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ambssssssssss · 2 days ago

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Find Our Harmony

Five times Rumi is held by Mira while she sleeps and one time Rumi holds Mira instead.

Also read on AO3

ONE

The first time it happens, Rumi doesn’t have the energy to resist. She’s absolutely exhausted, physically and emotionally, from the exceptionally long day she’d had. From the failed Idol performance, to the big, onstage fight that revealed her patterns, to Mira and Zoey aiming their blades at her. That alone had been enough to break Rumi, to shatter her fragile self-image into a million pieces and then the hits had just kept coming. Jinu betrayed her, Celine tried to act like everything could be fixed with long sleeves and a sweet lie. Rumi had watched her inner demon come forward, her skin glowing with patterns and her eye changing shape and color, an unearthly growl seeping into her voice no matter how hard Rumi tried to keep it out.

Rumi’s faults and fears had been put on display for the world to see. When she’d walked into that arena, filled with mindless drones singing praises at their demon idols, Rumi hadn’t been certain that she’d walk out again. She didn’t have Mira and Zoey, she barely had herself. But she still had her voice and maybe it wouldn’t have been enough, but it would’ve been something. Another life saved maybe. That would’ve been enough.

We are Hunters, voices strong. Slaying demons with our song. Save the world and make it right. When darkness finally meets the light.

Rumi’s darkness had met light and instead of being bathed in the shadows she’d feared her whole life, she’d been met with fractals of light. Mira. Zoey. They were just as broken as Rumi, in their own ways, but their broken pieces fit together like a puzzle, the fractures filled with gold. Not seamless, not perfect, but real and whole and beautiful nevertheless. It was something like peace, even if they weren’t strong enough on their own.

Then Jinu sacrificed himself and Rumi shattered all over again. Not physically, not a complete collapse, but the edges of her freshly mended heart chipped away, cracks in the same pattern as the likes that decorated Jinu’s skin. Still, his sacrifice gave them the advantage they needed to create a new Honmoon and seal Gwi-Ma away again. The magical lines aren’t gold, but they are strong and true and Rumi knows, deep in her soul, that they’ll keep the demons at bay.

The endless night turns to day and their work isn’t quite done yet. The demons had been defeated but now HUNTR/X had the much more dangerous issue of a possible PR scandal. Bobby handled it beautifully, as he always does, and their fans are able to accept that battle for the world as very elaborate special effects. Rumi’s patterns are not quite as vibrant to the naked human eye, but they are visible and it doesn't take long for fans to notice them. The tattoo excuse is flimsy but it’s not like they can explain what the patterns actually mean. Their fans, as adoring and trusting as always, praise Rumi’s new look and, after hours of signing autographs, taking pictures, and dodging questions about the Saja Boys, HUNTR/X is finally able to go home.

Rumi, exhausted from the physical and emotional toll of the day, stumbles as they leave, only to be caught by Mira’s strong hands on her shoulders. She flinches away from the touch without meaning to, and though a brief look of hurt crosses Mira’s features, she doesn’t let go. Zoey comes up to Rumi’s other side and takes her hand.

“Sorry,” Rumi says, unable to look either of them in the eye. “I just -”

“It’s okay.” Mira replies, squeezing Rumi’s shoulders lightly. The patterns are warm beneath her palms. “Let’s go home. The couch is calling my name.”

“Couch! Couch! Couch! Couch!” Zoey cheers, pulling Rumi along by the hand. Rumi laughs as she follows, her overwhelming desire to sleep for at least a day alleviated by the warmth of Zoey’s hand in hers and the steady pressure of Mira’s hands on her shoulders.

Half an hour later, the three of them are piled on the couch in their living room, a mountain of food piled high on the coffee table in front of them, and thoughts of everything except getting some well-deserved rest pushed far from their minds. It feels deliberate when Mira and Zoey pull Rumi down to sit between them, but Rumi doesn’t have the presence of mind to think about it. She eats her weight in noodles and snacks, not really paying attention to anything but how cold the apartment is. She’s traded her normal hoodie for a tanktop and she’s surprisingly cold as a result. Rumi doesn’t mention it to the others, who are too busy competing to see who can put the most food away while some random show plays on the television mounted on the wall in front of them, but eventually the mountain has become more of a hill and the three of them are curled on the couch.

Zoey curls up with her head resting on the arm of the couch, her favorite fluffy blanket wrapped around her and her feet stretched to rest across Rumi’s lap. Her eyes are big and bright as she focuses on the television. Mira and Rumi had let her pick what they watched now that they were done eating and she had picked one of her favorite movies from growing up in America. Rumi was still sitting near the middle of the couch, though she’d moved over slightly to allow Zoey the room to stretch out. She’s looking at the screen without really taking anything in, replaying the events of the day before in her mind over and over again, until a soft touch brought her out of her thoughts.

It’s Mira, who had unearthed a second blanket and had thrown it over Rumi. She moves a bit closer on the couch, wrapping her arm around Rumi’s shoulders and rubbing her hand along the upper section of Rumi’s arms.

“You looked cold.” Mira says when Rumi gives her a questioning glance.

“I’m not used to wearing short sleeves.” Rumi manages a half smile with the words. Mira hums softly and inches closer. Her voice drops a little lower.

“I won’t ask if you’re okay, because that’s a dumb question.” Mira says. Rumi huffs a laugh. “But I will ask if there’s anything I can do? Anything you need?”

Rumi hesitates, opening and closing her mouth a few times before she finally shakes her head. She doesn’t know if she’s really processed everything that’s happened in the past two weeks but she knows that she’d spent hours feeling lost and alone and that was the scariest part of it all.

“Maybe just - stay. With me.” Rumi shifts closer, lets her head fall onto a slim but strong shoulder. “I really don’t want to be alone right now.”

“We’re not going anywhere.” Mira squeezed her shoulder again. “I won't leave you. I promise.”

Rumi nodded, sinking into the warmth of Mira at her side. She freed one of her hands from beneath the blanket, resting her palm on Zoey’s calf in her lap, and finally let go of the tension building in her body. Her muscles relaxed, Mira shifted her to rest more securely against her side, and Rumi found her eyelids drooping further down with each passing second. She was asleep before the movie finished its first act, safe and warm between her friends.

TWO

The second time Rumi falls asleep on Mira is an accident. They’re in the studio again, working on their new album. Technically, HUNTR/X is on hiatus at the moment. They’d earned their three months off with blood, sweat, and tears, but none of them were able to switch off completely. They hadn’t performed since the failed Idols, but they’d made a few public appearances. Never planned, never coordinated, but enough to keep both them and their fans satisfied for the moment. One fan's hope for new music had spurred the trio into action, lyrics and beats flowing from their lips like they used to. It’s easy, simple, and free.

They lose track of time easily when they’re tucked away between the walls of their home studio. They’d made the executive decision early in their career to ban their cellphones from the room in the name of limiting distractions, which had the predictable effect of also ensuring that they were basically unreachable while they were recording. Celine would be able to get through to them sometimes, and Bobby would let himself into their condo if they took longer than a few hours to respond but aside from those two, no one could find them. It was exactly what they needed to get their music made.

They’d worked out a system for their music years ago. They’d start with the lyrics, getting a chorus or a bridge or a verse and then finding a beat that matched it. Once they had a base, it was time to explore it, roundtable style. They’d work together to find the words and the chords, shouting suggestions until they had something usable. Then, once they had a song rather than an idea, they’d split to their own talents. Zoey would refine the lyrics, Mira would take over finalizing the music and overall style of the song, and Rumi would work out the harmonies and line distribution. This had been Celine’s job back when they started, their mentor often favoring Rumi ahead of the others, but Rumi did her best to make it even. She’d never wanted to be a solo act and Zoey and Mira both deserved their time in the spotlight.

They had finished one song and were starting on another when the lack of sleep Rumi had been getting started catching up to her. She hadn’t been sleeping well since they created the Honmoon, her dreams interrupted by visions of hellfire, golden demon eyes, and anguished cries of the people she held dear. She saw Jinu’s last moments over and over again, but the smile he’d had the day of was replaced by a pain filled grimace. The cheers of the HUNTR/X fans were drowned out by screams. The glow of the Hunters weapons that Mira and Zoey wielded were blinding as they plunged deep into Rumi’s stomach.

Rumi would wake up, sweaty, pale, crying, with nothing but the glow of her patterns and the soft fur of Derpy the tiger for comfort. She could only be thankful that she hadn’t been crying out in her sleep. She didn’t want to make Mira or Zoey lose sleep either. The nights leave Rumi with heavy circles beneath her eyes, covered with makeup, and a miserable lack of energy.

Now, sitting in their studio with Zoey mumbling lyrics to a new song while she scribbles away in her journal and Mira sitting close at her side, absently strumming on a guitar, Rumi can feel her limbs growing heavy with sleep. She doesn’t remember what she’s supposed to be doing in preparation for their next song and she doesn’t have her phone to distract, so it’s only a matter of time until she begins to lean to the side. Her head finds the back of Mira’s shoulder, her eyes falling closed at the same time that her breathing slows and deepens.

“Oh.” Zoey squeaks when she turns with an idea, only to see their leader asleep on Mira’s shoulders. “Should we take a break?”

“Just let her sleep.” Mira responds. She glances at the lavender hair on her shoulder. Her lip quirks into a small smile. “She clearly needs it.”

Zoey agrees, flipping to a new page, but there’s something about her smile that makes Mira narrow her eyes at her.

“Are you ever going to -”

“No.” Mira interrupts, freezing in place when her unintentionally loud voice makes Rumi shift in her sleep. Rumi stirs slightly, mumbles something that neither of them catch, and then settles again. “She’s got enough on her plate already.”

Rumi, awake enough to know that Mira is speaking but not enough to track her words, moves closer, wrapping her arm around Mira’s middle in an attempt to get more comfortable leaning against her. She doesn’t feel the way Mira’s breath hitches at the contact or the knowing smirk in Zoey’s eyes. A beat passes and the other two members of their trio turn back to their tasks, Rumi’s soft snores grounding them both in the moment.

THREE

The lights are low, the covers drawn over the windows as the adrenaline fades from the trio of superstars soaring through the sky in the aftermath of their first comeback concert. The performance had been a raving success, from the songs to the choreography to the harmony of the HUNTR/X on stage. They moved around one another with grace, trading smiles and even a few quick jokes as they pass one another. Their smiles are genuine, their voices unwavering. Rumi’s patterns seem to shine beneath the stage lights, mesmerizing the crowd. Even Mira seems momentarily distracted by the blue-purple-pink lines that slice across Rumi’s skin when they have a few moments backstage for a costume change.

The fans are screaming for an encore at the end and the trio pulls out a stunning performance of ‘How It’s Done’ to end the evening, leaving them sweaty and panting as the lights fade and the crowd roars. The descending platform that guides them to the space beneath the stage moves them out of sight, where they are quickly ushered into their dressing rooms to change into comfortable clothes for travelling.

An hour later, the HUNTR/X jet is flying high, and the girls are settling in for a few more hours of travel before they’ll get to the hotel in the next city. Their comeback tour isn’t a massive one, only a handful of stop compared to their last one, but after three months of down time, they’ve sort of fallen out of the rhythm of it. Rumi doesn’t mean to fall asleep before she’s even done eating her post-concert snack. She doesn’t even realize she’s fallen asleep at all until she’s gently woken up.

“What’s ha-”

“Nothing, nothing, we’re not there yet.” Mira says. It’s her hands on Rumi’s shoulders that had woken her up. Rumi blinks at her in sleepy confusion. Mira half-smiles at her, eyes soft in the dim lighting of the plane. “You were sleeping with your head hanging weirdly. Your neck is gonna hurt like a bitch if you keep that up.”

Which, yeah, Rumi can already feel the crick in her neck from the awkward sleeping position and she’s vaguely aware that she’d been holding chopsticks in her right hand when she’d fallen asleep, but those are gone now. A sleepy glance to the side reveals the chopsticks and the noodles she’d been eating had been set in the cupholder for her. Rumi looks back at Mira and makes a soft noise, almost a laugh, almost a huff, that manages to communicate her understanding and appreciation.

Mira smiles and it’s different than her normal smile. Softer, somehow. Rumi finds herself smiling back before she stretches out her neck and yawns so wide it makes her eyes close. Mira is sitting beside her when Rumi’s eyes open again, her phone in hand. Rumi is still just sleepy enough to not hesitate in leaning her head against Mira’s shoulder. Mira accepts the weight of Rumi against her with a quick shift of her weight, her own head tilting to rest against Rumi’s.

Rumi watches over Mira’s shoulder as she scrolls through various social media feeds, occasionally popping in to comment or react to their fans showing them all the love after their concert. She threads her arm around Mira’s at one point to double-tap a post and then leaves her hand there, resting on Mira’s arm. Her eyes are drooping again when she feels Zoey join them on the large seat. Zoey lays her head in Rumi’s lap, eyes locked on her own phone. Rumi’s free hand comes to rest gently on top of Zoey’s head and then she’s asleep again.

“You know she-”

“Shut up, Zoey.”

Rumi is woken up again as the plane is coming in for a landing, Bobby cheerfully announcing that there’s a crowd of fans waiting to greet them despite the late hour. The trio of pop stars rallies to the occasion, leaving their jet with warm smiles and waves to the crowd, but they don’t linger for too long. Rumi ushers Zoey along, the youngest member of their group also having taken a catnap on the plane and as such is slightly less reactive than normal, and Mira follows behind them like a guard. They pile into the SUV waiting for them, Rumi and Zoey both drifting in and out sleep as they make the short drive to their hotel. Mira, the only one other than Bobby who is fully awake, gets them into the elevator and then into their room.

Zoey collapses into bed without prompt, and Rumi is awake enough to chuckle softly as the younger girl wraps herself in the blankets. Mira huffs, a sound that communicates amusement, annoyance, and fondness all at once as she plucks Zoey’s phone from her hands and sets it to charge. When Mira steps into the bathroom, Rumi shakes herself awake enough to pull their suitcases into the room, set their alarms for the morning, and lock up the hotel room before she changes out of her travel clothes. She’s just pulling down the blankets on the second bed when Mira returns to the room proper, also changed for bed. Rumi settles beneath the blankets and watches Mira look between the beds.

“There’s no way I’m getting even an inch of that blanket.” Mira says, looking at the blanket burrito that Zoey had made around her. Rumi laughs softly.

“Probably not.” She agrees. Mira shoots her a glare that only makes Rumi laugh more. She gestures to the open other side of the second bed. “Just share with me.”

“Oh.” Mira pauses and for a minute, Rumi isn’t sure why she would hesitate at the idea of sharing a bed. Rumi’s been making a habit of falling asleep against her shoulder everywhere else. Why would a bed be different? But then, Rumi remembers that they’ve never done that. Before her patterns were exposed, Rumi wouldn’t have offered to share her bed. She wouldn’t even be in the room with them, too scared that they’d discover her secret and isolating herself in an attempt to avoid it.

“I mean, if you want. I-I-I don’t mean that you have to sleep with m- in the same bed as me.” Rumi feels a flush rising up her face. She’s never been particularly tongue tied or nervous, at least not around Mira, and she doesn’t have the energy to analyze why she is in that moment. She just knows that she feels safe when Mira is beside her and for the past few months, the only time she hasn’t had nightmares is when she fell asleep beside Mira.

“Don’t have a conniption, Rumi.” Mira says. There’s a physical shift in her that Rumi can tell is a manifestation of the inner walls Mira has being made stronger, though Rumi can’t fathom why Mira would need to build up her walls here, in their hotel room with Zoey asleep and Rumi bleary eyed and half-asleep herself. “If you wanted to sleep with me, all you had to do was ask.”

Rumi groans and throws herself back onto the pillows behind her. Mira is almost cackling as she rounds the bed and crawls in beside her. Rumi finds herself laughing along, turning on her side to watch Mira settle with hazy, half-amused eyes. She waits until Mira is settled before she slides over, placing her head in the crook of Mira’s neck. She feels Mira tense and then relax and has just enough presence of mind to check in.

“This okay?” Her voice is muffled by the sleep creeping in. She feels Mira’s arm wrap around her, hold her closer.

“Yeah.” Mira says. She waits until Rumi is asleep before she speaks again. “It’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”

FOUR

They’re three weeks into their tour when it happens again, but Rumi can admit that it’s not exactly an accident anymore. There’s comfort and safety when she’s near Mira, when Rumi’s able to let go of the pressure of being their leader, both on stage and off, and allowed to just be for a moment. To breathe. Mira never complains when Rumi inevitably ends up lounging against her, or when Zoey joins them and they become a pile of tangled limbs and hair that gets everywhere. She’s tense at times, her spine straightening like she feels like she has to stand taller whenever Rumi leans on her, but she never admits that anything is wrong when Rumi checks in.

It’s the second half of their short comeback tour and Rumi can feel the tiredness creeping in more and more. Touring is incredible and exciting and something that Rumi will never take for granted, but it’s also a gruelling, demanding series of events with very little downtime. Between travel, rehearsals, actual performances, plus interactions with VIP fans and promotional duties, tours are mentally, physically, and emotionally draining. The Honmoon is still holding strong and they haven’t had to justify getting a new plane because theirs was hijacked by demons or sliced in half, but that’s the only thing that keeps the tour from transitioning from draining to exhausting.

They’re on a bus instead of a plane. It’s midday and the small space is bustling with activity. They’ll go straight into a sound check when they get to the venue, an unfortunate result of the interview they’d done first thing that morning, so they spend part of the drive refreshing the setlist and their minds for the performance to come. They aren’t lacking in songs to choose from, with a five year discography to choose from, and they’d silently dismissed ‘Takedown’ from ever being performed live again. They didn’t want to remind their fans of the very public fight the song had been last time. They didn’t know that demons had been masquerading as Mira and Zoey.

Bobby is explaining their rather tight schedule for the next few days when it starts to be too much for Rumi. She’s already fighting off a lack of sleep induced headache - she’d never travelled well on buses - and knowing that it’s going to be more of the same for the next few days isn’t reassuring her. She listens just enough to offer an affirmative sound when Bobby asks for one and then collapses back against the couch when he moves away to speak with the makeup artist on board.

“Hey, you okay, Rumi?” Zoey asks her softly. Rumi nods and offers the girl a smile.

“I’m fine. Just a headache.” She replies, shrugging sheepishly. “I’ve never slept well on these things.”

Both Mira and Zoey blink in surprise. It’s something that they should have known well before now, Rumi knows. This is hardly the first time that they’d ridden on a bus for multiple days in a row. They’ve been doing this for five years. This shouldn’t be new information to them but it is and Rumi can’t help but feel guilty about that. Her shoulders drop in an attempt to make herself smaller.

“Oh, well,” Zoey shares a look with Mira that feels significant. Rumi can’t decipher it. The two of them reach some kind of conclusion though as Mira leans back against the cushions with an expectant look towards Rumi and Zoey darts away from them, returning a moment later with two small, disposable cups in her hands. “Here, take these.”

Rumi does so robotically, already leaning towards Mira’s side like a magnet is pulling her there. Her confusion must be visible on her face or in her body language as after she’s swallowed the two pills and handed both cups back to Zoey, Mira speaks up.

“We have enough time for you to take a nap.” Mira explains, directing Rumi’s head to her shoulder like it belongs there. Like there’s nowhere else that she expects Rumi to have her nap other than pressed against her side.

“Don’t we have things to do before we get there?” Rumi asks, but she’s already settling into place, wrapping her arm around Mira’s waist and curling her feet up on the couch. Her toes end up tucked beneath Zoey’s thigh when she joins them again.

“Nothing that’s more important than you getting some rest.” Mira answers.

“We’ve been doing this for years. They barely need us to run any of the pre-show stuff.” Zoey agrees. She has her switch in her hands now and Rumi can hear the soft sounds of one of her usual, mindless games coming up. One that she plays to pass the time rather than because of a good story or challenge.

“We’ve been on the road for almost a month.” Mira’s hand brushes through Rumi’s hair, just beside her signature braid. “We can take a break for a few hours.”

Any protest that Rumi wants to make dies when Mira’s hand continues to play with her hair, gently so she doesn’t mess up her hair, but enough that her nails scratch against Rumi’s scalp in just the right way. Instead, Rumi sighs, presses closer to Mira’s side, and lets the sleep that she’s been lacking take over her.

“She certainly looks comfortable there.” Zoey remarks once she’s sure that Rumi is asleep. Mira is still absently playing with Rumi’s hair, a faraway look on her face. “So do you.”

“Zoey.”

“Mira.” Zoey matches her tone. “C’mon, Mira. You’re going to have to tell her eventually.”

“There’s no rule that says that.” Mira can’t look her in the eyes. Zoey rolls her eyes and turns back to her game.

“When are you going to admit to yourself that those walls you’ve built up are pointless? She’s already on the other side of them and you know it.”

Mira doesn’t respond.

A few hours later, Rumi wakes up in almost the same position that she fell asleep in. She’s still curled against Mira, but Zoey has moved further down the bus to get her makeup done. The open countryside outside has been replaced with the familiar sights of an upcoming city, dense traffic included. Rumi yawns and rubs her eyes but she doesn’t pull away from Mira yet.

“Have a nice nap?” Mira asks. Rumi nods.

“Thanks for being my pillow.” Rumi says as she pulls away. Mira turns to her with a smile, the features of her face highlighted with her usual stage makeup. Rumi wonders if Mira had stayed there, letting Rumi sleep on her shoulder, while her makeup was done instead of risking waking her up by moving. The thought makes her feel warm inside in a way that has been growing increasingly familiar over the past few months.

“Anytime.” Mira promises. Rumi knows she means it.

“Oh, good, Rumi. You’re awake.” Bobby says as he comes up. “You’re up next for makeup. We’re just under an hour out from the venue. I’ll have your pre-concert carb load waiting in your dressing room.”

“Thanks Bobby.” Rumi stands, and stretches. The bus sways slightly and Rumi feels Mira’s hand on the small of her back to steady her.

“No problem, girls. You know I’m here for anything you need.” Bobby smiles at them. “Oh, and you’re already trending. Those HUNTR/X pre and post concert cuddle pics are doing numbers online.”

Rumi raises an eyebrow as Bobby is distracted scrolling, sharing a look with Mira. Now that she’s certain Rumi is steady on her feet - not that she was ever unsteady, but Mira had reached out before she thought about it - Mira’s hand drops back to the couch cushions and she gestures towards the makeup chair with her chin.

“Go make your face even prettier than it already is.”

As her makeup is applied, Rumi pulls out her phone and finds the trending pictures. As Bobby said, the pictures are of the three members of HUNTR/X resting together. The first is from their first night on tour, with Mira resting her head against Rumi’s, who is curled against her side. Rumi’s other hand is resting gently in Zoey’s hair, the youngest girl resting with her head in Rumi’s lap. All three of them appear to be asleep in the picture. The second was one that had been taken only a few hours ago. Rumi is the only one asleep in that picture, but Mira and Zoey are both the picture of relaxed grace on either side of her.

In both photos, Rumi can’t help but notice how peaceful she looks. All the tension in her body is gone. She’s almost smiling in her sleep, an easy, unconscious joy that brings a smile to her face now as she looks at them. She saves both photos to her personal HUNTR/X album on her phone.

FIVE

The tour ends with a great deal of fanfare and more than a few tears - from fans and stars alike - but it does come to an end. Their condo in HUNTR/X tower is warm and inviting when they get home, the couch calling to them with an offer of unmatched relaxation. Rumi is unsurprised to find both Derpy and Sussie in her bedroom. They’d both been frequent visitors while the tour had been going on, but they’d stayed out of sight for the most part. Rumi is happy to see them both, laughing slightly as they both jump up to greet her and the motion makes Sussie’s hat almost come off.

Rumi takes a long shower, washing away the layers of sweat and makeup and the pressure of an ever present audience so that when she finally emerges, fresh faced and hair down, she feels more like Rumi again. She dresses in shorts and a cropped tank, drying her hair until it’s no longer dripping before she steps back into her bedroom. Derpy and Sussie follow her out when she heads towards the kitchen, greeted by Zoey’s excited squeals when they enter the room.

The trio spends their dinner time talking animatedly about the tour, scrolling through the videos and pictures and comments posted online with joy. They snap a picture to share with their fans before Rumi mutes her phone for the night. It’s not particularly late, but Rumi can feel sleep calling her name already so it’s not long after dinner that she bids the other two a good night and retreats back to her bedroom.

She’s been too busy with the tour for the nightmares to creep in, but despite the exhaustion she feels, all the bad dreams she’d been subconsciously holding back when sharing space with Mira and Zoey come rushing in. But they’ve changed.

There’s still hellfire. There’s still the voice saying that Rumi could never be enough, that she doesn’t belong because she’s an abomination. There’s cries of pain and outrage. There’s Rumi’s voice being taken over by something dark, something angry. But there’s also Zoey turning her back on Rumi, ignoring any attempt Rumi makes to get her attention. There’s the voice of Jinu in her ear, a whisper full of disdain and hate.

‘You honor my sacrifice by loving her?’

There’s a flash of familiar pink hair. The glow of Mira’s spear as she spins it in her hands. The blade comes to a stop, pointing at Rumi’s chest. Rumi can see her reflection in the metal of the mystical blade, can see the way that the patterns on her skin have darkened and that her eye has turned yellow. When Rumi looks up at Mira, only now aware that she’s laying helpless on her back with Mira standing over her, she doesn’t see the lightness in her eyes that she’s become so accustomed to. There’s no warmth, no affection, not even the hint of her inner walls hiding her feelings. There is only hate and disgust.

‘You think I could ever love you? Someone so tainted by the darkness, you willingly gave your heart to a monster?’

“Please.” Rumi begs. “Please, Mira. You promised you wouldn’t leave me.” She’s crying now. Mira’s blade presses into her chest hard enough to draw blood. Rumi gasps from the pain of it.

‘You’re not you anymore, Rumi. You’re just a demon.’

“No, Mira. I’m still me. I am. I still care about you.”

Mira’s smile is nothing but malice, the glow of the hellfire around them giving her an ethereal look. Even as her blade presses deeper into Rumi’s chest, Rumi can’t help but think that she's beautiful.

‘Demons don’t have feelings.’

Mira steps away, leaving her staff buried in Rumi’s chest. She turns and walks without stopping. She doesn’t turn when Rumi calls her name. Gwi-ma’s laughter, dark and threatening, fills the space. Rumi is still crying Mira’s name when her body jolts forward.

Her eyes snap open, a sob escaping her lips as she comes to the waking world. The light is on in her bedroom, casting shadows along her wall. Rumi can’t breathe against the pressure in her chest.

“Rumi. Rumi! Rumi!” The voice breaks through her panic. It’s Mira. Rumi’s gaze finds her, eyes wide with worry and hair mused from sleep. She’s kneeling on the edge of Rumi’s bed, her hands resting on either of Rumi’s arms. “Rumi, breathe.”

Rumi takes a deep, shuddering breath. She pulls away from Mira’s hands, still feeling the phantom weight of her spear in Rumi’s chest. She shuffles back and away, dodging the hands that reach for her until she’s on her feet. She needs air and space. The balcony door is pulled open and Rumi tumbles into the space outside her room.

“Rumi, what’s wrong? Talk to me. Please.” Mira follows her out but she keeps her distance now, watching as Rumi struggles to get control of herself in the wake of her nightmare. “Rumi?”

She doesn’t have the breath to answer yet. She just shakes her head, sliding to the ground with her back against the wall and her knees curled against her chest. She hears Mira copy her position with enough distance between them that Rumi doesn’t feel crowded. Derpy appears at her side and presses against her.

“I’m here, Rumi.” Mira promises softly. “I’m not leaving.”

Slowly, Rumi’s breathing slows. Her limbs relax, the hands that she’d clenched into fists uncurl enough to tangel in Derpy’s fur. The phantom pressure in her chest dissipates slowly, growing lighter with each steady exhale. Mira sits in silent vigil until Rumi finally looks up at her.

“Hey.” Mira says softly. The multicolor light of the Honmoon reflects in her eyes and Rumi can’t see anything but care in the hues she finds there.

“Hey.” Rumi sighs the word. Her shoulders droop slightly. Mira scoots fractionally closer.

“Must have been an awful nightmare.” Mira speaks softly, like she’s afraid Rumi will break if she raises her voice. “I’ve never heard you cry like that.”

Rumi swallows thickly, only now aware of the soreness of her throat.

“I’m sorry I woke you.” Rumi says instead of addressing the nightmare. Mira, of course, sees right through her flimsy attempt at changing the subject.

“What happened? I thought the nightmares were gone. You didn’t have any when we were on tour.” Mira’s voice is still soft, but Rumi can hear the current of worry in her words. Rumi shrugs slightly in response.

“I basically collapsed from exhaustion every night of the tour.” She says. She can’t look at Mira so she focuses her gaze on the skyline stretched before them. “And I wasn’t sleeping alone.”

“Were you having nightmares before the tour?” Mira asked, again shuffling closer. She was near enough now that Rumi could feel her warmth even as she curled further into herself. Rumi nodded before setting her chin on her knee.

“They weren’t as bad. More memories than anything else. Of that night. The performance. And when you and Zoey found me after…”

“You have nightmares of me pointing my blade at you?” Mira’s voice has changed, something cracked and broken slipping between the words. It’s completely inappropriate, but Rumi wants to laugh at the question. She wished the nightmare had stopped at that. “Rumi, you know I’ll never do that again, don’t you?”

The hum that Rumi responds with is noncommittal. She knows that she can trust Mira. Mira doesn’t say anything that she doesn’t mean, but the words are soured by the memory of her spear pressed into Rumi’s chest in her nightmare.

“No, Rumi, I need you to believe that. I’ve never regretted anything more than the way I reacted that night.” Mira insists. She’s even closer now, close enough that it would take no effort at all for Rumi to turn and curl into her arms. She almost does it, too, drawn to the comfort of Mira’s embrace like a moth to a flame, but Mira’s words from the dream come back and halt her movements.

‘You think I could ever love you?’

“You were scared and blindsided.” Rumi shrugs. “I don’t blame you for reacting the way you did.” It was what Rumi had always known would happen.

“That doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.” Mira says. Rumi doesn’t respond. Mira waits a moment and then presses on. “Is that what you dreamed about tonight?”

“Yeah.” Rumi sighs. “That’s how it started anyway.”

“How did it end?”

“With your blade in my chest as you walked away.” Rumi doesn’t mean to say it, but she can’t hold it back, and Mira would see through any lie she tried to spin. Mira gasps. “After you told me that you could never love someone tainted by darkness. Especially after I fell for a demon.”

“That’s - I can’t - I’m so sorry, Rumi.” Mira’s voice has changed again, filled with something deep and soulful. Rumi turns her head just enough to see Mira’s face clearly. There’s tears in her eyes and Rumi unwraps one of her arms from around her knees to wipe them away.

“I know that it wasn’t you. I know that you never break your promises.” Rumi says. “It just felt real. Really real.”

Her other hand rubs at her chest, where dream-Mira’s blade had cut into her skin.

“I’m sorry.” Mira covers Rumi’s hand on her cheek with her own. “Is there anything I can do?”

“You’re here.” Rumi feels the first flicker of a smile on her lips since she woke up. “That helps.”

A moment passes. Rumi’s hand is still pressed to Mira’s cheek, gently caressing along her cheekbone. Her own tears have dried and Rumi feels her earlier exhaustion return to her. Mira must be able to see it sweep over her again because she rises to her feet and holds her hands out to help Rumi up as well. Once they’re both standing up, Mira pulls Rumi into a hug that finally dispels the lingering shadows in her chest. She can’t feel the phantom pressure anymore, or the sting of dream-Mira’s words. She can only feel Mira’s body pressed against her own, the warmth of her hands resting on either of Rumi’s hips, the steadiness of her breathing as she holds Rumi close.

Rumi doesn’t have to ask Mira to stay. They climb back into Rumi’s bed as a unit. Mira reaches out to pull Rumi closer rather than waiting for Rumi to move on her own. They curl together now, not just a head on a shoulder and a half embrace but fully tangled together. Mira’s arm curls around Rumi’s back, her fingers stroke a soothing pattern down her spine. Rumi’s head finds its place in the crook of Mira’s neck and she drapes her arm over Mira’s abdomen. Their legs tangle together. She feels the soft pressure of Mira’s lips against her forehead. Derpy curls up at the foot of the bed, close enough that Rumi can feel his warmth too.

When Rumi falls back asleep, her dreams are filled with quiet warmth and soft affection. And from somewhere far beyond her understanding she hears Jinu’s voice.

‘Let yourself live the life you deserve. That will honor me more than anything else.’

+ONE

It’s a few weeks later when the first tear in the Honmoon appears. They’d known it would happen eventually. Rumi had never thought that they’d killed the demon overlord, only subdued him. As long as humans existed, Gwi-ma would hunger for their souls.

They’re rehearsing for a local event when the rip appears. Bobby doesn’t even have time to question where they’re going before the HUNTR/X stars have seemingly disappeared into thin air. They fall into the familiar rhythm of battle, singing as they go. Rumi almost laughs when the familiar lyrics of ‘How It’s Done’ fall from their lips. Her blade is still imbued with Jinu’s soul, glowing brighter than usual and cutting through the demons easily.

Rumi feels Mira and Zoey moving beside her, their movement as fluid as their choreography on stage and doubly as impressive. Mira catches her eye and winks. Rumi feels a blush climbing up her cheeks at the motion and she can tell that Mira sees it from the way she smirks.

“Can you guys flirt when we’re not fighting demons?” Zoey complains, but there’s no heat in her words.

“We’re not flirting.” Rumi fires back as she slices the head from the demon charging towards her.

“Just like we haven’t been sleeping together.” Mira quips. Zoey cackles as she throws her knives out, taking out four demons in one fell swoop. Rumi turns to glare at Mira as she flips over her head and stabs through another demon.

“Oh, careful, Mira, or you’ll be sleeping on the couch.” Zoey backflips away from a striking demon and slices across its throat.

“I still have my own room.” Mira points out. Two demons rush towards her. She kicks one and knocks the other back with her spear.

“I’ll send Derpy in there.” Rumi jokes, well aware that Mira and Derpy have a playful rivalry of Rumi’s attention going on. The tiger would absolutely block Mira from sleeping in her own bed if Rumi asked him to. He might even do it for fun.

Mira’s response is cut off as the ground rumbles beneath their feet. The demons have retreated and reformed, a massive creature now attacking with a ferocious roar.

“Fight now, banter later.” Rumi orders as Mira and Zoey step on either side of her.

The demon looks like an amalgamation of a monkey and a lion, its head framed with a mane of fire and a sharp tail whipping back and forth menacingly. Its hind legs are bulky with muscle, the front ones slimmer but topped with viscous looking claws. It charges forward with a roar, front paws and tail whipping out. The hunters are forced to dodge, each of them moving in a different direction. Mira and Zoey dash to the sides while Rumi leaps up and over, slicing along the demon’s back as she flips over it.

The fight that ensues is longer than it needs to be. This demon isn’t as mindless as the ones they normally fight. Despite its massive size, it’s surprisingly nimble. They have to get in close to get any meaningful hit, but the paws and tail make that a difficult task. Rumi flips over a swinging paw but doesn’t manage to make contact with her sword.

“We need to distract it.” Rumi tells Mira and Zoey. Mira’s weapon has the most reach. If she aims it correctly, she can deal a killing blow from above while Rumi and Zoey distract the demon from below. The plan is quickly put into motion as Mira darts behind a column and then around, using a combination of flips and jumps to get into position.

It takes three minutes of dodging, jumping, and making small strikes before Mira gets a good enough opening. The demon’s tail whips towards her as she launches herself towards it, the yelp of pain she releases drowned out by the demon’s furious roar. When the demon rears up on its hind legs, Rumi and Zoey both move to strike at its heart from the front. The demon fades from the overworld, the rip in the Honmoon sealing in its wake. Mira lands on her hands and knees, her weapon fading away as her hand reaches for her side.

“Mira!” Rumi is at her side instantly, Zoey right behind her. Her hand rests against Mira’s back, eyes sweeping over her form in concern.

“I’m okay.” Mira says, though her grimace leaves room for doubt. “Bastard got in a lucky shot.”

“Let me see.” Rumi requests gently. Zoey helps Mira to stay steady as Rumi looks at the cut that slices across her stomach.

The cut isn’t too deep, the blood already beginning to coagulate as a result of their Hunter abilities that enhance healing, but it is a long mark, beginning just above Mira’s left hip and slicing across her stomach to just below her ribs on the right side. It will heal, thankfully, but Rumi worries that it might leave a scar.

“It’s not bad, just long.” Rumi says. “You’re not going to be doing any more rehearsals today.”

“At least we have a few days until we have to perform.” Zoey offers comfortingly. Mira groans but lets both Zoey and Rumi help her to her feet. She drapes her arm over Rumi’s shoulders once she’s standing. “I’ll call Bobby.”

Zoey steps away and presses her phone to her ear. Rumi wraps her arm around Mira’s waist and lets the taller girl lean against her, easily supporting her weight.

“You’re not gonna make me sleep on the couch, right?” Mira asks. Rumi laughs.

“Did you honestly think I would?” She asks with a raised brow.

“Maybe, until you got cold.” Mira shrugs then winces. Rumi smoothes her thumb over Mira’s hip in a soothing motion. Rumi hums softly in reply, neither confirming nor denying Mira’s statement. Neither of them add anything else to the conversation, content to stand there together until Zoey makes her way back over to them.

“Good news, we don’t even need an excuse for not finishing rehearsals today!” Zoey cheers. “That group that was doing the reunion performance needs extra time to get their act together, so we’re off the hook until tomorrow.”

“That is great news.” Rumi agrees.

They make their way back to their tower and pile into the elevator together, idly discussing new song ideas as they go. Zoey moves into the kitchen to get started on an early dinner and Rumi orders Mira to go shower so they can properly bandage the cut on her stomach. Once both tasks are done, she leaves Mira in control of the remote while she helps Zoey with dinner.

After, when the food has been consumed and the mess from it cleaned up, Rumi and Zoey position themselves on either side of Mira on the couch. Zoey curls against the arm as she normally does, pressing her toes beneath Mira’s thigh. Rumi wraps a gentle arm around Mira’s waist and pulls her close, guiding her head to rest in the crook of Rumi’s neck. Mira hums softly as they settle.

“That’s usually my job.” She says, tapping her finger against the hand curled over her hip.

“It’s my turn to take care of you.” Rumi presses her nose into Mira’s hair and breathes her. She feels Mira smile against her neck and hears the rumble of a soft laugh. “What’s so funny?”

“You made me sleep on the couch after all.” Mira jokes, giggling softly even as her eyes begin to fall closed. Zoey snorts from her place beside them.

“Behave, or I’ll leave you here after the move is over.” Rumi threatens. Mira only laughs.

“Nah, you’d never leave me.” She says, with all the confidence of a woman who believes every word she says. Rumi presses her smile to the crown of Mira’s head.

“No,” she says softly. “I wouldn’t.”

Mira falls asleep a few minutes into the movie. Rumi doesn’t know how she sleeps through the high speed chase and explosions scenes, but Mira’s breathing remains steady and calm, her body relaxed in Rumi’s embrace. Zoey watches them out of the corner of her eye, sneakily taking a picture of them curled together like puzzle pieces.

“Not flirting, huh?”

“Shut up, Zoey.”

#kpop demon hunters #rumi x mira #rumira #is that the ship name?#ambs writes #ambs fics #i'm going feral in a way i haven't since the juliantina days #enjoy 8k words of sapphic flirting #and dating without actually dating

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glitter-stained · 5 months ago

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I have a whole post drafted but it sounded too much like preaching so instead I'll just say this: no matter our feelings regarding fanon, I think it would be really great if we all came together and egged tom king's car. I think we, united as a group, could achieve it. And I think this is what Duke Thomas would have wanted us to do.

Come on guys, just think about it. I bet he drives a cyber truck.

#for legal reasons this is a joke #also i don't live close enough to the us for this to be practical and he's not important enough for me to travel this far #that being said the image is pleasing #i don't even think he was the one who wrote the comic everyone is currently up in arms again #i just think we should canalize that emotion onto him anyway #dc critical #fandom discourse #fanon vs canon? more like fandom vs the cia #i believe in us #we can create something that is true and beautiful

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evilducks · 3 months ago

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this amv always ends up annoying me because the point of catradora To Me is NOT that they were 'destined for each other' or 'meant to be together' like that's just not it!! their relationship is something that THEY get to choose, something that THEY get to define. after a lifetime of having other people try to take their decisions away from them, being able to choose what you are to each other is amazing! it's such an important part of their story! if we say that they were meant to be together, then it.... kinda takes away that element. which is fine i am glad that people are enjoying themselves and it's cool that different people have different feelings about canon. but. but. :(

.......IT'S ABOUT FREEDOOOOOMMMMM LISTEN TO ME LISTEN TO ME IT'S ABOUT FREEDOM

#fuzzy squeaks #i think i am probably kind of projecting onto their relationship #[because these characters have been in my brain for a While]#stories where characters can and do choose the kind of relationship they have with their loved ones #are SO important to me.#they're beautiful because they've realized that they could be anything.#< both on the individual level [this is who i am] and also for relationships with other ppl [this is who we are]#and so much of adora's arc in particular is realizing that she *can* be her own person with her own wishes #and also that she NEEDS to be her own person and acknowledge her own wishes if she wants to be even remotely healthy #adora is about giving yourself up to the wants and needs of other people & the wants and needs of the world #and then all of the conflict and turmoil that comes from that #and then coming to terms with the fact that you don't have to be responsible for fulfilling the wants and needs of others #and you can just... be you. even if that's terrifying.#and catra is like. you aren't trapped in your decisions #sometimes you can get stuck in thinking that you're never going to escape the impact of a relationship you had once #or that you're in too deep now and you have to see it through #and their relationship with each other - their mutual forgiveness of each other - is BY CHOICE #they have NO OBLIGATION to forgive each other. they have NO OBLIGATION to be friends or partners or lovers or whatever.#they have no obligation to speak to each other! or see each other ever again!#but they WANT to #they WANT TO!!!!!!#and BECAUSE THEIR STORY IS ABOUT HAVING THE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE.....#they are *able* to choose each other in the end #both of their arcs are about freedom and breaking out of the unhealthy patterns that you formed in the past #and they meet with each other and create this thing that's like.#you can choose. you can choose. you can choose whatever you want right now #and that doesn't mean that it's going to happen #it doesn't mean that the things you want are going to come true #even if you decide you want something from someone #they might not reciprocate.

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gibbearish · 10 months ago

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hey cool that literally isnt what that said in the slightest

#nowhere does it say 'disabled people and poor people cant write'#NOR does it imply it.#it explicitly states that it is referring to those whose abilities or resources are impeded to a degree that they would not be able to #create things without assistance #as in‚ disabled people that are disabled in such a way that means they cant create and poor people whose poverty keeps them from #accessing the same resources as other writers.#not all disabled people. not all poor people. it says literally nothing about either of those groups as a whole #nor about writers as a whole.#i swear the people freaking out abt this stuff literally just have to be insecure about the fact they can no longer tell ai stuff from #human stuff #'ai generated things can never have the same soul as human created things' a) so you agree that the part the ai generates is perfunctory and #therefore doesnt actually need to be done by a human? b) beauty is in the eye of the beholder‚ you put meaning into art you see‚ and c)#if that were true we wouldnt all be passing around stuff about which miniscule details to look for in ai art to tell it from 'real' art #like. is it literally just that‚ just insecurity over no longer being able to tell?#or maybe insecurity on your own abilities?#like. if youve been insisting that this stuff can never be as good as a human's work and then a robot makes something Better Than You #i can imagine that being a pretty rough blow #however that does not justify completely twisting words like that lmao #origibberish

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des2dream · 4 months ago

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IndieAnimationDay Highlights✨

Say 'Yay'! It's IndieAnimationDay! A day to celebrate all those independent animators, storyboard artists, cleanup animators, writers etc. out there because we all know how difficult it is to work on animation. We also know how difficult it is to be given dreadful deadlines, people not crediting your work, and dealing with the presence of A.I. Today is the day to celebrate those who give it their all to make something all their own without anyone holding them back! I have three special projects I'd like to highlight for this occasion.

1. Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want To Be A Magical Girl!✨🌃🧀

In our first installment, we have an upcoming animatic project, Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want To Be A Magical Girl created by @kianamaiart. Our main character, Aika is an optimistic & excitable teenage girl eager to try new things....as long as one of those new things doesn't involve being a magical girl. Well, too bad for her because she is now "The Chosen One" and has to stop Lady DeVoid from plaguing the world in darkness with the help of her star being aid, Hoshi and her new manga-loving friend, Zira. I love this concept so much! As someone who enjoys watching Sailor Moon (the catalyst for Magical Girls), it's such a fun idea to see how much these familiar magical girl tropes will get shut down by either Aika or any other characters. I also really love the character designs, the art style, and the voice cast. We have the voice actresses for Mirko in My Hero Academia and Madoka Magica (one of the other popular Magical Girls)! You should also check out the rest of the cast. I'm so excited!

2. Lumi and the Great Big Galaxy👽🌌🌟

For our next installment, we have an upcoming animated pilot, Lumi and the Great Big Galaxy created by @starteas. The story has a group of alien friends traveling the galaxy in order to help a lost star named, Lumi find their way back home. As soon as I saw this, it gave me Wander Over Yonder vibes which is cute because it's actually one of the inspirations for this pilot. The same thing goes for Steven Universe! Two animated shows that I love so much! Starteas had been working on this pilot for a long time and you can tell if you've seen their art over the years with how much the character designs change. I feel like I'll really enjoy this cast of wacky characters and I'm more hooked on the supposed villain, Void who has one of the best designs for a bad guy. This pilot looks so cute! I have a feeling I'm really going to enjoy it!

3. Knights of Guinevere💙👑🗡

Here is our last installment! Created by @danaterrace (creator of The Owl House), John Bailey (writer in The Owl House & Future Worm), & Zach Marcus (writer, storyboard artist, & designer/The Owl House & Star Vs. The Forces of Evil) comes the next future animated pilot, Knights of Guinevere. The project is also partnered with Glitch Productions (making this their first 2D animation). We don't have much context on this pilot, but it does involve a space princess in a theme park called, Park Planet. As for the premise, my guess is it may involve the princess not being what she seems, a woman stuck in a fantasy simulation, or maybe the princess is a broken-down robot continuously stuck as a mascot. We won't know until later, but I am excited for what's to come since it plans to be released sometime later this year. I've been a fan of Glitch's previous successful animated shows like Digital Circus & Meta Runner, so I hope this will turn out well in the end.

Happy IndieAnimation Day, everyone! You have the ability to make your dreams come true and I find animation to be one of the best forms of creation and storytelling. Even if you're not an animator, you're still capable of creating what you want. Art is everywhere and it is beautiful!

#indie animation day #indie animation #aika idwtbamg #idwtbamg #lumi and the great big galaxy #knights of guinevere #creative inspiration

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theskywithin · 3 months ago

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Birth Chart Breakdown: Venus in The Houses

Love is never just one thing. It takes different shapes, wears different masks, whispers through different corners of our lives. Sometimes it’s loud and consuming, other times it lingers in the background, shaping us in ways we don’t always recognize. Venus in the houses reveals where love finds you, how it teaches you, and the unspoken lessons it leaves behind.

Venus in the 1st House

Love moves through you before it moves toward you. With Venus in the 1st House, you don’t just love, you embody love. It lingers in your presence, woven into your gestures, your voice, the way you draw people in without even trying. You may find that admiration follows you easily, that attraction is effortless, and yet, beneath the charm, a question lingers: Do they love you, or do they love the idea of you?

It’s easy to become a mirror for others, reflecting back what they desire, slipping into the roles they assign you. But love, if built on performance, will never feel real. The challenge here is to be seen, not just adored. To let someone love you in the moments when you are not dazzling, not perfect, but simply human. The lesson: Let love see you, in the light and in the dark. Do not fear being known.

Venus in the 2nd House

Love, for you, is about worth, how it’s given, how it’s received, how it affirms your place in the world. With Venus in the 2nd House, relationships are tied to security, to stability, to the deep-rooted need to know that you are valued, not just in words but in actions. You seek love that feels dependable, steady, something you can hold onto. And yet, when love is too closely linked to validation, the search for security can turn into an endless chase.

If your self-worth depends on how much love you receive, you may find yourself overextending, proving, giving more than you should in the hope of being enough. But real love is not earned, it is met. The challenge here is to find that worth within yourself first, so love does not become a transaction. The lesson: Let love affirm you, not define you. What you carry within is already enough.

Venus in the 3rd House

Love is a language, a conversation, a thread woven through words. With Venus in the 3rd House, relationships are built on communication, on the way thoughts intertwine, on shared ideas, on the electricity of a well-placed sentence. You love through dialogue, through letters, through the rhythm of voices blending in harmony. But sometimes, love is quieter than that.

Not all emotions can be translated. Not every feeling can be spoken. And when you tie love too closely to words, you risk missing the love that exists in silence, in the spaces between, in the presence that does not need explanation. The challenge is to let love breathe beyond the need to define it. The lesson: Let love exist in all its forms, both spoken and unspoken.

Venus in the 4th House

Love is home, love is shelter, love is the feeling of belonging. With Venus in the 4th House, relationships are deeply personal, rooted in emotion, memory, and the longing to create something safe. You love with a kind of depth that seeks not just passion but refuge. But when love is expected to be a sanctuary, the weight of that expectation can become too much for any one person to hold.

If you rely on love to be the safe haven you never had, you may find yourself clinging, expecting a partner to heal wounds that only you can tend to. The challenge here is to build home within yourself first. The lesson: Let love be a choice, not a lifeline. True intimacy comes not from dependency, but from two people meeting from a place of wholeness.

Venus in the 5th House

Love is a story, a dance, a spark that refuses to fade. With Venus in the 5th House, romance is an art form, something to be celebrated, something that brings color and joy. You fall in love with the excitement, with the chase, with the beauty of connection before it asks too much of you. But when love is only about the beginning, what happens when the thrill settles?

If you seek love only for the high it provides, you may find yourself running when the deeper work begins. Love is not just fire, it is also the warmth that lingers when the flames die down. The challenge is to embrace both passion and permanence. The lesson: Love is not just about what excites you, but what remains after excitement fades.

Venus in the 6th House

Love is in the details, in the effort, in the quiet devotion of everyday life. With Venus in the 6th House, relationships are built on care, on the small, unspoken acts of service that say “I see you” without needing grand gestures. But when love is too closely tied to duty, it can begin to feel like something you must earn rather than something you receive.

If you only feel valuable when you are giving, you may find yourself depleted, pouring into others without leaving space for yourself. The challenge here is to receive, to trust that love does not require you to prove your worth through effort. The lesson: Love is not just what you do for others, it is also what you allow yourself to receive.

Venus in the 7th House

Love is a mirror, a reflection, a dance between two souls seeking balance. With Venus in the 7th House, relationships are the heartbeat of your life. You thrive in connection, in the art of partnership, in the beauty of being understood. But when love becomes the foundation of your identity, the risk is losing yourself in it.

If your happiness depends on another, if your sense of self is too closely tied to being loved, then love becomes a condition, not a freedom. The challenge here is to stand whole, to bring your full self into love rather than bending to fit into another’s shape. The lesson: Love deeply, but do not disappear within it.

Venus in the 8th House

Love is transformation, love is surrender, love is the fire that strips away illusion. With Venus in the 8th House, relationships are not light, they are depth, they are intensity, they are the things that shake you to your core. You crave love that changes you, that demands vulnerability, that breaks and rebuilds. But when love is tied to power, it can become a battle rather than a sanctuary.

If you fear losing control, you may hold on too tightly, mistaking possession for security. But love cannot be owned, nor can it be forced to stay. The challenge is to trust love enough to let it breathe. The lesson: Let love change you, but do not let it consume you.

Venus in the 9th House

Love is an open road, a horizon that never stops expanding. With Venus in the 9th House, relationships are about discovery, of the world, of new perspectives, of yourself. You are drawn to partners who challenge your thinking, who bring something unfamiliar into your life, who make love feel like an adventure rather than a destination. Love, to you, is a journey, one that must always offer something new.

But in your search for expansion, do you ever allow yourself to land? If love is always about growth, movement, and new experiences, you may struggle with the stillness of commitment. The risk is chasing the next high, the next revelation, without ever letting love settle into something real. The challenge is to find depth in what remains, not just in what is new. The lesson: Love is not just about where it takes you, it’s also about who you become when you stop running.

Venus in the 10th House

Love is legacy, love is purpose, love is the reflection of your ambitions. With Venus in the 10th House, relationships are rarely just personal, they are tied to what you are building in the world. You may seek a partner who aligns with your vision, who elevates your path, who helps you create something lasting. Love, to you, must be meaningful, something that carries weight beyond the personal.

But when love is tied too closely to achievement, it can become something to prove rather than something to experience. You may be drawn to relationships that "make sense" on paper, ones that align with your goals or expectations, but do they fulfill you emotionally? The challenge is to let love exist outside of what is practical or admirable. The lesson: Love is not a trophy, it is a feeling, a presence, something that holds you when everything else fades.

Venus in the 11th House

Love is friendship, love is connection, love is a shared dream of something greater. With Venus in the 11th House, relationships are about more than just two people, you seek love that is part of a larger vision, something that aligns with your ideals. You may find yourself drawn to partners who inspire you intellectually, who share your values, who feel like kindred spirits. Love, to you, is not just personal, it is collective, something that extends beyond intimacy and into purpose.

But when love is placed in the realm of ideals, emotional depth can sometimes be overlooked. You may crave a relationship that feels effortless, that is built on shared interests and mutual respect, but true love also requires vulnerability, the willingness to be seen not just as an idea, but as a person with flaws and fears. The challenge is to let love be human, imperfect, raw. The lesson: Love is not just about who shares your vision, it’s about who sees your soul.

Venus in the 12th House

Love is mystery, love is longing, love is something that moves through the unseen. With Venus in the 12th House, relationships often carry an air of the fated, the spiritual, the unspoken. You may be drawn to connections that feel karmic, as if you have known them before, as if love is something you must unravel rather than something you simply receive. Love, to you, is something deep, something sacred, something that exists in the spaces between words.

But when love lives too much in the shadows, it can become something you never fully grasp. You may lose yourself in a relationship, merging so deeply with another that you forget where you end and they begin. Or you may find yourself drawn to unavailable love, to relationships that exist in secrecy, in dreams rather than reality. The challenge is to bring love into the light, to let it exist in the present rather than in the imagined. The lesson: Love must be real, not just felt. Allow yourself to be chosen, seen, and held, not just in spirit, but in truth.

#astrology #astro community #astro observations #birth chart #natal astrology #natal chart #astro notes #natal aspects #venus #astrological houses

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galadrieljones · 7 months ago

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It speaks volumes when Lavellan calls Solas a "terrible liar" in the Cobbled Swan. Rook is, of course, confused by this. "He's the god of lies," she says. But Lavellan clarifies, because that's not what she means. She means that he can't tell "lies of the heart." That is why he had to turn her away, because he actually could not deceive her.

Varric, very early in the game, also refers to Solas as "sentimental." He says to Rook, "He could burn the world down, and the thing that would make him cry is a single flower with blackened petals."

There's something very interesting about the elven god of lies and deceit, who unwillingly wears his heart on his sleeve, essentially creating a new version of the world in which all sources of raw, magical *emotion* that, according to him, used to imbue it with so much life and beauty have been compartmentalized from the more brutish, harsh aspects of the physical world. Because he, himself, has had to do this very thing to his own heart. He's "split." A very cool archetype. When he tells the Inquisitor to "harden her heart to a cutting edge" in Inquisition, he is projecting. Solas has built a "veil" within himself, to protect his more stern, militaristic identity as The Dread Wolf from the effusive, soft, and intelligent man that is Solas. It's the only way he can get anything done. Perhaps we should more aptly call him the god of stoicism and compartmentalization.

It's also interesting how well characters like Varric seem to know Solas, because it communicates that Solas did open up to the people of the Inquisition, during which time he "played the role" of quiet, unassuming Fade mage. Perhaps this wasn't a role at all, however, and perhaps this is why he is failing so spectacularly now. Who he really is is just this man who fell in love and made friends and found a home within a community where he did not have to cut off his emotions in order to lead. This was the "breach" in his plans, so to speak. It tore his world apart.

The whole story of Veilguard actually starts because Varric knows he can appeal to Solas's emotions and that this has a high chance of working to some degree. It's important to remember that while Varric didn't change Solas's mind at the ritual site, he was able to keep Solas talking long enough for Rook to sabotage his plans. Solas entertains Varric's pleas, because, sort of as Rook guesses with Lavellan at the Cobbled Swan, in some ways, Solas wants to be stopped. He wants someone to pull the reins on him because he is too prideful to stop himself.

Thinking back to Trespasser, I remember we all sort of knew this right away just in reading his body language. I remember someone making a whole post about it, and how he will not allow her to get too close to him. When she approaches, he takes a very measured step back. And later, as he takes the anchor, a task which requires him to take her hand, we see exactly why this is. He breaks down, calls her his "love," and kisses her. He is so stern and so measured and in "control," but then, all it takes is a single touch from the woman to whom he showed a glimpse of his true heart, his true self, to bring him to his knees.

The Veil as a narrative manifestation for how Solas tends to seal his own raw emotions away from others in order to function as the revolutionary general he had to be for centuries is a very beautiful construct to me.

#datv #dragon age: the veilguard #solas #solavellan #datv spoilers #veilguard spoilers

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planetsandstarsandstuff · 8 months ago

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Natal Chart Notes/Observations:

(please do not copy or repost on other platforms)

Those with Venus in the 3H can be extremely sweet in the way they speak to others - these people are often very verbally affectionate, especially with those closest to them. Compliments from them can feel particularly validating.

Cancer Moons tend to be babied a lot - people assuming they're more sensitive than they are, thinking their feelings need to be protected, etc. Their vulnerability is often exaggerated in the minds of others.

Having Saturn or Mercury in/ruling the 2H can allow a person to detach from material possessions quite easily; they tend to approach this area of life with logic + practicality and are often able to throw items away with little hesitation (Mercury likely even more so than Saturn, as Saturn's rigidity can hold them back here.)

3H Neptune may be especially prone to dropping things.

Those with Mercury in the 12H often struggle to turn their brain off; it can feel like there's constant chatter in their subconscious. This may also be true for those with Pisces Mercury, Neptune-Mercury aspects, and Neptune in the 3rd - no structure to keep racing thoughts contained.

Above is an excerpt from an interview with Joan Didion, who has her Sun, Moon, Mercury, and Venus in the 6H - keen awareness of how one spends their time, finding and creating beauty in the mundane, daily indulgence in life's pleasures. Those with 6H placements, when expressed at their best, are particularly good at remembering to live.

7H Suns are often such lovely people to engage with, they bring so much warmth and vitality to their interactions with others. Very friendly people who focus a lot of their energy on those around them.

If you have any t-squares in your chart, look to the apex to see where you're likely to engage in unhealthy coping mechanisms in response to issues indicated by its two opposing houses. If the apex is in the 12th house, for example, this can look like isolating, excessive daydreaming, and possibly substance use. In the 7H this might look like codependence, in the 6H overworking, etc. The sign and planet should be considered as well.

(look to the opposing sign + house to find the qualities that likely need to be embraced.)

Our 3H is how we speak, but our 2H is how our voice sounds - someone with a 3H Moon might speak with a soft inflection but if they have a 2H Mars, for example, the actual resonance of their voice may be quite loud or harsh. Princess Diana's Moon was in both her 2nd and 3rd house (looking at placidus + whole sign together) and she's famously very soft spoken - not only in expression, but also in the actual tone of her voice.

Those with Chiron in the 1H are prone to viewing life through a negative lens, their pain informs their worldview more than most.

Scorpio Venus/Pluto-Venus/Scorpio 5H love angst.

Mercury-Venus aspects can indicate having a very classically beautiful voice. Jonathan Groff, who has Mercury exactly conjunct Venus, is a good example of this - under every interview I've seen of his are comments filled with people talking about how much they love his voice - not only his singing voice, but his regular speaking voice as well.

Prominent 11H placements can attract an audience quite easily.

Those with Jupiter-Mercury aspects tend to have a funny way with words - something about the way they speak just tickles people. Ayo Edebiri, who has her Mercury sextile Jupiter, is a great example of this. Kate McKinnon as well (Mercury conjunct Jupiter). These individuals often have great comedic timing and aren't afraid to go big in order to get a laugh.

Having Venus in or ruling the 4H can indicate a person being somewhat of a mediator within their family - always trying to keep the peace, encouraging family members to connect, etc. Family is often very important to these people.

2H Moons love providing for others - cooking for people, gifting things, just generally making sure those around them are well taken care of. They'll do anything to bring comfort and safety to their loved ones, and often find a lot of emotional fulfillment in doing so.

Capricorn Mars can be very presumptuous in that they think they're in charge everywhere they go. This can definitely get on people's nerves but in all fairness if any placement deserves to be in charge it's probably this one - if nothing else, a cap mars knows how to get things done.

Thanks for reading!

#astrology #astro community #astro notes #zodiac #astro observations #astrology observations #astrology notes #birth chart #natal chart #natal placements #natal astrology #natal aspects #astro placements #astro blog #astrology tumblr #astrology thoughts #astrology community

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thesophistiicate · 9 months ago

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the good life essentials: the ultimate guide to getting what you want 💭

for so long i always felt a sense of struggle when it came to my achievements. i could reach my goals but it always felt so hard, and it usually came paired with periods of burn out and malaise. then i found out why: i was often neglecting foundational needs, living in chaos and not taking proper care of myself, and trying to zoom straight to big-picture achievements.

below is my ultimate guide to 'the good life'. the more balance you can achieve in each category, the easier and more pleasurable it becomes to reach your goals. you will still have to stretch yourself and explore beyond your limits... but it should feel relatively nice because you are supported by a nourishing lifestyle.

you deserve a beautiful, healthy, passion-filled life. here's how you get it:

01. your foundation: the essentials

physical health: create nourishing routines for sleep, exercise, and nutrition. your literal energy starts here, so if you’re trying to bring positive energy to your life and achieve success, you need foundational energy.

mental and emotional health: build resilience and develop strategies for coping with pressure and stress. take care of your mental health always, not just when you’re already spinning out.

financial stability: learn to manage your money wisely. budgeting, saving, and debt management are a must.

02. your core: connections + fulfilment

your home: whether you have just a bed, a room, an apartment, or a whole house, create a safe, comforting space to recharge and feel grounded.

strong relationships: surround yourself with supportive and meaningful connections - so much about ourselves is defined by those we are close with so choose wisely.

meaningful work: follow your sense of purpose and find work or projects that bring a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction to your life. remember that it may not always be paid work. if you have no idea, just keep trying things and follow what interests you, while working on the next stage.

03. your growth: personal development

personal growth: invest into self improvement, developing new skills, growing your knowledge and learning as much as possible.

spiritual fulfilment: find purpose, whether through spirituality, self-reflection, or a connection to something bigger.

creativity & self-expression: explore creative outlets and express your true self to find a grounding sense of joy and authenticity.

04. your larger contribution: beyond the self

community & contribution: give back, volunteer, or participate in community initiatives to connect with a greater sense of purpose and life-giving connection.

legacy & impact: define the mark you want to leave on the world, through family, work, or contributions to society. think deeply about what you wish to leave behind and tailor your life to this goal.

05. your enrichment: quality of life enhancers

play & leisure: make time for joy, hobbies, and relaxation for rejuvenation, calm, and passion. if your day to day work isn't your passion, it's so essential to find passion here.

time in nature: regularly connect with the outdoors for grounding and mental clarity.

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sw1ft-sniff · 12 days ago

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Kai is so much more powerful in Monstrosity than whats shown in dragons rising, like he fucking flash bombed a dragon 10x bigger than him

IT LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING STAR

Like the ninja are all really powerful, Lloyd going God mod, or when they unlocked their true potential back in season 1, Nya controlling the entire ocean. Cole doing that weird move thing his mother was trying to do (forgive me I don't remember what it's called).

Not to mention throughout the show they've all displayed growth in character and their element.

But I guess I didn't truely gauge how powerful kai was if he didn't have the risk of casualties or his family around,

Because these attacks are the emotions of a desperate man, who's clinging to hope of seeing his family again that's if they were even alive. (Because he didn't know if they were alive, the only reason he didn't think about that was because if he did he would shattered) these are flames unconstrained from risk. He isn't afraid og holding back because if he holds back he won't get home. He only holds back when killing becomes monstrous in his eyes. Which is why he didn't kill the egg, why he stopped daidan.

Like he set himself of fire to charge up Rusty, And he channelled Daidans fire into this attack

And I just think it's so crazy that we never see him do this kind of stuff in ninjago or dr.

I think the closest to this power we saw in ninjago season 11 when he gained his powers back after aspheera took them, and again that was powered by the drive to protect his family.

I always find fire is related to passion, or drive to do something. It can create, so beautiful and kind but it can also destroy, be so painful and angry.

Kai feels like a perfect mix of the two a force to be reckoned with when there is no one around to stop him, or kind protective and family centred.

His fire, his strength is so driven by his passion, his family, his emotions which just makes his character so much more than just the Hot Head. I love how deep Kais development is he's got so many different layers to his personality and I'm so glad they're finally exploring and making his character more interesting.

#kai ninjago #ninjago daidan #ninjago monstrosity #ninjago kai #kai jiang #kai smith #lego ninjago #ninjago legends #monstrosity kai #lego monstrosity #legends monstrosity #ninjago zane #ninjago lloyd #ninjago

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inthelow · 8 months ago

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THE LIST — BTS OT7 (introduction).

Pairing: fashion girl f!reader x ot7!bts

Summary: after finding out that some girls have a list of their hookups and how they rank them on different aspects, the boys are eager to know their scores and show you how they can be better than the others.

Genre: literally porn with a plot; a lil fluff but mostly smut and crack

Note/warning: there’s a lot of sexual talk, jokes and scenes so if you don’t like it please get out bc it’s mostly that lol, the porn will start in the first chap this is the intro cuz i love to write shit and silly jokes;; also, it does have a lot of plot twist shit and some delicate themes that i’ll be warning next chapter since i love to write complex female characters so yeah, porn with a lot of plot actually.

Masterlist: introduction, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

“Can you keep scrolling?. This foreshadowing trend is getting boring.”

It was a beautiful Saturday night in Korea, the end of summer was coming and most people were taking advantage of the amazing weather to go out and spent time outside. People would believe one of the biggest bands in the whole world would be enjoying their money and going outside with friends or travelling to other places, maybe even practicing or creating new projects for their careers, Bangtan wasn’t doing any of that. The seven guys were in your apartment watching TikTok videos for the last hour. It was almost midnight and they were still in your home just wasting time.

You had invited them to have dinner with other friends to celebrate Thanksgiving in October, a weird tradition none of your friends in the country celebrate but that you had begged them to do it since it was a cultural tradition for you. Of course, it was easy to convince them with dinner, the group had stayed longer that you had planned as always.

“It’s getting late” you mumbled, stretching your arms tiredly.

“Yeah, you’re right” Jin yawned “. I’m getting hungry again, should we order something?.”

They didn’t know how to take a hint.

“Maybe you should, uhm, como se dice… Calabaza, calabaza, cada uno pa’ su casa. Don’t you think?.”

“Bitch, you’re Canadian not hispanic” Jimin rolled his eyes.

“You’re half Korean, you don’t have a hispanic bone in your body” Taehyung said.

“Read a book.”

“Thought she was American.”

“Oh my god” they were so annoying “. Can you guys go home?. The dinner finished like three hours ago.”

“Home is so far” Ho-seok shook his head “. Can I crash here today?.”

“Hell, no.”

“Mean.”

“Should we watch a movie?. This app is slowly killing my brain” Namjoon said with disapproval.

“What if you guys watch a movie in your own home?.”

“Your TV is bigger” Yoongi muttered.

“Dude, you’re a millionaire, buy a bigger one.”

“I don’t believe in bad investment.”

“I’m gonna slap you.”

“You sofa is comfortable” Jungkook talked, sleepy “. I don’t want to move.”

You sofa was a “L” kinda of furniture. Him and Jin were laying in one and Taehyung and Yoongi in the other part. Namjoon, Hobi, Jimin and you were sitting on the floor, all of you separated in different parts around the furniture, your head touching Jungkook’s knee.

You sighed annoyed before giving up, luckily you didn’t have to work tomorrow so you could stay up longer than usual. The eight of you decided to eat the leftovers of the evening and while Jin went to the kitchen to warm the food, one video caught the attention of everyone in the room. There was a guy in the TV talking how some girls had a list in their notes app about all the boys they had slept with and how they rank them on different aspects, he talked how he wanted to know his ranking and ask a friend who he usually hookup with to know his score. The story wasn’t that hard to understand since it was short and fun but what caught the attention of everyone in the room, mostly the boys, was knowing that some girls do that.

“That’s not true” Jungkook chuckled “. Who would make a list like that?.”

Everyone turned their heads to look at you. Jimin started laughing when you just kept quiet.

“Oh, my god. You have one?.”

“Maybe.”

“Are you kidding me?” the younger seemed to wake up completely, he took a seat next to you immediately “. You have a list, what’s the ranking?.”

“I won’t talk about this with you guys” you laughed at their curiosity.

“Why no?” Taehyung pouted “. I want to know too.”

“Because it’s weird.”

“Why would you have a list if you’re not going to talk about it?” Jimin insisted.

“I said I won’t talk about it with you all, I spill with my girls all the time” you smiled innocently “. Have to share the knowledge.”

“You know how fucked up this would be the other way around?” Yoongi asked.

“Men just hate seeing women in male dominated fields.”

“You’re so dumb” Jimin rolled his eyes “. Just tell me the ranking you have and why I’m the number one.”

“Oh, my god” Namjoon threw him a pillow “. Shut up.”

“Yes, thank you. Can you guys never say shit like that again?.”

“I’m curious!” Taehyung whined “. Why can’t we know?.”

“Why would you wanna know?.”

“Wouldn’t it be fair?” Jin appeared from the kitchen, a plate of food in his hand “. Wouldn’t you like to know if we had a ranking about you?.”

The guys pointed at him and his good argument. You knew he was right.

“Touché” you giggled“. Where is the food?.”

He rolled his eyes “Go grab it from the kitchen.”

Everyone stood up to do grab a plate of food from the kitchen and some Soju bottles you had in your fridge. Soon you were all sitting on the floor doing a little round while eating, you knew they weren’t going to let the subject go. You weren’t uncomfortable talking about your hookups with the boys but it was a little weird to know that you’ve had written about almost every guy in that living room in your notes app where you had ranked them and giving some opinions about how good or bad they were when you fucked them.

“So you’re going to tell us?” the younger smiled cutely, trying to convince you.

“Nope, so shut up.”

“Come on” Taehyung whined again ”. I need to know.”

“You guys don’t have bad ranking, it’s not a big deal. You don’t need to know, you were good ” you tried to argue, letting it not be a big thing “. It’s just a comment on how it was, I have bad memory.”

“But it is, I need to know what you wrote about it” he argued back.

“No, you don’t.”

“What about a deal?” Jimin talked, you looked at him confused.

“No.”

“It’s not that” he smiled machiavellian “. You’ve been trying to get into that art project with Jacquemus, right?.”

“First, it’s not an art project, it’s a deal that I’m trying to do to expand my brand” you corrected him “. Second, what about it?.”

“Yeah, that, whatever” he giggled when you looked annoyed “. What if I casually introduce you to Simon and you talk about the business deal with him?.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Well, I have an event with Tiffany & Co’s next week and he casually happens to be in it” Jimin shrouded “. You can come with me as my stylist.”

Oh, he was tempting.

You had been in the fashion industry since you graduated. Getting a job in a fashion magazine where you got to know more about the business and then successfully opening your own clothing brand where you got to sponsor a lot of celebrities around the world, Bangtan being one of them, actually them being one of the first ones to support your little business when you started. Their company had been the first to contact you to use your brand when Taehyung was capture wearing some of your cute sweaters back in 2018. Of course, you were already friends before that, when you guys bonded in some event back in that year and had spent nights sleeping with each other you had become really close friends so it wasn’t a big deal for you that he wanted to take some of your clothes when he found you working one day, of course you didn’t know the big deal it would be after that. You had to thank him a lot when people reached for your brand after that. And the thing was, people didn’t know that you were actually that close, and they didn’t need to, they would say you had slept your way to the top and it wasn’t true, you had slept around before it.

“You swear?.”

“Pinky swear, baby” he showed you his finger for you to grabbed it.

“I better get the invitation tomorrow.”

“It would be the first thing you see in the morning.”

you sighed, surrendering “Just the ranking of you guys.”

“Everything we want to know” he shook his head “. I’m getting you a meeting with the owner of the company you want to buy or whatever.”

“I don’t…” he was good at annoying you “. It’s not a meeting, you’re just introducing me to him.”

“Still enough. Once I introduce you, you’re gonna get the deal. You’re a good shit-talker.”

“I hate you” he smirked “. Three questions each and we don’t talk about this ever again.”

“Our rankings, two questions each and we don’t talk about this again.”

“Deal.”

You both intertwined fingers and everyone cheered like it was some of the biggest deals made in history. You rolled your eyes, almost comically before grabbing your phone.

“Okay, what do you guys wanna know?.”

“How many people do you have on your list?” the first one to ask was Namjoon.

“Thirty-nine.”

“Damn.”

“Shut up, if you had a list you probably would have like three thousand.”

“Not true” Yoongi defended himself “. I can count them with my fingers.”

“And you will have to multiply them by ten.”

“She’s right, you’re kinda of a whore” Taehyung nodded “. A silent whore though, I’ve barely know your hookups.”

“Anyway” the rapper changed the subject “. Is it actually a ranking of who was the best?.”

“It’s not” you denied “. I just have the names of the people I have slept with and, you know, I just ranked them for different topics and write some comments” you smiled “. It started because I wanted to sleep with all zodiac signs and then I just keep going to remember how it was.”

“That’s crazy” Jin commented “. What topics?.”

“So only four of us are on the list?” Hobi questioned.

“Five actually” you blushed for the first time in the night.

“Wait, what?” the boy frowned “. I know about Tae, Jimin, Namjoon and Jungkook.”

“Surprise” Yoongi smiled.

“God” you shook your head “. So, yeah, I mean, it happened like six months ago.”

“I mean, everyone knew it was gonna happen eventually” Namjoon nodded.

“Weird you guys never talked about it” Jimin pointed out.

“Not that weird actually, they barely talked about their hookups” Taehyung said “. But everyone knows they’re sluts.”

“Ouch?” you chuckled “. We were kinda drunk, it wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“You didn’t answer my question” Jin took your attention.

“Why you wanna know so much?. You are not in the list” Jimin laughed.

“I want to know how bad are you guys.”

“Please, I probably have a ten out of ten score” the dancer said confidently “. Is a ten out of ten score, right?.”

“Yes and It’s not that big of a deal, to be honest” you shrugged “. It’s just how good you were, notes about what was the best and some comments.”

“Can I read it for you?” Hobi said with excitement.

“No, and you just finish your questions so shut it.”

“Okay, I wanna know my ranking and comments” Jungkook said with obviousness.

“Yeah, for everyone” Namjoon said.

“Just read it for us” Jimin nodded.

“You actually want me to read you rankings out loud?” you questioned.

“Duh.”

“Wait, why am I getting nervous?” the younger frowned “. I wasn’t bad, right?.”

“I know I wasn’t bad, we had a lot of sex, you wouldn’t have sex with the same person if-” Tae stopped himself mid sentence “- Why did you give me that look?!. Was I bad?!.”

“Oh, my god” Yoongi rolled his eyes “. Just read it.”

“As you wish.”

“Why are you scrolling that much?” Hobi sat next to you “. Wow, Taehyung you were her number twenty-four.”

“Get away” you pushed the dancer.

“I want to know too” Jin sat behind you to look at your screen “. Oh, wow.”

“Read it!.”

“Okay, okay. It’s very explicit.”

“Even better” everyone complained at Jimin’s comment.

“Is everyone sure…?”

“Yes!.”

You giggled at their impatience before looking at your phone. You couldn’t read that out loud, you fake gagged at the thought of doing it. It was easier when you were drunk and talking with your girls and not sober with seven boys trying to know who was best at fucking you.

“Shit, I can’t, it’s weird” you sighed “. By the way, I need to clarify that there is no person in the list that has a ten out of ten, there is just one guy that has nine point five out of ten and is none of you” everyone booed “. So if you feel that you’re low, believe me you’re not” Ho-seok smiled amused when you gave him your phone “. Okay, you read it.”

“Hurry up!.”

“Taehyung, eight out of ten. Big dick, he fucks really good when he’s mad and is usually very intense in the act. Comments: he’s down to try almost any weird shit, finger play goes crazy.”

Taehyung got up, smiling and bowing to the boys who pretended to throw up at the information.

“You heard it, baby girls. I’m big dick.”

“Shut up.”

“You can call me ‘big dick’ from now on, guys.”

“Let me read the parenthesis” Jin took everyones attention.

“No!, wait…”

“(He seems to always finish first and sometimes doesn’t care if you do).”

Everyone started laughing, Taehyung got all red and you hid your face with your hands, embarrassed

“That was one time because I had to catch a plane!. You told me it was okay…”

“I knew Tae wasn’t a giver” Jimin clicked his tongue “. Should give him a two out of ten.”

“By the way, everyone has a parenthesis” Jin smiled “. And it seems it’s the bad things.”

“Wow, you rated one guy two out of ten” Hobi chuckled “. It says ‘Bad eater, small dick’. Damn, you’re mean.”

“Don’t read that!” you threw him a pillow.

“I wanna know mine!” Namjoon interrupted.

“Let me go by order, Jungkook is number twenty-eight” the dancer talked, the younger look attentively “. Jungkook, seven point five out of ten.”

“Ha!” Tae laughed at him.

“Great sex, one time he made me come thrice in less than one hour, he’s really hot when goes dominant guy. Comments: his stamina is crazy, can fuck for hours, good at being submissive.”

“I want to know the parenthesis!.”

“Three times in less than an hour is crazy” Ho-seok muttered.

“Lacks self respect” Jin giggled.

“What?. What it does even mean?” Jungkook frowned.

“Uhm, you know” you cleared your throat “. I didn’t mean it as a bad thing, you’re cute. Is… you know?” you went silent.

“Stop stalling” the younger was confused “. What did you mean by that?.”

“Babe, you have never say no to anything I’ve ever wanted to do.”

“And?.”

“Oh” Yoongi chuckled “, I get it.”

“What it’s wrong with that?” Jungkoon asked.

“Dude, she’s a fucking freaky” Jimin said “. There are things even Tae probably said no to.”

“That’s true” the idol nodded “. And you’re not that freaky, Kook. Lack of self respect.”

“I mean, for me is great but people might take advantage of you” you grimaced.

“Didn’t you do that?” Jimin questioned.

“And why wouldn’t I?.”

The guys laughed and Jungkook sat back thinking about the comment.

“Okay, me next!.”

“Right, you” Hobi read the list “. Number thirty-four, Jimin. Eight out of ten too.”

Knows how to move and how to get you in the mood immediately, weirdly good at quickies. Comments: loves face riding as much as me, after care it’s amazing.

“You listen to it, whores!” Jimin sang excited “. I should have the ten out of ten. What can even be the bad comment?. Too much after care?.”

“Gets to much into it, forgets to keep you in the mood.”

Everyone started to made fun of him.

“So basically, you don’t know how to entertain her. You bored her” Yoongi sighed “. Oh, you’re that bad, uh.”

“It didn’t say that!.”

“Jimin is bad at sex…”

“Shut up, six out of ten.”

“I was seven point five!.”

“Next one is Joon” Hobi read “. Number thirty-five. Oh, wow, after Jimin.”

“Why would you say that?” you shook your head.

“I’m just reading, baby” he chuckled.

Namjoon, seven point five out of ten. Knows how to talk you through it, good dick. Comments: he’s hot. (loves cowgirl but doesn’t know when to change it, got tired of it.)

“That’s it?” the leader whined “. Why that low then?.”

“I mean, it was great” you tried to not put him down “. But we had sex once, it wasn’t that mind blowing… But it was great!.”

“What she’s trying to say is that you’re mid” Jimin smiled.

“Shut up, you bored her to death.”

“My god, can we just finish this?” you complained.

“Let’s give it up for Yoongi” Taehyung clapped “. I’m going to give it a guess and said one out of ten.”

“That’s why his hookups never come back” Jimin added to the joke.

“They only fucked once and Yoongi seems lazy, has to be lower than me” Namjoon said.

“I can’t believe you put me the same score as Namjoon and you guys only fucked once” Jungkook complained.

“Believe me, it’s a good rank. It doesn’t say you’re bad” you defended.

“Yoongi is number thirty-nine” Hoseok read “. Wait, he was your last one?.”

“Damn, was he that bad you had to go celibate?” Jimin joked.

“I’ve been busy and, honestly, I’ve been fucking a lot this last couple of years” you chuckled“. And since it was mostly mid or bad sex, I wanted mind blowing sex before stopping for a while.”

“And you chose Yoongi?.”

“He just happened to be there” you shrugged.

“Ouch?.”

“So now you’re looking to settle down?” Taehyung questioned.

“I don’t know yet but I’ve sworn celibacy, I will wait until a worthy opponent comes along” the guys laughed at your dumb comment but you were serious.

“Yoongi is nine out of ten.”

“What?!.”

Yoongi chuckled, playing with the end of his shirt while the other guys were shocked. You laughed a little and Hobi decided to continue.

Knows how to make you come, he’s hella good with his fingers. Comments: tongue technology theory confirmed, squirted for the second time ever

“Wow, okay, we didn’t need to know that” Hobi made a disgusted face.

“The only bad thing it says is that you could be better in after care” Jin told him.

“Could be better in after care?” Jimin opened his mouth, offended “. That’s the only bad thing?. How- I can’t believe it.”

“You only fucked once and you put him nine out of ten?. Oh, my god, so I was that bad” Namjoon seemed like he was about to do a tantrum.

“I can’t believe it” Jungkook whispered.

“Fucking shit. Okay, and that’s all” you grabbed your phone “. Let’s not speak about this ever again.”

“But…”

“The deal.”

“Ugh” Taehyung pouted.

“Just one last thing” Jungkook grabbed your attention “. Who has the nine point five out of ten?.”

“Why is that important?.”

“I just want to know the comments” he said, he was serious.

“Antoine Lafleche” Hobi said.

“How do you…?”

“The only thing it says was ‘Wow’. Took my attention.”

“Yeah, well, he was” you smiled slightly “. Met him when I travelled to Paris for the exchange of my fashion program” you sighed “. We spend the last week of my course together, it really was ‘wow’. Sadly, we never exchanged numbers or anything.”

Jungkook nodded before standing up “well, I hated the ranking. We should head home now, it’s late.”

“You’re right” Jin stood up too “. By the way, this was really fun.”

“For you, I can’t believe I had an eight out of ten. I can’t believe Yoongi got ranked better than me!” Jimin started complaining.

“Don’t talk about it!” you whined “Shit, just get out.”

Of course you knew they would talk about it, probably even complain and argue how one was better than the other. What you didn’t except was for them to make a bet. That night you went to sleep while the guys arrived to their complex, thinking about that list after the silent road to home was almost to quiet, everyone thinking how many other girls had ranked them as low as you.

“Seven point five” Jungkook snorted when he sat on the couch “. Not even an eight.”

“I feel you.”

“Shut up, you fucked once. We did it many times and she gave me the same score as you?” the younger groaned, annoyed “. This is unbelievable.”

“I can’t believe Yoongi has a nine out of ten. One more point than me!” Jimin complained “. She was probably too drunk and thought it was good.”

“That’s an insane comment” the rapper rolled his eyes “. And not my fault you guys don’t know how to actually be good in bed.”

“Well, at least I have a big dick” Tae shrugged.

“Can you guys shut the hell up” Jin rolled his eyes “. You’re all bad in bed, we get it.”

“Please, you would get a two out of ten” Jungkook said “. When was the last time you got laid, grandpa?.”

Jimin laughed “yeah, you would probably be the lowest.”

“I don’t know, I kinda trust Jin. He seems to have game” Taehyung nodded.

“Stop being weird” Ho-seok chuckled.

“I would get that ten” Jin said with confidence “. You all had comments, I would just get that number and none of that shit reviews.”

“I can’t believe a guy name Antoine got a ‘wow’, the fuck is that supposed to mean?” the younger rolled his eyes.

“That he was that good” Jimin hummed “. I’m gonna get that ten out of ten” he mumbled “. It’s gonna be a ten out of ten and period, no more comments, just that good and speechless.”

“You already have a eight out of ten, give up” Yoongi told him with annoyance.

“So what?, you think I can’t get a better score than you?.”

“I think you just can’t get good in bed” the rapper barked.

“Stop” Namjoon rolled his eyes “. She said she’s on celibacy or whatever, she won’t sleep with you guys.”

“Wanna bet?.”

“Yah!, stop betting shit” Taehyung scolded his friends.

“I’m just saying, I want it to make it more fun” he shrugged.

Jungkook snorted and shook his head “make what more fun?.”

“I mean, I will get that ten out of ten no matter what” he talked like it wasn’t a big deal “. I just thought it would be fun if we all actually had one more chance, you know?. To see who’s actually better.”

“You’re a weird shit, you know that?” Ho-seok crossed his arms.

“And you all are still thinking about it.”

The room went silent, everyone actually thinking about the deal. But it wasn’t just a deal, after that score, the guys were a little hurt, mostly their egos, they knew they were good in bed, they had a lot of people confirming that but to know that they weren’t the best at it was a little but hurt, even more when they were now in the top of the world. They wanted to show you that they could get that perfect score, and if they had to compete with someone for that, who was best that each other?. They were the best of the best, they were going to change that ranking.

“I actually don’t care” Jin laid back on the sofa “. But I’ll get that number ten just for fun.”

“You’re on” Taehyung immediately stood up “. I know her more than you guys, I’ll get that number.”

“You know her more and you still got that eight, sit back down” Jimin rolled his eyes.

“Are you really doing this?” Ho-seok shook his head.

“If you are that afraid of getting a bad number, back off” Namjoon made fun of his brother.

“Please” the dancer scoffed “. One night and I’ll get that ten, seven point five.”

“Don’t call me that!.”

“I don’t care about competing with any of you” Jungkook said “. I’ll work hard for that number, and I’ll get it.”

Yoongi snorted “I had one drunken night with her and she gave me a nine, give me ten minutes sober and I’ll get a fucking hundred.”

“Game on, baby!.”

You shouldn’t have shown them the list. Or maybe it was for the best?. Celibacy life wasn’t for you anyway.

this is me revealing as an insane ot7 😔🙏🏼

this is gonna be a flop but i was watching this guy on tiktok talking about this girl that rank him in bed a nine and how he lacked self respect and i was laughing so hard and then i was like waittt this is a good idea for a porn plot and then a bts edit appeared and i was like yea i need to write about it so here we are

this is gonna be like a lot of smut and i’m not that good at it but i wanna try it lmao so just for funzies and giggles u know

anyway next chapter soon hehe, i will also be editing and posting/editing the masterlist soon<33 just was too excited to post this

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