#shout out to aplatonics

[unearthed-27]

shout out to all the aro people out there. shits tough when no one realises you exist.

while I'm at it, shout out to aplatonic and afamilial people. we don't get enough rep.

no hate to ace people or aroace people, you just see them more than aros.

so go fuck people my friends and go crazy with all the people you don't love! Happy pride yall, love is a lie 🤘🤘🤘

[twistedblunderhand]

Malleus would LOVE a qpr. a close relationship where the people basically get to make their own rules? where the point is partly that it defies what typical relationships look like? where they can be committed without being put into boxes? ((QPRs arent necessarily just for aromantic or aspec people ofc, but it also goes well with our aro Malleus hc. he is green, so he is aro /j /silly))

[neptune-scythe]

hugest shout-out to heartless a-specs, afamilials, aplatonics, loveless folks, repulsed a-specs and whatever the micro label is where your aspec identity is tied to neurodivergence/disability I shamefully never remember what that one's called

but yeah special shout out for pride month

[auggator]

shoutout to grumpy aplatonics, shout out to aplatonics who don't like having friends, shoutout to aplatonics that fit the cold stereotype, shoutout to aplatonics who are friendless, shoutout to aplatonics who want to be friendless but can't, shoutout to aplatonics that are in romantic relationships, shoutout to aplatonics that are aplatonic because of neurodivergency or trauma or mental illness, shoutout to aplatonics who are objectum and their objects are their only friends, shoutout to aplatonics who don't come out because they don't have the energy to explain their aplatonicism, shoutout to the aplatonics who don't come out because they're scared of others' reactions, shoutout to aplatonics who are only friends are their headmates, shoutout to aplatonics who are only friends with fictional characters, shoutout to aplatonics who can only make friends online, shoutout to aplatonics that do like making friends, shoutout to aplatonics who have a lot of friends, shoutout to aplatonics

[100cat]

Shout out to aplatonics that do experience romantic attraction. No one talks about it, but I see y’all, and I think it’s cool 💅👍

[the-meme-monarch]

shouts out to that ask from like a year or two ago where someone asked me about squishes and i was like “a platonic crush? like wanting to be someone’s friend? yeah I dont think I’ve ever felt that” did anyone see the aplatonic flag slowly fade in

[transmascapollo]

the fact that aromantic has been trending for multiple days...... we're so cool

anyways shout out to cishet aro people shout out to aroallos shout out to aplatonics shout out to people with complicated relationships with their sexuality and lack thereof

im proud of yall <3 /p

[serahblue]

It's PRIDE MONTH!!!

Shout out to those who are:

Gay

Lesbian

Intersex

Nonbinary

Trans

Asexual

Aplatonic

Aromantic

Agender

Xenogender

Pansexual

Bisexual

Questioning

Polyamorous

Genderfluid

Unlabeled

Stay safe and enjoy this month :D

[our-demiromantic-experience]

shout out to demiromantics

Shout out to demiromantics who are asexual!

Shout out to demiromantics who are allosexual!

Shout out to demiromantics who are aplatonic!

Shout out to demiromantics who are afamilial!

Shout out to demiromantics who are aaesthetic!

Shout out to demiromantics who are closeted!

Shout out to demiromantics who are out!

Shout out to demiromantics who are questioning!

Shout out to demiromantics who use the SAM!

Shout out to demiromantics who do not use the SAM!

Shout out to demiromantics who are romance adverse!

Shout out to demiromantics who are romance favorable!

Shoutout to demiromantics who are romance ambivalent!

Shout out to demiromantics who are something else!

[papercranesandpride]

Obviously coming onto an aplatonic post and saying something along the lines of "you can't turn being a friendless loser into an LGBT identity" is bad and people shouldn't do it. But when the post in question is my post? It's also deeply funny. A friendless loser? Oh no. No, you clearly have not met me in real life. Not only do I have friends, I am apparently just dripping with charisma. Everyone who meets me adores me. I don't especially try to be likeable, and in fact I often try to keep to myself, but somehow it just happens. Everyone who meets me decides I'm one of the best person to ever walk the earth for reasons I don't really understand.

Obviously there are plenty of aplatonics who are ""unlikeable"" or socially awkward or who other people find off-putting, whether that's their natural demeanor or they're neurodivergent or they're actively trying to drive people away. Those people are cool as fuck. Shout out to them. However, I am decidedly not one of them. So if you direct aplatonic hate at me? I am going to laugh at you. The person you're calling a loser does in fact have a +5 in charisma and more friends than most of the alloplatonics that it knows. And despite all that, it still has never felt platonic attraction in its life.

[tristinian]

shout out to aplatonic people. shout out to aroaceapls and allosexual aplatonics and alloromantic aplatonics. shout out to apl people with friends and apl people without friends. should out to demiplatonic and aplflux and greyplatonic people and everyone who has an apl-spec microidentity. shout out to closeted aplatonics and out aplatonics. shout out to "cold" aplatonics and "buzzkill" aplatonics and "annoying" aplatonics. shout out to autistic aplatonics and mentally ill aplatonics and dusabled aplatonics. shout out to transfem apls and transmasc apls and transneu apls. shout out to black aplatonics and asian aplatonics and latino aplatonics and indigenous aplatonics and pacific islander aplatonics. shout out to muslim aplatonics and jewish aplatonics and hindu aplatonics and buddhist aplatonics. shout out to aplatonic teens and adults and people of all ages.

every single apl person is amazing and cool and makes the world a better, more vibrant place 👍

[cloudboundcritters]

shout out to aplatonics and afamilials

[aromanticmina]

The 5 common questions people have about aplatonics

so, I've seen so many blogs on the aplatonic tag having to answer the same questions over and over again, so I figured I could make a list so that people can have an easier time getting to the answers they are looking for! (and apl people can just link back to this post if they're asked one of this questions, if they want to)

What does aplatonic mean?

Aplatonic is a term that refers to the lack of (or experiencing little) platonic attraction or platonic love, it can also mean having trouble forming platonic relationships due to trauma or being neurodivergent.

2. Does that mean aplatonic people don't have friends?

Not necessarily, there are aplatonic people who don't (desire to) have friends or wouldn't label any relationship they have as friendship (even though, to an outsider, some would seem as one), for numbers of reasons.

However, there are some aplatonic people who do have friends, but they're not really close to them/don't feel love for them.

love and care are different things, you can care for someone and want the best for them even when you're not close enough to them to love them.

3. But if aplatonic people don't have friends, does that mean they don't socialize with anyone?

Nope! friendships aren't the only way you can socialize with people. Family, classmates, coworkers, lovers, neighbors, those are all people you have have nice conversations with!

4. Are all aplatonics also aromantic?

Not all of them, while it's true that there are a lot of people who are both aro and apl (see: me), there are aplatonics who are alloromantic (feel romantic attraction) or just don't label their romantic orientation.

(fun fact, the original coiner of the aplatonic label is an alloromantic asexual!)

5. Are all aplatonics also loveless?

Again, not all of them, there is a great overlap between the aplatonic and loveless community (shout out to my loveless apls!), but not all aplatonics identify as loveless.

Some love in a romantic way, familiar way, alterous way (if you don't know what alterous attraction is, I recommend looking it up!) or just in a completely unique but ultimately queer way (hi, it's me, I'm lovequeer).

I still don't really get it...

That's okay, you don't have to understand something to respect it, if you're still curious and want to learn more about us, there are multiple blogs on the #aplatonic tag sharing their different experiences with aplatonicism, you just have to know where to look!

And remember! the Aspec includes the aplatonic spectrum, you can't say you support aspecs if you don't support aplatonic people as well!

[your-bigender-big-brother]

I'm always thinking about people who feel isolated or forgotten because of their identities.

I'm aplatonic, and I feel like I'm missing out when I realize that I don't have anyone I feel comfortable enough to call a friend.

I also feel like there are so few people out there talking about their transmaverine experience. When I post about what it's like to be transmav, it feels a lot like shouting into the void.

I hope you always find someone to relate to or a community to connect with. It's nice when we don't feel so alone.

- Your Bigender Big Brother 💙💚

[schizosamwincester]

So, there's this specific conversation that aspec people who don't know they're aspec tend to have. Someone comes to them for relationship advice, and the relationship sounds very bad, and the aspec person, having no understanding of why the other person would want this relationship in the first place, ends up saying, "you should just break up with them/stop being friends with them/cut them off." I had it way, way, way too many times with a specific friend about their girlfriend back before I knew I was aro (honestly they really should have told me to fuck off), and just a week or so ago a friend had it with me about my family before literally going "wait. You actually like, feel a connection with your family and want to be around them?" (Shout out to her for discovering she's afamilial)

Anyway, I bring this up because Dean Winchester also had one of these conversations in Skin (1x04):

I think this conversation may be the most aplatonic conversation anyone's ever had. Dean simply does not understand why cutting off friends is a big deal. I'm pretty sure he has no idea that platonic feelings even exist (which, no judgment to him. I only learned they existed a year ago). So to him? Yeah of course it's easy to just let friendships go. Once they're no longer in front of him, friends might as well stop existing at all.

A few other things to highlight:

Dean keeps using the term "buddy." I didn't really realize until I was looking at this scene how "buddy" is such a belittling term for a friend. The fact that Dean keeps using it suggests that he doesn't actually think of Sam's college friendships as real relationships with any actual meaning.

I also just need to draw attention to how unsympathetic Dean's face is. To him, cutting off all your friends is absolutely nothing. He doesn't even try to show any pity for Sam. He can suggest something that would be devastating for most people with a smile, like the emotional damage of it has never even occurred to him.

Finally, here's what to me is the real nail in the coffin. Sam knows Dean better than anyone else in the world. And how does he cap the scene?

Now, antisocial generally does not equal aplatonic (I myself am very social, it's just that I see people less as relationships and more as neat activities), but in this context? That's pretty much what Sam means. Not interested specifically in friends. After all, he knows damn well that Dean can be sociable when he wants to be—Dean charms countless strangers when they're working together, and Sam has seen him win over God knows how many women in bars. There's only one area Sam knows Dean doesn't do, and that's friends.

So hey, don't believe me about Dean being aplatonic. Believe Sam.

[antifathomable-shapeshifter]

for me, aplatonic isn't about hating anyone. it's just that I kinda don't care.

like if I'm making small talk with someone, I'll smile and nod and get a little emotional energy boost if I'm lucky, but when the conversations over, I just... don't care anymore.

"not caring" is equated with "hating", but what I'm trying to say is that I'm not feeling anything about them or our conversation. it goes away.

and if someone's having a bad day, im sympathetic. I care a lot about everyone being safe and happy. it's a moral principle of mine. but that's the thing, right? I don't care about their problems because it's their problems, I care because it's their problems

do you see what I mean?

I just kinda. don't pay attention to other people. I don't have a friendship radar. I interact with people when they interact with me (in the socially / interpersonally acceptable ways I've learned intentionally) but outside of that?

idk. there's only a handful of people that I've connected with on a level deeper than acquaintances. and by that I mean. 10. 10 people throughout my childhood, adolescence, and young adult years.

the number of people who have uniquely, specifically impacted my life in significant ways can be counted on two hands. everyone else is easily replaced.

I get lonely. I feel bad about this. but it's a part of who I am at a deep enough level that I don't want to change it. I don't want to risk breaking myself.

idk. I'm just not really capable of love the way others define it. most of the time I don't care, and when it do care, it's in weird, specific ways that are probably be off putting to some. and try to explain this, and because I don't actively hate everyone, people (that one therapist) assume I'm just shy or insecure or whatever. but I'm not. I'm fairly self confident when I'm not terrified of being misconstrued or offending someone on accident. shout out to my npd lol.

it's hard to say "I just don't care" without people hearing "I'm a soulless monster". and sometimes I'm people too.