#let characters be weird... not quirky just fuckin weird... and happy

[dirkxcaliborn]

Merry morning after christmas and morning before the Genshin 2.4 livestream (yes that is why I am awake). I watched Home Alone for the ~christmas spirit~ and it was very good. I also started knitting a scarf with some yarn I picked up on sale ages ago. I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish it because scarves are a real test of long term, repetitive, consistent effort, but we’ll see. It’s got a pretty cool pattern and my yarn is self striping :)

After Home Alone, I started watching Stranger than Fiction because I saw it recommended in a Reddit thread. I’m fairly sure I’ve already seen this movie, tho I’ve honestly forgotten all of it. But it has that sort of familiarity that’s not a nice nostalgic feel, but a kinda bored “I’ve already seen this” feel. Plus you’ve got your Manic Pixie Dream Girl to come save the sad, sad man from his sad life by teaching him how to have fun and live his life <3 *retches* But like. Not that they you he’s sad. They just show you his life so you’re like wow what a sad little life this dude’s obsessed with numbers??? Literally what’s wrong with him lol he needs to get a girlfriend and be normal. And so he starts ~living his life~ and stops counting everything all the time and I don’t remember how this movie ends but mmmm I don’t like that. Like I guess you could say he was resigned to his life or w/e and that’s why you don’t see him like sad about it, but why can’t he like counting things??? Why can’t he make friends and maybe even start dating and live his life happily without also counting shit all the time???? 

I’m also a little mad about when the manic pixie baker girl went on a rant about “who doesn’t like cookies???? what is wrong with you???????? everyone likes cookies.” I took it too personally bc I don’t like cookies lol especially chocolate chip cookies. I don’t like them! I don’t know I’m just!!!!!! very mad at this movie for highlighting all the ways he’s not like other people as if that’s what’s wrong with his life. Not liking cookies and counting how many times he brushes his teeth isn’t why he’s unhappy with his life. At least it wouldn’t be if he wasn’t a character at the whims of a fiction author at the whims of an actual author. 

[maxdreavus]

FAWY Minis | Ch. 2 (Abigail POV) (EDITED JAN. 9 2025)

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Notes: !! TW for brief description of a suicide attempt !!

This one takes place during chapters 2 and 3 of FAWY. There’s also a mention of Sophia, a Stardew Valley Expanded character who’s discussed briefly for the first time in chapter 13 of FAWY.

Abby’s a petty brat. But not really. She lies to herself as a defense mechanism or whatever and is clearly Not Okay. Hopefully I did a good job conveying that, if I didn’t do it enough in the main story :’)

Falling Away With You (main story)

Check it out on ao3!

Prev | Next

So, our squad ran into the new bitch on our way to our weekly Stardrop hangout, and it’s going just as poorly as I expected it to. The moment Sam excitedly ran up to her, I knew my night would be ruined.

I eye up the girl as she gets to know my friends, and cling to Sebastian’s arm when she addresses him. Can’t let her get any ideas. Sure, he’s technically available, but is he really? 

Her cheeks redden a bit as they talk, and I smirk to myself. She looks so pathetic that it’s almost kinda cute. I wonder if she thinks she has a chance with Sebby…

After Sam teases me a bit for being “overprotective” or whatever, I notice that he seems totally smitten by this lady. That sucks, I suppose, but it would be cool if they become a thing. It’s not that I want her to get cozy with Sam, but he’s the more preferable option if she’s gonna try something with anyone in my friend group.

I ditch them to head to the saloon, using the rain as an excuse. Manifesting that the “farmer” will change her mind about crashing our hang out while I’m gone... I know it won’t work, but, whatever. I hoped Sebby would come with, but as I slowly detached myself and walked away, he stayed put. 

He has a weird look on his face… 

He’s probably just as disgusted by her as I am. For sure.

When I enter the Stardrop, I wave to Gus over the crowded bar, hang my hooded denim jacket up, and lean against the wall near the coat hanger, people-watching while waiting on Sam and Seb to arrive.

A few old ladies from out of town are mingling in the booths over there with Evelyn. Cute, I guess. Clint is crying over a beer, over Emily, as he does. I wonder if he knows that it’s really not hard to find a quirky vegan yoga enthusiast with dyed hair.

My eyes shift left, and I see Marnie and Lewis pretending to conduct some kinda town business. Psh. The only business they’re doing is… yuck. I’m not even gonna finish that sentence. A bit further, and I catch that girl Leah and her boy toy staring at me. I wonder if they’re doing any “business.” I hate to admit it, but they’d probably be a cute couple.

I poke my head out the door, curious what’s taking so long, just as Sam approaches. Nice! “It’s about time,” I snark. 

Noticing that Sebastian and that thing are not only walking here together, but talking, I don’t even hear Sam’s response. So shocked that my ears temporarily stopped working. Since when has he been such a people person? It took me forever to get anything out of him, and now he’s just laughing along to anything she says?

I look up at Sam to see if he’s seeing this shit, and he gives me a look. “Abby.”

“Yes, I am Abby.”

He sighs. “Dude, you’re doing it again.”

“Doing what again?“ I furrow my brows. “You don’t think it’s fuckin’ weird that–”

“Dude!” he quietly snaps. 

My eyes widen. He’s always gotten a bit snippy when I talk shit, but never… so quickly. Who shoved a stick up his ass today?

“Seb and I both hoped you would be done with your weird… thing with him after dating Soph,” he whisper-yells. Sebby thinks… what? “Just because there's a new girl in town it doesn’t mean you need to be so—”

My heart sinks a bit, and I feel my eyes well up. 

I mean, he just had to go and mention Sophia. When I think about her, I can’t remember the happy stuff. I just imagine her lashing out on me and telling me I was “too much.” Our weird, unspoken competition over who was more mentally ill in our relationship. I don’t think I’ll ever not be able to remember her pale face and swollen eyes and bloodied, gauze-wrapped wrists, and seeing her surrounded by glass and pill bottles, then being rolled into the ambulance and– fuck. 

I have to stop. 

I can’t do this here.

When I think of Sebastian… everything feels better. All the noise and intrusive images that constantly raid my thoughts seem to fade away. He was my first real friend. The first person to ever openly like-like me. Plus, he gets me, I think. And I’d like to think that I get him, too.

I poke at the corners of my eyes, trying to prevent any falling tears from fucking with my eyeliner. God, I look so weak. I fucking hate crying around other people. 

Sam puts a hand on my shoulder and softly reassures me. “Sorry, I just… nevermind. I’m sorry I said that.”  I nod. I don’t wanna talk. Too worried that I’ll actually cry. “Let’s just have fun tonight, okay?”

I nod again, and take a few deep breaths, trying to emulate what Dr. Haywood taught me. Few seconds in – hold it for a little – then slooowly out. Focus on being in the present, Ab. Wiggle your fingers, tap your toes, pinch your skin (not too hard)... 

I’m good. We’re fine. This is fine. 

When I hear footsteps outside, I pester Seb like nothing happened, pulling him in so we can get some booze. Yoba knows I need it.

_______________

After we all get situated, I challenge Elise – interesting name, I suppose – to a game of 20 questions. What better way to figure out my new nemesis than to probe her? 

I ask her what type of people she’s into, hoping she’s gay or some shit. I feel like a fuckin’ narc trying to get any info out of her. Lady’s stubborn. She keeps dancing around the question, but I keep trying anyway, until suddenly– 

“Are you hitting on me, Abigail?” she purrs through a sip of beer.

Her eyes bore into mine. They’re intense. They’re… really fucking pretty actually oh god damnit all.

My face heats up and I start chugging my own drink, knowing that I would never think these things while intoxicated. Drunken words are sober thoughts, yadda yadda… I do not soberly think Elise is actually pretty. She’s a stupid slut probably. And also a bitch. And I hate her. Yeah. There we go.

Finally she answers, basically giving me as little information as she’s been giving. “They were all taller than me,” she announces. 

I’m like, 5ish feet tall, probably. And she’s practically the same height as me. 

It’s not fucking hard for us to find people who are taller than us to date.

I give up and prompt Elise to take her turn. She asks about my hair. How original. I tell her it’s my favorite color, amethysts are delicious, all the obvious… then, I make up some shit about how it just stopped growing in my natural color at some point, because of magic or some shit. I’ve got to liven the conversation up somehow. Plus, it’s not like she’ll ever know that I actually have a cabinet in my closet that’s brimming with supplies for touch-ups. 

If she doesn’t believe me, she doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t even challenge me. She just accepts my words at face-value. Won’t look me in the eyes though, so who knows what’s going through that pretty lil head o’ hers…

“The first thing that came to mind when I first saw you outside,” she tells me, finally looking at my face, “was that your hair reminds me of amethysts.”

“Oh!” I respond, flattered by her reaction.

…Well AIN’T SHE JUST A DOLL?

I can’t stop the smile that plasters my big dumb face as I reply to her, “That’s really cool actually. Thanks!” 

Abigail Renée Parrish, get your shit together! You’re not supposed to smile! Have some respect for yourself! 

Snapping back into gear, I move on. “I have more questions for you, lady.” Perfect. Let’s just get back to business.

“Sure,” Elise says with a mouthful of pizza. “Hit me.”

Oh, how I’d love to.

_______________

By the time Sebby and Sam are done with their game, I learn the following about Elise and take mental notes of it all:

She’s not a vegetarian, but tries to avoid meat. How nice of her.

She’s, like, bi or something, but doesn’t want a label. Just settled on “queer,” for now. Why does that kind of excite me? Why should I give a crap? 

She’s a gamer. I wonder how good she is at Prairie King…

She studied psych in college. And yet, she’s trying to be a farmer, all of the sudden? Whatever. Weirdo.

All that, amongst other things. Nothing too fun or exciting. She got so drunk that she eventually stopped asking me questions back, which was fine by me. The less she knows, the better. I’m a little tipsy myself, but at least I can hold my fucking drinks.

“You two having fun?” Sam asks, making himself cozy next to Elise while Seb slinks down into the cushion next to mine. Elise looks so small and cute, cozied up next to Sam like that. Is that how small I look? 

Is that how cute me and Sebby look right now?

She nods at Sam, and thanks him for inviting her to hang with us. “I’m not usually social,” she claims. “It feels weird, but I like it!” 

Look at her, being all adorab— Wait, no.

I roll my eyes at her response to him, but I smile. 

What the fuck? Why am I doing that?

I gotta get away from this… this wench. Quickly!

“Yo,” I nudge Seb, standing up and tugging at his sleeve. “I wanna dance.”

“No.”

“Why?” I whine.

“You know why.”

I mean, yeah, he hates dancing, but he does it with me every year for the Flower Dance. Why can’t he just, y’know, work with me a little here? I pout out a hmph before turning to face Sam and Elise. 

“Let’s go, bitch.” I tug at Sam’s hands, trying to pull him out of the seat. 

He glances sideways at Elise, then at me, and his big, shiny eyes tell me he’d rather hang out with her. Too bad, I think to myself. “I don’t feel like it. I just wanna chill out for now.”

“C’monnn,” I pry. I pull again, raising his arm and spinning under it before continuing to shimmy along to the beat from the jukebox. “You know you wanna!” 

He looks me dead in the eyes, as if he’s trying to seem grumpy. Then, a smile curls onto his lips and he starts shimming too. “Alright, alright.” Perfect. 

I glance at Elise. Hmm. Asking her defeats the purpose of my plan, but like, I feel as if I can’t not ask her. She seems kinda zooted, though.

…Look, I’m just doing this for Sam, okay? 

“What about you?” She tilts her head. Was she even listening? “Come dance with us.”

“No,” she shakes her head, wide eyed, waving her hands in front of her. Her sleeves look like paws, clutched around her fists like that. “I-I’m not much of a dancer,” she nervously laughs. “It’s not my thing.”

“Boooringgg,” I sing at her, before pulling Sam across the room with me. 

As we groove, Sam and I just have our usual banter about games and the band and shit. Thankfully, he doesn’t say anything about Sebby or the new girl. Every once in a while, though, I can’t help but glance over at the two of them. Her and Seb were on separate couches originally, both just lazily watching the people around the saloon in their natural habitats. Now, they’re practically draped over each other.

I can’t even try to blame her for being a dumb slut or something, because Seb’s the one who went to her couch. What gives? 

Feeling a little cranky about the situation, I don’t care to hide the stink-eye I’m shooting at Elise.

Why does Seb seem to tolerate her so much? Why did it take so long for us to become friends, but they seem to be hitting it off instantly? What does that cretin have that I don’t?

And if she thinks my hair is so pretty, and that I’m so cool, and whatever the fuck else she said earlier to flatter me and woo me and whatever, then why the fuck is she making such googly moogly lovey dovey shitty little eyes at his ass?!

“You good, Abby?” Sam asks, noticing the angry, and probably confused, expression on my profile. I turn his way, nod, and then resume my grumping. He follows my eyes, and gleams at the sight of the emo man and farmer girl getting so… buddy-buddy over there. 

“Holy shit,” he mutters. “You go, dude,” he quietly cheers on Seb from afar.

My eyes widen at Sam and my brows furrow, before I turn back and see Seb glaring at me. He’s gnawing at his lip, which would be totally fucking hot if he didn’t look so angry. 

Is he mad at me? Or did she do something to piss him off?

He silently answers my question, standing up and reaching out a hand to help Elise up too. Then, they head outside. 

Together. 

Alone.

[garrothromeave]

let’s talk about minecraft diaries rebirth.

and why it’s literally amazing. (warning: this will contain spoilers. lots of them. also, long post ahead.)

i think a lot of people hate mcdr because they were expecting a remake; but the point of rebirth is for jess to rewrite it. it wasn't supposed to be exactly the same.

honestly i went into mcdr with a closed mind. as an og mcd fan, i thought that this was going to suck ass and that i'd rant about how bad it was to my friends later. but actually watching it, i just... couldn't help but immediately fall in love with it.

ik im probably the only motherfucker that likes mcdr, but honestly how could i not? for one, garroth and zenix actually have personalities at the beginning. AND; the villagers? actually amazing. donna made me smile, visher made me laugh and cry, brendan was just bein as good as ever. like... i even didn't despise emmalyn with every ounce of my soul like i usually do?? the characterizations of them were GOOD, man.

and honestly, aphmau like--the way she spoke, her whole thing. it was reallyyy well done in my opinion. she was oblivious to things, but it wasn't overdone and wasn't done in a way to make her annoying. she's a very appealing character in mcdr, a main protagonist i do not mind following along with. her dynamics to the characters are really cool and all very unique.  gonna cut it here so i don’t clog y’all’s feed cuz i got a lot to say :)

the early use of aphmau’s powers was actually pretty cool as well, it also really showed how clueless aphmau really was to everything going on around her. AND UH, THE FACT THAT SHE THOUGHT THAT GARROTH FELT FAMILIAR? GOLDEN. absolutely golden.

AND GENE OH BOY, the early introduction of gene? ik a lot of people are upset about it, but god DAMN i love it so much. his role in the story is very important in original, and i cannot express how much joy this brought me learning that he was actually getting the proper attention for it. and the fact that gene and aphmau were working together?? i mean ik gene was just trying to use her to get back to the "shadow abyss" (pretty pog replacement for the nether, gg) but god DAMN i loved every moment of it. i found their dynamic to be pretty fuckin funny to be honest, would absolutely love to see more of it.

i might be biased considering gene is one of my absolute favorite characters, but i honestly think that introducing gene this early on in the story was a good move. again, he's literally the right-hand man to the shadow lord. it makes you really wonder why he didn't have as much of an important role in season 1 or even 2 of the original mcd plotline. also, we get some of that good-ol-fashioned exposition with seeing early on how vylad and gene interact. vylad’s at a very strange point in the story right now; his motives are unclear, even to the side he’s ‘supposed’ to be taking (aka, a shadow knight.)  another early introduction to a character is zane! this, my friends, is good. really good. i’d say that zane is the main antagonist of season 1 in the original series--and he wasn’t even introduced until like, episode 50. it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but him being introduced this early on really gives the audience a better understanding of what threats are out there and what our protagonist will have to encounter in the future. in the original series, there’s not much explanation as to why lords are disappearing/dying left and right--and while yes, that was supposed to be the mystery of it, having some of that early information is a better move in terms of writing. 

AND IVAN?? BEING A PART OF THE JURY OF NINE?? I COULD NOT HAVE ASKED FOR ANYTHING MORE LIKE GOD DAMN that was a very pleasant surprise i'll just say that, thank you jess :)

and no i did not loop the 4 minutes of screentime laurance got in that one episode haha who would do that i would never do that anyways

SPEAKING of laurance, im so glad jess actually wrote him in this early :) she totally could have just waited for the first time aphmau visits meteli and meets him there, but no! she put him in an early episode. i dont even care if she did it just to shut up the fans about laurance but man that made me so happy seeing him, even if it was only for a bit.

okay i kinda wanna go over the guards real fast firstly; garroth. ignoring how weird the helmet showing emotions is, i really like how garroth is portrayed. he's under a lot of pressure because the village is putting a lot of the blame on him for malik's death, and he's trying his hardest to keep things running. the fact that garroth utterly refused the to take up the position of lord and even got a little snappy about it was actually really cool to see as well. and while he doesn’t have that same “reserved, quiet, observant” feel as the original mcd version of him had, this version of garroth is absolutely awesome. he’s more direct and blunt, is significantly more sarcastic, and isn’t as stiff or as much as a pushover as he is in the original. he even has a sense of humour. also, no homo, but he’s kinda adorable.  plus, the desperation that he goes through during the whole thing is just--it’s really cool to see how hard he’s trying to prove himself and help the village. my rating for mcdr garroth? 9/10. the helmet... the helmet is the main thing throwin me off, i can’t lie. next, zenix. oh BOY do i have a lot to say about this man. first of all, his and garroth’s dynamic is incredible. when i saw how the interacted with each other, my first thought was: father and son. zenix has this immaturity to him that is so fucking fun and interesting to watch, and seeing how garroth scolds him is so fuckin good man. and! seeing how he interacts with the rest of the village... honestly, if jess ever picks this story up again, i would probably cry when zenix (literally) backstabs garroth. HELL, i hope that’s something that still happens, it’d be heartbreaking to witness this character that we’ve come to love hurting his mentor, the man who took him in. he’s just a really good character all in all, and much more appealing than the original mcd zenix. ...except season 3 zenix. no zenix can be better than that one.  either way, zenix is amazing written to be the comic relief and he’s just an all-out lovable character in this series.  finally, dale and brian. yes i’m going to group them up because there’s not much to say regarding them, but i do want to address them. for starters, we have brian; who’s already 16 when the story starts. good on jess for doing that, because in the original aphmau watched brian be born and age INCREDIBLY quick, haha. THOUGH i do feel like there’s a slight connection lost there--one of the hardest things about brian’s betrayal in the original series in the fact that we watched him grow up in phoenix drop. we were there from the moment he was born, to the second he betrayed phoenix drop. BUT OF COURSE, this version is a lot more realistic, so it’s understandable. i just think that if it’s brian who’ll be betraying phoenix drop again (if it even goes down that same route), it won’t hit as hard unless jess really takes the time to grow the connection between brian and aphmau.  as for dale; gotta admit, love it. and like, i think one of the main things about how good of a call it was to make him a drunkard from the beginning is considering how much the village is struggling. the fact that the second-in-command is literally drunk all of the time really conveys the message of, “yeah. this village needs help.” plus, he’s another good comic relief character. i loved seeing molly and dale’s relationship too, it was very funny.  PLUS. we were blessed with a well scene, in which aphmau had to help villagers out of the well. i don’t know about you guys, but that was one of my favorite nods to the original series. i cannot thank jess enough for that, there was a smile on my face the entire time. another amazing thing--visher’s character. instead of just being introduced to this quirky lil merchant who only had one or two interactions with aphmau like in the first one, we got to sit there and really get a feel for someone worth remembering and worth mourning over. we had a reason to be sad over his death, it wasn’t just some npc getting blown up suddenly. this was different, and this hurt.  one of the major things that i hope is to come out of this is for jess to fix the major mistakes she had when writing the first series. she’d expressed how unhappy she was with some of the decisions she made, and i’m glad that she’s getting that second chance to undo the things she didn’t like. this series also gives her a second chance to really, really dig into characters and their motives. like, gimme laurance backstory in better detail. or like, garroth and zane’s relationship from back when they were kids? or how vylad died and who killed him? etc etc. she’s already done an excellent job so far, and i can’t wait to see where this goes. that is, if she ever continues it. god, i wish there were more episodes so that i could seriously let you guys know how beautiful of a series this is. there’s so much i want to say about rebirth, but i think i’ll stop here. i might say some more shit about it later, but if there’s anything i’d want you to take away from this, it’s: give minecraft diaries rebirth a chance. there’s a lot of potential, and this is a chance for jess to really change things for the better! ... but again, that is if this ever is continued. 

[jcmorrigan]

001 - Kingdom Hearts

Favorite character: On the villain side: VEXEN IS BEST ORGANIZATION XIII MEMBER. Shoulda stayed evil, though. I like it when he complains and screams about everything and hates everyone. He's one of my favorite villains, just, like...in general. So fun to write. Also attached to Demyx, but I actually liked him more in III than II because it reminded me of my rawr lolspeek weeb days when I f/o'd him without knowing what f/o'ing was and then transitioned this to shipping VexDem like heck. On the hero side: MY GIRL KAIRI! But honorable mentions go to Sora, Riku, Aqua, Ven, Terra, Xion, Roxas, Lea, Ienzo, any Disney character I loved beforehand (this is way too fuckin many to list), Merlin (OKAY I WILL SINGLE HIM OUT), Yen Sid (I'LL SINGLE HIM OUT TOO), you know what let's also single out the Mickey+Donald+Goofy power trio...just...any KH hero who isn't part of the Yozora stuff or the KHUX stuff. ...Except I also LOVE Strelitzia, and she is the only KHUX-exclusive kiddo I care about but I care about her MANY. (Oh, and there's a least fave I have who's a "hero" but that's a debatable label). I would go on about why I love all of them but...that's too many characters to elaborate on

Least Favorite character: See, I think the real answer is Yozora, but the thing is I just tend to forget about him or not care (unless I'm doing a weird AU where he's Noctis' bratty Nobody, don't ask). He kinda represents the Shark Jump and I don't like watching that scene where he literally petrifies Sora for not being strong enough. But again, I can just kinda forget about him if he's not fed to me through a social-media unit. The one I LOVE TO HATE is Master Eraqus. The man actually triggered me back in the day. He is purity culture. He is the overbearing parent who will not accept you unless you are perfect. He is by and large the reason VAT didn't communicate with each other properly. He was the one who taught Aqua to think in absolutes. He lied to Ventus for years and then insisted to kill him was the only option, and then, when Terra tried to defend his brother figure/friend without knowing WHY Eraqus was doing such a thing, Eraqus didn't offer an explanation and instead switched targets to Terra citing that the problem was Terra's lack of OBEDIENCE. Eraqus is just very "my way or the highway" and uses his moral high horse to justify doing things that utterly lack compassion in any regard, which is something that GETS to me on a deep level, and let me tell you, I hated him for so long until I realized he was actually a super fuckin fun guy to imagine as a Bigger Bad in AUs that either have the KH protags teaming up or have villain protags needing a "greater good lawful evil" figure. And I just have found too many good memes about him cheating at chess and killing children. I have to laugh. Making fun of him is fun. He's a ridiculous character. That said, this recent trend of "erase everything bad he ever did and paint him as the ultimate hero of the saga" makes me raise eyebrows for SEVERAL reasons

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): VexDem, SoRiku, Kairi x Jaune Arc (RWBY), Aqua x Rosalina (Super Mario Galaxy) x Bayonetta, IsaLea, Ventus x Papyrus (Undertale), that was six but they all needed to be mentioned

Character I find most attractive: Ienzo. HOO BABY he is adorable. I saw someone make a Valentine's Day gifset of KH and FF characters shortly after III dropped and seeing his smiling face paired with a romance quote made my heart FLUTTER

Character I would marry: Probably Ienzo, see above. He's also a very kind guy. Favorite redemption in the modern era.

Character I would be best friends with: I hope the Destiny Trio would adopt me into their friend circle the way they've tended to do with every other inter-world denizen they've come across. I would love to have them as my positivity squad. Or, y'know, two positivities and one "it's okay to screw up" guy. Just. I would love to hang out with them. I often worry that I'm unlikable to my faves, but even though I would usually prefer to hang with the villains, I can pretty much guarantee these three would be open-minded about me. (Do I kiiiiinda wanna be friends with Vexen though? Of course I do. He'd hate me but maaaayyyyybe he would see me as one of his pet idiots who makes him look smarter, and we could bond over our fragile egos?)

a random thought: You ever think about that one NPC lady in Traverse Town who refused to tell you where she was from because it was none of her business? You ever wonder where she WAS from? What her world was like? How she ended up being the survivor of the Ansem Apocalypse when it hit her? All I know is that when I read her lines out loud (I used to read KH speech balloons out loud all the time), I gave her a Southern accent for no discernible reason and I stand by it. That woman has a twang.

An unpopular opinion: I don't want KHUX to be canon because I feel it's smaller-scale and takes a lot of mystery out of the worldbuilding. I always assume that the KHverse just includes ALL worlds in fiction, and that includes their thousand-year histories, meaning the Age of Fairy Tales should've happened long long long LONG LONG LONG ago and not five generations. And whatever screwed up the world should've been more than just five people having a fight, and whatever saved it should've been more than just five people getting along, and Daybreak Town really suffers from having to stick to mobile-friendly graphics and therefore is the least aesthetically attractive KH town ever, and I don't like that Lauriam and Elrena used to be such selfless people. I do still love Strelitzia because she's shy and relatable and quirky (sitting on the roof) and she questions authority and if you go with shipping subtext she's probably bi (or pan?), but I don't like the "Lauriam's dead sister for his arc's drama" bit. I liked when Marluxia was angry because he wanted to run Organization XIII but it was in the hands of an idiot who wasn't him. And more than anything I just like imagining that the Age of Fairy Tales was something bigger, further in the past, and more mysterious than something designed for a mobile game. Scala ad Caelum, however, I like a lot better because there IS a lot of mystery there and also it's a very pretty town with an amazing design.

my canon OTP: I really only count the Disney couples as the "canon" ones, so this is a question of picking my favorite Disney couple that shows up onscreen. I hope I'm not forgetting an important one, but I think the title has to go to Aladdin/Jasmine, which is always perfect in everything. (This would be an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY if KH had ever adapted Treasure Planet, and if it ever gets the mind to adapt Treasure Planet then even if I don't care about that game I will immediately declare that Amelia/Doppler takes the KH canon OTP crown. *taps watch* Get on it Squenix)

Non-canon OTP: SoRiku, which I counted as "basically canon" after DDD until III decided it wasn't sure. But I'm just a sucker for how DDD is the two of them all "HE'S GOT MY BACK AND I'VE GOT HIS AND I'D DO ANYTHING FOR HIM SO LONG AS HE'S HAPPY." It's just the best kind of Friends-to-Lovers, except when you take all canon into account it's Friends-to-Rivals-to-Enemies-to-Friends-to-Lovers and that's a very juicy dynamic. BUT ALSO: VexDem, which is a nostalgia ship SO STRONG I had to accept that it eclipsed my former Vexen ships by a mile and I wanted to go back to my roots. That one, I have a much longer essay about that I'll just have you refer to so I don't repeat myself for pages. To make a long story short, their scene in III was JUST DELICIOUS.

most badass character: OOF THEY'RE ALL BADASS but in the end it's between Sora and Aqua, because Sora gets the widest RANGE of abilities across the series that he masters while Aqua gets the most POWERFUL abilities due to her Mastery (Command Styles seem like they'd be the most OP things ever in-universe and I'm here for it because flashy battle moves make brain go brr).

pairing I am not a fan of: SOKAI, Xehaqus, RikuNami, Vanitas/anyone not evil

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): OH BOY. KAIRI THE MOST. YOU ALL KNOW WHY: lack of screen time, Fridging for drama, forced romance to invite death flags (they really wanted to milk that death to get people talking didn't they?), giving Alyson Stoner ZERO direction to actually follow up on Hayden Panettiere's performance. But then I remember that they made Vexen redeem and lose his entire personality and I just...uuugghhhh. I can't believe he died twice in this series. And then Demyx is FUN but also I know he's flipped sides as well, which means he won't be fun much longer! Xehanort seems to switch motivations to whatever makes him the biggest threat (and several of Eraqus' old flaws seem to be mysteriously glued onto him), Sora isn't a motormouth anymore, Riku just doesn't get anyone who cares about him anymore because everyone's distracted by Sora and Kairi, IS ANYBODY GOING TO ADDRESS THE ACTUAL ISSUES THAT DROVE THE WAYFINDER TRIO APART, oh God Marluxia and Larxene you're good guys now what have they done to you

favourite friendship: I really like each of the trios. But you know what's even BETTER than the trios? If you put...all of the trios together...meaning Sora, Riku, Kairi, Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Aqua, Terra, Ven, Roxas, Xion, Lea, Hayner, Pence, Olette...and then you added Isa back in there...and you gave them Ienzo...and you brought back Naminé...and you say that Subject X is Strelitzia and you have her turn back up so she can have justice done...AND YOU HAVE AN ULTRA KEYBLADE GROUP OF FRIENDS. As for Vexen, any purely platonic relationship I have for him is a crossover but trust me I have many crossover pals for he

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: See everyone I listed above in the friendship question. They can either mentor me or let me be their big sis/mom. But also, I will GLADLY be Merlin or Yen Sid's daughter. (But also would I kiiiiinda wanna be a VexDem daughter? This is the worst idea. Still wanna try)

[theskyexists]

Spyfall part 1 (spoilers)

Ok so.

I was pleasantly surprised.

I really was.

I thought this was going to be another disaster ( which for me watching a chibs ep means: I am stewing in frustration during and afterwards I think what in the heck was that,  it doesn’t make ANY sense)

I appreciate how the trailer (the good one) was almost completely taken from this first episode - that was well done. I’m not as happy that the motorbiking was much more fun and cool in the trailer than the episode in which it didn’t really involve any stakes only reinforced by all the bullets hitting the motorbikes - harmlessly??

I have to say - that twist. Uh.............???? All I could think was, really? REALLY?? Already? Huh?? I couldn’t believe it. I literally was like - surely not. You’re not now implying this. How can you reboot Missy after ONE series break? That’s really...like, it did not feel right. And I’ll be honest, I was just straight up disappointed by a male Master. Then I thought, well, maybe we’re going to get a worthy opponent for the Doctor.....? :/

However, I like the actor. He gave O a lot of humanity - interestingly. Like O as a character - bit sad he doesn’t exist.

I actually liked the directing, i noticed that the very, very up close stuff - it now really gave a little more subtle panic vibe. The music was.

The pace seemed high to me - so check. Chibs fixed a big problem of mine.

Lots of character moments. Check. Though not being a native speaker and having no access to subtitles i had to really listen very VERY hard for those interactions. I liked the ‘iced tea - possibly.’

We briefly get to find out how the companions are dealing with travelling in combination with their regular lives. Check. Alright then. Graham even discusses it - the temporal disorientation.

The companions are PUT IN DANGER. check, fuckin hell finally. There’s just a bit of suspense in this.

Loved the decided focus on Yaz and Ryan. Check. Ryan being a normal kid not trained for this shit and Yaz smoothing the conversation, taking risks, asking sharp questions, modelling herself after the Doctor - I really like how they contrasted that.

I suspect Ryan casually noticing the weird statue in the glass case is going to be relevant however. (if not - sigh)

Really really liked how Chibs really worked at NOT undercutting the Doctor -  giving her clear moments of authority and genius and unaffectedness as the Doctor is supposed to get.  ‘i got an upgrade’ and having the Doctor chewing people out, interrogating them, negotiating with them - WITHOUT getting self-conscious or self-deprecating - lots of confidence - all of that helped along by multiple special agents coming for the Doctor - implying the need for more force, C mistaking Graham (i like that lil moment) but losing his argument to her, O being such a fan, and the Doctor sassing so much - he really worked on rendering her authority.

He only put in two moments:  ‘I don’t understand’ and ‘I think it’s laughing at you Doc’ - ‘I know that!’ which was so similar to the Tsuranga Conundrum I guess Chibs is going to buckle down on this specific stuff (and I can see how the Doctor sometimes simply admitting to not knowing might be a deliberate and interesting choice) - well if it’s balanced like this it’s alright. NOT so happy about this RANDOM SPY DUDE telling her to go back inside - which is clearly something Chibs wanted to emphasise AGAIN because that bit was completely isolated, that she should listen to other people - always just your regular self-sacrificial well-meaning men!!! (turns out lol they always get killed if she listens to them but the narrative doesn’t acknowledge that.) And i Hate it.

Also actually, that ‘i don’t understand’ was about multiple earths, and she’d just heard that the aliens were going to conquer the ‘universe’, implying they were from somewhere else. Like, if the very normal viewer (me) can see the writing on the wall, then why the fuck can’t the Doctor. I just wish Chibs would stop emphasising his need for his character not to figure out the plot at that moment - at great cost to the character and accompanying power fantasy.

Most of all, I thought the acting was great. Jodie built in a LOT more calm and authority (the script explicitly allowed her that) but also lots of quirkiness. Graham really got a wonderful supporting role dynamic with the Doctor as he does at his best - emphasising her go go go attitude and genius, and Yaz got to have a near-death experience. Bit weirded out that once again, it’s not the Doctor who deals with the fallout of a mission which she’d explicitly sent Yaz on. I also got some VERY ominously heterosexual vibes from Ryan and Yaz there....mostly because of the sister angle.... hmmmm

I liked the topicalness of ‘VOR’ and the dependence of national governments on their expertise and resources but I have no idea where it’s going or whether Chibs just wanted to point out: yeah tech giants (esp google) are powerful. kay. true.

Liked the Doctor doing some computer stuff bc it tickled that women programming narrative.

Loved Graham and Ryan bantering. Loved the moment in the TARDIS with the creatures getting in and Yaz pulling Doctor to attention. Loved the moment that the Doctor was playing a totally different game from blackjack extremely seriously. hahaha. strangely enough loved the moment between O and Yaz in the casino as well though I don’t know what it means. Maybe nothing. (MAYBE YAZ BECOMES THE MASTER)

Anyway as a viewer who’s not super good at theorising - i was like.....????????

A lot of stuff is uh - strange. e.g. Why can the scanner identify 93% human dna but not the 7% alien (or whatever it is) dna? Not sure why Yaz would be able to wipe the camera images of them from a distance (???) but then Barton got them recovered no probs. The car stuff took a bit too long but eh. I also in retrospect have no idea why they’d try to assassinate them via car. Also let’s not talk about everybody sprinting at the same speeds as a plane during take-off.

Anyway. The ‘monsters’ sure are - not exactly scary - but a bit typical. I liked the implication of them not being from this universe bc it’s a bit different. But if the Master is in league with them it’s uhhhh well it’s quite typical. I enjoyed this episode riffing on the spy genre. That is to say, they carried it off - watching the preview i was like...why spies??? but they asked the same question and it worked.

I feel like it would have been possible to make this a little bit more scary, just a little bit more scary. I appreciate that them playing with the lights was supposed to be  that - but surely there’s a more scary way to represent creatures not from this universe - for horror purposes? there is such a primal fear you can tap into.

ANYWAY

the Master literally spelling out ‘everything you know isn’t real’ or whatever makes me feel hopeful about this being not just the face of it all. Multiple universes, multiple masters?, and Yaz got hella zapped and then zapped right back into the midst of the team? interesting huh....

what a weird episode to start off a season with and whether he makes it work or not - that IS quite brave.

forgot to say: they really love instantly killing off their famous guest actors. think Fry did quite a good job with what he got.

also one more thing i LOVED; the Doctor threw herself against the door of the cockpit when the bomb went off in some sort of attempt to protect her companions. wanted that from the Sonic Bomb in Tsuranga (it just fit) and glad i got it here.

when part 2 gets here i might still think: what in the heck that didn’t make ANY sense.

[whatthefuuuuuuccckkkk]

God I just cant stand greg. He's like that one character that ruins a show for me. He's a dick. He's condescending. He's disrespectful. He belittles rebecca. He's controlling. He's entitled.

Original greg I was interested in. I never thought him and rebecca were good for each other at all because he was always so judgemental and negative and mean to her. But at least old greg was an interesting character whose storyline I was interested in.

New greg? Literally WHY. No purpose. If you get rid of a character let them fuck off. The recasting is such bullshit to me. Okay he's a "new guy" I get it. They didnt recast the other ones. And the recasting didnt work. New greg is too cute and happy looking. Like the show said, he's grown but not changed. The new greg doesnt have that same attitude. He's just bland and boring.

The character itself. What does he have to offer? To me, nothing. Extreme pessimism. Rebecca is enthusiastic and has nerdy childish interests she's quirky and passionate and greg is none of those things. That's who she is. Greg thinks he's too cool for everything. He's arrogant and thinks he's better than everyone. What kind of relationship is it to feel like your dragging someone along? Not a good one. I dont think bickering is endearing or cute. What do they have in common? They like food? Everyone likes food. They both have issues? Everyone has issues. And this thing about him forgiving her about his dad is frankly fuckin weird. That should be a deal breaker, to any normal person. I feel like he's framed as a good guy for being forgiving but its just fuckin weird.

And I feel like letting greg move on and have another life was a great ending for his character. But this whole "actually this place IS for everyone and it's MY fault and EVERYONE should end up in their hometown to be happy" like...wut. could've been a lesson that different strokes for different folks and all that. A lesson in letting things go. Some people have happy endings in separate places. But no. Couldnt do that. Cant move forward apparently.

P.s if you disagree keep your opinions to yourself. This is not an invitation to debate about a fictional character on a fictional show. I'm ranting with my opinion and I only wanna talk to people who share that opinion or can add onto it. Greg stans be gone

[tanadrin]

Map Editors I Have Known And Loved

Much as my favorite part of any RPG is the character creation screen, my favorite part of any RTS (and many other genres of video game) is the map editor, where it’s included. This is a brief review of different map editing experiences for different games based on the time I’ve spent with them.

Warcraft 2

One of the first, wayyy back in the dark days of the mid-90s. Good for little besides making melee maps, really, due to the absence of a trigger system (as I recall).I was too young to really be able to experiment with its mechanics, and mostly used it as a glorified version of a Paint program, because I liked Wc2′s distinctive art style.

Age of Empires 2

AoE2 is/was a freaking terrific game, but (and probably because the campaigns the game shipped with didn’t need more than it provided) the trigger system of its in-game editor is not super sophisticated. Third-party editors and utilities supplement the default modding tools, and modding AoE2 is easier than ever with the HD edition, but if you want to do something super elaborate you’re going to need to do a lot of quirky tricks and editing of database values. I still love the AoE2 map editor, because I love building huge elaborate isometric recreations of medieval European cities, and then wrecking them with a giant army of Elite Mangudai and trebuchets.

Deus Ex: GOTY Edition

An FPS, but it came with a variation on the Unreal engine level editor that was, despite requiring a fair bit of knowledge about the engine to make it really useful, was still great for a kind of conceptual Lego, building beautiful austere environments with careful lighting you could walk around in (and shoot up with a GEP gun). Again, I was a little too young and a little too impatient to master the subtler aspects of DX level design, like triggers and scripting and whatnot, and the tools provided, though powerful, didn’t hold your hand at all. Still, full marks for making the inner workings of the game robustly exposed to modders.

Starcraft

The original Starcraft and the BW expansion have a lot to recommend them: a great kind of redneck-punk scifi aesthetic, some seriously fun campaigns, and some seriously fun multiplayer (the panic instilled by “nuclear launch detected,” etc.); the map editor was great because it had pretty decent unit editing capabilities, and an extremely good trigger system--plus you could make your own voiced mission briefings, string missions together as campaigns, etc., etc. A lot of what you couldn’t do was supplemented by third-party editors, and playing around with SC’s trigger system trying to get all kinds of weird things to work laid a lot of the cognitive groundwork for learning how to think and clarify ideas when I started learning actual programming languages like Python. Rates very highly on both the “purity of form” and “purity of spirit” scales, but it’s nothing compared to

Warcraft 3

Hoooooooo boy

I have a sentimental attachment to wc3 map editing like nothing else. There were whole summers I spent playing custom games on battle.net, and probably thousands of ideas I played around with in the editor itself, but never quite finished, because let me tell you, this bad boy is as far as I’m concerned the gold standard for map editors. It was released in a somewhat limited form with RoC, but around the time TFT came out, they updated the editor to a much more full-featured version, and they eventually also released all the plugins necessary to make Wc3 models with third-party programs. Combined with the idiosyncratic-but-actually-kinda-useful form of custom game searching, the result was, as anyone with a passing familiarity with the wc3 modding scene probably knows, one of the greatest flowerings of modding creativity in video game history. Out of this crucible of innovation came among other things a deep vein of tower defense maps, elaborations on the Aeon of Strife custom games from SC, and out of those, eventually, the DotA maps--leading to DotA Allstars and thence DotA 2.

The Wc3 editor lets you fuck with literally every conceivable value in the game, comes with an exceedingly powerful trigger system, lets you make custom units and abilities and buildings, and where it can’t do what you want it to, also just lets you script shit directly. I love it so much. It is my happy place; the little “doot doo do do doot DOO” that sounds when you start it up gives me a jolt of delight every time, years later.

Homeworld 2/Homeworld Remastered

Honorable mention to the most fun I have ever had in a melee RTS with my pants on. The maps here are exceedingly simple: you edit them with a text editor. But true 3d space battles--true 3d gorgeous space battles with a 70s sci fi aesthetic--are impossible to underrate in my book, and it helps that the Homeworld series has genuinely delightful gameplay mechanics. It also has a pretty good modding scene, with the inevitable Star Trek and Star Wars and BSG mods, because while the game isn’t super easy to mod, and has nothing in the way of built-in modding tools, it isn’t actively hostile to modding the guts of it like some games I could mention (cough cough Paradox cough). Confession: I’ve never tried to mod HW2. I have played a shit ton of it, though, and I live in the vain hope that one day someone will be like, “You know what? Not only is it time to bring RTSes back, 3d space battles are actually the fuckin’ best,” and make another game like it.

Starcraft 2

I haven’t played around as much with the Sc2 editor, because while I played a lot of Sc2 melee during WoL and HotS days, the actual experience of finding custom games with SC2 blows. Rather than Wc3′s “here’s all the custom games currently going, knock yourself out bub” thing, with Sc2 they tried to start a curated game list thing and added rating games and all this other wacky stuff that means it’s actually kinda impossible to find things 1) that you like and 2) that people are actually playing. I haven’t touched Sc2 in years, though; maybe it’s gotten better? I doubt it. The editor itself is, based on my limited experience, just the natural iteration of the Wc3 editor: a little more robust, possibly a little more confusing at first as a result, but it’s got that same classic Blizzard polish that makes their modding tools such a joy to use. But between the fact that the scifi aesthetic doesn’t appeal to me as much when it comes to making custom games, and the sucky game finding interface, I think I’m mostly holding out for WC3: Reforged to scratch that RTS modding itch.

DotA 2

Valve did the community a huge solid and released its developer tools to let people mod its hat collecting/racial and homophobic slurs archiving engine, DotA 2, but the custom game search features suffer from the same problem that plagues SC2, only even worse. Just give me a fucking server browser!!!! FPSes had this solved in like 1994!!!

It doesn’t help that DotA is built in what is fundamentally, like, an FPS engine (ok, probably that’s not an accurate characterization, but it is the engine they devised for like Half-Life 2 and TF2), which means that the developer tools feel clunky and counterintuitive and wayyy too complicated if you’re thinking of them as RTS modding tools. Plus, since not everybody has the time and the professional pride Blizzard used to have to create powerful, polished, standalone modding tools, they’re not gonna hold your hand at all. And the fact that MOBAs/ARTSes have mostly colonized the space classic RTSes used to fill means that what you really have is, like, 5% of the assets you’d need to actually make an RTS mod for the DotA engine. It would probably be easier to make an FPS in the DotA engine than a true, Warcraft-style RTS. (Someone did once make an FPS in the Warcraft 3 engine. It was... actually kind of fun? But seriously goofy.)

If I were a smarter and more hardworking person, I could probably build an RTS-like thing in DotA’s modding tools, but I am not. Plus, there are elements of DotA level design that suffer from the same problems as

Later iterations of the Unreal engine

One thing I loved about the classic UT engine, which the original Deus Ex used, is that (though it was prone to frustrating geometry bugs) it let you tinker around with architecture directly in the space it provided. I played with the level editors of some later UT games (principally UT3, I think?), and with the push toward fancier graphics of later generations, there was also a push toward use of a lot more doodads and 3d assets in levels to provide what I would think of as basic architectural details. I’m sure there are solid graphical and programmatic reasons for this. I’m a dilettante at best at this sort of thing, and I can’t speak to those. But the downside of that was that unless you have some 3d modeling chops, and a measure of planning and patience, the sandboxy/creative appeal of dicking around in the level editor was much reduced. That’s not a criticism of the tools provided so much as it is a neutral observation and, perhaps, me mourning a little bit the fact that older, simpler games, by virtue of their simplicity, are often more amenable to modding. One thing we lose in an era of ever-more-elaborate triple-A titles is a fundamental transparency in how games are constructed; they become super complex, teetering programmatical edifices, and while that often allows for interesting new developments in gameplay (and shiny graphics!), for the person who wants to learn How Games Work by taking them apart and poking around, well, it’s harder. That’s one reason why I’ve never gotten into Skyrim modding, even though it looks awesome and super powerful.

(the U4 engine “map editor” equivalent is a suite of game dev tools, and sold as such, but I’m not really talking about standalone game dev tools that are meant to allow you to build a game from the ground up in this post, so that’s beyond the scope of what I’m interested in. Obviously the more general and powerful a modding tool is, the more it shades directly into that; and there’s something of an artificial distinction between a “total conversion mod” and “a new videogame,” like that between a musical and an opera, that mostly has to do with spirit and intent and marketing.)

EU4, CK2

I am including these because I love modding these games, even though the “modding tools” for them are Notepad++ and GIMP. It’s nothing but images and weirdly formatted text files (and little documentation), and it’s terrible and frustrating! But I love it! My big complaint is actually the lack of ability to alter fundamental game mechanics: everything you can change about the game easily is the accidence of it: its appearance, the map, what countries and characters you can control. The underlying mechanics--the spirit of the game--is frustratingly immutable, except via very clunky workarounds, and while I understand why you might not go out of your way to make these things easily manipulable (it’s a lot of extra work to uncertain benefit), and why Paradox games rely on an event-driven system that is both like and much unlike RTS trigger systems, it is a little disappointing. But EU4 and CK2 drive very different parts of my imagination (geography and politics and economics) than, say, Wc3 (strategy and fighting and tactical finesse), in the same way that Deus Ex drove yet another part (the architectural, the spatial, the atmospheric). One day, maybe, someone will invent a game that somehow captures everything I love about each, a kind of  transcendental game of everything, with modding tools to match, but I doubt it, and I’m OK with it even if that never happens.

Honorable mention: the Civ series

4x games are moooostly outside my scope of interest here, but I do remember Civ2 having a terrific editor with lots of opportunities for modding buildings and techs, and the great thing was that units and cities and terrain were all just very simple images that you could edit with an in-game tool. SMAC/AX was also pretty moddable, had a built in scenario editor/cheat menu, and Civ 3/4/5 have fun map editing and scenario building tools. Turn based games appeal to me a little less inherently, because they lack the thing I love about RTSes, the “oh shit PANIC” moments where you reflexes and quick thinking become super important, but the Civ series does have great strategic and econ management elements.

Other games

There are whole genres of games--Sim City, Dwarf Fortress, Minecraft, the building aspect of 4X games--that capture in small or large part what I love about map editors, with the same build-create-tweak-adjust cycle, though obviously on a distinct footing since they’re making them an actual game rather than a tool with which to create games. It scratches a similar itch, though: it’s all about combining aesthetic design with design of systems. I have a radical thesis which is that every game is improved with the inclusion of a map editor. The existence of a representational, navigable space is intrinsic to almost every genre of game (every game I can think of, though I don’t exclude the possibility that there are ones I haven’t thought of that don’t have that), and being able to use the same underlying rules--or to iterate on those rules--and apply them to a new space, especially a new space you can design for optimum fun rather than just relying on procedurally generated (inevitably samey) space, extends the life of games considerably.

My earliest and biggest interest is in RTSes with map editors, though, because I have a fervent, unquenchable love for the genre. Alas, as noted, it’s a genre that has never been super popular and is currently pretty marginal. THe challenges of making a good RTS engine--nevermind a fun-to-play RTS--are considerable, especially if you care about things like multiplayer (which is my favorite part of RTSes). A lot of entries in that genre now are in some sense hybrid. MOBAs, of course; but games like EU4 have RTSlike elements (and, being pausable, are in some ways the best of both worlds with regard to RTSes and turn-based games). I live in hope that the RTS genre will experience a minor renaissance one of these days, and we’ll get something worthy of being the successor to WC3 or AoE2. If you’re working on that--please, please, I’m begging you, release it with a map editor.

[ayearofpike]

Spooksville #23: Phone Fear

Pocket Books, 1998 113 pages, 9 chapters ISBN 0-671-00271-6 LOC: CPB Box no. 1872 vol. 29 OCLC: 40402284 Released November 1, 1998 (per B&N)

When Bryce’s phone rings, and the caller demands he do horrible things to a local man or face consequences, the gang figures it’s a prank caller out to get them. But then Bryce gets hurt, and Adam gets the next call, and they know it’s serious. How could someone know everything about everybody everywhere at every time? Maybe it’s not someone, but someTHING, come to life and possessing a malevolent desire to undermine humanity.

As complex as this cover is, it’s a drastic oversimplification of the story within. I feel like here, and also with The Creepy Creature, we’re starting to get more of the genre expectation that there should be a gross green monster out to get the kids in the book. Also, notice how the characters on the covers are not as consistent as with the first few stories. Like, we hadn’t seen Charisma Carpenter show up before, and now she’s being attacked by some kind of telephone lizard.

It might fit with the huge jump in time we’re being expected to swallow, or perhaps Pike is glossing over it while nodding to the fact that it’s been two years since the start of this series. Because in the opening pages, we find that Adam and Cindy are now two-year Spooksville residents, getting used to the town but still plagued by its evil and quirkiness. So that means the kids are now fourteen? Pike doesn’t say, but they have to be, even though I’m fairly certain he marked them as twelve as recently as The Living Dead. (EDIT: They are still twelve on page ONE of The Creepy Creature, and they’re twelve AGAIN on page 31 of The Witch’s Gift. Obviously Pike just fucked up.) Still, even though time has been sort of glossed over for the last couple of titles, I think this jump might be too big to swallow. Makes me think Pike just wasn’t paying attention.

Still, we learn that the school year is almost over (which is, again, another big jump, as Pee-Pants was just wearing Santa jammies six books ago) and the kids are looking forward to summer. They’re discussing plans and hopes when Bryce’s phone rings. Why does a twelve fourteen-year-old have a cell phone in 1998? Well, he had one hidden before, so this might not be so weird. But the voice on the other end tells him to go break the postman’s windows. Obviously Bryce is not going to do that, but they decide to go warn the guy that someone is maybe out to get him. On the way, though, a black van races out of nowhere and jumps the curb and clips Bryce, breaking his leg.

They get their friend to the hospital and stabilized, but then start talking about who might be after them. Is it just one person? How did he move so quickly to know that Bryce wasn’t going to enact the evil action and have him punished? Why does he sound like a computer?  They try to go to the postman’s to do some research, but the guy isn’t answering his door. In fact, he blows out his own windows with a shotgun to scare the kids away and stop them going after him, like he knows something and is protecting himself. 

Adam is still holding onto Bryce’s phone, and it rings again as they’re walking away. This is his first experience hearing the voice: it’s oddly mechanical, like it’s being diffused through a computer somehow. The speaker identifies himself as Nernit, and tells Adam to go burn down some old lady’s house with her inside. Again, he obviously refuses, and this is when the gang is set upon by a strange girl in a long coat with a knife. After aliens and witches and demons and giant robot crabs, a teenage girl is no match for Sally and Cindy, who quickly disarm her. It turns out that she is, in fact, working for Nernit, and that she was sent here from a neighboring town just in case Bryce and Adam failed to carry out their tasks.

So it’s more than just local? Watch starts to put some pieces together. What is it that uses the phone line to communicate, and has a worldwide presence and a near-bottomless found of knowledge to draw from? Might it sound like a computer because it IS a computer? Or perhaps a network of computers, some kind of, I don’t know, international network? That pronounces its name “Nernit” because that’s how the speech-to-text program parses “Neernitt,” an anagram for Internet?

But now Watch is pretty sure he can get in touch with the being that has emerged from connectivity consciousness. He goes online and Googles whatever-search-engine-it-was-in-1998s “Neernitt,” which quickly leads to a black screen with red text talking directly to him. The presence refuses to talk or negotiate, insisting that humans are tools and not valued as equals to it. But Watch is pretty sure we have something Neernitt wants: a body. Autonomy. Freedom to get out of the computer and do something with our physical selves. Watch can give this to Neernitt, and of course it agrees.

There’s one catch: they have to produce the body in a week. We don’t have the know-how or the technology — but the Lemurians did, and it just so happens that they buried a robot at the end of the last book. Adam’s all salty about digging her up to befoul her final form with this megalomaniacal computer monster, but Watch feels it’s the only bargaining chip they have. And so he works nonstop with Bryce’s help over the course of a week. They don’t have anything else to do, because Neernitt’s minions are guarding the house so they can’t leave, with orders to shoot to kill if they try. (I guess what’s weird about this, what doesn’t fit with the rest of the series, is that it is so LATE getting to Spooksville. Normally the bizarre shit STARTS in this town.)

Adam is concerned that his friend is going over to the dark side. He sees only one hope: get hold of a gun somehow and take the robot body hostage so that they can get free and then ... what? He hasn’t really thought that far ahead, and if Neernitt is, indeed, global, there’s nowhere they can run that they can’t be traced and taken down. Still, it’s all he’s got. He swipes a weapon from a sleeping guard and points it at the robot head, which really only serves to make us all realize how expendable humans are to Neernitt. It quickly and remorselessly gains the upper hand, but before anyone can act in killing Adam, Watch leaps in the way. He insists that he needs to protect his friend, and that the project is not completeable without him, and so if Neernitt commands the shooting it will never have a body. So Neernitt concedes and lets the kids live. For now. (Weirdly, the girl with the long coat slept through the whole standoff.)

A couple days later, the body is ready, and Watch plugs it into the computer so Neernitt can download itself. Now it is free to roam and act however it likes — but first it commands the humans under its control to go rest. They end up gathering in Watch’s room, talking about what life is going to be like under the unmerciful claw of an all-seeing robot network. Watch is actually kind of interested in the idea of becoming a robot himself, though, and the new girl concurs that it could be pretty good. So they get up and go back to Neernitt, where Watch encourages him to unplug and go outside. Neernitt agrees that it’s time, on one condition: Watch must demonstrate how little he cares for a human body by shooting one of his colleagues.

He doesn’t hesistate: He picks up the provided rifle and blasts the new girl right in the chest. This is enough for Neernitt, who allows himself to be unplugged. But you know what that means? That means his consciousness is now limited to the robot body he is in, and tricksy Watch has built in an electromechanical overload circuit that allows him to short out the computer and effectively kill off the robot. So we’re all safe! But didn’t Watch just shoot a dude?

Yes — with a blank. (Fuckin’ Pike and his blanks, I swear to god.) It turns out that New Girl is the mastermind behind the whole thing. Neernitt isn’t a naturally occurring emerging consciousness, it’s a program, written by this girl to effect change and evolution upon humanity. Watch figured it out because of speech patterns and commonalities between them, and also that even though she was supposed to have been asleep during the standoff the computer in her room was on. She admits that she’s controlled Neernitt since the beginning. She’s tired of feeling things, of being hurt, and figures that if she were a robot she wouldn’t have to feel anymore. (There is NO backstory or exposition on any of this; just a teenager being moody, I guess.) But she is surprised to have started having GOOD feelings for Bryce, which Cindy does not care for at all. But now, maybe she’s ready to suck it up and deal with the pain of existence if it can go along with happy and warm feelings.

Does this end the same way as the previous one? Kinda, right? With the exception that THIS girl is not actually a robot, and she doesn’t die in the end. I didn’t think I’d see this in Spooksville, actually, but it parallels the Archway books in that Pike seems to see the writing on the wall and is winding himself down to complete the contract with the bare minimum of effort. There’s only one more book left in the series, and I’ve been led to understand it goes too quickly to effectlvely wrap things up. Let’s find out if he actually gives us the goddamn Watch backstory I’ve been wanting for twenty-three books. 

[limbokid]

Kenny and Bebe for the domestic ship memes 🖤

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ @sugarbebe​ ♥ sent an ask meme!! || status: accepting. 

SEND ME A SHIP AND I WILL TELL YOU: 

( THIS POST IS FUCKING LONG, I’M SORRY )

—who’s more dominant: I think they’re almost equally ranked on this, though since Kenny has much more patience than Bebe does, I believe he would be more passive about things than she would. Unless he’s sees something as unfair/unjust, he could be pretty assertive and confrontational so in a sense pretty dominant. But openly Bebe would be the more dominant of the two.

—who’s the cuddler: They’re both affectionate but I think Kenny would be more of the clinger here. He primarily uses affection to show his love. When it comes down to it though, he’s more physical than he is verbal. Bebe likes being showered with attention and affection from what I know, so i think this works out well for the both of them.

—who’s the big spoon/little spoon: Haha, honestly when these two come together their actions/choices are usually different from traditional standards. I'm pretty sure even though Kenny’s like SIX inches taller than Bebe, she would probably big spoon him. Often. He also lowkey prefers being held.

—what’s their favorite non-sexual activity: I think they would enjoy simple activities that would allow them to communicate without feeling claustrophobic. Something like, exploring areas they’ve never been before; slow walks in natural environments; the cliche car on hilltop- listening to music. They would probably take a lot of pictures together or of each other making stupid faces or just plainly goofing off. I’m sure they occasionally do movie marathons in their spare time. I also think they would enjoy a fair share of aggressive activities, as they’re each competitive in their own right. It could be anything from a Karaoke Duet to Laser Tagging, Ice Skating to out doing each other in Carnival games. Basically two extremes, really chill or no chill.

—who uses all the hot water: Kenny’s used to his water heater malfunctioning. He’s showered in cold water hundreds of times, I don’t think it would faze him much anymore. So. Bebe, no doubt about it.

—Most trivial thing they fight over: If it’s a domestic issue?? Taxes..?? I’m not sure tbh?? Maybe, messiness?? Kenny has a habit of never putting things back in their rightful places. That might start an argument?? IDK???

On the other hand, if it’s a relationship issue, I believe it would be absence and or lack of trust from either party. There’s something about loving someone tremendously and then having them leave you with nothing but a letter; never seeing them for another fifteen years -COUGH- that could potentially fuck with someone’s psyche y’know?? ALTHOUGH, when someone you love is in constant danger, and frequently disappears for days to weeks, without any explanation that’s also pretty fucking shady LOL. The reasons are valid at least..!!

—who does most of the cleaning: Aha, I think we’ve discussed this HC before, huehue. They’re pretty equal here. They sometimes team up and purge the entire fucking house together. 

—what has a season pass on their dvr/Who controls the netflix queue: LMAO, “DVR.” MY MUSE IS TRIGGERED. Anyway, I think Bebe controls the Netflix queue ( or y’know.. Cordelia probably hogs up the whole fUckin account ) since Kenny doesn’t really care. He just wants to spend time with her when he can. Possibly cuddle, possibly bang, possibly O.D on leftovers. -Unless they promised to binge a specific show together. THEN “BRING THE POPCORN AND SCOOT OVER BITCH, LET’S FUCKIN’ DO THIS.”

—who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: Hmm.. I not sure. I have a feeling that Bebe couldn’t be fucking bothered to talk to the landlord. Honestly, she probably hates them haha. Either she’s best friends with the landlord or YEET. In short, it would  T R I G G E R  Kenny, but I think he would do it.

—who leaves their stuff around: Hahahahahaha. Kenny. Maybe even Bebe?? I still think Ken would win this round by a LOT. Back home, his room would stay messy for months, until sooner or later he had a SUDDEN urge to clean it all up. He was really good with laundry though!! At least.. after he ran out of it. Washing everyone’s laundry was actually one of his many  chores. Unless their washer broke down, which it would.. constantly. If this occurred the whole family would just collect their piles of laundry, and take it to the public Laundromat together. He’s just used to being messy- and then… tidy.

—who remembers to buy the milk: Probably Bebe. Kenny never… really.. got to buy groceries.. so.. In all seriousness, groceries weren’t a part of his chores, so he never made it a habit to apply this rule to his regimen. No matter who he lives with. He’s just used to missing a meal, so he doesn’t worry about it.

—who remembers anniversaries:  Both!! Even though Bebe sometimes acts like a t’sundere, she totally loves romance. And luckily, Kenny is the type to pay attention to things that matter to his S/O’s. I think they’re both romantic’s and know how to woo each other well. So all that’s left is WHO SAYS “happy anniversary!!” FIRST.

—who cooks normally: Well, Kenny passed Home Ec with flying colors, and he’s actually a decent cook so. I suppose Ken would?? I can remember if Bebe was bad at cooking or not, but i think she tries anyway. Which Kenny finds extremely adorable, whether she fails or not.

—how often do they fight: I honestly don’t think they fight unless the problem is UNAVOIDABLE. I think they both kind of don’t mention anything until it get’s really bad. Like “well shit. you almost died, i think this might be a sign…”

—what do they do when they’re away from each other: I think they’re either working or indulging in their favorite hobbies. There’s also that whole concept called a social life, friends and shit. Crazy, I know!! It’s so weird how their entire existence doesn’t revolve around each other and that they haven’t surgically SEWN THEMSELVES TOGETHER. They’re such a strange & quirky couple!!!!

—nicknames for each other: UM. -SWEATS- HA, HAHAHAHAHa. HAHAHAHAHA. ( inside jokes are gr8 )

—who is more likely to pay for dinner: Kenny would try to pull that chivalry shit, because my boi is a gentleman, but if Bebe wants to be an independent  woman who doesn’t need some hobo’s money, then Ken won’t fight it. He likes being pampered anyway.

—who steals the covers at night: Kenny is a pretty calm sleeper. He doesn’t move much, and he doesn’t really snore either. He does get hot easily, and he sometimes has recurring nightmares, he’s also a light sleeper but that’s about it. I think bebe wins this round. Ken wouldn’t mind this though, he would probably pull her in and big spoon her cocoon fortress.  

—what would they get each other for gifts: Ummmmmmmmm. I think Bebe would notice how he’s constantly tense and probably book a spa day for him. He’s never been to a spa, so I can imagine him being very uncomfortable at first but then ADORING it afterward. Kenny on the other hand would put on a costume from a her favorite movie character and make up their home to look like her favorite scene and play out her fantasies, no questions asked. “oh, you like drama bebe?? i’ll give fucking give you drama.” ( the movie could be about WW3 and HE STILL WOULDn’T GIVE A FUCk. “this is a little weird but sure babe i’ll cosplay hitler.” )

 —who kissed who first: According to our HC’s… We never decided.. Though, my gut is telling me that the first kiss was mutual. Mostly cause’ YOU KNOW HOW MY BOi FEELS ABOUT CONSENT. Unless they were shitfaced. Then my gut is probably wrong HAHA. Yeeeah, I’m gonna hit you up after this..

—who made the first move: Honestly Ken is a naturally flirtatious person, I think he probably made a move waaay into the friendship stage, but since it’s usually his default, Bebe probably didn’t even notice it. HAHAHA RIP.

—who remembers things: NO ONE. IT’S CANON AND MY MUSE IS FUCKING  T R I G G E R E D. Nah but, I think Bebe is probably that chick that has a really aesthetic planner with color coordination and everything, that she never really bothers to fill out and she just owns it and leaves it on her desk to feel proficient LOL. I’m just gonna give this one to the both of them. I think they can both be responsible when it’s needed. But of course, everyone has their mishaps.

—who started the relationship: I wanna say BEBE SO BAD. Things would be so much more IRONIC and hilarious.

—who cusses more: Probably Kenny, he’s got a SAILORS mouth yo. He’s not embarrassingly bad.. He knows when and where it’s the right time to say stupid shit. Usually..

—what would they do if the other one was hurt: Drop EVERYTHING. It doesn’t matter what they’re doing. I think they would be at each other’s side as soon as possible. They would heal each other, mentally and physically. Whether they’re in a romantic relationship or not. I believe that they care about each other immensely  

—who is the dirty talker: As I’ve said before Kenny’s more physical than verbal. He is a sexual person, but he’s MUCH more LUSTFUL if he loves/cares for the person. I think Bebe would probably take the cake here. Whether or not she does indulge in dirty talk. He really only does it upon request. ALTHOUGH…. If you get him drunk, there are no limits, he’ll say things that would drop Bebe from 1st to 10th place.

—a head canon: They text each other sweet, positive and fluffy messages when they’re away from each other. Just in case the other is having a really bad day.

[archirenaux]

Wait can I ask for Wynn and Niall on the "get to know my characters" thing? I'm interested in if you'd make changes now :)

yes you can!!! it was fun to see what i’ve discovered about them over the years, tbh, especially in the case of niall. i think he has changed the most vs. how he was when i first “made” him, like, 4-5 years ago? yikes.

01. Full name: Wynn Ercwlff Carmichael (I couldn’t actually remember the middle name I originally gave him so I went with the most Welsh bastard I could find)02. Best friend: I remain a BIG FAN of him being best friends with Marcas and Helbert.03. Sexuality: He’s an artiste... who knows.04. Favorite color: I won’t waste your time by naming them because he fore sure cannot decide, though he does keep coming back to pear green.05. Relationship status: Married B)06. Ideal mate: Wynn found his way into being a lil’ uptight under the careful watch of his mother and then after he started working with teenagers who can stress him tf out, so someone who would help him relax at the end of the day. Someone who doesn’t put too many expectations on him, or demand too much of him. (Not that he can’t handle responsibility, he just can’t really handle demanding people at this stage in life.) Someone funny, creative, and supportive. :’)07. Turn-ons: Nice smiles, lots of laughter, affection, a feeling of security with the person, compassion, and humor.08. Favorite food: Crempog/pancakes09. Crushes: His wife <333 ( as played by @theblushdahlia aka you)10. Favorite music: Duran Duran, Hall & Oates, Men at Work, aaaand probably Tears for Fears tbqh.11. Biggest fear: He got two. 1) Not being able to provide for his family and 2) waking up one day and feeling like he didn’t do enough re: his career in art/that he settled by becoming a teacher.12. Biggest fantasy: Rn his biggest fantasies really revolve around his children succeeding and being happy when they grow up? Lame!!! (jk)13. Bad habits: He’s so dang indecisive!!! Midnight snacking, biting the ends of pens and pencils and things, tries too hard to make people feel okay about something until they’re like “ok thx but pls stop”, can get kinda whiny about small things, leaves the toilet seat up a lot, and not to drag him but he probably drinks a lot of expensive juices.14. Biggest regret: His falling out with his mom because it was right on the cusp of her getting sick and he didn’t try to patch things up for awhile.15. Best kept secrets: He can’t count to 100. Lol jk. I think, for a long time, it was his family (specifically, the state of it and his relationships with them).16. Last thought: “When will these children finally all be asleep AT THE SAME TIME???”17. Worst romantic experience: That time he proposed to his gf at the time and she said no lol.18. Biggest insecurity: His art and his ability to make art.19. Weapon of choice: Even in the FWW verse I wouldn’t say his wand because he is just Not Great at defensive magic, so idk. He’s the least violent character I have, probably.20. Role Model: I don’t think he has a role model but in terms of someone who he respects and inspires him, it’d be Calista, especially after everything she’s gone through and how she’s such a great mom to their kids.

xxx

01. Full name: Niall Brennan Mulloy02. Best friend: [banging pots n pans together] JER-EM-Y WOOD ( @multisamicis​​ )03. Sexuality: Hetero but I mean, we all know the Jeremy/Joce/Niall ot3 is something he’d be into.04. Favorite color: [Niall Mulloy voice]: Who over 10 has a fuckin’ favorite color? (It’s a blue-gray.)05. Relationship status: Obviously it depends on the timeline, but where he is in the verse in which he currently exists, he is in fact in a loving and committed relationship with Marlene ( @theinglenook​ ​). <33306. Ideal mate: From his perspective, someone intelligent and relatively spontaneous, not boring or naive. Someone who’s not very dependent or WEIRD (lol he’s v. judgmental so he would not fare well with someone Quirky). He likes someone who can take charge but not necessarily controlling/bossin’ him around. But I also think he needs someone who will pull him out of shell (though, to be clear, I don’t mean in the He’s Shy type of shell, because he definitely isn’t, but the shell he’s constructed for himself that can limit the things he experiences or the people he interacts with cuz he Jaded and closed-off). Also, someone who’ll call him out when he’s a dick and not like, police his behavior but make him face the facts when he’s being ridiculous. And, depending on the timeline, someone who’s not only chill with him having a daughter but likes and is kind to her.07. Turn-ons: You know as well as I that he is a Butt Man(TM). But also, back to the taking charge thing →  ✓. Ummm. Long hair, good hygiene, lots of kissing, aaaand idk, I don’t want to sound redundant by saying intelligence but it’s true, but he’s also kinda shallow so like if you hot, he’s like “nice.”08. Favorite food: Forfar bridies09. Crushes: Other than the babysitter his parents hired when he was like, eight? His gal, Marlene.10. Favorite music: He’s not a huge music person, tbh. He will mostly listen to whatever his brother, Ian, is playing, which is 70′s/80′s punk music (Buzzcocks, Stiff Little Fingers, Joy Division, Ramones, etc). He’s been conditioned to enjoy it. But if he were to make the steps to explore more and see what he really likes, he’d be more into The Who and, like, Cream, haha. 11. Biggest fear: Losing the people he loves/cares about.12. Biggest fantasy: Tbh, to just be a good dad, brother, friend, bf, etc. He has always felt like he’s not doing enough irt his interpersonal relationships, but he’s reached a point where he wants to make an effort to be better.13. Bad habits: Can I call general apathy a bad habit? Lmao. But also, hardly remembers to do the dishes until there’s a full sink, judging people before he gets to know them, bad at communicating, swearing a lot, smoking, and ya know being generally unfriendly for no valid reason (though less so than he has in the past).14. Biggest regret: He has... A Few of those, but I guess his biggest one, in FWW verse, was that time he disappeared and didn’t tell anyone where he was for months LOL!15. Best kept secrets: He reeeally, really truly believes he let his brother down. Niall thinks he failed Ian in so many ways, but it’s something he doesn’t want to say aloud for fear of it being validated.16. Last thought: It was either about Maggie, Marlene, Jeremy, or work lmao.17. Worst romantic experience: He didn’t have very many romantic experiences before he got together with Marlene when he was around 18. But I guess if I took the definition of romantic much, much more loosely, I could say that the two-birds-one-day fiasco was like, super great while it happened, but the backlash was A Lot ahahahhaha.18. Biggest insecurity: Niall’s reluctant to show his emotions because he’s forgotten how and it makes him feel Weak when he does, so -- that!19. Weapon of choice: Tbh, I honestly don’t know. His fists? Prob.20. Role Model: His mom.  

[thomasbenton]

90-DEGREE RANT

Chances are this’ll be deleted in the wee hours of the morn, but...

It’s 90-fuckin-degrees in this apartment and I’ve had a couple light beers, plus a Cougar Town and two Parks + Recs, including the chest-poking season 2 finale.

Two points: weird and ordinary.

Ideal music for this is the entirety of Fluffy’s Black Eye.

Those are the best people. Anyone who seems ordinary, content to just live a plain old life without visibly reaching for the stars, they probably have an entire solar system of unexplored dreams, desires and fears inside them. I ran into these guys ‘n’ gals all the time working in the machine shop before this job. I’d rather work with the Parks + Rec characters than anyone.  They’re so beautifully diverse and weird.

Weird.

America is the weirdest country on the entire planet if you look at its entire history. We’re a nation of absolute fuckin’ weirdos. Read Thomas Pynchon’s Mason & Dixon. Get a taste of the freak show that was the first hundred years here. But we’re robotically obsessed with eliminating the weird, organic, absurd stuff now, that stuff that makes people so beautiful. When was the last time you saw a movie that was unconsciously weird? Not like friggin’ Tim Burton, just earnestly out there. This is why ‘70s TV is so good: Six Million Dollar Man, that’s friggin bizarre. He fights Bigfoot. Or Charlie’s Angels, or any of them. It’s all weird. But it’s so human. It’s so honest. It’s so straightforward and simple.

Simple is underrated. Do you know how hard it is to seem simple? Life is so complicated--every minute of this is such fertile soil for angst. And simple people don’t let it grow. They weed with amazing clarity and feeling and confusion, all at once. That’s humanity.

I don’t want to date Helena Bonham Carter in Sweeney Todd. I think I have, several times. But April? Absolutely. Someone fun and open and pained and angry and happy and quirky and weird.

It’s why Chris Pratt and Anna Farris seemed so ideal. And the truth is the Hollywood folk we envy are probably painfully dreary. The people around us that we never ask about, that we’ll never ask out, they’re the unexplored universes we’re longing for.

For now, until I delete it, here’s a meaningless toast to the stars.

[whatthefuuuuuuccckkkk]

God I just cant stand greg. He's like that one character that ruins a show for me. He's a dick. He's condescending. He's disrespectful. He belittles rebecca. He's controlling. He's entitled.

Original greg I was interested in. I never thought him and rebecca were good for each other at all because he was always so judgemental and negative and mean to her. But at least old greg was an interesting character whose storyline I was interested in.

New greg? Literally WHY. No purpose. If you get rid of a character let them fuck off. The recasting is such bullshit to me. Okay he's a "new guy" I get it. They didnt recast the other ones. And the recasting didnt work. New greg is too cute and happy looking. Like the show said, he's grown but not changed. The new greg doesnt have that same attitude. He's just bland and boring.

The character itself. What does he have to offer? To me, nothing. Extreme pessimism. Rebecca is enthusiastic and has nerdy childish interests she's quirky and passionate and greg is none of those things. That's who she is. Greg thinks he's too cool for everything. He's arrogant and thinks he's better than everyone. What kind of relationship is it to feel like your dragging someone along? Not a good one. I dont think bickering is endearing or cute. What do they have in common? They like food? Everyone likes food. They both have issues? Everyone has issues. And this thing about him forgiving her about his dad is frankly fuckin weird. That should be a deal breaker, to any normal person. I feel like he's framed as a good guy for being forgiving but its just fuckin weird.

And I feel like letting greg move on and have another life was a great ending for his character. But this whole "actually this place IS for everyone and it's MY fault and EVERYONE should end up in their hometown to be happy" like...wut. could've been a lesson that different strokes for different folks and all that. A lesson in letting things go. Some people have happy endings in separate places. But no. Couldnt do that. Cant move forward apparently.

P.s if you disagree keep your opinions to yourself. This is not an invitation to debate about a fictional character on a fictional show. I'm ranting with my opinion and I only wanna talk to people who share that opinion or can add onto it. Greg stans be gone