#stupid little doomed objects

[rottkitt]

hey so what if the dead contestants can actually see/hear what’s happening but are like ghosts. not in the bow sense, but in the stereotypical “no one can see, hear, or feel me or my presence” type of way

would that mean pickle has to watch taco having a mental breakdown and crying when he dies? is he just there watching her mourn? staying in the room with his body as much as she can? grieving his death? and he’s just watching?????? like. i’m going. fucking insane over this chat. what if pickle. wh. HGGHRHRRRR HRRFFFF

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Rating Non-Zelink and Non-BotW Link Ships in Legend of Zelda Games because they don't get enough love

Malink; Malon x Link: Adorable and somewhat canon depending on who you think TP Link's parents are and what timeline shenanigans you subscribe to. Link's first non-Kokiri friend turning into his soulmate is cute and finding peace after the craziness of OoT is beautiful. Also, Malon is cute as a button. 11/10, love you, funky Horsegirl.

Ilia x Link: Pretty good but feels too much like a reskin of Malink to be really fun. People give Ilia grief for freaking out about Epona but it really isn't fucking deserved. Girl get's done dirty by the narrative and the fandom and she deserves better. Also, memory loss and falling in love all over again is absolute peak. 9/10, you deserve better, baby.

Marin x Link: A child's first taste of tragic ending and hot girls being doomed by the narrative. Very child friendly "Calypso and Odysseus" feel to this one. Still, Marin is absolutely adorable and the idea of falling in love with a literal dream is heartbreaking. 10/10, would cry like a little kid again.

Link x Ruto: Okay, hear me out, this one isn't terrible. Ruto's chld-like crush on the guy who saved her life is pretty cute and being a haughty teenager about it is pretty funny. Also, she understands they can't be together, and sends him off with her love and good wishes, which is surprisingly mature of her. I'm just saying, Ruto isn't the weirdo people make her out to be. 7/10, it still feels like entrapment

Midlink; Midna x Link: TOP TIER! BEST OF THE BEST! ABSOLUTE PEAK ROMANCE! Romeo and Juliet style star-crossed lovers from literal opposing sides of reality. Allies of convenience to friends to soulmates?! PEAK! Adorable evil goblin design for most of the game and then complete knockout reveal at the end?! ROMANCE DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE?! PEAK, I TELL YOU! PEAK! (Also I headcannon that because Midna looks like a Hylian she's considered ugly by Twili standards so Link finding her beautiful warms her heart). 20/10, best ship, best girl, best love story.

Ganlink; Ganondorf x Link: Objectively the funniest Legend of Zelda ship in existence and I will take no arguments on that. Destined enemies giving the middle finger to fate and falling in love instead? Amazing. Ganondorf hates every minute of it but he's also the happiest he's ever been with this stupid twink and he hates that too. 10/10, something something the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.

Link x Zant: Objectively hilarious as Link is seducing his enemies into submission yet again, like any self-respecting bard, but this one feels a little too Batman x Joker like for my liking. I really ship Zant x Therapy but Midna watching her rival give up his conquering ambitions for a twink is objectively hilarious. 8/10, not great but not bad.

Got others you want me to rate? Let me know! Or better yet, rate them yourself and I'll tell you if I agree or not.

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

I really liked that one ask from before where the MC paired up with an NRC boy to do the flour baby project, could I ask for a repeat of that but with Silver, Vil, Floyd, Idia, and Ortho?

Floyd Leech:

You cannot leave your flour baby alone with Floyd as it will be in harm's way; he convinced you of this even more when he began talking about survival of the fittest, and his other siblings that never made it through the gauntlet. It practically feels like Floyd is the one you’re really looking after, especially when your attention leaves him for even a second as you tried to focus on the baby. You think the teacher must hold a grudge against you to put you in this situation but you’re determined to turn him into a father figure (and you might die trying).

Idia Shroud:

Idia wished the school would get with the times and just give a game simulation type project rather than making him lug around a flour sack in a diaper all day. It was like a Magikarp holding an Everstone, doomed to stay in its useless state forever. It almost led him to an existential crisis as he had a nightmare of himself turning in a bag of flour, never able to enjoy trolling online or flexing how much smarter he was when it came to technology ever again. You do help ground him (and perhaps add a different stress) by being closer with him, this surprise event giving him the perfect excuse to spend time with you despite the flour sack in the room.

Ortho Shroud:

Ortho doesn’t get the point of the assignment as the sack of flour could never properly simulate taking care of a real child. He’s excited to do this project with you thought, listing off every parenting tip he could find until you practically thought you were in a reality where you were pregnant (regardless of how capable of that you really were). He’s fiercely protective of his flour baby, glaring (and nearly vaporizing) an innocent school chef who mistook his baby as a misplaced bag of flour. Ortho even offered up a tearful goodbye, keeping his fond memories of raising his baby with you locked away somewhere safe where he’d never forget.

Silver:

Silver takes the project seriously, but his sleep prone habits leave you a little worried your sweet flour child may be kidnapped by a group of birds and never seen again. He dutifully keeps it strapped to him while patrolling, sometimes even forgetting it's there as he questions why everyone keeps looking at him. This project is your first glance at the sweeter side of Silver, leaving you enamored with a man who showed genuine kindness and care to even an inanimate object.

Vil Schoenheit:

Vil loathed the thought of lugging flour around all day, not thrilled with the concept it might dirty his uniform at some point. He’s not about to get a failing grade either, showing a determination to glam his baby up. You mostly follow his lead on this one for the sake of his happiness and your sanity, knowing he wouldn’t go too far. You almost found the small dog outfits he put on your flour sack child cute. It’s like they were having their own father/child bonding time, with Vil even showing them his favorite films to share a little moment together (before he felt entirely too stupid and tried to forget about it).

[xxnashiraxx]

WIP Whenever 🩸

@khywren tagged, and so I shall heed the call. 😌

I'm way too excited to leave all this angst behind- so much, that I'm halfway done with Chapter 20! And it's going to be a TREAT 😏

Here's a little snippet for everyone!

On one hand… it’s almost enough. Something’s missing- his words are pretty, but still… lacking. It’s nothing more than a feeling- one she can’t quite put a name to as it flits, elusive, just outside her periphery. When she looks at him, she tries to search for it in his eyes, swallowed by the darkness that eclipses his claret irises. Her heartbeat thunders in her ears, a deafening roar that tries to drown her insight with tantalizing images of his lips on her skin, siphoning salvation from her artery like a man at the altar. It clouds every space in between, leaving her leaning slightly forward, hair falling behind her shoulder. “I want to start over,” He repeats his earlier appeal, lids drifting softly, crowding into her space with barely an inclination of his head. “My name is Astarion. I’m a vampire from Baldur’s Gate.” The spell lapses for a moment, and she snorts. “Nice to meet you,” “Stupid,” She mutters, though she can’t hide the smile trying to break free. Either she’s the fool, doomed to repeat her mistakes over and over, or he is. And if it’s the latter, he’ll be sorry. But not now… now she’ll reclaim that crown to a kingdom of ignorance- population one. “I’m Ofelia,” She says, breath catching when his fingers cover hers, mooring her to the stone beneath and keeping her from drifting off. “I’m not from Toril… and I’m possessed.” His lips twitch, trying to cover his amusement. “Hope that’s okay,” “More than, darling,” She cradles him in her eyes, oblivious to the powerlessness of her hold over him. It burrows like shrapnel, creeping closer and closer to ending his tireless charade- one she too knows nothing of… Though she’d tried to latch onto it, now it slips through her fingers into obscurity- buried where even he hopes he won’t find it. Maybe… it’ll never see the light of day again- maybe, they can both share her throne. Together. “Drink,” She petitions, more of a declaration than a question. He spares her from further objection, rising to his knees to tower over her. It’s as if she can see the moon behind him again, blue flora illuminating him with ethereal silver. “Like this?” He questions, hands hovering over her shoulders in an impression of laying her back. She shakes her head, unwilling to fully relive the experience, before turning completely from him. If… they try something different, maybe she won’t linger on memories that now hide away from the light he’s relit within. “Behind me,” She murmurs, feeling him settle around her to pull her close. A thousand emotions bubble up through her skin, flooding the surface in gooseflesh and stilted anticipation. She feels almost trapped, yet at the same time freed- the blade reflecting her acceptance and willingness to help him while flashing the side of hesitance and fear for what he may say or do in the future… The sharp edge of her wariness to trust again, coupled with her desire to surrender to it. Give in, give in, give in… But that’s how she got into this predicament in the first place. “Astarion,” A bitter taste, settling at the back of her tongue, and she sucks a breath in when he brushes the hair over her shoulder to expose the right side of her neck. “Make it hurt.”

No pressure tagging my beloveds (you can ignore if you've already been tagged in these the last couple days! I'm trying to narrow my list and not be genuinely unhinged with tags): @pinkberrytea @caffeinatedmunchkin @andromedaancunin @bby-bel-art @nerdallwritey @lanafofana @vividiana @heylittleriotact @inkymoonbunny @roguishcat @obsessedwhyyes @bloodinwine @hellethil @verbenaa @alwaysmauria @deadly-diminuendo @marlowethebard

[tokiro07]

In all seriousness, though, the Tunnel Effect meme completely misses the point of the scene by taking it out of context

The meme gives the impression that the Tunnel Effect just happened to occur at a moment when Shin needed it, and then Atari showed up to explain what the Tunnel Effect is

This is simply not what happened

What did happen was that Atari used her own ability, probability manipulation, to force the infinitesimally unlikely event of the Tunnel Effect occurring to occur

The contextual issue isn't that an obscure scientific phenomenon happened, it's that A) Atari herself seemed to appear out of literal nowhere, and B) she said that she used a little bit of luck that she had left over after the previous time that she spawned a ludicrously low probability event into existence

If she was just using a little luck, then reasonably something more believable would have happened, like the blade chipping or dulling or rusting after cutting through so many people and objects, or just not being able to withstand the force of Uzuki's swings - or hell, even just making it so Shin's mind control just happened to work in time!

But no, she used "a little luck" to make something nearly impossible happen! For every single atom in the blade to pass through every single atom in Shin's neck, each and every one would have needed to have used the Tunnel Effect independently of each other - bear in mind that even the head of a pin has billions of atoms on it, so you can imagine that there's more than a couple barriers that need to be passed here to allow the Tunnel Effect to occur over that wide of an area

This of course is meant to demonstrate the scope of Atari's abilities by making her do something amazing at what seems to be a small cost, but it comes at the expense of making her look stupid for not doing something more practical and making the author look foolish for utilizing absurd science to write himself out of a corner

This brings us to the second issue with the meme though: the situation actually got worse for Shin because of the way Atari saved him

The meme makes it seem like this was a get out of jail free card that the author pulled out of his ass and could feasibly do again at any time, but the point is that, again, Atari's power is finite, and that using it to forcefully manifest good luck invites bad luck

The entire Order showed up by complete coincidence after Atari used her power to create the Tunnel Effect, which is objectively worse for Shin than if he'd just let Uzuki finish him off right then and there (in the sense that his impending doom is now set to be much more painful), so now he has to personally find a way to get out of a more harrowing situation, and can't rely on something as insane and unlikely as the Tunnel Effect again

In other words, while the fandom's issue with the Tunnel Effect is Shin's plot armor, the truth is that it was a plot device meant to raise the stakes, not lower them, it just did it in a way that was ungraceful and easily misunderstood

[ruporas]

Hi there, this might be stupid but I don't have anyone else to spew this to so I suppose you just have to endure my self-indulgent ramblings. Sorry in advance!! I've been thinking a lot about, like, Wolfwood with wings? Not like, an AU where he's been a Plant all along but where something happened that forced them out of him, maybe something with the tincture/vials or being in the proximity of one of Vash's sisters when he takes one or perhaps even something the Eye of Michael did right at the beginning that was lying dormant until they felt the ned to active it, I don't know- this probably sounds so stupid. I'm just imagining this painful, confusing, otherworldly thing happening to Wolfwood that he doesn't understand, seeing the black feathers crawling across his skin and sprouting from his shoulders, thinking himself more of a monster than he already is because he obviously isn't human, he isn't Plant, he isn't even like Vash, so what is he other than another kind of monster, more fucked up than he used to think that Vash was?? And Vash just looking at Wolfwood with his sharp claws and his fangs and his glowing eyes and the feathers sprouting from his arms and face and chest, at the big black wings that extended from his back to stretch around him like a funeral shroud, understanding the pain and the fear and the feral instability of something unthinkable happening that he couldn't comprehend, knowing that Wolfwood was thinking about himself as a monster just like Vash did, and being in the unique position of being able to help him through it, helping him understand what was happening to him and aiding in dissipating the feathers and fangs and claws and helping him recover in the aftermath. I don't know, this might be stupid and crazy but. I can't stop thinking about it. Thank you for coming to my ridiculous self-indulgent TED talk, thank you for everything you do.

hello! omg, getting this was such a lovely surprise, i love seeing the passion in this au. i love the concept of wolfwood with wings too (specifically a huge #fan of guardian angel wolfwood or some sort of angel with smaller wings than vash).

wolfwood is such a meant to be human, made to be human character that it always makes me a little sad to dip him into the creature zone because the confusion and distress he'd inevitably experience hurts me afgmskgmsd but Regardess, it's always a good angsty concept. piling on top of the way he views himself already, it's as though those thoughts physically manifest themselves and air it out for everybody to see. unable to deny what he has become when it's presented in such a blatant way.

from the way it's described, i'm imagining this to be like… mid way through the story, close to vol 7 :3 i think something like this happening after vash got his big scare with his powers becoming open to the world, a monster now openly claimed and known, he'd be scared, wracked with guilt, and struggle to navigate his own vulernabilities to properly help wolfwood. at the same, wolfwood is understanding vash better, acknowledging the person he is despite his other worldliness and thinking of the impending doom on humanity if vash doesn't get to knives, i think amidst his own self loathing, it's touched by fretting over vash and wanting to not hold them both down with this abrupt transformation. he'd likely push down his own fear to try and find a direct solution to stop the height of the transformation, to which vash would likely shred a sliver of vulnerability to give objective advice/assistance.

i like the idea of them settling down later and both of them being in the "what the fuck do we do now" phase and having no answer but can only discover the answer by navigating it slowly. having something like this happen would forcibly open a conversation of their experiences, i think, especially for wolfwood who might have to talk a bit about his EoM experience to give an inkling on how something like that could've happened. it's both kind of sweet and depressing how they'd get the chance to communicate more of their life to each other through this :'] an almost parallel experience… and i think vash would have to think about what could define a monster, he'd certainly view himself as one but not wolfwood.

i wish i had more creative fuel to churn your vision out into a drawing but i couldn't come up with anything cool enough to match the descriptions…

i'm not sure if you've seen it from me yet, but i did do a plant-related thing that follows a similar horrified discovery for wolfwood / being changed into a half-human half-plant sometime ago, in case you might want to see more feathery woowoo! it has trimax spoilers (post trimax) so heed warning, but here's the asks:

thank you for sharing this with me! it's fun to think about it, always a joy to wolfwood in Situations… just constantly experiencing the horrors, but at least he isn't alone..!

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

day 2: party - @lautski-week

get it.,, like a..,,.,,, dnd party.,.,.,..,,

i straight up gasped when i realized i could use this as an excuse to talk about my lautski dnd au, so, if ur interested im gonna go feral about it below the cut:

steph: half-elven fighter

solomon lauter is a deeply corrupt, incredibly magical high elven king whose maintained his rule through intense dealings with the pantheon of the lords in black

he married a human woman at some point in his rule and he does love her, at first, just not as much as his power

so when the lords in black make him promise to sacrifice her in the name of some deal, he's sort of upset but... obviously he's gonna do it, she was gonna die before him anyway, it's not like it's a huge deal to let her die a little early, his subjects will think it was a squishy human life span thing, bada bing bada boom, hands clean of the whole affair

BUT.... then his wife gets pregnant and has a Stephanie... which kinda fucks shit up because said Stephanie is still fucking there after his wife has been sacrificed

he hates her, partially because she's a half-elf and partially because of what she represents, and she hates him, which results in her having very few boundaries because he doesn't want to deal with her

she's still a princess, and she's surrounded by high elves who think she's stupid and inferior because she's only a half elf and she has very little magical prowess, so it's not exactly ideal circumstances even with her extra freedoms

so she learns to punch things

because if people are dicks she can't outwit them but she can deck them

eventually the lords in black offer another trade with her dad where he can trade her for extra magic, but mostly it's just a test to prove his loyalty and he is honestly more than happy to get rid of her

except steph gets wind of it (because she's generally close with the kind of people who fucking hate the king/don't get treated with enough respect for people to not gossip around them) and she runs the fuck away

so now she's being chased down by her father who is facing pressure from the libs for not making the sacrifice, all the while experiencing actual respect and freedom for the first time from her party members

pete: teifling warlock-wizard multiclass

so you know that post thats like it's ethically ambiguous but you can hand off any cursed object to a baby? that's pete's whole thing in this kind of

ted, his full human older brother, was a intentional patron of tinky, who hadn't really thought it through and tried to get out of it by making a stupid promise and really just ended up dooming himself and his unborn brother (he felt really bad about it before he disappeared under mysterious circumstances, tho)

pete was born with a warlock pact to tinky (which was pretty obvious when his full human parents created a bright yellow teifling baby)

he hates tinky and is very uncomfortable and upset by the whole thing, so he multi classed into wizard shit when he was, like, eleven

tinky actively attempts to prevent him from gaining levels in wizard

he lies about being only a wizard and has spent years coming up for excuses about why a lot of his 'wizard spells' are very specifically warlock ones if someone asks (literally no one has ever noticed or questioned it)

because he was born with the pact bond tinky's hold over him is way stronger, and if he really submits (when shit gets super bad) tinky can take over his body and puppet him into doing some fucked up violent shit

he is truly treated like SHIT for being a teifling in his home town and it really minimizes a lot of his academic prospects, even though he's so smart, so part of the reason why he's traveling with his party is to try and find a real wizarding academy that will take him

(and one that can maybe help break his pact with tinky)

Bonus:

Ruth: human rouge who desperately wants to be a bard, but she's too nervous to perform and ironically, tragically hiding the fuck out in the shadows comes a lot easier

Richie: firbolg artificer -- he's pretty bad with the magical aspects of anything, but he builds a lot of cool ass machinery to make up for it (even if, god, hes SO upset by how bad he is at magic)

Grace: High Elven Cleric who WILL become a fucked up little warlock to the lords in black eventually (she is from steph's kingdom and followed her when she ran away to 'protect her'. Steph has been trying to shake her this whole time)

[lemotmo]

Tired. Also heads up on the inbox stuff.

Q. How are you not upset or freaking out right now? This is not good in any way!!!

A. Okay so this is the last anon message I'm going to answer at least until after the episode. If you want to spiral in my inbox you are going to have to do it with your name. So for the time being anon message capability has been turned off. As for this ask, there is no part of this that is bad news in the grand scheme of things. Am I annoyed by it? Yes. Is it the laziest way to get there? Yes. But it's also objectively hilarious because he's not the one. None of this is about him. So while I am annoyed about how stupid this whole thing is, I also understand what they're doing with it. At this point I genuinely don't know how anyone can be confused by the storyline they're telling here. Episodes 9 and 10 exist in canon. They didn't occur accidentally. Buck is going to try to take an ex home to EDDIE'S house and attempt to have sex with them IN Eddie's bed. The entire thing is about Eddie. And it's objectively hilarious given who the rumored ex apparently is. The spiraling is baffling to me. They could be planning their wedding and someone somewhere would post a dooming speculation post and some of you would crash out immediately. I genuinely don't understand this pattern. Media literacy is a thing. We, and the journalists I might add, didn't invent the stuff we've been seeing since last season. Olive teased a slow burn. He teased wanting a will they/won't they. Welcome to the party people. Relax and let the story unfold. It's going one way and one way only. This part might suck but it's entirely temporary.

Thank you Nonny!

Yeah...

We haven't seen the episode yet, so I'm still cautious on whether or not these 'leaks' are true. So take all of this with a grain of salt.

First of all I owe an apology to the Nonny that came into my inbox a few days ago, talking about the exact scenario from those 'leaks' and that that might happen. I thought it was a ludicrous idea, but if this leak turns out to be true tonight, it will still be ludicrous but fact. So, wherever you are Nonny, I'm very sorry. I was wrong. It has happened before and it will no doubt happen again.😽

I agree with Ali all the way. I'm not angry, just confused by this show's insistance to continuously write up very strange scenarios when it could have been so much easier. But whatever? 🤷‍♀️

You all know that I was already convinced T would be coming back to play the last act in his plot device arc, but I didn't think the show would take it this far. I suppose Buck is having his own little crazy Vertigo moment here. It is what it is.

I'm not upset. I am going to get through whatever it is they'll show us of this very bad decision, because I know there's a light at the end of this tunnel. The man is head over heels in love with his best friend and if this is the way for him to realise it? Well, c'est la vie.

It'll all be part of buddie's 'will they won't they' romance. This truly is the slowburn to end all slowburns.

Silver lining? At least he didn't bring home someone else and we'd have to go through the whole cycle of people jumping ship going 'OMG Buck and that random woman/man' were perfect for each other. They are soulmates' phase. Better stick with the annoyance that we know than to add new unknown and unpredictable annoyances to this fandom.

Everyone should be watching this episode though. Don't let T stop you from watching and enjoying Buck's first moment of realisation in 7 seasons. Don't let T stop you from watching Buck crash out over Eddie. Don't let T stop you from exploring more strange Bobby lore. Most of all though... don't let T stop you from enjoying Aisha's directorial debut. It'll be wonderful if we could all support her as she deserves.

So I'll be sitting down tomorrow morning to watch the episode, as unspoiled as possible at this moment. I never open any social media on Friday morning and happily watch whatever story is about to unfold.

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[echologname]

Hack your ADHD brain to do things

If there's a pot of dopamine at the end of a rainbow, I'd believe it because I've been searching frantically where to find this stuff. But for now, here's some ridiculous and maybe unhinged advice on how to get your silly brain to produce it itself. In my opinion, the more silly, stupid and simple it is, the better.

Side quest roulette

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7rard8ukBz/?igsh=aGxzdHNkaGl6MWxt

Tell yourself to do something that's NOT what you want to do and let the ADHD distract you down the correct rabbit hole.

Duck tape yourself to your task

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-78ilVJlyb/?igsh=am9pODRzY2xtMTY5

Duck tape yourself to your chair if you need to sit down and do homework. If you move to get up, you'll feel the gentle pressure and it'll remind you to stay focused.

Honestly, I did say some of these were out there 😜

Sing

Singing stimulates your vagus nerve which helps reduce anxiety and has numerous other mental health benefits and makes you feel good inside. Signing while doing a task is a great strategy!

Nested roulette games

The brain thrives with unpredictability and brevity. Doom scrolling is so addictive because:

Appeal - something enjoyable

Brevity - a minute reel

Unpredictability - you keep scrolling for the surprise of what's next

So use this to choose your tasks at random and only commit to doing them for a little bit. If I spin a wheel and the task is homework, spin again for a random assignment and again for what part of the assignment and set a timer for a few to 30 minutes max. Then you can do some proprioception stims like jumping jacks or twirl around to help you task change.

If your brain is chaotic, then giving it a chaotic and stimulating environment is what it needs.

Create an environment conducive to productivity

I can't be in my room, it's a mess, I don't have the energy to clean it but I need to put things away if I want to get to my desk to do work. So, instead of mixing my "lazy" and "work" environments in the same space, I'm only allowed to be messy and do fun things on the other end of the room that way my work space stays neat and tidy. It can help to have a room divider.

I focus better when I'm in work environments like school where everyone there has the same goal. So, it's my attempt to recreate the division where I associate different spaces with different tasks.

Sometimes I just get stuck but splashing cold water on my face or drinking something cold kinda zaps me out of that state and I feel alert and refreshed, ready to take on a task. You can set reminders to regularly get your cold fix to stimulate your nervous system and activate a mild stress response.

Name inanimate objects

If I name something, that automatically gives it "feelings." This is to help motivate me to take good care of things like my bedroom. If they're messy, they're sick and sad and it'd help me WANT to clean it up instead of just forcing myself to do it.

Coldness

Blanket head

For some reason, I focus better at night. So I try to recreate the same conditions by putting a blanket over my head, that way it's cozy, dim, less noisy and it's just me and my homework, nothing else.

Turn your routine into a mnemonic device

For example: Wisconsin Badgers Huddle Dramatically

Wash face

Breakfast

Homework

Dishes

The sillier the better. The idea is to make it easier to remember and make a habit of things to do.

Social media encouragement

Post your completed task in an ADHD encouragement group to get likes, positive comments or even help from others about where to start on a task.

Puppy dog eyes = YES!

Place talky buttons on the floor for your dog. Each one has a task or chore you have to do and when your dog presses one like, "Do dishes." you HAVE to obey. They're too cute to say no to and I'd do ANYTHING for them, if I'm willing to give my life for my dog, I can definitely do a few chores for her. Also, if my dog is encouraged to do this behavior with treats after I complete the task, she'll keep barking and begging and being silly and obnoxious until I do the task.

Get fictional characters to help you

Write notes to yourself about what's next to do or an upcoming appointment and sign them from "So and so." I'll listen to anyone but myself. You can even put them in a mailbox to make it more engaging.

Or use AI voices (for personal use ONLY! Voice actors are amazing people and it's mean to use their voice without permission) and a character give you your to-dos or words of encouragement.

ChatGPT scheduler

I've tried many times, but I suck at blocking out time for things. So I'll tell AI what I typically do, any goals and such and it'll give me what my week should look like.

Toy confetti and giant "pill boxes"

Create bins/cardboard boxes for each day of the week

Collect "toy confetti" (small knick knacks from diverse playsets like Legos, Barbie accessories, fidgets, small plastic dinos, Happy Meal toys etc...)

Write tasks on the toys and optionally an amount of time to set for that task

Place what needs to be done on which day in the corresponding boxes

The surprise and sensory diversity makes it fun and the boxes give it basic schedule structure.

Give yourself an important sounding title

Like, "I am the Princess! Everything I say goes!" And really get into the responsibilities inherent in your imaginary position. It can feel very empowering.

Mailbox

Set up a table or space for a box and some paper and writing utensils next to it. Optionally, have a cloud printer set up too. If someone has a chore for you to do, they can leave you a note in your box or if they have forms for you to sign, they can highlight where and leave it for you. Or if I have a note to leave for myself while I'm out of the house, I can use my phone connected to the printer, to print out the note at home (possibly placed so the paper falls into the box).

ASMR

Do your tasks slowly and listen carefully to the sounds of the tinkling silverware, tap your fingers on hard surfaces you have to wipe down...etc. It's no longer "chores" but yummy homemade ASMR.

Silly hats

Wear a silly hat for different things (like homework vs chores) so it acts as a cue to your brain to help you gear shift.

Different music genres help too.

Gentle parenting

Tell yourself, "It's OK sweetie, I know it's frustrating and you're trying your best to do the thing but you feel stuck."

Opposite action (DBT therapy)

Do the opposite of what your emotions are telling you to do. If you're feeling sad and want to curl up alone in the dark and do depressed things, you're just going to encourage that emotion instead of doing things a non-depressed person does like go outside in the sun and talk to friends.

If you're demotivated and want to sit and doom scroll, just get up, do a power pose and start with one little thing.

Video game roleplay

Attach a controller plug to a headband and controll myself to do things.

Fictional character roleplay

Act how a character would act doing that task. Mimic their body language, tics, lingo, humor…etc.

If doing the task stresses you out too much, pretend you're summoning someone else to do it and it might as well be your favorite character.

Demon slaying

The task that you NEVER seem to be able to do is a demon that must DIE! Fuel yourself with that adrenaline! C’ause that pile of laundry is just going to mock you and your executive dysfunction indefinitely. And we can't have that, so be a hero and murder your tasks! Those stressful little burgers are going DOWN!

Exercise audio games

Using an app like Zombies, Run! or Marvel Move, get up and get going, knock out missions while getting chores done.

AI assistance

AI works as my brain, it plans everything out and I just operate as the body taking commands of what to do next.

Dog treatment

Give yourself a treat for doing basic human things.

Cleaning hacks

Everything has a colored sticker which goes in the corresponding colored drawer/box/shelf…etc.

Give everything silly names. The dingawongs go on the desk with the other dingawongs and the jigawigas go in the drawer with the other jigawigas.

Try to pick up things with robot hands (mechanical hands with string and cardboard/plastic) or your toes. It'll be so much more fun and novel!

Video + Tasker

Record vids of giving tasks and use Tasker to automatically play them at a certain time as a reminder.

Best used with smart watch (like a super spy getting a secret mission 😎)

Quests

Mystery dispensers by each task (like by the cleaning supplies) and go around doing tasks in order to get the reward.

Optional function: they have AI and you need to send a picture of the completed task (checks image date and time metadata) in order to get the prize.

Puppet/plush care

Instead of saying, “I have to do this,” it's “I have to make sure Fuzzy does this by this time because I care about her and love her.” So it uses my sense of maternal responsibility for caring for helpless creatures that can't do anything on their own.

Also, it's Jesus's love language helping others! His law is love and that's how He wants us to show it.

VR game

Highlights items to put away and where and gives cute animations and sound effects for doing the task. Like a SIM but uses augmented reality.

Virtual pet reminders

Whenever it yells at you for a specific thing like food, associate it with doing something for yourself like getting yourself food too. You can't always trust yourself to set reminders.

Audio planner A

Computer talks and says what the task is, for how long and plays specific music to mentally que that task.

Example:

7:30 AM

“Time to wake up!”

“You have an hour to get ready for the day”

Plays morning music

8:20

“10 more minutes”

8:30

“Homework time!”

“You have 30 min until a break”

Plays Lofi Hip Hop

9:00

“You can take a break now”

Has a web interface with a checklist and whenever a task is completed, it says something like, “Congratulations on completing ____!” “You’ve earned 10 virtual coins!”

Audio planner B

Same as above but a playlist of time chunks and voice clips

MP3 to-do timer

Music clips with the task as the “song title.” Selecting a random song to be played, would be the same as selecting a random task and setting a timer for it, in this case, the run time of a song.

Candy task randomizer

Take a candy/pill dispenser filled with beads with tasks written on them.

Plush task randomizer

Plush with sound module with recordings of different tasks.

Bead currency

Every task completed is worth a bead.

10 beads = 1 USD

Keep track of beads as they accumulate

Can ONLY buy something for puppies IF there's enough beads

Adulting kid’s app

In a virtual world, their parents can set up a to-do list and they have an in game calendar, bank, phone and such. They're goal is to take care of a virtual pet whose needs are very realistic: unpredictable. Anyway, to take care of a pet, you need money which is earned by completing tasks (parents and teachers can send tasks to their to do and appointments to their calendar.

They have to plan out about how much food and medicine their pet needs and spend it wisely. They get an virtual invoice/receipts.

Their pet can spontaneously get sick and they need to make an appointment with the vet and pay LOTS from savings.

Delayed gratification prize dispenser

Write tasks on paper

Add paper to jar once complete

When the jar is full/reaches a minimum weight, it’ll dispense a prize

Flower power

Write tasks on seed paper

When a task is complete, put it in a jar

The jar is filled by the end of the week and the tasks can be planted!

Egg system

Fill eggs with different tasks related to homework or free/break time. And set a timer to complete the task on the egg I picked.

For free time, instead of picking up my phone and waste time, I pick up an egg. This way, I can do things I’ve always wanted to do but never do because I’d rather sit and do nothing.

Also, keeping a strict schedule is hard, this way, it's not mindless routine, it has an element of surprise and flexibility.

Possible Motivators

Throughout all species throughout the world and time, necessity has been the driving force and the reward: life and continued existence, food and health. They’d literally die without the skills they acquired from their parents, sometimes horribly. There's no, “If I want to get distracted and not do this thing, there's no consequences, I’ll still live just fine.”

I suppose drastic stakes are super effective.

Also, like the Bluey episode, “Duck cake,” even when Bluey got things she liked and enjoyed for cleaning up, they didn't fulfill her as much as cleaning up to please her parents and make them happy. So, doing things for the good of helping others is also a strong motivator. If we always live for the things that please us, for the things we want, we’ll never be truly happy.

Or Tiana in The Princess and the Frog, she had a dream she wanted SO desperately, she worked hard every day for years for it, never once taking her eyes off the prize. What dream do you have?

Make other things just as or more enjoyable than my bad habits.

Find something or someone to live for (for me, it's my dog's). It's different when you take care of someone you love because you would do anything for them. They're ALIVE, they have feelings and it makes you care about them.

Or if not, pretend you have a little kid to take care of and they follow you around everywhere and watch what you do. You'd want to make sure you're always setting a good example and demonstrating healthy habits.

Though it's probably not the healthiest, nothing kicks me into high gear like being frustrated/angry. I get an "I can fight everyone!" mentality and end up taking it out on chores and doing things. At least I'm not too irritable and it's constructive.

[ray935sworld]

11 for Fabio x Luca<33333

For this

Things you say when you were drunk

Luca knew there was no reason to be jealous. Objectively speaking.

Fabio was young. Younger than himself. Hell, even younger than Bez. And a rider. That wasn't what the other was normally going for.

But still, there had been a slight hint of jealousy, like a burning fire, everytime he had seen his older brother and the young Frenchman interact. Vale's arm a little too close around his shoulders for the younger Italians liking. Fabio laughing a little too much.

He wanted to say it was only due to Vale being Vale. That the motogp rookie was just being polite. That his personality made it impossible not to match Vale's in a way.

Both shining like the sun, even brighter together.

Luca on the other hand felt like he was darker. Like he was the moon. Doomed to chase the sun but never actually match them.

He shook his head. The alcohol was getting to him. He knew he should get up, find Pecco or Franky and tell them that he was heading for the hotel. Possibly take Bez or Migno with him, to make sure they got home safely.

But he didn't.

He decided against it. Because a certain Frenchman was still dancing in the colorful lights, moving to the music as if it was a secret ritual.

Luca watched him some more. He watched his sweat shimmer like gold. He watched his necklace blink, wondering how the pearls might feel in his mouth. He watched the dark ink spread out on his skin, wondering if this part of his body might taste different from the rest of it.

He felt Fabio eyes on him. He would have second guessed if the look really had been for him. But when he winked and smiled playfully, he was sure.

He hold his glass a little tighter and downed the last bit alcohol. It burned down his throat and with it, his hesitation and his self control burned.

He started to dance, something he rarely did, slowly moving towards Fabio. He knew he was drunk but being drunk really was the only way he could do this.

He got closer to the younger, saw him smile, tease, grin. He saw him wave him over, playfully, acting like he was pulling him closer.

Luca smiled. There was a slight shade of devious in his expression. This was exactly what he wanted. He approached him, dancing right infront of him and before he could think it over, he had one hand around his hip and the other around his neck.

It was a bold move. Possible stupid. He was pulling him closer but still holding him loosely. If Fabio were uncomfortable, he could easily change their position or leave. But he didn't.

Instead Luca saw a shimmer in the younger man's eyes. The pupils of the 20 year old dilated. He stared at him all wide eyes. Surprised. But a good one. He hoped.

"Luca" he said, slightly tilting his head. He spoke normally but due to the noses around him, it felt more like a whisper.

"Salut" the Italian responsed in the frenchmans mother tongue. He watched a smile creep on the younger ones face at that and the older one took it as an invitation to let his hand caress his neck and go up short hair.

"Can I kiss you?"

Now it was Luca who was left surprised. Fabio was still staring at him, leaning against his touch, shifting in his place while waiting for an answer.

"I'd love to kiss you" Luca replied before leaning in and kissing the younger man.

Their lips met and almost at the same time, he felt his hands around his waist. He felt Fabio carefully pulling him closer, holding him, as if he wasn't sure if he was allowed.

Luca chuckled in the kiss, managing to tilt the other ones head in a way he liked. He deepened their kiss, hoping to show how much he enjoyed having the younger one melt against him.

Fabio lips tasted like lemon honey. He tasted like the sun, warm and sweet with a sharpness that just seemed to fit. There was the burning of the alcohol the young rider had drank himself. It mixed with Lucas drinks.

He felt the hand around fabios waist tighten a little. He didn't want to let him go. Not now, not already.

But eventually, both of them needed air.

"Mmmmhh" the younger one hummed in amusement as he dropped his head against the taller man's neck. "You're an even better kisser than I thought." "You thought about this?" "Of course."

Luca couldn't help himself but feel doubt creep in. It wasn't because of anything in particular. He knew this statement was something good and he should be happy. But there remained an uncertainty that he couldn't stand.

Fabio seemed to have picked it up immediately. "Is everything okay?" he asked, slightly tightening his hold around him. "Yes. Everything is good now that I have you... I do, don't I?" "You do. Always did."

Luca kissed his cheeks, still holding him close. His lips were now excatly next to his ears. "I just don't want him to have you. I don't care that he has everything else but not you."

He would have never said this if it wasn't for tbe alcohol. It was an admission he would never make. That he felt like he got everything while he...

No. He had Fabio. That was his everything. That was everything he needed so he just smiled.

"Who are you talking about?" Luca wants to laugh out loud. It felt so perfect that finally his brother wasn't someone first thought. "No one. It doesn't matter."

[lunarrolls]

one of the things that really stood out to me in starstruck was how selfish skip’s motivation is, especially at first. having been introduced to norm first, a grade a asshole, skip’s own selfishness seems more subtle because it’s not outwardly directed at the party, but it’s definitely still there. it stuck with me the whole campaign so i’m just gonna write a post about it don’t mind me:

the information skip had when leaving his family and his home was that the emhatchening would doom his people if he didn’t participate. he was essentially presented with a choice that would kill every single cerebro slug or would kill him, and he chose to strike out on his own and explore the galaxy because, in his own words, he “didn’t want to do” the emhatchening. that, with the information he had, is a really selfish choice. we find out later that prilbus lied about the nature of the emhatchening, and skip figures this out, but throughout the early season, skip is still motivated by self-preservation.

he hides (or tries to, anyway) among the crew. he suppresses norman, taking objectively awful care of a body that’s not his. he runs from both his and norman’s past, killing the chamberlain instantly when he gets too close and killing other enemies without remorse. when given the chance to look back and “save” his people, to say that he’s explored enough, he violently rejects it because he likes the life he’s found. it straight up does not matter to him that his people may die. it was a happy accident that his father was a bigger shithead than he anticipated.

but what really fascinates me is the fact that, when prilbus catches up to him, he narrows in on what exactly matters to skip: his crew. his friends. his father looks directly at a character who had basically only acted in self-interest the entire season and calls him his “selfless, heroic little son,” and threatens not to kill him but to kill all of his friends and make him watch if he didn’t sacrifice himself for his father’s stupid-ass plan. part of this is because he needs skip to die in a specific way, but even prior to this, gnosis itself calls the crew selfless, which skip immediately objects to, saying “my entire species wants me to do one thing, and i don’t want to do it.”

skip thinks of what he’s doing as a selfish act. something objectionable he’s doing for no discernible reason. the fact that both gnosis and his father him differently is incredibly interesting to me. his people are asking him to do one thing, but is it really selfish to run if the one thing they’re asking him to do is die?

(and it’s also worth noting here that, when skip reveals he doesn’t share his peoples’ goal, sid is the first to immediately tell him his autonomy matters. a sentient being whose self worth was literally defined by her market appeal who just realized she could be her own person tells this runaway prince that he can do anything he wants to. it’s his right. to the gunner channel, freedom and choice are everything.)

over the course of the series, it’s shown that a lot of skip’s perceived selfishness is a learned trait. he was raised to take what he wanted and put himself above all others. he was taught that the host to a slug is weak and disposable, so that’s how he treated norman. he had to fight for anything he wanted, but slowly, as the gunner channel accept him, he actually starts to display a unique brand of kindness. he starts trying to talk to norman, to comfort him and apologize for what he thinks is the only way he can survive. he doesn’t attack the junkmother, even though it would be better to get the jump on her from a preservation standpoint, because sid befriends her. he lets himself, in his actual, vulnerable body be led literally blind through a prison because he’s the only hope they have of being freed.

ending the series with him and norman finding an alternate route to co-existence is a great way to visualize this arc. skip doesn’t have to dominate. he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, and he still chooses to share with norm, because he doesn’t want to dominate. he just wants to live. and wanting to live doesn’t make him an irredeemable person. it’s a selfish choice, to put yourself above the wishes of the many, but it’s not a wrong choice. skip lives because he wants to, and that’s his right.

[therobotmonster]

Let's talk about Toys in Cereal

This is a part of several posts of mine that have gotten big, but I figure it's best to address the phenomenon itself in a new post.

If you want to just browse a ton of cool old cereal toys once we're done, go to: www.cratercritters.com. It's a neat site.

Cereal toys are a long-standing American tradition. Some tag-questions asked if they went away because of greed or because of regulations, and that's complicated.

There are food regulations that complicate things. You may have heard that Kinder Eggs are not legal in the US.

This is usually framed as a "fear the stupid American Kids will eat the toy" kind of thing. This is not the case.

The actual regulation that blocks the Kinder Egg is about food safety from bacterial and undisclosed allergen contamination. Inserting a baggie with a toy into that exposes everything in the cereal bag to the outside of the toy package, and that's a no-no in the US market. The rare thing we're more strict about than the EU.

But that doesn't affect cereal toys, because they can get around it by having it in a separate package outside the food bag, between the inner back and the cardboard box. Much easier on the parents to find when you open the box, too.

Kinder has, themselves, addressed the US Kinder Egg problem the same way, with the Kinder Joy.

Splitting the package. into two sections that are individually sealed.

But a big blow to the practice was the end of the Australian R&L Toy Company.

R&L made tons of simple pack-in Premium toys from the 60s through the 80s. They were the primary supplier to Kelloggs, and made everything from simple one-piece figurines to little build-yourself-action-toys.

For instance, these "Wacky Walkers" worked by tying a string to the figure and the weight, then dropping the weight off a table. The figures would hobble forward on their feet, pulled by the weight. Neat-o!

Then there's stuff like these Toolybirds. I'd sell any one of you to the goblin king for a set of these, because I sure can't afford them at $25 apiece or more. I'll probably just make some dinosaur-knockoff version or somesuch to 3d print, eventually.

R&L went out of business in the 80s and its molds were sold to a toy manufacturing company in Mexico that produced their stuff as bag toys for awhile, before everything just faded away.

Meanwhile, the cereal market was forced to contract elsewhere without a devoted company doing essentially just that.

Liscenses came to the rescue. Fun fact, if you wanted toys from most of the Disney Afternoon, your only hope was Kellogg's.

As time went on, you started even getting software in cereal.

Chex gave out a free, PG-version of DOOM for free. Not a couple of demo levels, a whole game, run on the doom engine, with aliens you zap with a spoon.

But as time went on, companies got less and less into the idea of enticing with freebies, and parents started objecting to the marketing of sugar cereals with toy surprises, because given the opportunity, most parents will blame the company for making something the kid wants for their unwillingness to say "No."

The eternal conflict:

Cool thing the kid would enjoy that you might have to put your foot down over because enforcing moderation is a parent's job, verses unobjectionable conformist mush designed to increase your kids' "goodness levels."

I think the banning of cartoon mascots for snacks in certain countries is also ridiculous.

Thing is, any company could bring them back at any time.

The Monster cereals did figurines of their mascots in cosplay in 2021. Of course, they did it as a limited edition bullshit thing where the actual monster cereal mascots were chase figures, but they made them, they could do them at any time if they wanted to.

They could bring the magic back. Nothing is stopping them.

'cept there's no room for joy on the spreadsheet.

Gotta hit you with a little ennui. It's that ambergris stink that makes the perfume truly sweet.

[thisuserislilsilly]

Summary: When pushed to the limit, a pact is forged between two broken beings.

Pairing: Ember Nomad x Daemon of Khorne

Genre: Angst/ Drama

TW: A lot of descriptions to blood, bit of gore and foul language

Goblin tag squad: @cardinalcanis @finchly-tintinnabulation @artemisareia

@echo-of-damnation @meervalv0 @jaghatai-khock

@druidwolf21 @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @beckyninja

To become a monster

I've been shackled here for over a entire millennia, my thirst for blood not sated even a single drop since my last kill. The mortals thought it would be enough to just put me in this prison and be done with it but they were wrong, the thirst cannot be quenched by anything except blood.

The fool had turned me to this….thing, this steel that would never break, never bend and would always pierce through the flesh of his enemies, promising my cooperation if I just imbued myself into that pathetic little sword; the fool, absolute stupid little mutt. I could feel the blood being drawn by the sword as it pierced through their hearts, their brains and their eyes. I could feel it's thirst, it's lust for blood. I reveled in it, I served the fool well, but he did not served Khorne good enough. He was too weak for me to let him continue his conquest without me.

When the time came and the fool was struck down by that bitch of a Saint, I took control of the body and continued the fight. I sliced, diced and chopped. I cut and tore through their bodies and laughed at the screams of the mortals around me, so delicious, so sweet. My laughter echoed through the hearts of every scared pathetic being that dared to challenge my gaze. I had it all, all!. The mortals came for me, those sons of bitches that served the Anathema, that were descendants of the Guilliman son. I would had killed them all, I would had been their doom, I should had been the one to kill them, Zoman the gore flayer had never been defeated and would never be!. Yet, they shackled me here, away from my prey. Away from the battlefield, away from the sweet scent of blood and flesh. They left me here, in this accursed place where none of my brethren can reach me and where I can't even be sure of their fates.

I curse them, I curse the Anathema and all of his bloodline, I curse the Guilliman brat and his cursed crusade and I curse those Gryphon bastards that bested my mortal body, that with their prayers and banners of valor severed my connection with my Master; that shackled me to the state of death and rot my mortal body suffered, pushing me to retreat again into the object that bound me, this sword. I hate them all and I would see them all suffer a thousand times more than what I am suffering, I would see them all beg for mercy as they are flayed alive and tortured with pain, I will see their souls burn to ash and become one with the Warp, with my Master. I, Zormand, shall have the 8 paths of Khorne flooded with their blood and guts, this I swear upon the Blood God himself.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Afriel gasped for air one last time as he tore through the debris in which he and his brothers had been entombed in, the Nomad looked up to the sky and saw how the rest of the Astartes ship were bombarding the city. The sky was filled with plasma shots, missile trails and burning space ships, the once blue sky of the city had turned to an orange and red, clouds of black smoke covered the battlefield like a curtain, slowly descending into the ground.

"Micah…" Said the Nomad as he took off his helmet and inhaled the thick and acrid air. The smell of ash and fire was intense but it was still breathable and he could still see the enemy positions bracing for the impacts and retreating to more secure positions. The Nomads were just as spread and desperately fighting like the genestealer cult was, the Gryphons aid had only being the doom for both armies "Micah….I'm coming…" The Marine hastily grabbed his Boltgun and stood up from the pile of debris, looking around at the carnage that surrounded him. The street that was once full of life and joy was now a hellish landscape of destroyed buildings, burning corpses, tanks and other vehicles. The city of Dorn's Keep was no more.

Stumbling from cover to cover as his inhuman senses were still stabilizing, Afriel called out through the intercom to the rest of his squad, attempting to see if some of them had survived the building that fell on them all. He got no response back. He pressed onward, not knowing what to do except for one thing: Find Micah, his beloved White Scar that, through the course of their stay together, had become more than just a comrade to him. Afriel moved across the battleground like a ghost, the remaining genestealer cultists that crossed his path were dealt with the same efficiency that as if he had been with all his senses at full capacity. His mind was focused on one single task: Finding Micah.

As he moved through the city he encountered both Gryphons and Nomads, many of them were already dead, others were wounded beyond repair and some of them were still fighting but were so close to death that they would be counted among the dead very soon. It wasn't until he reached the place where they had lost contact with the White Scar that Afriel found what had become of the shuttles that were going to make the remaining loyalist flee the death of that planet.

A burning heap of wrecked metal was all that remained of the once beautiful adorned shuttles, the smell of burned flesh and melted plasteel made Afriel gag and throw up whatever his stomach had inside it. The sight of so many of his comrades burning to death without a chance to escape made his blood boil with rage. This was no work of the cult, it was the Gryphons. Yet again those who his Chapter had trusted were brothers turned out to be murderers, traitors and bastards who didn't know what loyalty was. There was no way out of there; he would die just like every combatant still breathing the smokes and fires of the city, he would die. But not without a fight. With a snarl the Marine reloaded his weapon and went back to the battlefield, he would not go down without making the traitors pay for what they did, even if the only one who would know about this betrayal would be him.

For a full hour Afriel fought and killed with even more fury than before, his body was covered with wounds that would had killed any mortal but no Space Marine, and he was one of those. He kept on, raging through the streets and buildings he found, making no distinction now between Genestealer and Gryphon, only attending to assist the few fellow Nomads that remained alive; which were too busy doing what every Nomad was trained to do in their last moments of life: Save the innocent and laugh in the face of death like if it were an old friend.

Ultimately, however, numbers and time were two things not even an Astartes can defeat for so long; his knees grew tired and shook as he made bigger and bigger efforts to stay on his feet, his enemies started to get more and more shots through his armor and into his flesh. Afriel's body was failing him but his mind kept him going, even when he knew that there was nothing left to do but die, even when he knew that he should surrender and just lay down to die, he kept fighting, because that is what he was born to do: To fight. Eventually, his body finally failed him and he fell to his knees, his eyes heavy and his vision blurred by both pain and exhaustion, snarling as he felt pain and shame for the first time in many years.

"I'm sorry Micah…" Whispered the Marine as he felt blood running from the wound in his side, where he had taken a missile blast "I couldn't kill them all, I couldn't reach out to…reunite with you once again…."

He closed his eyes; grunting as he felt his breathing labored, trying to smile as to be received by the Khan and his spirits in the beyond; there was still the will to fight and to slaughter each and every single bastard responsible for his demise, but he was content with reuniting with his brothers, his squad, his family, once more. As he neared his last breaths, a whisper in the wind reached his ears, a voice that made him open his eyes once again and look around him for the source of that familiar voice.

"That is all?!?! You give in!?!?! Fool! Will you let them win? Will you let them wash the blood of your brothers without rightful punishment?!?!?!" The voice was deep, guttural and it sounded almost like a beast trying to speak through a man's throat; yet. "I cannot keep fighting…" Said Afriel through gritted teeth, the voice continued to speak, ignoring what he just said. "Your duty is not yet over, you have sworn to defend the Imperium and your brothers, how can you defend them if you're dead?" Asked the voice "The battle is not over, the enemy has not been defeated and your brothers need you!" Afriel groaned and tried to stand up, using his Boltgun as support but he could not move, his body was failing him, his power armor was failing him. The Marine fell once again, his back hitting the cold stone floor as his arms fell to his sides. He sighed and groaned as he tried to stand again; he felt the voice laughing at his attempts, mocking his shallow lonely efforts. It became clearer where it came from, just a few meters beyond his head, under some statue that had fallen during the bombing. "It seems that I'll have to help you get back on your feet, you fool" Said the voice as it laughed once again, a sinister glint coming from below the fallen statue. "Take me" Afriel groaned as he looked up the glint was just at arm's reach; some little effort and he could easily pull whatever was under the rubble towards him. The Nomad frowned at the implications of the voice words, he knew since he was a mere child of the spirits and Daemons that stalked the shadows ready to fall unto unsuspected victims and feast on their bodies as they possessed them. It was beyond wrong or heretical, it was giving in his soul to whatever or whoever lurked there. "Away apparition…if I die I shall do so with my soul intact-" "Ughrrrrah you humans! You foolish mortals with your flawed sense of right and wrong, of pure and unholy; can't you see there is no difference any longer? The Anathema will have your soul or the Gods will, you are a slave no matter what or whom do you serve!" The voice growled "I am trying to save you, to spare you from those chains! TAKE ME!" "Are you allied with the Gryphons to prove we are traitors?" Afriel tried to chuckle, but his lungs were no longer working properly to allow such an action "No….not them" The voice seemed to spit the words out "I wish their doom, just as you do. You need me to live and avenge, I need you to escape this shell and uphold my oath" "It is not enough to sell my soul and honor" Afriel closed his eyes, expecting to not open them once again "Begone and let us both perish here" "I see…your soul is more valuable than Micah; tell me, how long until the Scar meets another and forgets about you? How long until the pain drowns his memories of you? Oh and what a celebration will the Gryphons have once you are no longer in the picture, perhaps they will court your beloved" "No….not…." The memories flooding back to his mind, his brothers wishing him good luck, pushing him to have more encounters with Micah; a life that would never return, laughter than time would forget "You see it, don't you? You remember them. I can make their sacrifice worth a shit, all you need to do is take me, pet" Afriel inhaled deeply, rethinking his choices. The voice had spoken the truth, even if he survived today he would eventually die and never meet Micah again, but if he did accept the help of the voice and survive…he could kill those who betrayed them, those who slayed his brothers; the thought of it brought a smile to his lips. If the kindness was turned to a weapon, if the brotherhood had being uncovered to be discord and betrayal, if the line had been crossed already why would this be different? History had been marked only by those who stood up with violence to those who had been wronged, using the tools of the enemy did not made them equal. They had taken his family and his love, now he would take far more from them. "An oath for a vengeance" The Nomad muttered "And they shall be done"

[spliqi]

higuchi and tsujimura for the chara ask game <3 (- kavi/blackwaves. looks at my choice in characters and goes this may be an expected sign-off,)

hey kavi!!! 🫶 yes it’s very expected but i’m glad because i love talking about these girls

higuchi ichiyou - bsd

favorite thing about them: ohohoho. what if you devoted yourself entirely to someone for nothing in return. what if you were doomed to be drawn to each other and yet fundamentally incompatible i.e. akutagawa valuing devotion but resenting being protected/relying on others… higuchi desperate to understand the misunderstood and to fix those who are suffering but never getting that reassurance she needs that she’s Doing the Right Thing.

anyway. my favorite thing about her is the intensity of her emotion. the fact that akutagawa becomes more than just the object of her romantic feelings - he becomes her purpose, and this doesn’t even develop from mutual love. she keeps herself in constant danger in a place she doesn’t belong for it, because she’s in so deep that she’s not even looking out for him just out of affection anymore. he’s no longer just a crush, he’s what keeps her going. to give up on him would be to give up on herself. to me it’s a super compelling, almost a descent-into-madness kind of devotion that is even more delicious to me than the dazai-akutagawa fixation because for higuchi there are canonical romantic feelings and rose-colored glasses involved. she can justify the bad things he does not only because she wants to but because she has to. or else she has to confront her own stupidity

least favorite thing about them: the watering down of her character to tropes. the simultaneous demonization and infantilization of her by the fanbase. the way she’s made into more of an aggressor in her relationship with akutagawa than he is??????

favorite line: “It’s not easy to break away from the mafia, but it’s not impossible. The only reason I didn’t do it is…”

brOTP: i bet you all think i’m gonna say tachihara but no. atsushi #higuatsuBFFLs

OTP: higugin. tachihigugin. tachihigu. higusano. tsujihigu (new addition)

nOTP: re: my last post abt akutagawa. higuaku but because i like it in this very specific unrequited way that is rarely captured in fan content

random headcanon: she always wears a little anklet her sister made for her when they were younger. she also keeps cough drops, warm gloves, painkillers etc on her at all times. she tells herself she’s just covering all bases to pretend she isn’t hoping akutagawa will need one and it will prove that he needs her

unpopular opinion: uhh of course she’s hypervigilant and won’t leave akutagawa alone 😭 it’s her job to be responsible for the wellbeing of terminally ill man. if anything happened to him she’d have nothing left. besides even if she was keeping tabs on him solely for creepy reasons i wouldn’t particularly care #Sorry #LetWomenBeProblematic

song i associate with them: in my head - ariana grande AGHHHHHH. also waiting room by phoebe bridgers. and who’s gonna save u now? by rina sawayama for less depressing vibes

favorite picture of them: ❤️❤️❤️❤️

tsujimura mizuki - bsd

favorite thing about them: her relationship with her mother. her relationship with ayatsuji. her story, the fact that you can do everything right and try your absolutely hardest and sometimes it still won’t make things any easier. the (literal) shadows that she carries with her everywhere. her unwavering humanity in spite of it all.

least favorite thing about them: there is nothing i even remotely dislike about this woman

favorite line: “My soul was crying.” & “My heart was screaming. I knew the answer, and yet I couldn’t wrap my head around it.”

brOTP: chuutsuji!!!

OTP: hits myself on the head with frying pan. soutsuji oh my fucking god

nOTP: i don’t think i have one? i don’t ship ango/tsujimura but tbh i don’t know anyone who does

random headcanon: this is canon but i’m getting more specific about it. she’s a james bond fangirl. she has all the movie box sets & on blu-ray. there is a cutout of daniel craig in her bedroom and a poster of pierce brosnan on the wall

unpopular opinion: her (and ayatsuji) are not akuhigu clones or even remotely similar. there is no way you can read the entire gaiden novel and come to this conclusion. it’s the most crazy disservice to both dynamics i do not understand how so many people think this

song i associate with them: stealing class of 2013 from mocha. also. every girldriver song e.g bad girls by m.i.a., vroom vroom by charli xcx, joyride by kesha, shut up and drive by rihanna

favorite picture of them: please do not speak to me about any of these images

character ask game

[raveneira]

Could you explain how the spoilers are bad for Sarada? I'm a little lost here

Because they show Sarada in the terrible light shes always been in but never been called out on it until now which was long overdue tbh but it needed to be said, just since now there's finally a light being shined on it, there's no ignoring it anymore, so now its not just the fandom saying it but its an actual canon conflict being addressed now, not just ppl speculating that's the case, it IS the case 100% now and its a terrible look for Sarada.

As for how well just look at how it all played out and see it through Sumire's pov, not the readers.

Sumire asked Sarada how she felt about Boruto FIRST to see how she felt and Sarada told her point blank with no hesitation or sign of lying that no she isn't interested and it doesn't bother her if other girls like him.

Keyword to remember:

It doesnt bother her if other girls like him

This is what leads Sumire to feel comfortable admitting her feelings to her, because Sarada said she isn't bothered, so Sumire tells her that she does like him and that it DOES bother her, much to Sarada's surprise but at no point does Sarada ever backtrack on her statement, leaving Sumire to believe that everything she said is true, that she doesn't like Boruto and doesn't mind if other girls like him, so Sumire feels comfortable to pursue a romance with Boruto without stepping on Sarada's toes.

In this moment Sumire is considering Sarada's feelings first, she easily could've pursued Boruto without ever asking Sarada how she felt, she doesn't own Boruto, he's not an object she called dibs on, so Sumire had no obligation to approach Sarada for 'permission' but she did, because she didn't wanna go behind her friends back going after somebody her friend liked, she wanted to know how Sarada felt first before saying anything about her own feelings, this is important considering what happens later in the timeskip that not enough ppl consider.

I get how on the surface this looks pretty petty, that's her childhood friend shes been worried about for 3 years so an emotional hug in relief isn't really anything to be mad over, but again, you gotta look at it from SUMIRE'S pov to understand how fked up this looks to her.

First you have to look at what Sumire says to Sarada, because she doesn't only talk about the hug, that's just one of many examples of Sarada not giving any thought to anyone else's feelings, that's just the example she chose to use here.

This is before she mentions the hug, Sumire is spot on in everything she says here because Sarada, even tho well intended, is being not only stupid but also extremely selfish here and the ppl trying to argue that it isn't are both delusional and in denial, especially the ones using Hinata to prove the point when Hinata herself literally says shes being SELFISH in what shes doing.

And what happened because of Hinata's selfishness? how did it affect Naruto?

Yeah, Naruto had a complete and total mental breakdown, he was in pain, suffering in agony, so much so he nearly gave into Kurama which would've killed him if he unsealed him that only by the grace of Minato thinking 16 years ahead was that prevented, otherwise Hinata doomed him to an early death by making him lose control like that with her selfishness.

Thats not a jab at Hinata btw, Naruto has been equally selfish and inconsiderate regarding Sasuke and others too at times, its only human, nobody is 100% unselfish and unflawed ALL the time that's just basic human nature, so there's nothing wrong with pointing out Hinata was selfish here just like there's nothing wrong to point out Sarada is too, it doesn't make them bad ppl, It just makes them human.

This is exactly what Sumire was talking about when she told Sarada to actually THINK for a moment, because for the past 3 years she hasn't thought about a got danm thing and it shows and this was just the final tipping point for Sumire because of what just happened recently, you'd think Sarada would've learned her lesson, wised up, realized the position shes in but no, instead she stupidly asks Ada where Boruto is so they could go chase after him, AFTER LITERALLY ALL THIS JUST HAPPENED

All this JUST HAPPENED and she has the AUDACITY to ask where Boruto is to try and chase after him, THAT was the tipping point for Sumire because this is not the first time Sarada was this annoyingly careless and even after getting humbled STILL repeated the same mistakes and Sumire is understandably fed up with it and calling her out, it was long overdue.

Why does Sarada need to know where Boruto is? what does she plan to do? go after him and then what? help fight the enemies that 1 v everybody like nothing? the same enemy that almost ate her alive? the one Boruto had to save her ass from? and will have to save her ass again?

Sumire is absolutely right, Boruto only struggled and got hurt because THEY were there and he had to keep in mind THEIR presence the entire time, if it was Boruto alone he might could've handled Hidari solo since he clearly doesn't have total mastery over Sasuke's arsenal yet, and he only got sniped because Kawaki stopped him to justifiably question wtf is going on, but again, these things wouldn't have happened if THEY weren't involved, he'd have defeated Hidari and dipped before Jura got a clean shot.

So Sumire is absolutely right, they are, at least currently, a liability to Boruto, they are just in his way, a distraction, as much as they might WANT to help they simply cant, they don't have the power or the means to help him in the way KK and Kawaki can, but that doesn't mean Sarada and Sumire cant help AT ALL in OTHER ways, they just cant help him fight those enemies like Sarada is stupidly suggesting after literally just getting bodied by said enemies and needing saving.

The fact that she is so unselfaware is also highly annoying because she thinks Boruto cant handle these enemies on his own despite him literally saving Hima AND her back to back with seconds to spare and then hard carrying everybody the entire fight and yet STILL had to make time to save Sarada in between charging up Uzuhiko, which he couldn't even do to completion because they couldn't even buy him enough time to so he just went with what he had, which ended up only blowing him in half that only by the grace of Kawaki appearing when he did was Hidari finished off before he healed himself.

This is whats frustrating about Sarada, because even with all this happening right in front of her eyes she still cant take a hint, she still lacks self awareness, something she lacked 3 years ago and still does now, she hasn't developed ONE BIT from then to now.

Even if her running after him is understandable Im not saying it isn't, but she doesn't ever think before she acts, her intent is to help yet she has 0 plan for how, like for example Hinata jumping in to help Naruto, how did she help him? despite knowing she was outmatched, she fought him, lost, but she did throw hands at him to buy Naruto even just a little more time

What did Sarada plan to do? absolutely nothing, she shot a fireball that Kawaki absorbed and then just stood there with a kunai ready while Kawaki approached her and slashed at her, she didn't even activate her Sharingan or get into a fighting stance, she was literally weak kneed and nervous and just waited to be attacked, needing to be saved by the very person SHE went there to save, costing him his eye, and she does ZERO reflection.

You'd think after that type of fumble she'd know better and DO better now but she doesn't, she does the EXACT same thing she did then, she is stupidly trying to run to 'help' Boruto with no danm game plan, even after just being humbled by these enemies she stupidly thinks Boruto actually needs their help despite them being in his way the entire time and holding him back.

Anyway I made my point there so lets move on but its important to why Sumire is getting fed up with her, because it doesn't take rocket science to put together that Boruto left with both his eyes but only lost one after Sarada went to go 'help' him, or hell I wouldn't be surprised if Sarada told her, either way its safe to assume Sumire knows this which is partially why shes irritated with Sarada's lack of self awareness.

First Boruto lost his eye because of her, then Boruto gets badly wounded trying to protect her and everyone else there, now she hears Ada saying Boruto is deliberately avoiding them to not get them involved as much as possible and Sarada stupidly asks for his location completely ignoring the elephant in the room, disregarding Borutos feelings and what just happened entirely because of what SHE wants and Sumire understandably had enough.

So moving on from Saradas lack of self awareness and selfishness, lets move onto what she says about the hug and why its also justified from Sumire's pov.

As a viewer this seems petty but again, you have to see this from Sumire's pov, as I mentioned 3 years ago, all the way back in chapter 19, Sumire approached Sarada FIRST before ever acting on her feelings to see how SHE felt about Boruto first before saying how she felt herself and Sarada told her she had no interest in him and that it doesn't bother her if other girls like him, so in Sumire's eyes she doesn't have to feel awkward about liking Boruto, that she can tell Sarada without causing any hard feelings in their friendship, Sarada GAVE HER that impression.

Sumire gave her the chance to come clean about how she feels, she asked her point blank and Sarada said NO, making Ssumire feel completely comfortable in confessing how she felt and pursuing him.

So for Sarada to give Sumire that impression, then after that run after Boruto as some grand proof of love [doesn't have to be romantic, after all Naruto and Sasuke risked their lives for each other out of love too] only to cost Boruto his eye, then when the whole world turned against Boruto she completely folded under pressure leaving Sumire to pick up all the pieces and holding HER together which is the ONLY reason she even thought of begging Sasuke for help, otherwise she would've left Boruto to die if not for Sumire saying their the only ones who could help him.

After Sasuke goes to save Boruto, we see Sumire by Saradas side supporting her, and before Boruto leaves he asks Ada to thank Sarada for sending Sasuke his way, having NO idea that it was actually Sumire who helped make that happen, nor that shes also unaffected and on his side as well.

3 years later and Sarada hasnt changed at all, all shes done is yap and lose her temper at Shikamaru consistently for 3 yrs straight and then complain to Sumire about it afterwards, she says 'again' implying this is a repeated occurrence that she whines to Sumire about afterwards everytime.

I want you to put yourself in Sumire's shoes, imagine your friend, the only other person you have to count on during this hard time just constantly fumbling, and not just fumbling, but also screwin up in ways that hurts the guy you like as well, but you still try to be a good friend and support her and just bite your tongue to preserve the friendship cuz you don't wanna come off mean or insensitive to their struggles despite you struggling as well and nobodies considering that.

Sumire tolerated Sarada's complete and total lack of consideration for her and how she felt and how shes struggling for 3 whole years, all the while constantly putting up with Sarada's complaining, her outbursts, her reckless behavior, shes remained calm and compassionate through it all because their all they've got to depend on now due to omnipotence, so you would think Sarada would consider Sumire but she DOESNT, instead it is always SUMIRE considering HER but she never receives that in return.

This is why the hug may sound petty on the surface, but that is just one example of a much larger problem.

Like Sumire says, she understands why Sarada acted the way she did, but when she asks did she ever consider how SHE felt, even tho its in reference to the hug, her question applies to everything

When Sarada hugged Boruto infront of her like that, knowing how she felt about him, knowing how worried she was about him too, knowing how relieved she'd be seeing Boruto alive and well too, did those thoughts ever cross her mind? no, because Sarada doesn't think about Sumire or how she feels

For context on why this looks bad from Sumire's pov is because unlike Sumire, Sarada actually SAW Boruto once already before this, SHE got to see Boruto alive and well in person, Sumire didn't, she just heard Boruto was in the village but never got to see him for herself.

It wasnt until chapter 5 where he revealed himself to BOTH of them that Sumire finally got to see Boruto again, and before she could even say or do anything Sarada threw herself at him with no regard for how Sumire was feelings, like she wasn't even there.

You can say Sarada was 'overwhelmed' seeing her friend again because she already saw him, she already knew he was ok, so this wasn't some spur of the moment thing, which is why there's an extra sting from this moment, BECAUSE shes already seen him, had time to process him being ok, had time to feel the relief and joy that Boruto was alive and well and strong enough to scare Code into retreat.

Sumire didnt get any of that tho, so there was probably a lot Sumire wanted to say or do when she finally saw him again, but Sarada didn't give her that chance, it was literally INSTANT before Sumire had even fully turned around she was already running to him.

Im not condemning Sarada for hugging her friend, that's stupid, Im just pointing out from Sumire's pov WHY this moment looked bad and rubbed her the wrong way.

Sumire's question is spot on, whereas Sumire was considerate of Sarada's feelings and understood why she reacted that way and STILL was attentive to how awkward she was feeling and made the effort to ease the tension, Sarada didn't consider Sumire AT ALL in that moment and hasn't been this entire time when you really play it all back.

Here are quotes by Sarada regarding Boruto to Sumire, or about Sumire, see if you notice something.

I only found out...that Boruto had died...after he had already been resurrected. At the time, I didn't even know...that he was in danger. Now that I know...I cant just stand around doing nothing!

But...this? its too cruel! why cant Boruto ever get a break?

But...you saw it too didnt you? if it'd gone badly...Boruto might've died instead of being wounded!

Its too reckless for him...to take on those monsters by himself!

Notice anything? not a single thought about Sumire, not one dialogue directed at her, about her, or how she feels

Now lets look at the same thing but this time from Sumire to Sarada about Boruto or about Sarada.

Stay calm Sarada! dont get flustered! Listen...if Ada finds out about this...it'll likely be bad! Think about it, those who become her captives...cant even think about attacking her! but...the two of us would actually be able to attack her! in short, there's a high possibility...that Ada would deem us security risks!

Sarada no! its too dangerous!

Calm down Sarada, you should be fine, actually you and me both. I don't have it all figured out yet, but given the facts...I'd say that Ada...is involved somehow.

Either way, you and I may be the only ones...who can help Boruto right now. And yet...Im not sure what we can do.

Sarada! you okay!?

Master Konohamaru! protect Sarada!! his target is Sarada! I think-- No, I know it!

Sarada, hang in there! Sarada!

Boruto! This foe is clearly after Sarada! just now...he completely ignored Master Konohamaru...and went for Sarada instead, the moment he saw her!

So many mentions of Sarada, concern, worry, thought for her wellbeing, thought for her mental state, supporting her, there for her.

When you look at all of that, Sumire's quote here really hits hard.

I've...tried to be respectful of your feelings. To understand that you reaction in that moment was to be expected. But...what about you Sarada? when you...were in front of me...did you think about my feelings at all...even just a little bit?

And that right there is what makes Sarada look so bad this chapter, because she DIDNT and when you play it all back, she NEVER has thought about her feelings, not even a little.

I am by no means saying this chapter makes Sarada a horrible person, nor am I saying shes a bad person or friend, but she does have bad friend tendencies that went unaddressed for far too long and its ok to call it out, nobodys perfect, the important thing is whether or not Sarada will finally REFLECT on these flaws and work to change and better herself, only time will tell but for now this opens the door for some much needed development for both of them that I hope Ikemoto doesn't fumble.

[not-a-space-alien]

Two Sides of the Same Coin: Chapter 7

Story Masterpost

On AO3

In this chapter: Karlach has vowed to keep Astairon safe, but being in Avernus poses a not insignificant amount of problems for Astarion's new form.

No warnings for this chapter outside of typical Karlach and Astarion angst.

***

Karlach and Wyll slept, but Astarion didn’t.  He couldn’t even meditate.  Maybe it was because of the unchanging nature of souls bound in soul coins.  Maybe it was because the stupid fucking effigy had no eyelids to close, so all he could do was stare at the ceiling of the tent all night.

Avernus was just outside there, hellfire and devils who’d love to tear him out of this stupid little toy that was the only reason he could see or move at all.  What had he been thinking?  Karlach had promised to protect him, but she’d promised that earlier, too, before all this.  Why would he trust her?  Because he didn’t want to hang around Gale?

…Because Cazador was on the material plane?  And even more powerful now, having completed the ritual to ascend?

Because Cazador would have a field day tormenting him with a fresh, new set of vulnerabilities?  Cazador would be so delighted to have a brand new toy to play with, quite literally.  Cazador had only cut his torture session short to a few days entirely because he couldn’t delay the ritual.  Now that Astarion was a useless trinket, his torment could go on forever and ever.

Astarion rolled over and wiggled his little doll body closer to Karlach’s side.  Karlach had cooled down considerably down here in the hot atmosphere, which was the only reason he could now do that without bursting into flames.  Karlach’s nearby hand had been holding Clive, but the stuffed bear had fallen slightly out of her hand.  She unconsciously shifted in her sleep and held Astarion in Clive’s place, murmuring softly.

Was this really better than taking his chances on the material plane?  Cazador could find him, but he had no reason to believe Astarion was up there.  Maybe he could tolerate Gale viewing him as an object and project.  He felt safer with Karlach, sure, but did he really trust Karlach?  To not view him as an expendable toy?  To not drop him when things got too hard, like everyone had?

To not end up back in some treasure chest, alone?  He’d gone from being metaphorically objectified to literally objectified, and it made him so, so bitter.

“I had nothing for so long. Nothing. Not even my own body. I will not give it up, now it's mine again.” he’d said.  For all the good it’d done him.  No matter what he did to try and protect himself, someone would always come and rip control away from him.  He was doomed.

And what was Gale going to demand for the help he’d provided, in doing this weird little magic charm on Astarion to give him some semblance of a body?  Was he going to perform painful, humiliating experiments?  What was Wyll going to demand, for him to do dangerous tasks down here in Avernus?

What was Karlach going to demand?  What were any of them going to demand?

What did he even have to give?  He couldn’t even reward anyone with sex now, not like this.  He briefly considered trying anyway and immediately started spiraling, trying to imagine having sex with someone like this.  Being even more powerless and breakable than he usually was.

Everyone wanted to hurt him, and it was incredibly easy to do so, now.  He couldn’t help fight.  He couldn’t offer his body.  He had nothing.  And nobody would help someone else for nothing.  When the time eventually came for them to throw him away when they realized he wasn’t worth the effort, he would have nothing, no control over it.

He hated them.

Astarion slowly eased out of Karlach’s hand and toddled as best as he could out of the tent.  If he left now, he could at least have control over the circumstances under which he left.  He wouldn’t have to sit there and wait for the other shoe to drop, for the unfair demands and disappointment to start rolling in.  He wouldn’t have to dread the inevitable abandonment, nor endure Gale, nor look over his shoulder for Cazador.  He would just leave.

He tripped and slid down a rocky embankment, tumbling head over heels across the hot terrain.  Glowing hot coals and volcanic skies flashed past in a blur as he rolled, letting out tense little screams.  He slid to a stop at the bottom, singed and panting, and hit something.

He looked up to see an imp, which had bent over to look at him.  He fell still.  Maybe he could convince it he wasn’t valuable?

It reached for him.  He sprung up and ran as fast as he could, which wasn’t very fast.  The imp hooked a claw around his foot and pulled him back, slamming him into the ground.

This was embarrassing.  Astarion had defeated an elder brain enhanced by Netherese magic.  And now a single imp was a boss battle for him?

“Put me down!” he shouted.

The imp turned him over, prodding at his chest where the soul coin was.

“I said put me down!”  He writhed.

The imp’s head jerked up to a point in space in the distance, and it dropped him and fled at the earth-shaking footsteps that followed.

“Astarion!” Karlach’s voice said.  “There you are!  Oh, thank goodness.”

He rolled over to see her kneeling down beside him.  “Are you all right?”

“I’m–Fine.”

“Good.”  Karlach scooped him up carefully.  “I’m so sorry.  I have no idea how that stupid thing could even get in the tent to get you without waking me up.”  She sounded a little unsure.  Like she didn’t believe it.  Like she wanted Astarion to offer up an explanation.

“I don’t know either,” Astarion said.  “Now take me back.”

Karlach unsurely walked back to the tent, tail drooping.  She set him down next to Clive, then leaned back on her bedroll.

“I’ve had this teddy forever,” Karlach said idly stroking Clive’s threadbare fabric.  “My mum made it for me.  It was the only thing I had for comfort for ages and ages.  Everyone told me he’s a useless little bugger, but just having him around makes me feel better.  You know?”

Astarion’s gaze drifted from Clive to her face.

“I just wanted to make it clear I take good care of those around me, even if I’m not expecting a reward for it or anything.  Just because they make me happy, and I want to keep them around.  Not because they’ll owe me.  You know that, right?”

Did he?  He did, to a certain extent.  Once he slowed down his wild train of thought. Once he really thought about it.  He knew it, but he didn't feel it.

He wordlessly settled in next to Clive.  Still, maybe this wasn't the worst place to be.

***

Karlach and Astarion made a particularly terrible duo, because Karlach needed to take care of those around her and consequently reassured everyone she could handle everything, whereas Astarion felt chronically anxious unless he was clearly needed and therefore unable to be discarded on a whim. The result was Karlach reassuring him it was okay for him to not do anything to earn his keep, which only exacerbated his feelings of vulnerability.

Astarion kept frantically offering things–to sew her clothes, to try and fight against all odds, to sneak into places, and yes, even to cuddle.  He needed to feel needed.  And at every turn, Karlach would assure him they didn’t need that, which was intended to make him feel comfortable and taken care of but which only had the effect of making him feel useless and ratcheting up his anxiety higher and higher.  

And it was already quite high from other things. 

Astarion held on as tightly as his little, altered body would allow.  Firebolts whizzing by singed his hair, and he ducked down into Karlach’s bag.  He was jostled around as Karlach swung behind a rock to take cover.

“All right, Fangs, we'll have them on the run in no time.”

Astarion peeked out of the bag to see Karlach readying her battle-axe.  “Karlach,” he croaked.  “I think we both know this isn't working.”

“What?  No, no, it totally is!  Wyll is flanking them on the right, and we can strike while they're -”

“Not the battle.  Me.”

“You're doing fine, just stick close to me!” Karlach swung around and charged out, swiftly beheading several devils that lined up in front of her.  Astarion clung to her healing potions and waited for the violence to die down, wishing very much that he could convincingly pretend to be enjoying it.  A bloody slaughter was good and all when you were actually able to participate, and not at one-tenth scale.

His yarn hair was only slightly singed and tinted with red by the time they were finished.  “Are you quite finished now?”

Karlach panted and replaced her axe on her back.  “Yeah, just about I think. It'll probably be about two weeks before we can get to the forge, and-”

“I can't do this anymore,” Astarion cried out.  “Karlach, this is unbearable!  I need to get out of Avernus!”

“What?” Karlach said, heart breaking, because how many times has she said that exact thing?  “No, no, you're okay.  I'm not – I won't abandon you!  I already let you down once, I'm not going to do it again!”

“It’s not letting me down!  For gods’ sake!”

Karlach knelt down and took Astarion out of her bag, holding him up.  At this size, every emotion was evident across her face, the tears even more visible.  “I’ll do whatever it takes, Astarion.”

“What is it going to take?  Is my being here actually accomplishing anything?”

Karlach broke eye contact.

“Look, I know you’re–I appreciate your enthusiasm, really I do, but-”

“You didn’t want me to abandon you, and I won’t.”

“Karlach, you must understand not wanting to be in Avernus.  You, of all people.”

Karlach broke down and hugged Astarion to her chest.  Even with his altered doll sensations, the heat was nearly unbearable.  “I do.  I would never want to put you through that.”

“It’s just–If anyone is up to the task, it’s you but–I just don’t belong here.”

“Right.”  Karlach took deep breaths.  “Right.  Okay.  Whatever you want.  Say the word, and I’ll take you back to Gale.”

“Gale.”  Astarion rubbed his yarn hair.  “I hate being an experiment to that wizard.  It’s beneath my dignity.”  Gale alone can’t defend me from Cazador.  He’s a good wizard, but he’s just one wizard.  I have to stay as far from Cazador as possible.

“Okay.”  Karlach wiped her eyes.  “Where to, then?  Where do you think is appropriate for your, um, dignity?”

Snatches of memories of a very broad, bear of an elf and his wagons full of children.  A place that would be well-protected.  “I have it on good authority that the former shadow-cursed lands are home to a sanctuary now that welcomes all kinds.”

***

Taglist:

@whumpsday @appelsiinilight @thatonegothlady