#it’s a problem. like a legit mental health one

[padfootastic]

my sirius & harry thought of the day:

harry kept that firebolt alive for all 137 years of his remaining life through sheer willpower and magical strength. he did not let a single twig of it die off. not only was he absolutely unhinged about taking care of it, not letting anyone near it after 5th year, but he also basically single-handedly reinvented the field of broom-crafting just so he could keep his godfather’s gift to him alive. he didn’t do anything with this skill, basically driving everywhere who knew him spare bc !!! ‘harry do u know what u just did? most brooms don’t last over 6-7 years, not even a fraction of that if used at the pace and frequency as u. if u could just—‘

and he just flat out shuts them up bc how does he tell them that the reason his firebolt is still alive is bc sirius’ love runs thru it and harry would die himself before he let it bc he can’t lose the last piece of sirius he has left. he cannot perform this miracle on any other broom, tho he can probably make the single best non-sirius-gifted broom that the WW has ever seen just bc of how extensive his knowledge is now

and the thing, right, is he doesn’t keep the firebolt locked up in some display like some artefact. sirius would’ve never wanted that. his dad would’ve hated it. brooms were meant to be flown. so fly, he does. wonderfully. it’s forever his primary broom and he puts it thru all the paces, keeping up with all sorts of newer, flashier, pro models w utter ease.

it’s like this: when he uses this firebolt, it feels like perhaps he has his godfather back for just a second. and harry is forever weak to that feeling.

[daily-lightbulbii]

(//i don't normally do text but cw in the tags erm. i went a little off track)

[lastoneout]

Actually am still kinda pissed that my fiancé's psychatrist evaluated him for anxiety and said he didn't have it but then was like "in the future I'd like to see you make enough progress with your anxiety that you feel comfortable taking your mask(N95 not neurodivergent mask) off" and didn't seem to care when he explained that his fiancé(me) has several severe chronic illnesses and immune issues so we both do what we can to ensure I don't get sick with any illness, not just covid. Like does he have anxiety or not?? You can't have it both ways buddy!! And like it or not protecting a vulnerable person from getting sick is logical, YOU'RE the one being irrational here.

Like this is why I get pissed about mask(N95) stuff, people have legit fallen into some kind of thought-terminating cliché about covid and all other contagious diseases not being a problem anymore to the point that they think even sick people and their loved ones taking reasonable precautions to protect their health is a sign of anxiety and paranoia. I truly do not get it. Like it's one thing if you personally don't want to wear a mask(N95) but at least leave people who do alone, but legit acting like people like me are insane for doing something that makes perfect sense is turning me into the Joker. It doesn't even work to say "oh I have asthma and allergies and the air quality is bad today" or "I'm having an important surgery soon and need to make sure I don't get sick" like they think wearing a mask(N95) AT ALL in any circumstance for any reason means you've legit lost your mind.

I genuinely feel like the government suddenly started hiding all the national car crash statistics and insisted in tons of press conferences that crashing your car is actually perfectly fine and not a big deal at all and wearing a seatbelt isn't something healthy people need to worry about, so now everyone thinks it's silly to wear one and every time I do I have to deal with people implying or outright stating that I'm legitimately mentally ill and need an intervention.

[dropintomanga]

Takopi's Original Sin of Toxic Positivity

Years ago, when I was dealing with a bad case of depression that made me really hate myself, I decided to take a total shift in perspective in feeling better. I read a book about how being positive actually does not help all the time with negative situations and how positivity is used to victim-blame people for problems they can't handle individually. Since then, I've noticed more of a resistance towards on positive psychology being touted as an absolute solution to life's problems.

And then comes this manga that sums up my experiences with the cons of positive psychology. With an anime coming out this year, it's time we take a look at a really great manga in Taizan5's "Takopi's Original Sin."

Oh yeah, there's some heavy stuff incoming after the jump.

The 2-volume story focuses on a little alien from a planet called Happian nicknamed Takopi. His job is to promote happiness all throughout the universe. One day, Takopi travels to Earth and meets a 4th grader named Shizuka. Shizuka is revealed to be a very depressed girl who is bullied at school by a classmate named Marina. Takopi notices how sad Shizuka is all the time and tries desperately to cheer her up as that's his job. However, all Takopi does is makes things much worse as everything he does leads to death and misery for those he involves himself with. All for the sake of making someone happy.

So for those who don't know, toxic positivity is the total suppression of anything negative in your life. "Oh, you're having a bad day? Just cheer up. You need to pick up your boot straps and stop crying. Sorry, good vibes only. Hey, there's a silver lining to all of this." I'm sure many of us have heard things like that by a good amount of people. Statements like this are made in cultures that are highly individualistic (like the U.S. for example). Also, even great things like body positivity can turn into toxic positivity as there are people who do want to express legit anger and frustration at terrible things about themselves or something that may not sustainable for them.

When you look at Takopi, he is literally toxic positivity despite his kindness. He says and does things without thinking about reality. In the first chapter, Takopi hands a long ribbon from his planet to Shizuka in one of their first meetings and Shizuka uses it to hang herself. And it's noted that Takopi is not supposed to give his planet's gifts to anyone outside of his planet. Takopi resorts to resetting time loops in order to make Shizuka happy and alive. Takopi also tries to make up with Shizuka's bully, Marina, thinking that talking it out will make things better. He does this by pretending to be Shizuka, only to realize that Marina has trauma of her own that can't be solved by simple reconciliation.

The story heats up near the end of Volume 1 as Takopi accidentally kills Marina with one of his gadgets to Shizuka. This unfortunately involves a male classmate, Naoki, who becomes an accomplice due to him having a crush on Shizuka and wanting to be close with her. Naoki also has his own family issues and ends up turning himself in. Takopi pretends to be Marina to cover up for the murder, but sees how bad Marina's home situation really is. Shizuka is distraught about the lack of her father in her life and resorts to travel to Tokyo to find him, only to see him with kids born from his new wife.

Seeing a now-warped Shizuka, Takopi remembers something that was important to him - he once met Marina when she was in high school and tried to make her happy. Marina wanted to be with Naoki as his girlfriend until Shizuka came into the picture. Naoki decides to go with Shizuka instead out of genuine concern for her mental health, but that decision ruins Marina's life as she ends up killing her mentally unstable mother in self-defense. Marina blames Shizuka for her life being the way it is and Takopi decides to travel back to the time period where all the central characters were in 4th grade to kill Shizuka for Marina's happiness. However, this draws the ire of Takopi's mother in Happian. As punishment, Takopi faces a permanent ban from his home planet and his memories would be erased when he goes to visit 4th grade Shizuka.

If you ever want to see a fictional example of someone who believes the power of positivity can solve family trauma and fail at it hard, what I said above sums it all. It's uncomfortable to see Takopi try to use his planet's gadgets thinking that they can stop emotional pain. It's even more uncomfortable when Shizuka, Marina, and Naoki all go through harsh moments as 4th graders because their parents never gave them the love they really needed.

The more I think about Takopi's Original Sin, the more I think about how people generally aren't good at tackling someone's pain. Most toxic positivity is unintentional. Sometimes, what we do is we're trying to make sure we're okay rather than the person in pain. Boundaries are important, sure. But then I think that doesn't mean you're truly listening and being present with them. I also think that we try to reassure ourselves that we won't end up like them and sometimes say the wrong things to get us away from dealing with negative emotions.

We all can't be therapists, but therapists aren't enough to make someone whole and actually happy. Takopi is an example of a therapist with so much standardized knowledge, but is unprepared to be contextually sensitive when he needs to be.

The ending of Takopi's Original Sin highlights Takopi's admittance to the fact that he never once tried to understand Shizuka. He realizes how flawed humans are even when they show kindness to others. In an earnest attempt to set things right, Takopi does one more time loop at the cost of his life and he subtly nudges Shizuka and Marina to actually become friends during an incident where Shizuka is about to be killed by Marina. The story ends on a happy note with Shizuka and Marina becoming quite close many years later.

Takopi proclaims that talking brings happiness more than any solution/device would. While I did say that simple reconciliation isn't enough, talking helps when there's a shared commonality brought out in a safe manner. In previous situations involving Shizuka and Marina, everything was about how different each other was. Takopi decided to become the commonality that the girls shared. Just like in real life, once you get past all the differences, the dynamic changes and things slowly become better.

The grand message is basically that life sucks a lot sometimes. It would be nice if we had people in our lives that are willing to acknowledge the cruelty of life and sit with us through it. We can't and shouldn't try to be superheroes. Trying to force a immediate solution to solve problems doesn't always bring the happiness someone really wants. I don't think people who have been (or going) through a lot want someone to save them at times. They just want a companion to be compassionate with them, actively listen to their complaints, and hear their cries.

Time doesn't always heal wounds. It's what we do with that time that matters. We can use that time wisely and patiently without sin to create a much better dose of happiness that embraces all emotions.

[lemonchips]

this ask is soooo self-indulgent BUT do u ever plan on making wolf-related shit again? on one end i understand why u'd wanna never touch it publicly EVER again what w/ ur quasi-prophetic status held by doomed yaoi types or whatever... but on another end i'm so curious on how the wolf kids would look in ur newer style + how u'd go abt certain aspects of the story nowadays as an actual adult. like i just think u'd blow it out of the park

HIII!!! i DO wanna make wolf content again and im not opposed to making it anymore as much as i did a few months ago when i took a little hiatus, but i got in some hot water recently on twitter over me making a boundary with the designs i had and it got misinterpreted as Me being an asshole and calling out people who don’t like my shit even tho that… wasn’t… the point….anyway.. there are some slight design tweaks i wanna make, mostly on salem but like nothing crazy. i don’t think ive ever actually Drawn drawn her in my actual art style and not my simplified animation one. FUNNY ENOUGH rusty is the one song that’s always stumped me cuz i’ve always wanted to animate it but i could Never Get It Right. and the one time i Did have an animatic for it the file got corrupted and i just gave up LMAO. sorry if my answer is a little all over the place i legit just had this convo w my partner the other day. i wish i could make animating and creating tyler art was a priority again but as i get back into my uni art groove along with getting comments from ppl who don’t know anything about how animation works asking me to animate This song or This one and Why have i been gone so long it really just mentally drains me Along with me already having some really bad mental health problems and for the longest i didn’t feel happy making content or interacting in tyler spaces. i still don’t really feel fully comfortable in those spaces as it always feels like im the elephant in the room. which really sucks because when i was younger i ALWAYS wanted the wolf trilogy to have some sort of fandom i could interact with and like, be friendly with. but as ive gotten older and some shit has happened to me i don’t feel as comfortable putting myself out there. a lot of the art i’ve been making currently is almost like me making up for lost time because of me being absent for so long / busy making art for college. sorry about the tangent. anyway, i’ve always interpreted wolf Very seriously and i think even now i understand it more than i did before and i can actually like. Draw the characters how i wanted them to look vs when i first drew them when i was like 14/15, and i have the time currently until august to kinda do fuck-all until i leave again for uni. making wolf content in the past was always very self indulgent and i didn’t really think people could interpret my animations the wrong way because i would assume they at least Listened to the album and had an idea of the characters. and again i was like i think 16-17 when i made a huge chunk of the wolf ones specifically. i do plan on animating them again, i think i just need to plan a bit more than i do for my other stuff just because i care about it so much. rusty and 48 have always been songs that i wanted to animate but i literally did not have the skills to even touch those songs, but those i reaaaaally really wanna do. i did draw sam the other day as a warmup, he is kind of my go-to character to draw at all times. right now im working on something cherry bomb related so probably after that i’ll focus on wolf again (not cuz of ur ask but because i do miss making content). again im so sorry if this answer is kinda everywhere, i have garbage of the mouth … :>

[tea-and-secrets]

It's so fucking funny seeing people go "Ew if you're into [kink I don't like] you need to go to a mental health professional!"

I've been to three therapists and told all of them about the badwrong, yucky, problematique kinks I'm into and literally every single one of them has gone "Cool! As long as you're being safe and not hurting yourself or anyone else then that's not a problem :)"

I've talked to multiple friends about this and all of them have said the exact same thing. Their therapists literally do not care because it's not causing actual distress or harm.

Like I'm legit curious, what do y'all expect them to do? How do you think this works? Do you think therapists will learn about someones incest kink or whatever and then tell them what a disgusting freak they are and shame them until their kink magically disappears?

You people have literally no idea how therapy works or why it's used lmao

.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hiya sex witch

Hope ur having a good one!

I have a sexual health question. Im 28yo M and am as far as i am aware overall healthy, but sometimes i have trouble orgasming during sex, but rarely during masturbation. Im aware that contrary to popular belief men dont always orgasm 100% of the time and that there is nothing wrong with having difficulty with "keeping it up" so long as its not health related (i dont usually have difficulty with this part specifically, i just feel from experience that some times this is forgotten among people so i wanted to mention that)

I enjoy sex with my partners and im mentally very in the mood for it! Im not really nervous and havent felt pressured with them but some times it takes a very long time for me to finish, like more that 1.5 hours and up to 2 or 3 one time, and understandably my partners dont usually want to go that long lol i also find it frustrating because i feel the need around the 30-40minute mark but like i dont get that final push if that makes sense?

I did online searching and most answers are kinda wishy washy about causes other than excess masturbation, ive cut down on masturbation because alot of places say that that can be a cause but i only masturbated like once or twice a week and now im down to twice a month but it still happens.

Ive also heard that a too tight circumcision can lead to desensitisation and is what im kinda thinking this might be, i was circumcised at birth and have what the forskin restoration website ( www.restoringforeskin.org ) says is a RCI-0 or maybe RCI-1 which are considered super tight or tight respectively, both of which can lead to lack of sensation. And am considering maybe working on restoring my foreskin due to this, but i wanted your opinion on how like legit this all is considering it kinda sounds idk farfetched to me? Like being able to just stretch the skin back out with tape, is that even a thing? And does this sound like a possible cause?

Thanks for all your hard (no joke intended)'work and ur also awsome!

P.S. tumblr is being fucky on my phone all the time so if this is not anonymous please ignore/dm me to say make it anonymous again or whatever tanks

hi anon,

thank you so much for your question! it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it already, and it was very interesting to read.

I have some hesitation in declaring that something is physically the matter with your penis, mainly because you mention that orgasm tends to come at a much more typical speed when you're masturbating. in the case of a physical problem I'd usually expect to see similar results whether you were having sex solo or partnered, which to me suggested it might be more of a mental/emotional blockage here?

but, having said that: I'm not a healthcare provider! and it sounds like a visit with one to discuss your observations might be really beneficial at this point.

while foreskin restoration is a thing, it's also a thing that doesn't have much research backing it up, and long-term results aren't very well known. consulting with a urologist before attempting a restoration sounds like it would be a great idea for you, as they could help confirm whether your foreskin is the problem and advise you on safely practicing restoration if it's an appropriate treatment. or, if that isn't the case, they're likely to have a much better idea about what else might be causing your situation.

best of luck!

[bitchesgetriches]

Dear blessed Bitches-- I haven't had a normal, civilian job in over a year since I lost my last one due to depression. I've been scraping by on my funds from s*xw*rk, but lol depression makes that hard to muster up the effort required to be successful. At this point, I think I'd like to return to the general workforce if only part-time. Problem is, I'm really, really apprehensive/anxious about the prospect. I don't know how to explain this gap of conventional employment on my resume! Any tips?

Resume gap? What resume gap? You were "working part-time providing personal services while managing a health condition."

While societal stigma might not agree, sex work is indeed WORK. And taking a break to manage your mental health is a legit medical reason to not be working full-time. Rather than explain a "resume gap," you need to reframe this legitimate experience in a way that will get around our societal stigmas against both sex work and mental illness.

Here's more on how to do that, my lamb:

How to Frame Volunteering on Your Resume When You’ve Never Had a Job 

Ask the Bitches: “I Took a Career Break to Care For Someone. How Do I Explain My Caregiving Resume Gap?” 

Did we just help you out? Join our Patreon!

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Why do you think they don't show Marinette comforting other characters? It's always been a weird writing decision to me, and I sometimes wondered if I was legit just erasing all the times it happened out of my memory or smth. Like the first character trait established for her is she struggles to say no to people, she is a people-pleaser. And there isn't a better way to make ur mc lovable than showing how they effect the people around them. AND it would make her breakdowns genuinely heartbreaking, because she keeps giving and giving and it's a genuine flaw. Like, she rushed off to comfort Ivan in Origins, right? We should have had more of that. I'm reminded of that one Lady Wifi (i think?) scene where Ladybug is smiling at her adoring fans and the camera while Chat Noir is in the background actually comforting a child lmao. It just feels so weird, because I think Marinette IS actually supposed to be someone who does that, who provides that comfort to her loved ones all the time (even at the cost of her own mental health, boom, an actual thing she can work towards). But we just keep getting the reverse instead. She just kinda feels like a shit friend? Showing that emotional labor would also make her exhaustion work because like, what does the guardian even DO? Tell not show, but they ain't telling shit.

One of the things that drew me to Miraculous is the fact that the show tends to write the characters in non-standard gender roles, so I actually like the fact that Marinette tends to be more of a fixer than a comforter. She drives people to action and wants to solve problems and is very good at taking the weight of the world on her shoulders, but she kind of sucks at emotional vulnerability and comforting people. It's genuinely a good flaw for her character and a lovely thing to see in a show aimed at girls. No, we don't all need to be stereotypically maternal figures. Women can be just as bad as men stereotypically are when it comes to emotions!

The problem is that the show is obsessed with Marinette holding every important role in the story, meaning that we don't get a more emotionally aware character or characters to balance her out. Nor do we get to see her learn that this is a flaw of hers and either improve or just own that she's bad at this and learn to trust someone else with these types of issues. (This is one of the many things I think Adrien should have been allowed to do, btw. Ladybug is the brains, Chat Noir should be the heart.) We also don't get a true sense of Marinette's struggles because the show's formulaic nature rarely allows for those types of problems.

The Lila thing is a good example. Lila says that she's going to destroy Marinette's friendships, but she literally can't do that because that would mean changing the way the characters relate on a massive scale and formula shows can't do that. So instead of seeing Marinette struggle as Lila lies and manipulates everyone into hating Marinette, we get extremely annoying episodes where Lila lies and everyone believes her, but no one gets all that upset at Marinette's constant accusations. They just treat it as a minor quibble which is actually more aggravating than Lila changing the status quo in my opinion.

There's also the issue that you brought up: we don't see Marinette truly struggling to be the guardian, so her new role doesn't feel like a big deal. Not much changes for her save for the kwamis being around now. We don't even know what her relationship with Master Fu was really like because he was barely ever on screen so we really don't feel her loss.

All of this is just another problem to lay at the feat of our ever-present issue: Miraculous does not have the right conflicts and characters for a formula show. Formula shows thrive off of things being lighthearted and the heroes lacking major flaws. Miraculous chose to make things somewhat serious and give everyone flaws that are just begging to be address, but that can't be because this is the wrong format for that type of thing.

In a team show where character arcs were a thing or even just one where character dynamics were a thing and Marinette was allowed to share the screen in a more balanced manner, then everything about her would work fine. She's set up perfectly for that kind of show. She is not set up for a formula show where she's basically the only character that matters outside of the villains. If that's what they wanted to write, then Marinette needed to be limited to minor flaws that never last more than an episode or at least limited to flaws that are purely situational such as being stubborn or the classic sudo-flaw of being clumsy that the show already embraces.

[copperbadge]

Hello, Mr. Badge, I seem to remember that you once posted about your processes and systems for staying organized in life with Excel spreadsheets etc. I’ve been struggling a lot with depression and executive dysfunction issues and don’t want it to impact my work.

Do you use the same processes at work? I get overwhelmed with the amount of documentation we have and the exceptions to the rules in our processes.

I'm so sorry you're struggling! It's really rough, and the more complicated the task feels, the more fraught it seems, the harder it is to even get a start. I feel that hard.

As for organizing work like my home life....well, it's sort of the same. I don't make a strong distinction between life and work simply because a lot of what needs organizing in my life IS my work, so it's tough to talk about them separately.

For example, I use Google Tasks to build a to-do list each day, but that to-do list starts with "stuff I'll do before work" then "shower" then all my work stuff, then "evening" and then all the stuff to do after work, ending with "7pm chores" (because I have a lot of stuff to do right around 7pm, which I need to post about elsewhere). Then the stuff I've pushed off to next day is below that, and that just bumps up the next morning. What's important isn't really how I keep the list, but that I keep it in a way that is constantly accessible, and I've trained myself to 1. put everything on it, even stuff like "grocery shop" and 2. check it whenever I feel lost. I don't find google calendars very helpful, however, so while work makes me use one for meetings, everything else goes on a calendar I made in Google Sheets that I'm just super used to by now.

It sounds like you're having a fairly specific issue, which may not even be related to your mental health (though assuredly the mental health issues aren't helping). If you have a lot of confusing documentation and exceptions in the stuff you do at work, that can be legit stressful even for someone who isn't dealing with other stuff, so I just want you to know that this may not only be a You Problem. My problem is usually the opposite, in that I'm often the first person doing something, or the only person who's done it in a while, so there's no documentation at all. But when I do have documentation I often will simply rewrite it.

After all, just because you have a handbook doesn't mean you have to use it. You can copy it over into another document and make yourself a step-by-step guide and/or a checklist. Like, I do our holiday cards every year, and my "HOLIDAY CARDS" document says "Here's the first thing you do, here's the second, do this before going past that, check this before asking for that". Literally at one point the document says "Stop. Before you go any further, do this step. Even if you don't understand why, do this step" because in the past I've disregarded that instruction ("Why on earth would I do it this way?") and lived to regret it.

Making the guide really, really sucks. Often it will take me four or five passes at a project before my guide is comprehensive (this is my fifth year doing the holiday card project and the document still has some steps missing at the end). But once you have it, it's invaluable, and often in the past I've found other people want my guides because they're fairly clear and precise about what needs doing when. For example, you might say, "Open the file and move column B to in front of column A. NOTE: THERE IS ONE EXCEPTION, THIS IS THE EXCEPTION." Or "Once you've saved the file, save a second copy to your backup folder so you can go back to it if you delete something you shouldn't. Stop and check: is this file from before or after October? If after, remember, you have to also rename it." If you find that there's a mistake you make frequently, figure out what would stop you from making it and add that in.

(We had a guy at work whose last name was VERY long and Italian, and so when I was working phones he got a special entry in the directory document I made -- the first line was all his directory info and the second line was just the phonetic pronunciation of his last name. He found out, which I had never intended him to do, and lost his shit laughing. "No wonder you're the only one who gets it right!")

So my recommendation to you is to create your own handbook, your own templates, and your own way of doing things and just slip that back into the system you have at work. Draw a diagram by hand if you need a flow chart. My approach to all my organizational issues has always been "What would make me do this correctly / prevent me from doing that thing wrong / remind me what to do / make it easier for me to start".

I think of this nowadays as the "Take the cupboard doors off" school of organizing, because to really make full use of my kitchen in a way that I liked, I had to take some of the cupboard doors off. It looks messier and kind of cheap, but it's actually a much more organized system now, and who's in my kitchen other than me?

[victusinveritas]

what happened when you put on the mask?

Story time: Well, years ago, I found a hand carved wooden mask with sharkskin (maybe sealskin or something, I'm not a skin and hide expert) covering the face except for the eye and mouth slits--it looked vaguely Inuit or northern Native American, I showed it to several anthropologists including one specializing in witchcraft and magic and he refused to touch it. That should have been my first clue, and it was, for a while. I put it in a big velvet bag and left it alone. Had some bad mask-related dreams though. Just like jogging through the woods, no fear or worry, and then BAM mask. Months and months go by. I mostly forget about it, it's just another thing I found thrifting along with my collection of grail-shaped objects (including one actual Communion chalice that I ended up giving to a priest I knew once I realized it was legit), a full-on longbow (I don't have it anymore, gave it to a friend who really liked it and bailed my ass out of trouble a few times), and other things like that, mostly Allied WWII ephemera that I collected in honor of my grandfather.

Then one day my girlfriend is coming over so I realize I need to clean things up and make it look less like a shaman's study and more, you know, a place my girlfriend wouldn't mind lifting her skirt in. Into the closet most of the stuff goes. The mask had been on a shelf in velvet, just sitting there, forgetting what was in the bag, I pop it out, and it happens to be backwards, with the sharkskin facing away from me, at about eye level. In short order I got dizzy, vomited, and then kind of blacked out kind of went to sleep after putting the mask back in the bag and just leaving it where I'd found it. My girlfriend, A, knew where I kept a spare key, so when she came over she let herself in. Apparently, I have no memory of this, I was sitting up in bed screaming like a tea-kettle, so loud she could hear me from outside the house, for at least two minutes of uninterrupted terror-noises spewing from my mouth.

The dogs were staying downstairs but both clearly terrified, including the one that always slept by my side even through normal night terrors like a canine security blanket (I miss that dog terribly, the other ones too, but she was a godsend), absolutely refusing to come upstairs, because of all the screaming I imagine. Being of sterner stuff and realizing that I might be having a problem of some sort, A ran up the stairs. I came too as she was shaking me, saying my name over and over again, asking what was wrong. I looked at her and asked who had been screaming so loud, if maybe my sister had come over and injured herself in some way. She looked at me, a little stunned, and then said "You've been sitting up in bed, screaming for like two minutes. I could hear you from the car out front." I assumed she was fucking with me, but she wasn't the fucking with me type except for the fun way, like 100% no pranks and only jokes that are puns or extremely dirty. Apparently my eyes were bloodshot to hell, because she took one look in them and started swearing, and again, she's just not the swearing kind, like she will if she's stressed, but I swear a blue streak in casual fucking conversation.

She then runs through a fairly standard mental health and head injury inventory. Looks at my head, shines lights in my eyes to make sure I have pupillary responses, asks me about my mental state (fragile as gypsum deep in cave, brush it and I'll break down into tears and God knows what, probably more screaming, I could feel it in there still). She checked my head for a fever and sure enough I was burning up. She threw some meds into me (extreme Dayquil) and then a shot of brandy to steady my nerves (she's teetotal usually but I wasn't at the time) and some toast to get something into me and settle my stomach. Eventually she asks what I was doing pre-nap and I say cleaning, she notices the velvet bag on the shelf, opens it, closes it without touching the mask, and tells me to call my priest-friend. He came over and took the mask--it now lives in his cursed-items cabinet. This cabinet is also full of other cursed things which he has described but not in detail and never let me see--the cabinet itself (about footlocker sized) is covered in spare chasuble, and he has another priest lined up to take it if anything should happen to him. Otherwise it lives at the Jesuit house in his closet with his other priestly accoutrements. He takes the existence of physical and metaphysical evil very seriously (but with this rationality that is impressive considering most folks I know who believe in demons and that sort of thing--he goes with more of a Wrongness to some things, I'm explaining it badly and making him sound like a heretic, which he isn't) and it's kind of the one thing he takes seriously aside from his faith, so there's that.

Things to note: at the time I was substance free other than a shot or two of good Scotch every week, and it was just Saturday and I usually drank on Saturday night, so I was dry as the Sahara. Also, because of the planned day of vigorous horizontal activity, I had been (until puking and being absolutely covered in sweat) hydrated and eating decently. There's a rational explanation for all of this, sure, I had a rough summer flu that just hit me unexpectedly and the fever followed. But...that everyone else who interacted with the mask or looked at it was profoundly wigged out by it when I was just like "here's this thing I found for five bucks, wanna see?" until...I tried my best to forget it entirely. I had a photo of it, but it seems to have vanished into the mist of lost digital images.

Tagging @cryptotheism in this because maybe they have an idea about it--sorry for disturbing you, oh wonderful poster.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Hello. While this is Sussex related, I wanted to sort of switch gears. I wanted to get your take on Henry’s post divorce reputation rehab.

I wouldn’t say that I am a Henry apologist but I do believe that Meghan has influenced him in negative ways and brought about behaviour that had been controlled, out wild. (I sincerely believe Henry had been seen by a doctor and was on medication for anxiety, depression, whatnot and I believe Meghan got him off it. No proof, just thoughts)

I always believed that post divorce announcement, the BRF would close ranks and he would be shipped off to Africa for some time to building villages, help bring water etc, moving elephant herds etc. But, now with the Sentabale debacle, I don’t see Africa as a safe haven any longer. I figured he’d give one interview (that’s all I’d allow as his rep!) and sort of be pushed into the ether for a gradual reintroduction to the world. There seems to be a lot of “he’s just c*ntstruck”, “he’ll be okay once he gets away from her” so I do think a rehab is possible.

I’m just not sure how the PR rehab would work, if it even could at this point because the longer this marriage goes, the more difficult it is. I also don’t factor the kids in because I don’t think those kids are leaving the States or their mother.

What’s your take on Harry’s post divorce announcement reputation rehab?

ask from April 15th

For me, I think it depends on where he is.

If he's still living in the US and out of the BRF's fold - aka doing it all himself on his own - it'll be a celebrity comeback tour. He'll get some breakfast shows, a podcaster in the niche field he wants to rebuild his reputation as, and probably one of those celebrity reality competition TV shows. It'll be very C+/B- list.

If he's in the US but in with the BRF, it'll be more of an A-Lister celebrity comeback tour with more prestigious speaking and charity engagements and a bit of travel throughout the Caribbean and Africa as part of some Commonwealth outreach. He'll definitely get some family invites back to the BRF and the aristo society as long as Charles is around and there will be greater BRF support at Invictus Games.

If Harry's back in the UK, back in with the BRF, and Charles is still King, he'll definitely get the royal rehab tour. That's the "c*ntstruck" edit, which goes into overdrive villainizing Meghan and sympathizing Harry to the exponential maximum. I do feel like in this scenario, Harry splits his time evenly between US/UK and Africa, and he gets social invites back, but he'll have to earn back the bigger tickets from the BRF.

I do think that the BRF needs to make actual rehab a condition of their support. It's very clear Harry has a substance abuse problem - both through his own admittance and through rumors around Hollywood - and any legit help from the BRF should require actual treatment, of both the substance abuse and the mental health that he was receiving back in 2016 when all this started.

The kids, I agree, they're not likely to leave the US or Meghan. But the huge caveat here is if Harry can make her substance abuse and her approach to parenting a problem too. She's been much more careful about, but there's enough leaks and gossip out of Montecito and Invictus that suggest she could be in some serious trouble if Harry brings that up while he's in rehab/has the BRF's support.

But I think more than "what does his reputation rehab look like," the question is "will it work?"

And I think the answer there is no. Harry might be able to make up with Charles and if he's in it for the long haul, he might be able to get back into the public's "eh, whatever" graces. But the problem there is that it only works as long as Charles is there. Once William is in charge, Harry has a much higher hurdle to clear, which is something Charles is fully aware of - hence the rumors/leaks that Charles hopes to get Harry back and settled before he meets his maker so that William will be too busy to make any changes, the same way Charles had his hands tied by The Queen re Andrew.

[wannabedragon-yep-lumenemporium]

hey! I don't want to be too nit-picky, but it's not 'rick sanchez has narcassicm' it would be 'rick sanchez has narcissistic personality disorder'. there is no such thing as narcissistic abuse, and ppl with NPD are not evil or stereotypes. for someone who has in their bio that they talk about mental health a lot, you clearly need to educate yourself on cluster b personality disorders and ESPECIALLY on one of the most misunderstood and demonized mental illnesses. Please educate yourself on NPD before you talk about people with this disorder ( caused by trauma ) in a way that makes them sound evil.

hey! I'm glad you asked, so I can give you a very long and precise answer, since I like to be extra precise on certain topics, so, in order of succession:

Narcissistic personality disorder and narcissism are two very different concepts: the classical diagnose (npd) is based on obsolete criteria that cut out the majority of narcissistic tendencies, like the more self-oriented types of narcissism, like neglectful, covert, cerebral, mild, benign and vulnerable narcissism. Those classic criteria were largely collected by examining convicted people with primary and secondary psychopathy, while random ppl with no criminal records are totally an unknown gray area for that classification. In order to be diagnosed with NPD, you also should exhibit discomfort with your own condition, key element that very often is completely absent in narcissistic people, bcs they have serious issues admitting their discomfort with themselves and being open abt it with others. I suggest you to check Doctor Ramani Durvasula's amazing work, major expert in narcissistic abuse and modern research abt narcissism, also available on you tube. You can also check Doctor Daniel Fox's amazing work on the topic (even if he's the new frontier about bpd) and all the related new researches, modern sources, along with the first hand experiences of narcissistic abuse survivors: you can find large communities who share their stories of narcissistic abuse and support each other.

If I wrote "Rick Sanchez has narcissism" is also because I have a profound respect for all those people who actually refuses to limit their personality only to their childhood trauma. I believe in those who wants to be more than just a personality disorder, and prefer to label themselves as just someone who "has a something going on" and is taking action to change deeply: many people diagnosed with personality disorders prefer to use this form, because they are more focused on achieving real change through hard work and appropriate support, instead of fueling their tendencies. Basically, instead of unconditionally accepting their maladaptive survival mechanism, they cultivate their own real personality, so "they have *personality disorder*" not "they are *narcissist, bpd ect*". Quite unrelated extra, the same preference exists also for ppl with adhd, autism and other types of categories, so it doesn't apply only to personality disorders: it's a wide spread decision from ppl who in general feels like they're more than just one defining term. Positive/neutral/negative, the quality of the term is not important, they just feel like isn't comprehensive enough of who they are. This said, personalities disorders become defining of a person when those affected don't even want to admit the problem and completely embraces the pattern, that in fact replaces their entire personality: it's about the choice, not about the personality disorder.

Demonizing narcissism is something more than legit considering the abominable consequences narcissistic abuse has on victims, and how society systematically proceeds to scapegoat them instead of helping them, actively promoting and supporting antisocial tendencies in every social environment (school, politics, work place etc); but personally, I don't like scapegoating other people, not even Rickorty proshippers, I just block them out of my life and try to share some constructive awareness about the topic instead.

Narcissism is defined by the things that I listed, it's just how it works, if you want to apply a quality to facts, you can, but is not what I wrote. And if you want to find a positive and cute way to explain narcissism in its real essence, good luck with that. The fact that narcissism is a pattern characterized by lack of empathy, manipulation, compulsive lying, vindictiveness, antagonism and deep insecurity is just the definition of the pattern, that is in fact a very dangerous, "anti-social" by definition, pattern. It doesn't mean that the narcissistic person isn't hurting themselves as well or doesn't suffer because of their condition, still, the results is the same: narcissistic patterns are always life threatening and detrimental for those around the narcissist and for the narcissist themselves, especially if we are talking about someone who refuses therapy (very common with narcissism). Since narcissism is a wide spectrum, the consequences of exposure to narcissistic abuse may vary from CPTSD, chronic fatigue, autoimmune diseases development, depression, to even s*icide, death by m*rder and more. It's your choice to call it "evil", I call it by its name. There is no way to describe narcissism in a nice way, it isn't nice, that's why is a problem. Being a pervasive, rigid, maladaptive pattern, chances are that people affected by narcissism will actually do evil and hurtful things to others, that's why they need very specific therapy and that's why they are eligible to have narcissism in the first place: being hurtful/dangerous to others is a requirement. Does this mean they haven't feelings, hobbies, affections, talent etc? No, they're people, of course they have all of that. But this is sadly irrelevant because untreated narcissism is still a threat to themselves and to people around them, that's a reality that no one can change. The fact that people mistakenly thinks narcissism is only about egoism/self image obsession doesn't change the real nature of the pattern.

Narcissism follows behavioral patterns, that's why is a personality disorder, it literally alters the way you act and react, affecting the very activity of your brain, as the MRI scans showed us, so it's actually divided into "stereotypes", if you want, and these "stereotypes" are called " behavioral patterns".

In conclusion: rest assured that no one is fueling a holy crusade against narcissists 💀 Narcissistic abuse survivors usually have better ways to spend their freedom, like m*sturbating and watching Rick and Morty. Narcissism is a dangerous and "evil"(if you want to call it like that💀) pattern: people with narcissism instead, are just people, people who are prone to do dangerous and evil things to others, but they can change with proper therapy and the proper motivation.

And, as a little general digression: I was the scapegoat of an entire family system of people with severe narcissism, not the kind of superficial or a little too dramatic narcissism, but the kind that leaves marks on your skin, breaks your mind and scars your health for life. I'm dedicating my life to study narcissism and narcissistic abuse, with the goal of becoming a psychologist as soon as I can, while sharing awareness about the risks and consequences of narcissistic abuse, through my art and my work. Every day of my life is partially spent on abstracts, books, researches or informative videos from professionals about the topic, because I lost the whole beloved family I could have had because of narcissism and generational trauma, along with my whole, irreplaceable childhood. So I think I know a thing or two about the topic ✌🏻 thank you again for asking, so that a lot of people who have to deal with this kind of uneducated invalidation can hopefully find comfort in a supportive community, accredited studies and capable professionals💛

[sharpth1ng]

What do you think is mentally wrong with billy and stu other then being “insane”

I don't actually think they're insane, tbh. I'm going to give a long explanation of this but I just want to say I'm not judging you or the question. Terms like this get miss-used a lot in pop media (including in Scream) so it's easy to get the wrong idea.

"Insane" is a legal category, not a medical diagnosis. Legally, insanity refers to someone being in a state where they are so out of touch with reality that they can't be considered responsible for their actions. The way this works is complicated, but simply put if the crime was violent then it needs to be proven that the accused person didn't actually know what they were doing.

Successful insanity pleas are very very rare, both because the burden of proof is super high and because people with disorders that involve a break from reality don't commit violent crime that often at all. It's actually pretty rare.

So yeah, by that definition these two are not insane at all. They know exactly what they are doing and they intend to do it. They call themselves "psychotic" but that's also a miss-use of the term. They very clearly don't have psychosis, and aside from that people with psychosis are less likely to act violently than people who don't have it (this is a statistical fact).

On that note I just want to point out that the way media connects violence with psychotic disorders is a real problem. It stigmatizes and isolates the real people who struggle with this stuff. It causes others to judge and fear them, it makes them fear themselves, and it makes it harder for them to access treatment and care. So yeah the psychotic line in Scream is a real pet-peeve of mine, that's why I changed it in my writing.

Getting back to Billy and Stu I really don't think their issues and behaviours can be boiled down to any mental health issues. To be clear I don't think anyones bad behaviour can be boiled down to mental health issues. In some cases mental health issues can help us understand where behaviour is coming from, but they're never the only cause. So I'll talk about the way I write them in terms of the issues they deal with, but just keep in mind that these things not the cause of their actions.

I write Billy autistic partly because I am (but also because of the canonical horror movie special interest and third act meltdown) and I'd say my portrayal of Stu also indicates some type of neurodivergence- probably something like ADHD but I don't have any specific diagnosis in mind. Billy also has some attachment and trust issues- these aren't diagnosis or disorders but they are definitely things he struggles with. For his part Stu is dealing with parental neglect and struggles with loneliness as well as under-stimulation.

All of this stuff informs the way they behave with each other, the walls they put up, and the types of relationships they have with other people. For example Billy isn't emotionally open to Sidney at any point. Even if he wasn't gay there was never a possibility for their relationship to work out because he's completely closed off to her. He doesn't trust her.

In terms of what I think is truly wrong with these two it's the misogyny, the slut shaming and the self-centeredness. That's the kind of stuff that I think explains their behaviour for real, and none of it is related to their mental health issues or insecurities.

Stu is a rich white boy living in suburban California and the way I write him, so is Billy. They have shitty values and the kind of privileged upbringing that teaches men to see themselves as the main character. Billy literally has one of those scary tiktok boy moms, like when we see Nancy in Scream 2 she fully excuses all of his behaviour. He's been brought up not having to take accountability or consider the real effects of his actions. Neither of them have.

So yeah tldr: They aren't insane, they do have some legit mental health issues the way I write them, but none of that stuff causes their actions in the movie. Their actions are caused by a toxic combination of sexism and main character syndrome, which are not mental health issues.

I hope all that makes sense!

[eddieydewr]

since you seem very interested in this topic, the actual problem with Ryan Guzman is this:

a) he constantly talks about how much he loves his culture but when ICE comes to kidnap his fellow Mexicanos he stays completely silent. the man has 1.2 million social media followers-- he could actually make a difference by sharing critical information. hell, even Kim Kardashian and Joe Rogan managed to make a statement against ICE's actions. Meanwhile Ryan is busy posting thirst traps.

b) not long ago he went on a known incel podcast and shared dangerous gender essentialist ideology and referred to the very well-known case of Conor McGregor's horrifically violent rape as a man "stepping out on his wife." he also recently liked an IG reel criticizing the feminization of men's fashion. he's pretty clearly swallowed the red pill.

c) he bragged about using slurs and only issued a half-assed apology when he was basically forced to. then there was the posting holocaust anti-vax conspiracy memes during the pandemic...

d) he's living in a city where 90% of his colleagues in Hollywood are out of work right now. a lot of them lost their homes to the wildfires. so in that context, it is objectively offensive and dumb AF to complain about a job pretty much any actor would kill to have.

As a first gen latina, I legit cannot stand this man. He uses our culture only when it's convenient to him then hides behind it when he acts like a fool.

I hope you post this because if you wanted a real convo, I'm here for it.

yes, i’m aware why people dislike ryan. i just disagree with most of their reasoning! but that’s rly none of my concern, lol. i just don’t get what this message has to do with what i posted? it’s just funny. i’m not asking anyone why they dislike the man. only that it’s interesting how they keep up with non-911 related content whether it’s on purpose or not. they’re letting themselves be upset over something they can control. just stop looking at him, stop assuming the worst when he says something. i don’t like looking at rg criticism so i don’t go looking for it. i’m only aware this time because a friend mentioned something. most of the time, i ignore it because at the end of the day, it’s nothing to get upset over. i made an exception this time only because it’s funny and clearly untrue (re. phoning it in part).

but since you’re up for a real convo;

a) he is an actor, not a politician or activist. he is allowed to appreciate his culture without virtue signalling online to prove he actually cares. we know ostark is vegan without him shoving it down our throats every single time to appease any radical vegans who may be tracking his socials like a hawk. it’s a metaphor! the vegans aren’t actually hawks! no hawks were harmed in the making of this post. ryan can’t even say he’s white or latino, or feel like he’s mixed race without people getting mad or deciding for him. just look at the comments.

kim kardashian just passed the bar, didn’t she? and she’d been involved with legal cases for years now. i’m not surprised she said something or whatever, i don’t pay attention to her. you don’t know what ryan is doing offline. lack of online activity about a certain thing ≠ inactivity irl. if ryan shared something from joe rogan, you’d be tearing him to shreds. doesn’t matter if joe rogan posted something righteous or relevant. man can’t even talk about men’s mental health without criticism even though it’s one of the biggest things he cares about, it’s not new and has nothing to do with his “incel rhetoric”.

b) “known incel podcast” lol isn’t it run by a young woman with tradwife ideals? yeah, that was a strange podcast but it’s clear to me ryan was an outlier as a guest compared to other men she’s had on the podcast. ryan not mentioning the rape doesn’t make him a rape apologist. maybe it’s just not a good idea to publicly speak on a legal case? esp when it wasn’t rly relevant to the line of questioning. he mentioned mcgregor due to his association with mma, one of ryan’s main interests. mcgregor would be a notable example in this case. and the fact is, he DID step out on his wife. it is historically known he’s a serial cheater, lmfao. i’m sorry he didn’t go into gory details about what he did in the one instance where he cheated on his wife by brutally assaulting another woman.

no idea what reel you’re talking about but i’m sure you’ve taken it out of context too. maybe clothes shouldn’t be gendered at all??? i doubt red pillers would’ve taken the whole “babygirl” thing for buzzfeed in stride like ryan did, acknowledging that he (eddie) is indeed a lucky wife and thanked oliver (buck) for taking such good care of him. alright babygirl. show me an incel choking on the red pill who would lean into the bit and have fun with it. show me a toxic straight bro who would seem bemused and endeared by his male coworker’s insistence that he indeed has a slutty waist, even got a “little thing going on”. hourglass gesture and all. ah, the epitome of masculinity.

c) RAAAAHHHHH. i get that 5 years isn’t very long in the grand scheme of things, but 2020 feels like a lifetime ago (and simultaneously like yesterday. i get it!). however, a lot has happened since lockdown. people in LA are going through a very different crisis right now, we know this. they’ve had several different crisises and faced several tensions since the pandemic and george floyd’s murder, the latter which prompted the scandal concerning ryan’s wife at the time. do i need to explain why the whole thing is weird, on the fans’ part? it’s not like the incident happened in a vacuum. it’s not like ryan randomly went on insta live and proudly stated he and his friends say slurs against each other and don’t get butthurt about it. he fucked up, i’m not denying that. but he put his hands up and owned it (satisfactorily or not), even though he wasn’t directly involved, and moved on.

the whole anti vax thing is a bit of a reach, imo. the antisemitism angle too. he got the vaccine. he’s allowed to be critical at the same time. i’m not american but i still had my concerns re. the vaccine (does it work, isn’t it too soon, what are the risks?) even though i intended to be fully vaxxed, and i am. having questions doesn’t make you a bad person. maybe he shouldn’t have shared the posts but that’s over and done with, and he never elaborated.

imo, you’re stuck on the version of ryan from when he wasn’t at his best. he’s literally just a man who makes mistakes and he learns from his mistakes. he’s not an irreedemable piece of shit but tbh, that’s my perspective and i’m not here to convince you to change your mind.

d) sigh. this is ryan we’re talking about. he knows how lucky he is. and acknowledges it often (even though some of you will say he’s not sincere. he’s damned either way). but like most people, he’s allowed to complain about his job. which isn’t something he does often, mind you. the work environment on 911 isn’t even a secret. he has a great work ethic, he likely got it from his father and grandfather. he’s constantly networking and prior to 911, he was consistently working in between movie roles and small tv roles.

re. the podcast, it was more of a criticism towards himself for not having the confidence as an actor at the time (season 3), admitting that he half assed it because the end result wasn’t going to show up anyway. i can see where he’s coming from, he likely wasn’t used to being a main cast member on network tv, especially for a ryan murphy production. it’s a big adjustment from being a lead/decent part in a movie once every 2 years(??) to filming for a network procedural. not in terms of success but the work environment, work hours and such. the process is different. and his mental health was in the shitter at the time, like no wonder he was despondent and felt like he didn’t contribute anything to the show until kenny reached out.

sorry this got long. but if you read all of this, i appreciate it — even though none of this has anything to do with what i posted, lol. you don’t like him, that’s fine. if you seek out his content on purpose, don’t do that. be kind to yourself instead. sincerely.

[bennie-jerry]

My Beef with Miguel O'Hara - A Spiderverse Rant

If you've read the title of this, you already know who I'm gonna be crapping on.

I know some of y'all are gonna flame me in the comments, but I do not care. Now, if you’re willing to bring up counterpoints about a FICTIONAL topic in a respectful manner, I’ll listen no problem because I don't mind being wrong (and I actually HOPE I'm wrong about this since I WAS excited about watching Miguel in action because there was so much hype around him). But if you take me having beef with a fictional character as me having beef with YOU, then I politely ask you to spare your mental health and drink some hot chocolate under a blanket after you click away from this post, thank you. 

Now back to the topic.

Most of us Spider-Man fans have seen the movie, "Across the Spider-Verse" at some point (and if you haven't, what are you doing? Go watch it, it's on Netflix). Excluding everything that makes it a masterpiece aside, there's one character in the movie who really grinds my gears. Not in terms of how they’re written, but more so just how they are as a person in general. 

Miguel O'Freaking'Hara. 

I do not like Miguel. I feel pity for him, but I do not like him. I do like him as a character, though. I feel like he definitely adds to the story and makes it interesting. I genuinely feel like ATSV would’ve been really boring if he wasn’t part of it. But I do not like him as a person. 

Miguel doesn't JUST have a stick up his butt, he has the whole TREE.

I couldn't care less about the fact this dude looks like a handsome statue because of the stuff he was doing to Miles. I think y’all forgot that this dude THREW A TABLE AT A MINOR UPON FIRST MEETING HIM and then has the nerve to throw away the food Miles got for him like it's trash. If that’s already not a red flag, I don’t know what is.

I don’t care if it was just ‘frustration.’ Miguel's 27 years old, he should know better. Unless Miles was attacking him in the beginning (which he wasn’t), there’s no reason he should’ve done that. But oh…I have much more beef with this dude than just a table. 

I understand that his supposed role and whatnot in the Spiderverse is that he has to keep canon events going. He has to get rid of 'anomalies.’ Unfortunately, Miles Morales (from Earth-1610) is an anomaly because he was never supposed to be the Spider-Man of his universe. So, what does Miguel do? He tries to obliterate the guy.

…Ex–freaking-scuse me?

"Oh, but Miguel tried to talk to Miles about everything!" 

Yeah. And he did it in the worst way possible. Miguel had absolutely no empathy towards the whole situation, then has the gall to wonder why Miles is running off and not listening to him. No dip, Sherlock. I'm pretty sure if you harshly told any normal person that someone they loved deeply was going to die and that they couldn't save them without any hint of compassion, they'd go against what you said and try to find a way to save them, bro. 

Miguel's whole schmo is that Miles becoming Spider-Man was bad because it created Spot and Spot's creating a bunch of problems. As a result, Miguel also tells Miles that saving his dad is not allowed. Here's where I have a problem with that logic. If Miles being Spider-Man is an anomaly in the first place, why NOT save Jeff as a way to prevent more anomalies from HAPPENING? If anything, Miles losing his dad would've just been another canon event for him to continue BEING Spider-Man, even though he wasn't supposed to be. Legit, this dude’s logic irritates the pee out of me.

Miguel's approach to the problem is also hypocritical considering that he lost his own wife and daughter in the universe he belonged to, then invaded ANOTHER UNIVERSE he didn't belong to, which honestly in my opinion makes Miguel look even worse to me. I'm willing to bet that Miguel’s alternate daughter could’ve been that universe’s spider hero, but because THIS vampire edge lord stepped into a universe that was NOT his, it prevented the canon event of the classic “Dead Guardian trope,” leading to that universe’s evaporation.

Another thing that irks me about the whole thing is that MILES IS LIKE 15-16 YEARS OLD. So as far as I'm concerned, O'Hara is trying to eliminate a KID. Even though he knows what it's like to lose a KID. No wonder the multiverse prevented him from being a father—he’s violent, unstable, and completely short-sighted. He’s out here chokeslamming a teenager and calling THEM the mistake. Just because you went through grief and trauma with your own children, it isn't an excuse to take the breath of another child. 

(Y'know, considering the events of Multiverse of Madness, I'm kinda seeing a pattern here--)

Miguel, for some reason, refuses to have a smidge of sensitivity for what Miles is going through. Heck, even Gwen and Peter Parker had more empathy for Miles despite them not telling him he wasn't supposed to be Spider-Man because they actually cared about his feelings TO SOME DEGREE.

I hate Miguel’s whole “You’re a mistake!” speech because Miles didn't create the spider. Miles didn't summon the spider. Miles didn’t choose to get bit. He didn’t find it on his own terms. Miles didn't choose to create Spot—the one who’s actually causing them problems. Someone ELSE brought the spider there. Someone ELSE took away a universe’s Spider-Man. Miles is just trying to deal with what he’s been given. So if Miguel wants to go after ANYONE for ‘anomalies’ in terms of Miles’ universe, he needs to track down the person who put something where it didn’t belong.

For crying out loud, he told the boy that HE was a mistake. It’d be one thing if he said “You being Spider-Man was a mistake” or something. But no. He says that Miles IS the mistake.

During that whole speech, it sounds like Miguel is trying to tell Miles that everything is HIS fault as if Miles had a choice in being bit. As if Miles even had a choice in the fact that a radioactive spider from an alternate universe chose to bite him. 

There were so many other ways Miguel could've handled the issue and he didn’t do that. I don’t care what his so-called intentions could/would be because it really put a disgusting taste in my mouth. 

I still have no respect for the fact that he hypocritically and previously invaded another reality where he was dead so he could be with his family--and here's what I mean by that.

Yes, I understand--Miguel's life on his original earth was freaking sad. He lost his wife and daughter. That's obviously a very tragic thing to go through. But it’s the fact that he's cracking down on Miles so badly despite Miguel LITERALLY being the one to pull a Kingpin vexes me. Miles had ALWAYS belonged to his universe. Miguel’s only in the dump he’s in because he was trespassing.

Don't get me wrong, I feel pity but I absolutely cannot stand the audacity of this man to go after a kid who got bit IN HIS OWN UNIVERSE even though Miguel was the one who contributed to some multiversal disaster in the Spider-verse. You could try to say, "Oh, it's because he doesn't want to make the same mistake again and shatter the Spider-verse or something!" While I could understand that, it’s still not a good reason for Miguel to do and say the stuff he did. I thought at the bare minimum, he'd be at least able to RELATE to Miles considering that he also lost people he cared about.

End conclusion: 

Miguel is vexing to me–but I don’t hate the way he’s written. If anything, I think if he wasn’t written this way, the ASTV movie would be very different. Whether that’d be for the better or the worse, I’m willing to bet most of this storyline wouldn’t even exist were Miguel not like this. So even though Miguel absolutely grinds my gears with his mindset and who he is as a character—I’m not mad at his writers. And I honestly feel like that’s just a showmanship of how great the writing for the Spider-Verse movies is. Good writing is when you’re mad at characters for the decisions THEY make, and not at the WRITERS for having them make those decisions. 

I’m out.