#the answer is bpd

[cloudedcreams]

thinking of a mentally unstable! yandere who craves your affection.

he’s self destructive. he can’t help it, the feeling of validation he gets carving your name again and again into you skin. he wants you to be a part of him forever, and he craves your love more than anything the could imagine. he doesn’t care, so long as you love him.

it’s overwhelming, to say the least. you fear him, and yet he longs for your attention. there are times where you feel as though you really can’t help him, and the worst part about it is that he doesn’t even want to.

there are times he says he hates you as well. he scratches at his skin and screams at you, leaving you on your knees and clutching at your ears. those are the worst nights of all, seeing him become a victim to his own mood swings. sometimes he’s able to snap himself back, staring down at you and the mess he’s caused before sinking besides you, rocking you in his arms as he shakily promises that it’s going to be okay, that the two of you are fine.

[asexual-amanita]

Why tf u care so much about narcs. It’s not like they care about u.

Fist off, people with NPD can care about people. Secondly, I care and advocate for them because one, they’re people. And two, I’m supposed to be a disability and mental health advocate. And while I may not have NPD, I feel as if, as part of the cluster b community, it is my duty to advocate for people in the same cluster that are experiencing far more hate, discrimination, and stigma than me. Narcissistic people are not the enemy, ableism is.

[14dayswithyou]

Ren owes me 19 dollars 🤔🤔

So, is there a possibility that Taylor may have npd (narcissistic personality disorder) and/or psychopathy (the second won't be surprising, since I'm more interested in the first one, but it's also curious)? Like in coop with his bloodcurdling yandere nature it would sound even more terrifying, but it explains some things for me (or maybe I'm wrong, idk)

Fell free not to answer on this, as usual!, even for me this sounds too spoilerish... but I can't help but be curious😭

⌞♥⌝ I don't really like to give my characters any disorders I personally don't have, as I never want to misrepresent them, spread (harmful) misinformation, or perpetuate any negative stereotypes.

For example: Elanor has ADHD, Ren has dyslexia, Moth has SAD (generalised Social Anxiety Disorder), And Kiara has OPCD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). I'm not very vocal about it because I want my characters to just... exist without having to link every little thing to their disorders. I merely want people who can relate to look at my characters and go, "Yeah... No wonder I kin you 🫵" lmao /silly

In Taylor's case, he's supposed to come across as an incredibly fucked up individual in a completely fictional sense, so I wouldn't want to demonise or bastardise a disorder — nor use it as a scapegoat for his actions and poor decisions. At the end of the day, Taylor truly is just a sleazy, no-morals kind of guy who just wants his wife to prioritise him and only him.

...Sound familiar?? >:)

[bowpilled]

[valentinesworld4ever]

Can you please write some soft Ticci Toby??? Like the reader insists on taking care of him for once

Care for me!

A/n; anon omg I LOVVVVEEEE this pls, also sorry if this isn't what you wanted 😭

Summary; toby never had someone to care for him, so when you come along and decide to do just that? Well one things for sure, you're never gonna get rid of him

Warnings!; general fluff, mentions of abuse, killing and wounds, Toby's bpd acting up especially towards the end

Toby didn't have much experience, he had obviously dated clockwork for a year or so but again but they both had their own issues meaning the two of them never had the time to comfort each other, their lack of experience and the trauma in which broke them up, but when you came into his life that changed? How could it not. To set the scene imagine this, Toby had just finished up from a mission, the person he killed putting up a tough fight leaving him scratched, cut and generally emotionally hurt, it was never easy to kill someone, but when they're fighting so much harder to stay alive? It really took it out of him.

But you, oh you, you were so kind, the newest to the mansion at the time, your soft gaze widening when seeing the tears well in his eyes, your soft hands grabbing his and asking him what was wrong? He liked you instantly, you didn't care to judge him for crying, you never judged him for asking for help cleaning his wounds and for that he truly knew you were someone he wanted to be around.

Toby after that moment never wanted much more from this friendship, not until at the dinner table your fingers intertwined with his, almost as if you knew he was beginning to panic, he knew he was whipped, his brown eyes staring into yours, and for a second the world stopped.

And toby again didn't expect this to continue, who would want to be his friend, to look after him, so he tried to put an end to this and make you NOT like him, but when he came home one night after being gone all week only to be met with your crying face, asking him where he had been and how you thought he was dead, he knew he just had to kiss you, and that's what he did, kissing you between his apologies, telling you how he'd never leave you again, and for a moment just a moment the world stopped again

[arcadepunk]

This question is for Cluster B havers and Cluster B havers ONLY.

(Non Cluster B havers feel free to reblog, I need a bigger sample size!)

[kangelgirl]

You do NOT have 242 followers 😭🙏

was ab to fight u but ur actually right whoops

i got 2 more soo ...

[redandgreyscale]

could you possibly do something with bpd barty who's in a good place? maybe evan's afraid it's too good to be true? thanks ❤️

Yup, I'll give my boys a bit of peace too, not everything can be bad <3

Evan has been warily staring at Barty for the last two days.

Not for anything specific, he just has a bad omen. Everything has been relatively calm for a week, which is not bad but it's... Unusual. Barty's not used to staying this stable for a week. Less so for more. It has been more. Evan's nerves are peeking up.

"Damn, if you keep undressing me with your eyes I'm gonna catch a cold" Barty jokes looking at him. Right. He's been staring for too long.

"I'm not—" he tries, but Barty's confident smirk and glistening eyes make him stop "whatever"

And then silence fills the room for a good five seconds as they look at each other. Barty stops smiling soon enough.

"I'm worried too" he says as honestly as he can "but let's try to make the most out of it while we can" and okay, that sounds good, that's great.

"Yeah, okay" Evan offers a soft smile "Sorry, uhm, do you want to go buy some things? Hogsmeade? Or go for a walk near the forest?" Barty gets up from his place in the room and walks to where Evan is sitting on the bed, the grin growing back on his face easily.

"I want to stay here and kiss you" he says, knees ending on Evan's sides, sitting on top of him on the edge.

"That sounds good too" Evan kisses his cheek, grabs his waist and brings him closer. Barty's arms come to his shoulders, wrapping on the back of his neck.

"I want to be alone with you as much as I can get away with" then Barty's kissing him, and well, that's just the best they can do.

Evan knows it won't last forever, that tomorrow or the next or tonight Barty's mood will do a 180 turn and their peace will be completely shattered. But if this is what he gets for now, he'll take it.

[aurae-rori]

Wanna ask if you have any headcannons for aventio modern au

( cause I am obsessed with modern aus)

hellyeah brother i'm here to serve the masses

hcs about ratio:

still a doctor still has 8 phds

knows about student debt and hates it with a burning passion

has a duck keychain that he puts on his keychain with all of his keys like the keys to his house

once crushed a soda can in his hands during his student years bcs he was that fucking mad about the homework questions not being stated in a clear manner (he just like me fr)

has several duck plushies in his bed and theyre all named after either greek philosophers or roman politicians

can speak latin fluently and mutters curse words and creative expressions in latin during the classes that he teaches because he is that pissed off

used to be a full time doctor, but decided to turn to teaching instead after some time

hyper-empathy due to childhood neglect (he just like me fr)

eyebags that he covers up with makeup, he still has those from his student years and cant fucking get them to leave no matter how many hours he sleeps for

enjoys occasionally a rum & coke

really likes lattes and london fogs

had a british accent once because he travelled to the uk and picked up on it, when he came back he was mortified

fucking loves ducks so much he has a camera roll dedicated to duck photos

he got to pet a duck once he was happy for the rest of the week thats how much he loves them

massive nerd & dork

undiagnosed autism with a side of gifted child trauma

really likes jazz and lofi it calms him down fast and makes him happy

wrings his hands when he's really happy

touch starved

makes really good soup

hopeless romantic

more mentally unstable than you think he is. he is actually suffering from burnout but doesnt want to let people around him down.

doing his best. sometimes on the weekends he just nestles into a cocoon of blankets and refuses to leave. texture....

cannot not wear socks he will die without them

cat magnet for some reason??? all neighbourhood cats are at his doorstep even when he and aven already have three. ig hes just cat dad now

aventurine hcs:

still has those glasses, his eyes are more sensitive to light too

really fucking likes fluffy stuff he loves the fluffy he loves the fluffy he-

big fan of sheep and peacocks

eternally terrified that ratio secretly hates him even when they start dating

bpd & adhd & probably autism (ALL BPD HAVERS FUCKING WIN WITH THIS ONE!!!!! I SEE YALL)

masks so often its insane

used to smoke and drink heavily, but has started to lay off ever since he met ratio

still an adrenaline junkie and still has his stupidly good good luck

really likes coffee too, coffee addict, has horrible eyebags, a shitty sleep schedule, and overworks himself half to death

cant fucking cook what the hell is a kitchen

very fond of stelle/caelus and sees them as his surrogate younger siblings. stelle taught him how to play video games and now he plays with them whenever his thoughts get really bitchy to him

horrible at relying on other people but is slowly unlearning that

can do a backflip (why? idk)

high pain tolerance

has a collection of sheep plushies that his friends bought for him

numby and him get along really well. he and topaz still have that sibling esque relationship.

i think he still works for the ipc in this au but its not as bad as it is in canon

starved of touch and does not really know what a healthy relationship is before ratio comes along

loves blankets he has like ten blankets on his bed at once idk why

once poured monster energy into coffee and then drank it. he suffered the consequences. even good luck can't save you from that

listens to generic pop (lie. he actually loves indie guitar)

MENTAL ILLNESS REP IN THIS MAN

accidentally big brothered some kids. help how does he deal with affection

buys stuff for stelle and caelus too. he buys them sheep plushies. they will defend said sheep plushies with their lives. they buy him racoon plushie in return. he does not cry.

his fingers shake so bad sometimes (PTSD goes hard)

motor skills can and will die on him occasionally

unhealthy coping mechanisms but hes getting better guys

he does relapse occasionally but hes putting in effort. finally got his ass to therapy thanks to ratio :)

second cat dad. he loves his cat children he will die for his cat children.

the cats like laying next to him as he eeps if ratio isnt there. they purr and help him with his nightmares.

(ily people w bpd you deserve this rep!!! enjoy :3)

them together hcs!!!!

ratio already had background information on bpd due to his psych degree beforehand but did more researching into it when he realized that aven had bpd because he wanted to support his partner as much as he could :)

ratio is big on physical touch but aven needed some time to get used to it and he was very big on it

aven really likes spoiling the absolute shit out of ratio and likes getting him gifts because sometimes he doesn't know how to word how much he appreciates ratio

aven likes to wash ratios hair for him and visa versa, non sexual intimacy always fucking wins

ratio still worries about aven and doesn't like him gambling all the time, aven makes an active effort to better himself for him even if it's really hard

at the start it was really fucking shitty between the two of them but eventually aven started to learn how to properly and safely communicate with ratio and ratio learned how to phrase his thoughts in a way that wouldn't trigger something, and although they both make mistakes they are doing their best for one another and generally have a good impact on one another's stages of healing (im not projecting im not projecting i-)

aven will hold ratio in his arms and tell him that he's good enough when the thoughts get really bad

they love cuddling, who's big spoon and small spoon switches regularly because they both like being held and holding the other

aven will stop by ratio after his classes and take him home when hes too tired

ratio shuts down sometimes and aven messes with his hair and just stays with him until he reboots

they kiss <33333333333

they cuddle so much they hold one another going to bed

ratio likes giving aven little headkisses and peppers his face with them

they are gay and in love and healthy actually

they were never toxic yaoi never will they be. they are healthy.

they get married <333

this is so much more than what you asked for probably but here you go.

[zivazivc]

Did Les ever dated in the past? Also is he with anyone recently?

Les quit school really early, like 10-years-old early, and he started working soon after, so he didn't really have friends his age. That kinda puts a buffer on a teenager's social and love life. Though there was something that happened at a house party once, that was, uh... a bad experience, and it left him with a lot of issues. Also, partially because of this, he's not really someone who acts on his crushes. So he never dated before.

But at one point the band spent a few months in the same location (dunno the reason yet, but maybe they weren't getting enough gigs and they had to take up some part time jobs for a while), and Les developed a crush on a bartender at a nearby club.

She's the only OC of mine who's visually a bigger weirdo than Les, and he definitely saw a little bit of himself in her, and hoping for someone with some shared life experience, it's what initially attracted him toward her and vice versa.

So they had a thing going on for a short time. It never developed into anything serious because sadly they are very alike, which means they are BOTH morons who are shy about making the first move. And after a while they came to the agreement that they were better as just friends.

Floyd with his persistent crush was not happy about the possible romance at first, but he ended up being happy for Les, and he finally decided to give his hopeless longing a rest, since the only good it was doing was growing a rift between his and Les's friendship.

Funny enough it was Floyd backing down which allowed the two to grow closer. Les lowered his guard since he no longer had to overthink if Floyd would interpret anything he did or said as some kind of flirting or act of love, and he no longer had to brace himself for any uncomfortable romancing coming from Floyd either.

They were already good friends since the start but they became much more casual with each other and began to understand each other on a deeper level as years passed. As Floyd got older and more mature, and became an equal with the rest of the bandmates, it was actually Les who fell for him, hard. He didn't really do anything about it though, but Floyd eventually realized this and you know he did something about it. Though Floyd's crush had gone from looking at Les as this cool experienced older guy when he was younger to now seeing him as a shy innocent teddy bear compared to his lewd self ksjhdkjs.

So technically they became each other's first proper all-encompassing relationship. And by that I mean that besides the lovey-dovey obvious stuff, they were also best friends and helped each other grow a lot. Also Floyd by the time they got together, already started a habit of hooking up with strangers at parties, so being with Les forced him to slow down and progress through a relationship slowly and at a healthy pace for someone his age (since you can't really get anywhere with Les without a lot of patience). And Floyd got Les to become comfortable with opening up and talking about his deep-rooted feelings. They talked about issues they faced, many of which were related to Les's childhood trauma, instead of him just ignoring or suppressing it all. (Floyd also opened up about his own family trauma with Les obviously, but he talked about it even before they got together.)

The relationship, especially at the start, could still be considered questionable from an outsider's perspective, but so was the band's lifestyle in general. They were good for each other during that period while they were growing up and figuring themselves and each other out, which is what matters I think.

It was honestly mainly Floyd's undiagnosed bipolar disorder that made the relationship suffer toward the end of Floyd's days in the band. It created a lot of trust issues between Floyd and Les, and also Floyd and everyone else, heck it even made Floyd distrust himself, since he and none else knew or understood what was happening with him. This led to a lot of misery and anger that he mostly ended up directing at Les, and it was what eventually made them break up and Floyd leave.

[vampfeminine]

ೀㅤㅤVanityBPD

A term for people who have both BPD and NPD and feel as though they don't fit how most people view borderlines because of their NPD, or because their NPD symptoms are more prominent than their BPD symptoms.

Exclusive to people with BPD and NPD, transabled DNI.

 ྀི◟ ͜ ̣̣̥⠀ self-indulgent, therefore i most likely won't make others.

෫ㅤㅤㅤDo not interact

Basic dni, (disorder) abuse believers, endogenic/non-traumagenic systems, anti-good faith, anti-paraphilias, radqueers, transids, perisex afab tfems and amab tmascs, anti-self diagnosis

[uponyourstars]

i need to stop saying i hate my feelings whenever i'm possibly getting romantically attached to someone. i start yearning and my almost immediate thought is, "i hate it. i hate this and i need it to stop."

[genderqueerdykes]

Hi, Ik that this isnt like very on topic of your blog but I just wanted to ask something. I have suspected npd and bpd and due to my trauma, pds and derealization and hatred for self one of my coping mechanisms is just. Pretending Im someone else. I dont have did, its literally like making ocs and pretending to be them to escape reality. Whenever something goes wrong I switch personas and suddenly Im not a loser with toxic family Im a loser with toxic family BUT with a cool name and Im not myself anymore. Whats weird is that when Im myself I get dysphoric from people referring to me as she, but when Im one of my personas its suddenly okay. I wanted to ask you if what Im doing is harmful to the actual systems. I dont claim to have did and never will because I dont and what I do is simply putting on an act and gaslighting myself into believing Im the person Im acting as. I just want to know if its bad and harmful for did community.

naw that's not harmful for people with DID- i've met people with NPD and BPD who feel switches like that, and some identify as plural, but most don't. i'm not familiar with terminology used by people with NPD, so i'm sure others can pitch in more accurate information, but i wish you the best of luck in figuring out how to manage coping with a toxic family & being demonized and misunderstood for having personality disorders you didn't ask for and are just trying to live with and chill. a lot of people with BPD feel like they are plural or have a very similar experience this is super common, so i don't think you're hurting anyone. i think sometimes the DID community hurts the BPD community by trying to control the language they use and how they explain their own experiences.

as someone with DID, I think that the DID community is way too harsh on personality disorders at times. it's okay to let people with PDs explain their experiences in ways to make sense to them. you're not hurting me. take care of yourself, i wish you the best of luck

[cluster-b-culture-is]

Bpd culture is having to hide that you have bpd cause you’re ‘friend’ literally told you she hates people with bpd/bipolar

For those who might be confused, BPD is borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder is a separate disorder (it’s a mood disorder, with depressive and manic/hypomanic periods as the main symptoms), but ableists often don’t care enough to differentiate.

[kangelgirl]

us? ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )

yess THAT'S LITERALLY US (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

[redandgreyscale]

♥- maybe bpd (or just mentally ill) barty having a manic episode and fighting with evan because of it (about meds or something) and evan knowing it's not really barty talking but rather the voices in his head so he knows he shouldn't take anything barty says serious even though he's saying some really hurtful things (I'm a sucker for the angst you write, what can I say) <3

-🦇

Aw man more angst 😔 yeah Evan knows he shouldn't believe the things Barty says half the time but it's just inevitable because he cares. Anyway I'm going to apologize before you read this. Sorry.

Barty hasn't been sleeping. Evan knows, but not because he's less active, it's only the bags under his eyes growing. He's very talkative, very active, you can practically see his thoughts racing behind his eyes, too many things going on all at once, impossible to sort out.

Evan knows different types of episodes can be triggered even when he's going to therapy and taking his meds, but he still talks to Poppy to see if he's been going to therapy and looks for his meds box to see if he's been taking it.

He shouldn't be surprised to see he's not been doing any of that.

"You lied to me" Evan knows. He knows this is not the best way to talk about it, it's not the best moment either, but he's just so very tired of everything. Of being lied to and believing it, of trying to trust and being used. He also knows Barty is not a bad person, he's just ill.

"Because you keep trying to control everything I do" is the answer he gets. Well, at least there's no one else in the room to witness this.

"I'm not trying to control you" he tries as he does every time this happens "I just want you to be better"

"Well I'm not!" Then, the screams come "I'm not getting better with therapy and I'm not getting better with medicine because this is what I am!"

"You know that's not true" Evan tries to remain calm, to not scream too, to be the sensible person on all of this "Barty you're ill, you need to take care of yourself to be fine"

"No, you just want to cure me and control the things I do, I don't want to do any of that! You need control, right!? That's what you're doing!"

"Bee that's not—"

"I'm not your project and I don't need you!" Evan has heard Barty scream at him too many times, it doesn't get easier. The way he moves around like a caged animal that only wants to bite, how his voice becomes loud and harsh and hurtful.

"I just want to help"

"Well you can't help me as you couldn't help your mother dying!"

There's a ring on his ears, all the loud noises muffled as he processes what Barty just said.

His mother.

His dead mother.

"Get out" Evan mumbles, his breathing shallow, tone flat. Not a single sliver of emotion on his voice.

"Yeah I'm not so fun of a project when—"

"Get out!" Evan pushes him on the chest.

Barty laughs. He fucking laughs and gets out still screaming at him. Evan isn't listening anymore.

Not when his mother died a month ago and Barty just used it against him and his eyes sting and his lips tremble.