#when will overtime and burnout finally end.......

[seabirdtxt]

my god. i love you guys but out of the several asks in my inbox not a single one of you read my request rules 😔

to tl:dr -> i don't write fem!reader, and i don't write romance for fem!characters.

i promise this isn't the end of the world for you, there's a whole bunch of other blogs willing to write that stuff! just not me unfortunately

[evermourner]

how to deal with failure when all you know how to do is beat up yourself (as an adhder)

please read this if you are a chronic self-loather like myself.

i used to hate myself for everything i did; the way i talk and walk, my accomplishments, my daily activities, how i cannot keep up with my peers, all that jazz. and especially as a late-diagnosed adhder this gets worse overtime. i ended up getting into a 6-month burnout, failed 3 classes and have to extend one semester, and i had lost my identity as a person.

overall i was just a breathing, walking flesh with depressive thoughts every day.

but after many many months of rediscovering myself, i have come up with the conclusion that life gets easier when i don't fucking hate myself.

shocker, right? ik this is probably like a 'obviously' type of thing, but i think many ppl with adhd can confirm that this is one of the hardest pills to swallow.

but trust me, you don't need to feel bad!!! and i will tell you how to do it down below. pls read, i hope it helps.

(keep in mind im not a psychiatrist or a therapist btw i just wanna help fellow ppl with adhd)

reminder #1: adhd makes you more prone to making mistakes - beating yourself up for every failure is torture.

as people with adhd, we are more prone to making more mistakes and questionable decisions. we are just built that way. we can work on it, but that's our baseline.

self loathing encourages you to beat up your baseline. your default state. your non-productive mode.

beating yourself up for making a mistake is literally like beating up a cat for sleeping. humans are bound to make mistakes, and us with adhd are bound to make more. it's fine, let yourself breathe. im not saying we cannot do anything right or that our mistakes are permissible, but missing an alarm clock or forgetting things we want to say are not surprising. it's just embedded inside us, so either be miserable for the rest of your life or work on reframing your thoughts on failure in general.

reminder #2: you can learn how to be better even if you don't beat yourself up for it

these neurotypical adults who tell you that you should feel bad about failing are stupid. and whoever tell you that negative reinforcement is needed for you to get better are the dumbest motherfuckers ever.

you don't need to feel bad to ge better.

in fact, once you don't feel too bad about it, you can focus more on how to do better in the future instead of replaying the past over and over again.

literally after almost failing college, i only realized that i should not be hard on myself. literally. i remember deciding i should try being nice on myself and now boom! i feel better AND i actually have been working towards fixing my life more and more.

and you know whats the best part?? i can finally start enjoying my life again!!

reminder #3: not everything you do is a failure. seriously.

this is a thought pattern i keep seeing in every person with adhd.

"nothing i can do is right" WRONG!!!! you do some things wrong but you also do some things right!!!! quit discrediting yourself

now try acknowledging your failures:

cry about it first. let yourself sit in and feel your feelings first. you can continue after you finish crying about it

do some form of meditation that helps you clear out your mind. i suggest just 5 minutes or until you don't feel as heavy anymore

let yourself know that failing is an action and consequence, not a part of your identity. it is not you: you are someone who succeeds and fails sometimes. you can fail, but that does not mean everything you do will be a failure.

identify what kind of failure you're thinking about , why you feel so shitty about it, and what you should do for next time. it'd be good if you could write this down. here is an example from me:

failure: failing out of class

what happened: i failed bc i kept procrastinating and ended up sleeping in, so i could not submit on time

consequences of event: i had to retake the class, paid a significant amount of money, and now i cant graduate on time with my friends

why i feel shitty: i feel so left behind and stupid. i feel like this is such a stupid mistake that was easily avoidable.

and now i have so many thoughts in my mind right now, like "how can i be so stupid? how can i be so careless? this is such a stupid mistake."

now notice. if you also think like this, you are actively judging yourself. you are being so mean to yourself, and for what? would you ever told your friends they are so stupid and dumb for making careless mistakes? even if it's stupid, you wouldn't say it to their faces.

after identifying everything, confirm what actually happened, reframe your thoughts, and apologize to yourself:

"How can I be so careless?" -> It's not intentional, and I did try my best to work on it. It's not my fault my executive dysfunction took over the better part of me.

"How can I be so stupid?" -> Just because I cannot initiate tasks as well as the others, it doesn't mean i'm stupid. i am pretty good at other things, i cannot expect myself to be good at everything.

"This is such a stupid mistake." -> It is stupid, and that's... okay. It's fine. I accept it, I'll work on how to make it better in the future.

when you combat negative thoughts, make sure you combat them not only with facts but also with empathy and future action-focused thoughts.

the key is to focus on what you can do now, not what you should have done.

because focusing on the past is very very unhelpful.

now please focus on what you can do now:

Make small goals for the future.

What you should not say:

"I promise I will try harder to focus" -> Nope, you are relying on your ADHD symptom to not be ADHD anymore... which is impossible.

"I promise I won't forget next time" -> Same thing.

"I promise I will make a routine that I will stick to" -> This is too idealist, don't commit to anything for a long run, it's just setting yourself up for more failure.

What you should say instead:

"Next time, I will try to write it down so I won't forget next time" -> Tell yourself the clear steps on what you need to do. You cannot rely on your brain to just be better, come up with actions that can support you!

"Next time, I will set more alarms and ask a friend to remind me. In fact, I will do it now" -> Commit to things you can do immediately! The faster, the better so you won't lose this momentum. Stop thinking that your future self is 100% reliable. Always assume you need to do it as soon as possible to help yourself in the future.

"Next time, I will try out this routine and see if it works or not" -> Experiment with routines. Routines don't last long, so don't give youreelf empty promises. Instead, accept that your routine will chance every once in a while so you need to learn what works or not.

Apologize and forgive yourself

Say sorry to yourself.

It's normal to make mistakes, and it's unrealistic to think you won't make more.

Move on

Seriously. Don't sit on it too much.

Once you know what you need to do to not fail in the future and you have written it down... just let it go.

You don't need to feel bad to grow. You don't need to feel bad to be better.

You are allowed to feel good about yourself.

In fact, you should feel better about yourself now because you are showing your commitment to getting better by reading this long ass post.

Pat yourself in the back.

Failure has its consequences already, you don't need to punish yourself more. Please get something nice.

Failing is EXHAUSTING. Please give yourself a snack or some gaming time.

Allow yourself to breathe.

We are humans, we are not failures. We succeed and fail sometimes, not all the time.

Be nice to yourself, you have been through a lot.

[lionhanie]

the first snow (lee riwoo)

working during the holidays isn’t too bad with sanghyeok by your side 

co-worker!riwoo x gn!reader (non-idol au) 

this work is my contribution to @onedoornet’s christmas event, a very onedoor christmas! check it out here!

word count: 4.1k ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ genre: fluff

warnings: a pinch of angst i'd say (alluding to burnout/seasonal depression), reader is a people pleaser, i curse maybe twice lol, riwoo is referred to as sanghyeok! 

a/n: SORRY I KNOW CHRISTMAS IS OVER…. had fun writing it regardless :,) hope u enjoy ^^

reblogs ↺  + feedback always appreciated!

Being one of the younger workers in the office was frustrating to say the least. Pausing your work to complete trivial tasks in the middle of the workday – making copies of a meeting agenda, fetching your seniors’ morning coffees, reorganizing the ridiculously large stack of your current client’s files – the list seemed to never end. For some reason, everyone around you was conveniently occupied with something so urgent that they couldn’t attend to the matters themselves, leaving the responsibility up to you. Sometimes you felt like you spent more time faced with useless errands than doing the work you were hired to do in the first place.

You were expecting a bit more respect from your peers when you were appointed as the team leader for your company’s newest project, but you were quick to realize your naivety in the earlier group meetings, finding that no one seemed to take you seriously. You would’ve thought that because the other members on the project had years of experience on their side, surely they’d be able to hold their weight to a certain extent... Right?

Painfully enough, it was the complete opposite. You can’t count the number of times one of the more “experienced” workers asked you to repeat a detail you’d discussed just minutes prior, or proposed a suggestion that completely contradicted the end goal of your client– it was clear to you that no one saw your leadership as more than a joke, no matter how hard you tried. 

And to top it all off, your company was structured in such a way that made it nearly impossible for you to speak up against your elders. Your word as a senior associate meant close to nothing if you were going against one of the partners of the firm. It didn’t matter that you put in ten times more effort than your team members, it was almost as if they were praised according to how long they’ve been in the office.

Safe to say you were relieved when Sanghyeok was added as a member of the team you were leading on a random Tuesday afternoon. Not that you two were close by any means – the extent of your interactions consisted of small smiles exchanged in passing in the printer room or short discussions of weekend plans over coffee in the break room. Rather, you were hopeful that his addition to the project would mean someone would finally start contributing even a fraction of the work you were putting in.

Even though you dread your bi-weekly team meetings, it was so much more rewarding to at least one other person cared about the success of the project. Sanghyeok was always in his unassigned-assigned seat right by the projector, intently nodding along to your agenda and taking notes when he deemed necessary. Hell, he’d even chime in whenever someone would ask a question that was obviously answered earlier in the presentation, giving you the chance to save your breath for something that actually mattered, and shooting you a cheeky grin afterwards, clearly satisfied helping you whenever he could. 

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ Four days before the deadline. . .

Everyone begins to pack up their belongings the second it hits 5:00PM, slowly but surely filing out of the office before it gets too dark. It was no surprise to see your colleagues zipping up their briefcases far earlier than you planned on clocking out; the project deadline crept up on you faster than you’d like to admit, and your mostly incompetent team forced you to work overtime a majority of the recent weeks. In any other case, you probably wouldn’t be breaking your back hunched over your keyboard hours after the sun had set, but because the project was in your name, it pained you to present a finished product you weren’t proud of. 

“You aren’t leaving yet, Y/N?” You look up from your monitor, finding Sanghyeok looking at you from across your cubicle, wrapping a plush scarf around his neck. His eyes are full of concern– he’s noticed the way you never seem to budge once your peers start going home for the night. Even on days when he logs off later than he’d initially planned to, you’re still there, typing away at your desk.

“Agh, our Y/N is always so hardworking! They never seem to leave with the rest of us,” Alvin, a senior on your project notorious for sending in half-assed work far past the deadline you set for him, comments from his seat beside you. “I could never put in as much work as you do, not when I’ve got a family waiting for me at home!” Yeah, no shit. It’s hard to believe he’s stayed at the company so long performing the same quality of work you were doing in your first year in the office.

His words stung a bit, feeling oddly bitter at the idea of someone like him having people who loved him waiting for him to return from work– Coming back home to an empty apartment late at night never used to bother you, but something about the long winter nights and freezing temperatures made it undoubtedly sad in nature. It wasn’t just the weather making your loneliness feel colder than usual. 

The smile you return is painfully fake, something Sanghyeok clocks almost immediately. He gnaws on his lip, wanting to say something to the senior, ultimately deciding to hold back on it given how new he was to the project. Maybe it wasn’t his place. He didn’t want to make things worse for you by saying something out of line. Alvin shrugs his coat onto his back, quickly leaving the premises without another word. 

“If I didn’t see you in a new outfit everyday, I’d think you slept at your desk,” Sanghyeok jokes, trying to lighten the mood. From his first meeting with the new team, he quickly learned to admire the way you seemed to take charge when you needed to. It was impressive the way you’d joined the company later than he had, and were already put in charge of such a big task. He knew exactly how it felt to deal with all the stupid tasks from the other seniors in the office, finding himself doing the same thing for weeks before you came in. 

You chuckle pitifully, mainly towards yourself. “At this point, I should stop paying rent and start living at my desk.” You groan as you take a break for a well-needed stretch, your back cracking from your poor posture. “Some days I feel like I’m in the office more than my apartment.” Your words are lighthearted, but Sanghyeok notices the underlying melancholy in your statement. 

And Sanghyeok takes his leave, only after wishing you good luck and a “get home safe” as he always does, but he can’t stop thinking about how much time you’ve been putting into your work. He’s constantly shut down whenever he asks you if there’s anything else he can help with, just wanting to take a fraction of the load off your plate.

He knows you’re doing it just to be nice. You’re the type of person to take on a burden all on your own, even if it means committing to the ungodly hours you’ve become so used to. Even on the bus ride home, Sanghyeok can’t shake your tired eyes out of his mind. For some reason, it hurts to imagine you slowly killing yourself over a silly project all because no one had the decency to bother trying when they knew you’d fix it for them anyways. He wanted to do more… No, he needed to do more. 

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ Three days before the deadline. . .

Sanghyeok wonders how you’re always earlier than him when he walks into the office, finding you so put-together and diligently editing the project presentation when he’s still groggy after his commute to work. 

The workload around the holidays is never too demanding, thankfully the company’s clients normally don’t ask for much as the year comes to an end. In your case, however, all your time is spent on trying to perfect the project proposal for your overwhelmingly-nitpicky boss. You’re convinced it’s some sort of test to see how good you’d be leading a team before you get the promotion you’ve been waiting on for the past couple months. Even if you make it out of your boss’ critiques alive, you’re certain you’ve lost countless years off your life with all the stress weighing down on you. 

You lock eyes with Sanghyeok every once in a while, finding him peeking over the divider separating your desks more than normal. That’s odd. You figure it’s probably because he has a question about the numerous items that still need fixing on the project. It doesn’t occur to you that he wants to talk to you until he rises from his chair, tapping his pen on the top of your monitor to catch your attention.

“I don’t know if you saw, but I just fixed a lot of the trouble areas you mentioned in the meeting the other day,” He’s excessively clicking the pen in his free hand, feeling oddly nervous to show you his work even when he knows he did everything properly– He knows how high your expectations are when it comes to your job. “I’m pretty sure I made sure to do everything you asked for, but you might want to double-check if I missed anything.”

The gasp of relief you let out is uncharacteristically loud, so much so that it earns you a side-eye from Alvin, who was currently playing solitaire at his desk next to you. He’d just saved you hours of overtime with his work, finding everything done to a tee. “No, no, this is perfect. I was dying to fix those until I realized I forgot Christian told me to come with him for his fieldwork later and–”

“It doesn’t matter who goes with him, right? I’ll go with him instead.”

“Huh? Are you sure? I don’t mind, plus he specifically asked me so maybe–”

“Y/N, it’s fine, really! I used to go on client visits all the time before he started dragging you along with him. I’ll be okay, promise!” He’s confident in his words, reassuring you of all the concerns he knew were starting to bubble up in your head. “I know you’ve been worried about getting everything done before the deadline, you shouldn’t have to waste your precious time following him around and pretending like you care about his wife.” 

The comment makes you giggle, everyone knew the senior for the way he could go on and on about his family life knowing damn well no one was actually listening to his neverending rants. “Thank you, Sanghyeok. It means a lot, really.”  

“Maybe we’ll be able to leave at the same time today, yeah?”

 

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ Two days before the deadline. . .

The following day, after everyone else in the office logged out for the night, Sanghyeok sneaks back into the office. He made it his mission to discreetly plant a care package for you while you’re busy in the printer room– It’s nothing big, no, rather just a hot cup of tea and a sandwich he’d purchased from the cafe across the street from the building. 

You’d offhandedly mentioned the way you get so immersed in your work without anyone peering over your shoulder that you forget to cater to your growing hunger, often resorting to eating instant ramen in the break room before returning to your desk. Sanghyeok knew how much the project meant to you, but that didn’t mean he was going to let you neglect your health just for a positive response from your old boss.   

You’re confused when you come back to your cubicle, finding all of your previously haphazardly scattered project papers perfectly organized in a folder by the edge of the desk. The lid was taken off the cup of tea, presumably to let it cool down a bit before drinking. Huh? The note atop the sandwich container answered the questions lingering in your mind.

hope you don’t mind me moving some stuff around on your desk :p  eat up before you get back to work! good luck y/n!  sanghyeok (  ≧ᗜ≦)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ One day before the deadline. . .

“You think Alvin will mind if I borrow his spot today?” Sanghyeok questions, swiveling around in an office chair that didn’t belong to him.

“You could probably erase all the files off his computer and he wouldn’t bat an eye,” You joke as you sort through the stacks of papers residing on your desk, looking for a particular document. “I’m convinced he gets paid to just sit there and play card games for eight hours.” 

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him touch his keyboard.” Sanghyeok chuckles before logging into the computer beside you.

“Why’re you using his computer though? You’re not going home yet?” 

“I think it’s only fair for me to help you finish the proposal when we’re supposed to be submitting it tomorrow,” Sanghyeok answers matter-of-factly. You watch as he opens up the same powerpoint you’ve been staring at on his own monitor. It’s quiet for a few minutes, the only sounds coming from the occasional clicks of your mouse. “...Doesn’t it get lonely working all by yourself?”

You pause to think for a moment. It’s not the worst thing in the world, you’re sure you wouldn’t be capable of doing it everyday if it was that unbearable. “No, not really. If anything, it’s nice to not have anyone pulling me away from my desk for some stupid shit– Sorry, stupid stuff.” You correct yourself. 

“I know we’re still at work and all, but you don’t need to censor yourself when it’s just us. I’m not gonna snitch on you for cursing on the clock, Y/N.” He teases, not surprised to see that you’re still in work-mode even when the office is practically empty. 

“Oops, just force of habit. I'd rather die than accidently curse in front of one of the oldies we work with,” You smile sheepishly, feeling at ease with him at your side. You’re not sure when you grew so fond of the man – maybe it’s because of how similar you are in age or the way he’s always so quick to defend you in the meeting room – but he’s always felt like more of a friend than a co-worker in times like these. “...It’s nice to have some company for a change, though. Felt like I was going insane looking at the same documents all by myself.” 

“It’s okay to admit you get lonely sometimes, Y/N.” Sanghyeok pauses his typing to look at you, his eyes soft when they meet yours. “I was thinking about it on my way home the other day, you know, the way you willingly stay in the office after everyone leaves every night. It’s hard to imagine it isn’t difficult being by yourself all the time.”

You’re silent, knowing that he’ll see through you no matter what you say. Sure, you had your fair share of moments sitting crying at your desk, in fear that your efforts wouldn’t pay off despite how much you’ve been trying, but that doesn’t mean you need his help. You made it this far all on your own, after all. 

And when you fall asleep at your desk, exhaustion finally catching up to you, Sanghyeok doesn’t hesitate to rest a sweater on your back. He knows how upset you’ll be once you wake up, bummed that you dozed off at such a crucial time, but he’s more than happy to let you sleep for a bit before gently shaking you awake after a well-deserved power nap. 

“Shit, how long was I knocked out for?” Embarrassed, you rub the sleep from your eyes, turning away to yawn. 

“It wasn’t even thirty minutes, you’ll be fine Y/N. I finished editing a section of the report while you were sleeping too.” You tap on your mouse, waking up the black screen, happy to see that a good chunk of the comments you’d made on the document were long resolved. “Can you promise me something?” 

You’re offset by the sudden serious mood lingering between you two, but you slowly nod regardless. “Even when this project is over, will you promise to come to me if you need help?” 

“I know I only joined your team recently, but I want you to know you can depend on me. It’s not fair for you to do all this on your own,” Sanghyeok can sense the way you’re processing his request in your mind, watching as you hesitate to answer. “I know it’s probably weird coming from someone who’s only been here a couple months longer than you, but I promise I’ll try my best if you ever need me.” 

“Okay.”

“...So that means you won’t try to turn me down whenever I offer to do something for you, right?” 

“Yes, Sanghyeok, I won’t turn you down when you try to help me.” You roll your eyes at him before turning back to your computer, missing the way his face lights up at your response, proudly smiling to himself. 

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ The day of the deadline. . .

You’re sure you could cry tears of joy when you send the final version of your project proposal to your boss. There were a few sections you wish you had more time to perfect, but it was impossible without an extension to your deadline– There’s nothing else to do but wait until you get feedback, which is entirely out of your hands at this point. 7:15PM. It’s still two hours past the usual 5:00PM ending time, but far earlier than you’ve clocked out in the past two weeks. 

“You’re actually leaving at the same time as me? I’m not dreaming, right?” Sanghyeok pinches at his cheek, earning a giggle from you in response. 

“Well, I just forwarded all the documents to our boss. Felt like I deserved at least one early night during the holidays,” You close your eyes as you fall back in your chair, letting out a content sigh knowing there wasn’t anything else you had to do for a while. “God, I don’t know what I’d do without you, Sanghyeok.” 

He holds the door for you after you’ve both collected all of your belongings, bundled up for the harsh temperatures waiting for you outside the building. The elevator ride down is silent until the man next to you clears his throat, prompting you to look at him. “So, do you have plans tonight?”

“Ah, not really. I was planning on picking up some dinner at the convenience store before heading back to my place.” He nods, fiddling with his tie in a feeble attempt to calm down his nerves from what he was about to do. 

“Can I take you out to dinner, Y/N?” Your eyes widen slightly, unsure what to make of the question. Was he… asking you on a date right now? It wasn’t out of the ordinary for coworkers to share a meal off the clock, but the fact that it was just the two of you had your brain malfunctioning. “...You know, as a thank you for working so hard on the project! It’s the least I can do.” Sanghyeok laughed nervously, hand flying up to the back of his neck as he waited for your response. 

It doesn’t take long for you to decide your answer, nodding in confirmation, feeling slightly bashful at the sudden act of appreciation you weren’t used to receiving, especially not at work. There’s a pep in his step as he brings to you one of his favorite ramen spots, a hole-in-the-wall joint tucked away from the main streets. It’s cute, honestly. You’ve learned a lot about your coworker in recent days, but this side of him was entirely new to you. 

You’re glad you trusted his recommendations when you take your first bite, the hot broth immediately melting the chills you garnered from the short walk there. Despite this being your first interaction with Sanghyeok outside of work, there’s no awkwardness in your time spent together– Instead, a fuzzy feeling rests in your chest as you look at the man sitting across the table from you. Perhaps it’s due to the newfound absence of pressure on your back from sending in the project proposal, or maybe because it’s the first time you’ve allowed yourself a proper meal in days, but it’s a feeling you don’t wish to lose any time soon. 

Usually you’re one to rush back home immediately after dinner, not wanting to lose any second of rest you have before you’re forced to go back to the hell you call work, but you’re more than happy to accept Sanghyeok’s invitation to go to a nearby bar for some drinks following the meal you shared. It’s there you realize he’s a lot wittier than he comes off as when you’re on the clock, your cheeks aching from smiling so hard at his endless supply of jokes. 

You don’t stay there long, only garnering a couple drinks before finding yourself walking around one of the parks in the area you didn’t even know existed, gawking at the string lights adorning the trees. Work was taking up all of your attention that you didn’t even have the time to decorate your apartment for the holidays like you normally would’ve. This was the closest thing you could get, but you were far from complaining. 

“I never expected you to be like this, Sanghyeok.” You confess after coming down from the fit of laughter he’d induced with one of his stupid puns.

“What do you mean?” He asks, worried that he’d done something wrong. 

“Oh, I wasn’t trying to say anything bad! You’re just… A breath of fresh air, I guess.” Your words emit a cloud of vapor in the frigid air.  “I’m sorry I didn’t notice it sooner, I’ve been a real shut-in especially with the deadline and–”

“You don’t need to apologize for that, Y/N.” He cuts you off; he’s well aware of your tendency to apologize for things that you didn’t need to be sorry for in the first place. It was one of the only things he wished he could change about you, wanting you to give yourself more credit for the love you poured into everything you did. “I just wanted to make your life easier, I guess. Thanks for giving me the chance to do that tonight.” 

“I should really be the one thanking you. You’ve been nothing short of helpful ever since you joined our team,” Thinking back on the past couple days, Sanghyeok never once shied away from doing things to ease your burdens, even going out of his way so you could focus all your attention onto what mattered most to you. “It’s like you were some sort of holiday miracle sent to me.” 

Unwrapping the scarf from his neck, Sanghyeok carefully loops it around the back of your head, securing it snugly at the front of your jacket. “It’s freezing… You should really be layering up more.” He’s glad the lighting on the trees is too dim for you to see the blush creeping up his neck after seeing you in his clothes. He’d probably blame it on the frosty air if you called him out on it. “Ah, it’s snowing!” 

The gaze you were previously sharing is broken as you look up, crystal white snowflakes slowly sinking from the sky. It was surreal to be standing in the middle of the park, ambient light illuminating the way the snow ended their descent atop your heads, your shared laughter harmonizing at the sight.

And despite the cold weather, you felt warm standing next to him.

© lionhanie 2025 ; all rights reserved!

[j-trow-95]

2024 in review

Thanks for the tags @artsyunderstudy and @nausikaaa

Wow. 2024 has been ... a year.

I've spent this last year flip-flopping between periods of intense creativity and intense burnout. I've barely posted anything on here, and even less over on AO3, but I have been writing, and the plot gremlins have been working overtime when it comes to planning out where the WIPs are going.

Object permanence and keeping timelines straight in my head are things I struggle with, so I can't remember exactly when I actually achieved any of these things, but I did, and that's all that matters.

Huge thanks as always to Ashton for the incredible artwork in this fic, and for the beta help along with my editor Zoë, @cutestkilla and @iamamythologicalcreature

I posted one chapter of The Trails We Blaze, my 2023 @carryonthroughtheages fic, which is a SnowBaz/The Road to El Dorado au.

Simon and Baz have been through a lot together. Growing up as criminals on London's streets; surviving the Great War; dealing with a lot of repressed feelings. But after their latest con goes wrong, they're left with nothing but an ancient map, a signet ring of unknown provenance or value, and promises of a city that doesn't even exist.

Thrust into a world of adventure with danger at every turn, they're forced to decide how far they're willing to go for a myth, a fortune, and a chance at love.

This fic is going to be a real labour of love and I have big plans for it going forward. If you haven't started it yet, here's what to expect:

adventure across post WW1 England, France, and Spain

exciting action

political machinations

idiots in love pining for each other

epic romance (when they eventually get their shit together)

I know roughly how this is going to end, and I have a first draft up to the 'It's Tough to be a God' sequence (if you know the original film), but I'm currently trying to rewrite a large section of that draft. Discovery writing has been a massive learning curve for me, but I'm excited to get back to this fic and the characters.

Again, massive thanks to Ashton for the stunning artwork of Lauren. I never stop geeking out over the fact I get to call this incredible woman my friend, and that I get to actually look at my chaos gremlin MC anytime I want!

Most of my time writing this year has been spent on approximately the billionth rewrite of my original novel, A Survivor's Revenge.

I am desperate to get this story into the hands of readers, whether that's though trad or indie publishing, and so far I've had good feedback from my editor and alpha reader on the previous draft. But me being me, I couldn't leave it at that.

So now I'm rewriting the book and completely changing the way it's written. The shift from 3rd person/past tense to 1st person/present tense has finally got things moving in terms of developmental edits; the plot flows more smoothly, character interactions and growth are coming more naturally, and for once the villain motivations and plans are becoming clear! Praise the chaos gods.

Lauren Atkins is many things. Student. Daughter. Friend. But at her core, she’s a survivor. And she has one thing on her mind … revenge.

For the lovers of genre spanning sci-fi, morally grey main characters, full spectrum queer identities, and found family, A Survivor’s Revenge will have you asking, how far are you willing to go to protect the ones you love?

I went back and looked at some super old drafts of ASR a couple of months ago; after a conversation with my alpha reader decided to reinstate an old plot line that I'd shelved, and I am super excited to get back to this one. Lauren has become even more morally grey since I last handled this plot line, so things are going to get very bloody very quickly.

So the last two months have been spend sporadically rewriting this behemoth, and I'll be continuing that into January. Originally I was doing this as part of the PaWriCo writing challenge, but I don't think I'll manage to finish the full draft by the end of January. Currently it's sitting at 27.3k words, and if I wanted to hit par I should've been at 65.2k. So, likelihood of hitting 100k by 31st January is minimal.

This little floof is largely the reason for me falling behind.

Benjamin has been back in the vets consistently since the end of November for scans and surgeries, and now for an ongoing infection following the most recent surgery. It's safe to say my nerves and wallet are strained to the maximum, but he's 100% worth it.

So yeah. 2024 may not have been the most productive year for writing, but things have been happening behind the scenes, and I'm hopeful that I'll be able to share more in the new year.

I've missed interacting with people on here, I'm tired of just lurking. This chaos gremlin is back, baby!

Tagging (sorry if you've already done something like this):  @aristocratic-otter @blackberrysummerblog @bookish-bogwitch @cutestkilla @emeryhall

@hushed-chorus @iamamythologicalcreature @ic3-que3n @ileadacharmedlife @letraspal @orange-peony

@shrekgogurt @skeedelvee @theearlgreymage @you-remind-me-of-the-babe 

[st-playhouse-story-blog]

Lore Time)))

Jobs That Didn't Work Out...

___________________________________________

Before getting at Freddy's, Vincent had worked at many different places and had some rough luck. Almost every year, he found himself in a new job, and every time ended up being fired for the same reasons or leaving on his own and never going back to any of them.

For example, working as a waiter in a local Chinese restaurant called "Golden Dragon", Vincent only lasted three months before being fired for poor service quality.

Working there was very tiring for him, with the sheer number of orders and duties, and was difficult to communicate with the staff, who mainly spoke in their own Chinese, making it hard to understand them. As a result, he developed some prejudice towards them...

But in turn Vincent was also a constant source of trouble for both the staff and management. He frequently made mistakes such as getting orders wrong, forgetting them entirely, mixed up the bills, leaving tables uncleared or dropped dishes in front of the restaurant's customers — which was the final straw for management that led to his dismissal. So for every mistake, Vincent had to work overtime or do extra tasks beyond his regular duties to ensure he didn't lose his pay.

A huge weight was lifted off Vincent's shoulders when he was finally fired from that cursed job. Almost immediately after being dismissed, the very next day, Scott hired him as a security guard at Fazbear's place, for the second time...

Vincent found it much more enjoyable to work at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Place, observing the mechanical movements of the singing animatronics, repairing them and the arcade machines, as well as observing children's fun, than dealing with grumpy, nitpicky staff and listen to the anger and complaints of the Chinese restaurant's guests almost every day.

-------------------------------------------------------

___________________________________________

Renata is a very talented fashion designer, although "talented" seems insufficient to describe her. She's a true professional, with an eye for detail and a knack for infusing her designs with an innovative flair. Every stitch and every element is meticulously crafted and refined to highlight the beauty and practicality of her creations.

Choosing to be a stay-at-home seamstress was her own choice. She enjoys being her own boss and employee, relishes in her independence, and being free from the watchful eye of others feels like a breath of fresh air to her.

Once, she worked for a prominent fashion house in California as a designer. After working there for two and a half years, she left due to the demanding schedule and feeling of burnout in her working environment, as well as the pressure from her superiors.

After leaving California, she moved back to her hometown of Hurricane, where met Vincent (who was working at Fredbear's Family Diner at the time), and married him.

Almost a year she didn't even touch her sewing machine or anything related to sewing, but then the wave of inspiration and the yearning for sewing hit her again. And here's she established her own atelier, where she takes on custom orders, repairs clothing, and even tries creating her own clothing collections to sell.

And of course, she doesn't forget about her loved ones. Every shopping trip couldn't go without her professional eye. Typically, she picks out Vincent's clothes on her own, as well as for Brandy, since when it comes to fashion, she trusts only herself.

-------------------------------------------------------

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Joe Velasco: Magic Carpet Ride  

There is now a second part to this Disclosure. Both can be read as standalones.

You drop onto the couch with a huff. Exhaustion was the only emotion you could feel, echoing up your body from your toes in harsh waves. You had been working overtime at the forensic lab since you started there almost eight months ago. The scandal and retesting of forensic evidence for the last two years of narcotics and some homicide cases that involved Narcotics was almost over. Five people had been fired and prosecuted, turning on their outside accomplices, leading to big arrests. There was talk of IPB leaving soon and letting the lab get back to having its own autonomy. Not that you had ever experienced that at this lab. You had come to help following the breaking of the scandal. The stress and micromanagement had been so much that you wondered if you were crazy for accepting and then continuing to stay. But finally, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

“More over time?” Joe looked up from the files that he had spread over the coffee table. You groaned in response leaning back onto the couch and dropping your bag on the floor. After late night shifts you had gotten into the habit of stopping and subsequently staying the night at Joe’s house. You both often used the excuse that his apartment was just closer to the precinct and therefore more convenient. You had been doing this, non-defined, label-less relationship for just shy of five months. 

“I just feel like I can’t say no. The money and experience, it’s too good to pass up.” Joe hummed while taking a sip of his beer, analyzing your slumped form on his couch. You had yet to take off your coat or shoes and he could feel the exhaustion radiating from you. The tap of the bottle being placed back on the coffee table was the only warning you got before your legs were swung up into his lap. He unzips your boots and pulls them off setting them down neatly on the floor. His strong hands start rubbing your feet.  

“You need to learn. You’re going to burn yourself out at the rate you're going.” His hands are talented, and you lean further back against the arm of the chair.  

“If you weren’t being so nice to me, I would point out that you were up doing paperwork. But since you are, I’ll just smile and say you're right.” He paused his ministrations. 

“Really?” He was surprised that you gave in so easily. You were headstrong and liked to argue just for the sake of it sometimes. He hadn’t expected such an easy win.  

“Yeah, I’m starting to feel the effects of working so much.” His hands started moving up your calves stroking them absentmindedly. “I was thinking about it today actually. You know I’ve lived in New York for almost a year, and I haven’t even seen the touristy places. I’ve been talking about going to Coney Island since I moved here and I’m not closer to going than I was when I lived ten and half hours away.” You sigh before shaking your head at yourself. The idea that has been flashing through your mind won’t settle. “I’m going to use a sick day tomorrow. I just don’t think I have it in me to go back to the lab.” You had been working mandatory six days a week. Joe was right, you were feeling the burnout. 

“I think that is a good idea.” You reach for him, and he leans over you. You cup his cheek pulling him in for a kiss. It is slow and soft. His mouth was hot and followed the lead of your lazy kiss. It broke with a few lingering pecks on the lips. “You ready for bed baby? You look like you're falling asleep sitting up.” 

The two of you headed to the bedroom. Joe offered you a shirt to sleep in which you refused, teasing him that he is like sleeping against a furnace at night. You stripped down to just your cotton underwear and climbed into his arms reveling in the feel of his bare chest pressing against yours, your bodies tangled together. You had called the lab while getting ready for bed telling them that you wouldn’t be coming in the following morning because of food poisoning. 

Joe turned off the bedside lamp blanketing the room darkness. You had told him to wake you when he left for work, and you would head back to your apartment. You feel a kiss pressed to your temple before you're tucked under his chin. You barely have time to smile against his neck before you’ve drifted off. 

Something doesn’t feel quite right as you start to wake up the next morning. It takes you only a moment to realize what it is. Your body is no longer curled into Joe’s warm chest but the sad replacement of his pillow that only held trace amounts of his scent and body heat. The other was the sun was much higher in the sky than it should be. Had Joe not woken you up when he left for work? You found that hard to believe. Had you slept through his wake-up call, and he had given up? That also seemed unlikely but with how tired you had been last night, maybe? 

Joe walked into the bedroom, freshly showered and dressed in street clothes holding a cup of coffee. “Oh, good you’re awake, I thought I might have to wake you before you slept the entire day away.” He set his cup down sitting next to you on the bed. You sat up against the headboard watching him in confusion. He leaned over to kiss you and you made a face at the bitter taste of coffee still lingering on his lips.  

“Joe, what time is it, should you be at work?”  

“I guess your food poisoning was contagious.” The absurdity of the statement and your still half-asleep brain took a moment to process his meaning.   

“You’re playing hooky with me today?” You smile letting the covers drop from your naked chest. “You’re overdressed for the occasion.” Your greedy hands slid from his chest down towards the buckle of his belt. His hand caught yours pausing its movements on his lower stomach.  

“Sorry baby, not this time.” You tilt your head in confusion, searching his eyes. “We are already running behind, and we still have to stop at your apartment for you to get some clean clothes.” 

“Late for what?”  

“Coney Island.” You hadn’t thought much about your words last night. You had just been thinking out loud. Joe was one of the easiest people for you to talk to. While he had been sitting on the couch listening, he had felt a sense of guilt. He after all was part of the reason that you that you hadn’t been out much. You were working a lot but when you weren’t you had been hooking up with him. Sure, you went out to bars and the occasional place for food but mostly you guys spend your time in his apartment. He liked being around you, you were good company and the sex between the two of you had gone from great to better. There was an undeniable chemistry between the two of you. He didn’t want to tarnish a good thing by making you think that he didn’t care about what you wanted to do. You were new in New York and had mostly been willing to tag along with what he wanted to do. He hadn’t thought about the fact that he had seen most of the city quickly because he had been around doing detective work while you were stuck in a lab trying to help clean up a mess that wasn’t yours. 

        “Jose, you going to show me the world on your magic carpet?”  

You hadn’t been so giddy to get out of bed in a long time. The next hour passed in a blur, going to your apartment for a quick shower and to get changed before climbing back onto Joe’s motorcycle and speeding off for Coney Island. It was the perfect day, sunny and 75 degrees. The ride gave you some long-missed color to your cheeks and a happy thrumming through your veins.  

You guys spent all day there and Joe let you have the full experience. The arcades, the overpriced greasy fried food and then the over-sugared snacks, the attractions, the rides, and he even tried his hand at a few stall games. He had won a stuffed animal now tucked into your purse, only its bright head peeking out of the top of the bag. It was dark now and all the lights had been turned on. There was only one thing the two of you had yet to do yet. “You sure you don’t want to do the Ferris Wheel?” Joe persisted as you shoved another piece of the elephant ear in your mouth, powdered sugar staining your lips. 

“I’m afraid of heights. I know it sounds like a cute idea, but I’ll probably end up leaving a bruise on your arm.” He laughed at this before pointing at the rollercoaster that was at least twice the size with his hand that wasn’t holding your plate of fried sugar. 

“Let me get this straight, you will ride a rollercoaster that is twice as tall and way faster, but you won’t ride the Ferris Wheel. Baby, that makes no sense.”  

“I don’t have time to be afraid on the rollercoaster.” You say with a shrug. “If you want to go on I will. I was just giving you a fair warning.” He smiled brushing some sugar off your cheek, then kissed your lips sucking the sugar off them. 

“We will save that for another day then.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

When you guys get back to Joe’s apartment you are both happy and blissfully tired. The day had been long but had left you with a new energy. A readiness for what was coming your way in life. It was probably the best date that you had ever been on. It brought up questions that you had been refusing to ask yourself. You knew that Joe wasn’t seeing anyone else, or you were pretty sure at least. His work schedule might not have been as busy as yours now, but it did come into play at random moments. If he had time to see someone else, you would have to be a bit impressed. 

The way he acted with you was so intimate, and personal. You weren’t official but after a day like today, you felt like you were.  

“Hey Joe, I was thinking,” He hummed his acknowledgment from where he sat on the couch. You were about to just ask him what you guys were. Tell him you wanted a label, a defined serious relationship to build off. When his green eyes meet yours, panic fills you with what the conversation could cost you. How good things are right now. How perfect this hooky day had been and the promise of another one to come.  

“What is it, sweetheart?” He prodded when you don’t continue. You lose your nerve and think of a pastime that would be a lot more pleasurable. It was already late at night, and you were about to make it later. You sink to your knees in front of him. 

“I was just thinking that you deserved a reward for this amazing day.” You push his shirt up licking a stripe above the waistband on his jeans. You smile when you hear the hitch in his breathing. You rub your hand over the crotch of his jeans and can already feel him starting to harden.   

“You don’t have to.”  

“I know, but I want to show you how much fun I had.” You start to undo his pants and slide them down. Despite his words, his cock was already half-hard and looking for attention. “Don’t you want me to show you, baby?” He didn’t have a chance to get words out when you took the tip into your mouth rolling your tongue around the head. He cursed shifting, forcing his cock further into your mouth. You moan around it. You tease him at first focusing on the sensitive tip sucking a caressing it with your tongue. When he’s fully hardened, and you can taste his precum you take more of him in your mouth and start bobbing your head.  

You know your jaw will hurt later but you don’t rush through it. You stay teasing until his hand has gathered up your hair in his fist and he is tugging at it, telling you to look at him. His moans start bouncing off the walls and he tries to keep himself from thrusting up to meet your lips. That’s when you take him as far as you can his tip brushing the back of your throat. He hisses and you increase your speed. You know he is close when his thighs start to tremble, and he can no longer resist the urge to thrust upward. He gives you a warning and tries to pull back, but you follow him as he comes. You swallow and continue to lick at his shaft for a minute longer. You pull back with an audible pop. He swipes his hand over the coffee table making his files and papers go flying onto the floor as he lifts you up onto it pulling your legs over his shoulders to return the favor.  

If you had been able to focus on anything, quite an impossible task with Joe’s mouth on your clit, or any time immediately after, you would have noticed that one of the papers on the floor was the answer to the question that you had been too afraid to ask.

Relationship Disclosure Form: Manhattan  

That ending was not what I wanted it to be but it’s close enough. I have a second part for this planned. I also have a couple of multiple-part series I want to write for Joe. So, keep a lookout. I’m going to keep writing self-indulgent fics unless anyone has any requests. If you like Nick Amaro, I have started writing for him too.   

[aeridanus]

Some babbling about the last months, the insanity is finally boiling down.

Since autumn of last year, things at work got increasingly stressful, but we were able to cope. Went to Fuerteventura in March to recharge, and in April, I fucking finally made it to Lead Concept Artist, after struggling against some bad management for the better part of a decade. Shortly after that, things started to escalate with ferocity, and our move came right on top of that.

The move is behind us and everything went well, but the situation at work became unbearable, especially for me. I finally took the decision to end my time with my employer of twelve years and have a new beginning elsewhere. I thought I'd seen it all in those twelve years, but with every week being worse than the week before, I slowly slid into a state of mind where nothing but work existed. We didn't even do overtime, it was "just" the feeling of the team and myself being consumed by the arrogance and ignorance of management people unfit for their roles, and ultimately, being confronted with the realization that I can't do shit about it, no matter what I do. Being a little woman didn't help either, as fucked up as it sounds.

Now it's all behind me since Thursday and I have two weeks of leftover vacation/overtime left before I start at my new employer. I'm looking so much forward to leave all the stupid politics games behind me, and while every place has its own set of issues, at least the insanity of what we experienced over the course of this year will be gone.

We actually had a second vacation on Fuerteventura only two weeks ago, but as we weren't able to re-schedule, our flight left on the morning after I handed my notice in and had to tell my team. It took six out of eight vacation days to come down from the chronic stress of the year, and only now that everything is done and final, the recuperation phase starts.

My brain is in complete idle mode currently. It's not like burnout, it's "just" idling around and happy with that. Feels like it enjoys having less electrical activity for once. Now would be the perfect time for Fuerteventura, but eh. Learned something about vacation scheduling for next time.

The photo above is from this recent vacation. I took the infrared camera and the "red plants" Kolari filter on board and filmed the takeoff. We were taxiing to the runway when this Lufthansa A340 took off right beside us, and with the red grass and the stormy sky, it came out like these fancy flickr-insta retro-hip colorgrade-things. x)

I hope to get some drawing mojo back in the next days :)

[jameszhall]

These 10 Traumas Are Linked to an 80% Higher Risk of Health Issues.

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get nearly enough airtime: Your body remembers what your mind tries to forget.

We like to think that trauma is something you think your way through. That it's all in your head. But trauma isn’t just emotional—it’s physical. And sometimes, the biggest health issues people face didn’t come from genetics, bad habits, or bad luck.

They came from surviving things no one should have had to survive.

According to research, including the famous ACEs study (Adverse Childhood Experiences), certain types of trauma can raise your risk of serious health problems by up to 80%.

Let that sink in.

🚨 10 Types of Trauma That Can Raise Your Health Risks These are some of the most common, most overlooked, and most damaging experiences—especially when they happen in childhood:

Physical abuse – The body never forgets being hurt.

Emotional abuse – Words can wound, and they echo for years.

Sexual abuse – This trauma often lives in silence, but its impact is everywhere.

Neglect – Sometimes the pain comes from what didn’t happen: love, safety, comfort.

Witnessing domestic violence – Even if it wasn’t aimed at you, your body still flinched.

Parents divorcing or separating – Especially when it was loud, messy, or sudden.

Living with someone who abused drugs or alcohol – Unpredictability becomes the norm.

Living with someone with mental illness – You become the caretaker too early.

Having a loved one go to prison – The shame and silence cut deep.

Losing a parent or being abandoned – The ache doesn’t go away with time.

🧠💔 So… What Happens Inside the Body? When trauma hits, your brain says: "We’re not safe." Your nervous system stays in survival mode—ready to run, fight, or freeze at any moment. Over time, this leads to:

🔥 Chronic inflammation

❤️ Heart disease

😣 Digestive issues

🧠 Anxiety, depression, burnout

😴 Sleep disorders

⚡ Autoimmune diseases

🩺 Even higher risk of cancer or stroke

It’s not that your body is “broken.” It’s that it’s been working overtime to protect you—even long after the danger passed.

🌱 The Good News? Trauma Is Not Your Destiny Yes, these experiences are linked to higher health risks. But that does not mean you’re doomed. It means you need healing, not blame. Support, not shame.

Here’s what helps:

💬 Therapy (especially trauma-informed therapy like EMDR or somatic approaches)

🧘 Mind-body healing (breathwork, yoga, bodywork, even dance)

👫 Safe relationships (people who make you feel seen and safe)

📚 Learning your triggers (so you can respond, not just react)

✨ Letting go of the myth that you need to “tough it out”

❤️ Final Thought: You’re Not “Too Sensitive.” You’re a Survivor. If any of this sounds familiar—if your body’s breaking down in ways you don’t fully understand—please know this:

You're not crazy. You're not weak. You're not imagining things.

You are a human being who lived through hard things. And your body has been screaming what your voice didn’t always get to say.

Healing is not linear. But it is possible. And it starts by telling the truth—out loud, with compassion, and without shame.

Let’s stop pretending trauma ends when the event ends. Let’s start listening to our bodies—and believing people when they say, “I’m still healing.”

[health-on-call]

🩺 The Quiet Shift That’s Changing Australian Hospitals in 2025

It’s 2025, and Australian hospitals are going through a transformation—but it’s not just about new tech or medical breakthroughs.

The real game-changer? Flexible nurse rostering.

Yeah, it might not sound flashy, but this behind-the-scenes shift is boosting staff morale, improving patient care, and helping hospitals stay strong in a system that’s constantly under pressure.

So… What Is Flexible Nurse Rostering?

It’s basically the end of those one-size-fits-all, fixed shift schedules that nurses have had to deal with forever. Instead, rosters now flex around:

✔ Nurses' availability and preferences ✔ Real-time patient needs ✔ Fatigue and burnout risks ✔ Sudden surges (think flu season or emergencies)

It’s dynamic. It’s responsive. It’s exactly what hospitals need right now.

Why Is This Such a Big Deal?

Because the nursing workforce is burnt out.

According to a 2024 report by the Australian College of Nursing, nearly 1 in 3 nurses were thinking of leaving the profession. Why? Stress, burnout, zero work-life balance. (And yeah, the old-school rostering system didn’t help.)

Flexible rostering flips the script:

🧠 Happier nurses = lower turnover 🌟 Better schedules = fewer sick days 💖 More energy = better patient care 💸 Smarter staffing = lower costs

Enter: Health On Call 💼

If flexible rostering is the future, Health On Call is helping hospitals get there.

They’re an agency that connects hospitals with a network of ready-to-go nurses (RNs, ENs, AINs), using tech and human know-how to make scheduling less chaotic.

What they bring to the table:

📲 Real-time shift matching (hello, fast fills!) 🌍 Nationwide nurse network—urban and regional 📊 Roster analysis so hospitals can plan ahead (not panic later)

Real Talk: It Works

📍Example: A regional hospital in Victoria It was mid-flu season. Staff were stretched.

Here’s what happened after they teamed up with Health On Call:

✅ Weekend shifts locked in ahead of time ✅ ICU night shifts covered in 6 hours ✅ Overtime dropped 35% in 3 months ✅ Nurse satisfaction jumped 22%

That’s not just luck—it’s what happens when the system finally works for the staff.

The Future? Flexible Everything.

Hospitals can’t afford to be rigid anymore. With rising pressure and workforce gaps, agility is survival. Flexible staffing isn’t a trend—it’s the new standard.

And while apps and automation help, it’s agencies like Health On Call that are keeping the human touch in healthcare—connecting skilled nurses with hospitals that need them most.

TL;DR:

🩺 Old rostering = burnout & chaos 🕒 Flexible rostering = better care, happier staff 💪 Health On Call = the agency making it happen

Because in 2025, flexibility isn’t a perk—it’s a necessity.

[thatmittengirl2009]

This is just a vent and a place to get it out.

Today was awful. A bad day on top of bad crap on top of more bad stuff.

I was supposed to go in early at 6am because I had a doctor appointment after work. However 5:30am rolled around and I couldn’t even move. Then 6 came and nothing, then 7 and I gave up on the idea of making it in early.

I was struggling hard with my workload right away. I kept telling myself it’d be a better day but then it was just so much nonstop with this person needing this and this person needing that and every 10 seconds, a bloop appearing on screen with a Teams message and 13 different chats going.

Then we have a team meeting and I bring up all my concerns. The only good news was they’re bringing in a temp agency to try to help with keying and help relieve us of that chunk. When that will happen tho? Not soon enough. So I say that the big report they’re making us do is too much. Others finally speak up and back me up which thankfully didn’t make me feel alone or like I was the only one complaining. Then my manager is like wellll we have to do it and I just lost it. And it was embarrassing that I fell apart in front of everyone but my manager said she’d talk to me after. So she ends up calling me after everyone else is like “omg are you ok?” I keep so calm under pressure and I just can’t anymore. So my manager talks to me asking what’s going on. I say the work is unrealistic. I could be working a 16 hour shift and not put a dent in anything. On top of it, I have people emailing me nonstop to fix their stuff or ask why they’re paying so much on tariffs. If I ghost them, they call. And then when I ignore, they go higher above me and now I’m yelled at by upper management.

I explain that report took me 3 hours alone to get through. I explain the intricate details needed to do to remove the new aluminum rules plus add in the exclusions for USMCA and it’s time consuming. I’m behind on my send outs because all I do all day is correct stuff and then people are complaining I’m late sending stuff to them. I can’t win. We begged for new hires for the last two years and now that this shit is hitting the fan it’s like we were setup for failure. She said she’d review the process with her team to try to see what they could do to alleviate the pressure.

The day goes on and then 3pm HR calls me. Last week I shared a link on my PRIVATE FB about how OT isn’t the answer and burnout leads to lower quality of work and doesn’t improve productivity. All I said with it is 20 hours of mandatory OT is insanity. That’s it.

I get a call saying “so you posted on FB and you did nothing wrong but we’re concerned about you & want to make sure you’re getting help.” I said umm ok but why do I feel like I’m still in trouble? He reminds me of the free resources they have so “I don’t feel like I have to vent on social media anymore.” I said well since someone obviously shared my post, I’ll just remove everyone from work and still vent. He was like what no…. I said it’s ironic that work is offering me free counseling when they’re the issue causing all this. I said it’s not an isolated issue but an issue that’s been leading up to this point for years. He was concerned I wasn’t happy with more vacation time and I said we can’t even use it. They throw a fit and deny you due to workload if you even try. Then scramble end of the year to make sure everyone gets their time in that we have zero coverage. I said money doesn’t motivate me. He asked what does and I said not being forced to work more than I want to. Volunteering is one thing but if I decide I need a mental health break and don’t feel like working over, I should be allowed that. He was like welllllll overtime is for everyone sooooo get some counseling and learn a work life balance. Ok but you’re taking over my life and ruining that balance.

We got no where.

I apologized to my direct boss that I’ll need to make my OT tonight since I had an eye doctor appointment and they dilate my eyes so I can’t see right away. She told me don’t worry about it and enjoy a mental health break.

So I go to my doctors and I already warned them I was in a flare and my eyes hurt extremely bad because I had been crying most of the day. They do some tests and my doctor is like “oh holy fuck…” like that don’t make me feel okay. So my retinas are still beautiful and I can stay on my lupus meds but my eyes are sooooooo dry from my Sjögren’s that I have an ulcer starting on the outside of my eyeball. It’s why I’m in pain and my vision is a little off. So I have to do steroid drops for 10 days and if it’s not better I need to come back right away. I have to wear my blue light glasses at work all the time for now. Like this is what stress does. It’s causing me to go blind. And then what work gonna do? The only upside is I get a seeing eye doggo. So he walks me out like he always does and I tried to pull a push door and he let me know I’m not that blind yet. But it’s scary in all seriousness. This job is killing me and I just don’t know what to do. I have no backup plan or enough funds to get past a month. I applied at my groomer to be a bather because I’d seriously rather wash dog buttholes than work one more day at this place and doing this Trump stuff that is sooooooo moronic and incompetent that I’m getting the brunt of from companies. And now the 200% tariff? I’m a target for even having to follow orders and apply it.

So maybe I’ll go blind enough, I just go on disability for a while and just vibe for a year. That’s where I’m at.

[techit-rp]

The Dark Side of Animation: Secrets Studios Don’t Want You to Know!

Animation is a magical world where imagination comes to life, but behind the colorful frames and beloved characters lies a darker reality. While audiences admire the flawless storytelling of animated films and series, many animators endure grueling work conditions, hidden industry secrets, and corporate exploitation. If you’re an aspiring animator, it’s important to know the truth behind the scenes. Let’s explore the shocking secrets of the animation industry that studios don’t want you to know.

1. The Harsh Reality of Crunch Culture

One of the most notorious issues in the animation industry is crunch culture—a term used to describe extreme overtime and unrealistic deadlines that animators often face. Many animation studios push their artists to work 12-16 hour days, sometimes without additional pay. This practice is particularly rampant in major animation studios, especially when deadlines for big projects loom.

The 2019 case of Sausage Party shocked the world when animators revealed they had been forced to work overtime without fair compensation.

Pixar, Disney, and DreamWorks have all been accused of overworking their animators, leading to burnout, mental health struggles, and even resignations.

Video game animation is no exception, with companies like Rockstar Games and Naughty Dog making headlines for excessive crunch during game development.

If you dream of becoming an animator, consider enrolling in the best animation institute in Bengaluru, where you can learn to balance creativity with industry realities.

2. Abandoned & Secretly Altered Projects

Not every animated film or series makes it to the big screen. Many projects are secretly scrapped, altered, or rewritten to fit corporate agendas. Studios often pour years of work into projects only to cancel them due to budget constraints, executive interference, or controversial themes.

Disney’s “Gigantic” was a highly anticipated animated movie inspired by “Jack and the Beanstalk.” It was in development for years but was suddenly canceled in 2017.

“Foodfight!” was a CGI animated film that suffered from production issues, leading to one of the worst-animated movies ever made.

Nickelodeon’s “Glitch Techs” had a loyal fanbase, but the network quietly ended it due to budget cuts despite high ratings.

If you’re passionate about animation, enrolling in the best animation institute in Bengaluru can help you develop the skills to bring your vision to life—without facing corporate control.

3. Low Pay and Job Insecurity

Despite the global success of animation, many animators struggle with low wages and job insecurity. While major studios make billions, animators often receive meager salaries compared to other creative industries.

Many entry-level animators make as little as $40,000 per year—significantly less than professionals in other creative fields like graphic design or film direction.

Studios often outsource work to countries where labor is cheaper, reducing job opportunities for local artists.

Freelance animators face non-payment issues, with some clients refusing to pay after receiving the final project.

If you want to build a stable career in animation, learning from the best animation institute in Bengaluru can give you a competitive edge in the industry.

4. The Toxic Work Environment

The animation industry, like Hollywood, has faced accusations of toxic work environments, harassment, and discrimination. Many animators, especially women and minorities, have reported mistreatment in studios.

John Lasseter, the former chief creative officer of Pixar and Disney Animation, stepped down after allegations of inappropriate behavior towards female employees.

Female animators have spoken out about gender discrimination, with women making up only 20% of the animation workforce.

Racial discrimination also exists, with many studios favoring white male animators over equally talented artists of color.

By joining the best animation institute in Bengaluru, you can be part of the change by promoting diversity and inclusion in animation.

5. How to Succeed in Animation Despite These Challenges

While the industry has its dark side, there are ways to protect yourself and thrive as an animator. Here’s what you can do:

Choose the right education: Enroll in a reputable animation course to build your skills and industry knowledge.

Learn business and legal aspects: Understand contracts, copyrights, and how to protect your work from exploitation.

Network with professionals: Connect with ethical industry leaders who value fair treatment.

Build a strong portfolio: Focus on developing a diverse and high-quality animation portfolio to stand out.

At the best animation institute in Bengaluru, you can learn from industry experts and gain practical experience that prepares you for success.

Conclusion

The animation industry is full of opportunities, but it’s essential to be aware of the hidden struggles and corporate secrets that affect animators worldwide. While studios may try to keep these issues under wraps, aspiring animators must enter the field with knowledge and resilience. If you’re passionate about bringing stories to life, learning from the best animation institute in Bengaluru can help you navigate these challenges and build a rewarding career.

[sleephyuns]

Thank you Caz for the MiTzu fics recommendation they were so good, Love like the movies made me tear up a little 🥲

I'm feeling so burnout right now with college and it’s time for finals, any tips on how to get over it?

Loved the new art on Twitter, it was amazing!

-📐

No problem! And ooooh yeah I definitely get that feeling. My #1 tip would be not to overwork yourself. And i know that’s hard, but many a time ive been to sleep or lost so much energy leasing up to it that i just end up losing my mind when it comes down to it 😭 sleep is important even if its like and hour nap it’s needed. Also try to set times for when you want to do/study certain things. If it’s a project, carve out some time for that project. If it’s studying write down what you want to study and how long you want to study for. That way you’re not going overtime with studying and burning out even more.

And definitely save time for breaks. If youre reading a lot take a break from that, even if youre reading for fun. It can still burn you out without realizing.

Hope this helped in any sort of way im not the best with advice but! Im rooting for you!!

[hajimehaga]

Uh hello I was a little nervous about asking but how did you motivate urself throughout the whole of the Splintered and Severed project? How did u keep from loosing ur motivation half way through??

Well, in general my drive and desire to create such a story and have my ideas shown in such a way was already a motivation on its own. I had always wanted to create some sort of mini comic to tell an ocs backstory before, and I had finally gotten the chance to do so.

It was hard a bit to keep up the motivation as when I was still working on S&S, I had a different full time job that worked me far too much overtime. So, anytime I would feel that I wasn’t in the mood to continue the story or work on any new pages, I simply wouldn’t. I would take as long or short of a break from updating the comic until I was in the mood to draw again.

To me, I believe that I would rather draw for the comic when I want to and be able to take the time to make it how I want it, rather than rush it out each chapter simply because I feel like I should and end up with chapters that i’m not proud of or have more mistakes than intended since i’d be rushing it.

Since it was just a passion project for me, that’s how I saved myself from total burnout in the long run is not pressuring or time crunching myself.

[lostinfantasyworlds]

ONE MORE DAY

One more full day of working myself into the ground and then I will finally have a full week off of work so I can finally get chapter 15 of Under the Northern Lights done thank fuck!!!

Extra rambling about life/UTNL below the cut 😆

My boss photographed wayyy too many really large projects in a row back in September/October, so my coworker and I who do the post production are still trying to catch up with processing for shoots that happened at the end of October🤦🏻‍♀️. But all of our clients started getting antsy for their photos since it’s the end of the year, meaning we have had absurd pressure/deadlines/expectations. And since I’m salaried (which I’m very thankful for don’t get me wrong) my boss doesn’t give a fuck how much overtime we have to work to get all of it done 🙄.

So moral of the story is that I pretty much have been working what feels like nonstop for at least the last month or so. And whenever I actually do have time to myself, I’m usually so mentally drained from my tedious, mind-numbing job that I don’t have it in me to give UTNL the attention it deserves....which has made me so so sad the more time passes that I haven’t been able to get it finished 😔.

I know a lot of people are really excited for this chapter, and I’ve been dying to share it, but since it’s basically the conclusion of the whole story (although I do consider the epilogue just as much a part of the overall story as the other chapters!) I want to make sure it’s as good as it can be before I share it. My rough draft (written back in June/July) was super rushed and shitty and only around 4k words. Currently, my working draft is a little over 13k...so I’ve definitely been working on it quite a bit over the last few weeks, even with the aforementioned burnout.

Anyways, I just want to thank everyone for their patience and assure you that I’m still just as invested in this story as I’ve always been! Just got hit with the absolute busiest time of the year for work and it totally knocked me out of creative commission for a while.

But I will be catching up on writing and art all next week YAY!!!!

Also, another life update...my husband has Covid 😔. We are both vaccinated, but he’s still not having a great time sadly. I’m doing my best to stay in a totally separate area of the house and sanitizing everything etc so I really really hope to remain healthy (I somehow tested negative even though we had plenty of close contact in the days leading up to when he started having symptoms). Hopefully he will feel better soon ❤️

[poupeesdecirque]

Me, my Blog, OCs, Dolls and Expectations - a 2021 reflection

I am not sure where this post will lead but if I don’t want to read ramblings from an artist feel free to ignore this post.

I will put this under a cut.

With 2021 nearing its end I feel like this is a point where I can reflect this year a bit. Mainly the months since May, there have been a lot of things.

People who are in the BJD Discord might know it already but I had a bitter artblock, almost like a creative burnout back in summer. I think it started with my DV Mermaids being stuck in customs for over two months and several other things adding up until I ended up totally exhausted, hating or even feeling nothing at all for any of my creations. I felt drained and pressured by expectations, partly mine, partly from outside. Until things hit rock bottom and I had a mental breakdown over a photoshooting in August, which in the end ruined my summer break for me as it took me almost the whole time to get somewhat to function again (great when you think it was my last time off until now, in December - fyi I am working fulltime, partly the job of three people at once, worked overtimes countless times and am into a further education course that robs me off my free time too).

I stopped liking dolls for a while. I wasn’t able to do anything related to my own characters (no drawing, no mental planning, not even talking about them). Dolls that arrived in that timeframe suffered the sad fate that I will most likely will take some more months until I decide to honor them or not. I wasn’t even able to address my dolls with their character names.

The only thing that weirdly worked were fanbased dolls (aka Kaneki, Sabrina) and the pumpkins. The fandolls didn’t brought that “you need to match my expectations 100%” with them and the pumpkins helped me with their lightness and the fact that autumn was approaching.

It took me long to somewhat find joy in dolls again, finding joy in art again, to actually adress to dolls with their names and finally mental planning was a thing again in October.

I am still not fully back. I still can’t stand anything that makes me feel like pressure regarding the dolls. And it will result in me regretting doing things with certain dolls / focus more on the ones I can enjoy to the fullest (right now it’s Allen, ilovehimsomuch).

My best decision on the way was that I decided to turn that one doll into Mana, because that project brought me all the things back I enjoyed about dolls without any attached strings, as it was truly just for the fun and love for the character. Same for Allen. Both feel to true and honest to me, nobody expects a thing about them, as they are just fanwork.

And this should count for my other dolls too. Yes, some have very explored characters, but some will maybe have 2 sentences attached to them and that’s alright too. Not all my dolls have big stories attached to them, some have small texts, some are just here because I thought it would be fun to work on them. It’s nice to see some of my own creations are loved dearly but... don’t expect me to show them off or share anything about them. The doll you love might be difficult for me to work with, maybe just the doll itself and the character is fine or the doll is fine and there is just a “name” to the doll and nothing to tell. Please refer to my website if there is anything you want to know about the dolls, I post tidbits here and there on the blog but I won’t share full things. Even not if I am asked for it. I will share when I feel like sharing.

There have been issues of people trying to my copy dolls and their characters, there have been a case of my written full story being stolen and posted without my consent, there have been people who took my photos to gossip about them; I am quite sensitive to that topic. I just can say, some dolls might be just here to be pretty but I am very attached to all of them, all of their designs even if I only tweaked little things or made them mine with different face paints, clothes, wigs, etc. mean a lot to me, they aren’t just “any” dolls, they are personal projects.

I might be diving more and more into fandolls in 2022 because this is my current way to enjoy the hobby as a true hobby, as a fun thing, where I can share my love for characters and don’t feel heavy for it.

Also I slowed down my working progress which greatly helped me to find my joy again, I freed myself from some of the selfmade pressure that haunted me for a while - like how fast a doll arrives and how fast I can customize it. I will try to avoid jumping at releases that would maybe lead me back to that mindset and just concentrate on the plans I have, which all are promising a lot of fun.

Overall there were dark times for me this year BUT I feel like I rediscovered some truly important points and the glow in my photos came back, they stopped looking soulless (what they did in mid 2021) and I will just take my time. Nothing needs to be done yesterday, it’s a hobby, I have time.

Oh and I love my peeps from the BJD Discord, seriously there are so amazing people on this Discord. Sometimes I really feel like a child they babysit but without them I might have broken ties with the hobby already.

There have been a lot of negative things but I feel ... positive about this year?! Weirdly. Like maybe I needed that reset to find my true love for that hobby again. I love to customize dolls and I am very looking forward to my Withdoll John Twins to arrive, because they will be fun, I know it.

[niksixx]

Need You

Requested: Anonymously 

Pairing: Axl Rose x Reader 

Description: “The reader is frustrated and kinda stressed out because of her busy schedule, and feeling lonely due to the lack of consolation but she has difficulties in being true to her own feelings so she acts like she’s completely fine despite the situation. But Axl is sure that she needs some loving, which makes her finally admit her thirst is real and he helps her get rid of it? smutty one please”

Warning: Good ol’ smut with some edging!!!

A/N: If you enjoyed this, leave a comment! 

*GIF is not mine. Credit to the owner!*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N’s TO-DO:

Work

Exercise

Cook dinner

Take car for an oil change.

Delivery groceries to parents.

Walk the dog.

Pick up dry cleaning.

Manage a social life.

Manage a sex life.

Try not to breakdown.

The game of life? Exhausting. There’s so much shit to be done and not enough time in the days of the week to do it all. Your life had become a constant cycle of planning, feeling frustrated when you can’t finish everything, and then the frustration turns to anger, and eventually, you give up.

You’d like to think you don’t burnout easily, but after sobbing your way through your third breakdown in two days, you were contemplating your mental health.

No one in your life would know, though. Hiding your feelings was a skill you mastered.  There was no time to be vulnerable. Put on a front and smile. That’s what you were always told.

Sometimes though, you wanted someone to see through the lies. The “I’m okay’s” and “I swear I’m fine’s” were just part of the wall you built up to keep people out. Didn’t anyone care enough to break it down?

Even your boyfriend, your sweet, sensitive, loyal boyfriend Axl never seemed to catch on to your true feelings. After two years, could he still not read you?

Even if he could, it was easier to keep everything inside. Feelings could get messy and end up making things worse. Axl was busy planning a tour with the rest of his band, a tedious and stressful project. He probably didn’t have time to deal with your feelings anyway. So, you’d stash them away and just smile, smile, smile.

After a long day of tour planning and various spats with his band mates, Axl couldn’t wait to be in the comfort of his home. His brain was fried, his eyes were tired, and he was ready to take the world’s biggest nap.

Pushing open the front door, Axl grinned as he spotted you at the dining room table. As he approached you, ready to tackle you in a hug, he frowned. Your elbows were on the table, head in your hands, and your eyes were closed. Stepping closer, Axl could almost see the gears in your head working overtime. “You okay, angel?”

“Fine.”

There was something off about your tone. It wasn’t sharp, but it wasn’t convincing Axl that you were truly fine. You hadn’t even looked at him since he’d stepped foot through the door.

“You don’t look fine,” Axl remarked, kicking himself for his choice in words. His hand went to your neck, gently massaging the sides how you liked. Your muscles relaxed briefly before your body tensed up once more. “What’s going on with you?”

And then out of nowhere, you broke down. It started off as a loud cry as sobs shook your body, and then slowly, you began to cry quietly, no sound escaping your mouth.

“Holy fuck, angel, what’s wrong?”

“I can’t take it anymore, Axl!” You spilled everything. “I have so much shit to do and not enough time to get it all done. I’m always working and my job stresses me out, and then when I come home I have to find time to exercise and cook us dinner and somehow manage a social life on top of everything else. I feel like I have no support from you or any of my family or friends and I’m so tired I can’t think straight most days and to make things worse I’ve been really fucking horny but we’re always so busy that--.”

The rest of your words were cut off as Axl drew you in for a much needed hug. Your tears soaked into his shirt as his hands rubbed up and down your back, his way of comforting you. Letting out a breath, you tried to clear your mind, which was exceptionally difficult as it was running a mile a minute. Finally, you pulled away from Axl, your tear-filled eyes boring into his, which were downcast.

“Why didn’t you say anything? I could have helped you. I didn’t realize how overwhelmed you’ve been, baby.”

“I don’t like being vulnerable,” you answered, wiping your cheeks with the sleeve of your shirt. “And I hate that you’re seeing me this way. I know you’ve been busy too with planning a tour and I think it’s wonderful, Axl, I do, but I’ve been feeling upset and alone and stressed the hell out and I just…I don’t know how to handle all the emotions I’m feeling.”

Axl’s heart broke. How could he have been so blind? Fuck the tour. You were supposed to be his number one priority. He could see now that you were obviously in need of some extra love and care, and he vowed that he wouldn’t leave your side for the rest of the evening. “Look at me,” he said, his hands cupping your cheeks. “You’re allowed to be vulnerable, especially around me. We’re partners, remembers? I hate that you’ve been so frustrated and I hate myself even more for not seeing it. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’ve got to be better, I know that now.”

The kiss to your forehead was soft, sweet. It felt good to be held and kissed. While it didn’t alleviate most of your stress, it certainly helped.

“Now,” Axl said, his lips forming a smirk. “What did you say about being horny?”

Your cheeks reddened. “Oh…um…it’s not really a big deal, I just--.”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Axl tsked, dragging his forefinger down your cheek, below your bottom lip. “Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to let me take care of you, okay? If there’s one thing I know about sex,” His lips brushed against your ear. “Is that it’s an incredible stress reliever.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your clothes were strewn all over the dining room as Axl didn’t hesitate in ripping them off your body. He was eager to please you, it was evident in the way his eyes hungrily roamed your body.

He lifted you onto the table with ease, lips sealed against your exposed neck. Your eyes fell shut as his lips devoured your flesh. Axl’s fingers danced across your belly, his cool fingertips providing the perfect contrast against your warm body. His fingers inched lower, lower, until they brushed against your clit, eliciting a whimper from your lips.

“How’s that feel, baby girl?”

His fingers rubbed your clit painstakingly slow in circular, clockwise motions. Axl wanted to take his time with you. He wanted you to feel loved and adored and fulfilled.

His fingers slipped between your folds, the slickness between them aiding as a lubricant, making it easier for his fingers to slid right into your opening. Axl added one finger at first, pumping slowly until you were begging for more. He inserted another finger, and finally a third.

As Axl watched his fingers slide in and out, in and out, you bucked your hips forward, grinding down on his fingers. “That’s my girl,” he praised, leaning over to kiss your lips. “Ride my fingers, baby.”

He withdrew only one finger, continuously pumping two inside of you as his thumb met your clit. Your head was thrown back in pleasure as his delicate fingers explored your pussy. The breath in your throat picked up, becoming fast and labored, and you could feel your orgasm building up. And just when you were ready to cum…

Axl stopped.

“What the fuck?”

“Patience baby girl,” he whispered, dusting a kiss along your temple. His lips trailed the length of your body, licking and sucking at your breasts, your hips, until his head disappeared between your thighs.

“Shit, shit, shit,” you moaned at the feeling of Axl’s warm tongue licking your pussy in different directions, up and down, side to side, in and out. Your hands find his hair and tug, pushing his face deeper to your cunt.

“Axl, please, please, let me cum.” You were full on panting now, lip sucked between your teeth as your thighs squeezed Axl’s head, desperate for a release.

From between your legs Axl glanced up, bulge growing as he watched your face contort in pleasure. When your eyes caught his, he gave you a sly wink before sucking your clit between his lips.

“Axl, please!”

And again, he stopped.

You looked at him, bewildered. “What are you doing? Are you going to let me cum or not?”

Chuckling, Axl gently pinched your clit between his fingers, grinning as you moaned. “Oh baby, you’re going to have the best orgasm of your life. But first,” His lips hovered over yours, eyes dark and sultry. “I want you to taste yourself.”

His lips covered yours, the taste of your pussy on his tongue not pleasant, but tolerable. You’d never tasted yourself before, so there was a first time for everything.

Pulling back, Axl unzipped his jeans, pushing them halfway down his legs. You could see his hard cock hidden beneath the fabric of his boxers and it made your mouth water. Reaching forward, you pulled Axl toward you, palming his length. He groaned deeply, eyes closing briefly before he pulled his boxers down, cock springing to life.

“How do you want it, baby?” Axl asked, twisting his cock in his hand. “Tell me.”

There was only one answer.

“Hard.”

With a smirk, Axl wrapped his hands around the back of your thighs, pulling your body to the edge of the table. The tip of his cock brushed against your clit, and before you could beg Axl to fuck you, he pushed his cock forward, burying himself in your pussy.

Moans and groans filled the room along with creaks from the table shaking. Fisting your hair in one hand, Axl grabbed your hip with the other, pounding into you as your legs went slack. Your slick pussy helped him screw you effortlessly. He’d pull out slowly, and then slam back into you, absorbing your moans into his mouth as he kissed your lips roughly.

“I love this pussy,” Axl groaned, reaching down to rub your clit, never slowing his rhythm. “Feels so good.”

“Harder,” you panted, grasping the back of Axl’s neck. “Fucking harder.”

He obliged, and soon the air started to smell like sex. Your bodies were sweating, breath hot, and neither one of you could hold on much longer.

“Axl, please,” you whined, feeling your legs begin to shake. “God, fuck.”

“Cum for me, angel,” he commanded, thumbing your clit quickly. “Cum all over my cock.”

You exploded at the same time Axl’s cock twitched inside you, spilling his load. Axl covered your mouth as you screamed, not wanting to wake the neighbors. A mixture of fluids dripped down your thighs as you tried to catch your breath.

Leaning forward, Axl captured your lips in a sweet kiss. “I love you. I hope you know that, angel. And I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you lately. I have no excuse, but I promise from here on out, I’m going to be a better boyfriend. I swear to you.”

And you knew he’d keep his promise. You smiled into the kiss, reminiscing about the best orgasm you’ve had in months, all the while forgetting what you were stressed about in the first place.