without thought.

"Тень." Shadow.

No warmth. No familiarity. Just recognition. Just an echo of something long gone.

Because once, before all this, people had looked at them and said they were meant to be.

Perfect for each other.

But the universe had other plans.

It had torn them apart, piece by piece. Rebuilt them into ghosts. Into weapons sharpened to the breaking point.

And now?

They were together again—but not as people..As something else entirely.

Because it wasn’t like they had a choice.

And soon, the world would feel the weight of what they had become.

[piffleprattle]

"are you perhaps a wels main" guilty as charged! i can't remember for the life of me when i gave you info but to be fair i AM prone to random infodumps hhsjhhj. if you need to know anything about him i'm your guy, 2+ yr long hyperfix changed me as a person. also fun fact i've had a long conversation with him in discord dms once (it was the scariest experience of my life)

IVE CLOCKED YOU!! you gave me a lot of info on wels when i was talking about head cannoning that motherfucker with narcolepsy (unseen horizons we must venture) it was a wonderful infodump and you are welcome to do so again! whether it be in my askbox, tags or anything else lol, i like to read

FR?? i think i would die if i were to ever be in the presence of mr beans himself

but i dont really have any questions as much as this unending CURIOSITY

people often write him as this serious scary threatening figure and the little bit i have seen is just him being a regular dude, awkward, makes a few jokes, takes minecraft a bit too seriously, or, a very hermity-hermit! i dont get where the big dark angry guy comes from when he just seems like a dude who is way too into knightcore

why does scar, grian, etc get to be silly when wels is here all big and brooding??? i say either all or none, make them all serious or all a little silly, he just comes off as mean in a lot of fics its sad

i dont know how hard writing for someone is but i say watch at least a teensy bit of a video if you wanna be fairly accurate

but what is your take oh dearest wels mutual (trademarked)

[xryptik]

i was looking for fics to read and i came across someone who had tagged like all the x reader tags in their post and it was them talking about how "awful x reader fanfiction is" and it made me so sad. i dont remember what they were saying. i read for a moment and then scrolled because it almost ruined my mood.

but they said something along the lines of how "it cant fit everyone" and that the author isn't technically writing with anyone but themself in mind. and my immediate thought was "yeah, that's who fanfiction is created for".

we create to see what we want to see. whether that's fluff with us and the characters, romance of pining feelings, or some comfort that we or the characters might need, and sometimes it's just smut and that's alright! and then sometimes we share it, because what if there's other people who might want to see that too? who might want to read what we've written. people who aren't confident they can put their own writing abilities into something like that, so they go searching for someone who can, or has. and sometimes that inspires other people to create, to give a shot at writing the silly thoughts in their mind about characters and fandoms they love.

and sometimes they reach out to us! requests about scenarios with their favs because they believe we can capture their image, at least somewhat. and maybe it won't be perfect, but i believe it's still something beautiful. amazing even. because people's minds can be such an amazing thing, and here they are, coming up with goofy, sad, or even just steamy scenarios with their favs and putting them out there because they want others to experience their imagination.

the requests were probably one of my favorite things back on my old account, because while i had lost interest in the fandoms i was writing for, it wasn't because of the people reaching out to me to write out their ideas. yes, i was overwhelmed, but that was because interests change, and that happens. but i loved having someone come into my inbox to ask me to write a scenario they thought of, because they hoped i could write it in a way they so enjoyed. it made me so happy, that they enjoyed my writing and would share their imagination with me, so i could make it come to life.

it's okay to dislike the x reader genre of fanfiction, that isn't for everyone, but to shit on people who enjoy creating, who create for themselves and others?? that's just awful to do.

anyway i dont know if this made sense but it made me quite sad to see that post so here we are

[imaginespazzi]

hey so feel free to ignore this because im on my period and emotional as hell- but i saw your tag saying you dont even need to write anymore after being like THE og writer because of how much its blown up and i just went back to your old writing and scrolled down to see old posts and seeing how we weren't even sure they were dating and calling ourselves delusional and just HOW FAR WE VE COME and i just started sobbing like sobbing real tears so theres something wrong with me but anyway do you ever miss when it was just a few people here because i occasionally do and it makes me really sad but im also on my period and cried over dropping my almond earlier so sorry for venting in your inbox but ily youre my og

Aww lovie we're synced!

Listen I get emotional about how far we've come sometimes too because when I first started this blog (and I remember the exact moment cause it was in a state of misery right after that terrible Texas game and I was like fuck let me write myself out of my misery) it was still partially based on delusion. Like I was always 97% sure but there was always this what if they're not and I remember back then, I'd get a fair amount of anons (all blocked tee hee I wonder how they're feeling now) calling me insane for even thinking they were together and so I'd always add the caveat of if they are together to everything to keep myself protected lmao.

But I do miss those days sometimes. I'm not sure how, but them being more open has somehow roped in the more par asocial people now like back then, we were still a little parasocial don't get me wrong I'm very self-aware, but we were definitely not doing all the insanity that I see pop up nowadays. Everything's really blown up now which is nice in it's own way but I do miss when this community was smaller too. It had it's own little charm.

[syrupfog]

20 questions for fic writers

lmfao @newttxt tagged me at JUST THE RIGHT MOMENT for me to actually do this THANKS QUIP (i never actually remember to do tag memes im so sorry this will never happen again)

1) how many works do you have on ao3?

193, but only 9 One Piece fics (and 52 of those 193 are on anon)

2) what's your total ao3 word count?

1,289,789 :)

3) what are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Lamprophony I'm just gonna do the one piece fics here, because otherwise Lamprophony would be number one and all the rest would be from the [redacted] fandom 2. Quell 3. Filaments 4. Quatervois 5. Dolor

4) what fandoms do you write for?

ONE PIECE. AS FAR AS ANYONE KNOWS JUST ONE PIECE <- lying through my teeth it's so easy to find my other fandom but SHHHH

5) do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I tryyyyy but I'm very bad at it. Usually once every two years or so I go through and respond to everyone which I'm sure is very confusing for everyone involved

6) what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I canNOT handle an angsty ending oh my GOD. Maybe Quell but even that I mean. Sanji just gets his shit wrecked so I don't think it counts.

7) what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Supplicant :) (dkjfhdskjfsdkjfsdjk god i dunno NO FICS HAVE SAD ENDINGS SO IT COULD BE ANY OF THEM)

8) do you get hate on fics?

LMFAO I've been publishing fics for over a decade of course I get hate on fics.

9) do you write smut?

YES but this is the first fandom where I've been brave enough to post it off anon. Smut is scary :( what if people find out I wrote the word penis

10) do you write crossovers?

I love writing AUs but I don't think I could write a full crossover. Different media universes are just. Too different.

11) have you ever had a fic stolen?

NOPE.

12) have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah! Just once I think. I've had a ton podficced tho.

13) have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I did a round robin fic once where we had a rough idea of a plot and then like ten? writers all just passed it off to each other in a circle. I think I wrote a total of 3 sentences of it. Decent fic tho.

14) what's your all time favorite ship?

GOD not to be fucking basic as hell but. Lulawlu.

15) what's the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Okay first of all I don't care to put that sort of energy out into the universe no thank you. I DO have a MONSTER of a kilpen fic that I think will end up being like 50k (hey thats a monster for ME) but like. The outline itself is 10k at this point. So. It's been going a while.

16) what are your writing strengths?

Atmosphere I think? Actually, everybody always says banter. I can bust out a crack fic with 10/10 banter in like two hours flat. So unfortunately I do think it is banter.

17) what are your writing weaknesses?

I want to write the exact same storyline 500 times, and my embarassment about that keeps me from actually doing it. Please know in my heart I have thought up two different fics this WEEK in which the straw hats don't trust Law and he's an angsty mess about it.

18) thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

There's this one method of doing it where someone uses like html or what have you so tthat when you click the other language dialog, it translates into english so the reader can understand. And that's cool as HELL. I'm not really one for writing dialog in another language because I dont KNOW any other languages well enough to trust myself with it. My college degree is in Japanese and yet GOD I definitely dont trust myself to put it in a fic. I could maybe do Norwegian at this point after two years of studying it but like. For why.

19) first fandom you wrote for?

I've only written for two fandoms and uh. Shh. I can't do it I shant say

20) favourite fic you've ever written?

In this fandom? Maybe Ballast. I've reread it the most, for sure. Or, if we're including tumblr fic and not just ao3 (in which case we need to up the number of fics I've written from 9 to about 60) then the Race to the Beach.

TAGGING. Oh god do I know peoples URLS. @ghost-maya, @sualne, @cooknumber3, @blasphemlm

[kiawren]

Heyy it's been a while I went off tumblr to focus on studying (although I barely am) but I was still plagued with kiawren thoughts..

Ugh I should have slept instead of writing this but I've been listening to pierce the veil and this AU is on my mind. I have like one post here tagged #suneater!kiawren for it but here's what it is basically: kiawe and wren as ace and yamato from one piece respectively. Wren has the Tiangou devil fruit and kiawe obviously has the flame flame fruit. Which for non one piece ppl means they have those powers. And if you've got a zoan fruit you're a furry basically (For mythical zoans like the Tiangou (a tiangou fruit is not in canon btw, but yamato has a similar mythical dog fruit) honestly have whatever the fuck powers you could just go ham with the lore to give them some op in universe power (idk this is from I've watched so far) so Wren can turn into a dog and also eat the sun or whatever I don't car I'm just writing that for kiawren don't care about the meta

Anyway so wren falls in love with kiawe in this AU. And in one piece I think yamato and ace only actually spent one night together? I think they loved each other though, maybe not necessarily romantic. And maybe it was more yamato. And I relate to that one sided desire to be near someone. Anywayyy Yamato is chained to an island and trapped, I didnt specify that wren is similarly chained but he also has certain ambitions he can't reach yet. And kiawe reminds him of those ambitions. And how it may be possible to reach them. And he wants to go with him. Obviously also reflecting irl me LOL ok. One piece spoilers here...

Ace dies so maybe kiawe does too iddk? I don't want him to die but just remove him from wren's life it's vague what happened to him but anyway that dog is gonna be so sad he's gone. And his hope and ambitions are crushed. And keep the vivre card scene (your vivre card burning means you're dying) I can be trusted to be normal about this scene and its composition and colours dont worryy also cuz burning. Is a motif here.

OKAY HERE'S THE WRITING I GOTTS SHUT UO

—————

When you first saw him, his form ablaze among those tiger-vermilion fires, did you not think it surreal, like seeing the sun, right in front of you. How alluring it was, how intimate. Merely recalling it feels like trying to remember a dream. Like trying to reach a sun, that taunts you with every sunset. You cannot reach what you want. All the colour in the world, and what are you? But he turned to you then. The flames grew gentler. He smiled. And it struck you. Less like a lightning bolt, more like sunlight after stepping out of shade. It made you lightheaded. In front of you was someone who could embody fire. But not in unbridled rage, or blind passion. He had all the strength of a sun's heat, but also a heart. He was not pure heat. He was warmth. And it drugged you. And you would spend the rest of your days chasing it, to bask in it. Not in it's whole. Just a sliver. You were just a like a dog. Dizzy, desperate. 

You are still a dog. It didn't take a fruit to make you a self-fulfilling prophecy. You were already a creature, but a smaller body housed grief perfectly next to pride. You would have done anything to see that sun again. That sweet, sweet fruit and its enlightenment. You could climb and climb. You could finally reach those skies, their blood red and bruise purple a naked mirror of your dying ambition. So you could only do one thing. Climb higher. Feel the heat. Is it just like an embrace? ...I've missed you so much. Higher still. It starts to burns. It only feeds a high. You start to cry. Higher, You're close. It's blinding. You see white. That's not death. It's life. You're right in front of it. Here you are. This is it. Widen your jaws. Wider. More. The flames kiss your mouth. It burns and bleeds. It almost feels like a communion. It will feel holy. Now place your mouth around it. This will be it.

It does not feel that big now that you have it. Where are you? Anguish boils like bile from your gut in your mouth. You close your jaws. You hope it brings catharsis. You hope he finds you. He doesn't. And there's no relief. It just stings. It just burns. That ugly grief you had culminates. You have him. So where is he. You have the sun in your mouth, and it burns. YOU HAVE THE SUN IN YOUR MOUTH AND. IT BURNS. WAS THIS THE RAPTURE YOU WANTED? IT BURNS. YOU HAVE THE SUN IN YOUR MOUTH AND YOU TASTE DEATH. THE TISSUE BLEEDS AND DRIPS RED, BLACK. IT ALL BURNS. WHERE IS HE, WHERE IS HE. EVERY SCAR BLISTERS LIKE LAVA AND YOUR LIPS DRIP LIKE BLOODY RAIN. YOUR MOUTH MELTS AND TEARS APART. 

THIS WAS NOT THE SUN YOU LOVED, YOU BLIND, DYING DOG.

[qoldenskies]

Hello!!

My apologies for not commenting on your recent canary continuity updates, I did read them and I very much enjoyed!!

I thought it'd be easier to make a tumblr account to ask questions, interact, and support your work more readily than my usual "I'm here, I'm here!!" comments. Apologies if they've gotten dry lmfaoo

I am unsure if you've answered this before, but may I ask what your writing process is? I've made a pseud on ao3 in preparation for some major ideas I have, but for literal years I've enjoyed the ideas and concepts I think up, while being unable to understand how to write them into scenes, and of course stitch those scenes together smoothly. Of course, nothing is as beneficial as personally practising and developing my own style, but if you don't mind sharing tips, advice, etc. I'd greatly appreciate it!

Sorry for my waffling, warbling, yapping.. I'll try to be as active on tumblr as I am on other platforms ejzbwbshebdb

- Basil

OMG HI!!! your "im here" comments always mean a lot to me because i do notice the absence of consistent commenters and it makes me a little sad lmfao (and also worried like .... was i less impressive. do i need to lock in. do i have extreme social anxiety and like fourty other issues? probably yes to all three /silly)

i stg can my computer trying to convince me its spelled "forty" idc if im american that will NEVER be correct knock it AWFFFF

OKAY OKAY

i think a really good piece of music can go a long way for getting ideas. i discovered and rediscovered a lot of music while making cc, and honestly it really helped me plot out a lot of big scenes,,, imagining little animatics to music is surprisingly a net positive for me LOL

after that i tend to just write down every big thing i have plans for; it's not bad to start with only one scene! in a very very early draft for canary continuity, the curse was originally meant to account for the attack at the end of CL, and it was always meant to go EXACTLY like that. i cannot remember exactly what changed my mind and made me decide to do slowburn, but i actually think it was in the wake of CU doing pretty well i was like "what if i played around with the premise but his insecurities were actually right" and now here i am. 180k words into this thing.

anyways

when it comes to oneshots (and longer chapters, in the case of the final two CW chapters) i tend to just make a checklist of what i want for the scenes and kind of shuffle them around until i find something cohesive. for multichapters, i tend to do a checklist of things i want to happen/establish/progress per chapter; for the first ten chapters of CW or so, it was mostly me wanting to address certain things before going forward and getting into the meat of the plot. sometimes these things can be wildly different, the point is just seeing if i can string them together into a coherent chapter, especially if im going for something that isnt so action-packed like the case is for a good portion of CW haha

and if im struggling with it still, sometimes i'll write a full summary of a chapter kind of like id be describing/summarizing an episode of a tv show i watched. i get unserious with it sometimes, its okay to be silly.

and for dialogue-heavy scenes i DO recommend scripting before filling out dialogue tags/actions/etc!! it helps keep the conversations directed and coherent, for me at least. and sometimes it makes it get longer and longer which ngl i consider a treat ... Content,, im thinking all of wwww is going to be written like this first, i'll just include action and stuff in my script. i'll see how it turns out!

ALSO recommendation from me to you, its a winning formula when REALLY starting projects that you dont have to start with a bunch of exposition. in the case for both canary continuity AND coming undone i just kind of slapped the reader in the middle of a scene and it turned out just great!! the setup doesn't always have to be super detailed and can always be fleshed out in later scenes. i notice writing a good beginning is always the hardest thing for me so that's the best advice i can give LOL

sorry im not sure how helpful this is, but here's what i got! i just kind of do whatever works and i take a lot of notes for my ideas, which are usually pretty. lol deranged and scattershot

[skreebs]

Thinking about the ableism toward Jouno in the BSD fandom and it genuinely pisses me off so badly I want to hit people. I’ll be perusing the tag and looking at stuff and then I’ll see some random pop ups for AO3 and get shit like this

Now I don’t 100% know the context of this screenshot, for all I know this fic could be about him before he lost his sight, but either way it got me thinking and thinking got me angry and being angry means i need to complain. Jouno is already pretty shit blind rep, I’ll be honest. He’s the basic stereotype of “blind character has super senses because they’re blind” but can we give blind people literally ANYTHING else??? jesus christ. I’m pissed how BSD writes his blindness so as per usual I had to attempt to fix all of that myself, but attempting to fix it and removing it entirely are NOT the same and one is VERY MUCH SO WORSE. Again, not talking about this fic specifically but other ones I’ve seen that do this, or those “Jouno if he could see” edits. Spoiler alert, blind people can open their eyes.

I dont know why BSD and every other piece of media is so adamant on not giving visually impaired and blind characters white canes and just giving them "super senses" to get around it. It’s incredibly stupid and abelist to portray stuff like this. Disabilities are not super powers and thank GOD they didnt make that his ability but they still gave him that aspect and I guess it can be excused with SOME lore stuff like maybe he got really good senses from his surgeries but it just sucks that it happened that way at all? And then they don't even touch on how horrible having incredibly hightened senses to the point you can HEAR blood would be?? can you imagine hearing everyone internal organs around you 24/7 EVERYDAY? No one talks about that at all. That would be so fucking overwhelming its genuinely insane. Jouno is such a dear character to me, but genuinely when I remember him in canon without any of my headcanon explinations it’s just really sad that all I can say about him as representation is "well.. it could be worse".

I know there’s going to be at least one person saying “theres good blind rep in other shows though!!” Yes! I know! I’m super glad about that! But ignoring the bad ones doesn’t help much. You need to point out the issues to get good results. Recently, and by recently I mean about 17 hours ago, I watched/listened to the first episode of Daredevil, once with audio descriptions, and then after I watched without AD and had captions. I’m super glad that things are more commonly getting AD—it’d be a bit pathetic if the show with a blind main character was not accessible to blind people—but even with Daredevil, Matt still falls a bit into this stereotype.

Don’t get me wrong, seeing a character with a white cane has me absolutely elated, but from the single episode I’ve seen and what I’ve heard, he apparently also has some sort of super senses, and I know in the first episode he can hear heartbeats. I think super senses as a power is fine, but it’s just the fact they always give it to the blind characters. I, myself, am not blind, nor am I really visually impaired, I just wear glasses. However, as someone with a special interest in disabilities and also as someone that is disabled in other ways, seeing disabled rep fall into stereotypes over and over just really bums me out sometimes.

I think Daredevil is great so far from this one episode, I’ll probably be looking at more of it, but that is definitely just one gripe I have with it. I think Charlie Cox putting a bunch of effort into the role with the method acting and talking to people in the blind community and just all of that is amazing, I love to see that in anything, it’s just urrghh that it’s so hard to find a blind character that doesn’t have some kind of insane superpower senses with things. It reminds me of when characters with autism are so frequently portrayed as geniuses or their autism is only acceptable if it helps the neurotypical cast with “gadgets” or something. I dunno. Hard to explain, it’s 11 at night and I’m tired. Just don’t be ableist in any fandom or in real life. I shouldn’t have to even point out why this shit is disgraceful.