#messages from your higher self

[jgoddesstarot]

Pick-A-Pile: What Type of Diva Are You? - Messages From Your Higher Self

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🔮Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are based upon my intuitive interpretation of the cards and about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.

🔮How I read: I use a mix of tarot cards, oracle cards, along with my intuitive abilities of claircognizance, clairaudience, and clairsentience.

🔮How this works: Close your eyes and take deep breaths, pick the pile you are most drawn to. If you aren’t drawn to any pile then that’s okay, these messages aren’t for you.

Pile 1

Tarot Cards: 3 of Pentacles, 5 of Cups, 4 of Pentacles, 9 of Swords, The Empress

Oracle Card: Mixed signals yield mixed results. Make sure you are clear about what you are attracting.

Hello, my dazzling Pile 1's! Prepare to be swept away as we unravel the facets of your captivating Diva persona.

Envision a mesmerizing conductor, not always in the spotlight, but the mastermind orchestrating the symphony of collaboration. With grace, you weave the talents of others into a harmonious dance, your leadership a subtle art form. Those around you feel the pull of your magnetic influence, guiding them toward shared triumphs, an unsung anthem of inspiration.

Yet, every diva has her ballads—melodies laced with moments of heartbreak and disappointment. But it's in these silhouettes of sorrow that your true essence emerges. You embrace your vulnerabilities, allowing them to sculpt you into an emblem of resilience, strength, and relentless growth. With every setback, you rise, creating anthems from your scars.

Grounded amidst the whirlwind of life's stage, your self-assured presence radiates a sense of security and unyielding principle. This deep-rooted confidence is your signature; a reminder that a diva knows her worth and gracefully sets her boundaries, unwavering in her convictions.

Behind the glitz and glam, however, lies a diva acquainted with the shadows of anxiety. It's not the presence of these fears that defines you, but the dance you perform with them. You waltz with your worries, turning daunting dreams into magnum opuses of hope and determination.

Amidst it all, you're an embodiment of nurturing abundance. Radiating a warmth that feels like a comforting embrace, your aura is a blend of kindness, allure, and undying love, leaving everyone captivated.

And a golden nugget of wisdom for you: Consistency in your signals will always craft the results you desire. In your captivating diva journey, let clarity in intentions be your guiding star.

To sum it up, dear Pile 1's, you are an intricate tapestry of leadership, resilience, mindfulness, determination, and boundless love. Embrace these colors, let them shine brilliantly, and continue to magnetize the universe's finest towards you."

Pile 2

Tarot Cards: Ace of Cups, 9 of Cups, Knight of Wands, Judgement, The Tower

Oracle Card: The power you seek is within your hands, soul, and mind. Use it and watch what you create!

Ah, my alluring Pile 2's! Your diva essence is an enigma—a tantalizing dance of raw power interwoven with tender vulnerability, a harmonious blend of fiery passion and serene calm. Shall we journey deeper into this maze of your allure?

Firstly, imagine a boundless reservoir of love and empathy. You, dear Pile 2's, are a beacon of this affection. Your spirit envelops everyone with such depth and warmth that it's impossible not to bask in your nurturing embrace. As if this isn't enchanting enough, you also effervesce a contagious positivity, drawing to yourself waves of contentment and gratitude. With every step, you magnetize joy and fulfillment, becoming a beacon of desire fulfilled.

Yet, there's an electric spark to you—a vivacity that's impossible to cage. An adventurer at heart, you blaze trails with zeal, captivating audiences with your dynamic flair. When the spotlight shines, you don't shy away; you seize it, becoming its undeniable star.

But here’s where the plot intensifies. Your diva soul thrives on transformation, constantly shedding layers, evolving like a phoenix. With every twist of fate, you embrace the chaos, knowing it's a prelude to rebirth. While many flee from storms, you dance in the rain, understanding that true brilliance emerges only when tested.

A whisper of wisdom for you: The universe reminds you of the formidable power coursing through your veins, ready to shape destinies. This strength, a blend of your heart, spirit, and intellect, is your magic wand. Wave it, and witness wonders unfold.

To wrap our tale, magnificent Pile 2's, you're a mosaic of profound emotions, boundless zeal, unyielding resilience, and the magic of transformation. You don’t merely face challenges; you evolve through them, emerging brighter, bolder. Wear these facets proudly, and continue to radiate positivity and fulfillment, drawing to you the treasures of life."

Pile 3

Tarot Cards: 7 of Cups (in reverse) Strength, 10 of Pentacles, King of Cups, 8 of Pentacles

Oracle Card: Patience is needed at this time. Stop trying to rush everything. We have everything under control.

Ah, my radiant Pile 3's! As we delve deeper into the ethereal whispers from your Higher Self, prepare to uncover the mesmerizing tapestry of your inner diva.

Envision a dazzling diva with a razor-sharp clarity of purpose. Not one to be entranced by mirages, you navigate the labyrinth of life with a defined vision. Illusions may try to entice, but your discerning eyes are set on the horizon, turning lofty dreams into tangible triumphs.

But what truly defines you is an unmatched reservoir of inner tenacity juxtaposed with tender warmth. Much like a fierce lioness guarding her pride, your heart beats with courage yet knows the gentle rhythm of compassion. With every step, you strike a mesmerizing balance of strength and love, making you a diva of unparalleled substance.

As we journey further, your love for life's opulence emerges, not just its glitter but its gold. While you savor life's luxuries, your feet are firmly rooted in cherished traditions and deep-seated values. Your emotional reservoir overflows with wisdom, allowing you to channel your feelings with prowess, wielding them as tools of empowerment.

In your quest for greatness, it's not just about sparkling on stage. Behind the curtains, your dedication paints a story of unwavering commitment and relentless pursuit. Every bead of sweat, every hour spent perfecting your craft, echoes your belief in the enchantment of diligence and perseverance.

A whisper from the cosmos gently nudges: While ambition fuels your spirit, patience will be your guiding star. For in the vast cosmos of destiny, every star has its moment to shine the brightest.

In essence, spectacular Pile 3's, you are a diva sculpted with clear purpose, heartwarming grace, enduring values, and enduring patience. Through life's marathon, wear your diva crown with pride, savoring each step. The spotlight awaits, and when it shines on you, you'll be nothing short of breathtaking."

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[butchfaith]

this may be kind of niche but if you have ocd and you hear spiritual people talk about unquestioningly trusting your intuition............. ignore that

[theangelsnumbers]

Angel Number 333

A call to rise into your power

When you keep seeing 333, it is not a coincidence It is a message that your soul is ready to grow You are being asked to step into alignment with your purpose

333 carries the energy of expansion It encourages you to express your truth To trust your inner voice To create with courage and heart

This number often appears when the mind, body, and spirit are asking for unity When your guides want you to remember your strength And when it is time to move forward with clarity and confidence

You are fully supported by divine forces You are not alone in your journey You are being reminded of who you really are

If 333 has been following you Take it as a sign to show up for yourself To choose growth To step into the light of your own becoming

[numinously-yours]

Messages from your spirit guides

Thank you all who voted on my poll and let me know what kinds of readings you would be interested in getting. The topic with the most votes was "Messages from my guides" so that is the one we're starting with!

Pick the pile that feels right. If you're not sure which to pick, you can view the full photo, the song that was playing for your reading, and a single sentence on each one to see if those help you feel more called to a pile (some lyrical, some a general sentence).

Like, reblog, or reply to let me know it resonates!

Based on the way that your cards fell out, it feels like you are transforming. It’s been tough lately to see the bright side of situations. It’s felt like you are just getting by, rather than living you’ve been surviving. But, my loves, your guides want you to know that a breakthrough is on its way! You may even be starting to see the rays as the sun starts to rise in an upright position. As you make your way through the clouds, pay attention to the needs of your inner child. There may be opportunities for healing them, and by doing so, you’re going to unleash a part of you that you never knew existed. In addition to the sun’s transformation in your life, the ten of swords is also being transformed. You’ve felt a bit helpless lately. You’ve wondered “what’s the point of getting up?”. But, you know what the point is? As the sun begins to shine on you, you will realize the beauty of the world. You’ll see that even in the times that seem darkest, the sun can still be seen lighting up the world in some capacity. Maybe it’s going to happen in a “click” moment. One day you’ll wake up and see how amazing life is. Or it may begin happening over time. Day by day you’ll start feeling lighter.

Your guides have been sending hints that you are not being given the reciprocation you deserve. Although nine comes before ten numerically, the nine of wands came out after the ten and I think that is actually quite representative of what’s going on. In your ten of wands state, you are carrying so much. You’re carrying the expectations of others. You’re carrying the emotions of others. You’re carrying what you feel is your responsibility to take care of everyone else around you. But when the nine of wands energy comes in, you’ve set down these heavy wands. You’ve created a steady boundary of these wands, rather than a heavy load. Your guides want you to know this is possible. I think that you are picking up on the hints, but are scared of what happens once you set the wands down. What your guides want you to know is that, once you start creating the boundaries for yourself, you’ll really step into the role of creator. Creator of your own happiness. Creator of your future.

Hey threes, this pile might be for me, too haha Our guides want us to remember that the feelings of inadequacy and doubt that we have is just the fear talking. We’re so used to convincing ourselves that we’re not good enough that we forget to see all the cool stuff we’re capable of. We’re inspiring, we’re strong, we’re creative. We are adamant about following our dreams. If you’re like me, you get excited and then you realize HOW excited and start holding back. Our guides want us to trust the excitement! At first, I thought the quote “no regrets, just love” from our pile’s song meant this reading would be about love. It can involve love, but I think it is ultimately our guides telling us to fall in love with the process. Ruminating on our “mistakes” only takes away from our ability to live in the now. I think that some of us are starting to practice. And I know that all of us are at least starting to understand this is something that will require practice and can’t just be done by the snapping of our fingers. Investing in ourselves, especially when it feels uncomfortable, is what is going to produce long term results. Our guides are here to remind us that we’re not only capable of doing this, but that the rewards are going to be soo worth it.

You know that your guides are telling you something, but you are resistant to believing them. Sorry to say it, but they’re not going to stop 😉. They are trying to show you that your new ideas and longing for knowledge are AWESOME. It is a sign that you’re growing. It seems like whenever you have a spurt of energy and inspiration, it’s quickly followed by pessimism and the idea that you’re not capable. So, you stop. Then your guides try to tell you in another way and you’re like “eh, maybe I’m reading the signs wrong.” But you know you’re not. I know how hard it is not to believe in yourself. Especially if you’ve been shown/told all of your life that your ideas are no good, or if the accomplishments you have made, and you were really proud of, get shut down. That wasn’t fair to you, number four. Your guides are here to cheer you on and make sure you feel the least amount of self-doubt as possible. You’ll still have the moments that the doubt comes through, but try your hardest to knock down that wall. You’re hearing your guides on the other side of that wall and they’re just waiting for you to tear it down and celebrate with you – FOR you.

[rainbowhearttribe]

The deeper we go into our shadows and find acceptance, the more light we can hold.

The more light we hold, the more we come face to face with our unconscious.

Video Courtesy: Instagram

[veal-exe]

EDIT

This has gotten a lot of traction so I’m gonna be rude and say that if anyone here has the means, that my spouse and I need help to not be homeless and hungry.

my paypal is Lahoreling@Gmail.com

END EDIT

———

I was discussing the incident mentioned later in this piece with my wife yesterday and I saw another post by someone earlier doing something mentioned in here and I'm finally going to say something about it.

There is a serious problem in leftist spaces, especially online, especially on Tumblr, when it comes to language.

The way people are expected to speak just to even enter these spaces is incredibly complex, to the point of being outright hostile to those who haven’t already spent time in them. And it’s not just newcomers; people who have important things to say, people speaking from lived experiences, people who don’t have English as a first language but still deserve to be heard, are constantly talked down to or even pushed out entirely for not using the "right" words.

This gets even worse when you factor in how often new terms are coined in English, and then people are shamed for not immediately knowing or using them.

I saw someone reblog their own post saying something like, "I know for a fact more than half of y’all didn’t understand a fucking word I said here."

And honestly? That stuck with me, because yeah, I’ve felt that before. Not because I don’t value critical thinking! because I absolutely do! I just made a post on that too! but because so many of these posts are written in a way that makes them Functionally Inaccessible to anyone who doesn’t already have the right background knowledge. And at a certain point, if you actually want your words to have an impact, if you actually want to create meaningful change, then you’re going to have to accept some things:

People will not always use perfect language.

2. People will not always know the exact terminology you personally prefer they use when engaging in discourse.

3. Dismissing or attacking people for how they say something, instead of engaging with what they’re saying, is actively harmful.

And more than that, if you genuinely want people to understand and engage with the things you’re talking about, especially people who don’t speak English as a first language, especially people without access to higher education, especially people who don’t even know where to begin when it comes to self-education (because yes, that is a skill that has to be taught) then you are going to have to be the one to adjust sometimes. You are going to have to let people say things imperfectly. You are going to have to take a step back and engage with the message rather than just the words being used to express it.

One of the experiences that made me realize that I, as a non-native English speaker, was not welcome in Tumblr leftist spaces was when I spoke about real-life oppression I had experienced. I left one word out of my post, a word which honestly, was not even important when talking about an incident that had Happened To Me, not theory, not hypotheticals or any what-ifs of oppression, a story, a story about something that happened to me.

And because of that, people sat in a Discord server, picking apart my words, accusing me of awful things, and then came into my askbox throwing jargon and buzzwords I’d never even heard before, then got mad at me for being frustrated that this was happening.

Think about that. People who are directly impacted by oppression are being pushed out of spaces meant to discuss it because the way they speak doesn’t conform to certain expectations. That is not justice. That is not solidarity. That is not progress.

There is a fundamental disconnect here between theory and praxis. Ironically so many of you do not know what praxis is, because most of you engage with a lot of theory, and not a lot of praxis, you use the word praxis a lot, but, ironically, you have no idea what it means.

{to put my money where my mouth is, it means Doing Something, in the simplest possible terms}

In theory, leftist spaces should be accessible. They should be places where people can speak openly about their experiences, learn from each other, and work toward meaningful change. But in practice? There’s a gatekeeping of language so intense that many people, particularly those who are marginalized in ways beyond just their political beliefs, are outright excluded.

And this is something I need people to sit with: The assumption that the "right" language is easy to learn, or that anyone who doesn’t use it is being willfully ignorant, is an inherently privileged stance. Knowing where to find information, how to process it, and how to integrate new terminology into your vocabulary is a skill that is largely tied to education. Having the time to engage with leftist literature and theory, to stay up-to-date on every new term that gets introduced, is also a privilege. And the fact that so many people refuse to acknowledge this, that they expect perfect articulation from everyone, regardless of background, and punish those who don’t measure up, is a huge problem.

Worse still, the same people who act as gatekeepers of this language often fail to communicate their ideas in a way that is accessible at all.

This doesn’t mean that complex ideas should never be discussed. It doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t strive for accuracy in their language. But it does mean that if your goal is to educate, if your goal is to spread awareness, if your goal is to help people understand and join the movement, if your goal is to engage with fellow oppressed people, then you have a responsibility to meet people where they are. You have a responsibility to make your language understandable.

Because if people can’t even process what you’re saying, then what’s the fucking point?

And before anyone says, "Well, people should put in the effort to learn!" Let me make something very clear: They do.

People who are new to leftist spaces, or who are coming in from different linguistic and cultural backgrounds, are often trying their best to engage. They are listening, they are learning, they are processing. But if the response to every mistake, every slightly off phrasing, every unfamiliarity with a new term, is immediate hostility,

or even if it's just 'hey I see you're sharing a personal moment, but can you change your language to make me, personally, more comfortable with you discussing your oppression?' then you’re not teaching.

You’re just making sure only the people who already think and speak exactly like you get to stay in the room.

Your language, your terminology, your theory? none of it means anything if you can’t make it accessible to the people who actually need it. And it means nothing if you use it to Exclude rather than Include.

[curlicuecal]

playing science telephone

Hi folks. Let's play a fun game today called "unravelling bad science communication back to its source."

Journey with me.

Saw a comment going around on a tumblr thread that "sometimes the life expectancy of autism is cited in the 30s"

That number seemed..... strange. The commenter DID go on to say that that was "situational on people being awful and not… anything autism actually does", but you know what? Still a strange number. I feel compelled to fact check.

Quick Google "autism life expectancy" pulls up quite a few websites bandying around the number 39. Which is ~technically~ within the 30s, but already higher than the tumblr factoid would suggest. But, guess what. This number still sounds strange to me.

Most of the websites presenting this factoid present themselves as official autism resources and organizations (for parents, etc), and most of them vaguely wave towards "studies."

Ex: "Above And Beyond Therapy" has a whole article on "Does Autism Affect Life Expectancy" and states:

The link implies that it will take you to the "research studies" being referenced, but it in fact takes you to another random autism resource group called.... Songbird Care?

And on that website we find the factoid again:

Ooh, look. Now they've added the word "some". The average lifespan for SOME autistic people. Which the next group erased from the fact. The message shifts further.

And we have slightly more information about the study! (Which has also shifted from "studies" to a singular "study"). And we have another link!

Wonderfully, this link actually takes us to the actual peer-reviewed 2020 study being discussed. [x]

And here, just by reading the abstract, we find the most important information of all.

This study followed a cohort of adolescent and adult autistic people across a 20 year time period. Within that time period, 6.4% of the cohort died. Within that 6.4%, the average age of death was 39 years.

So this number is VERY MUCH not the average age of death for autistic people, or even the average age of death for the cohort of autistic people in that study. It is the average age of death IF you died young and within the 20 year period of the study (n=26), and also we don't even know the average starting age of participants without digging into earlier papers, except that it was 10 or older. (If you're curious, the researchers in the study suggested reduced self-sufficiency to be among the biggest risk factors for the early mortality group.)

But the number in the study has been removed from it's context, gradually modified and spread around the web, and modified some more, until it is pretty much a nonsense number that everyone is citing from everyone else.

There ARE two other numbers that pop up semi-frequently:

One cites the life expectancy at 58. I will leave finding the context for that number as an exercise for the audience, since none of the places I saw it gave a direct citation for where they were getting it.

And then, probably the best and most relevant number floating around out there (and the least frequently cited) draws from a 2023 study of over 17,000 UK people with an autism diagnosis, across 30 years. [x] This study estimated life expectancies between 70 and 77 years, varying with sex and presence/absence of a learning disability. (As compared to the UK 80-83 average for the population as a whole.)

This is a set of numbers that makes way more sense and is backed by way better data, but isn't quite as snappy a soundbite to pass around the internet. I'm gonna pass it around anyway, because I feel bad about how many scared internet people I stumbled across while doing this search.

People on quora like "I'm autistic, can I live past 38"-- honey, YES. omg.

---

tl;dr, when someone gives you a number out of context, consider that the context is probably important

also, make an amateur fact checker's life easier and CITE YOUR SOURCES

[servantofthefates]

Strict Tarot Rules My Grandma Taught Me

Sweep the floor with a whisk broom before every reading. It shows respect for the old gods who will be coming in.

Answer only three questions for a querent in one seating. Revealing too much sacred information will dilute its meaning.

Always use the Celtic Cross for a personal reading. “You cannot truly appreciate the weight of the advice you are giving if you don’t fully understand the way the querent is feeling.”

Make an offering to the querent’s higher self before proceeding. “The body may want a reading, but the soul may be unwilling.” A piece of chocolate or anything sweet should be appropriate.

Ensure the querent’s hands are clean. Prepare a hot towel or a water basin. It rids their body of negative energy and keeps your cards from getting dirty.

Dim the lights before you deal the cards. “The Fates live next to Hades. They are not used to harsh lighting.”

Play soft and quiet music. It calms the mind and encourages the querent to bravely tell you what they really seek.

You shuffle, they cut. Shuffling lets the cards connect you to the source. Cutting allows the cards to feel the querent’s life force.

Honesty is better than sympathy. Exaggerating hopes and softening harsh truths do more harm than good.

Never forget to thank your cards afterwards. “The messages come from the goddesses, yes. But your cards make the effort to speak them in the way you can understand best.”

[on-the-clear-blue]

So yall know that the League of Assassin's are like, an eco terrorist thing right? Well I just had this idea.

Sam, coming into Danny's room and just face planting on his bed: Ugh...

Danny, who was sleeping, awoken as his friend who had gone missing 6 moths ago flopped onto of him: OH SWEET-NOCTURN IF THIS ISNT REAL I AM GONING TO SOUP YOY SO HARD...

Sam, reaching up and slapping her hand on his mouth:Shhh, less screaming, more sleeping, escaping murder cults takes more energy than I thought.

Sam produces to pass out and sleep for three days straight.

---

Tucker, lookingnup from his PDA: so...you joined what you thought was a peaceful protest and some how ended up in a eco terrorist death cult of assassins? I mean...shit now I have to do something interesting...

Danny, choking on his drink: Nuh uh, your the normal one Tuck, I died and now have a magical girl transformation and Sam got kidnapped by ninjas and somehow even more bad ass, you...you can still get out of this and just be a normal person.

Sam, nodding sadly: Yeah...don't conform to our standards Tucker, be your true, weak little boney self.

Tucker, sniffing:I am so going to not do that.

---

Just the idea that Sam not only got League training but also got out is hilarious to me, like yeah, that is the kinda bs that would happen.

Alsoni can just see her dropping random lore shit.

Sam, bored as the boys study: Did you know thst the Demon Head dunks himself in corrupted ecto? Yeah it's gnarly man, didn't taste good.

Danny, going to speak before pausing and thinking, before sighing:Yeah I would have licked it too.

Tucker, frowning as he finishes his "Evil invention-enator": You both have so many issues.

---

Sam, trying to teach Danny the basic league hand to hand:Come on dude! It's not that hard!

Danny, falling flat on his ass after not even touching Sam: Ow ow ow...fuck yeah it kinda is!

Sam, rolling her eyes: If not only the Demon Heads six year old grandson can learn but also Ellie? You can too.

Danny, mutterinf under his breath before pausing completely:ELLIE? What was she doing with a murder cult? I thought she learnt her lesson after the last one!

Sam, shrugging before putting kicking at Danny on the floor: I don't know she was following a guy around who was catatonic, said something about being angry at him for not answering her pen pal messages or whatever, I was more busy training to really care...like you should be doing!

---

Years later Sam is joining Danny and Tucker in Gotham, Tucker because he was scouted by both WE and Lexcorp, he wanted to choose the evil company because poorer work place regulations and the likely hood of him getting a powerbost was much higher, but was bullied by his friends/partners into choosing WE.

Sam, coming to the R&D labs late one night bringing Tucker dinner so he doesn't starve working a late shift, blinking as she sees a short boy sneaking out of the lab: Biraeam? (Sprout in Arabic) what are you doing here.

Damian, blinking right back, experimental tech Bruce has yet to clear for the field clutched under one arm and the blueprints for a new type of explosive batarang in the other: Manson...I-I could ask you the same.

Sam, raising an eyebrow and staring down Damian: bringing dinner to my husband...who works here...and I can only think that you do not. So I ask that you put those things you have down and tell your bastard of a grandfather not to step back in this place.

Damian, eyes squinting, he hadn't been around his grandfather for ages at this point but still felt offended at her tone: I don't think I will.

---

An epic fight produces where they both try not and spill/destroy the things that they are carrying until either Tucker or Tim find them and explain everything.

The everlasting Trio gets invited over for dinner (mostly because Bruce is a paranoid bastard and dislikes thst one of his employees is dateing/ is partners with an ex-LoA member) and it's a bit of just pointing at each other and shit

Sam, slamming her hands down on the table as she stands: Kindly Mr Wanye, Shut the fuck up, I know your batman, we all fucking know it so if you are going to try and interrogate us at least do it properly!

Danny, sipping his wine: I mean...I-I didn't know but I um...haven't been paying much attention to the bat dude...Rag man is cooler.

Sam, glaring:And you! Fucking Ragman? You can do so much better.

Danny, offended for his hero: Oi! He does good work!

Bruce, frowning as this night has gotten away from him: He kills people.

Sam, waving over at Bruce: Exactly!

Danny, rolling his eyes: Exactly she says, while having a kill count that's still growing, Exactly she says when she was the one that pushed that oil tycoon off the 50th floor.

Sam wincing,: Maybe not in front of batman babe?

Danny, looking over to Bruce that is looking ready to fight: Shit...imma call Tuck and tell him to start packing...

[girlgenius1111]

learning curve

alexia putellas x reader [& r's nephew] r gets custody of her 5 year old nephew when her brother gets into trouble. alexia insists on sticking around even though r gives her an out. it's a new and entirely stressful situation for r, but alexia makes it a bit easier. fluff, angst, etc. this is a kidfic.

—

How was it possible? That the most ordinary of days could be just one phone call away from shattering life as you knew it. 

You should have known, really. Should have seen it coming. You were happy for the first time in a while. Happy in your career, in your relationship. Of course something would come along to change everything. 

It was a pleasant day off, the day you got the call. A slow morning where Alexia woke up way before you, but didn’t get up. Instead, she let you sleep in her arms, completely content to just… be there with you. You’d made breakfast together, Alexia’s voice raspy from lack of use, pressing kisses to your shoulders, your face, your neck, as if she couldn’t help it. It was purely and entirely happy. 

Your phone rang just after breakfast. It was an unknown number and you never answered unknown numbers but something about the call made your stomach drop. You clicked the answer button and gave Alexia an apologetic smile, walking out of the room. 

“Hello?” You greeted, tapping your foot impatiently when no one said anything right away. Alexia had put on her favorite show, and as much as you pretended to despise the soap, you were hooked. 

The robotic, pre-recorded message that began startled you.

“This call is from a person currently incarcerated in prison. All calls are logged and recorded and may be listened to by a member of prison staff. If you do not wish to accept this call, please hang up now.” 

It wasn’t shocking, not really. You’d gotten calls like this before, but not for a few years. He used to call a lot, when he first started getting into trouble, asking for money for a lawyer. At the time, you hadn’t had any to give him. Eventually those specific calls stopped. You still heard from him, but not through a call being recorded by a prison. 

He hadn’t been arrested in 5 years. And now… the stakes were much higher. 

“Hello?” The deep voice of your brother came over the line, sounding utterly defeated. 

“Leo.” You sighed. “What happened?” 

“I fucked up. I… Will wanted to start football. But I couldn’t… I couldn’t pay for boots for him. I just wanted to get him something nice.” Leo choked out. You could hear the emotion in his voice, and ignored the pang in your chest as you pictured the little boy just two years older than you, lip trembling as he promised he’d take care of everything. 

“Leo, why didn’t you call me? And ask for help?” 

“I didn’t want to bother you. You’re busy and I should be able to provide for my son. I shouldn’t have to ask my little sister for help, I should have it figured out.” 

“So… this is better? Getting arrested for petty theft and then calling me for help?” You asked sarcastically, though you understood him more than you’d admit. The need to be independent, completely self sufficient. The sinking feeling you’d get when you had to ask for help with something… you still felt that, too.

Your brother was quiet for a moment. Long enough that dread started to build up inside of you again. 

“It’s not petty theft.” He said finally. “It’s grand theft. And accessory to assault. The guy I was working with went a bit rogue.” 

“Jesus.” You sighed. “How long?” 

Another long silence. 

“How long, Leo?”

“10-15 years.” 

You could practically see the tears falling from his eyes in your head, and you knew just by his tone he wasn’t calling for money. Not this time. You could see Alexia out of the corner of your eye, hovering in the doorway uncertainly. 

“I… I signed the papers, to give you custody of Will. To make it easier to take him back to Spain with you. He’d be yours, and I know it’s a lot to ask, and if I had any other option, I would, but the only other option is putting him in the system, and I don’t want that for him. I don’t. I’m so sorry to ask this of you, really I–”

“It’s okay.” You breathed. “It’s alright. Of course, I’ll take him. Of course I will.”

Alexia moved closer, resting a hand on your shoulder once she noticed the tears in your eyes. You let her anchor you, suddenly very sure that this was it with her. Today had been the last nice day you’d have with her, and you hadn’t even known it. 

 But there wasn’t a question of whether you’d do it or not. 

“Are you sure? With your career and–”

“I can make it work.” You said. “I’ll make it work.” 

“Okay.” Leo replied, sounding overwhelmingly relieved. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wish I–” 

“I’ll be there as soon as I can to get him.” You cut in, unwilling to hear another apology. It wouldn’t fix anything.

 Leo gave you the name of the woman to call, before saying goodbye and hanging up. Even after the call ended, you remained frozen, thinking through all the details, all the things you needed to do, unsure where to start. 

“Amor?” 

Right. That’s where you had to start. 

You turned to Alexia, your face completely impassive. It was the face you made when the team lost and you were upset, or when you got hurt and didn’t want to cry. It was you running from vulnerability, and it had been a long time since Alexia had seen you make it towards her. She’d thought you were past this. 

“My brother was arrested. I’m getting custody of his son. Will. He’s 5. I’m going to bring him back to Spain with me.” You spoke robotically, eyes fixed on a point on the wall just beyond Alexia’s shoulder. 

“Oh… oh wow.” Alexia breathed, nodding her head slowly as she took the information in. 

“It’s a good thing I didn’t get rid of my old apartment. I’ll move my stuff when I get back, you don’t need to worry about any of it. I’ll move back in there and–”

“Why would you do that?” Alexia interrupted, her face twisted with confusion. You looked at her for a moment, her brown roots growing out and the oversized t-shirt she had on. It was soft, your favorite for her to wear because you loved the way the fabric felt on your skin when she held you. 

God this was hard.  

“I… I won’t do this to you, Ale. I won’t. You don’t need this, but I have to–”

“No. Stop. We are not breaking up, and you are not moving out.” 

You turned away from her when you saw the tears in her eyes, clenching your fists tightly and taking a few slow deep breaths. She was making this so hard, but you should have known she would. 

“Alexia,” you began, your voice abruptly cutting off when the midfielder gently grabbed you by the shoulders and turned back towards her. 

“No. No.” She repeated, shaking her head over and over. “Do you love me?” 

You exhaled sharply, desperately wanting to wipe the tear off her cheek. To cradle her face in your hands, and kiss her frown away. You should lie, that would be the best choice. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. 

“I do, Ale. I love you so much. That’s why–”

“Then that’s it. You love me and I love you and people who love each other do not break up.” Alexia said firmly, her lip trembling even as she bit it to make it stop. 

“Alexia, please. It’s okay. You don’t have to do this with me, I could never ask you to.” 

“You are not asking. I am telling you. I am not going anywhere, and neither are you. You bring Will here and we’ll figure it out together. Together, amor.” 

She moved closer, her hands cradling your cheeks, wiping your tears away just as you’d wanted to do with hers. Somehow, she was convincing you. Like she always did. Whenever it felt too unbelievable that she loved you, whenever you became absolutely convinced that you’d tricked her or something, and tried to leave for her. She always convinced you to stay, because she knew you never really wanted to leave her. 

“It’s gonna be a lot.” You murmured, your hands finding their way to her waist, your body giving in before your brain did. “It’s gonna be really hard, especially with work.” 

“We can do it. Together.” Alexia promised, leaning forward to dust a kiss across the tip of your nose. “I love you. I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to do it together, okay? Don’t push me out. Please.” 

“Okay.” You allowed, finally giving in and leaning into her. She wrapped her arms around your body, squeezing so tight it almost hurt. 

“Promise me? No pushing me away.” She whispered into your ear. 

“I promise.” You breathed the words back, knowing, somehow, that you wouldn’t break this promise. Never before had you gone back on something you’d promised Alexia, and you didn’t intend to start now. 

—

The plane ride had been long, and though you were already exhausted, you hadn’t slept a wink. You were wide awake when the plane took off, and wide awake when it landed hours later. Some sleep would have really done you some good, but there was nothing to do about that now. 

It was really an amalgamation of all of your least favorite things. The social services office was just as bad as you remembered it. Just as… lonely, regardless of how incredibly crowded it was. It was overly beige, from the walls down to the outfit the woman sitting across from you was wearing. Susan. Even her name sounded beige. Then, there was the paperwork. An endless pile of it on the desk in front of you. Your hand was starting to cramp from signing, and all you wanted was to see Will. Physically see him, make sure he was okay. He was somewhere in this building, surrounded by strangers. It was impossible not to picture him, all small and scared in an office, wondering if you were really coming for him. 

You remembered that feeling. No one had ever come for you and Leo. 

But you were here for Will. You were here for him, and it didn’t matter too much that he barely knew you; at least, that's what you told yourself. 

You were his aunt that lived far away in Spain, that sent at least three presents for his birthday every year, and three more for Christmas. You talked to him on the phone every so often, and Leo liked to send a picture of Will wearing your kit every few months. He liked dinosaurs and crafts, and he adored your brother. Will’s mom had never been in the picture; you’d never met her, never even gotten Leo to tell you her name. It was just the two of them, and you knew it was hard. You didn’t know it was this hard for your brother, though. You’d have stepped in much sooner if you’d known. 

Signing the last piece of paper, you inhaled deeply and slid it back across the desk towards Susan. 

“Okay! That’s everything in order. It would be a lot more complicated if your brother hadn’t signed over his rights. Great foresight of him, to have the paperwork all ready!”

Yeah. Great foresight. Leo clearly possessed that. 

“I’ll go get Will! Like I said before, he’s been having a tough time, but the minute he arrived here he asked for you, telling us he was supposed to make sure that his Aunt came for him if anything ever happened to his Dad. I think he’ll settle once he finally sees you.” 

Susan smiled kindly, stepping away from the desk and briskly walking down the hall. 

The words settled something in you that worried Will wouldn’t want to go with you, while at the same time, making you so incredibly frustrated. Leo could make sure to prepare Will for this exact situation to occur, yet he couldn’t avoid committing felonies? 

Before you could think too hard about what to say or do, there he was. Walking slowly down the hall next to Susan, a blue dinosaur clutched tightly to his chest. His brown hair fell messily around his head, in a way that reminded you of your brother. He was small, wearing a sweatshirt and shorts and a pair of velcro shoes. Small and scared, his face creased with anxiety and fear, even as he approached you. 

“Here she is!” Susan said encouragingly, gently nudging Will closer when he came to a stop just in front of you. He was gazing up at you with wide, unsure eyes, and you could see tear tracks on his cheeks, his eyes red and puffy. He was so small. 

It was instinctual, something you didn’t even know you possessed that had you kneeling down and opening your arms. Will’s forehead un-creased just slightly, and he rushed forward, wrapping his arms tight around your neck. 

“Hey, buddy. Everything’s okay now. I’ve got you.” You whispered, holding tightly to the little boy that was clinging onto you as if you were the last stable thing in the world. And you supposed you were; in his world at least. 

Will exhaled shakily. For the first time in two whole days, he felt just a tiny bit safe. He didn’t know you well, granted, but his Daddy had always told him that if there was an emergency, to make sure to call you. He’d taught Will how to click your contact and call. Will hadn’t been sure you’d come. You lived far away, and he barely ever saw you. The two of you were strangers practically. But Leo had always told Will that you’d come for him if he needed you. And Leo had never broken a promise to Will before… Well not until the other day, he’d waited in the office at school for a whole hour after the bell rang. When someone came for him, it wasn’t his Dad. It was a police officer with a mustache and a mean face, and all Will could do was cry, and make sure that the police officer knew he had to call you. And though the details Will had been given were few, he knew his Dad had been bad and he was in trouble. Big trouble. The police officer had sounded all angry and stern when he’d told Will this, softening only slightly when Will asked when he’d get to see his Dad again.

The police officer hadn’t answered, instead telling Will that he was being taken to the social services office, where he’d wait to figure out what the next steps were. 

Will had waited for you, and even though the nice lady had told him you were coming, it took a while. More than one day, but he couldn’t quite remember. It felt like forever. 

But now you were here, and you’d given him a hug that felt like the hugs his Dad gave him, and he didn’t feel like he had to try to be brave anymore. Your arms didn’t loosen around him even as you stood up, and Will let himself relax. Just for a moment. 

—

“We going to Spain?” Will wondered, gripping two of your fingers when you held out your hand towards him. He trotted along next to you as you headed from the social services building down the block to your hotel. 

“Yeah. Barcelona.” You affirmed. Luckily, Will had been able to talk to Leo on the phone, and Leo told him what the plan was. 

“Bar-sa-lonuh? Or Spain?” 

“Barcelona is a city in Spain.” You clarified. “We’ll go there on a plane tomorrow morning.” 

“Is it a big plane?” 

“It’s a pretty big plane. Have you ever been on a plane before?” 

Will shook his head, brown curls blowing backwards slightly in the wind.

“It’ll be fun. We’ll get snacks and… pick out a few movies to watch. And you can sleep if you want to.” 

“Snacks and movies?” Will repeated. 

“Yes! Does that sound fun?” You tried to sound excited even though there wasn’t really anything you were dreading more than the long flight with a five year old. 

Will just shrugged, his hand tightening around your fingers. You shifted the strap of his big duffel bag so it was further up on your shoulder, stopping just outside the hotel and bending down so you were eye level with him. 

“I know it’s a lot of change, Will. And I know you don’t know me very well but–” 

“My Daddy said you’re nice. And that you’ll take good care of me.” Will whispered, tearing up as he remembered the phone call he’d gotten to have with his father this morning. Leo had called you right after, himself trying to hold it together as he explained he told Will that you were coming for him. 

“I’m going to do my very best to take good care of you. We’re gonna figure it out together, alright?” 

Will nodded slowly, taking a deep breath and rubbing at his eye with his fist. “Alright.” 

You figured that was the best you’d get, for now. 

—

“Tia?” Will whispered. You turned, finding him all tucked into one of the double beds, the covers pulled up to his chin. He was so small, the dinosaur pajamas he’d pulled out of his duffel bag a bit too big on him. ‘Dad said I’d grow into them if I ate my vegetables’, Will had said. Your brother was many things, and a good father was one of them. He was giving you a huge responsibility and huge shoes to fill. 

Refocusing on Will and not how much he looked like your brother, you smiled, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“What’s up, buddy?” You asked, hesitating for a moment before reaching and out brushing one of his curls away from his face. His whole body relaxed at the motion, and he looked a bit more confident as he opened his mouth to speak again. 

“Do we have to go to Spain? We… we can’t stay here?” 

Your heart twisted in your chest. You thought of your brother's words on the phone the past few days. He’d repeated it a few times, as if knowing the doubt you’d carry. 

You can’t leave Spain. You have a career and a life there. Will speaks a bit of Spanish, and he’ll adjust. He needs to be with you, and you need to be where you’re going to be happy. That will be the best thing for him.

Leo spoke with a wisdom in his voice that used to infuriate you, but you’d decided to trust the big brother voice, this time. Because he was Will’s dad, and he knew what Will needed. 

“We have to go to Spain.” You confirmed. Will frowned, an unhappy look on his face that tore at your emotions. “I know, it’s going to be an adjustment. But your Dad told me to take you there, and he always knows best, right?” 

Will looked conflicted. “I like it here.”

“I know, I know you do.” You paused, thinking once again back to your brother's advice. 

Talk to him like he’s a person, not a baby. He’s a smart kid, he’ll understand. 

“I play football in Spain. It’s my job there, so that’s where we have to be for now. But you’ll like it, I promise. It’s warm and sunny and it has really good food. Alexia is there, and I know you’ll love her, and she’s so excited to meet you in person.” 

Thankfully, Will had met Alexia over facetime before, and knew that you were together. You didn’t have to introduce the idea to him, as he’d somehow already seemed to know it wouldn’t just be the two of you when you arrived in Spain. 

Will looked doubtful, and you could see the anxiety clearly written across his face. His features were so like Leo’s, and it was the same face your brother always had when he was nervous about something. The same face you had when you were nervous about something. 

“Why don’t you ask me questions about Spain? And I’ll answer them, and then you’ll know more before we get there.” 

Will was a talker, that much you knew. And so the questions began, about the food in Spain, about school in Spain, about the team you played for, and whether there were dinosaur toys there. Question after question, until you laid down on the bed next to him, eyes barely open. 

“Do you live in a house in Spain?” Will asked, his energy still in full force as he asked what felt like the 500th question of the evening. 

“An apartment, but you’ll have your own room.” 

“And Alexia lives there?” 

You nodded groggily. 

“Does she speak Spanish?” 

“She does, but she also speaks English.” 

Will hummed. “My Dad was teaching me some Spanish for when we met Alexia. He said your tia taught you both Spanish and that's why I call you tia because that’s Spanish for aunt.” 

At this, you cracked a smile, forcing your eyes open as you nodded. “That’s true. We lived with our tia for a while and she taught us Spanish.” 

“Is it hard to learn? I’m not very good.” Will wondered, his questions seemingly endless. 

“Mmm, not hard. You’ll pick it up quickly, especially at school and with Alexia helping you with it.” 

“Is she nice?” 

“She’s very nice.” You promised, eyes flying open when you realized you had a text from Alexia you hadn’t yet read or responded to. Will yawned hugely as you pulled your phone out of your sweatshirt pocket, and you smiled down at him again. 

“Go to sleep, buddy. I can answer more questions tomorrow.” 

With a small grunt of agreement and another yawn, he rolled over. Right into you, his head resting against your arm. It was indescribable, the soft feeling that filled your heart. Soft adoration, even as you stilled the left side of your body completely so as not to disturb him. 

You didn’t know much about kids, but it seemed you knew enough. For now. 

Finally, you opened Alexia’s text, tears pooling in your eyes as you read her words. 

Amor! I hope everything is going well. You’re doing great already, I am sure of it. I stopped at the store and got a few things for Will. You said he likes dinosaurs, sí?I love you, I’ll see you tomorrow. I can’t wait to hug you. 

God, you couldn’t wait to see her. It wasn’t very odd for the two of you to spend a night apart, but something about this felt different. You missed her deeply, fully, needed her to hold you and promise everything was going to be okay. The anxiety of how this whole new life would work was almost overshadowed by your excitement to see her again. 

Almost. 

—

Will was a pretty well behaved kid, you’d learned. Very sleepy when he woke up in the morning, but he snapped right out of it when you asked him what he wanted to download to watch on the plane. He very eagerly selected three disney movies, and you realized with a pang to your chest that all three were movies you and your brother had grown up on. 

All three were Leo’s favorites, if you remembered right. 

And now they were Will’s. 

Not being the biggest fan of crowds, the airport clearly made your nephew nervous. He fidgeted his little hands together, walking so close to you that he ran into you every time you stopped. His hand would dart out to grab onto the hem of your t-shirt whenever anyone got too close to him, and he almost cried when the security agent made him walk through the metal detector by himself. 

You figured this made sense, that after his whole world had been turned upside down, of course he’d attached himself onto the most stable thing he could find. That happened to be you. It was just… odd. Something you weren’t used to. The checklist you’d made on your phone helped, reminding you to ask Will if he had to go to the bathroom, if he was hungry or thirsty, if he had any more questions about the plane. It was more than terrifying, honestly, that you were suddenly fully responsible for this small boy. 

There was stress, of course. But there was also something so… incredibly different in the way Will pressed his face to the glass of the plane window, staring wide eyed as the plane took off. For every moment you worried you were messing up, even in the first 24 hours, there were 10 moments where Will rested his head against your shoulder or reached for your hand, or offered you one of his animal crackers with a smile that had you convinced that for your nephew, maybe you could do this. 

—

“I can walk, Tia.” Will mumbled, squirming slightly in your arms. 

You chuckled, rubbing his back softly. “It’s okay, buddy, it’s crowded and I know that makes you nervous.”  

You’d picked him up a moment ago, after noticing how terrified he looked at the massive crowds making their way through the airport. It was a struggle to wrangle both of your bags in one hand, while holding Will in the other, but you didn’t want him to be uncomfortable. You took two steps towards the exit before you had to stop and readjust, wishing you had another pair of hands here to help. 

Alexia had texted that she was there, and though you’d assumed that meant she was outside in her car, your eyes met hers across the bustling baggage claim before you had to take another step. 

Your whole body practically sagged with relief, your bags falling to the ground where you stood as Alexia made her way over to you both, a concerned and sympathetic smile on her face. 

“Mi amor,” she greeted, softly kissing your temple and pulling you into as much of a hug as she could manage with Will still in your arms. 

“Hi.” You choked out, almost in tears at the sight of her. Here, in front of you, at the perfect time. With a smile on her face, already reaching for your bags. 

“Hi, Will.” She said gently. 

Will peaked out from where his face had become hidden in your neck, relaxing a bit when he saw the semi familiar face. 

“Hi.” He whispered back, turning his face back in towards you and shutting his eyes. 

“He’s tired.” You explained, but Alexia just waved you off, beginning to lead you from the airport to the parking garage. It was much easier now that you only had to worry about carrying Will, who was quickly becoming dead weight in your arms as he drifted off. 

“Of course he is, it has been a long few days. I bet you’re exhausted too. We can go home and go right to sleep, sí? We can worry about anything else tomorrow.” 

You nodded your agreement, not even wanting to contemplate the state of your to do list at the moment, though it was getting harder and harder to ignore. 

As you arrived at the car, you shouldn’t have been surprised by the car seat perfectly installed in the back of Alexia’s car. You’d mentioned needing one to her, but for some reason… you half expected her to forget. Or get the wrong one. You weren’t sure why, but it was just something that you thought you’d have to do. 

Yet when you opened the door to the back seat, it was all done for you. The perfect size for Will, buckled in correctly and everything. You carefully deposited him in the seat and buckled him in, before turning to Alexia, once again with tears in your eyes. 

“Thank you for getting that.” You mumbled, shutting the car door as quietly as you could. 

“Of course.” Alexia said easily, her lips curving into a smile as she opened her arms for you. You practically collapsed into them, gripping tight to your girlfriend as she did the same to you. 

“I missed you so much.” You cried. 

“I missed you too, mi amor. You have no idea.” Alexia whispered back, her hand threading through your hair as she just held you for a moment. Eventually she leaned down to press her lips to yours. You kissed her back, taking in the feel of her hands as they cupped your jaw, her fading blonde hair tickling the side of your face. 

When you pulled back from the kiss, she was still gazing at you so lovingly it made your heart burst. 

“Let’s get you both home.” She suggested, and you nodded your agreement, needing nothing more than to be home in that moment. 

—

The relief you felt when you finally stepped back into your apartment wasn’t complete relief. Because you were home, but everything was different. There was a whole other person that had to fit into your life now, and you didn’t even know where to begin carving out a space for him. There was figuring out a school that could accommodate a five year old that spoke very little Spanish. Then there was finding childcare for when training didn’t perfectly align with school, or when the team was traveling. Would you bring Will with for away games? 

The issues you needed to address were seemingly endless, but most urgently was that the extra bedroom was not fit for a child. It had a double bed, which would work for now, but didn’t leave much room for anything else. What did a kid even need in his bedroom? 

Toys, of course. 

Books. 

A desk? 

A dresser? Or would the closet be enough? 

God he would need more clothes. 

And food that he'd like to eat. 

And shampoo and conditioner for kids. Those were different from adult hair products, right? 

That was most urgent, you decided. Making your home a home for him. 

“We should go shopping tomorrow.” You murmured, shifting Will in your arms a bit as you headed for the guest bedroom. He’d fallen asleep in the car and it was night, so it made sense for him to keep sleeping. 

What time did kids his age go to bed? 7? 8? You had no idea. Another question to answer. 

With a gentle hand on your back guiding you down the hall, Alexia hummed in agreement, but you missed the small smile on her face. “I bought a few things.” She reminded you. 

Your assumption was that a few things were a pair of pajamas, a new toy. A book, maybe? But when Alexia stepped around you to push the bedroom door open, your jaw dropped. 

A few things, apparently, was an entirely redecorated room. A beautifully redecorated room. The walls were no longer white; instead they were painted a soft green. A wooden twin bed sat in the corner, a green canopy hanging the tall headboard and footboard. The bed was covered in a green comforter, a soft throw blanket, and 4 different pillows. A long shelf sat just under the large window, filled with toys and books. There was a separate toy box next to the bookshelf, overflowing with even more toys; cars and books and dolls and stuffed animals. Everything. Wall decor, a rug, a dresser, a cozy chair in the corner next to a lamp. 

Alexia had thought of everything. And if you’d had any doubts about her dedication to this, to you, to Will, you no longer did. Alexia had done what you’d been too preoccupied to think of and made Will a space that was entirely his own, a place he could feel safe and comforted. She’d made your home his home without a second thought. 

Without a word, you walked further into the room, choking back a sob as you laid a still sleeping Will down carefully on the bed. He shifted in his sleep, snuggling close to the soft pillows as you draped the throw blanket over him. 

When you finally turned back towards your girlfriend, she was hovering in the doorway, chewing on her bottom lip as she gazed at you worriedly. 

“Too much?” She whispered. 

You barely held back the scoff that would have been much too loud, crossing the room quickly and throwing your arms around her. 

“No. Perfect. You're perfect. Thank you.” You mumbled into her neck, pressing kiss after kiss to the skin you found there. Alexia tightened her hold, walking the two of you backwards and out the door so you didn’t wake Will. 

“Are you crying?” Alexia asked, her thumb tracing across your cheek bone as she leaned back from your embrace. 

You sniffled pathetically, leaning back in to press your forehead to Alexia’s chest and steady yourself. 

“I was just so overwhelmed and you did this and it’s perfect Ale. Thank you. Thank you.” 

Alexia pressed a kiss to the top of your head, squeezing you tightly. 

“You don’t have to thank me. I promised, no? I’m here. We are doing this together.” 

“I love you.” You cried, overwhelmed with love and wonder at what an incredible person your girlfriend was. You’d already known, but she always found a way to surprise you, doing something so absurdly kind and thoughtful that you were struck all over again with how good she was. 

“I love you too.” Alexia replied, swaying the two of you back and forth gently. 

There were still a lot of unknowns. A lot of problems to solve and things to figure out. But you’d never been more sure that you could do it. It wasn’t ideal, but you had Alexia and that was certainly ideal. 

—

JUST finished this so PLEASE tell me if you catch a typo also planning more parts to this but i'm VERY open to ideas if you have them :)

[infinitydivine]

𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 (𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐏𝐀𝐂 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠)

Whose Soulmate Are You? (From Their Higher Self’s POV)

𝐀𝐤𝐚 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞'𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮

If this reading resonates with you, kindly share it to help your reader :)

Masterlist -Paid Readings-Paid Readings Reviews-PAC Readings

Choose your pile intuitively. Take what resonates and leave the other things. If you think this reading is not for you, then choose another pile. If it still doesn't resonate, then this might not be your reading. There are Three Piles.

Pile Snowflake, Pile Cat and Pile Photo

Hello Pile Snowflake~~~ (How your soulmate’s higher self would describe you)

Temperance, Queen of Cups, Three of Swords, The Star

Okay, Pile 1, your Energy is coming off as someone who is a healer intuitively. Their words are like these when they are talking about you

" You are a balm to my soul, a calm to my chaotic soul. You carry such softness in your heart that even after all of the shits you have been through you are still standing strong. You have this quiet strength which is not loud or showy at all but you are this steady person who is like a gentle tide that keeps moving. When you are with other people, they feel safe and calmer because you are such a sweetheart".

Pile 1, you are someone who feels deeply, like every emotion and everything. You may not always show it to the surface, even when you are deep down hurt. Your soulmate's higher self sees you as someone who is a natural healer. You may not even realise the impact you have on others. I am getting the vibes of a sensitive and empathetic soul from this pile. There is a deep sense of nurturing about you, and to me, it feels like you have spent a lifetime learning this art of how to love with patience and selflessness. Though you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders (I specifically heard this word when JK's song Seven was playing in the background, which resonates with the three of swords), you still find the strength to stand tall and offer your hands to others. Your capacity to love others is limitless, and so is your compassion. I heard this is your greatest strength and not weakness...opposite to what you think about yourself,f my loves. But even with this incredible talent of yours to heal others, you are also healing yourself, if not already, you are still learning. Your soulmate's higher self sees you as someone who, despite having your own emotional scar, never gives up on others...neither on love nor on hope.

Channelled Message from their Higher Self to you-

"I have been watching you for what feels like forever. Maybe from another Universe or Timeline, who knows, but the way you carry your heart, it touches me. You are the balm to my soul and calm to my chaotic soul (they repeated this phrase again, so it might be very important to them). Even in your quiet moments, you radiate so much love and warmth. You have this grace in how you love, which makes me feel like I can finally be myself. You are not here to fix me, but to love me, and that is the only healing I need"

If you liked the reading, book a personal reading with me or you could leave a tip for the reader.

Hello Pile Cat, ~~~ (How your soulmate’s higher self would describe you)

The Tower, Death, King of Wands, Judgment

Hello, Pile 2. You guys are coming off as fierce souls now, feisty, are we? (hehe). I got very straightforward words from your soulmate's higher self. Let's read them now.

"You are a force of nature. Some might even call you destructive, but that's just because they can't handle your fire but I can and I will. When you enter a room, you shift the energy and not because you want to, but because it's just who you are. You are full of fire and raw truth. You are not afraid to challenge people and to show them your raw self. This can be confronting for some, but those who are brave enough to see and recognise their triggers, you are the catalyst for their deepest transformation".

Pile 2, according to your Soulmate's higher self, what makes you so special is your ability to hold that mirror up to people's faces, but with love. You don't point out their flaws to tear them down, but you do it to build them up with tenderness and care. You see what others are too afraid to see and speak about, often, sometimes too scared to even acknowledge them. You are someone who helps push them towards growth while staying in your lane tho. You challenge them to take ownership of their lives and to live fully. You have been there and done that, that's why so can fully tell them to stop hiding in the shadows. You remind people that they have the power to create and rewrite their own stories. Your Soumate sees you as an inspiring force, someone who challenges them to become their better version even if it's energetically. They see you as someone who is helping them to shed their old skin and to rise higher. Your presence to them is like a spark that can ignite a fire of transformation and they are ready for it.

Channelled Message from their Higher Self to you-

"I feel you in my every bone. I feel your fire, your truth and your strength. You make me want to face myself and my darkest shadows. Even when I am afraid, you are with me, supporting me silently. I have never met anyone like you. You don't let me hide. You don't let me settle. I am so thankful to the Almighty for sending you to me and you are exactly what I need. Thank you for challenging me in the best way".

If you liked the reading, book a personal reading with me or you could leave a tip for the reader.

Hello Pile Photo, ~~~ (How your soulmate’s higher self would describe you)

The Lovers, Six of Cups, Page of Cups and the Moon

Hello there, Pile 3. Are some of you guys water signs? because I am feeling like I am under the water, but in a good way, it feels dreamy. Oka,y anyways, your Soulmate's Higher self has a lot to say but the main word is "dream".

"You are a living dream. There is an extraordinary quality to you that makes everything look more magical. Is it you, or are you an angel, sweetie pie? You have this unique ability to see the world through the eyes of wonder and possibility. Where others see the plain, you see the extraordinary things. You are an artist, and you create magic. The way you speak, move or do things, everything has magic in it. You make everything feel like part of a grand story. You bring joy to the boring things, and that is something rare and precious."

Pile 3, your soulmate's higher self is very jealous of the people who get to spend time with you because they know that they are immediately drawn to your infectious energy. The energy that keeps them wanting more of you and your Soulmate knows how easily you attract energy vampires who drain you. You remind your soulmate of the beauty of life, even in their deepest darkest time, the things they forgot to appreciate in their daily life. There is a softness in your energy that invites people a lot, like a lot sometimes even more than you want. You are not just a dreamer, you are someone who encourages others to dream and to believe in their very same dreams. You reach out to your soulmate through their dreams and they are very much aware of it. You have helped your soulmate and seen potential in them even before they saw it in themself. Your soulmates see you as someone who makes their world colourful and bright ,especially when they are facing their demons alone. You encourage them to reconnect with their heart especially those parts where they have deepest emotions and to trust in love. To them, you are a beautiful reminder that life doesn't have to be heavy or serious and that they can enjoy it despite going through difficulties. Your soulmate has so much respect and admiration for you because to them, you look like someone who makes everything possible.

Channelled Messages from their Higher Self to you-

"You have a special ability to make me see the world through a different lens. Your presence makes me believe in love again. You make me feel like I can trust you with my heart and you won't break it. It's like I can trust you, I can trust us. I see and feel how you make my life brighter just by even appearing in my dreams. I just want to keep dreaming and you should too. Please keep believing in yourself. You are everything I have ever hoped for."

If you liked the reading, book a personal reading with me or you could leave a tip for the reader.

Thank you and Love

Infinity

Dividers by @babybellangel 🩷

[astrologydray]

Ruler of the 12th through the houses

ruler of the 12th house through the houses, one of the most spiritually potent placements in the chart. The ruler of your 12th house shows where your deepest healing and spiritual evolution wants to unfold. This is the house of your spirit guides, hidden superpowers, and private battles.

12th House Ruler in the 1st House

You carry the unseen with you.

You’re intuitive, psychic, and sensitive AF. You may appear dreamy, ethereal, or mysterious — because you embody 12th house themes. Your subconscious is part of your identity. Gift: Healing presence, spiritual aura, psychic instincts. Identity confusion, absorbing others’ energy. “I walk between worlds.”

12th House Ruler in the 2nd House

You ground the spiritual into the material.

You may channel your intuition into building wealth, creating art, or healing others through touch and presence. You could inherit spiritual gifts or generational patterns around survival. Gift: Sacred sensuality, money magic, value-based intuition. Feeling unsafe to be seen or trust in abundance “I make the invisible, tangible.”

12th House Ruler in the 3rd House

You channel from the divine mind.

You may receive messages through dreams, downloads, or synchronicities. Writing, speaking, or teaching may be spiritually healing — but you may keep much of your voice hidden. Gift: Dreamy writer, intuitive communicator, psychic translator. Mental fog, confusion, or escapist thinking. “I speak what spirit whispers.”

12th House Ruler in the 4th House

Your roots hold your healing.

You may carry ancestral trauma — but also incredible generational gifts. Your inner world is deep, private, and spiritually charged. Home is a sacred temple or a portal for healing. Gift: Ancestral wisdom, deep emotional intuition. Emotional isolation, fear of being known. “My soul remembers where I came from.”

12th House Ruler in the 5th House

You create from the soul.

Your art, love life, and inner child are deeply connected to your spiritual path. You may be a secret romantic, or use creativity to process emotions you can’t express directly. Gift: Healing through art, sacred sexuality, divine play. Self-sabotage in love, fear of being fully seen. “I create to remember who I really am.”

12th House Ruler in the 6th House

You turn the sacred into ritual.

You have the power to channel divine energy into your daily life — whether through healing work, service, or wellness. Your body might reflect your spiritual/emotional state. Gift: Intuitive healer, spiritual discipline, energy worker. Illness linked to suppressed emotions, burnout. “My devotion is my medicine.”

12th House Ruler in the 7th House

Relationships are spiritual contracts.

You attract karmic partners — lovers or friends who help you awaken. You may lose yourself in others, or form soul bonds that force you to confront your subconscious wounds. Gift: Mirror healing, sacred union, emotional depth. Co-dependence, attracting unavailable or confusing partners. “Love teaches me how to heal myself.”

12th House Ruler in the 8th House

You are a shadow weaver.

You feel energy, emotions, and hidden truths deeply. Your spiritual work may involve death, trauma, sex, or psychology. You’re a natural mystic or medium. Gift: Deep psychic ability, power to transmute pain. Fear of your own power, emotional suppression. “I alchemize darkness into light.”

12th House Ruler in the 9th House

Your spirit seeks truth.

You’re drawn to mysticism, philosophy, and spiritual teachings. You may travel far (physically or mentally) to find yourself. Dreams and visions may be tied to past lives or higher knowledge. Gift: Spiritual teacher, cosmic explorer, wisdom-seeker. Escaping into ideas instead of healing emotion. “I remember through seeking.”

12th House Ruler in the 10th House

Your legacy is spiritual.

You may be called to do spiritual work publicly — or bring healing into leadership roles. You could have hidden talents that shape your career. Your reputation might come from what you’ve overcome. Gift: Public healer, creative mystic, compassionate leader. Fear of visibility, hiding your true calling. “My purpose is guided by something higher.”

12th House Ruler in the 11th House

You dream with the collective.

You’re tapped into the collective unconscious. You might manifest your dreams in quiet or indirect ways — or be part of online/spiritual communities that feel like home. Gift: Channel for collective energy, digital mystic, manifestor. Feeling disconnected or like an outsider. “My vision was planted in me for the future.”

12th House Ruler in the 12th House

You are the mystic.

You have strong psychic gifts, access to ancestral memory, and a deep spiritual life. You may crave solitude and need extra rest. Dreams, music, water, and art are sacred portals. Gift: Divine connection, healing presence, intuitive downloads. Isolation, victim mindset, hiding your magic. “I live between realms — and I came to heal.”

[theladybrownstarot]

𝜗𝜚 Pick-A-Card: Why are you important to this world ? [Timeless] [collab : @kalki-tarot]

How to choose 🪴: choose where you the soul feels~

Magic : Comment down the type mentioned below every pile(s) to claim the positivity of every reading ! I'll bless you personally 🤍🪷

|𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ִֶָ |𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐝-𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ִֶָ |𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 ִֶָ |

𝜗𝜚 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏.

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏 ! 𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠:

Okay , so pile no . 1 , You are important to this world because you are One among the genuine people in the world of fakes . Where people find for genuine companionship , all eyes turns on you With an indefinite hope . You Bring clarity and stability to the people who are surrounded to you . Actually , pile number one , you are a real person , real deal so Don't be afraid to accept that . The confidence that you keep in yourself by being a genuine person and taking that any approach , you feel confident for people automatically get inspired from you Believing that you are their ideal person to follow . You could be a good luck for people. I am getting this strong message that you have a roll of breaking the karmic cycle of many people , One among the important reason to why you are important to this world . You know you are a messenger of god you're a messenger for people to those who face any uncertainty you may come up with those messages that actually lighten the burden on people's shoulder . You're jupiter could be placed very good in your chart. You're a person who doesn't only believe that you should go ahead in life but you shouldn't be taking the people along with you nah you are like I'll go first but I'll too take along . You are a genuine , kind and giving person my pile 1 . You're at someone who is just sweet with everyone they meet around who are having trouble , but actually you are someone who will show them the ground reality by being mature and stating the facts as much needed than over . You come as a hope for people pile number 1 . I love the fact that you do not go ahead for popularity ditching others but play your role as a good human begin on this earth. I have no words to express to my gratitude here to you because ig you energy too doesn't allow since you are a laid back and chilled kind of person, pile 1. You only need to people to follow your advice and acknowledge thats enough you don't die around for compliments hell ya that's so amazing! Lysm 🤍 , Some Extra Messages : Capricorn sagittorus libra virgo , uttara ashada , revati , bharani, Swati, moon in aquarius, jupiter dominant or jupiter in fire sign & mars in scorpio .

Type : 111 to claim the positivity of the reading and I'll personally bless in the comment section wholeheartedly 🤍🪷

I too offer paid reading of various kinds, If interested than d.m me to get your own customized reading - link 🤍

For Donation- link

𝜗𝜚 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐. [@kalki-tarot]

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐 ! 𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠:

( lovers, 8 of swords, world, 6 of wands, Justice, Five of Pentacles, Ten of Cups, Strength )

The reason why this pile is so important to the world is because this group has creative and artistic individuals. You are blessing this world through your profound artistic abilities. People who are in twinflame or soulmate journeys have choosen this group. You are making a collective empact on this world through healing your wounds and changing your limiting beliefs. You were born into constraints or were pushed into self doubts. But all of this was a part of your journey, you're gonna alchemize all this pain into creative endeavors and you'll help others through your art by giving them comfort. You are a soul working with the higher power for a higher divine purpose, you're gonna help others by acting as a mirror so others can heal their shadow selves too and the collective can transcend into divine wholeness or union. You have walked through the shadows, some of you were also into toxic relationships. You are a rebellious soul, you'll inspire others through your own story. You are here to restore the imbalance created by false ego driven people against humanity. You carry the vibration of truth and rebellion, and you inspire the world around you to do the same. You walked through the pain, not as a punishment, but that was your initiation. Your importance lies in their ability to alchemize pain into love, turning separation into unity.

Type : 222 to claim the positivity of the reading and I'll personally bless in the comment section wholeheartedly 🤍🪷

𝜗𝜚 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑.

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑 ! 𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠:

OK , So pile number three , when I was doing your reading , I felt a lump in my throat which actually gave me a message that People in your early life must have mocked at you or would have actually laughed at you But you didn't stop there and became a voice for other people too speaking for yourself. So , inspiring and revolutionary you are . Your Quality of being stubborn makes you an important person to this world , because it helps you to find the eminent dangers around you lurking Which in returns help the other people. Your protective and caring of yourself and other people too . You are somaeone , who is patient and doesn't rush into things this helps people too actually inspire by living a life where they are truly living , enjoying the Bliss of their actions and doesn't rush into things . It feels as if being with you people forget about the fear of mortality and become more living ! No matter how critical you appear at same time, you are that warm humble person that everybody wants around because you give them security in all sense , especially their heart. People love you because you love them, People love themselves because you love yourself . How beautiful isn't it ? It's for that every person who choose this pile 🌸. You bring that positivity in people's life that couldn't find in Years , because of you they inspire to balance their life . It's you than it's them. You may not feel it but actually you really do impact people . Where everybody wants to fight for their things, you prefer.Negotiation , making people feel comfortable that they can approach and than cooperate with you , since you are a fair person . Some Extra Messages : Moon in Saggitaurus , Saturn in taurus , Venus in cancer, Capricorn and libra.

Type : 333 to claim the positivity of the reading and I'll personally bless in the comment section wholeheartedly 🤍🪷

I too offer paid reading of various kinds, If interested than d.m me to get your own customized reading - link 🤍

For Donation - link

𝜗𝜚 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟒.

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟒 ! 𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠:

Pile 4

(Two of Pentacles, The Moon, 9 of pentacles, Ten of Cups, Queen of swords, 8 of pentacles, 5 of cups, page of pentacles)

You are so important to the world because you are someone who has lived through emotional confusion and personal struggles, yet you continue to grow and guide others. You can juggle many responsibilities like emotions, work, relationships, and help others do the same. You bring harmony into chaos. You might have gone through periods of darkness, confusion, and fear, but you are deeply connected to your intuition and the unseen forces of the universe. You are a lightworker. You understand what others hide and you are not afraid of emotional depth. You may have some strong 8th house placements in your chart. You are wise and compassionate towards those who are lost or struggling. This group is filled with empathetic souls who are guiding others through their emotional and healing capabilities. You are someone who is self-made and independent. You also inspire those who do the same. You carry the energy of peace and connection. You bring people together and create a sense of unity, whether it is blood-related or spiritual. You pursue illusions and you speak with honesty, but your wisdom is healing. You are not afraid of hard work. You are always learning and improving. You remind the world that growth is a process and dedication leads to mastery. You are a karma yogi, acting without attachment. This mix of emotions, wisdom and honesty in your personality will serve a greater purpose in this world.

Type : 444 to claim the positivity of the reading and I'll personally bless in the comment section wholeheartedly 🤍🪷

Thank you so much lovelies for reading this ! It's takes a lot of time and energy to make such pick-a-cards so please make sure you support us 🤍 also we will be happy to know your responses in the comment section below about the reading ! Don't forget to type in comment section to claim the positivity of the readings since we will personally bless you there wholeheartedly! Love you and be blessed bye ♡

[cherriesncinnamon]

forgive me / father charlie x fem!reader

synopsis: after recently becoming involved with the catholic church, you soon start having inappropriate fantasies about your priest. desperately wanting to atone, you confess your sins.

warnings/tags: handjob, unprotected sex (don't try this at home), mentions of self harm/repentance, priest x reader (i mean no harm to the catholic community, this is just fiction).

word count: 1.3k.

a/n: sooooo🥰 i'm obsessed with nicholas chavez. i'm not gonna lie, i haven't seen grotesquerie fully, but after seeing his scenes i had to write a one shot about father charlie. this is completely and utterly feral. me when i need him biblically.

link to another father charlie piece i've done due to popular demand!!

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

I've never been a religious person. I've always believed that a higher power is unprovable, leading to my agnosticism. My mother is a devout Catholic, but she's never particularly pushed her beliefs onto me. That was until recently when she threatened to disown me if I refused to come to church for another Sunday.

The people are insufferable, the sermons are unstimulating, and I cannot bear knowing I could be doing something much more exciting with my morning. I sit at the very end of the pew, arms crossed in anguish, awaiting a middle aged, balding priest to appear and preach for an hour. But to my surprise, a much younger version emerges instead. Dark thick hair, darling brown eyes, and a charming smile. My eyes widen with intrigue at the strikingly handsome man before me. He begins to speak, walking up and down the rows of people, truly passionate about what he's saying. I'm paying attention to the words, but not so much the message. After the communion and the drinking of the wine, my mother and I mingle for a bit, chatting uselessness to the bored housewives. Church is the only liberating part of their week, and now I know why.

As if by a miracle of God, I become Catholic overnight. My mother is shocked at my interest in coming to church the following week, and the week after that, and that week after that. Each time I see him, my desire intensifies. Knowing that he has taken a vow of celibacy only entices me more. I imagine him bending me over the pews, his singular ring leaving an indent in my upper thigh. I need to confess. I need to release this demon that is plaguing my thoughts.

On a stormy Friday evening, I make my way to the back of the church, placing three hesitant knocks on his office door. The rest of the building is vacant, candle light being my only source of sight. His voices seeps through the door, permitting me to enter.

"Ah, Miss Y/L/N, to what do I owe the pleasure?" He welcomes me in with a warm smile, putting down the pen he was holding to usher me to sit.

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I- I've come to confess." I swallow, stuttering my words in fear. Father Charlie cocks his head in question.

"I see. Anything you say should be in confidence, your confession will be safe with me." He replies, nodding in reassurance. I fiddle with the hem of my skirt in anticipation, heat rising to my cheeks from simply being alone with him. I drape my long hair over my shoulder and clear my throat.

"I've been having impure thoughts, Father."

"Okay. And what do these thoughts detail?" He probes, clasping his hands together on the wooden desk. The Bible sits closed next to him; I can feel it judging me.

"Sexual thoughts. I want to pleasure myself, but I know I can't." I grip at my throat which has become tight, my stomach tingling with the remembrance of my fantasies. Charlie loosens his Roman collar, eyes searching the room for anything to look at besides me.

"I think about you, Father. You punishing me for my sins, taking me, sliding yourself into me." I spill, cheeks on fire and wine red. Father Charlie is quick to stand up from his chair, pacing to the other side of the room.

"I have taken a vow. Please do not seduce me." He begs, reaching for the door handle.

I stand in front of him, his tall frame towering over me, eyes fixated on mine. His chest is heaving, lips slightly parted as he breathes. Standing on the tips of my toes, I whisper.

"Don't you want to know what it feels like, Father? Just once?" My bottom lip lightly grazes his ear lobe, increasing his breathing pace. Our faces are mere centimetres apart, and I'm using all of my might to stop myself tasting him.

"I cannot abandon my faith, I mustn't." He insists, expression pained and frustrated. His brow is furrowed, forehead glazed in sweat. I can tell he is holding himself back with all his strength, and I'm feeling brave.

I take my fingertips and slide them over his clothed cock, smiling as it hardens under my gentle touch. Charlie goes to remove my hand, but quickly retracts when I speed up, using my palm to add pressure. I slowly undo his leather belt, lifting the waistband of his black pants. Taking him in my grasp, I stroke his thick length, watching in euphoria as his head tips back in bliss. His hands seek the stability of the doorframe for support, his knees weakening more every second.

"Feel me." Slipping my panties to the side, I guide his fingers to my pussy, slick with my arousal, begging for contact.

"Oh, forgive me Lord." He cries out, teasing my entrance with his digits while I excite his tip dripping pre-cum with my thumb. He stares at me in awe when I lick myself off his fingers, cock throbbing, veins pulsing blood into him until he's unbearably hard.

Hungry for my kiss, he devours my lips, biting my bottom lip playfully. Our tongues slide across one another, his hands gripping the sides of my face. He tastes like the Merlot we have at communion; sweet and fruity. My hands snake around his neck, twirling the thick locks of hair at the nape. His lips take interest elsewhere, peppering erotic pecks across my jaw, to my neck, and to my chest. I unbutton my white dress shirt, revealing my braless breasts. His eyes widen, immediately manhandling and kissing the supple skin.

"I want to feel you inside of me. Please, Father." I moan, perching myself on the edge of his desk, skirt hiked up to my hips. I spread my legs wide, fully revealing myself to him. He exhales in defeat, slotting himself between me.

Charlie rests his hands on either side of me on the desk while I line up his cock to my entrance, pushing my hips towards him. Grabbing my waist, he enters me, his length filling my walls like a glove. His voice groans deeply against my neck, his hand pressed on my lower back for support. His thrusts start off slow and juvenile, but quickly speed up to a pace we both can't take for long. I wrap my legs around him, pulling him in deeper. I moan sweet noises with every movement and caress, realising that this is better than I could've imagined.

"You feel so good, this feels so good." He sobs, nails digging into my hips so hard they leave streaks of blood. The cross around his neck swings in my face, reminding me of how sin can feel so good.

Waves of pleasure wash over me, the coil inside of me tightening by the second. I pull the back of his head close to me as my climax arrives. I bite his lip hard in satisfaction, tasting his blood on my tongue. It's not long before he follows in a moaning mess, burying his head into my chest, grabbing my breast as his warm cum fills me.

It takes a minute of getting our breaths back to move. I use a tissue to wipe his seed off my thighs. Father Charlie hastily redresses, fixing his collar and clutching his necklace.

"Lord, forgive me. Forgive me for this cardinal sin. Forgive me for enjoying it." He prays on his knees, staring up at a portrait of God. I place my hand on his back, feeling some guilt.

"I need to repent. You need to punish me." He says, picking up his leather belt from the floor and placing it in my hands.

"How can something that feels like this be a sin?" He asks me, tears in his eyes. I shake my head, not knowing the answer myself. He takes his shirt off, showing me his scarred back.

"Punish me, please."

[rainbowhearttribe]

Making Manifestations Fun Again! ☺

Eventually we will manifest all that we pour our energy into - the point is are we having fun along the way?

Or are we forcing ourselves to hustle all the time?

Remember your wholeness within,

Love - Palalika

•

[artist-issues]

If you haven’t seen Wish yet and you love Disney, do not go see it. I am telling you now. It is ripping out the hearts of the Disney movies you love and then waving their corpses around as if celebrating those hearts.

I’ll explain why, again: the message of Wish? Awful. Anti-Disney.

But they've been doing this for a long time. Saying one thing with their movies, and saying another with their PR and Disney Parks Soundtracks.

I'll explain.

Main Idea of Disney's Wish (and the You Are the Magic theme park song and merch): "The power to make your wishes come true is in you."

≠

Most Disney Movies' Idea on How to Have Wishes: "Do what's right, (trust a higher power) and something even more wonderful than what you wished will happen."

Don't try to argue with me about this. You have to look underneath the slogans and the sweater designs and the song titles to what the stories actually support to acknowledge this.

Because you can’t say “do what’s right” has power unless you answer the question “who gets to decide ‘what’s right?’” (Which, coincidentally, is a question Wish brings up and then doesn’t answer.)

Audiences of Disney used to accept that wishing on a star was much like prayer; there’s something you long for, and it’s out of your hands, but you wish for it and you do what you know is right in the meantime. And you’re not crushed, you’re not downhearted, because somewhere in your mind you trust that the combo of those two things—wishing on a higher power and diligence to do what’s good—will be what makes your wish come true.

Trust in a higher power—COMBINED WITH:

—diligence to do what’s good.

The Blue Fairy (higher power) gave Geppetto his wish specifically because he had demonstrated commitment to do good, whether he got what he wanted or not. The Fairy Godmother (higher power) gave Cinderella her wish specifically because she kept on being kind and good to low creatures like mice and wicked stepsisters, whether she got what she wanted or not.

Do you know why that combo (higher power + diligence to do good) is impactful? Timeless? Important?

Because it’s selfless. You want something, but you’re not going to sacrifice doing the right thing to get it. You’re not going to focus so hard on making what you want a reality, on your own, that you miss out on things that could be more important than what you want. And, you’re not so self-focused as to believe that if you don’t do it, it won’t get done.

Jeez, that’s the whole point of The Princess and the Frog!

Tiana wishes to have her own restaurant, and she believes that only her own hard work will grant that wish. She misunderstands her dad’s advice before he dies. She isn’t willing to trust a higher power combined with her own diligence to do good—she only trusts her own ability.

It’s not until she realizes that Ray, the character of faith, was right all along that she learns—what she wished for was too self-focused. It wasn’t complete without love. Something bigger than herself. And getting that was never going to happen just based on her own hard work.

But you know what? It was never going to happen just by a “higher-power” flavored shortcut, either. Because Facilier offers her her wish if she’ll just trust him, no hard work needed. But what does she say?

Trust in a higher power + diligence to do what’s right = selflessness, and getting more than you could have ever wished for. And if your wish is selfish, doing those two things will change your wish into something selfless.

More examples? Get ‘em while they’re hot, in case Wish made you forget, just like the current #NotMyDisney executives have forgotten, what real Disney wishes are for.

Belle wishes to have adventures in the great wide somewhere--but when she's imprisoned and that chance is taken from her it's not reversed because she worked hard to make her wish come true. It's granted because she gave up her wish for her father: she just did the right thing, regardless of her wish. And in the end, she does get what she wished for, which is adventure in an enchanted castle...and much more, because she gets true love, a throne, and a castle full of friends.

How about the One Who Started It All? The one Wish is failing to pay genuine tribute to?

Snow White wishes for someone to love her, and he does--but when they're separated, she does not exercise power to make The Prince come back to her. Instead, she loves who she can where she’s at—the Dwarfs. In the meantime, she has faith that he will keep his promise, and that pure trust in a higher power outside of her control is a big contributing factor to why the Dwarfs come to love her, and learn from her...and in the end, even more than she could've wished happens. He does take her to his castle, but she also has seven new friends who also love her, and the Queen is dead. And she didn’t need to use “the power in her” to work harder and get it done. She just needed to not focus so much on herself at all.

How about a male main character? One who’s wish starts out selfish, but after learning to wish on a higher power and be diligent to do the right thing, gets more than he could wish for?

Aladdin wishes to be somebody different (somebody he believes Jasmine could love, somebody who lives in a palace and is respected and “never has any troubles at all.”)—but doing everything in his own power for that wish proves that it was selfish all along; so he switches to doing the right thing, regardless of if his wish comes true, and he gets even more than he could’ve wished. He gets real love with Jasmine, he gets his friend Genie, and he gets to be free from feeling “trapped” because he doesn’t have to hide who he is anymore.

Or Simba?

Simba wishes to get to do whatever he wants as King—but when Mufasa dies and he’s convinced it’s his fault, it isn’t for that wish that he goes back to Pride Rock to confront his past and his Uncle. It’s because he had an encounter with a higher power—his father—that helped him to realize his wish was selfish all along. He gives up the selfish wish, and he goes back to take his place as king, not so he can do whatever he wants, but so that he can take self-sacrificial responsibility that comes with ruling. And because he just does the right thing, finally, he gets more than what he wished for.

How about something more recent? Zootopia.

Judy wishes to make the world a better place by proving she can be what she wants to be and catching bad guys—but when she tries to make her wish happen on her own, in her own abilities, she fails and is forced to realize that she should’ve been looking for help by understanding “bad guys,” like Nick. It’s only after she humbled herself, admits she’s wrong, and changes her wish from “proving I can be what I want and catching bad guys” to “proving that understanding each other makes the world a better place” (much less self-focused) that her wish comes true—and so much more. She does make the world a better place, and she does get to catch bad guys, but she also gets to befriend one who was a good guy all along, and become all-around more effective at her dream job.

This is how Disney always has been. Because it’s at the heart of good storytelling, and even life (not to get too dramatic.)

The power is not in you. Because it’s not about you. Self-sacrifice, faith, and doing the next right thing regardless of if you get your heart’s fondest desire is what makes more than just your wishes come true. And there has to be belief in a higher power to make that message powerful.

But Wish?

Not only is it bad at showing instead of telling. Not only is it lazy and soulless.

But it’s characters rip the Star out of the sky and say “don’t wish on this. Wish on yourself, to get what you wish for. You don’t need a higher power. You don’t even need to sacrifice to do what’s good—whatever you do is good, because you are the one doing it.”

That is wrong. That is not true, and it is not powerful. There’s no sacrifice in focusing on or placing your trust totally in yourself, and it undoes every good thing Disney has done up until now.

And it undoes it on the 100th anniversary, and it flaunts Easter eggs of the very things it’s undoing.