#though maybe my friends have some... i know i know some culture and identity nerds...

[kkoct-ik]

i kinda wish i had a reading list to plug for non-pathological multiplicity and the variance of human identity and sense of self...

[alphajocklover]

Trick or Treat you choose! When I was in college, we would laugh at the frat bros... we even had viewing parties of Jersey Shore and laughed at their antics, Gym Tan Laundry indeed. Now with the proliferation of Only Fans, and influencer culture, And seeing all these people rake in millions of dollars, I have do wonder, did they have the right idea? Maybe instead of paying for college, I should have put that money into focusing on my body, and getting ripped, and then starting an onlyfans? or a youtube/tick tok? What do you think?

‘The meek shall inherit the earth.’ You had always believed in that saying growing up. Being the scrawny and constantly bullied kid you were, you had to believe that. You had to believe that one day you’d be on top and all the sleazy, muscular jocks that treated you like shit would be working for you, that you and other nerds would win out in the end, just like in all the movies and songs. You believed in it so much that you began to look down on the meatheads who treated you like shit, and even just muscular guys in general. You and your 2 best friends would watch the ‘guidos’ on Jersey shore and make fun of them for how vapid and ridiculous they seemed.

And then you grew up. You got older, and learned that no matter who you were, success and failure were never guaranteed. You did alright for yourself, you got a nice job and an apartment, but it seemed like every year you worked a little harder and owed a little more. You were treading water, while the douchebags who used to bully you were living it up! Not all of them were successful, but those who were were famous, good looking hunks who seemed to have a different woman every night. Over time you became envious of them, and started to wonder if you had been wrong. If all the movies had lied, and the nerds never won. If the strong just kept getting stronger. You started to become obsessed with the idea of being one of those guys, of going back and doing it differently.

That’s why you had insisted on going in a ‘guido’ costume.

It was specifically a costume of one of the more famous Jersey Shore Guidos, Pauly D, but you didn’t actually care about the specifics that much. You just wanted to live out the fantasy of being a guido stud, just for one night. You had told your friends it was a joke. That you were doing it ironically to mock those types of guys. You even convinced them to go as other Jersey Shore guys, to make it into a group costume. You studied how they talked, how they walked, so that the fantasy would be all the more real. You just didn’t realize how real it would get

You weren’t sure when exactly it happened. When you and your friends got to the Halloween party your neighbor was throwing, you were surprised how much fun it was. As you partied through the night, eating candy, spewing guido slang and acting like the guy you dreamed of being, you didn’t notice how real it was becoming. You didn’t notice when the wig magically turned into real hair, when your skin gained a deep, manly tan, not even when your obviously fake muscle suit turned into real, hard beef. You only realized something was wrong when, after losing them for almost 2 hours, you ran into your friends again, and by then you were too far gone to care. You and your bros took a picture, each smirking smugly. Your voice, your history, even your identity had changed. You weren’t Pauly D, but you were a guido stud. An Italian stallion with a horse cock you knew was gonna get you laid tonight.

In the end, you got exactly what you wanted. You got turned into a studly Jersey bros guido. This time the trick was on your friends you dragged with you. Not that they seem to mind.

**hey! I haven’t done anything with ‘Guidos’ before, but I do find the stereotype very hot! I really hope I didn’t offend anyone though, as while I find the stereotype hot I know some people find it offensive. If you have any tips of how to write this kind of stuff more sensitively, please let me know. Thanks for reading!**

[yardsards]

also another reason i'm wary of discussions of "female socialization" is that too many of them act like it's a universal experience rather than something that varies widely based on your individual sociocultural background. like, what a girl is supposed to be varies WIDELY by culture or even by family.

like as someone who grew up in rural appalachia, what was expected of me as a girl was a good bit different from girls (even of the same race and similar income level) that i've talked to who grew up in town just an hour away. a woman who could effortlessly lob a hay bale half her body weight was considered a *good* thing here. but at the same time, we were told things about submitting to our husbands that could possibly be described as "some handmaids tale type shit".

(the ideal of a good redneck woman shares a lot of traits with a "pickme girl" actually, though it's not quite identical, and is also wrapped in a layer of *regional* pride/exceptionalism rather than *personal* exceptionalism.) (sidenote i've kinda grown to detest the term "pickme girl" cuz half of the people who say it aren't referring to women that push other women down and degrade femininity. they're just referring to like. a masculine woman minding her own business and maybe personally kinda disliking the colour pink cuz it got forced on her too hard as a kid.)

ANYWAY. this is only part sociological analysis and is mostly a leadup to an anecdote i remembered:

in high school i had this girl i was friends with. classic queer teenage friendship. unhealthy, codependent, being some form of in love with each other, ultimately culminating in an explosive friend breakup. you know the deal.

and at the time (peak of friendship, pre-breakup) my friend had this shit-ass boyfriend. like i probably would have disliked him on principle cuz i was a jealous baby queer but he more than earned my vitriol for reasons i'm not going to go into here cuz most of em aren't funny they're just legit upsetting.

and we were talking and i think my friend mentioned something about liking a big strong man who could carry her, cuz next thing i know i'm smugly looking the fuck ass boyfriend in the eyes lifting my friend up with my wobbly little nerd arms. real urgent "mother lifting a car off her baby" type strength or something must have kicked in cuz i've always been shaped somewhere on the spectrum of "twink" and "malnourished victorian orphan"

and i put her down and the fuckass boyfriend comes up to me and pats me on the back and says "wow, you're a real country gal!"

i wasn't trying to affirm my heritage, dalton. i was trying to steal your girl. (and possibly affirm my burgeoning transmasculinity? but mostly steal your girl tbh.)

[bluedalahorse]

So I wrote a little something about the RWRB movie, particularly the erasure or diminishing of some other queer characters’ (not Alex or Henry’s) identities. I’m cutting it so you don’t have to read it, but of course you can if you would like to. Not going to tag it for now, just for peace of mind.

So overall, there were parts of the movie I found charming and enjoyable, and I think things really picked up in the second half. I did find the whole thing kind of uneven on a writing level. I know changes have to be made and things have to be cut when you go from a novel to a two-hour movie, and I sort of like looking at how the adaptation process works. After a second watch I can probably pin down some of the writing issues and appreciate what did work. I don’t know if I will or won’t post about it.

Really, right now, the thing on my heart that I want to discuss, is the representation issue.

I actually think they did a good job representing Alex and Henry’s relationship mlm onscreen, once it got going. The tender moments were tender, the spicy moments were spicy. You didn’t get actors looking at one another like “oh god I have to be in love with a man now” and we didn’t cut away from the intimacy scenes like we were ashamed of them.

But—sigh. The way they cut or diminished every other queer character in the story. Obviously I knew Luna and Liam had been cut out, so I was ready to adjust my expectations there. I’m glad Amy was played by a trans actress, although I also wish we like… knew Amy was trans and sapphic? Maybe there was a line about Amy’s wife that I missed, but I don’t remember one. 

My biggest feelings of frustration, though, is how they handled Nora, who is very much bisexual and Jewish and a statistical analysis nerd. I get combining Nora and June to streamline things for the movie, but I do not understand why you wouldn’t make Nora bi? You can keep roughly the same number of scenes with her and Alex, and just rewrite their interactions to sound like two queer friends talking instead of a protagonist and his Black Best Friend archetype the protagonist says things to because he needs to say his internal monologue externally. Rachel Hilson did bring great energy to the role, so I liked seeing her onscreen. I just wish the script gave her more to work with and didn’t erase her bisexuality. Like there’s a certain audacity to the script saying that the B in LGBTQ isn’t silent (an important line to have!) when the film is either very much silent about a key character’s bisexuality or has written it out completely.

(Although, the part where Nora was obviously playing a drinking game over political debates? Loved that, excellent example of DC behavior right there, I did cheer at that scene. I am 100% serious.)

Also. There’s just… something. About implying that the gay Mexican journalist character was the one who leaked the emails, instead of the Republican Party. There’s something about writing that storyline in an America where gay people, Mexicans, and ~the media~ are regularly demonized. At a time when the actual Republican Party IRL is literally out here trying to do a genocide on trans people, and Florida’s Don’t Say Gay ban is on the books, and everything. I get that Prime was probably trying not to piss off the actual GOP and draw their ire, but like, conservatives are not going to watch this or like this anyway? I get changing the antagonists, maybe, but maybe we need to go in another direction with that. Hm.

One more thought, as far as overall vibe. Washington DC is statistically the city in America with the highest LGBTQIA+ population. Queer rights are visible in our city’s culture—maybe in a nerdier way than some of the more “hip” US cities but it’s still there if you know where to look. The West Wing/federal government are a bit removed from DC’s broader culture, depending on the administration, but Ellen Claremont is a liberal Democrat with a diverse staff, so she’s more likely to have an open relationship to DC’s queer culture than say, a conservative Republican president. So… idk. Let Alex move through scenes that reflect this culture, is what I’m saying.

Tl;dr I think the RWRB movie worked as a gay romcom in the Netflix Christmas movie sense. It reflected an mlm relationship and did it well enough. At the same time, Casey McQuiston writes books about queer community, which has always been one of the reasons I gravitate toward their work and come back to it. I feel like this movie chose queer individualism over queer community, and that makes me sad. It especially makes me sad in a time where we’re getting tons of mlm-themed things released but every other aspect of LGBTQIA+ identity has been ignored or diminished.

For comparison, RWRB is about the length of half a season of Heartstopper, and even half a season of Heartstopper depicts a range of LGBTQIA+ identities and knows how to write queer community, even when centering the story on a main mlm relationship. And yes, Heartstopper is different, different things need to be considered and so on. I do think the People Who Make Heartstopper looked at what the comic said, went “oh, one of the things this comic is about is about is queer community” and created a show that reflected that, even if they couldn’t adapt everything from the comic. I wish the People Who Make RWRB had looked at Casey’s book and done the same.

I hope we can simultaneously hold the competing truths that like, 1. it’s okay if the RWRB movie isn’t groundbreaking art, because some LGBTQIA+ movies are just allowed to be mid romcoms, but also 2. it didn’t do right by the queer community themes in the book, and it erased the queer women especially, and this feels like part of a larger pattern when so many mlm releases are happening all at once.

Anyway I’m done, for now. More thoughts later? I mean who knows.

Who’s looking forward to Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe?

[yuna-writes]

Social groups and personal identity

As I get older, I'm slowly realizing I sort of have to associate myself with other people with similar interests and worldview. But part of me wants to hang out with very different people. It could be my openness to new experiences, so I like the idea of being friends with someone who's different but they usually aren't very open to my interests and opinions. It's the catch 22, people tell me in order to make new friends, you have to be 'open' to wide variety of people but than you also get exposed to rejection and pain. I don't know, for some reason I think it's safe to say I can't make friendships with majority of women out there because I'm not really girly or feminine. I don't really put too much attention into my hair, skin and I don't go shopping outside often. I'm not into celebrity culture, and I'm not too interested in the dating culture, partying or obsess over men and the idea of marriage. I don't gossip. I'm not flirty, or spontaneous or interested in latest fashion. At first, I didn't think of this a major blocker and I thought I can realistically be friends with someone who are into those things, but then quickly realize they aren't really interested in being friends with me.

I guess that filters out a lot of people, but I also dislike where this is going where I also have to be very selective in the people I associate with but it feels kind of limiting. It reminds me of the high school days where the jocks only hanged out with jocks. The nerds hanged out with other nerds. Cliques and groups exist for a reason, because people want to relate to each other and feel an emotional connection. I suppose if two very different people tried to become friends, they would have more conflicts, disagreements, and misunderstandings. It's stressful and it doesn't make the relationship enjoyable so I can see why people only hang out in groups or a specific "type" of people. I'm not sure though. Some of things I always found to be baffling is how do people strongly know their identity? No offense, I didn't even know I was a nerd until a few months ago. I went through majority of my life not really putting a label on myself, but realistically, people do label you whether you want to or not. People develop perception about you depending on social norms of a specific time period.

I think it's more realistic to say your a person who's always evolving and changing into a different identity in my opinion. For example, you were a student at one point, but then you transition into being an employee working for a employer. Your worldview is going to change eventually, and your interest might slightly change too. But for some reason, people really want to cling into their previous or past identity. Or they continuously try to stay with their single identity forever. It might make them seem like they have strong fundamentals or strong values...but I find it a bit boring and stagnant. If they feel content, who am I to judge? But terribly limiting in a way they live in their fish bowl and associate with the same species of fish. I suppose the routine, predictability and familiarly provides them safety.

When they meet me, I suppose I sort of challenge those status quo and they may feel uncomfortable around my presence. I can respect it, but then those people can't literally tell me I'm being close minded by not being 'open' to people. The irony is more towards them then myself. That advice was always annoying to me, because maybe that advice is helpful to people who have more "mainstream" interests and can find people who are similar to them easily. If your interests are really specific and unpopular, then obviously finding like minded individuals is going to be difficult. Maybe, they didn't know who I was, but just made an assumption based on their biases.

[tropylium]

this is really pretty close to a thing I have been meaning to write about! since diversifying over to also twitter recently, even just in mainly professional capacity, it's been great at not just highlighting what it is I like in places like this, but also, how other places have other strengths

and one of the things that turns out to have been. mm. not the best word but, microaggressing me about the discourse blog ecology around here is just how unserious it is on the median. it's not that there merely is shitposting or irony, it's that for too many people who otherwise per se display a great amount of interesting thoughts, the shitposting and irony, the performativeness of the discourse, completely drown out any attempts to coordinate around anything, to state meaningful goals, to execute projects. (imo OP included; and tbqh, myself included, if maybe yet more for lacking often the energy for longposting and preferring aestheticsblogging instead). maybe excluding activism shit, though then as we know, barely anyone online cares about whether activism accomplishes anything, not even when it "is coordinated"

around here on tumblr dot com, the social consensus just seems to be that you "have to" put on a kayfabe of detached irony or haughty armchair philosophy, sometimes indeed from the notorious "viewpoint from nowhere" but perhaps more often other variants like "from mere collection-of-identities" or "from atomized individualism", or else — I dunno, what? cringe culture eats you? maybe if you're allergic to blocking copiously. but we could do better, could be more personally serious (textual seriousness in our longposts is probably already doing more than well enough).

not that twitter's doing all that much better either and we may well be indeed on an overall civilizational seriousness slump, but there I've at least found some small number of people who are serious about some things and actively bouncing ideas off of each other

I even keep wondering, is it just because I'm here and the actual seriousness only happens on other platforms? e.g. the ratsphere has EA sites and LessWrong and Wordpress blogs and so on. but it's then unclear to me about many other people if they have any interest in being serious, in the sense of having skin in the game and goals not yet achieved, anywhere at all. Argumate Disease, I could call it — he's clearly the most prominent example, even if probably not the most egregious. also fwiw the most prominent counterexample that occurs to me might be Mitigated Chaos, they've a style that's still shitposty at times but at least not making it their main axis and clearly trying to achieve things even here. (but in the end, I wouldn't know, nobody ever tells me anything; which I kinda resent but I'm not sure how much I should exactly, if it's me specifically for some reasons, or the same for most of us)

— to do still a bit more visakanv canvassing (visakanvassing?): he frames "shitposting" as the practice of the axis of Friendly:

Sermonposting without shitposting gets you pedestalized, which is dehumanizing Shitpost too much and nobody takes you seriously, which is also kind of dehumanizing You can nerdpost forever quite happily, but it can be a lonely and frustrating experience The flow is the point

and that's an interestingly different version compared to my experience: shitposting as understood around here seems to do nothing for making friends, it's cheap notefarming and potshots, opposed to meaningful openness. if we continue to consider Visa's golden triangle of Friendly Ambitious Nerds …

…it's deeply familiar to me on the latter two axes already, but the notion of being Friendly, it seems just — on one hand obviously desirable once articulated, but so so far away from any serious social milieu I've experienced or witnessed, to the point of making my entire life feel chronically socially malnourished, that it just as well could be considered alien. maybe that is what's generally holding back seriousness around here too; we have curiosity, we have some productivity, but we do not seem to treat each other with kindness for any of it

Thought for a moment in the 2010s that we were entering a new serious era (e.g. 1920s, 30s, 40s), but it seems that we're instead in an increasingly tacky era (50s, 60s, 70s). Like look at the change in YouTube. Well you all are textheads you don't do video, I know that. But like. In 2017 there was ContraPoints. Agree or disagree with her opinions, what she was doing was conceptually and aesthetically serious. Even her early, low-production-value stuff. She was talking about incels and other internet shit, but the internet is part of the real world, that's fine. In fact that's what gave me hope for another serious era, people were finally talking about internet stuff the way 1920s German intellectuals or whatever talked about the cultural trends of their day. Maybe because Contra has half a philosophy PhD and was explicitly influenced by those German intellectuals.

Another example from a totally disjoint cultural niche was Digi a.k.a. Trixie a.k.a. Ygg Studios or whatever they go by now. Drunk, smelly, and unkempt—yes. Or at least so went the persona. Talking seriously about anime—also yes. When they claimed they were the only good anime reviewer on the internet it made a lot of people mad. But they were right!

There were thinkers, we had thinkers. My generation, or roughly my generation, had thinkers. To be clear, when I include Contra here I'm not including all of her ilk, I'm not including the leftist-theory-regurgitators and so on. But Contra herself was a thinker! Digi was a thinker! We had thinkers.

But that era is over now, on YouTube at least. I go on there and it's all algorithmic drivel. I look for anime content and as I've explained it's all about #hype and #epic and how the new season of whatever #hits different and other empty meaningless bullshit. No analysis, no thought, fundementally unserious bullshit. Tacky! It's tacky! The the YouTube thumbnail O-face is fucking 70s-ass fake wood paneling tacky bullshit!

MrBeast. I've never seen a MrBeast video but I hate him for what he represents. I used to watch this channel called Wranglerstar, he made videos about different types of axes and forest fire fighting equipment and various other stuff. "Modern homesteading" I believe was the tagline. And it was always evident that he was a far-right guy but who gives a shit, his videos where good. Serious videos about interesting topics, that a fucking normal guy might watch. Well around 2020 he basically started flooding his channel with covid conspiracy bullshit and "the Chinese are going to attack us any day!" bullshit and other unserious crap. And I had to stop watching. How could I find any of that compelling? It's vapid nonsense.

And I don't know if it's a shift in the algorithm or people becoming more savvy to the algorithm or what, but all of YouTube is like this now. Vapid clickbait empty meaningless bullshit for another tacky commercialized bullshit era.

And you know, I felt like it might just be localized to YouTube for a while, but I started to look around, and it just feels like everything is like this. Backsliding to the tacky times. God I hate tackiness. I hate unseriousness. I'm having a little meltdown. At least SMW kaizo hacks are having a renaissance. People are doing serious shit in that space, serious shit that is also not anachronistic, you know, it's kept up with the modern world. It addresses modern concerns (fun to play hard Mario). But it's serious. People are serious. One of the few serious things happening in my orbit.

Even in science it feels like people aren't serious anymore. You know, standard Sabine Hossenfelder complaint about particle physics. But I don't really know enough about that to say. Get the vibe that biology is still serious these days.

To be clear, everything I'm saying here is pure vibes. I'm just saying shit. I'm just saying shit that I feel. But I'll be deeply disappointed if I have to live my youth in another tacky era, god damn it. Even the 80s seem like they were better than this.

[genderfluidityfornewbies]

Personal Experiences

Being genderfluid isn’t easy. In fact, it’s really, really hard. Or at least it was for me. This post is about my personal experience of discovering I was genderfluid, coming out, and my ongoing path of self-discovery. 

So, who am I? Well, I’m a nerd. An American. A traveler. An advocate for equality. A writer. A pansexual. But yeah, I’m also genderfluid. 

I didn’t always know. (And that’s important. Even if you didn’t always know either, or you still don’t know, you are valid.)

I am a biological female, meaning (assigned female at birth, A.K.A. AFAB) I have all the genitalia of a woman, secondary sex-characteristics, I get my period every month because I’m still young, but more importantly, I look like society’s interpretation of what  a girl looks like. My parents always liked to dress me up when I was younger, and I wore dresses to nice events, always got compliments like, “oh, you’re so beautiful”, “you are so polite”, etc. But I got the flip side of those comments too, like, “oh, you eat so much, like a guy”, “you’re smart, for a girl”, “no, no, let the guys carry the table, you can just stand there with your mom”.  And I know, trust me, being a girl is hard. It sucks sometimes, even, because people don’t expect you to be strong, smart, or care about a lot of issues. For example, robotics - I was on the team for two entire years, and I didn’t even get a good position because there were thirty guys and only four girls. A lot of these stereotypes about girls got me thinking, maybe I don’t like being perceived this way. (And you don’t have to be genderfluid to think that.) I am strong. I am highly intelligent. 

For a while I was really confused and torn about my gender. I like dressing up sometimes - school dances for example, I like wearing a long flowy dress with makeup and being told I’m gorgeous. Some days, I stare at myself if I’m wearing a crop top or a bikini and think, damn, I’m a hot girl. 

But then there are the days where I don’t want to be a girl. I just… don’t. Some days, I feel androgynous, gender-neutral. Those days are weird because I don’t use they/them pronouns (if you use them that is great; I just don’t because I personally only relate to she/her or he/him). I just wanna be me for me. Y’know? Just a nonbinary, genderless nerd. 

Days when I feel like a guy might be the hardest. At least right now, I don’t want any kind of surgery to change my appearance, because I do like looking like a girl sometimes. I’m actually lucky because my jawline is pretty sharp and I don’t have big breasts so I can get away looking androgeynous/masculine without a binder or makeup to alter my jawline. (Just me, again. You are VALID if you use binders/makeup/appearances to showcase your gender identity, and you are VALID if you do not!) I like to wear a hoodie, band tees, vests, trousers, blazers, etc. when I am male/masculine. But it completely sucks if it’s summer and all I brought on my trip is a bunch of bikinis and dresses, or if I have my period and don’t feel like a dude on the outside. Ugh. 

Anyway, so when I was in middle school I realized I was having these thoughts, these feelings. I knew I wasn’t one gender or the other. I knew I was switching in between, feeling like a different one each day. (I’d say right now I’m 60% female, 30% gender neutral/a mixture of genders, and 10% male.)  I talked to my school counselor a lot about it - I was really lucky because she was super inclusive and when I first came out to her, I was really scared, but she was great and let me spend a lot of time in her office. (This was great because I happened to live in a rural part of the U.S. where there were a lot of people who hated genderfluidity and the LGBTQ+ community, and made it hard for me to come out.) I wanted to tell my parents I was genderfluid, but I was scared because it is a relatively new concept for their generation to grasp (even though genderfluidity dates back to ancient times). So I sat on it. 

Then… Pinterest. I love Pinterest. I liked looking at genderfluid memes, culture, fashion, etc. But I found a LOT more information there on transgender, specifically transguys (female to male, A.K.A. FTM). And coincidentally, I had a week or two during the winter where I felt totally like a dude. So I kind-of thought I was a transguy because my gender hadn’t changed in a while, and I came out as a transguy to my parents. Oof. It was not the right label for me. But how could I know?

My parents got me a gender therapist before I came out to anyone else. I absolutely love talking to her - highly recommend it. (There are a lot of online services like her’s that you can use.) And she helped me realize I’m not necessarily one gender, I am all of them. I am none of them. Sometimes, I like being a girl, being perceived as such. And other times, I like being a guy, or not any gender, or many at once. 

I switched schools, and for high school, I was nervous. I wanted to be me, dress how I like, tell people. I was really, really afraid they wouldn’t like me. But guess what? I was honest, and I found a group of people who support my genderfluidity. Even a few teachers who could understand me. 

There are pros and cons to coming out. If you aren’t safe, don’t do it. But I was lucky because I wasn’t in any danger. So for me, coming out was probably one of the best decisions, because now I know who my real friends are. 

My journey isn’t over. It’s still hard. Sometimes, I don’t even know if my gender is valid. And my sexuality is a very separate story. But it’s okay, because now I have a support system. And that is what I hope to be to all you Tumblr readers. 

[pl-panda]

Damienette arranged marriage part 4

Credits: Miraculous Ladybug team for the elements I take from MLB show. DC for their characters, @ozmav for the AU, @maribat-archive for giving me access to so many different stories to have take inspirations from, @thyladyanput for idea for Chat Damian and me for the plot.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

NEXT

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"Oh god! Oh god! I got to meet MDC! Can I get your authograph?" He was suddenly next to her, holding a copy of the her first album cover she made for Jagged.

"Sure." She signed it and handed it back. It read: 'Good luck TD, MDC'

Tim Fainted.

Marinette was befuddled. She never saw anyone react like that. Sure Adrien once asked her for an autograph, but this was new.

"Forgive Drake. He first got into what he calls 'music' when he saw the new glasses Jagged Stone wore in Paris." Damian said, looking almost bored with his brother's antics.

"Really?"

"You should have seen him. He also wanted to figure out MDC identity. After three nights he had nothing. We had to cut the cord from coffee machine in the batcave and force him to go to bed." Dick was laughing at the unconscious brother. Tim was often such a nerd that it was miracle he got Steph to date him. But then again, Demon Spawn just got married.

"Tt. As much as I love to embarrass Drake, it's less fun when he is unconscious and we have other matters to discuss."

"Agreed" Bruce nodded. "Do you know what will you tell your parents miss?"

"Not really... They don't know about this." She gestured around. "If they knew I got married, they would ground me for life. Maman and Papa can get a bit overprotective. Last time I brought a boy home Papa got akumatized and placed me in giant prison of thorns."

"Brr... And I thought that having to duel Tamaranian general to be able to marry Kor'i was bad." Dick chuckled.

"Suckers!" Jason shouted before taking a large swing of the whiskey. "I never had such problems."

"Maybe because you never dated anyone, Flappy Bird" Dick grinned maliciously.

"That's enough! I am trying to have a civilized conversation with my daughter-in-law! If you two idiots don't shut up, I will ground you and give you the Watchtower duty at least until christmas!" Bruce was slowly getting done with this bickering.

"Fine/He started it!" Dick/Jason shouted.

"I don't care. Get out if you wish to continue." Bruce cut them off before they got into another argument and turned to Marinette. "No friends that would cover for you? Or a partner?"

"No..." Every member of the batfam (bar the unconscious Tim) immediately noticed the darker note behind this. "My identity is... was the best kept secret in the world. There were exactly two humans who knew. Me and Master Fu. But he lost all his memories." She hummed for a moment. "Well, now I guess you know too. And the League of Assassins. And Order of the Guardians. Oh Tikki I am an awful Ladybug..."

"You are great Ladybug Marinette. The best one out there." The Kwami reassured her. "Nobody in Paris would do a better job!"

Marinette smiled and calmed down a bit. She was still shaking. Jason gave her one look and tried to handle her a glass of whiskey, but one glare from Damian was enough to make him back away from this idea.

"I have a better question." Dick joined the discussion after he was done with Jason. "What about you and Damian."

"Nobody asked you Grayson." Damian huffed. If it was up to him, he would delay this questioning session to next year. Or decade.

"But he did make a very good point Demon Spawn." Jason supported his older brother.

"I... I don't know. That woman, Talia, said that if we broke this marriage, there would be another war. Who was she?"

"Talia Al Ghul, my mother. She is the current leader of the League of Assassins" Damian explained.

Tim, who nobody noticed woke up, was now sitting back in the computer chair. His face was still pretty much pure bliss, but he was typing like a madman. "There must be some way out of this. It would be easier if we knew the specifics of the marriage contract."

"That's not how it works with the League Drake." Damian scowled. "It's not paperwork. When the ceremony is done, the two people are bound. There is no marriage certificate, there is no marriage license, it's the act that counts." His face was in usual frown.

"So basically the marriage is as well as nonexistent. That's good." Tim grinned, but seeing Damian's face he sensed there was more to it.

"No. That's bad. There is no such thing as divorce in the league, except for killing the spouse."

This caused Marinette to let out a fearful yelp and cuddle to Tikki. But at the same time, Bats noticed that she tensed and prepared to fight. Damian internally cursed himself. He did not want to scarry this girl.

"Don't worry, Miss. Nobody would even consider this." Bruce tried to calm her down.

"We wouldn't, but if the League consider that we are not upholding the marriage, they might go after her." Damian wanted to go and butcher the League. He could do it. Well, everyone but his mother. The young Wayne was unsure if he would be able to do it. For all her faults, he still cared about her.

"Let them try!" Tikki shouted in her squeaky voice. "I will get Plagg to cataclysm this pathetic base of their! Nobody messes with my Marinette!" She protectively flew in front of Marinette, ready to fight anyone who threatened her chosen.

"Maybe let's try to refrain from genocide yet?" Dick asked, half amused, half scared about this. While he was leaning toward believing the threat, the idea that someone so small and cute could take on the whole league was just too damn funny. He then looked at Damian and noticed that the boy had same kind of murderous look. Oh this is too good. He is actually falling for her. He grinned, but decided to at least now don't tease him.

"So there is no way that the two of you just stayed on different continents and acted like this never happened?" Tim asked with resignation.

"It is expected of us to stay together." Damian answered shortly. Marinette felt air leave her lungs like someone just punched her. Her whole life was shattered in the span of a week. What will she tell her parents? And what about school? "I am sorry, Du... Marinette." Damian was tempted to walk to her and comfort her, but he stopped himself. She needed space.

The rest of the Wayne family was stunned. Damian rarely referred to anyone by their first name, much less to strangers. Yet, he was acting very protective and even some dare to say affectionate toward this girl. Tim was starting to think someone did drug him, but rest just smiled. Demon Spawn finally got a crush, and on his wife of all people.

"Wait! There might be a way to deal with it." Tim suddenly brightened. "Or at least delay this."

"Just spit it, Replacement." Damian tried to frown, but he couldn't deny the hope. At the same time, there was this small tingle where his heart should be. He was happy that maybe Marinette would have a chance at normality, but at the same time he wanted to stay with her. To get to know her. Just what in hell is going on with me?

"First of all, rude." Tim started. "And secondly, we could file for her to get a formal underage marriage."

"And how exactly does it help?" Marinette asked.

"The state of Gotham allows underage marriage from the age of fourteen with court permission, provided the certain age-gap is retained. The procedure is very lengthy though."

"So how does it help Drake. I am very curious what is going in this few brain cells of your." Damian was getting impatient.

"The League should respect that you try to validate the marriage in the eyes of law. So until the court proceeding is finished, you two could stay separate and go about your lives. And with a bit of work, it could last for up to two years before the judge agreed."

"To even file for this, we would need a solid basis." Dick spoke before anyone got hope. Tim pressed some buttons on the keyboard and displayed the copy of the underage marriage act.

"One of the listed reasons is cultural specifications. And most people know that Damian was raised by his mother outside of the States. With a bit of work, I can draft a betrothal deal signed when he and Marinette were still babies."

"So basically we put this in court and then delay this into oblivion?" Jason grinned. "I like this."

"I am impressed Drake. For once you've actually proven to be useful." Damian commented.

"So I would be able to stay here in peace?" Marinette asked shyly.

"For some time, yes. The League should not go against you then, because it's not your fault you can't legally live with Damian yet." Bruce assured her.

"But what about vultures in the media?" Dick asked.

"Simple: classified proceeding. Public won't know anything is even in motion." Drake was getting more and more confident in this plan.

"I would be able to finish my school here." Marinette smiled.

"Yes, you would. I will make sure there will be no complications." Bruce smiled. "But there are two more problems that still needs to be dealt with. Hawkmoth and your parents."

"I will deal with talking with my parents on my own." Marinette reassured them. "But I don't don't know about Hawkmoth. He went silent after the last stunt, but it won't be over until I take away his miraculous."

"Drake will stay here and help you solve this case. He is the most level-headed in this room, so the risk of him falling under Akuma is the smallest." Bruce declared and others nodded.

"Thank you! thank you! thank you!" Ladybug jumped from the chair and hugged Tikki, then Bruce, then Tim.

"It's no problem Miss. I am sorry League ignored your plea for help. It's the least I could do."

"For your daughter-in-law you mean?" Jason grinned. Oh he would not let this die so easily. Demon Spawn would get it this time.

"Nobody asked you, Todd." Damian scowled.

"Please don't fight because of me. I think it's time for me to go face my parents."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marinette arrived at her parent's bakery around 10 PM. The lights were still on. She stopped before walking in, taking one more breath to calm herself. She hated lying. She knew that there was no such thing as white lie, not really. Every lie hurt in some way, just not always instantly. She gathered all the courage she could muster and pushed the door, walking in.

"Maman! Papa! I am home!" She called them and there was instantly a commotion on the first floor. "Here we go Tikki. I hope my detention ends before I graduate..." She whispered to her Kwami and prepared to face her parents.

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng!" Her mother barged into the room. "You better explain yourself this instant!" This surprised the girl. She expected her mother to be angry, but also to show some worry. An alarm bell rang in her head. Something was not right.

"How could you?!" Her father was also angry. She could only hope Hawkmoth was still licking his wounds.

"What's going on? Maman? Papa?" She asked in confusion.

"Don't play dumb with us young lady! Alya told us how you decided to run away and try to join Audrey Bourgeois in America!" Her father shouted at her.

"What!? I never did such thing. My mandarin teacher, Master Fu, had an accident. He lost his memory and I was escorting him to the train station for him to meet his friend who would take care of him. You remember master Fu?" She received a nod and continued to bombard her parents with information. It was an advice from Damian. The more she babble the less time they have to actually think this over. "So I handed him over to his friend and they walked into train station, but then I realized I was still holding his luggage and I tried to chase after them. Then, I thought I saw them enter the train, so I followed them, but it turned out this was the wrong train and then it left the station and I was still inside. I panicked and looked for the conductor to sort this out, but he said that they couldn't stop. So I tried to find Master Fu, but he was not there and I immediately got out on the next train station, but I left my purse in the train so I didn't have a phone on me and I had to somehow figure out where I was and then I entered another train, because they said it was going to Paris, but it was misunderstanding and it was coming from Paris and I got even further away, but then I finally got out in some different city, still carrying only Master Fu's luggage and I had to somehow get back to Paris and it took me so long to actually get there and I am sorry that I didn't call but I didn't have any money to pay for a stationary phone and I lost my purse and it would be wrong to go through Master's luggage to get money so I had to sort this out with the train station officials and they helped me get here and I even managed to send the luggage through mail, but only now I got here..." She took a deep breath. Her heart was beating super fast and she was sweating a little bit. Anyone proficient in lies detection could tell this was all bullshit, but luckily her parents wanted to believe her. "What I wanted to say is... I am sorry I didn't call you. I guess I panicked a little."

They hugged her tightly, all three crying a little (her father much). Once they broke apart, she smiled. "Can I go to my room and get some sleep now?"

"Yes. Our little grown up girl." Marinette smiled and was about to run, but she heard her mother continue speaking. "But you are still grounded for two weeks."

"Mom!" She shouted, but smiled and went back to her room.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist (sorry if I missed you)@pheonixashtree @sassakitty @unabashedbookworm @vixen-uchiha @maggiecc12 @actualdisasterwoman @tired-butterfly @shizukiryuu @floralfi @imanerddealwith @northernbluetongue @krispydefendorpolice @toodaloo-kangaroo @dast218 @bluesoulblueheart @theatreandcomicfreak @disneyfoxuniverse @mindfulmagics @alwaysnumberonetruth @nyaabinch @jardimazul @lenamau @rosep16 @dramatic-squirrel @sonif50 @daminett4life @lulutheawkwardess @weird-pale-blonde-person @mooshoon @jeminiikrystal @mochegato @moonlightstar64 @dragonflyswing @silverwhiteraven @shamefullove @magic-miraculous @valeks-princess @heaven428 @mlbchaosqueen @winter-gardenflower @spicybelladonna @emo-elaine13 @vetilora @karukofox21 @my-name-is-michell

[theplanetprince]

Fanfiction Review

I can already tell this is gonna be super confusing bc I've been writing fic since I was 12 but have since gone through so many identity changes. But let's play anyway!

Thanks for the tag @redead-red

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

My current library is 8. I don't actually write fanfic too often unless a specific idea intrigues me-- or something in the fanon just doesn't line up with me. I do have at least 4ish more stories planned and maybe a revised version of an ancient story from when I was young. 2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

166,451! Pretty neato!

3. How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Uh, in no specific order,

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (lost to purging)

Doctor Who (you ain't gonna find these)

Sonic

NiGHTs into Dreams

Dead by Daylight (<3)

Danny Phantom (my beloathed) Supernatural (my other beloathed)

and uhhhh, I think a bunch of various other video games I can't remember. For the sake of brevity I'm gonna put the rest under the cut.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This is actually pretty funny bc I have so few fics released. I only get emails for certain ones all the time, so I wrote this part out by guessing, but I ended up not needing to change it. (also, don't read most of these; they're old and bad)

1. Schrodinger's Adolescent, 337 Kudos (Danny Phantom)

2. Teen Years and How to Survive Them, 97 Kudos (Secret Trio)

3. Two Fake Feds Come up the Laneway the other dayyyyyy, 56 Kudos (Letterkenny/Supernatural)

4. Brother's Keeper, 40 Kudos (Halloween, DBD)

5. Beginner's Guide to Destroying the Moon, 37 Kudos (Sonic)

5. Which of your fic do you want more attention for?

I'll be real here, I still enjoy most of the work I did for both Beach House Bummer, and Beginner's Guide to Destroying the Moon. I just wish I got more love for the latter bc I might be inspired to finish it lmao.

6. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really try to! I love the long rambly comments I get on Schrodinger's because I can feel those people are giving me the same passion I put into my work-- Though most of the time I get the generic "post more" or "update plz" which I dunno I'm grateful for the interaction. Still, I don't really want to repeat like "I'm trying my best, dude." about 12 times a day.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I'll be real I only have two completed fics rn-- but I can tell you I had this one fic that I wrote when I was fourteen where the ninja turtles had to burn down a lab full of half-born mutant embryos, and like I remember writing that and then going to middle school the next day like "They don't know I'm a literary genius."

8. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Probably the Letterkenny/Supernatural crossover-- I feel very strongly about SPN and how people take it way too seriously, so when I found out it was filmed in Canada. It used famous Canadian actors from the show Letterkenny, it felt way too good to pass up. I do hope to write in that space again when I'm feeling less depresso-espresso.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeah. It's probably a big reason why you'll never see the tmnt fics for a while. I also used to write a lot of OC stories, and this was back in 2014 so like those were def hit the hardest. I'm glad to say it's like... subsided for the most part. I don't get hate as much as I just get really confusing and creepy comments, which don't hurt my rejection-sensitive-ass as much.

10. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hahahaha, no.

I am kind of bad at writing it, and I don't really like writing it. Which yeah that makes sense. My friends sometimes when they find out I write fanfic as a joke they'll send me some of the worst examples smut they can find and to test my talent I'll try to rewrite it to make it some kind of titillating-- but alas it just isn't my forte. The cons of being an asexual I guess.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Uh, yes and no? I think I had one of my older fics stolen, retranslated, and then retranslated again to English? That was so long ago tho.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I'd love to give it a shot sometime.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Honestly, it's sonadow. I know it's cringe but I'm free, dammit. Outside of that I guess my favorite dynamic is jock/nerd, which you've probably gleaned from my resume here fhsdkjf.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I've been working on Teen Years and How to Survive them since I was 16, I only started making headway on it when I was 19-- so I feel like that speaks for itself hskjhg.

15. What are your writing strengths?

It's been told to me that I'm very funny and I write convincing dialog that captures a character's voice. Which is extremely flattering despite the fact that I feel like I'm tricking you all.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

probably scenery and landscape, if I'm honest. I also accidentally keep creating scenes just for the dialog instead of action or environment.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think as long as I can guess what they're saying from context clues, and the writer is courteous enough to include body language and the like, then it's mostly harmless. I love including a bunch of references in fic whether it's cultural, historical, or just like a quote from a movie or something so I have a bunch of tabs open regardless it wouldn't be too inconvenient for me to fire up google translate or something.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Probably Schrodinger's Adolescent, it really opened up a lot of doors for me in the DP fandom and I got to meet a lot of cool people because of it. It really cheered me up from a dark place. And despite me writing it initially out of anger and spite its grown into this soft thing that really means a lot to me.

20. What fic are you most proud of?

Honestly, I can't pick. I'm both embarrassed by them all and yet glad they bring people some form of comfort.

Uhhhh who to tag-- I don't really know

@ten0rreaper is the only one I can think of-- whoever else I guess can have at it. I'm not very good at these things lmao.

[ficsinhistory]

Analysis and Theories - Cobra and Mongoose/Better off Fred -  Disney finally learned how to balance comedy, emotion and action!

Cobra and Mongoose

Hiro and Fred's friendship! It's as cute as these two are always so close, not least because, as was established in the first episode, if the gang were to leave it would be just them. So these tips are cool to see from how they are friends and rely on each other.

The fact that the video game is the same as "Pray Date"! And this time, Fred really won, different from last time! And bonus point for everyone, including Baymax, to have a headphone!

The snakes!! The fact how they attack Fred and how Heathcliff intervenes is so amazing and well animated!! And how sordid and deadly they are!

The poison! Since snakes are robots, they have to throw the poison to be absorbed into the skin. And this happens in real life, there are substances that do it! It was a great recurring joke!

When Hiro comes to help and Heathcliff leaves a cell phone with a dramatic message even though he's barely there!

All the message in question! That butler is so dramatic and I love it!

The fact that Heathcliff knew how to shuffle tracking signals, he was a spy, so well played! Aside from the fact that Hiro took this as a personal challenge to his genial intellect, I love my pompous and intelligent son!

The restaurant where the first battle took place! It's so beautiful and the aesthetics of south asia and how it has influences beyond the Japanese in the city. Because San Franscisco really is full of other cultures and San Fransokyo being part Japanese doesn't erase that. Which is very cool.

Cobra. That's it, that's the whole point.

I love this villain!!! Everything about her is perfect! She is menacing, fun, smart and, as the name says, acts and moves like a snake! Outside I loved the design! And the whole sequence of conversation before the fight was the best! She remembered Momakase, but you can see the difference from her!

Reference to Mary POpPins! Eclipse WHO?!

Heathcliff fighting!! He has a sword in his umbrella and fights masterfully, all this is perfect and from how Fred is with a vase on his head during the fight and is paralyzed again!

In real life, Mongoose are natural predators of cobras and have a layer of fur that makes them immune to poison. So, well drawn writers, well drawn.

Cobra analysis. Unlike Momakase who steals objects, Cobra works on stealing technologies to steal objects, which is a good differential the two thieves. And how Hiro takes offense at his neurotransmitter being stolen. Not least because the last time this happened, his brother was killed. He must not have good memories of it.

Heathcliff's past itself! This, for those who do not know, is a reference to Alfred who was a spy before serving the Wanne. And the fact that he has this whole story with Boss Awesome, and saved the life of said hero in a volcano and how snake should have died and in the end Heathcliff ended up as a butler is cool.

"Who took these pictures?""You have not changed since then?"Hiro Hamada asking the right questions!

Mention to Boss Awesome. Rip Stan Lee.

And he explains it through a spy pen. Carmen Sandiego fans Rise UP!!!

Farewell! How Heathcliff loves the family he works for and Fred, whom he must see as a nephew and he having to leave to preserve that same family is sad. And how he makes Fred swear not to go after him is also sad, because Heathcliff had to use one of the things Fred loves most to make sure he doesn't follow him. It shows how important Fred is and how he knows that because Fred cares so much, he can't risk it.

The memories of Fred and how Heathcliff was with him from the beginning are touching. Fred as chaotic as he is, he really cares about who he loves. And from how his family sometimes travels a lot, it implies that the only parental figure was the Butler. And Heathcliff has no family outside the Fredericks.

It's lil Fred! It's cute!

Cobra's encounter with Mongoose! Cobra had so many robots and how it was on the roofs with the lights in the cities! This avoids the confusion of having people in the middle of the fight, as preserving identity and gives the fight drama on the roof™ !

Fred coming and " breaking” the oath. Oh, the old technical detail of that was a copy! And how he didn't steal the spotlight, thanks to the snakes. That was Heathcliff's past after all.

The final fight!!! From how Heathcliff changed clothes in the best Magic Girl style, with an effect phrase and everything, and in the fight with the umbrella and the giant snake?! It was all for me! He looks good in white!

Hiro helping!!! And of how, in the end it was Heathcliff who arrested Cobra having the spotlight from start to finish! Perfect!

The scary smile joke! I think people too!

Cobra in my top 3 of non-main villains!!

Better off Fred

The beginning has the reference of “guys,guys,guys” from Big Hero 7 (if I don't), but less lively.

Fred being extra™ when heartbroken and having it right in sight!

Baymax can now be a surgeon. Tadashi worked very well.

Honey wanting to know more and Gogo just begging not to. A classic!! Honey Lemon being the mother of the group as always. And Gogo just not getting paid enough!

Flashback! I love how Fred met Olivia. It was very Fred and having someone who liked rare comics is very something that would happen.

I love Olivia! She is super cute and I understand why Fred fell in love with her. She is funny, cool and is actively a nerdy girl, without the vibe of ”no like the other girls", which I quite liked. She is feminine, but not conventionally feminine, reads comics and no one in every episode talks about it. She is actively a nerd, with beanies, colored hair but no one points out that she is the "stranger" for it or she demeans other girls for not being like her. She is a girl who likes rare comics and with a good attitude! Thank You Disney!

The nerd crush music! And the whole gang balloon sequence.

The rejection and what was led to it. They talk about family until culminating in her revealing herself to be a Mole. But, let's be honest, Fred can be pretty chaotic, but he had spine to call the girl he liked right away for a date. Maybe Hiro can ask for some advice.

"Since when have you been there?"The writers recognizing the absurdity of some jokes and out-of-nowhere pops adds 10 years to my lifespan!

Everyone saying listening to Mole was a bad idea! But Fred is in love so he top! Stupid in love, huh?

The music of the transformation sequence speak just that!

The gang in fancy clothes!!! This is not training!!! They look beautiful! And man, Honey looked good in that dress and Hiro kill in that suit. My son looked beautiful! And points bonûs for giving him a real formal costume.

Baymax tie!!!

The arrival of Fred, or rather, Frederique. And how Honey tried to warn him that being himself is the best approach.

Fredsorna. That's a word in canon in BH6. That's... I didn't expect it.

It was all just very shameful when Fred wasn't himself.

Olivia not being traditionally female again. She wears a dress, but it is simpler and instead of high heels, she wears a pair of sneakers. And nobody says anything! Not to mention that I would use.

Points to Disney for showing that behaviors like imposing themselves on someone, invading personal space and acting like the other had no choice is NOT attractive. The media has done this for years and show, mostly to a male group, that being aggressive while flirting is cool. So Disney show showing that this is scary is all I want. I'm glad Olivia dumped her ex, including.

Mole is unbearable!! This kid is evil pure and Fred really got down for it. He really liked Olivia and wanted to spend time with her and gremiling ruined it!!! Besides paying Bluff was only low, even for him.

Olivia listening to everything from afar. She didn't want to leave him badly, she just went... fool.

When Supersonic Stu and Sue appeared! They may be bad, but that Stu has more family support than a lot of people!

Some may find it strange that everyone only delivers their belongings, but we have to remember that without the police and Big Hero 6, most people are defenseless and in the end they are still villains. They can hurt.

Fred saving the day with Olivia's help and using references! That's style!!!

She taking off her glasses and being a lousy actress. I love it.

Fred being honest with Olivia. He explaining everything and being vulnerable and explaining everything is very cute and open, being the opposite of her ex. And from how Olivia understands it is very cool and how good that it all ended well for them with a meeting of giant monster movies.

And Mole stuck on a piano! Please less Mole on eps!

Olivia / Fred will be interesting!

Conclusions and theories:

Cobra's coming back! Maybe after Hiro since he led him to his overthrow? She's a very rancorous villain. And definitely behind Fred and Heathcliff! Anyway, Disney I want to see her again!!! Maybe along with Momakase or even Sirque, who is another tech thief.

Heathcliff! He was amazing!! Best unofficial uncle!

Olivia!! Another one that will appear again!! And now Hiro and Fred can talk about their girls officially! I loved her and want to know more about this girl and the relationship between her and Fred!! And with the rest of the gang!! She's just super cute and I want to know more in general.

I... kind of noticed a pattern here. As much as Karmi as Olivia has names based on nature, more specifically plants and has positive characteristics. Olivia makes reference to olive trees and the name means “friendly”, “beauty” and “kind”. Karmi means "orchard, garden”,  "my vineyard “and other things like” hardworking“,” golden “and even”, ”generous". It would seem that the love interests of these heroes are amazing and brave people with names of a similar nature. Interesting.

She and Karmi would get along very well, by the way. You know, two fangirls.

I like how the two episodes focus on the theme of the season that seems to be family. And this can yield interesting things.

I have this theory even that the episodes will start to have more plot and complement each other more when all the villains of the hexagons appear and then, the grand Big bad (or the villainous driving force of the season) will appear, complementing the NBB.

So far we have most of the villains, just missing Momakase, and along with them,story lines related, with the theme family, that will converge even more. The NBB and the sisters has the theme of Brotherly Love, along with Hiro's conflict with the separation of the gang established in the first episode, apart from what may be the push to the Big Bad that I believe to be Braggtech, brought in the first episode and that I think will be developed in the episodes ahead, in addition to the

Hardlight and the Super duo brought the romantic love of a family to both Hiro and Fred, with Harlight taking an extra line on what may be Karmi's rise as a heroine and how all these changes in her will affect her and Hiro's relationship. The Supers have a strong relationship with Fred and Olivia.

Cobra too, but she may have a more forward role more related to Braggtech, in my opinion.

Apart from the other villains that remained from the second season. Of course, not everything will be connected, but the main plots yes.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[dear-selena]

Omg, if you’re feeling it could you make a Caught Web Handed part two? I loved part one sm!

Caught Web Handed (Pt. 2)

Peter Parker x Reader

Request: “Omg, if you’re feeling it could you make a Caught Web Handed part two? I loved part one sm!”

Summary: When a new Tumblr blogger who claims to be Spider-Man starts reblogging a ton of Spider-Man fanfiction, including yours, the community goes into a frenzy and you confront the boy who promised not to say anything. 

Warnings: Some swearing, this is literally so meta be warned

A/N: I would like to thank the anon who requested this two months ago! I’m sorry it took me so long to write this out! I genuinely didn’t know how to continue this story until recently. If you want me to continue this, please let me know! I could possibly write one more part to this, but only if you guys want it. 

Words: 1971

REQUESTS ARE OPEN 

Part 1

—————-

You love that Tumblr started the group chat feature, but damn, you wish you got notifications from it.

Yawning, you cover your mouth and suddenly crave your bed. Last night, you stayed up messaging a ton of bloggers in a new group chat someone created for your favorite web-slinging hero and didn’t even realize how late it was when the conversation whined down. 

The group chat is called “Them Spider-Man OCs 😩😍🕸🕷❤️💙” and is filled with a bunch of your mutuals. The entire night was spent complimenting one another on each other’s fanfictions, and sharing anything and everything about everyone’s OC’s. You couldn’t help the giddiness you felt when people told you how much they loved Trevor Trenton, your Spider-Man OC. 

Because Tumblr mobile refuses to send notifications when you get new messages, you stayed on the app for hours to make sure you were as involved in the conversation as possible. You knew you could have left the conversation at any moment, but you were just way too excited to finally bond with all your mutuals at once. 

Walking down the halls of Midtown High, you lazily stroll to your first class as if you had all the time in the world to get there. You hadn’t seen your friends yet this morning, making time go especially slow. Not knowing what else to do, you decide to open the Tumblr mobile app and check for new notifications in your group chat. To your surprise, a green circle appeared on the group chat photo someone edited of Spider-Man swinging through Queens with heart emojis all around him. 

You open the chat, and your heart jumps immediately. 

(Your Favorite Spider-Man Blog): Guys did TheOfficialSpiderMan account reblog your work too or is it just me?!?!

Suddenly frozen in place, you reread (Favorite Spider-Man Blog)’s message. With your heart bouncing in your chest, full of uncomfortable adrenaline, you quickly leave the chat and check messages and had to stop yourself from screaming. 

An account called TheOfficialSpiderMan had indeed reblogged your latest update on your Trevor Trenton fanfiction. 

Tapping on the blogger’s icon, you start investigating if this was truly the “Official” Spider-Man. The first thing you do is read the bio: 

“Yes, I’m the real Spider-Man XD. Still trying to figure out how to use this site so bear with me.

Queens, NY | Avenger | Science Nerd”

Looking at the blog’s avatar, you see that it’s a selfie that the hero took while swinging in the air. You’ve never seen a photo of Spider-Man like this before, but you couldn’t tell if it was edited or not. If this is a fake account, this person must be really good at photoshop… 

Scrolling through the blog, you notice that this person’s not only reblogged your fanfiction but almost all your mutuals too. You recognized some of the stories as one’s you’ve read prior and almost all of them were from people who were in the Spider-Man group chat with you. Eventually, however, you scrolled to the bottom of the blog and found a simple text post. 

“Hey Everyone! It’s me, Spider-Man. I’m just here to interact with you guys cause I’ve heard that I have fans on this site. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for supporting me. Love you all <3.” 

The post, although wholehearted and sweet, immediately fills you with worry. If this truly was Spider-Man, that means your favorite hero, the hero you’ve been fantasizing about through your writing, was reading your stuff. He was reading this personified version of himself that you created for your silly romantic pleasure, and that scares you shitless. A part of you feels exposed in a way you never thought possible, and even though your Tumblr username doesn’t quite give away your identity, you still feel extremely vulnerable. The thought of the man behind the mask seeing your work makes you feel quite uneasy, especially because you don’t know who the man behind the mask is. 

Suddenly, the bell for first-period rings, and you’re brought back to reality. As peers shuffle through the halls around you, you shove your phone in your pocket and pick up the pace to get to your first class. While walking, you couldn’t help but wonder Why Spider-Man chose to solely reblog fanfiction. There are plenty of Spider-Man Tumblr posts consisting of gif-sets, fan edits, and general news about him, so why fanfiction? 

It was as if Spider-Man has some sort of motivated intentions. 

——————

Peter Parker hits the reblog button on yet another well-written story about him. 

Well, better yet, him as a superhero. 

Ever since he found out that you write fanfiction about Spider-Man a couple of months back, Peter couldn’t stop wondering what else was written about him. After a self-debate for whether or not it’d be a good idea to actually make a Tumblr account and find your work, he decided to go for it. After all, he was pretty bored last night, and what better way to interact with fans that through a popular fandom website? 

So he created “TheOfficialSpiderMan” and immediately started reading fanfiction. 

He has to say, he was quite amazed at how talented his fans were. A lot of the stories and characters they created were so unique, and the plots they wrote up were quite clever! He instantly picked up on some tropes people would write about, including ones where the reader was Iron Man’s child (he has to admit, he found those stories quite meta). 

And after a ton of scrolling and reblogging, he came across a story about a version of Spider-Man named Trevor Trenton. He immediately knew that this story was yours, and took notice of your Tumblr name, (Your Tumblr blog name). He wanted to follow you but figured he should lay low right now. ‘I shouldn’t be giving certain fans special attention… especially if this certain fan is a good friend of his and possibly his crus-.’ 

“Hey, Peter!” 

Peter turns around to see Ned with his usual smile on his face. 

“Oh, Ned! Guess what?” Peter proceeds to shove his phone in his best friend’s hand. “I found (Y/N)’s Tumblr account!” 

Ned’s eyes go wide as he examines Peter’s phone, seeing a post with your blog name on it. “Oh my god, Peter,” Ned starts to laugh. “You did not just join Tumblr to find her fanfiction.” 

“Of course not,” Peter protests, going to show the blog account. “Spider-Man did.” 

Ned looks up at Peter with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. “Damn Peter,” Ned says sarcastically. “Didn’t think you’d be one to join fandom culture.” 

Peter rolls his eyes as the bell rings, indicating that second-period was about to start. Saying a quick goodbye to Ned, Peter quickly makes his way to his robotics class, a class that you just so happen to share with him. As Peter enters the room, he scans it and instantly spots you at one of the workshop tables, head buried in your phone, and wide-eyed. 

Peter smirks. He knows exactly what’s going on. 

He makes his way over you, and plops down in the seat next to you, causing you to look up at him in surprise. “Oh, hey Peter.” you squeak out, completely caught off-guard. 

Peter couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. The last time he saw you this flustered was when MJ caught you writing Spider-Man fanfiction back at his place, and he had to admit, you looked pretty cute. “Hey, (Y/N). What are you looking at?” 

You look back at your phone and quickly snooze the screen, shoving your phone in your pocket. “Oh, i-it’s nothing…” You say unconfidently, a blush appearing on your face. “Just a stupid Tumblr update.” 

“Oh?” Peter asks, knowing what you meant by ‘update’. “Does it have to do with Spider-Man?” He couldn’t help but push the conversation on you. He was too excited to see your reaction. 

“Actually, yeah.” You finally admit after a moment. “My mutuals and I are kinda freaking out cause a blog that claims to be Spider-Man is reblogging our stories. It’s weird.” 

“Really, weird?” He questions. “What makes that so weird?” 

“Why would a superhero go online just to read fanfiction. Superheroes shouldn’t even know about this kinda stuff. They should be focused on, I don’t know… saving the world or something. It’s just weird that he’s only reblogging fanfiction and-.” You cut yourself off when you look up at Peter and see he’s just sitting there, head propped up against his hand, leaning on the table with his elbow, sporting a knowing smirk of some sort. Confused at why he was looking at you like that, you almost question him. But that was when you started to connect the dots. 

It feels like Spider-Man has some motivated intentions. Peter Parker is intentionally talking about this with you. 

You squint your eyes at the boy in front of you. “Peter, did you tell Spider-Man about fanfiction?” 

Peter blinks, his smirk off his face. “W-what? No, I didn’t.” 

Your glare intensifies, and Peter sits up straight. “Are you lying to me? You just had your ‘I-know-something-you-don’t face on.” 

Peter swallows, suddenly nervous. He didn’t think you’d react like this. “I’m not lying, (Y/N). I did not tell Spider-Man about fanfiction.” 

You did… a couple of months ago… 

You look away, now glaring at the table. “Then explain how Spider-Man knows about fanfiction and why he only reblogs it?” 

Peter starts to sweat. “Uh, I-I don’t know. Maybe he likes to read?” 

“Or someone told him to find it?” You look back up at Peter, whose clearly uncomfortable, making it easier for you to believe that he’s lying. “Maybe while they were at their Stark Internship or something?” 

Peter mentally facepalms. He’s not getting out of this, is he? 

“(Y/N), please.” Peter pleads. “I promise I didn’t say anything to S-Spider-Man. And even if I did, why is it so bad? Why is it bad that he’s reading fanfiction?” 

“Because!” You shout, catching the attention of some of your classmates. Embarrassed, you force Peter to crouch down close to you so you can whisper. “The stories on Tumblr can get a bit uncanny. What if he finds smut about himself?” 

Peter raises an eyebrow. “What’s a smut?” 

You roll your eyes. “Exactly, and I’m NOT going into that right now.” You shudder, realizing what could happen if your favorite hero finds stories like… that.

Nevertheless, you push those thoughts out of your head and continue on. “But seriously Peter. You told me you wouldn’t tell him about this stuff, and how he’s reading a ton of it? Something doesn’t add up.” 

Peter wants to argue back, but he honestly doesn’t know what to say. He can’t assure you that your writing is good and that he’s enjoying seeing his fans’ creativity because he’d have to reveal his secret to you, and that’s the last thing he wants to do. Especially now. 

Before he knows it, your packing your stuff back up, getting out of your seat and slinging your backpack over your shoulder. “Find me when you can tell me the truth.” With that, you walk to the other side of the room and sit at a new table, just in time for the teacher to walk in and discuss the new project. 

Peter couldn’t help but mentally beat himself up. Was doing all this a mistake? He genuinely just wanted to find your work and actually interact with his fans. He never expected it to backfire like this. Now he has to find a way to assure you he wasn’t technically lying, all while keeping his identity a secret. With all the thoughts racing through his mind, there was one that stood out: 

He fucked up.

————–

-Peter Parker Tag List-

@sweetcoffeeblandtea // @house-arya // @jovialpeanut // @bookstoreblossom // @jackiehollanderr

-Marvel Tag List-

@sammghgecko

-Permanent Tag List-  

@mindset-jupiter // @romance-geek // @imcharishope // @fakindob // @cutiekoa // @wowursofunny // @cals-cigarette // @supernerdycookietrashblr // @delicately-important-trash // @unlikelygalaxygive

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

13 Queliot recs 4/4

of places where you thought that love would be found by @margosfairyeye

I’m not much for soulmates, but that means that I’m often fond of stories that start off with soulmates and soulmate marks, then do something weird with it.  This is a great example of that subgenre; Quentin has a mark that’s unlike any other (a nice parallel to his canon problem of being a Nothingmancer for so much of his life); Eliot has Margo’s mark.  And yet, and yet, and yet.  Obviously this is one of those rewrite-the-stars stories; it’s not really full of surprises, but it’s lush and sensual and draws you in, laying out the longing and the edge of hopelessness and then the hope in a very visceral, intimate kind of way.  This one really could do almost anything and scrape by on sheer aesthetic quality, but I think what it does is exactly the right call.  It’s not terribly long, and I’d love to see sequels; I think it’s an interesting universe, and I’d like to see their in-universe nontraditional relationship unfold further.

* His name is Eliot, he says, and Quentin doesn’t think he knows a nicer name.  Quentin can’t stop looking at Eliot’s form, his long legs and the fabric wrapping closely against his chest; but more than that he can’t stop looking at his eyes.  Quentin remembers some cheesy quote about the eyes being the window to the soul. He thinks it might be less bullshit that he’d thought. 

Quentin watches Eliot’s eyes look him up and down, and he feels excited, and confused, and slightly nauseous.  He remembers something someone told him, recently, about how the first time they saw their soulmate, it was like being hit simultaneously with the flu and a contact high.  Quentin doesn’t feel dissimilar to that description. 

He tries to look at Eliot’s hands, his arms as they walk, but Eliot doesn’t give him a lot of time for study.  It’s presumptuous to ask someone what their soulmate mark says, most people consider it slightly personal information (with the exception of people like Julia who just give no fucks). But Quentin thinks that if Eliot has a picture, like his, he’ll be able to tell from a quick glance, and he can’t figure out a way to phrase asking that, anyway. 

He can barely contain how excited he feels as they walk, and have snippets of conversation, and his wondering grows into full-on hope.  Eliot opens a door and Quentin finally catches enough of a glimpse. It’s on the wrong side of Eliot’s arm for him to see clearly, but Quentin can definitely see a distinct letter ‘M’.  So not him, then.  *

press your love into my palm by @propinquitous

There are a lot of Mosaic stories in the fandom, many of which share the basic plot of “they have sex in the Mosaic timeline.”  And a lot of them are really good!  I picked this one because it’s a stand-out example for me; it really just picks up from the moment of That Kiss and just keeps going, so what you’re going to get is what you expect.  But I just think it’s so beautifully done, the sweet edges of humor, Quentin’s shivery, hopeful boldness, Eliot being so blown away at how much he’s sold Quentin short in his mind.  I love a story that could seamlessly be canon, and this is exactly that story -- no one can tell me it didn’t happen just like this, because I read it, and I am a believer.  Just a blue-ribbon, five-star, standing-ovation They Have Feelingsy Sex story.

* Eliot pulled him in without hesitation. In some former life he'd been embarrassed of this kind of tenderness, save for maybe with Margo. It was always in him, though, and Quentin had been tugging at its thread for years. He'd almost completely unraveled in the time they'd spent working on the mosaic; every night that Quentin spent curled against him, desperate to quell his fear and frustration, frayed his edges. By the time Quentin kissed him, Eliot felt as threadbare as the clothes he'd arrived in.

Then, after. The second kiss was less chaste, more everything else. Eliot opened his mouth against Quentin's and ran his thumb over his cheek, felt him go slack under his touch. He tested, bit at Quentin's lower lip gently and tugged at the shorter hairs toward his nape. Eliot curled his fingers over Quentin's and he could feel the slight shudder as the arm supporting Quentin buckled and threatened to give out.

"Hey," Eliot said again when he finally pulled away. He didn't sit back and he didn't take his hand from Quentin's face. Instead he breathed in Quentin's heavy exhales and leaned his forehead against his, watching and waiting until Quentin opened his eyes.

"Hey," Quentin finally whispered.

"This conversation is riveting," Eliot said. Quentin smiled then and, Eliot thought, looked almost bashful.

"Well, I mean," he managed to say before he pushed forward again and didn't stop, his mouth firm against Eliot's until he had pushed him back and straddled his lap.

"Should I keep talking?" Quentin asked, running his hands up Eliot's chest. *

Shine Through My Memory by PanBoleyn, @eidetictelekinetic

This is kind of two separate stories in one, covering all of season 4, beginning with the alternate Brian and Nigel identities as they meet and fall in love, vaguely aware that there’s more to their connection than they can make sense of, and dropping into an alternate Monster plotline.  I don’t always like s4 stories, just because -- all the reasons and all -- but this is a really good Quentin, stubborn and fierce and heartbroken, juggling for all he’s worth to keep the layered memories of Brian/Nigel and the Mosaic timeline and the current clusterfuck separate and under control before he snaps under the weight of them.  It’s a little heavy, but there’s one chapter left to go, and I’m really looking forward to the release of the ending.  You really can’t get a more balanced and sturdy combination of dark canon!fic and romantic fix-it -- it’s truly the best of both worlds.

* “Colored chalk on my hands,” Brian murmurs, tasting the vanilla-caramel-white chocolate of his latte but remembering the taste of plums instead. He doesn’t even like plums, which makes the whole thing weirder, because in this not-memory he does. “I don’t understand any of this. Tell me it’s as weird for you, because I -”  A long-fingered hand closes over his own, and Brian looks up into gold-hazel eyes that he knows/doesn’t know and sees - all of it, reflected back. “I don’t get it either,” Nigel says, voice soft. “But I think maybe I’m better at just rolling with the punches than you are, hmm?” “I don’t. Roll with, with anything,” Brian says, and his voice isn’t steady anymore. “I don’t know how, my life is a predictable bore and I like the predictable part if not the bore part. But I think you have to tolerate being bored to keep things predictable so. So I tolerate it.” Tolerates a job he hates because teaching is better than a cubicle at a 9 to 5, and because the paintings and the newly-begun manuscripts that are Brian’s only love won’t pay the bills. “I’ve dated the same woman off and on six times because neither of us care enough to say no the next time one of us is lonely enough to offer, there’s been a man or two in the off points but no one. Nothing like -”

My dreams make no sense, and I feel more in them than I’ve felt in years. It’s not something he can say out loud, though. *

Veins Fit to Bursting by @amagpie

It’s a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fusion!  It’s a REALLY GOOD SMART WONDERFUL Buffy fusion!  Everyone kind of maps onto BtVS characters in a clever way, but it’s by no means a remake -- they remain very much themselves.  BtVS is obviously deep in the DNA of The Magicians, in terms of layering worldbuilding on top of an essential bone structure of coming-of-age, and this story is just an absolute bullseye in terms of understanding that.  Quentin’s general depression encompasses but isn’t limited to his feelings of being the useless sidekick, and Eliot’s transformation from mousy nerd to the undead version of the Champagne King is not only very William/Spike, but it builds this lovely foundation of connection between him and Quentin, neither of whom are living quite the life they once imagined they would.  There’s a very quarterlife-crisis vibe to the whole thing, which is perfectly in harmony with both shows, and a light touch to the voice that suits this slightly lost Quentin perfectly -- honestly, it may be my very favorite version of Quentin’s inner voice.  It’s early days yet in this WIP, but it’s fully earned my confidence in the first few chapters, and I am 100% down for the ride.

* “Okay, so I guess you could maybe say I’m a vampire hunter. But it’s not like it’s my job or anything,” Quentin pushes out in a rush.

A slow smile spreads across Eliot’s face: scary and genuine. There seems to be real interest in his eyes. Eliot settles himself onto a bench, patting the seat next to him. Quentin settles himself on the very far end of the bench to put at least a few feet between them. He’s down for a chat, not to get murdered.

“So it’s an extracurricular?” Eliot prompts. Quentin chuckles with how close to the truth it actually is, looking away. They do have an official college club to make research sessions easier -  the Ancient Sumerian Culture Club . They have a budget and everything - which Quentin submits as treasurer - although it more often gets used for pizza and wooden pegs than flyers. 

“More like a duty. Or well, not exactly my duty.” Quentin furrows his brows. “Do you remember Julia?”

“I think so? Your friend, really tiny…?”

“Yeah, so, um, Julia is the slayer.”

Quentin looks back at Eliot to take in his reaction to the news. Eliot’s eyes widen, his hands tightening for a second on the bench beneath him. Something like pride coils up in Quentin. 

“Huh,” Eliot finally says. *

[johnathan-cowden]

Subdivisions

There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Rush will always be my favourite progressive rock band. It’s part of the reason why this essay isn’t about an entire album, but only one song (and this won’t be the last essay I do on Rush). Growing up, almost all the music I heard was in my dad’s car, and he was very big on classic rock when I knew him, particularly prog. Because of that I have a love of bands like Pink Floyd and Queen that lives on to this day, but strangely enough, apart from Spirit of the Radio I never heard any Rush. I don’t at all understand why. Geddy Lee is my favourite bassist of all time, one of my favourite vocalists, and overall my second favourite musician (after Elena Tonra of course). Alex Lifeson is one of the most creative guitarists the world has ever seen, knowing exactly when to hold back and play an emotional melody, and when to let loose and just shred like a God of metal. A lot of the time, he could do both at the same time. Neil Peart is the best drummer of all time. He just is. Show someone 2112, or YYZ, or La Villa Strangiato, and ask them if they can find a better example of an incredible rock drummer. They won’t be able to, because there isn’t one, and I won’t be told otherwise. Apart from this though, he was also the band’s primary lyricist. After joining the band in 1974, he wrote some of the greatest lyrics ever written, concerning subjects from philosophy, to politics, to literature, the nature of freedom, pretty much any deep subject you can imagine. One of my favourite songs he ever wrote lyrics for is Subdivisions, and I believe it goes some way to showing what an incredible lyricist he was.

Rest in Peace, Neil Peart

 “Nowhere is the dreamer or the misfit so alone”

In the case of this song, there’s pretty much no need for any backstory or context, or any of the other excuses I use for not getting straight to the point. This song is about the tedium of growing up in a suburban environment. It’s very much a timeless song as it was released in 1982 and I as well as many other people my age still relate to it very easily. What this song very cleverly does is compare the physicality of the suburbs to the people living within it, being on the fringes of the city and the country, there’s often a lack of identity, or at the very least, a lack of an interesting one.

The music video tells the story of one of the misfits mentioned in the lyrics, living in the suburbs and never feeling as if he fits in. It’s a little bit funny to watch the video in 2020 and see all the old cars, the stereotypical 80s high school nerd. This is because the ‘subdivisions’ the song mentions don’t only refer to the suburbs themselves, but as I said, the people there. When I said the people in the suburbs had a lack of identity, that wasn’t entirely true. I meant the parents. The teens in the video are the main characters, but when you imagine stereotypical 80s parents, there really aren’t any different types.  But with teens, there’s goths, jocks, nerds, cheerleaders, so many different subdivisions of the culture. This is why the video is almost funny to watch, we exist in a time where the fragmentation of popular culture means this isn’t a problem for teens anymore. When I was 13, I was seeing the end of this idea. There were 3 subdivisions at my school: kids who liked football (or soccer if you’re American), kids who liked heavy metal, and other. I was very much in the metal subdivision, but that’s a story for another essay. The point is, it’s a far cry from the stereotypical tribal nature of the song, and all media from the 80s. I’m 19 now, and the subdivisions have all but disappeared. Kids younger than me don’t feel the need to section themselves off into different groups that seemed to be at war with the others, and that’s a very good thing in my opinion.

Despite all this, Subdivisions is still somewhat relatable due to the nature of the suburbs themselves. The environment of the suburbs absolutely does not encourage any kind of individuality and can actually be seen to dissuade it. The houses are boring. It’s where school is. Its where you go to your soul-crushing Saturday job so you can earn a tiny amount of money you aren’t even sure if you need. But the city, that’s a different story. I live in a suburb of Manchester, England, and I feel very lucky because of this. It’s a cultural centre, a beautiful city with a rich history of music, art, and science. When I’m in Manchester, I can almost forget that 7 miles away lies the most boring place in the world that I have to return to once the fun is over. I don’t know anything about Toronto, where the music video was filmed, but I imagine that the story is pretty similar over there. And what about the far unlit unknown? Well, the clue is in the name. There’s not much out there, but why should that stop anyone from being interested? It’s different to what you know living in the suburbs, and often that’s enough.

Even the instrumentation is a misfit in the music of the time. For the first time in a Rush song, the bass, drums, and guitars were all rhythm instruments, while the synth and vocals handled the melody. This did mean that Geddy Lee was singing, playing bass, and playing keyboard all at the same time, which really is a testament to the man’s skill. However, this means that the song didn’t sound like any other at the time, let alone by Rush. It has 2 keyboard solos, and one guitar solo (even though I would say that the bass steals the show during the guitar solo, but I’m obviously biased). I’ve heard it said that you can trace the roots of the genre futurefunk back to this song, and while I’m not sure I agree with that, the influence of the song is clear. The synth was not a widely explored instrument at the time of the song, and Rush definitely helped with its popularity.

This song feels like a friend that understands you. Even though it wasn’t written for us in our time, its still kind of relatable. If you feel alone, like no one understands you, that you can’t express yourself or your identity, maybe take a listen to this song. It understands you. It knows how you feel, as does everyone else in the past, present, and future who have felt the same.

[cloudybookash-blog]

25-50

Soooo… I take forever to do these things, sooooorrryyyy!

26. What would your character say their best trait would be?

Idk, probs that she’ s nice or something? I literally have never thought about how my characters feel about themselves??? 

Great start!

27. What is your character’s greatest fear? Deep, irrational?

That she ends up accidentally, or even intentionally, like her father in her attempt to over throw his rule. I’d say she’s terrified to become a hypocrite, all these years facing against her family and the way the rule/conduct themselves to end up doing or being exactly like them would be nightmare inducing for her.

28. What is currently motivating your character to stay with the party?

She killed the other party… In all fairness, it was an accident.

But for real, before meeting her current Crew™ her biggest fear was leading her Old Party and being shunned by the very peoples with who she was coming to aid/save. Of course, she stays with them because at the end of the day she loves them and enjoys their company but there are obviously a lot of other reasons to stay: she doesn’t know the land (her Old Party were going to teach her when they reached ‘safety’), she doesn’t have any ties on the new planet apart from a single group of rebels from her home world who aren’t the easiest on the eyes, she hardly speaks the language or understands the customs/culture of this new planet, and probably even more that I haven’t thought about. Bottom line is that she needs them.

On a happy note, they need her too.

29. What are your character’s hobbies and interests outside of their class?

I’m translating these q’s for a book and I don’t know enough about dnd (or my fucking characters for that matter) to answer.

30. What would most people think when they first see your character?

Tall. Like, freakishly tall.

31. What stereotypical group role does your character play in the party? (The Mom, the Mess, the Comic Relief, etc. Optionally: What role would your character play in the “Five Man Band” structure?)

Well, she’s technically the leader I guess. It’s kind of her quest they’re all on but at the same time the others tend to take her place leading the sub groups while she figures out a plan. I guess she might be The Man in The Chair or Behind the Curtain.

32. What is your character the most insecure about?

Maybe her intelligence, like not being the smartest person in the room. She’s known (even on the new planet) for being super strong and a great fighter, but she detests that viewpoint because it makes it difficult for people (and herself) to differentiate between the ‘bad guys’ in her family and the ones who’ve been fighting the Good Fight, like her.

33. What person does your character admire most?

I think I’ve answered this before and it had something to do with liking people who could be strong and caring at the same  time. Or something sappy like that.

34. What does your character admire and dislike the most about the player character sitting to your left?

Translating for a book her so I’ll answer about how my character feels about the other four members of the main cast:

J: PRO: very understanding, never have to explain or defend herself to him - he always gets it. CON: not who she thought he would be.ME: PRO: loyal, despite having their little spats, at the end of the day ME would die for her. CON: not very understanding.HH: PRO: funny, can relax the whole mood at a moments notice. CON: reckless, is usually the only reason they get into trouble.M: PRO: is the closest to her in age and as a result is like her best friend, there’s almost nothing she hates about M. CON: I literally can’t think of one Z could have against M.

35. Why is your character’s lowest stat their lowest (the in-character reason, not “because there’s no reason for a wizard to have 16 strength, duh”)?

Not applicable.

36. What would be your character’s theme song/favorite band/favorite genre of music?

Something folky? 

37.  What stereotypical role would your character play in a high school AU/if they attended a normal high school? (Nerd, jock, bully, goth, etc.)

A toss up between the Loner or the Class President.

38. What treasure/item/artifact that your character has collected during the adventure is the most important to them?

She doesn’t/can’t really collect stuff, survival mode, y’know.

39.  Is there any particular weapon, item, etc. that your character longs to find?

No? Her fight isn’t after something material.

40.  Where does your character feel the most at home?

I think I’ve tried answering this before and couldn’t answer, probably at her Uncle’s place though, because it has the best memories for her.

41. Does your character care about how they’re perceived by others? How do they change themselves to fit in with other people?

I think yes, as she’s keeping her identity a secret. As a result I’d say she tends to distance herself out of fear of slipping up that she’s related to the enemy. Her entire plan rest on being supported by a lot of people and the idea that where she comes from could hurt her chances of success would be stressful.

42. What does your character think is the true meaning of life?

Broooo, this too deep for 10:41am.

43. What is your character’s scent? (Bonus points for a description that sounds like it could be from a bad [or awesome] fanfic.)

lol, B.O. probably, she’s a preteen running around in the woods.

44. Does your character think more with their heart or their brain?

Heart.

45. What is your character’s most recent or frequent nightmare?

I don’t wanna be cliché and say the murder of her older brother and mother, or her fear of failing overall but… I’m gonna be cliche and say those are the two things she probably has nightmares over. 

46. What opinion does your character have on [CERTAIN ESTABLISHED GROUPS/AUTHORITIES IN THE GAME WORLD]? (Dragonmarked Houses, royal crown, etc.)

There are a lot of little, influential groups that she comes across and some of them live up to her expectations and others don’t. Overall, she has the opinion that any group in a position of power needs to do more harm than good, and act as both protector and provider to their people. That’s regardless of whether they’re just a random clan that walk around together, or the ‘police-type unit’ in this world, or the political rulers, she doesn’t care how small your reach is, if you rule - you better do it well.

47. How did your character spend their childhood? Where did they grow up/who were their childhood friends?

Pretty sure I’ve answered this before? Um, just recap I guess - she was born second heir to the throne on her world, spent her childhood hanging out with her Guard, learning and training under royal tutors and trainers. Fucked up along the way and got her ass banished, was sad, lived with her uncle who subsequently became her teacher for everything, and spent quality time with her brother as a result, she was then welcomed back out of banishment for a short period of time before she ‘defected’. And, technically, she’s still a child, so the contents of the book are her ‘growing up’ so to speak.

48. What aspect of your character’s future are they most curious about? (If they could know one thing about the future, what would it be?)

Whether they’ll die before they achieve their goals. Morbid I know, but this is war.

49. What colors are associated with your character?

Blue, Black, Purple and White.

50. Who in the party would your character prioritize rescuing, in dire circumstances?

Probably M or HH, both J and ME prove themselves to be able to get out of any situation on their own but sometimes HH can get overwhelmed or distracted and then can’t save himself and M has yet to prove herself as capable enough to handle anything that comes her way.

[ubourgeois]

Top 30 Films of 2018

I’m actually getting one of these out at a fairly reasonable time! I’m a champion.

Compared to last year, I would say 2018 had fewer films that I really loved, that shook me and immediately registered as important - but also, more films that have grown on me over time, that were clever and inventive in ways that convince me to look past their shortcomings (or reevaluate if they are shortcomings at all). Plenty of odd, perhaps imperfect movies made it far up the list, and I think I ended up privileging that weird streak more than usual this year. But hopefully that makes for interesting reading here.

I found making this list that a couple of the big arthousey hits of the year (Eighth Grade, Burning, The Rider, and others) ended up slipping into the basement of the top 50. Keep an eye out for a rejoinder post following this in a couple days where I hash out my thoughts on those. For now, top 30 after the jump:

30. Unsane dir. Steven Soderbergh

Remember when Tangerine came out and everyone was like, “wow I can’t believe this was shot on an iPhone” and it was a whole thing? Well, I can believe that Unsane was shot on an iPhone, and that’s really for the better. Ever the innovator, Soderbergh follows Sean Baker’s lead by taking full advantage of the logistical advantages and distinctive appearances of iPhone-shot footage, putting together a film that uses its hardware not as a flashy obstacle to be overcome but as a driver of its look and feel, proving at least for now that mobile-shot films are viable (though we’ll see how his next one turns out). The film itself is good too - Claire Foy gives a wonderfully prickly performance, and the claustrophobic visuals make for a great psychological thriller.

29. Cold War dir. Paweł Pawlikowski

Expanding on the aesthetic territory he explored with Ida, Pawlikowski brings another black & white, Polish-language period piece about identities split between different (religious, political) worlds. Cold War is the more complicated and perhaps less focused film, but also the more alluring one, with a luscious love story, incredible music (Łojojoj...), and great, showy performances from Joanna Kulig and Tomasz Kot. In other words, it’s luxurious, romantic Euro-arthouse fare. Probably best watched with a full glass of wine in hand.

28. Ready Player One dir. Steven Spielberg

A film that many accused of “pandering” to audiences for its many blink-and-you’ll-miss-it nods to 80s nostalgia and gaming culture, Ready Player One was on the contrary seemingly uninterested in anything of the sort. It managed to accomplish something more meaningful by packing the film so dense with nerd-bait that it becomes just texture and noise - Tracer popping up in the background of random scenes ends up being less of Overwatch reference and more of a piece of plausible set dressing in a VR social media hub. This contributed to RPO being not only a technically impressive but a visually overwhelming effects film, packaged around a seemingly knowing 80s blockbuster pastiche (the story, the character types, even the music cues were too old-fashioned to be on purpose). A film both smarter and easier to like than the discourse around it suggested.

27. Widows dir. Steve McQueen

I do really wish that McQueen would go back to making demanding, brutal films like Hunger, but if he simply has to become a commercial filmmaker I guess I don’t mind this. Surely the ensemble film of the year, with the entire cast firing on all cylinders - Daniel Kaluuya as the sadistic enforcer/campaign manager in particular impresses, though naturally Viola Davis, Elizabeth Debicki, Cynthia Erivo, and even Colin Farrell make for compelling characters in this twisty, nervy heist film. The action scenes are all impressively mounted (if a bit few and far between) and there are enough McQueen-esque florishes to keep things interesting in the interim (that long car scene!). Great moody popcorn stuff.

26. An Elephant Sitting Still dir. Hu Bo

Elephant has gotten a lot of press for two reasons: its nearly four-hour length and its director’s untimely death shortly after its completion. The length is important because it beats you into submission, forcing you to accept its rhythm and smothering you in tight focus on its main characters until you feel like it’s your own POV (I wasn’t really into it until, uh, the two hour mark, but then somehow I was hooked). Hu Bo’s death is important because knowing that, the sensation of being trapped, pressured, and disoriented by the Current State of China (ever the popular subject matter) feels all the more palpable and, maybe unfortunately, grants the film some extra layer of authority, or at least urgency. If I ever have the time or energy, I would love to revisit this film - I expect it will one day be seen as a landmark.

25. Make Me Up dir. Rachel Maclean

A bizarre little bit of sugary pop-feminist techno-dystopia, pulling off a sort of cinematic cousin to vaporwave by way of Eve Ensler. What unfolds is pretty insane, involving dance numbers, incomprehensible lectures on dodgy gender politics, and sets that look pulled out from a cheap children’s TV show. It’s definitely a marmite film - how well you connect with this will depend heavily on your tolerance for clearly-fake CG, well-trodden feminist talking points, and pastels - but for those with the appetite for this brand of political kitsch then this is just about the best version of itself imaginable. 

24. Liz and the Blue Bird dir. Naoko Yamada

Naoko Yamada out Naoko Yamada-s herself. A standalone spinoff of Hibike! Euphonium that focuses on members of the secondary cast, Liz makes good on the sensitive, subtly-executed love story that the show ultimately failed to produce (not quite Adolescence of Utena-tier course correction, but we’ll take it). This is a film propelled by the tiniest gestures - a hand tensing behind the back, a nervous flicker of the eye, a cheerful bounce in the step - in that way animation can provide that seems not incidental but hugely, blatantly filled with meaning. While A Silent Voice was a great breakthrough for Yamada as an “original” feature, it’s Liz that feels like the more mature film, and a promising indicator for what lies ahead.

23. Sew the Winter to My Skin dir. Jahmil X.T. Qubeka

Maybe the most surprising film of the year is this, an action-biopic about John Kepe, a South African Robin Hood figure, that almost entirely eschews spoken dialogue in favor of visual storytelling, physical acting, and clever audio design. But this is not some pretentious, austere arthouse film substituting gimmicks for actual character; Sew the Winter to My Skin is an engaging, fascinating, and unexpectedly accessible historical epic, prioritizing mythic bigness over simple recitation of fact. While it demands some patience at first (with no dialogue, it takes a bit for the film to properly introduce its cast), it quickly shows itself to be an inventive, exciting, and occasionally funny adventure that proves Qubeka as a truly exciting voice in South African cinema.

22. Mom and Dad dir. Brian Taylor

Forget Mandy, THIS is the crazy Nic Cage movie of the year. A slick, rapid-fire horror comedy that feels almost like a music video at points, Mom and Dad has what’s surely Cage’s best unhinged performance in years as well as a great, more restrained turn by Selma Blair. The violence is ludicrous, the premise is nutty, and the sense of humor is utterly sick - that the film manages to squeeze out a surprisingly coherent commentary on suburban family life on top of this is a minor miracle (a scene where Cage destroys a pool table proves strangely thoughtful). For all the broadly acclaimed “serious” horror films in recent years, like this year’s kind of boring Hereditary, groan-filled A Quiet Place, and mostly incoherent Suspiria, I more appreciate this breed of deranged, funny, and tightly focused effort. It doesn’t need to be that deep.

21. Good Manners dir. Marco Dutra, Juliana Rojas

I’m going to mark this write-up with a **spoiler warning**, as I think it’s basically impossible to talk about this film without giving the game away. Good Manners has one of the best genre switcheroos in recent years, starting off as a proper Brazilian class drama (think Kleber Mendonça Filho) with a lesbian twist before explosively transforming into a horror movie that reveals a hidden monster-coming-of-age story that’s nearly unrecognizable as the same film from an hour before. As delightful as this bit of narrative sleight of hand is, it can’t justify a good film alone, which is where the great lead performance by Isabél Zuaa and the mesermizing, inventive matte paintings of the São Paulo skyline come into play, making this fantastical, genre-bending film a true original of the year.

20. The Miseducation of Cameron Post dir. Desiree Akhavan

There’s a tendency in the queer teen film genre to sometimes drift towards miserablist portrayals of growing up; to emphasize the hardship, nonunderstanding, and isolation to the expense of other experiences. Cameron Post manages to avoid this path even as it explores the dreadful premise of life in a conversion camp by balancing the solidarity, humor, and defiant joy hidden along the edges of the camp experience with the cruel, dehumanizing nature of the place. The film works, then, not only as a statement against conversion therapy and the real harm it does to all participants, but also as a lively, triumphant teen movie that feels more powerful than the lazy, doom-and-gloom approach.

19. Minding the Gap dir. Bing Liu

Few films capture the particular small city Midwest atmosphere quite like this one, a very raw documentary that feels very much like the first feature it is - but in a good way. Cut together from years of Liu’s amateur footage as well as new material of its subjects (the director and two of his old friends), a documentary that at first seems to be about the local skateboarding culture stretches out to many other topics: domestic violence, race relations, middle-American economic anxiety. The film, perhaps because of its closeness to the director and his relative inexperience, manages to take on a quick-moving scattershot approach, weaving stream-of-consciousness from one topic to the next, while still giving each the time and weight it deserves. 

18. The Green Fog dir. Evan Johnson, Galen Johnson, Guy Maddin

A hard film to sum up, though at its heart not a terribly complicated one. Ostensibly a very loose reconstruction of Vertigo using clips from other material shot in San Francisco, from The Conversation to San Andreas to Murder, She Wrote, this new, uh, thing from Maddin and the Johnsons is a short, sweet, and really quite funny collage less interested in slavishly reenacting its inspiration than making funny jokes with movie clips. Some highlights include Rock Hudson carefully watching an *NSYNC music video on a tiny screen, a long sequence admiring Chuck Norris’ face that doesn’t seem to match any particular part of Vertigo, and a number of scenes of dialogue with all the speech cut out, leaving only awkward pauses and mouth noises. It’s high art!

17. Sorry to Bother You dir. Boots Riley

Boots Riley’s transition from long-standing underrated rapper to breakout auteur has been wild to witness. Sorry to Bother You is certainly one of 2018′s most original and distinctive films (what other film is it like, exactly?), and any complaints about unsubtle politics or overpacked narrative can be easily counterbalanced with the film’s sheer verve and oddball energy. Like Widows, it’s another of the great ensemble pieces of the year - Lakeith Stanfield and Tess Thompson are great as usual, and of the supporting cast Armie Hammer emerges as the standout with an incredibly funny halfway-villainous turn, plus a great bit of voice casting with David Cross. Leading candidate for this year’s Film of the Moment.

16. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse dir. Robert Persichetti Jr., Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman

The problem with comic book movies a lot of the time is that they’re somehow too embarrassed to own their source material. Into the Spider-Verse succeeds because it emphatically embraces its roots, not only visually (the cel shading, impact lines, and even text boxes that make up the film’s look) but also narratively, by adopting the multiverse concept in earnest and milking it for comedic and dramatic effect. It’s an incredibly innovative (not to mention gorgeous) animated film that not only raises the standard but expands the scope of superhero films, giving new hope to a genre that has been stuck spinning its wheels for years. Plus, it has probably the only post-credits scene actually worth the effort, which is a very special sort of victory.

15. Museo dir. Alonso Ruizpalacios

A playful, thoughtful heist film that gets the actual heist out of the way as soon as possible. Two suburban twenty-somethings pull off a daring robbery of Mayan artifacts from the National Museum of Anthropology in Mexico City, then set off on an ill-fated roadtrip to fence the goods. There’s a certain magic to this film, in its approach that is at once totally reverent and mythologizing but also eager to take the piss out of everything (the recurring motif of Revueltas’ The Night of the Mayas suite does both), and in how it turns this story into something of a love letter to the history and geography of Mexico. Very mature, well-balanced filmmaking in Ruizpalacios’ second feature.

14. BlacKkKlansman dir. Spike Lee

The best Spike Lee joint in a long, long time. It taps into the freewheeling, confrontational energy of his best work, but almost as a career victory lap as he makes a game out of outfoxing Klan members. There’s plenty of humor and tension here, with a great, dry leading duo in John David Washington and Adam Driver, and a funny turn from Topher Grace (!) as David Duke. Even if it does play it a bit safe with an easy target and wraps up a bit too easily (a quick flash-forward to Charlottesville as a postscript notwithstanding), it should be fine, I think, for a film to indulge in the simple pleasure of overcoming obvious villains in a glorious fashion. For all the recent films that give nuanced and serious takes on racism in America, one ought to be about the joy of blowing up the KKK.

13. Mirai dir. Mamoru Hosoda

Since he’s started making original features, Hosoda has been taken with relatively high-concept storylines, from his “debut” The Girl Who Leapt Through Time to Wolf Children, but Mirai is certainly his most ambitious yet. Nearly every choice about the film is a bit weird: from the unusual, compact layout of Kun’s home to Kun’s very believable, nearly alienating (to an older audience) childish behavior to the simply bizarre logistics and metaphysics of Kun’s fantastic adventures. The time- and space-travel antics Kun and Mirai get up to never seem entirely literal or entirely imagined, somewhere between childish fable and psychological sci-fi, a mixture that culminates in a surprisingly existential climax for an unabashed children’s film. After the quite safe The Boy and the Beast, it’s exciting to see Hosoda branch out into such a complicated and strange project, certainly the most daring animated feature of the year.

12. Support the Girls dir. Andrew Bujalski

A bubbly, sensitive, and lightly anarchic workplace comedy in that most essential of American institutions: the Hooters-flavored sports bar off the highway. Bujalski continues to prove himself an observant and funny writer, putting together a fascinating ensemble of characters brought to life by a perfectly-cast ensemble (Regina Hall is flawless as advertised, and Haley Lu Richardson brings us one of the most adorable characters in cinema). I don’t think I’ve seen a more charming film about workers’ solidarity and the lively communities that find their niche in liminal spaces. 

11. First Reformed dir. Paul Schrader

Edgy priests are in a certain way low-hanging fruit; the tension is automatic, the contradiction inherently compelling. It’s a lazy symbol that can be milked for cheap profundity when employed, if you will, in bad faith. That’s why it’s so important that First Reformed, for all of its alcoholic, violent, libidinous angst packed into Ethan Hawke’s (masterfully interpreted) character, is also a great, genuine film about faith besides. It’s a Revelations film if I’ve ever seen one, about facing down the apocalypse with no way of understanding God’s plan, about living on the precipice of a collapse of belief, about accepting mystery. It’s the only film I saw this year that communicated actual dread, but even then still, somehow, bizarrely hopeful. 

10. Birds of Passage dir. Cristina Gallego, Ciro Guerra

Ciro Guerra (now with partner Cristina Gallego co-directing) follows up the excellent Embrace of the Serpent with another powerful portrait of an indigenous community that, under the pressure of colonial influence, gradually devours itself. In the new film, however, this takes the form of a traditional gangster film, from the humble beginnings and runaway success to the explosions of violence and crumbling of an empire. Birds of Passage shows the origins of the Colombian drug trade with the native Wayuu people (a counterpoint, Gallego explains, to the much-celebrated Pablo Escobar narrative), and in doing so still finds room to organically and respectfully depict the traditions of the Wayuu, as well as showcase their beautiful language, which makes up much of the film’s dialogue. Best film in the genre since at least Carlos. 

09. The Favourite dir. Yorgos Lanthimos

Though I really admire Dogtooth, I’ve found myself increasingly disappointed in Lanthimos’ output since that film. Alps was fine but clearly minor; The Lobster started strong but fizzled out; Killing of a Sacred Deer was ultimately too self-consciously bizarre. With The Favourite, we’re finally back in exciting, unsettlingly weird territory, Yorgos having found that his very mannered style of English dialogue works superbly in a costume drama context. He also gets great, uncharacteristically emotive performances (compared to, say, the last two Colin Farrell outings) out of his central trio of Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz, and Emma Stone, with especially great work coming from Stone, who I think has discovered that all of her best roles take full advantage of the fact that she looks like a cartoon character. It’s wonderfully perverse, incredibly funny stuff, with one of the great, inexplicable endings of the year - fair to call it a Buñuel revival.

08. Bisbee ‘17 dir. Robert Greene

A documentary that tackles a shocking forgotten chapter in American labor history - a group of strikers deported from their mining town and left for dead in the desert - as well as the potential of historical reenactment to act as communal therapy. Greene moves a bit sideways from his usual performance-centric subject matter to show a different kind of performance meant not to affect the audience but the performers themselves, breaking through decades of near-silence on Bisbee’s tumultuous small town history. It’s also a remarkably multi-faceted film; though it would certainly be easy to side fully with the strikers, Greene makes sure to document the perspectives of current Bisbee citizens who sympathize with or even celebrate the decision to deport, complicating the emotions and politics of the reenactment in genuinely interesting ways. A powerful, important documentary.

07. Asako I & II dir. Ryusuke Hamaguchi

Unwieldy and annoying English title aside (especially considering all the possible translations of Netemo Sametemo), Asako seems on the surface like nothing more than a cheap TV romance. It hits many of the same beats and adopts much of the visual style associated with this vein of visual media, particularly in the music video-esque, almost-supernatural meet-cute that opens the film. But hidden beneath these affectations is a shockingly cold un-romance, a story with an inevitable bad end that you’re tricked into thinking might not come to pass. By employing so many stylistic and even verbal cliches, Hamaguchi reveals how these internalized these storytelling devices are, and how they not only can’t prepare us for the complications of actual relationships, but even shift our expectations away from reality. It’s an absolute gut-punch of a film, covered in a seductively sweet carapace. 

06. Sweet Country dir. Warwick Thornton

In a fairly large shift from his previous Samson and Delilah, Thornton has put together one of the best and most unusual Westerns in recent years. Featuring great, earthy performances from its nonprofessional cast (plus a bit of Sam Neill and Bryan Brown for good measure) and a weird, almost Malicky flash-forward structure, the film explores a not-widely-depicted history of exploitation of indigenous Australians. It’s a sad film, showing a fairly exciting lead-up to a somewhat deflating moment of unjust violence - but of course, many of the best Westerns aren’t about good triumphing, either. It’s the film on this list that most grew on me over the course of the year, having not impressed me at first but then blowing me away on a second viewing. 

05. Leave No Trace dir. Debra Granik

For all the buzz surrounding Winter’s Bone - a film that still holds up after so many years - it’s a bit surprising that it took Granik eight years to put out a follow-up, but I guess it’s worth the wait. Unlike Bone, Leave No Trace is a kind, gentle film, leaving behind the edgy Ozarkian drama of its predecessor for a similar but more forgiving setting of woodland communities in the Pacific Northwest. It initially seduces you with Ben Foster’s outdoorsy survivalist lifestyle, cut off by seemingly uncaring state officials, but gradually revealing, through the second thoughts of his daughter (Thomasin McKenzie, in a shall we say Lawrencian turn), the downsides and flawed motivations for their lifestyle choice. It’s a quiet and thoughtful film, melancholy and optimistic in equal measure. Makes one hope Granik can get another project off the ground sooner. 

04. Roma dir. Alfonso Cuarón

I mean, what else can we say about Roma? It’s about as good as claimed, beautifully shot, framed, written, acted, whatever. It’s at its best, sort of ironically, when Cuarón breaks up the quiet personal drama for some of his characteristic action-y set pieces (a Children of Men-esque protest sequence and the climax on the beach are particularly memorable), but he also shows his talent in handling relatively uneventful family scenes, using the layout of the house to facilitate some surprisingly interesting camera movements. I’m happy that Cuarón, who could easily transition into a more boring prestige Hollywood filmmaker if he so chose, is using his industry clout to pull together neat little films like this. 

03. The Old Man & the Gun dir. David Lowery

What a completely pleasant film. A film that walks a dangerous tightrope - one of nostalgia, roguish charm, and incessant aw-shucks optimism - that can easily fall into twee, navel-gazing hell, but that miraculously pulls it off, resulting in a genuinely spirit-lifting character study of an almost folkloric figure. Robert Redford’s good in this, but of course he is - that’s the whole point. Perhaps more appropriate to say that this film is good for Robert Redford, that it rises to the occasion of celebrating his career in full and pulls it off without appearing trite or disposable. As good a (reportedly) final outing as anyone could ask for.

02. I Do Not Care If We Go Down in History as Barbarians dir. Radu Jude

A nearly three-hour, densely conversational, nakedly didactic examination of the historical effects and contemporary sources of fascism and ethnic nationalism that somehow flies right by. Radu Jude, a relative latecomer to Romanian cinema’s rise to international prominence, makes a strong argument for being his country’s best and most important filmmaker, taking on complicated, controversial, and infrequently discussed subject matter about Romania’s troubled past. If you can get past Barbarians’ sort of user-unfriendly exterior (Iona Iacob opens the film by introducing herself and explaining her character, which tells you the sort of thing you’re getting into), it should prove to be a remarkably stimulating and even fiendishly funny ride. 

01. Shoplifters dir. Hirokazu Koreeda

If you’ve spent the ten years since Still Walking wondering what exactly Koreeda is trying to do anymore, then this is your answer. He’s spent most of the last decade pumping out the same nonconventional family drama over and over again (everything from I Wish to After the Storm, at least) so he could hone his skills like a weapon and create the perfect, ultimate version. With a pitch-perfect cast (Koreeda regulars Lily Franky and Kirin Kiki are the standouts, but Sakura Ando, Mayu Matsuoka, and the two child actors more than hold their own), and probably the perfect expression of the chosen family, spots and all, that has consumed much of Koreeda’s career, Shoplifters is one of its director’s career-best films, showcasing all of his talent for depicting delicate, intimate moments and bringing smart, complex ideas to seemingly straightforward premises. The most exciting Palme d’Or winner in years and easily the best film of 2018.

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #137

Once upon a time, there was a girl. An unpopular girl. That nobody knew, nobody cared. She strived to be popular. To have dozens of friends and live the life of a socially fulfilled high school girl. After much time and effort, she had finally succeeded in her goal. She got friends. She got popular. She became normal.

But it wasn’t everything she hoped it would be.

And so Golden Week came around. She made plans with her new friends. And the popular girl can’t help but wonder...

“Is this really what I want?”

Chapter 137: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Prepare for Golden Week 

Okada: “Is my forehead that big?”

Katou: I wonder if Kuroki-san is doing anything after this...?

Tomoko: “Man, I’m tired.” 

Komiyama: [ Exactly what it says. ]

Y'all know the drill by now. Tomoko expects the least, ends up getting the most.

Katou is honestly a very difficult character to get right in this kind of manga. For a series as excruciatingly real as this, a beautiful, popular girl like Katou could easily come off as “unrealistic” or an “otaku’s fantasy” with the way she reaches out to Tomoko. But Nico Tanigawa manages to keep Katou within the realm of believability, and I think it’s because she treats everyone with motherly kindness. It’s her natural instinct, so it doesn’t seem forced in the slightest.

Yeah, buzz off, Kiyota! You’ve already exceeded this manga’s male quota for the next ten chapters.

It sure is swell that Tomoko’s friendship with Yuri has grown enough that even people outside of the loop can see how joined-at-the-hip they’ve become.

I’m getting flashbacks of the KBBQ dinner right now. Someone invites Tomoko, she invites Yuri, Yuri gives a double negative response, etc. What gal pals.

Again, more KBBQ flashbacks, only with a twist. At the party, Yuri took the affected role, stating that her decision to go would be based on whether Tomoko would. But now, the roles have switched with Yuri suggesting that Tomoko wouldn’t go if she wasn’t there with her. I don’t like where this is going...

Mako is totally the type to keep track of how she divides the time between her friends, always balancing a bail with a hangout. Such are the difficulties of being the “nucleus” friend.

For better or worse, Yuri‘s been taking Mako’s “rejections” in stride lately. Better, because that means she’s no longer unhealthily dependent on her best friend. Worse, because that could means she projected her attachment issues onto Tomoko and Yoshida. Have her insecurities been dissolved, or have they just been spread wider across their little quartet?

Mako and Yoshida talking when the others aren’t around is total friendship-baiting and I’m behind it 100%.

The ultimate tug-of-war between a mom who knows their daughter’s faults and a daughter who’s too stubborn to heed her mother’s concerns. 

Sorry, Yuri dear, but at that, I’mma callin’ shenanigans. 

It should be fairly obvious by now that Yuri is becoming dangerously co-dependent on her relationship with Tomoko. It’s not so much that Tomoko needs Yuri with her, but that Yuri needs to feel that she’s invaluable to Tomoko so that she herself can be validated. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that can only get worse since Tomoko and Yuri are going in opposite directions, with the former becoming more self-assured, and the latter becoming more reliant. 

Katou rolling her sleeves up inexplicably raises her “mom” appeal three-fold.

For those who don’t know, this the same joke that happened when Tomoko peeked at Ucchi during the sports festival. Only eating rice is suggestive of just having done something exhausting, usually perverted in nature. Oh, that Nemo.

Still, it’s telling that Nemo actually made that joke and got shot down by Tomoko right in front of the others. Their bantering is usually kept just between them, but doing it within earshot could lead to some pretty tense situations if the others jump in.

That’s quite the unique face Yuri’s making. Not exactly anger or resentment, but there’s something negative about her expression. My best guess is exasperation, but low-key, as only Yuri could. And I hate to say it, but it’s pretty hypocritical of Yuri to get all bent out of shape about Katou’s smothering, when she herself came just to “support” Tomoko.

This might seem innocuous at first, it really speaks to Yuri’s non-indulgent behavior when receiving attention from others, as is very common of introverts. Just like how Tomoko chose something moderate when Okada treated her.

The whole exchange here is incredibly awkward, but it comes off more sincerely than it is cringeworthy. The kind of awkward that makes you facepalm is the result of knowing that the whole thing could’ve been avoided, or at least done better. Okada’s apology and Yuri’s dismissive forgiveness really couldn’t be handled differently, so while there’s this unspoken barrier between them, we can get behind it because you can tell Okada and Yuri are doing their best to clear the air.

Food porn.

Is it embarrassing? Yes. Is Tomoko going to do anything about it? Nah, she’s going to milk Katou’s motherliness for all she’s worth.

And let’s be real-Can you really blame her?

This whole “normie” business didn’t make a whole lotta sense to me when I first read it, but by comparing it to another label used in the West, I was able to make a connection.

Back in the day, the word “nerd” was a derogatory term, used to insult people who were into comics, video games, anime, etc. But by the turn of the last decade or so, this idea of a nerd became antiquated when people realized that the things that nerds were once ridiculed for were actually entertaining in their own right. The standard of being a nerd dropped to the point where mildly enjoying pop culture was enough to make you a nerd. And thus, when everyone became a nerd, nobody was. And the nerd became an identity that only the most hardcore of nerds could adopt.

I never realized until now just how much social stock Tomoko has put into having a boyfriend. You’d think that after her perceptions of the “normies” evolved, she’d understand that having a boyfriend or having a romantic relationship, in general, isn’t as valuable as society makes it out to be.

Now the whole “hanging out at the cafe” thing being normie...maybe.

Quickly researches the reputation of Aoyama Academy.

Oh. So like, Stanford or Princeton. Dream on, Tomoko.

Dat tiny smile on Yuri is too precious.

One thing that I’ve always wanted to see more of is Tomoko’s sense of humor at work. She doesn’t do it often, but the few times when she casually jokes around are met with positive reception, most notably with Yuri. While the readers are more used to Tomoko’s raunchy, crude humor, Tomoko can also play up the “I’m an idiot”-type humor. And it works especially with Yuri and Nemo, who can tell when she’s half-bullshitting them. 

A rare moment of genuine playfulness between Tomoko and Nemo.

Of course, because Tomoko actually is an idiot at times, it can be hard to tell when she being actually stupid, or being fake-stupid for the laughs.

Mama Katou doesn’t know this yet, so naturally, she has to protect her daughter from the mean bullies. Her dialogue here could easily come off as confrontational if it were spoken by anyone else, but as we’ve seen before, Katou is more of the “quiet rage” kind of girl.

Yeah, I saw the video of Cristiano Ronaldo defending the Japanese boy from the audience. Referential humor tends to be hit-or-miss, depending on whether the joke is sustainable without it. In this case, it’s the kind that can be lost in a few years time. So despite being a piece of common entertainment knowledge in Japan, once in while for the series is just enough to keep it fresh. 

I must admit, I used to think that Katou was a replacement character for Imae after she left. But now that we’ve had time to get to know her, I see that that’s not really the case at all.

Sure, Katou is caring and sweet like Imae, but what sets Katou apart from her besides her “mommy-ness” is her naivety. Katou has all the tenderness and effort of a guardian, but she lacks the sensibility...somewhat. But that bit of cluelessness is essential to rounding out her character, enough so that even this stylish riajuu can play the outcast in times like this.

Damn, girl. It’s one thing to view Tomoko as a good person. It’s another thing to see her as some societal paragon. Now I’m kind of hoping she doesn’t get corrupted by the Tomoko virus.  

Even though this is being played for laughs, it does key into an actual strength of Tomoko’s that none of the others have. That being, her extreme candidness. Tomoko, frankly, sucks at pretending to be someone she isn’t, but is incredibly impressionable when she's her unrestrained self. Yes, there’s a time and place for that kind of thing, but sometimes, an incestual eroge is exactly what you need to get your point across.

Precious Lil’ Bean and Jealous Lil’ Bean. Take your pick. 

Yeah, yeah, Nemo getting in Tomoko’s face is nothing new. However, what is new is how Nemo dishes it out and how Tomoko takes it. Nemo usually glowers over the girl as if to assert dominance, but she’ll occasionally crouch down, like a cheetah ready to pounce. Tomoko always cowers a bit during Nemo’s provocations, shrinking down with caution. But here, Tomoko doesn’t waver. She stays upright, even looking down at Nemo for once despite being obviously flustered. Stand your ground, Tomoko. Stand. Your. Ground.

Low-key bitching followed by buddy-buddy invitation equals the politics of friendships.

Sweetie, the girl can’t even bother to use your own name. What do you think?

Normally, I’m not fond of this kind of storytelling where the author tacks on additional, never-before-seen events to a previously seen memory just to add plot tension. The only reason I let this slide is because, as is soon revealed, this memory is more for Yuri’s characterization than for story direction. Plus, it’s interesting to compare how close they are now as opposed to back then. You win this time, Nico Tanigawa.

Taking the easy route even in college, eh, Tomoko? I expect nothing less from you.

Taking the easy route even in college, eh, Yuri? I also expect nothing less from you.

Lazy Sisters Unite!

Promised, my ass.

You’re killing me, Yuri, making me call shenanigans on you twice in one chapter. But yes, twisting your friend’s words into a promise just to suit your needs, and then playing the victim card when said friend doesn’t keep their “promise” is a serious friendship offense. As much as we will all want to Yuri have beautiful, lovely friendships with these girls, it suddenly makes a whole lot of sense why Yuri didn’t have these friendships in the first place. My emotional spectrum is out of whack right now, unable to determine whether Yuri’s behavior is a regression in character or a reconstruction of one.

Bless Mako and her patience.

Oh god, Nemo’s Yandere Stare is spreading.

Hmm, the extra text on Yuri’s date is ripe for some overanalyzing. My first instinct is to say that writing more of a description is indicative of Tomoko actually caring more about spending time with Yuri than she does with Nemo and Katou. But then again, it could just very well be that Tomoko didn’t want to be redundant and write the same thing over three times. 

Whatever the reason, at least she managed to write out Yuri’s last name. I might have died if she just drew a face with pigtails. 

This has always been one Tomoko’s key developments, realizing that being a normie or popular doesn’t give you a pass in life. Everyone has their own shit to deal with no matter how (un)popular you are, and now that Tomoko has gotten a taste of that, the next step for Tomoko’s personal journey could be one of self-actualization: 

Stay where you are and possibly lose your roots, or go back to where you came from and potentially lose what you gained?

Exact-a-mundo. A lot of people have criticized this manga for turning Tomoko into a normie and betraying who she was. But in my opinion, Tomoko is not a normie. Such a self-deprecating label is more defined by one’s personality rather than their social network. Tomoko knows a lot of normies, but until she stylizes up her hair, disregards her hobbies and pulls a Nemo, she’ll always be our lovable mojyo.

On a final note, it’s easy to see Tomoko as the dense protagonist of harem manga right now, and yet, these punchlines regarding her “pursuits” seem to be much more effective if you look at Tomoko’s “harem” as just platonic and devoid of romantic subtext (whether or not it’s actually doing that is another story). Perhaps it’s because while Tomoko is oblivious to everyone’s jealousy, she actually has a great deal of agency that is not often seen in harem protags. The girls are so responsive to Tomoko’s actions, and thus, the emotional core of the Tomoko’s harem actually carries some well-earned weight. 

Can we have more manga with a strong, platonic harem, please?