#so . thats why i worked on this. and then i got stressed over this 💀💀💀

[todayisafridaynight]

[honeytonedhottie]

what i learned during my reflection period⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧖🏽‍♀️🎀

as you may or may not have noticed, i've been hiatus for most of the month now. and i disappeared because of personal reasons, and one of those reasons being that i felt i needed to reflect. here are some things that i've learned and realized during my reflection time.

this is quite personal to me, but i wanted to kind of have a heart to heart with you guys and im sure that someone is probably struggling with what i mention in this post so i hope this is comforting...💬🎀

WHY I FELT STUCK IN MY LOA JOURNEY ;

i was literally doing the most and it felt like such a chore at the time. i would force myself to affirm in ways that felt unnatural, i was letting myself get bullied by the 3D, even though i KNOW i dont have to do a thing. i was putting way too much effort in the wrong way.

WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;

i took a step back and RELAXED. i did what felt natural again and enjoyed manifesting again and because of that i've had success story after success story...💬🎀

DOING A SELF AUDIT ;

i wanted to take a second and expose toxic behaviors and patterns that i noticed i exhibit and that have started to affect not only my physical but my mental in a very very negative way.

i'd been struggling with regulating my emotions and managing them so i was a walking ball of stress 💀. a beautiful ball of stress but stress nonetheless. i just felt so stuck.

WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;

i went through the motions and after having a total meltdown and doing a bit of journalling i released everything, giving myself a completely clean slate once more.

i did a bit of a refresh and did miscellaneous things to make myself feel like im starting again. things like self concept work, changing the theme of my phone, taking an everything shower + bubble bath, having a pinterest makeover and getting a trim on my hair.

i forced myself to drink more water, and go for long walks not only to get some sunlight but to get my heart pumping and push myself out of the depressive rot that i had been in for months internally, but had pushed itself out as soon as summer started.

THE DEATH OF A SITUATIONSHIP ;

i got really attached to this boy 😭 but he was such a piece of work. like he did that hot and cold shit, but i rly rly liked him so i ignored the obvious red flags. but i got to a point where i just felt used and embarrassed. upon further reflection i think i didn't wanna let him go because he was so fine 💀, like 6'5 muscular kind of fine.

no matter how handsome a guy is if he has an ugly personality or if he just treats u badly then hes not fine at all...💬🎀

WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;

i went no contact. thats like the easiest way to get over someone i think lol. i went no contact and i just manifested better things for myself. like being asked out by a bunch of guys and wingstop to comfort myself 🧋

also i focused on what i got out of the whole thing. i got the redirection that i wanted, PLUS i was filled with inspiration for my song writing.

SONG RECOMMENDATIONS ;

i want war (BUT I NEED PEACE) - kali uchis

eternal sunshine - jhene aiko

let you go - clara la san

needy - ariana grande

AT THE END OF THE DAY ;

i wanted to include this section as a reminder that everyone goes through shit. things happen. its okay to be affected by it and its okay to be sad. the most important thing is to not dwell on it too long. remember that you are not a victim and remember how amazing you are BECAUSE YOU ARE. you are amazing and no matter what happens, regardless of anything your gonna be okay and your gonna be in a much better place, it starts with putting one foot in front of the other...💬🎀 (love honey)

[melodyglow-blog]

Why i think Dabi / Touya is still alive after chapter 430

#spoilers ahead

Ok first of all,this shit was so ass, i dont even wanna think about how the final chapter looks like it was set in a dark AU ending where nothing changes and rei looks older than ever, still pushing enjis wheelchair for the past 8 years🤮, shoto being a workaholic (and soon being num ONE). Shouldnt he be more focused on his friendships??

Plus, no mention of his siblings that his arc has been working on reconnecting him with. 🤮 So like...Enji won? Shoto will be number one after all wtff..

But id rather think about the fact that touya could still be alive after the timeskip. Here are a few reasons why..

No gravestone shown, no image of a shrine or a burial, hell..no mention of his death AT ALL unlike with toga or shigaraki, erasers friend and midnight...hell, deku even hallucinates shiggy. If touya was truly dead i feel like we wouldve seen a panel of his shrine or ANY indication if his death.

Society and tech have improved so much that quirkless deku can be a hero, so theres no way that touya, with a partial healing ice quirk isnt kept alive.

He was last shown to be 'slowly marching towards death' like BITCH thats literally what being alive is, we are all slowly marching towards death����

This man is allergic to dying and i do believe that hori left his outcome ambiguous for a reason, if hori wanted to show touya dead he 100% would.

Shoto smiling..like bro would be smiling like that after his oldest brother passed away, like i said, intentionally hori is avoiding any mention of Touya, even natuso is not shown or mentioned, just that shoto has become a workaholic and on his way to being number one...

Plus the panel text is from Deku's pov. So its not todoroki's internal monolouge thats revealed, only his expression and hopefully thats an indicator that his siblings are ok.

Hori has 100% lost the plot lmao, the ending is so convoluted and out of character that theres simply no in universe reason why Touya would be straight up dead. Making shoto mention his father instead of his brothers or sister or MOTHER was certainly a choice🤮🤮🤮.

Old rei pushing enjis wheelchair is sickening and i dont wanna believe that shes still his maid if she has had to mourn touya a second time, its gross and literally a dark au cause wtf.

Since none of shotos siblings were mentioned, this empty space of detail lets us assume that shoto isnt stressing about them. If touya was dead we would see him visiting his shrine, in japanese culture, visiting gravestones and praying to shrines of the dead is symbollic.

I firmly believe that hori either got seriously sick (he said his ears were leaking fluid) or got pressured by his team (he said he cried when his management made him scrap an extra comic page he drew of dabi and sceptic on the past) , i believe that at this point, he didnt have a lot of creative control over his work and wasnt allowed to dedicate more panels to the LOV. HE HAD to prioritise enji and the characters at the top of the poll. When touya came 4th on the final poll, it was too late, his story became enji's story even though hori confessed that he had initially written enji to be killed off in the high end nomu fight.

The story is such a retconned mess, theres no way he wasnt planning shiggy and touya to be SAVED physically, literally touyas last panel is of him crying alone lmaoo.

IN BOTH of Horikoshi's previous serialized series the villains lived and got to reform and atone at the end..

But yeah, my end verdict is that hori intentionally didnt mention touya for the fans to theorise about him living💀

BONUS ~ i saw a post mentioning this, There is also a throwaway panel of the Doctor "curing the uncurable" - which could refer to Touya

[sweetiepoison]

Famous Baby (Social Media Blurb)

Note: a little sneak peek into the next part 🫣

Liked by yourusername and others

latenightseth: @yourusername and I sat down to recap our day drinking that led to (y/n) having to be carried out. You don’t want to miss it!

Load more comments…

Fan#1: I love how progressively unhinged (y/n) gets during the day drinking segment

Yourusername: Thanks for having me and letting me embarrass myself all over again!

Fan#2: This isn’t an interview, this is two besties debriefing after a wild time out and I’m here for it

Fan#3: The way they have two totally different pov’s. (y/n)’s like “yeah I was fine and then I woke up in my bed” and Seth was like “No you got hammered and had to be carried out.”

Fan#4: The way she talks about her boyfriend, you can tell home girl is in love 😍

Fan#5: Let’s not skip over the fact it was Auston who carried her out of the bar

->Fan#6: And it not being the first time!

->Fan#7: Auston doesn’t even need to workout, carrying (y/n) around is his workout

->Fan#8: You know he stays tossing her around

->Fan#9: Yoo thats crazy to say

->Fan#10: nah it’s valid

Fan#11: Can we circle back around to @yourbff#1 totally calling them out and everyone on set just thinking they were hooking up in the bathroom

->Fan#12: my jaw dropped when Seth threw that in

->Fan#13: and you can tell (y/n) was not expecting that, girly got real giggly

->Fan#14: If Auston was my boyfriend I would be acting the same way

Fan#12: Seth sneaking in all the leafs content, he’s really out here doing God’s work

Fan#13: @yourusername thanks for being like the rest of us and honest. You embraced the embarrassment and totally owned it!

Fan#14: (y/n) casually dropping @stephmarner’s name

Fan#15: on a serious note I just want to say how much I love and respect Seth meyers. He obviously has met her boyfriend and knows who he is, but doesn’t name drop once. This is a hot topic right now so being the first to “find out” and report it would be big, but he isn’t doing that. There were a few suggestive questions, but that kept the segment light and funny! Also he didn’t give out the reason why the interview ended so abruptly and just said (y/n) needed to go home. He allowed her to lead the conversation and share as much or little about both the situation and her boyfriend. All around great conversation with two great people!

->yourusername: THIS ^^^^

Fan#16: THE AIRPLANE QUESTION👀

->fan#17: I nearly choked when he asked that

->Fan#18: So did (y/n)

->Fan#19: LMAO Seth had our girl stressing with some of these questions

Fan#20: I would sell one of my kidney’s to get drunk with @yourusername

->Fan#21: You might need to sell it to her after that segment 💀

Yourbff#1: I’m gonna watch that segment anytime I get hangxiety to feel better about myself

->Yourusername: no need to rewatch it, I’ll reenact it for you in real time

Yourbff#2: (y/n) 🤝 the bar bathroom floor

->Yourusername: I’m screaming stfu😭 my home away from home

Fan#22: Ahh I love (y/n) she’s so unserious

Fan#23: No ones roasting her as much as she’s roasting herself

->Yourbff#2: nah her boyfriend is probs chirping her the hardest

->yourusername: I can confirm he is

->Fan#22: I love this relationship 💙

[bluurene]

i think this is the right account 💀

can i request:college perv! reader who’s obsessed with watching really hard core p0rn day and night always fingering her self blah blah and can’t decide wither teacher or roommate bada who hasn’t see her in like a week. goes to find her passed out in bed n goes through her computer and decide to like punish/help her out? idk in my head it’s hot out loud not so much 💀

- dance instructor!bada lee x perv!fem!reader

- smut

side note : i am also not sure if ur requesting to the right person😭 but here you go anyways<3

it was the end of your dance class and you happily got out but your dance instructor, bada lee, stopped you. "yn, dont forget that you have another class later." she reminded while smiling warmly at you. "ah, alright. i wont." you replied back.

when she nodded and left, you went back to your dorm.

once there, you noticed that your roommate wasn't anywhere in the dorm, which wasn't surprising to you because she's always out with her friends or has to stay back in class.

you sat on your bed with a sigh as you fished out your phone from your pocket, staring at it blankly before you suddenly thought of bada.

she was so fine today and you didn't like how she would constantly touch you while trying to teach you. it was making you aroused.

you quickly opened your phone, going on one of the porn websites that you searched and pressed on a video that you liked. pulling your pants and panties down then rubbing your finger on your folds, moaning a little. sliding a finger in as you watched the video, imagining that it was bada that was fingering you.

watching porn was something you do for fun or for when you're feeling stressed out. it was a habit of yours.

feeling that youre about to come, you thrusted your fingers in a more faster pace. your legs trembled and you moaned out bada's name, feeling the warm liquid sliding down your pussy and dripping on the bed sheets.

you pulled your finger out, looking at the mess you made. this wasn't enough for you, you still needed to do more.

you began searching for other videos. after finding one, you tapped on it and stick your finger in your wet pussy. you were kind of sensitive, still but you didnt give a fuck. you just wanted this to be over with.

after you were done, you laid back on back, a satisfying sigh coming out of your lips as you no longer felt horny. all this work was tiring for you so you decided to take a little rest.

you set your phone aside, putting it on your bedside table then making yourself comfortable in bed before slowly falling asleep.

-

hours later, bada was outside of the dsnce class, waiting for you to arrive. she looks back at her watch and groans. this was the fourth time you had forgotten about your extra dance class.

bada had enough of waiting so she decided to walk to your dorm and searched for you, her steps were quick as she got impatient.

when she got there, she knocked on your door. after receiving no answer, she knocked again. yet again, no answer from you, she had no choice but to just barge in the room.

and when she did, she saw your sleeping figure on the bed. your pants and panty were on the floor, your bed slightly a mess.

she shakes her head, going up to you and shaking you to wake you up. "yn, wake up." she called out for you and you finally woke up.

taking a moment to process things, then realizing that you were half naked and bada was in the same room as you.

you quickly sat up, looking at her and panicking. "bada! what are you doing here?.." you asked, nevrously while she just glared at you. "you forgot about the dance class again." she replied. she then looks back at your body. "why are your pants on the floor? what did you do? masturbate?" she asked, the answer was pretty obvious..

you looked away, your face flushed red as you tried to reply to her question. but seeing your attempts, she sighs and stops you. "you know what, thats okay. maybe you should get punished for coming late to class again, huh?" your eyes widened when she grabs your thigh, propping it on her shoulders. now your crotch was close to her face. you tried moving her away but her grip on you was tight.

without saying a word, she dives right in your pussy, slowly licking your slit and earning moans from you. both of your hands were tangled around her hair, pushing her deeper as your moans started getting even louder.

your back arched and yout legs were shaking, signalling that you're about to cum but bada immediately stopped, pulling away from your pussy and staring down at you. "dont cum unless i say so." hearing her say this made you whine, but you couldn't disobey bada or else it will be much worse, so you just hold it in.

seeing that you're not disagreeing, she got back to eating you out. once again your hands were on her head. her tongue felt so good, you could feel your orgasm coming but knew that you had to hold it in.

after minutes of holding in, she finally spoke. "you can come, baby." she said, while having her tongue in you. and so you came, letting out a loud moan afterwards. she lets go of your thighs, then sat next to you. "we should do this again next time. and dont even think of coming late again or else it will be much worse." she gave you a kiss on your foreheas before heading to the door of your dorm. "rest well, sweetheart." her final words before she left you alone to rest.

you kept staring at the door, still panting heavily. you thought of what she had said and you cant help but think if she would keep her word.

[fictionfixations]

playful land (part 2)

contains spoiler for the movie pinocchio so and like book 7 spoilers (its literally just 2 words relating to lilia and its a card that exists)

😭 as a glasses wearer i can relate. when i didnt have my glasses id squint a lot but the people around me just thought i had my eyes closed so they thought i wasnt paying attention D:

its even crazier to think that lilia, a war veteran and everything was legitimately stressed over this 💀 but to be fair if grim was in danger of getting out of like the seats that lilia had to hold him back id be panicking too cause who knows what could happen

heres your reminder that vil was kinda baby (well child but thats still baby to me) when being in the industry and considered good at playing the villain even though children (and teenagers) are literally known for changing, are in the prime time of their life to change and experiment and try different things theyve never done before and so typecast him is literally to stunt his growth and potential !!! and remember there were those kids who thought vil was an actual villain and like tried to attack him or some shit so he did play villains when he was younger. and it probably really hit him hard because kids dont (and shouldnt) be hit with the reality that not everyone is nice and that people can be out to get you for no reason other than 'you exist' and will run with any reason they can to hate on you even if its entirely fake and they dont even know you but they just think youre a bad person despite the truth and theres nothing you can do to change that because they dont want to be wrong. if you cant tell i have a lot of things against it. like. like child prodigies n celebrities are great good for you for being good at something and being recognized for it, but ohh my god its like suddenly they're an adult and cant make mistakes without people condemning them even though literally everyone has made mistakes before and children dont know any better until they do it and mess up and thats okay and i just. i just want vil to be ok cause hes still really young.

the text being like pLAcehOldeR TExT PLaCeHoLDer TeXt is so fucking creepy for the puppets 😭 why cant it just be normal like when like AIs or like the systems of shit talk (like like the navi system that was normal?? and i thought the voices for the rollercoaster was normal too but i mightve just not noticed considering im playing it right as the update came out and i havent slept yet so yippee)

JIMINY CRICKET IS THAT YOU 💀

the way i missed all these references the first time but now im actually getting them cause i saw the movie

heres where i say i already forgot like a part of the middle of the movie and what happened and why. i was watching it with friends so i got distracted trying to talk to them and im really bad at multitasking when trying to watch something (like reallly pay attention) and talk to someone at the same time so i forget one or the other and i forgot the movie so i dont remember what the apple core was about but i doubt it was good intentioned

i know that leona's older than them but i still like that he calls them kids like d'aww

flashbacks to kalim mentioning he didnt know how to pay for things or how cash registers worked and stuff like that cause usually merchants came to him also him mentioning he got like lint rollers for the carpet but he just kept buying new ones when he ran out instead of buying a new roll, and when being informed that he could buy a new roll instead of an entirely new roller he just called whoever thought of that a genius 😭 his obliviousness is genuinely harmful to him no matter how good intentioned someone may be to try to spoil him and make him live the most comfortable life ever because theres so much life experiences hes lacking. and theres so much i could say about this but ive yapped enough about this in other posts and ive also already yapped about vil so um

HES LICKING THEM BECAUSE OF THE OVERBLOT STONES ISNT HE? ???? ????? GRim PLEASE

…hes got a tail because he went to pleasure island and was slowly turning into a donkey like i mean i guess i can understand because in twst the stories were twisted so both the hero and the villain got a happy ending technically? like remember i think jasmine married like 'a street rat' or something (I cant remember exactly? maybe he was like a thief but changed his ways?), while jafar caught someone who was pretending to be a prince to marry her (described as two different people btw)

THIS. THIS IS WHAT I MEAN. he is so unaware that hes going to make dumb and insensitive comments that could definitely offend someone but he doesnt understand what the problem with it is this boy is like the heir right?? someone please teach him politics and like diplomacy shit ???? like ok you want him to have the best life. his best life is not making mistakes in front of important people that can fuck things up without him realizing and ruining relationships because HE DOESNT KNOW BETTER. like theres only so long you can baby someone and i know hes baby and still young but stop coddling him. like i mean i want to coddle him i want to wrap him in bubble wrap but like come on. and i know hes smart, he knows people arent the best because people have tried to poison him and tried to kill him (even some of his family have tried) but come on. like what if he comes off as insincere? as a person who couldnt possibly understand? HE ALREADY DOES COME OFF AS THAT HAVE YOU SEEN JAMIL?? and you know what thats gonna breed? RESENTMENT. aAAAAAAa AND PEOPLE ARE GONNA TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HIM BECAUSE HE WANTS TO SEE THE GOOD IN EVERYONE EVEN THE PEOPLE WHO DO BAD SHIT TO HIM AND ITS JUST. i dont want him to be hurt and hes gonna get hurt and he already has been hurt and hes still managing and i feel so bad for him and i just. ..you can tell i have a lot of feelings over thsi fhaidwsuiahfd

d'aww hes hugging him 🥺

yknow kalim probably has the funds to get like a water breathing potion and explore underwater like i mean tbh it kinda scares me. wasnt there that story during like one of the halloween events one of the leech twins mentioning how they saw like one of them?? except it wasnt them. and that like people went missing or some shit??? the coral sea (..that might not be the name i forgor) has its own dangers i hope he stays safe during so

wouldnt it be the coolest for a hometown event with the leech twins and azul and kalim is there actually i wonder what kinda outfits they'd wear. also in caters birthday bloom vignette floyd mentioned that he could take cater to the coral sea and show him places land people dont really get to see (then warns him to watch out for shark attacks) to which cater replies that he'll pass. …still i think itd be really cool for him to go too. maybe we could make it a pop music club trip! has lilia been to the coral sea? i cant remember 🤔 i dont think caters phone is waterproof though (hes also mentioned it in that vignette) and hes mentioned it in this event where he was scared his phone would get waterlogged during the whale rollercoaster cause they were getting drenched in water and he didnt get time to prepare

leona. you get me.

kalim just automatically being worried about poison makes me feel really bad for him cause he always has to be cautious like i know he doesnt say it but its implied and it makes me sad

FIGARO MY BELOVED I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU PRECIOUS BABY AHFDASUDIHAIUDHW i love cats so much the moment he showed up on screen i just couldnt pay attention to anything that was happening in the movie and i just love the way he was animated he looked so fluffy and cute and i just wanted to pet him so fucking much aGHHHH

leona: I REFUSE to ride the carousel no matter what right after leona: on the carousel

so confirmed kalim does have a magicam acc huh

[sickeningly-sweet-letters]

bug is constantly playing in my head somebody help its controlling my posts 💀

oh and nso may have inspired me a little too eheh

lmk if anyone wants a rival idol reader lol

🌻 yandere idol x gn reader!

- an idol who is the very embodiment of a ball of sunshine! that is, if you ignore how manic and moody they can be occasionally, they just feel very strongly! they definitely love you very strongly.

- they adored getting attention from all their precious fans! its not like they got grossed out whenever a sweaty fan came to their post-show meet and greets! absolutely not! its not like they want the attention without having to actual talk to people! just look at how happy they get whenever you come to their shows! thats how much they love their fan!

- they always smiled no matter how stressed out they got with their work, i mean, you’re looking at them! they’re just doing what any good idol would do for their fan! they’ll actually accept and eat any snacks you made for them! so don’t hesitate to put plenty of your love inside!

- their agency needs them to shine brightly as the main star, even when its burning them out so hard. back then, you were the only one who noticed how they were struggling from all their constant interviews and their increasingly worrisome tweets.. you actually care about them! the true them that is disgusted at all those degenerates who think they own them after saying a few generic responses!

- how couldn’t they grow maybe a tad obsessive over you? you’re always so genuine.. why couldn’t you write them letters instead of their freak fans? hmph.. it wasn’t fair! they had the attention of so many fans yet you only seemed like a casual fan! why can’t you be as obsessed about them as they are about you?!

- they swore on camera they’d never betray their fans by finding a partner but.. who the hell cares about that empty promise? they definitely didn’t. oh no, they wanted needed you and they didn’t care if some of their fans got all angry because of it. they wanted to see you outside of their shows, so they started to stalk actively seek you out! aren’t they such a good idol? looking for a fan like this… won’t you praise them once you two finally ran into each other?

- they told you it was fine that you two meet up, they said they didn’t need a disguise since that’d draw more attention but.. they really just wanted the world to see that this idol already had a favorite fan! nobody else could take your place! and no other idol is gonna take theirs, right? they’d put on all the private concerts you could ever want from an idol!

- you were going out so often with an idol that it was inevitable that you ran into an interviewer. they definitely didn’t know wanted to see them, but you know what? its time we made this official, my starlight! they proudly held your waist and smiled to the camera as they proclaimed how much they loved you! aww.. you’re so cute when you’re flustered! aren’t you happy that an idol like them loves you so much?

- they were just like a puppy who constantly wanted your attention. they sent you plenty of selfies and they expected you to reply to every single one! you’re getting behind the scenes photos for free, after all! won’t you send them a selfie as well? they missed you! they missed you so much they almost couldn’t back when some fan got angry and jealous about their love for you. some people are so delusional! trash like them needed to be taken out! hmph!

- anybody who dared to comment badly about you would be flooded by negative comments from their fans while they accidentally leaked sensitive, private potentially career ending details.. what? they had it coming! this world and industry was dangerous! you’d better be careful around your friends, what if they’re using you just to get to them? maybe you shouldn’t have friends at all, you’re in the public eye now and nobody else can truly be trusted. nobody except them.

- but thats fine right? you knew what you were getting into when you started dating them! god, they remember how cute you were when they confessed that they liked loved you! you were worried it was a prank but nope! no take backs! you don’t wanna get into trouble right? so just stay with them for the rest of time!

the two of you make such a cute couple! look how much everyone loves the two of you together! don’t you like all this attention? no. not from the public, but from them! you can’t get out of this now, my starlight.

[trashworldblog]

Hi!

I hope ur well.

Anyway I wanted to know if u have any accomidations in ur college for your disablitie? It seems you are constantly in pain and could use some extra help? (PLS CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG) I see ur posts about ur disablites and I can't help but feel sympathy, I know some of what your going through (my ass has been on meds as well as being in and out of hospitals my whole life)

I don't know what your collage could offer and such but I hope you at get some extra help bc everyone should have a good college experience and not have to cry in front of professors bc of pain and stress.

I hope you are better in the next few days. And I hope u get some good vitimin D (Illinois is cloudy as shit rn).

hi!! thanks for checking in !! yeah my school provides accommodations. its just hard as fuck to do (paperwork, doctors signatures, etc) and i havent had the time or energy to do it yet. im hoping to get flexible due dates and have flexible attendance? also just a general understanding that if im uncontactable its cus im in bed, in pain, with nausea. (or asleep due to meds). i have 2 game studio classes coming up so i get to break it to them that im chronically ill yayyy

having a disability is fucking hard! and its been hard to figure out how to communicate that to professors and classmates in a ~chill regular people way~ because beep beep im also autistic and have no clue if im over or undersharing. luckily i was able to express it in a semi normal ish way with a 1 on 1 w the prof for the class thats really been rough because of my disability. (the tldr is i worked on a big and cool project w a client, and had to be in contact with my team for updates, and due to my disability i would disappear for half a week cus i was busy passing out in doctors offices and sleeping due to pain meds) but i was always able to do good fucking work! just couldnt message people all the time 💀 the meeting went well, i didnt actually cry cry, my voice got all wobbly and i made that noise you make when youre TRYING not to cry a few times. honestly i was confused as to why i got emotional cus i thought i was over it. clearly not lol. she was very understanding and nice too. she wished i brought it up sooner but tbh this all unfolded during the semester, and i was new(ish) to chronic illness so i didnt know what to do or how to approach that.

overall my college experience has been very good, this is a rough bit of it. and i find it helpful to write about it.

i wouldnt say im constantly in pain, it comes and goes every few days. and even then, everyday theres at least some pressure/pain for a few seconds and on bad days theres times when it goes away for a few minutes every hour. she's very dynamic.

sorry to hear you also get the medical struggles <3 hope you are well and your meds work well for you. and thank you for the well wishes. today was pretty nice! low pain, and it was actually sunny and warm in chicago! i got to escape to the lakefront for a while and listen to the waves break and the birds chirp

[lordrandreaming]

Back on my MHW Bullshit..

Solo'd Xeno'jiva in 26 minutes with a bee in the room, not a dangerous situation but still stressful.

But first, went through Teostra a little roughly. Thankfully I'm prepared with as many nulberries as possible, and ate like 4 to prevent exploding from Blast-Blight.

Then I went on and slapped Xeno, who slapped me first. But he didn't wake up after that last slap.

It was very worth it farming Deviljho for Anguish, the best greatsword in the vanilla game.. I broke the SHIT out of Xeno, but then again I did farm for a Teostra gem so I could get the part breaker charm. Best, charm, ever. For me, anyway!

I'm mainly a capture over slaying hunter, so it makes me sad to kill all the Elder Dragons. Like WHY haven't we figured out a trap that works? (They would be made easy-sauce.. Or even easier sauce if they got trapped, thats why) like damn it.. I don't get enough Elder Dragon materials! I don't need them persay, but I want them!

Anyways.. Since this was days ago, I have done alot. Such as fight Lunastra AND Teostra by myself. It was hard- not gonna lie 😂 but still! Managed to kill them both by myself while only being carted once.

I forgot how badass and HORRIBLE Lunastra was to fight. Love the blue fire, don't like the ass-blast radius she has. Meanwhile, on Talin, he's fought probably 100 by himself.. Times were wild when I was in school still 😂

I miss those days. When my xbox friends would summon me for the party, I'd hop on and show off how good I am 😆 With my 👌amazing👌 greatsword skills, I helped break all the parts we needed and then some. I miss hunting as a pack of idiots.

I really miss going on the Kulve Taroth raid. I haven't gone by myself, as I lack the confidence to hunt Kulve by myself.. Even though I beat the shit out of Xeno'jiva.

I dunno. She just intimidates me I guess. I was always looking for burrito snake.. Never found one to this day rip me 💀

Anyways, I love Monster Hunter and wish Iceborne wasn't 40$ still. Because I want to fight EVERYTHING.

[anomalydestroyer]

hey man, as someone whos been taking antidepressants for over 4 years now, it sucks. the first few weeks are gonna be torture, so try to have a good support system around you, or atleast treat yourself well. kinda corny and cliche to say but it will get better. it sucks to have to take all these pills, but atleast a lot of other people do it too. you seem like youve went through alot of shit, so allow yourself to take these to, later on, experience more relaxation and stability. you deserve that.

thank you man. 🫂

me venting under the cut, bleh.

tbh i hate that i am so reliant on those pills. fun fact, we already took them for like 6 months or smth, and then decided to stop them because they made us feel like shit and i felt i wasnt myself 🫠

things were ok for a while, but exams eventually came and the stress was way too much to handle and it ruined the fragile emotional balance we've had (and now i have worse mood swings than before, great. --')

i knew that in the beginning the meds make you feel like shit, but i guess with the exams we kinda panicked and wanted to try and well, take control over our mind to try and study yk?? and i guess i was a bit of an idiot too to take 4 new meds simultaneously. TT </3

we took an adhd pill, a mood stabiliser (for mood swings), one that supposedly helps with panic attacks, and a common antidepressant. but i think the one that fucked me/us over was the one for the panic attacks as it was really the only totally new medication that got prescribed to us like a couple of days ago lol- the rest we've at least already tried it months ago. but anyway.

i had a god awful day yesterday(? idk i lost track of time-) with panic attacks every hour (somehow?? even if it was barely physically possible?? medical sources say panic attacks last for like 20-30 minutes but for some reason for us it lasted a good hour, then took an hour break, then back at it again- 💀), so thats how we kinda were like yolo and took all the meds lol. and well they worked-! too well. we fell asleep lol. 💀

and umh, today we decided to stop panicking (as if... we can control that....) and didnt go to the exam. fuck it. i have the sneaking suspicion that not committing suicide is sliiiightly more important than attending any exam./s/ so, we'll just. try and relax i guess. and think of other stuff. even if its hard.

it just sucks that our mental health is genuinely like shit and that we might need to go to a mental hospital for a month or two, and probably have to repeat the college year. sigh. and for what, because we got a little stressed?? it sounds so stupid on paper- "boohoo exams scary i will die instead" like PLEASE why is our brain so stupid- sigh.

[rewritingcanon]

hp next gen red flags for @sunflowersandscorpius 🫶🫶

rose: will think she is better than you because she reads something with more literary merit

albus: will act like such an asshole to you bc hes tired or hungry or something small but when you snap back at him he’s completely shocked like he didn’t just deserve that

scorpius: something bad will happen to him and his anxiety has him warning you and making you stress over the most random ass shit. like he’ll say “omg last week i said i felt pretty and i said ‘i feel pretty today’ and NOW i have a pimple on my chin. NEVER call yourself pretty. uh huh. in fact, never say anything good about yourself because you will accidentally JINX yourself yeah uh huh”

delphi: literally tortures kids she gives off the vibe of a weirdly conservative alt siege mask girl idk

victoire: will complain with you about how HARD that test was and how she is going to absolutely FAIL it bc she did so bad. then she will get a 98% and you will get a 67% or something and she’ll be like ‘omg you did so well! 🤭’

teddy: type of person that you will spill your heart out to and you wont know a goddamn thing about him because of how fucking secretive she is

james: will break up with you by saying ‘im sorry im just not ready for a relationship’ and then will ghost you forever and find a new girl in two minutes

lily: you will tell her a secret and everyone and their great aunts will know it in an hour

lysander: worst person to be spilling drama with. he could tell you his parents are getting divorced and when you ask him why he’ll say “idk i didnt ask 😐”

hugo: has wayyyy too many friends to the point you could give him the most thoughtful carefully crafted gift ever and he’ll be like “omg thanks this is so cute 😻” and then chuck it with the rest of the just as thoughtful carefully crafted gifts

yann: hes not exactly problematic but he has friends that are, and he’s the type to say “oh no they’re really not that bad 🥺” as polly is beating someone up beside him

polly: will say the most fucked up thing EVER like its nothing and add a ‘lol’ or ‘xoxo’ to it at the end 😨

karl: cannot have a real conversation. try to strike up a mature conversation to better the relationship with him and his attachment issues got him saying “damn aight” to your carefully thought out heartful speech

craig: plays devils advocate in history class 💀

sophia: will offer to massage you if you’re feeling stressed and will end up breaking your bones (accidentally but still… unpleasant)

dominique: thinks shes better than you because her eyeliner is better

louis: will call you poor (as a joke but still)

molly: will point to someone literally getting run over by a car and will say “omg thats so embarrassing”

lucy: says “its on like donkey kong”

fred: says ‘who’ and then pauses and says ‘asked’ and acts like he roasted tf out of you

roxanne: will tell you in detail about personal things and dgaf about TMI topics. she just took the most massive dump and you’re going to hear every detail. you’re also going to hear about this incredibly steamy scene in the book she read last night, and all the random places of her body where she has weird bumps that she thinks she should be concerned about.

lorcan: doesnt wash his back

alice (bonus): will do work of her own free will and then complain about it. same vibe as your mum going “i slave away in this house”

[chateautae]

sammy, sammy, SAMMY!!! I just read act 1 of heart of the flame and im absolutely in love😭😭 i genuinely just love your writing so much and how clever you are with the dialogues and making connections and full circles in them. like at the beginning when tae’s like ‘you’ve known my name for the past nine years’ and then oc says it at the end??? i genuinely love that sht sm and it makes me smile so hard whenever i read those kinds of moments! you’re an absolute genius with how you make things connect throughout your writings. im absolutely terrible with explaining things and im not doing you any justice, but i also hope that im making sense 💀 and also just like in general with shows or any books that i read, i LOVE when things do a full circle like that so to see my favorite author incorporate them into her writing??? like your writing is 1000% my style and right up my alley. im so glad i found you omg😭 it’s like i was meant to read your work 😭

NOW SHALL WE TALK ABOUT THIS FIC???? HELLO!!! first off, absolutely in LOVE with firefighter tae. hes soooo hot, my god😭 i absolutely love his playfulness and smugness. he has so much character and i just love him so much. he’s also so kind?? like he really just offered his place to oc when she had no where to go and is going out of his way to take care of her and make sure that shes safe too??? i want him. i really want him😭 like listen, i absolutely hate driving bc of how much it stresses me out, and my heart did somersaults when tae was like “im picking you up after work” LIKE??? WHERE CAN I GET MYSELF A FIREFIGHTER TAE??? SAMMY YOU’RE REALLY RAISING MY STANDARDS IN MEN WITH EVERY FIC THAT YOU WRITE OML!! ALSO!! i was snickering so hard when tae was saying that he wanted to reveal that he was firefighter in a cool way, only to actually be the person saving oc 💀💀 MY MANS HAS JOKES TOO LIKE HES PERFECT!!

i love their dynamic so much and will be reading act ii as soon as i get off work tomorrow AHHHHH!!!! i am super curious as to why oc pretended not to know tae though. i was thinking in my head like itd be so embarrassing if tae actually does recognize her and knows that she’s putting on an act ONLY FOR IT TO COME TRUE BUT HE HANDLED IT IN THE SEXIEST WAY EVER MY LORD. also!!! my heart melted when he came back an hour later to return pride and prejudice and kept coming by everyday to see oc, not once, but twice a day😭😭 and when he said he used his lunch time to see her despite being super busy and probably not being able to get a solid meal in😭 *slams hand on table* I WANT HIM!! AND WHEN HE GOT HER COFFEE AND REMEMBERED OC’S FAVORITE SANDWICH AND GOT IT FOR HER??? *REPEATEDLY SLAMS HAND ON TABLE* I WANT HIM😤😤 firefighter tae is so dreamy and cute, i just wanna shove my face into his chest and climb hi- *train passes by*

AHHH OKAY THATS THE END OF MY TANGENT HEHEHE!! I genuinely love this series already and wish i had the chance to read it sooner!! my favorite author has done it YET AGAIN and proven YET AGAIN that she never misses, its true!! COME COLLECT YOUR PEONIES BB I HAVE A WHOLE GARDEN PREPARED FOR U 💐💐

p.s. i hope your first day back on campus went well!! i can’t offer much advice bc i only spent a little over 3 semesters on campus before covid hit and have been home ever since, but i hope that you’ll have so much fun on campus and make the most out of your time there!! i just know you’ll make such amazing and fun memories with your bubbly and amazing self :) im sending you all of my good vibes and hope you have an amazing and safe experience back on campus! 💜💜

p.p.s christmas tree was playing right when tae walked into the library and it was so fitting🤧 “in this moment, i see you” and oc’s just gawking at tae. it was so fitting and i just had to share hehe :)

-🪐

Saturn anon ik you sent this a few days ago and I just... I've been in complete AWE at your response!!! GOSH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!! I'm so so happy you adored the way I made connections in this fic hehe, i truly wanted to hit the nail on the head with those and so seeing it pointed out feels way too amazing! AND YES WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER BUBS I CAN FEEL IT IN MY VEINS!! NAUR ME TOOOOO idk why i find it super hot when men drive?? like its the most simple, mundane thing in the world that I find hot and especially when a man goes "i'll pick you up" DNEOWIDNE MY P*THY FLUTTERS A LITTLE YOU KNOW? FIREFIGHTER TAE REALLY IS THE PACKAGE DEAL!! YES YES I SHALL COME TO YOU FOR THE PEONIES!! Gosh you're just the sweetest saturn anon, I really appreciate this ask so so much and i truly love you for always being so supportive <33

And yes omg!! uni has been WILD but great so far hehe, i'm only three days in and you're right my annoying ass has already met and made so many great friends, it's a chaotic ride that keeps getting better!!