#source: accio-shitpost

[wilburytwist]

Bob: I only feel one emotion and it is anger

George: last night you drunk texted me a thousand heart emojis

Bob: out of anger

[beatlesdiscord]

John: George, I thought you and Ritchie were dating

George: we're friends with benefits

Ringo: the benefit is also friendship

[shitthehousessay]

Gryffindor: Huff, I thought you and Raven were dating

Ravenclaw: We're friends with benefits

Hufflepuff: The benefit is also friendship

[incorrect-starkid]

voldemort: i only feel happy when i kill people

quirrel: wow, so edgy and deep my dark lord

[incorrectsides]

Roman: Hey, do you know anyone who can teach me how to play the trumpet?

Logan: Why?

Roman: I wanna wander around the mindscape and annoy Virgil.

Logan: Technically you don't actually need to know how to play it for that.

Roman:

Roman: You have opened my eyes

[fairytail-incorrectquotes]

Gray: I sneak "my dead family" onto every Christmas list I've ever written just on the off chance Santa's like "well alright then".

[lecfosism]

damian: i’m gay

regina: he just likes old language, he means happy

damian: oh i’m very happy

damian: about how much i love men

[incorrectstarkfamily]

Jon: What do you think would happen if I just punched the Night King?

Jon: Guys like a 12000 and a supervillain, he's not got time to lift

Jon: I could take him

[kaneandjackson]

The most fun Travis and Connor Stoll ever had was when everyone at CHB had to round up the 25 wild geese they released and the search never stopping because they numbered the geese 1-24 and then 26

[wicked-rosie]

Logan: What are you doing?

Virgil: *awake at 4 am, sitting in front of the fridge eating ice cream from the tub with a fork* My best

[incorrectlegallyblondequotes]

Brooke: The worst part of adulthood is definitely all the people trying to kill me

Vivienne: Your experiences are not universal

[winchester-cas]

Dean: I only feel one emotion and it is anger

Cas: last night you drunk texted me a thousand heart emojis

Dean: out of anger

[ness-plays-wizards]

Randolph: C'mon Conrad I'm still down with the kids

Randolph: *clears throat*

Randolph: What's on fleek today my homies? We all want to yeet our exams to the max, right?

Schuyler: Sweet wizard jesus

[fairytail-incorrectquotes]

Makarov: I’m getting old. I literally always have a Werther’s Original on me, just in case.

[aces-to-apples]

ahsoka: anyone else wanna be ahsoka tano for the weekend? i can trade out

[dadstielkline]

Dean: Who are you?

Castiel: GIVE HIM MY HEADSHOT

Dean: Um, what?

Castiel: I MEAN I’M AN ANGEL OF THE LORD