#source: mortal instruments

[totally-correct-star-wars]

Thorn: The Senate Guard has a plan. Fox: The Senate Guard has the collective intelligence of a pineapple.

[caitlyncarstairs]

jinx: is this when you start tearing strips off your t-shirt to bind up my wound?

ekko: if you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have just asked. it would be a lot less painful.

[emmikay]

Ajax the Greater: When Laertides says “enterprising,” he means “morally deficient.”

Odysseus: No, I mean enterprising. When I mean morally deficient, I say, “Now that’s something I would have done.”

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Cleric: Why are you always trying to get yourself killed? Barbarian: It's my job. Cleric: It's a hazard of your job. At least for most adventurers. For you it seems to be the purpose.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Childe: [looking at the Exuvia]: Is he dead? He looks dead.

Traveler: No, he's not dead.

Childe: Have you checked? I could kick him if you want.

[fabuloustrash05]

Knuckles: Is this the part where you tell me that if I hurt Rouge you’ll kill me?

Shadow: No. No. If you hurt Rouge, she’s quite capable of killing you herself.

[military-newsboys]

Ice: How do you manage never to get mud on your clothes?

Mav: I'm pure at heart. It repels the dirt.

[carelessflower]

alec: if you wanna find me, you can see me at the top

izzy: but you’re a bottom

[incorrectswordcatcherquotes]

Andreyen: Is there anything I can get for you? Something to drink? Some tea? Kel: I don't want tea. I want to find the person who tried to murder Conor. And I want to find out why they tried to murder him in the first plan, and I want to kill them. Andreyen: Unfotunetly, we're all out of bitter revenge at the moment, so it's either tea or nothing.

[catra-come-out]

Glimmer: If you're texting Catra to say 'I think u r kewl,' I'm going to kill you

Frosta: Who's Catra?

Adora, glaring at Glimmer: A Horde Force Captain

Glimmer: A sexy, sexy Horde Force Captain

Frosta, confused: But the Horde is bad.

Glimmer: Exactly!

[scythes-and-roses]

Ruby: So is the part where you tell me if I hurt Weiss, you'll kill me?

Winter: No. If you hurt Weiss, she is quite capable of killing you herself. Possibly with a variety of weapons.

[daemon-is-perfectly-unhinged]

Rhaegar: We're trying to make you feel peaceful. Blood, killing, war, those are all non-peaceful things. Isn't there anything else you like?

Jon: Weapons. I like weapons.

Rhaegar: I'm starting to think we have a problematic issue of personal philosophy here.

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Paladin: When Rogue says “enterprising,” they mean “morally deficient.” Rogue: No, I mean enterprising. When I mean morally deficient, I say, “Now that’s something I would have done.”

[6ofbastards]

Alec: my kink is when people actually care about my feelings and what I have to say

Jace: too unrealistic, settle for bondage like the rest of us

[incorrect-niche-quotes]

Puck: I don't wanna be an adult. I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead!

Jake: Well, you're doing a fantastic job

[kaitcreates]

Jace, on the phone: It’s Jace. Alec: What did he do this time? Jace: No it’s me, Jace. Alec: What did you do this time?