#Demisexual

[penis-eater]

Didn't know what any of that even was -> cis lesbian -> demi girl lesbian -> demi girl bi -> nonbinary bi -> nonbinary ace -> nonbinary bi demiromantic -> nonbinary bi

I think at least, not totally sure. Maybe there was just unlabeled somewhere in there at some point but :P

LGBTQ+ folk what was your gender/sexuality pipeline?

[scretladyspider]

demisexuality can be so hard to explain because it’s misconstrued as you just wanting to trust the other person before you have sex with them. and I get why the misconception happens. But demisexuality differs in that there isn’t sexual attraction at all before that bond forms.

I think what people have difficulty with is the idea that there are people out there who aren’t experiencing sexual attraction at all until a certain point, if ever, because we’re taught that sex, libido, and sexual attraction are all the same, both in and out of queer spaces.

And when you’re learning about asexuality and demisexuality, you may learn that people have romantic and aesthetic attraction separately from sexual attraction, and that sexual and romantic attraction aren’t necessarily intertwined, and that may challenge your worldview on sex.

But “I trust you enough to have sex with you” isn’t the same as “I’m not sexually attracted to anyone but you, and the reason I’m sexually attracted to you now after we’ve established this close bond is literally because of the bond of trust we’ve been able to form”.

It’s easy to see how those can get conflated. On the surface, if you’re unfamiliar with asexuality, they may sound the same. But it’s important to acknowledge the difference between “no sex until I trust you” and “no sexual attraction unless I trust you and maybe not even then”.

Demisexuality is housed under the asexuality spectrum. It’s part of the gray area between being allosexual and asexual. It’s part of why the definition for asexuality includes “little to no sexual attraction”. It’s a mostly asexual experience with an asterisk.

While being demisexual may have impacts on a persons sexual activity, even demisexuals have a varied relationship to the act of participating in sex. Libido and sexual attraction are not always intertwined either, which can make telling the difference tricky.

I think of sexual attraction as libido that has a compass. Since I rarely ever experience sexual attraction, but do have libido, it’s noticeable for me when that libido actually has a direction to go, rather than being a floating, nebulous, independent thing.

Remember, not everyone is demisexual. There’s a difference between waiting to have sex and not having sexual attraction at all until a certain point. This also inherently ties demisexuality to romantic attraction and relationships, and not all demisexuals are alloromantic.

But if you read what demisexuality is and think “everyone is like that” or “that’s just being a woman”, you either 1) are demisexual 2) don’t understand what it is or 3) both. And it’s okay to not know. Just as long as you’re willing to try to learn.

[itsaceokay]

I feel like people don't often fully appreciate how hard dating can be for demisexuals.

It just hit me the other day when I found out that most people are kissing by the first date and having sex by the third and to me that is just wild. And apparently, some people wait up to three months before having sex and that's seen as like a really long time and I'm sorry but is everyone okay???

After three dates a person is still a stranger and after three months they're at most an acquaintance - and people are not willing to wait longer and you'll be seen as unreasonable if you want to wait for a year or more??

[shiftingwithmars]

Fuck off🖕

[beepsandboops76]

This is also without even getting into the nuances of ace and aro like the favorable/indifferent/avoidant/repulsed thing so that's more complexities on top of everything that makes it even more isolating. And for some it doesn't change and for others it does. Mine goes within the range of like favorable and really indifferent. And like I'm demisexual and demiromantic but also lesbian and i like being flirted with by other girls. but at the same time like its not guaranteed that i'll feel much of anything besides “aw that's sweet thank you (flirts back)”. I like flirting, sometimes i don't have the energy to talk much and i feel like i should get better at it but still. And then like you start ruminating "am i leading this person on because of the romantic attraction that may or may not come?"

It is kinda fucked how being ace or aro pretty much automatically means you’re isolated, even from your queer peers.

[zombie-jed]

Diversity win! The horniest person you know is on the asexual spectrum

[sminny-wew]

It's so funny being a shipper when you're aroace it's like you're an anthropologist, like hey fictional blorbos who live in my head let me study your bonds under a microscope and take notes on what happens when I throw Valentines Day into your enclosure

[angelellipsis-devilofdots]

interact with this post if you believe aspec identities are queer

trying to prove a point (not forced!!)

[nykenima]

when i want a cuddle I MEAN I WANT TO CUDDLE I I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO YOUR PANTS 😭🙏🙏🙏🙏

When will people realize that aroace people may not crave sexual and romantic relationships, but they can and probably will be lonely and want to find comfort in having friends and hugging/cuddling them.

I saw a post saying that they had a friend that "claims to be ace, but wants to cuddle with me when we watch movies" and that they "think they might have a crush on me" LOCK IN!!!! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROMANTIC/SEXUAL/PLATONIC AFFECTION!!

[amodwithoutamark]

I didn't like the circle design so I made it better! :D

[luxthestrange]

WHB Incorrect quotes#82 Donuts

Asmo: What do you love?~

Ace/Demi!Mc: Donuts!

Asmo: Again, what was your first love?~

Ace/Demi!Mc: Donuts!

Asmo:...More EMOTIONAL, What makes your heart SKIP?~

Ace/Demi!Mc*Blinks and grabs his cheeks, squeezing them*...DONUTS!

Donuts do make my heart skip-

[remyunart]

happy pride to our demi king Neil Josten ily baby (my art for ABaderneiros' demisexual day)

[natstky]

Second round of Salvadoran Nahua pride stickers, featuring aspec identities.

Identities and traje:

Aromantic - Acajutla

Demisexual - Apaneca

Aroace - Witzapan

Asexual - Tepecoyo

Available on my redbubble under the umetunal collection.

[icantpickausernamesorry]

shout out to the queer lovlies i couldn't wish during pride month I adore you all I hope you succeed in life and good things come to you! it's tough for me as well, but im relatively very well off compared to most closeted queer kids, though i am one. im a minor, and I honestly cannot stress how beautiful it has been for me to know that I have even a small possibility of living a normal life after I come out.

many queer kids are homeless, or in a bad state because of conti ued unsupourtiveness of thier friends and family. and I cannot donate to them, but please donate if you are able (i also dont know many organisations but i WILL, but the TREVOR PROJECT IS VERY GOOD!!!!!!)

to everyone out there- i love you so so so much. to every queer closeted kid- i love you and am one of you. I wish you all the best in life.

life for the ones who died before you, love to make life better for those who come after.

love is love, darling

[prideknights]

EVERYONE(!) I’m blazing this post because at this pace we might barely hit 1,000,000 signatures—or just fall short. PLEASE reblog this post, no matter where you are from, so we can reach as many EU citizens as possible and end this horrible practice!