#some stuff irl has been making me really scared even though it’s kind of sorted out

[genderdog]

ive been feeling a constant sense of dread since last week

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 13: Piece Me Back Together

Summary: Your pack deals with the aftermath of your heat.

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader, Ghost x Soap

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut, handjobs, anal fingering, anal sex, unprotected sex (please practice safe sex irl), spanking (it’s like once), choking (kind of), light Dom/sub dynamics, Johnny's praise kink, excessive use of the word cock, heat cycles, mating cycles, brief mention of blood, brief medical stuff, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, language, and of course a little fluff

A/N: Well folks, we've made it past the heat portion of the fic. Now things can really start moving. Lots of aftercare, some world building, and of course a little spice at the end for you all to enjoy (as if the last chapter wasn't enough lol). I tried to catch all the possible tags for this one but as always, let me know if I missed one. The smut happens in the very last scene, so if you'd prefer not to read it, then skip that last little bit. You won't really miss much. Also, there's a lot of jumping around in time in this one so I tried to mark when things are happening relative to the present moment in the fic.

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6 Days Ago

“Looks comfortable.” 

Kyle glances up as Johnny closes the door to his room, blanket and pillow in hand. “Slept on worse.” He shrugs, glancing down at the cot set up in the hallway before looking back up at Johnny. “Moving out?” 

“Camping in Si’s office for the next week. Keep our distance.” He nods at the closed door. 

“Probably for the best.” Kyle says. “Have fun!” 

“Don’t enjoy yourself too much.” Johnny winks at him before making his way down the hallway and disappearing around the corner. 

Kyle shakes his head, starting to sort through the many bags of supplies they’ve stocked up on in preparation for their omega’s heat. They’re well prepared, all of them, for the next week, Kyle especially. He’s spent the last few days reading up on what to expect, how to best help and support his alpha and omega, and what to look out for in case things start going wrong. He doesn’t think they will. He has a lot of faith in Price and he knows Price will take good care of their omega. 

Still, he can’t help but feel a bit nervous. He has a big job to do, even though there’s not much to do until after the heat is over with. He just has to ensure Price doesn’t hurt you accidentally, or maul you to death. He doesn’t think that’s likely to happen, but then again, one can never know. 

Kyle lets out a shaky breath, grabbing the bags with the electrolytes and nutrient bars before heading for your door. 

It’s going to be a long week. 

Present Day

It’s quiet. Has been for almost an hour now. Kyle rises from the cot, slipping his phone into his pocket. He slowly approaches the door, leaning in to listen for a moment before putting his hand on the knob. He lets out a breath before pushing the door open slowly, slipping in and closing the door quietly. The smells in the room are worse than they had been last night, a toxic mix of omega, alpha, sex, and sweat. He takes a moment to breathe, adjusting to the scent. 

You and Price are spooned together on the bed, asleep, or at least you are. Price had pulled the blankets up around you, tucking you in. Kyle approaches slowly, not wanting to accidentally step on a wrapper and startle either of you and risk you getting scared or Price getting territorial. He brushes the damp strands of hair from your face, your body temperature significantly lower than it had been even last night. He pulls the forehead thermometer from his pocket, taking your temperature quickly before sending a text to Dr. Keller. 

He carefully lifts the blankets, checking beneath. You’re still locked together as he expected, and he lowers the blankets back down, tucking you both in again. He unplugs Price’s phone from the charging cord that he’d plugged in last night, rotating it to your phone. He knew the chances of either of you being aware enough to use a phone for anything would be low, but just in case, he kept them both charged. 

He tiptoes through the mess of wrappers and bottles, grabbing the bag of trash that he had started a couple days ago. He picks up the mess on the floor, cleaning off the nightstand as well before setting out a new bottle of electrolytes and a couple nutrient bars. There’s still quite a few left, but those could be saved for your next heat. 

Price stirs a bit as Kyle sets the bag of trash off to the side next to the bag of things that would have to go to the wash. He hurries over, gently keeping Price from moving too much. 

“Easy. You’re still knotted.” He says, putting a hand on Price’s shoulder as you let out a quiet sound. His skin is warm and sticky from sweat, and probably other things. 

Price rubs his eyes before blinking up at Kyle. “What day is it?” 

“Morning of the sixth day.” He answers, passing Price the bottle of electrolytes. “I think it’s over. Her temperature’s back to normal. Just waiting on Dr. Keller’s opinion.” 

Price hums, unscrewing the cap from the bottle before taking a long drink. “Feel like shit.” 

Kyle grins. “Been a long week for you, Cap. How do you feel?” 

Price screws the cap back on the bottle before leaning over you to place it on the nightstand. “Like I got hit by a truck and rolled down a hill.” 

“Speaking from experience, sir?” Kyle smirks. 

Price gives him a look before closing his eyes again, relaxing against your back. He lets out a groan as his knot deflates, his cock slipping from your folds. “Christ, that's going to hurt later.”

“Let me get the bath started.” Kyle says, going into your bathroom. 

He starts the water, making sure it’s warm enough before he grabs the epsom salt off the counter and adds some in. He leaves the water running as he moves back to the bedroom, helping Price off the bed first. The alpha groans as he stands, leaning heavily against Kyle’s side. Kyle wraps his arm around his shoulders, supporting Price as they make their way to the bathroom. 

“I’ve been beaten, tortured, shot. I’ve jumped out of moving cars, been in helicopter crashes.” Price says, grunting as Kyle helps him down into the bath. “This might be the worst I’ve ever felt.” 

“Not quite as spry as you used to be, old man?” Kyle teases, making sure he’s comfortable. 

“Plenty spry, but god I forgot how energetic omegas can be.” Price leans his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. 

“Just relax.” Kyle says, turning off the water. “I’ll bring her in.” 

He heads back into your room, approaching the bed. You’re shivering, eyes squeezed closed and eyebrows pinched. Kyle kneels down next to the bed, placing a gentle hand on your arm. You start a bit at the touch, a quiet whimper leaving your lips. 

“Shh, easy love.” Kyle tries to soothe you as you shake. “You’re alright.” 

You let out a whine, seeking out your alpha in your disoriented state. The bathwater splashes as Price shifts in response to your call, his own instincts still on high alert. 

“Let’s get you into the bath.” Kyle says before gently slipping his arms under you and lifting you up. 

You let out a whine in protest, your body sore and aching from the last six days. Kyle quickly carries you to the bath, easing you into the water between Price’s legs. You’re trembling, quiet whines leaving your lips as he eases you back against Price’s chest. The alpha wraps his arms around you, a quiet rumble sounding from his chest as he tries to ease your disorientation and discomfort. 

Kyle leaves you and Price there to soak as he heads back to the room to strip the sheets and start the laundry. Most of your pillows and stuffed animals are stacked in the corner of the room by your desk, spared from the mess that the bed has turned into. The sheets are still wet with a concoction of fluids, and he knows they’ll need to soak for a while. He stuffs them into the bag with your clothes, along with your blankets, before he heads down the hall to the laundry room. 

He checks on you and Price when he returns, both of you content still in the bath. He can’t help but smile as he watches the two of you, pride swelling in his chest at the sight of his alpha taking care of their omega. 

Their omega. 

It seems almost strange to think now. They’d gone so long without an omega, and thought they wouldn’t be getting one. Now, six weeks later, they’ve all fallen head over heels for a little omega none of them even knew they needed. He can’t imagine life without an omega now, how well you fit into their pack, how well you fit with all of them, how you’ve only served to make them stronger and more efficient. 

He hates to admit that perhaps Laswell was right. 

Maybe they did need you after all. 

Kyle bags up the plastic mattress protector, glad to see it did its job. He replaces the sheets and blankets for now, knowing you’ll want to nest once you’re more aware. He checks his phone before heading back into the bathroom, kneeling down next to the tub. Your shaking has subsided, reduced to a shudder here and there as you’ve slowly relaxed in the hot water. 

Kyle grabs a cloth and your body wash, starting to gently clean your skin, or at least get the sweat and other fluids off. Bruises litter your skin and the claiming mark on your shoulder is scabbed and angry. Kyle carefully washes it, not wanting to apply too much pressure as he cleans off the dried blood still stuck to your skin. He knows it’s going to hurt for a while. 

“What did Dr. Keller say?” Price asks as he helps ease you up so Kyle can wash your back. 

“Said if her temperature is normal then the worst is over.” Kyle answers. “She wants to do a check up soon, make sure everything’s alright. Said she’d come here to do it, if that’s alright.” 

Price grunts quietly as Kyle starts to wash his chest. “That’s fine. Easier than going all the way to the medical building. Simon and Johnny?” 

“Fine.” Kyle answers. “Been keeping busy running drills and stuff. Johnny’s been keeping Simon occupied.” 

Price hums, letting his eyes close as Kyle washes his neck and shoulders. “Good.” 

Kyle makes sure to get all of the soap rinsed off before pulling the plug on the water, carefully lifting you up to stand. He lets you lean against him, grabbing one of the towels to dry you off as best he can. Price gets himself standing, drying himself off as Kyle helps you back to bed. Price joins you, wrapping his arms around you tight as Kyle tucks the blankets up around you both. 

“Can I get you anything?” Kyle asks as he sets a new bottle of electrolytes on the nightstand. “Real food maybe?” 

“I’d kill for some bangers and mash, maybe a pint.” Price says, a smile tugging at his lips. 

“I’ll see what I can scrounge up.” Kyle says, glancing at you one last time before he leaves the room. 

Your body aches. There’s a deep soreness in your muscles, and a painful throb between your legs. Your skin feels raw and tight, and there's a steady pulse behind your eyes. A quiet sound leaves your lips before you can stop it, the sound cracking and broken from your raw throat. There's a desert in your mouth again, your tongue dry and heavy in your mouth.

Your thoughts are dragged away from the agony in your body as a quiet rumbling starts somewhere in front of you, your brain going quiet except for the need to seek it out. You press yourself closer to it, meeting warm skin as you try to get closer and closer. You want to bury yourself in it, seep into its depths until you can feel the vibrations of it in your bones. Arms wrap around you, pulling you in closer until you're squished against a bare chest. 

You press your face against the soft skin, trying to get closer to the rumbling purr vibrating from deep within. You let out another sound, body going lax as the purr lulls you into a relaxed state. The tension leaves your body, easing the ache in your muscles a bit. Not much, but enough to pull a relieved sigh from your lips. 

“Easy, love.” A quiet voice says, another hand touching your back. 

You tense slightly at the intrusion on your safe space, but quickly relax as the hand stills on your skin. The calming scent of beta overtakes you, easing your mind to a quiet hum as your alpha and beta work to calm you. You feel a bit disoriented as reality slowly begins to return, seeping back into your brain. 

You went into heat. 

You remember waking up with the blistering inferno burning hot within you, the insatiable need pulsing between your legs. You remember Kyle being there, the soft scent of him as he helped you prepare, pulling off your clothes and making you drink some of the electrolytes. You remember John entering the room, the way his scent made your brain feel like mush. You remember him sinking his teeth into your shoulder, his knot forcing you open before everything went dark. 

Everything else is a dark blur, wiped from your memory after your instincts took over. 

You shift against the body you’re pressed close to, a deep ache rippling through you. It hurts, everything hurts. Your hips are sore, your shoulder is throbbing, every muscle feels like you just did a triathlon with no training, and there’s a sharp throbbing between your thighs. 

You’re crying before you even realize it, the tears uncontrollable as they slide down your cheeks, the quiet sniffles and sobs aggravating your already aching body. The arms around you tighten, the purring getting louder, but you can’t stop the onslaught of tears. 

You flinch as something tickles the skin of your forehead, chapped lips pressing a soft kiss to your hairline. You let out a whine as you continue to cry, your mind a swirl of confusion and disorientation as you try to come to terms with everything that’s happened. You don’t know how long it’s been, what day it is. You don’t even know what happened to you in the last week. 

You continue to cry, oblivious to the conversation happening over you, the gentle purring in your ears lulling you into a dazed state as you float in and out of consciousness. The pain of being moved momentarily brings you back before you settle again, laying back against a chest. A baggy shirt is pulled over your head, smelling of your alpha. The fabric feels different than it had days ago when you’d woken up in the throes of your heat. It’s soft, not offending, and it offers you warmth and comfort. 

You don’t want to move, you don’t want to do anything. Exhaustion pulls at the edges of your mind as you lay there, the tears still streaming down your cheeks.

He hasn’t stopped purring since you woke up. The low rumble in his chest hasn’t stopped, and neither has the ache blooming there since you started crying. Even in your dazed, half asleep state, the tears still roll down your cheeks, quiet shaky breaths catching every so often. He’s not sure what to do, how to help. He’s never been with an omega that’s cried before. Not like this. 

His purring kicks up in volume as you startle awake when the door opens, letting out a broken whimper as your space suddenly gets invaded. He tries to soothe you, his arms tightening around you to try and ground you in his presence. 

“Hi, honey.” Dr. Keller says, kneeling down next to the bed, her voice soft and the scent of beta thick in the air. “Still a bit out of it, huh?” 

“She hasn’t stopped crying since she woke up.” He says, rubbing gentle circles on your arm with his thumb. 

“That’s not unusual.” Dr. Keller says, digging through her bag to pull out a thermometer. “There’s a lot going on right now for her. Besides the exhaustion and the confusion and the pain, there’s a lot of rapid hormonal changes happening. Some omegas can just wake up and hop out of it immediately and be just fine.” 

John frees one of your arms so Dr. Keller can take your pulse and blood pressure. 

“Others might struggle a bit more.” She continues. “Purebred omegas especially have a hard time coming out of it. They’re more sensitive to those instincts and the sudden cut off of them is rather jarring.” She puts her equipment back in her bag. “Her vitals look good, which makes me confident to hold off on any further examinations until she’s more alert and aware.” 

“Are there things we should look out for?” Kyle asks. 

“She’s going to be drowsy and fatigued for a while, but if you can’t wake her at all, call me. If her breathing gets shallow or her pulse weakens or she starts developing a fever again, call me. Also check for blood the next time she uses the bathroom. Her vitals aren’t showing any indication of internal injuries, though, so I think she’ll be just fine.” She pulls a pill bottle from her bag. “I’ve prescribed some muscle relaxers for her. There’s a week’s worth in there. It’ll help with the pain and discomfort, but they will make her sleepy. The best thing she can do right now is rest and recover. Once she’s more aware, you can try some soft foods and lots of liquids. If she’s really struggling, I can set up an IV and get some fluids into her, perk her up a bit.” 

“Thank you.” John says, shifting you slightly so Dr. Keller can look at the bite mark on your shoulder.

“How are you feeling?” She asks him, pulling out a disinfectant wipe.

“Sore.” John huffs out a laugh. “Nothing I can’t handle, though.” 

Dr. Keller hums as she cleans the wound on your shoulder. “I know I’m not here to give you medical advice, but as your omega’s doctor I feel the need to remind you not to ignore your own symptoms. She needs you right now, more than ever. So don’t try to macho man your way through anything. You need to rest just as much as she does.” 

“Yes, doctor.” He grumbles, adjusting your shirt once she’s done. 

Dr. Keller gives him a smile. “You did a good job.” She turns to Kyle. “Both of you. Don’t hesitate to call me. It’s what I’m here for.” 

A smile tugs at John’s lips as Kyle practically beams from Dr. Keller’s praise. He did do a good job. You’re both still breathing after all. 

3 Days Ago

“I cannae take anymore.” Johnny pants, his breaths near wheezes as he rests his hands on his knees. “Ye said you'd go easy on me.”

“I never promised anything, Johnny.” Simon says, standing behind him. 

“Hell's bells, L.T.” Johnny groans, dropping to his hands and knees. “Gonna kill me at this rate.”

“Don't be dramatic. C'mon, again.” 

“Uh uh.” Johnny says, flopping onto his side on the ground. “Am pure done in! ‘S almost lunch anyway.” He rolls onto his back, looking in the direction of the barracks as he wipes the sweat from his brow. “Think they're havin’ fun?”

Simon looks down at him, looming over him like a shadow. “Probably seems like it right now. Be a different story when it’s done.”

“Sometimes I wish I knew what it was like.” Johnny says, turning his gaze up to Simon's face. He can't see much under the mask, and right now is one of those moments when he wishes he could. 

“You really don't. It's messy and gory.” Simon offers him a hand, helping Johnny to his feet. “Gotta be prepared to pick up the pieces afterwards.” Simon turns, heading in the direction of the barracks. 

“That why you've never taken an omega?” Johnny asks, following him.

Simon stops dead in his tracks, turning to look at Johnny. Johnny's back straightens at the look in Simon's eyes. No, not Simon. Ghost. He's looking at Ghost again. 

“Drop it. Or I'll make you do another lap.” Ghost says, his voice taking on the low rasp he gets when he's shifted into the laser focused headspace of the Lieutenant. 

“Yes, sir.” Johnny says, following after Ghost as they head back towards the barracks. 

Ghost slips into the showers once they enter, Johnny heading to the corner to peek down the hallway towards their rooms. It's quiet now. It hadn't been when they left earlier. He could hear it as they passed the hall to go out the door, the distant sound of moans and the bedframe knocking against the wall. He had fought the erection threatening to tent his shorts all the way to the field. He knows heats are no light matter, but the mental image he's drawn up of you blissed out, mouth open as you moan, back arching in pleasure has been plaguing him for nearly two weeks. He's desperate, practically chomping at the bit to get a chance to see it himself first hand, to see the real thing putting his mental image to shame. 

He makes his way down the hallway, keeping a respectful distance between himself and your room. Kyle looks up from his spot on the bed where he'd been scrolling on his phone.

“How're they doin’?” Johnny asks, wiping the sweat from his face. 

“Alright. Sleeping for the moment.” Kyle answers. Johnny can only imagine the torture of having to sit and listen to nonstop fucking for the last three days. 

“We're gonna grab lunch soon. Want us tae bring ye somethin’?” 

Kyle nods. “Sure. That'd be great.” 

“Ye got it.” Johnny nods, passing a glance at your door before looking back to Kyle. “Good luck.”

“Thanks, mate.” Kyle says, watching his fellow beta walk back down the hall. 

Johnny glances up from his phone as Simon huffs out what's the tenth sigh in the last three minutes. The alpha is seated at his desk, clicking away at something on his computer and occasionally mashing away at the keyboard rather harshly. Johnny's surprised he hasn't cracked a key yet, or just thrown the whole thing out the window. The beta can see how tightly his alpha is wrung by the tenseness in his shoulders, the hard set of his brow, the set line of his lips, the occasional tick of his jaw. 

“What's got ye all riled up?” Johnny finally breaks the silence, setting his phone aside. 

“Nothing.” Simon grumbles, ignoring Johnny's gaze.

Johnny’s brow furrows and he pushes himself to stand, moving over to Simon’s side. “Doesnae seem like nothin’ to me.” He puts his hands on Simon’s broad shoulders, squeezing them, feeling the tension in his muscles. “Awful tense, Si.” 

“Leave it, Johnny.” Simon grumbles, trying to swat the beta away, but he’s insistent. 

“Wouldnae be a little omega getting you so tense, would it?” Johnny teases. 

Simon turns to him, his eyes darkening. His jaw clenches, hands closing into fists where they sit on the armrests of his chair. “Don’t push it, Johnny.” His voice has that deep rumble to it, the threat of his alpha coming through. 

Johnny stares at him, feeling the danger prickling at the back of his neck, but at the same time, he wants to push that boundary. He wants to see just how far he can push his alpha until he finally gives in. 

“I don’t know why ye keep torturing yourself like this, Si. Ye know ye like her. She’d be more’n willing-” 

“That’s the problem.” Simon snaps, pushing himself up from his seat, forcing Johnny to take a step back. “She’s not doing this because she wants to. She’s only doing this because she’s been told to do it.” 

“She’s an omega. Her whole life was going tae be people tellin’ her what to do and forcin’ her tae do things, even if she didn’t want to. Ye think things would have been different if she’d been put with a different pack?” Johnny doesn’t back down from Simon’s glare, having been on the receiving end of it enough times now he’s almost immune to it. “Things could have been a lot worse for her. She might not have wanted to be here, but she is. Ye can’t change that, Si. No matter how badly you might want to.” 

Johnny can tell by the slow fall to Simon’s tense shoulders that he’s struck home. The situation wasn’t ideal, but it’s what they were dealt. You’re here with them, and he’s going to make sure you feel as comfortable as possible. 

Simon lets out another sigh, turning away from Johnny to crawl into their makeshift bed. He lays down with a huff, closing his eyes. Johnny smirks, slowly crawling onto the two cots pushed together, laying down right next to Simon. He rests his hand on Simon’s thigh, feeling the powerful muscle flex under his hand. He slowly begins to drag it higher, Simon’s eyes opening again. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Simon rasps, but he doesn’t move, even as Johnny reaches the junction of his hip and thigh. 

“Yer all worked up, big guy.” Johnny says, leaning his head on his hand, slowly moving his hand over Simon’s very prominent bulge. “Thought I’d help ye.” 

“What makes you think I want your help?” Simon says, still laying still. 

Johnny lifts his brows, slowly rubbing Simon through his pants. “This looks rather painful, and I seem to be the only option to help, since everyone else is rather occupied-” 

Johnny’s words are cut off as he finds himself suddenly on his back, Simon’s hand around his throat. The alpha is leaning over him, a deep rumble vibrating through his chest. “You talk too much, Johnny.” Simon rumbles, leaning close to the beta’s face. 

“I’ve been told tha’ before.” Johnny says, leaning up to try and kiss his alpha, but Simon backs away before he can make contact. “By you if I remember correctly.” 

Simon’s fingers flex around his throat, a moan spilling from his lips as Simon grinds his hips against Johnny’s. His cock is hard in his pants, has been for a while. He’s not sure if it’s from the lewd thoughts that have been plaguing his mind since you first kissed him, weeks ago, or if it’s just a response to the knowledge that you’re currently fucking their pack alpha like your life depends on it. 

Johnny lets out a whimper, bucking up against Simon desperately. Simon tuts at him, pressing against his throat to keep him still on the bed as he sits himself up on top of the beta. 

“Naughty little thing.” Simon says, staring down into his blue eyes. “Know you’ve been thinking about sinking your cock into the new little omega for weeks.” Johnny lets out a whine, his cock twitching in his pants. “I don’t think you’ll even make it that long, will you pup?” Simon chuckles. “Gonna cum in your pants as soon as you see her tits, huh?” Simon presses down, putting more pressure against his cock as he rubs it through his pants. “Gonna cum in your pants just thinking about it.” 

Johnny holds his breath, trying to focus anywhere except for Simon’s hand. He squeezes his eyes closed as Simon undoes the button on his cargo pants, releasing his throat to tug the fabric down around his knees. 

“Bloody hell.” Simon says, wrapping a hand around Johnny’s hard cock. “Prettiest cock I’ve ever seen.” 

“I thought Kyle’s was the prettiest.” Johnny says, opening his eyes to glance down at his alpha. 

“Kyle’s just pretty.” Simon says, slowly stroking Johnny’s cock. “You have the prettiest cock.” 

“Christ...” Johnny breathes as Simon continues to jerk his cock, his hips bucking as he can feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge. 

A pathetic whimper leaves Johnny’s lips as Simon pulls his hand away, sitting up on his knees over his beta. He undoes his belt, tossing it to the floor before undoing his pants, pulling them and his briefs down to release his own throbbing cock. Johnny licks his lips as Simon fists his own cock, slowly stroking it. 

“Turn around. Let me see that pretty ass.” Simon says. 

“Yes, sir.” Johnny smirks, wiggling himself until he’s flat on his stomach, pushing his ass into the air as best he can with his legs trapped between Simon’s. 

Simon purrs quietly at Johnny’s response, running his hands over his beta’s pert cheeks. “Prettiest ass too.” He murmurs, gently spreading his cheeks. 

“I’m startin’ to think I might be the prettiest.” Johnny says, gasping quietly as a glob of warm spit hits his hole. 

“Give me a night with Kyle and I’ll get back to you on that.” Simon says, pressing a finger into Johnny’s ass. 

Johnny groans, pressing his face into the pillow. “Fucking Christ.” 

“You can take it.” Simon soothes him, reaching down to fish the lube out of the bag he’d tossed it in last night. He squirts some on his finger before pressing further in, spreading Johnny’s ass open. “Good boy.” 

Johnny nearly melts into the cot, letting out a pathetic sound as Simon adds a second finger. He’s still sore from the last three days, but his drive to please his alpha pushes away any sensitivity he’s feeling. That, and the lust burning hot in him. Betas don’t have heat cycles, but he might as well be in the middle of one with how horny he’s been these last few days. He knows part of it is Simon being worked up by the knowledge that there’s an omega in heat nearby, and his own body reacting to his alpha. He’s never been around an omega in heat, and he doesn’t think Simon has either. 

He’s not sure Simon has ever been with an omega at all before. 

More cold lube hits his hole, a second finger pressing in. He gasps at the stretch, squeezing around Simon’s thick fingers. Simon’s other hand trails up his back, pushing his shirt up as he goes. Johnny pushes himself up slightly, tugging the fabric over his head before he relaxes back down against the blankets. 

Simon presses a third finger in, working Johnny open with what still won’t be enough, but Johnny won’t complain. He’s taken his alpha before. He’ll do it gladly again. 

“Fuck, Johnny.” Simon grunts as Johnny squeezes around his fingers again. 

“Cannae help it.” Johnny whines. “Feels too good.” 

“Didn’t say you could cum yet.” Simon says, removing his fingers. “Naughty pup.” 

Johnny lets out a pathetic sounding whimper, pressing his ass up to try and chase Simon’s fingers. He yelps as Simon’s hand meets his skin, his hips dropping back to the bed at the force of Simon’s spank. 

“Stay still.” Simon growls, the cap of the lube popping open again. 

Johnny does as he’s told, keeping himself still as Simon prepares himself. He groans as the tip of Simon’s cock presses against his hole, his hands fisting the sheets at the stretch. Simon’s hand rubs his back, trying to get him to relax. Johnny breathes, forcing himself to go lax, letting Simon slip in further. 

“Good boy.” Simon groans, bracing himself on the bed as he presses further and further into Johnny’s tight hole. “That’s my good boy. You can take it.” 

“Fuck!” Johnny groans, practically preening from the praise. 

“That’s it.” Simon groans, pressing in until his hips are flush with Johnny’s ass. “Bloody fucking hell.” 

Johnny’s mind goes blank as he’s filled, all thoughts leaving at the feeling of his alpha inside of him. He’s panting already, stretched open around his alpha’s cock. Simon begins to move, rocking his hips slowly, drawing his cock out before pushing it back in. Johnny whines, pushing back against Simon, needing more. 

“Please...” Johnny begs. “Please alpha!”

“Fuck.” Simon grunts, bracing himself further before snapping his hips against Johnny. “Like that? That what you want, pup?”

Johnny almost yelps at the sensation, hands fisting the blankets as his body rocks forward on the cot. “Fuck, yes!” 

Simon sets a brutal pace, hips snapping against Johnny’s ass. Pleasure numbs Johnny’s mind as the sensation of Simon inside of him. His cock is trapped between his body and the cot, dragging against the blankets with every thrust. He’s going to cum soon, he knows that. He won’t be able to hold it, not with how sensitive he already is. 

“Gonna cum, can’t hold it!” He whines, pushing back against Simon’s thrusts for more friction. “Fuck, alpha!” 

Johnny cums quickly with a groan, the blankets getting damp under him as he shakes in his release. Simon doesn’t stop, undeterred by Johnny’s clenching around him in his orgasm. He’s going to ring a few more out of Johnny before he’s done. 

They’re both in for a long night. 

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[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - May 6

m/m anon (new), poem anon (new), outlet anon, catholic guilt anon, therapist anon

m/m anon (new)

hi cas :)

i’ve seen your advice posts and you honestly seem really nice and idrk who else to talk to about this thing that happened the other day, because it’s sort of been tearing me up a little bit.

so on thursday, I was in my physics lesson next to my friend T, and we were sort of chatting like usual. T likes to consume a lot of m/m romance, fanfic, anime etc and asks me for recs but she’s straight and a christian. I didn’t really have a problem with this, bc I find the whole ‘straight women reading gay stuff is morally wrong!’ kinda weird and tbh I don’t get it so idk I was happy to chat to her about this stuff.

now i’m pretty openly queer & transmasc, and i’ve never had any issues about it from her. i’ve never actually heard her use my preferred pronouns and she’s only used my chosen name a few times, even tho I did explicitly come out to her, but I was sorta giving her the benefit of the doubt yk since I takes some getting used to.

so anyway at some point in the conversation i made like a silly joke smth like ‘oh imagine being straight couldn’t be me!’ and we kinda giggled and she said kinda jokingly ‘you can’t say that it’s against my religion’ and then I sort of. like froze up a bit? and I asked her to expand on that, which made her look kinda uncomfy. she was like, ‘well yoy can’t be gay and christian, being gay is a sin! god said to go forth and be fruitful, and gay people can’t have kids.’ (gay people can have kids wtf?) so I asked her well what about straight people who can’t/choose not to have kids. what about people who adopt, right! and then she sort of looked really agitated and i felt bad for pushing her and she said ‘well idrk it’s just what my mum tells me’ so I just dropped it. because I didn’t want to upset her.

but then I was sort of upset and kinda only half responding to her for the rest of the lesson. we haven’t really spoken since, and I feel really guilty, but also a really upset woth her. when I got home, I literally started typing out a very long message about christianity and homophobia and started like citing sources etc but I never sent it bc I was too scared. it’s still in my notes app and i’m actually considering just sending it to her.

and also, teh fact that she thinks gay people are sinning but reads m/m stuff really icks me out. and also the fact that she didn’t really have much justification other than ‘my mum told me’ bothers me because if you’re having homophobic opinions, at least be able to justify them yourself.

the thing is I know I can’t really change peoples beliefs if they don’t want to, and T is honestly so nice, and an amazing person. my general attitude towards religious queer phones has always been, ‘well i think it sucks that you think this, but u can’t change that, so i’m just not going to talk to you more than u have to’ but I really don’t want to stop being friends with her.

like really, this is the first time she’s ever brought this up, but i’m so uncomfortable around her now and it’s just. not great, like how am I meant to just ignore that she thinks my existent is sinning you know? idek what she thinks on trans people, but now i’m too scared to ask her. because I don’t think she understands that you can’t separate my from my gender and sexuality. it’s just a part of me that I didn’t choose.

and I just really want to at least try to change her mind, because I don’t know what i’m going to do if I can’t. anyway, I just really really needed to vent, and didn’t want to upset anyone else ik irl who also is friends with her, so I would really appreciate some aduce from you as well :)

Hi!

I can totally see why you're frustrated. Honestly, in my experience with people similar to this, arguing with them/trying to prove them wrong isn't helpful though. It just kind of makes them more determined to believe what they believe. But I think you're well within your rights to ask questions- why is she still friends with you? does she see you as who you are, or your agab? why does she read m/m fanfic? Don't ask in a rude way, just like...a curious way.

And if she's mean about who you are, even if she's nice in other instances...idk, it depends on how you feel, but I'm not sure I could look past that, personally.

Keep me updated!

____

poem anon

omg im literally so gay for my best friend (ill call her L) its sort of embarrassing. like, earlier today when i was texting her (we were sending each other reels on insta (i downloaded insta to talk to her)) she was like "IF YOU WROTE ME A POEM I WOULD BE SO HAPPY" and then i... wrote her a poem. i was lowk scared that it wasnt good, but she loved it. i think she likes me too, but im also kind of in love with one of my other friends(ill call him B), and i think he likes me too. L is poly, and hopefully might be fine with me dating both of them, but im not sure about B. Idk man, im not sure, ive never been in love like this. im way too scared to confess to either of them, but i have been sort of hinting at it, like they are to me (i think), and i really love them both. any ways, i just needed to get that off my chest. ill send you the poem in another ask. thanks for reading, Cas.

Hi!!

Okay so based on the poem you sent, I feel like she has to know how you feel and also probably feels the same way bc like...it was an amazing poem and also very romantic. and she liked it so...it seems like she must like you too? I'm not sure how much that helps when thinking about B, but I feel like it's a good thing overall, right?

___

outlet anon

hi hon!

I'm NOT disappointed <3 this is a HARD thing to deal with and many people struggle with it for years and years. I promise, I've been in a similar position before, and I am NOT judging you. I believe in you, though, and I know you can keep working to find healthy coping strategies.

And as far as your more recent ask-- what about like online chats or something? If I'm pushing too much, let me know, I just want you to have something when I'm not able to check my inboxes, you know?

___

catholic guilt anon

Hey, Cas!

Catholic guilt anon here,

I have been trying to see my faith and religion as my own relationship instead of what others think of my relationship, and I think it’s been going pretty well! Honestly? Really well, I’d say. I feel my Higher Power’s presence more often, I pray earnestly more often, I feel Him more often, and it’s pretty cool. And the thing about the “self exploration” has gotten easier. It’s not as guilt-focused and more “why” focused. Like “maybe this isn’t inherently bad, but what it can lead to is bad. How can I prevent myself from doing bad things, when doing this morally neutral thing?” And I think I’ve gotten better at it,

So, thank you for being a listening ear :)

Have a blessed day <3

Hi! I'm so glad you're feeling good about your faith!!! That makes me really happy <3 I hope you have a great day as well!

___

therapist anon

Hi cas! Therapist anon here ans I just wanted to tell you that I got my shoes! They're the green campuses ans I love them so much theyre so perfect and have that fresh shoe smell!

Only problem is now I have to wear them :/

Yay, I'm glad you got your shoes! And wait, is that a problem because you don't want to ruin them?

[dandyshucks]

realizing i wanted to ask - how did u first fall in love w/ guzma (irl) ? :o (@dmclr)

ougghh (/happy) Clara you always ask such good questions omg 🫶

umm... okay so. i should give a general "abuse CW" label i guess fjfkdl but I'll keep it vague and to a minimum of mention! also putting it below the cut because I RAMBLED SO MUCH, SORRY IN ADVANCE

tumblr kind of went crazy for the guy when the anime finally introduced him in 2019 (it took SO long to get to him, over 100 episodes in the su/mo arc 😭) and at first i didnt think much of him rly, but then somehow eventually (a few months later) i found out through osmosis that he's got trauma going on and my ears kind of perked up a bit LOL

(underwater just to set it apart from the rest of the post so it doesnt blend in and get confusing fndkdl) screenshot of the post i rbed where i first mentioned liking him fdsjkl

around the same time, i was having some realizations about my own experiences with childhood and family etc, and there was some other stuff going on in my life (also. the plague started so uh. that too.) that was just kind of culminating in like. A Lot of stress and fear and stuff. so seeing this character who has experienced somewhat similar things was ... comforting in a way? shared experience or something, idk. plus I've always been a sucker for misfit archetype characters, especially if they make a little family out of other misfits :')

another big part of the intrigue (because my crushes always start with a sort of 👀 phase fdsjkl, I have to think somebody is interesting in some way and want to find out More about them, and then feelings develop from there) for me was just the fact that he was Angry. like... the way I've personally learned to deal w abuse has been to always be meek and fawn. so seeing someone who went in the opposite direction, to become angry and strong and defiant instead, was SO fascinating to me and I was very curious to learn more about him.

so I looked into him more, loved what i found, related to him a bit, accidentally by some random occurrence stumbled upon some bf audios of him somehow??, wished he were real so we could hang out, thought about how I'd act around him and started to feel a little flustered about it ... it's all downhill from there once u reach that point smh 😔😔 (/silly)

for a long time i didn't really fully step into s.elfship territory w him - i dabbled a little but he wasnt The Focus™ in my brain yet. also we (as a system) have had a host change since then, so there was a previous juno that was not Me (even though we kept the same main name between us two parts), and they didn't like the guy as much as Current Me does djfkdl - theres also some ... relatively significant personality differences between the two versions of Juno, so I think Juno2.0 (me) meshes with him a lot better now than Juno1.0 did in 2020/2021

and then last year, i found and joined the s.elfship community and um. I absolutely did not mean for him to become The Main Guy and never would've guessed he would be, but... well,, we dont always plan things i suppose, feelings just happen 😭

anyways. it maybe seems kind of messed up but his ~tragic backstory~ is what drew me in initially bc it helped me feel less alone and scared when i was Going Through some pretty major shit lol. and then after that, i just kind of took the character base that pkmn had in place and ran with it to build on it and sort of make my own version of him that I could be friends with and eventually fell in love with ^^;;

TL;DR it was a mix of timing, similar history of abuse, intrigue bc of our opposite reactions to the abuse, and um... the way he is like,, strong and builds a safe place for other young ppl who feel unsafe or not accepted in general society fdsjkl

i get embarrassed talking abt it bc ppl seem to really hate it when abuse victims are weak in any way and need help, but ... i do really like that he is strong in some ways and would be able to give me a sort of safe place to let my guard down and receive help and care (as shown by the way he provides a safe place for the grunts, all the misfits and outcasts of Alola) ^^;;;; honestly kind of a Big part of it for me (and for pretty much all my s.elfship dynamics) is that he is able to protect me and care for me, because I have not like. experienced that ever. at least not properly. when your parents are the ones being abusive, you not only do not experience protection and care but you're also being actively hurt in some way by the people who are supposed to keep you safe. so to be freely given care and safety is kind of crazyyyy to me LOL, that is something i like a lot about him :')

OKAY RAMBLE OVER. i really tried to keep this as short as i could but,, brevity is not a strength of mine (esp when it comes to him) LOL. THANK YOU for the question !!! its fun to look back at how it all happened tbh :]

[doctorguilty]

horror ask game: 2, 3, 22

2. most recent horror movie you watched and hated

This was some months ago lol but Halloween Ends. That movie was SO BAD, in the middle of it I took out my phone and posted like "what the fuck am I watching" on tumblr (you may have been there for that sjfdkgs). I don't even know what they were thinking. It made Halloween Kills look like a masterpiece (which wasn't GREAT, but I did enjoy it, as a fun romp). Why was Michael Myers barely in the movie. the hell was all that.

already did 3

22. a horror character that actually creeps you out/scares you

I had this sitting in my drafts and forgot about it b/c I couldn't think of an answer at the time but I do have one now, it's just that it's kind of depressing and involves IRL death (as in, the fictional character's relationship to a person who died in real life makes me very unsettled when seeing/hearing the character on screen)

so cw for reference to irl death continue at your own risk

so the answer is The Unknown from dbd, and not b/c of the body horror or lore or anything like that

The Unknown was released on March 12th, 2024. It's voiced by talented trans voice actress Zoey Alexandria, who I wasn't familiar with prior to the character's release, but I did look at one of her social medias at some point and saw her talking about how much she loved voicing Unknown. Zoey passed away at age 29 from a rare autoimmune disorder on April 30th, 2024.. less than 2 months after the character's release.

If you're not familiar, Unknown is essentially some kind of ambiguous entity that kills victims and wears their skin in a visually grotesque way. It has voice lines in game that are one of the creepier aspects of it imo. Sometimes the voice is male, sometimes female, they're always varying degrees of garbled, and sometimes they're random nonsense like "have you seen my dog?" and other times they're distressed cries for help like "I need someone.. anyone.. help, please"

They're definitely chilling on their own and, most definitely an awesome case of "she has the range!" re: the transgender actress.

But I have a thing, in general, where I can sometimes feel really disturbed when watching movies/shows/etc that feature a person who I know is now deceased. It's probably a mental illness thing, I don't know, but hearing the voice of/seeing the face of a person doing normal things while they're no longer alive in reality just.. freaks me out. I don't cope well with death in general. I don't like to think too much about or dwell on death irl, even people I don't know or even care about, like celebrities. I start to have some kind of existential dread.

SO the case here with the Unknown... is that its voice actress tragically passed away young so shortly after its debut, which is already an objectively upsetting thing for me to think about, and I can try not to, but ............. whenever I play against the Unknown, and I hear those garbled voices pleading for help, all the hair on my body stands up and my skin crawls

though I don't mean to present this as an objectively bad and scary thing, like, I don't want other people to be upset when they interact with the character. this is my OWN disordered brain stuff, and I try to just remind myself when I'm feeling distraught, that the actress truly loved working on the project and, if anything, it's nice that she got to complete it before her passing, so that she sort of lives on in it (rather than say, needing to be replaced early or something...). and the words themselves are fictional.

but it's probably the most "creeped out" I've ever considered myself about a horror character because ultimately, something stabbing real deep into my psyche like that just by sheer coincidence is undeniably scary, I guess? that's just the way I feel!

[dootznbootz]

I know this may seem strange, but I think everyone deserves a kiss from the homies to say good night. I think your head canons capture that very well!

I wish I had a friendship like Menelaus and Odysseus though… Well, I do. But they live so far away :,(

Thank you!🥹 And I feel ya 😔 I so badly wanna send my homies who live far away sweets and nice meals and stuff ;~; (honestly in some ways, I think it's very sweet that people can be very close regardless of distance though, you know? 🥺 Ofc, I wanna hang out irl but in a way, it goes to show that friendship doesn't necessarily need to be irl to be REAL you know?)

I'm not too upset about the "Menelaus and Odysseus should fuck nasty!" Anon (if you're out there anon, as I said, write it if you want, but this is a SFW blog for the most part. don't send stuff like that HERE xD ) I mean, I did find it kind of funny in the "um, okay???" confused sort of way but it IS kind of sad that the fandom is... vERY sexual sometimes. 😅

And I think WAYYY too much stuff puts emphasis on romance/sex in many ways and portrays it as "the most important" and/or the "final step" in any friendship. Or even just "Oh? They care about each other? They HAVE to be fucking then!" Friendship being the "final step" of a relationship doesn't make it lesser!

Like, I know I'm kind of weird in how I'm kind of a "If it's not canon, then it's just friends." most of the time but idk, xD I REALLY care about my friends so with the "Friends don't look at each other like that", I'm confused as "I look at friends like that? and there's nothing romantic about it??? What type of friends do you have if you don't look at each other like that???"

And with Menelaus and Odysseus, they're so fun to write about as they're different in personality but they understand each other. I love them both as they're so similar but so different and lksdj (idk I talk about it more here.) Both being hurt by one another with Odysseus' "I pretended to be mad to not help" and Menelaus having the war in the first place, they're hurt but also are thinking "...I would have done the same if I was in your position." As their wives and children are the most important to them. And they both know that while they care about each other,

"You're my dearest friend but my family will always come before you. I don't feel bad about trying to dodge the draft." "Ditto. I don't feel bad about dragging you to help me. Let's go cuddle and cry."

And they get comfort by knowing the other understands that. They both need their time to ramble and cry about their loves and kids. As they ARE lonely and scared. Friendship isn't less meaningful than a romantic/sexual relationship. I also have them as friends since before they got married so their friendship goes way back as well.

Like I sometimes get worried about scenes I wanna write because "will readers make this weird?" when that's not my intention at ALL.

Idk :P Have mini half-assed snippet anon! (wrote this very quick a while back)

Context: Palamedes said something and Odysseus is drunk and angry and Menelaus is trying to calm things down.

Odysseus scoffed and swayed a bit. Lightweight. "And what about Paris?" He spat. Menelaus snapped. "That is different. He is an enemy-" "AND PALAMEDES ISN'T MINE?!" Odysseus' straining voice hurled itself at him as he was now yelling in Menelaus' face. A baby's wail echoed throughout the camp. The loud little lungs of Greater Ajax's young son, Eurysaces, cried out as he was awoken by loud yelling… The two fathers instinctively whipped towards the sound, stunned still. Odysseus' face, twisted up in anger as tears gushed from his eyes, went slack. The shadow of a woman in the torchlight moved throughout the tent a ways away. Picking up her child, soothing him… It's been so long since Menelaus' has seen his children. Their children. Hermione was 9 and Megapenthes was 5 when Helen was kidnapped. Menelaus used to be able to pick them both up in his arms, lifting them alternatively as they laughed and asked to be taken higher…She was 13 and he was 9 now… Could he still do that? A bush of red-brown pressed against Menelaus' chest, curtaining Odysseus' face as he looked down. "I miss my baby…" he whimpered, leaning on him. "I want my baby…" Menelaus squeezed his friend tightly to him, blinking back tears of his own. Odysseus shook with more sobs. "He's not even a baby anymore but he… He's mine." He weakly slammed a bloody fist into Menelaus' chest and raised his head. "She's not a bitch! ...How could he even call her that…?" Menelaus swallowed a sob, rubbing Odysseus' back.

The Palamedes situation is more complex than this (it's definitely not black and white) but it's a big emotional moment. :')

[system-of-a-feather]

Honestly, the thing that is kind of funny about this whole situation is that my fiance (who has been on disability leave due to previously mostly repressed C-PTSD stuff coming up and hitting him like a truck) is lately realizing he is largely really set off with "leaving the nest" and is really dealing with that "I fuck everything up" line of trauma centered thought - and so a lot of the time, he really needs a break from responsibility and making decisions and being organized and on top of things

That on its own is NOT funny, but a large aspect of our latest blip in mental health is that we are really really sensitive to being in situations where we are expected to follow, lead, and be guided and being in that subordinate position can just be really anxiety inducing - which has been the case at work for me which is why Lin's mostly covered for me the past two days at work.

And that ALSO on its own is not that funny

But the timing of it results in him needing / wanting a lot of care and to throw all the decision making out the window and let someone else take care of it so he can relax and decompress and me needing a place of control and decision making and independent responsibility to remind myself and reaffirm that I am safe.

And so we are both like "we don't make this a norm, but because we are both not doing well and we both need a break, lets make this a win win even more than usual"

Essentially, he is freaking out going "I am forced to be more independent than I am ready for" and I am going "I am forced to be more dependent than I can cope with" and us just like "..... trade?"

And it's really relieving honestly.

A bit of a vent below the cut that is semi-related

But man I have been Going Through it. Still not sure if it is "me" - but I'm pretty sure its me + a fragment of some sort doing what we colloquially call "hijacking" and its not uncommon for EP fragments to do that.

But honestly dependency scares the ever living fuck out of me and I've realized that even though being in a subordinate role does not make me "dependent" it doesn't register as much different and it just convinces my emotional brain and mind that I am absolutely not safe.

And it's really frustrating honestly, because - with most of our other triggers - when we are triggered, typically the best thing would be to rely on our support network to help us take it easy. But when it comes to this, doing that would often exacerbate it.

I'm honestly lucky that my fiance is honestly the only one of the few irl people who can give me really any care without me immediately building a wall around me so thats been working in my favor and has been immensely helpful in letting us down regulate some.

Also I just realized that I am super tired and keep loosing my train of thought so Ill stop rambling

[fluffallamaful]

I see sleepy-anon’s Backfired Protection From Tickles and I raise you Sacrifice Tickles. (DSMP version because I don’t tend to like writing irl stuff.) (Nothing against it! Just don’t like doing it myself :) ) (Also I am so starved for c!Dream fluff I have been living in a desert for so long and then an angst!heatwave hit with the final lore stream someone please help me I need the most concentrated dose of fluff you have) (Do you know how desperate I had to be to brave the ask box, even on anonymous. I’m starving, man!)

Let’s say… there’s some sort of Manhunt going on where Dream is convinced that he has to protect both himself and Punz from the rest of the server, even though the rest of the server already know everything and just want to take him home because he’s in horrible shape :(. But also, Dream still has plans to reset the server soon, because he doesn’t know that there’s another way, and so the rest of the server wants him safe and also wants to disable whatever he’s done. Anyway, they manage to catch him but not only is he not talking, but he also doesn’t trust any of them and will not tell them anything. ESPECIALLY anything that might endanger Punz.

I think you can guess where I’m going with this.

The server needs answers, but they also really don’t want to hurt him because. Look at him. There are zombies in better shape than him. Dream thinks that he needs to protect both his plans and his ally. As it turns out, tickles may not be good way to get him talking, but they are good at 1) assuring him that they really don’t want to hurt him and 2) providing much-needed comfort. The final straw is when he finally realizes that they know Punz is his ally, and Punz is still safe.

He starts crying and scares the shit out of everyone — but it’s not because they went too far as they initially feared. Instead it’s the culmination of nearly three years of building stress and loneliness all finally finding a way out as he finally feels like he’s somewhere safe, and suddenly all of his plans also start tumbling out. Everything, all at once, it’s actually kind of hard to listen to both because it’s so jumbled and because it’s heartbreaking to hear him so upset, and it takes a while to get it all out, but eventually he finally manages to do it. And he’s finally given a bowl of hot soup, and kisses, and plenty of cuddles. He falls asleep in a giant cuddle pile. (Please.)

(I like the idea of Quackity and Sam being two of the interrogators because that is Dream’s worst nightmare, and he’s STILL feeling okay at the end. There’s nothing for him to be afraid of — not even Quackity and Sam. Bonus points if others suggest slightly more extreme ways of getting him to talk (just slightly! hell, maybe they’re even jokes: “we should make him listen to your annoying music” “let’s feed him your terrible cooking”) and Quackity and Sam stubbornly veto everything else because they really doesn’t want a repeat of what they did before.)

(Ah — I don’t know if I even need to say this, but: anyone’s free to use any prompts of mine, yeah? Use them as many times as you want, you and anyone else who wants to do it. :) )

@sleepy--anon you have inspired

also,,, Anon The Destroyer has given permission for people to write about their AUs!!! please make sure to credit them if you do!!

(discussion under cut)

🦙🦙🦙…

ok ok ok so kinda like the manhunt AU,, except that part of the reason that dream is on the run from everyone is also because he desperately wants to protect punz from harm from the server as well 🥲

he’s captured and brought back to the community house, where sam and quackity attempt to coax answers out if him

the idea of him clamping up the same way that he did during his non-verbal phrase in prison is heartbreaking :(( like just absolutely reverting to old habits and techniques that allowed him to keep information in whilst he was being tortured in prison :(( and if it’s quackity and sam doing the interrogating, then it would probably feel all too familiar to all of them.

which is maybe why they leap at dream’s suspicious reaction to sam’s thing squeeze of reassurance. he had placed his hand just above dreams knee during his explanation for them needing information, and a light squeeze to the muscle had quite literally sent a shockwave through dream’s fatigued body. perhaps the sight of dream’s lips quirking at the sides and his shifting posture was almost addicting, but not only that, the subtle increase of thigh squeezes in sam’s explanation appeared to get more and more head nods of understanding from dream.

it’s not long before the subtle squeezes and words of reassurance progress into straight up comfort tickles, from both sam and quackity. they are sure to make it clear to dream that they don’t want to hurt him, and that they only want to help. and my god it’s nice to see him smiling? come on let them see! they can all work this out together, they just need to know what dream knows. they all want it to work. punz said the dream would know how to stop what’s coming! he’ll be so happy to see dream smile as well.

and that’s what does it. the mentioning of punz and his safety breaks dream right then and there. soft giggles turn into sobs. soft tickles turn into hugs and hushed, worried murmurings. after their 5th time reassuring dream about punz safety and alliance-status, the broken man finally breaks further, collapsing into the hug and admitting all his plans through his blubbering tears. he’s showered in reassurance and praise, and then is promptly ushered downstairs to the awaiting rest of the server.

the server dwellers greet him gently and warmly. they offer him a place on the many beds that they’ve set up in the main room of the community house (because slumber parties are cute). dream spots punz and collapses into his arms. he spots george and sapnap and bursts into tears again. they bring him into a hug and play with his hair. he’s offered soup. he watches tommy and sapnap battle it out in a pillow fight. he giggles when george’s hair brushing starts to include the back of his neck. he starts to feel like he belongs :((

🦙🦙🦙…

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

One Thought, Only Video Game. (That still hasn’t announced its early release date plox I just wanna play please :cry:)

I guess while I’m sulking I can continue the reread or something. 

[No. 15 - Vs.]

So we’re back at the yacht with the crew, the boat still being surrounded by villains who have yet to approach. Mineta is freaking out about Izuku’s plan from last chapter to fight the villains in the water, saying that Izuku’s contradicting himself after implying that the villains are strong enough to kill All Might. He then suggests their only hope is to hide until heroes show up to rescue them.

Honestly, I’ve seen a lot of Mineta hate in the fandom, and did participate in it more earlier on. But the more time I actually take a look at his character, the more I realize that he’s actually got some great potential as the straight man / reality ensues to the rest of the cast who play to their shounen setting more faithfully. If you just cut out most of the perversion and worked in more scenes of him commenting on the shounen setting in a semi-meta function (like not outright referencing comics or anything, just the ‘this is crazy!’ from a IRL view on shounen shenanigans), he could have been a lot of fun, maybe even played off of Aoyama or sommat. 

Alas, that is not what we got. But maybe, in the course of this reread, I can pick apart the stuff about Mineta that could make the base for a good character, and maybe I can eventually use those pieces to make a new Mineta, a likeable Mineta. That’d be a crowning point in my career to be sure.

But yeah, like, Mineta kind of has a point here from a non-shounen POV - 'If these guys are strong enough to fight the top hero and possibly kill them, then maybe we shouldn't try fighting them ourselves when we're newbies and just try and keep away until actual trained heroes show up.' Like, their specific situation makes it impossible even without envoking shounen stuff, but, strictly speaking, he’s not wrong here. 

Anyways, Izuku sort of completely glosses over Mineta’s panic, instead turning his attention to the villains and remarking that all of said villains are suited to aquatic combat. Mineta complains about Izuku ignoring him, but Tsuyu catches on to Izuku’s point - the ringleaders must have recruited their team knowing about the USJ’s different environments. Izuku determines that their intel had told them that much, but with how careful all their planning had been, one odd point sticks out - they warped Tsuyu into the flood zone.

There’s a moment of silence between the three before Tsuyu tells Izuku to take his time, and Mineta just demands Izuku’s point. Izuku exhales and apologizes, then clarifies his point - the villains must not know about the class’ quirks! Tsuyu has a moment of surprise as the manga briefly flashes back to Tsuyu’s comment in the classroom about being at home in a flood. Tsuyu concedes his point - if they’d known about her frog powers, they’d have dumped her into the fire zone.

Izuku determines that because the villains didn’t know about their quirks, the strategy to handling them became ‘scatter and overwhelm them with numbers.’ Mineta’s shown sweating in fear as Izuku continues - the villains have the three beat in numbers and experience, so there’s only one way to win - exploit the lack of knowledge about their quirks. He then points out how the villains not trying to get on board supports his theory, while then thinking to himself how that also means that the villains aren’t underestimating them.

Now we get some fun quirk talk! And Mineta being Mineta. Sigh.

Tsuyu’s quirk is pretty versatile! She can jump high, stick to walls, stretch her tongue up to twenty meters (and wield it like a prehensile limb, as we’ve seen already). She can also ‘spit up her stomach to clean it’, which was something debated in the NWA server for a bit before we determined that it meant that she can just throw up on command, not that she actually expels her stomach like a starfish or sommat. Finally, she can secrete a poisonous fluid, though ‘poison’ is a stretch when it really just stings a little.

Mineta gets hung up on the ‘secrete’ part (why), while Tsuyu notes the last two aren’t that useful, so just forget about them. Izuku notes that she’s strong and that he underestimated her. Izuku then explains a bit about his own quirk - mostly just ‘super strength but after I use it it messes me up, basically a double edged sword.’ Which, simple, but to the point.

Mineta silently pulls off one of his hair orb thingies and sticks it to the wall of the yacht, then explains that the balls are really sticky, and that if he’s feeling good, it’ll last all day. New ones grow in where the old ones were on his head, but if he pulls too many, he starts bleeding. They bounce off of his own body without sticking to him.

(I will give him credit here, the wording for his explanation for his quirk is not skeevy as it’s made out to be in the dub. For all we know from this, it could just mean ‘in good health’ or ‘in a generally positive headspace / mood,’ not… other stuff.)

Anyways, after four panels of silence, Mineta freaks out and repeats his statement that they have to wait to be rescued, and that his quirk is terrible for fighting multiple opponents. Izuku tries to calm him down, saying that it’s a great quirk, they just have to think of how to make use of it. 

The yacht gets attacked by one of the villains, water slamming up the middle and basically ripping a massive hole through the middle. The villain states he’s getting bored and ‘let’s finish this thing’, his arms reforming / part of the water. Tsuyu notes the villain is strong, and managed to split the boat in two, all while the three of them try to hold on to each other and keep from sliding down the now angled deck they’re on.

Mineta, in tears, does a but of a battle cry and starts tossing his quirk balls into the water below, all three students and all the villains watching on silently as said balls sploosh in. Mineta freaks out some more as he turns to Izuku and points out how nothing seemed to be accomplished, while Izuku is stressed that Mineta’s panic gave away his quirk to the enemy. Izuku then realizes that no, the villains are on guard now, trying to splash the balls away without touching them. A plan sparks in Izuku’s mind. Down below, that shark villain notes that the kids only have a minute before the boat sinks and they’re all chum.

Again, Mineta proving to be a surprisingly apt straight man to the other two. Why aren’t those two scared? They were just middle school kids not all that long ago, why are they in a life or death situation so soon? (And then he ruins it with being a pervert. Sigh.)

At the same time, Tsuyu kind of has a point as well. They all came to UA to be heroes, and the fact that they signed up for it and got in by fighting robots kind of weights those who get in more towards the side of people who are likely to see trouble and jump in rather than those who run away. So Mineta being entirely cowardly and wanting to run and hide sort of… belies his purpose being in the hero course at all.

And then of course the second half of this page, just as good as the first:

Another moment of Pro Hero Deku, Symbol of Hope shining through early Izuku’s nerves and doubts. You can see the moment Mineta realizes Izuku is just as scared as he is, but is acting in spite of it. Which will in short order inspire Mineta for his part of the plan to make their escape.

Another small thing that I really find interesting from this is the choice of quote Izuku pulls from All Might’s documentary - ‘The moment when the enemy thinks they’ve won represents your best chance.’ This is something that actually comes up several times going forward in the manga - most notably, All Might’s fight with AFO at Kamino, wherein he fakes having nothing left in order to make AFO’s guard drop, then uses all his strength to take AFO out in one shot.

I think, though, that this interview came before All Might’s first fight with AFO, since I doubt he had much time or interest in them after his injury. And in turn, I think this might be a small hint to All Might’s first fight with AFO, even if not intentional - I wouldn’t be surprised if AFO thought All Might was defeated after that blow to his stomach, but All Might managed to surprise him and take him out while he was overconfident in his victory.

Am I reading too much into random little things again? Probably! But it’s fun.

We get a little bit of a view from the villain’s side of things, with one villain commenting on the ‘little one’ whining and how the kids ar a bunch of babies. The villain who took out the boat, who seems to be the leader of their group, I guess? Says Shigaraki said not to get careless - it’s not their age that matters, but their quirks… and clearly the villain’s quirks have the advantage in the water.

And then we get Izuku enacting the plan. What’s the plan, you ask?

Do what Kacchan would do, of course.

One of the villains scoffs and determines Izuku’s just a dumb kid, and that as soon as he lands, they’ll gut him. Izuku, meanwhile, is thinking about how no matter how big a smash he pulls, the villains have them surrounded, so he can’t hit them all. He also determines that even if they make it out of the flood zone, there’s more villains to worry about, so he can’t afford to sacrifice a whole arm. As he starts falling towards the water, he has his fingers prepped with power and ready to flick, frantically muttering to himself to keep the egg from exploding. 

Back on the deck of the ship, Tsuyu is poised to leap, Mineta tucked under her arm. Mineta is internally stressed over how he saw Izuku shaking, he knows Izuku’s as scared as he is, so how??? Meanwhile, Izuku calls out his attack - a Delaware Smash - and, well.

RIP to that glove. And the Flood Zone. And his finger. 

The villains are all blasted away with the water, while Izuku swears over his busted finger before calling out to Tsuyu and Mineta. Tsuyu leaps from the deck, grabbing Izuku around the waist with her tongue as she soars past. We get a rather graphic up close shot of Izuku’s finger, bloodied and bent backwards from where it should be. Very graphic, what the fuck.

Mineta’s reaction to the sight is shock, followed by him shouting again and throwing a ton of his quirk balls into the water, all while thinking about how Izuku is always doing the coolest things. Mineta just keeps tossing them in among the villains as he notes that that’s all he can do in comparison. 

The water starts to get sucked back into the middle by gravity and the vacuum from the blast, dragging the villains and the quirk balls, with the latter sticking to the former, and in turn sticking the villains to each other. The villains freak out that the balls are sticking to them and can’t be removed, and then in being stuck together in one massive blob. 

As the villains are all sucked into the middle, Izuku explains that by delivering a strong shock to the water’s surface, it spread,s and once it rushes back into the center…

Tsuyu’s one-liner count: like ten at this point, IDK I haven’t been counting. She’s just taking every chance she gets and running with it.

And I love Tsuyu’s little ‘good job’ to the other two for their parts in the plan. What a great little moment to end the chapter on. See y’all next time on ‘Shigaraki continues to traumatize school kids.’

[justalittlebluetiefling]

Absolutely adore your takes on Jester, and wanted to get your opinion— Jester has been questioning the Traveler a lot recently to different responses, but her convo this week with Fjord stuck out. Objectively it seemed like Fjord said all the right things (I don’t want you getting hurt etc) but Jester seemed to be putting up walls anyway—the whole dynamic between her questioning and reassurance is fascinating— does she want them looking out for her? reassurance? im curious as to your perception

You come to me, a known Fjorester shipper? No no no no I’m kidding I’m kidding I love this question, even not as a shipper. I’ve wanted to talk about this, but I know I’m pretty biased when it comes to their interactions. I think most of this can be interpreted under either brotp or otp guidelines, though!

Thanks so much, anon.

Do you guys even come here for long rambling answers? I’m so sorry. Below the cut, because I decided to pull exactly two screenshots from the conversation and it’s like 1700 words. Also, I swear I get around to answering your actual question lol. Maybe? I don’t know if I actually answered it. I just love Jester a lot.

So, first, I’m going to say something I know I wrote yesterday, but it bears repeating going into this. Jester is not stupid. She’s really silly, so it’s easy to get into the mindset that she’s “dumb”, but she’s not. And this girl has a 20 Wisdom. She’s insightful af. That’s part of what makes her so dangerous as a Trickery Cleric. She knows exactly what prank she can play on you to promote the most chaos.

Anyway. My point with that? Jester knew why she was asking. She knew what his answer would be because it’s something she’s been thinking about since the reveal that the Traveler isn’t actually a god. Well, maybe she didn’t know what his answer would be. Maybe the right thing to say is that she was afraid of what his answer would be. And having Fjord say things like this out loud when she has been trying to find a way to maintain her faith in the Traveler is terrifying.

Exhibit A:

This is like... literally 5 seconds into her starting to ask Fjord about this. I mostly want you to look at her hand and the way she was gripping her chair. (Yeah, I know that’s Laura, but she’s a really good actress, so she’s Jester right now.) She did that throughout the entire conversation. I just wanted to point out that thing about her hands. It really stuck out to me in the moment and it still sticks out to me now. She is nervous. 

So... okay. I think you’re right. Fjord did say the right things in this conversation, because he stayed honest. He didn’t shy away from the point. But the really important thing is that Jester initiated it. He’s been worried about this for a long time, but he never pulled her aside to say, “hey, I’m worried” because I think he may have assumed he was projecting. Fjord was being used by Uk’otoa. Maybe he was reading too much into this. Because, when all is said and done, Fjord trusts Jester. He trusts her judgment. If Jester had come straight out during this conversation and said, “No, you’re wrong, he’s not using me,” Fjord would have nodded, said “Okay, cool, let’s do this,” and they would have moved on. The only way I feel like I know that’s the case is because when they were in Vokodo’s lair, he fucking gave up the Star Razor. 

Yeah, yeah, he assumes giving it up is temporary (let’s hope it really is), but before he did it, he looks to Jester. He asks her if she’s sure that the Traveler is coming. “Jester, you’re confident that the Traveler will want to come and meet Vokodo? ... Well, then, I don’t mind handing this over.” He’s so confident in Jester’s judgment that he hands over his fucking sword.

And so, what I’m about to say next could be interpreted as shipper eyes, I guess, but I really don’t mean it that way. It’s something I love about their dynamic in general and it is part of why I ship them. But I adore their friendship regardless, because Fjord is the one person in the group that I’ve noticed Jester testing with her vulnerability. And by testing, I mean she’s testing him to see if she can trust him with it. That’s a weird thing to say. I hope it makes sense.

My opinion on this conversation has shifted after watching it like 30 times. When I first watched it, I also interpreted it as Jester slowly getting more closed off through the conversation. But I changed my mind while I was writing this thanks to this screenshot from the end of the conversation:

Laura is an expert RPer. She puts her entire body into it. So, she’s still gripping the chair, but her body language hasn’t closed off from him at all. She’s turned to him. Her shoulders are a little low, because she’s sad, but they’re also open. They’re actually mirroring each other here and maybe that’s because they’re irl marrieds, but I don’t know. And it’s impossible to capture in a screenshot, but she gave him this little sad smile right before this when she thanked him. I really think she appreciated him telling her the truth about his opinion. I’m not sure what she’s going to do with it though.

Jester is scared and she hasn’t stopped being scared for a while. There’s a lot of things for her to be scared about. I think she was looking for a second opinion and I think there is more than one reason she had this conversation with Fjord instead of anyone else. One is the whole one-sided lowkey rivalry she’s feeling with Caduceus right now. She doesn’t want to go to him while she’s questioning her faith, because in her mind, he’s already a better healer than her, so if he has a better relationship with his god, too, than what does she even have? Another is that I think that she really wants to be able to trust someone who isn’t the Traveler with her feelings. And I think she does notice Fjord’s actions and the way he’s been trying to back her up lately. Like Travis said, Jester’s been there for Fjord every step of the way and now he’s trying to return the favor. I think she could use a blatant reminder that it’s what he’s doing, but I really think she sees how he’s been worried about her, worried about her mom, worried about making sure she had a chance to talk to the Gentleman. Even if she doesn’t know why he’s doing these things, she knows he’s doing them.

I also don’t know if she was actually looking for reassurance here. The sad thing is, she expressed her doubts and then as soon as Fjord started to express his own, she started to defend the Traveler again. God, this conversation was so interesting. 

Right, but didn’t you also say the Traveler’s not a god either? Well, no, I know.... Right. He’s not. Right. Is that a problem?

Okay, so I’m not sure Jester even heard Fjord ask if that was a problem. And this is when Jester starts to ‘defend’ the Traveler by saying that he’s still really powerful and stuff. And that sort of answered Fjord’s questions about whether or not it’s a problem.

Overall: The Traveler not being a god is a problem for Jester.

When she’s closing herself off as this conversation goes on, I don’t think it’s closing herself off to Fjord. Ugh I said this yesterday I’m sorry it’s repetitive. It’s that she’s grappling with the fact that this is a problem for her and she doesn’t want it to be. She’s already afraid that the Traveler is using her and that maybe he’s not telling her the whole truth. Her saying all this to Fjord is the first time she’s come close to voicing any of those fears to someone else. I think that a part of her was hoping that Fjord would say she was being silly and that of course the Traveler isn’t just a druid. Which is something I think some of the other party members might say just to try to make her feel better. But she doesn’t necessarily want to feel better right now. She wants to know where to go from here.

The thing is, she values Fjord’s opinion. So much. It matters to her that he agrees with her biggest fears. And it hurts. It’s not Fjord that’s hurting her though. It’s that she’s trying to figure out if she can continue to latch onto these old dreams from childhood. It’s the way she says why would he do that when Fjord says he’s worried the Traveler is telling her something opposite of what he’s having her do. Like... she values Fjord and the Traveler in two totally different ways. The Traveler was her only friend growing up, right? But Fjord is her first real-world friend that she made on her own. They met and agreed to help each other out and over time, she’s grown to care about him a great deal. And vice versa. Her relationship with Fjord, friendship or not, is a huge deal. 

So I guess... this conversation was a huge deal to me as a Jester stan, because she doesn’t talk to anyone about her problems. The fact that she finally opened up to someone and voiced her fears out loud is huge and it makes sense to me that she would talk to Fjord about it. Because... he definitely said the right things in this conversation, but he does not have a track record of always saying the right things to the Nein lol. I think she was looking for honesty. I think she was hoping that she’s reading into this too much, but knows that she isn’t. And she knows that Uk’otoa was using Fjord, so he is a good person to talk to, because maybe he can recognize the warning signs. 

Sorry this was so long. I could honestly go on about this conversation way longer I think. I hope that this made any kind of sense in the end. And thank you for asking! This is helping me a lot, because I was in that weird spiral about Jester and the Traveler yesterday and typing stuff out like this is helping me figure out where I sit with it.

[xxcureangelxx]

5, 9, 10, 13, 20, 21, 24, 25, 28, 30-35, 38-42, 44-46, 50, 52, 54, 60-62, 66, 71-74, 86-91, 96, 100! 😊

okay I literally have no clue how old this is and if I'm even taking the questions from the right post but here goes I guess? 🙈

<u>5. What is your favorite Color?</u>

PURPLE

<u>9. How tall are you?</u>

about 1,70 meters or 5'7"

<u>10. What shoe size are you?</u>

size 40-41, I think that's about 8 in US sizes?

<u>13. What talents do you have?</u>

uhhh good question... not sure if it counts but I guess I'm quite good at a lot if things but can't do anything extraordinarily well?

<u>20. Are you religious?</u>

Absolutely not. Due to family history and a lot of other things I'm actually against it a lot but people can do whatever they feel like is right for them as long as they don't harm others with it.

<u>21. Have you ever been to the hospital?</u>

Yes, quite a lot actually. practically grew up in hospitals as a baby because of kidney issues, broke both my legs with 4 years old, had to revisit for tests a lot during my childhood because of the kidney issue. it calmed down afterwards until I was back in hospital last year because of my terrible mental health and I'm currently in a rehabilitation clinic for it as well.

<u>24. Baths or showers?</u>

Shower's because we don't have a bathtub

<u>25. What color socks are you wearing?</u>

currently none, I love going barefoot, but usually I wear white, gray or black. I know... I'm a bad gay.. no rainbow socks (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

<u>28. What type of music do you like?</u>

you know.... I hate this question with a passion even though I love music so I'll just throw in my yt-playlist here and everyone who's interested can look through it to get a picture xD not sorted in any way and not a conclusive list at all, I just add songs as I find them

<u>30. How many pillows do you sleep with?</u>

mostly just one at a time but I've got two different ones. one is the normal fluffy kinda pillow, the other is made of some kinda foam material and rather thin.

<u>31. What position do you usually sleep in?</u>

I'm always lying on the side! have been doing that since I was a baby too.

<u>32. How big is your house?</u>

compared to what? 🙈 I'd say decent size for 5 people to live in, would have space for 1-2 more if rooms were used differently but definitely not enough to comfortably live with 12 or even more people like my family used to. we've got like 3 proper sleeping rooms (one of which is the attic so not very nice in terms of heat and the staircase is smack in the middle of the room), a kitchen, a dining room, a big living room, a tiny bathroom that barely fits a toilet and shower, and the basement is a mix of storage, electrics and stuff, washing room/utility room and it's got another smaller room that's been turned back into a small workshop but used to be the room of my brother and later my grandmother.

<u>33. What do you typically have for breakfast?</u>

I guess this is where it shows that I'm german but we usually just eat bread (preferably whole grain) with cheese or slices of salami or ..meat sausage? is that a proper translation? 🤨 idk... it's rather simple really. on the weekend maybe buns and boiled eggs. on the occasion that I'm too tired for it or don't have enough time I eat cereals but it's not very common when I'm at work/school

<u>34. Have you ever fired a gun?</u>

No, and I don't want to

<u>35. Have you ever tried archery?</u>

Yes!! I did last year when I was in the hospital and it was super fun! was quite good at it as well, even for my first try 😤

<u>38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?</u>

I think about 3 days? if we count "barely unconscious for a few hours" as sleep that is... otherwise no clue...my memory of the bad sleepless time is quite hazy lol

<u>39. Do you have any scars?</u>

yeah, quite a few tbh. got 2 huge ones from surgeries due to my kidney issues, well they look like 2 but it's actually multiple ones since they simply cut open party of the old ones again, tiny hooman apparently have very little skin. then I got some other ones here and there from accidents, general dumbness, etc, like when I cut through my sunday morning bun and almost cut half of the tip of my finger off because my mother sharpened the knife and didn't tell me or that time as a kid I couldn't wait for my ironing pearl pictures to be done and burned myself on the hot iron, mostly stuff like that.

<u>40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?</u>

I mean.. if they're a secret... how would I know? ;) not sure if it counts that it took me months to realize I had a crush on my best friend and the feelings were reciprocated and I was too blind to see the signs?

<u>41. Are you a good liar?</u>

Nope. People actually think I'm lying more often than I lie... so.... :/

<u>42. Are you a good judge of character?</u>

I'm.. honestly not sure what this one means? like, am I able to judge what kind of character a person has after barely meeting them or smth? if so, I'm terrible at it

<u>44. Do you have a strong accent?</u>

in german? nope. in english? hmm hard to judge since I rarely hear myself speak. I think the stuff I do know how to pronounce is mostly okay but since I learned it through reading I'm simply unsure of a lot of pronunciations. 'also'.... I can not for the life of me pronouns that word no matter how many times I hear it... it's kinda become a quirk after some classmates pointed it out to me and I'm incredibly aware how terrible I say the word but.... just can't get rid of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

<u>45. What is your favorite accent?</u>

I.. actually really love the way my best friend talks? 👉👈 they're french btw. just... typical me for struggling to understand them though, already terrible at it in german too...

<u>46. What is your personality type?</u>

honestly, I don't think I can answer that. I'm big on self loathing and everything's pretty shitty so, no thanks

<u>50. Left or right handed?</u>

Right handed. but does it even count id I'm bad at doing things with that hand too? lol

<u>52. Favorite food?</u>

hmmmm tough question... not the biggest fan of food in general a lot of the time... probably Züricher Geschnetzeltes

<u>54. Are you a clean or a messy person?</u>

Definitely messy. my allergies did not like this post trying to clean and tidy up more often though. my depression does not like this post either

<u>60. Do you talk to yourself?</u>

sometimes. quite a bit when watching movies or if I mess stuff up

<u>61. Do you sing to yourself?</u>

barely. got a lot of bad experiences with that so i keep my singing to a minimum. my shower is a great listener though

<u>62. Are you a good singer?</u>

I was in a choir for a few years when I went to 'middle school' and I had like one solo part once but other than that I can't really say because I barely ever sing in front of people

<u>66. Do you like long or shor hair?</u>

this question is currently my absolute nemesis.. I've got suuuper duper long hair and have had it ever since elementary school and I used to be super happy with it and sometimes I still am happy with it but other days, depending on where I'm at genderwise, I absolutely hate it and I just want to take the closest scissors and cut it all off... currently haven't had the guts to look for new hair styles though... but in other people? or women more specifically? I love long hair 🥺

<u>71. What makes you nervous?</u>

Or the shorter question: what doesn't make me nervous... I'd say pretty much everything has got the potential to make me nervous. I'm an overthinker, anxiety is a big thing for me and ptsd makes me scared of almost everything. so.. yeah... sucks to be me sometimes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

<u>72. Are you scared of the dark?</u>

Yes, very

<u>73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?</u>

I try not to but sadly I sometimes do, even if it's not my place to. I really don't like that part and hope I'll be able to learn not to sometime

<u>74. Are you ticklish?</u>

Yes and I hate it 😭

<u>86. What are you allergic to?</u>

again, easier question: what am I not allergic to... it's... a lot... like, really a lot. with the test on the skin of my arm I reacted to every single substance and the more thorough blood test lead to much of the same result. the absolute worst are birch trees (pitty, love those), then the usual pollen of pretty much every tree or flower, all animals with fur or feathers, dust and... yeah list goes on and on, you get the picture... :/

<u>87. Do you keep a journal?</u>

no.. have tried to multiple times in the past but never made it more than a week... too depressing to write and read... the therapist at the rehab clinic is currently forcing me to try a positivity diary for the millionths time, can't even get that done each day even though I'm doing it on my phone and get notifications to do it each evening...

<u>88. What do your parents do?</u>

making my life hell lol.. okay on a serious note, my father was a car electrician, he's retired by now, my mother is a housewife, she used to work different jobs before her first kid, later on she took care of my grandmother who was suffering from dementia, got some money and retirement points for that too.

<u>89. Do you like your age?</u>

I-... I don't know? it's weird because I both feel a lot younger and a lot older than I am rn....

<u>90. What makes you angry?</u>

another tough question... I actually have anger issues in that way that I'm barely capable of feeling anger... used to be worse but I already worked a lot on it in therapy so there's at least some there now... in the past I simply started to cry and felt overwhelmed by sadness whenever I was supposed to feel anger... so I can't tell very well what makes me angry because I first have to realize that I'm feeling anger or more like should be feeling it....

<u>91. Do you like your own name?</u>

Not really, no, but I guess I finally figured out some reasons why.. I've recently started going by a bit of a different name too but only my closest friends know so far and I'm not sure if I'll be using it irl at all..

<u>96. How did you get your name?</u>

I'm still trying to get my mother to admit that she named me after this song but she keeps denying it.. she's a fan of this band so it would have fit.. but she keeps saying she just liked the name, no long thought process behind it..

my chosen name is a bit of a different story. an ex friend I got to know through yt gave me that nickname almost 10 years ago after I complained that you can't make a shorter nickname out of my birthname and it's also the name of s character I like, especially his voice, and... idk it just feels more gender neutral and I simply feel comfortable with it. it just fit.

<u>100. Color of your room?</u>

same as question 5: Purple 🥰 or... well half the walls are purple, the other half is white

phew... can't believe I made it through all of these....

in case people haven't noticed yet, I'm currently kinda getting back into tumblr? I think I've already stayed a lot longer than any times I tried getting back before. it mostly started because we've got super bad wifi at the clinc I'm at rn and reddit takes up waaayy too much mobile data and... idk, I guess I just missed the vibe of tumblr

I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stick around but we'll see

[thegoodomensdumpster]

I don’t have a tumblr, but I do read good omens fic on A03 and links to art and fic here. If you don’t mind posting this: is it okay to comment on old fic? What about popular fic? It’s not like I’m bringing anything new to the table they haven’t heard. Some great fic has 0. Why is everyone ignoring it? I’m worried there’s something I’m not getting, like it’s a homophobe or racist or something and we should be ignoring that person and I’ll be linked if I comment. Thank you - sandstone kitty A03

Yep, it is ok to comment on old fic or fics that have very few notes, or fics that have a lot of notes. There’s a good chance the author will be thrilled. I’ve read blog articles about people who got motivated on finishing an old fic after receiving a comment several years after they had stopped writing it. Popular authors can’t always reply to all their comments, but I’m pretty sure most of them read every single one of the comments they get and absolutely cherish them. You never know how your comments will get received, but as far as I know fic authors basically live off their comments and positive feedback, so you shouldn’t hesitate. And if, by any chance, your comment annoys the author instead of making them happy... welp. You aren’t really to blame, you tried to share that their work made you happy in return for the happiness it brought you, and sometimes people are grouch. Now for the second part, worrying that you might not know if there is an underlying reason for there not being any comment or for the work being abandonned... 

Frankly, you can’t live in fear of giving positive feedback to someone awful if their work made you genuinely happy at some point before learning they were awful. Because you’re never gonna give any feedback or consume anything with sheer joy if you live with these kinds of restraints.

With the amount of media we consume everyday, and in case of fics, the amount we can be led to read, statistically, yes, we WILL enjoy things made by horrible people. That’s just it. Now, is that a good enough reason not to comment? Certainly not.

Encouraging fic authors and artists is very important for them, and therefore for creation in general, and it’s not because there are a few bad seeds in the pack that you should think about them specifically before giving praise. You cannot know who is the person at the other end of the compliment. You’re not omniscient, you don’t bear any responsibility to who they are and how they act.My advice would be: don’t idolize anyone, EVER. Remember that we’re all humans, that we all make mistakes and are all problematic to some extent, and also that we can change and improve as persons. And if, after giving praise to someone, you discover that they did something you find unethical... Well. That’s on them. Not on you. You were genuinely happy thanks to their work, you let them know about it, then you learned you don’t actually want to support them, so just... stop supporting them at that point. It’s already complicated to find nice things to enjoy freely, so don’t give yourself yet another barrier. Deal with this sort of things as they happen.At the very least that’s what I do.You could conduct an investigation on every fic author before consumming their content, but let’s be real: nobody has that kind of time or energy and that would very much kill the fun of fic reading. I didn’t understand the part about you being “linked”, I’m guessing based on the context that you’re worried you’ll end up in fandom bad books for liking someone who might be ostracized for a good reason ? Uh, well, I guess my internet experience is too distant and healthy for me to have this kind of considerations. I know my blog is big as of now in the GO fandom, but I’ve never been involved into fandoms that much before, and even here I’m still mostly just... reblogging things that I like, and very occasionnally producing content myself, and sometimes talking to other peeps in the fandom. But I’m not, like. Keeping tracks of the dramas and stuff like that, or helping them spread. I actually very deliberately chose to use this Tumblr and GO as my escapism, so I’m staying as far away from anything remotely negative over here. I don’t really know what to tell you. Because as I said, in the time of the internet where we all get to have parts of ourselves and our interests on public display, people will see when we make mistakes. Once again, not IF we make mistakes, but WHEN we make them. So I just live by those premisses, and when time comes for me to explain myself or to be told I was wrong about something, I won’t be surprised and I will react accordingly. And if I get cancelled for some reason, it won’t affect me irl, so... eh, I’ll just lose this blog and some of my online work, I guess. It’ll suck, but I’ll live. And that’s pretty much it.If you’re afraid of being harassed or things like that, then again, it’s a fear you shouldn’t go inflicting on yourself. It will spoil things you enjoy, and if it ever happens, even if it is the result of a bad thing or a mistake you made, the blame will be on the harassers for harassing you. And though it is a terrible thing that happens from time to time, it makes me feel a bit like it shouldn’t be something - especially for a person who isn’t mediatised or popular in any way - to worry about unless it happens. Cause if you start carrying this kind of fears of terrible things happening and it prevents you from enjoying your time on Earth, you’re just... never gonna have a good time. So, just, be careful about how you phrase the things you write online, show on your social platforms what kind of person you are and what ethics you care about, or make yourself an alias not linked to you in any way to comment on fics if you’re really that scared, be ready to apologize if needed, and show the same kind of empathy / sympathy you’d like to receive. Help make the internet a better, more benevolent place.  

[purplesurveys]

1068

What internet browser do you use?  Chrome. It’s what I’m used to, but I also think it looks the cleanest among the other available browsers.

What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) I never reach for imported water brands like Evian because what is the point?? The local bottled water brands we have like Summit and Absolute work fine and already do a great job of quenching my thirst.

Do you have a job? Yes and I go back tomorrow and I’m cringing thinking about it. I love my job, but I wish it wasn’t so mercilessly hectic for 9 straight hours, 5 days a week. I like to think that I was hired right at the start of all the simultaneous Christmas campaigns of our clients which is why everything seemed busy; so I’m hoping the workload will start to die down a little bit now that all the holidays are over.

Are you full-time or part-time? Full-time.

Are you watching TV right now?  Nope. I was watching on YouTube earlier, but I decided to focus on this.

Or are you listening to music? No. It’s silent here in the living room, just the way I want it to currently be.

Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? I don’t think that’s enough money for a dare that big.

When's your birthday?  April 21st.

Thoughts on kids?  I’m a lot less idealistic about them now. I used to want kids with my only formula being “I’ll do the exact opposite of what my mom did with me.” but I realized it’s so much more complicated than that. Raising a kid/kids is a whole damn job in itself and I see that with how my cousins of the same age, but from different families, have been acting. My cousins from one family are really spoiled and entitled, and I can’t last in a room with them for more than a minute; but my cousins in another family are so ridiculously well-behaved I can’t even start to fathom how respectful and kind they are. That observation has scared me away from kids in the meantime, because I still have to figure out how to not fuck such a responsibility up.

Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents?  The worst thing they ever did was take away my laptop privileges for an indefinite period when I was 11, when they caught me being a dumbass on social media and cursing all over the place. It’s a reasonable punishment per se, but that was also a time when the internet was starting to become a resource and requirement for homework and school projects; so my parents didn’t know how many things I failed to submit because they didn’t allow me on the internet.

Are you the type who is completely against abortion? I am pro-choice and pro-pregnant people should be allowed to make decisions about their own bodies. I don’t like the idea of abortion, but I’ve always believed people should have access to resources to learn more about it, to a healthy culture that embraces it as an option, and to actual facilities that will enable them to receive one if the need be.

Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? No, I don’t think so. Not yet at least.

Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? Peonies don’t mean anything in particular. I just think they look pretty.

What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered?  I can’t imagine dogs ever getting endangered, but hypothetically I’d be crushed. I’d do the same thing I would do with other endangered animals, which is to spread the word about their situation and what can be done to save them from getting even fewer in number.

Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette?  No. I never cared for makeup. I’m turning 23 and still don’t feel the need to invest in it...should I be worried?

Do you own a tripod for your camera? We used to, but I have not seen it in a long time.

Are your nails always painted?  They never are.

What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. < This was true for me too, at least for a time. Another one would be the barbecue that my uncle bought for a family gathering once that was definitely contaminated with something...shit gave me food poisoning at 3 AM and made me think my half-naked self was going to die right then and there in the bathroom.

Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for?  We only ever decorate for Christmas, so I guess it wins by default.

Were you popular in school? By the second half of high school I was hanging out with the popular groups and getting invited to popular kid things, but I never wanted to claim to be popular myself. I still liked letting my friends take the spotlight.

Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion?  Is there something you intend to buy in the near future?  Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have?  What's the screensaver on your computer?  Crossing these out as I believe this survey is a shuffle of questions from many different surveys...? and I have already answered these five in a past survey I recently finished.

What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I don’t really care for guys, I think... I still haven’t made up my mind about them yet, but all I know is I definitely have not felt seriously attracted to any irl man my whole life.

What’s the sexiest thing about a girl?  THIGHS

Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021?  Who was the last person to send you a message on social media?  ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown?  Have you smiled at any point during the last hour?  What was the last thing you consulted Google for? So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? When was the last time you were on a carousel?  What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? Have you ever played Halo?  Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine?  When was the last time you had a pillow fight?  Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: In your own words, define what the word sexy means.  What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live?  Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? Are you any good at volleyball?  Have you ever had a water balloon fight?  Same situation as above. What an interesting order of questions, hehe. Still having fun with this though!

Do you think some babies are ugly?  Newborns are super wrinkly and make the strangest facial expressions from time to time. That won’t stop me from cooing at them, though.

Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I’ve never been there. Is it like a standard birthday party events place for kids?

Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? In time, maybe. 

Do you love stuff-crusted pizza?  Yessssss.

Do you apply lotion after you bathe? I don’t, but I should probably pick it up as a habit seeing how dry my skin can get.

What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. < Same!

Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Gabie.

Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? I’ve never even posted a video on YouTube.

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? Not my spot of choice, so maybe not.

Do you like Robert Frost poems?  I’m only familiar with one and I’m having a little trouble remembering it rn haha.

Do you go to church every Sunday?  We used to go to church, yeah; back when it was okay to. Our local church has allowed face-to-face masses again (but with very limited attendees) but my mom has preferred for us to stay home, so for the last few months we’ve been watching livestreams of Sunday mass every week.

Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year?  I would say Gab and I were on-and-off, but it went on a lot longer than a year. The total time would amount to six years.

If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. Or modeling, if I could only pull it off.

What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? I seriously don’t care. I skip out on bras all the time because I honestly personally don’t need them, and everyone should be allowed to feel and act the same way.

What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I never do this. Even before Covid, I’ve felt iffy about trying clothes that many others have already put on and were probably not washed 100% well. I’d rather get something, try it on at home, decide if it’s a good fit or not, and then return it ASAP if it ends up being the latter.

Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes?  My mom doesn’t knock so I’ve always been scared to try sleeping naked (and she also throws a fit if she catches me locking my door, which is like - then why did you even buy a doorknob with a lock??), but I definitely see the appeal.

Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone?  Yes for the more part lmao, but I don’t know if I’ve ever made out in a dream.

Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before?  Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve?  What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it?  Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way? 

Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? Through choice. Waste management is sadly not much of a priority here, if at all.

Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day?  I have never tried the latter two. Water has always been tasteless and plain to me, and I never understood the point of customizing something that’s meant to be tasteless and uncarbonated. There are days where I’m able to have several glasses and other days where I unconsciously skip out on water until dinner.

Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? Fortunately I’ve never had to call any of these.

When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? I wasssssss maybe having something printed? If it wasn’t that, I was probably returning a book.

Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? None of that here, especially since I live in the city. A sighting of a wild animal outside of a zoo or eco-park would definitely make national news, like that time an ostrich was seen running around a private village many months ago.

Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? Yep, from a dengue scare that turned out to be just a simple low platelet count.

Have you ever experienced a panic attack?  Yes, but they are extremely rare. The last time I had one was maybe two or three years ago. Unfortunately I think all my panic attacks were caused by and involved my mom.

Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID?  For a time, when I was hating journalism in college, I was daydreaming about the idea of shifting to biology and making the drastic swerve to med school. But I knew a love of memorizing and biology topics won’t be enough for me to be successful in the medical field, so I quickly shot the idea down.

Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? People are definitely following and have been obedient with protocol in different places. Some cities are also still strict with maintaining their checkpoints and banning tourists from entering their area just yet. It’s the government that hasn’t really been making the effort to put measures to contain the virus.

Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree?  Artificial. I don’t know if getting real trees for Christmas trees is a thing here.

What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn?  Cheddar cheese.

Do you drink oat milk? Nopes. I’d like to try it just to say that I have (and I might end up loving it too), but I have yet to look up what foods or drinks it works best with.

Do you love thrifting?  Sure, sometimes I get good finds from it.

Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic?  Sometimes I’ll use it in a Powerpoint or a tweet, but I wouldn’t say it’s an aesthetic that defines me as a person.

Do you say “mood?”  Too much.

Do you own fairy lights?  No. I wanted those before, but I’m not so sure if I still do now.

Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? I don’t own glass straws. Most places have changed their cups into a design that you can sip directly from, anyway.

Have you made a TikTok? No, don’t care.

Do you own airpods?  No, but would like a pair.

Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I really don’t care.

Do you make life choices based on astrology?  No, I don’t believe in it. It scares me how much some people rely on it and use it as an actual moral compass or judgment system. It doesn’t harm anyone so I never actively speak out against astrology, but it scares me nonetheless.

How many pairs of converse shoes do you own?  One pair. I used to own another one, but my mom threw it out several years ago.

Number of jeans in your closet:  I would say like 10-12.

What accent do you have?  Philippine English/Americanized Filipino, I guess.

Do you have a big butt? I’d say it’s decently-sized.

Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? Yeah, before.

Have you graduated?  Both high school and college, yup.

Rihanna or Lady GaGa?  I like Rihanna’s music more, but I love Gaga’s outfits, concepts, and stage presence more. Do you use fake eyelashes?  No. I had to use them twice, but I’d never seek them out on my own.

Which was the last book that really captivated you? It’s been a while since I encountered a book like this.

What makeup brands do you use?  I don’t use makeup.

[ambitionsource]

What is everyones favourite animal? Are these the same or different to their spirit animals?

Es and I don’t really have much of a take on spirit animals, per se, particularly because as far as we’re aware there’s kind of a frustration with the popularization of the concept from the indigenous community in that people like... don’t actually get what that means to their culture and use it sort of flippantly. So we’ll plead the fifth on that, BUT we can definitely talk about favorite animals confidently!!

Farkle was obsessed with bearded dragons when he was in elementary school bc he did a report on them and it became a hyperfixation. For weeks all he would talk about was these lizards and his family got so sick of it LMAOOO to the point that Stuart got him a pet lizard (a gecko, not a bearded dragon, but close enough) just to get him to chill. He also is drawn to regal birds, like ravens and eagles and stuff. But mainly the bearded dragon.

Isadora’s favorite has always been (at risk of being a cliché) spiders. She’s never been scared of them and is the go to techie for removing them from spaces in the auditorium where they’re working (because believe me, spiders are EVERYWHERE in musty auditoriums with lots of dark nooks). It’s common for you to just hear someone up in the lofts go “oh SHIT” and then three seconds later be like “ISSSAAAAAAAAAA.” So that’s her calling card, spider caretaker.

Maya is not a horse girl by any means, but if she liked any animal when she was younger it would be a horse. Like a stallion almost, those regal, beautiful snow white horses that kind of symbolized wealth in a way. She basically wanted to grow up and have an irl Barbie horse, because that would mean she made it. (A part of her loves unicorns really, but she wouldn’t say that out loud).

Maybe it’s the Leo in him, but Zay has always vibed with jungle cats. Like tigers, leopards, cheetahs, that’s his speed. He had a few stuffed animals of them when he was a kid (and a couple are still scattered around his room). There’s something about their elegance, their regal nature, their speed and strength and impressiveness that really makes him like them. Not to mention they’ve got some fun prints, and we know Zay Babineaux appreciates a good pattern.

Riley has an inexplicable love for elephants. She has a stuffed animal of one on her bed that she’s had as long as she can remember. Not only are they cute and kind of silly looking in the best way, but she admires their quiet wisdom and peaceful nature. Also I think she has a little bit of kinship in that even though she’s not nearly as large as them, she shares their kind of... clumsiness and isn’t as graceful as some of her fellow performers.

Charlie has always loved rabbits, likely because they featured prominently in a lot of the media he was given as a child in that like... they’re innocent, they’re fluffy and pure, they mind their own business and don’t cause trouble. Also Agatha had a rabbit for a lot of his childhood, which passed away right before she went to college, so Charlie has fond memories of being allowed to hang out with the rabbit when Agatha felt open to letting her little siblings bother her that day. So now whenever he sees one in the wild (like. Central Park) he’ll be like omg, Zay, look at that bunny. And Zay is just like... you are so weird... he’s endeared, but still. Weirdo.

Lucas is a basic bitch but he loves dogs. Just... loves them. The bigger, the better. To say he wants one super badly is a major understatement, but he’s long accepted that’s not happening (and he would never say it out loud). But if you’re his friend and you have a dog, he’s 45% more likely to go over to your house just to hang out with the dog. When the techies hang out at Dylan’s house, Lucas and Dyl’s St. Bernard Mr. Puff are attached at the hip. One of the reasons he likes wandering around the city so much is because you’re almost guaranteed to see multiple dogs on walks. God... someone LET HIM HAVE A DOG.

Asher doesn’t have a favorite animal. I don’t think, honestly, that Asher cares about animals all that much. Like they’re fine, but he doesn’t have opinions. Instead, if someone asks his favorite animal, he just goes “Dylan, what’s my favorite animal,” and Dylan will cheerfully throw out whatever animal speaks him on that day. It’s more of a game of like “what will Dyl say today” than an actual question of Asher’s preferences. Similarly, Dylan isn’t really a person for favorites, so while he’ll throw out an answer for Asher he would probably plead the fifth and never give a definitive answer on his favorite. Or, alternatively, he’ll say birds specifically because of the bird bones nickname he gave Asher. Asher will, in response, most definitely roll his eyes.

-- Maggie & Es

[lgcyunhyeong]

hey there!! this is my first time in lgc and i’m super excited to be here! i’ve been eyeing this place for a while and i’m glad i finally mustered up the nerve to join. this is cho yunhyeong, 21, works part time at his local gs25. he’s been a trainee for little over a year and is hoping to eventually debut in a band! he plays the bass and sings a little bit, and he also wants to get into songwriting and composition eventually. he’s generally kind of a weird kid--super spacey, often distracted, your local space nerd--but he’s a good egg in spite of that. compared to some of the other trainees, he’s pretty aimless and chill, but he does genuinely love music and performing, so...!

you can find some more info about him on his about and background pages but they’re kind of messy so i’ll drop some quick facts about yunhyeong under the cut, along with some connection/plot ideas to hopefully kickstart things! if you’d like to plot, please hit like on this post and i’ll hop into your ims! i also have a discord if you prefer to plot there - just ask me for my username ♡

quick facts:

born and brought up in seoul - very local, most comfortable in his neighbourhood, the most exciting vacation he ever took was to busan (and it was #lit). his parents own the best hot pot restaurant in seoul, and yeah he’s biased but that doesn’t mean it’s not true! 

has an older brother currently in law school and their relationship is best described as ‘i tolerate you’. they’re complete opposites - his brother is super driven and loud and outgoing while yunhyeong is not so they’ve never really clicked beyond the fact that they are siblings and therefore are obligated to love each other

was the quiet kid growing up, had a very chill and subdued personality. didn’t really speak unless spoken too, didn’t play much with others. most of the time he kept to himself and focused on his hyperfixations - first, it was dinosaurs, and then space! and he’s been stuck with space ever since

his mom put him in music lessons when he was younger in hopes that a relatable hobby might help him make friends?? also that it’d work as a conversation starter but it didn’t because yunhyeong remained as weird and solitary as ever! he did fall in love with music as a result though

in high school he decided to branch out and make friends by starting a band - new age sexy aliens or NASA for short. his recruitment process was like: whoever shows up to join is part of the band! it worked out for the best since he and the band members got really close

they started off playing covers but then branched out into their own original music (yunhyeong helped write some of their lyrics). most of their songs used heavy space imagery and they were really pretty but also low key about aliens

yunhyeong loves aliens

nasa had a pretty dedicated fanbase both online and in their school! did well, were thriving, living their best lives and playing hella gigs, and then their lead singer got scouted by an entertainment company. it was the beginning of the end for them; the rest of the members went their own ways as well and the band officially disbanded in 2018 rip

yunhyeong started to busk on/off since he wasn’t attending university and didn’t really know what the heck else he wanted to do with his life outside of the band, and that’s where he got scouted by legacy! joined the company because like... well... why would he not...

wants to debut in a band if he can... and focus on songwriting and music composition as a secondary career path. he isn’t like... super motivated though? has always had issues with setting goals and being ambitious... he’s more like, eh, i’m just gonna go where life takes me! 

personality wise, he’s still a pretty quiet kid unless you get him talking about one of his interests, in which case he will never shut up EVER. he gets distracted easily and will sometimes zone out when you’re talking to him but has a good memory of like, the most random shit you wouldn’t expect him to recall

easygoing as hell, rarely gets riled up over anything. on the flip side, he doesn’t really come across as sincere (even though he almost always is!) in his emotions because people are like... hm... just feels fake. tries to stay as positive as he can and doesn’t dwell on stuff that might upset him. sometimes people think he’s shallow! but he has #deepthoughts. he just doesn’t share them

unmotivated when it comes to most things! has no goals, no ambition, doesn’t care much for academia or being forced to like, conform to things. his mom calls him a free spirit but she’s probably just making excuses for him. it’s more like he’s stuck in some sort of limbo?? scared of growing up but scared of being left behind. it’s complicated

he’s really a sweet guy though. a little odd - he’s not the best at showing affection and sometimes he can be really... strange? offbeat? you never know what the fuck is going on in his head. but he’s a Human Being Just Like You (sadly) and simply trying his best to live every day

connection/plot ideas:

he didn’t really have many friends growing up, but still - childhood friends! maybe you were the exception. maybe you didn’t mind that he was awkward and quiet and a little weird! maybe you tripped and fell on the playground and he gave you a star-patterned purple band aid and you decided you would die for him. who knows! 

friends in general who understand him and look @ him with fond exasperation... must be able to tolerate his antics. liking aliens is a bonus. jk, but he’s a sweet guy who loves his friends! please be kind to him

fans of his former band, nasa (or antis?). he was the bassist and a sub vocal and didn’t stand out too much compared to some of the other guys, but he always did the intros and he’ll happily talk about nasa all day! discuss the symbolism of their songs with him

exes? i genuinely cannot think of a single reason why anyone would want to date him but i feel like he’s had at least (1) relationship before... maybe you took a chance and after you started dating you were like, god, i’m running away

crushes, whether one-sided on his part or your part or reciprocated but you don’t know it yet?? he’s holding out for his alien bae but maybe you don’t know that and just think he’s like, this quiet mysterious pretty boy. maybe he thinks you’re cool for a human! 

fellow trainees who can play instruments... yunhyeong needs someone to #jam with because playing the bass alone is kind of lonely (and since he’d like to eventually get on the band track, making some connections would be cool) 

fellow trainees in general, especially ones in his training group!! he’s not as hungry for debut or as ambitious as some which means he’s a) non-threatening and b) chill to hang with. you could be into that or it could absolutely infuriate you since he doesn’t seem to be taking things seriously! maybe you think he doesn’t deserve to be here

met online on an alien enthusiast forum and you talk almost every single day about various theories and moves and all that kind of stuff but you’ve never met irl! and yunhyeong really wants to meet you in person! 

idk bully him 

you’re buying a bunch of weird shit from the convenience store where yunhyeong works at like 2 am and he has so many questions and won’t let you pay and leave until you answer them

alternatively, you find him sleeping on the job and you want to wake him up but the moment you touch his arm, he makes this high pitched screeching noise and you fall over and take an entire shelf of candy down with you

you invite yunhyeong out for drinks but he took one sip of soju and he’s a mess... you didn’t sign up to take care of a giant drunken baby but guess what! you will be! if he tries to kiss you, dodge him

you always bum free meals from yunhyeong’s parents’ restaurant because his parents think you’re his best friend. tbh you actually don’t really like him but he doesn’t realize it so he never bothers correcting his parents either!

you didn’t realize yunhyeong was allergic to cats and dogs and you brought your cat/dog near him and oh my god he is having the UGLIEST allergic reaction

yunhyeong can’t swim. you push him into a pool as a joke. chaos ensues

you play various video games together and yunhyeong is really good but he’s more interested in stardew valley than in league of legends and you keep pestering him to play with you dammit i need you on my team

you slipped a love letter under his door for one of his roommates but yunhyeong thought it was for him and now he keeps (kindly) rejecting you whenever you see him and you don’t even know how to react

Oh No We Are Trapped In This Room And The Power Went Out And I Am Scared Of The Dark Please Hold My Hand For Science

yunhyeong loves smoothies and one day you catch him trying to blend a slice of pepperoni pizza into a smoothie because he is, and i quote, “tired of chewing”

IDK ALL THESE IDEAS ARE BAD BUT PLEASE PLOT WITH ME ANYWAY

[affectionatehannibal]

Bill Denbrough is a story-teller.

Need somebody to tell you what happened on last night’s showing of Saturday Night Live? Richie Tozier’ll do the job just fine, sure, but if you find him chances are good you’ll find Denbrough too, and he’ll make you feel as though you’re in the audience, staring right at the actors and actresses themselves. Didn’t feel like reading a book, but have to turn in an essay about it in an hour? Bill won’t write the essay for you, but he’ll tell the story as though he lived it himself and make it come alive clearer than any movie or SparkNotes article ever could. Words are both his home and weapon of choice- they are where he goes to rest and what he uses to look the world squarely in the eye, accept it for the shit-show it is, and continue on. It is because of all this, and because of their love and reverence for him, that Richie and Stan so easily believe his story about Georgie’s reappearance. And it is because of this that Bill manages to convince both of them to spend their Saturday locked inside the Derry City Library, scouring book after book for an explanation to their situation.

The table they’ve occupied for the better part of two hours now is completely filled with books. There are some on psychology and mental health, others on poltergeists and demons, ESP and clairvoyance, ley-lines, mediums, spirits, psychics, religions of all kinds, and all other things paranormal or strange. Every now and then, Stan looks up from his notes and glares at the mess before him, as though willing it to disappear. His side of the table is neatly arranged, with a hefty stack of books on his left and pages of notes on his right. Periodically, Richie stands up quietly and takes a stroll through the shelves, shaking excess energy out through his hands and making idle chatter with disgruntled library-goers who would much rather be left alone. His side of the table is busy but not particularly messy, with a few books open at once and a page filled with messy handwriting and scribbled doodles sitting off to the side. Every few minutes, Bill glances to his right to see how Georgie is fairing in their new surroundings and his stomach drops, like he’s seeing his dead brother’s figure for the first time. His side of the table is empty save for one book, opened to one of the earlier pages, his chair angled as far to the left as possible.

All three (living) boys jump as a large pile of books are dropped on the table. Mr. Cunningham, Derry’s only librarian, dusts his hands off and sighs. He stares daggers at the dozens of books already scattered across the table, imagining all the shelving he’ll be doing once the boys leave. Stan coughs to grab his attention and offers a slow, easy smile. “Thanks a lot, Mr. Cunningham. We really appreciate your help.”

Mr. Cunningham smiles back, previous displeasure forgotten. Bill and Richie share a glance, and Bill doesn’t try to hide his grin when Richie sticks a finger down his throat. If Bill’s talent is storying telling, Stan’s is kiss-assery. “My pleasure, Mr. Uris. Let me know if you need anything else,” he turns to Bill and Richie. Richie opens his mouth to say something, but Bill gives his foot a good warning kick before anything can come out. “You boys make sure to clean up after yourselves.”

Richie, lounging in the chair on Bill’s other side, pretends to shoot the librarian with double finger guns as he walks away. “God,” he groans. “Why do adults always look at you like they want you to suck their dicks?”

Stan smirks as he sorts through the new books, distributing an even amount to each of them. “Someone should warn them they’ll have to get in line.”

“Wowza wowza,” Richie grins. “Who gets to go first, me or Billy boy here?”

Stan absentmindedly flips through the pages of a book. “Who said you would be taking turns?”

Richie considers that for a moment. He leans forward in his seat, his eyes following Stan’s long, graceful fingers as they turn page after page. His face turns a splotchy, excited red, like he wishes Stan’s fingers were busy doing something else. He coughs. “Is it weird to get a hard-on in a library?”

Stanley doesn’t look up as he neatly writes something onto a sheet of paper. “No. I’m sure Mr. Cunningham will be very flattered to know you think so much of him.”

Bill clears his throat.

“Sorry,” Stan offers Bill a small, guilty smile. He shoots a glare in Richie’s direction. “Let’s get back to work.”

“Wuh-wuh-well,” Bill starts, looking down at the single book in front of him. He’d picked it from the pile on a whim, its plain, weathered cover certainly not making it the most interesting book of the bunch. Nonetheless, the first page had caught his attention and managed to hold it for a good two hours. He places it in the middle of the table, and Richie and Stan lean forward to get a better look at it. “I duh-duh-duh-oh-oh-n’t think w-w-we n-need to luh-luh-ook a-anymore.”

Stan raises an eyebrow. “This is a book about ghosts, Bill.”

“Har de har har,” Richie mimes a laugh, but his face is pale. “That’s real funny, Denbrough. You know, I’m pretty sure I saw the ghost of Stan’s virginity in the back of my mom’s Honda Accord. Should we be worrying about that, too, ‘cause I think the warranty is about to-”

“Wuh-wuh-why,” Bill interrupts.“d-did we even geh-geh-get b-books about th-th-this sah-sah-stuff if you guh-guys th-think it’s suh-suh-something eh-eh-else?”

Stan looks at Bill, eyes full of pity and exhaustion. “Come on. You can’t really think George-, a ghost is following you around.”

“Wuh-wuh-ood y-you rather him b-be here b-b-because of Pah-Pah-Pah-Pah-”

“Uh,” now it’s Richie’s turn to interrupt. “I’d like to take a minute to remind the audience that we killed that son of a bitch, like, a long time ago.

Stan slowly sits back in his seat, staring off into the distance, past Richie’s head. He shudders, like he sees something there that has no resemblance to the quiet rows of books that surround them. “We don’t know for sure he’s dead.”

Richie lets out a strangled laugh. His face is a sickly white, like he’s going to need to know the quickest way to the bathroom in a minute or two. “Do you remember what he looked like before he fell down that stinkin’ hole in the earth? If that motherfucker’s alive, I’m-”

“S-s-so you th-think it’s a guh-guh-ghost, t-too?”

Richie frowns. “Now, listen, I never said that.”

“Th-th-then wuh-wuh- what ?”

“I mean,” Richie shifts anxiously in his seat. He places two of his books in the middle of the table, on top of Bill’s and flips through them for a moment, looking for specific pages. “take a look at this. It could be somethin’ like high levels of mold in your house or, hell, I don’t know, stress-induced hallucinations or some shit. But it’s not ghosts and it’s not the fucking clown.”

“I’m nuh-nuh-nuh-not kuh-kuh-razy.”

“That’s not what he’s saying, Bill.” Stan takes one of Richie’s books, eyes scanning it hopefully.

“Of course not,” Richie worriedly runs a hand through his hair. It falls over his eyes and, for a moment, he looks just like he did five years ago. Scared and small and not at all ready to face the ugly truth that lives under Derry. He takes a deep, steadying breath, and the resemblance is gone.“I just- if it is a ghost, and I’m not saying I think it is, what next? We get a cool van and a talking dog, buy Bev a purple dress and call ourselves the Mystery Gang?”

Bill sits up straight in his chair and puts on the face he used to get them all to follow him into Neibolt all those years ago. “Wuh-wuh-we’re nah-nah-not t-telling th-the uh-uh-others about Juh-Juh-Georgie.”

Stan and Richie stare at Bill for a moment, eyes wide with shock (in Richie’s case) and frustration (in Stan’s). Stan closes his eyes and rubs his temples.

Richie’s shock quickly simmers into hurt and quiet indignation. Bill might be the leader of this operation, but they were a team of seven members, no matter what. “Now, wait just a minute-”

A small, quiet cough from the end of the table reminds the three of them that they are not alone. They aren’t in the clubhouse or the Barrens, or even crammed together, knees overlapping, on Bill’s bed. They’re just three boys with voices that are filled with too much fear and unspoken anger for a library, speaking too loudly about things better discussed in private.

They looked up to see a girl, about their age, glancing uncomfortably at each of their faces. For a moment, Bill thinks she stares right past him, right at Georgie, but then her eyes reach Stan’s and her face visibly brightens, like she’s found a lifeboat amongst a storm of angsty teenagers and sad, invisible, dead boys. “Stan! Sorry. For interrupting, I mean. I just, uh. Do you guys have,” she holds out a tiny slip of paper to Stan. “that?”

Stan takes a deep breath, pushing down the stress and worry their conversation had created enough to force his mouth into a tight smile. “I don’t think so,” he stands, eager to leave. “I can help you look for it though, if you want.”

Relief floods her face. “Would you really?”

“Of course,” Stan turns to face Richie and Bill. He opens his mouth as if to say something, then closes it again. He shoots them both a frustrated glare. “I’ll be back.”

Richie slumps in his chair and watches Stan and the girl walk away. He can tell by the tightness in Stan’s shoulders that he hasn’t forgotten what they’ve been talking about, but his face is light and he says something that makes the girl laugh. A few steps later they’re out of sight and Richie slumps even further down into his chair, so that Bill can only see the top of his head. “Who was that?”

Bill crosses his arms on the table and puts his head down on top of them. Georgie watches him do so. “S-s-some new guh-guh-irl in one of S-s-stan’s c-c-classes. Puh-puh-atty, I th-think.”

Richie glares moodily at his corner of the table. Fucking ghosts, messing everything up. Fucking clowns. Fucking Derry. He waits for his stomach to calm down before speaking again. “This fucking sucks, man.”

Bill glances at Georgie and fights the urge to cry. “T-t-tell muh-muh-me a-about it.”