#the basic content of the response 100% is

[peanutbutterandbananasandwichs]

Ok, I'm alive (barely) so Jared question storytime !

So I'm including this as context because it's why I feel a little 😧 about the answer he ended up giving (not in a bad way just like I was a little shocked re his answer).

So the person 2 questions before me (I think they were the 2nd question overall) asked a REALLY inappropriate question to both of them that was "which of your childhood traumas left the deepest scar" which I'm sure you can imagine pretty much everyone in the hall was little jesus christ when they heard that. Anyways Jared and Misha handled it very well, much better than I ever could, but for obvious reasons basically didn't answer the question.

THEN they started screening questions beforehand and I was like 😬 idk if I can ask mine now but I can't think on my feet enough to ask a different one and I assured the steward that I was asking purely about Jared's acting approach.

Anyways so I went and asked my question, I did slip in a kinda jokey apology that I didn't know someone would ask that right before me lol.

So I started my question by saying how wonderful his portrayal of Sam as a trauma survivor was and I thanked him for how much care he put into it and said it was very important to me and to so many people and then just said thank you again.

And I barely remember what he looked like what I was speaking during this bit because I was blacking out hahaha but I'm 90% certain he did that really sweet sincere face and clutched his hands over his heart and ahfgchfghbb.

Anyways then I asked him specifically about how when Sam flinches at sudden noises/violence he often looks embarrassed/ashamed about his reaction and I said that obviously he shouldn't have to feel that way but that it rang very true to life/to Sam in specific. And I asked if that was something that was in the script or if it was something he thought was how Sam would react/was that something he'd intentionally brought to his portrayal of Sam's trauma.

And he said it was a great question. And was like yes, it was absolutely intentional, and I think he said a little bit about his thought behind it which I do not remember cause again, blacking out, lmao.

Anyways, then he kinda referenced the terrible childhood trauma question, and then said that when he was a kid there was a drive-by shooting outside of his house, and that even though everyone in his family was ok it had really affected him, and that he was hyper vigilant, super reactive to noise, really jumpy etc and had had to have therapy to help with it. And basically kinda said that he'd used that a bit with Sam.

And he thanked me for the question again and for sharing that that aspect of Sam was important to me.

So yeah I was a bit like idk if he would have gone that direction if the other question hadn't been asked and it made me feel a little bit like oh I hope he didn't think I expected him to give such a personal answer. But on the other hand he didn't answer that other question, but then did tell that story in answer to my question so I have to assume that my question made him feel more comfortable than the previous one did.

[bucketbueckers]

ONLY MINE

pairing: azzi fudd x fem!reader

content: filth, azzi and reader are just down bad asf there's no real top just vibes, nipple play, ab riding, oral, teasing, freaked out as fuck, academic validation as aftercare, kinda short and not proofread 😕 i apologize to paige bueckers and paige bueckers only

wc: 5.3k

synopsis: After bombing your most recent thermodynamics quiz, you’ve been locked in and busy on practice sets and worksheets in preparation for the next one. Maybe a little too busy, in fact, because your girlfriend is feeling needy and neglected, and, well, who are you to deny her any longer?

notes: i am not an engineer. yes i spent 10 minutes scrolling through sample thermodynamics practice sets to find a word problem that appears once (1 time) in this fic. im not just committed to the bit. i am married to it. yaps aside, i am trying my hardest to be responsible and stay on top of my classes LMAO 😭 butttttt i hope you like this ⬇️ anon (and good luck on your finals goat)!! im working on time management so i definitely will not be writing as much as i used to but i am still chronically online. feel free to send in an anon to say hello but as always i hope y'all like this one and happy pazzi hard launch day to those who celebrate 🫶

Saturated liquid water enters an orifice at a pressure of 100 psia and is throttled to a lower pressure of 20 psia. Determine the outlet temperature (F) and the specific entropy difference (Btu/lbm-R) between the outlet and the initial status. Assume steady state, steady flow, negligible heat transfer, and negligible changes in kinetic and potential energy.

“What the fuck,” you whisper to yourself, hopelessly lost.

The word problem stares unblinkingly at you. You’ve been meticulously working through this problem set for the past five hours, only pausing to use the restroom, refill your water bottle (because apparently you hydrate really well when you don’t know what the fuck’s going on), and grab a healthy, energizing snack (a handful of Starburst), but it’s starting to feel like you’ve been staring at this worksheet for years.

You never really struggled this much with a class. Math, physics, chemistry, you name it – there was always a pattern that you were good at isolating and exploiting. It made solving problems a lot easier, but thermodynamics? Figuring it out was taking a lot out of you. To make matters worse, nothing seems to help, either. Not even your go-to tutors on YouTube who could explain quantum physics to a five year old with little difficulty.

At this point, you’re convinced it’s just some weird energy in the universe that has severed the connections between your brain cells. This couldn’t possibly be your fault. You bombed your thermodynamics quiz on Wednesday, which was strange because you’d walked into the lecture hall with the confidence of a man who was sure he knew where the clit was. Maybe you were a little tense – who wouldn’t be? You were juggling four classes, a TA position for a calculus course, and research into reaction engineering.

A heavy workload never deterred you, though. Not to the point of failing a quiz you thought you’d pass with flying colors. And nothing else had really changed for you either. Your routine was basically the same, you studied for the same amount of time, exercised and ate properly. Your girlfriend, Azzi, did have a string of away games that kept her out of Storrs for about a week and a half, but saying she’s the reason for your poor performance is kind of ridiculous, even if you do sleep better when it’s next to her or because she always listens to you ramble even if she has no idea what you’re talking about.

Now, Azzi is back, and she doesn’t have another away game for about two weeks. That’s a fact that would otherwise excite you, but you’re just trying to pass your classes. Your scholarship relies on your GPA, and without your scholarship, you might as well kiss UConn goodbye. You and Azzi were always intentional about understanding each other’s schedules. Basketball was demanding, possibly more demanding than engineering considering travel and recovery, so the both of you tried to maximize the amount of time you were able to spend together, even if it just consisted of Azzi quietly watching film next to you while you worked through your homework.

After burying your head in your hands, rubbing your temples, and reminding yourself of how sexy future you would look sitting courtside at one of Azzi’s WNBA games, chatting with the other WAGs like, “Oh, Dr. Fudd? Yes, that’s me,” you reach for your iPad with a deep sigh, rereading the word problem once more. Then you write down what you know. P₁ = 100 psia. P₂ = 20 psia.

Your hand stalls. You check the formula sheet, the swirl of letters and deltas and constants making your head ache. You blink again.

Your pen falls onto the couch cushion next to you as you heave another shuddering sigh, feeling like you’re about to crash out. You can’t fathom why this is so difficult for you.

Azzi’s voice is sudden, soft – it would otherwise startle you if you weren’t ready to be swallowed up by the ground and never return to earth. “I think you need a break,” she says, her voice coming from somewhere behind you, and you can hear the gentle footfalls of her sock-clad feet as she makes her way closer to you. Her hands find your shoulders, kneading gently, and you sigh again – this time in relief – as you melt into the couch.

“Can’t,” you mutter, grunting when her thumb catches on one of the knots. “I’ve already taken like…a million just from zoning out and losing my mind. Wasted enough time.”

You don’t have to see her face to visualize the amused, if not slightly concerned smile gracing her lips. “Are you not also wasting time by forcing yourself to work when it’s getting you nowhere?” she murmurs, her lips closer to your ear now. For that, you truly have no rebuttal, and she presses a lingering kiss to the edge of your jaw. Humming to yourself, you tilt your head, baring your throat, and her lips trace a deliberate path down the curve of your neck.

Her hands leave your shoulders, smoothing down your chest, and you intertwine your fingers together, getting lost in the heady scent of her perfume. You’d missed her – you really did. You and Azzi have been together long enough that you’re used to her having to travel a lot, but sometimes, it takes a little bit longer for your body to catch up and get the memo, too.

“Take a break,” Azzi whispers, her tone pleading, edged with a sort of neediness that makes you want to give in. You almost do – the warmth of her lips against your skin and the weight of her hands over your chest turning your brain into mush. “Let me take care of you. You’ve been so busy lately. You’re wearing yourself out.”

The first part of her statement has you ready to turn off your laptop and give Azzi whatever she wants from you. But the second? All it does is remind you about the quiz you’d just failed, the fact you have another quiz in less than a week, and how you’re not any closer to understanding the material. It sobers you instantly.

“Later,” you whisper, feeling a little guilty. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to spend time with Azzi – God, it’s all you’ve wanted to do since she got back to Storrs, but you knew you’d just fall into shitty time management problems if you didn’t get your work done.

“Babe,” Azzi complains, her tone exasperated and needy all at once. Her grip on you tightens ever so slightly, leaning fully against the couch to press her cheek to your temple. You fall back into her, your eyes slipping shut despite yourself.

“Sorry, Az,” you say apologetically, turning your head slightly to kiss the closest patch of skin you can reach, which happens to be the hinge of her jaw. She sighs softly, then brushes her lips across your forehead before releasing you. You miss the contact immediately but she makes her way to the front of the couch and sits down on the cushion next to you. Intertwining your fingers to get her attention, you squeeze her hand gently. She glances over, doe eyes wide, simmering with a heat and want that makes your stomach flip. “Let me finish this problem, then I’m yours. I promise.”

She crosses one leg over her knee, a petulant expression on her face as she sinks into the cushions. “Better be worth it, Dr. Fudd,” she grumbles, which makes you smile a little. You plant a chaste, innocent kiss on her lips, smirking when she chases after you. You release her, reaching for your pen and your iPad again, but you swear you hear her muttering under her breath, “Cockblocked by an engineering assignment. This is what I get for dating a smart person.”

Her indignance and impatience amuses you, which just motivates you to finish this problem as quickly as you can. You start over again, rereading the problem and isolating the facts that you know. You check your formula sheet again, struggling to find the one you need given what you have and what variable you want to solve for. All the while, you can feel Azzi’s gaze on you, dark and beseeching. It honestly makes it difficult to focus – knowing you have your very needy girlfriend sitting on the couch next to you and begging for one ounce of attention, but you know she’ll thank you later when you’re a super rich engineer and you build her a custom library in the house you’ll share together.

(Granted, she’ll be a super rich baller, so she wouldn’t exactly be hurting financially without you and she could get the library, but as long as you were around, you were committed to ensuring that Azzi wouldn’t have to lift a finger.)

Azzi allows you to struggle in peace. You make zero progress, just as she predicted. You read a few pages in your textbook. You watch a YouTube video on the process and still, you get nowhere. Already feeling a little frustrated, you try another approach.

But then Azzi’s palm finds your thigh. It breaks your focus immediately – not like it wasn’t already hanging by a thin thread – and you glance over at her, one brow raising in amusement. She doesn’t look the least bit remorseful about distracting you; in fact, she’s wearing a smug little smile that breaks down all of your defenses. “You promised, Az,” you remind her.

“You promised, too,” she declares. The confusion must be clear on your face because she explains, “Girlfriend code. You have a duty to give me attention.”

“Oh, do I?” you echo, biting your lip to stifle a smile.

Azzi’s dead serious, though. Her eyes meet yours, temptation laced in her pupils, a pout tugging at her lips. You’re not sure how you’re supposed to stand your ground against that, but you have to pretend to have some sort of academic responsibility.

“You do,” she confirms. “Agreed to it when you said you loved me, in fact.”

“I wasn’t aware that was in the fine print,” you respond, tangling your fingers with hers before she has the chance to inch her palm further up your thigh.

Azzi narrows her eyes at you. “Well, it is,” she insists. “And I want you.”

“Is that what this is about?” you murmur teasingly. “My girl needs me?”

Azzi nods, her expression a devastating mix of hopeful and needy, and it makes you ache. But you glance down at your iPad, at the word problem staring back at you — unsolved — and you hate yourself for what you do next.

You kiss her again, your free hand reaching to cup her jaw, and she melts into you instantly. You draw back just before it grows too intense, murmuring, “After this problem.” You’re sure that Azzi almost fucking growls, her brows drawing together tightly. In any other situation, you’d find it endearing, but you can’t help but feel guilty. You have work to do, and you know that Azzi wouldn’t let you rest until the sun is in the sky again. “Sorry, baby.”

But Azzi is out of rationale — and patience. She leans away from you long enough to shut the lid of your laptop on the coffee table, then she yanks your iPad out of your hands. It lands somewhere on the far end of the couch as your pen clatters harmlessly onto the floor, rolling somewhere out of view, and you hardly have the time to react before Azzi straddles you in one quick motion. Her lips are on yours immediately. You gasp, hands reaching out to grip her hips, and she swallows the moan that tumbles from your mouth.

Her hands are around your neck, drawing you in closer to her, yours roaming across her sculpted thighs, tightening in the loose fabric of her shorts. They ride up on her legs the more she presses against you and you take advantage of the miles upon miles of tanned skin laid before you. It makes you keen, sighing into her mouth, and Azzi slips her tongue inside, brushing against yours.

It’s all heat from there — Azzi’s hips roll against yours in a slow, methodical grind, her fingers trailing down your chest to tangle in the hem of your shirt. She breaks away from your mouth, lips swollen, spit-slick and urgent as she mutters, “Off, please.”

You don’t have the words to deny her, not that you would in the first place. Not when you can feel the heat of her core against your thigh, the dampness that’s seeped through her underwear and shorts all at once. Pulling away from her, you raise your arms, allowing her to pull your shirt off, intent on getting your hands back on her, but Azzi stops you with a palm to your chest — your bare chest, having neglected a bra for comfort that morning. 

Her eyes are glazed over, pupils dark and wanting. The way she stares shamelessly would make you feel insecure and vulnerable if you weren’t able to read the desire in her features, the way her jaw goes slack at the sight of you. It’s not new — Azzi has seen you in various states of undress over the course of your relationship. A sheer bikini on cruises, in nothing but her jersey and a flimsy pair of her boxers, or as naked as the day you were born. It doesn’t matter how many times Azzi has sat upon your lap with your breasts cupped in her hands like she’s holding the world in her palms – she thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, and if you had any sensibility, you’d probably ask, “Has she seen herself?”

Not wanting to be alone in your nakedness, you reach for the hem of Azzi’s shirt, glancing up at her through your lashes for permission. She nods quickly and you don’t waste anymore time before pulling the dark blue shirt off of her, your own jaw going slack as you take her in. She’s all muscles and tanned skin, firm sinew in most places yet soft in others. You want to get your hands on her immediately, so you do – pressing heatedly against her stomach, grazing her belly piercing and the curve of her waist, pulling her flush against you like you can’t get enough of her skin against yours.

She reaches for your wrists to pull your hands off of her body. You make a noise of protest, but she silences you with a deep kiss, insistent and hungry as she shifts to the side, tugging you down on top of her now as she positions herself against the pillows and the armrest at the end of the couch. The change has your head spinning, especially when Azzi pushes her knee between your legs, the muscle of her thigh dragging against your clit in a way that’s almost devastating.

Your entire body is pulsing, suddenly aware of the need building in your body. It feels like it’s taken root in your bones. Like all you’ve needed these past few weeks were Azzi, not anything else. And judging by the way her fingers slip under the waistband of your sweatpants, pressing firm against your skin and tugging the restricting material down? Azzi is more than willing to give herself to you – in whatever way you need it.

You try to grind down onto Azzi’s thigh, searching for the contact, but she takes your hips in your hands, perching you precariously over her body, only inches away from what you need. You break away from her lips long enough to brush your mouth across her jaw, finding her ear to beg, “Please, Az, need it.”

A smirk curls her lips, slow and smug. The tables are turned now – she’d spent so long asking for you to put your assignment down, and now you’re the one pleading for her to touch you. Azzi is a competitor by nature. You may never truly understand how much she enjoys watching you break beneath her.

“Where have I heard that one before?” she murmurs, dragging heated kisses across your chest, lips wrapping around a nipple as you open your mouth. Your next words get caught in your throat, a moan taking its place, and you curl a hand around Azzi’s neck, pulling her closer to you.

“‘M sorry, baby,” you gasp in between stuttered breaths, your hips twitching when she bites gently at your bud. Azzi hums against you, sending vibrations up your spine as your body arches into her mouth and her wandering hands. Remembering where you are, you allow your hands to drop from Azzi’s neck down to her waist, fingers hooking into the band of her shorts. “Lemme make it up to you,” you plead, trembling with need. You want so badly to pull these shorts off of her, but she hasn’t given you the all clear yet. You may be the one on top and the one who wants to please her, but if she wasn’t going to allow you, there was little you could do.

“I wonder if I could make you come like this,” Azzi mumbles instead, releasing your nipple with a wet pop, and one of her hands reaches up to rub the spit across the bud while her lips trail to the other one, biting gently to make you shudder. Your breath catches, hips still hovering overs hers. “Dripping all over me while I take my time. Do you think I could?”

“Fuck,” you whimper, arching into her hands again, moaning when she pinches you with the right amount of pressure to send white hot desire to your core. Your head falls onto her shoulder, fingers abandoning her waistband to brace yourself against the couch cushion for stability. “Whatever you want, Az, just make me come – please.”

It wouldn’t take much. You’re already worked up, both from Azzi’s efforts and the stress of the week melting away into something softer. You hadn’t realized how much you truly needed this – the break away from your homework to breathe and just be. But you feel Azzi’s smile growing against your skin, her tongue poking out from her lips to circle your nipple, before she whispers, “Another time, maybe,” and she pulls you onto her bare stomach.

The first press feels like fire. It punches a gasp out of you, pleasure and relief coursing through your veins in simultaneous streams. Azzi’s abs are firm, inviting, and you rut against them desperately, needing to get off. Your aching clit catches against the piercing on her navel and a wrecked moan spills from your lips. Azzi’s muscles contract, providing you with a harsher slide, and your eyes all but roll into the back of your head when she carefully bites down on your nipple, her fingers rolling the other.

The free hand not occupied with your chest curls around your waist, helping pull you down against her. Eventually, Azzi begins to control your pace as you’re struggling to keep yourself up, and the sensations are overwhelming in the best way possible. You’re impossibly wet, sliding against Azzi’s stomach with little resistance, angling your hips to get the best friction against your clit. You wrap your arms around her neck, tears pooling in your eyes because it feels so good, and holding on is all you can do, moaning breathlessly into her ear.

Azzi pulls away from your chest with a wet noise, her lips swollen and slick, eyes glazed over with want. It makes you breathless for an entirely different reason now. You’re the only person who gets to see Azzi like this, needy and determined to make you fall apart. You were the first, but to know that you’re also the last? You will your hips into a firmer grind, the slight possessiveness making your head spin.

But then she releases you, something dark, smug, but also reverent clouding her expression. “Take it,” she murmurs, leaning back against the armrest slightly. She’s no longer holding you up by the hips, but her hand lingers at your chest, tweaking and pulling your bud until it juts out firmly, wet with her spit. “You wanted this so bad? Show me. Take it.”

Groaning, you tighten your grip on her shoulders, pressing yourself further against her body for stability as you rock into her. Her face is screwed up, sweat beading at her temples, and you can’t be sure if it’s from the heat of the room or from the sheer determination of clenching her abs. Either way, you can’t stop yourself from pressing your lips to hers, swallowing her indulgent moan as you chase your high. 

Her piercing catches against your clit again, causing you to lose your rhythm momentarily. Azzi bites your lip once in warning as she orders, “Faster.” Your thighs and core burns from the exertion, but the desire coursing through your veins motivates you. When your pace returns to her liking, she rewards you with a blinding smile and a “So good for me, baby. You wanna come?”

You nod shakily against her, forehead pressing into hers, and she kisses you once more – slow, lingering, filthy like she’s trying to memorize the way you taste when you’re desperate for her. Azzi takes your hips in her hands again and she aids in your rhythm, pulling you onto her harshly, drawing you closer and closer to your orgasm until a cry rips from your throat. “So close, Az,” you whine, meeting her eyes. They’re more black than brown, her pupils blown wide, and the sheer need reflected there makes you weak. “Please, please, please, Azzi.”

“Let go,” she murmurs, her voice dangerously sweet compared to the way she’s dragging you across her stomach. “Take what you need. Gonna give it to you, you know that.”

And that’s all you need. You rut against her once more, twice, your jaw dropping with pleasure, body tingling as you fall apart over her. You press your lips to hers to silence your cries and she swallows each and every whimpered sound like it energizes her. She’s still guiding you, her movements slowing now, letting you ride out the aftershocks as you come back down to earth. You’re a little boneless, your forehead pressing to her clavicle, and she ghosts a kiss across your temple as she rubs your back soothingly.

Clearly, Azzi can’t seem to help herself, because she presses a smile to the crown of your head as she jokingly mutters, “So much better than homework, right?”

You roll your eyes, laughing, and you try to not think too hard about the fact that your throat feels scratchy and rough. “Much better,” you agree, feeling the weightlessness and ease seep into your bones, something deliciously heavy and comforting that makes you feel refreshed. New. “You’re so needy. Couldn’t wait twenty minutes.”

Azzi gasps indignantly. “I’ve waited like, two weeks!” she exclaims, nudging you halfheartedly. “A girl has needs, you know.” She says this last part with a snooty raise of her nose, which makes you shake your head, giggling again as you press a chaste, innocent kiss to her lips. She chases after you when you pull away, but the distance makes her eyes narrow, brows pulling together like she’s just realized something. “You couldn’t wait either. It was all ‘please, Azzi,’ this, ‘make me come, Azzi,’ that. You’re dirty.”

That makes you lean away from her, disbelief in your features. “Me?” you echo, aghast, fully aware that the both of you are arguing like toddlers at this point. “You’re dirty. You made me ride your abs–” Azzi raises a challenging brow which has you backtracking immediately. “Okay, I don’t know about made me. That was really hot, by the way.” You punctuate your point with another kiss, one that lasts not nearly long enough so you can get back to the point you were trying to make. “Also, you should probably disinfect your piercing.” Azzi hums, arms curling around your waist, and she ghosts her lips across your collarbone as you continue to defend yourself. “Either way, you’re still dirty.”

Azzi doesn’t say anything. She glances at you with an amused grin, then glances down at her stomach, where she glistens from a mixture of your slick and her sweat. Mostly your arousal, though. A flush creeps up your neck at the sight. You hadn’t registered how soaked she was. Having made her point, she swipes her finger through the mess, raising it to the light as if inspecting it. “You did this and I’m the dirty one?”

“Yes,” you deadpan, but the corners of your lips quirk up with amusement. Her smile softens, but morphs into one of confusion when you slide down her body, knees pressing into the cushions in between her legs. “Let me make it up to you?” you offer, palming her thighs, fingers slipping under the waistband of her shorts once more. You can tell that her breathing has picked up, her mood shifting as easily as you crawled down.

“Yes, please,” she affirms, lifting her hips to help you pull her shorts and boxers down in one quick motion. You groan to yourself when her cunt is revealed to you – she’s soaked, her arousal having seeped into the cotton of her boxers, and you press a quick kiss to the inside of her thigh. “Don’t tease me.”

“I would never,” you lie, and then tease her anyways. You avoid her cunt completely, opting to lick a thick stripe across her stomach, gathering the slick pooled there on your tongue.

It makes her hips jump up, her voice pitched and a little breathless with shock as she mutters, “Shit, baby…” You smile to yourself, glancing up at her through your lashes, taking in her wrecked expression and the way her pupils are blown wide. Azzi is gripping onto the couch cushion like she’s teetering on the edge of falling apart already.

You don’t stop until her stomach is clean. Before you can settle between her thighs again, she grabs you by the shoulders, hauling you up until she can kiss you again. Azzi deepens the kiss immediately, her tongue searching for yours, for the taste of you, and the moans greedily as you squeeze her hips.

When she breaks away for air, her chest is heaving, and she looks ruined, ready for you to give her what she’s been craving for two weeks. You plant a farewell kiss at the edge of her jaw before trailing your lips down her body, sucking hickeys into her skin, soothing each one with your tongue.

Finally, you reach her cunt, and the sight of her spread out before you makes your mouth water. She tangles her fingers through your hair, guiding you closer, and you don’t make her wait any longer before you kiss her clit gently, smiling when her hips buck. Your tongue swipes through her soaked folds, her body shuddering when you moan indulgently into her, and you wrap your arms around her thighs to keep her stabilized.

You fuck her like you’re starved – which you may as well be. Your nose brushes against her sensitive clit with every motion you make, making her cry out, her hand pushing you to the spot she likes as if you don’t know her body like the back of your hand. Still, you listen to the direction, allowing her to pull your head towards her clit. You suck it into your mouth, cheeks hollowing from the pressure, rubbing the broad side of your tongue over it when she moans softly.

Her thighs enclose around your head, the pleasure causing her hips to buck wildly, and this? You could die here, in between her legs, and you wouldn’t even be able to think of a better way to go out. Azzi’s cries are like music to your ears, her taste like nectar.

When her fingers tighten in your hair, her hips beginning to gyrate in search of her high, you press a little further into her, allowing her to grind against your tongue. Your hands rub soothing patterns against her abdomen, eyes slipping shut at the sound of her moans, and before you know it, she’s whining, “Close, baby.”

You take her free hand in yours, squeezing gently as her body trembles, and she holds onto you as she comes, her body melting into the couch cushions as you work her slowly, helping her come back down. You know Azzi gets oversensitive fast, so you listen for her cues, letting up on her when it becomes too much. Drawing back, you plant one last kiss to her thigh, her navel, her collarbone, then to her lips, where you feel her smile grow against you.

You smooth out her hair by her forehead where a few of the strands have escaped from the tie. Her eyes blink open, her gaze impossibly tender, her smile soft. It makes you fall a little bit further in love with her, which is probably a feat in and of itself. “Okay?” you whisper.

She turns her head to kiss your wrist. “Okay,” she confirms, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you flush against her. Then, in a quieter tone of voice, she confesses, “Missed you.”

You kiss her cheek, tucking your head into the crook of her neck. “Missed you too, Az,” you respond. “Never travel for two weeks ever again.”

She laughs gently, her nails skirting across your skin. “I’ll see what I can do.”

The both of you fall into a calm silence until you break it. “I’m sorry I neglected you,” you say genuinely, feeling a little remorseful. “I just wanted to get my work done, but I think I got a little too obsessive about it. You were right to say I wasn’t getting anywhere with it.”

“You know I understand your schedule,” Azzi says softly. “You have a lot to do. I just needed you.” She doesn’t say much else – and she doesn’t need to. That’s just the truth.

You smile a little as you kiss her jaw. “I know,” you murmur. “I’ll do better.”

She tightens her arms around you. “Good. You can start by helping me into the bathtub and ordering takeout.”

That makes you laugh, your nose brushing against her cheek. “Yes, ma’am.” The room goes quiet again, nothing but the gentle hum of the AC and your breathing filling the space. The drag of Azzi’s fingers against your skin lulls you into a sense of peace, the pressure alleviating from your shoulders, and –

You pause. Your eyes blink open, your gaze falling onto your iPad. Pressure?

Saturated liquid water enters an orifice at a pressure of 100 psia and is throttled to a lower pressure of 20 psia–

You close your eyes in disbelief, the gears in your brain turning at rapid speed. You’re so fucking dumb.

“Az,” you murmur. She hums, letting you know she’s listening. “Can I start a little later?”

“What?” she mutters, but you’re already reaching over to the coffee table, grabbing your iPad and the pen that had rolled under the table leg. Azzi sighs dramatically as she watches you open it, but she presses a smile to the crown of your head as you work through the calculations. It only takes you about a minute, but you circle your answer with finality, latching the pen to the magnet on the device and closing it. “An orgasm was all it took to get that brain working, huh?”

“Maybe,” you admit a little sheepishly.

“You’re lucky I love you,” she says with faux indignance, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

And all you can do is stare at her, a soft little smile on your face. Because you are. You really, really are.

[acosmicbee]

Black Sheep

(FYI, I have a couple of requests I'm working on rn (including one for a mafia mom which is top of my list) but I got my wisdom teeth out today so I felt like editing something to distract myself from the discomfort and also just because I felt like it so have some mafia/gang family while you wait. Enjoy! Also some TWS: Mention of harm towards Y/N, death threats towards Y/N, infantilism at the very end)

The basement was cold and humid. You could feel your clothes sticking to your skin, partially because of the moisture and partially because of the dried blood. They hardly ever took your blindfold and gag off, other than to feed you the bare minimum and give you some water. It had been this way for the past few... days? Weeks? You couldn't tell down here.

All you knew was that you had been walking home from school when you'd been grabbed. You knew why before they'd even talked to you: your family were leaders of a gang. Everyone was involved, well, minus you. You were just the accident kid who everyone pretended didn't exist. Basically, if your kidnappers, who were 100% from the other gang in the city wanted anything, no matter how small, they grabbed the wrong kid.

You could hear them coming again. Fancy shoes clicked on a stone staircase before the door to the room you were in was unlocked. You'd long since lost feeling in your hands and legs, both bound to the chair with a coarse rope that dug into your skin. It would leave permanent marks, you were sure, if you ever got out of here.

You flinched as the gag was harshly pulled from your mouth. The action caused your cracked lips to begin to bleed. You ran your tongue over it, tasting your blood as you waited for your captor to speak. 

"Who are you?" He asked. His voice was harsh and cold. "You're part of the L/N family, no?"

"Depends." He growled and in the next moment you found yourself soaked with ice cold water. You spluttered and tried to escape the frosty feeling that was creeping into your bones.

"Answer me!" He demanded. "Are you part of the family, yes or no?!"

"Yes! Yes, I'm a L/N!" You were shivering. Your body trembled against the ropes, causing them to dig deeper into your flesh.

"If you're truly a L/N then how come you claim to know nothing?! Tell me, what are your family's plans!"

"I don't know! I'm not part of the gang stuff!" You pleaded. Of course, you'd been trying to plead your case since you got here and no one had listened. You doubted they were going to suddenly listen now. 

"You're useless! At this point we should just kill you or put you up for ransom." He stated, clearly furious. "Wilson! Bring me the video camera!" 

You heard shuffling and talking for a while. You weren't paying attention, couldn't with how cold you felt. It would be a miracle if you didn't get sick... or die from cold. Finally, someone pulled your head back and something was pushed against your neck.

"Look L/Ns. We have your child, Y/N. If you ever want to see them alive again you will pay us $550,000. We will be in contact with payment details, but know this. If you try to attack us, or get the police on us, they're dead." You flinched when you felt pain on your neck, followed by the feeling of warm blood dripping from a new cut. "This time it was shallow. Next time? Next time it won't be." 

As he packed up, you heard him ordering his people around, you finally found your voice.

"T-they aren't gonna pay." Your voice quivered as you shook, trying to stop your teeth from chattering. 

"Excuse me?" He asked, sounding just as angry.

"They don't like me much. They aren't gonna pay you." You reiterated. 

"We'll see about that." He said, leaving the basement.

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"What...?" The Hartshorn family were all sitting around, reading a letter that had arrived from the L/N family. The ransom recording had been sent out earlier that day, and they hadn't been expecting a response so quickly. What was even more surprising was the contents of the letter.

'You thought that would hurt us? That they were worth $550,000?? Well, you're wrong. They're barely worth $55. Do what you want.' The letter was typed and they clearly hadn't spent very long on it. 

The family were conflicted. Of course they could do what was expected and kill you, it would be simple. However, they had taken you and tortured you when you hadn't deserved any of it. You had been right all those times you begged to be let go and claimed ignorance of your family's plans.

"Colton, are they still in the basement?" Calista asked. She was the middle child, three years older than you were.

"Of course? Where else would they be?" He asked, feeling a bit bad about that bucket of water he'd thrown on you.

"Colt you idiot!" She yelled, running from the room.

"What did I do?" He asked, looking to his parents for answers. His mother and father both had grim looks on their faces while his younger brother sat on his mother's lap.

"Colton... what temperature is the basement? On top of that, what happens when you mix soaking wet clothes with cold temperatures?"

"Hypothermia..." He paled, running after Calista. Bronwyn Hartshorn sighed, placing her youngest child onto the floor and waving him off to go play before she turned to her husband.

"We need to talk."

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"Have you come to kill me?" Your voice was weak and slurred. Your entire body felt numb. They'd forgotten to put the gag back in after they recorded the ransom video. You couldn't even make a noise of shock when the blindfold was pulled off your head. 

"No." It was the girl this time. Her voice was firm. Your eyes closed before she jolted you awake.

"You can't go to sleep right now. Stay awake." She demanded. "Colton! Go grab some clothes from my room! It doesn't matter which ones!"

You drifted off again before you woke up burning. You screamed, water splashing everywhere. Your frozen brain couldn't process you were in a bathtub full of warm water, not a boiling pot.

The girl talked to you the entire time, scrubbing off dried blood. By the time you were pulled from the bath, the water was pink. Your wrists and ankles were bandaged, along with the cut on your neck and the other injuries all over.

By the time you were redressed in warm clothes and tucked into an actual bed, not even a hurricane could've woken you up. You were completely oblivious to the conversation your 'new' family was having at that moment.

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Soft classical music was playing somewhere. You felt so light, almost like you were dancing along with it. Only the music never stopped and you just kept on spinning. Faster and faster, round and round until your eyes opened with a start and you rolled onto your side, spluttering up stomach acid.

You coughed, throat burning, before collapsing back onto your back. Still the music continued, drifting on and on like some wordless lullaby. Your mind drifted with it, feeling free to fly. After being in pain for so many days, not feeling the sting of cuts or the throb of bruises was bliss. You could barely register being lifted from a bed as someone changed your clothes. You were placed back onto clean sheets and gently tucked back in.

At one point a straw is gently placed into your mouth and you taste a rich broth. Your mind never truly surfaces during this time, your consciousness just below the surface. You can hear talking, but you can't process it. You can feel yourself being moved sometimes, but you can't protest. Until one day, the hazy mist begins to lift a little.

You start to remember the conversations you hear. Then, you can finally twitch your fingers as you slowly begin to wake up. Your eyes open and slowly adjust to the room you're in. Theres a projector going that looks like a stuffed animal, making green stars, moons and comets dance all over the ceiling. You can barely make out anything in the dim light minus the bed you're laying on, the nightstands on either side of the headboard, the chair beside the nightstand closest to you, and a wardrobe.

Your body trembles as you sit up, still a bit weak as you start to recover. You swung your legs over the edge of the bed, your feet sinking into the cozy carpeting as you try your best to stagger over to the closed curtains along one wall. Pulling them open was hard, but when you did you could see the moon outside. 

It had been so long since you saw the sky that you just stood there, leaning against the wall staring up at the full moon. Despite the city lights blocking out the stars, you could still imagine them there, above the lights and clouds, twinkling away. It was an enchanting view, one you'd taken for granted before how ever many days or weeks you'd spent in that... torture room.

You absentmindedly reached down to itch your leg only to find it covered with a bandage. You were momentarily distracted from the sight of the moon as you began to inspect your body. Every cut you'd received had been tended to. Including... your hands found the bandages covering your neck. Immediately you were back in the basement, tied to that chair as a knife was dragged across your neck.

You only snapped back to reality when someone grabbed your shoulders. Even when you tried to struggle to break free, you were just lifted into someones arms before being shushed and rocked back and forth. Tears streamed down your face and you couldn't tell if it was due to humiliation or the trauma you had suffered.

It took a while before you stopped shaking and tears stopped falling. Then you were left staring at the ceiling covered in the projection of the night sky, pitifully sniffling every few seconds. The same classical music was still playing in the background, slow and never changing.

"You're okay, sweetheart. It's just the pain medication messing with your brain a little, hm? Although it is relieving to see you up and moving." A deep voice said. It was obviously a man, but it didn't belong to your father or any of his men that you knew. Now that you thought about it... where were you? Did your family pay the ransom? Did they actually love you?

"W-where?" Your throat was dry and scratchy and your voice shook. It was probably from whatever meds the man had mentioned, which was also why you were so fuzzy headed. The man chuckled, carefully walking back over to the bed and setting you back down.

"You're where you need to be, honey. Just close your eyes and sleep." He said, tucking you back in. You made a noise of protest, trying to sit back up again. You didn't need sleep, you needed answers.

"Who are you?" You asked, fighting as hard as you could when he tried to push you back down. He sighed, apparently realizing you weren't going to play along without the reply you wanted. He sat down in the chair at your bedside. You could barely make out his face in the light from the projector.

"I am your dad, Y/N." He stated.

"No, you aren't. I know who my father is." You said.

"If you'll recall I said 'dad' not 'father'." He said, leaning back in the chair. "Your father essentially gave you to us, so we will step up, as your new family."

"What does that even mean?!" You demanded. You were getting worked up when a woman entered the room. She sighed, looking at the man, after giving you a weak smile.

"I just managed to put Andy back to sleep only to find you here keeping them awake. Let the child sleep Dominic. You can explain more in the morning." The woman lay her hand on your forehead, her fingers cold. "Your temperature is coming down. You've had a bad fever for quite a bit, dear. I promise, you're safe here, so go to bed and all will be explained come morning."

"Ah, Bronwyn is right. It is rather late. Good night Y/N, we will talk more in the morning." The man said, ruffling your hair before leaving the room.

"Good night, dear. I promise you'll get your answers and that nothing will hurt you here. Sleep tight darling." She kissed you on the forehead before exiting the room herself. You were left all alone with the projection of the sky, the classical music, and the storm of thoughts raging inside of your head. 

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At some point you must've managed to drift off to sleep, because the next time you opened your eyes you were being gently shaken awake. The classical music had stopped at some point, you faintly realized as you began to wake up. When your eyes finally opened you were a little surprised to see a child, kneeling on the edge of your bed, shaking you.

When the kid saw that you were awake he grinned before hopping onto the chair beside your bed. He looked to be possibly five or six, which only confused you more. He sat in the chair, picking up a teddy bear that had been placed there, and toying with it in his lap as he stared at you. You stared back, still waking up and trying to process what was going on.

"Breakfast will be here in a few minutes." He finally informed you.

"Where are we?" You asked. He just blinked up at you for a second before shrugging.

"Mother and father will tell you that kinda stuff. They said I'm not allowed to." He answered, playing with his bear's arms. With that answer, and him clearly being interested in his bear, you took a moment to look around the room you were in.

You were laying in a large, cozy bed covered in fluffy blankets and quilts. There were practically a million pillows between you and the headboard as well as a few stuffed animals. There was a beanbag in one of the corners of the room and the whole floor was covered in a white rug. The walls were lined with some bookshelves and there was a large desk and a desk chair on the other side of the room. Three separate doors lined the walls, you assumed a closet, bathroom and the exit.

Muffled talking slowly became more and more audible outside the room. It sounded almost like bickering. The voices were familiar but you couldn't exactly place where from. Beside you, the kid just rolled his eyes, jumping from the chair.

"I'll go get mother and father." He said, going to the farthest door and opening it. You got a peek into the hallway before your eyes locked with another person and suddenly, you were back in that room. You were still tied to a chair with those cruel eyes looking down at you as you were cut and hit. As a knife slid across your neck... As... As you froze... cold. Why were you so cold all of a sudden??

You flinched back as you felt a pressure near you on the bed, striking out when someone touched your shoulder. The blow never connected, as whoever was touching you gently gripped your wrist, slowly moving your hand to rest on their chest.

"There you go, breathe with me." A voice coaxed you. It was gentle and kind. Your mind slowly began to work again, you felt your lungs burn, forcing yourself to take a stuttering breath. Your cheeks felt wet, yet you couldn't remember if you started to cry. When your eyes finally opened again, when the world finally came back into focus, you were staring into unfamiliar green eyes. Your captor wasn't here, yet you'd already figured out where you were.

"You're Bronwyn Hartshorn." It was a whisper. You watched as her face tightened for a moment before she took a deep breath and nodded. A tense silence settled over you as you pulled your hand back, watching her warily.

"Yes. I am." She stated. "I believe... there have been some major conflicts and misunderstandings. For that, I as the mother of Colton and Calista Hartshorn, deeply apologize. My husband, Dominic, feels the same. Especially after some... details have come to light."

"Your parents said they didn't want you." The same kid said, entering the room. Bronwyn gasped and gave the kid a sharp look. You felt like your emotions had just been hit and run over by a train, yet you couldn't find it in yourself to be surprised.

"Andy, that is not the kind of thing we say." She said, picking the kid up and placing him in her lap. "Apologize."

"I'm sorry your parents don't want you." He said. Bronwyn placed a hand over his mouth.

"I'm sorry. We hoped to break the news to you a little more gently... Andy isn't at the age where he fully knows what he should and shouldn't say."

"I... I knew it. I knew they wouldn't come for me." You murmured. Despite that, it didn't make the truth of the situation any less hurtful. Now you were stuck on enemy territory with no way out. At least it didn't seem like they were trying to kill you anymore...?

There was a knock at the door before it opened. A man came in, kissing Bronwyn's temple before he smiled at you. Behind him a maid trailed in, pushing a cart with some food and a tea set on it. He didn't seem as effected by the tense air and waited until the maid left before speaking.

"Are you settling in alright? How do you like the room? I know the walls are a bit bland and the bookshelves are pretty empty, but once you feel up to it you can help decorate. Is there anything you feel you need to be comfortable in this room right now?" He asked. The questions confused you but you could barely get a word out before he pulled a small wooden tray from the cart and set it up, forming a bed tray table. He then placed the plates and a teacup onto it.

"I would offer you some coffee, but with all the fever reducers you've been on the past couple of days I'm not sure it's the best idea." He said, finally handing you a fork.

"Wait, can we go back to the room thing? Why would I need to decorate?" You asked, pushing away the sinking feeling in your stomach. "Speaking of which, what's with the sudden good cop act? What is going on?"

"Its simple, we've decided to become your new family." Dominic stated, as if it were the most logical thing in the world. Bronwyn rolled her eyes from where she sat on the edge of the bed.

"What?! Why?! Is this some sort of guilt thing? I'm fine. If anything, I'd probably be better alone." You argued, the sinking feeling returning with a passion.

"Sweetheart," Bronwyn ignored your glare, holding Andy on her lap as he played. "You deserve a family. Even if we didn't meet through the best of means and we have a lot to atone for, this could be the start of something beautiful. We want to not only make it up to you, but make you feel loved."

"Although, we should probably work on helping you move on. Calista and Colton tried to come by earlier to apologize. Do you remember what caused your panic attack so we can try to remove it?" Dominic asked. 

You couldn't see a way out right now so you had to force yourself to comply. Maybe in the future there would be some instance where you could find a way to freedom. "Eyes... Their eyes..."

Dominic blinked. His eyes were similar to theirs, but a shade lighter of blue. Just different enough to not fully cause you to panic. "Well, we'll see what we can do."

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The next few months were hard to adjust to. Colton and Calista had eventually been allowed to visit you, although they'd been wearing colored contacts since then. The entire family seemed to swarm around you, trying their best to make you feel welcomed. Your room had been filled with your favorite books and hobbies. It would seem like a dream come true on the outside, but you knew better.

They had gotten you a phone, but it had every tracking and monitoring app on it known to man. Dominic offered you free use of his black card, but you knew he would know exactly what you ordered and any packages would be checked before they were given to you. The clothes you were given had little trackers sewn into the seams in places you wouldn't have noticed if you weren't looking. 

As the months flew by you felt more and more trapped. Your mind was deteriorating a little everyday. You needed to be outside alone. You needed to go somewhere alone. You just needed to be completely alone. So you 'borrowed' some clothes from Colton and Calista, waited for the right moment and the second the family was busy and focused on some major issue with your 'old' family, you slipped out the door and disappeared into the night. Hopefully, never to be found by them again.

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It was warm inside the small cafe next to the bus station. You kept your hood up the whole time you purchased a bus ticket across the country, lying to the ticket person about divorced parents when she asked why someone your age was traveling alone. You used the rest of the cash you swiped on your way out the door to buy a nice hot cup of tea and some sandwiches for the ride.

Outside snow was steadily falling, landing in powdery drifts. Every so often a snowplow would drive by and you would hear the shovel scrape the road as they went. You wish you had grabbed warmer clothing, but these were the best you could do in your situation. You were wearing one of Colton's sweatshirts, with one of Calista's shirts and a pair of her sweatpants. You made sure to take a clean pair of Colton's socks as well as Calista's snow boots, which were a size too big. The scarf and mittens were Bronwyn's and the large hat you wore was Dominic's.

The cafe was cozy and warm, thankfully, and had a large screen displaying the bus arrival times. Soft jazz music was playing through the speakers, and the overhead lights weren't too harsh. All in all, it felt safe but you refused to let your guard down. You know that by now someone would've discovered you were missing. The only good thing about the snow was that your footprints would be hidden by the time anyone came looking.

The real struggle would be deciding what to do when you finally got to your destination. You had no more money. No phone, wallet or ID. You had nothing but the clothes on your back and the few sandwiches you'd bought for the trip. However, you decided that would be a problem for future you to deal with.

'The 10:45 bus is now arriving. All ticket holders please proceed to boarding area A with your luggage. I repeat, the 10:45 bus...' A voice spoke over the small intercom, interrupting the jazz. You took the last sip of your tea, throwing the empty cup into a recycling bin as you made your way to the boarding area.

You were one of the first people on the bus as you didn't have luggage to load. The bus driver gave you a once over as you handed him your ticket, but ultimately decided he didn't care enough to question where a teen your age was going by themself at 10:45 at night. You chose a window seat near the front of the bus, happy that it wasn't too uncomfortable. You pulled your hood further over your eyes, leaning on the window as the bus loaded. You were lucky to end up with an empty seat beside you, so you fastened your seatbelt before closing your eyes and falling asleep.

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When you woke up, you had the feeling something was wrong. It was pitch black outside, probably the middle of the night. It seemed you and the bus driver were the only ones awake at the moment. As you continued staring out the window you saw headlights on the road behind the bus. The car was going fast and your heart started racing when you saw the black sports car pull up beside the bus. The same sports car Dominic had been so happy to drive you around in whenever you let him.

You knew you hadn't brought any trackers with you, you had been so careful to cover your tracks, so how had they found you? They wouldn't have planted a tracker in you... right? Slowly, in the dim light of the bus you ran a hand along your arms and neck, feeling for any kind of raised bump you didn't remember. You wouldn't find it until you checked your legs, feeling a small lump right above your left ankle.

At the moment there was no way to take it out. You didn't have any kind of razor on you, and even if you wanted too there was no guarantee you wouldn't cut something important and bleed out. In fact, you'd likely pass out from the pain before you could even get it out. There was no way out of this, you realized.

The car shot forward, before pulling ahead of the bus and slamming on the breaks. The bus swerved, unstable on the icy road. Before you knew it, you felt weightless and then the bus slammed into the ground. Your head hit the window and you blacked out for a few seconds. When you came to you heard people screaming and talking. Blood dripped down your forehead and you had to take a moment to remember what had happened.

Your hands shook and you realized you couldn't undo your seatbelt without falling. The bus was on it's side and you were on the side up in the air. Your ears were ringing and you grabbed for anything to steady yourself as a wave of nausea passed over you. You couldn't move, couldn't think. You just wanted to take a little nap, just a teensy tiny sleep.

That was when the window beside you shattered. Tiny shards of glass cut your cheek and sliced your hands. You couldn't even react as someone reached in and pulled you out of the bus. The wind was cold and the snow stung as it melted on your wounds. You could see the snow on the ground turning red as you bled onto it.

Someone was holding your face, trying to talk to you, but your mind was just too spacey to hear them. You were cradled in someones arms as they brought you to a car, ignoring your whimpers as the crash replayed in your head. That... that had been your fault. You had caused all those people to be put in danger, possibly killed.

A hand ran through your hair, shushing you as tears fell down your cheeks. The car sped off down the road into the snowy night as you were brought right back to where it all began.

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You could barely recall what happened after the bus crash. It was mostly a blurry haze of pain and too-bright lights. You remembered being shook awake a few times, muffled voices talking around you and a persistent ringing in your ears. Eventually you were carefully fed some medication and allowed to rest. You fell asleep with gentle talking around you and a hand playing with your hair.

The medication made you tired and hazy. The few times you were awake you were either being fed, being helped to the bathroom or crying. You felt immense guilt for what happened with the bus, you didn't know if anyone had died or not. Even if they hadn't, any injuries would've been your fault. 

It was always the worse when you woke up crying from a guilt induced nightmare. In a second someone would be by your side, shushing you as they gently tucked you in again. You'd have to listen to them coo words of love and affection, knowing it was this same obsession that caused the accident in the first place. You shouldn't have tried to run. You shouldn't have fought back. 

Slowly you were weened off the pain meds as your brain healed. You'd had a pretty serious concussion, Dominic told you when you were lucid enough to understand. You were lucky though and their doctor didn't seem to think you'd have any lasting damage. 

The first day you were finally sober enough to do simple things like stand for a bit and walk around, the family had finally confronted you about what happened. They'd pulled up chairs alongside the bed, minus Dominic who sat on the edge of the bed and Andy who cuddled into your side.

"For how far you got, it was a good attempt at tag." Dominic said, as if this was a game and not an attempt at escape. "Next time, lets reduce the amount of collateral damage, okay?"

"Tag?" Your voice was shaking with confusion and anger. Was this just a game to them? People had probably gotten hurt in the crash if your own injuries were any sign, yet they were treating you like a kid who was upset they lost a game. 

"For the time being, we'll have to move your room sweetheart." Bronwyn said, reaching for you only to retract her hand when you flinched away. "We just think the room you're in right now is a bit too dangerous for you. Especially since you proved you can't be trusted with something as simple as random clothes."

"You're going to be moved to the room next to ours and across the hall from Colton's room. That way theres a bit more surveillance. We don't want you to accidentally hurt yourself trying to 'run away'." Dominic said. The way he spoke gave you the impression that he didn't believe in you at all. He truly believed that your running away would fail and they'd always manage to drag you back here.

"Now that you're off the meds enough to move and thus be a danger to yourself, we're gonna move you to your new room, okay? We already decorated for you which is why we hadn't moved you before." Calista told you, waving Andy away as she began to untuck you.

"Don't worry darling. I made sure the projector and music box made it into your new room. That should help you sleep the first few nights while you adjust to the new space." Bronwyn said. As you were hoisted into Calista's arms. She was shockingly strong for someone who looked to be only a little bit older than you and carried you like it was nothing.

The new room was much of the same, except for the security camera in the corner which could see the whole room. On top of that the decor seemed more attuned to a child, not a teenager. There were more bright colors and fluffy stuffed toys than had been in the first room.

"There's an en suite bathroom for changing." Bronwyn showed you. "But this way we'll be able to monitor you almost 24/7."

As you stared into the blinking security camera, pointed straight at the bed you had been placed on, you could only wonder where your life had gone so wrong. 

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"Y/N! Y/N! Colton took my teddy bear!" Andy barged into your room yelling. It was something you'd gotten used to over the past few months here. The general lack of care for your privacy still made you uncomfortable some days.

"Hey! Y/N isn't involved in this. You can get your stupid bear back when you tell me where you hid my phone you little thief!" Colton hissed, barging in after him. You just groaned, realizing you weren't going to get any sort of peace and quiet. 

"Boys!" Bronwyn hissed, appearing in your doorway with a tray of apple slices and other small snacks. "You can argue about this in your own rooms. Leave Y/N alone, you know they enjoy their quiet time."

The boys bickered as they left, Colton swiping a few apple slices as he went. Bronwyn groaned, setting the tray on your bedside table. "Honestly, you'd think they were both seven with the way they act. I brought you some snacks since you didn't seem to eat much at lunch. Calista is still on her... 'business trip' but your father should be home for dinner tonight."

You apathetically nibbled on an apple. You knew full well where Calista was, she was out training to take over leadership of the gang from Dominic when the time came. Apparently you were 'too fragile' to just be told that.

There was a sudden crash out in the hallway followed by more yelling from the boys. Bronwyn groaned, rising to her feet. "Honestly your brothers are going to drive me mental one of these days. Enjoy the snacks while I go sort this out, okay? I'll be back soon and then we can spend some bonding time together."

As she left the room all you could do was finish your apple slice as you stared at the blinking camera, hoping that one day this nightmare would end.

[smileynekoz]

nicholas hard thought | 1:11 | wc: 1k

mature content under the cut !

drinking game! take a shot every time she says his name .-. i’m a name girl i’m SORRY

just having thoughts of nicholas absolutely manhandling you. hitting it from the back like a madman, grabbing a fistful of your hair with one hand while the other grips your hip, occasionally landing a smack on your ass as he tells you how good you’re taking him.

“so fucking good for me, yeah?” smack! “taking me so fucking well,” he growls through gritted teeth. “tell me how much you love being stuffed so full.” he’d demand. you’d maybe manage to mutter a fucked out “nico~” laced with pathetic whines, but that obviously isn’t good enough for him. he’d pull you up by your hair so your back is flush against his chest, then opts out the hand in your hair with his arm (or hand) around your neck, holding you in place while he pistons into you with this new position. “i asked you a question. answer it.” he whispers in your ear harshly.

“fuck! n-nico i l-love i-it! i- mmm f-fuck… ah i l-love it s-so m-much,” you’d cry and breathe out.

“what a g-good little toy you are. was that so hard?”

“uh uh,” you shake your head as best as you can.

he lets go of you, making you nearly fall flat on your face, but you catch yourself. he pulls out of you quickly, and before you can protest, he’s demanding you to roll over onto your back. you instinctively spread your legs wide as you get situated on your back.

“good girl,” nico smiles menacingly, barely above a whisper. you would’ve missed it had you not been watching his lips.

he hovers above you, planting soft kisses on your lips and face as his tip grazes your folds gently. he gives you a false sense of calm before harshly slamming himself back into you without a warning.

“fuck! nico…” you whine out, throwing your head back and squeezing your eyes shut. you wrap your legs around his waist and dig your nails into his shoulders hard enough to break skin. he winces at the initial sting, but then is 100% a fucking mess over the feeling the next second. his own breathing becoming more jagged, little whimpers escaping his lips every so often (even though it kills him to do so).

“h-har-d-der p-ple-ease!” you whine, giving him the most desperate eyes, asking him to finish you off (though both of you knew you were so close anyway).

“harder huh?” he’d breathe out, not changing his pace. “beg for it.”

“n-nico i-i al-already s-said p-please!” you mewl.

he grips your face tightly, then is basically touching noses with you. he stops his movements. “did i fucking stutter?” he tilts his head waiting for a response.

“i- uh-“

“oh shut up,” he lets go of your face harshly, throwing it across the room if it weren’t attached to your body.

he grabs you, moving you where you need to be so he can switch spots with you. “climb on.”

“w-what?” you blink at him, so used to being fucked into the mattress.

“go ahead. you want to be fucked harder? why don’t you do it yourself, hm?” motioning a hand to his painfully hard cock.

you can’t reply. you just lick your lips and nod as you position yourself above him while he holds his cock straight up for you. you let your folds rub back and forth against his tip a couple times before he gets impatient and slams you down onto him by your waist.

“fuck!” you yelp after letting out a gargled cry. you catch yourself on his chest, immediately digging your nails into his flesh again. you whine like a bitch in heat as you’re slowly moving yourself up and down on his length. about a minute later, you’re making short, quick motions with your hips, bouncing on him to chase both of your highs.

“y-yes baby f-fuck! y-you’re doing so g-good,” nicholas would breathe out, throwing his head back and shutting his eyes. the grip he has on your hips begins to tighten as he feels himself getting closer, and he can feel that you are too.

little does he know your legs were gonna give out any second. your bounces start slowing and your face begins to contort from the burn in your thighs. “someone’s getting t-tired.”

you can only manage to whimper in response but he doesn’t care. “cmere baby, hold on,” he warns, and you do so. you lean forward on his chest, grabbing his shoulders tightly. “you ready?”

you’d nod with your head buried in his chest and a quiet “mhm,” before he starts pounding into you from below. he’s moaning and groaning through his teeth as you whine and cry against his chest, your nails scratching his shoulders nearly to the point of no repair.

“come undone for me, baby. fall apart all over my cock, yeah?”

“nicholas~” his name falls off your tongue like a prayer before you start fluttering around him, your orgasm washing over your whole body.

he loses it completely over you moaning his full name, only loving it so much when you say it. he follows right behind you, keeping himself pushed up inside you as he cums.

“t-take all of it like the good girl you are. take every- last- drop-” he grunts between deep thrusts. “want you walking around with mini yous in your tummy,” he growls into your neck as you both attempt to catch your breath.

he regains his composure quicker than you, perhaps overcome by his last statement he made.

“ready baby?”

“w-what?”

his arms wrap around your waist, then he flips you over, him now on top of you. without hesitation he starts fucking into you again.

“n-no n-nico i c-can’t t-take an-ny m-ore!” you cry out.

he speeds up his pace. “you want me to stop, huh?”

you stare at him for a moment, admiring his beauty. the way his hair moves in front of his face with each thrust, the way his plump pink lips are slightly agape, the way his eyes are black with lust as they intensely search yours, the way his toned arms trap you on either side of your head. you could stare at him forever.

“f-f-fuck n-no,” you’d breathe.

“that’s what i fucking thought. such a good l-little fuckdoll, aren’t you?”

nicholas proceeds to fuck you into the night over, and over, and over again until there’s literally no way you’re not testing positive in a couple weeks w his babies !! :D

-

sorry i ended it so abrupt :D the thots stopped flowing hehe BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED FOR FIRST BIT OF WORK ON THIS BLOG!! if you liked what you read, my main is @hanniesbrat !! kisses!! xo

[huggywuggysuppy]

once you finish Empires S1 i'd like to hear your thoughts about esmp1!gem. she's genuinely one of my favorite characters to analyse because she is so nuanced and interesting in so many ways anywhere you look at her. her twisted determination to achieve peace at ANY cost, her rigid thinking and neurodivergency, her relation with symbols like her tower or the end and the moon, or her genuine wish to be a good person and so many other things. there's so much that is impossible to grasp at first (<- <- me, lesbian who is really normal about her favorite gem)

She's right.

Essentially, Gem understands the role a wizard PLAYS in a story. She's never the cause of something, but she sure amplifies both the problems and the solutions. She's morally gray, she's playing both sides, but nobody ever challenges her on that because of course Gem's helping the heroes too -- they need artifacts! She's a plot device, a questgiver, a weapon. She's the voice of reason, the straight man in any comedy duo, yet makes the same questionable decisions as anyone. She's experimenting, she's out of her comfort zone, she's having the time of her life. Wizard Gem is, ultimately, a real wizard.

That's the short answer anyhow. Longer analysis, well, I'm so glad you asked. I can't talk about character without diving into the content creator metanarrative (feature not a bug) so let's get into the noodles! What about Wizard Gem makes her so fantastic?

Wizard Gem is a catalyst.

From the beginning, Gem is mixing up dynamics and forcing new inspiration by opposing what's static. The way the rest of the Wither Rose Alliance sort of? Molds? Around her. How Sausage and fWhip are beefing until the day she alliances with Pearl and suddenly the four are besties. How she adds moral nuance to the villain side, both by mixing relations with the hero side, and just by insisting the Wither Rose are seeking peace, really, they're trying their best! This stops things from being so cut and dry and basic. Instead of Xornoth's vain forces against the heroic bumbling fish people (with the plant and animal empires in between), there's all sorts of messiness and drama. And Gem's aware of this, of how she's changing things, and so the effect is amplified.

On a CC level, even her origins are experimental. Gem was originally planning a more naturey plant wizard, but since Shubble, Katherine, AND Pearl, were plant based (& arguably Joey too) she adapted into amethyst and rocks. And it turned out amazing! That foundation of experimenting made it easier to take larger risks both content and character wise. All the empires folk enjoyed the lore centric storytelling: only getting deeper into it through the season, but Gem especially paved the way for embracing rp and outfits and items and fun.

But back to C! As the Wither Rose alliance progresses, terrorizing the server included, Gem maintains her peace loving stance. Taking on the role as fWhip's (and later Sausage)'s PR managers is genuinely so important to me. She never really stops them from doing bad things, but she's always discouraging them and talking them down one or two degrees. Ultimately loyal to her alliance, she's also taking responsibility for the consequences. Helping out Jimmy behind the scenes to lessen the blow, both for him but also herself.

At her core, Wizard Gem wants peace.

For herself and friends at least. Unfortunately, the Crystal Cliffs aren't in a bubble, so she keeps having to save the world anyway. She dreads conflict at best and fears it at worst. Her concerns are her kingdom, her neighbors, whatever magic / building she's invested in right now, and maybe a light shenanigan here or there. She'll help fWhip get out of trouble because they really do love each other, he's always helping her out too in his own ways (ex: making her stuff,) and she'll protect the realm so the problems stay far away from their doorsteps. When things do eventually fall into her lap, she definitely deals with them. Just... not 100%. Enough that they stop breaking the peace for now.

Let's be honest, Wizard Gem is firmly in denial. She's down for burying the corruption and letting it claim whole towers of her base. Often she'll just accept whatever another player brings to her: buying Scott and Katherines plush, whatever weird scams Lizzie tries on her, etc. When Scott gives her the Elsa curse, she hangs out in the nether, takes Shrub’s dodgy Xornoth cure, and stubbornly "it's fine"-s her way through avoiding a real solution until fWhip drags her to Katherine. It's telling that her (short-lived) corrupted evil version is more confident, while others become hyper or angry. This isn't laziness: it's fear. She doesn't want to step on any toes and start any conflicts. You can see it in how she talks to Jimmy and fWhip: giving them what they need not to win, but to end things.

This is how Gem maintains the story role of a wizard: she's always trying to stop things, so she's never starting new things, only making them better or worse. But how does Gem get away with it? She's simultaneously one of the most invested players in the lore, yet playing a character who'd rather be anywhere else. That dichotomy is entertaining, sure, but there's something else here.

Wizard Gem is loyal, curious, and moral. Just... not obviously.

Gem is unfathomably loyal. While she plays both sides, she's always standing alongside her allies in battle and all her actions are ensuring they're safe. She may be exasperated, yet treats her immediate alliance members with kindness. How fWhip drags her into things, but he never asks her to, it's always Gem CHOOSING to follow him because what else is she gonna do? Let him do it himself? How Sausage makes her laugh with his absurdity, even when they're fighting. How she's always a little uncomfortable, even in her great empire, except in the quiet simple moments with her allies between schemes.

(Still can’t believe roseblings isn’t canon. Like fWhip’s line about how he blew up relations with Scott because he messed with Gem, "it's okay fWhip I'm fine now," their tones, ohhhh devious work. They don't need to be canon, nonfamilial platonic relationships and all that, but STILL. I'm only human.)

(EDIT: nevermind they’re canon !! big win for the girlies)

Gem's also invested in magic and learning more about it, and she learns to trust and share that with others. The Crystal Cliffs Academy demonstrates growth: from solving problems herself when they’re too big to ignore, to actually addressing things at the source. Explicitly, the goal is to strengthen other empires magic knowledge so less crises happen. That’s preventative instead of reactionary. Even choosing the Ocean Queen as her first student is intentional: not an ally, causes a lot of medium scale ruckuses, in text Gem sensed her using transformation magic that wasn’t hers and wanted to guide Lizzie towards at least controlling it. Start of season Gem would’ve just kept handling any crises herself.

Essentially, Gem is trying SO HARD to be good. As anon said, she has a sort of rigid thinking (again, fun contrast between CC experimental and C rigidity) that creates this fantastic mix where she's staying true to the Wither Rose because she loves them and wants to keep them safe as their friend, but also trying to act for the greater good as a wizard, even though she'd rather focus on her own things. It's not a stable point of view, and is constantly challenged, creating the amazing series of events that we get to see unfold.

Also, Wizard Gem is straight up cool.

Regarding imagery, Wizard Gem has a distinct style that’s so fun to build and draw and write about. She's magical and otherworldly (dragons, the end) but also ethereal and magnificent on a human scale (towers, the moon.) Amethyst itself is inherently unique: something about forming deep under pressure, growing slow and beautiful, sought after as thrones and paths alike. These aesthetics have infinite storytelling potential, and look cute doing it.

And all these things are carried into Gem’s imagery as a whole! Losing her eye to and getting corrupted by the end portal in Life Series, building dragons and towers and villages all across her mc worlds, often using the moon in builds like her hc10 lighthouse. She’s solidly the moon in shinyduo sun/moon dynamic (while they both employ sun/moon all the time, Pearl builds and lores solidly more sun, let alone their comedy dynamic.) Even the struggle between embracing/chasing excellence versus holding herself back out of fear: that's Gem in every world! Emp1 is combining a lot of Gem's themes into one single character. And turns out she's really awesome!

This character wholeness lets Gem maintain her signature exasperated excellence over the other players. Like PVP prowess and building skill, she's an expert here too, and delightful to watch and interact with. Wizard Gem is amplifying everything, trying to keep her loved ones safe, learning that she needs to make peace herself, all while staying true to her beautiful masterful self.

Finally, CC!Gem is delighted to roleplay like this.

Every time she turns to the camera to give disclaimers and talk about her character, there's an infectious joy and "I can't believe this is my job." She often compares it to D&D, which ohh the parasocial brainrot is taking so normally, but also there's an unapologeticness to it. If you don't like her character / the roleplay / etc, stop watching, whatever, this is fun for the rest of us. Her and other CCs have talked about the crippling pushback from playing antagonistic characters -- and there's no shortage of that in emp1, she has to put disclaimers on the RP portions! But unlike Life Series where she's constantly fighting demons (it's own post, really) Wizard Gem is having too much fun to care. I think that's why emp1 hits different, at least for us Gem girlies. She's taking this seriously, and she's having the time of her life.

I originally posted about Worldhopper/Watcher Gem because that adds an extra layer of spice to her in all series, but it's still really awesome by itself. Summoning the dragons from ANOTHER WORLD? Hello?? Don't think I missed her using the nether portal to change skins either. Giggling during convos with Xornoth, undaunted by the Empires Crown, the list goes on. One day someone will assemble all her characters into the same room to compare notes and that someone will either be me or Geminitay herself.

In short, Empires S1 Gem is a Wizard. She's a catalyst, she ultimately wants peace, she's loyal curious and moral, she's straight up cool, and she's having fun. And isn't that just the most magical joy of all?

Anyway, accepting empires fic recommendations in reblogs / directly into my inbox. What a privilege to get to watch so much great art. Thank you for reading!

[dickgraysonsptsd]

Hey, remember me? Idk if you do, but I looked through some of your stuff and you know a lot of what all went down with Devin Grayson's run when it comes to like... Interference from other comic stories and not being able to do what she was planning and also just everything that happened with her and her night wing run.

Can you help me understand what this person who reblogged my post is talking about and how to respond to them/refute their point?

https://www.tumblr.com/titans-thoughts/778916858908884992/the-problem-is-she-also-said-i-never-said-it-was?source=share

hi, i do remember you!! <333 yes, i'm familiar with what this person is talking about. i hope it's okay that i'm answering this publicly because i think this is useful information and context for understanding nw #93 and the 2004 interview this person is paraphrasing.

short answer: she apologized for saying this in 2011 and 2014. grayson saying something harmful one time 21 years ago doesn't negate the points made in that essay.

long answer... content warning for extensive discussion of sexual assault below!

what did devin grayson say about the rape scene she wrote in nightwing (1996) #93?

let's start by looking at the exact text of what grayson said. here is the excerpt from her 2004 comicboards.com interview that this person (and anyone else talking about this subject) is referring to (bold added for emphasis by me):

MSL: Male rape is a topic rarely touched on in comics. Why is it suited to bring it into Nightwing? DEVIN GRAYSON: For the record, I've never used the word “rape,” I just said it was nonconsensual (I know, aren't writers frustrating? *smiles*), but I think Nightwing is suited to cover any topic rooted in human behavior. The Batman characters are unique in that they're not super powered – they're extraordinary people who devote themselves to operating effectively in a very dangerous realm of human existence – crime and injustice and even, very often, mental illness. They are in constant physical danger, to the point that as readers we don't even always respond to that anymore because we assume they'll eventually be okay. I think sometimes it's more rewarding to put them in emotional or social peril of one kind or another, situations which challenge them as people as well as as superheroes. MSL: (Question by dmb1991) Will we be getting a reaction to Dick's rape anytime soon? Ever since it occurred the audience hasn't been privy to NW's thoughts, and I was really hoping you could flesh out that event in Dick's life. and I'm really hopping there will be an educating story to follow. DEVIN GRAYSON: That's very perceptive of you to notice that we lost Dick's narration! That was very intentional – he's so broken down at this point that he's gone quiet inside. I think if you read through issue 100, you'll see some of the response you've been waiting for, but remember, too, that events in superhero comics are often as much allegorical as actual – that is, we're not doing a public service announcement here, we're telling an ongoing, multi-layered story about one individual finding himself at an emotional rock bottom he doesn't know how to fight his way out of.

grayson did not say the act was not rape. she said that she did not use the word rape to describe it and clarified that she personally used "nonconsensual" when talking about it. this is absolutely talking around the issue enough to be a problem (and to qualify as rape apologism, imo--not acknowledging rape as rape IS apologism), but i want to come back to that in a sec.

do i think she spoke poorly here? yes. grayson also thinks that she spoke poorly here and has apologized for basically every line of her responses here over the last 21 years, from not using the word "rape" to talking about rape as something that can be rewarding when used as part of a narrative. her interviews from 2011 and 2014 make it extremely clear that she learned she was wrong for talking about it in this way and apologized profusely for it, even going so far as to apologize for writing the arc at all.

(i personally think there was no reason for her to apologize for writing the arc, but given that people to this day still loudly and passionately claim that writing the arc is proof that grayson loves rape and wanted to rape nightwing, i get why she did publicly apologize for it. people are deeply weird.)

so why, in 2004, would someone not call nightwing (1996) #93 "rape"?

in 2004 in the us, "rape" was legally defined almost exclusively as a female victim being penetrated through force or coercion by a male perpetrator. the us federal government via the fbi to this day still does not consider being forced to penetrate (what tarantula does to nightwing) "rape," which is deeply fucked up. it was only in 2013 that the fbi changed its definition to include male victims in rape statistics at all.

i'm sharing this for some context of what talking about sexual assault and rape was like at the time. it was not incorrect in 2004 for a progressive, educated person to refer to the act of being forced to penetrate a perpetrator as "sexual assault" or as a "nonconsensual sex act" rather than as "rape." i think a lot of people either don't remember or aren't old enough to know how abysmal and evil usamerican culture was about rape in 2004--it was either a punchline, something that happened to a male character's girlfriend to give him angst, or at best a Very Special Episode to Teach An Important Lesson (something that grayson points out wanting to avoid, which i appreciate--rape survivors don't exist to be educational material). we were AWFUL, culturally, about rape. imo that makes grayson's statement in this interview both more hurtful (it sucks badly that a fellow survivor would talk around the issue like that at a time when people were already terrible about it) and also more understandable (being progressive, anti-rape, and pro-survivor at the time still often didn't look great in a 2025 context).

what i think people get massively, critically wrong here is the assumption that because of this one interview line--one line that is very much of its time--devin grayson believed the act she wrote tarantula committing against nightwing was not sexual assault. there's an assumption that because she said this, the arc itself must be written to be titillating, dismissive, trivializing, or to frame the act of rape as not a big deal.

what did devin grayson actually write?

okay. so we've talked about how grayson talked about this run while it was being published in 2004. we've talked about how rape and sexual assault were defined and perceived in 2004. now let's talk about the actual content of the arc and what that means for the broader argument (which people keep insisting on making) that devin grayson thinks it wasn't rape.

i think it's really clear from the tone and writing of the following excerpts of nightwing (1996) #93-94 that grayson was well aware she was writing a traumatic sexual assault arc, and that she was intentionally tying together the trauma of the violation of dick's body (tarantula raping him) with the trauma of being an accomplice to an act that violates his moral code (tarantula killing blockbuster) and the trauma of blockbuster violating his secret identity and using it to kill whoever he can in dick's life. it's violation on top of violation, it's people who want something from dick or blame dick for something taking things from him over and over until he's empty and literally catatonic. it is very, very obviously a dark and serious look at the aftermath of rape.

putting this last bit under a readmore because it's long and includes screencaps of the actual rape scene.

nightwing #93:

above: the beginning of the repetition of "it will never stop"/"it's never gonna stop" that will be continued into the aftermath of the murder and rape.

above: a distinctive red frame is used as dick thinks "never gonna stop... never... stop it... STOP" as he steps away from blockbuster.

we lose dick's narration as soon as catalina shoots blockbuster. the last thing we see him think is "STOP" in distressed lettering. we get dialogue from him again as dick tells catalina not to touch him:

...but we don't hear dick's thoughts or narration again this issue until the final page.

above: the distinctive red frame returns as catalina rapes dick. the last time we saw this frame was in the "STOP" panel, clearly drawing a line between the moment of catalina shooting blockbuster and the act of catalina raping dick.

above: the final page of the issue. dick thinks again, "it's never gonna stop... never gonna stop... never..."

dick is about to enter into a several issue long "relationship" with catalina that overlaps with crossover events. in this arc dick is portrayed as traumatized, sometimes catatonic, and not consenting to being with catalina, who is using him for her own adrenaline high. "it's never gonna stop" will stay relevant because catalina isn't stopping. blockbuster may be dead, but the horror of the situation dick is in is still present. catalina will keep dragging him around like a chewtoy, breaking the code, murdering people, and abusing dick until nightwing (1996) #100 when he turns her (and himself) in for blockbuster's murder.

nightwing #94:

above: dick catatonic on his knees in an alleyway while tarantula is fighting baddies, unable to move or react while he thinks about the gunshot that killed blockbuster. he hardly reacts to a man about to bash him in the head with a baseball bat, lifting his hands up slightly as he thinks about the gunshot, and calling the gunshot (again, the gunshot is tied inextricably to that repetition of "it's never gonna stop" and the final "STOP") worse than the sound of his parents' bodies hitting the ground.

again, we tie the rape to the murder. dick goes from catatonic about the gunshot to flashing back to the rape.

above: catalina takes dick back to a motel room and drops him on the bed. dick doesn't respond to anything she says to him in this scene, instead starting to infodump fixatedly on the gunshot in small italic text. he's not present here. he's dissociating. catalina touches his face gently and stands over him. as dick keeps talking, clearly not responding to her at all, she starts to leave the room.

above: "so if i'd said 'stop,' we would have heard it. heard it and processed it along with the gunshot, simultaneously. 'bang'... 'don't do it, tarantula, STOP!'... bang... stop!... bang..."

as a reader, this is really obviously a rape victim reacting "weirdly" in the aftermath, fixating on the moment that it became real, on odd details, on the "STOP." dick is talking about blockbuster's murder, but he's also talking about catalina raping him.

and now... catalina isn't having fun here. dick isn't her cool crush doing stunts and unintentionally flirting with her, he isn't her trophy, he's a traumatized unmoving mess talking to himself about something she doesn't understand (and doesn't want to understand). so she leaves. this is grayson showing us very directly that catalina is using dick, that she doesn't care about his well-being as much as she does about her own adrenaline rush, and that she doesn't care that what she did to him traumatized him horribly.

now look at the tone of the dialogue when dick is up and about again after catalina returns:

dick: it's epinephrine with a generalized viperid antitoxin. batman developed it as a-- catalina: cool. whatever. dick: no, not "whatever." this is called being prepared, and if you're not, you've got no business taking on a meta-- catalina: where were you, anyway? dick: i... just went out to move the bike. if you leave it out in the open like that, anyone can-- catalina: --follow us? yeah, i noticed. you comin'?

earlier in the run, when dick was acting as a sort-of-mentor to catalina, he would give her these kinds of explanations confidently. now, catalina is cutting him off when he talks. she's demanding to know where he's been. she's cutting him off again, and looming in the doorway ominously as a clear visual sign that she is the villain here--she's the bad guy lurking in the shadows, she's the abusive "girlfriend."

everything about this scene screams that dick is off-kilter, that he's reverting to familiar things--infodumping about a batman-esque subject, trying to be a good mentor--because he's in a crisis and doesn't know what to do. it is SUCH an effective depiction of a rape victim trying to find some stability and normalcy in the aftermath. it is not something that someone who believes they didn't write a rape scene would write.

and that's my 2 cents on "devin grayson said it wasn't rape!!".... i think it was way more than you probably expected/wanted lmao 😭😭😭

[wandascosmic]

you've got a smile that could light up this whole town (2)

wanda maximoff x fem!reader

part two of 'you belong with me' series

summary: basically a wanda series inspired by jim and pam from the office

word count: 3868

warnings: sexual harassment in the workplace, talks of sexism and racism, small mention of blood in a joking setting

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9

“That’s the thing. It’s very sturdy paper,” you speak to the client on the phone. “And on the back it says 100% post-consumer content.” 

You’re on the phone with Mr. Deckerd, the CEO of one of your biggest clients who amounts to about 25% of your commission for the whole year. Wanda makes fun of you for buying a mini bottle of champagne every time you make a sale to him and his company, but you can’t help but celebrate a little. This year, you’re pushing recycled paper on them for about 1% more, so maybe you’ll buy a medium-sized bottle of champagne if you make the sale. 

Suddenly, you hear a static noise in your ear. “Hello?” you ask, wondering if your client is still there. You plug the ear that isn’t touching the phone to hear Mr. Deckerd better, but the static sound continues. “I’m sorry, Mr. Deckerd I think I’m losing-” 

But then you can’t hear anything because your stupid desk neighbor is shredding his papers at his desk. 

“Hello? Hello?” But you can’t hear anything because of the stupid shredder. “Hold on one second,” you reassure your customer, even though you have no idea if he’s still there. 

“Sam! Do you really have to do that right now?” you yell over the shredder.  

“Yes, I do,” he responds, barely paying you any attention. “I should’ve done this weeks ago, actually.” 

You flip him off under your desk. 

“Mr. Deckerd, I'm really sorry,” you speak on the phone. “What were you-” 

You still can’t hear anything, and it makes you give Sam an annoyed expression. “Can you give me one second?” you tell Mr. Deckerd on the phone in your fake nice sales voice. “Yeah, just one second. Thanks.” 

You press the off button on Sam’s shredder with your pointer finger, and he narrows his eyes at you.

You shrug back in response. 

“Hello? Oh, that’s it. Perfect,” you let Mr. Deckerd know. “So, what I was saying-” 

Sam hangs up the phone for you by pushing a button on the docking port and you want to slap him in the face. 

“Hello?” when you hear nothing but the dial tone, you set the phone down and run your hands over your face. “Thanks a lot, Sam.” 

“Retaliation, Y/N. Tit for tit.” 

“That’s not the expression.” 

“Well, it should be.” 

Now you want to punch Sam instead.

“Solitaire?” you ask Wanda, popping a jelly bean from the candy dish at her desk into your mouth and leaning over it to peek at her computer screen. 

“Yeah, freecell,” she tells you, brows furrowing in focus at the game. 

“Six on seven,” you point to the digital cards. 

“I know I saw that,” she nods.  

“So, why didn’t you do it?” you ask. 

“I’m saving that,” she gives a shy smile, “cause I like it when the cards go…” she imitates the shuffling cards. 

“Who doesn’t love that?” you shrug, smiling at her. 

She giggles in response, and you help her win the rest of the game.  

Tony comes out of his office. “Everyone in the conference room,” he announces. “Diversity day seminar.” 

Everyone gets out of their desk to go meet in the room, but you stay on the phone in order to make the sale to Mr. Deckerd.

“Y/N,” Tony states. “Wrap it up.” 

“Yeah,” you nod. “Uh, Mr. Deckerd-” 

“L/N, hurry up, please.” 

“Uh, Mr. Deckerd, I'm actually going to have to call you back,” Damn it, you were so close. “Thank you, sorry about that.” You hang up the phone.

Wanda meets your stride as you both walk in together and she wraps her hand around your elbow absentmindedly. 

The two of you usually sit together, but unfortunately, you were both the last to walk in due to your phone call so you both take a seat on opposite sides of Thor.  

Once you sit down a man from corporate hands you a blank card for you to fill out by writing down a work-related incident you found offensive, and you and Wanda look at each other, knowing exactly what incident you were both going to write. 

A couple weeks ago, the head of corporate, Thaddeus Ross had made disgusting remarks and had acted completely sexist and racist to every single female or ethnic worker in the office. He had reduced every single person to just their ethnicity or sex and had made incredibly vulgar remarks that you didn’t want to think about again because of how offensive they were. In fact, they were so ugly that those who had taken the worst of his comments didn’t come into the office for the next 2 days because of how violated they felt.  

You bite your tongue as you remember the lewd comments he had made about Wanda that day. 

“Wanda’s really easy on the eyes, don’t you think?” he had whispered to you, his coffee breath making you want to push him as far away as possible. “I bet she’d make way more money on her knees rather than behind that desk…” 

You had frozen in your seat, shocked at the words Ross uttered out of his mouth. You were about to reprimand him and let him know how inappropriate his comments were, but you didn’t get the chance because he got called over by Tony right after uttering those awful words. So instead, once he was gone from your sight, you had immediately stood up and gone over to Wanda at her desk while she was faxing documents Bruce had given her to let her know about the disgusting comments Ross had made. 

Wanda’s expression had hardened once you told her, and she had taken many deep breaths to reel in her emotions. “Thank you for telling me,” she had breathed out. “Honestly, I’m not surprised with the amount of times he’s cheated on his wife,” she had told you with a weak smile. Ross always confided in Wanda about his affairs for some reason, and he gave her a copious amount of detail about his nights spent in bed with other women. 

You had watched her brave resolve crumble as she played with the rings on her fingers, a nervous tick of hers, and it made you see right through her act. “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah, I'm ok,” she had told you, “But I’m never staying within six feet of him again for safety reasons,” she gave a shaky laugh.   

For the rest of the morning, you were able to tell that she was still rattled, with the way she kept zoning out while doing her work and kept playing with her rings and biting her nails. 

So, you decided to do something nice for her to calm her down. During your lunch break, you had gone out to buy all of Wanda’s favorite things. Initially, you had told Vision to do it after letting him know about the incident while he was working down in the warehouse, but all he had responded with was that he was busy and would check on Wanda when he had the chance. 

You knew of his busy schedule, so instead, you thought it would be good to go yourself, and it ended up being so worth it. 

That day, you had bought Wanda chicken paprikash from her favorite restaurant, many packages of the obscure Sokovian candy she really likes, a pocket-sized package of her favorite book series because she was a sucker for miniature items, her favorite perfume because you could tell she was running low based on the way it was becoming less and less strong as the days passed by, a box of chocolates just because, and a mini disco ball, which you bought as a joke hoping it would put the smile back on her face. 

You had definitely gone overboard based on how your bank had called you that day because of how much money you spent, but Wanda didn’t need to know that. 

Plus, you didn’t really care because, well, it was Wanda.  

“Hey, Wands,” you had gone up to her at the end of the day with a plastic bag in your hand. 

Which to Wanda by the looks of it, seemed very heavy. 

“Hi, Y/N,” she had greeted you back softly from her chair. “What’s in the bag?” 

You smiled as you pulled out the mini disco ball, pressing the button so it lit up and placing it on the ledge of her desk. 

“For you,” you had told her, “so every day is a party,” you joked. 

Wanda had picked up the disco ball between her fingers, “you bought this just for the sake of making that joke,” she had answered back with a grin. 

And the disco ball had worked just as you wanted it to, because she had smiled again for the first time that day. 

You shrugged. “Maybe, but it did make you laugh, Maximoff.” 

“Smiling isn’t laughing Y/N,” she said cheekily. Before you could respond she asked, “What’s in the rest of the bag? It’s definitely not that heavy with just a tiny disco ball inside.” 

You slowly pulled out each of the items one by one, making sure to keep the mystery for as long as possible. And it was so worth it, because with every item you pulled out Wanda’s smile widened more and more. 

“Wow…” Wanda trailed off, slowly dragging her index finger over each item as if they were made of glass, until her finger stopped at the candy. “Y/N! They only sell these at that store 40 minutes from here!” her eyes gleamed with worry as she looked at you since there was a snowstorm that day too.

“30 minutes,” you corrected, “and it was nothing, Wanda, honestly. This is supposed to be kind of like a ‘Ross Sucks’ fund. You were shaken up, so I wanted to do something nice for you.” 

Wanda had pushed her tongue against her cheek as she watched you with tears in her eyes. She made her way around her desk until she was in front of you, and had hugged you as tight as possible. “Thank you,” she had whispered while squeezing you as tight as she could.  

As she pulled away a couple moments later, she had kissed your cheek and gave you a soft look while whispering the words, “I’m really glad I have you as my best friend.” 

It was the best gift anyone had ever given her. Somehow, you had singlehandedly turned Wanda’s awful day into one that would bring a smile to her face for the rest of her life. 

The next day, the mini books and disco ball had ended up displayed at Wanda’s receptionist's desk, and Wanda had given you a cheeky smile while popping a candy into her mouth. 

The man from corporate took each of your papers back with a small thank you, eventually creating a large stack. 

“Alright, so I’m here today to talk about diversity,” the man began. “It has come to my attention that a recent issue from an anonymous source has made you all very uncomfortable, so I was called here. We are all still unaware of who made the offensive comments we have heard of, so corporate thought it would be best to put all of the Shield Industry branches through this seminar to be safe. Let’s get started.” 

You started zoning out in worry at losing your biggest client, since Tony had made you hang up the phone due to his lack of patience when it came to being late to an event. After this morning’s exchange with Sam, you hoped he would continue to remain with you as his salesperson. 

You didn’t even notice that you had stopped paying attention until Wanda tapped your shoulder to whisper about how the man from corporate looked a lot like Dracula from Hotel Transylvania, and you responded that you should test if he’s really a vampire by putting blood in Sam’s bag so he’s the first to go.

You don’t know how much time has passed until suddenly, Tony’s voice brings your attention back to the meeting. “Hey man, I’m sorry, but you need to leave.” 

“What?” The man whose name you still don’t know responds. 

Long story short, Tony kicked out the man and forced you all to get back to work simply because he didn’t like his face. 

“Uh, hi, is Mr. Deckerd around?” you spoke on the phone. “Oh, well, could you just have him call me after lunch? Thank you.”

You ran your hands over your face in stress, god, you really hoped you didn’t lose your biggest client. 

“Attention, everyone!” Tony yelled out stepping out from his office. “The replacement seminar corporate is making us go through will occur immediately after lunch, so don’t be late!” he stepped back into his office. 

You’re too anxious to eat anything, so you spend your lunch break playing solitaire with Wanda while she eats the sandwich she packed this morning, since she usually spends it answering calls anyway. It’s the perfect pass-time because you’re still near the phone in case Mr. Deckerd calls, and she’s excellent at distracting you and making your worries fade away. 

The last ten minutes of your break are spent at your desk staring at your phone, the busy tone ringing out suddenly seeming like it's mocking you.

Around 1 pm, a tall short-haired lady walks in, “Hi, I’m here to lead the diversity seminar?” you hear her introduce herself to Wanda at the front of the office. 

Wanda stood up to shake her hand. “Welcome, I’m Wanda. I’ll let Tony know you’re here.” 

She ran into Tony’s office to inform him of the woman at the front, and from your point of view, you could tell that this new woman was attracted to Wanda based on the way she was staring at her from behind. 

“Everybody in the conference room!” Tony yelled out as he stepped out of his office, leading the orange-haired woman corporate hired in the direction of the room. 

Thankfully, this time, you and Wanda walked in a little earlier so you could sit next to each other at the back. 

Wanda had a clipboard in her hands to take notes as part of her job as a receptionist, and while she wasn’t looking, you drew a small smiley face at the corner of her page, a long-time tradition since you first joined the office a year after her. 

“Alright, now that everybody’s settled in, hi, my name’s Pepper, and I’m here to lead the diversity seminar after this morning’s complications,” the lady said, giving Tony a look. “To start off, what can you tell me about diversity?” 

Sam raises his hand. “It means having a diverse background.” 

“Yes, very good. Anybody else?” 

“It means being inclusive to people of all race,” Bruce answers. 

While Nat is answering, Wanda notices the small smiley face at the corner of her page and smiles softly. 

“What about you, hon?” Pepper asks Wanda while she’s lost in thought. 

Wanda’s head snaps up, “Sorry?” she clarifies. 

“What do you think about diversity?” 

Wanda pauses to think for a moment, “I think it’s acceptance of people of different background that’s not only limited to race but also gender, economic status, age, social class, and sexual orientation.” 

“Wow, impressive,” Pepper smirks, staring Wanda down like she’s almost a piece of meat.  

Wanda’s eyes widen and she shifts uncomfortably under Pepper’s stare, as she feels incredibly objectified once again. 

“Nerd,” Sam coughs into his fist. 

But Wanda can’t focus on Sam’s comment, because for some reason Pepper’s gaze is starting to remind her a lot of the way Vision looks at her. 

But it’s probably nothing, it’s probably just that he’s attracted to her because they’re engaged. 

Pepper’s seminar goes on for another 30 minutes, and while she’s discussing an acronym called HERO, you hear the phone ring. 

You don’t mean to be rude, but you’re so anxious you’re going to lose the sale you sprint out of the conference room to answer the phone. 

“Hello? Hello?” you answer, but you get no response. You tap your foot nervously on the ground and hang up the phone, running your hands over your face. 

You really hope Mr. Deckerd answers soon. 

Back in the conference room, Wanda still feels Pepper’s gaze on her and it makes her increasingly uncomfortable. The way Pepper was eyeing her like she was her prey to devour mercilessly made her feel so awfully degraded, like she was just an attractive object to be used and not another person. It made her want to jump out of her seat and run away as far as possible, or at least to you, since you were her best friend after all and you could calm her down with just a touch. 

But Wanda calms down when you walk back in and take your seat next to her, giving her your infamous smile despite the way she can tell you’re stressed due to your stiff posture, and it fills her heart with warmth. 

Pepper is still on the same slide as when you left, so you don’t think you missed much. 

“Diversity, equity, and inclusion are the three factors needed in running an office that feels safe to people of all background,” Pepper continues and you can tell that everyone is starting to get sick of the seminar. 

“How much did I miss?” you whisper in Wanda’s ear. 

“Barely anything,” she whispers back, and Wanda feels her nerves settling. “She’s been repeating the same thing in different ways for the past 5 minutes.” 

You let out a small laugh. 

And Wanda does too. 

And you both try your best to suppress your laughter for the next two minutes.

You sit there for a while trying your best to listen to Pepper’s speech, but it proves to be an incredibly hard struggle because her presentation voice is ridiculously robotic. 

“Excuse me, Pepper,” Sam states. 

“Yes?” 

“What’s diversity again?” 

God, this was going to be a long seminar. 

You were in the middle of zoning out for the third time when the phone rang, causing you to spring out of your seat and sprint out to answer it. 

“Mr. Deckerd!” you greet into the phone the second you get in your chair. “We didn’t lose your sale today, did we?” you chuckle. “Excellent! Okay..” you pull out a pen. “Let me just get your– What’s that? No, we didn’t, we didn’t close last time,” your brows furrow in confusion. 

“I just need your, uh–Oh! What code were you given?” you’re still confused. “Oh, okay. Yeah, no, he’s actually another salesman here.” Oh, now you realize what’s happened. “Yeah, I can redo it if you want to do that. He gave you a discount?” Well played. “No, no worries, I don’t blame you,” you reassure him. “Okay, thanks, have a great day, Mr. Deckerd, it was nice speaking to you.”

You slowly place the phone back onto its docking port, sighing, and putting your head in your arms on the table.  

It was official. 

Sam had stolen your biggest client. 

You walk back into the conference room with your hands in your pocket, noticing that Pepper is coming to the end of her presentation. 

You sit down, thinking about how you hope that Sam enjoys the mini champagne you left on his desk. 

Then, all of a sudden, you feel a soft weight on your right shoulder, causing you to snap out of your thoughts, and the scent of your favorite vanilla perfume fills your senses. 

You turn your head to take a closer look at her, and once you see her face, a huge smile breaks out across your own. 

Wanda Maximoff has fallen asleep on your shoulder. 

And it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. 

Her features are soft and relaxed, devoid of all the stress the office usually brings her, and Wanda’s delicate beauty is completely on display for you to see. She looks ethereal, as if she’s been crafted piece by piece by every single goddess to ever exist. 

You stare at her for what feels like an eternity, and she seems so soft and so Wanda that it feels like a small delicate butterfly has landed on you, and you never want her to go away. 

The smile doesn’t leave your face as you do your best to sit as still as possible for the next few minutes in order to avoid waking Wanda up while Pepper wraps up her speech.

“All right, everyone, it’s after 5, so you’re all dismissed,” Pepper announces once her presentation comes to a close. “Hope you learned something today.” 

Slowly, everyone makes their way out, and you hear their soft muttering about how the seminar was completely useless as you watch them from your seat, careful not to disturb the brunette angel sleeping soundly on your shoulder. 

“I didn’t know you two were together,” Pepper says once everyone has left, packing up her bag.

“Hm?” you ask. 

“You and Wanda,” she points to you and the receptionist. “She seems very nice, you’re quite lucky.” 

“Oh!” you laugh. “No, Wanda and I aren’t dating. She’s engaged,” you clarify. “And yes, she’s wonderful.” 

Pepper laughs, “Oh, good to know. Sorry for assuming, she just seems very fond of you.” 

“No worries,” you reassure her, “I’m very fond of her too. She’s my closest friend,” you say, giving a small smile.

“Well, I wish you two the best. Have a good day, Y/N,” she waves goodbye to you. “And tell Wanda I’m sorry for making her uncomfortable during the seminar, I recently got out of a breakup and was looking for a distraction and she was the first thing I saw, but it was wrong of me,” she admits. 

You frown. “I’m very sorry to hear that,” you respond. “Thank you for letting me know, I hope things get better for you soon.” 

Pepper smiles and nods, heading out the door. 

As she walks out of the office she can see you staring through the window of the conference room, and she knows that Wanda’s not just a close friend to you.  

You and Wanda are left alone together, and you give her one last soft look before deciding to finally wake her up. 

“Hey,” you whisper causing Wanda to begin to stir. 

“Hm?” she asks groggily, rubbing her eyes, slowly coming back to her senses. "Oh,” she quietly murmurs, slowly blushing as she realizes she fell asleep on your shoulder and lifting her head off.  

“We can go now,” you let her know with a small chuckle. 

“Yeah, um, sorry,” she mumbles apologetically, getting up from her chair and grabbing her clipboard. 

“That’s okay,” you let her know with a soft laugh. 

“Um, I'll talk to you later,” she says shyly, walking out. 

“Yeah, talk to you later,” you agree, following her with a smile still on your face as you look at your shoes. 

And as you pack your bags, the phone at your desk where you lost your best client only a foot away, suddenly, it’s not a bad day anymore.

part 3

[sandcheeze13]

update:

i would like to apologize if i have been quiet for some time when it came to posts like these. however, i'm back for a big update. hopefully, everything's explained clearly.

1. update on the big, "beautiful" bill

i should've shared this when it came out, but there's a recess going on until june 2nd, 2025.

here's the links provided in the screenshot:

so for now, let's focus on the senate, and let them know we don't appreciate this bill.

other than that, for those not in the know, this bill, currently, is a huge thing when it comes to project 2025. a section of this bill will gut medicaid for everyone, but the millionaires. there's quite a lot more about this, but to give the basic summary breakdown: it's all bad, bad, bad.

again, call your senators, and tell them to not pass this bill. there's quite recess ends on june 2nd, 2025.

2. elon needs to take a shower

for those confused, this is about elon musk. yesterday, this guy finally resigned, but doge still remains (unfortunately).

not much to say about this one, other than just: fuck you. :) <3

3. tariffs that mr. trump wants to deploy

to put it shortly, there was a short point in time where trump's tariffs was shut down in court, but was then reinstated immediately afterward... just for them to invalidate the tariffs once again. i don't know what's the hell happened over there, but it's good that people are seeing all this for what it really is.

unfortunately, it's a bit up in the air on whether, or not, if it'll change sooner, or later. we'll just have to see if it does.

4. everything sucks in texas

unlike the bill that was made to ban abortion pills (which is now died currently), the other bills that recently got passed, and signed into state law didn't. :/

1. the anime ban was passed

2. this other bill now makes schools in texas recite the ten commandments. currently, the aclu is suing this bill. hope it goes well.

also, there's a bill that's supposed to outlaw ai-generated cp on the internet. unfortunately, it's vague enough to where it could potentially frame a lot of things (queer content, for example) to be seen as pornography (despite it not being the case).

do know that this is the same guy that also advanced a bill to block swear words. even going as far as to ban public libraries to not buy books with language they don't like. again, they're talking about swear words.

texas is just another country at this point. i'm sorry for any texans in this country currently.

5. for those protesting

for the whole week (may 31st, to june 6th), there will be a huge sum of protests that you might be able to join in to further spread the cause.

however, if you are considering going, please stay safe. make sure to bring your pepper spray, and sunglasses. be peaceful.

6. "it wouldn't matter if we go through with gutting medicaid, cuz we'll all die anyway..." 🤦‍♀️

i can't begin to describe this. just look at the following links for yourselves.

no words, honestly. fuck you, joni ernst.

7. another kosa update

for those that don't know, kosa is an abbreviation for the "kids online safety act." if your first reaction is thinking that this bill is good, then i got some bad news for you.

unfortunately, much like the rest of the bills mentioned today, it's extremely vague, and can mean anyone that's supposed to "attack" kids, or something like that. also, this bill was made by the heritage foundation, knows for being extremely homophobic/transphobic. they are in arms with trump, only helping with project 2025.

i'm sure that this current recess is the reason why no one in the government has been talking about this for a while. however, now's our chance to stop this bill from passing.

i unfortunately don't know when they'll vote for this, but until then, never stop calling.

that's about it for now. things might be quite a lot right now, but don't give up. if all of this distresses you, then take a break, before you act. don't panic, and organize.

there's still hope, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.

thank you for sticking around. stay safe.

[diarylogbook08]

🌈 Ateez as Dads

Because let's be honest the world needs soft-but-sometime-confused ATEEZ dads content. And also because imagining these chaotic men as soft, loving fathers is just healing ✨

Pairing : Ot8 Genre : fluff W.c : ~ 2,10 K Requested : no ✨ Self-induced chaos. No one asked. I delivered anyway. ✨ Warnings : lots of chaotic and cuteness be ready to handle it ! Taglist : @miracle-sol Want to be tagged in future headcanons or updates? Drop a comment or DM me anytime! I don’t bite (unless you're cake 🍰👀​😜​) Requests : OPEN ✨click here to send yours. Please note that I may politely decline if I don’t feel comfortable with the topic. Kindness only here 🫶

Time to dive in ! Here’s what kind of dads I think each members would be 🧸 (enjoy your reading!)

☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:･☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:☆

✦ Hongjoong — The “Creative Project Dad”

👶 Newborn

Calm on the outside, absolutely spiraling inside. Reads like at least 5 parenting books and watched more than 100 videos about it. Freaked out by the responsibility and overthinking everything: “Is the air too dry in the room? Should we move countries?”

Cries silently while holding the baby for the first time. Wears sunglasses in the hospital like, “No I’m fine.”

Googles EVERYTHING. The baby sneezed? “What does it mean if a newborn sneezes 3 times in a row?”

Becomes the kind of dad who wants you to sleep while he walks in circles at 3 AM to make the baby sleep. Only for you to find him in the morning asleep on the couch with your baby on his stomach sleeping comfortably.

Would also sometimes act like a child when you give all your attention to the kids just to get your attention.

“I am not jealous, just starving kisses and cuddles” (but he definitely is).

🚼 Toddler

Cries at every milestone. She says "appa" for the first time and he’s sobbing in the studio.

Teaches his 3 y/o how to use a glue gun (supervised… kinda).

Encourages “painting outside the lines” and proudly displays every glitter‑covered masterpiece on the fridge.

Always has a DIY craft station set up in the garage.

Totally the “girl dad” energy: bows in their hair, tea parties with the stuffed animals, and matching outfits on Sunday mornings. Has matching nail polish with his daughter and wears it proudly.

Acts like a playful kid to keep their attention—jumps on the sofa, demands “daddy duel!”

Secretly sneaks finger‑paints into their school art kit so they “express themself fully.”

Kid never leaves the house without looking like a tiny fashion icon because he picks their outfits.

Soft scolding like: “Sweetheart, what do we say about throwing glitter in the bathtub?”

Gets emotional during school plays and records EVERYTHING.

☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:･☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:☆

✦ Seonghwa — The “Warm & Wise Dad”

👶 Newborn

You better believe this man is READY. Basically a second mom. Diaper changing station? Organized. Baby closet? Labeled by size & color. You forget to feed the pet ? Don't worry he's on it or ahead of you.

Holds the baby like they're made of pure glass for the first 3 months.

Wakes up before the baby does just to make sure they’re breathing. “Should we get a monitor that tracks breathing?”

Wants to sanitize visitors before they enter the house.

Baby has a skincare routine (hypoallergenic, fragrance-free OFC)

Gets emotional over lost baby teeth.

🚼 Toddler

WILL ABSOLUTELY. Bubble wrap the whole house (or the kid ?) because freaks out if he gets hurt. Constantly worried they’ll trip on the stairs or something. Has a tiny first-aid kit in the diaper bag, the car, and every room.

Equal parts “girl dad” & “boy dad” — flips flawlessly between helping braid hair and coaching on football tricks.

Will cry at everything they do. Every drawing. Every recital.

Teaches them sportsmanship by letting them win at soccer… then shows them how to really score.

PTA's favorite dad

His kid’s lunchboxes look like a bento box commercial—cut-out fruits and all. With an additional cute notes to remind them how much he loves them.

When they are upset, he makes them a cup of hot cocoa and says, “It’s okay to feel all the feelings.”

Builds LEGOs together but definitely is more into it than the kid.

Definitely owns a “#1 Dad” mug and actually earned it.

☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:･☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:☆

✦ Yunho — The “Adventurous Dad”

👶 Newborn

Immediately obsessed. “LOOK AT THEIR LITTLE FINGERS?? IS THIS LEGAL??”

Is way too entertained by baby giggles. Makes silly faces and weird voices until the baby is laughing. You’ve never seen the baby laugh harder.

😱 First diaper? Nearly passed out. But once he gets used to it: ALL-IN DAD MODE.

Panic level when the baby cries—instantly drops into full “serious dad” mode. Dances around with the baby on his shoulder to get them to burp.

Already planning themed birthday parties with matching costumes.

His lullabies turn into full Disney musical productions.

🚼 Toddler

Throws his kids in the air and catches them like it’s the Olympics, either turns everything into a game or competition.

“What do you mean the twins are climbing on the fridge !?” Low-key gives you cardiac arrest when he tells you what the kids are doing and you aren't home.

Will absolutely build blanket forts and live in them.

Makes the best bedtime stories, complete with voices and dramatic flair.

Is the reason they think jumping off the couch is an Olympic sport.

Always doing goofy dances together — viral TikTok duo.

He’s giant but somehow always ends up with 3 princess stickers on his face.

When they stumble, he’s the calm voice: “You’ve got this, champ.”

Major “boy dad” vibes: teaches you how to whistle with grass, ties your shoelaces in perfect double knots. but if he has a girl ends up being a total softie with her.

Dad who volunteers for school field trips and ends up with a group of 8 kids calling him "Uncle Yuyu."

☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:･☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:☆

✦ Yeosang — The “Cool Mysterious But Loving Dad”

👶 Newborn

Stares at the baby like an alien at first. Not scared, just like “…what is it thinking?”

Isn’t super expressive, but incredibly dependable. You tell him what the baby needs, he delivers.

Catches feelings when the baby smiles at him for the first time and doesn’t recover.

Baby falls asleep on his chest? Cancel his plans, he’s not moving for 4 hours.

Once the baby starts babbling? That’s HIS bestie now.

“My baby is the cutest in the world. No, I don’t care what yours looks like.”

🚼 Toddler

Quietly obsessed with his kids, just doesn’t post about them.

Will suddenly show up with the most perfect custom birthday cake.

Reads bedtime stories in different voices (they beg for his “dragon” voice).

Not overtly cuddly, but the best at calm advice and gentle affirmations.

Leaves post‑it notes on the fridge with little reminders (“Don’t forget your lunch!”) decorated with doodles.

Honestly just wants his kids to feel safe and heard.

Leaning more “girl dad,” he helps curl her hair with his straightener and hands her lip balm like a pro. Acts like he’s not totally wrapped around her little finger (he ACTUALLY is).

Always has emergency snacks—granola bars, fruit leather, glittery water bottles.

Tells mildly embarrassing “when-I-was-your-age” stories.

Buys her a sword and teaches her self-defense “for science.”

☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:･☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:☆

✦ San — The “The Puppy Dad With a Side of Overprotective Lion”

👶 Newborn

Most likely to cry in the delivery room. Sobs.

Does not want to put the baby down. At all. Like, ever. You will NEVER get to hold the baby if San gets to them first.

“Did you hear that? My heart just exploded.”—refuses to put baby down.

😭 Cries more than the baby. Overwhelmed with love. In tears watching his kid sleep because “they’re just so small and perfect.”

Most likely to whisper, “Hi, I’m your daddy” in the softest tone ever.

Insists on taking the night shifts so you can sleep.

🚼 Toddler

Girl dad to the max. Princess dresses? He owns three. Let's her paint his nails in pink or whatever because it makes her happy.

Cuddles all day. ALL. DAY.

Says “I love you” like 20x a day. Overprotective but also will let them dress up the dog.

Teaches the kid to love themselves loudly and unapologetically.

Gets teary when she calls him “her hero”.

But will glare at another 3 y/o if they push her on the playground.

Takes a million pictures. Half of them are blurry.

So. Much. Energy. He’s crawling around pretending to be a dinosaur with zero shame.

Does the “baby voice” in public, doesn’t care who hears.

Somehow always has snacks. Where are they coming from? No one knows.

☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:･☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:☆

✦ Mingi — The “Fun-Loving and Chaotic Dad”

👶 Newborn

“Wait—so we’re in charge now? Forever?”

😳 Lowkey freaked out at first. The moment the baby cries, he panics like, “Did I break it??” Tries to be cool but panics every time the baby cries.

Kinda useless at the beginning, asks 1000 questions: “What do I do with its head??”, “Is this sound normal?? Are babies supposed to hiccup like that??” Call or text his mom 20 times a day to ask her all his silly questions.

Most likely to panic dramatically and yell “WHAT DO I DOOOO??” when the baby poops for the first time. Runs around like his hair’s on fire at first but learns fast.

Has actual conversations with the baby even when it can’t talk. “Okay but think about it, little dude, what if gravity is just a lie?”

Slowly grows into it – starts humming lullabies, doing silly voices, and snuggling without realizing it.

🚼 Toddler

His kids are the loudest but the happiest.

Gender doesn’t matter — if they vibe with chaos, he vibes back.

Constantly trying to keep up with Gen Alpha slang and failing.

Kid is like “Dad you’re embarrassing me” and he just says “it’s my job.”

Has no idea how to braid hair but tries every time.

He’s their #1 hype man: “THAT’S MY BOY! LOOK AT HIM SLIDE!”

Teaches them TikTok dances and does them in grocery stores.

Tries to be serious during discipline but breaks into giggles mid-scolding.

Lets them get away with stuff if they use cute voices

Encourages every wild idea: “You want to be an astronaut-chef? Absolutely.”

☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:･☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:☆

✦ Wooyoung — The “Sass King Dad With a Heart of Gold”

👶 Newborn

😵 LOSES HIS MIND when baby first arrives – not from fear, just excitement + chaos.

He’s in love with the baby, but also a little jealous.

Acts like a child to get your attention when you're baby-focused too long: “What about meeee? I need kisses too 😤.”

Will try to hold baby AND make dinner at once – dangerous, but he tries.

Gives the baby five nicknames within the first hour.

Records every tiny moment like it’s the most important thing in the world.

🚼 Toddler

Raises little divas who know their worth.

Girl dad teaches her TikTok dances, braids friendship bracelets, and does nail art in the living room. But she bullies him lovingly and he LOVES it.

Wraps them in hugs at random intervals—no escape.

Encourages self‑expression: “Wear that neon dress! Life’s too short to be boring.”

Bakes banana bread together on Sundays and also bakes pink cupcakes “just because.”

Kid learns sass directly from the source and Wooyoung is so proud.

Very “I’m not just a dad, I’m a cool dad”.

Literally cries when they outgrow their baby shoes.

Overprotective. Any kid who even looks at her funny gets the “I know where your mom lives” stare.

The “bad influence” dad. Teaches the kid to prank people (including you). But acts offended when he gets pranked back.

☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:･☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:☆

✦ Jongho — The “Protective Gentle Dad”

👶 Newborn

ZERO panic. It's almost unsettling how chill he is. but is secretly having a full existential crisis about being a dad.

Baby crying? He's already got the bottle warmed.

Insists on you resting while he takes the night shift. “You carried them for 9 months. Let me carry this part.”

Doesn’t need to be taught how to swaddle – he just figures it out.

Baby falls asleep faster in his arms than anyone else's.

Holds the baby so gently and carefully, the baby is so soothed by him it’s like he came with a dad manual and everyone’s like, “Were you secretly a dad already?”

🚼 Toddler

Carrying 2 kids, 3 bags, a stroller, and still has a free hand for juice boxes.

Boy dad through and through, but his daughter? Wrapped around his pinky!

Checks every closed door, tucks them in, and quietly stands guard until they fall asleep.

Makes sure the kid eats their veggies and does their reading.

Gives piggyback rides to school, then helps braid hair for picture day.

Surprisingly soft-spoken at home — reads classic stories at bedtime, sings them lullabies to sleep.

Lifts his kid up to see everything — parades, planes, grocery shelves.

Will absolutely not tolerate disrespect, but is the first to defend his kid with his whole chest.

Doesn’t say much, but when he does, it sticks.

Helps with homework like, “No, we don’t give up. Try again.” Cue Rocky soundtrack.

☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:･☆･゜ﾟ･:.｡..｡.:☆

And that concludes this deep-dive into how I think our favorite chaotic pirate kings would become the softest, most loving dads ever. From glitter explosions to midnight cuddles, they’d give their all—just like they always do. 🫶 what more could you want?

👀 A Part 2? Maybe “ATEEZ as dads when their kids become teens”? Or got your own suggestions ? Drop them in the comments—I’d love to hear them! Let me know—my brain is always chaotic and open for business.

Thank you for joining me on this journey 💕 If you read all the way through, Which ATEEZ dad are you adopting as your emotional support today? Let me know your fav in comments ! Reblogs & comments make my day.

Until next time, stay soft and chaotic 💕

[olderthannetfic]

People claiming that creating nsfw fanart/fanfic against a creator's wishes is "violating their boundaries" (or worse, "violating their consent") makes me SO MAD. Not just as someone that values fan creations but as a victim of actual sa.

Y'all, people claiming that creators have the right to dictate what sort of fanart/fanfic people create is the reason Anne Rice is so fucking hated. When you put your creation out into the public you are handing it over to be interpreted and critiqued and loved and derived from in any way people please. Death of the author means you, the author, are now dead. You DO NOT have the right to dictate what people do with your creation.

Sure, you're allowed on the most basic level to say "I'm not comfortable with people creating fanart/fanfic of my creations" or "I'm not comfortable with people creating nsfw fanart/fanfic of my creations" - no one can stop you. But no one is under any moral obligation to listen to you. That's the very basis of sites like AO3.

"B-b-but BOUNDARIES!!!" Y'all have no fucking idea what a boundary is. A boundary 1. refers to what people do/say TO YOU, not ABOUT YOU (or your creations) and 2. is not a decree about what others can or cannot do, but about what YOU will do in RESPONSE to them. "You can't create nsfw fanart/fanfic of my characters" is NOT a boundary. "If you send me nsfw fanart/fanfic of my characters, I will block you" is a boundary. Do y'all see the difference?

People creating and posting nsfw fanart/fanfic of your characters is NOT a violation of your consent. You are fully, 100% capable of and responsible for avoiding content that you are not comfortable with. If you see art or fic tagged with your characters and tagged nsfw and you click on it, you did not have your consent violated. Merely being aware that this content exists is not a violation of your consent. Being uncomfortable with the knowledge people drew your characters diddling is not fucking comparable to the trauma of being forced against your will to engage in sexual acts and it's deplorable to even entertain the thought of comparing the two.

--

[osakanone]

The steel battalion controller could fix me. Some company needs to make specialty mech controllers so i dont have to spend £350 on 2003 hardware (so i can spend £350 on 2025 hardware).

Mech game Controllers: Solving the unsolvable

I have put so much time into thinking about this and you've basically asked the perfect question.

I think there are really complex and important questions that nobody really has a good robust answer to but also that nobody is really asking those big questions in the first place either, so we're stuck on this issue.

My take is I genuinely think if we want big mecha controllers we have to think about this stuff deeply and profoundly. Like, why we need them and what they're for.

So… This has been tried many times.

NOK or NextOfKin Creatives did try this.

The Mek-Fu lopped horribly, and I was absoloutely fascinated by this at the time and wanted to understand exactly why it had failed. I think we must learn from this failure, so we don't make the same mistakes again.

The lesson I took from Mek-Fu was this: it didn't take because players had nothing to use it in where it was the best fit.

What does this mean?

1) For other games in the real world, it was inferior to keyboard and mouse in games which do not simulate a vehicle. 2) The design wasn't trying to meet some sort of pre-existing need from other games. 3) Steel Battalion emulation did not exist meaningfully yet, and in turn no equivalent game existed on the PC platform which would need it.

Therefor: There was no special environment where its employment made the best sense.

It had nowhere to excel and thrive.

So where have specialty controllers existed, and thrived?

Digital Combat Sim (DCS)

Star Citizen

Euro Truck Simulator

Farming Simulator

What do they all have in common?

They all have robust modding tools for user-created content

They all have some form of social experience or multiplayer

They all are highly accessible (PC, and are controller agnostic*)

They are all sandboxes in some capacity and let users find their own fun.

No mech game which exists at time of writing meets all these terms that I know of.

So what do these controllers look like?

In the case of real vehicles, you can simply ape the real vehicle 1:1, but for fictional vehicles, something special happens -- you see people approach and try to solve the problem in many different ways.

You see, control design in any area exists to solve a problem. The Mek Fu (a response to the VT controller) was a solution looking for a problem, and no problem existed.

From this, we learn that for specialty mech controllers to exist, you first need specialty mech games. Steel Battallion is limited, because it won't run on general hardware and doesn't network or mod easily so it isn't a good fit for this because it makes the game inaccessible and limited.

Let's actually think about the SB controller for a bit:

Steel Battalion approaches its problem from the standpoint of a robot. You might not realize this but a VT or Vertical Tank intentionally controls very similarly to a tractor.

It is influenced by a real thing. I know that sounds absurd, but let me show you what a modern tractor's task control console looks like:

Yeah, not what any of us would have expected.

If you wanna be a mech pilot in 2025, go drive a tractor. I'm not kidding.

Once you're on the field, your hands aren't on the wheel, they're on this thing:

The big stick controls the course in the computer, the little one controls your tool, the many buttons toggle states (or what the little stick is currently triggering) and through these inputs you drive the tractor.

Steel Battalion is very fun, but it won't hold your attention for more than around 100 hours unless you're a real freak about tractors and just don't know it yet.

What's more, Steel Batallion isn't playable to anybody without the controller which limits how many people will be playing it and it isn't social or moddable like the successful games we talked about earlier.

Okay, so what can we do about this?

I think the one feature here that nobody talks about is that of input-agnosticism: The ability to bind your own inputs to something in the game (directly or indirectly through some middle thing) and get good results… But not in some hugely "okay bind 100 things using our controller, or use a keyboard and mouse" binary.

The binary is still not input-agnosticism, and it still will not work.

It has to be granular.

Input agnosticism results in controller agnosticism:

You can bind as much or as little as you want, and you can pass features you don't want to bind directly to a helper subsystem middle-man like an assistant or instructor which will perform limited tasks for you - while you provide the helpers context by telling them which of a limited set of goals you want to achieve.

Say, face a target, or a direction, or aim at a thing. It saves you mental time, though if you did it manually you might get better results (incentivising you towards experimenting in that direction).

Let's touch on why controller agnostic design is really what's needed here, and why its important:

This is the omnithrottle, and and this is the Sublight Dynamics 6dof joystick.

The Omnithrottle tries to solve 6dof throttle management by adding an extra piece to a joystick at the bottom, turning the yaw z-axis-twist of the stick into a sort of vertical axis for direct up and down movement, ascending and descending.

The Sublight Dynamics 6dof joystick combines all six axis into a single device, and is an interesting experiment. I particularly like the puck switches ahead of the user's fingers, inspired likely by Evangelion which in turn was inspired by Sol Bianca's use of them.

We got great lessons in human factors for space dogfighting from both:

The omnithrottle produces huge fatigue if you use it in coupled mode (software assisted flight), because you have to hold the joystick base forward, fighting the springs. This is fine in decoupled mode (where you coast under newtonian force) but not everybody uses it. Likewise, if you remove that spring, you lose fine movement because you can no longer feel where the middle is anymore.

The SD6DOF creates a conflict in Fitt's law (speed and precision are enemies of each-other, and to get both you need a tool in the middle to help you) where some precision is lost due to the same muscles needing to drive more axis at once.

These are both many years old now, and over time we've seen many many solutions to this problem flop.

Well, VKB announced the Space Throttle Grip a few days ago, which rethinks the distribution of axis and combines the best features of both.

The key thing is, this is an evolutionary space with competing ideas. A healthy ecosystem.

And its only possible because the game's inputs are controller agnostic.

This doesn't just mean that it'll let you bind any input device directly to things, but that there are multiple ways to achieve your desired outcomes even on the software side with the helper middleman we talked about (in this case, coupling modes).

Does your machine turn to face an arbitrary vector which is the thing you actually steer or select (Warthunder)? Do you have direct input control? Do you haven an autopilot?

Here's a lecture by F22 Raptor test-pilot Randy Gordon talking about some of this stuff, giving you a frame of reference with a real vehicle which exists.

When you can pick between those goals them, you have what's called "a software" in human factors. Your two grips become arbitrary and are now called inceptors.

The software drives the machine, and you drive the software. You can override the software and provide a manual input, but the other elements you are not overriding will try to compensate to maintain a desired state. If you know how to manipulate this, it means you only need a small number of axis to achieve a very complex control action.

A great example is how long you hold the A-button in Mario changes how much power his jump has. The action is a versatile verb.

Imagine a person balancing. If their goal is to stay upright, and I push them, they translate across the ground and try to stay the right way up, turning that push force into horizontal force. They are following an instruction: remain upright.

If I make that person carry a very heavy thing, they compensate their body's balance accordingly. If I then use my finger and tell them to act as if I am pushing them with that gentle motion, they will respond but if they go too far they can say "hey, don't do that, I'll drop the heavy thing!" and ignore my pushing instruction -- because my directive telling them to remain upright superseded it.

We need to think of mecha in terms like these, and to do mecha, we need to make a standard of accessible rules like this which input devices can talk to via axis and buttons, with lots of middlemen.

Absolute (mouse-like) and relative (stick like) and accumiulated (driving a mouse with a stick by having a variable over time) and blended (driving a car with a d-pad with a simulated wheel that wants to return to zero all the time, replicating a stick) inputs must be middle-modes processing and digesting inputs in these ways. Curves matter. Biases and preferences must be accounted for.

This means finally solving "how" the giant robot works in software (even if its a design conceit), and then having systems which poke at the "how" to bias it in a direction toward an outcome.

My favourite version of this is a deliberately clumsy mech-game called Robot Alchemic Drive (RAD for short).

Playable on a regular PS2 controller, the triggers and bumpers drive the legs like a tank. The sticks drive the arms.

The robot's body has physics. You are controlling a thing.

There are no helpers to correct your motions other than when the robot stands up and to keep it upright (its otherwise 100% manual, playing back motion planning which gets fed into the physics) but yes, there is a simulated body here.

With helpers, this could get faster and way, way more fluent.

So how might these "helpers" in software work?

Think for example of how a body in motion continues to move. With a robot in a vacuum like space, you'd continue indefinitely. That's hard to control.

Do you automatically slow down and fake aerodynamic drag axially with your boosters to allow curved trajectories and soft stopping with a motion-control-decoupling-mode (as Star Citizen does), or do you have a breaking system a user can activate on a pedal or trigger, to apply those forces on different axis when they want them?

What are those axis bound to, the pelvis, the thorax, the head, the synthetic vision 3rd person camera?

These are really complicated questions, and this is just about how we make a vehicle come to a stop!

Now this might seem niche, but this exact same kind of thought also applies to how a robot balances, and how it digs its feet into the ground, creating torque or not situationally.

This isn't just fine grained motion like "moving our legs manually", but how and when we apply breaking force on the ground.

Do we apply it when we let go of the left stick?

Does the left stick prescribe a preferred velocity?

Does it prescribe input forces?

Do we change between these situationally, or maybe with a button?

Its important to think about these things.

"You're making this too complex!!"

"But why would we do this? What is the value? People are playing Armored Core 6 with a HOTAS!!"

Yeah, and that experience is not great, actually?

You're actually less capable than a keyboard and mouse-player, because Armored Core 6 isn't a game which simulates orientation over time (the body turns instantly as if by magic), so you're just driving relative inputs. You are literally disadvantaged.

Armored Core 6 has no "vehicle": This is an action-game's 3rd person control software. Its Elden Ring's horse, with a jetpack, and the roll replaced with a dash. Everything else is animations.

Its visually impressive, but there's something fundamentally missing:

Fahrvergnügen.

It means "driving pleasure" in German.

The feeling you get when you speed up going down hill, or you feel the give of the wheels against the road and the lean of the car when you take a corner.

When you bank against air in an aircraft, or turn faster than your velocity changes and you drift.

That good feeling, that's fahrvergnügen.

A game which really gets this I think is Armored Core: For Answer. I know many of you might have expected Mechwarrior here but the physics of Mechwarrior games are extremely simple, following an interpolative model.

Interpolative here means, a bit of calculus is used to ensure a smooth arching curve is how you go from zero to a high speed at all times, or a rotation, so on and so forth. This "smoothness" is the same smoothness present in Armored Core 6.

Armored Core For Answer on the other hand, is additive in how it calculates velocity per second, meaning your AC's velocity curve is inconsistent. The game has hidden stats calculating aerodynamic drag per part, it has a simplified model of angular momentum, and it has ground friction and its boosting system is different on each axis.

All of your inputs are analogue, including the angle of your boosters on left stick, and two booster-types: Your main booster handling like a motor-cycle throttle curve, and the other not only having many stages of output for flashes of thrust via contexts (combining motion and direction together to produce an intent) but also combos and even cancels. Its VERY sophisticated!

That's a lot of different factors to control. A lot of fahrvergnügen to be experienced when you master them, and feel ownership of them.

Lots of areas for skill expression.

This, combined with a rich weapon balance and a complex combat geometry (the emergent spatial and pressure rules of motion, aspects, angles and motions similar to the aircraft dogfighting) are why people are still playing this game today.

The match I uploaded was from four days ago, as of time of writing. People are still modding a game from 2008, limited to console by hacking the rom file's patches. Yeah.

I know among many game reviewers, "smooth" and "smoothness" is considered a compliment in game design (its easy to control), but interpolative motion really is the opposite of fahrvergnügen:

Interpolative suffers from feeling "zippy" and "hollow" when its fast, which is why lots of players and designers insist on slowing games down so they recover their fahrvergnügen.

You don't have to do things this way. A good mech sandbox should reward both fast and slow movement in its design!

There should be room for everybody to play!

In interpolative movement games, motion is already solved, to sell you the superficial power-fantasy (that you're good, despite not having learned how to be good) instead of giving you the experience.

Interpolation is insisting the burger you got at McDonalds is the same as the burger on the commercial. Like the burger at McDonalds, its also way way easier to make, and in today's market yeah, you take what's easy and known because you have economic pressures to get things done quickly.

You can't make a five star meal in a McDonalds kitchen, and the AAA games industry is the McDonalds kitchen of gaming.

So, what is a three star michelin meal, in terms of inputs, with additive movement?

You incentivise people with the cheaper stuff on the menu. That's robust helper tools which let keyboard and mouse players, or gamepads interact fluently.

Its affordable, and easy and gets people invested in your experience.

Then when people use fancy controllers, you get better response-rate. Because everybody buys into the mecha fantasy when they play, being beaten by someone who is controlling more complex control factors more directly at once (making them a better pilot) feels fairer.

They are negotiating the machine's limits better than you are.

You both know they more "an char" than you are:

It becomes aspirational, rather than annoying, which is how the culture of space-simming, and flight-sims, and other vehicle sims express this. It also fits the mecha fantasy, because those with basic controls are your grunt units.

We see this if we look at cockpit controls in Gundam: A Jegan's control inceptor is way simpler than say, Unicorn's.

It is just part of the fantasy.

So let's talk about these limits we negotiate.

It means, some kind of vehicle must be simulated in software, even if its a very simple abstraction purely enough so it feels good for players.

Also, I say "a software" or "helpers" what do I mean?

I don't just mean the simulated vehicle, but a robust modular middle system in the "player controller" part of the game simulation which interprets desired outcomes from a pilot user or operator and tries to achieve them.

Here's an example, let's talk about Armored Core's lockon system, which uses a software stack to turn your intention into an outcome in exactly this way.

Your robot's simulated sensors (radar, visual, etc) detects a list of potential targets…

Which uses camera orientation of a synthetic vision system to give you comprehensive 3d awareness to determine which target is interesting to you…

After selecting the target, it passes that information to the fire control system which computes a trajectory from its position and velocity…

This then talks to your weapons which know how fast your bullets go…

and this picks where to lead along that trajectory…

then that location is sent to the arms to execute that command…

Which then sends the state of this command chain to your HUD, so you understand what the body of your robot is currently trying to achieve.

Each step is influenced by ingame statistics and simulated mechanical limits -- meaning, how well you can lock up, or even select a target is very important.

You can't instantly put a cursor on something and bot a game, because everybody already has a deliberately limited aimbot, it came with your robot, to negotiate its deliberately limited body.

The key thing is, this is much much faster and more effective than you could as a human select the target manually and hit accurate than you could with round velocities -- with most videogames hiding this with hitscan (instantaneous bullet) weapons meaning whatever you click on is hit right away.

When the round takes time to get there, things are far more difficult. This is why almost nobody uses manual aiming unless they're throwing explosives at big bulky targets in AC.

From limitations like this, booster performance, turn-rate, and so on and so forth -- the negotiation of limits produces a combat geometry and how well you understand that combat geometry, and how well you understand your abilities to your opponents abilities dictates how the fight will go.

We see something somewhat similar in Steel Batallion with the lockon system but we also have a lot of deep manual control over our VT's orientations which change its balance and so on. Steel Batallion is in fact, one of the few games where your robot can fall over and get back up.

This is exactly how DCS and Star Citizen also work, and very similar principles apply in Eurotruck Simulator and Farming Simulator via the fuel, cooling, air, combustion cycle, and transmission, and shock absorbsion systems of your vehicle.

Okay, so now what?

I've been thinking for a while now about writing what I think would be the mech-game equivalent of the paper Tim Berners Lee wrote for the web (Information Management: A proposal) going into what I think the simulation would really need, what the software would need, what the controller would need and some suggested practical strategies for solving these problems based in real research I and others have done.

The system I've already built solves for fire control, fine arm motion, head movement, independent pelvis and foot motion, the operation of boosters and other similar systems in a 6dof environment which accounts for gravity, aerodynamics, balancing, alignment and full motion control -- all on a standard game controller. Its not modular yet, simply because I am not a skilled programmer, and would need real help to do this.

There's also game-design research here, which would ensure the combat geometry would reward skill expression via investing in that agnostic game design, so the control skill aligns with the power-fantasy through skill expression. This means no one strategy becomes overwhelming.

It likewise, also has the "for gamepad and keyboard/mouse" solve which would be needed to ensure its accessible for those who aren't ready yet for custom controllers.

In turn, it also has considerations and proposals for such likely controller designs and probable strategies of employment which of course translate and map to two big sticks, in a HOSAS (Hands on Stick and Stick) layout.

So what's your ideal controller?

Less a controller, and more a principle:

Key to the proposal is you can scale up the amount of control bindings, or scale it down passing automation to helper subsystems which take your intention and act on it in a useful way.

You could have just two plain sticks with foot pedals, or you could go ham and have some complex force feedback device with tons of inputs -- because of this input agnosticism.

The secret sauce I think to the highest end control is the use of software defined force-feedback not only for the two big sticks, but also four smaller ones: one each for your thumb, and one each for your finger on each hand, and an analogue trigger. I've seen this solved in open source projects, so its entirely doable.

What does this actually mean?

Source: KAIST-HCIL/FS-Pad

The purpose of a force-feedback stick is software defined -- driving the camera, pelvis, upper body, boosters, walking etc variably, with the feedback not necessarily telling you about the environment -- but also by providing what amounts to new input devices.

To explain, force feedback works by providing input to the stick like a robot arm and is not at all like a rumble feedback device. This means the position the stick "wants to return to" at any given time is not defined by springs like it is in a conventional controller, but by active software which can update in real-time.

This means resistance can be different in different directions, or the stick can even hold a position you give it in one axis but not another, replicating a hat switch or a flight throttle.

I've looked at many different open source projects which achieve these outcomes both on thumb-sticks and main sticks with great outcomes, and I think a prototype could be made if I had a team, or other people to work with.

If interest is expressed, I'll produce a specification proposal for what this input agnostic design in software needs to be (eg, how the robot is controlling) in strictly defined terms which can be implemented.

You can already see it on my Tumblr account as TOMINO, NAGANO, etc where I go into some of this -- all of which works on a standard controller, but adapts extremely well to a large HOSAS.

Likewise, I'd (eventually) also produce a proposal for a controller design which meets this specification.

I've been testing this concept on and off for many years now in Unreal Engine (I'm not a skilled programmer, not skilled with CAD or electronics, depression limits my effective outcome returns -- but I'm still getting very promising outcomes).

Ultimately what I'd really want access to is expertise and help, since my background is mainly thinking about and designing solutions for problems not necessarily implementing them -- and I'm essentially on disability, so I have unlimited time to think about this.

I don't want to ask for money, which I figure is the thing everybody is anticipating: I'd rather get this done than make money from it.

In conclusion?

To solve this what's needed isn't some figure of brilliance in a basement or garage somewhere, but an organic ecosystem of designers and builders responding to pressures, and we've already see that work many times very well.

In our case, nobody has defined the vehicle or the modular helpers in a way robust enough to capture every fantasy effectively.

That's the issue.

tl;dr coming away from this:

For the controller to exist, you first must have something to control.

To be a pilot, you first need a vehicle.

--

Live forever, Apes.

[asaka-lucy-hl]

Report on the 3rd Online Meeting of the Last Defense Academy School Council (Held on February 28)

The archived video is now available for the School Council members, so I’ve listed the key points and comments from Kodaka and Inou (THL’s producer) that I found particularly important or amusing. Part of the report is written in the form of a conversation, and the person named Miyokawa who appears in it is the editor-in-chief of a Japanese gaming media outlet called Famitsu.

Q: There are now 55 days until release. How are things going? Kodaka: We’re working on some patches, but development itself is basically finished. Until recently, I was making final adjustments to the parts I was responsible for, as well as checking the balance of the SRPG sections. But now that’s all settled, so I’ve been playing through the parts written by other writers—the ones I wasn’t involved in during development—as a player.

Q: So you're playing THL from a player’s perspective? Kodaka: Yes, exactly. There are parts I didn’t oversee at all, so I’m experiencing them for the first time myself.

Q: The demo’s reviews have the status of “Overwhelmingly Positive”… Kodaka: They’re all fake reviews. (Everyone laughs) Kodaka: We paid people 100 yen each to write them. Miyokawa: That’s cheap. (laughs) Inou: I personally wrote about 30 of them. (Everyone laughs) Miyokawa: Let’s not make jokes like that—it could spread in a weird way. It’s not true! (laughs) Right now, there are around 806 reviews. Kodaka: It’s really nice to see so many reviews for just the demo.

Q: Do you feel the impact of the feedback? Kodaka: Yes, I do. With Rain Code, we didn’t release a demo, and while DRV3 had a demo, there wasn’t really a place for people to leave reviews like this. So being able to see this kind of reaction is really valuable. We’ve even used some of the feedback to make adjustments in patches, so in that sense, I’m glad we released a demo. Also, as I mentioned in my Famitsu interview today, seeing the reactions to the demo has been a relief. My worries have eased a bit. Before the demo was released, I was thinking, “What if we only sell 600 copies...?” But now I know we’ll at least sell 800, so I feel a little better. (Everyone laughs) Miyokawa: I don’t think 800 copies is a number you should feel reassured about. (laughs)

Q: The SRPG sections were more challenging than I expected. Kodaka: That’s true. I think that’s one of the aspects that received particularly good feedback. When it comes to the story, a lot of people commented that it felt “Danganronpa-like” and nostalgic, but for the SRPG sections, it seemed like many players only truly understood what they were like after playing them.

The SRPG has a system where, if you get a game over, various relief measures kick in, making it progressively easier. Personally, when I play action games and keep getting game overs, I always think, “Why doesn’t this game have some kind of relief system?!” Since I’m more of a casual gamer, after dying three times, I just want the game to let me clear it already.

Miyokawa: So THL has that kind of relief system? Kodaka: Yes. Since I’m the type of person who wants that kind of feature, I made sure to include it.

Q: Since we have Kodaka here, I’d love for the School Council members to share their thoughts directly with you. But at the same time, many fans are hesitant to say too much because they’re worried about spoilers.

Kodaka: Yeah, but honestly, what’s playable in the demo is really just the tip of the iceberg—actually, more like the tip of the tip of the iceberg. I’ve seen a lot of reviews commenting on how surprisingly large the demo is, saying things like, “I can’t believe they released this much content.” But in reality, it’s just a small fraction of the full game. So many more things are going to happen from here on.

On the other hand, since the development team talks openly about all this stuff among ourselves, I sometimes worry that I might accidentally slip up and drop a keyword or something.

Most SRPGs tend to have a fantasy feel, but I think this demo really conveys just how much of a 'chuunibyou' (edgy, over-the-top) vibe the game has.

(Everyone laughs)

One thing that’s always bothered me about SRPGs is how, toward the end, the gameplay often turns into just surrounding the last enemies and bullying them. At a certain point, you realize, “Oh, I can’t lose anymore,” and the tension disappears. I wanted to reduce that as much as possible.

So, I designed the game around "comeback victories." The more allies you lose, the stronger you become.

I set it up so that, near the end, you might think, “Only two of us are left... but if we risk everything, we might just pull this off... We did it!!!” That kind of dramatic, high-stakes moment. I feel like that also adds to the game’s chuunibyou spirit.

---

<Kodaka's Comments During the Fan Q&A Session>

Darumi is the kind of character that seems like they could fit into Danganronpa but actually can't. If you have a character like that, they’d basically have to be killed off early on. So, while they might seem like a Danganronpa character, they actually wouldn’t work.

Maruko wouldn’t fit either. Someone that much of a coward would be hard to use in the story. Ginzaki as well—if he keeps sinking into self-loathing every time he speaks, the Class Trial wouldn’t progress at all. Surprisingly, there are a lot of characters that seem like they could appear in Danganronpa but actually wouldn’t.

For the first nine characters (except for Takumi), I wanted them to feel a little more relatable, a bit more grounded compared to the ones in Danganronpa or Rain Code. Maruko, Kawana, Shizuhara—they don’t have over-the-top appearances. Since this game has war as a theme, I wanted to include somewhat realistic reactions to that. So, at first, I aimed to depict real high school students with these nine characters. ...But I couldn't really do it. laughs In the end, I just kept adding more and more, and it turned out the same as always—intense characters all over again.

(Everyone laughs)

Kodaka: Still, I think the designs are slightly more relatable than those in Danganronpa, don’t you? Miyokawa: Darumi might be a bit extreme, though. Kodaka: Yeah, that’s true. But then all the characters that got added later ended up being way too intense, which made for a really unbalanced mix. laughs

Q: Are you participating in the 100-day login campaign? Kodaka: I haven’t logged in once. (Everyone laughs)

Q. The controls with the keyboard are difficult. Can they be improved before release? Kodaka: To be honest, I strongly recommend using a gamepad. Well... making adjustments for keyboard controls costs money, you know. Inou: Yeah, it’s not like we didn’t consider it, but given the budget, we decided it was better to just ask players to use a gamepad.

Q: Will there be any shocking announcements before the release? Kodaka: Honestly, we’re still debating how much to reveal. From a marketing perspective, it would be better to make an honest announcement that "This and that happen," people would go, "Whoa, this game is insane!" But at the same time, I want players to experience those surprises firsthand. So I’m thinking maybe it’s best to hold back and rely on post-release word-of-mouth instead. I don’t want to ruin those moments of shock for the players.

That said, I was looking at the demo reviews, and it seems like a lot of people were really reacting to Aotsuki’s event CG from Tokyo Game Show. Maybe that’s because, after playing the demo, they understood the characters better?

Inou: Yeah, that one definitely got people buzzing and stirred up a lot of "What!?!" reactions. Kodaka: At TGS, we had a bunch of event CGs on display at the booth. And we figured, "Hey, let’s throw in something fun at the edge of the lineup!" So we deliberately included one of the more intense event CGs. But I think it’s still hard to understand why things turned out that way.

There are over 600 event CGs in the game, so I doubt many people will see all of this.

---

On the development process

Kodaka: Today, various sections of the team were interviewed, and while reminiscing about the road to release, our staff kept saying things like: "I never thought we’d finish this game." "There’s no way this is possible."

Honestly, for the past two years, I’ve been hearing nothing but people saying, “It’s impossible! We can’t finish it!”

Miyokawa: Sounds like the whole Tookyo Games team was in despair. Kodaka: Yeah, Tookyo Games was in despair. Even Media.Vision (the company handling the SRPG sections) was in despair. Inou: Right. And since I was managing the project, I was in despair too. (Everyone laughs) Inou: So, at some point, I thought we had to force ourselves to finish it. Speaking of which, someone started saying scary things like, "If we had another year, we could have done even better..." Kodaka: It would never be finished at that rate. laughs Miyokawa: That just shows how ambitious the game was. Kodaka: Yeah, and I think the quality turned out really high. The character sprites and music are really abundant, too.

Plus, in the ADV sections, the scripting was all handled by the actual scenario writers. For the sections I wrote, I also did all the scripting myself. In fact, the entire ADV section of the demo—I handled all the scripting for it.

That’s probably why people kept saying in reviews that it feels like Danganronpa—because everything, from the way sound effects are used to the way music changes, was all done in my style.

While working on this, I realized that I’m actually really good at scripting. Maybe even better than writing scenarios. I genuinely feel like my directing makes things more engaging.

Miyokawa: Do different writers have their own distinct styles? Kodaka: Yeah, you can really tell, especially with Uchikoshi—his writing stands out a lot. There are some sections where you just know it’s him. But I think that’s part of the game’s charm—there are so many different routes, and multiple writers contributed to them.

---

[Closing Segment]

Miyokawa: Now then, does anyone know what day it is today, February 28th? Kodaka: Monster Hunter release day! Miyokawa: (laughs) Oh, the team members know what I mean. That’s right—it’s Ginzaki’s birthday! So, we have prepared a cake for him!

What do you think? Kodaka: That’s impressive. It does look a bit like his ears are melting though. Miyokawa: Well, is he really that beloved? Inou: I believe a lot of people will end up loving him. He’s already popular at ANIPLEX, and he’s one of my favorites too. Kodaka: He does have a great range of expressions. A lot of them are annoying, though. (Everyone laughs) Miyokawa: Even the expression on the cake is a little irritating, right? He doesn't seem to be aware that he is being celebrated. ---

Miyokawa: Lastly, do you have any message for the School Council members? Kodaka: Well, after the release, I’d love to have a meeting where we can share our thoughts without worrying about spoilers. I think a lot of different impressions will come up. Probably, about a month after the release, people who have played it will have completely different opinions, so I’d like to hear everyone’s thoughts at a good time. I think this is a work where sharing impressions will be a lot of fun, so please look forward to it and wait until the release.

---

That’s all for now. Please note that this post only highlights the parts of their statements that I found interesting, and some sections have been edited for flow, as they were not originally consecutive.

I hope you find some parts of it enjoyable to read. Thanks for reading! 🌟

[diy-languages]

Free Korean Learning Courses! : Part 1

-> These are some free resources I used or heard about a lot to learn Korean and what they include, there's probably way more! I'll make more parts in the future. There's also ratings and pesonal notes about each one, but again they're 'personal' so it might not be the same for everyone! That's why you should always try it yourself first.

-> These resources are or were fully free when I used them, if anything changed and they're no longer free I do not take any responsibility for possible accidental purchases, I recommend to always check first before processing with it.

Here we go:

GoodJobKorean — Full free Hangul Course, 12 Lessons, Videos (with pronunciation, etc) + Pdf Practice sheets (with some vocabulary) + Quizes to see if you understood each lesson.

Rating: 100/10 I tried and loved it, easy to understand and explained nicely. Really useful for beginners learning hangul!

A/N: You may have to rebuy it after a month (not sure because I finished it in less then a month and never logged back in) but It's still free (if not you can always just make another account to get it free again)

GoldenKeyKorean: Free Hangul course, pronunciation + 2H long master course (advanced and basic levels) with 2 pdf books

Rating: I personally did not try this one, but I'm pretty sure it's fully free (at least that's what I've seen), but he often does limited editions/limited time special free courses so it's better to check if the offer is still active and follow his instagram for future updates and courses.

Now Korean Class: Fully free 9 Korean courses with different levels (1-9) with multiple videos for each, explains sentence structures, grammar, counters, numbers, and way more.

Rating: 100/10, It really is free, multiple levels, sooo many different things to learn I absolutely loved it!!

A/N: You just have to rebuy it after a month but I'm pretty sure it's still free (if not you can always just make another account to get it free again). I recently lost acess to it, idk why I think my phone is lagging... It tells me something went wrong to try again later, lol, just in case some content changed etc I wouldn't know.

Koldoristudy: 3 different Free Korean PDF study sheets, 1 Hangul, 1 Vocabulary and 1 winter study, includes Grammar, stroke order guides and syllable blocks,

Rating: 10/10 Loved it, I thought it would be just some pdf files to boringly write hangul/words but It's actually way more! it explains grammar and some useful language rules!

Talk to me in korean: Multiple free podcasts on different platforms + PDF with grammar and vocabulary explained for different levels of learners, 7 days free trial with possible cancelation

Rating: 9/10 It's really good, I'm just not a big fan of podcasts as I have a short attention spawn LOL. I personally didn't try the 7-days free trial but they do have LOTS of different lessons and videos that seem to be amazing and useful.

A/N: personally I find their website really confusing, to make things easier you can try things like just typing "Talk To me In korean (Pdf level _)" on google and the first link should be the free pdf file, etc etc.

Loescen Learn Korean Website: Free Interactive web-based learning, important vocabulary, pronunciation beginner to intermediate level, basic conversation courses and dialogues

Rating: 8/10, so good!! It surprised me, I just wish it went more in deep about things like sentence structures and grammar instead of blindly learning dialogue lines or words without breaking them into steps for deeper understanding of the language.

A/N: works for other languages too!!

Live Lingua: Multiple free ebooks and audio files lessons, grammar, vocabulary, hangul, etc, beginner to advanced,

Rating: 9/10 Covers up a lot of different things like I said, grammar, vocabulary, etc etc, but AGAIN each course covers many subjects and it quickly feels heavy and too long/complicated/takes too much time (personally for me, as an individual with ADHD)

How to study korean: LOTS of grammar and vocabulary, beginners to advanced, multiple lessons, linked YT videos to reinforce lessons, PDFs, etc

Rating: 100/10 explains really well, SO MUCH STUFF, different levels, it's really awesome! Lessons are available in multiple languages and not just English!! However again I find it a bit intimidating as it really has LOTS of things to learn which make it seem hard and heavy...

A/N: Personally I find the website complicated to navigate 😭 just type "how to study korean lesson _" for easier access if you want and It should be the top results

Udemy TOPIK grammar through 100 patters: TOPIK vocabulary, grammar and conversations, 100 grammatical patters koreans use a lot

Rating: 8/10 really good, well explained, but again personally it feels pretty heavy and long, videos in Korean with English subtitles, however there are no English subtitles for "example sentences" which sucks, you need to know some basic vocabulary to really understand the example sentences used there.

Tomi Korean: Free PDF with 430 basic korean vocabulary (words, verbs, nouns, adjectives, etc) with audio files, free PDF Worksheet for hangul learning

Rating: 8/0 Love it, really nice for useful vocabulary but you'll have to willingly study the words cause the pdf only makes you write it once and it's really just Korean-English translations, but it has images so its good for visual learners too! Personally I also found it takes a lot of storage to download everything lol.

A/N: I did not check the hangul worksheet as I can already write and read hangul but little personal opinion/tip; I think GoodJobKorean is the best option to learn Hangul here, specially compared to this one. Yes I did not try this Hangul Worksheet but I believe GoodJobKorean offers more variated content and help (videos, quizes, etc) than what a PDF sheet has to offer, that's my opinion.

That's all so far!

Many of these courses have social media accounts where they post different content and tricks to learn, I'll be making a post about those in the future too!!

If anything changed since I first used these resources or if there's any misinformation in this post, please let me know!

[blackkatmagic]

Can I ask why you're so strongly against emojis as comments?

So there are...two parts to this answer. One is in the frame of like...my brain interprets someone dropping an emoji as basically the equivalent of a like. "I was here, but I didn't like what you created enough to say anything about it." And I get that, truly. But due to physical and mental health things in my recent life, writing has been hard. Getting that kind of response is super disheartening, even if I know logically that most people don't see emoji comments the same way I do.

The other part is that I'm old. I've been in fandom for a long time - I was on email lists writing ST fanfic, and then in weird subgroup forums where you were only allowed to write certain things the mods felt were "canon-supported", and then finally on more mainstream sites like ffnet and AO3. Fandom's always been a community for me, right from the first. I would not still be writing if it hadn't been for the handful of fans who were exceptionally kind and encouraging to a nerdy German girl who wrote in bad English and had weird ideas for plotlines and talked too much. They were the people who kept me going, having conversations with me and leaving kind comments on objectively bad fics and getting jazzed about the same things as me.

In fandom as a whole, emoji comments are a very new phenomenon. I've gone back to look, and they only started becoming common about two years ago. And now, before I asked people not to leave them, they were rapidly becoming the majority of the comments I received.

Again, I get why. It's an easy way to show appreciation. But it's also a complete lack of engagement. It means someone liked something! But as the writer you have no idea what. There's no community to it, just bland consumption of the content you're rolling out. No one is talking about fandom, they're just taking. And I see my hit counts. I know that's always happened, but it's getting to be more and more of a thing. Emoji spamming on every single chapter of a 70-chapter fic might feel, to the commenter, like they're being super supportive, but it's also less impactful for a writer and a fellow fan than a person who leaves one comment that says something they liked about the plot or the writing style or some neat flip on a canon trope.

So yeah. Basically it's a "get off my lawn" thing about how the youngsters in fandom have no appreciation for the effort artists and writers and the like put in, but. I don't think I'm wrong, given the way things are trending.

Anyway. Reblog things, comment on things, send people asks, interact with things if you want fandom to keep going, my dudes. Otherwise it's going to die out. And people dropping emojis instead of words 99 times out of 100 is a symptom of that.

[pro-sipper]

I understand that we should just block content we don't wanna see, but I still think things like proships or ships that are wrong and illegal in irl should be kept private. Because that is exposing kids to the romantization of abuse, incest, and pedophilia. This content may expose them to predators, which could cause them harmful trauma, the type that people claim to use proshipping for. They may think that a person older than them liking a kid is ok, even though the adult has bad intentions. We know that they are fictional characters, but they represent real people and can still affect kids. And if this isn't supposed to affect them irl, why do so many groomers show proship media and illegal art to grow kids?

Don't want to start anything just curious

I think the short version of the argument is basically "the internet shouldn't have to be a 100% sanitized and safe space for children". But getting further into it...

"but I still think things like proships or ships that are wrong and illegal in irl should be kept private."

It's not worth mentioning now but "proships" aren't a thing. Proship doesn't stand for problematic ship, it's not an adjective.

My question is why this line of thinking only applies to ships? Murder and cannibalism are also illegal, but no one's going around saying you should keep your love of horror to yourself, or only watch R rated movies in the privacy of your own home.

"Because that is exposing kids to the romantization of abuse, incest, and pedophilia."

The majority of people interacting with media like this, or making posts about this, DO NOT want kids interacting with their content! They slap every rating, warning label, and trigger tag under the sun onto their work to say that it is not for kids. At the end of the day, that's all you can do. It is not one random proshipper's job to shelter every single child in the world.

Furthermore, kids are exposed to that crap from plenty of other places besides randos on tumblr. Walking into a library or turning on a television can easily expose kids to these topics just as much as going onto ao3 or opening tumblr could. That doesn't mean every professional author or tv writer on earth needs to create art that's palatable for children. Because that's not their responsibility.

"This content may expose them to predators"

It's grim to say, but literally anything on earth could potentially expose a child to a predator. Getting on the bus, going to the park, going to school, going to church, going to a friend's house, going home. Honestly I think it's a bit of a privileged mindset to think that a child would be 100% safe in this world if it weren't for faceless boogeymen online committing the sin of writing dark fic of their Blorbos.

"which could cause them harmful trauma,"

Again, that trauma could come from anywhere. And you're putting the weight of preventing that onto random strangers online, not anyone who's concretely in the hypothetical child's life, or actually responsible for them

"the type that people claim to use proshipping for"

Appreciate the subtleties of invalidating other people's trauma. Just because you don't have the same coping mechanisms doesn't mean theirs are invalid. Especially when countless licensed therapists agree that writing is one of the better ways you can help process trauma.

And to state the obvious, you don't need to have trauma to be a proshipper. Not everyone uses dark content for self reflection, some people just think it's neat.

"They may think that a person older than them liking a kid is ok, even though the adult has bad intentions."

A kid should not be getting 100%, or even most of their life lessons from fictional media. Parents, guardians, teachers, and other trusted adults in a child's life are the ones who need to teach them right from wrong, and how to protect themselves. I remember being a kid and being told by my mom "now if a stranger pulls up to you and says they lost their puppy and they'll give you candy if you help them look for it, do NOT go with them". That was her job as a parent.

Now I know that sadly, not every child has that kind of trusted adult in their life. But it's not the responsibility of a bunch of fanfic authors on tumblr to fill in the gaps.

"We know that they are fictional characters, but they represent real people and can still affect kids."

It doesn't matter how closely or loosely fiction depicts our reality, it's still just fiction at the end of the day. Movies have been using the whole "Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental" disclaimer for almost as long as there have been movies.

"And if this isn't supposed to affect them irl, why do so many groomers show proship media and illegal art to grow kids?"

One, art is not illegal. Unless you get caught graffiti-ing, then you might get fined. And no one is saying this kind of thing can't affect a child. But why, in this scenario, are you putting the blame on fanfic authors and fanartists before putting the blame on the actual groomer??

And again I ask, what exactly is "proship media" anyway? I'm guessing the kind of stuff that constantly appears on people's DNI lists, which could be anything from Steven Universe to Cannibal Holocaust, so who really knows??

Like I said in the short version, the internet should not have to be sanitized for the sake of the children. The entire internet does not need to be one giant safe space for kids. Adults have a right to talk about adult things with other adults. To explore dark topics in fiction, or to have fun with taboos in a harmless way.

I want the world to be safe for kids too. But the way to do that isn't to forbid adults from posting shit online. Instead of trying to shield children from every controversial, difficult, or uncomfortable topic under the sun, give them the tools they need to learn how to process these things.

Be a safe person to talk to if a kid has a question. Help them understand why something might be okay in a fantasy setting, but it's not something that should carry over into real life (like, a fairy tale prince kissing an sleeping princess to break a curse is fine, but in real life where there's no magic you should always make sure someone is okay with it before kissing them. Something like that)

Teach them internet safety, above all else. When I was a kid, you didn't give out any personal info. Nowadays kids have no qualms about giving out their full name, age, list of phobias and disorders, showing their school, their house - the list goes on.

Honestly, I think we need to go back to scaring kids with Stranger Danger, at least a little. But that's starting to veer into a different topic and I think I've said all I need to say about this one today.

[biibini]

nsfw modern!mizu headcannons pt3

tags: nsfw, smut, wlw, strap on referred to as cock, cunnillingus, praise, missionary, doggy, if u squint its rough, degrading, teasing, edging, ass squeezes, orgasm

a/n: happy 100??? followers?? i love u all???? i finished some hw and some photoshoot work so here's a treat for both of us :3

18+ content below!

modern!mizu loves to hold ur hand while she's deep inside u, strap on

that's if she's feeling sweet & loving

which is most nights

however, if u were acting like a brat it's totally different

she has the patience but if u rlly ticked her off

or left her during the summer for an internship

she'll still be loving but WAYYY more dirty talk

definitely degrade u

calling u her pretty slut

(yes i already talked ab this on the last part but lemme remind yall)

modern!mizu is big on praise

typically she's reserved when it comes to u in public

prefers to let her work talk for her such as a side hug or holding ur hand when u guys are out

through her actions, she’s loving without the need to say much

at times, she doesn’t mind calling u “love” or “baby” in a sweet endearing way when its just the two of u in public

but behind closed doors…

(im giggling and kicking my feet writing this sorry chat)

she loves constantly calling u her pretty girl or her love

those praises escalate into dirty territory especially when she knows ur close

(yes i also did write ab this but shhh)

and she gets all close to ur ear

while whispering sweet nothings, she continues to stimulate u with soft kisses and hickies on ur neck

she loves hearing how loud ur voice can rise under her touch

or how much ur wet cave squelches just with her two fingers

it's addicting to hear u unfold

modern!mizu prefers missionary

yeah sure its a basic vanilla position

but mizu can watch herself enter easily

ur practically dripping at this point

while having easy access to ur breasts

something soft and tender to hold

or easy access to ur sides and hold for stability

while having front row seats to ur entire reaction

a 3-in-1 combo

she just loves hearing her beautiful girlfriend’s voice slowly lose control of any noises coming out

any whimpers or moans will not be held back

modern!mizu would make it her mission to hear anything come out of u

similar to the praising point

but more on the border of teasing

it doesnt help that she lowers her voice the closer she gets to ur ears

if ur biting ur lip or biting the inside of ur cheek, she will spot u holding back

it’s a lil scary how easy she can read u

but u pay no attention once she’s close to ur neck, one of ur most vulnerable spots

Mizu nuzzles you, letting her head rest in the crook of your neck. You close your eyes and inhale, telling yourself to relax under Mizu. You feel a digit slowly pull out, continuing to thrust into you at a agonizingly slow pace. She pulls out again, a tear running down Mizu’s middle finger.

You take another deep breath, scrunching your eyebrows and attempting to control yourself. You feel Mizu kiss your neck, leaving behind bruises that are soon to bloom purple. She works her way to your ear, her breath practically melting you away.

“I know you want more, don’t you?”, Mizu whispered breathily. Her digit pushing deeper into you. You bite your lip, silencing your moan with a “mmph” instead.

She nibbles down the side of your neck, biting down a little more than usual. Her tongue glides over one of your growing hickies, now turning a deeper shade of maroon and purple. You moan in response, forgetting to hold it back.

"Let's use our words now.", Mizu coos, adding another digit deep inside of you.

modern!mizu would most prob be a dom/switch

a little more switch than dom

but mainly a service dom

as long as the both of u are feeling pleasure, she will always love it

if u request modern!mizu something, she will try her hardest to make u feel good

one time, u were curious ab edging

u have heard of the term but never experienced it

mizu had heard ab it through taigen and his stupid rants ab his situationships

u were in for quite a wild night

“Hey baby?”, you asked.

Mizu hummed next to you, scrolling through Tiktok.

The thought of edging was relatively new. You heard about the idea at one of your lecture classes, where a girl was talking with her friends about how her situationship did that to her. You heard many specific details, maybe too many, for a 9:00 lecture.

However, one thing stood out to you: she had the most deepest, amazing orgasm. According to her, at least.

“Do you know what edging is?”, you question, letting the curiosity get the best of you.

Mizu turned to face you. Shocked at your question, she closes and puts down her phone.

“Who told you what that was?”, she asked.

Your eyes widen.

Was it something mean?

“Why? Is it something bad?”, you say in a concerned tone.

Mizu breathily laughs. She wraps her arm around your side, pulling you closer under the sheets.

“No no, I just wasn’t expecting that kind of question.”

“So what is it?”, you persist, still curious about the idea. You watch her eyes quickly dart away from your gaze.

“Uhm…”, Mizu’s face slightly flushes, biting the outer corner of her lower lip. “It’s when you get really close, but then you never finish. At least that’s how Taigen explained it.”

Your mouth shapes into a little ‘o’.

“It’s supposed to make you finish on ‘a different level’. I didn’t really understand it but-“

“Should we try?”, you boldly ask.

The details of the girl’s experience from the lecture rung in your head: mind-blowing, amazing, earth-shattering. The list could go on. That girl could talk for hours.

Mizu cocked her eyebrow, immediately surprised by the invitation. She didn’t deny it though. As disgusting as Taigen described his experience, it intrigued Mizu. Her mind started to dwell on the thought: your legs trembling and shaking under her, your moans and squirming, the volume of your cries...

The idea of you screaming her name lit a bulb in her head.

Out of nowhere, she pulls you underneath her. Mizu rests her hand by your face to cup your cheek. Her thumb caresses your right cheek, lightly grazing your lips. You look up to meet her eyes: a deep ocean blue darkened with lust. They glance down and quickly look back up to meet your gaze.

Mizu gets closer to you, slightly tilting your head to whisper close to your ear.

"Let's try.", she whispers. You feel her lips plant kisses along your neck, feeling it tickle and tease you.

"Now?", you stammer as Mizu continues down your neck, gently lifting under your pajamas. You feel her hand lift the fabric and palm one of your breasts. You groan as Mizu's thumb grazes over your nipple, hardening under your touch.

Mizu scoffs. "Do you not see yourself right now?", she states as she inches closer to your heat, now aching for her touch.

Blush starts to form on your face. Mizu knew how to turn you on, but you've never seen her so quick with it.

With one hand busy toying with your breasts, Mizu inches her other hand down towards your soft cotton panties. Her fingers slide down from the edge, feeling your curves and valleys. She stops at your entrance and feels the change of the fabric, drenched with your juices.

You hear her chuckle into the crook of your neck. "Do you not feel yourself right now?", she teases, her voice almost deepening as she continues to palm your wet spot.

"Not until now- Mizu!", you yelp. You feel her finger tuck under the fabric, now directly touching your pouring wet mess. She lowers her hand and enters, enveloping her fingers with your fluids.

Your head knocks back as you take a deep breath in. Half of your mind was already in another dimension, getting lost in the pleasure. The other half was still present in bed but slowly losing itself with every thrust Mizu made. You aren't even close to finishing and you're already losing your mind.

You feel her finger pull out, making you feel empty inside. She tugs your panties off and shifts closer to your lower half. You feel your lower half face her mouth. It doesn't take long for you to feel full once again as she plunges two digits into you.

You moan in response. You feel them gain speed, tickling the tip of your cervix. She puts those long, slender fingers to good use. Busy with feeling of your insides getting fucked out, you fail to forget about the feeling of Mizu's tongue lapping up any liquids coming out of you.

She continues to do so, her tongue gliding along the sides of your entrance. Mizu licks up, lightly licking the tip of your clit. A jolt of pleasure shoots up in your head.

"Ah, fuck me Mizu!", you yell into the pillow. Her pace continues to inch deeper into your gushing wet caves. To Mizu's surprise, they easily pull in and out of you, making a squelching noise every time she pushes a little bit deeper.

"I am, don't worry.", Mizu coos. She continues to lap at your clit, circling it every so often. With one hand inside of you, she wraps her other arm around your leg. She feels the warmth of your inner thigh touching her cheek, heating her up as she continues to work on you.

You feel her fingers slightly curl, brushing the rough ceiling of your insides. Instinctively, your hips buck against her mouth & fingers. She groans and gets back to it, tightening her grip on your leg.

The feeling of her fingers continuously touching your sensitive spot sent you to madness. Your hips continue to buck only to be constricted by Mizu's arm. At this point, you are attempting to find any way to move your hips, practically grinding on her face. Gaining speed towards your climax, you try to ride her fingers with her thrusts. In an attempt to chase your nearing orgasm, your moans grow louder. But it is to no avail.

Mizu notices the way your walls start to rhythmically tighten around her fingers. She pulls back her tongue and slowly pulls out her fingers. She feels your liquids drip down her digits, slowly pooling by her palm.

"Is my pretty girl close?", she teases.

Fuck, she brought out that pet name.

You feel her breath an inch away from your throbbing wet entrance, almost teasing your release.

"Y-Yes. Please let me finish. I'm so close.", you beg. Your hips try to grind on something, anything. Without thinking, you aim to feel her lips with yours to feel some kind of pleasure. Instead, you pathetically grind on the bottom half of Mizu's face, covering it with your juices.

Mizu shakes her head, smiling deviously at your attempt.

"Not yet baby. Wait a bit."

Her hands don't shift back to their original position. Instead, you feel them wrap around your thighs and squeeze against Mizu's face. You look down to view Mizu smiling angelically. Yet her actions proved others: downright devious.

modern!mizu doesn't enjoy doggy as much as she enjoys missionary

but it allows her to grab onto your ass and waist and squeeze u closer to u

it lowk highkey makes her go crazy when yall r doing doggy and she sees ur reflection in the mirror

yeah she can hear ur moans and see ur beauty from the back

but to be able to get a view of ur reaction thru the mirror too omg…

You hear the bathroom door open only to find Mizu, strapped on. Beforehand, you had just been making out post-shower and getting ready to go to bed. That was until someone (cough cough Mizu) started caressing your side and touching under your pajama top.

She gets close to you, her hands caressing your hips. Mizu faces you and places soft kisses on your lips, trailing down to your neck. Her lips make work towards the back of your neck as she flips you behind. You look into the mirror as you feel her hands tighten their grip on your hips.

Mizu meets your gaze, grinning at your stare.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ma be nice.”, she reassures, entering a finger into your dripping entrance.

“Fuck-“, you curse. You feel her middle finger gain pace, only to pull out mid-pleasure.

Before you can even complain, you feel her cock poke at your entrance. Its length now covered with your silky fluids. She slowly pushes into your cavern, gripping your hips tighter.

You moan into the mirror. You watch as your knuckles turn white, gripping tightly from the light pain. You check in the mirror to watch Mizu’s reaction. You feel her slowly inch closer inside you, stretching your insides.

A cry escapes your mouth. Her rhythm slowly starts, back and forth. Every inch deeper inside you was a signal of pleasure going straight to your pain.

As for Mizu, she was watching how good you were taking her cock. She sees it slowly enveloping it inside of you, getting coated with all your fluids. She fully thrusts all the way in to the hilt to hear another cry.

And you do cry in response. Right into the mirror. Your reaction perfectly laid out in front of the mirror for Mizu to witness.

“God, you’re taking it so well tonight.”, Mizu complimented, her pace quickening. She glances at the mirror again to see your reaction in the reflection: Your eyes glimmering, filled with pleasure. Your mouth is still swollen, cherry red, from making out earlier. Your cheeks also match the same shade, flushed from the stimulation. God, you looked beautiful.

You feel her enter you again, her hips meeting yours. Mizu’s hands tighten their grip, prepping herself.

You moan loudly as she continues to pound into you. You feel her length roughly enter you, filling you whole. Instinctively, you yelp into the mirror. You try to say something to Mizu. But with every thrust, you fail to form a complete sentence. Your attempt at communication left you mumbling.

Embarrassed, you put your head down against the bathroom countertop. The cold surface felt refreshing against your heated cheeks. However, that only lasted for a moment.

Mizu, still mesmerized by your lower half, checked on the reflection to find your face missing. Instead, it was hiding against the countertops. She slow down her thrusts to an agonizing pace.

“Y/N,”, she called. You respond to her call and looked up into the mirror. “Lemme see that pretty face of yours again.”

You bring your face up to the mirror and look at her through the reflection. She smiles contently and gives your back a kiss.

“Good girl.”

She returns to her original rhythm, fast and deep inside you. You could only moan and cry in front of the mirror, letting your reaction be shown by Mizu. Her cock began to graze the ceiling. Your moans grow louder in response.

As Mizu watches you crumble under her through the mirror, she shifts her hands to your cheeks. Her hands massage them softly and watch them ripple with every thrust inside of you. Mizu grabs both cheeks to spread them apart, gaining a better view of your dripping wet entrance.

“Ah, Mizu!”, you respond. She thrusts in again, hitting a deeper, sensitive angle.

Mizu heard you yell in response and coordinates with the angle. A part of her wishes she could truly feel you inside: to feel your insides squeeze her and envelop her with your juices, to fully feel you orgasm as she’s still inside you fucking you out.

She continues to pound into the same sensitive angle, grabbing onto the sides of your cheeks for some stability. You, on the other hand, feel a twist in your lower stomach start to form. The stimulation, the angle, the way she was grabbing you: it was all coming together.

Your back shoots up, arching up with every thrust. You could no longer hold back any noises and let yourself go. The bathroom walls echoed with your moans, along with the rhythmic slapping from Mizu’s thrusts.

“I’m- ah!”, you feel Mizu get closer to your back as her right hand starts to gently palm your clit, circling the outside perimeter.

“M’so close, Mizu- fuck!”, you say as you look into her gaze through the reflection: her breath heavy, her eyes so dark that the blue reflect like diamonds. Holy fuck.

Her fingers continue to circle your clit, rubbing st s faster pace. The knot tightens and tightens, until you feel her hit the deepest spot, barely touching your cervix. At that point, you let everything go: the knot, the counter, your tight grip on her cock.

You cry as your legs try to spread apart. Your hips attempt to ride out the orgasm, only to be helped by Mizu as her cock goes in and out. You moan out her name as she lets go of your lower half and starts peppering kisses up your spine. She gentle caresses your hips and slowly pulls out.

Liquid gold starts to seep out. Mizu watches as the strap on glimmer under the bathroom lights. You turn the face her, also mesmerized by its shimmer.

(idk if i covered this already but whatever)

modern!mizu’s ideal aftercare is washing up with hot cup of tea and in bed cuddling

rewinding and relaxing afterwards never felt so comforting until u came around

typically, she’ll let u choose the tea of the nicht

but if ur tired out, she can pick up and do the work for u

a few soft kisses here and there

as long as u feel comforted, shes at peace