#platonically romantically(?) emotionally and everything

[asteropewpew]

dearest shooting star 🌠

loving anaxagoras felt similar to the momentary awe whenever you spot a shooting star. that quick, brilliant flash of light streaking across the midnight sky, so vivid and arrogantly defiant against the moon.

i shine brighter than you, it would say to the soft glow of the moonlight illuminating the late night. this shooting star was so bright that it seemingly cut a large swathe across like very definite sword strike, all the while burning up the rest of itself during the end of their cosmic journey. so look only at me.

"Your students looked quite... apoplectic." You look observed, tone filled with knowing amusement as you watched his students amble their way out of his classroom with varying expressions of frustration. Or in some cases, with a look of absolute vengeance. "A lively morning earlier then, yes?"

Anaxagoras doesn't quite chuckle, but the small, involuntary huff as his lips curved slightly in smug glee gives away his current sentiment regarding his students. His form tilted slightly forward as he turned to face you, a pair of vivid seafoam eyes gleaming brightly with all the knowledge and intellect that captivated your attention like a treacherous lure.

It's both fortunate and unfortunate (for your heart), that your own class ends at just around the time that his class ends—with the bell tolling overhead to signal the students to do a self-study session (or exchange shared moments of misery) at numerous amphitheaters or at the central library of the Grove.

"As always, our class ended with another debate."

"About the gods, Professor?"

"Naturally." Given his rather vocal stance as a blasphemer, it was no surprise that his students had seen fit to challenge him to yet another debate. More likely in hopes to humble him rather than commit to any intellectual exchange, you mused. "And as always, they are infuriated whenever I poke out the holes in their arguments."

"Their collective spite would end up with you getting killed one day, you know?" A lie. For as notorious as Anaxagoras had been in criticizing the actions of the Flame-Chase Journey right alongside, his students had somehow decided that he was deserving of their gifts and...other knick knacks that you were most definitely sure were priceless antiques.

Poor Hyacine who's been given more work by the rising mess around his office, no doubt. Although Anaxagoras' new student named Phainon had been mentioned as some sort of precious antique collector and appraiser, which made organizing things much easier, if any.

"If they commit as much dedication to verbally eviscerate me on court trials and debates, they should focus it on their thesis proposals." The sneer in his face made your lips quirk into a smile.

"You should really stop goading your cute little students, Professor Anaxagoras."

He opened his mouth, likely retorting his favorite correction before realization caught his would-be misstep. The small "tch" made your smile widen even as he shot you a warning glare, not missing your clear attempt at throwing him off despite following his numerous insistence regarding the matter with his name. "Telling me how to handle my students now, Professor?"

It should feel criminal how your name comes out of his mouth in a slow, lilting drawl. Almost indulging, if you were to entertain your own fanciful whispers.

"Just a word of advice as a fellow lecturer." But his unimpressed look told you as much about just how convincing your excuse is.

loving anaxagoras felt like loving a shooting star. there is joy in catching that moment of fleeting beauty across the sky, knowing that it would forever be different from any other shooting stars in the world. but like all things, even shooting stars are unforgiving towards their admirers.

they were utterly beautiful in their destruction, the broken fragments carrying with it such a devastating power that perhaps a part of you would break in return; echoing the shatter of a brilliant celestial body with your own hapless heart.

"What did you do?" You rushed to ask, voice trembling ever so slightly as you looked at the ragged exhaustion across Anaxagoras' face.

"Merely created something that puts us in equal standing with the gods." He sounded victorious, as if the price of his triumph wasn't riddled with blood and pain. Anaxagoras looked inappropriately disheveled, clothes rumpled and singed at some of the hems—pale blue hair clinging to his face that was full of grime and sweat and a few cuts here and there. "And I have succeeded in finally making it useable."

There are tremors in his hands, visible ones and you couldn't take your eyes away from the inflamed skin where the bright red of the Philosopher's stone adorned his right hand. Instantly, you feel the impossibly heavy weight of his trust in allowing you inside his personal alchemical laboratory.

There's a myriad of things that you could say to him, and yet all of it would make you nothing more than a hypocrite who allowed the one that you cherished most to completely ruin himself in pursuit of knowledge. All those years that had you faithfully shadowing him in his unquenchable thirst for answers, barely managing to reel him back just in time before he truly hurtled towards the deep end.

All those years of endless exasperation and countless debates as you hurried to catch up to him, all of it cultivated into biting back down a few choices of words directed at his dangerous recklessness. "Really? Treating yourself so poorly while you're in an experimental binge doesn't quite count as a logical course of action."

You hurriedly knelt down beside him as you brought out a roll of fresh bandages from your satchel, and he was mindful enough to not give you much grief as he obediently placed his trembling hands in your hands.

"Am I ever in danger with my own experiments?" His retort made you purse your lips as you carefully started tending to his wounds, a deep frown crossing your face for all that your hands remained gentle in treating his injuries.

The silence that followed, was a little stifled. Even with you, as immersed in your irritation and worries, didn't fail to notice the tension lining over his shoulders.

"This won't be the last." In the end, it was Anaxagoras who broke the silence, sounding a little gruff as he ducked his head to avoid your gaze. "I still need to find the answers to my new questions... far too many thing—"

"Be that as it may," you interrupted his halfhearted reasons with a pointed glare, "you are still expected to teach your own students instead of passing all them off to me every time you get possessed in doing your experiments!"

He tilted his head in consideration, as if only belatedly recalling that he had spent longer in his laboratory than he had expected.

"The brats should know better than compare you with me." The stupid, foolish, heretic scholar with one of the sharpest minds of today, missed your very non-subtle show of concern. Amazing. Truly a mind of the ages indeed. "And besides, you're the only one that wouldn't revise my lesson plan without consulting me first. Or make those impressionable students learn something that they shouldn't waste their time."

"No, I just want to get them off me because I'm tired of grading forty students every week on two different subjects."

"..." The foolish professor didn't even try to object, knowing better than to test your limits.

You also refrained from pointing out that his students have this weird tendency to debate with any professors that even dared to make them stray off his meticulous curriculum, for all that they are keen to put him through the wringer for at least once before they could graduate. "No personal laboratory time for at least a while."

"You can't possibly demand that of me."

The smile on your face dared him to argue any further than this. "I believe Hyacine would appreciate being notified of your... occupational injuries."

There's another beat of silence, but it was a little easier this time. Familiar.

Although your worries still made your chest grow tight, his disgruntled look soothed something within you as he obediently tilted his head up for you to dab at the small cuts and abrasions across his face.

Even more, the victory was sweeter when Anaxagoras eventually grumbled in defeat.

loving anaxagoras felt a little like condemning yourself to watching the fleeting destruction of a shooting star. you, a criminal who was sentenced to chase and watch the one that you loved the most, meet his own end with the most joyous laugh that you've heard from him.

anaxagoras who would completely burn up himself upon reaching the zenith of his journey, content in defying the tranquility of the evening night in a blaze of brilliant light. the false sky, as he had claimed, with eyes sparkling like the simulated constellations in the astronomy laboratory where alchemy fabricates a sky without the threat of aquila's temperamental gaze.

how you wanted, to valiantly preserve that shine without losing the brilliance that belonged to anaxagoras and his endless curiosity. except he was the kind of person who was never meant to be caged, confined and conforming to conventional ideas.

because he was always and foremost, meant to be free.

(and you could only hope that he can come back to you from time to time, if his time permits it; which was a factor that was slowly getting dwindling with each passing day.)

...Perhaps you'd have known it then, that he wouldn't simply just stop at embedding a Philosopher's stone in his right hand. That nothing could truly ever satiate his thirst in finding out the intricacies wrapped around Amphoreus and the ever-enduring Flame-Chase journey.

That he would embody your most favorite celestial body in all its vivid, and gut-wrenching beauty like this.

"Anaxa—are you crazy?!"

You saw him, slumped over the pillars of the central table while the contents in his personal laboratory which looked as if a veritable storm had swept upon it. Potions and vials lay shattered all over the ground, his alchemical gun lying innocuously beside him while numerous papers full of almost unrecognizable scrawls were scattered on the floor.

For a brief, frightening moment, you feared the worst.

"My name...is Anaxa...goras," he rasped after a moment, lone eye a little dull and unfocused as he struggled to recollect his thoughts when you rushed over to him. "Do not...call me Anaxa."

"And very soon, those words will be your last words if you don't get to the Courtyard as fast you can!" Panic was laced in your voice as you tried to check whether he had any debilitating injuries that require a mad dash to the Courtyard.

(Thin. He's thinner again.)

"This is a...culmination of my life's research and a milestone...regarding my capabilities," he argued, wheezing as he bared his teeth in an attempt to hide his pain when he tried to shift his position as you carefully prodded at his form.

"Which would be utterly useless if you don't make a patent of it while you're still alive," you snapped, finally letting out a breath when your preliminary search yielded nothing but a couple of bruises and symptoms of dehydration alongside exhaustion. "Have you truly decided to throw your life away like the foolish blasphemer that you are?"

Ever since he came back from that one conversation with Empedocles after he'd lost his eye, you know that he was a little different.

Sharper perhaps, much more intense as he had been before. Yet he looked perpetually weary, for all that his back stood tall and unwavering while handing out criticisms and advice for his students and fellow scholars.

As if he was always desperately running towards something that remained just out of reach.

"Why...do you care anyway? You're always so...meddlesome." The question made your heart grow still. It felt like being in the middle of Aidonia's harshest snowstorm, the wind howling at your foolishness for daring to even hope. "Don't you understand...why I must...do this?"

He is so thoughtlessly cruel at times, your dearest shooting star.

"I can't accept that what you're doing is so important that you would throw away your entire life for it." You didn't beg, but all of your emotions saturated each and every word. "Please, just take a break, Anaxagoras. There is time. You have time."

"Nothing is more important than seeing the Truth...of the false sky." His voice was hoarse, yet unwavering with the weight of his own conviction and obsessive desire. "And proving that...the Flame-Chase journey is not so linear in its approach. Everything else...was just an afterthought."

"Perhaps I had thought too highly of our time spent together." It hurt, when you could sense nothing but the genuine truth laced in his words. He's definitely suffered some sort of altered mental status right now, but it did little to lessen the sting. "And that my effort towards a dear colleague and companion, was nothing more than a show of charity in your eyes."

Anaxagoras didn't speak, nor did he even need to, as he had finally passed out in abject exhaustion and pain-filled sleep.

(Perhaps it was the best, that he couldn't hear the bitter disappointment in your voice.)

You allowed yourself a look, a last glance, feeling like you've swallowed knives with each indication of self-neglect over his form. His clothes were bigger than it should be on him, not to the point of fright but enough just to indicate how much he's foregone sustenance at least multiple times. Likewise, there's a clear expression of exhaustion in his face. His clothes were disheveled, likely from his latest stunt more than an unconscious habit—but he looked utterly... small in that moment.

It would be easy to hate him. To rage and hate his foolishness, the ease in how he discarded his own present in favor of crafting a future that he had decided that was not his to see. The sheer hypocrisy by how passionate he was in insisting the sanctity of life and autonomy over "misguided notions" of honor and obligation, when each of his choices had contributed to his eventual ruin.

But you couldn't.

Despite all your frustrations and concerns, you never would be able to hate him for as much as you cherish him.

You know you were not so important as to be able to anchor his feet, but you can't help but wish you were.

loving anaxa meant suffering from daring to attempt that you could handle the intensity of a shooting star. it's like being a moth drawn to his vibrant flame, helplessly oblivious to the eventual agony of being burned alive.

you loved still loved your shooting star who had captivated your attention so tightly, before he spirited your heart away from your hands without any intention of returning it. nor even trying to take care of it.

anaxagoras was a great many things, but he was also utterly oblivious at the best of times. you should have created a boundary with him early on, to rein in your feelings as soon as your traitorous heart thundered at the sight of his bright, satisfied smile.

(but you didn't. and equally hurt and filled you with humility for every time you could see a part of anaxa that perhaps few or rather, none had ever been privy to see it.)

your blasphemer was always meant for great things, regardless if he would be scorned or admired for his actions.

and you could only watch and try to help him when he has burned himself too early in his journey towards searching for the truth of this world.

the astronomy laboratory was one of your favorite ventures, and you keep to your silence even as the door opened to welcome the familiar clack of footsteps coming towards the center of the laboratory.

"...I didn't know that there's someone using the astronomy laboratory."

"It's occupied." your voice was clipped, sparing only the barest words as you didn't bother to turn around and acknowledge the illustrious anaxagoras. there was a brief pause, before you heard a rustling sound as he carefully sat down beside you.

ever since that day, when you had rushed anaxagoras into the courtyard after he had collapsed, you decided to keep your distance. a futile attempt at drawing a boundary when you've already reached a point in no return, but you held strong even when hyacine had cautiously asked if you would like to visit him even just once.

it was more for your sake than his, and you were confident that he wouldn't even notice—for all that he's dedicated his focus and attention to his dogged pursuit of the truth.

"You weren't present to the general meeting with all the Professors." it took everything in you not to flinch when you felt the weight of his gaze on the side of your face.

"I was busy." you were very much grateful that the darkness hid much of your expression as you drew your knees close to yourself.

"Busy with what?" he probed, because he never did have a sense of self-restraint when it comes to satiating his curiosity. "Hyacine told me that you asked to be relieved of another class to handle. And that you also applied for a...sabbatical leave."

the latter sentence echoed his mystified confusion, the notion of a vacation apparently being a foreign one to the foolish scholar.

"I'm accompanying Hyacine and Phainon on their usual visit back to Okhema." there, that should be enough to get him off your back and leave.

except it doesn't.

"You've never shown any interest in leaving the Grove for that holy city." it was evident how poorly he had regarded the capital with the eternal light, and you've heard his sentiments regarding a certain chrysos heir residing in the city often enough to understand his position.

but you didn't care much for that.

what pricked at your still smarting heart was—

"I don't need to report to you nor justify any of my actions to you for anything, Professor Anaxagoras." you replied, voice chillingly cold and void of your hurt as much as you can. "As you have made yourself quite clear on my interference to your pursuit of knowledge."

There was another pause, the fabric of his coat rustling as he abruptly moved closer to you.

"That day when you rushed me into the courtyard," his voice was faintly urgent, promptly you to finally give a glance at his pinched expression with a carefully distant look. except the faint unease within his piercing eyes made your traitorous heart flutter once again. "Did I say anything?"

this close, you could see that hyacine's work had lessened the exhaustion and overall gauntness of the scholar's face. despite you still childishly holding on to your anger, you felt a tension within you finally relax.

"Nothing but the truth, Professor." it was maddening, how your anger was quietly doused by seeing just how much he had recovered (even if you could still sense an air of weariness around him).

"That's not—" anaxagoras tsked, ever astute in deducing a hint from your response. "I said something."

you kept silent, because you refuse to be considered a puzzle where he would look for clues to satisfy his own questions. no, it would hurt you far too much if he treated what had happened as nothing more than a logical problem to be straightened out.

(it would be like holding out your still mending heart for him to destroy.)

"Whatever it was, it was enough for you to refuse a visit to me at the ward." the intensity in his gaze proved too much, and you ducked your head to look away from him. you saw his hand make an aborted move towards you, before it stopped and curled into a tight fist. "It happened when you caught me in my personal laboratory, and I was cognizant enough to respond but not enough to retain the memories of our brief interaction before you brought me to the Courtyard. You're angry. And I hurt you."

your foolish scholar had known nothing but the thorny path that would lead to his goals, and it was your own foolish decision to chase after him like a persistent shadow. in the end, everything can be traced back to your own decision to accompany him for so long—like that hapless moth who was drawn to the raging inferno that was anaxagoras the blasphemer.

you knew that he would change the world, at any and at all costs. even if the damning price was to ruin himself in the process.

"What did I say?" he asked again and... abruptly, you felt very tired.

forget it.

"It's alright," you murmured, finally looking up to give him a lopsided smile. don't worry, went unheard. "It was...my fault more than yours."

there was another pause again, before he spoke again.

"I am in need of a...companion for Hyacine to finally relinquish her watch on me." he said, stumbling over a particular word while you gave an inquiring hum.

you like to think that you know the undertone of his statement. don't go.

but you never truly left him, even in the height of your anger and hurt. hyacine would never fail to give you updates regarding his wellbeing and any additional expenses quietly paid for by you (under the guise of an anonymous benefactor), and combined with her stubbornness and the threat of making ika sit on his chest was enough for him to veer off from going back to his laboratory far too soon.

"...I can do that." it would be another story if you saw his main table and be reminded of how you initially saw him, but that was a thing for the future.

his shoulders slumping over slightly made a smile finally crack across your face, and he swiftly closed the remaining distance to rest his weight against yours.

"Good." and he sounded like he meant it.

you know that anaxagoras doesn't apologize for his actions, not because of pride but because he would not regret any of the actions that he had made. that each of his actions were driven with a purpose that would ultimately bring him closer to his goals.

when his hand carefully rested above yours after a while, the warmth spoke more than his clumsy attempts at making it for his apparent misstep. you gazed back upon the twinkling constellations, with the weight of anaxagoras' presence sitting close to your side.

your shooting star, if only for a moment, paused in his relentless pursuit to accompany you for the night.

it wasn't quite an apology, but it was more than enough.

(p.s. first time trying to do this so please tell me your thoughts? would you also want an anaxa pov to compliment this hehe)

[whamgram]

Me next season:

[thedemises]

Is this your pookie(s)? 😨

mhhmldkd hessm yeshhfkf :333

[muchmossymess]

Crying on the floor bc there aren't any greed/ling hanahaki disease fics

[calamitoustide]

moon chaser?

Remus x James! I'm in love with them.

[drlancaster]

I will never understand how people say I love you to people they're not super close with. Like I've been getting more comfortable with telling people I love them recently but like, this one person I'm friends with tells everybody they love them no matter how close they are and it just baffles me. Like even if I do love them I have a hard time saying it unless we're close and I know for a FACT they feel the same way. Like dude, HOW DO YOU DO THAT?? HOW DO YOU JUST SAY THAT OPENLY. He started saying it right when we first met too, I remember the first time it happened I was handing him something for the set we were building and he just goes, "thanks. Max, I love you," and I just stand there in shock for a minute cause I'm like, "did I just hear that right?" AND THERE WAS NO PRESSURE HE JUST SAID IT AND KEPT DOING WHAT HE WAS DOING I WAS SO SURPRISED HE WAS SO CASUAL ABOUT IT

[hyperlexichypatia]

As I keep shouting into the void, pathologizers love shifting discussion about material conditions into discussion about emotional states.

I rant approximately once a week about how the brain maturity myth transmuted “Young adults are too poor to move out of their parents’ homes or have children of their own” into “Young adults are too emotionally and neurologically immature to move out of their parents’ homes or have children of their own.”

I’ve also talked about the misuse of “enabling” and “trauma” and “dopamine” .

And this is a pattern – people coin terms and concepts to describe material problems, and pathologization culture shifts them to be about problems in the brain or psyche of the person experiencing them. Now we’re talking about neurochemicals, frontal lobes, and self-esteem instead of talking about wages, wealth distribution, and civil rights. Now we can say that poor, oppressed, and exploited people are suffering from a neurological/emotional defect that makes them not know what’s best for themselves, so they don’t need or deserve rights or money.

Here are some terms that have been so horribly misused by mental health culture that we’ve almost entirely forgotten that they were originally materialist critiques.

Codependency What it originally referred to: A non-addicted person being overly “helpful” to an addicted partner or relative, often out of financial desperation. For example: Making sure your alcoholic husband gets to work in the morning (even though he’s an adult who should be responsible for himself) because if he loses his job, you’ll lose your home. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/08/opinion/codependency-addiction-recovery.html What it’s been distorted into: Being “clingy,” being “too emotionally needy,” wanting things like affection and quality time from a partner. A way of pathologizing people, especially young women, for wanting things like love and commitment in a romantic relationship.

Compulsory Heterosexuality What it originally referred to: In the 1980 in essay "Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence," https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/493756 Adrienne Rich described compulsory heterosexuality as a set of social conditions that coerce women into heterosexual relationships and prioritize those relationships over relationships between women (both romantic and platonic). She also defines “lesbian” much more broadly than current discourse does, encompassing a wide variety of romantic and platonic relationships between women. While she does suggest that women who identify as heterosexual might be doing so out of unquestioned social norms, this is not the primary point she’s making. What it’s been distorted into: The patronizing, biphobic idea that lesbians somehow falsely believe themselves to be attracted to men. Part of the overall “Women don’t really know what they want or what’s good for them” theme of contemporary discourse.

Emotional Labor What it originally referred to: The implicit or explicit requirement that workers (especially women workers, especially workers in female-dominated “pink collar” jobs, especially tipped workers) perform emotional intimacy with customers, coworkers, and bosses above and beyond the actual job being done. Having to smile, be “friendly,” flirt, give the impression of genuine caring, politely accept harassment, etc. https://weld.la.psu.edu/what-is-emotional-labor/ What it’s been distorted into: Everything under the sun. Everything from housework (which we already had a term for), to tolerating the existence of disabled people, to just caring about friends the way friends do. The original intent of the concept was “It’s unreasonable to expect your waitress to care about your problems, because she’s not really your friend,” not “It’s unreasonable to expect your actual friends to care about your problems unless you pay them, because that’s emotional labor,” and certainly not “Disabled people shouldn’t be allowed to be visibly disabled in public, because witnessing a disabled person is emotional labor.” Anything that causes a person emotional distress, even if that emotional distress is rooted in the distress-haver’s bigotry (Many nominally progressive people who would rightfully reject the bigoted logic of “Seeing gay or interracial couples upsets me, which is emotional labor, so they shouldn’t be allowed to exist in public” fully accept the bigoted logic of “Seeing disabled or poor people upsets me, which is emotional labor, so they shouldn’t be allowed to exist in public”).

Battered Wife Syndrome What it originally referred to: The all-encompassing trauma and fear of escalating violence experienced by people suffering ongoing domestic abuse, sometimes resulting in the abuse victim using necessary violence in self-defense. Because domestic abuse often escalates, often to murder, this fear is entirely rational and justified. This is the reasonable, justified belief that someone who beats you, stalks you, and threatens to kill you may actually kill you.

What it’s been distorted into: Like so many of these other items, the idea that women (in this case, women who are victims of domestic violence) don’t know what’s best for themselves. I debated including this one, because “syndrome” was a wrongful framing from the beginning – a justified and rational fear of escalating violence in a situation in which escalating violence is occurring is not a “syndrome.” But the original meaning at least partially acknowledged the material conditions of escalating violence.

I’m not saying the original meanings of these terms are ones I necessarily agree with – as a cognitive liberty absolutist, I’m unsurprisingly not that enamored of either second-wave feminism or 1970s addiction discourse. And as much as I dislike what “emotional labor” has become, I accept that “Women are unfairly expected to care about other people’s feelings more than men are” is a true statement.

What I am saying is that all of these terms originally, at least partly, took material conditions into account in their usage. Subsequent usage has entirely stripped the materialist critique and fully replaced it with emotional pathologization, specifically of women. Acknowledgement that women have their choices constrained by poverty, violence, and oppression has been replaced with the idea that women don’t know what’s best for themselves and need to be coercively “helped” for their own good. Acknowledgement that working-class women experience a gender-and-class-specific form of economic exploitation has been rebranded as yet another variation of “Disabled people are burdensome for wanting to exist.”

Over and over, materialist critiques are reframed as emotional or cognitive defects of marginalized people. The next time you hear a superficially sympathetic (but actually pathologizing) argument for “Marginalized people make bad choices because…” consider stopping and asking: “Wait, who are we to assume that this person’s choices are ‘bad’? And if they are, is there something about their material conditions that constrains their options or makes the ‘bad’ choice the best available option?”

[ohnoitstbskyen]

asking sincerely. do you see a romance between jayce and viktor? do you think they ended up being something romantic at the end?

With apologies I am going to only half talk about the thing you are asking me, since I have something else on my mind and you happened to hit the button that makes me vomit it into words.

Coming at this from an aromantic perspective, I obviously don't experience the state of absurd obsessive delusion that you bizarre romantic freaks fetishize so feverishly*, but I am often annoyed by the idea that friendship and romance are either opposites or mutually exclusive. From my perspective, the boundary between the two is at best thin, and more realistically not actually a boundary at all except by cultural construction.

*i am taking an excessively hostile, crass tone for my own amusement i do not mean this seriously please be normal at me, weird allo freaks

I won't get into my full feelings about the end of Arcane, but it seems perfectly plain to me that the script, the imagery and the animation presents Jayce and Viktor as two halves of a whole, not opposing forces but alike to yin and yang: opposites which each contain the other. And at the climax of the show, the greatest peril to life and peace in the narrative is resolved by these two men literally joining their bodies and souls together, and going into eternity holding one another for comfort and strength. They are quite literally soulmates, quite literally the most important people in one another's lives.

I don't think that that kind of intimate emotional connection between men must necessarily be either romantic or sexual - I am aromantic, and plenty of ace people exist, and there is nothing in our natures excluding us from intense connections of love with other people of any gender.

I also think it is willfully ignorant (and genuinely homophobic) to act as though these deep connections are mutually exclusive with sex and romance. As though if Viktor and Jayce fucked nasty and made out sloppy style, suddenly their intimacy is less pure or valid, or tainted somehow.

"If these two men who are emotionally close to one another also fuck or get romantically involved, then friendship is dead, murdered on the floor by a dick-shaped knife; vile sexuality corrupts and debases the true, pure and virtuous love of ✨friendship✨" <- This shit is homophobic at a baseline, queerphobic in general, and frankly as an aromantic man I find it pretty fucking insulting as well.

What, are my friendships with other men just inherently more pure and divine, more meaningful and true than a gay man's can ever be, because I will never suffer the vile temptation of adding romance to my affection? Is that how I should think of myself? And is an aroace man more pure than me still, the only source of TRUE male friendship that a man can ever experience, free from the pustulant corruption of sexuality and romantic desire?

You get this pathetic defensiveness (especially from men, but other genders aren't immune) wherein sex and sexuality and romance between men is perceived as a threat to men's right and ability to experience deep connection to each other. But the emotional castration of men comes not from people imagining sex and romance as a component of our relationships - it comes from people who insist that our emotional lives must be ruled by strict binaries. Sex and romance, OR ELSE friendship. Deep romantic connection OR ELSE deep platonic connection. Pick one and do not dare to imagine both, nor act as though the boundary between them is something that we built by cultural fiat, and which can be dismantled just the same.

And yes, yes, yes, I know there are cultural forces literally illuminati-style conspiring to systemically erase the entire existence of explicitly romantic, sexual male love from media, and I know that homophobic puritanism is on the rise and there are material concerns and a real necessity for explicit representation in fiction, yes I know. Everything is more complicated than a tumblr post can cover, I am not trying to Solve Rainbow Capitalism™ over here, I am trying to express frustration as an aromantic man that this stupid fucking binary keeps getting culturally reinforced by both my enemies and my well-meaning allies, when I think the binary is what's fucking killing us in the first place.

So anyway. My position is that Viktor and Jayce can be entirely aromantic no-homo friends, and they can fuck nasty in the throes of mutual need and obsession, and I refuse to entertain the idea that there is an irresolvable contradiction between those things. Each of those can contain the other, or become the other given time and circumstance.

What the imagery, storytelling and script of Arcane makes clear is that Viktor and Jayce love each other more than life itself. To say that that love must be shoved into the box of either "platonic" or "romantic" is to miss out on almost everything that is beautiful about love. It can be both and neither! It can be a secret third, ninth or fifteenth thing that they haven't invented a tag for on Ao3 yet.

They are giving each other whatever the spiritual mind-ghost equivalent of sloppy backshots are on the ethereal plain forever, they are the most romantic lovers in the cosmos, and they are also the most chaste and platonic life-partner friends you have ever seen, effortlessly intimate and unashamedly tender. They are men who love one another, in every way that love matters.

You can pick whichever interpretation brings you joy, and resonates with what your heart needs, the text of the show is eminently and explicity open to it, and anyone who says otherwise either failed to pay attention, or refused to pay attention on purpose.

[marsprincess889]

Astrology observations

Part 12

Vedic

...

1. Bharani natives (especially girls and women) might be told that they're too much or too intense, or that they need to "chill". Their uncompromising nature suffers when people force them to tone themselves down. In reality, they're not too much at all. Their intensity is them just fulfilling their cosmic truth. Sometimes things ARE that serious and for Bharani women, their strength and power lies in their radicalism and fierceness. For Ashwinis (previous nakshatra), for example, thinking too much or going deep is not natural nor is it really required of them cosmically. For Bharanis, that kind of easygoing and dismissive (in a neutral sense) attitude, that is correct for Ashwinis, is truly unhealthy. You can even see the difference between them when you look at their yoni animals (Bharani's elephant and Ashwini's horse).

Bharanis do have a humorous side to them though but elephant yonis in general (Bharani and Revati) are the least careless amd dismissive yoni type, in a sense that they have a need to consider everything and be thorough. After all, Elephant yonis represent authority and there's a responsibility in both of those nakshatras that they carry deeply within themselves.

2. I've noticed that enemy yoni nakshatras of the same gender (for example: male horse and male buffalo/ashwini and swati) always share a theme but they have opposite purposes and represent that theme in different ways. I cannot go over all of them in this type of post but let me know if you'd like me to make a separate one to do that.

3. Women with Venus, Sun or Jupiter nakshatras in their big three all feel taken advantage of in different ways, and even if they don't in the beginning, at some point they clearly do. These are all giving and energetically abundant planets and when they influence the chart of a woman (a naturally passive and receptive polarity), it might manifest as those women being used for their giving nature. Their energy is not meant to give endlessly because of their passive modality (femininity). They need people who truly appreciate them. I think that oftentimes people see that they're capable and automatically put a stamp of "masculinity" on them, many times without even realizing it. Others start to take them for granted and get used to relying on them, emotionally, psychologically, mentally or materially. I think men then start to hold these women up to masculine standards and do not respect them unless they meet those imaginary and unrealistic criteria, because average masculine energy cannot truly percieve energetically abundant women as fully feminine, no matter how those men themselves describe their perception. They start to measure Venusian/Solar/Jupitarean women's worth by how much they adapt to masculine whims or compromise their natural urges to "serve" them. This, I think, is one of the most heinous crimes of men against women, because they don't even fully realize that they're doing it, while those women are being siphoned of confidence, vitality, gentleness and beauty within them. Even though it's different, this also happens with other women, whether through platonic or romantic attachments, when the other woman has none of those nakshatras and only posesses the influence of receptive and/or passive planets (moon, rahu, ketu, mercury, mars, saturn), especially Ketu, Rahu or Moon.

4. Venus and Rahu balance the destructive tendencies of Ketu.

While Ketu nakshatras are prone to ignorance, Venus nakshatras are prone to stubbornness and generally have an uncompromising nature. Ketu is the potential and the unmanifest, so, while there's freedom in exploring something without interference, it's still not realized and not set in stone, that is why Ketu's energies may manifest as confusion. The Ketuvian essence hates control (which may manifest as intentional or unintentional ignorance in Ketu natives), but it must be controlled somehow, because Ketu is endlessly absorbing and, therefore, dangerous for life and living things. That is where the solidifying and material forces come in. Venus nakshatras, as they come right after Ketu nakshatras, ground and materialize Ketu's energies. Venus is the pure and impeccable manifestation of the essence into the form (think of Bharani nakshatra and its themes), making the potential of Ketu real and possible.

The other force that balances Ketu is its opposite_ Rahu. Ketu is receptive and absorbing, Rahu projects and discharges its energy outwardly. Ketu is the haze, Rahu is the clarity (whether real or illusory), but the Rahuvian labels are dangerous too without Ketu's experience. In a way, unlike Venus, Rahu needs Ketu in return. Venus is a natural progression after Ketu that takes its energy and birthes it into the world, so in that context, it does "need" Ketu's energy in return, but it functions purely and correctly without need for balance because Venus is the balance itself, and the end goal. Rahu is the other side of the nodal coin, the label and the knowledge of existence to the sleeping Ketu.

5. Vishakha ⚡ natives are rather "harmless" or "meek" in their childhood and younger years, but as time goes on, they mature more and more into their confident and assertive side. It's not really that noticable if you've observed them day by day and have been close to them, you'll notice it if you look back and remember how they were years ago and compare it to how they are now.

This duality might manifest in different ways, but it's almost always about slowly going from one side of the spectrum to the other, whatever that spectrum is.

One interesting thing about them is that they're rather easy to trigger, only they themselves repress it. It comes out anyways, mostly with aggressive language, tone or action, but that aggression is masked by the Vishakha native. Vishakhas are rarely, if ever, comfortable with aggression when they're younger, but their energy often manifests that way, due to how they function: Vishakha is about containing the energy/the anger so that it can be even stronger later, when it's finally expressed. It's like pushing one side of the seesaw so that when you let it go, it jumps up and the other one goes down. It's an act of balance through both extremes. First three fourths of Vishakha are in Libra, the Scales_ the sign of harmony and balance, and the last fourth is in Scorpio, where its energy/poison is transforming after all the interplay between two opposites.

6. This might only be my personal opinion, but I still consider it true: I think that the process of learning about/researching nakshatras reflects the nature of the nakshatras themselves, each and every one of them.

Like how I always "knew" what Bharani was about and recognized its nature deeply but the exact proof behind my reasoning was hidden, so I refused to trust it. Once I trusted what I felt I found the proof that helped me wrote down my throughts logically (the gatekeeping and the bravery/leap of faith required to access your desire, in my case, the understanding of the nakshatra).

With Punarvasu, I had an understanding but I drift back and forth between thinking I know everything about it and then discovering I don't, because I find new patterns that add to old information and expand it (the returning/repetition of patterns and expanding each time).

With Magha, I did not even try and it just came to me when I was not even actively seeking it (the detachmemt from the body in Magha/effortless nature of Ketu).

Note: I think my chart definitely plays a role in when/how I understand each nakshatra and how I approach them. Same is true for everyone else, in my opinion.

7. Often, when people are ignorant, they unconciously express the nature of their Ketu nakshatras in a negative way. Think of the complaints you have had about each and every nakshatra_ people's Ketu placements express that when those people are in a rather tamasic (ignorant) state.

Everytime you get so fed up with a person that you don't even think it's any worth talking to them, your reasoning for that are those negative traits that their Ketu nakshatra posesses (Ketu is not always negative though).

Like, if your friend which Chitra Ketu annoys you, you might think: "they love to gossip and to stir drama so much and take little time to self-reflect, they're chaotic, superficial, and a hypocrite", because that's the negative state of that nakshatra.

For someone with Swati Ketu, it would be: "they're so scattered and unintegrated, they say/do a lot but barely any of it is of substance. They're all over the place and don't really know what they're doing/saying in the grand scheme of things".

For Ashlesha Ketu it would be: "they're so emotionally/psychologically manipulative, they bite and then act innocent/try to apologize immediately. They're clingy and emotionally suffocating".

For Dhanishta Ketu it would be: "they crave attention so much, they're so extra. They do things just to be popular and get admiration from anyone."

You get the gist.

The reason why those traits, whatever they might be in specific cases, are annoying, is because the person is largely ignorant of them themselves, so, they're ignorant to the ignorance.

While the positive side of Ketu is about experiential knowledge and instinctive power, the negative is blindness and a dangerous spiral downwards towards more and more ignorance.

To be less influenced by the negative side of our Ketu (it is easy to fall under Ketu's darkness for people who do not often self-reflect), we have to be honest with ourselves, for ourselves, not for the outer projections influenced by others or the constructed, distorted view. We all carry the negative, destructive potential of our Ketu. Ask yourself, how much of the negative traits of your Ketu nakshatra do you unconciously exhibit?

I'm going to briefly go over all of them (look at yoir Ketu and big three nakshatras):

Ketu nakshatras

Ashwini: not hearing others, using bullying/brute force, averse to depth and nuance, glossing over most things, ignorant in a childish way. Magha: having too big of an ego, unnecessarily demonstrative, too prideful to listen to others. Mula: thinking that you have monopoly over the larger truth, ignoring things if they do not fit in your narrative.

Venus nakshatras

Bharani: self-oppressive, masochistic, fatalistic, stubborn. Purva Phalguni: demanding to be pampered, inadequately capricious, performative and dramatic. Purva Ashadha: close-minded, arrogant, too sure of their own superiority.

Sun nakshatras

Krittika: too self-involved, too critical, averse to traditional femininity. Uttara Phalguni: friendly because they're opportunistic, too dependant on the community. Uttara Ashadha: detached and cold, averse to all emotions, have an unbalanced/unhealthy masculine.

Moon nakshatras

Rohini: illogical, needs to be babied, generally blissfully unaware. Hasta: manipulative and insecure, too materialistic, unoriginal with a superiority complex. Shravana: too eager to compromise, too easily influenced.

Mars nakshatras

Mrigashira: compulsively avoidant, too easily distracted, suspicious of everything, always on edge. Chitra: shallow and superficial, chaotic, hypoctirical, lover of gossip/drama. Dhanishta: attention-seeking, too direct, unecessarily aggressive, a bully.

Rahu nakshatras

Ardra: too reliant on intellect, sees problems where there aren't any, unecessarily critical, mean, contrarian. Swati: scattered and unintegrated, contradict themselves, wanting to be different for the sake of it even if it's illogical/detrimental. Shatabhisha: overcomplicate things, too detached, mysterious but want to be aware of others.

Jupiter nakshatras

Punarvasu: too accepting, flaky and impartial, averse to confrontation and negative emotions. Vishakha: indecisive but radical, always swing back and forth, represses anger and expresses it later. Purva Bhadrapada: drunk on their own grandiose, big gestures/statements but little soul, imposes their decisions/opinions on others.

Saturn nakshatras

Pushya: too neutral/impartial, too self-involved, too clinical and by-the-book. Anuradha: dependant and opportunistic, prone to herd mentality, too mindful of others' opinions. Uttara Bhadrapada: having a stubborn one-track-mind, too ambitious.

Mercury nakshatras

Ashlesha: emotionally manipulative, psychologically dependant, clingy but avoidant. Jyeshta: obsessed with independence, averse to any help, combative and too sure of themselves sometimes. Revati: too abstract, too detached/impartial to worldly events, thinking of themselves as the exception to the rule.

Important note: these are my little formulaic interpetations, feel free to disregard them. It is extremely important to not view your Ketu as something negative, but rather to see the true value in it. Once you become aware of your Ketu (often it's a long process, but the start of it still shows), then all the "negativity" turns into magic. The negative side of Ketu is simply the fact that it's unaware and naturally ignorant, so when you see it and acknowledge it, it becomes an irreplacable ally.

Being "aware" of your Ketu is an extremely internal and personal process, one that is hard to explain and nearly impossible for others to understand. Ketu is the intelligence of the body, not the mind, so to be aware of it, you need to rely on that inner knowing and bodily instincts and try to calm your rational mind (Rahu). Over time, if nurtured, that intelligence becomes more and more sophisticated and integrated, and thus, easier to recognize. Although, often, "controlling"/accessing your Ketu is an uphill battle where the more you try to tame it, the more it resists. My take on it is that it is not meant to be tamed, but rather befriended, like a wild animal. Ketu, in essence, is your inner animal, and I think it's meant to be worked on carefully, rather than crudely controlled. The whole point of Ketu is that it does not submit, so, controlling it will only lead to difficulties. So, if you try to approach your Ketu with a rational mind, I think you'll be more separate from it.

Accessing your Ketu begins with trusting your body and inner knowing, and you stay connected to it by carefully facing its true nature, choosing to access your deep truth over relying on false, outward generalizations day by day, time and time again (again, it's individual to everyone)...

...

Let me know your thoughts 🤍

[thetrialsandtribulationsofeb]

no but it cracks me up that all this time buck was walking around with this feeling of “my bro is the most attractive dude on the planet. like, he’s so pretty, any girl would be lucky to have him. i’m kind of jealous of them (joking, of course. or am i?..), but i get it. and he’s also such an amazing dad. and he’s so smart, and so brave, and so reliable, and so funny, and so cool. literally the best person alive. i’m just happy for his girlfriends, ‘cause they get to have this guy to themselves. but also i hope he never has another best friend like me, ‘cause no one is allowed to take my place in his life. it’s all i have”

and eddie was walking around with this feeling of “wow, i just made the bestest friend in the world. he cares about me and he loves my child so much. i want to spend all my time with him. i want to talk with him about everything. i want to listen to him talk about everything. i want to see him every day. i trust him with my life. i trust him with my son, which is even more important than my life. now that i’ve gotten to know him, i can’t really imagine my future without him in it. also, i have this weird swirl of feelings inside my chest when i see him with his romantic partners, but i have no idea what it is. it’s too confusing for me, so my brain is just kind of unable to process it. i trust him with my darkest secrets and i’m not afraid of him seeing me at my lowest, ‘cause i feel like he always accepts all of me with understanding instead of judgment. my life feels empty and wrong without him by my side. i might need him almost as much as i need my son at this point, wow. he’s just the most important person in my life. again, after my son. but i realized that i need both of them beside me to feel happy”

and for 7 years, they genuinely didn’t understand what it meant, because eddie was too inexperienced and emotionally repressed to be able to comprehend what his feelings actually meant, and buck was too unaware of what his feelings for men meant

so all these years they were really just walking around being in love with each other but not having a single idea that they were, because they really thought that this is just how platonic camaraderie feels like -

until tommy's intervention and eddie's move to el paso finally opened their eyes and gave them a new perspective from which they could look at their feelings toward each other and finally be able to understand them

their story gets me every time. like, it’s so stupid and unhinged and beautiful

and something like this really could only happen by accident, ‘cause i don’t think any tv show writer is smart enough to create something so raw and complex as their relationship from scratch

it just kind of happened by itself. and i love it

[deesseshesca]

PAC: How do y’all feel about each other sexual energy ? (18+)

(SINGLE SINCE BIRTH - ERA ~3 )

Haven't slept since last night...

Hello Chérie d'Amour !

How y'all doing ? Hope those last few days have been treating u better than me. When it comes to me is time for me to take a real break. I'm going to be inactive for a month. I am so sorry for my single babe since birth, it was finally your turn to thrive but don't worry, I try to create some good juicy content before I leave for a moment. All readings will be on sale up until this weekend because of recession. I feel like you guys need to catch a break but keep in mind you will only receive the product in May 2025. In April everything will to back to regular prices. That being said, I hope April brings you nothing but success.

MUCH LOVE,

SHESCA.

PILE 1 

YOU : You feel that he has experiences and you are one on his list of potential lovers. I am not going to lie before I even get further, this does not feel like romantic love. It could be platonic love with sex (FWB or sexual arrangement) at least from your side. I don't know if that's how y’all relationships begin or how it was always supposed to be. Ahhh… now lets go. You can sense the deep desire he has for you. Maybe he has prey eyes when he lays them on you. May have possessive  mannerism  with you. Also may tell you to go around and tell others you are his because he hates the thought that anyone can even think they have a chance with you. I just heard: “ You are too pretty for your own good”. You do applaud the fact that he never cares and always show you off no matter the circumstance. Not the type to be disrespectful. May actually be quite the feminist not the performative kind. You may never think he cares so much for women rights because he dont look like it. May have a darker or alternative aesthetic. If not then has the aesthetic of somebody that dont care for women rights : pick up car, bible verse tatted, country accent and love hunting. Actually very emotionally available yet avoidant. Which mean he can express himself and can be transparent with his feelings. Probably dealt with his childhood trauma, not the type to ghost after fucking you. Actually take care of you and give some aftercare. Asking you if you are "ok", before the act and after. Clean you up and tell you he leaves before doing it so you dont wake up feeling funny. Would hate for you to feel use. Avoidant because he can't see himself being in a relationship because he dont think he deserves it. You can feel all this by the way he treats you right but can't seem to give you the title you desire. Want you to be his, act like you are his and don't mess with other people, yet don't want to ask you out properly. You can feel like his manifesting you. What I mean by that, is that you are going to see him grow. From running from you, to trying, to loving you and appreciating you. He wants you, you can see it in his eyes, his actions and his words. You feel like one of most prize objects in his life, he treats you as such and you know that you are all he wants.  Also he has a big dick. To my virgin babe don't worry, he is no monster. Will probably do a lot of foreplay and y'all may also have many nights that all you do is oral sex prepping for the big gun. If you are a virgin, he is very scared of hurting you. 

HIM : 

Before anything : I hear and see you caressing his cheek while saying: “My baby, my baby…” with a sad tone. 

They fucking love is crazy. At first I was unsure and I would be the first to tell you to run the fuck away from something, y’all know me. I don't play those games. 

HE FUCKING LOVES EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU ! The way you look, the color of your hair, your hairstyle, if is curly or not, the color of your eyes, the way it light up, the shape of your face, the face you make when he fuck you, he loves you body, every inch. Clothes or nah, he is fucking turn on all the time when it comes to you. The style you have, nails or nah, lashes or nah, makeup or nah, shave or nah. He loves the sound of your voice, the moan you make when he's thrusting deep into you, the way you talk dirty and the way you tease him with nudes, the way  you end up play hard to get it just for the fuck of it. The reality is you guys meet when he just came out of the dark night of the soul. He just fought suicidal thought maybe even survive an attempt. He may be clean from self harm tendency or his sober from substances. He’s still in woods but his not dancing with the devil no more. You are going to force your way into his life. He is a loner and he dont like to mingle but you are coming in with your zest for life … LOL ! What you don't know is that you are the sun of his life. Just by existing you bring him all the joy, life never thought worth giving him. Don't get me wrong it aint co-dependent. He doesn't live because of you. Nah he lived so he could found you. Going back to him, he is too fucking tired to start fighting his avoidant issue but without realizing it he will be growing with you. You are going to enter his life when he is in the 8 cup era( me : surprise the card did not come up) , like he let go of something but he is not yet sure of the next path but knows he must leave so he did. Your warmth  ( dang all I wanted was the sex … here I am in love reading) is something he yearns for. He will often hit you  up, so he can spend your work break with you in his car so you guys can cuddle. He will hit up after work so he can see you. He will beg to see you. Not for sex just to sleep. If he has night terror, you make them stop. Don't worry you ain't got no super power, it's just because he feels safe in your embrace. In my visions regarding your couple, he is always sleeping. Damn y’all fav spot is your bedroom. Lol … babe don't take it personally but he see you as a liability. No job asking for princess treatment just eating and using all his money. He would love how wet you get. You are going to make him feel like his dick has super power in the bedroom because he can make you squirt. To my virgin no worries is actually bound to happen since he's big and you go that WAP. You guys may develop a size kink together. 

PREVIOUS READING

2. PAC (FREE ) : PAC : Your first & maybe only love reaction to seeing you naked for the first time (Babe gather your coins because there's no more free content in the future, xoxo.)

PILE 2

YOU : You feel as tho he has a breeding kink. He loves nutting in you or loves seeing his cum on your tits, your butt, stomach or your face. A fan of facial. You may have a very pretty face, a bit childish, don't worry he aint a pedophile. You have a round face, very chubby cheek, and round deer eyes, may have a rather coquette or very feminine aesthetic. I am seeing light makeup, you may like to get doll up before y’all fuck. Don't act all innocent; you enjoy seeing the aftermath of y’all encounter. You get all doll up, so you can see the wig lifting (if you wear one), your makeup mush, you lips red, the hickeys on your body  or even like seeing your clothes tear down on the floor after the act is over (me: you guys are literally the representation of the quote : I love pink, violence and sex). You know he has a good sex reputation. He may have been a player until he decided to settle with you. You knew it and he never tried to hide it. If you guys do end up break up, he is forever going to be the best sex you ever had. The man knows what the fuck he is doing. You are not here for the sex tho. He knows it. You are here because he get you. Maybe people around expected you to act a certain way, you may attend private school, may be the oldest sibling in your family, may hold a job with power, whatever the situation is, you are held to a higher standard than the rest. Some of you may be the daughter of a pastor or religious important figure. With him, you get open up and even do stuff that would not be allowed by people around you. Having sex may be forbidden in your family before marriage. You may also smoke with him and drink 2. You guys talk to each other about hardship and he just gets it. The thing is pile 2, is like you guys are living in a golden cage. You have gone through so much trauma but you can't talk about it because there's almost a policy of : “ you hear nothing, see nothing and speak of nothing” in y’all family. I’m hearing the song of Pretty Little Liars. They have a darker aesthetic and they are more of a loner so you would think they are the one with the destructive habits but is all you. Now that I’m thinking about it, you may be the only one smoking and drinking when y'all are together and he just makes sure you don't go overboard. You may actually be the one asking him to go this hard in the bedroom. What's funny (not really), you don't feel like he loves you for you. You think, I am writing black on white, you think he only loves you for your tight pussy. You know I dont stand for BS so imma be very honest babes. He aint the problem. Y’all seriously hate yourself very deeply. It's really sad. I did not say I pity you but it breaks my heart, sensing the depth in which you hate your own gut. You see him as an enemie. Almost as a war weapon … I aint playing Chérie d’Amour. You make me think of the way Katniss thought of Peeta in the book of Hunger Games (the first ones). In reality, you don't think no one could ever love you. 

PS : You also feel like he is very emotional. Is easy for him to cry and he doesn't hide himself when he does so. He would cry a front of a kid show or while listening to the news. He may actually stay from the news because he easily absorbs emotions around that. A truth empath … LOL ! He is very loving in the way he dirty speak, I am hearing: “ Look at me …”, “ Is ok I’m here …”, “ You are doing amazing love …” 

HIM: 

I ain't going to lie, this is toxic. Not the yelling, verbally or physically abusive type of toxic. No breaking each other's spirit . Is more the type he wants to save you from you  and you are incapable to stop destroying yourself. Don't get him wrong, he ain't got no savior complex but he sees so much potential in you… yet all you see is his flaws and nothing is really changing your mind. If he is the one reading … RUN ! But since is you, there's nothing I can do but watch. Congrats you have manifested your first relationship  ( I swear I mean it with no sarcasm). There's a lot of lessons here. This may be your wake up call because you are the one closest on in this PAC getting in a relationship. May even happening this Aries season. Is not a matter of “if” but a matter of “when”. 

He feel like you have a facade because he can sense all you truly crave is softeness. You don't actually want this hardcore sex, you want something softer. Otherwise you will want to be degrated, the fact that you prefer him talking in a softer tone, caressing you and holding you when the act is done shows your true intention. You hide behind that tough cover. In front of people you play the perfect innocent daughter while in front of him you play this though women that nothing sacred anymore. He can also feel that you are disgusted by the fact that you do desire love and affection. He doesn't want you just for your tight pussy. He love the depth you have and the beauty you hold. You are a very pretty babe in his eyes, the prettiest woman he ever laid his gaze  upon. Also he’s in love with the poetic tone you give to your pain. You could quite literally love writing  poems or being a writer in your free time. You may play an instrument or love singing. He enjoys listening to you talking about philosophy for hours even tho he doesn't always agree with you. For him, you guys together are the embodiment of the song : Dark Paradise - Lana Del Rey. He feels like you are wasting your time with him. You deserve so much more than him. He ain't going nowhere. He feels like you only want him close to you just so you can hurt him. You wish you could destroy people around you but instead you keep hurting his love with fake promises and treating him like he is replaceable. He won't leave because he actually enjoys this arrangement.  If it is the only way for him to have you then that is how it must be. He may have a Mars in Scorpio or in Pisces. 

PS : Now I understand, he aint innocent either. While you destroy yourself with hate, substance and sex. He destroys himself by finding people he knows are going to hurt him. Is more than the victim complex, is the martyr. If he aint in pain then he ain't living. Right now in the spiritual world you are like falling stars colliding into each other and nobody is stopping you because there's life changing lessons that must happen. 

PREVIOUS READING

2. PAC (FREE ) : PAC : Your first & maybe only love reaction to seeing you naked for the first time(Babe gather your coins because there's no more free content in the future, xoxo.)

PILE 3 

YOU: You are extremely grateful for all his exes. You thank them for the way they tame his masculinity and raise him to be an amazing bf. You are grateful for his sisters for showing what is it to actually deal a real women. Most importantly his mom for making him a gentleman. You feel like he loves trying new stuff in the bedroom and dont mind doing it in places that are not traditional. Everytime he grabs you, you don't know in which position you are going to be. He may love going round after rounds with no break ( me : Shit that a whole workout). May be the type to start making out in the car in broad day light with the windows down because he never gave a fuck. Will probably introduce you to sex toys, nothing crazy ladies. He ain't your BDSM type at all but his masculinity never was scared of a pink dildo or a rose toy ( amen to that !). You feel like he has multiple options. You see people flirting with him in front of you like you don't exist. You may keep your relationship private because when you post him, people add him with no shame. Also you applaud the effort he put in the bedroom. He put in the work. Coming in with new techniques  like the pillow or the bear hug. There's something about the way his hip moves, like he is going to hit your g-spot like nobody damn business. Over and over again at that. 

PS : Your first relationship may be an interracial one. For him, you're the first woman of that race he actually dated, not that he found you kind ugly, he just never had a chance to date one of y’all. Also don't worry, no fetishes, purely in love with learning your culture with respect. 

HIM :He feels like you have no idea of your sexual needs. Don't get him wrong,  he knows you are a virgin so you don't know how to move but the problem is that you don't seem to even know what you want. It's almost like you have literally no idea what sex is. Like a new concept falling from the sky. You are acting like you are a pre-teen who just now learned about sex. On the other hand he enjoys the way you are spontaneous many claim to be but they are not. There's a difference between being spontaneous and adventurous and people don't seem to know it. He loves the way you are down for anything at any moment. Which he always craved and missed in his last relationship. Going back to what I wrote, he feels like you are like a doll with no opinion. You just go with whatever he says with no real back bone. You don't tell him if you like what he just did. You don't show different emotions depending on different position or touch. You are just here looking at him nodding. He enjoys your moans but would prefer if you could appreciate him more in the bedroom. Don't get me wrong, he doesn't expect you to have the vocabulary of a porn star but tell him he's doing a good job. Telling him is hitting the right spot, telling him he's handsome and telling him you have been craving him. At the end of the day he aint stress because he is sure y’all are going to figure it out. It's just the beginning of your sexual journey and he knows with time and patience you are going to open up to him. 

PS: He knows you are nervous. The first time y’all are going to do it, you may actually be anxious. I see you looking around nervous and having jabbing movements. You will open up about the fact that you are not sure you can satisfy him. What you don't realize is just the thought of you, turning him on sooooo bad. He can't sleep without taking a cold shower because he is always sexually frustrated when it comes to you. You are literally his dream girl. Trust me babe, no need to worry, you are his female fantasy. 

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PILE 4 

YOU : You love the fact that he makes you feel wanted. You feel like you are the object of his desire. He makes you feel like he can't make a move without you in his life. Without you his life ain't complete. He makes you feel super sexy, always begging you for a pic of you. Not caring if it is a selfie, a nude or even just an OOTD. I see you taking a bunch of pictures that you keep in a folder for when he is needy of your presence but can't be near. Also you can sense how he gets no pleasure being in the dominant role of the relationship. For some of y’all, he will take the lead in public. For the other in this pile, he will be walking around unafraid to show how much of a simp he is.For the first type, he may be very tall and loves going to the gym. He cares for the finer things in life, I see luxurious cars and watches. He may work a white collar job and hold a title of power ranging from manager to CEO. Not the time to talk a lot, have a rather deep voice and have a mug face normally. While for the other he’s a student, shorter, may be older than you but have a baby  face. The first one would be the type to text you that he is waiting at your door, giving you unexpected surprise and making sure everyone knows you are taken because he is possessive. While the other may be the type to follow you around, be down with all your sidequest, take your picture like one of your fans and always have this fool expression on his face when it comes to you. You may tell him what to do but he will always pay for everything and give you the princess treatment. They both have something in common, they love to be dominated. Love it when you play with them. Edge theme, tell them “no” just to hear them whine, don't worry it won't be on your first time but will love it when you use toys on them 2. Will love it even more if you bound them in beautiful pink ribbons. Loves when you challenge them not to make a single noise or they wont get to fuck you tonight. They make you feel love. There's not a single doubt in your mind and others that he loves you. By the way he acts, speaks about you when you ain't there or even takes care of you like  you are the most delicate being on this planet. Whether it be with letters, text you poem, buy flowers or when he travels and always comes back with something that reminds them of you. The way they refuse to end FaceTime because they want to sleep and wake up to you. Scream to any women approaching  them that their fucking taken may wear a fake marriage ring to seal the deal because the mere fact that other women may flirt with them piss them off. 

PS : The biggest munch alive. Will literally cry if you don't let them taste your delicious pussy. 

HIM:He knows you are very strict, you don't play mind games. Your standard are high and you don't mind cutting a man off mid date, mid convo or even relationship if you don't feel respected. At the same time he knows your love can never go bad. You are not really the type to talk about the feelings, you are more the type to show it in your actions. The fact that you bake  for him, your eyes light up when you look at him, your voice softens when you speak to him or even the way your body relaxes when you touch him. On the other hand, he still can sense a blockage in you. It's like you are always waiting for him to fail. You never allow yourself to enjoy the bliss of this relationship. Waiting for him to become abusive, waiting for him to start yelling, waiting for him to start breaking shit around or even start cheating. Just so you can say : “ I knew it ! You can't trust this man, frl, frl.” The issue with this way of thinking is undervaluing the efforts put in by your partner and he also makes him feel like he is constantly passing a test. That may be a big red flag for him that he will consider the worthiness in longevity in your relationship. I see him entering the relationship knowing he found the one. I also sense he can let go, if he ever feels like he can't give you what you truly desire.

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[rabbiitte]

Queer Coding in Media: Jayce and Viktor's Case.

Let's address what Christian Linke recently said about Jayce and Viktor's relationship because this is making some noise in the community:

According to the co-creator, Jayce and Viktor love each other like “brothers”.

Christian states that he doesn't understand why people see their relationship as a romantic one.

Linke also added, after the end of the series, that Viktor is canonically asexual and dismissed a possible romantic relationship with Jayce due to that reason.

We'll expand on these points next. But first, some context.

| About queer coding...

If Jayce and Viktor's relationship is seen as beyond brotherly, it's because it was portrayed that way. Their relationship is very queer coded.

Queer coding refers to the practice of subtly implying that a character in a piece of media is part of the LGBTQ+ community without explicitly stating or confirming it. This is often achieved through subtext, symbolism or specific character traits associated with queerness. This often arises due to societal restrictions, censorship or creators intentionally embedding queer elements into their work.

Queer coding for a couple in media involves using subtle visual, narrative or dialogue-based cues to suggest a romantic or deeply intimate connection between two characters without explicitly confirming their relationship as romantic or LGBTQ+. This type of queer coding focuses on the dynamic between the two characters rather than just one individual's traits.

When discussing queer coding in media, the examples can include both the content of the relationship itself (dialogues, interactions and dynamics) and visual and non-visual narrative (cinematographic techniques, narrative techniques and the use of music). Both aspects—content and narrative—are essential to queer coding because: a) Content provides the material that audiences can latch onto (dialogues, dynamics or gestures) and b) the narrative guides how the audience perceives this material (through visuals or music, for example).

Below are examples and methods used to queer code couples:

Relationship's Content (character's dynamics and dialogues):

These are the in-universe moments or dialogues that give romantic or emotionally intense undertones to the relationship. For Jayce and Viktor, this includes:

1. Use of subtext in dialogue or relationships:

Ambiguous or "more-than-friendship" dynamics: Characters have intense emotional bonds or interactions that go beyond typical friendships but stop short of being explicitly romantic. Jayce and Viktor’s connection, for example, is filled with vulnerability, admiration and devotion beyond brotherhood. Their willingness to risk everything to save each other in each timeline adds a tragic, almost romantic layer to their bond. Jayce’s comment calling Viktor “beautiful despite his imperfections” and their mutual sacrifices suggest a deep connection that goes beyond friendship or platonic relationships. Their bond, tied to time loops and destiny, feels more like a soul bond with a cosmic significance that transcends a typical brotherly dynamic. In other cases, this would be a romance.

Loaded Dialogue: Lines of dialogue may carry double meanings or suggest emotional or physical intimacy without being overt (e.g., characters use ambiguous terms like partner, special or soulmate, which can suggest deeper feelings without explicitly labeling the relationship). For example, if one says, "I’d sacrifice everything for you," it resonates beyond platonic territory. Dialogue between Viktor and Jayce is filled with layered meanings that suggest a connection deeper than traditional friendship. Here are some examples:

When Viktor’s former mentor warns him about sacrificing love and legacy, Viktor instinctively replies "Jayce will understand," directly associating Jayce with love and signaling how central Jayce is to his emotional world. Similarly, Jayce’s decision to abandon politics to return to the lab is encapsulated in the line "my place was always here in the lab with you," which emphasizes that his devotion isn't just to their work but specifically to Viktor. The repeated use of "partner" by Jayce further blurs the lines between professional collaboration and emotional intimacy, as the word carries dual meanings, suggesting equality and closeness. The term is somewhere between friends, brothers and more than that. Hence, the term can be freely interpreted. Viktor later reflects on their bond by stating, "it was affection that held us together," acknowledging that their relationship transcended shared goals and was rooted in genuine emotional warmth. Finally, Jayce telling Viktor, "there is beauty in imperfections," as he admires Viktor’s struggles and physical challenges, conveys profound validation and care, elevating their bond to one of deep emotional resonance. These lines collectively demonstrate how their dialogue is charged with a sense of intimacy and mutual admiration, allowing the relationship to be interpreted as more than platonic, hinting at queer coding through its emotional depth and layered expressions.

2. Body language and interactions:

Lingering gazes or physical proximity: Close, lingering touches, extended eye contact or standing too close for “just friends” —common romantic cues—are often used. For example, long hugs, holding hands or standing closely during emotional moments are subtle ways of suggesting attraction or intimacy. In Jayce and Viktor's case, Jayce is almost always the one who initiates the physical contact. Jayce's non-verbal language with Viktor is marked by gestures of reassurence with a hand on his shoulder, hugs without centimeters of distance and fast moves to help Viktor in the face of his weakening due to his illness. An important detail to take into account is Jayce's reaction to Viktor and Mel's return. When Viktor returns from the dead, Jayce surprises his friend with a hug that knocks him off balance by his strength. When Mel returns after no one knew of her whereabouts, Jayce doesn't even hug her, but instead complains about why she didn't save Viktor.

Protective gestures: Scenes of one character sacrificing for, protecting or expressing deep vulnerability to another can suggest more intimate feelings. Jayce and Viktor's relationship also has the presence of hundreds of moments in which they both profess for the safety and well-being of the other. In season one, after having sex with Mel, she wakes up in an empty bed. It turns out that Jayce was with Viktor, waiting on the side of the bed for him to wake up. This detail alone shows where Jayce's loyalty lies. But, overall, Jayce is very delicate and helpful towards Viktor. In turn, the only moment in which Viktor initiates physical contact is to reassure Jayce so that he doesn't feel pain on the astral plane. Both join their foreheads in a significant gesture of appreciation and affection and console each other at the end of their existences.

3. Avoidance of heteronormativity:

Lack of romantic interest in the opposite sex: A queer-coded character may show no explicit attraction to the opposite sex while forming deep emotional bonds with same-sex characters. This is especially true for Viktor, who has had no interest in any character of the opposite gender during the two seasons. The guilt Viktor felt over Sky's death shouldn't be confused with sexual, romantic or aesthetic attraction. Viktor practically didn't even know Sky's name during the first season and, despite knowing each other since childhood, Viktor continues to call her "Miss Young" during the second season. As you may already know, Sky's presence in the second part of Arcane represents what Viktor has left of humanity. Jayce is a separate case, since he did have a sexual-affective relationship with Mel, despite not being officially a couple. However, he always put Viktor's well-being above his relationship with Mel.

Unconventional partnerships: Instead of marrying, having children, or living “normal” lives, queer-coded characters often follow nontraditional paths. The unconventional partnership between Jayce and Viktor lies in their shared path of devoting their lives to science and progress instead of following more traditional societal expectations. Their bond, rooted in their shared ambition and mutual understanding, creates a life partnership that revolves around innovation, discovery and reshaping the world. Together, they prioritize their intellectual and creative pursuits over conventional relationships, with their lab becoming the core of their connection and purpose. This can be seen, for example, in the moment when Jayce decides to resign from politics because he realizes that his place is next to Viktor in the lab. This partnership not only defines their lives but also strengthens their relationship, making it deeply meaningful and unique in its intimacy and shared vision.

Visual and non-visual narrative (cinematographic techniques, narrative techniques and music):

These are the deliberate storytelling choices that imply deeper subtext or allow the audience to interpret a couple's bond as queer. Examples include:

1. Visual narrative:

Symbolism (in scenes): are visual and narrative moments intentionally designed to evoke ambiguity, emotional depth or hidden meanings in a relationship. These scenes often rely on subtext, metaphor or visual framing to suggest intimacy or connection between two characters, leaving their nature open to interpretation. For example, Jayce's campfire scene. Fire might symbolize Jayce's internal turmoil. Mel appearing first may reflect her role as a significant figure in Jayce's life, while Viktor appearing next could symbolize a deeper, enduring connection. The fire "burning away" Mel and transitioning to Viktor might suggest that, in this moment, Jayce's thoughts are consumed by Viktor, representing a priority or emotional focus shifting toward Viktor. So, Viktor isn't simply a colleague or friend but someone whose presence looms large in Jayce's thoughts, surpassing Mel's. While the scene might not explicitly state anything romantic, the visual choices align with tropes often used to convey profound emotional connections, making it easy to interpret the subtext as romantic or deeply personal.

The decision to interweave Viktor’s scene with Jayce and Mel's scene while having sex is highly unusual too. If Jayce and Viktor are purely platonic friends, such a juxtaposition does feel strange. I understand, both Jayce and Viktor are "merging" with something beyond themselves, but can you imagine a similar scene with Jinx and Vi? If Jayce and Viktor's relationship were purely professional, friendly or brotherly, such imagery wouldn't normally feel warranted in storytelling.

Parallelism: In storytelling, parallelism refers to the use of comparable or mirrored elements—such as characters, themes or visuals—to draw connections or contrasts. It often involves showing two or more situations, characters or relationships side-by-side to highlight their similarities, differences or shared significance within the narrative. In Arcane, the creators align Viktor with Mel through parallels. Through this technique, creators seem to suggest that Viktor holds a similar or even equivalent place in Jayce’s life. Since Mel’s relationship with Jayce is explicitly romantic, this framing subtly implies that Viktor could also occupy a romantic or emotionally intimate role.

2. Non-visual narrative:

Music and Lyrics: are powerful tools to subtly hint at romantic or emotional dynamics between characters without explicitly stating them. By selecting specific songs or using lyrics that carry layered meanings, creators can invoke emotions or associations that resonate with queer themes, intimacy or romantic undertones. Songs that have lyrics with open-ended or ambiguous lines, when placed over scenes with queer-coded characters, allow for multiple interpretations. This creates a sense of queerness without labeling it outright, allowing the audience to interpret the relationship as they see fit. As is the case of the song The Line by Twenty One Pilots. Through the line "pull the blanket tight now" you can interpret the song from Viktor's point of view and dedicated to Jayce (since Jayce was the one who gave the blanket to Viktor).

Comparisons and mirroring: narrative parallels with romantic couples, either in character arcs, sacrifices or framing. For example, Jayce and Viktor share a significant bond across multiple timelines. Jinx and Ekko, meanwhile, also share a significant bond in another timeline. This could be interpreted as both couples choosing each other, even, in alternate universes. This is an idea that is commonly related to romantic relationships. Love across different universes is seen as something beyond fraternal and worthy of epic romantic love. In the same episode that Ekko meets Jinx in another timeline, Jayce meets Viktor in another timeline too. The same thing happens in episode three of season two. In the same episode where Vi and Caitlyn fight and part ways, Jayce and Viktor also fight and part ways. In this way, Jayce and Viktor follow a similar pattern and theme (albeit on a larger scale) to that of the other canonically romantic couples in the series.

Subtext in dialogue: refers to lines with double meanings that subtly suggest emotional or romantic undertones. The choice by the creators of lines that are commonly associated with romantic relationships such as "beautiful despite the imperfections", "in all timelines, in all possibilities, only you can show me this", "my place is in the laboratory, with you" or "it was affection that held us" convey an ambiguous message that leaves the possibility of multiple interpretations open. The use of the term "partner" was not accidental either. This word is commonly used by queer individuals to signify a romantic relationship while avoiding gendered language. Jayce and Viktor not calling each other “brothers” is significant because it leaves room for ambiguity, suggesting that the creators might not have wanted to firmly define the relationship. Jayce only called Viktor "brother" once and then insisted on the term "partners" until the end of the series.

As you noted, these aren’t accidental choices—they are purposeful creative decisions made by team members who do support the romantic interpretation of Jayce and Viktor's relationship. Animators, voice actors and designers contributed to shaping this relationship through subtle creative choices. For example, animators might have chosen specific expressions or gestures to convey deeper intimacy, even if this wasn’t explicitly stated in the script. Leaving their relationship ambiguous might have been seen as a “safe” route in the face of disagreements.

In collaborative works like Arcane, no single individual (not even Christian Linke) dictates the entirety of what's canon or not. Creative contributions from diverse team members with their own agenda and interpretations also shape meaning.

If the intention was to show a “brotherly” relationship but the execution led to widespread interpretation of a romantic one, it's failure in storytelling. If the intention was to show a "queer coded" relationship and the execution led to widespread interpretation of a romantic one, then it's success in storytelling.

Death of the author: Viewers also have their own interpretations and that's valid. Varied interpretations shouldn't be dismissed. Here the death of the author applies. This term refers to the fact that, after an author publishes a piece of work, that piece ceases to belong exclusively to the author. Once a work is released, it belongs to the audience as much as the creators. If significant parts of the fanbase interpret Viktor and Jayce as more than friends, that interpretation becomes part of the narrative’s cultural impact, regardless of authorial intent.

The interpretation in media of queer codes is deeply influenced by cultural cues. Although this changes from society to society, social cues are the same for everyone. If Viktor and Jayce’s interactions evoke a sense of romance, it’s because the storytelling taps into those cues, whether intentionally or not. The relationship between them two integrates cultural and social codes typical of queer relationships.

Cultural codes: are tied to traditions, beliefs and shared understandings within a specific culture or subculture. They include symbols (objects, gestures, or imagery that carry specific meanings within a culture —e.g., a wedding ring symbolizing commitment—), narrative patterns (storytelling conventions that audiences recognize, such as the "star-crossed lovers" trope or visual parallels that suggest a connection between characters), expressions and language (words, phrases, or metaphors that carry connotations shaped by cultural usage —e.g., the word "partner" often implying romance in contemporary Western culture—.

Social codes: are the behaviors and norms that define interactions and relationships between individuals or groups. These codes are often context-dependent and include: body language (physical gestures or proximity that suggest intimacy, power, or affection —e.g., lingering touches or intense eye contact indicating closeness—), relationship norms (expectations about how certain types of relationships—platonic, familial, romantic—are expressed in actions and language) and contextual cues (the way relationships are framed by their environment, such as a candlelit dinner indicating romance or playful banter suggesting friendship).

The way Viktor and Jayce interact is coded in a way that aligns more with romantic love than familial or platonic love. So, asking to associate Jayce and Viktor's relationship with a “brothers” type of relationship would mean having to disregard cultural and social codes.

| Romantic Undertones as "Canon Adjacent”.

As I previously said, the romantic undertone of Jayce and Viktor's relationship would result in a canonically established couple in any other series. So, what I see here is a double standard in romantic representation in the series. For example, many think that Ekko and Jinx are canon after (a conversation that wasn't added to the series and after...) Ekko gave his jacket to Jinx. Jayce and Viktor’s dynamic features more romantic subtext than that but they still are dismissed as "brothers". Is this homophobia? No, of course not. How could it be homophobia if Arcane shows an established lesbian couple? Well, let me tell you, lesbian representation is more socially accepted in male-dominated spaces due to fetishization, whereas romantic relationships between men are less embraced. The idea of two men in love can lead many people to question the masculinity of these men and the masculinity associated with characters like Jayce or Viktor is vital to League of Legends. Making a canonically gay male character is riskier for the franchise because, in lol, masculinity is an element that, many times, determines the election of one character over the other.

Unlike Vi and Cait, among whom (I understand) there was the belief of a romantic relationship, Jayce and Viktor were never associated in that way. So, I can see the risk.

If Linke intended to focus on male friendship, that’s fine, but dismissing other interpretations, especially in a story as emotionally charged as Jayce and Viktor’s, can come across as limiting or dismissive of queer readings, whether intentional or not. It would have been better for Christian Linke to shut up and let everyone have their own interpretation about Jayce and Viktor's bond. Instead of insisting on interpreting Jayce and Viktor’s bond as “brotherly”, it would be more inclusive and respectful to let viewers interpret their relationship freely. By insisting on framing Viktor and Jayce as just “brothers” or “friends,” the show risks falling into the “no-homo” trope, where creators deliberately steer clear of portraying characters as gay despite clear romantic subtext.

| Linke's arguments.

Arguments like "media lacks non-romantic platonic relationships" feel insincere because these type of relationships aren't underrepresented in media. That crisis never existed. Many popular shows and movies focus on deep, platonic male bonds (e.g., Sherlock Holmes, The Lord of the Rings, Supernatural). While it’s admirable to showcase strong male friendships, it’s not a groundbreaking theme. In such a case, there is a lack of representation of non-romantic platonic relationships between men and women. These type of relationships are equally rare and more deserving of advocacy, but we still have timebomb (Jinx and Ekko). In conclusion, media has no shortage of non-romantic male-male bonds, but LGBTQ+ male romantic relationships remain underrepresented. So, Christian Linke's dismissal about JayVik was even more noticeable after that argument.

Also, I would like to add that referring to a relationship as a "romantic" one doesn't diminish the importance or depth of a bond. Friendship isn’t erased by romance. In fact, many memorable romantic relationships in media are related to friendship (e.g., Anne and Gilbert from Anne with an E). But, to call it a brothers-like relationship would diminish the profound, cosmic depth of their connection because their bond is about recognition, unconditional support and shared purpose, even at the cost of the world. It’s poetic and tragic, resonating with themes of love, identity, and the human condition. The time loops, their repeated choice to find each other and their interconnected destinies make their relationship feel larger-than-life. For many viewers, this mythic quality resembles soulmate narratives rather than simple friendship or brotherhood.

Another argument that reveals Christian Linke's rejection of Jayce and Viktor as a possible romantic relationship, is the statement about Viktor being asexual. I would like to ask what is the point of revealing this information after the show ended? Representation works best when it's woven into the narrative, not dropped as an afterthought. Beyond that, I think Mr. Linke should educate himself. Experiencing little or no sexual attraction doesn't mean that romantic attraction cannot be experienced. Being asexual doesn't mean that a person can't be gay.

Asexuality: is a sexual orientation characterized by the lack of sexual attraction to others. This means that an asexual person typically doesn't experience the desire to engage in sexual activities with anyone, regardless of gender. However, asexuality exists on a spectrum. Asexuality as a spectrum refers to the understanding that asexuality encompasses a wide range of experiences and expressions of little to no sexual attraction. Rather than being a single, fixed identity, the asexual spectrum includes various orientations and preferences regarding sexual and romantic attraction.

Many asexual people form deep, meaningful romantic bonds and there's no inherent contradiction between being asexual and experiencing romantic feelings. To use Viktor’s supposed asexuality as a reason to dismiss any potential romantic undertones between him and Jayce feels reductive and dismissive—not just of their dynamic, but also of the diverse experiences of asexual individuals.

Let's end this post on a more positive note with Arcane team members who do support Jayvik.

Posts from animators + Jayce's voice actor with a JayVik fanart.

Viktor's character designer + posts from animator.

Moose is the creative director + AgentR is an animator + Mel's voice actress.

[fee224]

When loosing feels like winning

Rafe Cameron x overlooked!reader

“Cmon” you giggled, leading rafe away from midsummers and through the long sand path parted in between long grass that lead to the cove.

Rafe was chuckling behind you, holding onto your hand out of fear of losing you. The air getting colder and darker with each step as rafe helped you climb up the sand dune. “Be careful baby.” He was still chuckling at your rash movements, pulling him from the balcony with his friends and hauling him away from the country club.

You were far past tipsy, this might be the drunkest you’ve ever been. You couldn’t tell if rafe was drunk. His smile was more messy and his cheeks were a little tinted.

You kicked your heels off, leaving you in your pretty midsummers dress, it was pale and matched your nails. Your feet met the sand as rafe picked up your shoes behind you.

The feeling of the soft sand, summer evening air and rafes hands on your hips, you felt dizzy. There was a faint echo of music from the club, you tried listening but the sound of your heart was beating faster and stronger.

“Where are you taking us princess” his arms enveloped your stomach pulling you against his chest and stopping you in your tracks. Kissing your neck, you turned around, standing stiff in front of him, giggling as his lips worked all the way up to your lips.

Your hands intertwined with the collar of his shirt pulling him further into you and towards the sand floor. He was groaning in your mouth, only confirming your strong feelings towards your boyfriend.

You fell onto your knees, facing each other as he gripped the fleshy part of your hips pulling you into his growing groin.

Your right leg reached higher, pushing him to the sand by his back as you straddled his hips, legs wrapping around his thighs. Trying to focus hard on kissing him instead of any other part of this whole thing.

As his arms surrounded your waist and placed you gently onto your back and nipped at the neck line of your dress. Pulling it down with his soft lips as your back arched and head engraved into the ground, trying to repress a moan and save the embarrassment.

His head lowered, kissing your chest, seeing it all for the first time as you played with his hair, the stars fuzzy above you.

“Baby you’re so… pretty and..” his face came back above you, talking to you directly as his hands stroked on your hips “I just- you’re so sweet and I need you to know that okay?” He kissed your lips, confirming his words as you smiled up at him, embracing his kind words as he cupped your face and kissed you hard.

“Rafe?”

“Yeah?”

“I want to” you’re eyes shifted, to a more pleading look, you’re eyebrows raised slightly as he chuckled, kissing your lips again.

“Yeah me too” his lips wandered further again, sitting on his knees in between your legs as he slowly undressed you to your underwear, whispering sweet words as he did so. Complimenting everything in-front of him.

As you watched, lying on the sand, he took his dress jacket off and then the buttons on his shirt, you leaned up. Helping him starting from the bottom, your fingers met after the third button you undid, you’re eyes meeting too as you smiled shyly when he brung you back to the ground.

Nobody else around, the dark night and the sandy grass a few steps away, enclosing you and rafe in this moment.

You made a conscious effort to remember every feeling, every word. You hadn’t done this before, been this close to someone, emotionally or physically, platonically or romantically, you made sure to savour it because you weren’t sure how many moments like this you would get again in your life. With rafe. With a boy. With a boy like rafe who acted a lot like a man. More like a man then a lot of men.

Your underwear were being pulled gently down your legs as you attempted to stop shifting underneath him. You were physically trembling with nerves. You wanted it to happen, you just could hardly move with nerves.

His fingers traced your entrance, gently and slowly as you gasped. “Sorry” you giggled quietly, looking back up at the stars as rafes eyes remained staring at the beauty in front of him. “S’okay baby, don’t need to apologise”he whispered, chuckling again in an attempt to comfort you.

After warning you it might hurt, and holding your hand, he entered reluctantly slow. His body went lax as yours coiled and squeezed hard on his palm. You didn’t have to complain for rafe to pause for a moment and kiss your mouth gently.

“Tell me what to do sweetheart”

“Mmm please just keep kissing me” you inched your face up, bringing your lips to his as he kissed you back lovingly, smiling at your connection as he dropped into you lower.

Until it felt good, till you asked him to move. He was still slow and gentle, going at your pace forever if you asked him to. Little moans and mewls were coming from your mouth as you clawed at his neck.

“Rafe i- somethings happenin-” every thrust was leaving your insides closer to something that felt like maybe death.

Every deep thrust making you shiver until you were spasming to the brink of extinction, he slowed down as you came around his cock. You’re eyes shutting, as he pulled out, quickly wrapping you in his suit jacket as you laid quietly and sleeping on the sand. His hand moved to your heart to check your pulse.

He took a minute to look at you, and the situation he was so deep in. He had waited for this moment, and it was so much better than any past ride or wet dream.

He fucked you with real love and that was all he was ever going to do. Love you with his all real love. The way you peacefully lay, unconscious from the exhausting day.

He changed in a rush, trying to drag his eyes off you until he was done, picking you up like you were nothing and bringing you back to midsummers. A cigarettes after sex song playing and couples slow dancing on the floor, drinking on the balcony with womens head leaning on mans shoulder. He ignored it all but you, swiping your sandy hair out of your face as he slipped past the beach house and into the car park where he tucked you into passenger, next to your dress and heels, underneath all the blankets he could find in his truck.

“M’gonna take care of you” he kissed your forehead, shutting the truck door and getting in alongside you.

- fee xxx

[chiyoszn]

The Gap Between Us

☆Synopsis: You and Oscar have been dancing around your feelings for months — sharing glances, late-night talks, and everything but the truth. Lando, your childhood best friend, is tired of watching two emotionally constipated people pine in silence. With chaotic matchmaking attempts and zero chill, he’s determined to make one of you crack.

All it takes is a little rain, a lot of tension, and one moment too close to ignore.

☆Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Reader, Lando Norris (Platonic) x Reader

☆Warnings: None

You never meant to fall for Oscar Piastri.

He was too quiet, too careful. Your world was chaotic, loud, filled with cameras and PR disasters waiting to happen — and Oscar, somehow, always stayed just out of the way.

But that’s what made him dangerous.

Because he saw things. Remembered things. Asked how you were and actually listened to the answer. He didn’t flirt. He noticed.

And that was worse.

You could handle charm. You weren’t prepared for kind.

☆•°.☆°.•☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆.°•☆°•.☆.°•

You had Lando Norris to thank — or blame — for all of it.

He introduced you to Oscar in the McLaren garage during a preseason shoot.

“This is Y/N,” Lando had said, tugging you toward Oscar like a labrador with a stolen sock. “Best friend, part-time babysitter, full-time pain in my ass.”

Oscar had looked at you, eyes calm and curious. “Nice to meet you.”

And then he held out his hand — no cocky grin, no racing ego — and said your name back to you like he meant it.

You were doomed from that moment.

☆•°.☆°.•☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆.°•☆°•.☆.°•

Lando figured it out after Australia.

You’d flown in to surprise him. But the first person you’d hugged after the race wasn’t Lando.

It was Oscar.

And Lando saw the way Oscar’s whole face changed when you smiled at him.

Later that night, on the rooftop of the hotel, Lando cornered you with two beers and zero tact.

“Be honest,” he said, “how long have you been into Oscar?”

You choked. “I’m not.”

He raised a brow. “Y/N.”

You looked away. “It’s not like that.”

Lando laughed. “It’s exactly like that.”

☆•°.☆°.•☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆.°•☆°•.☆.°•

From there, he made it his personal mission to get you two together before summer break.

His tactics were... questionable.

Suddenly, Oscar was always wherever you were.

“Oh, you’re going to the simulator? Oscar’s there.”

“You need a ride to the track? Oscar offered.”

“You’re grabbing lunch? Oscar’s already at the café!”

You confronted Lando after he sent Oscar to pick you up from the airport — in Budapest.

“You’re not slick,” you told him.

“I’m desperate,” he said. “Watching you two is like watching a romantic comedy where both leads are allergic to feelings.”

☆•°.☆°.•☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆.°•☆°•.☆.°•

But feelings were there.

You just buried them under shared coffees and glances held too long. Inside jokes from media days. The way Oscar always waited for you to laugh before he did, like your reaction mattered more than the punchline.

You were falling. Fast.

And Oscar... well. You couldn’t tell.

He didn’t flirt. He didn’t text hearts or tease. But when you were around, he softened. And when you weren’t — he looked for you.

Still, nothing happened.

Because you were scared.

And he was careful.

And both of you were stupid.

☆•°.☆°.•☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆.°•☆°•.☆.°•

Until Monaco.

Oscar crashed in FP3 — nothing major, just a bump into the wall. But when you saw it live on screen, your heart stopped.

You bolted to the garage, pushing through media and mechanics until you found him sitting on a stool, helmet off, eyes down.

You crouched in front of him, breathless. “Are you okay?”

Oscar blinked up at you, startled.

“Y/N—yeah. I’m okay.”

But your hand was on his knee and your eyes were wide and Lando was in the corner mouthing KISS HIM like an idiot.

Oscar looked at you.

You looked at him.

The silence stretched.

And then—

“Sorry,” you whispered, pulling back. “I just... I freaked out.”

He caught your wrist before you could stand.

“It’s okay,” he said quietly. “I would’ve done the same.”

You didn’t ask what he meant.

But you felt it.

☆•°.☆°.•☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆.°•☆°•.☆.°•

The next week, everything changed.

You stopped pretending.

You sat next to him at team dinners. You shared headphones in the hospitality lounge. He started texting you good luck before your meetings and “sweet dreams” before bed.

Still — neither of you said anything.

Until Spa.

☆•°.☆°.•☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆.°•☆°•.☆.°•

It was pouring.

You were soaked to the bone, stranded outside the paddock hospitality with Oscar, huddled under the world’s smallest awning.

“Lando’s gonna pay for this,” you muttered.

Oscar gave you a look. “You think he locked us out on purpose?”

You turned. “He’s Lando. Of course he did.”

He smiled, teeth showing. “He’s not exactly subtle.”

“No,” you said. “But he’s not wrong either.”

Oscar tilted his head. “About what?”

You hesitated.

Then, quietly: “You and me.”

The air shifted.

Rain pounded the awning. Oscar looked at you like he was trying to solve a puzzle.

“You think there’s a ‘you and me’?”

You swallowed. “Don’t you?”

A long pause.

Then he exhaled, like he’d been holding it in for months.

“I’ve been trying not to,” he said. “Because if I start, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”

You stared at him.

Then you took a step closer.

“Start,” you whispered.

And he did.

☆•°.☆°.•☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆°•.☆•.°☆.•°☆.°•☆°•.☆.°•

☆Bonus:

Lando walked into the garage the next morning, saw you in Oscar’s hoodie, and groaned.

“FINALLY.”

You and Oscar didn’t even pretend to deny it.

You were too busy holding hands.

And smiling like idiots

[bloomshroomz]

Aroallos are often treated as inherently "more sexual" than other allosexuals. Here's why that assumption happens, and why it's bullshit.

Relationships are often treated as inherently hierarchical and strictly defined, due to amatonormativity and a-spec erasure. It usually goes something like this:

You can't have sex without romance. Sex is "dirty" and needs to be "balanced out" or "justified" with romance. Sex is exclusively physically stimulating, and therefore shallow, unless done in emotional service to romance.

Wanting to have sex with people outside of a romantic context is seen as "using" people, inherently. You're "using" them for their body, because you "don't care enough" to love them romantically. Your desires are deemed to be inherently predatory.

You can't have romance without sex. Romance needs to be "justified" with sex, otherwise it's "just platonic."

Wanting romance without sex is seen as "failing" your partner.

Sex and romance are to happen exclusively between two people.

Romantic relationships are more important than all other relationships, except for maybe family. And remember, sex is strictly confined to romance, which therefore means that sex is also more important than nonsexual/nonromantic connection.

Friendships are always less important than romance, and therefore, less important than sex as well. They exist at the bottom of the hierarchy. That's why we have phrases like "more than friends" to describe romance.

In other words, sex = romance, and sex/romance > friendship.

When you take away the romantic elements, you're left with this:

Romance is no longer there to "balance out/justify" the sex, making the sex apparently "more sexual" and "more dirty" and "less emotional" than it would be if it were romantic.

Your sexual desires are deemed inherently predatory.

Sex takes precedent over friendship and nonromantic emotional intimacy in the original hierarchy. Therefore, sex must take precedent over all forms of emotional connection if you're interested in sex without romance, and sex also cannot spark emotional stimulation or connection on its own.

Due to the previous points, you get reduced to a largely "physical" creature, with few or no emotional needs or desires. You are also assumed to disregard the emotional needs and desires of others.

Friendships are still less important than sex. So, even if your friends are the people you're having sex with, it's implied that you don't care about your friends, and you only value them for their bodies. Sex is an insult to your friendships.

Of course, this is bullshit. All of these "rules" are bullshit.

This is how it actually works:

You can have sex without romance. Sex is not "dirty" does not need to be "balanced out" or "justified" by romance. Sex can be emotionally stimulating and fulfilling without romance (though it doesn't have to be, and that's also fine).

There is nothing predatory about having sexual desires/intent without romantic desires/intent. There is nothing predatory about having sex outside of romance, so long as everyone consents.

You can have romance without sex. Romance does not need to be "justified" via sex.

You are not "failing" your partner by not wanting to have sex. You might be sexually incompatible if sex is something they want, but that is not "failure" on anyone's part.

Sex and romance can happen between as many people as you like, as long as everyone is on the same page about things.

Romantic relationships, as well as familial relationships, are not inherently more important than any other type of relationship.

Friendships are not inherently less important than other types of relationships. There is no inherent hierarchy.

Sex is not an insult to friendship. Having sex with your friends does not mean you only value them for their body.

Wanting sex without romance does not inherently mean that sex takes precedent over everything else. For some people, it does, and that's fine. But that's not usually the case, and it should not be assumed to be the case.

Quoting some stuff from myself and others:

People tend to assume that aroallos are always hypersexual, or always loveless, or always prioritize sex above all else when it comes to their relationships with people. And all of those things are valid experiences, but they don't apply to me personally. I've been trying to put it into words... People think that a lack of romantic attraction necessitates an amplified sexual attraction. Like just because I'm aro, I must be "more sexual" than other allosexual people. It seems like people think sexuality has to be "balanced out" with romance. But I'm not particularly sexual; I'm just not ace. [...] there's nothing wrong with prioritizing or emphasizing sexuality. But that's not an inherent aspect of being aroallo, and it doesn't describe me personally. The primary purpose of my relationships is emotional connection. Sex is just a cool thing that I may or may not do with people.

- Myself [Feb. 1, 2024]

I hate that when I announce that I'm aro, but not ace, people are like "yes fuck nasty I respect it 😏😏" like okay girl sure I do that but do you think I don't experience longing for human connection ? You heard non/aromantic and thought "wow, you must be so good with one night stands no emotional attachment whatsoever". Like no, I still (and you're not gonna believe this guys) care about the people I may or may not sleep with ?? Hello ??

- max-nicoxposts [June 4, 2024]

Alloaro culture is always being expected to either be asexual or hypersexual; nuance was something meant for others I suppose.

- Anon [May 28, 2024]

Aroalo culture is someone assuming I'm ace when I say I'm aro, and when I say I'm actually aro and bi they react with "so you're just a predator"

- Anon [May 27, 2024]

there's nothing wrong with being a man and wanting to sleep with men and not date them. it doesn't make you proof queer men are sex-crazed. there's nothing wrong with being a woman and wanting to sleep with women and not date them. it doesn't make you proof queer women are predatory. being alloaro doesn't make you a derogatory stereotype. you deserve respect, no matter what

- pansyboybloom [Jan. 16, 2024]

So much of the arophobia directed towards aromantic heterosexual men seems to be rooted in willful ignorance about what aromanticism actually is and how allosexual aromanticism differs from sexual objectification. Aromanticism is experiencing little to no romantic attraction towards others. That’s it. It isn’t the same as sending unsolicited dick picks to strangers or reducing women to their bodies. When a misogynistic man disregards a woman’s personhood in favor of treating her as a sexual object, it isn’t because he doesn’t experience romantic attraction to women. It’s because he chooses not to value women as people.

- heartless-aro [Dec. 30, 2023] [I highly recommend reading the full post. I only included one section here due to length.]

and if you're aromantic, you also have to be asexual. because sex without romance is immoral and dirty and abusive. and every aroallo is an invader who's trying to destroy your perfect, pure, sex-negative aspec community. if an aromantic is not asexual, they are not a valid aromantic. if you've ever found yourself wondering why aplatonics and aroallos alike have their own small communities instead of just being a part of the wider aspec community, this is why. you drove us away. and your acceptence of aromanticism is still entirely conditional.

- thermodynamic-comedian [May 29, 2024] [also recommend reading the full post]

[matchatarot]

Your highest self is the most divine and accomplished version of yourself, Bunny! Connecting with your higher self gives you access to your inner wisdom & your soul’s essence. To pick a pile don’t overthink it; choose the one that draws you in the most while thinking about the reading’s intent. Only take what resonates!

Love, Matcha ♡

☆ masterlist

✿ message from your higher self part one

1 ₊˚.༄

Your higher self is grateful for how in tune you are with them. They’re asking you to continue fostering this connection with them. They’re sending you synchronicities because they want you to realize how magic you are. You’re manifesting your highest path and they’re proud of you. Your higher self wants you to step into your sensuality, your divine feminine or divine masculine. You’re currently attracting a very important life partner, so they want you to feel ready and empowered when you meet them. They’re encouraging you to continue on your spiritual path and confirming to you that you’ve been receiving the right spiritual download from your spirit team. You’re very witty! You see even their most subtle signs. They want you to use more of your practical wit in your career. They’re also wanting you to be more competitive when moving towards your dream. Focus your action taking on your goals! You’ve given a lot of yourself emotionally to your peers, though that’s great they want you to focus on your career goals now. You might be nearing the end of a project right now and they’re telling you that now is the time to complete it. Trust your intuition, just start doing it and the action you need to take will come intuitively. If you’re not doing any particular project yet, they want you to go ahead and start one. Even if you don’t understand where you’re heading, the next step will become clear while you’re working on it.

Archangel Raphael, swan, 888

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2 ⊹˚˖ ☆

Your higher self is reminding you that even powerful leaders need to rest sometimes, Bunny! They’re thankful for the hard work you’ve been putting in, it is profoundly impacting your future. They’re proud of you for working so hard on your mental health. They know you’ve been through a very tough time but you’ve overcome it thanks to you getting educated on your mental health issues and researching how to help yourself. They’re also proud of any knowledge you’re currently mastering. They see how you’ve healed so much, especially your solar plexus chakra, you are motivated and self-confident! They’re encouraging you to go towards love, either romantic or platonic. Your highest self is telling you you’re ready to open your heart to others. They’re encouraging you to trust and give love a chance. You hold so much power, love and light that would be very good for the collective, so it’s time to share it! “Look at you, you’re beautiful! Thank you for being yourself! You work so hard but I want you to see how just being yourself is enough. Yes, you’re the best employee or the best student. But you’re also a wonderful lover and friend.”

6, 77, panda, jade, santa baby by Ariana Grande

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3 ‧��˚ ♡

Eyes are on you in the spiritual realm and in the physical as well! Your highest self is referring to this moment in your life as one of the most profound transformations you’ve ever been through. If it hasn’t started yet, your highest self is announcing to you that it will very soon. A powerful divinely orchestrated moment is taking place for you, Bunny. It’s an event that will eventually make you step into your higher self. They don’t want to reveal too much but soon pretty much everything in your life will shift. It’ll be because of a mindset shift triggered by a specific event that spirit doesn’t want to reveal. You’ll completely change the way you look at life and you’ll finally have the guts to admit to yourself that you don’t feel fulfilled with most of the aspects of your life. It’s not a realization tinted with despair, it’s about self-respect and self-growth. This realization will change every aspect of your social or romantic life. You’ll cut off people from your life or completely change the way you approach your relationship with them. You’ll have no remorse towards those decisions, making those decisions for yourself will feel empowering. Your higher self is recognizing that in the past you’ve felt like you were not good enough and you felt like you always needed to do more and better to be deserving of love. They’re telling you that after these events, you’ll be around people with secure attachment styles and you’ll feel fulfilled with your social life. Feeling like you’re spending time with people who actually bring love and value to your life. This next message is more specific so don’t force it to resonate if it doesn’t, but some of you are being isolated by a toxic masculine and your highest self wants you to realize that. It’s possible you’re either a victim of an abusive dad, a toxic boyfriend, or a mean boss… or it could also be that your life right now is suffering from patriarchy’s impact and it’s affecting your relationships.

Don’t take a shot every time I say life, aha!

pegasus, 9, 10, selenite

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decks used : animaux totems by Else Oreve & Pricilla Moore, modern witch tarot deck by Lisa Steele, mystical wisdom by Gaye Guthrie

☆ photo credits go to their rightful owner