#mikey and leo astral project together

[brightlotusmoon]

I scrolled past some fics where one of the turtles smoking weed or taking edibles is automatically a very bad thing, and all I can think of is Reagan's DARE program that tried to use 87 Michelangelo to convince kids to not smoke weed, and it utterly backfired because of course Michelangelo is a stoner.

I'm not asking the kids to quit using the turtles as an anti-drug campaign in the 2020s, but the Turtles are not bound by human laws and ethics. And one of my favorite long-standing headcanons is that they can process certain foods and drugs differently than humans. Cannabis, caffeine, sugar, psilocybin, cocaine, opiates, chocolate, etc.

I love the way he does it 🤣

[wisegirlandseaweedbrainforever]

List of Tmnt fics I love (not writing the descriptions myself because that is where I chicken out every time):

You’re a pet shop employee and have two regulars that buy worms for their pet turtles way too frequently. That’s it, that’s the fic.

There wasn’t anything more precious than raising a child. But some people never were afforded the privilege of family. And some never think of those under their care as children in the first place. This is a small look at the Shredder raising his personal little monster.

Lost and alone in another reality, one turtle must try to find his way home. All while trying to forge a place amongst a family who lost one of their own under horrible circumstances and seemingly resents his very presence. No OC's. Set: 2k3 up until 'Good Genes'. 2k12 up until 'The Good, the Bad and Casey Jones'. 

Based on the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mikey was captured by the kraang when he, his brothers, and Splinter were mutated. While splinter was taking the turtles to safety the krang got ahold of Mikey.

He shuts the hologram off before it has the chance to turn back around. He knows how it ends: it'll shrug and then smile sadly and then say goodbye. But this wasn't a goodbye. Not at all. If anything, it was a hello. - - - Or; they lost. the kraang led out a full scale invasion. casey jones is only one in a few left.

It is despair, for lack of a better word. It is desolate emptiness. It is numbness and static and nothing. - - - Or; Casey loved Splinter too

Michelangelo is killed by the Newtralizer. He comes back roughly twenty minutes later. What's he doing in between those two moments? Turns out, the astral plane has a familiar face for him to speak to before he goes home.

Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo wake up in a maze, a 'fun'house, a jungle, and a cage. They're surrounded by three other turtles— that aren't their brothers. Or at least not the brothers they know. Each group has a Leonardo, a Raphael, a Donatello and a Michelangelo, but none of them are from the same universe. Pitched together with counterparts of their brothers, the turtle teams have to figure out how to survive the tests their mysterious captors are putting them through. Easier said than done, for some groups. ('03 Mikey is realizing he is going to have to be the responsible one. Why does he have to be the responsible one?) With many questions, and not a lot of answers, four sets of mixed-up brothers set their sights on goals they can all agree on: figure out what's going on, stop it, and make whoever brought them here pay. And try not to strangle their brother's counterparts while they're at it.

(Warning unfinished amd only 5 chapters but still one of the best crossovers I have ever read)

Leo was never lonely. Sure he has his pops and his brothers and his best friend sister April, but he also has someone else he's known almost all his life. He's a mutant turtle too, and for some reason, only he can see him. It's alright, it's not like he wanted to share him anyways. AKA A rewrite of some of the episodes where 2012 Leo is connected to Rise Leo's soul and acts like a weird imaginary friend [Part of the Mama Leo Series.] [Really fucking need to stop making projects while I have a bunch of unfinished ones and school]

Leonardo may have beheaded Shredder, but that doesn’t mean he’s gone. In fact, his soul is still very much alive, just trapped in another dimension, and now he’s a different turtle’s problem. (Rise and 2012 crossover. Mostly the Leos, because there’s not enough of those two.)

[iwasborn4this]

tmnt idw comics (rant) (spoiler warning for this whole post)

for the record i am a new tmnt fan. rise was the first version i saw literally just last year. i started the 2012 show (i stopped on season 2 for no particular reason but plan on continuing it soon) and then recently picked up the idw comics after seeing a lot of people say it was the best iteration of the turtles. and what do you know i fucking loved it. i started the main series about a week ago and now i’m on issue 127. i should’ve been doing college work, but it was so good i couldn’t stop reading. i became obsessed.

however all good things must come to an end because it got kinda ?? bad ?? after issue 105. absolutely loved issues 1 through 105. the down time after issue 100 was definitely needed, and i totally appreciated the turtles getting time to grieve and break down and pick themselves back up during 101-105. but then the whole mutant town arc Really started and it felt like the tone of the whole comic shifted very drastically ??? i usually love when side characters get some attention for a bit but now it kinda feels like they’re getting too much attention. specially the kids, i don’t find the weasels very likable and i think lita should get just a bit less attention. specially did not like the decision to have big lita come from the future and Say Plot Points At Them (im also completely ignoring her comment about leo and koya of all people. what ??? who made this decision). and it’s been getting gradually worse from there. i’m currently on issue 127 like i said and it just feels like the comic has some downtime and then it never picked back up. commander zom literally died on issue 126 and i didn’t feel any type of way about it except “well that was underwhelming”. shredder astral projecting to whisper in people’s ears is kinda weird. what even happened !!! how did the quality of the story-telling change so drastically !!! i wish i was better at identifying what specifically i dislike, and better at articulating it and explaining myself but yeah.

about specific characters:

- what’s up with casey. he kinda sucks now. started sucking after the breakup i feel like. i don’t need april and casey to get back together or anything but i feel like his character started getting meh after that and now we never see him and when we do he’s…. uhhh

- leo and raph’s independent emotional arcs make sense, i just wish there was more going on like there used to be before. love mikey starting a radio show, more of that please (this ties back in with me wanting more of the conflict with the outside of mutant town as well). and is it just me or is donnie not doing much of anything rn ??

- jennika: i’ve seen a lot of people complain about her but i actually quite like her. i think it makes sense that she would get a lot of focus from the story right after her mutation, and that we get to see her struggling with being a mutant and splinter’s death as well. i also don’t dislike the idea of her having an older sister dynamic with the other turtles, i just hope the narrative doesn’t overstep her place in the story. like i hope the story doesn’t start treating her like she’s on the same level as the og 4, or that she’s actually their older sister or something. maybe later on but currently it doesn’t feel like she’s known them for that long or is close enough with them for the sister thing to really work. and as for the 5th turtle thing just in general i don’t think introducing more turtles in any iteration is inherently a bad idea, i just don’t think it can work if you try to put said 5th turtle on the same level as the other four. it just feels wrong. but anyway

well that was longer than i wanted it to be. if someone actually bothered to read this post let me know what you think!! also i’m not totally caught up yet, does the story pick up again during the armageddon game arc ??? looking forward to it if so. i've been reading only the main series so far (oops, i'll get around to the other stuff i promise) but once the armageddon game arc starts i'll definitely read all of the (armageddon game-related) material chronologically

[brightlotusmoon]

Fanfic: The Square Root of Infinity, Ninja Turtles | FanFiction

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3159349/1/The-Square-Root-of-Infinity

-

"So it's okay then." And Mikey was up, flipping to his feet and then reaching back down. Raph stared at his outstretched hand.

"How..."

Mikey waited.

"How can you forgive me so easily?" His voice had stopped cracking, was coming out low, rough. "How can you care, just like that?"

And that sad smile was back. "I think the question is how could I not?" Mike sighed and shifted slightly, balancing on the balls of his feet. "Raph, there was never a question in my mind about whether or not I trusted you, or would forgive you. I did the second I saw you with the pipe in your hand."

Raph choked.

"It's like, counting the stars, picking up every individual grain of sand from a beach, or calculating the square root of infinity." Mike's eyes were like twin lasers, pinning Raph in place. "You're my brother – it's impossible for me to hate you. It can't be done. And I'm not gonna waste my time trying, when I could be stopping Donnie from eating all the cheese popcorn." His hand was still reaching out for him. "Understand?"

Raphael looked at the hand, and then reached out, grabbing it, letting his baby brother pull him up, and up, and then he was there, crushing Mikey, hugging him as though trying to keep him in one piece. Mikey hugged him back, burying his face into his brother's shoulder.

-

This is Michelangelo. He knows what he's about.

This is also exactly why AU explorations of his psychology and his dynamic with each brother are the best things ever, in this essay I will

[brightlotusmoon]

Anyway, the Mutant Mayhem movie will be in theaters in less than a week. If I don't go to a theater, it'll take me a while since a friend would need to upload it to Plex. But I plan on spoiling myself. It'll help motivate and inspire.

Leonardo the honor nerd, the good child, the solemn studious boy - the natural deadpan snarker full of dad jokes from the start

Sooo, there has been a lot of discourse about Leonardo, in all iterations, since Rise of the TMNT premiered. Arguments that this is what Leo is like without the burden of leadership, arguments that this isn’t Leo at all because he was always serious and intense.

Why not both? Both is good.

Leonardo was always a naturally studious, cool, collected, serious boy, eager to please, willing to be responsible and protective. Master Splinter noticed that Leonardo had instincts for leadership, command, commitment. Leo was great at strategy. Leo was gifted in being able to know his environment, his body, his clan mates. He was diligent and he worked extremely hard.

Leonardo also had a sarcastic streak a mile wide. Folded arms, rolled eyes, heavy sighs. He could deliver a devastating one liner that made others fall in line with groaning reluctance. He was making dad jokes back when they were uncle jokes. But as he grew up, he realized that he was a big brother and his family was rowdy and chaotic, so he began to hold his humor back more and more for the sake of being a leader and responsible brother. That snarky joking edge lord child sunk deeper into a rapidly changing mentality of honor, commitment, responsibility, a need to please Father and Master, the need to be The Best because Now We Are At War. A curtain of responsibility and self doubt fell over him.

2003 traumatized him and wrapped him in the curtain just enough to hinder him. 2012 pulled back the curtain just enough to let him crack jokes and laugh at himself. 2018 ripped off the curtain, erased the trauma, and yanked all that snark to the surface.

In Rise, Leonardo hasn’t been exposed to the things that really require his solemn studious side. He feels like a kid who can bounce around and fling himself at life without truly worrying. He is still determined, committed, loyal, studious, happy to learn, whip smart and ready to lead his clan and pull them out of danger while being totally assured that he’s doing the right thing, that he knows exactly what he’s doing, that if they would trust him he would help them become great. 2018 Leo is still Leonardo. He’s merely able be glib, flighty, arrogant. Because he does not yet need to constantly fight for the lives and wellbeing of his clan, he doesn’t need to prove he’s the best even though he still really wants to. He’s a good warrior. Right now he’s a teenager who knows his life could change at any time and he’s hoping to get as much joy out of it as he can. He’s valid. All parts of Leo are valid.

Let’s look at Leonardo and Michelangelo. In 2003, they’re each other’s foils. Mikey wants Leo to relax and lighten up because he knows he can. Leo wants Mikey to be serious and to exercise his potential because he knows Mikey can be so much better. Mikey may be holding back because he knows he could be better than Leo and there seems to be an unspoken deal about that. Leo may be frustrated because he wants Mikey to surpass him. They just want the best for each other. Mikey knows full well how easy going and silly Leo can be if he let himself go. In 2012, Leo has relaxed enough that he and Mikey automatically formed a tight bond, pushing and encouraging each other to just keep being their best, and Leo is clearly able to snark with ease, despite his insistence on responsibility and his own burdens.

2018 has turned the universe sideways for them. Leo and Mikey are partners in crime, they’re each other’s Person, they get each other automatically. This version of Leo is the only version who would be an honorary Michelangelo in the other iterations, as my lovely friend @kalachelone stated. It’s not because he’s suddenly the Mikey of the show, it’s because he’s embodying the spirit of who Mikey is.

He is a Leonardo in full, creator approved, Canon Divergent only as much as the original Mirage Tales of the TMNT by the actual creators, not to mention IDW, written by Kevin Eastman himself.

To deny and insult 2018 Leo is to scoff at a creator approved side of Leonardo that we’ve needed to see since the beginning, the rebellious, joyful, tactically intuitive, whipsmart, cool Leo with lightning wit, dramatic extra edginess, smooth confidence, and an instinctive ability to command teamwork. Validate him.

[brightlotusmoon]

-

Leo paced the dojo, hands behind his back, sending out his aura again, calling Splinter's name, but the rat's spirit never showed. Leo gradually began to do katas, which dissipated his anger somewhat, but every time his hands moved in a manner similar to the mantras, he snarled. He didn't even really know what the damn Healing Hands actually did, and he instinctively used them on a brother's broken bone! He knew the mantras weren't supposed to be a panacea, but Splinter hadn't exactly prepared the boys beyond mentioning the technique when they were younger before using it during Karai's venom application under Shredder's control.

By the time Raph called him to dinner, he was sweating and still upset, and Splinter still had not appeared. Leo felt ready to cry. How dare he. How dare he die and leave them like this, with Leo as Sensei, uncertain and afraid and devastated, the youngest already buried under health problems that should never have touched him.

Leo was so tired.

-

Anyway I had gotten new kudos on this and realize I hadn't read in in over a year.

[brightlotusmoon]

TMNT MTL fanfic question

So, hey, while I'm writing "Children Of The Moon" with polyamory and sexualities and mental illness and physical disabilities and psychic powers getting passed around, is there anything I should write with the boys and Mikey's psionics linking them? Like, with the previous Raph story. Or a telepath thing with Donnie. Or Leo doing a remote viewing on his own without Mikey. I dunno. I mean, a lot of it has Shinigami and Renet arguing until they start getting along.

[brightlotusmoon]

Headcanon: It was a shared dream. They're still seventeen. But it changes them, and now Mikey starts developing empathic clairvoyance and Donnie starts working on that robot body and Raph starts working out more and Leo starts training more and being paranoid.

They start getting abnormally protective of their friends. They start patrolling more. Everything is weird now.

Maybe I'll write a story about it. It can be a new chapter for my "The Sunshine Child" series.

[brightlotusmoon]

It's true, though, you can tell.

Leo: *on the phone with Usagi* No I don't have a least favorite brother. I do have a favorite, and it's the youngest.

Raph and Donnie: HUH!?

Mikey: *happy Mikey sounds*

[brightlotusmoon]

Oh hey, so remember how my AU "The Sunshine Child" happened because of an offhand comment after the start of TMNT 2012 Season 5 about how both Leo and Mikey should have seen Splinter's ghost and they could use their Superior Spiritual Intuitions to play games and Ghost Splinter could be in on it and someone demanded I write a fic about it and it turned into five stories? I totally need to get back to that, now that Leo and Mikey will share a special bond. Invigorating!

[brightlotusmoon]

This fucking migraine. I had to quit writing and lie down. Fuck it too because I was in the middle of a great scene where Leo and Mikey bond over Mikey's telepathy. Also I won't lie, the news that 2018 Leo and Mikey will share a special bond is giving me epic life and will absolutely influence new Mikey The Lifegiver stories. I still love the B-Team, I still love Team Chaos, but I have been WAITING for a really good Leo and Mikey dynamic that will highlight the big/little brother bond. Seeing as how one of the Lifegiver fics won an award for the Leo and Mikey dynamic, I have a need to explore it more. I know people are waiting on the promised Mikey and Raph empath fic, but I told myself I can still work on three or four fics at once.

Seven more months of Love/Hate for the new turtles. Meanwhile I'll be over here with my "what the hell do you mean, psychic powers" AU that started in the 90s.

All is fanfic.

All is What If AU.

PS, fucking migraine.

[brightlotusmoon]

Here, have the next piece of the chapter because I still need to figure stuff out and I don’t want to say 4Kids Splinter was a jerk but 4Kids Splinter was a jerk.

Mikey butted his forehead against Don’s collarbone and drew in a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry, Donnie, I’m s-sorry, L-Leo…Leo, I’m sorry.”

Leo swallowed and ran his thumb down the side of Mikey’s face. “Sorry for what, little one?”

Mike blinked and raised his head, shifting in Don’s arms until he was facing Leo. He looked miserable. “F-for hurting myself. For ne-never paying attention and never taking anything seriously. And you…you s-still trained me for the grudge match when everyone else abandoned me, even Mas-”

Lightning quick, Leonardo had wrapped his arms around his youngest brother, Donnie’s arms still supporting. “Oh, sweet Mikey. Oh, my gods. No, don’t think about that. Don’t think like that, okay? You��re Mikey, you are our Mikey, and you should never apologize for being yourself. Not to us, not to Sensei, not to anyone.”

Michelangelo was sobbing now, heaving like a child, and Raph was massaging his carapace and pressing his beak to Mikey’s shoulder. Donnie bit his lip and clenched his teeth and lowered his beak to Mikey’s head. Their fault. It was their fault. Michelangelo had been so happy he won the Championship, so fucking proud, and all he ever wanted was their approval, their praise, their love, and yes he boasted and bragged but how else could he explain and express his desperate need to be noticed? His own father didn’t know how to raise him and train him, he couldn’t get access to ADHD medicine and not even the special herbal teas could help completely. Mikey had been left floundering in a family of discipline and darkness, throwing energy and light into shadows that rejected him…no wonder he had clung to the Battle Nexus Championship.

Donatello cried and all his logic and reason drowned in love and fear.

Eventually he heard Leo again. “Mike, no, you were never a burden. You were our heart, you were our joy. Being able to watch you still act young and carefree reminded me that there were more important things than nobility, honor in death, being a great warrior. We were and are still so young and inexperienced. We only have each other. It is like what I told you. I won’t let you fall. We would fall with you. I’m here. I’m protecting you, Mikey. I always was and I always will.”

Don felt Mikey hiccup and tip his head back, so Don kissed his head and pressed his palm to Mike’s forehead. Raph’s fingers were working tense muscles against Mike’s neck and upper back above the carapace.

“An’ I’m with him all the way, Mikey,” Raph said hoarsely. “I’d give my life to protect you.”

“That goes for me as well,” Donnie said between sobs. “We never want to lose you, Mike.”

A massive shudder ran through Mike’s body and for a instant Donnie’s mind screamed seizure! but it passed and then Mikey burst into tears again, moving to Leo again, wrapping his arms around Leo’s waist. “No, no, no, no,” he gasped. “You…you...you don’t get it, that’s not what I want from you. I…I want you to live. I want you all to be with me. I don’t ever wanna lose any of you, ever, don’t you get it? I don’t want you to give your lives for me. It’s better if I go first, I’m the expendable one, I-”

A long, loud growl from Raphael filled the room, as Leonardo’s arms tightened and Donatello gasped in shock.

“Don’t you ever, ever say that again,” Raphael hissed, amber eyes blazing. “Michelangelo, do you hear me? I never want to hear you say you’re expendable.”

Slowly, slowly, Mikey turned and looked at Raph, swallowing. “Are…are you angry?”

“Damn fucking right, I’m angry.”

“I feel it. It hurts.”

“Yeah, it hurts. Didn’t you even hear what Leo said? We all go down. Together.”

“But…Raph, no, I was always the weak link, I was never a great ninja…”

“Mikey, keep talking like that and I will smack you…”

Mike’s body abruptly went rigid, his eyes wide and cloudy, and his breathing became harsh. Donnie quickly locked his arms around his plastron, rested his chin on Mikey’s shoulder, and began to rock him. “Ssshhhhh, Mikey, breathe, breathe, you’re okay, it’s an anxiety attack, you’re okay, Raph’s not gonna hit you…”

Raphael inhaled sharply and Donnie caught the look of sheer horror before Raph scrambled back on his butt, tucking in his arms, staring at Mike.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t…I’m so so sorry, I never…I wouldn’t…”

“You did!” and Mikey’s outburst was sudden and raw. “You hit me and then we grew older and you stopped but you did and I remember and…and I forgive you, Raphie. I forgive you. I forgive you.”

Shaking, Raph crawled back and gripped Mikey’s arm. “But I still hurt you.”

“Yeah. And…and it’s in my head.” Mike looked at him tearfully. “But…you need to know that I forgive you. All of you.”

Raph rested his head on Mike’s shoulder. “I’m such a fucking asshole.”

“But you’re my fucking asshole.”

Leonardo let out a shaky breath, almost a panicky laugh. “Mikey, please tell me you feel even a little bit better about being in the clan.”

Mikey managed a smile. “Yeah. I do. But I don’t know how to talk to M- to Splinter. How do you tell your parent he fucked you up because he didn’t know how to connect with you?”

Donatello huffed, almost a laugh. “You don’t. You rehearse it over and over in your head until you have a whole script and you just never find the courage.”

Mikey turned to him and nuzzled him, purring. “M’sorry, Donnie. Not like he really understood your brain either.”

“He tried,” Don replied easily. “But I’m not sure he really tried with you.”

[brightlotusmoon]

Between you and me and our shared headcanons, both Leonardo and Michelangelo aren't getting out of this without stitches, crutches and piles of comfort and dry gallows humor. Hahahahahaha-

Save him

Pixel art Commissions

[brightlotusmoon]

Oh, fuck, I just saw a YouTube review of the sibling dynamics between Leonardo and Michelangelo and I am completely agreeing that Mikey sees Leo as a protective mom who he can learn from and Leo sees Mikey as a problem child he is responsible for, so The Brightest Fire or The Sunshine Child will have to have scenes like that. Besides Splinter never really connected to Mikey and after a while in 2003 he gave up and enjoyed Mikey getting a beatdown while Leo was the only one who believed in Mike's potential. I have Issues with Splinter and his psychology around the youngest.

(The Sunshine Child series focused on Leo being all Nobody Hurts My Problem Child Not Even My Dead Father Also Fuck You Dad and I think I need to continue it.)

Because while I loathed how 2003 Mikey was written to be a wild insufferable brat, I adored how he was given moments of powerful intense insight and depth and spiritual talent.

I'm cool with Asks for stuff to write in any of the AUs, even CFR. But if i can just get the next two chapters of Brightest Fire out and up I will feel better.

Also maybe 2018 Leo being more laid back will help once we start seeing actual evidence.

[brightlotusmoon]

TORMENT! and Mikey.

When your two AU fic series in the same fandom basically have the exact same premise with small differences, but it really doesn’t matter because the characters are still different versions of themselves. What I’m tryin to say is: the latest story in “The Sunshine Child” and the first chapter of “The Brightest Fire” are coming from the same place, but it’s actually a nifty challenge to recall the differences between 2003 TMNT and 2012 TMNT so I can get the details right. I’ll need to do some research, maybe ask some 2k3 experts about episodes. Now that 2012 canon officially gave the green light to torture the cinnamon roll, I am going to run through the Break The Cutie and Iron Woobie tropes like there’s no tomorrow. Y’all are going to hate me. But someone has to keep the “Hurt Mikey” fics going, because there are so many “Hurt Donnie” fics out there. My two geeky neurodivergent turtle children are beloved so much that they need to be tormented. In relation to each other. Throw Leo into the mix emotionally, make him watch. Raph can comfort everyone, it’s his new job. Haa, ha ha. (PS, all the wikis and descriptons of Michelangelo mention that his 2003 incarnation is something that is never talked about in the show: “ Michelangelo is also appointed to be "the one with the brightest fire" or with the most potential by The Ancient One. Master Splinter also claims a few times that Michelangelo obtains the most "raw talent" of all the brothers. Although, both Master Splinter and The Ancient One, say because of Michelangelo's lack of focus and interest in training, he will probably never meet his full potential.” The 2012 animated comic released before the CGI show had Splinter talking about Mikey having the most raw potential, more natural talent than his brothers combined, lacking the focus and drive. So what if Mikey started really using that potential and talent? He would be terrifying and amazing. It’s a good thing he has such a good heart and a cheerful disposition, because if he was trying to deliberately hurt someone, it would be the most horrifying game of cat and mouse ever. I love fics and headcanons that portray him with that possibility.)

[brightlotusmoon]

Ohh. Physical therapy was intense, I worked my ass off. And my core. Lots of balance exercises. Dead Bug and Breathing Cat, which as it turns out are amazing for ADHD concentration. Two sets of ten: Lying on my back knees up but not too much , arms up straight. And on my hands and knees, knees and hips aligned, breathing through the stomach, just breathing. My thoughts swirled all over the place and just kept centering on keeping my breaths even and my abs tight. I was able to imagine an entire fiction scene while concentrating on my core. Even when the PT gently nudged my limbs during Dead Bug to check muscle strength.

I like this way more than yoga, which is probably the same family of exercises with different names and purposes but tends to make my mind wander.

No wonder Michelangelo gets bored with traditional meditation. I need to write a ficlet where he does an ADHD style meditation. Wait, I did. I really should write more details, though...

***

Automatically, Leo shuts his eyes, waits for the warmth and glow of meditation to start pulling him toward the astral plane. Something itches against his personal space field. Someone is humming. Leo cannot help but twitch.

Why is Mikey humming?

"Mikey," he hisses, "meditation is supposed to be quiet!"

A pause.

"Leo!" Mikey hisses back, a smile in his voice, "no it isn't!"

He opens his eyes and frowns.

His littlest brother is inches from his face now, crouched casually, huge eyes wide and sparkling. He is grinning.

"There's this thing, Leo," he says lightly, and pokes Leo's nose. "See, there's this thing about every person doing something to the best of their own ability, no one way, no right way, no wrong way. Meditation is a thing like that."

Frowning harder, Leo huffs and leans his head away. "See, this is why you never reach the astral plane when we meditate together. I hear you fall asleep all the time."

"That's because it's boring. I can't help it. I put on a show because I have to." Mikey's head tilts, like a bird's. "When I'm alone, I don't have to play a part. That's the best part of being alone."

Leo blinks. What part? Mikey's acting is always hammy. He huffs again and murmurs, "Just get back to meditating."

"You asked me to help you learn how I know stuff, bro. I can't do it like that."

Leo opens his mouth, then snaps it shut. Mikey has had attention problems his entire life, and now with access to the internet they know it's ADHD and learning disabilities. He cannot criticize a disability. But he can criticize a follow-through on a project. "Mikey, you must learn to rein in all your energy and extroversion, use it to concentrate and focus on the task at hand. In meditation, you-"

"Focus on breathing, focus on reaching a higher plane of thought, yada yada yada," and Mikey hold up a hand and pretends it is a puppet mouth. "I can do that, Leo, seriously, I can. Just…I can't do it your way. And you need to realize that. You can't force it. You need to go with the flow."

"My flow is perfectly fine-tuned and balanced and on a steady path," Leo replies, eyes narrowed. "Yours goes all over the place, like your fighting style. While that is great in battle to disorient the opponent, in traditional medita-"

"Shit, Leo, are your ears working? I. Can't. Do. It. Like. You. And you dragged me in here to ask me specifically about how I have this…this psychic intuition thingy, and you want me to demonstrate, and you keep demanding I do it on your safety net, with your rules, and god damn, Leo get your head out of your ass. I know firsthand that it can stretch a lot, but yours has gotta be pretty loose to fit that whole thick head inside. And here we all thought your ass was too tight. Did you bump up against that stick while you were in there?"

Leo freezes, mouth open, eyes huge. Not only did Mike mock and throw shade, he just made a crude joke referencing his horrific rape trauma. While poking holes all over Leo's ego and puffed up pride.

"Uhhh…"

"Yeah, kinda feels painful when you fall so far from your high horse, doesn't it?" Mikey smirks and shrugs, rolling his neck and shoulders. When he meets Leo's eyes, there is a flicker of fire, a snap of ice.

He's been hanging around Raph too much.

Or maybe this is just how Mikey is now, matured and forced to grow up after rising from the ashes of unspeakable horrors.

Leo swallows a lump in his throat. His sweet, kind, naïve, innocent baby brother, the precious child of sunshine whom he must protect at all costs. Who has been viciously attacked, excruciatingly injured, brought to the edge of death, emotionally tormented, and violated sickeningly. Guilt and heavy dark responsibility settles on Leo's shoulders and digs in bloody claws.

Mikey is frowning, very quiet. He looks just above Leo's head, squinting, and then he lets out a soft growl.

"It's dark," he pouts. "Shouldn't be so dark. You know better, Leo."

Leo pats the top of his head. "I don't understand. What do you see?"

"The color, Leo. Your colors. They're all over you. Some of them are dark on you right now. You're doing that guilt thing again, aren't you."

He hangs his head, breathes deeply. "Mikey, I'm your older brother and your leader. I have a job and a duty to-"

"I can take care of myself. Don and Raph, too. You can't fight all our battles for us. That's your problem here. You made your colors too dark because you don't wanna look at yourself. Turn all that around. It might take a while. Then we can start doing it my way"

Leo's brow knits as he rolls Mikey's odd word placement around in his head. He doesn't know how long he sits there in contemplation, but when he looks up, Mikey is gone. The television volume is louder, and Mikey's laughter is heard over it. Leonardo bites the inside of his cheek and feels as though he's done everything wrong.

***