#source: accio shitpost

[notinsufferable]

Ravenclaw: huff, the lucky charms are finished, sorry

Hufflepuff: they ask you how you are, and you just have to say you’re fine when you’re not really fine, but you just can’t get into it, because they would never understa-

[incorrect-starkid]

henry: did you set the house on fire ?

ted: i’m offended you even asked me that

henry: yeah but.. did you?

ted: i mean. yes

[fairytail-incorrectquotes]

Makarov: I'm trying to be like Willy Wonka.

Makarov: You know, a kind and mysterious mentor figure.

Lucy: Who is directly responsible for the probable deaths of like five kids.

Makarov: Ah, technicality.

[strangerthingsquotes]

Hopper: Kids, you’re under arrest for trying to fit three people on one motorbike.

Mike: Wait. Three?

Hopper: Yes, three.

Lucas: Oh fuck.

Hopper: Excuse me?

Dustin: STEVE FELL OFF GUYS

[worstloki]

Loki: come with me

Loki: and you'll be

Loki: pretty much constantly in danger

[insert-current-hyperfixation]

Eddie: This is your fault.

Richie: I mean probably,

Richie: but what specifically this time?

[totallyaccurate-hamilquotes]

Alexander: So no-one ever told you life was gonna be this way

John: you're super fucked and broke, and prob'ly gonna die today!

[incorrectsistersgrimmquotes]

Puck: hey do you know anyone who can teach me to play the trumpet?

Pinocchio: no, why?

Puck: i wanna wander around and annoy sabrina

Daphne: technically you don't need to know how to play the trumpet to do that

Puck: you have opened my eyes, daphne

[a-salting-the-world]

Thorne: Hey, this Levana character isn’t even that bad.

Thorne: She didn’t even succeed in killing a baby.

Cinder: Thorne, I have a mountain of trauma.

[nottxbones]

Malfoy: Red hair? Hand-me down clothes? You must be a Weasley.

Zacharias: Hey did you hear what Malfoy said Bones?

Susan: What's a Weasley? You know not all gingers are related.

Susan: *Hexs Headbutts Zacharias.* You fucking clown.

[ravenclaw-unicorn]

Gryffindor: My superpower is vague optimism.

Ravenclaw: You are literally a wizard.

[thetortured-poetsdepartment]

MCU - in the soul stone

Peter P: some of you never did your waiting, twelve years of it, in azkaban, and it really shows :/

[siriusly-fuck-off]

james: do you ever wanna talk about your emotions, remus?

remus: no.

sirius: i do!

james: i know, sirius.

sirius: i’m sad!

james: i know, sirius.

[fairytail-incorrectquotes]

Lucy: Those dark guilds are getting desperate.

Erza: Oh really?

Lucy: I saw one of their lackeys dragging a trampoline onto the grounds last night.

Erza: You sure that's a secret plan?

Lucy: I mean, he could just be really into trampolining, but I doubt it.

[wilburytwist]

Bob: I only feel one emotion and it is anger

George: last night you drunk texted me a thousand heart emojis

Bob: out of anger

[beatlesdiscord]

John: George, I thought you and Ritchie were dating

George: we're friends with benefits

Ringo: the benefit is also friendship