#technical computer repairs

[nerdcorecomputers]

Computer Repairs Melbourne | Nerdcore PC Systems | Call 1300 637 326

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We offer comprehensive computer repair services for all inner suburbs of Melbourne, Victoria. Our team of highly skilled technicians provides fast and reliable solutions for all types of computer problems. Whether your device is running slowly, won't start up, or has a virus, we can help. We specialize in diagnosing and repairing hardware and software issues, as well as providing virus and malware removal services. We are committed to providing quality repairs at affordable prices, and we guarantee our workmanship. Contact us today to schedule a repair appointment.

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The time to plan your computer network installation is before you start construction. Or, at least, before we lay the foundation. Most people are beyond that point with an existing network infrastructure, or one needing to be extended. We will look at your situation and recommend the best option for installing or designing your network backbone.

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Computer Trouble Shooting Services in Inner Suburbs of Melbourne

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When it comes to troubleshooting we can also provide you with the right technical expert to troubleshoot the problem in Inner City Suburbs Of Melbourne Victoria Australia. With a complete team of experts rest assured we can either recommend you a new solution to achieve your technical requirement or resolve your current issue with our experience were sure to resolve the issue fast professionally with no down time at all and of course provide a full report describing what has caused the issue. Most issues are caused because of low maintenance or neglect to administer the current network protocols. Some areas were experienced at are -

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[wandering-wolf23]

Yesterday, my 12 year old laptop died.

This machine was an XPS laptop. It was in perfect working order up until the motherboard decided to die. I've swapped keyboards, screens, batteries, and a track pad on this thing, all with the help of YouTube. I actually wanted to get this machine repaired until I learned it would be about 3 grand for a repair that might work. There would be no guarantee and it would be hard finding someone willing to work on a computer that old.

I'm paying someone for data recovery because he can do it better and quicker. When that's done and I have the hard drive, I'm going to donate my old XPS. It can still be repaired if you have the right part and enough time. People do. I'm donating it to a program that takes old computers like these, fixes them, and gives them to low income students. This computer will probably last another 5 years (or more). Parts for it are easily purchased on Amazon.

My new computer is coming today. It's the same build, just slightly newer. It will last me another 12 years I hope. I will repair it as needed. Parts are easily available on Amazon. It will do everything I need it to and, when it's time, I'll swap it all over to a new computer from that same series.

Being able to repair my own machines has made me an XPS user for life. It allows me to save money and cut down on e-waste. So many people are stunned that my old computer was 12 (the one I had before this was 15 before it failed). We are so used to a society with disposable technology that it's genuinely shocking to people when someone says they fixed their own laptop.

But why should people try? So many laptops are made so you can't just unscrew and pop the back off. So many computers are made to fail after two, three, or four years. So many computers are made to force you to buy a new one for whatever capitalist bullshit reason.

I'll gladly pay extra for right to repair and a solid build with easily available replacement parts. That's what's important to me.

[tanyafreemont]

hate it when computers work normally and perfectly. its not right. girl where is your specific ritual which only the owner knows

[mobilecomputerrepairusa]

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[laamlaptop]

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[jakesimfromstatefarm]

──── YOURS . ↳ one shot // also part of the no doubt series !

✎ᝰ .ᐟ aka everything you're wearing is his, but yet, he's the adorable one

── sim jaeyun x f!reader ౨ৎ wc. 914 ⌗ fluff fluff fluff, crack, banter

↳ IMPORTANT NOTE .ᐟ ── this is part of my no doubt series ─ a sequel series of short drabbles that take place after the events of my fic no doubt, and show jake & reader's relationship throughout their first year together (& how jake wins her trust & love back hehe) ── THIS CAN BE READ AS A ONE-SHOT, however, there will be some easter eggs if you've read no doubt before!

↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── the first part of the no doubt series! keeping it short, sweet, & SIMPle for the first one (emphasis on the simp bc jake really is one for y/n) im so so so obsessed with this jake pls

It’s raining.

Not the dramatic, down-pouring, confess-your-love-in-the-rain-moment type of rain.

But just a soft drizzle—enough to send people scurrying home and definitely still enough to wet your clothes and damage your belongings…(you’re learning this the hard way). 

The sleeves of your hoodie (read: Jake’s hoodie because, technically, he let you borrow it once so, naturally, he never got it back) are damp at the ends, your phone is hanging on for its dear life at three percent, and your last bus home? 

Just left. 

So, yeah.

You’re kind of screwed. 

You tuck your hands into your sleeves, pull your hood up, and pray you bought laptop insurance that will cover the costly repairs of a water-damaged computer, and begin to accept your wet fate when—

Screech. 

A car pulls up right in front of you.

Not just any car. 

Familiar.

Black. 

And very, very, dramatic. 

The window rolls down. 

“You forgot an umbrella?” 

Jake is looking at you with an exasperated look that says you just personally insulted him.

“I literally told you it was going to rain today. You’re going to get sick, and somehow, it’s gonna be my fault.” 

His hair is a little messy—like he rushed here (he did).

He’s still in his sweats—like he didn’t even change before getting in the car (he didn’t).

Your stomach flips at the sight.  

“How did you—”

“You texted me that you were at the café,” he says, like it’s obvious. “And I know you only ever go to this café, so I checked their hours. They close at six. It’s 6:27, and you never texted me that you got home.” 

You blink.

Your heart flutters dangerously. 

You open your mouth. Then close it. Then open again. 

“You were…keeping track?”

Jake scoffs, “Of course I was keeping track. Who else is gonna make sure you don’t, I don’t know, get kidnapped or something?”

You snort, making your way around to the other side of the car, “Dramatic, much?”

Jake ignores you, reaching over the console to push open the passenger door, “Get in before I lose my mind.”

You bite back your growing smile as you slide into the seat, immediately engulfed by the warm heater blasting and the smell of his cologne lingering in the air. The second your door closes, Jake is already reaching over into the backseat, muttering endlessly to himself about the very, very real possibility of adult kidnap and how you never know if—

A towel lands onto your lap. 

You freeze, blinking at the soft material, then back up at Jake.. 

“...Did you just…have this ready?” 

Jake blinks back at you as if caught guilty. His ears are pink.

You think he’s the cutest being in this entire world. 

“Just dry off, please,” he mutters. 

You giggle softly, patting down your hair with the towel, “What, no hot chocolate to warm me up while you’re at it?” 

Jake exhales, and tilts his head back dramatically against his seat, his eyes landing on you. 

“Y/N, if you dry up properly for me, I will literally drive you to any store right now and buy you every single hot chocolate flavor you want.” 

You pause. A slow smile grows. 

“Even the expensive imported kind from Germany that you think is too sweet and too thick?” 

“Y/N.”

You start laughing, the sound breathless and literally music to his ears, still toweling off, when—

A new weight suddenly settles over your shoulders.

You glance down.

Jake’s jacket.

It’s warm.

And it smells like him.. 

Jake turns back towards the steering wheel and shifts the car’s gears, aggressively pretending like he didn’t just casually ruin you with such a simple move. 

Your heart is pounding.

You glance down at the fabric, then up at Jake. 

His hands are gripping the wheel a little too tight. His leg is bouncing slightly. His jaw is clenched and his eyes are focused on the road ahead of him. Too focused. 

Like he’s nervous.

A small smile teases at your lips. Your fingers toy at the edges of his jacket. 

“You’re adorable, you know that?” you murmur.

Jake lets out a quiet laugh, avoiding your gaze, “You say that as if you’re not literally sitting there wearing everything that’s mine, and I’m the adorable one?” 

You huff, rolling your eyes as you shift in your seat, facing him fully, “You also know you don’t have to keep doing all this, right? The little gestures? Proving yourself to me?” 

At that, he finally turns to look at you as the car rolls to a stop at a red light.

His eyes are warm. Soft—twinkling with something unspoken, yet impossible to deny.

"Y/N," he mumbles, his free hand reaching over, wrapping gently around yours. His thumb brushes over your skin, softly, slowly, deliberate. "I'm not trying to prove anything. I just care about you. That's it. That's all."

Your breath catches slightly.

And then—he gives you that small, lopsided smile. The one you've seen a million times before, except now, it feels different.

Like it's always been meant for you in a way it never has before.

“But," he adds, voice steady. “If I do have to prove it to you every single day, I will."

Your fingers tighten around his.

God, you’re so doomed.

Jake’s expression softens even more before he turns back to the road, adding casually, “Even if it means saving you from catching a deadly cold or getting kidnapped in broad daylight.” 

You let out a snort, rolling your eyes. 

“I hate you.” 

He grins.

“No, you don’t.” 

Then, without thinking, you lean over and press a soft kiss to his shoulder, your words mumbled into the material of his sweatshirt.

“Thank you, Jakey.” 

Jake grins even wider, like he just won the lottery.

And honestly?

He definitely did.

no doubt m. list || next >>

tag list! (open ! // bolded couldn't be added!) @bluxjun @ki2rins @why-did-i-just-do-this @favoritten @lovialymisc @xylatox @vivimura @leehsngs @puma-riki @lezzleeferguson-120 @enhaprettystars @laurradoesloveu @sievenderz @somuchdard @kristynaah @hinryh @ltfirecracker @lov4hoon @fangirl125reader @0429jw @dreamy-carat @yuons @thestarinstarbucks @miszes @llearlert @ppeachyttae @hoomin10 @teddybeartaetae @tanisha2060 @therealmrsbahng @beomgyu-bears @ikeulove @jiyeons-closet

[foone]

Have you heard about the Polish Train company, Newag, and the bullshit it turns out they got up to?

So, the regional rail operator Koleje Dolnośląskie bought some Newag Impuls back in 2016 . In late 2021, some of them need to have major maintenance done, as they've been in service a while. So the company SPS (Serwis Pojazdów Szynowych) gets the contract to fix them. They basically take the train apart, replace a bunch of it, following all the rules in the documentation Newag gave them, and... it won't move. The train says everything is fine, the brakes are off, there's plenty of power, but you push the throttle up and it won't move.

SPS spends a while trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong, with no luck. So they hire some hackers from the Polish security group Dragon Sector. Dragon Sector figures out how to get into the code of the computer system that runs the train, and OH MY GOD.

So it turns out there's a secret train-lock system. If it's on, the train won't move. This will be triggered in some situations you might think are normal: the clocks are wrong, the serial numbers of the various parts have changed, and a firmware mismatch between the main computer and the power system. Now, the fact that it makes sense to not run the train in these situations until someone can check it? that doesn't extend to the fact the train uses a SECRET lock system, rather than just popping up an error message telling you what's wrong. There's also the problem that while these are all potential error problems, they can't be cleared by anyone with the technical manuals, which are supposed to cover everything about how to run these trains. Only Newag themselves can reset this system.

Which, you know, keeps SPS from properly fixing them. Only Newag can fix them now, but not because SPS lacks any technical ability, but because Newag sabotaged their own trains. But don't worry: it gets worse.

So now that Dragon Sector knows what's happening, they get to look at other trains. It turns out the trains aren't all running the same software, and there are other tricks in there.

One of them is a "how long has the train been stopped?" check. If the train hasn't hit 60 km/h in 10 days, the train locks itself and won't move until Newag can clear it. So, like, if a train is ever out of service, like it's going to a repair place... it'll break itself. Unless the repair place is owned by Newag.

But two of the trains go further: See, these trains have GPS built in, right? You may be able to guess where this is going...

THEY JUST MAKE THE TRAIN CHECK IF IT IS PARKED AT THEIR COMPETITORS' REPAIR YARD AND BREAK ITSELF IF IT WAS.

The sheer audacity of this move. This is frighteningly bullshit anti-competition self-sabotage.

This has, obviously, made some parts of the Polish government to start investigating this. Newag may be (and hopefully will be) in a lot of trouble.

For more info, there's a great video of a presentation by the three people from Dragon Sector who did the hacking, which was presented at the 37th Chaos Communication Congress in Germany.

Ars Technica also has an article on it, but it predates the presentation so it doesn't have some of the later details.

Anyway, the good news is that in the end the hackers at Dragon Sector were able to unlock most of the trains: A few had additional trickery that they didn't want to hack around, because it might break the train's certification. For the others, they discovered undocumented "cheat codes" in the software that they could use to bypass the secret lockouts... presumably the same ones that Newag would have used when they "repaired" trains.

[seraphont]

Jessa ship is technically illegal because if J was repaired by Tessa, that makes Tessa her mom. You should be ashamed

my bad, I forgot fixing a computer you found in the scrapyard was the same as the joys of childbirth

[nerdcorecomputers]

Nerdcore Computers offers onsite computer repairs to businesses around Australia. Our team of data recovery experts, Business it experts, networking engineers, it business consultants are ready to assist your staff with any it issues your business is faced with.

The Nerdcore Group technicians have the right training and experience to handle all networking issues, no matter how big or small. We can consult with your business to set up a local, national or global network, or we can come to your home to get your computer talking to your smart tv and your TV talking to your smart fridge – if it’s one of those Jazzy ones

[fancyfeathers]

Always Prey But Never A Bird

Based on the Yandere Batfam w/ Wife/Mother!Darling & Daughter/Sister!Darling series

Chapter One -> Next Chapter

“Welcome back from patrol, Miss Songbird, that’s what the press is calling you right?” your boots rang out against the metal floor of the warehouse that you and your so called group of misfits called home, all runaways, all some sort of vigilante, none of you knew each other's real names and nor did you need to, it would just bring back bad memories for most of you and for all of you it gave plausible deniability it anyone ever came looking. You spotted the one you all called Foxglove sitting on one of the couches in the warehouse, she was the one who was talking to you as you walked in. Foxglove is a young woman, your age give or take a few months, long red hair and blue eyes, she was a tall young woman, probably from around Central City from where you could place her voice, but none of that really mattered, the past did not matter, only the here and the now. “Hard night or nah?”

“Not really, I just avoided a run in with Red Robin, he almost spotted me when I was on the Madison Street bridge, I almost crashed my bike trying to avoid him this time.” You spoke to her as you took off your mask, peeling it away from the skin by your eyes. Your suits and gear were gifts from someone you had saved from a hostage situation, a wealthy businessman from Coast City, Mark Austen, he had sponsored your work with no strings attached except a friendly relationship so if you needed help just ask and vise versa with him, he came by every month or so to drop of a shipment of gear and repairs and he did know your nicknames and faces but certainly not your real names, well knew yours due to your paths crossing before but that was another life. You sat down on the couch across from Foxglove, your body falling down with a heavy thump, you would need a replacement soon, you should ask Mark on the next shipment of supplies. You cracked your neck and threw your head back on the backrest of the couch with a heavy sigh. “Also, please don’t call me that, it makes me sound like one of them and not one of us, ya know?”

“You mean like one of the bats and birds? I mean that’s fine I guess.” She groaned, laying back on the couch and crossing her legs over the armrest. She was off of patrol for the next few weeks, got shot a few days back by one of Black Mask’s men and got her foot pretty messed up, so she has been on communication links and the technical sides of things. “I don’t get why you won’t work with them at all, I mean even Clove and Nettle have sucked up to work with the Bat. It’s a personal history, I’m right aren’t I?”

“You're rarely wrong.” 

“Were you one of them? Like one of the Bat’s birds?” 

“...Kind of… I…I… wasn’t… one of them exactly.” You choked on your words as a sudden weight on your chest sparked up yet again, a weight you have not felt in a very long time. How long has it been since you left them? Three years, maybe four? You brought your legs up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them and hugging yourself close as your eyes fixed upon one of the tinted out windows of the warehouse. “I… I don’t like talking about it.”

“Oh… I didn’t mean… I’m sorry if I brought up any bad memories.” She apologized to you, her more relaxed tone falling into a deep pit of sympathy to you. There was a beeping from the laptop that sat on the coffee table between the two of you, the one that she had been using to watch the communication line, someone was calling in. She grabbed the computer and answered the line, catching your attention as you listened in. “Clove, Foxglove and Nightshade here, what’s your status?”

Right… Nightshade… that was your name now.

“Ya, Henbane and I have a bit of a situation here…” Clove’s voice cuts through the line and there was a bit of unease in her voice as she spoke to you both. “We’re down Southside, by the docks, there was supposed to be that shipment tonight… that was a front, there is a lady here who wants to meet.”

“Well Nettle is up by Gotham University at the moment and I am stuck here at base with my foot-”

“No she just wants to meet with Nightshade- or she called her Songbird anyway, says she knows her.” Clove’s words made you prick up, no one has known any of you for years, you all ran away and when you did you all became nameless. “I don’t think she is one for negotiation but I also don’t think she’ll let us leave unless Nightshade is here.”

“Can you tell us what she looks like-”

“Don’t, I know who it is, or a very good guess at least.” You stood up from the couch and grabbed your mask once again and pressed it back onto your skin as you made your way back to the warehouse garage. “Turn on my spare tracker just in case anything goes wrong, Foxglove. I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

“Do you think she’ll kill you?”

“She wouldn’t dare.”

________________________

You pulled your bike over in an alley as you neared the trackers that were on Clove and Henbane, tucking it behind a dumpster so no one would see it while you were away. The docks were dead this time of night, there was a drug bust last night by Batman so the docks were dead in case he was still lurking about tonight, but you knew he was not, you knew him better than that. You walked down the cement road, following it as you neared the water, according to their trackers Henbane and Clove were by the north east waterside of the docks.

“About damn time you showed up, Nightshade.” You looked up to see Clove leaning up against a warehouse wall, Henbane next to her. Clove was an innocent looking girl, she was fourteen maybe fifteen when you all started, so now she was just barely an adult if that, she looked like a terrified lamb with her short wavy brown hair and eyes, her freckles and round glasses. Henbane was not as innocent looking as his best friend, he was a big guy, six foot, five inches, curly brown hair and green eyes, and just pure muscle. They walked over to you, Clove looking a lot more terrified than her counterpart, she was normally the one on communication links. “She hasn’t said anything since we called and just has been standing there, waiting.”

You glanced behind them, and just ten yards or so away stood a silhouette of a powerful looking female frame, only the shape was visible in the darkness of the Gotham night. You took a deep breath in and out and took a step forward, pushing away Henbane’s hand when he tried to stop you, you glanced at him and Clove, not even bothering to force a smile at them, time for that sort of thing was long lost. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine, just wait here.”

They nodded before you walking off, your heart pounding in your chest as you neared her, it was the first time in years that anyone has found you, you knew that your family had been searching for you since you left but they never found you, on both sides of things, with and without masks. But really you shouldn’t be surprised that she was the one who found you first, she was not a part of them exactly but she cared for you nonetheless, if you can call it caring. You came to stand next to her, looking over the still waters of the night. You saw her turn to you out of the corner of your eye, you felt her hand come up onto your cheek gently caressing your skin before reaching for the mask and peeling it away from your skin, revealing your face before both of her hands came up your face to turn your head to look at her.

“You’ve grown so much.”

“Hello Talia.” Seems like you were right about who was waiting for you, none other than the daughter of the demon, Talia Al Ghul. You would need to get in touch with Mr. Austen sooner or later and see what he could do about shutting down the media on you and your friends, you needed to stay nameless. You pushed her hands away from your face, grabbed your mask from her hands and pressed it back onto your face. “Make this quick, this is on your son’s patrol route and he’ll be here soon-”

“He is also your brother if you had forgotten.”

“And yet, you are not my mother.” You glared at her, eyes narrowing at her as she turned to look back over the moonlit waters. “I will ask you one more time, what do you want, Talia?”

“You remind me of your father.”

“Fuck this, I’m heading back to base.” Right as you turned to head back to your bike she grabbed your wrist, holding you back, you should not try to fight her, she could break every bone in your body if she wanted to, she would not do such a thing, not to you, but she certainly could. You snapped at her verbally, your voice like daggers. “What?”

“Something dangerous is brewing in Gotham, something beyond what you and your… friends can handle.” She glanced over to where Henbane and Clove were standing, just out of earshot before looking back at you. “Go back home tonight, my dear.”

“Or what?”

“If you leave me no choice, then I will wait here until my Damian arrives here on his patrol and tell him about who is behind that mask you wear.” 

she released your hand and you stepped away from her, glancing back at her after she spoke, just looking her over, she certainly was not bluffing about this. You turned away from her, walking away, back to Clove and Henbane as you called out to her. “Well I better get a headstart then.”

“You are making a mistake, dearest.”

“I have made plenty of those before and I am still alive, Talia.” You heard her sigh and you waved back towards your friends and you just knew they would be asking a million questions after your conversation but you pressed your finger to Clove’s mouth as she was about to peep. “I’ll explain later, get a hold of Foxglove and get her to tell everyone to get back to base now.”

“But Nettle is-”

“No buts, we don’t have any time to fight on this, we need to regroup and I need to fill you all in about… more than a few things.”

________________________

“So what’s this emergency meeting all about, something Nightshade got caught in?” Nettle questioned, everyone was sitting around the kitchen table, well the only proper dining table you had in the warehouse. Nettle was a short young man, you all took him in about a year ago, seventeen now, short blonde hair and green eyes, he was the one who had the most known backstory out of all of you, and that was you all knowing he was from Metropolis, you didn’t ask questions and you did not need to know. 

“More like my past coming back to haunt me.” You sighed and crossed your arms, sitting on top of the kitchen counter, feeling a need to physically distance yourself while you gathered your thoughts. “You all have been in Gotham for quite some time, but I was born here and well a few things have come to the surface.”

“What things?” 

You sighed at Henbane’s question, you reached into your pocket and pulled out your phone, it was a  burner from Mr. Austen because god knows you cannot have something for them to find you. You had opened up to a news article about a disappearance from a number of years ago, your disappearance. You set it in the middle of the table for all of them to read the headline at least and see the photo underneath that. “My old family, if you can call them that, knows my identity as of around three or so hours ago.”

All of them just stared at the headline for a long moment, Clove was glancing between you, the phone, and everyone else to see their reactions before her gaze fell back to rest upon you. “You’re one of Bruce Wayne’s kids?”

“Yep, I am his youngest daughter and biological child.”

“And we should be afraid of Bruce Wayne, why? He is just some rich playboy-”

“No he is not.” you cut Foxglove off and everyone’s heads turned to you. “The whole rich playboy persona is a cover up, he… he… he’s the Batman, the Dark Knight of Gotham, whatever you want to call him.”

“So wait, are your siblings like Nightwing or Robin?!”

“Wait, were you a Robin?”

“She couldn’t have been, Henbane was the one who taught her how to fight… right?”

“Is this why you don’t like the Bats?”

“I… just one at a time, please.” You asked your friends as they suddenly bombarded you with questions and statements and they all hushed at your request. “First of all, yes, those are my brothers, but I wished they weren’t. Secondly, no I was never a Robin or whatever, I didn’t want to be and even if I wanted I would not be allowed to be, I never learned how to fight, they thought they were protecting me.”

“Weren’t they?” Nettle questioned you, glancing about the table for approval from the others. 

“They did not… I… let me explain.” You jumped back onto the counter, crossing your legs and sitting down on it. You took a deep breath in and out, closing your eyes and taking a minute to calm yourself. “What I am about to tell you brings back some bad memories and it took a long time and some help from Mr. Austen to connect all the dots on this since a lot of it my mom didn’t want me to know because I was young and she wanted to protect me…” “It’s okay.” You heard Henbane’s voice tell you, like he could practically hear your heart racing. “Take as much time as you need, none of us like to think about the past.”

“I’m fine… I’ve had a long time to come to terms with this… but thank you.” You opened your eyes and smiled at your friend and his intimidating frame was not frightening to you, not anymore, actually it never was, he was the one who found you alongside Foxglove when you managed to sneak away during a charity gala, they found you in that alleyway not long after they found each other. “My mother was engaged to Bruce Wayne a long time ago, before the first Robin, Dick Grayson, even came around and when he was just starting really as the Bat. My mom loved him, but if they ever had any kids she didn’t want them to be involved or hurt by anything he got involved with, she didn't want that sort of life. So she called off their engagement and left him, and like clockwork she found out she was pregnant with me a few days later.”

“She raised you by herself?” You nodded at Clove’s question and a deep look of pity came across her face. “That must have been so hard for her.” 

“Don’t we… not gonna lie we were filthy rich, we were just fine with my mom’s own money.” That comment drew a laugh from Henbane and Foxglove along with an embarrassed chuckle from Clove. “My mom was a really great mother and an even better single parent, I was always by her side, she took me all around the world and it was just us for a really long time. Then one day we returned to Gotham for some big charity party when I was seven I think and she saw Bruce again and he saw me… I was young and naive to the dangers of the world like most other children, but then again the children in his life had been right with him fighting crime, I mean that woman at the docks, she is my half-brother’s mother, she is the daughter of the leader of the League of Assassins, Talia Al Ghul…”

“...are you serious?” There was a shocked silence in the room after you said that before Henbane spoke up and you nodded to his question, he just stared off as he leaned back into his chair. “Jesus Christ…”

“Ya, he is now the current Robin, Damian Wayne, trained by the League of Assassins- but that is another story, sorry I was rambling. Anyway he never got over my mom and now that I was around he wanted to protect us and I know my siblings may have been the ones to kind of prove his point with that. I know my oldest brother, Dick, tried to talk to my mom about that but that didn’t work and so then Tim, he… he started to look into my mom to find blackmail.”

“To blackmail your mother.”

“Right on the money, Clove. So when it was the day before we were supposed to leave and this part is actually my fault… I ran away from my nanny and I almost got kidnapped and I got saved by the Red Hood-”

“Wait, is the Red Hood also-”

“My brother? ya, he is, his name is Jason… he was actually pretty nice to hang out with, him and my sister Cass, Cassandra Cain. I remember after he rescued me, Jason took me to Wayne Manor and I met my father for the first time and I remember it was nice, until it wasn’t… I remember my fath- Bruce coming back later that night with my mom, they were going to get married and it just felt off. I knew something was wrong, I just didn’t know what until it became clear to me over the years, Damian threatening my classmates at school when I was kid when they only wanted to have lunch with me, or when I found a file upon file about me and my mom and photos of us in Tim’s room, or hell when I got a boyfriend he almost got strangled by Damian and got his life threatened, and when I punched a kid at school I got sent to Bludhaven to live with my brother, Dick, or there was the time I was… I was having sex with my boyfriend and for that I got locked in my room for over a month and then… actually I don’t like talking about that.” You sighed and let your shoulders relax, looking over your friends and gauging their shocked and disturbed reactions. “You all get the idea now, and so as of a few hours ago they know I am still here in Gotham and who I am behind the mask, thanks to Talia Al Ghul who I have an… interesting relationship with.”

“But why?”

“I refused to go home, thanks to the feed that has been shown on news she found me and well she is going to tell them, or rather she has already.” You glanced over to the evidence board that is over on the far end of the warehouse, by all of your gear and the bikes, well you and Clove were the only one with bikes, Mr. Austen was working on an armored car for the others since you can Clove were the only one to know about motorbikes, you from the times you snuck into the Batcave or when Jason brought you down to hang out while he worked or even when Kate Kane snuck you out on hers. “She told me that something dangerous is in Gotham, beyond us, but then again I do not know if she would lie about that or not… it’s been awhile since I last saw Talia… she was very fond of my mother, kind of like my dad is of my mom.” 

“So what now? If something like that is here we can’t team up with the Bats anymore, that would be crazy to risk losing one of our own.” Nettle added in looking at everyone around the room. “And plus they know we know you and where you are.”

“So we just need to be more cautious on patrols, we have a shipment from Mr. Austen coming in tonight before patrols. I can see if he will be willing to help us out, teach him the communication lines so when my foot is healed I can head out with the rest of you.” Foxglove spoke up to Nettle’s concern before she looked at you. “Then I am guessing from what you said, Mr. Austen already knows.”

“Ya, he recognized me the moment of that first delivery when I was out of my suit, he is a friend so we can trust him.”

“Mkay… wait a second…” Foxglove paused and looked at you, an idea already coming to her mind. “If they know you are still in Gotham now then you don’t have to hide anymore. I mean how many press are going to recognize you four years later and the Bats aren’t out during the day besides Signal but you aren’t in costume during the day so it’s not like he can interact with you at all unless he wants to expose himself.”

“Wait, what are you saying?”

“You can head out during the day, find allies, I mean you couldn’t before cause your family is still in Gotham and didn’t know you’re here and Nettle can’t still because he only went missing a year ago and would be too recognizable, but the rest of us can.” Foxglove grabs one of the writing pads from the table and a loose pen, waking you all over to gather ‘round as she begins scribbling down a schedule, or something along those lines. “We don’t leave the warehouse alone, groups of two or more now, the Bats will connect the dots but none of us have civilian identities anymore, I mean hell, Mr. Austen calls us the nameless, no one will know or recognize us anymore. I am stuck here for now cause of this foot, but when I am free to move, Henbane is with me on the streets and Clove is with you, Nightshade, but until then both of you are to stick with Nightshade, and then Nettle and I will hold up the fort here.”

“So then… where to now?” Clove questioned, looking at you, or more specifically, looking you up and down, clearly judging your appearance of sweatpants and a tee shirt since you have pretty much been in hiding for four years, not much need for nice clothes. “Actually some different clothes would do you some good, c’mon, I’ll lend you some of mine and we can ask Mr. Austen for some cash to go shopping when he swings by later tonight.”

“Our sugar daddy.”

“No, more like our rich wine aunt who spoils us.”

“How about we just call him our benefactor?”

“No.” 

________________________

Luckily your rich benefactor gave you more than supplies for vigilantism, but also supplied you more everyday transportation and funds for those sort of normal items, like a licenced bikes along with your armored ones for your use, along with fake ID cards, but you really did not need those anymore, you could even park in a parking garage, that felt weird to you now. You could not remember the last time you stood in a coffee shop line, maybe the last time Barbara and Dick took you out, you felt so flustered that Clove had to order for you. 

“Hey, don’t beat yourself over if, I remember the first time Foxglove and I headed out to the streets for the first time, it felt like a whole other world, it just takes time to get used to.” Henbane tried to comfort you as you walked out of the coffee shop, drinks in hand. “Clove was also a fish out of water.”

“It just feels weird to be out here, like normal.” 

“Well, we’ll get you back to normal soon enough.” Clove patted you on the back and you forced a smile before staring down at your iced coffee, this felt nice, it felt normal. “Any other place you need to stop by before heading back to the warehouse.”

“...Actually ya…” You looked up at Henbane and Clove, taking a deep breath in and out. “Call me crazy… but I want to go see my mom.”

“Your mom… wait, that means going back to Wayne Manor-”

“Clove, I haven’t seen her in four years, please.” You looked your friend dead in the eye and smiled, one of hope for a change. “They’ll respect a truce, especially with what I know from Talia, I don’t think she would have given a warning when she only wanted me to try to get me out of the way of it, besides maybe some of the leads we have for out cases connect to what’s coming and she knew and that’s why she wanted us out of the way.”

“I…fine, but we’re going in with you.” Clove responded before Henbane could and she shot a look at him when he tried to. “We’ll send word to Foxglove and Nettle along with Mr. Austen, so if anything goes south they’ll know where to find us and besides don’t they?”

“They do, but still Nightshade, we need to stay safe and this-”

“I’ll be fine, after all we do have leverage.”

“And if you’re not fine?”

“Then I’ll be safe from whatever Talia warned me about.”

________________________

Your bikes pulled up to the gate of Wayne Manor, it had been years since you saw the grounds you used to live at and none of it has changed, it has the same sprawling grounds, the same iron and brick fence, and surely the people inside have not changed much either. It took you a moment before you heard the intercom buzz next to the gate, luckily it was just audio and motion, not camera. 

“It’s… it’s me, I’m here to talk.”

You could practically hear the shocked silence from the other end of the line before the gate swung open and you could pull forward before it shut behind the three of you. By the time you pulled up to the front door and took off your helmets the door of the manor had flung open and you saw Dick as the first one standing there, staring at you, he looked like he was about to cry at the sight of you. At the sight of someone, both Clove and Henbane tensed up, ready to jump in front of you at a moment’s notice, Dick quickly caught onto their defensive behavior and his eyes narrowed at them, glancing between the two of them.

“Talia told Damian last night… Please tell me it’s not true.” As Dick spoke those words, his eyes fell on you just as you could make out the silhouettes of everyone else in the doorway, minus Duke, he must be on patrol. Damian and Tim came just next to Dick, they really didn’t look much different from how you last saw them, more tired maybe, you could spot Jason, Stephanie, and Cassandra behind them, and it felt like you could practically hear Bruce’s footsteps from inside the manor. “Please… you can’t be.”

“It is true…” The air left your throat as you saw a muscular figure push past his children and there in the doorway you make eye contact with him, your father, Bruce Wayne. His gaze left like death by a thousand cuts, but you swallowed your fear and looked him dead in the eye as it felt he was daring you to say that again. “I am not lying, after all my mother taught me better than that.”

You heard your father sigh and rub his temples with his forefinger and thumb as he walked down the stairs, he was still acting like you were a child and the life you lived for the past four years has just been a game you have been playing with your friends at recess. “Let’s get you inside and we can talk this over while Alfred gets your room ready.”

When he reached out and grabbed your wrist you felt yourself stiffen up and there was not a moment of pause before Henbane reached out for his throat, a big mistake. Without skipping a beat, you saw your father release you and reach out and grab your masculine friend’s arm and flip him onto his back and then the next thing you knew you were pushed behind Clove as she had pulled out her handgun and had it pointed at your father’s head, another mistake, but it seemed your father was more in a negotiation mood. He glared down at Clove, looking her dead in the eye behind her thick glasses. “Put the gun down.”

“No-”

“Clove, put down the gun.”

“You said this was going to be a visit! I don’t want to lose you-”

“Clove, please!” You were practically begging your friend at this point, you could practically hear her heavy breathing as she was on the point of tears and breaking down and sobbing. “Clove...”

You just watched your father grab the gun from your friend’s hands, tossing it on the ground. He looked back to your siblings in the doorway. “Dick, Jason,  get them inside and sit her down, she needs to calm down.”

“But-”

“Now!”

Dick didn’t argue any further and he walked down the front steps and ushered Clove inside, talking to her as if she was a citizen in distress, meanwhile Jason just practically picked up Henbane over his shoulder and carried him inside as if he was just a giant sack of potatoes. 

What vigilantes you all were.

You felt Bruce’s hand come to rest upon your shoulder and you looked him in the eye as he smiled at you, it should be comforting, a fatherly smile, but you just hated that look, it just always made you feel like there was a pit in the bottom of your stomach and you wanted to vomit. 

“You’re back home-”

“I’m not staying.” you cut him off and slapped his hand away. You glared at him, gritting your teeth behind your lips. “I only came because I was warned about something dangerous and because Talia’s actions have let me walk outside again. So you would be wise to not to do anything, because if me or my friends aren’t back before patrol tonight then I promise you all of Gotham will know who the Batman is along with the rest of you, and do not try me on this because I promise you I am not nor even was that helpless little girl you pictured me as.”

“...Fine, we’ll discuss this inside.”

[sightseertrespasser]

I keep meaning to ask and keep forgetting to. What exactly is a crash? The way I have it figured is that it’s somewhere between passing out and a seizure, though it’s kinda hard to tell when everyone treats it a little differently

So I’ve seen crashes written with varying levels of severity depending on what the writer needs it to be.

For my setting, I treat crashes as something that could technically affect any cybertronian but is very rare outside of individuals with certain conditions.

In human terms, crashes can be as be as mild as a Petit Mal (or absence) seizure, with brief lapses in attention and confusion. All the way up to a massive stroke requiring immediate hospitalization. That’s just to compare how serious they are to a bunch of alien computer people.

Since crashes are their own thing, I have my own guide to how they work. Also, I encourage everyone to play with the concept themselves.

Crashes! What are they?

Causes: Cybertronians basically have computers for brains, so the things that make actual computers crash are what you’d expect to cause a Cybertronian to crash.

Most commonly,

- Overheating (#1 cause, similar to heatstroke)

- Hardware issues (I.e. something got physically damaged in there)

- Malware/viruses (akin to getting poisoned or on brain damaging drugs)

Those are what the average cybertronian has to watch out for. For most people, these are all external factors that can simply be avoided or are caused by someone’s deliberate actions (I.e. getting kicked in the head real hard).

Now, Prowl has a Tacnet. As do his brothers, which I’ll get into later. Tacnet is essentially a super computer jammed into a regular processor. It’s primary function is to crunch numbers and it is very good at that. Tacnet also opens up its mechs to an additional way to experience Crashes:

- Logic cascades.

In which Tacnet gets stuck on a problem, pulling in more and more resources to try and solve it until either it does the job, or some load bearing element is compromised resulting in a crash.

Usually, logic cascades simply result in crash via overheating, which is normally very treatable. The difference with a logic cascade, is that Tacnet does not stop trying to solve the problem. A doctor can bring a mechs temperature down, but the second their processor isn’t literally physically melting, Tacnet goes right back into using all of the resources available to it to solve the problem.

Symptoms: Crashes can be very dangerous because it is effectively a form of brain damage.

Overheating can cause wires and delicate components to melt and fail.

Hardware issues can mean much of the same, but pieces are already explicitly broken and elements that are absolutely not supposed to touch are crunched together.

Malware might be designed to cause overheating as well, or maybe reroute power inside to blow fuses and cripple other components.

Regardless of the cause, someone who’s crashing is going to be severely struggling to think clearly and maybe loose control of body functions if the parts related to motor control are affected. Sudden changes in mood, lapses in memory, difficulty communicating, difficulty concentrating, paralysis, failure to regulate bodily functions such as venting and fuel pumps etc, etc.

Basically everything that could go wrong from having your brain messed up.

Tacnet crashes specifically don’t usually effect the life support systems until it’s already at catastrophic levels. The primary symptom of a Tacnet crash is a complete and total mental arrest of the subject at its final stages before the aforementioned “catastrophic level”.

Treatment: For the first three causes, the treatment is fairly straightforward.

- Cool down the processor.

- Repair the damage.

- Purge the malware.

Of course, Tacnet has to be a special case. To fully undo a Tacnet crash, a doctor has to essentially get into the mechs processor and manually find and delete the rapidly multiplying and branching logic branches until they get back to the source code of the issue and remove that too. This requires speed, precision and endurance on part of the doctor. The affected individual can eventually start to fight back against the logic cascade themselves once they have some control of their processor back. Manually deleting splitting logic branches themselves.

Prowl has gotten very good at this! Which is kind of a bad thing, since that means he only gets help when it’s already gotten extremely bad.

So why don’t Bluestreak and Smokescreen regularly crash if they are also susceptible to logic cascades?

It’s because they essentially only use their Tacnets for “solvable” equations. They can still be overwhelmed, or get stuck on impossible, incompatible data. But usually it’s just a brief freezing up before going back to normal.

Smokescreen regularly uses his for calculating the outcomes of fights, races, dice and card games etc. All things with clear boundaries of relevant data and simple end points “Who will win? Who will loose? The most likely card to be drawn next.” You get the picture.

Likewise, Bluestreak is using his Tacnet to calculate speed, velocity, air resistance, gravity, flight paths and so on. All concrete data points with a distinct solvable condition: Hit thing with other thing.

So what’s Prowl trying to calculate? War.

A million moving pieces, a billion interchangeable factors, and there is never truly a “solved” state since conflict never truly ends, just changes shape.

Prowl, being Prowl, has decided that “Solved states” are bullshit and every time Tacnet tells him the solved state of what he’s asking is “Everyone dies” he says do it again. Add more information. Find every possible angle until something works.

Basically, Prowl finds a wall and then bashes his head against that wall until he gets a hole.

Tacnet reacts by going “Give me solvable equations or so help me I’m smothering us in your sleep.”

“Is the solved state to loose?”

“Yes.”

“Then do it again until it’s not.”

“Fuck you. Hospital.”

Long Term Management: The easiest way to prevent future crashes is to not try and fist fight the laws of physics.

However, taking on extremely taxing calculations can be done safely (ish) if Prowl slows down and takes his time. Basically letting stuff sit on the back burner while he does things like eat and sleep regularly.

Talking out a problem is a manual way of slowing Tacnet down, as processing power is diverted towards simplifying complex equations into coherent spoken statements. Some margin of error is lost this way, (rounding 7.83620563 up to 8 for example) making the calculations slightly less accurate. But in return, Tacnet can then use those rounded numbers to more efficiently do the required math.

I hope that answered your question!

It’s always a lot of fun fleshing out the details for stuff like this. I have a whole other tangent I could elaborate on about Tacnet specifically, but this post is long enough on its own.

[howi99]

A Knight second chance 8

Jaune: *trying to leave*

Glynda: And where do you think you are going, young man?

Jaune: *sigh* Professor Goodwitch, We are still technically the weekend and i highly doubt my co-dependency is enjoying... Whatever we are doing.

Penny: *Smiling* Oh do not mind me friend Jaune, i'm fine going wherever you want to go!

Glynda: *sigh* Jaune, this is very important if you want to stay in Beacon. We can't risk you having a panic attack, or something similar, in the middle of a mission.

Jaune: Glyn- *cough* I mean, professor Goodwitch, i understand the importance of mental stability, but meditation isn't something i can easily do when... Well... *Point at Penny* i need to concentrate on repairing her mind.

Glynda: ... Quite. *Sigh* You may go, but i want you in my office the second you are available.

Jaune: *Nod* Will do, ma'am.

___________________________________________

Penny: *walking in the streets of Vale with Jaune* Why did you lie to her? She could have helped us against Roman!

Jaune: *looking at a map* Your communications are out?

Penny: Since yesterday, yes-

Jaune: I already have a deal with Roman.

Penny: *frowning* You made a deal with him? Why?!

Jaune: *taking little alleys and backstreets* Well, who's better than him to give me information on Cinder? Not only that, but i also asked him to use his contacts to dig up dirt on Lionheart.

Penny: That's also something i don't really get, why aren't you telling Osc-, *shaking her head* i mean Ozpin, about everything?

Jaune: *sigh* You don't have all the information, Penny. You only got my memory of when you were there... Beside, you saw how competent he was with choosing his allies.

Penny: *computing* That's... Fair. But what about Glynda?

Jaune: *shaking his head* Too loyal... In fact- *pick up a rock on the ground* the only one i could trust- *turn around and aim for the suspicious looking Crow* Is a dusty old alcoholic! *Throw the stone directly at Qrow's bird form head, making him fall on the ground*

Qrow: *transforming back into his human form* Oof! *Looking up at the teen* Don't you know you shouldn't harass wild life?

Jaune: *smiling* Don't you know it's impolite to listen to private conversation?

___________________________________________

Qrow: *blinking* Wait... You come from the future?

Jaune: *shaking his head* I'm Jaune from the present. Or at least, the body is. My memories, on the other hand, are from the future *Think about his time in the ???* ... Well, mostly from the future.

Qrow: ... *Goes to take a sip of alcohol*

Jaune: *frown* You should stop that, Summer would be pissed.

Qrow: *looking at Jaune* Now listen here punk, using my dead friend's name is not-

Jaune: She's alive.

Qrow: ... What?

Jaune: She's in hiding, since she got the summer maiden power and-

Qrow: *angry* WHAT!?

Jaune: *surprised by the reaction* Qrow, calm down! It's not as if she had a choice!

Qrow: DID OZPIN KNOW!?

Jaune: No! No, he doesn't. Heck, you should know since you've been searching for the Maidens a majority of your huntsman life.

Qrow: I... BUT... *Sigh* Fucking hell.

Jaune: *sweating* Your sister, on the other hand-

Qrow: *slamming his flask on the table, breaking it* THAT BITCH!

Minimum wage worker: *sigh, using the microphone in a monotone voice* Sir, you'll have to pay for that.

Qrow: FUCK!

___________________________________________

Ozpin: -and you are certain about this?

Qrow: *a glass of water in hand* About 97% sure. The kid isn't a spy from Salem.

Glynda: *still looking at the glass of water as if the world stopped spinning* ... Did... Did something else happen? Like a divine intervention or a miracle?

Qrow: *stifled a laugh* Nothing like that, i just thought i should cut back a bit. *Thinking back at the stone* My reflexes aren't as sharp as i thought.

[sunniques]

hi can you do jake and yn are dating and heeseung is jake’s best friend and heeseung is jealous cuz he also like y/n and y/n also finds heeseung hot so one time jake and heeseung are on a call both playing computer game and heeseung fooled y/n that her bf is in his house with him. yn come over to heeseung place and heeseung fuck her in front of the camera with jake watching in disgust. and y/n didn’t know until they’re done fucking.

— loved you first

cw/tw: manipulation, possessiveness, voyeurism, cheating, unprotected sex, creampie

Heeseung doesn’t feel guilty, not that much anyway.

If he wants to get technical, Jake is the one who broke guy code first. The second he made a move on you, their longtime friendship had soured beyond repair. Sure, it’s true that Heeseung wasn’t actually dating you at the time, but all his friends knew about the very intense feelings he had for you. He’s willing to bet his entire paycheck that Jake only went after you because he knows that Heeseung has always wanted you more than anything.

Maybe that’s why it’s so easy to set things right.

“Fuck, baby,” he smirks into the camera as he bounces you on his cock. “It feels like you’ve never had a cock this big inside you.”

You cry out when his fat tip slams against your sweet spot. Heeseung angles his hips so you’re creaming all over his cock within seconds. This is the second time you’ve gushed all over his cock, but the strong hands on your ass keep forcing your hips to move. Not that you mind. Even though you know it’s so fucked for you to do this to your boyfriend, you can’t care when his friend is fucking you so good.

“I haven’t,” you moan as your pussy tightens around Heeseung’s thick cock. “Yours is—fuck—the biggest.”

His smug laugh only makes your hot cunt clamp down on his throbbing dick harder. Heeseung glances at his abandoned headset on the desk, knowing he hadn’t bothered to mute it. He’s glad he didn’t since it’s only fair that your boyfriend hears how much better he fucks you.

“Yeah? Want this big cock to cream your tight little pussy?” He coos.

“Yes!” You cry out immediately, bouncing harder on his lap. “I want all your cum, Hee!”

Heeseung tosses his head back with a groan. You look so good on top of him, all fucked out and needy. It’s better than anything he ever dreamt up in his depraved fantasies. He leans back and gives you a smirk that makes your pussy flutter.

“Then work your cute little pussy on my cock. Show me how bad you want it.”

His groan is guttural when you start to move your hips, swiveling them roughly into his. Your nails dig into his shoulders right as your movements evolve into eager bounces. A wet slapping sound fills his room as you work desperately to make him cum. Heeseung smirks as he grabs your bouncing tits.

“Fuck. Tight little pussy’s gonna milk me dry,” his voice is ravenous, and it just turns you on even more.

“Heeseung,” you whimper desperately. “Please.”

Heeseung laughs again, but it only makes you wetter. He tugs on your nipples before moving his hands down your body to caress your smooth skin.

“Tell me how bad you want it. How much you need me to fill you up.”

You moan wantonly, completely fucked out and desperate. “Want it so fucking bad, Hee. Need to feel you inside me. Please!”

“This pussy’s mine?” Heeseung groans, feeling closer than ever before from seeing you so cock drunk.

“It’s all yours. Only yours!”

Jake feels sick to his stomach.

When Heeseung told him to hop on the game with him, the last thing he expected was to see you there, getting dicked down by someone who wasn’t him. As angry and hurt as he feels, he can’t look away. Seeing you so crazed and cockhungry is something entirely foreign to him. You’re normally so pliant and sweet in bed. He didn’t even know you could make sounds like the ones you’re making right now.

It’s all so sick and twisted, especially because his cock has never been so hard before.

Heeseung groans your name loudly when you roughly slam down on his cock again. That’s all it takes for him to cum inside you and shoot thick ropes of cum into you. He’s never came so hard or so much before. If he died right then and there, he would have no regrets.

You slump against Hee’s chest, feeling completely sated as his cum slowly drips out of you. It all feels so good that you don’t even care when Heeseung tells you Jake watched the entire thing. Even as you come to the realization that Heeseung implied that your boyfriend left his house early because he was cheating, you don’t regret what you’ve done.

All you can think about is how you’re going to get him to fuck you again.

[inbabylontheywept]

So I found one of your (nonfiction) stories and read the one about the refrigerators, and it made the librarian part of me very curious (and a bit horrified) and I have so many questions!! (Feel free to entirely ignore this, and I really don’t intend to ask anything classified) Are there still refrigerators being used for document storage? Did the refrigerators keep reasonably consistent temperature/humidity? (Because those are both things you want in anything resembling archival storage) How long were documents stored in refrigerators? Do you have any actual document storage/retention guidelines?!

Thank you so much for sharing all your stories, they are hilarious!!!

Naw, it's surprisingly difficult to even ask questions about classified material. We're encouraged but not technically required to be vague about the tests and their purposes, but the fridges are fair game.

Anyway, from the top:

Are there fridges still being used for document storage? At the time that I wrote the fridge piece, we were down to four (4) file storage fridges. At present, we are down to a single (1) file storage fridge, and parts to repair it are on backlog. Then we're going to have to build another filing cabinet. Not looking forward to that.

Did the refigerators keep things reasonant consistent for temperature/humidity? Yes. The temperature in the building does not fluctuate very much (they have relic computer systems that are absolutely, terrifyingly irreplacable) and keeping them happy is a major concern. The fact that it preserves paper is just a convenient side benefit. Humidity is likewise kept low in the basement (like, single digit percent low), for the benefit of some machines that dislike it strongly. We do occasionally raise the humidity in certain location while handling ESD sensitive materials, but those tend to be far from the fridges.

How long were the documents stored in refigerators? We have some facility documents that date back to 1972. We do occasionally have to reference those documents to answer such thrilling questions as "Why does overloading the machine hydraulics downstairs sometimes cause the microwave clock to reset upstairs?" (The answer is that, for reasons no one can explain, they ran 125 feet of wire off the test cell's breaker specifically upstairs, to the one outlet that powers the microwave.) (Seriously.) (And then they recorded this, as if their confession could expunge this kind of sin.) (Engineering does not follow Catholic God's rules- we do not have to forgive someone just because they fessed up.)

Do we have any actual document storage/retention guidelines? Sorta. The guidelines for disposal of documents refers to both positions and specific people that have been gone for years. In theory, someone could take it upon themselves to champion a new disposal process, but that would be boring bureaucratic work whose reward would be doing more boring bureaucratic work, and the machines that we work on here are the coolest shit in the world. Everybody loves working on the machines. Nobody likes sorting through papers. So we just kind of keep punting that one down the road. We'll probably do that until we get someone in who actually prefers doing paperwork to badass science (basically impossible), we get someone from outside the group who arrives to assure document compliance (theoretically possible, ridiculously arare) or until we run out of space (actually impossible, we add space more quickly than we can fill it with papers). We do have guidelines on storage safety. I do not know a lot about what they are. I'd be surprised if the fridges weren't kosher though. The official cabinets have some parts flimsy enough to put through with a can opener. Those fridges could be dropped from an airplane and not get a dent. They're beautiful devices.

[sirfrogsworth]

Oof.

I've been fixing and building computers since I was 12.

I consider myself to be a technologist.

I have repaired hundreds of technological gadgets in my lifetime.

One of my jobs was providing phone support for a local dial-up internet service.

If there is one thing I know, it is "turn it off and on again."

It's a meme for a reason.

So when I just called technical support for my glucose monitor app and the guy asked me if I had turned my phone off and on again, I felt pretty stupid.

Because I hadn't done that.

And it fixed my problem.