#so i think it's fair to consider them under the same performance

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Dumbledore is a little full of himself

Like, I read Tales of Beedle the Bard, and I was struck by how Dumbledore comments on his own cleverness and knowledge in his notes incredibly often:

This prejudice eventually died out in the face of overwhelming evidence that some of the world’s most brilliant wizards(3) were, to use the common phrase, “Muggle-lovers”. [...] 3 Such as myself.

(Albus Dumbledore on “The Wizard and the Hopping Pot”)

I think I may say, without vanity, that both my Fountain and my Hill performed the parts allotted to them with simple goodwill. Alas, that the same could not be said of the rest of the cast.

(Albus Dumbledore on “The Fountain of Fair Fortune”)

Even I, Albus Dumbledore, would find it easiest to refuse the Invisibility Cloak; which only goes to show that, clever as I am, I remain just as big a fool as anyone else.

(Albus Dumbledore on “The Tale of the Three Brothers”)

The guy can hardly talk about anything without talking about how smart and wise and brilliant he is. Like, no humility whatsoever.

In the books, everyone keeps singing his praises like Dumbledore can do no wrong and the only one who keeps saying Dumbledore can be wrong is Harry. And even then, in Harry's limbo vision of King's Cross, which I don't think is really Dumbledore, it's telling Harry envisions him saying something like this:

“And you knew this? You knew — all along?” “I guessed. But my guesses have usually been good,” said Dumbledore happily

(DH, Ch35)

Dumbledore doesn't speak to Harry all that often throughout the series, with book 6 being the one he interacts with him the most. And we see that even in conversations with people, Dumbledore loves to hear how wise and great he is. When he says "I might be mistaken" it's with the tone of "I'm right and everyone else is wrong". Which is usually the case often enough, yes (though not always), but he does it a lot, and I found it interesting how often he uses this phrasing and how smug he seems about it:

And then Dumbledore called out from the back row where he stood with the other teachers — “Aha! Unless I am very much mistaken, the delegation from Beauxbatons approaches!” (GOF)

“I may be wrong,” said Dumbledore pleasantly, “but I am sure that under the Wizengamot Charter of Rights, the accused has the right to present witnesses for his or her case? Isn’t that the policy of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Madam Bones?” he continued, addressing the witch in the monocle. (OotP)

“Payment?” said Harry. “You’ve got to give the door something?” “Yes,” said Dumbledore. “Blood, if I am not much mistaken.” (HBP)

Dumbledore uses this phrasing when he knows what he is saying is correct. He is saying it not because he thinks he might actually be wrong. When he actually thinks he is wrong, he makes excuses and tries to reason why the decision he made was actually reasonable at the time:

“Harry, I owe you an explanation,” said Dumbledore. “An explanation of an old man’s mistakes. For I see now that what I have done, and not done, with regard to you, bears all the hallmarks of the failings of age. Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young ... and I seem to have forgotten lately...”

(OotP)

He is incapable of saying: "I was wrong, it happens, let's move on," it has to come with reasoning or an excuse. He blames it on his age, not that he made a wrong judgment call. This isn't humbleness.

Dumbledore is a character who wants to be humble but just isn't. he considers modesty a virtue. Hell, humility is practically his favorite trait Harry possess:

Harry, who could not see any way out of this without flatly lying, nodded but still said nothing. Slughorn beamed at him. “So modest, so modest, no wonder Dumbledore is so fond — you were there, then?

(HBP) - Slughorn mentions how Dumbledore appreciates modesty.

The third brother in the story (“the humblest and also the wisest”) is the only one who understands that, having narrowly escaped Death once, the best he can hope for is to postpone their next meeting for as long as possible.

(Albus Dumbledore on “The Tale of the Three Brothers”)

He appreciates being humble and modest and sees it as being wise. He derides Tom for thinking of himself as "special" or "clever" even when it's true (and when he does the same). He loves Harry's modesty, which is really low self-esteem, not modesty. Harry's low self-worth is like the ultimate humbleness in Dumbledore's eyes because he doesn't see it for what it is and he was never humble in his life, so he doesn't really know where the balance between confidence and arrogance is or the line between modesty and low self-worth. I think he honestly doesn't know because he is exceptionally arrogant.

Dumbledore created this image of ineffability around him and it's clear Harry is one of the only people (besides Dumbledore and Aberforth) who knows Dumbledore can make a mistake and he keeps reminding Hermione, Lupin, and literally everyone else of that fact:

“People have said it, many times. It comes down to whether or not you trust Dumbledore’s judgment. I do; therefore, I trust Severus.” “But Dumbledore can make mistakes,” argued Harry. “He says it himself. And you” — he looked Lupin straight in the eye — “do you honestly like Snape?”

(HBP)

This is all another case of Dumbledore being incapable of practicing what he preaches. He values modesty, but he doesn't seem to be capable of it.

Now, I'm not saying he isn't clever or special, he is. But he is the type of really smart person who looks down on anyone they don't see as intelligent as them. He doesn't see most people as equal to him.

Dumbledore doesn't see most of the Order or Aberforth as his equals. He never did. Elphias Doge kisses his ass, but Dumbledore clearly doesn't share the same level of respect for him. Or for most people, really.

“Elphias Doge mentioned her to us,” said Harry, trying to spare Hermione. “That old berk,” muttered Aberforth, taking another swig of mead. “Thought the sun shone out of my brother’s every office, he did. Well, so did plenty of people, you three included, by the looks of it.” Harry kept quiet. He did not want to express the doubts and uncertainties about Dumbledore that had riddled him for months now. [...] “Grindelwald. And at last, my brother had an equal to talk to someone just as bright and talented as he was. And looking after Ariana took a backseat then, while they were hatching all their plans for a new Wizarding order and looking for Hallows, and whatever else it was they were so interested in.

(DH)

Dumbledore doesn't trust the majority of the Order with anything because he doesn't think they'd be capable of handling it because they're not him. He literally tells them nothing until he has to, keeping them busy guarding a prophecy he knows can't be stolen by a run-of-the-mill Death Eater. He only tells Harry about the Horcruxes because he has no choice but to tell him. Same with Snape — Dumbledore trusts him out of necessity.

Snape and Grindelwald are the only people we see Dumbledore show respect towards their abilities, wisdom, and magic in some capacity.

Like, he calls Sirius clever, but he talks about him as foolish in the same breath. He calls McGonagall wise, but he clearly doesn't think she's wise enough to be told anything or trusted with anything. And while he does speak highly of Harry's courage and humility and though Harry is insanely powerful and with the right training could beat Dumbledore, Dumbledore keeps putting him down when it comes to magical abilities/intelligence compared to himself:

“I’m not upset.” “Harry, you were never a good Occlumens — ”

(HBP) - even though Harry can and does get really good at it once he does it his way.

“I do not think you will count, Harry: You are underage and unqualified. Voldemort would never have expected a sixteen-year-old to reach this place: I think it unlikely that your powers will register compared to mine.”

(HBP)

I find this tendency of Dumbledore to be really interesting. He underestimates people constantly and thinks too highly of himself. and he is very honest about it to people's faces. He keeps talking about how Voldemort’s defenses on his Horcruxes are shit, and how Voldemort is foolish when the curse Voldemort left on the ring is literally killing him at that very moment:

“I do not think you will count, Harry: You are underage and unqualified. Voldemort would never have expected a sixteen-year-old to reach this place: I think it unlikely that your powers will register compared to mine.” These words did nothing to raise Harry’s morale; perhaps Dumbledore knew it, for he added, “Voldemort’s mistake, Harry, Voldemort’s mistake ... Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth. ... Now, you first this time, and be careful not to touch the water.”

(HBP)

Dumbledore thinking himself so clever, more clever than Voldemort, is what killed him. His arrogant insistence that he's the smartest man in the room killed him. He is undermining Voldemort for mistakes similar to the ones he makes regularly when interacting with Harry. And he's aware of that. He knows he's a hypocrite:

When I discovered it, after all those years, buried in the abandoned home of the Gaunts—the Hallow I had craved most of all, though in my youth I had wanted it for very different reasons—I lost my head, Harry. I quite forgot that it was now a Horcrux, that the ring was sure to carry a curse. I picked it up, and I put it on, and for a second I imagined that I was about to see Ariana, and my mother, and my father, and to tell them how very, very sorry I was . . . “I was such a fool, Harry. After all those years I had learned nothing. I was unworthy to unite the Deadly Hallows. I had proved it time and again, and here was the final proof.”

(DH) - Dumbledore's portrait

I think Dumbledore's self-awareness is why he wants to like Harry as much as he does. While I don't think Dumbledore knows Harry as well as he thinks he does, what Dumbledore does see is enough for him to imagine Harry in his head as this perfect, virtuous martyr that he wished all his life to portray himself as. He idealizes who he imagines Harry is without fully respecting Harry as his own person with his own abilities.

I just find it interesting that for a character who speaks so highly of humility, he doesn't seem to possess it, and that it ends up being the death of him.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

thought you might enjoy this one, raven ;) how about headcanons of rollo and malleus who are crushing hard on g/n reader but the twist is that reader is dating/in love with their mortal enemy...THE OTHER GUY. what will rollo and malleus do? try to steal reader away to spite the other person? I eagerly await to see what you'll do with this prompt!!!

*rubs hand together* They're both emotionally repressed and silly little guys that I will happily torment 😈 This prompt reminds me of fjsbsjxvksnwkw this video…

I can now use Dorm Uniform artworks for the banners, yay--

Curiouser and Curiouser…

Emo Boi era? Emo Boi era.

Malleus is used to being alone. He’s used to it and yet… it has never felt this frigid, with needles of ice that prod his skin and scales with each step, the loneliness seeping into his blood and bones. The chill always comes when he sees you with Flamme—smiling, laughing—or when you turn down his invites to walk alongside him. “I already have plans with my boyfriend,” you’d say, and he’s encased in ice. “Sorry, maybe another time?”

It’s not just him that experiences the consequences of his gloomy mood. His classmates and the immediate surrounding environment also suffer. When Malleus passes, he brings with him angry thunder or hail the size of golf balls, floods the hall or brings a blanket of snow up to your knees. Everyone walks on eggshells, scared to do or say something to set him off.

He retreats from those rejected outings and spends the evenings alone, walking around campus to hit up all the gargoyle spots. Malleus laments to the gargoyles (and to Gao-Gao Dragon-kun), sharing about his romantic troubles. On the days when his mood is so sour he cannot even take his usual strolls, Malleus holes up in his bedroom with a blanket and a tub of ice-cream. He'll pout and indulge in the sweet frozen treat to chase off his sorrows, all while watching historical dramas and soap operas to temper his envy.

He savors the little victories, times when he’s able to have you for a moment of solidarity. Nothing is quite as enchanting to him as seeing how the sun blooms in your eyes when he performs what he considers such minor tricks—sparks of light that dance in the palm of his hand, a flower pulled from midair. (He considers flexing his magic small acts of revenge against Flamme too.)

... How is it, then, that you smile brighter still with him, when he abstains from the miracle of magic? The frustration is enough to make the light flicker out, and the flower crumble into ash. It’s not fair, Malleus thinks, that Flamme should come in to steal away the one I’ve had my eye on long before he has. Dragons can be territorial and possessive creatures—and you’re the treasure he’s guarded for so long.

His retainers awkwardly try to comfort him. Silver isn’t quite sure what to say, Lilia gently reminds Malleus that there will be others that take his breath away (“If you love them, then you must also learn to let them go,” Lilia had sagely advised)… and Sebek is Malleus’s personal hype man. He goes on for hours and hours about how “the human has poor taste in men!!”, shit talking Rollo, and extolling his young master. At one point, Sebek even advises that Malleus reveal Rollo’s misdeeds to you just to prove “the difference in nobility” between the two.

Malleus would be lying if he said he hadn’t considered any and all options. All it would take is the wave of his hand to decimate any rival, mage or no. Perhaps he could spin a curse to drive the others off, or simply whisk you away under the cover of night. But the longer he lingers on the ideas, the more they make his heart ache. No, he cannot bring any of them into fruition—he can't bear to see your happy expression shift to that of fright, the same way everyone else seems to regard him. Caving to his basest desires—it would be proof of the monster they see in him. It would make Rollo right.

It would be discourteous of me to intervene in another's personal affairs. It's his final decision, the mantra he recites to himself over and over and over again. Let go, and move on. Let go, and move on. Yet in his heart of hearts, he has not accepted it, cannot cut away the last of the threads that bind his feelings to you. Malleus is plagued by fitful nights, dreams that manifest as if just to mock him. In them, you're always shrouded in white, at some faraway altar. No matter how fast he runs or flies, he can never reach you. Other times, he's been forgotten entirely, not invited to the ceremony at all. Cast off into the darkness or a bog or an enchanted wood to stew and brood all alone.

He'll wake in a cold sweat and with an agonizing roar that shakes the entire castle. When Lilia and the others rush to his chambers to check on him, they find it in disarray. Items are thrown everywhere, the comforter cast off and the bed a mess from tossing and turning, ugly claw marks running across his curtains... The chandelier has fallen, the green-tipped candles of it catching the fabric on fire—and there he is, kneeling amid the flames, clutching at his head, his heart.

"Leave me be," Malleus snarls at his retainers. He knows the flames will not harm him, and they know it too. The least he can do is spare them from witnessing him in such a pathetic, distraught state. It’s over, isn’t it? He, the fearsome dragon, has lost to some self-righteous “hero”. His fairy tale’s happily ever after is impossible.

He’s coping… coping and seething—

At first, Rollo thinks you must be mad, or playing the part in some cruel prank. How can anyone genuinely be attracted to such a repulsive, despicable villain like Malleus Draconia? He cannot fathom it—yet the longer be observes, the more frightening the truth becomes: those feelings of yours are genuine. Rollo then concludes something even more wild: that Malleus as bewitched you, cast some sort of dark magic that clouds your common sense. After all, how can you not see that Malleus is so very, VERY wrong for you?

Whenever possible, Rollo tries to preach, to warn you about dealing with the devil (yes, he outright calls Malleus that) and giving into temptation. He furiously implores you to reconsider, to think of your soul and to salvage it. Alas!! His words only fall on deaf ears. He curses, thinking Malleus’s enchantment far too powerful for him to overcome through typical means. Still, Rollo shall not relent.

His digs and sleights directed at Malleus seem to only become more hateful. When they cross paths in the hallway, Rollo makes it a point to purposefully bump into him on the shoulder--and you can bet this man doesn't hold bad when it comes to the insults. (Sebek tends to yell back in Malleus's defense, while all Malleus does in response is tut and tighten the arm he has wrapped around you.)

Rollo remains cordial to you (though you're not free from his lectures about how you should "renounce Malleus Draconia's hand"). He's still very much resistant to any sort of affection you try to demonstrate for him, be it verbal, physical, or otherwise, often shooing it away or deeming it "salacious". However, he's quick to change his tune if Malleus happens to be nearby, enduring your compliments and brief touches as he fights a blush from creeping onto his face. The blush is something he hastily conceals with his handkerchief and insists is "just the weather" or "a fever", nothing more than that.

There are instances when Rollo wonders why he's dedicating so much time and effort into saving one puny, pathetic person. His cause is so much greater than that, and yet he cannot tear himself away. Perhaps, he reasons, you are just that pitiful, and he feels sorry for you to fall victim to Malleus's machinations again and again. In his mind, Malleus is the monster that has kidnapped some innocent royal, and he, Rollo, is the saint sent to liberate them. Why is it, then, that he also sees your face everywhere even when he doesn't mean to? It's maddening to gaze into his fireplace and jolt back, thinking he has seen a ghostly face in the flames.

Much to Rollo's chagrin, his aide and vice president (and even the entire gaggle of enchanted NBC gargoyles) offer their unsolicited romantic advice. They demonstrate their unwavering support in other ways as well, often sneaking about to check on their beloved prez and making an effort to speak highly of him specifically in your presence. The gargoyles also (annoyingly) try to set a "romantic ambience" up by singing and tossing glitter down on you and him when you happen to speak. They're the wingmen Rollo didn't ask for--

It's ridiculous that they would think I have even a passing interest in seeking intimate companionship, Rollo quietly seethes. He doesn't understand where anyone would get that impression of him from. But everyone around him, even the folks of the City of Flowers, can see it for themselves. Rollo seems haunted by something, always looking over his shoulder with a longing in his eyes. The line between disgust and desire are gradually blurring, in spite of the man himself not recognizing it for what it is.

Rollo becomes increasingly frustrated that you refuse to listen to him, that you continue to hang all over Malleus like some brainwashed thrall. He doesn't even know what he's mad at anymore. At Malleus, for taking you for himself? At you, for being so stupid? At himself, for not being strong enough to bring you back to your senses? Maybe it's all three. It's become an obsession now, never too far from his mind and always gnawing away at his every thought. This fire under his skin, the urge to sin, sin, sin… He feels like he's going crazy--

When the anger has finally swallowed his sanity, Rollo, numb, comes to a singular dark conclusion: it's not him, it's you. It was always you, because all this time, you were in on this ruse. Of course. It was so obvious. How could he have not realized it before? You must be a mage too, one that had cast a horrible curse upon him, made him go mad with desire. Dangerous—you were dangerous, and he had to be rid of you just like he had to be rid of Malleus Draconia. For the world's sake. For his own sake, before fanning flames converged into another inferno.

And so he calmly takes out a plain white letter and matching envelope, penning an invitation to you. He asks you to come visit him in the City of Flowers, that he will be waiting for you at the top of the bell tower. You appear here as requested, and you’re greeted with an offer most ominous: choose him or Malleus; be his or burn like the wicked being that you are. There’s no humor to Rollo’s eyes, only a fervent fire blazing in the darkness. He awaits your answer, ready to cast his judgment soon after.

[collapsedglasshouses]

TANGLED THREADS [Noah Sebastian x fem!reader, Nick Ruffilo x fem!reader]

COLLEGE!AU

CHAPTER ONE: STRIKING A CHORD SUMMARY: There is something about you, Noah can't really bring himself to process. No matter what he does, everything comes back to you. Unfortunately, he knows that Nick feels the exact same way. PAIRING: Noah Sebastian x fem!Reader; mentions of Nick Ruffilo x fem!Reader WARNINGS: SMUT, MDNI, 18+ [unprotected p in v, degradation, rough sex ig, …], no mentions of reader’s name, angst, noah is toxic and delusional and also a utterly big simp, reader is toxic, toxic dynamics, mentions of noah thinking about nick during intercourse kind of?, swearing, its not completely proofread … WORD COUNT: 3.8K A/N: Hello, hello! A little note at the beginning. I got inspired while watching Challengers for the hundredth time in like… four weeks. This is inspired by a scene in the movie. Other than that, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I’m planning on writing two more parts. For those, who miss Nicky in this one, chapter 2 will be for you!

Noah Sebastian liked to think of himself as a patient guy. He was nice. People said he was understanding and empathetic. It was something he was known for on campus. It was no secret that a lot of people on campus, especially some guys he had encountered, were total douchebags. But he was not one of them. He was known as “the sweet guy that likes to sing and play the guitar”. At least, according to most people who he had met.

That being said, he really couldn’t wrap his mind around why you were frustrating him so deeply he wanted to collapse to the ground and seize to exist.

It’s been a while since he and his best friend, Nick, had met you for the very first time at this talent show at the bar down the street. The two boys weren’t new to these shows. They were frequent contestants and had already won a fair share of these events. Noah wasn’t in college to seek a particular profession; he was there because his family wanted him to. Meanwhile Nick just enjoyed living in the moment. He didn’t really have a plan for the future, so when his best friend proposed his idea of becoming musicians, he simply agreed. Since then, nothing was more important to the two boys then their music project, with which they desperately wanted to break through.

At least it was until they met you. To say Noah had been through hell and back since the moment you stepped on that stage at that particular night, was a drastic understatement.

He still vividly remembered watching you as you smiled shyly, your guitar hanging from your neck like it was a statement piece. He remembered the almost physical reaction he had to you. The crowd was cheering nearly as loud as they did for him and Nick when they had stepped on stage just an hour prior. There even were people that made signs for you in support.

It was so obvious you were a favourite and when you started your performance, Noah felt like he was going into cardiac arrest. Your voice was angelic and the way your fingers glided over the strings of your guitar made his knees weak. He could tell that Nick was thinking the exact same thing. If the way he swallowed so hard wasn’t hint enough, it definitely was how his breath slightly caught in his throat when you started to engage with the crowd just a little more.

"Goddamn..." Nick had muttered under his breath. Noah could distantly see Nick’s hand clench on top of his thigh when you smiled into the crowd.

Nick and Noah didn’t even realize they were openly gawking at you and if they had noticed they probably would have been embarrassed. Still, it felt like everything they did was justified. You were creating magic on that stage and everyone in that room knew it.

Normally, Noah would have been disappointed over losing a contest, considering him and Nick where trying to get more people into their music they were slowly developing, but when it was announced that you had gotten the award, it felt like all his sorrows simply vanished.

“You know… If you get her on our project… I’ll gladly play the bass.” Nick let out in an almost stuttering breath as both of them stared at the stage where you were thanking everyone.

A couple of weeks, more like months, had past since that night. What Noah really didn’t expect was the fact that he was currently sitting with you at a lunch table, while you were complaining about a literature assignment you still had to finish. In all honesty, Noah wasn’t really listening to you, too busy trying his best not to glare too obviously at the Limp Bizkit hoodie you were wearing. It was extremely obvious who this piece of clothing belonged to, and Noah was internally fuming because of it. It was Nick’s. The hoodie string had a slightly different color than the rest of it. Noah remembered when Nick had changed the string after losing the original one.

You must have kept it the last time you saw Nick. The bold letters on the front seemed to almost mock Noah. He was biting the inside of his cheek while you rambled on and slammed his can of coke down on the table with a little more force than he intended. You hadn’t noticed. Or at least, you ignored it.

Noah didn’t really know what exactly was going on between Nick and you, but he tried his utter best to be okay with it. At least he did in the beginning. After all, Nick had been his best friend since Noah was twelve. Noah should have been stoked about the fact that you were into Nick just as much as he was into you. It was so clearly obvious it was the case when the two of them had walked up to you to congratulate you on winning at that talent show weeks ago.

It wasn’t like Nick was a player or something, but Noah almost crumbled into a million pieces when he realized you were playing into Nick’s desperate attempts to get into your pants. You weren’t averting your eyes shyly or blushing when he blatantly checked you out, you were throwing back smart comebacks to his lines. You were looking up at him through your lashes, blinking at Nick as if you were innocence itself and Noah felt like something inside him had died on the spot.

It would have been absolutely shattering and soul-crushing for Noah if he wasn’t such a good friend. He simply stifled this feeling that could have only been described as jealousy and plastered the best smile on his face as he watched Nick and you shamelessly flirt with each other.

It wasn’t like it was anyone’s fault. Nick and he really hadn’t had the chance to talk about who could try and score with you prior to that evening. If anything, it was fair game, and Noah simply didn’t take the chance out of kindness and loyalty to his best friend.

The night had lasted long enough for you and Noah to connect as well, but differently. You were chatting about college and what courses you were going to attend after the break, realizing you had a lot of things together. You were smiling so sweetly at him over your glass. Still, it had stung seeing you laugh at Nick’s joke with slightly too much enthusiasm while sharing a cigarette with Noah, but there was absolutely nothing he would or could do about it.

You had chosen Nick, and it had nothing to do with Noah. At least, that was what he was trying to convince himself of.

But the longer he spent time with you while Nick wasn’t around, the angrier he got every time Nick would tag along and steal away all your attention. First, he thought it was absolutely stupid and childish of him to feel that way but as time passed, it became this gnawing, not ignorable, almost consuming rage that twisted his guts every single time he saw you with Nick.

“You know, Nick invited me to the movies this weekend. He asked if you and Chrissy would like to join.” You mumbled as you took another bite from your lunch.

Chrissy, right. She was a girl he had met in that particular literature class you were just complaining about. They had hooked up a couple of times, but Noah just couldn’t focus on her. They had decided to be friends, but honestly it was just awkward for Noah to hang out with her now.

Noah involuntarily huffed at your statement as he took a bite as well. “Yeah. Sounds fun.”

That was when you caught onto him.

When he looked at you under his lashes, you were already looking at him. “You know… you don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

Noah’s eyebrows flinched upwards, like he was caught. “No… No, no. It’s fine… Really. I’ll be there.”

You slowly nodded, still watching him with a hint of skepticism. “Are you sure, you’re alright? You’ve been acting strange.”

“Yeah.” He blurted out too quickly, but you seemed like you didn’t want to push it.

Nothing felt right, and Noah knew it would have been a way smarter decision to just keep his mouth shut, but his words had outrun his thoughts. “I just-…”

You were watching him again, encouraging him to continue with a slight nod. Noah fiddled with his food, searching for the right words.

“I’m just surprised you two are still… you know… together, I guess.” He muttered under his breath. His more rational self would’ve punched him for that, but the anger simmering inside of him took the wheel.

“Excuse me?” You exclaimed, caught completely off guard, your tone sharp with disbelief.

Noah just sighed and set down his fork. “Nick… He’s always had a hard time… committing.”

One of your eyebrows shot up as you studied him. His tone was calm, even sweet, but the accusation behind his words hit like slap. Guilt twisted in Noah’s stomach almost immediately after the words left his mouth, but this time he swore to himself he wouldn’t retreat. He held your gaze. He wasn’t lying - Nick really did have a track record of avoiding any kind of commitment. Yet deep down, Noah knew the truth. He and Nick weren’t close enough at the moment for him to know if Nick was even seeing anyone else.

You didn’t respond right away, your eyes scanning his face like you were trying to decode him. Noah forced himself to maintain eye contact.

“Are you really shit talking your best friend right now?” You said at last, leaning back in your chair. The casualness in your tone unsettled Noah, and it showed in the subtle clench of his jaw.

“I am not.” He insisted, his voice tingled with frustration. “I just know him a lot better than you do and I am trying to spare you the heartache.”

“Sounds a lot like you are shit talking to me.” Your tone hardened, disbelief mingling with irritation. “And who even says you know what the hell is best for me?”

“You know I didn’t mean it that way.” Noah answered you, his tone matching yours. “He just doesn’t have feelings for you!”

You scoffed, your face twisting in anger. “Why the fuck do you even care?”

“I am just saying.” Noah exclaimed, crossing his arms in front of his chest defensively. “He hinted at it.”

That was a lie. A blatant, baseless lie. Nick hadn’t said anything of the sort. In fact, Nick hardly ever talked about you unless you were present. And when Noah thought about it, he wasn’t sure why he’d even lie. Maybe it was the anger clouding his judgement, or maybe it was something he wasn’t quite ready to admit to himself.

“Did it ever occur to you that I do not care?” You snarled at him, leaning forward now, voice rising.

At this point, a few people at nearby tables began to quiet down, their curiosity getting the better of them as they tried to eavesdrop. Noah stayed silent, the weight of your words sinking in—but not quite hitting home.

“I just wanted to tell you that.” He said weakly, fumbling to defend himself. God, you were infuriating. Of course, you would defend Nick.

“Yeah, but I wanna know why you care?” You asked again, your jaw tightened. You already knew why he cared but you wanted him to say it. You leaned closer to him over the table and spoke quietly. “Does it bug you so much that I fuck your best friend?”

Noah clenched his fists, jaw flexing in anger. He’s never seen you this mad before and he especially never expected to be the cause of it.

His eyes narrowed as he held your gaze, leaning closer to you. “You don’t get it, do you?” He muttered through his teeth.

“I think you don’t get it, Noah.” You bite out as Noah was starting to smell the familiar scent of your perfume. In other cases, it would have consumed him, but right now he couldn’t back down. “Who said I want Nick to be in love with me? Who the fuck said I give even the slightest fuck about any of that shit?”

Noah scoffed at your desperate attempt to come off as nonchalant. He stopped himself from rolling his eyes. “Oh, please, sweetheart.” He shifted even closer to you. You could feel his breath on your face. “The way you act like a lost puppy around him tells me you care deeply about that.”

You blinked at him for a second, taken aback by his rude tone. You knew in some way he was right, but the fact that he called you out so blatantly made your blood boil.

Noah on the other hand thrived. The look of rage and intensity in your eyes was what Noah searched for, for months at this point.

“You know what.” You muttered, Noah didn’t miss how your eyes travelled to his lips for a second. “Fuck you. You are literally the worst fucking friend in the world.”

With that you stood up from your chair, gathering your stuff and leaving the cafeteria, leaving Noah with nothing but his thoughts.

Maybe he was a bad friend. Noah could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. A weird mix of emotions running through his veins. There was embarrassment, jealousy, anger, hatred and lust. The way you were looking at him, anger burning in your eyes, shot straight to part of his body he didn’t want to admit it did. His heartbeat echoed in his ears.

Noah was in misery for the rest of the day. He had decided to skip his classes after lunch, simply hiding inside his dorm. He stared at the ceiling as your fight replayed in his head. In some way he felt good about finally letting out his thoughts. But with that came the resentment. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he had lied. He had lied about his best friend, just because he was so desperate to get close to you.

He thought about texting Nick, but eventually gave up after numerous attempts to find the right words about what had happened without telling him he was a fucking liar.

The sun had already set when he made the decision that he had to forget you. He needed to focus on his dream of becoming a serious musician. He couldn’t waste his time on something so simple than this feeling he had about you. It didn’t matter how pretty you were. It didn’t matter how he felt a particular part of his body move when you simply leaned over the table to look at him through your gorgeous lashes. He needed to forget you.

That was what he had decided before his phone reminded him of reality.

Come over.

Noah had never moved that fast in his entire life, rushing out of his room, with only his phone and the keys. He made it to your dorm in such a short time that he nearly sprinted over campus. He needed to catch his breath when he reached the corridor where your room was at. All his resolutions had vanished into thin air when he came to a hold in front of your door.

He hesitated for a second, staring at the door, his mind racing. Should he apologize? What would you want to say? Were you still mad at him? God, he hoped you weren’t mad anymore.

He bit down on his lip as he quietly knocked on your door. Barely a second passed before it opened.

He didn’t have the time to process what was happening, as you gripped the front of his shirt and dragged him inside. Noah’s back hit the now closed door with a thud, his breath caught in his throat in surprise. He tried to save the jacket that hung on the door from falling to the ground, but your grip on his shoulders, didn’t make it possible for him to do so.

When he allowed himself to look at you, he noticed you looked different. Your eyes were puffy and red. Your breath came out in short burst as you stared him down. All the emotions he had just sworn to bury rushed back at him when he stared into your soul.

“What’s going on?” He asked, his voice a mix of confusion and worry. His hands came to a rest on your hips, hesitatingly, not sure if he should touch you.

He noticed you were still wearing Nick’s hoodie.

Noah was close to opening his mouth again, when you suddenly yanked him forward, closing the distance between the two of you as your lips crashed against Noah’s. It was so sudden, Noah stumbled a couple of steps towards you, almost causing you to lose balance.

He felt pathetic for how easily he kissed you back, not even giving a single thought of hesitation to it. His mind shot to Nick, only causing him to draw you closer to him. He surely owned himself the award for being the worst friend in the world, but all his common sense left his mind, when you pushed your tongue into his mouth.

It was rough how your lips clashed together. It almost felt violent. All the aggression and frustration from earlier filling the room between you two. It was not how he had imagined your first kiss to go, but he wouldn’t do shit to end whatever was going on.

He almost whined when your hands slipped under his shirt, your cool fingertips spreading goose bumps all over his body.

“It’s over with Nick.” You breathe hotly, before roughly kissing down his jaw. Noah was in such a haze that he almost didn’t get your words. “You need to fuck me, Noah.”

Holy fucking shit.

Noah felt like he had never been this hard in his entire life. But still, his common sense came back to him in the worst fucking moment.

He softly pushed you away to get a couple of inches between the two of you. His mouth opened, but no words came out, his mind still processing what was happening.

“What?” You harshly barked at him, running a hand through your messy hair.

“I-…” Noah began. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea to-…”

“Oh, suddenly you wanna act like you weren’t trying to get in my pants for the last couple of weeks?” You mocked him, your voice riddled with a mix of hurt, frustration and lust.

Something snapped in Noah. It felt like you had slapped him across the face with your words. For a second, he freezed in disbelief, before you were suddenly pushed against the door.

“Are you serious right now?” He spit in your face. “You mock me. Insult me. Tease me endlessly and then proceed to tell me how you fuck my best friend, and you are trying to tell me that I’m the one who wants to be fucked. Are you out of your goddamn pathetic mind?”

“What’s stopping you, Noah?” You snarled at him, but when his eyes darkened, you knew you made a mistake.

The next thing you knew was how your face pressed into your mattress, while Noah grabbed your waist harshly. He leaned over you, his hard member pressing onto your ass. “I’ll make you regret choosing him over me.”

Noah didn’t miss the red mark on your neck. He knew exactly who had left it there, but the thought about Nick just made his dick twitch once more. He quickly leaned down and sucked at the sensitive skin of your neck right next to where Nick had left his mark. After that, he stripped you out of your jeans with a swift motion, before getting rid of his shirt.

You flinched when he touched your clothed pussy, trying to contain yourself. “So… are you all talk or are you gonna fuck me?”

Noah grabbed your hips roughly. “You can bitch like you want. I haven’t even touched you and you’re already so fucking wet for me.”

Still leaned over you, he dragged his tongue along the shell of your ear. You let out a moan, pressing your ass against him. Careful but firm, he stopped your movement before shifting his weight on his knees again. “You’re so pretty.” He whispered so quietly; he wasn’t sure if you caught on to his words.

While keeping one hand on you, the other one fumbled with the waistband of his pants. It took him less than a second until his dick sprung free. You squirmed impatiently, when you felt his precum leak onto your ass.

“You’re one to talk about being needy-…” You wanted to mock him, but he interrupted you within a heartbeat. “Shut up.”

Noah involuntarily groaned loudly, when his hips jerked against your ass. A shiver went through his body, eyes screwing shut as he tried not to cum all over your ass. “Shit, shit, shit…” He breathed out sharply. You simply giggled.

His fingers hooked under the waistband of your panties and forcefully, he yanked them down to your mid-thigh. You breathed hotly in surprise, hands gripping the sheets of your bed tighter.

With a swift motion, he flipped you in your back, before leaning close to your face. He needed to see you.

“Please.” You whined, your hands gripping his tattooed arms desperately, while his gaze ran over Nick's hoodie that you were still wearing.

Noah took his dick into his hand and dragged it through the silky skin of your folds. When he rubbed over your clit, your hips jerked upwards involuntarily. You whined, slightly shaking at the sensation as he dragged his dick to your hole, lining up and slowly sinking inside with a heated groan.

“Shit.” You cried out, immediately wrapping your legs around his hips.

As he bottomed out, he grabbed your face, forcing you to look at him. “I’ve fucking had it with you. Look at you. Pathetically craving for my dick. You fucking slut.” He snarled at you with a thrust of his hips. “The least you can do is take it like a good girl.”

“Fuck you, Noah.” You cursed him out, your voice not more than a breath. You saw how Noah smiled at you, feeling how you clenched around him at his words, before leaning down, pressing his lips to yours as he slowly began to move.

His lips drowned out your sweet noises and he couldn’t help but feel like he belonged right where he was. He sped up, desperately trying to stay quiet. But god, you felt so good.

“Noah.” You moaned, scratching your nails down his back. “Don’t stop… fuck… Please, I-…”

He cut you off with another kiss, whining at the way his name sounded out of your mouth.

“God, I’m gonna cum.” He whined as his hips smashed into you. “I need to feel you cum around me.”

He felt how your legs tightened around him as a small pain shot through your core from the roughness of your actions.

“I’m-…” You stuttered out. “I’m on the pill. Cum inside me.” You pushed your ankles into him, not even giving him the chance to pull out. Not like he wanted to.

“Fuck!” Noah shouted out, his hips starting to stutter as he slowly started to spill inside of you. You felt his hot cum on the walls of your pussy as you breathed out his name. He didn’t stop, fucking you through your orgasm, until he collapsed on top of you, not being able to continue.

It was quiet after that. A silent agreement that he would stay the night, as he slowly pulled out of you, rolling on his back next to you.

As you curled up in his arms, he couldn’t help but feel the pride in his chest. It was everything he ever wanted. You were in his arms, with his cum inside of you, for once not talking about his best friend. While you fell asleep almost immediately, his mind was still racing. He was disturbed in his thought process when he saw his phone lighting up. When he looked at it after some time, he saw messages. Several messages. All from Nick.

He decided to ignore them...

dividers by @saradika-graphics

TAGLIST: @measuredingold @cncohshit @circle-with-me @jilliemiw86 @justeli6 @sitkowski @exitwoundsx

[pokemon-my-beloved]

my thoughts on pokemon legends za: what we know so far

i'm back!!!! sorry for not posting in over a year, the hyperfixation has shifted and i started uni which has kept me VERY busy. regardless! i'm super excited for the new game! this post will be based primarily on the trailer that dropped earlier today, though i will be taking info from the official site into account.

analysis under the readmore!

general

i think this game is going to be a launch title for the switch 2. i know the trailer and website both said it would be for the switch, but considering a. that the switch 2 is coming out later this year, we just don't know when yet and b. how godawful sv's performance was (and how the visuals seem to be pretty similar to sv's), i think that would make the most sense. if this is true, both will probably be releasing in november, because that's when pokemon games come out (except pla lmao), but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ we'll see!

since pla took place like... idk, 300 or so? years before dpp, i'm betting that plza will take place roughly 300 years after xy. given the amount of development and improved technology (and, from what i can tell, a lack of sycamore, clemont, and other characters from lumiose (though this is only the first trailer)), it would have to be at least 100 years in the future. i just think the time difference is roughly the same for parallel reasons. i'll elaborate more on this later, though

OBSESSED with the new battle system. finally, we can truly live out the anime and have our pokemon fucking dodge attacks without relying on evasion boosting moves. the ui is also really neat, i LOVE the info (chikorita used razor leaf, it's super effective, etc) being on the side, it feels a lot less obtrusive. also love that you can see your whole party at all times, i think that's great

speaking of ui, the minimap is fantastic. desperately needed that sooner, thank you gamefreak

the architecture and stuff looks AMAZING, i adore the style

pokemon

starters are chikorita, tepig, and totodile! definitely gives johto favoritism, but you know what, that's fair, johto has not gotten appreciation like this in years

unsure if the starters will get kalosian(?) forms or mega evolutions, i've seen speculation for both. i think it'll probably be forms, because it doesn't feel like there's any way they could give these three mega evolutions but not the others from those regions, plus samurott and typhlosion already have hisuian forms

relatedly, snivy is definitely going to be the grass starter in the next legends game (assuming we get another one, at least, which we probably will)

regardless, regional variants seem more likely to me, which gives more credence to my theory that this is a good few hundred years post xy, even if this is pokemon, changes like that take a while. fairly confident we won't get mega evolutions for the starters, but it would be cool if we did!

speaking of, mega evolution is BACK!!!!! i'm SO excited, mega evolution is EASILY my favorite mid-battle... mechanic? change? idk, but z moves, dynamaxing, and terastilization don't even come CLOSE

the currently confirmed returning mega evolutions are charizard, kangaskhan, gyarados, ampharos, gardevoir, sableye, altaria, absol, and lucario: a solid mix of mega evolutions introduced in both xy and oras. i imagine all of the old mega evolutions will return (except maybe mega rayquaza and mega mewtwo, given that i can't think of any reason for them to be there)

relatedly, the returning pokemon (in general and not counting the ones already mentioned) are sliggoo, clauncher, furfrou, sandile, bunnelby, pyroar, zygarde (obviously), budew, vivillon, eevee, patrat, pikachu (duh), larvitar, bagon, aegislash, trubbish, weepinbell, chandelure, fletchling, swirlix, spritzee, hippowdon, pidgeot, skiddo, onix, florges, dragalge, dedenne, and inkay, plus obviously all pre-evolutions and evolutions thereof

didn't see any regional variants, but i'm fairly confident they'll show up considering they've been in every game since sm (even though kalos was before that). hopefully we'll get more variants than we did in sv!

characters

not a lot to say about the rivals, tbh. they're fine enough, i don't have enough info to make much of a judgement

i do not trust jett and vinnie. mostly jett. they're leaders of a megacorporation, and i know how that goes in pokemon games (plus jett's design gives HUGE r*se and oleana vibes, both of whom i hate with a passion). the only thing that makes me doubt they're the antags is how early in the promotional cycle they've shown up, but if they're villains i will have called it on sight. stop designing characters like this, gamefreak, you've made a reputation for yourselves now

and finally, AZ!!!!!!!!! i'm super super SUPER excited about him being here, i think that's INCREDIBLE and i'm so happy he and floette are thriving now. he's running a hotel, good for him

SPEAKING OF, this is probably the main reason i think plza will be so far in the future. we've established that az..... can't die, and he didn't reconnect with floette until post xy, so there's no way this game can take place before then (unless it was way way WAY long ago, but he wouldn't be able to run a hotel then cause he would be busy being king. also all the technological improvements and stuff). given that it he's established a hotel and it seems he has been running it for a while, based on the fact that the rivals live and work there, this game has to take place long enough after xy that he would 1, not be an emotional wreck 2, get himself cleaned up and presentable 3, get enough money to buy a building in lumiose city, which i imagine would be pretty expensive 4, buy a building in lumiose city that he can turn into a hotel 5, establish it as a business to the point where people live there and the player character chooses to stay there, and 6, the events of the game occur. step 1 alone had to take years (half joking), so i'm positive that given the other steps this game has to be at minimum a century after xy

also, he uses a cane now. arguably he should've had that a long time ago, but still (i was also gonna mention the knee brace, but i checked and he had that in the official artwork for xy)

EDIT: i know there’s no fucking way this will happen but i kinda really really hope the lumiose ghost girl comes back and fucking explains literally anything. i want to know what the fuck she’s talking about but also i hope it’s a mystery forever and she stays a cryptid queen. idk, just thoughts, it’s like 2:30 am and insomnia’s kicking my ass, there are no coherent thoughts rn

that's it for now, i think. super excited for this game, i can't wait!!!!

[aliveandfullofjoy]

Yet again, it’s time to indulge in one of my favorite new year traditions: my ten favorite new-to-me films of 2024!

Every one of these movies got under my skin in one way or another and made this difficult year that much brighter. If you like, consider this a strong endorsement for each of them.

Same rules as always: no movies from this past year (2024) or the year prior (2023). Every other year is fair game.

01. Close-Up (dir. Abbas Kiarostami, 1990; Iran; 98 min.)

"Tell him The Cyclist is a part of me."

Every now and then, you watch a film for the first time that knocks you sideways, that reminds you of the power and beauty in cinema, that lives up to every expectation you had for it, that works its way into your bloodstream to take up permanent residence as a part of you.

That was my experience finally watching Abbas Kiarostami's Close-Up. While retaining his empathetic gaze, Kiarostami uses a real-life incident to crack open the very ideas of performance, escapism, identity, truth, and storytelling. Is it a love letter to cinema or a condemnation of its ability to distance people from reality? Is it both?

That this film exists at all is a miracle. Hossain Sabzian's performance (as himself) is miraculous in itself, too. There is simply nothing like Close-Up, and I am so grateful to have experienced it. I can't wait to revisit it for years to come.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.

02. Paris, Texas (dir. Wim Wenders, 1984; West Germany/France; 147 min.)

"I wanted to see him so bad I didn't even dare imagine him anymore."

I mean this in the best way possible: Paris, Texas was not what I expected it to be at all. For years, I've heard it spoken of with reverence, and I've seen shots from it, and I generally knew the premise, but I didn't expect a film that was as nakedly emotional as this. Paris, Texas ripped my heart out over and over and over again, and I was grateful for it every time.

Everything about it is superb: Robby Müller's cinematography, creating poetry out of the neon-soaked desert; Ry Cooder's haunting guitar; Sam Shepard's enormously moving screenplay; Wenders' patient and precise direction. And then there are the performances! I waxed poetic about Harry Dean Stanton's performance yesterday in this post, but in short: it's a landmark performance. Nearly equally impressive, and with less screentime, is Nastassja Kinski, the key to the film's mystery.

This is an exquisite piece of work. What begins as an almost unbearably lonely film grows into one of bittersweet reconciliation, of healing. I'll be thinking about Travis and Hunter walking together on opposite sides of the street for a long, long time.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel and HBO Max.

03. Barton Fink (dir. Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, 1991; USA; 116 mins.)

"I tried to show you something beautiful."

I know I'm late to the party here (isn't that what these lists are all about?), but my God, what a major work. Barton Fink is every bit as dense and as literate as No Country for Old Men and as gripping and darkly hilarious as Fargo. John Turturro's performance is the perfect anchor, a twitchy live-wire with dueling inferiority and superiority complexes falling headfirst into a nightmare. He's matched (haunted?) perfectly by John Goodman, giving one of his best performances, using his folksy charm and twinkling eyes to terrifying effect. 

Again, though, the film is primarily an incredible achievement because of the Coens. Between their writing and directing, Barton Fink pulls at so many threads and juggles a number of conflicting tones to create a singularly hellish vision of Hollywood and an entertainment industry caught between World War II and the rise of McCarthyism. It's a marvel. I can't wait to watch it again and again.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.

04. Hoop Dreams (dir. Steve James, 1994; USA; 171 min.)

"That's why when somebody say, 'When you get to the NBA, don't forget about me,' and that stuff. Well, I should've said to them, 'If I don't make it, don't you forget about me.'"

Hoop Dreams is every bit as monumental as its reputation suggests, both a masterpiece of non-fiction filmmaking and the blueprint for the next thirty years of documentaries. The editing work alone here is unbelievable, with the film starting life as a 30-minute PBS short and growing into a three-hour-long epic.

The triumph of Hoop Dreams is a reminder that documentary filmmaking is an act of sculpture. Director Steve James collected 250 hours of footage over five years of shooting, which he and his Oscar-nominated team of editors, Frederick Marx and William Haugse, whittled down to a single, thrilling experience. The film is long, but not without reason. By the end, you feel like you've lived William Gates' and Arthur Agee's high school years with them.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel and HBO Max.

05. Out of Sight (dir. Steven Soderbergh, 1998; USA; 123 min.)

"It's like seeing someone for the first time, like you can be passing on the street, and you look at each other for a few seconds, and there's this kind of a recognition like you both know something. Next moment the person's gone, and it's too late to do anything about it. And you always remember it because it was there, and you let it go, and you think to yourself, 'What if I had stopped? What if I had said something?' What if, what if... it may only happen a few times in your life." "Or once." "Or once."

Call it a crime thriller, call it a neo-noir, call it a rom-com, call it whatever you like: Out of Sight is all of them, and it's extraordinarily good at being all of them at the same time. Every aspect of the film is perfectly realized: Steven Soderbergh's impeccable command over tone and genre; Scott Frank's charming, intelligent, complicated screenplay; the unstoppable movie star charisma of George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez. Everything that makes Clooney such a compelling actor is on full display here, and I'm not sure he's ever been better. Same goes for Lopez: she hasn't gotten nearly the respect she deserves for being such a remarkable screen presence, even in movies that don't deserve her, but she's luminous in this. 

And, my God, Anne V. Coates' editing -- the brilliant story structure feels like it might fall apart at the seams if she hadn't held it together. Between a legend in the editing room and a legend in the making in the director's chair, Out of Sight seems to come together effortlessly. It's as graceful and entertaining a film as you'll ever see. I loved everything about it.

Currently available to rent on demand.

06. Punch-Drunk Love (dir. Paul Thomas Anderson, 2002; USA; 95 min.)

"It really looks like Hawaii here."

This one really is magical, huh? Between the cinematography (Robert Elswit, a legend) and the music (Jon Brion, a legend) to the beautifully funny script by director Paul Thomas Anderson, just about every individual aspect of the film sings. This is true, too, for the performances -- Emily Watson is always so lovely, and Luis Guzmán should probably be in every PTA film ever made, but especially Adam Sandler (who, Uncut Gems be damned, has never, ever been better), and Philip Seymour Hoffman, who makes a three-course meal out of minimal screen time.

I feel like I've seen or catastrophized the worst possible version of a movie like this so many times -- an off-kilter indie love story between two #weirdos, the kind of thing that aimed to replicate this film or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind -- but the experience of actually seeing Punch-Drunk Love knocked me out. It's just so funny and romantic and sad and sweet and winning. It's a thing of real beauty.

Currently available to rent on demand.

07. Female Trouble (dir. John Waters, 1974; USA; 97 min.)

"This is so exciting! Just think of all the little horror stories that go on in other people's lives!"

What a terrific vehicle for Divine. What a brilliant continuation of the Dreamlanders' work. I certainly appreciated Pink Flamingos, even if it made me genuinely sick, and I understand why it's still seen as Waters' masterpiece, but to me, Female Trouble almost feels like a more complete, more precise, and more vicious variation of the earlier film. As a hit job on the sensibilities of good taste, its aim is deadly.

The film's look and sound is more polished and impressive than in Pink Flamingos, too, particularly Van Smith's astonishing costumes, Vincent Peranio's production design, and the horribly catchy theme song. The whole film feels like a fever dream, and it would be very easy to imagine this as a straight-up horror movie if there wasn't such a relentlessly funny rebellious spirit to it. Even still, the final act is genuinely disturbing. "Who wants to die for art?"

It's horrible. It's wonderful. It's kind of a masterpiece in its own sick way.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.

08. Memories of Murder (dir. Bong Joon-ho, 2003; South Korea; 131 min.)

"What did he look like?" "Well... kind of plain." "In what way?" "Just... ordinary."

At the risk of saying something extremely obvious, Bong Joon-ho is a really great director, huh? Purely looking at how he manages to make Memories of Murder -- one bleak, bleak, bleak film -- both extremely funny and extremely upsetting and, in multiple sequences, genuinely frightening, it's clear that Bong is a generational talent. 

The cast is stacked (of course) -- Song Kang-ho holds the whole thing together beautifully, lending the final shot its gravitas, but he's flanked by the likes of Kim Sang-kyung, Kim Roi-ha, Byun Hee-bong, and, most memorably, the chilling Park Hae-il.

It's just kind of a knockout on all levels, from that gorgeous golden hour cinematography at the beginning giving way to the muted grays of the procedural to the way Bong milks an overwhelming sense of dread out of something as mundane as a rainstorm.

Currently available to rent on demand.

09. The Long Goodbye (dir. Robert Altman, 1973; USA; 112 min.)

"It's okay with me."

A neo-noir crime thriller with the vibes of a 70s hangout movie, The Long Goodbye is everything you could ever want from a Robert Altman/Philip Marlowe movie: grimy, rambling, uncomfortable, and very funny in its own bone-dry way. The soundtrack consisting of just one song? Inspired.

Elliott Gould is the perfect center for the film, giving a wonderfully relaxed, effortlessly cool performance. Altman's naturalistic conversation style mixes beautifully with the genre's stylized dialogue (and every other character tells Gould how cute he is, and you know what? It's true!). Also, it's got one of the great movie cats.

I'm positive I missed some of the inner workings of it, but it washed over me like a wave at the beach, and I loved every bit of it.

Currently available to rent on demand.

10. Crooklyn (dir. Spike Lee, 1994; USA; 114 min.)

"Ladybug, you turned out pretty good considering you were raised in a house full of ashy, rusty-butt boys."

Maybe it's just how inundated we currently are with this subgenre -- Esteemed Filmmaker Reflects On Their Childhood, à la Belfast and The Fabelmans and Roma -- but I can't help but feel like Crooklyn would become something of an awards darling in 2024. Like the best of the subgenre's newer films, Spike Lee's look back isn't really about him. He's definitely there (or at least a spectacled Knicks-loving stand-in is), but Crooklyn is primarily about growing up from the perspective of his sister Joie -- or rather, her stand-in Troy.

It's also more generally about the dynamics of the family and, by extension, their neighborhood. In both regards -- as a portrait of Black girlhood in the early '70s and as a memory piece of a family on the precipice of a major turning point -- the film is a triumph. The cast is tremendous, from the parents played by Alfre Woodard and Delroy Lindo, to the miraculously well-cast group of kids. Their chemistry together is magical (and my God, they are all so cute -- the scene of them singing along to the Partridge Family is instantly iconic to me).

There are so many well-observed slice-of-life moments in the film: all of the scenes of the family spending time together, RuPaul(!) in the bodega, Aunt Song (a very good Frances Foster) singing Christian songs while Troy stares at her. And, because it's a Spike Lee joint, Crooklyn is a stylistic and technical achievement. It has one of the most audacious aspect ratio changes I've ever seen (and honestly, I'm not sure if it's successful, but I admire the swing!), plus one of the funniest uses of the floating dolly shot in any of Lee's movies.

A supremely lovely film.

Currently available to rent on demand.

Other films I loved (in alphabetical order): After Hours (dir. Martin Scorsese, 1985); Aguirre, the Wrath of God (dir. Werner Herzog, 1972); An Autumn Afternoon (dir. Yasujirō Ozu, 1962); The Bad News Bears (dir. Michael Ritchie, 1976); Baseball (dir. Ken Burns, 1994); Big Trouble in Little China (dir. John Carpenter, 1986); Blue Velvet (dir. David Lynch, 1986); Burn After Reading (dir. Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, 2008); The Cassandra Cat (dir. Vojtěch Jasný, 1963); Eyes Wide Shut (dir. Stanley Kubrick, 1999); Green Porno (dir. Isabella Rossellini, 2008); Heaven Can Wait (dir. Warren Beatty and Buck Henry, 1978); High Hopes (dir. Mike Leigh, 1988); History is Made at Night (dir. Frank Borzage, 1937); The Hunt for Red October (dir. John McTiernan, 1990); I've Heard the Mermaids Singing (dir. Patricia Rozema, 1987); The Insider (dir. Michael Mann, 1999); It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (dir. Stanley Kramer, 1963); Joy Street (dir. Suzan Pitt, 1995); La Haine (dir. Mathieu Kassovitz, 1995); La Roue (dir. Abel Gance, 1923); Leave Her to Heaven (dir. John M. Stahl, 1945); Love Letter (dir. Kinuyo Tanaka, 1953); Marnie (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1964); The Match Factory Girl (dir. Aki Kaurismäki, 1990); Miller's Crossing (dir. Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, 1990); Morning for the Osone Family (dir. Keisuke Kinoshita, 1946); Oslo, August 31st (dir. Joachim Trier, 2011); Querelle (dir. Rainer Werner Fassbinder, 1982); Robert Frost: A Lover's Quarrel with the World (dir. Shirley Clarke, 1963); RoboCop (dir. Paul Verhoeven, 1987); The Salesman (dir. Asghar Farhadi, 2016); Seconds (dir. John Frankenheimer, 1966); The Shop on Main Street (dir. Ján Kadár and Elmar Klos, 1965); Simon of the Desert (dir. Luis Buñuel, 1965); Spellbound (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1945); The Thing (dir. John Carpenter, 1982); Tokyo Godfathers (dir. Satoshi Kon, 2003); Tokyo Olympiad (dir. Kon Ichikawa, 1965); Twister (dir. Jan de Bont, 1996); The Unknown (dir. Tod Browning, 1927); Walking (dir. Ryan Larkin, 1968); When a Woman Ascends the Stairs (dir. Mikio Naruse, 1960); Wooden Crosses (dir. Raymond Bernard, 1932)

And finally, some miscellaneous viewing stats:

First movie watched in 2024: The Cassandra Cat (dir. Vojtěch Jasný, 1963)

First movie seen in theaters in 2024: I Know Where I'm Going! (dir. Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger, 1945)

Final movie watched in 2024: Asteroid City (dir. Wes Anderson, 2023)

Final movie seen in theaters in 2024: Interstellar (dir. Christopher Nolan, 2014)

Least favorite movie: Viva Zapata! (dir. Elia Kazan, 1952)

Oldest movie: How a Mosquito Operates (dir. Winsor McCay, 1912)

Longest movie: La Roue (dir. Abel Gance, 1923 - 413 min.)

Shortest movie: Stellar (dir. Stan Brakhage, 1993 - 2 min.)

Month with the most viewings: February (54)

Month with the fewest viewings: October and November (7 each)

First movie from 2024 seen: Drive-Away Dolls (dir. Ethan Coen)

Total movies seen in theaters: 30 (including shorts)

Total movies: 246

[maybeitsapineapple]

THE GREAT GATSBY, LONDON 30TH APRIL

OVERALL:

A solid 7.5. I am NOT judging it as an adaptation of the book

If I liked the songs more I might give it an 8.5 but icl I think the songs are pretty mid. Also I swear to god the Gatsby/Daisy duet theme is Go The Distance from Hercules, especially when it comes up in Go

The individual performances are better than the thing as a whole. The charcterisation is fairly surface-level, and the first half is a bit rushed. Not in a ‘Nick’s whirlwind adventure’ type of way but in a ‘we’ve got to introduce all these characters fairly separately before we can start the plot’ kind of way. It is still a very entertaining experience, if you’re okay being entertained by visuals and vocals rather than substance and storytelling (which I am)

More specific thoughts under the cut!

TECHNICAL STUFF:

The party scenes look somewhat underpopulated. The dancing moves around the stage a lot to fill it, but if I’ve looked at the correct numbers the stage of the Broadway Theatre is like 10’ narrower than the Coliseum and the ensemble is the same size

The dancing was fun to watch and the ensemble are very talented but it looked a little incongruously modern at times

Set pieces are great. They look good and give the right sense of space/perspective without taking up too much space

Ensemble costumes look great. Cohesive but differentiated

Some of Gatsby’s outfits did not scream 'rich’ as much as I expected them to

One of the car doors came slightly loose which did make it look a little cheap, but you can’t deny that cars driving around on stage is fun. The positioning/angling is also good, and they take up space when they’re supposed to and don’t when they’re not

The lighting is fun and glitzy without being overwhelming. The night scenes look dark without being too dark. The spotlight during One-Way Road wobbled a fair amount though

PERFORMANCES:

Jamie Muscato obviously has a great voice, and it suits his songs, especially as he doesn’t sound quite so modern as Jeremy Jordan does on the OBC album. Great at portraying an earnest ball of anxiety, but there’s not a lot of mysterious, confident, public-persona-Gatsby build-up, so we don’t really get an opportunity for contrast. He’s charming enough in his scenes with Daisy, and he does pull off the growth from ‘ball of anxiety’ to ‘your wife’s leaving you for me’ convincingly, despite, again, not having a lot of time to do it in

Frances Mayli McCann suffers from having particularly uninteresting solos imo but delivers on the emotion even when the score doesn’t, and delivers her dialogue engagingly too. Obviously a brilliant voice and particularly captivating in Beautiful Little Fool, which is fortunate because it rescues what is otherwise a somewhat uninspiring final ballad

Corbin Bleu my love my fucking love. Everything he does is golden. His singing, his dancing, his speaking, his expressions, his movement around the stage. Unfortunately they sort of forget that he’s supposed to be the narrator for most of the middle

Amber Davies is, again, brilliant. Such energy, and she and Corbin Bleu have enough chemistry that it almost makes up for their godawful romantic subplot (which is not entirely the fault of the musical, in fairness). Doesn’t really make up for the somewhat flat characterisation

Joel Montague was lovely. Keeps it lowkey for most of the show, so it hits well when he really gets into it in act 2

JOJ is so good even with a broken arm. Very fucking growly. I am biased he’s my favourite Phantom (and Valjean too for that matter, although I haven’t really explored Les Mis boots so I don’t have many points of comparison)

Which bring us to Jon Robyns. I often find he’s a bit too nasal for my liking, but it sounds fine in an American accent, and I would have liked him to have a little more singing to do. Considering how much time he spends on stage, you sort of expect him to. His acting is a brilliant balance of laid-back but with the potential for anger always right there. He does smarmy bastard very well

Rachel Tucker. jfc she’s good. Like I knew she was good but like. She was funny and lively and then One-Way Road was just fucking chills for the entire song. In a show full of brilliantly performed solos this was probably my favourite, even though the song itself isn’t

[taehyungfirst]

Sometimes, it’s okay to admit that we tend to infantilize our faves and project our own desires and expectations onto them and I think, in the discourse surrounding Tae’s documentary and this concert, that’s exactly what’s happening.

You mentioned that Tae didn’t know about documentaries, but how does that make sense? He’s been an idol for years, has witnessed the entire process up close, and has seen other members release solo albums complete with documentaries. So why assume he wouldn’t know? You also said documentaries were “given,” but that’s simply not accurate. The decision to film a documentary was left up to each member. Every one of them chose to do it except Tae. Even if we assumed that documentaries were offered as part of a package, why is this particular thing being blamed on the company when Tae himself chose not to work with them for his solo album?

If anyone should have advised him on the process, it would have been MHJ who produced the album not BigHit. And ultimately, it was Tae’s decision not to shoot one. He even said so himself: that he didn’t realize fans wanted a documentary, but now that he knows, he’d be open to doing one. If the company had truly denied him the opportunity, why would he now express such certainty that he can make one just because fans asked? Wouldn’t the same company supposedly blocking him then still have the power to block him now? Why would he be so confident, unless the choice had always been his?

Continuing to frame this as unfair treatment toward Tae especially in comparison to the other members’ concerts is, at this point, just not accurate. Hobi went Live and explained that it was Jungkook and Jin who asked to perform with him. He didn’t invite them, nor did the company. They wanted to be involved Tae clearly didn’t. That’s not mistreatment. That’s personal choice.

And to be clear, this isn’t about defending the company because I never would. But it’s also not fair to place blame on them for things they didn’t control. If Tae were ever to come online and say the company forced him to perform at a concert or ordered him to shoot a documentary, many of the same people who are currently upset would still turn around and criticize the company for making idols do things they don’t want to do.

It’s a good thing that the members have a level of autonomy over their solo projects. Let’s not turn that into something negative. We may not always understand or agree with their choices, and that’s okay but disliking a decision doesn’t automatically mean someone else made it for them.

I’m not infantilizing anyone and I’m not projecting any desires on him, it’s simply that you guys in attempt to justify company’s actions find every single loophole possible.

All this rant is based on one big inaccuracy: Layover was produced by Ador, but the rollout promotion is under BIGHIT. The album is under BIGHIT. So, if there was anyone who was responsible for suggesting a documentary is bighit, because the documentary is part of the promo package considering that six members out of seven got it. Girl, you’re an army, right? So shouldn’t this be weird to you? Six members getting something and one goes as far as saying “I didn’t know abt it”, isn’t it weird no one went up to him and said “wanna shoot a doc”?

You can say you are not defending the company all you want but that’s exactly what you’re doing in your ask, and you’re not expecting for Tae the same fairness you rightfully expect it’s given to the other members. Coming on here and saying I’m infantilizing him because I expect he gets treated the same as six other people is low and distasteful, and I hope one day you can just free yourselves from this imaginary beef you have with Tae.

[rickybaby]

Lawson did have a strong race, but just like how a lot of luck for Yuki managed to get him a Haul of points at the beginning of the season, it was no different for Liam today.

Liam had a fresh engine, and he also gained 5 places due to the first lap incident. He also gained a place due to Lewis's dnf. We also know that only 1 driver has a good race while the other is left to fight for themselves. Today, Liam had the strategy that worked in his favor.

He also was losing pace at the end while Franco was flying. Had they pitted Franco with Liam, it might have been a different story. Liam would have probably ended up p10, and if they didn't frantically call KMag to pit, it would have been p12.

But at the same time, he also kept it clean while so many others couldn't.

The guy can drive, and he can drive well, but he's also not going to be an ideal candidate to drive besides Max. Quite frankly, neither is Yuki.

If they want to replace Max, then sure get in the Liams or the Oscar's (Oscar clears Liam though, Oscar pre-f1 cv is worlds better) Their flames would either burn out or they'd burn the team.

But if they're replacing Perez, then they need a team player.

If they were a serious team, they'd have tested all 4 drivers this year in the Red Bull, same conditions, same day.

I said this when Yukis fans were thrilled Daniel was leaving, Yuki is going to be their tester now. He's going to be expected to work with whatever they throw at him, the Daniel special,if I may call it that.

I do not think they're going to give them a fair chance because the team cannot seem to handle two cars.

CoTa and Mexico is also where the team has previously done well.

But I also think red bull have bigger problems than Yuki , Liam (and even Daniel) at this point.

Ferrari just need to score 9 points more next race to overtake them.

I'm sorry this is long, I really enjoy your takes and wondered what you might think about all this.

At the end of the day, it’s all about making the most of the circumstances in a race and Liam did just that. It was a successful first race for him and we can’t deny that.

The thing is all three of them — Yuki, Daniel and Liam — deserve a chance at the red bull seat. Yuki, for having on paper beat Daniel even tho the spin of today sort of makes it clear why he’s never been seriously considered for it. We all know the reasons why Daniel should have at least had a chance at the red bull seat — he’s a known quantity, he can handle the car the way max likes it, he’s a sure pair of hands under pressure, he clearly has a higher ceiling of performance than Yuki and more importantly, he was given an ultimatum before the summer break and he rose to the challenge. Liam, yeah he probably didn’t have a strong junior career but then so did Daniel. He’s clearly an adaptable and ballsy driver and deserves to be in formula one and so deserves to fight for a top seat.

The only person who doesn’t deserve being here is checo. He shouldn’t have been here from the beginning of the year and yet, he has his seat indefinitely secured. If Red bull truly cared about the longevity of their driver succession order, they would have put Daniel into that seat and give him that final chance to show whether he still had it or not. It would have given Lawson the chance to properly settle in at vcarb which would mean that hadjar also gets the time to be ready. We all know the logical way all of this would have been resolved but yet here we are ..

[alliepretends]

i could be wrong and this could be outdated information, but on the D20 wiki riz page, under trivia it says that riz is confirmed asexual, and implied to be aromantic but this is NOT confirmed, and i think this worries me a lot in the fandom. it was the same with adaine before the introduction of oisin, where she was still fluid in her sexuality because she is a teenager. i feel like (and don't get me wrong, this is a very valid feeling considering the lack of representation) that there is so much pressure on riz the character and murph the player right now from the fandom, and i worry that if there is ever any sort of romantic or qpr storyline for riz, there will be a huge amount of criticism as a result, because so many people have put their hopes of representation on this character. i don't really have a point to make, but in terms of the TTRPG show space, dimension 20 has done so much already, and i really, really fear the fandom turning against them for how they might choose to represent their characters.

I think that's a fair concern. I also think it's something we have to be able to have a balanced conversation on. Technically, Riz is neither confirmed to be asexual or aromantic. Brennan's word of god confirmation in an Adventuring Party for another season is something they could walk back. And they would be well within their rights as creators to do so. They would also be within their rights to make Riz canon ace only and not aro. However, the aromantic coding in Sophmore Year was pretty heavy, and although my understanding is that the Dropout cast steers away from the internet now, I don't believe they did after the release of Sophmore Year. And Dropout likely has some kind of PR team that is aware of the discussion of the aromantic coding. If they've backed themselves into a corner with a story they don't want to or don't feel comfortable telling, I would hope they find a way of communicating that to the audience that's respectful of the pre-existing aro coding. Because this is such an underrepresented community and we do deserve some respectful consideration. If they fail to do this, I don't think that makes them bad creators or bad performers. I don't think anyone should turn against them (although the internet being what it is I'm sure some will, that's just a sad reality of internet culture). That said, I think there's a difference between being respectful of creators as people, and shutting down valid criticism. I think it would be fair for aromantic people to be hurt and disappointed if this happened. And I think it would be fair for those people to voice that hurt and disappointment. You're right that there's a lot of pressure. And that can lead to dangerous situations for online celebrities. But I don't think we should ignore the heavy aromantic coding and pretend we're not eager for this representation just because the creators might shy away from the pressure of it at the last minute. Nor do I think we should avoid criticizing our favorite creators when they don't live up to our expectations, just because some people might take it too far. A no bummers fandom attitude can stifle thoughtful discussion just as much as an overly vitriolic one can.

Also, I think a canon qpr developing for Riz would be fine with almost everyone. What I'm talking about with fandom shipping culture is very different than that happening with real representation. If that's the direction they go in canon, that's still a valid aromantic story to tell. (Although, to be frank, if a canon qpr did happen for Riz, I think the chances of it being with Fabain are pretty low. The idea that they are the closest of the Bad Kids isn't really supported by canon, in my opinion, if you take your shipping goggles off.)

I hope this makes sense

[sophiasharp]

Brain has been rotting out of its skull these last few days thinking about Copia’s initially rocky relationship with the ghouls, particularly about how he made it so much worse to start with.

Cause I gotta imagine that he was only put officially in charge of Ghost after the deaths of the other Papas, so that’s gonna leave him a bit of a mess for a bit, especially because he suddenly doesn’t know who the hell he can trust anymore now that his main support system just got completely wiped out.

(They were the strongest men he knew, they may have played dumb to the Clergy but each of them were so much smarter than anyone gave them credit for, he’d been so sure they would be here till the Abbey itself crumbled, and yet now he’s here. He, the useless bastard younger brother, has lived to see another era, and they haven’t, and it just isn’t fucking fair-)

So when he’s initially put in charge of the ghouls, he endeavors to be detached- to be what he knows Imperator would want from him for fear that even the slightest provocation could send his house of cards crumbling down, as it were. He referred to them only as “ghoul,” was straight and to the point during rehearsal, and then avoided them completely in everyday life if it could be helped.

And then there is the photo shoot. You know, the one with the severed head.

(It was a threat, it was an open fucking threat, not just to him but to anyone else left that could be considered close to him, it was a threat to play his part like they wanted or otherwise join his predecessors in death, it was a warning to his few remaining friends to stay away lest they prove “distracting” enough to the new band leader that they must be dealt with, because why else would it be Terzo’s real head? Why else would they go to the trouble of decapitating a dead man for a magazine cover?)

The day after, Copia gets so much worse. He can’t talk to anyone about the stress he’s under, can’t safely relieve his frustrations and anxiety to anyone else so he takes it out on the ghouls. He becomes hyper critical off their performances. So what if Rain is still learning the bass? So what if Cumulus has yet to fully acclimate to the surface? So what if Dew only regained consciousness from his element change a week ago and is still dealing with the loss of almost his entire pack? So what if they’re all grieving the same way he is? It’s no excuse. They need to be better.

(Don’t they know? Don’t they know the razor’s edge they all were balancing on? Don’t they know they’re all one mistake away from being cast aside? From being sent to the pit without any warning? From having their existence be deemed not worth of the air they breathed? Don’t they know? Don’t they?)

That day the tension snaps between Copia and the ghouls. It’s one unneeded criticism too many and they all just. Leave. They’ve had enough of thinly veiled threats for one day, never mind the rest of the week. It serves as a wake-up call for Copia, makes him realize just how badly he’d fucked up taking his aggression out on the band mates he’s likely to be spending his entire musical career with.

He regroups after that. Endeavors to apologize. To explain himself, if they’d let him. He knew nothing would mend the rift he’d created immediately, but the sooner he admitted his wrongdoings, the sooner he could start over with them, prove he was more than just a cowardly dog hiding at Imperator’s heels.

So he goes to the ghoul den- not for the first time overall, but certainly for the first time since Terzo was dragged off stage all those months ago -and tries to talk to the ghouls, the majority of whom were huddled around the coffee table in front of the couch.

Mountain gets up to meet him in the doorway, and before Copia can get so much as a syllable out, a pamphlet is being thrust into his chest with enough force to knock the wind out of him.

No, not a pamphlet, he realizes as his heart sinks. A magazine. One with a hauntingly familiar image on the cover.

(He still feels the cold blood through his gloves, still feels the weight of the head in his arms, the bright lights of the camera flash seared into his brain even a day later. He wants to scream. To cry. To vomit. To say or do anything and yet it’s as if he’s rooted in place, only able to look at that damn photo and his brother’s dull, lightless eyes-)

“We may be under your leadership, but If you ever try to hurt my family again, they will never find your body. I’d suggest you leave now before I lose my patience.”

[ribstongrowback]

after trying to play Uknown Armies for a while i think that what bothers me is that it didn't go hard enough into its weird shit and instead is kind of stuck in the time of monsters between the sandboxy days of old and the more ritualized, codified phases of play of modern storygames such as blades in the dark. feels like a game that wanted to modernize its genre but didn't know where to go with it and ended up missing its mark.

While UA a game about driven people trying to do dangerous shit for profit and ideology, in a comparable (though very distinct) way to Blades in the Dark, it focuses also on very specific things that people can do with its magic, in a way that is tied to this philosophy of game design that i find good OSR tends to tease out which is giving people weird tools to see what people do with them. But it also gets very diluted and messy with everything else.

for those of you who haven't played it, UA's core resolution mechanic is a d100 roll under sort of affair. the main things under which you roll are attributes that are determined by how hardened you are on five Shock Gauges that represent the sort of trauma life throws at you (Helplessness, Isolation, Identity, Unnatural, and Violence). for example, being very hardened to violence will make you better at Struggle, which allows you to punch people, but worse at Connect, which allows you to relate to the folks you meet. your gauges accumulate Hardened notches which allow you to shrug off some kind of trauma whenever you manage to stand firm while faced with horror, and a secondary track takes up failed notches whenever you lose your shit, serving as a sort of insanity track. this system is already fairly rich and complete in itself, i'm only giving you the basic view of it, but it is fair to say you've already got a game with only that, and that is a problem, because what UA wants to be its core is its Identities.

Instead of skills, your character can put percentile points into Identities that represent core aspects of who they are. This can be a job, an occupation, a hobby, an art they perform or even just a belief they hold dear. In some circumstances, you can roll under your identity rather than the appropriate attribute, and failing a roll guarantees you'll get more points at the end of the session in that track, which is the only way to progress in something without getting worse at something else.

this is also where magick with a k comes in. if you wanna do magick, not only does it have to be one of your identities, it has to be THE identity that you obsess over. normies can obsess over normal things like tax filing, but you are obsessed with being so wrong about cinema that it allows you to do looney tunes shit to people. and the thing with this is that, what it wants to do, right, is give you something that you'll always want to use. it states outright in the book that it considers being a magic user in the same way as being an alcoholic, you never really cease to be one. it's always there and you can't ever really be anything else because a single drop can make you plunge again and it's always right here, waiting for you.

which i find interesting and compelling! you could make an entire game about this! there is so much stuff in there you could make an entire game about! but it's all so incoherent it ends up being less than the sum of its part. the core drive of the PCs in UA is to advance the Goal of their cabal. the goal is basically a track measured in percents and the players have to do stuff in the background to advance it. they just say that they do a thing and they think about how much time that take and then they roll d10+5 if it's a thing that's just kind of the cost of doing business and 2d10+10 if it's something that would bring them major advancement. and that's supposed to be the core of their personnal arcs. and it has basically 0 interractions with the part where you can make hats that melt people's heads. sorrow.

[fandomanimatic-tournament]

Fandom song animatic tournament: Side A Round 1

Your Stupid Face - Kaden MacKay

"I just really like your face You don't have to look so happy I'm not really into love that you flaunt In some glittery font But if that's what you want Make it snappy"

Ready as I'll ever be - Tangled the series

"So gather around now (ooh) It's time to sing It's bittersweet (ooh) but it's a hell of a silver lining I tell the same old stories As y'all get your wings And I get better every time I kiss a weathered cheek And watching doves fly Sooner than me I guess I'm ready, ready as I'll never be"

Remember that we're voting on how Iconic they are for ANIMATICS, not for the song itself. In order to make things fair, the tone and mood of the song should not affect how iconic it is (for example, a serious song should not be considered more iconic than a joke song just because it's serious)

Propaganda and animatic links of the songs under the cut:

Your Stupid Face - Kaden MacKay

Propaganda:

Ultimate enemies to lovers potential as it starts with tge singer hating the other party and slowly growing to love them. Also has an excellent tma animatic (haven't watched any other animatics for it but a quick search shows there's a lot)

Animatics with the song:

Helluva Boss Stolas x Blitz

Don't Starve Together Wxwood

The Magnus Archives

DSMP TNTduo

Toilet Bound Hanako Kun Mitsuba Animatic

HFJONE Sodapack

Ready as I'll ever be - Tangled the series

Propaganda:

I can list at least three full animatics for this song for every major fandom I have ever been a part of, and still it's so hard to find them because there are so goddamn many

It's an absolute banger from the absolute King Alan Menken, originally from the pretty underrated Tangled the Series. I've seen animatics for this for like every fandom I can think of, and it deserves it because it slaps and has great vocal performances from Jeremy Jordan and Eden Espinosa.

i'm pretty sure this song is more well known than the show it came from is lol. i looked up "ready as i'll ever be animatic" on youtube just to confirm and counted 20+ of them, and i didn't even finish scrolling. it is a genuinely really good song from a /surprisingly/ good show that imo is super underrated. i definitely would recommend checking it out if you get the opportunity!

it's a fandom song that transcended its fandom and became a hit for twist villains.

The song really fosters creativity with how many animatics can create a darker AU where the usual protagonist (or a close associate) is made to be the antagonist because of injustice suffered and the other characters have to fight against them

I've seen *at least* one animatic of this song in almost every fandom I've looked into

It has a lot of Animaniacs because it is sung by an ensemble cast It is good for demonstrating a lot of different conflicting perspectives of characters for your big dramatic fight and its catchy and I love it

I mean everyone loves a scenario where one of the main cast becomes a villain for tragic reasons and the rest of the characters have to fight them while dealing with the betrayal and attempting to make them see reason

How in the actual hell does a song from a Tangled spinoff series go this spectacularly hard? More to the point, how does it have an animatic/AMV for practically EVERY FANDOM IN EXISTENCE?! Yeah, most people know it from that one Warrior Cats MAP, but there is SO much more. Not to mention the bucketloads of people who used this song for their own OCs, which is always a bonus.

Animatics with the song:

Star Vs The Forces Of Evil

Miraculous Ladybug

Sander Sides

Danganronpa V3 fantasy AU

BNHA Villain Deku Animatic

DSMP

Please keep in mind that I don't know all the media and fandoms of the animatics provided as examples and I don't have the time (nor the will) to research them all. Don't come into my notes or my ask box complaining about them being included, I will simply block you. HOWEVER, if a ship animatic includes a minor and an adult, do tell me, I'll remove it.

[aliveandfullofjoy]

Yet again, it's time to indulge in one of my favorite new year traditions: my ten favorite new-to-me films of 2023!

This is a wild, wild group of movies, but all of them got under my skin in one way or another and made this year that much brighter. If you like, consider this a strong endorsement for each of them.

Same rules as always: no movies from this past year (2023) or the year prior (2022). Every other year is fair game.

01. Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (dir. Chantal Akerman, 1975; Belgium/France; 202 mins.)

"I often cry when I think of you, Jeanne."

Sight & Sound's newly crowned Greatest Fim of All-Time was one of my first viewing experiences of 2023, and it loomed like a cloud over the rest of my moviegoing year. It was a bit of an ideal viewing experience - my favorite local independent theater had a showing, and the sizable audience was utterly enthralled by it. The massive Jeanne Dielman is a masterpiece in observation and behavior, and its power reveals itself through the way Akerman creates and unravels Jeanne's routine. She turns the lights off in every room she leaves. She replaces the lid of the money jar every single time. She watches her neighbor's baby for a little while in the afternoon. She looks presentable and pristine at all times, including after her sex work. When parts of these routines start shifting - the lid being left off the jar, the lights being left on for a bit too long, tousled hair - it plays like a jump scare. 

I was shocked at how quickly this flew by. By the time the first day ended, I glanced at the time out of curiosity and was surprised to see it had already been an hour. Jeanne Dielman is a film that is frequently called "boring," which is both fair and entirely the point. It's still utterly mesmerizing within that boredom. This is thanks in large part to Delphine Seyrig's performance. With her hypernaturalistic stillness, Seyrig reaches rare levels of unaffected authenticity. Jeanne doesn't really feel like a character at all -- even with as little as we truly know about her, she feels like a human being.

Essential viewing. Long live the queen.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel and Max.

02. The Ascent (dir. Larisa Shepitko, 1977; Soviet Union; 111 mins.)

"Thanks for not leaving me. With company, it's... Okay, let's move on."

My final film in my 52 Films by Women challenge from a few years ago (shut up), Larisa Shepitko's The Ascent must be one of the greatest war movies ever made. Admittedly, it's not a genre I'm often drawn to, but Shepitko instills this film with an emotional power that becomes almost too much to bear.

Every act of cruelty, every gun fired, every open wound, is accompanied by a visceral pain. The way Shepitko uses the natural world as a stage for this story is astonishing - the vast snowy expanse of an unforgiving Russian winter, the rows of trees. Each of her actors manages to convey so much with their faces, too, especially the devastatingly good Lyudmila Polyakova, but the heart of the film is in the work of the two leads. Boris Plotnikov and Vladimir Gostyukhin work beautifully as a pair and as individuals. Shepitko masterfully traces the arc of their relationship against the backdrop of the war, and the end result is absolutely shattering.

The Ascent was, tragically, Shepitko's final film before she died in a car accident. It was my introduction to her as a filmmaker. I hope I can catch up with some of her earlier work, but The Ascent on its own is proof that she was a generational talent.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.

03. The Big Snit (dir. Richard Condie, 1985; Canada; 10 mins.)

"And stop sawing the table!!!"

Oh my God, I loved this so much? Other than being vaguely aware of the title and its good reputation, I had no expectations going into The Big Snit, but everything about it worked for me. The utterly bizarre sense of humor, the voice acting (especially the CAT?!), and Condie's deft combination of a marriage gone stale against the backdrop of nuclear anxiety make for a surprisingly moving ending. I think it might be a masterpiece of the form. And like Jeanne Dielman, it feels profoundly influential - it's easy to see the aftershocks of The Big Snit in a decade's worth of shows on Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network.

Currently streaming on the National Film Board of Canada's website.

04. Vagabond (dir. Agnès Varda, 1985; France; 105 mins.)

"I know little about her myself, but it seems to me she came from the sea."

There really was nobody like Agnès Varda. Vagabond, or Sans toit ni loi, if you prefer its evocative original title, is pretty handily the most emotionally devastating film of hers that I've seen. As Varda shows us Mona's journey through the French countryside, it's hard not to see shades of Wendy and Lucy or even Nomadland. Like the protagonists of those films, Mona struggles to keep her head above water while living on the margins of society, and, like Reichardt and Zhao, Varda manages to find the joyful, the beautiful, and the life-affirming underneath the hardship. She also coaxes stunning work out of Sandrine Bonnaire, who turns in an extraordinarily unaffected and naturalistic performance.

Vagabond's secret weapon might be in its structure. Marrying traditional narrative scenes with a documentary-like direct address, Varda creates an achingly realistic atmosphere. Her work as a documentarian is well-known, and as a bridge between narrative and documentary filmmaking, Vagabond may just be the crown jewel in Varda's expansive body of work.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.

05. A.I. Artificial Intelligence (dir. Steven Spielberg, 2001; USA; 146 mins.)

"And for the first time in his life, he went to that place where dreams are born."

Weepy existential sci-fi remains undefeated!

A.I. Artificial Intelligence is undeniably a huge swing. Genuinely feeling like that impossible mix between Spielberg's and Kubrick's sensibilities, A.I. achieves something of a hat trick - a fairytale steeped in existentialism. The Pinocchio comparisons are immediate and on-the-nose, but that doesn't make it any less fertile grounds for a compelling story. There's so much in this film that physically hurts the heart and the head to think about for too long - so much grief, so much cruelty - that framing it around David's immediately accessible journey toward becoming a real boy is pretty ingenious.

Of course, this film, maybe more than any of Spielberg's others, is deeply reliant on its lead performance. Haley Joel Osment is astonishing in this film, a blank slate for an entire world's love and anguish to project itself. Without him, the film would probably still be a fascinating sci-fi epic, but Osment lends the film the bulk of its emotional power. If we don't believe that David's entire reason for being comes from his need for love from his adopted mother (which, admittedly, is a pretty thin clothesline for the film's heavy plot to hang on), then we don't care. Osment makes us care. From anybody, this performance would be a triumph, but from a 12-year-old? It might be one of the miracles of acting.

Available to rent on demand.

06. Humanity and Paper Balloons (dir. Sadao Yamanaka, 1937; Japan; 86 mins.)

"How could he kill himself on such a nice day? How utterly selfish of him."

Up until watching this film, I don't think I ever paid any special attention to Sadao Yamanaka's name. Within a year of the release of Humanity and Paper Balloons, the 28-year-old Yamanaka would be dead.

His untimely death only hints at the kinds of films he could have made with more time. This, though, is surely one of the finest (and most depressing) final films I can think of. One of the great strengths of Humanity and Paper Balloons is how startlingly modern it all feels: it's a 1930s drama, yes, but Yamanaka's thoughtful, assured direction really brings the poetic and tragic script (written beautifully by Shintaro Mimura) and performances (especially Kanemon Nakamura as Shinza the hairdresser) to life. Like the best tragedies, the events of Humanity and Paper Balloons feel senselessly cruel and brutally inevitable, but unlike other tragedies, Yamanaka is careful to keep just a bit of disarming humor to prevent the film from feeling too heavy. 

It's an incredibly sad story beautifully told by a filmmaker struck down in his prime. Extremely worth a watch.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.

07. Mississippi Masala (dir. Mira Nair, 1991; USA; 118 mins.)

"Home is where the heart is. And my heart is with you."

There is so much in Mississippi Masala that's wonderful. There's the beautiful young couple at the center, Sarita Choudhury (in a lovely debut performance) and Denzel Washington (a few years after his first Oscar win), who are so hot together that it feels like the TV might catch on fire. There's the supporting cast, too, including the legendary Sharmila Tagore, the great Charles S. Dutton, and the soulful Roshan Seth, whose sad, exhausted face is the heart of the film. There's the sensitive script by Sooni Taraporevala, that somehow finds an intimate romantic drama in a sprawling story that includes the Indian exodus from Uganda, an immigrant family's assimilation into the American South, and two clearly defined family dramas in vastly marginalized communities.

Perhaps most wonderful is Nair's gorgeous direction. The film has an expressive, vibrant visual palette, with so many different shades of red accompanying Mina and Demetrius' blooming romance. This is a rich, sensual film, and one of the great romantic dramas of the 90s.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.

08. Lingua Franca (dir. Isabel Sandoval, 2019; Philippines/USA; 95 mins.)

"It doesn't matter where I go. They will hunt me down, and take me away."

Speaking of sensual! Sandoval, a true multi-hyphenate, is the director, writer, and lead performer in the stunning Lingua Franca.

The story, following an undocumented trans Filipina caregiver, is urgent, unabashedly political, and deeply moving. Sandoval and Eamon Farren both turn in deeply affecting performances, evocatively painting portraits of bruised souls trying desperately to find a way forward. The beauty in Sandoval's direction shows us that a way forward is within their grasp. It's the choices they need to make in striving for a better life that drive them further apart. The much-discussed sex scene is one of the most sensual and breathtaking in recent memory, but so much of the central romance is painted with such empathy and grace and beautiful visuals that it makes the unraveling feel all the more gutting. Also gutting is Lynn Cohen's quietly perfect performance. 

Lingua Franca is not Sandoval's directorial debut, but it does feel like the arrival of a major artist. She's clearly one of the most exciting filmmakers working today.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.

09. The Blue Angel (dir. Josef von Sternberg, 1930; Weimar Republic; 108 mins.)

"Men swarm around me like moths 'round a flame, And if their wings are singed, surely I can't be blamed."

It's easy to see The Blue Angel as a collision between the expressionism and full-body physicality of silent cinema (embodied in Emil Jannings' performance) and the daring, tempting new-age sound cinema (embodied, of course, by the iconic Marlene Dietrich), but that almost devalues the skill of the actual storytelling and filmmaking going on here. Jannings' relationship with Dietrich - as naive and one-sided as it may sometimes be - is inevitable and pitiful. It's ridiculous and tragic to watch as he throws his entire life away for the most fleeting, meaningless romance imaginable. 

Both lead performers are superb, of course. Dietrich, iconic across all of her Sternberg collaborations, is exquisite both in her onstage burlesque performances and her more intimate scenes with Jannings. Their chemistry is really lovely, even as we know it can never last. Jannings is tremendous, a layered and honest performance that culminates in an emotional breakdown that feels almost ripped from a Universal monster movie. The animalistic noises of his anguish are utterly haunting. Brutal stuff, and pretty handily my favorite Sternberg film.

Available to rent on demand.

10. Time Piece (dir. Jim Henson, 1965; USA; 9 mins.)

"Help!"

Why yes, that is the head of a young Jim Henson on that plate!

It's so weird seeing a Henson film without puppets, but if Time Piece is anything, it's weird. It's also brilliant - the product of Henson's singular creative voice. At just nine minutes, the short is a striking, funny, strange meditation on what it means to be beholden to the relentless march of time. It also boasts impeccable sound design and music, courtesy of the late, great Don Sebesky.

Currently available on Vimeo.

Special mention: Vittorio De Seta's 1955 documentaries.

In 1955, De Seta released six(!) documentary shorts: Islands of Fire, Surfarara, Easter in Sicily, The Age of Swordfish, Sea Countrymen, and Golden Parable. Stunning as individual films, but taken as a group, they become a meditation on the violence of living off the land and the endless cycle of life and death. Acting as director, editor, and cinematographer, De Seta marries ethnography and anthropology with artistry, creating bite-sized, miraculous films that immortalize life and labor in rural Sicily. The cinematography alone is jaw-dropping. Whether the films chronicle the Stromboli volcano, ancient religious rituals, a day of work in sulfur mines, harvesting grain, or the life of a fisherman, they are immersive and fleeting. The longest of these films is 12 minutes, and they all feel like dreams. Stunning stuff.

All six of these films, and more of De Seta's work, are streaming on the Criterion Channel.

Honorable mentions (in alphabetical order): After Yang (dir. Kogonada, 2021); Akira (dir. Katsuhiro Otomo, 1988); Asako I & II (dir. Ryusuke Hamaguchi, 2018); Beverly Hills Cop (dir. Martin Brest, 1984); The Boy Friend (dir. Ken Russell, 1971); Carnal Knowledge (dir. Mike Nichols, 1971); Dogfight (dir. Nancy Savoca, 1991); Game Night (dir. John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein, 2018); Girlhood (dir. Céline Sciamma, 2014); The Great Piggy Bank Robbery (dir. Robert Clampett, 1946); Heat (dir. Michael Mann, 1995); Italianamerican (dir. Martin Scorsese, 1974); Kajillionaire (dir. Miranda July, 2020); Linda Linda Linda (dir. Nobuhiro Yamashita, 2005); Mean Streets (dir. Martin Scorsese, 1973); Night of the Living Dead (dir. George A. Romero, 1968); Pink Flamingos (dir. John Waters, 1972) Saving Face (dir. Alice Wu, 2004); Shake! Otis at Monterey (dir. D. A. Pennebaker, Chris Hegedus, and David Dawkins, 1987); Shiva Baby (dir. Emma Seligman, 2020); Three Thousand (dir. asinnajaq, 2017); Videodrome (dir. David Cronenberg, 1983); When the Day Breaks (Amanda Forbis and Wendy Tilby, 1999); While You Were Sleeping (dir. Jon Turteltaub, 1995); Windy Day (dir. John Hubley and Faith Hubley, 1968); Wings of Desire (dir. Wim Wenders, 1987); Your Face (dir. Bill Plympton, 1987)

And finally, some miscellaneous viewing stats:

First movie watched in 2023: Akira (dir. Katsuhiro Otomo, 1988)

Final movie watched in 2023: The Devil Wears Prada (dir. David Frankel, 2006)

Least favorite movie: Blonde (dir. Andrew Dominik, 2022)

Oldest movie: The Impossible Voyage (dir. Georges Méliès, 1904)

Longest movie: The Ten Commandments (dir. Cecil B. DeMille, 1956 - 220 mins.)

Shortest movie: Premonitions Following an Evil Deed (dir. David Lynch, 1995 - 1 min.)

Month with the most viewings: January (35)

Month with the fewest viewings: May (5)

First movie from 2023 seen: Rye Lane (dir. Raine Allen-Miller, 2023)

Total movies: 231

Movies! They're good. Sometimes. Happy new year, friends!

[thejagermeister]

"It's What I Do" Lyrics - Back to the Future the Musical

Biff had a song that was cut from the musical, taking place as he enters Lou's Café in 1955 to pick on George. The song was cut the morning of the 14th preview in 2020, both for time and to let Goldie's number shine, as it took place in the same scene.

However the two versions are so distinct that I consider them separate songs. The first is "It's What I Do," an unapologetic villain song first performed at the 2017 song showcase. The next, "Good at Being Bad," is more introspective and gives Biff a sadder backstory. I'll talk more about the second version in its own post.

Demo on YouTube | Lyric transcription under the cut

BIFF I'm a bully Down to the roots And every goody two shoes Should be shakin' in their boots I'm a bully It's who I am Better make just like a tree and beat it I don't give a damn

You see we're all connected The predator, the prey It's just to be expected It's in my DNA

It's what I do Just what I do It's what I do

And if you ever wonder why I pick on you Your weakness only baits me The scent is in the air You know you can't escape me And you wouldn't even dare

And how you love to hate me Who said that life was fair? So get a clue I can't pity you It's what I do

ENSEMBLE He's a bully!

BIFF You bet I am

ENSEMBLE And nothing's gonna change him

BIFF 'Cause I love to boom and bam![?]

ENSEMBLE He's a bully!

BIFF And I'm comin' after you

ENSEMBLE You give him all your money

BIFF And you'll wind up black and blue

I wake up every morning A smile on my face I'm pushin' and I'm shovin' I'm gonna win this human race

It's what I do Just what I do It's what I do

And if you ever wonder why I pick on you You think that I don't see you Sneaking in that door "Maybe he's forgotten me He won't hurt us anymore" That ain't gonna happen 'Cause I'm rotten to the core

Let me review Don't misconstrue It's what I do

We're all in this together We all have roles to play The oppressed and the oppressor It's always been that way

ENSEMBLE He's a bully!

BIFF It's what I do

ENSEMBLE And nothing we can do or say Will make him go away He's a bully

BIFF It's just what I do

ENSEMBLE All we do is pay and pay

BIFF Every single day

ENSEMBLE He's a bully!

BIFF (SARCASTIC) Wha? A bully?

ENSEMBLE He's a bully!

BIFF Can this be true?

ENSEMBLE He's a bully!

BIFF I'm a bully?

ENSEMBLE He's a bully!

BIFF It's What I Do

[darklingichor]

Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett

Tis Hogswatch season on the Disc and those auditors of reality are sticking their collective hoods into the human world again. This time, they hire the assassin's guild to kill The Hogfather, the personification of the holiday spirit. Meanwhile, belief in this spirit seems to be waning in the Disc's children and he cannot be found.

What follows is Death trying to preserve belief in The Hogfather by performing the role himself, The Death of Rats and Quoth the Raven bringing in Susan because her Grandfather seems to have lost his mind, and she delving into the underworld of childhood myths, and Unseen University dealing with odd things popping up due to some excess belief hanging around.

I have heard a lot about this book just by following the discworld tags on tumblr, so what I had expected was a sort of Christmas special, a sort of send up of the "we must save Christmas" thing. I mean, yeah, there is a little of that vibe, but I should have know that it wasn't going to be that simple.

This book is dark, like original Christmas Carol dark, and I love it!

I read that people use to write Sir Terry Pratchett and say they hope that the real Grim Reaper is like the Discworld's Death. This would cause him to stare at a wall for several hours.

And I have to say, I understand both sides of this.

The Disc's Death is committed to being fair. He comes for all, no matter what. His timing might not seem fair, but you will go whether you are a king or a peasant, a tube worm or a God (unless you're Rincewind). And, for the most part, he does his job with something akin to empathy. He speaks to every sentient soul he collects. In his way, he very much cares for them. He acknowledges when a death is cruel or unfortunate, or untimely, even if he can't do anything about it. Then there are the ones he actually steps in and changes, which have their own problems.

Of course people want real Death to be like this, who wouldn't want an entity that sees your life as valuable at the end if it, not because of accomplishment, but just because you lived?

At the same time, I can see why people wishing for a character who, while fascinated by and affectionate towards humanity, doesn't really *get* it and bends the rules with sometimes not great consequences to be in charge of the transport of their soul, and all of that before even considering that sometimes he just kinda stops doing his job...would cause some serious wall staring.

That being said, I think he is one of my favorite characters.

I love Death as The Hogfather, he approaches it with the same mindset as he does The Duty - fair for all. And if a gift or a circumstances goes against something Death can do, he does it anyway because the Hogfather could do it. His commitment to keeping humans human is so cool.

I have to say:

It was so much fun to read him talking to the kids in the department store. I have never read such realistic kid conversations than the ones that have been written between Death and kids, in both Reaper Man and in this one, the wonderful rambling of the kids and the indulgent confusion of the grown up, it was great!

Susan has developed into another one of my favorites.

I'll admit, in Soul Music, I sort.of found Susan to be a little annoying, at least at first, in this one, she has cultivated a normal as a governess. And had grownnout of the teenageery "I will be right, even if I'm wrong" mindset (please understand that the reason this sort of thing sets mybteeth on edge is because I went though this phase as a teen and looknback at it with continual facepalming).

I love how she has adjusted her mindset to all of the mythical and solidly weird things about the world. Almost a flexible theory of logic, that will bend and twist to solve whatever illogical thing she is facing. It's like she says to herself "Just because what is going on is insane, it is no reason to behave irrationally." So, of course when facing down monsters under the bed she has a plan and a fireplace poker. When dealing with gods and assassin's, she finds logic that will work in that situation. It's seems the only thing she can't fully use this on is her Grandfather, which makes their interactions so much fun to read.

I have to say, though, the assassin's Mr. Teatime, the unsettling in-between space where he and his crew operated, and the overall commentary on class structure and the imbalance of wealth - that depends on it staying that way- to actually *keep* the system in balance is why several sections of this book have the feel of the creepiest parts of A Christmas Carol.

Teatime makes me think of the ghost of Christmas future if the future were if everyone disregarded the well being of their fellow man. The auditors and Death's efforts to stop them, along with Albert trying stem Death's generosity reminded me strongly of the part where Scrooge asked Present why the gods want to make things harder on the people that already had it hard and he was told not to attribute things man comes up with to the gods. In this case, it is more, don't attribute what man has come up with to the gods, and don't attribute the manipulations of faceless entities to man.

The gang Teatime lead and the ends they meet in the unchanging realm read almost like a horror movie and they are haunted by fears of their childhoods made Manifest because of what Teatime is trying to do. That last one might be a stretch, but that's what it reminded me of. On the flipside of that, I love that Susan and takes on the task stopping it, because I think that Susan would think that Scrooge was being far too dramatic needing four ghosts to convince him to stop being an jerk when a proper threat would have done the trick.

The best part of this book is just how balanced the satire is with the silliness, when things get heavy there is an interlude in Unseen University dealing with the Varuca Gnome, and helping the God of Hangovers.

I loved this book!