#started to develop those esteem issues

[deus-and-the-machina]

hythlodaeus be like "teehee I hope I can be of some use" *clean headshot* 😊

bitch they wanted you for the aether-centric governmental position I know you think your curmudgeony cunt husband is amazing but stop selling yourself short its a slippery slope to sacrificing yourself to make god smh

[a-little-ray-of-fantasy]

An analysis on how Sir Pentious' character design represents his personality and development perfectly (beware of Hazbin Hotel spoilers)

Let's get this out of the way: Sir Pentious is a snake, an animal mostly known for generally believed negative traits such as poison, deceit and betrayal. We don't know WHY he's in Hell, maybe he was a "snake oil salesman" considering he comes from the Victorian times and he's into hyping up what he does, or maybe he was into war. Thing is, he's a Sinner whose design just scream "Evil".

(BTW, a snake could also represent "fertility": looking at you, Egg Boiz!)

He always had eyes all around him not just because of a stylistic choice.

Sir Pentious always felt like he was watched, and had to watch out for any danger.

"Everyone here is too nice: obviously it must be a lie! I can sense they are planning to kill me, but when?! HOW?! I must be PREPARED!"

Sadly, he's been constantly berated by other demons, far more effective in destruction, status, cruelty and charisma. Alastor won't ever bother to remember him, Cherri always ones up him, and the Vs, the ones he admires to most, won't care less about him.

To the point that Vox sent him as a spy without the intention to save him if things were going to fail. Heck, he even openly tells him to die while calling him a failure.

So of course he's got reasons to have trust issues, or taking everything so seriously, being constantly reminded of what he can't accomplish. So he puts an air of grandure that may be very flamboyant, but is VERY frail.

But, if we have to be frank here, his biggest source of insecurities... is himself.

He has eyes on his tail (his softer, more vulnerable side, which is ironically made even MORE lieable to getting hurt because of how sensitive those organs are), and inside his hood, so he could look out better for danger when on alert mode.

Heck, even the mark on his hood kinda resembles one eye.

Problem is, when you see his hood folded, when he's at ease, neutral or sad, those are not looking at outside sources.

They're looking at him, at his back. A constant stare that happens everytime he lets his guard down and shows how vulnerable he is. A gaze that can sense all of his weakness, his struggles, his insecurities.

And it's all him.

Pentious constantly believes that his inferiority complex will fade away once he'll accomplish something grand that will make others accept him. But he is his biggest critic, his worst enemy: HE is the one who believes he's a failure, that he'll never gain approval from others.

This show takes place in Hell, but this is Sir Pentious' personal Hell: insecurity born out of self hatred. Doomed to feel everyone's gaze upon him, including his own. Believing the danger to his self esteem is from others, when it's really from him.

But then he's accepted at the Hazbin Hotel: Charlie forgives him, he bonds with Angel, Husk and Niffty who don't care a bit about what he's accomplished or not, or what he's done in the past.

He feels more comfortable in showing his vulnerable side, and no one judges him for how easy it is for him to get emotional.

Of course he's still very insecure, considering how he struggles to confess to Cherri, but notice how he stops building machines or planning to attack others as soon as he starts bonding with the others: he doesn't have a reason to destroy or attack, now that he knows he's loved.

And his final design, when he goes to Heaven, shows how much he's changed, yet stayed the same. He may have died a hero, but he's still the same awkward snake we've come to love.

Speaking of love, let's talk about that!

No more eyes on his tail, now it's just on his chest (showing he's opened his heart), his glasses are now heart shaped, and even the markings inside his hood resemble kiss marks more than anything else.

And look: the mark on his hood is now heart shaped!

Why all these hearts? Why did all the eyes disappeared from his body? Even his eyes that were looking at his back?

Simple: love. Love defeated his insecurities and self hatred. He died for love.

He died protecting his friends, his new family, his new home.

He confessed and kissed Cherri knowing full well he wouldn't have made it, and yet he went anyway.

The usually cowardly and timid Pentious actually faced a great danger with courage and determination: he acted selflessly by putting himself in harm's way, he didn't steal (naturally) and by going against Adam he did indeed "stick it to the man"!

He used his weaponry knowhow and battle experience not to conquer, but to save his loved ones.

His only thought up until his demise was: "I'll go down protecting them".

And he's been rewarded not only by becoming an angel, but also being spawned directly in front of Emily and Sera, two Seraphim, the highest rank for an angel to have, who have also been depicted as snakes of fire throughout history! Sir Pentious, the lowly demon considered a failure by everyone, actually has been noticed by the Seraphim! He's come so far!

He's now come to represent the REAL symbolism of a snake: the duality of death and rebirth, transformation and immortality (ironically a reference to the fact he's been around since 1888 without ever dying from any Extermination or blessed weapons).

And isn't so poetic that a snake, the "source of the original evil", was the first sinner to ascend to Heaven? Or that this episode was released on February 1st, or National Serpent Day?

And of course, as the Bible itself says:

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

(John 15:13)

And knowing him, I'm confident in saying he'll keep helping his friends even in his new position, like the soft hearted noodle he's always been, but was to afraid to show it up until now.

[martian-astro]

Atmakaraka series - Part 1

Atmakaraka is the planet with the highest degree in the birth chart.

Short note : atmakaraka can give good or bad results depending on the strength of the atmakaraka planet.

Atmakaraka in 1st house:-

In this life the person needs to take care of themselves and focus on their own development.

Sun atmakaraka in 1st house- I like this one the most, I have only met 1 person with this placement, and she's so charming. I feel like people just see them as a leader. Sun is in one of the best positions here and people who have this placement definitely have a high self-confidence unless the sun is aspected by a malefic planet. It's also very easy for these people to focus on themselves. (now that I think about it, I really don't remember any celebrity having this placement, or maybe I've just forgotten, I'll have to check again, and then make a separate post about it because people who have it just have this "I know I'm the best" kind of vibe, you know???)

Moon atmakaraka in 1st house - I have noticed that people who have this are very sensitive, they try to hide their feelings but they are unable to do so. You know when you ask someone if they are okay and then they start crying and say "Nope, I'm okay, everything's fine" and you can SEE that they're not fine, that situation reminds me of this placement. People with this should definitely meditate, and Journaling can help too, and share your feelings with your friends or family. You guys need to learn how to control your emotions and deal with them in a healthy way. (also, not to generalise but be careful when dating a guy who has moon atmakaraka in 1st conjunct Mars because one of my friend was dating a guy with it and let's just say he was.... Aggressive)

Mercury Atmakaraka in 1st house - yooo, I'm so jealous of people with this, you know those people who start studying 1 day before an exam and still manage to score 90+, yup its them. I know a person with this placement who always has such "controversial" opinions but when you listen to why he thinks that, they make so much sense, he doesn't say things just to piss people off, he actually does his research and UNDERSTANDS an issue before talking about it. If afflicted, they can be scared to express their opinions because they know that it goes against the majority. I wouldn't say just express your opinions because I know how the world is but rather make friends who have the same opinion as you and talk to them. (it's okay if you hate Colleen Hoover, I'm with you)

Venus atmakaraka in 1st house - I know 3 people with this placement and their fashion sense is just WOW, not just fashion sense but design sense in general. So I know a girl with this placement, and she lives in a super tiny studio apartment but when you enter, it feels like the house is HUGE, because of the way she has designed it, placed the furniture and the colors that she has used. I also see a lot of people saying that people with this are extroverted and love the company of others but I don't think it's true for everyone. The studio apartment girl is super shy, she doesn't like going to parties or interacting with other people, she mostly keeps to herself. If afflicted, these people can have low self esteem and they can wear baggy clothes because they don't feel confident enough to wear the clothes that they really WANT to wear.

Mars atmakaraka in 1st house - so I know a person with this placement (that person is me), who loves playing sports, people who have it can be very athletic and be interested in activities like hiking and trekking, I also know another person who has this placement and she HATES working out, but she also has a very hard time controlling her anger, because there's no outlet, so when she's angry she just starts yelling and hitting people or just starts crying in the middle of nowhere, I used to be like this, but it got better once I started doing muay Thai and fencing, it's because all of my anger was being used in that. They can also feel their blood boiling when reading about social issues and it can make them really angry to read about things that they don't agree with, and listen to people who don't agree with them(like if someone tells me feminism is not needed anymore, I'm resorting to violence because WHAT THE FUCK??)

Jupiter atmakaraka in 1st house - these people are the definition of "mom friend", they are really good at giving advice and they are good at teaching as well, I have noticed. I have a friend who has this placement and she would teach me maths 1 week before the exam because our teachers were shit, and I would always score well because of how nicely she would teach me the concepts. She also convinced her mother to divorce her husband, and she was literally like "If you take this decision, I'll be with you, we'll figure something out don't worry. But if you don't leave him, then I'll leave and you can suffer alone", 💀, this may seem harsh but her mom needed to hear that. They can also unfortunately become the victims of parentification.

Saturn atmakaraka in 1st house - (everyone who has Saturn atmakaraka deserves a hug). They can be very pessimistic and can give up on things very easily, they can feel like no matter how hard they work they never get good results. I know a person with this, who would study SO hard, like stay in the library for HOURS only to get very low marks. I know that Mars is considered a malefic planet but in this case, if your Saturn is in conjunction with Mars then your situation becomes so much better, like no matter how many times you fail, YOU WILL NOT GIVE UP, and then, in the end, Saturn will give the best result because Saturn wants you to never give up, it wants you to fall and fall again but still complete the race and Mars, in this case, becomes the hand that helps you get up when you fall.

(all pictures are taken from Pinterest, this is not my art)

© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

Genuine question, how does one deal with someone being so insistent on their lack of (self-)worth? Not to vent too much, but I grew up with someone who was at least as bad, if not worse than Ragatha. I developed similar habits (this comic is a painful reminder of that) and my friends also tend to struggle with these feelings. But I never know how to deal with these issues, and it just leaves me feeling helpless.

I believe you‘re not a psychologist and it‘s fine if you don‘t want to answer this. But if you do have some advice or resources on this topic, I‘d love to know about it.

hi !

you're right , i am Not a psychologist ! my only credential is pretty much having it as my special interest of many years , so ... ! obligatory ' take this with a grain of salt ' disclaimer

i'm only answering this ask because i do like talking about these kinds of stuff ( in fact i'm in the middle of writing another psychology infographic with ragatha because of Course i am , ) and it's Relevant right now ... but for the most part i am literally just a stranger on the internet and thus i'll only be giving out general advice !! any specifics of the situation are stuff you'll need to figure out yourself

number one thing is that you should Always Take Care Of Yourself . it may be hard to admit , but these types of people can actually be Emotionally Draining - and i'm saying that as someone who had to deal with those people myself . and well you don't want to accidentally say things that make them feel worse

second thing is that a lot of it is ... really the other person's effort . all you can do is be supportive and gently encourage them . what took me so long to accept is that no amount of words or compliments will lift someone's self-esteem up - while it helps , it really has to come from Within , and that's something that'll take months or Years to build up . you can't force someone to start loving themself - and that's a hard pill to swallow

and the third thing is that ... well . there's a possibility that it could be a symptom of a mental disorder and thus you should encourage them to seek professional help . i am aware that the option is not available for everyone though , but i think recognizing that it might be a mental problem might take the burden off of you a little - as they're not really things a non-professional should handle .

as for resources , this article was extensive about this topic , including recognizing where the low self-esteem comes from , what Not to say to someone with low self-esteem , and tips that'll help the person ! very wonderful to read .

this article is for partners but i think it applies to people you're close with in general . what i like about it is how it Encourages open communication and listening . something you'll realize is that it's Different for everybody and it's good to learn more about the problem than jumping to a hasty solution or making assumptions . also it encourages them to talk more about their Feelings and talking about your feelings is what Very Cool And Hot People Do !

oh God sorry for the long post this should be enough to give me a diagnosis -

[panlight]

hi! i love reading the discussions you have about twilight. i was wondering, what do you think Bella’s career would be if she cared enough to have one? ik Stephanie said teacher, but that seems really ooc for Bella tbh. can’t see her wanting to be a housewife for long either, especially when recipe grows up and leaves. i could see her as a writer maybe, though im not sure about the type of books she’d write (vampire romance ?? 😭). also maybe something with book stores or libraries. teaching seems like an extroverted job, and she’s the opposite of that.

You're right that SM said that Bella had planned to become a teacher. She said that her mother's career was the one thing Bella admired about Renee, but that Bella wanted to teach older kids, so like high school. But I agree with you that doesn't really seem like a Bella thing to do. Bella doesn't even like high school students while she IS one herself, I don't see her enjoying that kind of work at all.

Although to be fair I know lots of people who sort of had a vague idea about "becoming a teacher" because they didn't know what else to do with their area of interest (in this case, Bella's love of reading) but then when they took their first education classes in college they were like "yikes, nope, not for me." So this might have happened to Bella eventually.

I definitely feel like the bookstore idea is more her speed. She's actually pretty organized and practical so I think she could run a small business no problem, and she does seem to take some pleasure in keeping things running even though she shouldn't have had to do so on behalf of her parents. It would probably be more fun and rewarding for her when it's a choice. Could totally see her dabbling in writing on the side but feeling like "oh it's not any good" given her self-esteem issues, but eventually a friend (Jacob? Angela? maybe even Mike or Jess but I don't feel like she'd trust them enough to show them her writing) would encourage her to try and publish.

Now if this is all happening in a world where she did marry Edward and become a vampire, then the Cullen money would make this bookstore thing super easy, barely an inconvenience. Edward would just buy the cutest bookstore and have Bella take over, but it would feel kind of hollow, like she's just "playing bookstore" because she didn't have to try. And of course Edward would get her books published under a fake name and . . . you know, maybe that's how Twilight exists in the first place.

Libraries are also a good option! I am myself a librarian so I speak with some authority on this, haha. I think Bella would do great with some of the behind-the-scenes work like cataloging (which was my previous job) or collection development (Selecting and Buying the stuff, which is my current job) or maybe even shelving books, but she'd HATE the more customer-facing stuff like programming, circulation, reference. At my library even those of us with behind-the-scenes jobs do have some time on the service desks helping patrons, and as an introvert it's not my favorite but most library jobs start there. Almost everyone I know got their foot in the door of the library with some part time circulation desk job and then worked up to something better and I don't know if Bella makes it past that hurdle. The library is about being there for the community and meeting THEIR needs; a bookstore she could set up to her own tastes.

[growingstories]

Taste of his own medicine

Once upon a time in the bustling city of San Francisco, there lived a handsome and privileged young doctor named Dr Jeremy Dinah. With his muscular body and chiseled features, he had always been the "golden boy" of his wealthy family. However, his upbringing had made him quite the spoiled brat, carrying a sense of entitlement that extended even into his professional life.

After completing medical school, Dr. Dinah decided to join a prestigious private hospital. Unbeknownst to his colleagues and patients, he was a health freak. His locker filled was with protein powders, creatine, and an array of supplements. He meticulously prepped his meals and never ate in the hospital restaurant, deeming the food unworthy of his refined taste.

Dr. Dinah had a particular disdain for overweight individuals, and he never let an opportunity pass to remind fat patients and even his colleagues about their weight issues. His harsh and condescending remarks would leave lasting wounds on the self-esteem of those on the receiving end.

Two nurses, Lucy and Sarah, had borne the brunt of his fat-shaming remarks one too many times. Determined to put an end to his toxic behavior, they devised a plan. They decided to start throwing away his prepped meals so that he had no choice but to eat at the hospital restaurant.

At first, Dr. Dinah complained about the quality of the food, but people around him stayed silent, pretending not to notice. Too busy with his professional commitments, he couldn't find the time to investigate further. He begrudgingly started consuming the hospital food, which was far from his meticulously crafted meals.

Weeks passed, and Dr. Dinah’s strict diet began to fall apart. Craving a change, he gradually started adding French fries to his meals, relaxing his formerly stringent eating habits. As a result, his weight began to climb up. He started complaining about his love handles, puzzled as to how they had appeared despite his efforts in the gym.

Dr. Dinah’s gym routine became more frequent, desperately attempting to work off the stubborn fat. However, his colleagues, restricted by their professional uniforms, couldn't discern any significant change in his appearance.

Lucy and Sarah saw the opportunity to strike again. They swapped Dr. Dinah's protein powder with a mass gainer that went unnoticed by his unrefined taste buds. As the weeks went by, a visible bulge started forming in Dr. Dinah's belly, which protruded even through his uniform.

Confronted by his growing belly, Dr. Dinah realized that his sit-ups were becoming increasingly challenging. It dawned on him that something was amiss. However, the once arrogant and rude doctor had evolved into a friendlier and more approachable person after the change in his eating habits. The plan had worked, as he was no longer "hangry" all the time, making it much more pleasant to work with him.

The last phase of the plan involved changing Dr. Dinah's schedule. With the help of a woman from HR, who had also experienced fat-shaming incidents with him, they made his days longer and more filled with on-call duties. This meant less time for him to spend at the gym on his free days. Initially, he despised the change, but the newfound leisure time allowed him to reconnect with friends and family, whom he had neglected in favor of his fitness obsession.

People began to notice Dr. Dinah's expanding belly, and playfully poked at it whenever they saw him. Surprisingly, he didn't seem to mind it anymore. Rather, he relished in the attention, finding joy in the fact that he was now seen more positively by those around him.

Completely giving up on his meticulously prepped meals, Dr. Dinah grew fond of the hospital restaurant. He even developed a friendly relationship with the staff. Furthermore, the girls informed the restaurant's boss of their plan, who then started providing Dr. Dinah with bigger personalized portions during night shifts. The once health-conscious doctor unknowingly indulged in the abundance of food, growing bigger and bigger.

Unexpectedly, his increased size brought about positive changes in his life. His weight had plateaued, and he now had more time for dating. Dr. Dinah's newfound openness and humor made him more attractive to others.

In the end, Dr. Dinah realized the error of his ways. He had learned a valuable lesson about the consequences of fat-shaming and the importance of treating others with kindness and respect. And so, Dr. Jeremy Dinah embraced his new shape with newfound confidence and humility. He became a more compassionate and understanding doctor, forever changed by the lessons he had learned through his own self-inflicted transformation.

[timkontheunsure]

I’d like your opinion on a few theories about something Viv teased about the next episodes. She said that they culminate in the ending of an arc they’ve been building up for awhile. I have 3 theories what that could be

1. Blitz-overcoming his low self esteem and demons, able to move on

2. Stolas- he stands up for himself against the goetia, possibly stripped of his title.

3.stolitz- they finally talk, possibly confess and reconcile

Or it could be a combo of all 3. But it sounds like she’s talking about a specific arc, and while I’d like for it to be Stolitz development, I have a feeling it’s a specific character arc.

What do you think?

Humm ok (again obligatory warning about head injury, so sorry about typos, or not connecting things properly ect).

But kinda think all 3 are getting advanced, but only 1 of them finished by the end of this season.

1)Blitz-overcoming his low self esteem and demons, able to move on.

Well we've definitely had some of that Oops and Blitz getting the unattainable of Fizz forgiving him, and being his best friend again.

And I think we're going to see some of that trauma get explored in Ghostfuckers.

It's also likely that it's going to be the episode with Blitz's hearing he makes everything worse from evil Millie.

But I don't think that's going to be neatly packed away, because Barbie's met to be back in s3.

It also doesn't quite make sense if that's not the main focus of the last two episodes. Mastermind and Sinsmas don't seem to be able that. Though we do appear to have the least clips about those.

But honestly mostly because this show understands trauma is with us for the long haul. We can unpack it, make it lighter to carry, but it's always with us.

2) Stolas- he stands up for himself against the goetia, possibly stripped of his title.

Could be. A big theme is Stolas learning he's allowed to choose, but also setting up one hell of a backlash for stepping out of line.

We've had a theme of people standing up to the powerful.

With Blitz standing up to Ozzie for M&M,

Loona standing up to Bee,

Fizz standing up to Mammon.

Stolas either telling Paimon, or the Goetias council, that he's getting the divorce no matter what they do; could play into that theme.

The tile striping seems fairly likely, but possible down the road. Maybe suspension first?

But again I don't think that's going to be nice wrapped up either. With the trail plot starting in series 3.

Assuming that'll be about the book deal, because chekhov's gun says it's gotta blow up in their faces at somepoint.

Also Stolas coming out in his 30s was always going to be a bit messy.

Can't really see that being fully over in a couple of episodes because this show gets trauma, and missed developmental stages and secondary adolescence take a while to work through.

(Take it for someone who was parentified from an early age, you don't really get to move on till you've dealt with it. Even if it's as small as being silly every now and again. Or just keeping a teddy.)

Pretty sure this is why Stolas has to hug himself to sleep. (Link for people that have no clue what I'm on about here)

3)stolitz- they finally talk, possibly confess and reconcile.

Yer this would be my bet for the one that's getting nicely tied up.

Best guess it'll be them both admitting they love eachother.

Because Blitz has spent the first 2 series pretending as hard as possible that he doesn't like Stolas, and definitely doesn't love him.

(Despite everyone around him, but Stolas, able to tell he's head over heels for his fluffy owl).

I'm not expecting miracles with our sweet dummies though.

That's kinda all I'm expecting to sort.

With them probably not full getting together because of issues they need to work though, the divorce, Stella's abuse and plot to kill Stolas, and Via being against them dating ect.

(She's gotta be called CockblOctavia for a reason after all. Ok had to add the other link to Brandon calling her that, cus too funny).

[lightofraye]

Hi there!

Per request, I cropped your name.

I also sent you an apology privately for how long it'd taken me to get to this. Largely because it's just a depressing thing to talk about. Danneel is doing classic abuser techniques here--putting him down; humiliating him in front of others (when at cons like Wales Comic Con) or having him repeating negative stories at cons himself; continuously finding fault with him; making him feel like the foolish one; disregarding his thoughts and/or emotions; and using sarcasm to cause harm.

Imagine having your own spouse, your partner of what... 17 years?... saying "You'll do" when they're stanning other, wealthier actors and stars. Like, wow. Consolation prize? Thanks? As though she didn't force his hand into proposing to him. Mind, Jensen even said she laid down an ultimatum--propose or she walked. That's love, for sure!

Imagine landing no less than three shows with Amazon and a regular guest starring appearance on a major broadcaster... and still being told "Not impressed". God. That's painful.

He may likely be so busy that despite what some AAs are saying ("It's only 1.5 hour flight to home!"), he might not even fly back home all that much. Why would he? For his kids? Absolutely. For his so-called loving wife? Not so much.

Have you noticed in that clip, Jared had to stop Jensen from rambling? Because he was listening to his friend and brother in all but blood put himself down repeatedly, hearing how his friend's wife is being emotionally abusive... in public, no less. I can't even imagine how Jared feels about this.

Mind, Jared knew Danneel before Jensen did (or so Danneel claimed). Ever notice how they barely ever hang out in the past? If all four of them--Jared, Gen, Jensen and Danneel--did hang out, Jared was rarely spotted with her. He knew what kind of person she was and wanted nothing to do with her.

Even Gen barely engaged with Danneel. Oh, Gen was friendly and warm in public--I'm reminded of that one live video where Gen praised Danneel's acting as Sister Jo/Anael on Sueprnatural and the look Danneel gave her... Danneel knew Gen didn't mean it.

Getting sidetracked here.

I know a lot of anti Jensens won't agree with me here, and that's all fine. We're allowed different opinions. Even those who are "Jensen critical" would disagree as well. Also fine. What I'm about to say next is my own personal opinion, speculation, and observation.

As I've mentioned before, I'm a survivor of abuse. From childhood onward, I've endured a variety. Emotional neglect, physical abuse, even sexual abuse as a child. That wrecks people. Because we're experiencing abuse from the hands of people who should love us. So if our own parents, siblings, relatives, whatever, are hurting us... we start to think: "Did I do something to deserve this mistreatment? Am I such a horrible person?"

And if that isn't corrected--and too often childhood survivors are overlooked and ignored, not able to get the help they desperately need, they often develop and grow into insecure adults with low self-esteem and low self-value.

One very common refrain will ring in their minds: "I am unworthy and undeserving of love."

This is where I feel Jensen's issues stem from. He was exploited by his parents for their gain and profit. Modeling, acting, often told by his father he's being punished out of love (thus creating a negative association of what love really is), and likely surrounded by a lot of people who use him for their gain and profit.

I can't speculate on the relationship between his parents, but what little I've heard and seen of Alan Ackles, it doesn't sound like a healthy example either.

If you don't know what a healthy relationship looks like, or experience it yourself... one struggles a lot. It's how generational trauma is created. My paternal grandfather... was abusive. Emotional and... otherwise (there's a massive skeleton in that closet that left me floored when I discovered it). My own father continued it. I'm determined to break it and I think I've largely succeeded. No, I didn't have a healthy relationship, but I grew strong enough to know what I had wasn't it.

I'd rather be single than in an unhappy relationship. Unfortunately, for so many survivors and victims, it's never easy. Because the voices in their head parroting the fears back to them lie.

It's sadly easier to say "Oh. That person made that choice! It's their own damned fault they're unhappy!" Or "They're the ones who stay!" It's easier to judge than it is to admit that it's not a cut-and-dry situation. That breaking the emotional abuse cycle, that breaking free from abuse in general, is never, ever easy.

I speak from experience. I lost quite a few friends because they actually thought I wanted to stay, or that I was being unreasonable in my fear. Not once did they bother to reach out and try to understand from my end.

"Oh just leave!"

No... it's never easy to "just leave".

Jensen's trapped in a very vicious cycle right now. He finds it easier to put himself down and think he deserves it, than to admit that he's in a situation that he could leave. It's scary to leave. It's the unknown. It's easier, in so many ways, to live with the pain we know than the pain we don't.

Danneel knows it, feeds on it, uses it.

I rambled on a lot. I appreciate your ask and your compassion for Jensen.

Thank you for reading.

[xjulixred45x]

Headcanons of ed,al and ling with a s/o that have a twin? And that twin is protective,like theyre total oppossites,reader is a meek,calm and shy person while their twin is more extrovert,grumpy and protective

Awwww this is cute! I have a Twin myself, so this is pretty much relatable for me

Edward Elric/Alphonse Elric/ Ling Yao x Reader with a Twin

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: neutral

Warnings: none really, Reader is shy while their Twin is grumpy. Fluff

Edward Elric

The funniest reaction of the three

First of all, I think that Ed's relationship with the reader works precisely on the basis that they are polar opposites.

Ed is the hard-headed and temperamental one, Reader is the one who keeps the peace and has a hard time even correcting when they give them the wrong food.

They balance each other in many ways.

However, Reader is definitely what one would consider soft by nature, so Ed himself has developed certain protective tendencies towards them.

The typical thing is to react more than them when someone makes them feel bad/insults them, encouraging them to take repercussions, etc.

Ed has enough anger for both of them.

I imagine that although Ed already knew that the reader had a twin, he had not really seen then due to work issues/they being in another division in Amestris.

However, Reader and he exchanged several anecdotes about their families, including those of their sibilings.

and Ed is definitely happy to know that there is someone else in the reader's life who protects them when he is not there (especially if the reader is a civilian who doesn't know about alchemy).

However, when the mix-up incident occurs, it definitely catches Ed off guard.

I imagine that Ed and the reader were planning to meet at the Amestris barracks, but it just coincided with the arrival of the reader's twin for some work matters.

When Ed started looking for the reader and ran into their, he was MORE than confused.

Reader? What are they doing in an alchemist's uniform? Since when? Isn't it too early? Why are they looking at him like that?

When Ed goes to ask the "reader" directly, he ends up encountering a cold and powerful: "Do I know you?"

TWIN FINISHED IT..

Ed would try to maintain his composure and try to ask questions but at the same time he NEVER saw the reader looking at him so coldly, he almost feels intimidated, like he was in trouble...

Fortunately for everyone, the real reader came to Ed's rescue.

and not only that, but also to greet their twin.

Ed saw with horror how the twin's face changed COMPLETELY when they was talking to the reader, a literal 180 degree turn.

Ed didn't seem to want to give him the time of day, and with the reader they were already catching up, laughing and chatting.

He definitely leave it like that🤯

I think Ed and Twin could get along well...in terms of work. If there is a mission that depends on them, then they will do everything possible to get along.

Outside of that... difficult.

On the one hand, they both can't stand each other (which is ironic considering they have very similar personalities) and constantly compete for the reader's attention.

It's like a game of tug of war. They are both super clingy and see the other as a sudden invader of their time with the reader.

Although Ed will definitely leave Twin and the reader alone when they are exclusively family days, it's like an unwritten rule (just like Twin doesn't get involved in dating).

They try to keep aggression at bay when the reader is present, because after all they don't want to make her angry or, God forbid, cry.

It's like a cold war.

Ed also continues to appreciate Twin's contributions to the reader's self-esteem. At least they have a good common topic to get along with.

Alphonse Elric

Bby boy baby

Al and reader are definitely like the opposite of Ed and his reader, mostly because they both fall more on the shy spectrum. It's just that Al is more social and less reserved.

Although that doesn't mean he has it easy, I can see him and the reader having problems in situations like when they bring them the wrong food and they both silently accept the order🤣 or at least try to help the other by removing what they don't like (this obviously after Al already has his body).

Al is the one who does most of the talking, he's used to it, apart from the fact that he wouldn't feel comfortable letting the reader talk knowing that they make themselves uncomfortable.

Since he can't sleep, get tired or eat while in the armor, I can definitely see him carrying the reader everywhere and being their personal shield:3 both from the danger and the world in general.

They also both LOVE animals and on more than one occasion he and the reader ALMOST get away with taking some kittens (thanks Ed..)

In general, Al is super sweet with the reader and has infinite patience with them.

He knows about the reader's family and especially their twin. Al tends to compare several of their misadventures with those of him and Ed (on a smaller scale) and he even finds it cute that the reader is so attached to their sibiling.

Continuing with the fact that the reader is not an alchemist, Alphonse is happy to know that there is someone in the reader's life who protects them both physically and emotionally.

He's probably more curious about this twin than Ed, and already knows in advance that Reader and their twin are practically identical, but Al is convinced that it can't be that bad.

That is, of course, until we get to the incident.

Probably in Alphonse's case, he ran into twin while they were a civilian, which made it even more difficult to tell them apart.

Al saw Twin in the distance and thought it was his partner, so, like the sweetheart he is, he went to greet them and give them a metallic hug!

When Twin started screaming and even going so far as to hit him, poor Al was SO confused.

Did he take them by surprise? Are they angry? Why the violence!?

Since he is not used to seeing the reader shouting so loudly, not even with a frown, that image will definitely stay in his head for life.

When Reader arrived, Alphonse was so happy to see that they were still as shy and friendly as ever, he probably even hid behind them (as ridiculous as it was considering the size of the armor) to escape Twin's wrath.

Al and Twin get along surprisingly well, mostly because while Al has an intimidating exterior, Twin realizes that he is a softie because of their twin, so they trusts him more than Ed.

but it doesn't mean that they have the same level of patience for him that they have for Reader, rather they don't have any tolerance EXCEPT for reader😅 poor Al..

There's also the issue of Al being, well, AN ARMOR for much of the series, so Twin is understandably worried about how this relationship might work (or how CERTAIN ASPECTS of it work...)

Although if we're talking about full-bodied Al, I can definitely see Twin being much more patient and understanding, hell, even helping him recover from going without food for so many years.

and by the time Al fully recovers, you could say that he and twin are friends. and which twin is more open to receiving it into the family.

All in all, he's doing better than Ed🤣.

Ling Yao

Tbh it's the less surprised about it, but not less funny to see.

For the sake of my sanity and the meaning of this scenario, let's say that Ling's partner is from Xing and probably stayed there when he left in search of immortality.

Ling may have met the reader through some clan, on his own, etc. but definitely from the beginning he naturally gravitated towards them because of their reserved and friendly personality.

They are like opposite poles in a more discreet way. Ling is super social and has no problem defending himself (or others) while Reader was much quieter and barely raised their voice.

Ling made it her personal goal to help the reader be more honest and so they began dating seriously.

Ling definitely falls into the category of clingy partner, especially physically.

especially with reader because he finds their shy reactions super adorable!

He also laughs a little at their exaggerated expressions when they are embarrassed, or when they turn very red.

Although he definitely does not make fun of them, he does everything in good faith and thus his partner gains more trust! He will definitely kick the ass of anyone who makes the reader cry.

Considering that the Xingense culture is based on the Chinese, I can imagine that Ling has already met the reader's family in the past, at least their parents to have permission to "court" their child.

and Ling is also very aware of the dislike that the reader's family may feel towards him. more than anything because of what would happen if he became emperor.

I can see the reader's twin believing that it is not a good idea to date Ling solely and exclusively because of the tradition of the children of each clan, they does not want their sibiling to be left with a broken heart because of something they cannot control.

So, when Twin formally meets Ling, it's not very pleasant.

Ling is the only one who doesn't technically confuse reader and twin, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't have something to say about it (to lighten the tense atmosphere).

-"Wow! (reader) told me that you guys look alike but it's like seeing you in a mirror!"

something like that, he is partly surprised to see them in person side by side, but definitely not as much as the others.

and the only thing he gains is a loud SCOFF before twin walks away from him and reader, shuffling their feet.

Ling knows he didn't do anything wrong, but this is probably the first time "diplomacy" has bothered/distress him.

Of the three, Ling is the one who has the hardest time earning, at the very least, the respect of a twin. not because I don't try! but because twin has the typical Xingense standards.

I mean, Twin not only dislikes the idea of what will happen to Reader once he becomes emperor, but he believes that he is committing themself to someone who is not worth it.

And Ling left in search of inmortality(in Twin eyes, an ABSURD quest), it's like giving green light to these thoughs.

Fortunately, when Ling returns, apart from becoming emperor, he also manages (partially) to close Twin's mouth!

first of all, abolishing the law of marriage (that of the children of each clan, let me be happy) and he appears genuinely more mature than before, to the surprise of twin.

Before, Twin simply saw him as a bum, a scoundrel who happened to captivate his brother and who was lucky enough to be royalty.

but now, seeing everything he had done for Xing, for a foreign country, and that he still always came back to reader...you could say that speaking the heart of a twin.

They don't get along at all. Ling and twin definitely shouldn't be left in a room alone for more than 5 minutes (unless you want them to tear each other's throats out), but Ling KNOWS that twin does everything out of love.

and boy does he understand it. So, for now, they are fine.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

[daily-hanamura]

Do you ever think about how Chie (and Yukiko iirc?) have both previously called Yosuke a disappointment, meaning they were, albeit in part, one of the reasons for his low self esteem

Obviously they didn't do it on purpose, since Yosuke always tries to act like those words don't phase him, always acting like he's very confident

But I wonder, if he were to ever open up to them and start showing his more sensitive side in general, how would the girls react? Like would they feel a bit guilty or something?

Many thoughts... many very, very disorganized thoughts......

Oooooh yeah I do indeed think about this, and apart from Chie and Yukiko, Teddie has also described Yosuke as a "prince of disappointment"/"everyone's favourite disappointment"

Yosuke, of course, also being the one that calls himself a disappointment the most.

So this is just my perspective based on my life experience, but I think that to some extent, it very much reflects the kind of humour that was very pervasive around that time. As a millennial it's pretty typical for friends to rib into each other as banter (see also Yosuke to Kanji) and to employ self-deprecation as a joke, and it's kind of a mark of friendship -- you really only do that to people that you're very close friends with, because it's about in-group jokes (e.g. Chie can call Yosuke a disappointment, but that random classmate can't) and a reflection of just how well you know a person.

It's kind of complicated to talk about because I'm not saying that it was necessarily good, since it can be quite insensitive if you're not conscious of someone's personal issues. And some people definitely don't enjoy that sort of humour, because it's also highly, highly contextual and easy to misread. Some bullies also use that as a justification for why they're saying mean things, which is especially unpleasant in the workplace LOL. I feel like as I've gotten older this has become less common? Or maybe I'm just not as comfortable with the friends I've made in adulthood to want to readily rip into them? But then again I have maybe three friends I'm willing to banter like this with and we've been close friends for about a decade, which I think kind of drives home the point I'm making about how this is the kind of joke you only make with people that you've been through a lot with, which the IT are. I think it's humour that's meaningful in the narrative context because it's a signpost that indicates their shared experience in the TV world was no trivial thing, just like how Yosuke calling Yu "aibou" reflects the same sentiment.

But, as you said, because of how Yosuke puts on an act of confidence, I don't think most people pick up on it other than Yu, because Chie, Yukiko and Teddie probably just think it's part of the bit that Yosuke is doing (Yosuke also refuses to show his weaknesses to anyone other than Yu, but that's probably another conversation). One of the weaker spots of P4/G (and P5), I feel, is that it isn't as revealing about the interpersonal relationships between characters outside of the protag character. Which I don't really expect, but it was really nice to see in P3. So all we have to go on is the spin offs, and I think if we compare Chie and Yukiko's distanced friendliness with Yosuke in the Magician manga vs their expression of reliance and dependence on Yosuke in P4AU, for example, we can see that developed dynamic.

Would they feel guilty? Probably, but they're also teenagers who are still figuring out interpersonal interactions and personal boundaries (and this goes for Yosuke as well), and I think this friction is sometimes just part and parcel of growing up. I do think that if Chie and Yukiko realise that Yosuke does have a sore spot about it they'd change the way they speak with him because they genuinely care about him, especially as they mature into adulthood.

Going a little off tangent now and this is just my headcanon, but I also wonder if Yosuke initiated that sort of humour with Chie and Yukiko shortly after their rescue to help them relax. Yosuke likes to use humour to diffuse tension (which doesn't always work) but it's not hard to imagine him sensing awkwardness from the two of them (they really weren't close friends at all prior to the TV world), so he makes himself the butt of a joke to get them to laugh, and when they latch on to it he's actually kind of happy because it means he's done something useful. (ngl ever since I saw Tamami's clown motif stage in p4d I have not stopped thinking about her parallels with Yosuke)

[sinimake]

So I was on the bus on my way home from work and since I had 1h to stare into the void I suddenly got an idea and I need to scream about it.

You know that bit in the intros where Kenshi says "Suchin wants me back?!" or something like that (almost launched myself into space ahahhah fck my Johnshi heart).

So anyways. Imagine if you please a setting where Johnshi is (of course, obviously) head over heels, deeply enamorated with each other BUT. Johnny thinks it's not reciprocated (perhaps it's his self-esteem issues? Love me some softly insecure Johnny fight me). Kenshi? What if he knows about, not only how he feels, but also about Johnny's feelings? But he doesn't do anything bc the whole thing about fighting the Yakuza? Or perhaps they both are unware bc why not. Choose your brand of angst.

And then, *that* conversation with Liu Kang happens. And perhaps Johnny is there. Or perhaps he just happens to hear something accidentally. Sad ensues bc Kenshi has told him of Suchin ("amazing woman, one of a kind") so of course now that he has almost pull free his family from the Yakuza is the best time to rekindle that love.

And perhaps they both go to Japan and meet her (maybe she is actively helping Kenshi against the Yakuza?). And yeah. She is pretty amazing and badass and clearly she and Kenshi care for each other. And Johnny gets angstier and sadder than a wet cat.

But once all it's done you get the cliché scene where Johnny says something like "you must be happy, now that your family is free you can start anew with Suchin". But surprise surprise, Kenshi finally gets what's going on (or he just pulls his head out of his ass or whatever flavour of angst you chose) and explains that while he does care about Suchin a lot, those feelings belong to the past and he has someone else holding his heart (or some poetic stuff idk).

So. Bottom of the line. Is this me screaming at the idea of seeing Johnny's insecurities being developed and let him almost drown on a swamp of self-deprecation while Kenshi is so deeply enamorated and quietly caring about him? Possibly yes. Most definitely so. Sorry it got so long 😶‍🌫️

Yoowww, a question: do you read my mind? Bc i was thinking exactly the same. We think so much alike 🤯

I was thinking back on intro dailogues of Johnny and Kenshi where NRS tried to deny the homo allegations with them mentioning Suchin and persumed Sonya. I was thinking that exact line of "Suchin wants me back?" and i was like 👀.

I really love Assumed Unrequited Feelings and i love your idea ♥️♥️ amazing angst potential ♥️ and love triangle??? Hello?? Delicious 😋

[astroyongie]

Angel Work: Introduction and Hierarchy - The Seraphims

Angels are powerful spiritual beings, that can accompany us and guide us through our spiritual life on Earth. We may find angels mainly on monotheist religions such as Christianity, Judaism and even Islam. 

The Kabbalah was the first religious text where Angels are spoken of. There’s 72 angels regrouped in 9 families. Each of these families is headed by a specific Archangel.

This post as a purpose for you to learn more about Angels. While reading through it, you may find and connect with some of them. I would advice for you to choose a family first and then one angel to start your working. But really, listen to your gut and allow their energy to flow through you. 

This trend will have 9 parts, for each family: Seraphims, Cherubins, Thrones, Dominations, Powers, Virtues, Principalities, Archangels and Angels. 

Family 1 - The Seraphim, lead by Archangel Metatron 

- The Seraphim family are considered as the most powerful. You can call upon them whenever you're facing a particular blockage (any kind, spiritual, love or financial), if you feel overwhelmed by negative feelings or need to regain hope. Their power help on purifying, on helping healing old deep wounds and to open new doors in different domains. 

-  Metatron: From his name Metatron “the one who sits beside God”, the archangel is the most powerful one, the supreme spiritual being that holds the knowledge of spirituality and wisdom 

-  Vehuiah

Magic Color: yellow and magenta 

Emotion: Willingness

Mirror Hour: 00h00

Work With: Changing - Handling emotions - Help with moods 

Angel Of: Audacity, Changement 

Their Energy: Has a lot of power when it comes to love, to those who work with them develop a strong power of seduction, Vehuiah is described as brighful energy with a white dress. Vehuiah helps when it comes to transformation, to proceed with no fear or anguish

-  Jeliel

Magic Color:  Red and pale blue

Emotion: Love

Mirror Hour: 00h01

Work With: Helping self esteem - With love relationships - Arguments that need healing

Angel Of: Love, Loyalty and Fecundity 

Their Energy: Jeliel comes to help those who lose hope and need its comfort. They are a savior and a reconfirming friend, who helps finding the right person and soulmates. They have only love and compassion as their energy. 

-  Sitaël

Magic Color: violet 

Emotion: Construction 

Mirror Hour: 00h02

Work With: success in social life - responsibilities - rebirth 

Angel Of: Realization, Hope and Truth 

Their Energy: This angel works through kindness and generosity.They will help those who work with him gain success in their social life to the price of being kind and helping the earth in return  

- Elemiah

Magic Color: Violet and Golden 

Emotion: Power

Mirror Hour: 01h01

Work With: Professional projects - Professional development - Creativity 

Angel Of: Strength, Bravery and Success  

Their Energy: Elemiah is very close to those who work with them, they love the flower Lilac and it’s scent. They are soft and they like soft and kind prayers. They are a strong patron and they are always here to give light during the dark moments and to enlighten us with new visions 

- Mahasiah

Magic Color: Green and Indigo 

Emotion: Rectification 

Mirror Hour: 01h10 

Work With: Forgiveness - Health - Good luck in exams 

Angel Of: Peace, Reconciliation and Learning 

Their Energy: Mehasiah is so strong that he is able to solve conflicts and issues through small prayers to him. He is a hot bright energy capable to stop conflicts and battles. He is a good protective angel as well. 

- Lelahel

Magic Color: Green and Magenta

Emotion: Divine Light 

Mirror Hour: 01h11

Work With: Healing - New Meetings - Generosity 

Angel Of: Emotional and Physical healing, Harmony and Happiness

Their Energy: Lelahel purifies everything that they touch, their prayers is powerful for purifying from bad energies and for good health. Lalehel loves music. They protect the heart and the soul

- Achaiah

Magic Color: Silver and Purple

Emotion: Patience 

Mirror Hour: 02h02

Work With: Spiritual awakening - Novelty in professional life - Revolts 

Angel Of: Wisdom, Patience and Protection 

Their Energy: Achaiah works with patience, so it gives you what you needs in the rightful time. They help with developing your inner intelligence and protects you from jealousy. Very protective of children 

- Catethel

Magic Color: Silver and Orange 

Emotion: Benediction

Mirror Hour: 02h20

Work With: Good news - Nature - Efforts - Pregnancy 

Angel Of: Abondance, Harvest and Creation

Their Energy: Catethel energy is strong when it comes to protect one self, our family and people we love dearly. He also purifies and destroys bad energies, a true light inside the darkness. He works with a lot of gratitude 

[dadcred]

okay so. ive got a lot of thoughts about usopp and his “negativity” with regards to his fight against perona during thriller bark and his subsequent timeskip character development.

keep in mind that this is based on the english dub of the anime, and there very well could be totally different implications in jpn/english subs, though tbh i’d be kinda sad if this were the case because i think there’s a lot of depth to explore (which is exactly what i’m attempting to do here.)

so the entire idea behind usopp’s immunity to perona’s negative ghosts is that he’s an inherently “negative” person, so he can’t be made “more negative” so to speak. and throughout this whole bit, they keep interchanging “negativity” with “pessimism.” ex: when zoro, franky, and sanji are running away from that fight, zoro says something like “i never thought usopp’s pessimism would come in handy.”

and i found that really interesting because i wasn’t aware until then that usopp was meant to be so extremely pessimistic apparently. yes, he’s a coward who is reluctant to face his fears (he’s not unique in this, see: the coward trio). yes, he gets anxious about the worst outcomes (tho he’s not the one actually identifying or voicing the worst case scenarios in many cases). yes, he harbors doubts about his own capabilities (arguably the only thing here unique to him). but none of this is “pessimism.” that is to say, “pessimism” is erroneously used as a synonym for “negativity” when in fact “negativity” is an incredibly broad concept under which “pessimism” is a subset. and based on negative ghosts’ actual effects on characters, we know that they do way more than just suddenly make a person a glass-half-empty kinda guy.

my thesis here is that the term that better describes the kind of negativity that the ghosts impose on people is “depression,” in which case, the only way usopp can be immune is if he’s already depressed. and substituting that with “pessimism” instead allows us as the audience to be more okay with the fact that the narrative never goes back and interrogates what is a serious claim of a character’s mental health. i’m not bothered by this—it’s a shounen anime after all—but i DO love exploring this line of thought because of the insight it provides on usopp’s character.

first, let’s go back to what perona’s negative ghosts actually do. their effect has been described as “draining your will to live” and “making your heart empty”. when characters get hit by a negative ghost, they’ll lose all their drive and say things like “i’m no better than a dog,” “i just want to be a clam” and stuff like that (i’m paraphrasing). and neither those descriptions nor effects remotely resemble “pessimism.” having little to no will to live or just do much of anything, feeling empty and hopeless, having self esteem issues, wanting to erase the complexities of your humanity to exist as a base organism: those are all textbook symptoms of depression.

meaning, in order for usopp to be completelt immune to the negative ghosts, he doesn’t just have to be a pessimist. he’d have to have little to no willpower or motivation. he’d have to think so lowly of himself that it’s impossible to hate himself further. and water 7 showed us a glimpse of that: we know he has ambition—he wants to become a brave warrior of the sea—but we also know after water 7 that, compared to the other straw hats, he views his ambition as a nice-to-have pipe dream and not one that he has what it takes to achieve.

but thriller bark is implying this runs much much deeper than just self doubt that sprang up over the course of his travels with the straw hats. he’d have to be so empty inside that there’s no hope left for the ghosts to feed on.

and while that might seem overexaggerated for the purposes of this ability because, again, it’s a shounen anime and these implications start feeling uncomfortable the more you consider them, there is one line that affirms that the above really might all be true about usopp: when everyone realizes usopp is immune to the ghosts, zoro, in disbelief, asks, “is his heart really that empty?”

personally, i don’t think there’s any sugarcoating that. (and tbh between this and zoro later ruminating on how usopp’s depression came in handy in a fight, i’m glad at least one character acknowledged that that’s a little fucked up and worrying actually.)

so yeah, usopp’s depressed! and on god, i didn’t think it was possible to love him anymore than i do, but this bit of thriller bark made me love him infinitely more because goddamn that’s so relatable. we constantly have these narratives of “wow we never knew xyz was depressed they never let on” and i personally thunk that’s bullshit because unless someone is exhibiting a completely nonfunctional lifestyle, we assume that they can’t really be that depressed. as a high functioning person w anxiety/depression/adhd/ptsd, i was denied diagnosis and treatment for years bc i wasnt glued to my bed, getting bad grades, isolated, and/or on the verge of offing myself. this isn’t the main point i’m trying to make as much as it is a tangent, but seeing a character like usopp, who i at the very least consider the heart of the straw hats, also be depressed guy just tryna stay afloat everyday despite all the nothingness and self hate inside made my heart really full.

which then brings me to post timeskip, where his development in this realm is addressed outright in that battle in fishman island arc against the little hole digging gremlin. that guy consistently taunts usopp with everything usopp once harbored major insecurities about, and usopp not only remains unfazed, but explicitly refutes those taunts by saying that stuff no longer bothers him. the idea being that he gained a lot of self confidence over those two years. and as all my mentally ill lads know, that’s not fuckin easy when your brain’s been working against you for so long. self confidence is the result of developing and practicing a lot of healthy coping mechanisms to manage and live with your depression.

now i hesitate to credit oda and the shounen genre in general with having meant all this to be as deep as i’m interpreting it. but intentional or not, i’m overwhelmed with emotions whenever i consider usopp’s character because who gives a shit about his physical strength and abilities and whether or not they’re on par with everyone else’s when his real buff is hard earned mental fortitude and self confidence??

all of that is to say, i have a lot of love for usopp and i guess most people arent into shounen for the complexities of character writing, but personally i think your taste is questionable at best if this bit about usopp’s character doesn’t intrigue and impress you in any way. that’s all.

[eos0anemone]

Late-diagnosed autism - Vent

I think one of the hardest things of being a late-diagnosed autistic person and not having had good profesionals and the correct information, is the shift at how you see and manage life, and what you expect from it - especially as a woman.

I'm very harsh at myself, and I do feel sorrow and hopelesness from time to time because I'm still getting used to the fact that I can't live the same way I did 3 years before collapsing. I was an excellent student, almost graduated with honors. Nowadays, I'm in online college, stuck at home and with a lot of difficulties.

The transition from behaving and living like a neurotypical to being fair with your needs as an autistic girl is hard. It is accepting your reality as a disabled individual, after a lot of years trying so hard to ignore it.

I still struggle, but those are some of the changes I did/experienced:

-More sleep than before (used to rest 6.5-7 hours, now I need +8 hours and a lot more decompression time, doing less things during the day).

-Keeping my hair shorter for sensory issues and convenience.

-I struggle with hygiene a lot :( The days I can't bare myself to enter the shower, I wash my hair and clean my armpits in the bathroom faucet.

-Also struggle with shaving, stopped shaving a lot of body parts.

-I wear more comfortable clothing (no bra, T-shirts, long skirts, tracksuit pants, etc) than I did before, but still keeping my own personal style.

-Stopped using makeup, because it was genuinely uncomfortable.

-Having to give up on styles I like, cosplay, travelling and other activities I enjoy due to my disability.

-Can't go to the gym anymore. I lost all my muscle and lost almost 10 kg due to problems digesting food.

-Focusing on my classes and doing homework has become an almost impossible task. My boyfriend encourages me daily to do it at my pace, but it is so hard.

-I almost never leave the house, which I try to correct, but my surroundings are horrible.

-Lost contact with a lot of friends and colleagues I had at school, especially because I feel like an imposter due to my masking.

-I developed my critical thinking beyond the ties my neurotypical peers indirectly imposed me. I'm proud of this.

-Explosive meltdowns and lots of crying...

-Still learning how to interact with others without masking.

-I sometimes have problems with my self-esteem. Since I can't work almost any job nor I can live a 'normal life', sometimes I feel as if I had less value than others.

Considering I'm one of the lucky ones, with parents who can afford therapy, a very supportive mother, a wonderful partner and a good friend whom I can trust (even long distance) it is still a hellish process. I wish I would have started unmasking a long time before, because after collapsing, autism has gotten a lot worse for me.

This is the end of the post, I will return tomorrow with more things to say.

[mbti-notes]

Hey, hope you are doing well ! I had a question concerning one issue i’m dealing with.

I’m a 19yo ENFJ. In the ENFJ ego development article, i recognize myself when it’s say « you imagining being criticized ». I’ve noticed that when i’m sharing an opinion, when i’m expressing my feelings, or when i let someone know that i didn’t like something they did to me, i imagine them saying like the worst things to me and i get angry, defensive, as if they really did. Lately it has gotten a little better because when it starts, i’m able to tell myself that it is all in my mind, that i can’t tell that they will react like this, that it won’t help to assume the worse, that those people would never do me like that. But it’s still is really stressful and overwhelming. Any tips to manage it and understand it better ?

You seem to be referring to underlying self-esteem and self-worth issues that are common for FJs, so I suggest you read past posts. As explained in the Type Dev guide, the key to personality development lies in the auxiliary function. It provides introverted balance to extraverts (as well as extraverted balance to introverts).

To be an "immature" ENFJ basically means Fe+Se often run away into extremes because there is no introverted counterbalancing force. Such ENFJs only know to define people's identity or measure their worth through external appearances. As long as you can maintain the appearance of being a good person through obtaining momentary praise from others, then you're really a good person? As long as you can maintain the appearance of harmony by submitting to others and denying the disharmony you feel within, then your relationships are really strong? Proper auxiliary Ni development should help counter this superficial way of thinking.

Do you live your life as though you're always performing? Is the way you behave in front of others the entirety of who you are? Is there nothing inside you that exists independently from how others perceive you? If you're constantly allowing others to define and measure you, you will suffer from insecurity, since your feelings about yourself will shift with every little change in the social winds.

Developing introverted functions involves forming a stronger sense of self with a solid personal boundary, and possessing inner substance that others don't always see and can't touch. As such, your opinion about yourself should matter just as much, if not more than outside opinions. An important aspect of ego development is learning how to be an independent individual, to stand on your own two feet and stand up for yourself as necessary. Of course, you can learn to advocate for yourself in a way that produces as little harm to others as possible, e.g., by improving your communication skills or conflict resolution skills.

The purpose of Ni+Ti development is to connect with the whole truth. It sounds like the root of your problem is that you don't operate on truth but merely on insecurity. The consequence of caring more about surface appearances than underlying truth is that you won't know the truth of who you are, and your naivete makes you gullible and susceptible to any and every attempt by others to influence you (for good or bad). But when you value the truth above all else and know how to connect to the whole truth of who you are, the words of others will only matter to you to the extent that they are truthful.

[adviceformefromme]

I’m bi, and I’ve never dated anyone. It’s starting to bother me now that I’m entering my mid 20s, I feel bitter over relationships and seeing ppl I know date. I’ve never had it work out for me, dating apps have been terrible and those I met in person too. It doesn’t help that I’m in a smaller town. My parents were toxic/borderline abusive and they have taken a huge toll on my self esteem/worth issues and I have spent years self sabotaging due to their destructive words and behavior. Now that I’ve mostly gotten over it however, this dating stuff has been a new thing that’s taken over my mind, and made me feel unloved, and like there’s something wrong. But I don’t want to feel this way anymore, I want to be content with myself, even if I don’t date in the next couple of years. I have goals I want to focus on anyway, but this has been plaguing me. How to I love myself and not base my worth off of others lack of romantic interest in me? Thank you ♥️

Hey sweetie, thanks for sharing this. There seems to be some deeper healing required to remove the blockages preventing you from accessing the love that's available to you. Love is not defined by romantic relationships, and all of it is possible for you. Small town or not..Here are some suggestions:

1] I would recommend time each day for reflections and self-love. This is your time. No distractions from the world, no phone - put it on flight mode. This is your time with you. To connect with your heart. You can use this time I recommend 1 hour but maybe start with 10-30 mins at first if that feels too much. You can journal in this time. Writing really helps release what's inside. Remember we are in-and-out beings. So all those pains and suppressions from the past need to come out so you can be free. You can also do guided meditation from YouTube, read a book on self development. This is your time for growth each day. If you are serious about wanting to change, you will need to dedicate time to watering yourself, and this is in the form of your daily practise.

2] Take inventory and changes to what you are consuming. Music and social media, tv etc are all influencing our thoughts and energy on a subconscious and conscious level. What are the vibrations of what you are consuming? Is it low frequency? Have you been absorbed in the news, war, politics? Murder docu-series on Netflix? All this stuff is polluting your energy. What about music? Is it depressive, take note of the lyrics. What about social media? Is it making you feel depressed seeing yet another friend marry the love of their life? Social media will keep you in the gutter to. You are responsible for protecting your energy so if you have dreams and goals you need to ensure your mind is operating at its optimal level. Not consumed by the problems of the world. So you have to make changes. Go on a detox. No social media. No news, No TV. No music. Allow space for healing, allow space for truth to flow into your mind. Once you remove the distractions I promise you, you'll start to slowly hear your truth. Love will start to enter into you, as a reflection of the love you are investing into yourself.

xoxox