#like external events i didn't make happen

[some-stars]

i would like one (1) unit of emotional stability please

[glittercorvid]

i told my team i was leaving and every single one of them decided to quit too. leadership skills may not be perfect but i sure led them to the lifeboats when i noticed the ship had started taking on water!!

[multiplydifficult]

Dangit our friend is not replying. Might've gone to bed early or something.

We have been tired / out of it for a while lately.

We had a hobby class yesterday. I also went to the tuesday class in a different location. They tell us they have an event tonight (and some extra stuff all afternoon.)

I /swear/ they said the location was the same as the friday night class (near home, easy parking) not the tuesday night class (in town, awkard to navigate there and back, shit parking).

But i am at the friday location and they are not here. I am /definitely/ not early. So they must be in town.

Been sitting here for 15min tryna decide whether to brave town for the event (there'll be more through the year) or just say fuckit and go home. Where mum is and i have this little neurosis about justifying or explaining myself and she'll prob wanna know why we're back so early.

But we're just. So tired.

Edit: fuckit lets go home.

[arayapendragon]

how i shift 🦉

it took me years of experimenting, trial and error to realize i don’t need methods, subliminals and guided meditations to shift. while i do agree that these tools can help you shift, because they do work for many people, my recent experiences have helped me understand that all you truly need to shift is yourself, nothing else. and nothing can ever change that. 

you simply need to have an awareness, which you obviously do ahahaha. to shift, you just need to align that awareness to your desired reality. here’s how i do it:

i decide where i want to shift to, and think about that reality for a while

i acknowledge the fact that my desired reality exists somewhere in the multiverse, and that it is possible to become aware of it

i embrace a “fuck it, whatever happens, happens” mindset and let go. i detach from the outcome (to shift)

i become equally open to both waking up in my cr and waking up in my dr. i put neither event above the other, i am okay with either of them happening. if i shift, that’s great. if i don’t, that’s okay. i can always try again. i have all the time in the world to do so. 

i decide that i will wake up in my dr and fall asleep

i wake up in my dr 

i've noticed that each time i used this technique, i shifted successfully. its helped me with 2 intentional shifts, and several other shifts to one-off dr’s and random realities in the past, so i can assure you that this works! :) this is a simple technique for overthinkers or people who don’t like methods. it helps you embrace your natural talent, and proves how easy, effortless, and natural shifting can be. 

here’s my 2 success stories from using this technique:

last october i was taking an afternoon nap and spontaneously decided to shift to my hogwarts golden trio era dr. i fell asleep while affirming "i am" and woke up on the train to hogwarts, exactly as i'd scripted! i was standing outside the compartment, and all my senses were present in that reality. i could hear the train horn, the sound of the people talking, i could see the interior of the train in front of me, and felt the chugging of the train beneath my feet.

this image is very similar to what i saw during that shift

2. i wanted to shift to my hogwarts legacy dr yesterday night. while falling asleep, i decided that i was going to wake up on the hogwarts express, but was also equally open to waking up in my cr. i didn't mind either outcome. i let go and fell asleep. as i woke up, something felt different. my eyes were closed but i was no longer lying down - i was sitting upright. i was no longer in a still and silent environment - i felt the chugging of the train engine beneath my feet. i quickly realized that i had in fact shifted to my hogwarts legacy dr and was on the train to hogwarts. i shifted back after a minute as i was quite dazed and disoriented, but i shifted nevertheless!

my advice 

don’t try to follow someone else’s steps. do what resonates with YOU, its your journey. 

embrace the process and each step of your shifting journey. demotivation is normal, you’re only human, it won’t stop you from shifting. 

realize that you don’t need anything to shift but yourself. if guided meditations and subliminals work for you, then keep at it! but if you’re not making any progress with them, its time you rely on yourself rather than external aid to shift. the power lies within you, its always been there. 

there's no need to put in effort while doing your method 

simply thinking about your dr and deciding that you want to be there can help you shift

go with the flow, be spontaneous and have fun

stop doing things that aren’t working for you

detach from the outcome of shifting, it will happen eventually, don’t focus on it happening too much

happy shifting! 🩷

[mapoeggplant]

skip to loafer chapter 71 analysis // spoilers

the chase for the perfect motherhood: for many chapters, we had the chance to hear the monster; now, it's finally time for the scientist to share her side.

the play is about to start, but the story has been going on for a while. for a long time, we had the chance to listen to shima and understand his side like never before, and now, it's time to stop and listen to the side of those who made the mistake. it's finally time for the scientist to give her account of the creation of the monster.

it's very difficult for me not to feel empathy for shima's mother in the present, but unfortunately there's no other way out for her than to reap the fruits that she herself planted. which makes me feel even more sorry for her, since i can understand that she was doing her best to do what she thought was right, but unfortunately the truth came out when it was too late.

in my opinion, motherhood is one of the hardest things in the world, especially when you have no support network whatsoever. you have to, all by yourself, raise a human being in the way you understand to be the best, giving them what you believe to be all the best opportunities you can give. but of course, we are all living life for the first time, so making mistakes is almost impossible.

we don't know exactly what yuki's family life was like and everything that really happened until sousuke came into her life. what we do know is that she lived in a completely abusive relationship and that she had a child with a man who doesn't even remember that he is a father. when we look at it from this perspective, we can understand where all the fear and control that she began to place on shima came from.

motherhood, loneliness. a home, a life, a new world in her hands. the fear of losing her child, the fear of making her child suffer, the anxiety of giving him everything she always believed to be good. the glass dome, the external pressure, the fear of others. the need to protect.

the problem is that, at some point, fear and overprotection dissolved into abuse.

it is undeniable that misaki takamatsu has a writing style that shows the characters' pain without turning them into villains. even if we only have one side of the story for many chapters, at some point the other person will have their chance to speak and the reader will be able to gain a little more depth about this character's life. but, of course, the story simulates a human life, so it is to be expected that the reactions and consequences will also be completely human.

i remember writing, in my analysis of chapter 68, that taiga was both a salvation and a tragedy in shima's life. a salvation for having given him the chance to be a child for a while, a tragedy for having been the butterfly effect that would cause all the subsequent events involving shima and ririka's careers (more details in my analysis). now, taiga once again fulfills this role and finally forces shima's mother to face her own flaws by exposing all her mistakes, something that everyone around her did know and gossiped about (which even shima knew about), but never had enough courage (or strength or they simply didn't care) to face her.

having all her actions exposed so coldly in front of yuki doesn't make her angry, but rather makes her finally see all the pain she had been subjecting her son to for so many years. the fog that covered her eyes, which she believed so much was care, finally disappeared, revealing something much more painful.

and she does what many parents can't do, or simply don't want to do, don't think it's right, don't see any point in it: she apologizes to her son and starts seeking treatment. when she says she's going to the hospital, i interpret it as her seeking psychological help to understand where she went wrong and how she can move forward from here. her life has changed, she found someone who makes her feel good and who takes care of sousuke. her son can finally be free to be whoever he wants to be...but what was done is already done.

it's understandable how angry shima feels about his mother and why he's so reluctant to open up and give her a new chance. for years, he didn't have a mother who was there or someone who took care of him the way a mother should. the wound that opened and remained exposed for so many years cannot heal overnight: it takes years and years of trial and error until the pain begins to be more tolerable than agonizing.

shima has been showing a desire to change ever since he took the initiative and invited his mother to go see his play. this is a huge step, which is the result of a lot of struggle on his part to want to change and find his own happiness. shima's growth is very explicit and palpable, being explored in several chapters — but it still needs a lot of work.

the story of the two still needs a lot of forgiveness to start moving forward. yuki also needs to forgive himself, just as shima needs to forgive himself. the struggle to find a healthy relationship between mother and son requires a lot, a lot of work and dedication, which i believe has already started on both of their parts. but, if shima decides, after all, that he doesn’t want to have any relationship with his mother, he’s in the right to do so and it’s his choice to make.

i hope that yuki one day finds the strength to be the mother she always dreamed of being in sousuke's life. i am very happy to know that now there is someone who is willing to help her and who treats her son with immense respect, as a stepfather should be. i'm also happy that she had a new chance with kieri, but sad that she can't change the past. 

now, for sousuke, i hope this play is his way of letting off steam and finally accepting this monster that lives inside him. embracing his past self so that both of them can move forward. taking all the scraps you left behind and analyzing what is still valid to be used in your new life and what needs to finally be left behind.

life is made of successes and mistakes, of scars that we cause to others and that are caused in us. made of wrong choices, badly said words and feelings much greater than we ourselves can control. it is up to us to understand where we went wrong and where other people went wrong with us and to find a new reason to continue. forgiveness is something that is entirely ours and should only be given when we feel safe enough.

ah! before i finish, just a little note: you can see that shima is way more comfortable with keiri now than he was before. i do believe there's a lot of mitsumi's influence there, but we can't deny the fact that keiri fought hard for his big brother's love!! it's clear that he admires sousuke a lot and wants to be closer to him. great to see them being so comfortable around each other.

what a ride, huh?? another chapter that highlight sensei's beautiful writing, that's for sure!! can't wait to see shima acting in the play and being way more open. sensei do love to make the school festival to be a very crazy arc!!!

thank you for reading 💛!! please support sensei if you can!!

see you next month :)

[kingofthewilderwest]

We need to start questioning the conflation of "maturity" with "increased stakes."

It's not to say higher stakes is always a bad choice. The first half of the How to Train Your Dragon book series has an endearingly whimsical, child-like feel. Hiccup's issues in the first half of book one are an obnoxious, cat-sized Toothless pooping in his helmet. The movie adaptation might have made the book and its counterpart distant cousins, but it was a thoughtful move to alter concepts to the appropriately theatrical: books and movies aren't the same medium. Hiccup riding alone on Toothless, exchanging fire blasts with a mountain-sized dragon, and losing his leg came off as well-done storytelling.

Hiccup staring at a prosthetic never happened in the book. He didn't lose his leg in his encounter with the Green Death. It was, as the creative powers behind the movie said, a result of the increased stakes. They didn't do this just to be more dramatic; they did it because it seemed that, based on how their narrative was going, this made sense. And this was a soft, quiet, shocking, breath-taking scene that instilled how good the movie handled its stakes. It gave us a reflective reaction to consequences that audiences might not have expected. This movie understood timing, pauses, quietness, narrative arc, poignance, reflection, emotion, love, and heart.

We know about the conflation of live action as "more mature" than animation. But a medium doesn't change maturity levels. We all know that's bogus, and many analyses have been given on that. Disney live actions add extraneous gunk, down to Gaston having a past relationship with war (so I've heard, from the people who actually watched the movie), and Disney giving us the sad scoop on why Belle's mom isn't around. Furthermore, lots of times, when I see the conversion of animation to live action, I notice creators feel a need to "raise the stakes" -- in line with the erroneous view of "giving maturity."

But "higher stakes" often means inserting action in place of mindful interaction. I feel today's Hollywood movies, in their treatment of "action," don't let movies pause and breathe anymore - ergo, they don't let us think. Isn't it more juvenile to actively avoid thought in favor of "hey look I made the building go boom"? There may be less "stakes" in introspection and mindful dialogue, but that's what gives it its maturity. That's how we went from Iron Man 1, with its grounded treatment of war and abuse, to the mindless high spectacle MCU is today.

Snappy one-liners or moments that clap at contemporary issues don't substitute for maturity. What can make a story mature is characters grappling with issues in a natural narrative through-line. A snappy one-liner is its own form of speedy spectacle.

We know about the conflation of "gore and sex" with "mature audiences." I believe they're right that graphic sex and gore is designed for adults. But that doesn't make it mature, and that doesn't make it the only way to target a medium for adults.

"Realisticness" isn't maturity. Per above regarding animation: realistic visuals are nothing. And if you think that putting more Debbie Downer material into your adaptation makes it more adult, you have to ask yourself why the themes that spoke to people's souls got muddled in its midst. We weren't mature enough to interact with the most subtle, nuanced, and impacting voice of the story. But hey! Look! There's more corpses, I guess!

It's not the visuals, it's not the events. It's not the "things." It's not the basic insertion of the external. Get past the superficial, get past the top layer of presentation. It's the mind. It's the ability to think. It's the ability to be still. It's the ability to be interested and attentive when something is slow or quotidian, because we can understand why that is important for narrative growth or arcs or themes or commentary on the human condition. It's the ability to know when and when not to include something. It's the ability to make resonant impact. It's the ability to be deep with your emotions or your themes. It's the ability to take what you have and grow it in a way by which we can derive something deeper.

Maturity is critical thought and well-conducted, appropriate responses to content of any kind.

As DeBlois tells Empire, the move to live-action brings a different emphasis to How To Train Your Dragon; a new heft, both physically and emotionally. “It’s so dialed-up in terms of stakes — having a fully credible, photo-real dragon stomping around trying to kill him,” the director says.

And maybe that DeBlois quote is taken out of context. Maybe there's more going on than that one sentence conveys. Maybe Empire is making their own erroneous assumptions. But "so dialed-up in terms of stakes," isn't, on its own, a good appeal. The animated movie already dialed things up - and knew when to include or not include something. A live-action that imitates the visuals of the animated movie exactly, as if no independent thought has been done to its unique adaptation, to the pros and cons of the medium, to what a independently-presented story needs and doesn't need... It has to make you wonder: how many conflations of "maturity" are going on?

How long are we going to keep making our own conflations?

[captainjonnitkessler]

I understand if you want to stay out of it but I’m curious as to you’re thoughts on this discourse

https://www.tumblr.com/dappercat123/737173649266737152/your-arguments-sum-to-in-my-perfect-world-there

Anon, I'm going to be entirely honest with you. I have been waiting for an excuse to put my thoughts about this down. Forewarning that this is going to be long and take a dim view of organized religion.

TL;DR: I think everyone in that thread is maliciously misinterpreting evilsoup's point, which is basically that they think Gene Roddenberry was right about what a post-utopian society would look like re: religion. And you can agree or disagree about whether a post-religious utopia is likely or desirable, but to say that anyone who thinks it is is actively calling for and encouraging genocide is a gross misuse of the term (especially coming from at least one person that I'm pretty sure is currently denying an actively ongoing actual fucking genocide).

@evilsoup can correct me if I'm misinterpreting their points, but as far as I see it there are two main points being made:

A) In a perfect utopia with absolutely no source of oppression, marginalization, or disparity, religion would naturally whither away with no outside pressure being applied.

B) This would be a good or at least a neutral thing.

As far as A) goes - a lot of the responses evilsoup got were basically "well *I* would never choose to be nonreligious, so therefore the only way to create that world would be by force, and therefore you are calling for literal genocide". But aside from the fact that evilsoup was very, very clear that they thought this would be a *natural* event and that trying to force people to be nonreligious would be evil - we're not talking about (general) you. You can be as religious as you want but you don't get to make that choice for your grandkids, or your great-great-great grandkids, or your great-great-great-great-great-etc. grandkids. Just because religion is an integral part of your identity doesn't mean it's something you can pass down, and if you're not comfortable with the idea that your kids might choose to leave your religion, you shouldn't have kids.

I personally don't foresee religion disappearing entirely, but it is pretty consistent that as a country becomes happier, healthier, and wealthier, it also becomes less religious. Religiosity is inversely correlated with progressive values. And the more democratic and secular a nation is, the less powerful religious authorities become - In the 1600s blasphemy and atheism were punishable by death* in Massachusetts and today I can call the Pope a cunt to his face** on Twitter with no repercussions whatsoever. Political secularism is an absolute necessity for true democracy and it necessitates removing power from religious authorities, which has and will likely continue to lead to a decline in religiosity - not just a decline in how many people identify as religious, but also a decline in how religious the remaining people are.

*Blasphemy laws and death penalties for blasphemers/apostates are still VERY much a thing in many places. It's hard to see a path where those places become more democratic but don't become more secular and repeal those laws.

**Well, to the face of whoever runs his Twitter account, but the point remains.

I also believe that many religious communities have been held together for so long via coercion - either internal coercion like blasphemy and apostasy laws, shunning, and threats of hell or other supernatural punishment, or external coercion like oppression from the majority religious group or ethnic cleansings. In a perfect utopia, neither form of coercion would exist and I don't think it's crazy to think that religiosity would drop severely and become a much less important part of people's identities, in the way I think the queer community would not exist in a world where queerphobia didn't exist.

ANYWAY, all this is actually kind of moot. It could happen, it could not, nobody is calling for it to be forced so we'll just have to wait and see. The real point of disagreement is on B).

I'm gonna be honest - I think a lot of the responders are rank hypocrites and are really hung up on the idea of cultural purity, which is something I'm wildly uncomfortable with.

First of all, the idea that a deeply-held religious belief could be diluted until it's just a cultural thing that nobody really remembers the origins of isn't some evil mastermind plot evilsoup is trying to concoct, it's just how cultures work. There's tons of stuff about American culture that are vaguely rooted in what were once deeply-held beliefs and are now entertainment. Halloween is rooted in sacred tradition and now it's a day to dress up and get candy. Christmas is one of the most sacred holidays in Christianity but nobody bats an eye if a non-Christian puts up some lights or decorates a tree just because it's fun. I have no doubt that every culture on Earth has traditions that used to be deeply sacred but are now just fun family traditions. People in Japan use Christian symbology as an "exotic, mythical" aesthetic the exact same way people in the West use Eastern symbology. And if you're okay with it happening to Christianity, why wouldn't you be okay with it happening to any other religion in the absence of oppression?

And there's the idea that if a culture fails to get passed down *exactly* as it is now, it's a terrible loss and the result of malicious outside influence. But . . . cultures change over time. No culture is the same now as it was two or five or eight hundred years ago and I don't believe that change is inherently loss. The things that are sacred to you may or may not be sacred to the people of your culture in the future. That's just the way things work, and I don't think it's inherently good or bad.

And finally, people keep accusing evilsoup of "just wanting everyone to assimilate to your culture", but it absolutely does not follow that a lack of religion means a lack of diversity. Different nonreligious cultures are every bit as capable of being diverse as different religious cultures, so it's weird to insist that evilsoup wants there to only be one culture when they never said anything to indicate that.

[starrycloak]

ptsd flashbacks, hyperphantasia and true sight - Max's drawings in 4x05 were too good, actually

cw discussions of ptsd

I was thinking about how, the morning after she escaped Vecna's lair, Max took upon drawing what she saw there. Mostly HOW she drew those pictures:

Separate elements, fragmented individual snapshots (like an officer taking pictures at a crime scene- by the way, check out @threemanoperation's post about other instances of weird puzzle collage-solving-seemingly-without-a-reference here; it was a major inspo for this post). Sure, nobody was expecting her to render a single 360° view of Vecna's mindspace, but her drawings are more than clear enough. This level of detail (the broken, scattered structures, trinkets, Chrissy and Fred's bodies in their current state, mixing the crayon colors available in Holly's box so they'd more closely match what she saw, the different angles) is more than quite accurate for someone who 1) hadn't previously been labelled as skilled in drawing and 2) might have been scared for her life to mindfully focus on her surroundings. I have two main questions, both quite connected to one another, but I'm afraid I won't be able to answer them fully: how and why.

how could max remember so clearly what she saw in vecna's mindscape and externalize her memories with such high fidelity?

some assault/attemped m*rder survivors have very vivid memories of the moment they were attacked -those memories might not even be limited to image and sound, but even smells, textures, etc.

When traumatic memories are retrieved, the physical stress response actually serves to strengthen them, to reinforce the memory in the circuits of the brain. The PTSD response makes these memories stronger and stronger over time. [Survivors] may not remember all of the details, but the things that they do remember remain sharp and consistent.

There's no clear-cut time frame for how long it takes for our brains to initiate and run this process, so I'd not rule out something of the sort might have happened to Max from the moment she came back and the next morning at the Wheelers' (plus she didn't sleep at all and probably saw those images any time she closed her eyes). However, I can't help but consider what I said above about Max's main focus probably being elsewhere in that moment, along with the fact that Max's drawings were beyond beginner (as in, not hobby) level (did you see how many different vanishing points she used for the 'floating' objects???), and a very important detail she mentions herself: her walking into the red mindscape wasn't Vecna trying to scare her per se -he did NOT want her to see that, so he probably didn't want her to remember that place either. Yes, he had seemed kind of... "peacock-y" when it came to the classic "serial k*ller leaves crumbs bc he secretly wants to be found out", but he has to call the shots on who gets to see what, like he eventually did with Nancy. Max managed to "infiltrate" his mind bc he did the same to her first, so would it be far-fetched to think that, if it was only up to him, he'd make sure to block or take away those memories from her to patch what ultimately becomes an exploitable vulnerability for the Party and co?

unless someone else, in a similar position to Vecna -or even higher-, was on the Party's side-

I want to explore two possible explanations as to why max was able to retain such clear images/memories, stemming mainly from @greenfiend and @/kaypeace21's posts about DID theory. One: with Vecna being Will's persecutor alter, escaping his claws might have 'granted' Max an ability that has a similar-ish equivalent on an irl condition that can influence memory processing: hyperphantasia.

Hyperphantasia is the condition of having extremely vivid mental imagery. [It] has been described as being "as vivid as real seeing" [...] Vivid mental imagery as observed in hyperphantasia impacts people's ability for "mental time travel", or the ability to remember past events as well as imagine future events. Hyperphantasics have reported more sensory details of episodic memories and future event constructions.

sadly, it's more of a curse that a boon:

Vivid imagery has been correlated to several mood disorders, particularly anxiety, major depressive disorder, and bipolar disorder, and having hyperphantasia may exacerbate symptoms of such disorders by subserving ruminating thoughts as well as acting as an "emotional amplifier" [...] The vividness of mental imagery has a key role in the development and continuation of intrusive memories, so for those with PTSD, having hyperphantasia is a substantial risk factor.

if this sounds a bit familiar, it's because it's tied to the second possible explanation: Max, being an alter of Will, acquiring/borrowing the host's artistic abilities/motor skills (to a degree*) and a flash of his True Sight so she could help the party navigate that part of the hivemind as if they themselves had been there. or, similar to Billy, she was 'activated' (re: influenced/possessed) to help the party with this particular task.

*at first I thought this detail was too much of a reach, but then I remember how similar Max's and El's -another alter- drawings were in The Piggyback (although El's had bigger heads both times), and how stickmen were either a deliberate choice by Max or just her back to default:

[dcdreamblog]

So, help a guy out. Why are there so many contradictory accounts of the JLA's founding? All the sources I've seen tend to agree it was some sort of alien invasion that provoked it, but whether it was White Martians, Appellaxians, or Apokoliptan parademons is heavily disputed.

Not to mention the discrepancies in who the founders were. Everyone agrees that Flash II, Green Lantern (the Coast City one), and Aquaman were there, but everything else is up for grabs. Most agree on Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman, but all that don't list Black Canary II as a founder instead. And another subset switches the Martian Manhunter for Cyborg, which makes absolutely no sense given the timeframe...

The foundation of the Justice League, as with any really important event in human history. Especially one that comes with a good story attached, has been told, retold and retold AGAIN. Every layman's version of the tale is slightly more exaggerated than the last, with a few details substituted in for the truth because they sound just that much better to the teller or the listener. But let me tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth as best I understand it as someone who wasn't there and wasn't even alive when it happened.

(A famous photograph of the JLA on arrival at their first press conference where the team would be named)

The founding members of the Justice League of America were The Flash, Green Lantern, Aquaman, Martian Manhunter and Black Canary. They were brought together by the invasion of energy beings called Appellaxians who were able to animate inert materials and attempted to overwhelm Earth's defenses in prelude to a full scale invasion. Each of the invaders was at first confronted by one of the heroes by themselves before the most powerful being forced them to come together and pool their powers for the first time.

In the following year they would clash with the mysterious terrorist organization Locust, team up with the then brand new Doom Patrol to fight the Brotherhood of Evil and eventually be the spear point of Earth's resistance against the second round of the Appellaxians' invasion that temporarily saw most of humanity's superheroes at that time captured and imprisoned.

The most common heroes who are erroneously assumed to have been present during the League's foundation are, as you stated:

Superman: Was on hand during the team's inaugural mission but wasn't present when the team assembled to defeat the Appellaxian leader. Was offered membership early on but declined due to fears he could not fully commit to the role. Has been granted retroactive founding status.

Batman: Was also on hand during the inaugural separate mission, helping Superman against an Appellaxian invader but was also not present during the team's first combined mission. Was not offered official membership until later because A. the Gotham City Batman was still in large part considered an urban legends and B. he didn't make himself known to the League for some time. Granted retroactive founder status.

Wonder Woman: Wasn't active in the wider world nor had she made a public debut at the time of the Justice League's first mission though she would appear in time for the second Appellaxian invasion and would join soon thereafter. Granted retroactive founder status.

These three are most often included because they are by far the three most prominent superheroes who weren't members of the JLA at its foundation. If not the three most popular and acclaimed superheroes in the country. It seems like, to the idea of the JLA as this mythical pantheon of Earth's best and brightest that they SHOULD have been there day one. It makes the story cleaner.

But the reality is that, like most superheroes teams the League was assembled without warning due to external circumstances and formed of the heroes who responded in a moment of crisis and agreed to stay together afterwards. This is how 99% of superhero teams are made.

The trio's status as "Retroactive Founders" is also confusing but that title is an honorific given by the team's membership to heroes who make up or have made up the team's "Core Membership" and are considered institutional enough in its philosophical make up to be acknowledged as foundational to the League as we understand it. See also Green Arrow, The Atom, The Elongated Man and Hawkman who also hold this title.

Cyborg: I do not know WHERE this one came from because like you said the timeline doesn't make any sense. Cyborg wasn't an active superhero until YEARS after the League was founded and served a much longer and more proud tenure as a member of the Teen Titans. While he has since "graduated" (not that it works like that) to the League his loyalty has ever since been to the Titans first and foremost.

I really don't get this one. Cyborg is cool and all but he's about a decade younger than the founding Leaguers and would have been in middle school when the League was founded. But who ever let the truth get in the way of good mythmaking.

[nicoleshifting]

persisting in your assumptions

after finally sitting down and reading more of the power of awareness by neville goddard tonight, one section really stood out to me in terms of being related to shifting.

"if you would change your life, you must begin at the very source with your own basic concept of self. outer change, becoming part of organizations, political bodies, religious bodies, is not enough. the cause goes deeper. the essential change must take place in yourself, in your own concept of self. you must assume that you are what you want to be and continue therin, for the reality of your assumption has its being in complete independence of objective fact, and will clothes itself in flesh if you persist in the feeling of the wish fulfilled. when you know that assumptions, if persisted in, harden into facts, then events which seem to be the uninitiated mere accidents will be understood by you to be the logical and inevitable effects of your assumption.

the important thing to bear in mind is that you have infinite free will in choosing your assumptions, but no power to determine conditions and events. you can create nothing, but your assumption determines what portion of creation you will experience."

let me break this down some to how I interpreted this to relate to shifting. to shift, all you essentially have to do is assume the state of the wish fulfilled, i.e. being fully aware of your dr and in your dr body. but since people, including myself, tend to overcomplicate shifting, we get too caught up in external aspects of shifting. for example, perfecting your script, worrying about how the timelines of events will go, waiting for the 'perfect time' to shift, thinking there needs to be some sort of shifting routine. nothing besides yourself is going to help you shift. drinking tea and taking a bath and having a pretty script and making a viral shifttok video is doing nothing to actually further your shifting journey. it's fun to do, don't get me wrong, but at it's core it is not necessarily helping you shift to your dr. (having fun with shifting, however, is always encouraged by me!!)

"you can create nothing, but your assumption determines what portion of creation you will experience." this!! you didn't create your dr, as we know, these places already existed. your assumption and belief that you are already in your dr, that this place exists and events are happening and you are there doing stuff as you read this, and believing that you will shift there. that is what you need to shift. literally just persist and believe that you are there and you will be there. it is inevitable.

your concept of self determines your reality. if you deep down don't think you are capable of shifting, then you probably won't shift. but if you change your self concept, you change your reality. persist. persist. persist. it may take some inner work and time to change your self concept, but once you realize that's what is holding you back, you are truly capable of doing anything. if you're like me, and you have realized you have been deep down resisting shifting since you found about it, maybe do some soul searching as to why... (I know I am).

[everpresence]

stop caring about what others think: the law perspective

hi, everyone! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

i've thought about writing this post for a while, especially since this is a mindset that i am freeing myself from. i know i'm not the only one who grew up in the state of being a people pleaser, so this is for people who were programmed to neglect their own desires and give in to pressure from family, friends, and society.

the other day, my mom noticed that i had a really long gray strand of hair. i didn't believe her at first, but when she pulled it out and showed it to me, i was shocked. it looked like it had been there for months, and i wondered to myself what i did for this to happen.

seth said that your physical body is a reflection of your beliefs, or your dominant dwelling state. if you notice that there is something "wrong" with your body, then you must first look into your thoughts and emotions over the last few weeks, months, etc.

Physical symptoms are communications from the inner self, indications that we are making mental errors of one kind or another. ♡ Seth (channeled by Jane Roberts), The Seth Material

after seeing that gray hair, i knew that it was because of stress. okay, what was i stressed about? i started looking back into what i had dwelt on over the last few months, and i realized that i was stressed out about a lot of things. what stood out, though, was my inner conversations about my family. i was mainly dwelling on what my family thought of me, whether i was worthy of their approval or not, if they were proud of me, etc.

in other words, i cared way too much about how they think and feel about me that it had translated to not only having that long gray strand of hair, it also translated to other physical symptoms (chronic fatigue, chest pain, rashes).

and not only did it translate to those physical symptoms, it also translated to my thoughts, emotions, and the events i was experiencing in the 3D. in other words, everything out here is a reflection of your inner state of being. the cause is always inner.

i found myself feeling more anxious about talking to my parents, wishing that they didn't bring up anything that i really don't want to do. i even avoided them for a certain period of time because of this fear. and since the law is always working 24/7, they ended up bringing it up way more often since i frequently dwelt on what i don't want to hear.

thankfully, though, if i decide to do the opposite (i.e., dwelling on what i want to hear instead), then the 3D has no choice but to outpicture what i choose to experience with my inner senses.

when you consistently dwell on people pleasing, on your fears and doubts about your family, peers, etc., these are all going to be translated into your thoughts, your emotions, your physical body, your experience—everything.

when you care too much about what other people think, when you consent to someone else's limiting beliefs about reality, when you care about external validation, it is only hindering your infinite potential. you are only going to experience such limitations and unhappiness in your reality because you chose to try to fit into someone else's box.

As long as you're in a state of consciousness where you care so much what other people think and what their attitudes will be, you're not going to get very far. ♡ Reverend Ike, "Your Unconscious Fear of Success Affirmation"

i am not saying this as a way to fearmonger, or to blame, or to guilt-trip you. that's not my intention.

i am saying this for you to fully realize the connection between your inner world and your outer world.

nothing is random. nothing is an accident. you are always getting what you concentrated upon, and therefore, you ultimately have the responsibility to choose what reality you want to experience.

you're the only one that can free yourself from these states. no one else can do that for you.

the more you focus on being true to yourself, the more you shift your focus from making other people happy to letting yourself be happy, the more you're going to experience the happiness that comes with the authenticity of your unique being.

yes, it might feel hard to do so at first, but that's because we have made a habit out of wanting to please other people and being rewarded with external validation. it is what we have gotten used to since the beginning of our lives.

however, if you want to be the best version of yourself, you must give up all inner conversations about what other people think of you, that what they think about you matters. stop the arguments in your head. their thoughts and opinions about you have no power over you unless you choose to give it to them. it only matters what you think and feel about yourself.

your inner world is your refuge, where every single reality you desire to experience and is already promised to you exists in this present moment. everything is happening all at once. here, you can experience how it'd feel now that you are free to be yourself, to do whatever you want, to be unconditionally loved and accepted no matter what. you must make this a habit, and the more often you do this, the easier it gets.

I must consciously return to my new state constantly. I must feel its naturalness, like my own bed at night. At first the new state seems unnatural, like wearing a new suit or hat. Although no one knows your suit is new, you are so conscious of it you think everyone is looking at you. You are aware of its fit and its feeling until it becomes comfortable. So it is with your new state. At first you are conscious of its strangeness; but with regular wearing, the new state becomes comfortable, and its naturalness causes you to constantly return to it, thereby making it real. ♡ Neville Goddard, "The Perfect Image"

if you find yourself going back to those old inner conversations, don't beat yourself up over it. don't criticize yourself. it's okay. consciousness is the only reality, but you are also having a human experience. you are on your own journey, and this is completely normal. be gentle with yourself and let those thoughts and emotions pass over, as they are only temporary. then choose to continue to let yourself dwell on who you really want to be within.

to wrap this post up, i have a song recommendation :]

i stumbled upon this song on spotify by paris hilton which features rina sawayama (I LOVE HER BTW RAHHHHHH). perhaps the lyrics will resonate with you guys and allow yourselves to enter the feeling of being your authentic self.

[the-otherspace]

The Fine Line Between Dragon and Bird: How Otherkinity and Otherheartedness Overlap

In September of last year, I had the strangest alterhuman-related experience - and this is coming from the guy who is actually multiple guys in one body and who is also a dragon posing as a human. In a strange turn of online events, my anxiety and even my autism had manifested as a newfound identity I hadn't ever considered before. I found myself taking on an otherhearted identity I didn't even know was possible, because I’d never considered it before. One day I was my usual dragonself and the next day, I ended up a dromaeosaur instead.

I was doing my usual mindless scrolling on Tumblr one day and found a great illustration of a fluffy little dromaeosaur. This was the culprit. It was like any other dino post so I filed it away under the “dinosaur tag” tag on my blog with the other posts featuring birds and other related paleo critters, but something felt a little different this time around. Typically, I relate to dromaeosaurs but don’t typically examine that feeling any deeper. But this little thing felt new. It felt very me. Looking at the little creature caused me to shift in a way that was very much not dragon-like (and if you remember me mentioning it at any point, I'm supposed to be a dragon and nothing else.) Imagine my surprise when it was my feet and hands that actually shifted, matching the wing-like arms and the “beast hipped” (translation: theropod) features that all dromaeosaurs have.

In a panic, I asked Tumblr “Hey, can being -hearted come with shifts?” To my knowledge, heartedness was supposed to be something that happened in the mind (or, for some, in the soul.) That's not to say I assumed mental shifts were involved - I had thought this whole time that having a hearttype didn't come with any kind of shifts. Apparently they can! Apparently there have been many discussions unknown to me regarding the fine line between otherkin and otherhearted. I guess I missed the memo.

I spent an entire week in raptor-hand mode accompanied by an almost animalistic anxiety, like my anxiety knew this was the kind of bird-brained fleet-footed anxiety humans don't tend to experience. I had a heightened fight-or-flight response that was similar to how I feel when surrounded by too many people in a public space, except this felt more feral. I felt vulnerable, but also quick to react, like my animalistic instincts were on overdrive. Even the way I walked felt different, like I had nimble avian feet attached to my human torso. I'm surprised I didn't have a tail shift during this because I always feel my dragon tail during shifts. If I did have a bird tail, it probably would have freaked me out how inflexible the thing was.

Unlike most folks I see in my circle of follows and mutuals, I don't personally experience species dysphoria. But this week of dino-shifting caused a strange kind of identity crisis, because I was suddenly something else. Something less mythical, less furry, and something that didn't even have the external ears I'm so used to having! My dragonself is very mammalian in the way it manifests, with fur and paws to match. But my dinoself was feathered, bipedal, and lacked the wings on my shoulders that I was so fond of. My entire species had changed just because I'd looked at some cute fluffy raptor art. It felt dizzying.

So, that week, I was walking around my house in Super Autism mode - raptor hands and all. It reminded me of how I walked around when I was a kid, hunched over and pretending to be some kind of freaky animal (At the time, it probably would have been a sharp-tooth from The Land Before Time mixed with a dragon and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast to make it extra cool and weird.) I tried to downplay the new dino shifts, making sure my partner didn't see me raptoring out in the kitchen as I made my coffee and scurried back to my office. But at my desk, in the middle of my usual blogging work, I kept at least one hand tucked close to my body as if it were a wing, wrist bent in the most bird-like way that I could without hurting the human parts of me.

This new part of me felt similar to the way I talk about my headmates in parts - the angry part, the nurturing part, the sexually-driven part, the part that’s always the voice of reason. I have this intrinsic draconic part of me that feels in tune with my spirituality and my plurality - it’s the form I take in headspace and it manifests as some kind of “astral” form there. But then there’s this pretty literal down-to-Earth (because of flightlessness) part of me that represents more of my physicality - the awkward body posture, the anxiety, the sharpened mind. I am one part mythical space being and one part Earth bird, but the line between them can sometimes feel blurred. For one thing, both are animals. There is still a certain kind of animality to my dragonself, even though I’m otherkin and not therian. Both are creatures that do not exist in this world (as in, their theriform counterparts don’t exist here) so they both feel almost mystical. Also, I don’t actually think I know how to fly as my dragonself, and dromaeosaurs certainly can’t fly. There’s more similarity between these two selves than I expected.

Once Dino Week was over, the shifts subsided and I found myself back inside my familiar and comfortable dragon identity with all the normal shifts I typically experience. The dinosaur stuff never came back so aggressively, but I gained a stronger (and already pre-existing) appreciation for dromaeosaurs and their kin. I've proudly taken on the label of otherhearted and have accepted that there isn't always a full-on separation between otherkinity and otherheartedness. Sometimes, that line gets blurred and we discover more similarities between ‘types than differences.

[shannonsketches]

Do you think Vegeta was a little flirty towards Bulma?

You mentioned Bulma made the first move. Why do you think that?

And you also said that Vegeta didn’t like giving into those desires, but if that were the case, couldn’t Vegeta easily stop and push her away? I like to think he secretly liked his sexual relationship with her. (and her flirting)

Oh my god what fun questions, thank you

H'okay

In his own way, yes, definitely! I hc Vegeta's become more properly flirty with her as he's become more comfortable with her and her culture, but I think there's probably very little difference between Vegeta being flirty and Vegeta being smug. His earlier arcs displayed that he has a lot of sass with people he knows well, whether he particularly enjoys them or not, and I have no doubt that the more time he spent around Bulma the more of that witty bitchy snark slipped out. The main difference between Bulma and Vegeta's fellow FF Lords is that Bulma likes it, and we know Vegeta knows how to play to his audience. -

While I do maintain that she didn't have any genuine romantic interest in him until well after the breakup, I do think she used to flirt with Vegeta when she was still dating Yamcha, just because she's a brat and found it fun to make him uncomfortable (which definitely freaked out Yamcha, who does not want to die twice, thanks). I like to think that Bulma establishing that as her personality with him, along with her non-performative strong will and consistent demand to be treated with respect, accidentally built up a level of tolerance for that behavior that other people didn't get with Vegeta due to his formal rank and monstrous reputation. He just wrote her off as being Like That, and the lack of actual intent behind her behavior quietly eroded his guard around her, however slowly, over the years. My "main" headcanon of how she crossed the barrier between being playful and being serious is that she got plastered at a party, got mad that Yamcha brought his new girlfriend (which she told him he could, but then got drunk and insecure and had a problem with it anyway, because I believe in women's rights and women's wrongs), wandered off to the same place Vegeta happened to be, and after some one-word answers to super drunk questions decided to press her luck, only to be interrupted by someone coming to look for her because an event at the party was going to start. Vegeta denied the attempt was made and Bulma wrote it off as a weird dream until she was looking at security footage and saw it was not a dream and Vegeta was absolutely going to let her kiss him. -

Yes! And personally I think Bulma did get denied access more than once after the initial hookup, and regularly abandoned shortly after the deed was done. I have an old headcanon that after hooking up in the gravity room Vegeta kicked her out by initializing the gravity when she tries to talk to him about their little habit, and she only had the time it took the engine to boot up before she'd be crushed by the kind of gravity he was training under. I love Vegeta but he didn't evolve out of being a jerk overnight. I enjoy the idea that their relationship started out soft and sweet in very short bursts between bouts of intense passion and deep emotional immaturity. And I absolutely agree that Vegeta liked it a lot, which is the main thing he's mad about. My headcanon/observation is always that Vegeta really never blames his actions on external factors. It's his lapse, his failure, his error in judgement, etc. This includes dipping into a self-indulgent love affair. That's weakness! Saiyans aren't supposed to want soft and squishy and pleasure and lips and embrace, they're supposed to want blood and war and violence and murder and victory. A Saiyan Elite does not crave kisses, that's ridiculous. Slander. Virtriol. Burn the heretic, how dare you. This isn't about her, it's clearly just him getting lazy and bored on this backwater planet, and not being focused enough on his goals(, he lied to himself, definitely not thinking about her cute stupid face). But the proof is in the pudding! Even Freeza's higher ranking officers had trouble making Vegeta compliant, Bulma would've stood no chance if that indulgence wasn't mutual. This is something I think only Bulma was willing to admit, however. One of the many things in the Android saga that is obvious to everyone, but Vegeta still chooses to be childish about. At least until Cell knocks his maturity back into his head. Bulma grew tf up first (probably right around the time she decided to keep the baby) but Vegeta learned how to catch up quick, like he always does. And now their sex life is everyone else's problem, because their sex literally saved the world and that's just that's not an achievement you should ever hand the most egotistical couple you know.

[flapmemelord]

THANK you @onelastskip for that suggestion.............. might be a little late but.... here's why I think ESFP fits Elio to a T (and I can't wait to see how his shortcomings get explored especially in regards to functions...) (it delves with a few hcs, but addresses spring semester and stuff adressed in blank-house asks)

SO !!! ESFP (Se-Fi-Te-Ni) Elio right? Dominant Se makes a lot of sense for Elio. Se is all about getting sensory enjoyment out of life. He likes expressing himself through his physicality (and is good at it), sports in part but not only. He's known for participating in more than a few events thrown by the SGB (to the point of having a nickname because of his infamous way of filling out forms / to the point deja said the wall climbing event was for him). Elio is very open to new situations and quick to say yes if invited, an on-the-whim kind of guy and liking it that way. He can come off as a showoff (cue him destroying everyone in bar holding spring festival game and/or challenging high confidence mcs) superficial ("I didn't know people could argue so much about a prize" / he feels like he has to justify himself and tells Deja he has layers when confronted about his music tastes) or comes off as childish (quick to guilttrip if he likes mc enough, pouts) which are traits Se doms are likely to be labeled as. Misuse of Se might include relying too much on immediate feedback and / or external stimulation for satisfaction, being careless with decisions or relationships (which is what I'm working on for Elilo (Elio/Lorelei)) It can also mean having no focus or defined goals (lack / misuse of Ni) which lead to insecurity (which i could see being explored on the meager chance Elio is the breakup route and he goes back home)

I believe Ni (intuitive connections, reflection on meaning and implications, generating visions of the future...) grip in Elio shows up in how clingy he is, probably as a consequence of some form of paranoia (misuse of Ni) (Bottom stack functions tend to be used as defense mechanisms) (Ni grip might come off as the person acting out of character, in here, him being so suddenly hit by a lack of confidence, and needing to be reassured through that clinginess) The best guess I can do right now is he has issues around emotional permanence, but it's a shot in the dark. Well, at least Ni grip in Se doms can show up as looking for meaning and/or purpose but in the wrong places.

Elio is shown as someone that will avoid confrontation and is described as one who holds grievances. There's failure, I feel, from his part to resolve negative feelings which push him to suppress. It looks like a case of Fi failing him. Despite that he's mostly empathetic, sensitive and displays emotional intelligence (has signs of healthy Fi expression) (he's good at calming down a situation where tension arises, cue mc and percy not getting along - and immediatly vouching for him, or easing down the discussion if mc calls him and percy out for getting distracted in the study room event).

Tertiary Te (imposes order and is about efficient behavior, pushes to make effective decisions based on data) loop is what happens when there's Auxiliary Fi resistance. Because Fi is the need for moral integrity and self acceptance, immature ExFPs can use Te to distance from it. It can show up as burying negative feelings under coarse expressions of power (like Elio did in the breakup!percy comic I made), self-image problems or insecurity (which Elio display). The grievance thing makes me think Elio might show to be quite vindictive which is another sign of Te loop. I personally hc he's the possessive LI, which would align with the fact being territorial / domineering is a common unhealthy tertiary Te trait.

Funnily I think his reading of Reynah can both be read as an expression healthy Fi yet a Te loop tendency. It's both him understanding where people could not like her (getting her flaws, her shortcomings) but it's also him believing critical judgement to be objective. There's the expectation in what he says for Reynah to meet him on his ground (for her to talk) the way Deja does, when that's not necessarily how getting closer to Reynah has to go.

Next I'll make both Percy and Rhys' type analysis since they're both ISTP

[sailingfireshipz]

what would you have done for this season? If you were in the writing room?

Rather than map out an entire season, I'll just add in what I would have done differently with the stories that I think were wasteful or not well executed in my opinion this season.

1. Pascal + Monica, we would have found out about Miami at the conclusion of the Bishop storyline.

1a. Would have made Pascal an ass to begin with but would see him gradually soften & become a part of the house, especially post 13x15. I would make you love his character & be invested in order to set up the storyline for the finale 🙂

2. Stella would have bounced Damon back into the floater pool the moment she found out he lied. I would have rebuilt his trust/relationship with Stella & Kelly from an external pov versus forcing it internally with him at 51.

2a. I didn't hate the Pascal & Stella tension. I hated that they let it fester & continue for so long without resolving it. I would have kept that angst but gradually put them in situations to work together so they can see each other's povs so that by idk 13x05 or 13x06 their dynamic would have been healthier, not perfect but not hostile.

3. Ritter would come to 81. Kylie would go to 51.

3a. Ritter would actually take on a mentorship/big brother role to Kylie as she navigates being under Hermanns leadership versus Stella's. Ritter would show her the ropes for engine. Kylie could even throw some tips his way on how Stella is as leader. This would have been Ritters big arc. Giving him some big wins & saves throughout the season. Seeing him be a mentor for Kylie like Mouch was to him. Seeing him give back & inspire a new firefighter while also showing that he could be the next in line for more if he wanted it. I would have gotten you invested in him & seeing him succeed 😉

4. Hermann & Mouch would have been studying for their tests together. I would have even gotten the house involved with helping them. EVERYONE would have been there when they passed. If they both passed. I would have loved to explore one passing & one failing & how that may have altered their dynamic/plan. Would one get jealous?

5. Carver would NOT have come back from Texas with that woman. I would actually have made Carver connect with a wholesome girl from the aa meetings. We would have seen him confront his demons from his past & put them to bed once & for all. Would have forced Violet to confront her grief from Hawkins because i don't think she ever truly moved past that. Violet didn't need ANOTHER boyfriend. She needed to heal. It would have been a slow burn, but there would be gradual movement towards their reconciliation.

5a. Carver would have been the one to go down in 13x18...Mikarver would be back by 13x19/20 tops...

6. Natalie's arc would have been in 13a. I would have them take her in temporarily until they located her mother or Julia got herself together. This would have been a part of the catalyst for Stella's 13b arc as it relates to her warming up to the idea of motherhood.

7. Stella would actually talk to Kelly about what happened to her in 13x11 & how that plus Natalie have put things into perspective. That confession would lead to a callback to 12x11. Kelly would actually admit that the reason he wanted to start a family is because of the events that transpired. They would have their aha moment then.

8. 13x12 conversation would have highlighted more of Stella's fear around pregnancy/ppd. That conversation needed to be fleshed out more. Would have loved to see Stella talking to Maggie or Hannah about it also from a proactive & educational standpoint. Fears are valid. What we do with them is what defines us.

9. Stellaride actually family planning. Personally, I wouldn't have gone the adoption route because it's repetitive & we also never get to see an actual conversation on intentional family planning on TV. Them discussing the details, timing, how it would impact her career, what her non active duty options could be. Would have LOVED to see her talking to other moms. Gaining their perspective & insight as well as their struggles.

10. Season finale would be more action-packed versus all relationship based. I've been saying for a while i really wanted a villain arsonist to come and terrorize the CFD/city. This story would probably be introduced at the end of 13a or start of 13b & play out over the course of the season with them responding to fires that has the arsonist signature on it. This would also set up a subplot for Kelly, allowing him to scratch his fire cop itch while confronting the ghost of Benny because he'd be frustrated that he couldn't solve it quickly. A play on 7x20-22 arc but deeper. Maybe throw Damon in for the brotherly dynamic as well.

I would have had Stella be sick the episode prior & into the finale episode. Violet would notice & make an off handed comment about if she's pregnant. Stella would go get a test to take & she can't wait, so of course, she does it at the firehouse, but right before she can take it the bells go off & she has to respond to a call.

Everything would come to a head in the finale, with the house (maybe Damon's house also) responding to a massive fire that's actually a trap set by the arsonist. The companies get split up & all of one company is in peril. Preferably 81 because I'd get my Stellaride hospital scene. I'd have everyone from 81 pretty much lives in danger but with a twist.

10a. I would have Pascal & Ritter both get critically wounded with only ONE surviving by the time S14 opens.

Since I spent all season building Ritters' character up, showing him stepping up on truck with leadership qualities & mentoring Kylie. Maybe he gets injured trying to save her or Mouch.

Since Pascal & Kelly made a connection with the Bishop case, maybe he sees Kelly running after the arsonist & goes to help him getting injured (shot?) in the process of trying to protect or save Kelly. Because Pascal can't stomach losing another firefighter like he did when he was in Miami.

So that when the scene cuts to Med, it's complete chaos. Ritter is coding & Pascal is bleeding out. You see nurses & doctors trying to save both of them as 51 looks on completely shaken. Meanwhile, as Stella & Kelly look on holding each other, Hannah walks in, telling her she's pregnant.

The screen would fade to black & the credits would roll.

S14 opens with a funeral service & 51 reeling with their first line of duty death in 5 years.

Idk friends would you watch it? Feel free to tag anyone i missed. What would you add/take away?

@chicagofires @stellariders @shewholovesall @fanaticlizzie @battalionchief25 @princess-olaf @district447 @stellarde @soldier--of-love

[aliusfrater]

also the events of after school special, particularly as it relates to sam's personal concerns with and how he eventually utilises his agencies regarding his experience with bullying + his relationship with mr. wyatt is, i think, a really great example of dean being unable to account for all of sam's personal experiences despite his adamance that he can and should, and that otherwise is a failure on his part, as well as how this is crucial to 1) their differences in personal childhood experiences despite the similarities in setting and 2) how that plays into their conflict of dean being unable to understand sam's motivations as it relates to his desire to leave hunting and what it means for their familial dynamic. dean was unable to be involved beyond his specific capabilities as sam's big brother—offering protection and companionship by being there to talk with sam about it and offer his defense, but when it ultimately comes to sam's final response of standing up for himself and his experience with the succeeding positive social response, dean has his own issues to deal with (his girlfriend breaking up with him, and particularly what she'd said about his character) and literally wasn't able to learn about the rest sam's experiences. "it wasn't all that bad." / "how can you say that after what happened to you?" is particularly interesting considering that dean apparently doesn't know 'all that happened to [sam]', since his connotation here clearly refers and is confined to the negative experience sam had been seen retelling to dean in a flashback and doesn't include the positive that stands out for sam's perspective of his own personal experience (which does, also, seem to include the singular friend he'd made as being significant to his experience there). what dean knows about sam and the role that he played within it being the extent of sam's knowledge about sam's time at this school kind of seems to get lumped into dean's view of that experiences as fundamental to his sammy; he knows sam didn't want to use his available agencies and wanted to be normal but he doesn't have all the context that further proves itself fundamental to the way sam as a person works—his being pushed into eventually standing up for himself and his friend, part of where that confidence in his agencies came from*, and how that experience reflected onto sam.

*dean being unaware of mr. wyatt as a figure and person significant within sam's life (or why) similarly adds to this concept of the extent of what dean knows about sam being what dean himself has the ability to know as sam's older brother, which is exacerbated by the context of sam and mr. wyatt's relationship as being related to sam's personal motivations to have a future that didn't include the lifestyle that hunting generates ie. as hunting exists synonymously with their familial dynamic—the context of sam and mr. wyatt's relationship therefore exists outside of his familial role of the caricatured sammy, the significance of this being the parts of sam that exists purely as dean's little brother (and john's son) like the earlier instance of the limited nature of what dean is able to know about sam's experience with bullying at this particular school. like really and truly dean being unable to grasp the full extent of sam's experiences with hunting as well as external influences to sam's person as they exist beyond him and what he believes to be are his capabilities as sam's big brother (and as a parentified child) are kind of foundational to his misunderstandings of sam as a whole person. this really makes me think of the ending of 4.21 wherein dean really does know habits to a T, enough to be able to stalk him without primary resources but he also entirely misunderstands how sam perceives not only his relationship with ruby, but also their relationship and ends up projecting his feeling of betrayal and abandonment onto sam's relationship with ruby and views sam refusing to give up a whole relationship on his behalf and sam asking dean to trust him and perceive him as an equal as sam choosing ruby over him when really, sam was trying to communicate his independence and autonomy through his agencies.