#the brainrot is so real and i see them everywhere i go

[thelemonsqueezr]

saw a thing on twitter and well... you know i had to do it to 'em

[mattslolita]

꒰ older bf!matt sturniolo ꒱ ⟡ headcanons !

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝

𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓!𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅!𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅…

love showing his affection for you, whether it'd be little forehead kisses or holding your hand, he always shows you affection.

he loves giving you gentle rubs along your back, and his hand is always on your thigh comfortingly everywhere you go.

when his hand isn't intertwined with yours, it's in the back pocket of your jeans or on your waist above your little miniskirt.

𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓!𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅!𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅…

spoil the fuck out of you.

when you're out shopping or at the mall and he sees the way your eyes will roam longingly over a certain top or some pretty stockings, he's instantly putting them in your cart.

he never lets you pay for your own stuff. he's a rich youtuber, there's no way he's not gonna smother you with gifts or whatever you want.

"matt, it's okay i can pay-"

"relax doll, don't you worry your pretty little head about paying. you know i'm gonna pay regardless."

𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓!𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅!𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅…

do random acts of dominance, always showing you that he was in charge.

he'd open doors for you, bend down to tie your shoes for you, have an almost death grip on your waist when you were out in public.

give any man who even looked your way a death glare and if he felt necessary he'd go as far as to start a fight if needed.

be so possessive. you're his girl.

𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓!𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅!𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅…

be there to comfort you when you were feeling down.

he'd wipe away your tears and hold you close as you told him about whatever was saddening, frustrating, or angering you.

if you were on your period, he's instantly bringing home some pain medicine, chocolates, and whatever snacks you want.

"i'm at the store right now angel, whatcha in the mood for?"

"can you please bring me some hershey's kisses? and i want oreos, too."

"anything for you, sweetheart."

𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓!𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅!𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅…

make you his number one priority, literally dropping anything he's doing just to make sure you're okay.

if you called about being sick, he's bringing you medicine. when he gets home to you, he'll give you a massage if you request one.

if you needed a ride anywhere, best believe you're his passenger princess! his hand will rub soft circles on your thigh as you ride around with him.

"can you pick me up from sasha's at around twelve?"

"of course sweetheart, just call me when you're ready."

"i love you baby, i'll see you later!"

𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓!𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅!𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅…

call you all these cute pet names — 'sweetheart', 'doll', 'angel', 'princess,' 'pretty girl'.

he'd have a special one he calls you, one that reminds him of you because of your style and the clothes you wear, always prancing around in your grey or pink mini skirts with little ribbons lining your hair, you reminded him of a snow bunny.

"matt please, i miss you! can we stay like this for a little longer?"

"c'mon bunny, you know I have to work. i'll make it up to you tonight, alright sweet girl?"

"i'll be waiting!"

𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓!𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅!𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅…

take his time while pleasuring you — he's all about taking care of you first, making sure he does you right.

"fuck, you feel so good, matt..."

"yeah? my tongue makin' you feel good, angel? cum for me."

he uses his older age to his advantage, always telling you how much he wants to ruin your innocence while he's fucking you in missionary.

"fuck, you feel so good squeezing my cock. such an innocent girl, didn't know you could be so dirty..."

"i'm gonna ruin you princess, this sweet ass pussy belongs to me."

"look me in my eyes sweet girl, need to see you when i fuck my seed inside of you."

lil 💌

older!boyfriend!matt brainrot is too real i fear.

@luverboychris @muwapsturniolo @prettiest-poision @mattsturniolosleftnut @mrssturnioloo @guccifrog @junnniiieee07 @astrowh0r3 @v33angel @ilovechrissturniolo1 @e1ias3 @l0akkzz @hysteria-things @eyeliketoeatpoosay @sturn777 @stasiesturn @prettypinkprincess15 @breeloveschris @summerssover @mayhem-72 @riasturns @chrissturniolossidehoe @moonk1ss3d @v33angel @h3arts4harry @stargirll567 @bitchydragonparadise @heartsforchrisandmatt @pepsienthusiasts @tillies33ssss @thenickgirl @sturnprime @summerssover @k4di333 @pinksturniolo @middlepartmatt

[pecancobbler]

cg ! viktor headcanons (arcane/lol)

— im being overtaken by brainrot help me !!!! i might do silco next js bc he's so dad 2 me :) but umm lemme know if u want more :3 !

-> cw: brief /neg disability talk

ARCANE ♡

☆ cg ! viktor that brings you along everywhere, it would be annoying if you weren't so well-behaved while he does his work. having your own spot next to his workbench, maybe even a couch that you end up dragging him to so you can take naps together

☆ cg ! viktor who ends up with his cane being sticker-bombed the moment he falls asleep, waking up to you curled up next to him and his cane covered in little stickers and painted fingerprints from your impromptu arts n' crafts

☆ cg ! viktor who is frustrated with being unable to carry you like a baby, having to settle for you being on his lap. majority of your weight on his better leg, heating pad on his bad one in case if it becomes too much

☆ cg ! viktor who can only fall asleep easily when you're small, feeling like he's successfully taking care of you. sprawled out on the labs couch with your head tucked under his chin, jayce having to throw a blanket on you guys before leaving

☆ cg ! viktor who ends up having to stitch stuffies back up, making play surgeries for you to watch so you can see that they're still ok. finding perfect threads to match them, or finding ones to stand out against the fur to make cute patterns in the stitching

LEAGUE OF LEGENDS ♡

☆ cg ! viktor who deems you as perfection already, not minding any of your big or little emotions and accepting that as something he can't change. modeling certain creations after you, making some to help regulate bigger emotions he doesn't understand

☆ cg ! viktor who ends up buying way too many parenting books, his logical scientist brain wanting to know every single way he can help you and better himself. perfecting the way he talks to you, once so rigid now gentle and soothing

☆ cg ! viktor who carries you around easily, tossing you over his shoulder like a sack o' potatoes while the hexclaw steadies you. pretending to not hear you when you squeal and bang on his back to let you down, only releasing you when you say the magic words

☆ cg ! viktor who can only be pulled out of his lab by you, staying in it almost day and night until you paw at his shoulders until he caves. letting you drag him around with no real fight, making sure to not go limp with his augmented body to not weigh you down

☆ cg ! viktor who lets you carve little doodles into his robotic arms, making sure you don't hurt yourself with any sharp objects as you do so. encouraging you to doodle all you want, reassuring that he can't truly feel it anymore as you carve a little "[name] was here ^•×•^" on his bicep

[naebaetwsog]

「・RIIZE as your boyfriend°×

genre.Fluff

warning.Ot7(ig that’s a warning??)

pairing.Bf!Rii7e x fem!reader

note.If I say that I was crying writing this, and I was also crying while choosing the cover photo, I really miss our 03liners. Anyways, this is my fist riize fic, reminder that you can request other groups too!!

Shotaro

Your #1 fan, personal hype man, and ultimate softie. You are his literal baby—no exceptions. He spoils you endlessly, never showing up empty-handed on dates, always surprising you with little gifts. If you’re apart, he demands FaceTime calls at night, whining, “I can’t sleep without your presence…” Your personal space? Doesn’t exist. His clothes are now yours, and he loves seeing you in them. Dancing everywhere, even in the grocery store? Mandatory. You don’t know how? He doesn’t care—he’s twirling you around anyway. He showers you with compliments 24/7, making sure you never forget how much he loves you.

Eunseok

Cool and composed? Only with others. With you, he’s a total softie. But make no mistake—he’s crazy overprotective. If someone so much as glances at you the wrong way, he’s already cursing their ancestors. He spoils you without hesitation; you don’t even need to ask—just look at something, and it’s yours. You are not safe from his dad jokes, though. You could be in the middle of cuddling, and he’ll drop the corniest joke, leaving you groaning while he laughs at his own humor. He loves making you mad just because he thinks you’re adorable when you pout.

Sungchan

Simp? Understatement. You say sit, he sits. You say jump, he jumps. Honestly, he’s barking for you. Just thinking about you puts him in heart-eyes mode. Everyone knows how much he loves you—he makes sure of it. Someone stares at you for too long? He’s ready to throw hands. His personal space? Doesn’t exist when it comes to you. He even holds your hand when you go to the bathroom “What if you get kidnapped?!”. One week into the relationship, he’s already talking about marriage. But don’t be fooled—he will tease you, especially about your height, and be the most annoying boyfriend ever in the best way possible.

Wonbin

Mysterious? Only to strangers. With you? He’s a full-on clingy baby. If he’s not glued to you in some way, he’s simply not functioning. He spoils you to no end, handing you his credit card before you even ask. His clothes are automatically yours, and your mood? His mood. If you’re upset, he feels it. He’s confident, but still gets jealous—even though he’s literally one of the most handsome men alive. He tries to play it cool, but the moment someone gets a little too friendly, he’s suddenly extra affectionate, pulling you closer and reminding everyone that you’re his.

Seunghan

Simp Pt. 3. He’s obsessed with you in the most wholesome way. Personal space? What’s that? You’re never alone—if you turn around, he’s right there. Matching outfits every day, not negotiable. He only has eyes for you; no one else even exists in his world. He expresses his love in a million small ways, from adjusting your scarf in the cold to remembering your favorite snacks. If you’re feeling down, he drops everything to comfort you, whispering how much he loves you and will always be by your side.

Sohee

He tries to act all cool and manly, but let’s be real—he’s a total softie when it comes to you. He’s not big on physical affection, but he needs some part of him touching you at all times—whether it’s a pinky linked with yours or his foot brushing against yours under the table. Instead of physical touch, he expresses love through acts of service and words of affirmation. Good morning and good night texts are a daily routine. He surprises even himself by being the first one to say, “I love you.”

Anton

The biggest simp of them all. His brain is permanently on “reader brainrot” mode. If he’s not thinking about you, he’s making memes about you. You have so many inside jokes that one look from him can make you both burst out laughing. He always gives you his oversized hoodies because you look ridiculously tiny in them, and he lives for it. Spoils you way too much, especially if you’re into collecting cute things (“One more Sunny Angel won’t hurt…”). The way he adores you is unreal—he just wants to make you the happiest person alive.

[sugardollcurse]

may i request any headcanons of the boys with an s/o who's a novelist (a paperback writerrrrr 📚📚)? like a professional, agatha christie / stephen king level of fame writer??

𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑙𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎 𝑛𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑛𝑒𝑟

𐙚 note ; you’re feeding me gourmet with this one. I YEARN FOR THIS TO BE ME!! anyway here’s your big fat author/beatle brainrot platter xx

𓆩🕊️ john 𓆪

"You’re fucked in the head, love. Proper bent. It’s brilliant. No, I mean it!"

He reads everything you write.

Not always in the right order. Not always fully awake. Often drunk.

But he reads it and then won’t stop quoting you at breakfast like

“Y’wrote, ‘her mouth bloomed red as a crushed hibiscus.’ What the fuck’s a hibiscus?"

Calls your books “brain films.” Always pestering you to explain the weird bits, then getting mad when you do.

“Ugh no, don’t say it was metaphorical! It’s better when it’s fuckin’ spooky!”

Doodles potential book covers for you. Usually gruesome or obscene.

You’re like “this is a love story, John.”

He’s like “yeah, and love is fucked, so here’s a bleeding heart on fire.”

If someone ever disses your work in the press, he will threaten to mail them dogshit.

Did it once. He’s not proud, but he’s not sorry.

Tells people you’re smarter than him. Brags about it.

“They've got the brain, I’m just the dickhead with a guitar.”

He means it. Loves it.

𓆩🕊️ paul 𓆪

"Y’know, I told John... I told him, you've got that mad brain. Mad in a good way. Real twisty. It’s lovely, isn’t it?

He absolutely carries your books around with the title facing out like a proud mum with a school prize ribbon.

Always in his jacket pocket, signed of course, and he’s probably asked you to dedicate one to Paul, who gets to hear the saucy bits first.

Reads your work out loud to himself, dramatic voices and all. Adds his own little sound effects.

"BANG! And then she bloody caved his head in-oh, love, this bit’s ace.”

Calls you “me little paperback writer” constantly.

Never your name anymore. Even on the post-it notes he leaves on the kettle.

Will not shut up about you in interviews.

If you’re doing a signing, he will be there in sunglasses and a hat, pretending to be some rando fan, then causing a scene like,

“Oi! I shagged the author!”

Smug bastard.

Can’t stop smirking whenever he sees someone reading your book on the tube.

Has a whole catalogued mental list of all the weirdest places he’s caught someone flipping your pages.

𓆩🕊️ george 𓆪

"I think it’s dead great, y’know, that you do all that with words. All that twisty mind stuff.

Devours your work. Reads slowly, thoughtfully, with a pencil in hand like he’s going to take notes on every metaphor.

His copies are dog-eared, underlined, highlighted.

Brings your books to the studio. Not for clout, just to have you close.

Opens to a favourite passage when he’s stuck on a lyric.

Says your writing is like music.

“It’s got rhythm, y’know? I can hear it.”

Likes watching you work. Sits across the room and just stares at you for hours while you’re typing.

You’re like “can I help you?” and he’s just smiling, shaking his head. “You’re making a whole world in there.”

He’s quiet about his pride but fierce. If someone talks over you in a panel or interview, he’ll pull them aside later and say things.

Very softly. Very firmly. They don’t do it again.

Asks thoughtful questions. Wants to know where your ideas come from.

Begs to write the score if one of your novels gets adapted into a film.

Gets way too into it.

Ruffles your hair after you meet a deadline. Calls you “my little storyteller” when you’re half-asleep on his chest. Makes you feel mythical.

𓆩🕊️ ringo 𓆪

"I dunno how y’do it, love. I can barely write a postcard. And there you are makin’ murder mysteries with Latin quotes. Fuckin’ hell."

Ringo’s your biggest hype man.

Brings your books everywhere.

Bar. Plane. Dentist.

He reads slow but with real heart.

Laughs out loud when something’s funny.

Gasps when a character dies.

He’s just really dramatic about it, basically.

Asks if he’s ever gonna be in one. “Y’could kill me off! I’d like that. Poisoned by me own drumsticks. Classic.”

Keeps your headshot from the back of your book on the fridge.

Kissed the corner once and claimed it was a joke. It wasn’t.

Once tried to write a page of his own as a surprise. It was mostly swear words and a lot of spelling errors. You loved it anyway.

If you ever have a book tour, he comes to every event he can.

Front row.

Buys his own copy from the shop like a fanboy.

His favourite thing is when you read him drafts at night. Lies in bed, hands behind his head, eyes half-closed. “Tell me a story, love.”

Thinks you’re a genius. Like, genuinely.

Makes it sound like the highest compliment in the world.

taglist: @sharksausages, @wavvytin, @wimpyvamps, @finallyforgotten, @lennongirlieee, @silly-lil-lee, @alanangels

[youryurigoddess]

Aziraphale, Raphael, and other angelic names you should probably know

Yes, I’m digging out my oldest piece of Good Omens meta. If you’re one of the very few people who might remember it from my main blog or had followed me on Twitter before it was shared there last year, you should already get the gist of what’s going to come next. For the rest of you, this might serve as a nice warning of how true brainrot begins.

We will start at the very beginning: the name-giving. Since God has created the world with one word, in the Bible and related Jewish tradition names of things are considered of great importance. As the life-givers, they imbue meaning and power to those who bear them, and often lead them towards a certain predetermined path. The concept of true names in general is a global phenomenon, with traces of this belief to be found everywhere from Plato's Theory of Forms through Grimm’s fairytales and beyond, not only in religious, but also philosophical and anthropological context. Considering the vast number of options to choose from, coining a new name instead of just repeating someone else’s is certainly a choice.

Unsurprisingly, the one who came up with the name Aziraphale was Terry Pratchett, and according to an interview it was originally pronounced Aziraphael:

“It should be Azz-ear-raf-AE-el, but we got into the habit of pronouncing it Azz-ear-raf-ail, so I guess that’s the right way now.”

Don’t worry, we’ll get there in a moment. The second thing you need to remember from this interview is Terry’s answer to the question about the name’s origin:

“It was made up but… er… from real ingredients. [The name] Aziraphale could be shoved in a list of ‘real’ angels and would fit right in…”

Conveniently, I’ve already explained who he was and why he was so important in Judaism in one meta discussion on Tumblr, so I’ll be lazy and copy-paste my thoughts and expand them to add some details from other Abrahamic religions.

Before the Beginning, or the Angel of Love

Long story short, Libbiel was one of the archangels working with God on the creation of humans. The idea was opposed by some of them, especially the Angel of Truth, who was promptly cast down from Heaven to Earth (but promised to spring back out of the Earth eventually, don’t worry).

Unlike Michael and Gabriel, Libbiel (“God is my heart”) warned his angelic troops to accept the Ineffable Plan in advance and saved them from the Fall, which granted him God’s recognition and a new name, Raphael, the Rescuer, appointing him as the Angel of Healing (“God has healed”).

This seems to check out within the Good Omens universe: Aziraphale was involved in the Earth creation project before the rollout and had enough access to the human plans to see them with his own eyes and share this knowledge with the angel that eventually became Crowley.

He also appeared extremely anxious at the very mention of Crowley’s obligation to dissent and wanted to save him from any negative consequences even at the cost of interrupting the conversation he’s been enjoying so much.

We’ve noticed some peculiar reactions of Aziraphale to any mentions or acts of love, right? They usually involve reaching out to Crowley and might either suggest his feelings toward him or how physically overwhelmed he is with the very concept of love (or both, actually).

Interestingly, one of the official titles of archangel Raphael is Angel of Love. In Christianity he is considered a patron saint of happy meetings, matchmaking and marriage, and his healing powers involve especially eyes and… heart, in the context of both mental health and human love.

Raphael also has a canonical (at least in Catholicism) episode of playing a human matchmaker on God’s behalf in the Book of Tobit, in which he appears on Earth under the disguise of a man named Azariah. Aziraphale seems now like an obvious portmanteau for Azariah, Raphael’s alias used while disguising himself as a human, and Raphael, the name given to him by God as a commendation. An archangel embracing some humanity of his own volition.

Raphael’s color is sometimes mentioned as light blue, exactly like the light Aziraphale emits in the S2 opening sequence, and his symbol is a serpent (the ancient Caduceus, but I feel like at this point we can call him Crowley).

The angelic couple, or Zophiel and Barachiel

Remember that bit of Terry’s interview about real ingredients? Raphael’s backstory already seems complicated enough, but what if Aziraphale had not one, but two angelic prototypes? I happen to know one more angel — a cherub said to possess great feminine energy — whose story rings some alarm bells.

This is Jophiel (“The Beauty of God”) or Zophiel (“My Rock is God”, “Widom of God”, “God’s Rage”), believed to be a companion to the angel Metatron, regent of the Principalities and leader of the Cherubim, a heavenly protector — one of the child amulet angels.

In Jewish tradition Zophiel takes on the role of the guardian of the Torah as well as other books and knowledge itself, based on the fact that he was the one to guard the Tree of Knowledge and, armed with a flaming sword, drive Adam and Eve out of Eden. He also watched over Noah and his family during the Flood and was serving as an assistant to King Solomon when he spoke on Wisdom and wrote the books of Proverbs, Wisdom, and Ecclesiastes. In the Anglican tradition he is recognized as an archangel and typically depicted with a fiery sword in hand. The color belonging to Zophiel is yellow.

Lynn Fischer in “Angels of Love and Light: The Great Archangels & Their Divine Complements, the Archeiai” (November 1996) describes Zophiel as one who

“stirs the feelings through radiation of illumination and into aspiration … help in absorbing information and studying for and passing tests; dissolution of ignorance, pride, and narrow-mindedness; and exposure of wrongdoing in governments and corporations. Jophiel helps in fighting pollution, cleaning up our planet, and brings to [hu]mankind the gift of beauty. He also provides inspiration for artistic and intellectual thought providing help with artistic projects and to see the beautiful things around us.”

While this angel is mentioned in other works of fiction, Zophiel makes his most notable appearance in John Milton’s epic poem, Paradise Lost, as the warrior “cherubim with the swiftest wings” in the battle of Heaven, where he was believed to assist Michael as the standard bearer. He’s presented as a spy returning from a reconnaissance mission to the rebel camp, much in the way Aziraphale had infiltrated Hell and fooled its demons in the wake of Armageddon’t.

As Zaapiel derived from Za’ap (Hebrew) meaning rage, anger or storm, he is also recognised as the angel of storms and, under the variant Zafiel, the angel of rain. This might be the reason why Zophiel is traditionally associated with the archangel of lightning and thunder, Barachiel (“God’s Blessings” or “Lightning of God”, especially when transcribed as Barakiel or Baraqiel) — to the point of being mentioned as his partner or consort.

Barachiel is the angel of lightning, but also — as the name suggests — blessings. In Catholic iconography he is usually depicted with a staff, a basket of bread, or a rose, each petal of which is representing a blessing from God, tossed out as the angel pleases to bless people. He is the chief of guardian angels, but in particular watches over young children, and sometimes takes on the task of delivering the blessing of offspring to prospective parents.

Like Zophiel is believed to have taught humans languages and wisdom found in books, Barachiel is commonly revered as the angel who taught them astrology, the wisdom of the stars.

Nothing lasts forever

Raphaelic legends aren’t all fun and games, but also mention the less marketed aspect of being an archangel: signaling the Day of Judgment. In Christianity, this is usually assigned as another one of Gabriel’s jobs, but he’s on the run right now, isn’t he? Well, good news! In Islam, Raphael is called Israfil or Israfel and believed to be the angel who blows the trumpet to signal Qiyamah, a counterpart of the Christian Second Coming, instead. The fact that Aziraphale has taken over Gabriel’s position in Heaven might be much less coincidental than some think.

And it’s important to remember that this power is not only destructive — while the first blow will kill all creatures and creations, the second one will revive them and prepare for the Last Judgment (yes, the very same one that in Christian belief will be administered by Jesus with the help of Book of Life). Very much in line of what Adam, the Antichrist, has done with the help of a certain shoulder angel and shoulder demon.

This is exactly the sentiment found in the poem “Israfel” by Edgar Allen Poe. In a material world nothing is meant to last forever, which is a curse and a blessing. A curse because it means death and destruction; miracles may sustain a certain bookshop in its current form through millennia, but as a tombstone to the life they led instead of a home it once used to be. A blessing, because it also means change and a new beginning — as long as there’s enough life force to replace whatever is lost in the process.

Nothing on Earth lasts forever, but we should use it for inspiration, savor momentary bliss, and hold it in our hearts. Only Heaven and the passions of its angels (fallen or not) are truly eternal.

And we can expect at least two of them to keep loving each other beyond the human concept of time, perhaps in a nice cottage on the South Downs.

[hyunsvngs]

SQUIRTRACHA!! aka chan minho hyunjin and jeongin who would prob be the most determined to make you squirt. andjskjdkssjksk the brainrot is real. and theyd pull out ALL the tricks. flicking and sucking your nipples, rubbing your clit, EDGING 😖 and probably just lots and lots of orgasm denial. all in an attempt to get you to squirt for them <3

I SO AGREE.

UNDER THE CUT BC THIS GOT SO LONG!!!

i think with chan it would be such a deep, carnal desire for him… i can just imagine him discovering it one day when he’s watching porn and he’s like “oh…?” when the female star’s orgasm gushes from her. from then on, he’s just thinking about how badly he wants to make someone do that… i can imagine the first time he gets you in bed it’s going through his brain, it’s ALL he can think about. immediately crooks his fingers up to your g spot in an attempt to get you to squirt.. you’re whining, telling him “it’s too much, channie, too much- i think i’m gonna pee, i’m-?”. chan’s shaking his head, soft curls bouncing in his face, “no baby, ‘s not pee. c’mon, let go for me.” ughhh and imagine the overstimulation when you do… poor baby just wants to make you soak him over and over.. he’s latching onto your nipples, thrusting his fingers back in straight away. i need him so bad

i think with minho it would be the complete opposite. he’d be edging you for what felt like forever. he’d have you perched in front of a mirror, legs splayed over his as he worked his fingers into you over and over. every single time you thought he may give it to you, let you have this orgasm - he pulled away, smacking your clit teasingly with a smirk. except, this time, he’s a bit too late - your orgasm floods from you, soaking the mirror as your eyebrows furrow together and jaw drops in a silent scream. you’re babbling “oh-! sorry, sorry, min! made a mess, oh-“ minho wouldn’t even show his surprise tbh, though he’s internally dying… he’d just smirk, saying “so fucking dirty, creaming for me everywhere like that, huh? can’t even be mad you came.” he’d definitely bend you over quickly and shove his thick cock in you until you’re doing it again. yum

hyunjin would have such a kink for just watching you cum. just seeing your eyes roll back with pleasure, clit throbbing and toes curling as you let go all for him, just for him. when he expressed his desire to make you squirt, you honestly weren’t surprised at all. you were surprised when he tried it later that same day - pulling out a nice, curved g spot vibrator to fuck you with. hyunjin would work you up so good, telling you “you’re so, so fucking beautiful”, and making you whine out. he’d suck hickeys into your neck, kissing down your body, laving over your tits until he was sure you were nice and wet for him… i think while minho, jeongin and chan would be the types to fuck you without abandon to get you to squirt, hyunjin would enjoy playing with your body like it’s a beautiful instrument. “there you go, feelin’ good?” he’d say as he pushed the soft silicone inside of you, and you’d nod, whimpering when the attachment brushes against your clit. he wouldn’t even fuck you quickly, just brushing his fingers over your nipples while he pumps it steadily in and out of you… before you know it, you’re cumming, not even able to warn him - juices gushing out of you and all over the vibrator and hyunjin’s hand. you’d be whining, “oh, hyunjin, ‘m- cumming, cum, shit, ‘s wet-“ and shiiit the smile he’d do… he’d be so fucking happy LOL he wouldnt even need to fuck you, he’d be satisfied at your own powerful orgasm.

ok jeongin…. i honestly think that when jeongin heard about squirting, he was astonished. he was like “PEOPLE CAN DO THAT????” and then he was like “nah. i don’t believe it.” just completely refusing it exists. until one day, you’re riding him and his cockhead is hitting your cervix just right. jeongin felt like he was going to die whenever he was inside you anyway, but today just felt different. you were warmer, wetter, tighter - even fucking louder as you writhed and bounced on him. “yeah, ah, ah, innie, so deep-“ you’d be whining, fingers digging into his stomach. just from your facial expression, lost in pleasure, jeongin would feel himself getting close - but you had to cum first. “you gonna cum? please, please,” he’d beg, leaning up to rub tight, precise circles on your clit. all of a sudden, the tightness of your hole is pushing jeongin’s dick out, and a gush of clear fluids is covering him. you’re in shock, eyes widening and moans tumbling out of your mouth - only worsened by jeongin cumming on his own stomach as you cover him. so yeah, he likes it. he still can’t believe it’s real tho tbh, even as he tries (and succeeds) to get you to do it over and over again.

i also think jisung would have an INTENSE squirt kink and idk if thats me projecting but he’s filthy SO IF U WANT ME TO ELABORATE LMK…

[heliumshorns]

NOT ME HAVING THE HONOUR OF BEING MUTUALS WITH ONE OF MY FAV WRITERS, HELLO?!?!?!?!?

anyways, i rlly can't stop thinking ab soft Gojo :(

just him getting super emotional while cuddling cus he's thinking ab just how much he adores and appreciates having someone in his life, who loves and sees him for who he truly is cus he's always just percieved as the strongest and not as Satoru </3 (Sugurus "Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru, or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest" HURTS)

it's just softness and fluff everywhere as he slowly traces his hands all over his lovers body; squeezing, caressing, tracing, overall just trying to get himself to believe: "You're here, you're real, i have you."

A tear leaving his eye as he makes eye contact with his love, and they kiss it away whilist caressing his cheeks and whispering sweet nothings into his ear, but also reassuring and reminding him that yes, you deserve to be more than a weapon, you deserve to be you.

I'm so emotional ab him :((, this can also count as a request btw, i was mostly sharing brainrot cus im very much despising the jjk manga and am actively living in delusions :)

you can add some soft sex or keep it fluffy and bittersweet (if you wanna ofc, no pressure<3)

I fucking LOOOVE a soft Satoru I DONT CAREEEE

He's so adorable and it HURTS MEEE

(also, HI MOOT AND AHHHHH FAVOURITE WRITER??? I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED ANYTHING PROPER YET😭😭)

tiny drabble under the cut because HDGSHHSHSH

(i didn't write smut but I am planning on working with that 😩)

The way his gentle eyes meet yours isn't enough to put into words. Or maybe it's too much. Words are complicated sometimes.

So it's understandable why Satoru doesn't speak when he gets home like this. Tired. Exhausted. Feeling like his headache is so bad not even a box of panadol can fix. Hell, he feels the pain in his soul.

But the second your soothing voice reaches his ears, it's like all of the turmoil is gone. The world reduces itself to the warmth of your skin and the smoothness of your voice. It becomes the simple moments of intimacy, where you just hold him to soothe his six eyes.

Where they can all, truly, fall shut and rest.

Like a safe space of some sorts. With your careful hands caressing his hair as you both lay, cuddling, all of the lights out. No music. No noise. Just your shared breathing, and heartbeats. How his hands rest on your back, his full weight on top of you, hair tousled and messy. His breaths deep and slow, making him slowly melt more and more into your embrace.

With gentle words and gentler touches.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too, my love."

Even being called that makes tears prickle his eyes. My love. Not Satoru. Not Gojo. Not the strongest nor a weapon. Just... someone. A random guy, who met the most amazing person, and just happens to be loved. It's like when he's with you, all worries vanish. You're the calm to his storm.

Even if it isn't visible.

That's the funny thing about storms, right? If you're in the eye of the hurricane, you won't notice until you open your eyes. And he, sadly, has six of them to remind him how he's constantly fighting for his life.

Sadly, some people are born to fight. His heart yearns for the gentleness of a lover, and his body is used to fight the toughest battles. All while putting up the facade that he's the strongest. As if being referred to as such doesn't hurt him more than anyone can. Words, sadly, go through his infinity.

Something he absolutely turns off whenever near you.

It's like you manage to calm even the deepest, most obscure parts of his brain. You make him forget instinct. When he's in your arms, he doesn't need to protect himself from anything. He's safe. Your lips to his dampened cheeks that serve as a reminder that maybe he does deserve love. He deserves to not having to be The Strongest all of the fime.

"Such a funny thought to wrap you up in cloth

Do you find it all right, my dragonfly?"

HE DIDN'T DESERVE ITT WHAT THE FUUUUUCK HE JUST WANTED TO BE HAPPYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAH

[skekthesilly]

OSC BRAINROT 3:

one of my friends is part polish. they told me this today and it took me ALL OF MY WILLPOWER not to burst out cackling and go LIAM PLECAK

like. not all polish people are liam plecak, skek. you need to get this obsession under control. its been 84 years. your family misses you, skek. you keep babbling about backpacks and bottles, skek. you need to

every single thing i see has a face. i keep seeing my classmates as objects. the desks have faces and are staring at me as i do my work. my backpack keeps wailing about sticky notes. i dont have any sticky notes. every time i draw, i keep drawing them. the objects. no matter what i draw they end up with stick-thin limbs and cartoony faces. they end up as objects, every single one of them. i'm becoming a quote machine, a broken record. i keep saying the same things, over and over and over and over and over again. "making cakes without recipes is as bad as making cakes with two! metal! balls!" "my name is clock! thing that you tell the time- oh wait my name is not an acronym." "thank you for saving me! i was so thirsty... i was so-" "you cis white male scum. i can't believe youre only attracted to the opposite gender. im calling the police. police? we have some MEN here. oh my god, we're dealing with real sickos guys. gets run over." every day i say those things. no matter what happens. i don't even need a reason now. i just need to remember.

it's maddening. my life is being consumed by the objects. my organs have faces. my skin watches me. my limbs wail in anguish. they yearn for the voting results, skek. which one will get eliminated early? god im actually going insane.

god? there is no god here. only gods. only pins and needles, brushes and bulbs, tacos and tablets. only objects that aren't objects, numbers and letters and creatures and animals and humans and things that are objects, objects, objects despite them being so far from it. they are objects, and they have never been anything else.

we love these objects. cherish these objects. we made shrines and murals and statues in their figures, in their names. we became these objects, became the ones we loved so dearly, care so deeply for.

people call us "object show fans." many speak our names with confusion. "object show fans?"

others speak our names with taunting. "object show fans!"

some speak our names with disgust. "object show fans."

but they all call us fans. fans? when have we crossed the line from simple fans to worshippers? when have we crossed the line from enjoyers, simple indulgers, to ravenous creatures?

we aren't merely fans anymore. no, once you let the objects into your life you aren't just a fan. they take over your life. they appear everywhere. they aren't just one show, one thing. they are a genre. they are rapidly spreading and all-consuming. they are popular but obscure, yet a few happenings have let us tear our membranes and leak into a wider world. we are everywhere. we want everywhere. we aren't just fans anymore.

we are going insane. help me

[kidsinsaturn]

OMG HIII! I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU HAVEN'T ABANDONED THIS BLOG. YOU'RE LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CREATORS HERE.

I hope that your life has been well so far and sorry for my little outburst of joy.

I'm really looking forward to your new posts but please don't stress yourself about it.

Have a lovely day

boyfriend obito headcanons

[🗼] just because I've been feeling a bit silly about this little guy, and I know I already have hcs of him but,,, it's not enough

and YESS I may have been off for a year but i'll always have that annual Naruto brainrot that lasts like six months lool but thank you lots anon love yaaa

character: obito uchiha

genre: sfw; fluff; nsfw

warnings: gn!reader; established relationship; silly obito; everyone happy au bc uwu; mention of insecurities; slight size kink

..

..

..

-god, obito has been in my mind lately, and how could he not? he is sooo boyfriend material, he created the basic rules for a relationship to work, he is basically the creator of love

-he is just so silly at the beginning of your relationship!! like!! as if kakashi wasn't the reason you two got together because obito couldn't just go and confess to you!! are you nuts?? he'd lose it

-speaking of which, his confession was probably so messed up, but!! he didn't want to, wouldn't allow you to confess because he has that idea that it should be him who brings the relationship to a start

-"may I have the honor of being your boyfriend?" type of guy

-he literally asks everyone for advice and that's probably how you ended up knowing his feelings. obito told everyone and his friends just passed the word until it landed on you

-regardless of that messy start--obito will remember it and feel bad about it until the day he dies--, obito is a great boyfriend, like I said, he is a bit silly and the thing is, he may have idealized relationships too much

-obito may have watched all those stupid cliche movies in secret and thought that's how relationships are supposed to work!!

-would get into a fight for you, write you love letters, plan a secret date. any situation that appears on the kissing booth movies he is so willing to recreate them lol

-obito believes there is no such thing as the "3-month honeymoon phase" LIKE all the time, all the months, all the SECONDS he is with you should be honeymoon phase. only to be reinforced once you two get married

-of course it is beautiful and everything he does makes your stomach flutter with joy-- he is a gentleman ALWAYS, he holds the door for you, steps in first if it's a new place, and goes behind you everywhere

-and ok this is a bit angsty im sorry but this silly dude right here is very insecure okay:( I gotta be real here

-he didn't have a lot of recognition when he was a little boy and that may have messed him up a little. he will always feel like he is not enough for you, and that may cause some arguments sometimes

-he just says that you are too much for him and that he doesn't provide you that much and you're just like obito please go to sleep it's 4am

-and that's the tiring part probably: that he has these random bursts of self-consciousness at the most random times. you two are just eating and talking about some things your friends did, and oh obito just got this tight tug at his chest the second he thinks too much about your or his male friends. or even if he just saved you in a mission or whatever and it takes him like three business days to realize that he could have done a better job at rescuing you

-just be thoughtful with him ok because he seems the kind of guy that goes to sleep thinking about everything you said, nice or rude. overthinking king

-aside from his little insecurities heheh obito is giving you princess treatment like always and duhh if he doesn't do it, he beats himself up. obito has some "traditional ideas" about boyfriend and girlfriend, such as the woman should always receive flowers, never go alone in the street, and always have something of him with her (like a picture hahah silly boy)

-if you're into something like a sport or ballet or just something that's similar to a performance, he will be there at EVERY show or game, he will not miss any of them, and the day he is not there, that's probably because he is dead

-he is there holding the largest and most obvious poster with your face on the middle and the most Tumblr phrase he could think of. he blocks the view from the people in the back but he does NOT care

-if you are into something more private, obito will always be so happy providing your with materials and just his sweet time watching you as the most marvelous creature the gods ever created

-he always has the best intentions for everything. if something goes the wrong way, he is so devastated. say that you have too much work/paperwork/homework lately and he just wants to relieve some stress off your shoulders!! poor baby just made things worse: everything is on the wrong place and just his help wasn't helpful. obito feels stupid and dumb. he ends up cooking you something

-obito has all the love language because mmm his partner should feel loved in all the possible ways. just give him quality time and that's enough for him

-but overall, great boyfriend, he is your number one fan, admires absolutely everything you do and when you're not looking, little hearts form in his eyes when he looks at you, he is just so smitten he might as well just ask you to marry him after three weeks of dating

nsfw ->

-man gets hard just by hugging you

-please do not make fun of his condition okay:( he was just sexually restrained as a teen, and just overall shy about anything that had to do with sexy times

-my own hot take but obito probably stayed virgin by choice. like he was desperately waiting for the one to lose his v-card with because otherwise he feels like he is betraying his true love

-and ohhhh obito has NO idea of the beautiful, marvelous, oozing body he possesses. he is big, strong, tall, thick, and just mmmmm

-the first time you mention somehitng about his physique, he gets all flustered!! if you were in the middle of the act, he would need two minutes to calm down or he will cum by just hearing sweet words

-beautiful dick OBVS, he doesn't know how to use it, lets be reals. if you are his first time, he is so messy. his movements are so asymmetrical and have zero rhythm. after a few times, he learns

-I can only dream about obito's cock PLEASE. large, thick, curved just the right way to make you squirm. just BIG. his dick just springs up every time he takes his pants off and it hits his abdomen in the most sensual way posible. cock possible as large as your head whaaat

-his pre-cum is so bitter!! the first time you tasted it, you made a face. his cum is even sourer. obito feels a bit bad but he understands and doesn't say anything

-you are literally what matters during those sexy moments. he does not allow himself to feel any pleasure before you. it takes you a lot (just kneeling) to give him a head

-please all your sounds should be moans, or whimpers, or small screams of satisfaction, because if he SEES, or hears, or just senses that he may have hurt you, he stops completely and doesn't touch you until you convince him you are fine

-king of aftercare

[fakegingerrights]

Bloody knees and bruised cheeks

[Crosshair brainrot go brrrrr. TW: Alcohol, bar fights, questionable attitudes towards cloning, blood and broken glass. And Crosshair being a flirt in his own way. Crosshair x gn!Reader]

“This seat taken, Sunshine?” The obviously drunk man’s breath hot on your cheek as he leaned in far too close for comfort.

“It is.” You bit back, glancing nervously at the bartender and hoping he’d get the creep off you. You knew your boyfriend had said he might be running late, but an hour and a half was pushing it.

“Well, I don’t see a name on it. Lemme buy you a drink.” The man cajoled, swirling his own cheap beer in his glass.

“I’m fine, thank you.” You leaned as far away as the barstool let you without tipping over. “I’m waiting for someone. And he wouldn’t like you hovering like this.”

“Is that a threat, Sweetcheeks?” The man growled, leaning even farther into your space. A cold voice snarled behind him, sending a ripple through you as you turned back to look at the newcomer.

“Yes.” Crosshair snarled, standing there in all his dusty and carbon stained, red and black armored glory as he placed himself between you and the drunk.

“That’s what you’re waiting for? A labgrown meat droid? I should take you home anyways and show you how a real man fucks.” The drunk slurred, lurching to his feet and squaring up to Crosshair. Cross didn’t budge, but you could tell he was too tired for this.

“She’s not going anywhere with you.” Crosshair’s voice was flat and cold, a hard promise. The drunk snarled, smashing his glass of half full beer against Crosshair’s pauldron, shattering it and sending shards everywhere. As soon as Cross was in the clear for self defense he grabbed the drunk and had him pinned on the bar.

“Care to-“

“Corascant guard is already on the way. Uh… sir.” The bartender fumbled, glancing at the bouncer for the bar. Crosshair grunted at the title. “We’ll take it from here if you want to take your girl home.” The barkeep offered. Even he could see the exhaustion in Cross’s shoulders.

“Great. Next time don’t let creeps get that close to an uncomfortable lady.” He hissed, passing the swearing drunk to a beefy looking zabrak. The greasy man took the opening and broke free, swinging wildly and connecting with Crosshair’s jaw just as he was turning away. As he did, you caught sight of a dripping red line cut into the side of his cheek just under his eye, presumably from the glass shattering.

He staggered but was quick to break the man’s nose and send him sprawling. The zabrakii bouncer got ahold of him now, pulling the drunk away.

Gingerly, you slipped your hand into Crosshair’s, getting his attention. “Let’s go home. Tonight’s a bust anyways. Unless you want to wait for the guard to get here and haul you to a hospital to patch your cheek up?” You murmured lowly, already knowing his answer and pulling towards the door before he even grunted a negative. There was a fine tremor in the very tips of his fingers as he tightened his grip on your hand.

The bar you two had planned to meet at for drinks was only a few blocks from your tiny shoebox of an apartment. Crosshair hissed and stepped away from you only a minute into your walk, shaking like a dog and sending residual splinters of glass tinkling to the ground.

“Bastard got glass in all the chinks of my armor. I’ll have to have Tech send it through a scrub cycle again.” He growled sourly. “Damn stuff got everywhere.”

“I can scrub it out when you get home. Call it a thank you for taking care of that guy.” You fumbled with the keys as he hovered behind you.

“I’m your boyfriend. That’s my fucking job.” Crosshair hissed softly, a hand finding your chin and lifting it so you met his eyes. He had taken his glove off to rid it of splinters. His hand was cool against your skin, fingers still trembling slightly in his exhaustion as he leaned down to press a kiss to your lips, nipping at them a little with a smug quirk of his mouth. He tasted like blood and ozone.

“My stars get a ROOM!” One of your helpful neighbors yelled from the apartment next to yours. You flipped them off without looking, dragging Cross inside and hardly even pausing the kiss.

His hand shifted from your jaw to curl protectively around your neck, the motion making you sigh into the kiss as you reach up to cup his cheek, only for him to hiss and pull away as your fingers meet the unpleasantly warm and tacky sensation of half dried blood from the cut on his cheek.

“Let’s get you out of your armor and blacks.” Your murmur, your voice slightly throatier than normal. At this close you could see the dark circles under his eyes and the rapidly darkening bruising along his jaw where he had been punched. He just grunted an affirmative as he fumbled with the catches, carefully removing each piece.

After he got all of it but his boots, there were several small shards even still that littered the floor. He took off the top of his blacks too, shaking the garment out. You gasped at the sight of bruised ribs and a row of neat stitches above his hip covered in thin medical film to keep them dry.

“It looks worse than it is.” Crosshair filled in the silence. He dropped the top of his blacks in the pile with the rest of his armor and gingerly flopped down on the couch, throwing an arm over his eyes as he sighs, tension slowly seeping out of his body as he relaxed.

“Don’t fall asleep yet, let me look at your cheek. And don’t get blood on that couch, it was my grandmother’s.” You call over your shoulder, grabbing a bag of frozen peas for his jaw and looking for the medistrips in the first-aid kit.

“Ah. So that’s why it smells like mothballs and old lady perfume.” He groused from his sprawled position.

“Har har har.” You rolled your eyes, catching his soft smile at the banter and grinning to yourself.

“I’m stealing your shower when I’m done.” He grunted, carefully sitting up and blinking as he took his arm off his eyes.

You sat on the tiny coffee/dining table in front of him, armed with a damp rag, first aid kit and your frozen vegetables. He took the peas and pressed them against his jaw, sighing at the contact as you dabbed at the bloody mess on the other side of his face.

“This is gonna sting a bit.” You warned as you doused a clean corner of the rag with hydrogen peroxide once you got the blood mostly cleaned up.

“When does it not.” Cross hissed rhetorically, his grip tightening on his knee as you cleaned the cut and made sure there was no glass embedded in his skin before carefully applying the medistrips and butterfly bandages you found. The cut wasn’t deep and you didn’t think it needed stitches, so it probably wouldn’t scar either.

“There you are. Now go shower, you smell like beer and a teen boy’s lockerroom.” You tease, helping him to his feet as he took the peas off his jaw, working it a few times to check for stiffness. Crosshair pouted at the insult but went, ducking into the small bathroom as you went through your drawers to come up with a pair of sweats and an oversized teeshirt for him to wear.

You knocked on the bathroom door before walking in, setting the clothes on the toilet glancing at Crosshair as he stood under the hot spray, rolling his neck appreciatively.

“You’re gonna send my water bill through the roof.” You tease, grabbing him a toothbrush and mint paste and passing it to him.

“That’s your fault, giving me access to the shower.” He snarked right back, sighing as he washed his hair, fingers combing through suds and silver curls. “Want to join me and make the most of it?” He offered, but you shook your head.

“Don’t think me joining will get you any cleaner. Might even do the opposite.” You wink as he rinses off again.

“Worth a shot.” He shrugged, turning the water off and motioning for a towel. You passed it to him with a fold exasperation as the two of you brushed your teeth and he got dressed, forgoing the shirt and toweling his hair off.

As you changed into nightclothes yourself and slipped into bed next to him, he seemed happy. Content. You pressed your face into the spot just above his sternum and sighed as one arm wrapped around you and the other tucked under his head, propping him slightly above you. You relaxed into the embrace, missing the words as they rumbled in his chest.

“What was that?” You mumbled sleepily, looking up at him.

“I said thank you.” He murmured right back, kissing your forehead. “And you’re out of conditioner.”

“Ass.” You accuse, snuggling closer.

“Proudly.” He agreed, a smile tugging at his lips. You were silent for a long moment and he almost thought you were asleep when you spoke up again.

“Why were you late?” You whisper into the darkness. Crosshair rumbles sleepily.

“Got jumped by vulture droids as we changed hyperspace lanes. Tech outflew them, as always.”

“And the mission?” You ask, listening to his slow heartbeat as he replies.

“Successful. Can’t say much else, unfortunately. Not sure when I leave again, before you ask.” He presses another kiss to your temple and tucks your head under his chin. “Go to sleep already, I’m tired.”

“Fine, fine.” You grumble. “Hey Cross? I love you.”

“I…” He paused, feeling stupidly off guard at the phrase even though you’ve said it a dozen times.

“I know.” You whisper, before he can doubt himself. “You don’t have to say it for me to know.”

“I love you too.” He whispered back, smiling sheepishly at the rush of elation and nerves he got even now every time he did. “I always will.”

[crowleysgirl56]

Hey fellow former Potterheads and current Good Omens obsessed fandom. Have you been looking for a new book series to replace Harry Potter in your life? Are you stupidly obsessed with Good Omens and see references everywhere? Then look no further than the Her Majesty’s Royal Coven series!

What if the government had a secret sanctioned department run by witches? Oh and witches and magic are real. And something super bad has been prophesied to happen involving demons and gods?

I’ve just finished reading the first book and it’s so great. Ultra feminist, all female characters, trans positive stories and characters, a twisting mystery, and action packed narrative. This series blows Harry Potter out of the water.

Where does Good Omens come in? Well there’s an ancient witch family with the surname Device. Scenes set in Soho. Ineffable is mentioned at least once. Fights with demons. And I had to highlight the following passages when I came across them:

Now admittedly the Crowley mentioned here is either Aleister Crowley, or potentially Zak Crowley (who has written a number of occult books).

And when Chinara says “Nothing lasts forever” I literally gasped out loud. #traumatised

You can’t tell me that maybe Juno Dawson was sprinkling in some references. Or maybe it’s a complete coincidence and my brain is just too full of brainrot? Who knows!

In any case, this is a great book and I’m really looking forward to reading the second (mostly because the first ends on a god damn cliffhanger!)

Join me in my next post where I’m going to share who my dream cast for the characters are, because this absolutely needs to be into a TV series (you know, instead of fucking rehashing Harry Potter again maybe).

(TW: transphobia. However there’s a lot of positive fight against and I loved it)

[ribena59p]

i stay up at night watching your youtube videos as the davesport brainrot takes its toll on my brain and i end up crying at night because davesport cant be real (sorry i never uhhh like the videos because im usually doomscrolling whilst half-awake i can never remember to BUT DON'T WORRY IM GONNA SET A REMINDER SO EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY YOU'RE GONNA GET A WHOLE BUNCH OF YOUTUBE NOTIFICATIONS YAHOOOGA)

a n d n o w i f o u n d y o u o n t u m b l r .

thank you for making the davesport effect worse than it needs to be also i see you everywhere also shave off their hair once in a while i wanna see their little bald faces in your artstyle sometime on one of these fine days okay byeeeeee

I tend to ignore requests to draw them bald Because it almost always feels like it comes from some place of weird hatred or spite and i like to draw them with hairr its fun.. idk it's odd how no one really bats an eye when i give them facial hair tho, even tho they definitely don’t have that either. but. wuddever... also literally every dsaf character except like. matt. is canonically bald and like. that's so booooring af. i like giving them luscious hair it adds spice. flavor. personality. also it’s just. genuinely one of my fav things to draw. bald people are kind of traumatic (joke) to draw bc i was tragically into countryhumans from 2018–2020…… anyway i *do* think canon dave and jack are really cute i just think the bald look doesn’t really mesh with how i draw them.. ever so twinkily. major respect to ppl who do draw them bald though u are stronger than me. Hope you enjoy this…abomination……….

also THANK u for enjoying my youtube videos lol and dont worry about spamming my youtube i don’t get notifications because i made the account on my mommys email back in like 2013 because i was under 13 and i didnt have my own email.. i dont particularly want her getting notifications on my yaoi animations but she watches them anyway.. i think she thinks i don’t know but ..i do.. know….i see it in her watch history. LOLOL

anyway sorry for the rambly mess of thoughts. currently going through some kind of mental breakdown and this helped thank you for letting me ramble about dsaf LOLOLOL. Also sorry for not drawing jack i dont like him. Joking. I just didnt wanna draw him…might come back to this though. Thank u for the fuuuun. Ask

[cult-of-the-eye]

Ok I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna make the new hyperfixation post:

CRIMINAL MINDS:

I started watching it cause I was on the internet during the Dr Reid thirst trap era and let's just say a scrawny motherfucker with autism is the surefire way to get me to watch something

Especially when everyone is going through the horrors

I am in love with the format of the show, with the whole quotes and then different characters saying the quotes and the isolated cases with the slight hints of more background for each of the characters it's really keeping me going

I'm not great with gore and shit but like it's got shitty 2000s CGI so like it's easy to tell myself it's just actors with fake blood

Also listen I had to tap into my 9 yr old undiagnosed autistic obsessed with psychopaths phase at some point

It just tickles the right parts of my brain

Anyway the characters are why I stuck around

Gideon <3333 I love that strange walrus looking man I love how he's simultaneously such an emotional rock for everyone in the BAU but also dealing with his own things, he goes into each of the crimes with such calmness and compassion and I just love that weird old man especially when he introduced himself as Jason to the little girl he was saving in that one episode, i was like HE'S MAKING HIMSELF SEEM LIKE LESS OF A THREAT BY INTRODUCING HIMSELF WITH HIS FIRST NAMEEEE, HE'S TRYING TO PUT HER AT EASE

Hotch oh man it was one scene specifically that literally started my brainrot for this guy, I wasn't that into him in the first couple of episodes and then it was revealed that he was horrifically abused by his dad and actively chose to go into a pathway that would catch people like that and people who get abused and then go on to abuse others and I just. AH. i am such a sucker for any character who has endured things that no one ever should endure at the hands of another human being and then instead of becoming completely bitter and taking the eye for an eye mindset, they vow to make sure the cycle stops with them and they may not be all sunshine and daisies and instead rough a lot of the times but they do it and they do it realistically

He's got a wife and a kid!!! He did it!! He made a better life for himself and it makes me feel like I could too, he's so strong and I feel like my strength can one day be used for more than just survival

Elle!!!! God I love her I feel like she's so realistic for a woman in her field, she's smart and strong and capable and she acknowledges all the things she has going against her, she's compassionate to the female rape victims, she gets furious at the people targeting women in particular what i would do to be this woman's friend

Reid. Oh lord. Listen I'm not on the thirst trap train but I do understand the love for this guy. My love for him however stems from the autism. The whole wanting to be useful and only knowing how to through interests and hyperfixations and feeling like he's missing out on some things cause he's different

It was the hostage situation on the train that got to me he was just so REAL and it's so awesome to see autistic people succeed in stuff like this

It's also nice to see him accepted by the team for who he is

I do also like him cause he's cool but it's easier to explain the autism stuff

Garcia - wonderful amazing spectacular I love me a confident woman in stem

Morgan - i like how he's sort of the "cool guy" archetype but his whole thing is getting into the mind of the UnSub I feel like it gives him more depth

JJ - god she's so cool and calm under pressure I love her

So yeah. The BAU is my new comfort character crew I'm taking Elle with me everywhere

But also do I have major issues with the idea of behavioural analysis in crime? Absolutely. It is so insanely subjective the way they're going off of probability, the way their precedent probably lacks temporal validity and also population validity with both the androcentrism and ethnocentrism it does feel wrong to be coming to such a conclusion about the UnSub so quickly and decisively, even though I understand their whole thing is getting there quickly. I just know that categorising human behaviour is never as simple as it seems.

Do I think they tackle some of these issues in the show? Sort of. Am I also aware this is a fictional drama TV show and it may not be that deep? Yes.

Anyway

[lgbtlunaverse]

I think i need to explain why this line makes me go so feral

I think the "fine! I'll kill myself after I kill you" line from nie mingjue in chapter 49 permanently altered my brain chemistry and it has something to do with precisely how i got into the mdzs fandom space in the first place.

I've mentioned it a few times but i started watching the untamed in late 2019 right as it was blowing up everywhere and, likely due to a combination of undiagnosed adhd wrecking my ability to be interested in anything for longer than 4 seconds and me very much not being used to the specific style of acting, especially during fightscenes, i never finished it. The only concrete memory i have of it is seeing wen qing's face and meng ziyi completely short circuiting my little gay brain. I remember more of staring endlessly at pictures of her than I remember of the plot. Press F to pay respects.

Flash forward a few years and a friend recommends me a fic writer for an fma fic (the fic riter in question is metisket) and i like their stlye so much i decide to read other stuf they've written. Here we get to our prime suspect: "the one body problem" a genuinely hilarious fic where jingyi gets posessed by wei wuxian like a year before the plot happens and they become awkward brain buddies. 10/10 i loved it (and still do) even though i remember huasiang showing up in my first reading and I, having fully forgotten his name, had no fucking clue what was going on. (Little did i know...)

Anyway flash forward ANOTHER year and I decide to reread that fic, and then the other untamed fic metisket wrote, a wen qing time travel fix it that's also real fun. And then i'm like. huh. that's fun. wonder if there's anything in their bookmarks.

And then, within 20 days, I had read approximately 350 fics. Many of them 100k+ words. I cannot stress enough how much this CONSUMED my brain's ability to do or think about anything else. I now think back to the early days of getting my adhd diagnosis and insisted that while i had pretty much all other symptoms, I did not get hyperfixations. Lol. Lmao, even.

I am mainly focused on wangxian and the junior quartet becuase they are my baby ducklings and i love them. I do come across some 3zun fics and I think huh... this is interesting. But the 3zun brainrot is LIGHT at this point.

The thing about reading more than 350 fanfics is that at some point you kind of piece the plot of the source material back together backwards. Especially because my favorite genre was time travel fix its, where characters relive the whole plot and like to make allusions to all the ways everything went wrong last time.

Because I'm still squarely in my wangxian + juniors (plus a heavy dosis of yunmeng sibling reconciliation) corner here... the feelings on jin guangyao in my fandom corner are. different from where I'd end up soon after. He is my special little guy though, so I do kind of immediatley develop a fondness for him, and I approach my 3zun and early nieyao thoughts specifcially from the assumption that the widespread opinion is that nie mingjue is a fine good guy and jgy is the evil one (I have not seen the bad nmj takes yet. well... I am seeing DIFFERENT bad nmj takes but they're nice to him. In, like, the wrong way. With no solid undertanding of the inherent tragedy at the heart of him that makes him so blorbo to me. But still.) major reactions to the stairs scene as I see them on twitter are "girlboss! He should've kicked him harder 💅"

And the baby jgy apologist in me goes :/ me no likey. And at this point I am also actively seeking out metas and analysis posts so i'm seeing some better opinions than that and getting a halfway solid graps on the themes. wwx and jgy being foils becomes very obvious to me very quickly. So, with my curent understanding of the plot, I go... you know all you people who are like "god i wish nmj would have killed jgy sooner" it uhh... kinda sounds like he'd have died if he did that. If he'd killed him before meng yao had gone off to spy there is a very big chance they'd have lost the sunshot campaign and most of the main cast would be dead. If he'd killed him at the stairs that's... well that's killing your sworn brother, which by the canon's own admission is a universally reviled crime, and jin guangshan could easily take advantage of this by demanding nmj's head in retribution, since he already wanted to get rid of him anyway. He doesn't give a fuck about a-yao of course but he could pretend well enough that he does. And what leg would nmj have to stand on? The jin clan is canonically both willing and able to slaughter entire clans for the murder or attempted murder of the leader or his family, and nie mingjue is the kinda guy who'd immediately offer himself up if it meant the rest of his clan would be spared.

This combined with jin guangyao specifcally dying for his murder of nie mingjue, with huaisang basically not caring much about everything else he does and wanting to get revenge only for his brother, it gives nieyao a sort of mutual doomed soulmates feel. For either of them, killing the other would spell death for themselves. They either both die or they both live, one cannot live on without the order. That's crunchy. I like it.

The fire palace though? well, on meng yao's part there is a real argument that if he'd let nmj get killed immediatly instead of dragging it out he wouldn't have been able to get wrh alone and distracted enough to assasinate him, so that's one half of the mutual doom coin, and if nmj had killed him during their fight there he's also done for. But after? Right before Xichen intervenes? I had no answer for that yet.

(You know what's coming. I did not)

It is at this point that i realize that if this is gonna keep being A Thing then i need to read the source material before I catch fatal fanon poisoning. Yes, I can piece together the plot and themes from seeing what stays consistent across fics and what are the author's own opinons. But I know just as well that sometimes fanon just agrees on shit that didn't happen and treats it like canon, and I have no way of knowing which is which. So I start reading the novel.

And of course, eventually I get to the empathy sequence. And remember, my "nieyao both live or both die" theory is heavy on my mind at this point, and the only stickler is that nmj could sort of have killed meng yao after the confrontation with wrh, still believing meng yao was actually working for him, and not a spy, and get off... not scott-free, Xichen won't be happy, but it's not gonna cost him his life.

And then I read THIS.

Please Imagine dropping a whole block of pure elemental sodium into water. Except the sodium is this quote and the water is my poor little delicate brain. Not only is my theory right, it is ten times more unhinged than i thought it was.

And considering that Nie Mingjue does not seem like the kind of guy who'd consider something like a life debt to have an expiration date, and because after this he will link himself legally and socially to jin guangyao as family and declare that one among their brotherhood turning against the others is to be met with a painful death, I can no longer read the scene at the stairscase in jinlintai without the impression that he is still planning to die afterwards. Which, if you wanted to make that scene even more painful, this is a very efficient way of losing all your remaining hinges.

I think I'd have gone crazy about this line no matter what context I heard it in, but this one specifically? where I'm already obsessed with idea of nieyao's deaths being connected by the narrative and missing just this one piece and having it confirmed? out loud? from one of the characters himself? It's like giving cocaine to a baby.

[soaps-mohawk]

I'd love to talk more about artsy Soap! you think he'd be more into painting or diy crafting?? make little matching trinkets for the 141! Would he put his drawings up around the base/in his room or maybe even the rec room? Does he try to convulsions the others to have a little art night with him every once in a while??

I haven't been able to forget artsy Soap since you told me and I genuinely LOVE this headcanon, could go on for DAYS

The way artsy Soap has been living in my brain rent free...I wish I had read that headcanon before I started my fic, or at least earlier on in it, I so would have included that in there.

I feel like his main medium would be drawing/painting but I could see him doing little DIY projects just for fun. He wouldn't even have to be good at them, just the joy in doing them would be enough. He would so rope the others into doing them with him too lol. Ghost has been compulsed into arts and crafts time more than once by Johnny's sweet smile.

I think his paintings would be everywhere they were allowed to be. They all probably have at least one of his works in their rooms and Price so has one hanging in his office. I can just imagine Soap's walls in his room just covered in doodles, paintings, drafts.

The artsy Soap brainrot is real, I'm telling you