#source: @incorrect-obeyme

[nyxxart]

MC: You’re drunk.

Satan [drunk]: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, MC.

[misc-obeyme]

https://www.tumblr.com/misc-obeyme/767443611046608896/disclose-thyne-secrets-for-writing-bows-for-barb?source=share

I need help describing the setting... Like idk, it was bright outside with trees?

I also need help with dialogue I cannot keep saying he said, she said, they said

Bows for barb

Okay so setting description. You don't need to describe every little detail. The goal is to give the reader the important information and let them fill in the rest. One of the best ways to do this is by using multiple senses. If you're writing in third person, you want to use the viewpoint character's senses to describe these. If you're writing in first or second person, it's the "I" or the "you" that you're describing things through.

It was bright outside with trees - okay, are they in a forest? Is it painfully bright? Is it only painfully bright because your character has spent too much time inside? Is the air clean and crisp or is it foggy and damp? Does the character hear wind in the trees? The singing of birds? Can they smell the decay of the leaves on the forest floor? Do they see different types of trees? Are the trees all encompassing?

Or are they at a park? It's bright and the trees are well maintained. They can hear the chatter of other park goers, the occasional quack of a duck from a nearby pond. They smell the scent of hot dogs from a stand selling them. Or perhaps it's more of a garden and they're smelling the thick floral scent of many different kinds of flowers. The park itself is fairly normal, but maybe they're there because they're looking for a specific statue that will give them information that advances the plot. In such a case, you would describe that statue. Maybe it's the statue of a dragon that towers over the rest of the park and is extremely prominent. A plaque explains the history of it. Etc etc.

General senses are good for describing settings, especially if your particular character would notice something because of who they are. After that, you'll want to point out specific parts of the setting that are relevant to the story. Talk about how your character interacts with the setting. If you're going for atmospheric, you can zoom out from your character's experience just a little and get poetic with the prose. You can also talk about how the place has a specific feeling to it, like the forest is hushed or the park is lively.

Hopefully some of that helps, but feel free to ask follow up questions!

As for dialogue, you absolutely can always say he said, she said, they said, and in fact you should use those most of the time.

I know there's a lot of posts and advice out there that give you a list of words to use other than said, but I personally find that advice to be questionable at best.

Dialogue tags such as he said, she said, and they said are there only for clarity. They aren't meant to do much and it's like that on purpose. They're supposed to help the reader understand who says what and that's all they're supposed to do. They're so normal that a reader is likely going to skim right over them. And that's okay, that's what you want. If you get too creative with those dialogue tags, it'll pull the reader right out of the story.

There are like maybe three exceptions. Sometimes you can use "asked" instead of "said" and I do this a lot because it just makes more sense in my head. Technically I don't think said would be incorrect, but it feels more correct to me personally to use asked when a character is asking a question. But that's also pretty standard and not likely to pull a reader out of the story.

Another exception of sorts is actual activity. Like when your character moves or something. For example.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she said.

He sat down across from her. "I think it's a wonderful idea."

You don't have to include "he said" because the action of him sitting down indicates that he's the one speaking. You can just leave off the dialogue tag all together. It's best not to overuse this though because then your characters are moving around too much while they're talking lol. That can also be distracting unless it's purposeful. Like maybe they're doing it because they're trying to unsettle the person they're talking to.

The last exception is the occasional more descriptive tag. You only want to use this sort of thing when you kinda want to pull your reader out of the story - just enough to indicate that something significant is happening. For instance.

"What are you doing?" she hissed.

This is letting the reader know that the character is angry, that's she's likely whispering the question to someone she's pissed at. It works as long as you don't use it twenty more times in the same scene. And it sets the tone of her voice for any continuing conversation she then has with the other person. Like-

"I was trying to make it look nice!" he said, the display behind him completely haphazard.

"It looks like trash," she said.

Behind her, the manager cleared his throat. She turned and smiled at him pleasantly.

"Anything going on here?" the manager asked, trying to look around her.

"Nothing I can't handle!" she said brightly.

Now you know that when she said it looks like trash, she's still saying it in that hissing tone. But by adding a single "brightly" to the last dialogue statement, we know she's putting on a fake happy voice for her boss.

The other thing is these "-ly" adverbs. You'll see a lot of advice saying not to use them. Personally I don't think it matters that much. I think they can do a good job of conveying a change in tone without you having to over describe it. That last sentence might have had to be "she said with a false brightness" which is fine but you can also convey the same thing with a bit of context ("smiled at him pleasantly") and only the word "brightly."

Another thing you can do to kind of shake up the dialogue tags is to use the character's names instead of their pronouns. I didn't do that because I didn't come up with names for these hypothetical characters lol but don't be afraid of using your characters' names.

Hopefully some of this is helpful! This is just how I approach these things. As with all such advice, it really depends on your own personal writing style and what you're trying to achieve with your story. Try out some different things and use what works best for you!

[realhhquotes]

Charlie: Hey Vaggie, can you hold this for me?

Vaggie: Sure

Charlie:

Charlie:

Vaggie:

Vaggie:

Vaggie: Babe, that’s your hand

[incorrect-obeyme]

Lucifer: [sigh]

Lucifer: anyone care to explain why levi is laying on the floor here?

Asmo: he's a little overwhelmed

Lucifer: because?

Asmo: mc smiled at him a few minutes ago

[opmfics-hcs]

Amai mask: raise your hands up if you like me!

Zombieman: and if we dont like you?

Amai mask: then raise your standards bitch wtf

[realhhquotes]

Millie: ‘Sleepy’ is soooo much cuter than ‘tired.’

Millie: Everyone needs to stop saying ‘tired’ and start saying ‘sleepy!’

Loona: I’m so sleepy of your shit

[realhhquotes]

Loona: You three. Explain. Now.

Moxxie: It was Blitzo.

Millie: It was Blitzo.

Blitzo: It was Blitzo.

Everyone:

Blitzo: shit

[incorrect-obeyme]

Asmo: Hehe, I told Beel that his ears turn red when he lies.

Satan: Oh?

Lucifer: Beel, I heard someone destroyed Madam Scream's yesterday. Did you do it?

Beel: [covering his ears] No...?

[incorrect-obeyme]

[House of Lamentation (8)]

Mammon: Just so ya know, I can run at 200 mph!

Lucifer: More like 200mph (mistakes per hour)

[incorrect-obeyme]

Lucifer: Where in the world is Levi? Let's ask the staff to make an announcement.

MC: Not to worry!

MC: MARCO

Levi: [from a distance] POLO

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: Well then.

[incorrect-obeyme]

Levi, watching his online lecture on his phone:

Professor: Feel free to leave-

Levi: [aggressively taps end call]

[incorrect-obeyme]

Satan: i'm heading to the library to study, are you coming?

Mammon: nah I study better at night

[at night]

Mammon, sleeping on his bed: [snores]

[incorrect-obeyme]

[House of Lamentation (New)]

Levi: Sure I don't get enough sleep like some other people.

Levi: But the real question is? Can they do this?

Levi:

MC: Guys?

MC: Levi just passed out on the stairs...