#peachkkumas diary

[peachkkuma]

ᰍִ ۫͟ ͟ ☁️ ִ✧ 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄

hello, I’m Tiffany and this is my manifestation diary! If you haven’t read my previous diary entries yet, recently I’ve come to the realization that I’ve overcome all of my obstacles and there truly is nothing in my way except for me. So I made the decision yesterday to put my foot down and take the leap of faith, in other words, stop putting off manifesting my dream life because of fear. now this account will hold not just my diary entries but also the documentation of my journey to finally and seriously manifest my dream life.

╰┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄ ♡ ♡ ♡ 05.21.2024

let’s begin!

ㅤㅤㅤ𝐈. ⊰ ۫ 🐻‍❄️ ◌ ִ ੭ ˑ DEFINING THE OBJECTIVE

I want to make the end goal a bit more clear, the term dream life is both pretty straightforward and a bit vague. what would I like my dream life to include? how would my dream life make me feel? and ofc, I’m not just manifesting my dream life, I’m manifesting my dream self. what would my self concept be? how would I like to be?

tiffany’s dream life check list - what it means to live my dream life

attend my dream school

be 100% perfectly healthy (physically, mentally, emotionally, in every way basically)

have good eating habits and a good relationship with food

have perfect straight A pluses (revision to previous grades as well)

have the perfect friend group for me

healthy, super soft, hydrated, moisturized, smooth clear skin (and elimination of acne genes) (body + face)

perfect tangle free hair at all times, pretty, voluminous, bombshell hair

a healthy, perfect, loving relationship with everyone in my family

own a super cute and fluffy golden retriever puppy

high paying jobs for my parents <3

have a rolls royce with a pink exterior

grow taller

have every single clothing item I’ve saved on Pinterest

have my YouTube channel blow up

complete head to toe desired appearance

desired lifestyle

perfect eyesight

be super good at makeup and have all desired products

have a gorgeous bedroom

have a very active and lively social life

have the perfect, most ideal school, social, and home life

completely healed phone addiction

have a lot of desired hobbies that I’m very good at

have a fun and eventful life, always have fun plans and something going on

be on the right track career-wise

elimination of social anxiety and shyness

high self esteem and confidence

be more in touch with my culture

be a complete master at manifestation

huh, this is shorter and less serious than I thought it’d be, ig this was also a way of getting out of my own head. I thought manifesting my dream life would be a bit challenging for some reason, but ig a dream life rlly isn’t as complex as I thought it was. I mean now I feel silly, it’s just a dream life! nothing more than a lifestyle and a few personal fixes. I feel like I just got humbled.

𝐈𝐈. ʚ ⊹ ִ⏲️ 𑁯͟ ɞ THE OUTLINE

alright, I know what I want and I know how manifestation works. but just to make sure I don’t over complicate anything or things dont get confusing, I’ll create a sort of plan or outline. Little steps I can fall back on if I get a bit lost.

step number one we have covered, have a desire

step number two, put your foot down and make the firm decision that you have it. this decision is for good, nothing u do can take this decision away so don’t u dare worry about “ruining progress” or “messing up”— u’re better than that.

step number three, once you’ve decided it’s done, it’s done. the only and I mean it when I say only thing for you to do is to act like it. imagine you, the creator of your reality, making the decision that you have something only to then be like “is it coming?” “do I have it?” BE FR!! act like you have it, think like you have it, and see the world as if you have it— because you do. you decided you did, didn’t u? It’s ur reality, what u say, goes. and no, you’re not acting like u have it to get something out of the 3D, you’re doing it for your sanity. Because you deserve a break, you deserve relief, you deserve to be the you that has it all!! let yourself be in the sowf because why shouldn’t u be certain you have it? don’t entertain anything that says u don’t. getting in the sowf is easy, u deciding u have it is all the confirmation u need. there’s no reason for u to not be certain u have it.

sowf = knowing that u have it

step number four, optional not necessary but it’s really gonna help and is fun. immerse yourself in the new story. experience it!! have fun!! u finally got what u want, u finally r who u want to be, so choose to live that life!! try methods for the sake of fulfilling urself (never to make anything appear in the 3D, u know better, 3D desperation doesn’t get anybody anywhere.) try out methods to have fun and be more familiar with having what u want.

that’s it girl, that’s all u gotta do, that’s all u ever had to do. decide it, experience it, assume it. u don’t always have to feel “good” or “happy” u just have to know u have what u want, u just have to assume. the goal is to truly know that u have it, to be faced with the 3D and still know it in ur bones u have what u want. u deserve to trust urself like that, u deserve to be fulfilled like that, and u deserve those things from YOU not from the 3D. U deserve to feel secure in urself, don’t let ur security come from the 3D. loa bloggers mean it when they say the materialization is simply the cherry on top and I get that now. For me, it’s about being able to depend and trust urself, to rely on urself, and in that way everything else comes off the pedestal.

✉️ : ahhh I forgot to finish up this post yesterday but here it is!! I’m so excited!! part two to come soon ♡

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 06 ︴MAY 11, 2024

dear loass diary…

it’s very late at night and I should probably go sleep but I have to get stuff off my sleep deprived mind first. (reader beware, I have no idea what my fingers are about to type but there’s a high chance it’ll be a mess because of how tired I am)

so, as a human being, ofc I have my moments. One of those moments being a “ugh, why is it so hard to identify with being in the sowf?”. Which, first, I think it’s important to normalize (eeeeuuuughhh I hate that word) having those small moments. There’s a difference between having limiting beliefs and little doubts here and there. You’re human, it’s bound to happen. Just know that nothing has been messed up or stopped. Back to my original point, I was thinking “why can’t I identify as the version of myself who has xyz?” Until randomly and unexpectedly I had a thought that said “why is it so easy for you to identify with not having it?” And I’m not gonna lie, I was gagged like I ate with that response. That had never come across my mind before, certainly not when I was in the middle of a “aaauuuughhh why is this so harddddd” kinda moment. Anyways, let’s answer that question. Obviously that’s because of the 3D. Since I am always acknowledging or interacting with it, I’m gonna find it easy to identify with it. But just because something’s easy doesn’t mean it’s what I’m supposed to do. I have to remind myself that this, my circumstances, my situation, my 3D, my senses, whatever— it has the same value as imagination. Now, despite me knowing imagination is where ir all happens and is the one true reality and is superior to the 3D in every way, I may or may not but most definitely am subconsciously holding onto the embarrassing habit of seeing the 4D as less than or not as real as the 3D. Anyways, I wasn’t stuck in the 3D, no not at all. U can never be stuck in a state or reality since u have all the ability to change it. I was choosing the 3D, choosing my circumstances, choosing my physical and limited senses. Because that’s all I can do, every thought, assumption, belief you have all stems from a choice u made. I chose to accept my 3D and so those thoughts came. And so the assumption that I was stuck came. So ofc, if I can choose the 3D then I obviously can choose imagination, can choose my desires. But then came another thought “erm, choosing my desires is hard” GIRL NO ITS NOT!! I mean it when I say it’s not!! u think it’s hard because ur still prioritizing what u can see with ur physical senses.Just imagine, see what u want as if u had it in ur minds eye and remind urself that it is real. Entertain the thoughts ur ideal self would entertain because u are her. U already are everhthing, just choose it.

alright, good night y’all I’m gonna go to sleep and hope that any of this was comprehendible.

kisses, peachkkuma

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 01 ︴MARCH 27, 2024

dear loass diary…

I think one of my biggest problems when it comes to manifesting is that I think it’s all above me. I’ve been in this community for so long— despite manifestation actually clicking for me 8 months ago —and so I’ve put it all on a pedestal. now it just seems like I’ll never be able to even feel like I’ll have my desires, let alone have them. I see people talking about how they feel satisfied imagining or how they get into the sowf and I just have never been able to do that. But at the same time, I’ve never actually stuck around long enough, never persisted for long enough, to actually feel good when manifesting. It’s like I use manifesting as instant gratification. I’ll satisfy myself for a while and then go back to my unwanted state. the worst part is, I see the sowf as something temporary. It’s almost like I subconsciously intend on not staying persistent in my desired state.

to switch gears for a second, there’s something else on my mind. I wonder why I feel like I haven’t manifested. Like I haven’t made any progress. I know, really know, that the 3D isn’t confirmation. So why am I treating it like it is? is it out of habit? I feel like I’ve over consumed so much loa content that I don’t even know anything anymore. everytime something makes sense my brain goes “well that loablogger actually said so and so about that☝️🤓” anyways back to my main point, who said I didn’t have what I wanted? that I wasn’t in the end? That the manifestation isn’t complete? no one, so why is every thought in my head “I haven’t manifested yet” “I’ve been slacking with manifestation”. and don’t even get me started on how I treat manifestation like it’s a verb, like it’s simply just conscious repetition.

creation is finished point blank period. as soon as I desired my desire way back when, it was already made. the state where I live everyday like I want to already exists. There’s nothing I have to create. The state where every little desire I have coexists with each other and is in my posession already exists!!! all I have to do is be conscious of it! embody it! so why is that so hard? Me not having my desire is also a state, I’m not even experience the 3D I’m just experiencing my state. and that state, my current one, the one where I don’t have what I want, the one I identify with— is just a state. And I feel that to be real, despite it being unfavorable I unintentionally fulfilled it. This is what I am conscious of and is what I am assuming, that’s all. It’s just a state. Favorable states are no different.

feels like I kinda had a full circle moment here 😭😭

kisses, peachkkuma

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 12︴JUNE 5, 2024

dear loass diary…

this couldn’t have happened any longer than ten minutes ago but I’ve finally felt what it’s like to be nailed to a state. and let me tell u this, it wasn’t the state I wanted. I’m sitting here on my bedroom floor rn, my actual diary laid out in front of me along with some pens. I was about to journal, mainly because I was feeling anxious about my circumstances, but here’s the thing. Yesterday, I made the goal to really live in imagination and try to be in it as much as I can. I wanted to know what it was like to be completely nailed to a state. Not even to get anything but because I want to and because it feels nice. anyways, back to that anxious feeling— I was thinking to myself “wait why am I feeling anxious? this doesn’t even make any sense I was happy with my state and my imagination yesterday-” until it hit me that I already was nailed to a state, the one I was trying to let die. the one that was home to my “circumstances”. the way I saw myself, saw my life, the thoughts running through my head, the plans I had for myself, the way I felt about my reality was all a perfect match for the state I didn’t want. and it was at that moment where I really felt the realization hit me. yk, the 3D can feel so real at times with all of its five senses and stuff that sometimes, I forget it’s a state. and I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to completely bask in a state, so to have realized that I’ve already been capable of doing that— that I’ve already been doing that, was just so…eye opening? and it kinda answers my annoyance, I was wondering why I still felt so worried when the truth was, how was I supposed to ever feel something else if that was the state I was so aligned with? I saw an example on another tumblr post— I’ll link it here —that said how someone wealthy like Elon Musk was used to being in the state of being rich, so it would be hard for him to fall into a state of poverty. I am so used to this state— the anxiousness, the incapability, the not being satisfied —that I merely fell into the sowf, and then climbed out of it. and because I quickly stopped identifying with it, because I went from having it to worrying about the things of my unwanted state, I was back in my unwanted state. and ofc, the thing that started this whole realization, I was thinking about things and my desired self. I was thinking about how I embodies my desired self yesterday and how that felt so… like, far away? ig? like it felt like it could never be me and I was surprised that I felt like I could ever be anything other than what I am now. and that’s actually the moment when I realize I had nailed myself to this state. now, thank god for this realization because it was just what I needed to snap me out of this cycle of worry. this means two things, 1. nailing yourself to a state is way less complicated than it sounds, it’s totally natural and 2. I am capable of completely embodying a state— u might be thinking, yeah no kidding we all can, but sometimes u just have to feel something in order to truly know it and that’s my case —and if I can do it with my unwanted state then I can sure as hell do it with my desired state. because what’s the difference? actually, I’ll tell you what the difference is. all states are equal, they’re neutral, nothing but a state. but I unknowingly decided to place one on a pedestal, I decided that because I wanted my desired state I would be harder to embody. but it’s just a state. and I’m reality, I’m imagination, I can make whatever I want come to life, whether the state seems desirable or not. that’s just how it goes, all states are available for me to occupy and then manifest. and I need to understand that, I need to get it in my head that happiness isn’t above me, that it should be natural and normal for me to have— tumblrs telling me that this is getting too long so this’ll be continued in another post #yappertron3000 🤓 (click here to read part two)

kisses, Tiffany

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 05 ︴APRIL 30, 2024

dear loass diary…

though April has treated me well, reflecting on the month led to an accidental reflection on my loass journey. as I was reflecting on this month, I was a little down because “it didn’t reflect in the 3D”. I know, seeking confirmation in the 3D is stupid but ofc I felt a little deflated. Anyways, that’s not what made me open up tumblr and start typing an entry. I remembered that thoughts are reflections of ur state and my thoughts were all anxious and worried and intimidated in regards to my desire. Stuff like “omg aprils already over and it still hasn’t manifested.” that’s a clear indicator that I’m not 🙅‍♀️🚫 in the sowf like I thought I was. I think often times I take me intending on being in the sowf as me actually being in the sowf. But there’s a difference, it’s either ur in the sowf or ur not. And after that realization, at first I was like “this sucks, why can’t I just be in the sowf? Why is it so hard for me?” I don’t blame myself for thinking that, it felt like I was more out of the sowf then I was in it. But then I started to actually ask myself, why can’t I be in the sowf? What’s stopping me? Nothing but me. Whenever I think “ugh other ppl become fulfilled so easily why is it so hard for me?!!” I never expand on it. I never actually think about it, and if I had, I would’ve realized it’s not hard. I just wasn’t letting myself, it was more familiar and comfortable to just be hung up on the fact that I can’t get into the sowf “correctly”, which just comes from how I think that I can’t manifest deep deep down. anywaysss, another thing is that I’m so obsessed with being in the sowf but not for a good reason. Though I don’t like to admit it because it goes against the law and my understanding of it, I am unfortunately and seemingly unconsciously obsessed with getting what I want in the 3D. Is it because I’ve been in the loa community for so long? Is it desperation? Or is it because the inner man is starving? Who knows, all I know is that I need to change my intentions. Even when I tell myself the 3D doesn’t matter, I do it to detach for the sole purpose of making my manifestation coming faster in the 3D. I just know all the loa bloggers would be sick of me bro, I would be too ‼️‼️🗣️🗣️ cuz this is just stupid. The innate desire to experience things in the 3D has yet to be replaced by the satisfaction and relief of imagination. I think it’s cuz I just don’t imagine as much as I think I should. I want to start imagining more, so the inner man won’t starve and I can actually identify with having what I want. And not just to get things, but so I don’t have to feel bad about the 3D. This time I want to detach myself from the 3D not to make things come faster but so I can actually thrive in imagination. I think I’m tricking myself. I think that part of me is fooled into thinking that when I imagine I’m secretly doing it for the 3d. But the part of me with a better understanding of the law, a smaller but growing part, knows that I’m imagining so I can actually experience what I want to experience. Idk, I can’t shake the feeling like I’m lying to myself. Like when I say I’m doing it for fulfillment I’m actually doing it for the 3D, I don’t mean it like that but for some reason I think it. But I need to realize that it is possible for me to do things without the purpose being the 3D. I also realize that no matter how much I cry beg scream plead or whatever the 3D isn’t changing because I’m not the one physically changing it. The only, ONLY, way is for me to change self. So why can’t I do that without worrying about the 3d????? I hate that I’m not having a full circle moment rn.

I’m asking myself why do I get so upset when the 3D doesn’t change, and the answer is because I’m changing self with the intention of changing the 3D. And in that way, I’m not changing self at all. So howwwww do I stop obsessing over the 3D? I think this is just coming from me “failing” at manifesting and never seeing an actual desire manifest into the 3D, so I feel kinda helpless. But if I want to experience it, I don’t need the 3D for that. And that is what imagination is for, giving yourself what the 3D can’t. And if u persist in that imaginal identity, if u keep saying “that is me” in regards to it, the 3D changes because you’ve changed. Because why should u let go of the identity u love? Why not persist in it?

Yooooooo everything just clicked for me let’s goooooo bro

okay I lowkey sound like I’m tweaking here 😭😭 this is more of a rant, that’s why it’s unorganized and has a ton of spelling errors but at least I was able to apply my knowledge and soothe my worries 😜

long story short, safe to say I’m no longer questioning the role of the 3D and imagination

kisses, peachkkuma

(just looked back at this and GOOD GRIEF this is long I gotta take it to a publisher or something god 😭😭 chatterbox ahh tumblr post)

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 07 ︴MAY 15, 2024

dear loass diary…

I just fully realized that I’ve been doing this like five minutes ago, so I had to write it here to get my thoughts out, make sure I don’t forget my realization, and hopefully have an epiphany.

So, context first. I’m sick rn and I remembered a specific part of one of Neville’s lectures where he said something along the lines of how a sick man wanted to be healthy so all he did was focus on being healthy. (semi-unrelated note to future self: Notice how I put “ALL HE DID” as in, that was the only thing he did? That’s because that’s the only thing he needs to do!! it’s all about having genuine awareness of obtaining your desires, stop over complicating it and trying to make excuses when u know damn well that’s all there is to the law). After remembering that I was like, “yo why don’t I try that” because why would I want to be sick?? So anyways I was like trying (emphasis on the trying) to imagine myself as my healthiest self and only be aware of being healthy. After two minutes of that, I decided to call it quits and thought to myself “hope it works.” GIRL WHATTT?? That’s my problem right there, I’m pretending even in my own imagination. I think I have myself fooled, that I’ve deceived myself into thinking that I believe I have what I want in imagination when I DONT. Right after my so called imagining I literally had the thoughts of a person who was sick, was aware and focused on my illness, and just overall identified as someone who caught a cold. and then, that’s when the common sense hit me and I was like “wait, who do I think I’m fooling?” It’s like I thought just because these circumstances exist in the 3D doesn’t mean they can’t also be in my imagination. It fr is like i see the 3D and 4D as something separate when that’s not at all the case. Because those thoughts of me being sick? That was a state, the was who I was in imagination. Who I am in imagination. Life truly is imagination. And I rlly feel that now. So, future me, let me try to help u out by telling u how to actually get into ur desired state and maintain it:

1. Decide u have it

“I have xyz” BOOM ur done, it’s done, because creation is finished. There is nothing to create in the 3D or the 4D, it already exists exactly the way u want it to, waiting for you. So act like it.

2. State ≠ instant gratification

I’m gonna hold ur hand while I say this, states aren’t here to be a relief or a distraction. They’re not meant to temporarily ease any anxiety u have. So stop treating the sowf as a temporary escape from the 3D, it’s real. and if u keep up this bad habit, if u start seeing the sowf as just a way to shut up ur worries without actually knowing it’ll come to pass, then you’re on a dangerous road that leads to believing the 3D is the real reality. And yk that it’s not.

3. Actually maintaining a state

U r meant to see the world from the perspective of ur desired self, the u that has it all. Why do u think it’s called the law of assumption girly? U gotta assume u already got it. My thing is, I have too much going on in my real life and I think “I don’t have time to be in the sowf I have too much on my mind.” That’s a problem because one, ur allowed to be a part of the 3D. U don’t have to pretend it doesn’t exist. And two, I’m identifying with the 3D and it’s circumstances. News flash, the 3D doesn’t just disappear the moment u say an affirmation or visualize a scene, u still have responsibilities. The trick is knowing that’s not u. U don’t have to be thinking like ur desired self 100% of the time so don’t expect urself too. Deal with ur stuff, but know who u actually are, who YOU chose to be. To maintain ur state, do whatever helps u feel like ur the u want to be. Revise ur day before bed, think the thoughts ur desired self would think, but don’t force anything. Forcing urself just means u feel like u don’t have what u want, and so ur desperate to get it, if u feel like u don’t have it, don’t force a method. Instead remind urself that it’s already done, it’s been done.u already decided that u had it, nothing can erase that decision except for u.

4. Getting used to it

Everytime I think of ur desired self remember that THAT IS U!! Not someone u could be or will be soon, BUT YOU RN. If u don’t feel that way, it’s because u identify with the 3D and ur past assumptions of urself, and we already discussed how that’s a huuuuuuggggeeeee no. Don’t force urself into getting used to it because, again, force means wanting to get something out of the 3D. But that’s not the real reality, so why want something from there when u can have what u want rn? Remember that ur imagination, ur awareness, ur consciousness, whatever u wanna call it won’t lie to u. It’s the most accurate reflection of both u and ur life. What u experience in there is ur real reality, whether that be the one u want or not. So girl, get used to being who u want to be. It’ll feel so weird at first, uncomfortable rlly. Cuz ik myself, the only way I’ll get in the state is if I keep myself in check. (going on a mental diet is okay if ur not doing it for the 3D, future self.)I’ll probably just be asking myself 24/7 “would my desired self think/react/feel like that?” And honestly, that’ll probably be the only way I’ll learn. Once u start correcting urself, for the sake of wanting to be ur desired self, it’ll come naturally. Both the habit of being in the state and ur manifestations

The law wasn’t mean to be tricky, how could it be when it’s literally called the law of assumption? There rlly isn’t much to it except assuming u have what u want by helping urself believe u have what u want, so stop trying to think there’s more to it— that it’s not that simple or easy. Ur wasting ur time with everything else, the overthinking, the wondering about the when and how, the over complicating, and the wondering if u did it right. Just be.

kisses, peachkkuma

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 04 ︴APRIL 26, 2024

dear loass diary…

I’ve definitely fallen victim to instant gratification in regards to manifestation. In fact (☝️🤓) I think it’s why I struggled with the law for so long. I had a desire and I used methods to satisfy myself in the moment, just to get my doubts to shut up. when the gratification wore off, I went back to doubting because I thought my progress “wore off”. I thought that gratification was what I was supposed to feel all the time, and if I didn’t feel it, it meant I wasn’t in the sowf. But that’s obviously not true. Sowf means knowing it’s yours, the only satisfaction involved is knowing it’s yours. it’s not meant to be an emotional thing. I don’t have to feel “happy” or “relieved” all the time, I don’t have to feel that way to know I have it, to be in the sowf. Methods should be used when u want to feel good, not to shut up doubts. Not because you feel like u have to get something. Manifestation shouldn’t make u feel restless, ur supposed relax knowing that there’s nothing left to do because creation has been finished. I think I just need to remind myself that I know how the law works, all that is needed is me to have loyalty to the fact that I have what I want. I don’t need to constantly do methods, that’s never what this was about, that’s not how you’ll fulfill yourself. Fulfillment isn’t this big euphoric thing either. Don’t confuse fulfillment and the sowf with instant gratification.

kisses, peachkkuma

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 03 ︴APRIL 21, 2024

dear loass diary…

I haven’t made an entry in three weeks because right after my last one, I decided to delete tumblr and rlly focus. and I got into the sowf and rlly felt the effects of no longer over consuming. I’ve decided to end my streak tho, due to the fact I’m only in the sowf 10% of the time. oh well, progress is progress.

my main loa struggle today has been other peoples assumptions, other peoples realities that are being and have been pushed onto me. because when someone’s worried about you, and you’re trying to manifest your problem to be solved, you can’t do much to reassure them everything’s fine. and then you worry about them. what a horrible cycle. it’s crazy how that works, how someone else’s reality becomes yours for a bit, and there’s a small moment where you actually believe their reality is yours. but it’s not, so I came back here to ground myself. Ideally, I would’ve liked to do that without the help of tumblr, but writing it out feels good and I’d like to catch up on some posts.

kisses, peachkkuma

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 10︴MAY 22, 2024

dear loass diary…

just came to the realization… actually I don’t think that’s the right word because I think I knew this before, it only just sunk in now. Anyways, there is absolutely no reason for me to want or desire something anymore. It’s literally all within me, if I want something I can give it to myself like that (apple pls make a snapping fingers emoji). and one big problem I have is I get stuck in a cycle. I’ll be demotivated or feel sad about my circumstances and not having what I want —> which leads me to writing about it here —> which leads to me feeling better and realizing how silly I sound —> which leads to me saying I’m gonna fr cut the crap and start manifest now—> and then it repeats. But girllllllll why do I do this to myself, there’s no reason to want!! there’s no reason to desire!! why do I pretend like there is!!! I need to grab myself by the shoulders and give myself a good shake. Because like u already have it like fr… so why r u acting like u don’t????? There’s nothing to tap into, it’s already u!!

kisses, Tiffany

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 08 ︴MAY 18, 2024

dear loass diary…

I’d say I’m pretty close to the end of my manifestation journey knowledge wise, Id say there’s very little I haven’t learned. The only thing there is is for me to then guide myself and not rely on the knowledge of others, which I’ve been pretty good at lately. Which means there’s literally no excuse, I know how the law works and I’m confident that I know how the law works. So why am I not manifesting what I want? I feel like there’s this resistance. I’ve figured things out and set things straight, there’s no confusions anymore. So why can’t I actually apply my knowledge? Especially when I was most excited to have my desires around this time of year? I’ve been wondering that these past couple of days after I caught on to my resistance to even begin the manifestation “process” and I think that right there is a reason all on its own. I see manifestation as a processes for some reason even though I understand that it’s not. We’re not manifesting or creating anything new, we’re just becoming different versions of ourselves. It’s not a process since we embody those versions instantly. So why do I see it as something tiresome, why do I see it as pretending, as unnatural? Its like part of me thinks happiness is beyond me (or behind me, is more accurate) so to embody a version of me that is incredibly happy would be nothing but pretending. I think I’m too used to being this down in the dumps kinda person, to the point where it’s holding me back from being something more, something I want to be. It feels weird to be like “haha everything is perfect” and then not have feelings, real and genuine feelings, to match that. But I rlly don’t know how to embody it, I can explain it on paper but enacting it is something different. Maybe I’m just not used to it? Maybe I’m coming at it from a way that stems from desperation and force? I mean to be fair, whenever I felt like I wanted to become my desired self it was always when I was desperate to know if things were going to be okay so I’d force it. Another idea that crossed my mind was maybe it’s burn out? I mean I’d been actively consuming the law for almost 3 years and as my knowledge has grown, I’ve been learning everything and anything 24/7 for the past 9 months. My knowledge has grown and become stronger, stronger than its ever been but maybe now I’m just so tired. I’m tired of constantly feeling like I don’t have something and I need to get something, and those feelings have been tied to manifestation. Literally the other day I was like “ugh I know I need it and that I wanted it but like I kinda want nothing to do with it rn” in regards to my dream life I’ve been manifesting. My life has been constantly revolving around manifestation, what I lacked, and what I wanted and now that I know I’m near the end, that I can basically taste the finish line, I’ve burnt out. I don’t want anything anymore. I just want to feel like things are okay, in imagination, in the 3D. I don’t want a “mental diet” or to visualize anymore, I don’t want to keep reminding myself to see things from the eyes of my desired self. Maybe the thing I actually need to learn is how to let those things come naturally, how to not feel stressed out or desperate when manifesting. And I suppose I could jist decide that it’s easy, that I’ve already become the desire version of myself. I just feel like It’s all a chore rn. Even tho manifestation is supposed to be enjoyable. Someone make a wikihow for how to recover from manifestation burn out.

kisses, peachkkuma

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 12.5︴JUNE 5, 2024

dear loass diary…

tumblr cut me off so this is actually a second part to an already existing diary entry. pls pls pls read the first part before this one (click here to read).

— andddd that brings me to yet another point (the yapping isn’t over yet y’all), I am the god of my reality. let that sink in, the sole creator. and I’m thinking so so so SO small. literally, go look at my list of desires on a previous tumblr post and you’ll see I’m not asking for anything out of the ordinary, my dreams aren’t big in the slightest. yet I feel like I’m asking for so much?? ppl are manifesting ginormous mansions, private islands, stardom, supernatural abilities, bringing ppl back from the dead, and all the wealth you could ever imagine and I think a normal life is reaching too high?😭 I’m not sure what this is, maybe it’s my self concept? but it’s definitely the biggest and dare I say the only actual “obstacle” in my road. I need to rlly get it in my head that this is nothing, and that I can actually achieve so much more.

note to future self: you’re the god, so it’s not possible for a single desire to be unattainable or above you. and desires, regardless if it’s a new pair of shoes or becoming royalty, are all the same. you’re the one that places the value on them, you’re the one that says one is “bigger” than the other, at the end of the day they’re all just things you want. and they’re all attainable. it IS possible for you to be what you want, the fact that you want it is proof that you can conceptualize it, which is cold hard evidence that you can have it, be it.

sometimes I get a little tired of this though. how many times do I have to go through this cycle of feeling worried and then realizing I have nothing to worry about? why can’t I break the cycle? it’s like I have to remind myself sooooo often about the same old things. when will I not need reassurance anymore? but maybe I should have a little more grace for myself. even if I’m confident in my knowledge of the law and even if we’ve been through this before, I am both god and human. and so doubt and dread come natural to me. and who doesn’t need a reminder every once in a while? who doesn’t lose sight of the goal occasionally? maybe me being anxious isn’t the problem and maybe I should stop treating it like it is a problem. because if I go back to what I know at the end of the day, isn’t that what matters? I shouldn’t beat myself up for being worried, because if I was my desired self would I even care that I was? I wouldn’t. sure doubts don’t feel nice, but they don’t get rid of my desires or “progress” unless I decide they do. they don’t do or mean anything unless I decide that they do. okay, I’m getting tired of writing now and I’m trying to quit thinking about manifestation and instead spend that time actually manifesting so, see ya soon!!

kisses, Tiffany

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 11︴MAY 31, 2024

hey yall, here’s a diary entry I forgot to post😭😭 it’s a bit unorganized and I switch povs at some parts?? Like I go from writing in my little tumblr diary and using I, me, my and then I somehow forgot all that and started yelling at my future self 😭😭😭 enjoy and just, reader beware, I didn’t reread this so if this is completely incomprehensible my bad 🤷‍♀️

dear loass diary…

okay first, from now on, I’m only going to use the term “real world” in reference to imagination. I feel like for me, that term is too synonymous with the 3D, and that’s just stupid because the 3D isn’t even the real world. I mean, ig it’s because so many ppl talk about growing up and going into the “real world” or how ppl talk about how the “real world” is a cruel place and all that so ig that’s where the association comes from but no more!!

i have a horrible habit of doing this, when things start to get a bit tough and I’m in a stressful situation, at first I think “it’s okay I have xyz already solved and taken care of in imagination!!” but naturally, tough times bring out the most desperate parts of ourselves and that desperation leads me to brush off my imagination and think “okay but that’s not actually my real life.” which, I don’t even think I have to explain how bad that is. hard times help us see our true emotions and feelings so that just shows that I only identify with imagination when things are easy. it’s like I think that imagination can fail me, that it’s possible that trusting it was the wrong choice. because that’s what this is really all about, I can’t identify with it because I’m scared to trust it. part of me fears that if I turn my back on the 3D, imagination may not reward me and my life will be an even bigger mess because I neglected it for the 4D. but that can’t happen unless I let it. manifestation doesn’t require a back up plan, it’s the solution. the law of assumption is a literal law, no one and nothing is an exception. that makes failure impossible (which ig means fearing failure is kinda silly now that I think about it). and even if I’m not entirely certain or still a bit scared, today I’ve realized that I finally want to put a stop to not identifying with imagination. I really wanna give my all to imagination. I’m so sick of identifying with the 3D and I’m finally ready to acknowledge how truly stupid that is. I wanna be faced with adversity and still know and love the fact that everything is done in imagination. I want to actually view myself as my desired self. I want to view every aspect of my life as the way it is in imagination. whenever I think of anything, I want the version of it in imagination to be the first thing I’m reminded of. it’s okay to identify with imagination, it’s okay to accept that it’s the real world, it’s okay if the 3D is an absolute disaster and you still trust imagination. putting so much faith in imagination is going to be scary because look at the world we were raised in, the law of assumption goes against all of it. it’s only natural to be uncertain at first but taking the leap of faith requires bravery, be brave by trusting and identifying imagination.

kisses, Tiffany

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 09︴MAY 20, 2024

dear loass diary..

I’m not sure why, but I have a belief that goes against my better judgment. I know that there is no way to fail at the law, “failure” is just persisting in the assumption you don’t want. There is no way to truly fail because we’re always manifesting, always persisting in an assumption, the only way to not get what u want is to choose it. And I firmly believe in that, it makes a lot of sense to me. So WHY is it that literallt the second I have the intention to manifest something, i fear failure. Why does a small part of me believe I’m not going to get what I want? I think that maybe I’m not doubting that I’ll be get what I want— i mean, I’ve never really had a big successful manifestation before so maybe I’ve put success on a pedestal but that can easily be fixed…i hope —i think I’m doubting myself. Not in a way where I think my manifestation abilities are inferior, but because of past and fairly recent experiences. I’m double minded, i never stick to my assumptions, I’ve never fully embodied a state, and okay as I’m writing this all I can’t help but think “what am I doing” because this is all so simple like why am I freaking out. Sure I’ve never been able to successfully stay loyal to an assumption but that doesn’t mean it’s hard. I always hesitate to manifest because I’m so tired of how much i lack discipline but is that what I wanna let stop me? It’s not like it’s permanent, it’s fixable. Just because I don’t believe in my ability to put my foot down and take the leap of faith doesn’t mean I can’t. Excuse the corniness but my past doesn’t define me, change is allowed to happen if I let it. So I should expect more from myself. I should expect better from myself. Y’all having a manifestation diary is great I just did a total 180 by simply typing my thoughts out I love it here.

anyways, just like my assumptions I also chose my conception of self. I hadn’t even realized I was persisting in the assumption that I couldn’t do it. Idk why I saw that as such a fact. Anyways, here it is in writing, I’m putting my foot down. Im actually going to do my best to manifest my dream life and manifest correctly. Putting my foot down is a decision and only I can defer that decision, only I can get rid of that choice. I’m the only one that gets to chose failure or success. So what reason do I have to not take the leap of faith?

I’m going to actually do it

kisses, Tiffany

(Just watch yall, soon my diary entries will be full of stories from me living my dream life)

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 02 ︴APRIL 2, 2024

dear loass diary…

My main struggle 1000% is the sowf. I feel like once I’m in the state, I’ll feel relief like I’ve never felt before. I’m expecting something euphoric. But I know that is not the case, I always have. The sowf is about knowing. I just feel let down when a positive impact isn’t made on my emotions, even tho it’s not about emotions. I think what I’m looking for is “love”. To fall in love with a state, to feel relief and joy. But, I haven’t found a way to give that to myself yet. It feels like I don’t even know where to begin. I’d love to give myself an experience, a state, that I both believe in and makes me feel good. But I truly don’t know how I’d do that? What would I imagine? Maybe I need to actually sit with that question for a bit instead of just throwing it out there…

I also feel like when I’m confident, when I experience the knowing, it’s barely ever about knowing I have it. It’s often times knowing it’s going to come or will come. Never really present. My state, the state I identify with whether I want to or not, the one that I’ve nailed myself to, is one of uncertainty and a sort of emptiness. Im always certain that I haven’t done enough, even tho I know the law doesn’t work like that. It’s not about constant repetition or effort. So why do I feel that way? It’s not like I constantly want to affirm or visualize or work for my desires through any way or form but at the same time, doing these methods kind of fulfill me. But not in the way they should. Instead, they make me feel like I’ve done something to make it come. Not make me feel like I have it now and am one with it.

So, the main question: why do I feel like I can’t I identify with the sowf? I think I feel like it’s just not possible because i feel the same emotionally. But I am capable of identifying with a state. I am rn. And i need to stop forgetting that. Because at the end of the day this isn’t anything but a state. It’s not reality, it’s not the 3D, it’s a state. I’m glad I got that in my head but I seem to forget it when it’s important.

Im getting to tired to write but I’m definitely going to reflect on my state and my desires state after this. Lord free me from my problems with states😭😭

kisses, peachkkuma

[peachkkuma]

rip old theme ‼️🙏 03/08/24-05/18/24

[peachkkuma]

𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 ˖ ࣪ ✧ ˚ ࿔

𝑻𝑰𝑭𝑭𝑨𝑵𝒀’𝑺 SIGNING OFF : last tumblr post 07.15.24

𝑶𝑳𝑫 𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑫 𝑷𝑶𝑺𝑻 : ꒰ 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 ꒱

╰─▸ dark mode recommended

• explanation + goodbye post

⠀˒ ⊹ ݁ ִ   𝑫𝑬𝑨𝑹 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹…

hello, hope you’re doing well! i’ll get right into it, this is the end of my posts for now. i never really had any sort of big idea or expectations for this blog but i definitely never thought it’d only last four months, or that it’d have so few posts (my drafts on the other hand are a different story lmao).

i had made this blog because i was struggling with the law and needed to get out of my head. im really big into journaling, it helped me get my thoughts in order and i wished i had something like that but for the law. something that would allow me to observe and work through my troubles with the loa. that’s when this blog was created, that’s why i had made this my loa diary.

this blog had given me a space to see where i was going wrong and allowed me to have my own epiphanies. but despite the fact that i made this blog and its posts for my own sake, i hope something here has helped, encouraged, or just gave you something to relate to.

im ending this blog for now because i don’t need it anymore. my last entry was a month ago and since then i have had my fair share of struggles and confusions but lately, its all been kind of…calm ig. i dont know how to explain but it all just makes sense? like, the law is the law, its not this never ending complex theory. it’s a universal law and all the information has already been laid out for me. all that’s left for me to do is to learn and apply. idk but i think I hadn’t realized that before. i always felt like as soon as i’d make sense of the law, i’d read another loa post and all of a sudden i was wrong. it felt like learning the law would be a never ending journey. that I’d never truly grasp it on my own. but I don’t feel that way anymore. I think that mainly has to do with me just being in this community for years, so ofc sooner or later I’d get the hang of it, but I also think that it has a lot to do with me cutting down my time on tumblr tremendously and focusing on Neville’s works.

so, yeah, there’s nothing for me to “figure out” anymore. i don’t need to read anymore loa advice posts and there’s nothing else i have to discuss about the law anymore. if you’re gonna take away one thing from this post— remember that the loa is simple. there’s no need to overcomplicate or overthink it.

for a while it felt like i was almost fighting the loa. i didn’t want to accept that it was as simple as it was. but the lesson I’ve learned now is that regardless of how i feel, the law will always be what it is. there’s no need to make it harder or overcomplicate it, dont distract yourself by doing that. if i could go back and give myself advice, i’d tell myself to accept the law for what it is because there’s no way around it. if you can’t do that then you might as well stop trying to use the law because what’s the point? 🤷‍♀️

tldr: I no longer have any need to be on loa tumblr so im signing off :)

even tho im happy the law isn’t hard for me anymore, im sad to be leaving this blog 😭😭 thank you for reading and goodbye!!

kisses, peachkkuma