#to keep myself in check
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list of my current wips and ideas -
Wips -
Frayed Little Strings (Agathario au)
The Red Means I love You (Wandanat x Reader)
The Gold in your eyes (Wandanat x Reader)
Where did you go? (Agathario x Reader)
Post Bellum (Agathario x Reader)
Asks in ask box :)
Ideas -
Figure skater Rio x Hockey player Agatha (Agatha's gym or wtv [I don't skate guys] got shut down so her team has to share Rio's rink.)
Milf Agatha x babysitter Reader
Professor Agatha x Reader
Chef Rio x Waiter Reader
#mainly posting this for myself#to keep myself in check#but also so you guys know what i'm cooking up#my ideas#<- tag for future use#idk but lemme know which of these i should do first#agathario#agathario x reader#agatha harkness x reader#rio vidal x reader
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edit (10/23/2024) now that the poll is over: Original version, with 10 questions, from April 2023 here
And, given that the original is from April 2023, that means I can very easily say:
No, this was not an ISAT reference!
Just because I use parentheses and 2nd person pov and love the same concepts of what a time loop can do to a person doesn't mean it's ISAT
(Yes, I like ISAT, the original poll is why I was recommended the game! But if you look at the original, you can see all the origins of the options to choose from, including what spurred me on with the moss option from the replies)
If I were going to make something for ISAT, I would never be so vague, you can simply look at my ao3 for proof of that
#egg speaks#writing#polls#my writing#egg writes#my polls#poetry#time loops#listen I want to run this again#time loop poll#<- check that tag on my blog for the original 10 option version lmao#unreality#you know I didn't think I'd get fed up with people making isat jokes about this#I thought it'd be like oh hey neat same hat#we both like the same game#but people keep going “oh this is JUST an ISAT reference”#as if it's not a genuine work of creativity I did myself. it feels a bit devaluing#“op you played isat” yes but that came after the original!!!!!#I KNOW it's not meant like that but I want people to engage in my work as its own thing. you can make jokes about similar media!!!#but this is it's own thing!!!!#I want people to like it for what it is. I want people to enjoy it outside of other media. I want it to stand on its own#I'm flattered someone said it was good enough that they think it could be narration from the game and read just as well!!!!#but like. idk. all the other medias popping up (pmmm. orv. higurashi. etc) aren't people calling it a /reference/#if I wanted it to be an ISAT reference I would have tagged it originally. I would have targeted it toward ISAT fans more intentionally.#I love fanworks but this was an ode to time loops alone. I wanted people to think. to have to CHOOSE. I wanted PARTICIPATION#time loops as a narrative and as horror and as a group activity via polls on tumblr. also s/o to the person who said 40 hr work week so tru
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Ogerpon & Darkrai ko-fi doodle for CyclopeanSpook!
#artists on tumblr#pokemon#ogerpon#darkrai#gotchibam arts#ko-fi doodle#sorry if this is pretty late ;;#but I hope you still like it!! <3#I think i'm starting to have a bit of momentum w/ drawing again#I might actually be able to finish more doodles (maybe even comms?) this week#just gotta keep myself in check & avoid self-sabotaging again#I think streaming helps..... kinda?#used to be terrified at the idea of it but actually I just realized..... it's nice to have company ;w;#sorry I wasn't able to chat much! i was pretty focused on drawing#also i just found out abt the embedded twitch chat on the post..... next time i'll try chatting there too!#tysm to those who joined the stream ;w; appreciate the company!#queued
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So like what if John's a possessed suit of armour niightstalker gave me brain worms
#john doe malevolent#malevolent fanart#malevolent#malevolent season 5? kinda?#it's au stuff#I got some other things but i'll keep it to myself for now#you can check out my bluesky for it#hi i also don't know how to draw armour#something else to learn when i can#cuz i would love to draw some silly things
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alternate bad ending
(inspired drabble under the cut)
Lucanis has been taught to accept death since he was a child. He's trained in it. He's used to it. But that doesn't mean what family he has left isn't important to him. Rather it's what matters to him most.
Then he gets imprisoned and tortured. He watches people die, week after week for a year. He's made to think he's going to die at any moment. Made to think that his family is dead. But he doesn't know.
Then you come along, set him free, return him home to find only one family member left, the other probably dead after all. But he still doesn't know.
Then she's alive, imprisoned by the same person that imprisoned him, the other living relative. But he can't kill him. He won't be the reason to lose what he has left, and there's so little left.
But then there's you, who's shown him compassion he's never known, that there's something more than just family/contracts/enemies. That it's safe to be vulnerable around someone.
But he's scared to get close. Scared he'll hurt you. Scared he'll lose you, to himself, to a god, to something he can't kill.
Then his walls start to break. He doesn't know what he'd do without you. And then you disappear. You might be dead. A day, a week, a month goes by. You're still not back. You're probably dead. He thinks he'll never see you again.
It's weeks of not knowing, and he's wasted all this time fearing he'd only take time away from you, time he could have given you instead of pushing you away, and he's lost you anyway. You could have both been happier, if he wasn't so broken.
Then you're back, and nothing else matters, there's no holding back. He'll do anything to protect you, you are his sole purpose now. This he knows, more than anything.
Then the battle is over, the gods are dead, and so are you in his arms. He couldn't protect you.
He knows death. He knows you're dead.
But only now after decades without, does he remember what it's like to grieve.
#needed to get this out of my system :') i put way too much effort into those wings and needed to scale them back but im really proud of them#i tried to keep rook ambiguous so we can ALL share in the angst <3#dragon age veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#da4#evt draws#rook x lucanis#also this is my first time glazing art which is why it has those weird wrinkly distortions#i made a lockscreen version too just to punch myself in the face every now and then when i check my phone and forget lol
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FINALLY done with my team lineup. holy freaking moly. this is the grind we put on for art fight
individual info:
my blu mercs are on art fight! check them out here :D
additional post on bonus dynamics here!
#team fortress 2#tf2 scout#tf2 soldier#tf2 pyro#tf2 demoman#tf2 heavy#tf2 engineer#tf2 medic#tf2 sniper#tf2 spy#blu scout#blu soldier#blu pyro#blu demoman#blu heavy#blu engineer#blu medic#blu sniper#blu spy#miss pauling#tf2#tf2 oc#no id again. im sorry for this lol i keep shooting myself in the foot#curse you tumblr with the 20 tag phantom limit. now im gonna need to rb my own post with the art tag lmfao#i have important job training due in *check watch* two days. and this was what i was working on lol
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day 12 || underrated trio in my humble opinion (just lineart under the cut cuz im stuck on which to post)
#daily gi-hun#art post#jun-ho kinda rotating in my mind rn im ngl#what do yall think of preemie baby jun-ho. cuz im rlly fuckin with that hc#fighting for his life since day one yuppp thats my struggler right there#amusing myself thinkin bout jun-ho just havin random healthy shit that he keeps trying to feed gi-hun#hes trying to start small like protein bars n whatnot tryna coax gi-hun back into eating like hes a feral starved animal#straight up holding out a handful of almonds to gi-hun once#ANYway back to these three#i love them..........i kinda wanna draw em just hangin out at some point#this is a random ass thought but gi-hun CAN cook idc idc he was just a little lazy and liked his moms cooking better when he lived with her#i mean he did own two food-oriented places and im choosing to believe they only failed cuz its hard as fuck to run a business#sorry im always rambling on about sum bullshit in the tags. but i Have To. my cross to bear#i get one million thoughts a day about squid game characters. rn im envisioning gi-hun checking his body for trackers multiple times a day#his skin feels ITCHY and it makes him tweak he swears to god he can feel another tracker somewhere inside him#starts ripping and tearing at his skin with his nails#yall i think im cooked i genuinely spend hours walking around in circles thinking about squid game ITS SO BAD#BY THE WAY YES IM AWARE OF THE BACKLOG OF PROMPTS I HAVE IN MY INBOX RN#im doin a thing where i alternate a prompt and a nonprompt every other day#so if you have sent in a prompt i PROMISE i will get to it eventually#my brain is just wackass with the way it wants to do things#squid game#seong gihun#hwang junho#choi wooseok#squid game fanart#my art#doodle
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i think i really need to learn how to cold quit things... one habit i have that really bothers me is checking my phone first thing in the morning bc it's "just for 5 minutes" "just to see if anyone sent me anything important" no bitch literally nothing on your phone requires you to check your phone first thing when you open your eyes!!! stop it
#i want to keep it cute and say i drink water or some shit but i check my phone THEN drink water guys it's true#i like to think i'm pretty productive / do well w my time bc i get to studying/errands pretty quickly#but sometimes i think about how those minutes spent on my phone could be spent reading the book i said i didn't have time to read#or doing a quick stretching exercise#or just getting myself together before a long day of studying idk. anything really#i need stricter regulations for myself ik it#i am doing good rn but what is good if u could literally be the best just by being off ur phone more
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so I finished side order recently
#splatoon#pearl houzuki#agent 8#marina ida#acht mizuta#my stuff#inktober piece 2 :)#shoutout to my brother who reminded me i could replay the credits whenever because i had to get some extra refs for eight's model#and saved me from having to slog up the tower again#now if only splatoon could do that for every cutscene eh. please#i want to relive a lot of cutscenes and youre killing me for it splatoon#anyway did you know splatoon's official art has. well it wildly varies from piece to piece#they all follow like a very loose guidelines but also they all split off into their own things half the time#me with seven tabs of art trying to figure out if i want to do lines to separate pearl's fingers: so this one has lines but this one doesnt#'this one isnt relevant to this issue all fingers are splayed'#so in the end i just did whatever i wanted. i think that's a core tenet of art. do whatever you want. forever#also spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out what was etched into marina's headphones#im 98% sure it is the off the hook logo. but nothing save from booting up splatoon and checking myself would say for sure#and i didnt wanna boot up splatoon cause if i did then id inevitably be down a couple hours because 'oh well im here already. one run maybe'#but regardless!! im proud of how this came out even if i was supposed to have finished two days ago to keep with my schedule#especially the bg :) i think i did really good on that.#and eight's little smile i think thats the charm point of the whole piece and it took me about ten drafts to get it properly#i think i did good on that too.#im so enamored with splatoon rn help
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Okay. I hear your Lore/Sela arguments. I'm nodding along. I raise you... Lore/Q
Just... IMAGINE
The CHAOS
ANYWAY I spent all night drawing them
#Lore Soong#Lore Star Trek#Q star trek#Rarepair#crackship#I am so unbelievably proud of myself#they're absolute disasters but they can be absolute disasters together#Can anyone hear me#Is this thing on#guys#guys check this out#please#I'm Thinking About Them#anyway side profiles are really hard to draw with real people#you're telling me I have to rotate the guy AND keep it recognizable???
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aughh rewatched my favourite ep today and !! vamp willow still sort of confiding in xander even after she realized he wasn't her xander. he asks if she's okay and she straight up tells him no because everything is so horribly wrong and he obviously doesn't know what's going on because he's alive now but he still cares about her, doesn't he? yes. clearly. so maybe they can stick together like she's used to. and then she shuts down the moment someone else walks into their bubble
feeling very normal about this
#ik it was buffy but she hadn't KNOWN it was buffy until after a few seconds. and that minor distinction does actually matter to meee#I'm actually distraught I checked ao3 and what do u mean nobody else cares about this#nobody else has spun this interaction around in their heads over and over again until it's driven them mad???#the things I would do to see this scene but longer#buffy shows late or never shows or whatever. xan gets them out of the bronze bc willow is visibly Not Okay and she follows him curiously#bc while she's a badass vampire he's still. xander. and she loves xander even if she doesn't quite know THIS xander#stopping there actually. my brain is continuing on but I don't care to keep going. I'm hoarding them to myself tyvm#in other news I kinda wish she'd stuck around longer. I just think it'd be funny if they had a pet vampire in s3 for a little bit#she is NOT tame. this is like when people put leopards on leashes and act like they've mastered nature. but she's playing docile for now#like we SAW her in that episode okay. she doesn't actually put up much of a fight when faced with like just the tiniest bit of opposition#does anyone see any of my visions here or are me and the brick wall having a lovely conversation rn#xillow#<- I've decided I should use that tag more liberally. idc if u take my posts as shipping or not everyone deserves to win here#vampire willow#willow rosenberg#xander harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer
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At what temperature INDOORS (not outdoor weather) do you start to become noticeably uncomfortable (sweaty, heavy, don't feel like doing anything, etc.) and begin trying to cool off yourself or your environment?
(Like, at what point do you start putting out fans, turning on the AC, getting ice water, etc. because the indoor room temperature has gotten too high for you?)
It's starting to get warmer weather where I live, so I was thinking about it/curious how this might vary :0
(sorry if the celsius conversions aren't entirely accurate, I just used a website to look them up/am not familiar with measuring things that way myself lol)
#polls#tumblr polls#summer#Honestly mine is like... 71F lol.. I would say it starts to get uncomfortable to the point that I'm distracted by it around 74/75F#but even at 71 I am noticably warm and will go try to check what the temperature is and would like turn on the air if I had it or etc.#What i get is just that my skin will be warm?? Like it almost feels like I'm wearing a sweater when I'm not. I just feel this sheet of heat#kind of lingering above my skin even when my arm is bare and has nothing on it. It feels like I'm shrouded. And I get a little flushed and#headacehy feeling. and super lethargic where I don't feel like doing anything or eating or anything else. Like today it was only 73 in my#room earlier and I nearly skipped lunch just to lay on the floor. I just don't feel hungry and I dont feel like moving or thinking#or doing anything really. I would eat food if it was brought to me but I don't desire it anymore the way I do sometimes in the winter.#BUT I'm also super heat sensitive due to health conditions and stuff so. Someone told me a few days ago that 72F is comfortable#for most people lol..??? Which is maybe true. Even though that's the point that I start looking around the room like 'ermm...is anyone#else warm??'. But yeah. I guess my answer would seriously be like... 71 for when I actually start to GET uncomfrotable. But then its like#74/75 at the point that I become soooo deeply uncomfortable that I'm like... I Must Do Something About This NOW. Like sometimes#it could be 71 and I'm just like.. grr.. whatever..and keep doing what I'm doing even though I'm warm. But at like 74F I'm getting up to ge#a fan or something and I'm so warm I can't distract myself from it. So as you can imagine. the summers where it gets like 83F IN my#apartment at night are misserablle.. lol..#I think my ideal spot for indoor temperature is like.. 64 - 68F or so. Though i would ALWAYS rather be cold than hot so. Like I would rathe#have to be in a 52F apartment for 5 months than in a 80F apartment for just one month LOL#Just the thought nearly makes me tear up.. oh imagine it only being 55F indoors... ah..#right now it's 77.5 in my room and I'm not like.. SWEATING. but I just feel the Sheet of warmth over everything and I feel more joint#achey and like I have a fever and this feeling like I can't take a deep enough breath because the air is thick. and I am NOT hungry at all#or maybe even a little nauseated. and I just want to lay down. I've been struggling to focus on any task all day. There's maybe a very very#light mist of sweat only on the underarms but it's not like the type of sweating where your whole body and chest is drenched. So its like#I stay dry and I don't look red or flushed or anything BUT it just makes me feel intensely lethargic and like everything is heavy.#I don't LOOK hot or SEEM warm visibly (like being red and sweaty) but it takes like a Silent Toll on my body or something lol
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I'm making you guys a promise today. If I don't finish WINGS before the 3rd anniversary (August 3), I will have to draw a spicy picture of Oldbag and a character of your choosing.
#i don't want that#and trust me you don't want that either#which is why it's good motivation to keep myself in check and do what i say i'm gonna do#peatalks#updates
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i am sadly one of those people who are super insicure of themselves after any social interaction, I go over and over again in my head and feel irrationally bad bc my brain tells me I was awkward, and probably came off as weird and so on. But you know what brain? I had the social interaction. I did it. I spoke out loud to people and had a conversation instead of freezing and feeling unable to talk. So fuck it if I came off as weird and awkward, I am weird and awkward and it's okay, because I did something that just a few years ago would have been even more of a struggle, and even earlier than that it would have been close to impossible.
#i have to keep reminding myself this thing over and over#brain we are not focusing on the way people percieve us we are focusing on the progress we have made through the years#today my brain is bullying me quite a bit over this thing bc i am stressed and i was at work all morning so i had to deal with people#but you know what? i did it and i did my job and i was much more comfortable doing things a few years ago scared me like#casually talking to people and dealing with money#and you know what? when i didn't know what to do or i wasn't sure i asked for help and it was all okay#and people coming into the shop are never rude if they see i have to ask for support to my mom or my brother bc i very casually work there#so i know basic stuff but not everything and that is fine#and if sometimes i need to use a calculator to sum up the prices of things it's okay#and if sometimes a regular knows the prices of what they have to pay already and i have to check it once or even twice it's okay#wow this turned out to be a longer rand than expected but i might need to reread this in the future#note to self#cris speaks
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I truly have no patience for "criticizing a creative choice is disrespectful" as a statement. If you can't tell the difference between sending hate or harassing creators/fans, vs. saying "I didn't like this and here's why" you are an idiot. And on the flip side if you're a creator and someone says "I didn't like this" without any sort of personal attacks or hate involved, simply on the basis of critique and personal preference, and that makes you feel bad enough to stop creating then maybe you should step back and either get offline or make room for someone who has an actual creative vision that isn't "I want everyone to like me."
#queue#i feel like i keep saying this in different forms but#man. remember the weirdo with a wildly misinformed ogl take#one of their friends tried to get me to stop being like you can dislike this without making up weird lies#and ultimately sent me hate after i ignored multiple asks so i blocked them#and i checked them later and like. they were the sort of person who caved to every. single. anon. just groveled and cried and capitulated#and yeah the realization that they thought this was the CORRECT behavior to be spineless and without perspective#was truly a damn bitch you live like this? moment. like real talk anon hate cannot change my mind#because to be perfectly honest i perceive myself as so vastly superior to anyone who sends anon hate it's like taking direction from an ant#(considerate and polite anons with reasoned statements? yeah i'll listen but like. if you just don't like me. sounds like not my problem.)#like. obviously criticism doesn't FEEL good it's not SUPPOSED to but if it's an argument and not an ad hominem attack? it's valid#and an artist worth their salt should be able to understand this is how the world works. get offline if you're upset - that's valid!#you're allowed to AVOID it. you just lack the power or right to shut it down.
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Thank you guys for dealing with me
#man I have just been really upset lately actually#late 2024 to now has just been the mask I didnt know I had was slipping#and me going “oh actually I'm pretty miserable and I was just trying to hide it from myself. what the fuck.”#and keeping those bad feelings away is getting harder and harder#i broke down completely a few days ago and had to leave dinner so my dad checked on me because I left my plate and i just. unloaded on him#I didn't even get to say everything because there's so much and im still learning how to articulate what makes me mad about my situation#he said that he can get me to see a professional (I was like LMAO FIRST TIME I SOB IN FRONT OF YOU UNPROMPTED YOU GET PROS INVOLVED?)#<- to be fair both my sisters asked for professional help and have been medicated before and he's on mental health meds too#he said maybe me talking to someone will make things better (I agree because maybe they'll help me be able to make a change in my house)#<- (cuz some stuff is just. unfair actually. and makes me super mad)#(like wdym the only minor works WAYYY more than half the house. wtf)#and also. since my social anxiety has been acting up lately and so has my paranoia. he said maybe medication would help#my social anxiety was so bad before school ended. whenever my Spanish teacher mentioned talking with people i felt sick#I've also hit my limit lately where if I'm having a bad day. one mildly annoying think makes me freak out and spiral#Like having to get toilet paper for the upstairs bathroom bc we ran out made me crash tf out#seeing people get paper plates made me so mad & complained to my sister who called me hostile for some things I said#<- And I started sobbing which was when my dad checked on me and i told him everything#man. being constantly environmentally conscious is so annoying when people in your house don't fucking care sometimes. i get sad#i feel like im personally being punished for needing to see people be wasteful because omg it gives me such guilt#sorry. tangent#i'm just really tired#of everything#I've felt like I've been annoying lately. that im not cool or funny or enjoyable#that I'm a burden you tolerate out of the goodness of your hearts or out of pity#I've felt like that for so so long#It's hard. realizing that being proud of my abilities was what kept me happy for so long. I am proud of what I can do#<- but I don't know if it's sustainable? loving yourself for accomplishments instead of for you#sorry for being depressing#vent
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