#with my ability to keep things in focus visually

[amelias-calamity-quintet]

On Writing (Zelda) Dungeons

Alright, one of the regular compliments I get on Goddess of Secrecy and now on Mark of a Hero is on how my dungeons feel like they could be in the games. It's still one of my strengths, so I figured I'd actually try to write thoughts down. I have never documented this process so please understand a whole lot of it is just ✨ vibes✨ and then piecing that together into something coherent.

Not to give homework, but I think the Deku Fortress (the first dungeon of GoS) still holds up roughly to my current standards and it's a quick read to get to relative to the other examples in my repertoire. I also have a particular naming convention for my works, so you can very easily jump to Dungeon Chapters & Boss Chapters via the index.

Concepting

I talked a lot about in a post I made on MoaH's dungeon design what I think the point of LoZ dungeons should serve as but I'll sum it up here. A dungeon has three goals narratively:

Advancing a local/character plot

Advancing a regional threat arc

Advancing the grand quest arc

If you want a really good example of this in games, Dragon Roost Caverns from WW is a prime example. I talk about it in the linked post above as well.

Starting your own, I recommend picking two of three things before you get into it:

An aesthetic

A boss and/or mini boss

The dungeon's relic

These things should inform each other and are the barest place to start before design. The aesthetic will generally decide the vibe of exploration, while the bosses determine the means of combat and likely your minions throughout the rest of the dungeon. The relic will engage with both as a puzzle solution. And typically if you can figure out two, the third will follow after.

Debatably, dungeons through an original legend should be concepts to connect together as a series of trials to build your hero up towards their final fight. It also depends on if you want to imply whether the dungeon order is linear or not how that will turn out. Having solutions only focused on general mechanics/exploration can lean more open world, while puzzle solutions that use focus on items or require items from previous dungeons will lean towards a linear narrative. Both are valid, but it's good to decide on one or the other before making a dungeon list and order.

Designing

I cannot emphasize enough in this step, but make maps. They don't have to be detailed maps, but figure out your spatial stuff. I wrote all of GoS without any maps and boy, let me tell you. The jump to having them for MoaH was night and day.

Generally, the recommendation here is to look at TTRPG dungeon design or escape rooms. If you got stuck doing this puzzle with other people/reliant on other people's pacing, what would be enjoyable to follow? Because unlike in the games where you are the player, in books, you're limited to the pace of the POV character.

There is also the limitation in writing of the reader's imagination. Complex puzzles are great and all in games, describing it in a way people can imagine is harder. Without the visual and interactive elements of games, easier puzzles are better because most people can picture the basics. As anyone who has played a TTRPG before can tell you, a puzzle for a 3rd grader will absolutely stump an adult if the setting or size of the puzzle makes them miss the important elements of it. You do not need to design complex traps and puzzles (in fact it will often go poorly).

This is also where that aesthetic decision can help. A relatively simple dungeon can absolutely be carried by an interesting location. Are there lore drops to be found in the dungeon? Is it just a cool space to explore? Is the means of backtracking post-relic something the reader can piece through as the character(s) explore it the first time? There should be hints on how these aspects will link together before the end.

I will get into this with relics as well, but it's a good idea to keep an inventory of your character(s)'s abilities before going in. Is your hero traveling alone? How many relics do they have? What resources did they bring into the dungeon? This can help inform solutions too by eliminating what your hero doesn't have access to.

Writing

Pick a pace of chapters. There's a reason that dungeons are consistent in their chapter length for GoS & MoaH. They're aimed to set the tone for how long the dungeon should feel. I'm going to use both as examples for outlining everything I haven't already said in previous sections.

GoS has two types of dungeons: Goddess Temples and Sage Dungeons. The Goddess Temples were designed to be shorter "tutorial" dungeons, the formula being 2 Dungeon Chapters + Mini Boss + 2 DC + Boss. Compared to the Sage Dungeons, which were 3 DC + MB + 3 DC + B. The Sage Dungeons also typically got a Mini Dungeon and Mini Boss to reach the dungeon itself.

The goal of this was to suggest size and difficulty. GoS was meant to parallel OoT in a lot of ways, the Convergence timeline event to the "Divergence" event that was the timeline split. So the Goddess-Sage split is meant to mirror the Child-Adult dungeon split. Once GoS!Link pulls the Master Sword, things got harder, the challenge leveled up, dungeons got longer and more complicated.

Conversely, MoaH's dungeon design was based around BOTW/TOTK and my general response to it. MoaH's dungeons are designed around the idea of having a series of shrines that build to a larger dungeon puzzle in a region. The split here will be a single dungeon chapter and Mini Boss at a time, but three or four trials before leading to the culmination of four dungeon chapters and a boss in the main temple combining the relics and puzzles from the trials.

In both cases, good divides for dungeon chapters are typically switching between floors, puzzles being cleared, or to break for backtracks to other wings.

Bosses & Mini Boss

The top of this, I want to say that the power scaling will not always be right. Nintendo doesn't even always get this right. Sometimes the Mini Boss is harder than the Boss. Obviously aim otherwise, but trust it's fine if it happens.

There are a goals to aim for with trying to keep that balance:

The difficulty of the puzzle

The tools necessary to solve it

How easy it feels like the hero lands a hit

Generally, a mini boss fight will rely on the tools already at the character(s)'s disposal while a boss fight should rely on the dungeon's relic. Both should incorporate parts of puzzles already in the dungeon itself, either in getting to the dungeon or in progressing through it so far.

It can help to look at boss fights as puzzles on a timer. The timer is how fast you hit it before it hits you harder. But that also should help pace the three stages of the fight. The first phase should be the longest, it's puzzle-solving first to see how to hit the boss. Stage two will likely be shorter, as that knowledge is reapplied. It's the same solution but with some added retaliation. Stage three should make the solution slightly harder to reach by adding that final hit glowing red desperation energy.

You want to make sure that hitting a boss monster is challenging but doable. This could be done by letting the hero get hit, focusing on coordination tactics, or having a failed attempt and having to retry. While never gets hit heroes are impressive in games, they can't build tension very well in stories. If there's no risk after all, then the reward won't feel as earned. At the same time, if there's too much risk, then it may feel like your hero is not competent enough to handle the fight. The character(s) should figure out the mini boss's weakness faster than the boss, or the steps to hit the mini boss should be easier to achieve than the boss.

If you want to come up with a new enemy and not reuse an existing one, I'd recommend picking two plants or animals to smash together. Generally, it only takes two or three off character traits for a chimera to start feeling like a monster. Too many elements though and the design may not read well to your reader (unless the point of it is to be unknowable or absurd). Your bosses should fit the aesthetic of your dungeon too, so if you're running short of ideas, trying looking what might live in the kind of environment that your dungeon is and you'll probably start getting ideas. But also, sometimes the answer is just rule of cool.

Relics

Relics are the best part of a Zelda game for me. They add a lot of fun to problem solving and reexploring old areas. They culminate to decide on the general skillset of your protagonist and dungeons serve in part as tutorials to learn how to use the relics in all its possible uses.

A relic should be the primary puzzle solution for a dungeon after its acquired. This is in game to experiment with its uses before the boss and experiment with its mechanics in lower stake situations. Most dungeons will have some no stakes mandatory puzzle in the mini boss chamber requiring use of the item before the character(s) can progress. And then it scales up from there to get creative and use the item with other tools at the hero's disposal.

While there are staples for sure (hookshot/bow/bombs/etc), most Zelda games will typically have at least one totally unique relic to that game. This is a great way to build your story's identity too! Your character's tools should cover a wide array of options, so it's important too to look at your relic list as a whole to make sure they don't overlap with other relics. It's also important to consider a relic having not only combat use, but also puzzle utility too! These are after all going to be used to get through the rest of your dungeon.

Companions

One of the harder things to balance is party comp. If your hero travels with other people, this can change the necessary scale of the dungeon as a whole. Puzzles and fights will need to be solvable with multiple people working together. Sometimes this can be expediting the issue, many hands make light work after all. Other times it's about strategically placing everyone on the map.

One thing you should decide early in is whether dungeons are intended to be solved with more than one person. If the hero is supposed to be handling their quest on their own and just happens to have a companion, then puzzles need to be solvable on their own (this may be better to implement the expediting method). Or you can make the puzzles quick, allowing for more dialogue while they solve puzzles faster.

If the hero is supposed to be traveling together, then puzzles should incorporate each of party member's skill sets. Be sure to add those to the inventory you take at the beginning of design! Rotating around party members solving the puzzles can help them feel like a team, but you can also incorporate this cooperation slowly if you're trying to build up a new relationship.

Based on Zelda tropes, it's very likely that the companion in question to a dungeon will be someone like a Sage. If this is the case, I would advise against making the character's abilities exactly the same as the relic. If the two are identical then it runs the risk of underselling them both. They can be similar, but they shouldn't be the same to make sure both have room to shine. Also so getting the relic at the mini boss isn't just your hero one-upping a companion. That's a quick way to making them seem less useful to a team! It's best to look at them as compliments. For example, if a dungeon gives the hero the hookshot to bring enemies in close, then having your companion be a fighter who deals with the monsters as they're getting dragged in to range would be a good way to highlight teamwork.

On the Grander Scale

As I said earlier, dungeons combined serve as the training montage that gets your characters ready for the final fight. But, as a narrative, they should share some central theme together to weave them together as a story. Maybe that's the overall aesthetic sharing some element, like the Divine Beasts and the Blights. Maybe it's a similarity in the bosses and how they appeared, like the echoes in EOW.

This is where making a loose outline can help. If you have a rough idea of the dungeon themes or relics you want to include, you can start to build a wider narrative theme you want to meet. Do you want your hero to feel more like a wizard? More magic focused relics may help. Do you want them to feel more like a tactician? Having more allies to coordinate could be the way to go.

And I do mean loose! For the entirety of GoS, I only had a list of dungeon names and some rough ideas for items I wanted to give Link. In the original outline, the Soul Temple was going to be kinda funky and disco themed. It ended up in narrative needing to be a much more serious late game beat. The same boss and relic was in the dungeon, but the aesthetic shifted to fit the theme I needed for that story arc. Your grander narrative can always come back to inform what kind of challenge your characters need to face in that moment. And that may change as you figure out the story.

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I think that's generally it though. If I think of anything else, I'll add it in a reblog or edit it in, but generally applying all these elements should get you on your way to making some fun dungeons. Excited to see what you come up with.

[purrlstar]

something i've never seen anyone talk about before is how much sustained effort you have to put in to keep your eyes/vision focused when drawing... especially on a screen tablet? is this just a me issue do I need to get my eyes checked?

[hirazuki]

I don't know if it's because I can taste summer in the air or because I went to the island (where I spent so much time reading it) after all these years or because my brain likes to present me with fixations when we literally have so many other things to do, but I was just overcome with the strongest urge to reread Lymond.

Which I will not be doing, thank you.

... I'm going to go hang up some laundry instead.

[cloverapple]

How To Finally Shift If You’ve Been Trying For 2+ Years

⚠️ Little warning before we begin: don’t get scared off! I might sound a little negative at first, but that’s not the point of this post. My goal is for you to reach the end of this and think “Oh, I’m definitely going to shift to my DR now!”

Having said that:

If you’ve been on your shifting journey for two or more years, doing methods, reprogramming your mind, consuming advice, maintaining a mental diet, manifesting, forcing assumptions, trying to create assumptions, etc, etc⏤and you still haven’t shifted your awareness to your DR, maybe it’s time to stop trying to make yourself shift.

Stop trying to shift.

Stop trying to trigger a shift.

Maybe the thing you need at this point in your journey is to stop trying to make yourself shift.

And I’ll explain why by asking you a question:

In these two, three, four, however many years of effort, don’t you think you would have shifted by now?

Think about it. You’ve oversaturated your mind with the intention to shift. You do all your methods correctly. You try to convince yourself that you're already in your DR. You feel symptoms. Sometimes you even "mini shift." And yet… you're still here. Doing the same things. Searching for advice that leads you right back to doing the same thing:

Trying to shift. Trying to trigger a shift. Trying to shift your awareness.

Trying.

Trying confidently.

Trying hopelessly.

Trying angrily.

…Trying.

If you were going to shift by inducing a shift, triggering a shift, or successfully shifting with a method, it would have happened by now.

“But Clover, I still have a lot of soul-searching and work to do! I just need to put in more effort!”

Awesome! Then click away, because this advice isn’t for you. I’m not talking to you.

I’m talking to the person who is tired. Who is drained. Who, despite applying all the sage advice on the internet, is just burnt out from the process of shifting.

And if that sounds like you, let me repeat: Maybe you need to stop actively trying to shift.

Your work is done. And that’s a good thing.

You’ve spent years ingraining the idea of shifting into your subconscious. You’ve impressed the intention to shift so deeply that it’s already there. Congratulations! You did all the mental work. It’s done.

Your DR is already yours. You already have the ability to shift.

So stop trying to trigger it. Stop trying to make yourself shift.

Let go of the “making yourself shift” process.

“Oh my god, she’s going to tell me to take a break.”

LMAO you thought.

Yes, breaks are excellent. They help reset and recharge your mindset. I always encourage taking breaks if you need them. But let’s be honest. Sometimes, even the thought of taking a break feels just as mentally exhausting as staying on your shifting journey.

“Oh no, she’s going to tell me to do nothing at all.”

Once again, you thought.

Instead, you’re going to capitalize on the fact that you’ve already done all this work. The intention to shift is always, always, always in your mind. Your subconscious knows you want to shift. Just like it knows how to shift your awareness.

So, the next time you lay down to do your shifting process...

Instead of trying to shift…

Instead of trying to induce a shift, induce the void, or force an outcome…

Give yourself exactly what you want.

Give yourself the feeling of being in your DR.

Drop the conscious, active intention to shift because your subconscious already has it covered. You don’t need to keep hammering it in. Instead, focus on inducing the emotions you would feel if you were in your DR.

Imagine waking up in your DR. Imagine being there. Imagine spending time with your DR friends, your S/O, whatever makes you happiest. Personally, I lean toward wake-up scenarios. You can listen to music, meditate, visualize, even do a shifting method if you enjoy it—but instead of doing it with the intention to shift, you’re doing it just to give your body and mind the feeling of being there. The happiness, the calm, the excitement, whatever it is for you.

This does not mean you’re lying there thinking, “Okay, this is going to make me shift.”

No. No, no, no, no, no.

Drop the idea of shifting entirely. That process is done.

And I’ll say it one more time:

If you were going to shift by inducing a shift, making yourself shift, or triggering a shift, it would have happened already.

So let it go. Drop it.

Induce the emotions of being in your DR, and then let go. Once you do that, go to sleep. Or go about your day. That’s it.

So why does this actually make you shift?

Because feeling is the language of the subconscious.

Think about it: The moments in your life that shaped you the most weren’t just things you thought. They were things you felt deeply. Joy, fear, excitement, grief. Emotions imprint on the subconscious. That’s why certain smells, songs, or places instantly bring back vivid memories. Because your subconscious records experiences based on emotions, not logic.

So when you stop trying to shift and instead just focus on feeling like you’re in your DR, your subconscious responds by aligning your awareness to match that emotional state.

Because to the subconscious, there’s no difference between imagination and reality. When you visualize something vividly enough, your brain fires the same neurons as if you were actually experiencing it. Athletes use this trick to enhance performance. Musicians use it to refine their skills. And guess what? It works for shifting too.

When you let go of the effort and just immerse yourself in the emotions of already being there, you bypass the resistance that trying creates.

And that’s when the shift happens.

It happens because you stopped forcing it.

It happens because your subconscious already knows how to shift, you just needed to get out of its way.

So, again, drop the struggle. Drop the effort. Stop trying to shift.

The more precise or perfect you want the shift to be, the more pressure you put on yourself. Your brain rebels against that because rigid control drains energy.

Remember this:

High Emotion + Low Attachment = Flow.

When you feel something strongly but aren’t clinging to the result, your subconscious has room to act. This is why sometimes, when you care less or focus on something in a passing, emotional way, it manifests easily.

This is why people can give up on shifting entirely and shift. This is why people let go of the need to shift and shift. This is why you shift without meaning to.

You: “No, I can’t do this! I need to keep trying to shift or else my subconscious will think I don’t want to shift anymore!”

Me:

*As always, take what resonates, discard what doesn’t, because we’re all different people who need to hear different things :)

[riemanifests]

hii! how can i manifest a full body change overnight? like manifest my dream body overnight.

also can i be 🧃 anon?

hii of course! let's get into it.

　 ⊹  . 𝓗𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓸 𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓯𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽

Your beliefs are the selectors of the realities you can experience. 　

　 𖥔 ִ 　 ˙ Manifestation Concept

we naturally make concepts around everything in life. in this case you want to focus on changing your concept around your ability to manifest and your ability to manifest appearance changes to one that aligns with you being the version of yourself who manifests things overnight. 　 the easiest way to set these rules to your reality, or create the belief, is to repeatedly affirm. here are the affirmations that you want to turn into beliefs:

᧔᧓ . Beliefs about your ability to manifest in general ᛝ　I always manifest my desires overnight. ・　I always manifest what i want instantly. ᛝ　I always wake up with my desires. ・　I am someone who manifests their desire instantly. ᛝ　I am someone who can manifest things overnight. ・　It is so easy for me to manifest things instantly. ᛝ　It is so easy for me to manifest my desires overnight. 　 ᧔᧓ . Beliefs about your ability to manifest appearance changes ᛝ　I always manifest appearance changes overnight. ・　I always wake up with my desired appearance changes. ᛝ　I am someone who manifests appearance changes instantly ・　It is so easy for me to manifest appearance changes overnight 　

　 𖥔 ִ 　 ˙ Decide and persist

here are the 3 things i want you to decide to yourself right now:

You are the version of yourself who manifests things overnight decide to yourself right now that you are the version of yourself who manifests things overnight. you are now someone who manifests things overnight. and all of those beliefs up there? those are YOUR beliefs now. decide on that. 　

You have your dream body decide to yourself right now that you have your dream body. you manifested it overnight. yes you heard me correctly, it is done now. decide on that. 　

You will persist in that story no matter what goes on in the 3d decide to yourself right now that you will stick to those decisions, no matter what. no matter if the 3d doesn't reflect your assumption instantly, no matter if it's showing you nothing or moving slowly, no matter what. you should NOT be switching your story because of what you see in the 3d, you are the one who controls what you see in the 3d. reality conforms to you, not the other way around. 　

　 𖥔 ִ 　 ˙ Daily routine

now if you don't want to do this then you don't have to, but this is just a way you can take it further to make sure you're really persisting in the new story. 　 ᧔᧓ . In the morning ᛝ　when you wake up, i want you to start affirming to yourself things like "omg i manifested my dream body overnight!" or "i have my dream body now". i don't care if it feels fake, if you don't believe it, or you feel like wavering, you should be telling yourself the story you want reality to reflect. 　 ᧔᧓ . During the day ᛝ　when you think about your body tell yourself the same thing again "i manifested my dream body already", "damn my body looks amazing", or "i'm so happy i have my dream body". just keep it going! 　 ᧔᧓ . At night ᛝ　now you can tell yourself things like "i'm so happy i woke up with my dream body this morning". just do that until you're ready to sleep. another thing you can do is visualize yourself waking up with your dream body and getting excited looking in the mirror or wtv. but you're doing this as a way of you reminiscing, because it already happened so it's now a past memory. 　 so........ when do you stop doing this whole thing?

um never? the minute you say you have your dream body is the minute you have it, so why would you go back to wanting it if you already have it now?? keep going. keep persisting. keep deciding. no. matter. what. 　

　 ᧔᧓　　　.　　　⊹　　　⁺　　　𓂅

my post on appearance changes my appearance change challenge

᧔᧓　　　.　　　⊹　　　⁺　　　𓂅

[margecouture]

releasing limiting beliefs 📜

releasing limiting beliefs is incredibly empowering and important for mental clarity and wellbeing. getting rid of limiting beliefs also create more positive opportunities to attract success and become a better version of yourself. here are some steps to releasing limited beliefs:

identify your beliefs. it’s good to start by recognizing the beliefs that limit you. the first step is to finding the cause for that belief and being mindful. is this belief tied to a past experience? has this belief been told to me by someone else therefore changing my perception? what evidence do i have that truly supports this belief? remember, past circumstances and the events of other peoples lives do NOT define you or who you are. each situation has happened to strengthen you and help you grow. you are good enough and you will succeed. pick up the mindset that each day is a new day to start fresh, that’s why we are given new mornings and fresh starts.

challenge any negative beliefs and replace them with positive ones. instead of thinking thoughts like “i am not capable, how would i possibly be able to do this?”, transform those thoughts into “i am capable of achieving great things because i am me.” so many people in today’s society don’t realize that being yourself is just enough. that’s the reason why no two people are the same, we are all meant to bring our own individuality to the table. it’s helpful to drown those negative beliefs with positive ones by using affirmations as well. regularly repeating positive affirmations can and will reprogram a new set of beliefs.

visualize success. visualize! visualize! visualize! imagine yourself succeeding and living in your accomplishments daily. this helps to keep you motivated and help reinforce positive beliefs towards yourself and others. visualization gives you confidence and make you eager to conquer whatever is in your way to get to where you desire to be.

take action. begin to act as if your new beliefs are true. you are accomplishing every goal. you are radiant. you are healthy. the more you practice and act like your new self, the sooner it’ll become reality. surround yourself with positivity while on the journey, such as having a positive social media, reading new books, creating a vision board, and having healthy relationships. these are all positive influences in the right direction which can reinforce your new beliefs effectively.

daily gratitude practices. regularly practicing being thankful can shift your focus from limitations to abundance. this shift in mindset can help weaken limiting beliefs and reinforce positive ones by creating an abundant outlook on life. be thankful for things like your ability to wake up each day, your willingness to become a better person, or the cup of coffee you drank this morning. this opens your mind to finding more opportunities to be grateful.

take risks and embrace failures. stepping outside of your comfort zone and taking risks help you to realize that failures are a natural part of growth. taking risks may look like having that hard conversation you’ve been putting off, posting that content, praying instead of complaining in hard times, or even small risks like choosing to eat a salad instead of that greasy burger you may really want. these are all steps you can take that’ll produce a positive result. also, failures build character and help you to gain experience. if you fail, at least you know what to do right the next time.

remember, releasing limited beliefs is a journey that takes time and dedication. it’s like unclogging a drain— it frees up your mind to achieve its full potential. be patient and intentional with yourself and celebrate any progress you make along the way. cheers to a healthy mindset and better thoughts! ✉️

[absurdthirst]

A Roman Romp {Deiter Bravo *AS* Marcus Acacius x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 9.9k

Warnings: Drug mentions, power imbalance, fucking the boss, clitoral play, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, oral sex (male receiving), derogatory names, role play, rough sex, Dieter being unbelievably bad with emotions, costume play.

Comments: You've found a niche as Dieter Bravo's assistant. Taking care of him and sleeping with him work surprisingly easy until his new role as a Roman general makes you completely feral for him.

A/N: Completely inspired by the sexy, bloody gifs.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Dieter Bravo MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

“Deeper. Raspier.” You decide, ignoring the frown of the man in front of you as you contemplate the voice pitch he has changed into. Dieter Bravo loves to experiment with his voice and facial expressions, but being the consummate narcissist that he is, he doesn’t like it when it’s not immediately loved by all. You don’t work that way and he knows it. It’s why you are permitted to run through the dialogue with him and read the scripts when most assistants just scheduled appointments and bring the actors they work for the page changes. “This is a man who has screamed throughout the bloodiest battles, who has inhaled the smoke from a hundred thousand fires. He’s hardened by battle, by death, and he shows it.” You explain, painting a picture for him to visualize from the comfort of his plush designer sofa in his Sherman Oaks mansion.

Dieter nods, shifting to sit up and he clears his throat. “You’re right. He’s seen shit we could never imagine. He needs to be tortured but capable.” Dieter decides and rolls his shoulders. His eyes focus on the script and he says “I declare for Rome. For her Emperor. For her people.” He deepens his voice, letting it catch to be raspier than before. “How was that?” He asks, face softening as he expectedly looks at you.

Despite the massive ego, the demands, and his ability to act like a twelve year old boy at times, Dieter is surprisingly needy. He craves acceptance, like a feral cat who spits and hisses when you get too close, but is desperate to be loved on their own terms. You deal with him delicately at times, more harshly at others, all while understanding that neediness. It’s what made you work well for him. “That was good.” You nod in approval.

He thanks you with a slightly dazed, soppy smile, like he's grateful for the approval. Like it means the most coming from you. "Yeah?" He asks, hungry for more praise and you nod. He stares at you for a second before he looks back at the script, continuing with the new voice he's found for the character and he continues practicing his lines, his eyes drifting over to you every now and then as he seeks approval.

This time he runs through the lines without you reading the other parts, but sometimes he wants you to voice the other characters, to give him a tone to feed off of. Since the Cliff Beasts debacle and you coming to work for him, Dieter has been determined to win another Oscar and you think this might be the role to do that.

“I’m trying on the costumes this afternoon.” Dieter tells you like you didn’t already know that. You know every detail of his schedule. “I know.” You chuckle softly and he flushes slightly, “yeah. I am hoping it’s going to help me find the character posture.” He confesses, “and I get to check out my trailer before filming begins in a couple days.”

That’s code for he wants the trailer to feel like his own personal retreat so you need to pack up all of his favorite things. Like you hadn’t already planned that. “I will make sure that you can relax.” You promise, shooting him a soft smile. “Your favorite incense and candles, that serenity stone and I’ll pack up your favorite sheets to bring with us today.”

“You’re the best.” Dieter compliments you and it’s a rare occasion but he’s sincere as he offers you a soft smile. “I’m gonna go smoke a little before we go to the studio. Can you go get some tacos for me?” He asks, “carnitas.” He decides with a nod as he relaxes against the sofa.

“Sure thing, boss.” You wink at him and put a little away in your walk as you leave the room, knowing his eyes are on your ass. This thing you have with Dieter is incredibly easy and complicated at the same time. You sleep together, pretty damn often, but you aren’t his girlfriend. He’s sworn off relationships since Kate and Anika, but it’s not like you can blame him. You get sex and as a bonus, it puts your boss into a better mood for you to deal with him professionally. It doesn’t hurt that you care about him a lot, love him really, but that’s something you would never admit to him. You know that you just fill a void in his life.

Dieter watches until you disappear and he sets his script down, rubbing his scruffy cheek. Fuck, you’re so goddamn gorgeous. Too good for him to touch you honestly and he knows he’s putting everything on the line. Losing you would mean losing his assistant but also his best friend and some of the best fucking sex he’s ever had. He can’t tell you anything about how he feels in case you’re scared off and he loses it all. With a sigh, he looks back at his script and waits for you to return like the lovesick fool he is.

It doesn’t take you long, the place where you go makes the best fucking tacos and they know how Dieter likes them. He’s ordered from there often enough while he’s high. You get some extras because he said he wanted to smoke some weed when he gets back from having his costume fitted and you know he will have the munchies. Picking up some salad because you know he won’t eat greens unless you get them. “I’m back.” You sail through the door with the paper bag and grin. “You eat and I’ll get the bag together for your trailer.”

Dieter groans at the smell of the tacos and he pats the space next to him. “Come and sit down with me, babe.” He orders, wanting you to eat as well. You run around after him all the time and he knows you don’t always remember to eat.

“Okay.” You don’t argue, just plopping down beside him and handing him the agua fresca you had ordered for him from the drink carrier. “I can eat and then I’ll make sure we get you settled into your trailer.”

Dieter reaches out to squeeze your leg. He’s always been a touchy feely kind of man, needing that physical connection. That’s why he wants sex so much. He loves to feel wanted and to be touched. “You’re the best.” He says around a mouth full of tacos.

“You might not think so when you see this.” You tease, pulling out the salad to set in front of him. He doesn’t argue but he does pout, swallowing the mouth of tacos and sighs. “Did you get that adobo dressing?” He asks hopefully, knowing he would eat anything as long as that stuff is on it. “Two of them.” You promise. “So you can have one for a salad on set.”

“Fuck yes. You’re - you’re the fucking best. No one comes close to you. Literally no other assistant is like you, babe.” Dieter praises with a mouth full of tacos. His last assistant couldn’t make him hard and he certainly couldn’t make him eat salad. He was authoritative and while Dieter likes to be submissive, when it comes to his work, he is the one in control.

You shouldn’t let the praise get to you, knowing that Dieter is always expressive when he’s happy and then can throw full tantrums when he’s not. Still, you smirk and lean forward to grab a taco for yourself after putting a straw in your own drink. “That’s why you pay me so well.” You remind him. “Don’t forget you still have to make that happy birthday video to send to your niece.” You take a sip of your drink. “I’ve already sent the gift from you. It’s a battery operated kiddie jeep. She will love it.”

Dieter nods, knowing he would have completely forgotten about her birthday. He loves his niece but his brother is a stiff prick. Always the golden child. Better at everything including being monogamous and heterosexual. He went to college, got his finance degree. Has the wife and 2.5 kids in Dallas and Dieter is…never good enough. Even when he’s won a fucking Oscar. “I gotta go see that kid soon. Make sure she’s not fucking boring like her dad.” He snorts as he wipes his mouth.

“Let me know when you want to go and I’ll work it into your schedule.” You promise, reminding yourself to remind him of it when filming ends for this movie. He always wants to go somewhere after he’s wrapped a movie. “Just let me know and I’ll take care of everything.” From his flight to the drugs, you will make sure he has everything he needs.

“Thanks.” He murmurs, unsure if he wants to deal with his family. Especially his parents. He left Texas to come to L.A when he was eighteen and he struggled until he got spotted while he was failing at being a waiter. “You need a break too. At some point.” He announces as he reluctantly digs into his salad even with the adobo smothering it.

“I get breaks.” You remind him. But it’s true you don’t get them often. Even when Dieter travels, he brings you with him. He likes having you close and it’s not something you are completely opposed to. Spending months in Croatia or China is amazing. You reach over and brush his hair back and kiss his cheek. “Thank you for eating your salad.”

He loves the praise and hates that he loves it. His life is messy and the last thing he wants to do is lose you because he ruins it with his personality. At least like this you’re at a distance. “Fucking lettuce.” He grumbles and takes another bite, tilting his cheek out so he can get another kiss.

You grin against his skin as you pepper his cheek with little kisses. You don’t mind when he’s like this. It’s sweet, even if it’s needy. Dieter so desperately wants love and for someone to adore him. He just manages to ruin every relationship he gets in when someone new shows up and showers him with attention. You know that it’s possible with your situation. You just have to deal with it.

Dieter loves the way you give him affection and he chews his salad after you pull away, he looks down at the salad, setting it down after a moment to dig into another taco. “Tacos are better.” He decides and watches as you dig into your own food.

“I know they are, baby.” He hates eating salads and you try to make it fun most of the time, but there’s no chance against tacos. “But this counterbalances the tacos. You’ve been doing so good at the gym. That sexy body needs the good stuff for all those fight scenes.”

Dieter has definitely had to put in time at the gym to make sure he’s getting in shape for this role. He had a nutritionist and personal chef come in for the past few months and he’s done pretty good building up his arms. “Yeah? You think I’ll look convincing?” He asks, eager for your approval of the body he’s been working out for.

“You’ll be amazing.” You promise him. “You already have a look that can be so authoritative, but put you in Roman armor?” You groan quietly and shake your head. “I thought Maximus was sexy, but your Marcus Acacius will blow him out of the water.”

Dieter flushes slightly, ducking his head at your praise, and he loves how you compliment him. “Yeah? You think I’ll be sexy in the costume?” He smirks, “and the sex scene.” He adds, “gonna watch me on the closed set?”

You knew there was a sex scene, but you didn’t think Dieter would want you there. “If you want me to.” You tell him. “I know that day will be a long one for you.”

Dieter nods, reaching for your hand after he wipes his clean. “I want you there. I always want you there.” He admits, “I just - you know me best in that department and I want to make sure it looks real, natural.”

You could point out that Dieter has had so many more lovers than you have, but you don’t. “You’re going to look even sexier then.” You promise. “They are going to create a new Oscar category just for you. Best Sex Scene.”

Dieter chuckles, “I fucking wish. I could win that every damn year.” He says with conviction, “especially if I was filmed with you.” He says and winks, picking up the salad to reluctantly finish it even with the dressing.

You hum in approval and quickly finish your own taco before you pat his leg gently. “Let me go get you packed up so we can leave, baby.” You murmur. “You don’t want to be late with Wardrobe.”

Dieter nods, watching you get up and his eyes drop down to your ass again as you make your way into his room to get what he needs. You do everything for him and he can’t ever pay you enough for putting up with his shit.

Less than an hour later, you have Dieter loaded up in the car and you are headed to the studio where you will be filming the fight scenes. Some of the location work will be later but they want to get the fights filmed first to give them plenty of time to work on the CGI. Dieter decided to let you drive so he could read over the script again. “Don’t worry. While you are with wardrobe, I’ll get the key to your trailer. We can take a picture outside with your name on it for you IG.”

Dieter sighs, he hates social media but he knows it’s needed for him to keep himself relevant when his industry is suddenly flooded with fucking Tik Tok stars and IG models. “Sure.” He adjusts his sunglasses on his nose as he reads over the script, “you really think the voice is right?”

“That voice went straight to my pussy.” You admit, knowing that confession will give him a smug grin. He likes knowing when something turns you on. “Yeah?” His normal voice instantly changes to the once he had practiced for Marcus and you make sure to squirm in the driver’s seat a little. “Yeah, it’s good. Panties around the world will explode.”

Dieter smirks, imagining the reaction with his fans but he doesn’t care about their panties exploding when he only wants yours to explode. Sure, it helps his career to still be considered a sex symbol but he wants you to want him more than any woman thirsting on Twitter.

You giggle quietly to yourself, guiding the car to the studio and you get parked. “Okay. Do you want to see the trailer first and figure out where it is? I can get it set up while you are in wardrobe?”

“Yeah. I wanna see if they gave me a good one or if they put me in the fucking back again.” He had a meltdown when his trailer was at the very end of the lot on his last project. He’s a fucking Oscar winner not someone doing their first fucking movie. You nod and he gets out while you gather the bags with his things. He doesn’t ask if you need help. That’s never really been his nature so you carry the bags to the trailer that’s been assigned as his. “First row. Now that’s more fucking like it.” He declares as he claps his hands.

You chuckle at his enthusiasm and follow him into the trailer. It’s perfectly clean and sterile in that brand new kind of way and it will bother Dieter if it stays that way for too long. “I’ll get all this set up to your liking.” You promise.

Dieter looks around before his eyes find yours again, "that would be awesome." He declares, "oh and get me some Kit Kats. You know I love snacking on those ever since Cliff Beasts." He shivers slightly at that movie. Something he took in the desperation of the pandemic when he was stuck at home alone and was losing his mind.

“Kit Kats.” You nod and walk up to him, sensing that he needs a little affection. You caress his cheek and press your lips to his. “You are going to be amazing.” You promise him. “We will make sure this is the best film shoot you’ve ever had.”

Dieter appreciates you and he sighs, “I better get to costume to try everyone on.” He hates costume design but he needs to get there since it’s his time and they will need to do adjustments. “I better go, babe.” He kisses your cheek and exits the trailer, disappearing while you sort out his trailer.

You run and get the KitKats and make four more trips from the car for the bags of stuff for Dieter’s trailer. Stripping the basic sheets off the bed, you replace them with the Egyptian cotton ones that are 2500 thread count, which he loves. Shoving the pillows that were on the bed into a small compartment because he prefers down alternative pillows and putting the soothing weighted blanket over it all. The candle and incense is already burning and there’s a whiff of sage still, letting Dieter know that you’ve done all the things he claims helps clear his mind and calm him down. The basket full of KitKats next to the room temperature San Pellegrino bottles that he prefers when his throat hurts. The small refrigerator is stocked with other drinks and you look around satisfied that he will be comfortable.

Dieter stares at himself in the mirror in his costume and he smirks, knowing you’re going to lose your mind when you see the armor on his body. It’s surprisingly heavy and he didn’t think they’d use metal but they have. He likes the weight of it, it helps him get into character a bit more. The costume designers take notes on adjustments and he changes back, making his way to his trailer. “Fuck. You are amazing.” He compliments as you fluff the pillows you brought from his home.

You hum in delight and turn back to look at him. “That’s what I’m here for.” You motion to the trailer. “Think you can decompress here?”

He nods, groaning as he lays down on the bed. “Come here.” He opens his arm to invite you to lay with him and you follow his order, making him sigh and he shifts to curl around you. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He confesses, burying his face in your neck.

“Be late.” You tease, stroking his side and chest and you let him hold you. “Wear the same thing for a week and eat nothing but tacos.” You enjoy taking care of Dieter and for all his selfishness, you appreciate the moments like this where he acknowledges everything you do for him. “How did costume fitting go?” You ask, sensing that he’s in a pretty mellow mood so it must have been good.

Dieter loves how you touch him and he nuzzles into your neck, pressing a soft kiss there. “It went well. They just have to do some minor adjustments. I- I am worried that I look - that I’m too old to do this part. The fighting. Will I look believable?” He asks, a frown on his face as he pulls back to look at you.

“Completely believable.” You promise, reaching up to run your fingers through the longer curls that he’s grown out for this role. “You will look like the war-hardened general. Experienced and trained by years of fighting.” You remind him. “Generals have wisdom. They’ve experienced heartache and lost men. They are supposed to have some gray in their hair and beards.” You bring your fingers down to scratch through his facial hair, knowing how much he likes that. “They might have to add some more. You don’t have quite enough to be that salt and pepper look, if that’s what they want. You’re gonna win another Oscar. I just know it.”

Dieter loves how confident you are in his abilities and that makes him feel more secure, makes him a better actor. “Thank you.” He whispers, leaning in to kiss your jaw. “You - I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He murmurs, closing his eyes. You hum, continuing to stroke his hair until he blurts out, “I want Chinese for dinner.”

You are so used to the way that Dieter suddenly shifts gears that it’s nearly automatic. “The fancy or the nasty?” You ask, wondering if he’s wanting the upscale Chinese fusion place or the tiny little hole in the wall that makes the best egg rolls you’ve ever eaten in your life.

He ponders it for a second, “the nasty.” He offers you a smirk. “The greasy egg rolls. The fried rice.” He groans at the thought, “then tomorrow I’ll be good. I’m training tomorrow.” He tells you like you don’t know his schedule off by heart.

“Sword training.” You agree. “Bright and early at seven.” He groans pitifully and pouts at the early morning call. “I’ll make sure that you have a powerful protein smoothie first thing.”

Dieter groans, “smoothies and sword training. Seven? Fuckkkkk.” He moans and curls around you again. “Baby baby baby. Let’s go back to mine and then we can get dirty Chinese food and then I can eat my dessert.” He smirks, sliding his down between your legs to cup your cunt through your leggings.

“Yeah?” You moan quietly, always loving how his large hands feel on your body. “We can call and pick it up on the way.” You don’t call it home, because technically you don’t live with him although you spend most nights at his house. “Maybe a bath after and I can rub your back before you fall asleep.”

“Fuck you spoil me. I gotta call Sally and tell her to give you a damn raise.” He groans, telling you he wants his manager to make sure you’re looked after. He presses his fingers against your clit through your leggings, wanting to hear you moan again.

You don’t bite your lip, knowing that Dieter doesn’t want you to suppress your sounds. He’s always greedy for the sounds you make, greedy for the approval. His fingers press insistently against your bundle of nerves expertly. “Dee, baby, that feels so good.” You praise breathlessly.

He loves hearing your praise. He’s greedy for it and he hisses when you lean in to kiss his jaw. His fingers continue to press against your bundle of nerves, pressing and rubbing, wanting you to fall apart for him.

“Dee, baby.” You arch your hips up under his hand, grinding your clit down against his fingers. “You’re gonna make me cum. Fuck, I’m going to ruin these panties.”

He wants to hear your sweet cry. He groans, hardening in his pants, “I’ll buy you more.” He promises, continuing to rub you through the material. “Cum for me, sweetheart. Want to hear those sweet fucking moans.” He urges you on.

It doesn’t take long when Dieter wants to make you cum. He’s a skilled enough lover to have learned you, since you’ve slept with him so much. You hold onto his arm, gasping in pleasure until your toes curl. “Deeeeee!” You cry out, closing your eyes when the wave of pleasure washes over you and heat fires through your core.

He hisses when your thighs squeeze his hand, keeping him trapped there while you squirm through your orgasm. “Fuck you’re so pretty when you cum.” He coos, watching you with fascination.

You doubt that. Sometimes you are a little disbelieving that he finds you sexy, but you understand that he might want you to think that so you continue to sleep with him. Whining drowsily, you pull him close and press your lips to his. “Do you want to break in this bed now or go home?”

Dieter smirks against your lips, "come on baby. Let's do it. Break in the bed then we will get Chinese food." It sounds like a fantasy he's jerked off to thinking about you. He is already hardening in his pants and he groans when you reach down to squeeze his bulge. "How do you want me?" He asks, "cowboy? doggy? waterfall? little dipper? the socket?" He lists off positions with raised eyebrows.

You squeeze his cock again and then slide your hand under the waist band to wrap around his shaft. Dieter moans and he twitches in your hand. “How do you want me?” You ask. “You know it’s the Big Dipper with this cock.” You tease, knowing how much he loves being praised for how big he feels inside you. “Do you want to fuck me? Or have me do the work?”

Dieter loves to be a pillow prince but right now, he wants to fuck you. "Strip off and lay on your side." He demands, his voice lowering as his cock twitches at the thought of sliding inside of you. You're so hot and wet, like fucking velvet, and you make his toes curl.

You have no problem stripping for him, he’s seen you naked more times than you can count. Pulling your bra down your arms, you toss it to the floor after pulling your shirt off and quickly strip down the leggings and ruined panties. “Are you going to fuck me wearing clothes or are you stripping too?”

Dieter wants to be naked too. He loves being naked. He would spend all weekend naked if he could. He shuffles off the bed and scrambles to pull his shirt over his head, shoving his sweats down to expose his hard cock. You lay down and he shifts to lay behind you, reaching down to grip his cock. He pumps himself a few times, "lift your leg, baby. I want to slide inside that wet pussy."

Lifting your leg gives him the access he wants and you reach back for his hip. Wanting to touch him as he rocks his hips forward. “It’s so wet.” You promise. “I need you inside me, Dieter.”

He shuffles closer, notching himself at your entrance as he pushes into you. "Fuckkk." He groans as your walls envelop him and he pushes deeper until he's nudging your cervix. "Fuck. So fucking wet." He lets go of his cock and grabs your leg, gripping it to keep it elevated.

“Shit.” Your body lights up when he pushes inside you. Taking him up on his offer of sex about four months after you started working for him had been the best decision you ever made. You squeeze your tits and moan, clenching down around him. “Feels so fucking big, baby. You fill me up perfectly.”

Your praise makes him twitch inside you. He loves it when you praise him, it makes his heart flutter and his stomach clench. "Fuck, you're so tight. Tightest little pussy I've ever fucked." He confesses and he has lost count of how many sexual partners he has had. He hadn't ventured out of your bedroom since a few weeks after you started sleeping together. He has become addicted to your body and he can't keep away from your bed. His fingers squeeze your flesh as he starts to rock into you.

You lean your head back against his shoulder and moan. “Easy to say when-“ you gasp when he pushes deep. “Your fat cock makes anything tight.” Your hand reaches back to caress his face, knowing how much Dieter loves to be stroked and caressed while fucking. “God baby, you just ruin me.” You honestly don’t know how you will get over losing the sexual part of your relationship when Dieter gets bored, but you know it will come eventually. Hell, you’re surprised it hasn’t already happened if you’re honest with yourself. But regular sex is something Dieter craves and you have never turned him down, your own sex drive is pretty high.

Dieter loves the praise, fuck, he loves hearing the way he makes you feel spill from your lips. His thrusts become harder and he hisses when you clench around him. “Fuck.” He groans and turns his head to kiss your palm, his other arm is trapped beneath you but he doesn’t care.

You feel that need in the frantic push of his hips. He’s craving the closeness he feels from sex and you push your ass back, encouraging him. “Yes baby, need this. Needed you to fuck me.” You pant. “Always need it.”

He grips your leg, shifting it more towards your stomach and he groans at the new angle. You’re so much tighter like this. “Fuck baby. You - you’re the best. The fucking best.” He murmurs, kissing along your shoulder.

The weight of him on top of you presses you into the bed, making it harder to push back against him, but you just squeeze him tight every time he thrusts back into you. “Deeeee.” You whine, loving the angle of his cock battering against your cervix. He feels like he’s in your guts when he pushes his hope forward. “Fuck baby, that cock is soooooo good.”

Dieter shifts his hips again, trying to find that spot inside you that makes you scream his name. He wants the entire fucking studio to know who is fucking you like this. He groans when you squeal on his best thrust and he focuses on that spot, wanting you to cum for him.

He’s demanding today. Your moans and squeals come easily, fingers gripping the covering on the bed. You’ll have to make it again later, but you don’t care. He feels amazing pounding into you against that spot. “Dee- Dieter- I’m- I’m gonna-“ you pant, trying to talk while he’s fucking you but it’s nearly impossible. “Oh shit!” You scream, clamping down around his cock when you feel the pressure suddenly reach its peak.

The way you gush around him has him panting as he tries to work himself into your cunt as you grip him like a vice. “Fuck fuck fuck.” He hisses, pushing deep. He’s never been great at stamina without drugs so sober, he’s thrusting into you a half dozen more times until he’s painting your walls with his cum.

You groan softly, feeling the hot pulse of his cum filling you. You have an IUD, and Dieter has regular STI testing for insurance reasons and you love that he feels comfortable enough to not use protection with you. “That’s it baby, that’s it.” You reach back and hold his head, wanting to touch him as he rides out his orgasm and collapses on top of you with a breathless huff.

“Fuck. I really don’t pay you enough.” He chuckles breathlessly. “Best fucking pussy in L.A.” He compliments while he’s drunk on his orgasm and he kisses your shoulder, enjoying the feel of your hot cunt wrapped around his softening cock.

You snort at his comment and relax against the pillow. It could be ten minutes or an hour before Dieter moves but you always love the way he collapses into you bonelessly. “If I charged you for my pussy, you wouldn’t be able to afford it.”

Dieter snorts, “probably not.” He doesn’t deny that. Sure, he’s had sex workers in his bed before but you are his assistant and there’s an emotional connection he hasn’t found before. He’s addicted to it and he can’t let you go. He is excited to start this new project with you by his side.

****

“Dieter has an interview at twelve that day, so that shouldn’t be a problem.” You tap a pencil against your notepad as you pour over his schedule. “As long as he doesn’t go over we can make it to the studio by four and then have him ready.” His manager is on the other side of the zoom call, video feed in the corner of your computer, wanting to squeeze in a late night talk show to talk about the movie being released next month, while also teasing about this movie. “Will that work for them?”

“Yeah. We can make that work.” His manager and his PR team agree and you add it to his schedule. “We can also get him on that podcast in the next week, if he has a gap. It’s about sexual exploration and of course people know he is quite active. I think it will develop some big hit content. As long as he doesn’t talk about drugs.” His manager sighs.

“He’s been doing a lot better.” You remind them. “Working out for this film is doing wonders for him, even if he complains. He’s just smoking a little weed on the off days.” You look over his schedule again. “On Thursday he is supposed to have a half day of shooting, if we can reschedule his meeting with the accountant, he could do the podcast then?”

His manager hums and looks over the PR team who nods, confirming it with the podcast booker. “That will work. So that’s his schedule for the next month. Thanks for all your hard work. I know he’s not the easiest to handle.” His manager snorts just as Dieter opens the door to his trailer. He’s still in costume, covered in fake blood and dirt and he’s exhausted. He slumps onto the sofa with a groan.

“Okay, I’ll get back with you all later.” You promise, closing out the Zoom call and turning to look over at Dieter. It’s the first time you’ve properly seen him in costume and your mouth drops open. “Holy shit.” You hiss, clenching your thighs together as you take in the raw, rough and frankly sexy view of Dieter as a Roman general.

Dieter doesn’t notice your interest in his costume, rubbing his forehead as he is hot from the fighting. He’s exhausted. It’s been days of trying to get the scene just right. Including more takes than he’s ever known to cover the reaction of the crowd, of the emperor, of his lover in the stands. “It’s been a long fucking day.” He whines, opening one eye to look at you.

“Yeah?” Your voice is a little raspy, making you clear your throat as you sit up straighter and bite your lip. “It’s been a long day, baby?” You ask, wishing for a moment that Dieter was a method actor that stayed in character. Wanting to hear that voice he had developed for Marcus Acacius while he’s wearing that costume. “You need me to take care of you?”

He opens both eyes and smirks, seeing the way your eyes drop down to his costume. “Does this do it for you?” He asks slyly, standing up from the sofa and he brushes his costume down. His voice deepens as he asks you, “you want me to fuck you wearing this?” Instantly interested in this visceral reaction from you. 

You shiver slightly, his voice changing to the authoritative tone he had practiced with you. His eyes are hardening as he looks at you. “Yes.” You admit immediately. “We can- I can ride you.” You offer, cunt dripping at the thought.

His cock hardens in his briefs under the tunic and he stiffens his spine, wanting to enjoy this role play with you. “Stand up and strip. I want to see you.” He demands, “I want to see what the emperor has gifted me for winning my battle.”

Shit. A whimper escapes you, biting your lip even harder when he slips into role play as he watches you expectantly. You reach for your shirt and drag it over your head to drop to the floor. Wishing you had worn a dress today. “Too bad they aren’t using me as an extra.” You moan. “Pulling off a Roman dress would be sexy.”

“Fuck. I could ask wardrobe for an extra.” He says as his eyes take in your tits and he breaks character for a moment. When you’re naked in front of him, he straightens his back again. “Kneel before your general and tell him your sins.” He demands, “tell him what your weeping pussy yearns for that angers the gods.” His voice is deep and authoritative.

You have no idea if that is anything remotely like a Roman general would say, but you are quick to drop down to your knees in front of him. You bow your head, feigning embarrassment, and there might be a little of the genuine emotion mixed in. Your reaction to his costume is so physical. “You, general.” You moan quietly. “I wish for the general to take his frustrations out on my body. To use my cunt.”

Dieter knows he should be more like a general but he wants to tease you since you’re turned on by this display. By his character. “You’re nothing but a servant. You are nothing to men like me. Someone to fetch my wine and let me fuck your cunt. You want to please your general?” He asks as he reaches down to pull his hard cock from his briefs. He pumps himself and shifts closer to you, “you’re going to suck my cock.” He demands, “and pray the gods forgive you for your lust.”

It’s demeaning and sexy because most of the time Dieter is a whiny, submissive mess who does what you say, but right now he’s in charge. Except he’s not Dieter Bravo, not completely. He’s his character, Marcus Acacius. You open your mouth immediately, your cunt clenching when he pushes the head of his cock onto your tongue and past your lips. Making you moan as you close your eyes. He’s a little salty from sweat but that only adds to the little scene he’s acting out.

He groans as you take him into your mouth but it’s not enough. He reaches down to grab the back of your neck. “You’re not taking my cock like a hungry, needy, little whore. Show me how much you fucking want it.” He demands, rocking his hips to push deeper into your mouth.

You gasp and sputter around his cock, loving the almost ruthless way he is pushed down your throat. You swallow around him, making him groan and you feel your pussy start to drip onto the floor of the trailer. The scene is obscene and you love it, eyes watering as you look up at his ‘dirty and bloody’ face.

His brow is furrowed as he watches you, makeup on his face making him look fierce and he hisses when you swallow around him. “Fuck. Look at you. I bet your cunt is dripping onto the floor, isn’t it? Knowing you are sucking the cock of a general. Someone you’d never be able to be near unless you’re pouring my wine or taking my cock.” He chuckles breathlessly, slapping your cheek.

Your body shivers in goosebumps and you whimper around him. Your nipples are hard and aching and you want to reach between your thighs to rub your clit, but you want to prolong the pleasure. Saliva is dripping down your chin and you bob your head eagerly as you moan around him again. So turned on that you feel like you might cum right now.

Dieter twitches in your mouth, loving the roleplay. It's not really been something that he has explored due to his occupation. "Fuck. Your mouth is the Elysian Fields. Shit. Taking it so well." He compliments you, bending over you to squeeze your breast.

You hollow your cheeks, pressing your tongue to the underside of his cock. Moaning around his length again as your saliva slick jaw works to take him deeper. Wanting to see how long he can last in your mouth before he is pulling out to fuck you.

"Fuck. I - I don't want to-" He loses his character for a moment as he pulls out of your mouth, "I want to fuck you. Get on the bed and show me how much this little slut wants a general to fuck her." He demands, his cock slick with saliva and he wants to cum inside you.

You love the tone and honestly, it’s a little bit of a turn on to hear him call you a slut like that. Dieter doesn’t usually ever use derogatory names unless he’s talking about himself, but this is sexy. You want him to fuck you from behind, but you want to see the costume. Climbing on the bed and spreading your legs wide while you are on your back, you wait for him to react.

Dieter bites his lip, watching your chest heave and he chuckles at how eager you are for him to fuck you like this. “Look at you. Fucking dripping onto the sheets. Hungry for this General’s cock.” He mocks you as he stands at the end of the bed. He grabs your thighs, dragging you down to the edge of the bed. “You’re going to take whatever I give you.” He orders and grips his cock, positioning himself at your entrance before he pushes inside you in one thrust.

Your cry is loud and you don’t care who hears you. It’s not unusual for cast and crew to hear the sounds of sex coming from Dieter’s hotel room or trailer so no one ever expects any less from him. The snap of his hips is more aggressive and your cunt clenches down around him in pleasure as your fingers twist in the sheets. “Fuck- fuck yes!”

He can see how desperate you are for him to fuck you and he loves it. He focuses on being his character, imagining how roughly he’d fuck someone with adrenaline from the battle racing through him. “Fuck you’re so tight. Such a good little whore for me.” He praises as he grabs your legs and straightens them against his body so he can feel even bigger inside you.

Your eyes roll back because of the angle. His cock pushing deeper and kissing your womb. It pinches slightly but the pleasure overwhelms any pain. “G-gods!” You manage, finding it hard to think about anything but how fucking fierce he looks over you. His brows are pinched together and it makes him look furious, adding to the effect of the costume.

His body is still covered in fake dirt and blood, sweat beading on his forehead, and he looks down as your tits jiggle with each move and your mouth is open in pleasure. If you were a Roman god, you’d be Venus. “Taking my cock. Taking your general’s cock like a good slut. You’re hungry for it, aren’t you? Bet you sat there wet and waiting for me to come back from battle. Fuck you hard and make you cum after my frustration in battle.” He grunts, squeezing your legs as he rocks impossibly harder.

You moan and nod. “Yes, General.” You pant out, reaching up and squeezing your left tit as he fucks you. “Waiting for you to come back. Thinking of you.” Your pussy is gushing and Dieter is playing up the part beautifully. You had never thought of role play with him before but it’s perfect.

Your gushing cunt has his cock sliding in and out of you with ease and his skin slaps against your thighs. “Fuck. So good. Feel so fucking good.” He groans and squeezes your calves. He hisses and slaps your flesh, “you gonna be a good girl for your general? You gonna cum for me?”

“Yes. Fuck yes.” You gasp out, knowing that will be easy to do. “Dee- general.” You moan, correcting yourself when he squeezes your thigh and grunts in disapproval when you almost say his name. He obviously likes playing the general right now and you will oblige him. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.”

He wants to see it, hear it, feel it. He groans your name and slaps your thigh, wanting you to fall apart around him. You pant, getting closer and your walls flutter around his cock. “That’s it. That’s it.” He grunts, sliding his hand lower to rub your clit. “Cum for me.” He demands, wanting to hear it, “cum for your general.”

He clenches his jaw and his nostrils flare. It's so goddamn sexy and powerful that the sight of it makes you cum. Your cry is strangled, caught in your throat while your body bucks and heaves under him. Soaking his cock and you vaguely hope you don't ruin his costume as you fall apart.

You clamp down on his cock and your cry has to be heard on the entire lot as you soak his cock. "Fuck, you are - shit. Good girl. Such a good little whore for me. Gonna fill you up now. Don't care if you get knocked up. Will make sure you are looked after by the Emperor." He promises, still in character. "Fuck, I'm gonna - gonna cum." He pants, clenching his eyes as he pushes into you, thrusting a half dozen more times before he can't hold off. He pushes deep as he starts to cum, a whine escaping his lips as he breaks character.

You moan softly, watching his face relax and he literally changes from the character he was portraying to the actor that you work for and sleep with. His shoulder slump and his eyes shift back to a more soulful gaze, glazed over with pleasure as he rocks his hips forward to push every drop of cum into your pulsing walls. “Fuck, Dee.” You can’t help but giggle, your entire body tingling from the pure adrenaline of your orgasm. “That was- is your sex scene going to be like that?”

Dieter inhales deeply, his spine tingling from the orgasm, and he snorts, shaking his head as he looks down at you. "No. No. Fuck." He shakes his head, trying to get control of himself after some great fucking sex. "It's gonna be boring. She rides me, her naked, me in armor." He tells you and you nod, "not like this." He caresses your legs, "not like this."

You hum, smirking slightly and you reach down to caress the armored chest of his costume. “Well then, why don’t I ride you in your costume before you film, so you can imagine I’m the one on top of you?” You suggest, not even remotely upset by the idea of fucking him again like this. Your pussy clenches down around his softening cock. “Anything I can do to help you.”

Dieter smirks, "Jesus, you'll have me hardening in the damn sock thinking about you but fuck...I can bring the costume back to the trailer another day." He decides and reaches for your hand to kiss your palm. "Have I ever told you that I love you?" He asks softly, knowing you deserve to know how he feels.

Dieter says he loves you all the time, most often after you do something for him he had expected you to refuse. It’s glib and flippant, not real so you don’t ever tell him how it hurts you when he does because you know he doesn’t love love you. “I could stand to hear it more.” You admit, heart twisting and you cup his cheek when he puts your hand against it. “Because I love you too.”

Your adoring gaze makes his heart flutter and he’s reminded once again how he cannot live without you. You’re his rock and you keep him on track, not letting him spiral when things go wrong. He sighs, “not like I want you to” and lets go of your hand to pull out of you. He can’t say how he really feels and he dejectedly tucks his cock away.

The ever shifting moods of Dieter reminds you that he isn’t yours and you decide to just giggle to cover the flare of hurt. “Of course not.” You hum. “That wouldn’t fit your reputation.” You sit up and reach for a towel. “Do you want a snack?” You ask, moving back into caretaker mode.

Dieter watches you shuffle off the bed, reaching for your panties and he sighs, “you don’t get it. I don’t mean- whatever. It’s whatever.” He huffs and decides to head back onto set and find himself something to drink.

You frown when he leaves the trailer before you can put yourself back together. Wondering why he seems so shiftless right now, if he’s feeling guilty about something. You know that he’s not great at expressing himself and sometimes acts out like a child would. He doesn’t like being emotionally vulnerable. You decide to go to the set and see if you can help him.

Dieter is nursing a black coffee when you arrive on set and he is sitting, waiting for the other actors to come back from their break. You walk over to him and he stares at the cup in his hand. “Sorry for - for that.” He manages to get out like it’s painful to say.

“Don’t worry about it.” The last thing you need is for Dieter to think you are mad at him. He needs to concentrate on the scenes being filmed today and hopefully by the time he’s done, whatever is upsetting him will have passed. “Do you need anything? Are you hungry? You didn’t eat much this morning.” His blood sugar might be low. “I brought you a Kit Kat.” You pull the candy bar out of your bag and offer it to him.

He looks up at you in surprise and takes the chocolate, undoing the wrapper after you take his coffee and he groans as he chews it, not realizing how hungry he was. You stand there in silence and Dieter hands you the wrapper after the AD calls for everyone to return to set. He inhales deeply, mentally shifting into his character.

You sit in the chair he vacated, that is still warm from him sitting there. Watching as he takes his mark and his co-stars also get into position. It’s always interesting to watch Dieter work, the truth in the saying that all artists are slightly mad being very true. You think he is amazing.

Dieter grunts as soon as the director calls action, working on remembering his blocking and the choreography. People think that acting is easy, that it doesn't take a lot, but Dieter's life has been acting and it's exhausting physically and mentally. He gets lost in his character as he works his way through the scene.

You have memorized the lines and the action sequences. Seeing the hard work he has been putting in come to life as he goes through the scenes. Sometime they cut and reset, but you are so impressed and fucking turned on by his competence in this role, it makes you press your thighs together.

Dieter is sweating when he finishes his scene and he strides off set when the director calls cut, taking the bottle of water you have ready for him. He desperately wants a shower so he's relieved when the director calls it for the day and he hands you the water bottle. "Need a damn shower and some weed." He declares, walking off set and you follow him.

You know that he’s tired so you don’t try to talk to him. Just follow him back to the trailer and you pick up his costume as he strips it off, taking it back to wardrobe as he gets into the shower. His comfy sweats and crocs are set out and you have ordered dinner to be delivered to the house by the time you get there.

Dieter stands under the water, eyes closed as he tries to imagine his life when he’s older. He will be too old to be a movie star, too old to be considered another more than a washed up legend. His legacy will be his Oscar and nothing else. He hates the idea of not having anything else written in his eulogy. He hates the thought of being alone. He imagines if he gets the balls to say how he feels about you. Sure, he’s not conventional but he loves you. You don’t care about the fame or the money. You see him, you know him. He imagines being old, watching his kids grow up with you beside him. He wants that. He just needs to tell you for real and hope you don’t crush his crumbling heart in your hands.

Once you’ve returned the costume, you pick up the changes to the script and the blocking for tomorrow, going back to the trailer to pack up the bag you always carry for Dieter. He’s still in the shower, which is a little unusual but you just think that he’s sore. You’ll offer to give him a massage once he’s smoked a little and relaxed. It’s been a long day.

Dieter finally turns off the shower, stepping out and wrapping the towel around his waist. He washes the makeup from his face with the organic cleanser you get him and he comes out to find you waiting for him. “Shit.” He hisses, rubbing his eyes, “I just know I’m gonna lose you.” He admits, trying to ignore how fucking pretty you look waiting for him.

You frown, not sure what the hell he is talking about. “Are you okay?” You ask, stepping closer to him and wondering if he might have taken something without you knowing. He's been doing so good with not taking random pills, but this is Dieter. “You aren’t going to lose me unless you wander off.” You joke playfully, reaching out and touching his arm.

He flinches and shakes his head, “no. No. You’re gonna go and all because I can’t control- I can’t stop thinking - fuck!” He yells and you jump, making his frown deepen. “There’s - it’s just all in my head bouncing around all the damn time.” He admits, waving his hands around his wet curls, “you’re gonna leave because you don’t - it’s gonna ruin everything but I can’t stop myself.” He admits and you frown, shaking your head, “Dieter. What’s wro-?” You don’t get to finish before he blurts out, “I’m in love with you!”

Your mouth drops open slightly, shocked by his outburst. His eyes are filled with sorrow, grief. As if you’ve already rejected him. “Dee…” he shakes his head “I knew it.” He mumbles and you step closer. “Know what?” You ask, tilting your head. “That I’m in love with you too? That I’m scared that you’ll find someone else? That you’ll be bored?” You ask, voice shallow and fearful. “Because that’s all true.”

Dieter stares at you in shock, thinking for a second that he’s high or this is some dream. He swallows harshly and reaches for his towel, dragging it from his body. “Dieter.” You whisper in confusion and he reaches for your hand, bringing it to his chest. “I’m yours. All of me is yours and I stand in front of you now naked and totally exposed, physically and emotionally. I’ve been in love with you for - well, since you started working for me but I think I told myself that I couldn’t indulge in you, couldn’t ruin you, until that first night we slept together and I - no one else came close to you. I love you and I want you. You’re the only person I can ever see myself growing old with.” He admits, his heart pounding under your palm.

You bite your lip and your eyes fill with happy tears. “I always worried that you would move on. That I wasn’t enough.” You admit softly. “But I want you. Perfectly flawed you. I think you are amazing and I don’t want to be with anyone else but you, Dieter.”

Dieter offers you a soppy smile when he realizes you feel the same way. “You are - Jesus. Seriously?” He asks and you nod, offering him a soft smile as you reach up with your other hand to cup his cheek. “I love you.” He declares before he surges forward to press his lips to yours.

You can’t help but giggle against his lips, throwing your arms around him and dragging him closer. He loves you. He’s whiny, sometimes annoying and always needy, but he loves you. You pour yourself into the kiss, your heart pounding in your chest.

His fingers dig into your waist as he pulls you against him, his tongue sliding into your mouth as he lets it sink in that you love him. “Wanna- wanna grow old with you. Well, older.” He says when you pull back and he points at himself, his wrinkles that he’s insecure about.

Leaning in, you press your lips to the wrinkles and smile at him when you pull back. “Only if you’re willing to steal your costume after you finish shooting.” You joke, kissing him again.

Dieter chuckles, “now that I can agree to.” He promises, caressing your back. “Definitely going to steal that one to take home.” He promises, “for now though…let’s go home and have dinner before I spend all night making love to my girlfriend.” He nudges his nose against yours.

“I ordered dinner to be delivered,” you tell him as you pull back and smile at him. “We’ll smoke a little and then I’ll ride you before rubbing your back.” You tell him the plan as you turn around to reach for his clothes. “How does that sound, baby?”

“Fuck, you really are my soulmate.” He murmurs, looking at you in awe. “Let’s go home, sweetheart.” He orders, slapping your ass. “Uh, you might want to get dressed.” You say and he chuckles, nodding as he grabs the sweats you laid out for him. “Don’t want anyone else seeing the goods. Yours and only yours.” He winks at you as he pulls his pants up and grabs his shirt, pulling it over his head while he slides into his crocs. “Sports mode.” He jokes as he pulls the straps up over his ankle.

You roll your eyes, laughing at the complete dork that you love. He’s quirky in about a million ways and sometimes drives you crazy with his antics, but you don’t want him any other way. Especially if he’s going to roleplay a Roman general with you for the rest of your life. “Let’s go home, babe.” You tell him, grabbing the bag. “We’ll practice your sex scene until we get it right.”

“Fuck yes.” He cheers as you walk out of his trailer and he takes your hand, not caring about anything other than showing you how he feels about you. “Food, weed, then some crazy lovemaking.” He decides and squeezes your hand, “you know…I have a costume left over from Cliff Beasts we could try out.” He teases and you snort, “that’s just your robe. You used your own for the character.” Dieter smirks, “could be sexy if we roleplay it the right way.” He suggests, “these cliff beasts are so large-a.” He does his accent and you sigh, “I hate that that works on me.” Dieter grins, “gonna be a damn good life together, baby.” He declares and you giggle, “yeah it is, Bravo.”

[a-driftamongopenstars]

alright, i finally finished Dragon Age the Veilguard.

tldr; 3/10. I didn't like it.

If you enjoyed the game and would rather keep enjoying it, please don't click the read more section as what follows is rather critical.

I can finally sit down with my thoughts and put them together in a more cohesive structured review, touching on most things that I wanted to address. I'll start with positives and then focus on the negatives.

Warning, this is VERY long.

Overall, I had a neutral to negative impression of DatV, which got worse by the end of the game. It had some good moments, but they were entirely unexplored and underutilized, suffering from bad writing. While the game itself is rather pretty, it didn't outweigh the dialogues, the stories and the lore butchering that took place.

1. Environment and visuals. 8/10.

I think Veilguard is a very beautiful game. I enjoyed exploring the corners of this new world, the little bits of environment design and storytelling that it had. It felt magical, certain locations were mesmerizing! I couldn't stop staring at the valley where you go to with Harding, the carcass of a titan.

2. Combat. 9/10.

I love flashy combat, I enjoy hack and slash, so until the very end of the game I was having most fun in combat. Yes there was repetitiveness but I tried to combat (hehe) it with changing my abilities and weapons every now and then. I liked combos and I liked timed parries. Enemy tactics got a bit boring by the end, but a few enemies still surprised me and challenged me.

.... That's where positives end. Now on to the negatives.

1. Characters. 2/10.

I don't understand what happened. Almost all the characters in this game were tuned down to a two-dimensional personality, "good" and "bad" - and absolutely no nuance. This happened not only to the villains, but to the different NPCs and even our companions. Their interests got narrowed down to single points of interest (Lucanis and coffee being a prime example to me), their motivations got watered down.

This is not what I expect from a Bioware game. I want to be challenged, I want to dislike characters or approve of their choices. I like characters who are messy and complex and don't always have their shit together.

I like villains who may have other reasons for their choices, other than "ba ha ha, I am so evil and I will do evil things". Where is Alexius who sold himself to the Elder one, just so he could save his beloved son? Where is Samson, forsaken by the Chantry and turned to red lyrium with his addiction? Where is Calpernia, misguided in her choices, just to free the slaves of Tevinter?

Where are the slaves of Tevinter anyway?? That's another topic.

2. Rook. 4/10.

On one hand, I liked playing Rook. They were stoic but with a humorous side, ready to get the job done, compassionate to other people.

The problem is that it's the only Rook you can really play. The protagonist is set in their ways and their dialogues and there is very little to roleplay. Rook really does feel like a gentle manager, trying to get everyone to play along nicely, while providing therapy every now and then, and is excluded from the majority of friendly interactions with other people. That awkward glance everyone gives you after their banter is embarrassing. The way you can third wheel people, the way the game actively offers you to leave a couple of animated conversations between other people - why even include those? Why not make Rook a part of the 'team'?

I did like Rook's dynamic with Solas. They got to see a different side of him, one that's not presented heavily in Inquisition. But like everything else, it felt surface level and underexplored.

3. Story arc. 2/10.

I am left unsatisfied with the story. The pacing threw me off so much nearly every quest, it was hard to stay on track. From "we need to solve this NOW" to "actually, let's all slow down and deal with our problems", the plot's priorities were all over the place. We kept hearing about the gods and their destructive oppression, but we saw surprisingly little of it. Yes, there was the Blight, yes there were Venatori and the Antaam, but they felt more like a video game fodder and dressing rather than a part of the story.

Not to mention that all of those things made little sense to me. Why would the gods align with aforementioned factions? Why would the aforementioned factions align with the elven gods? In-game explanation was not enough for me, it did not make sense. Not with the established lore in the previous games.

I also did not enjoy the ending. While the idea of Solas binding himself to the Veil is good and does make sense, what was suggested as the good ending (inviting Mythal to deal with Solas essentially) actually left me feeling awful. I sent a man, full of regrets and self-loathing, on a lonely journey to figure himself out. That... did not sit right with me at all. Neither did the fact that Northern Thedas, supposedly the point of the gods' attack, gets to live and flourish, while Southern Thedas is dying of starvation and blight. That is UNHINGED to me.

4. Music. 1/10.

There was no music. I remember one track. It was not memorable whatsoever and I can't believe they hired Hans Zimmer to do exactly nothing. Just wow.

5. Lore. ???/10.

And here is the worst offender. What was done with Dragon Age lore is unacceptable. I was doing a head-in-hands every five minutes. This was a slap in the face of so many fans who enjoyed the three prior games and delved into deep, interesting lore of various races, countries, cultures and religions. Veilguard showed a big middle finger to all that.

Everyone has already touched upon the sanitization of different factions. From the suddenly slaveless Tevinter to found family Antivan Crows, everything has been scrubbed clean and made sweet and palatable and "good".

The Dalish clans have been removed from existence as we know them. The Antaam left the Qun? Don't even get me started on that. The Chantry has no influence in this game? Really? The Chantry? The biggest religion in Thedas? The one that we know has heavy presence in the Anderfels, the Black Divine in Tevinter? That Chantry?

I think it really hit me how disrespectful the game is during the quest of saving the Dalish elves, where apparently Elgar'nan's Venatori, uplifted to be his servants and chosen people, were trying to sacrifice them. It's a gross and oddly telling idea that the ancient Elven god turned to a faction of racist mages to sacrifice elven people. I actually can't believe I'm writing this. Just how much are you going to shaft these people? Mindboggling.

There is a lot more I have to say on this specific topic, and I probably will later, but the idea is this.

6. Romances. 2/10.

Whoever said this is a game with romance lied so hard. So hard. The romance was atrocious. From the badly written flirting to the lack of romantic scenes (I romanced Davrin), to the poorly timed and awkward 'final' romance moment... It was atrocious. I felt no connection between Rook and Davrin beyond what game was telling me. My actual companions got more screen time with their romances than me and my LI.

Damn, even Evka and Antoine, my single most beloved NPCs in this game, had more romance going on that my Rook.

---

All in all, Veilguard was a massive let down. After having enjoyed the first 3 games many times over, with multiple playthroughs, I was so excited to see how the story of the Inquisition, of the elves, would end. When I saw the first trailer for VG, I knew I would never get to see it. When I played the game, I was left with disappointment and disdain.

I'm glad there are people who enjoyed this game, genuinely. I'm sure there's something to find for anyone, but it was not for me. Nor was it for many other people. It was a let down. I feel like I'll never get the conclusion I wanted - so I'll have to write my own I guess.

I have more thoughts on this game that I might be sharing, but for now this is the review I wanted to write. Thanks for reading!

[hoofusdoofus]

Help Needed! Explanation + Donation Link under read more

Hello Tumblr! It's been a minute, huh. Why? Because surprise! I had emergency retinal surgery on January 21st, 2025. It was discovered the day prior that not only had the retina in my left eye detached, leading to an increasingly large blind spot in my left eye, but there were tears starting to form in my right eye's retina as well. Luckily we caught this on early enough that they were able to quickly laser the tears in my right eye before they led to detachment so I got away with a minor procedure in that eye. My left eye however? Not so much Read on for more below

Unfortunately for my left eye, I had to go under the knife and receive a scleral buckle and cryoplexy to secure the retina back to the eye wall. Surgery was a success, thankfully! Retina has reattached and is healing nicely thus far. Because we caught this before my macula got pulled off too, I've got a great prognosis in terms of vision recovery! Had we waited any longer there would've been a very real chance of permanent vision loss in that eye. All that being said, the recovery journey has been,, very rough! Vision in my left eye is super blurred and that eye is VERY photosensitive thanks to some of the eye drops they've had me on. Bright lights give me massive headaches and I cant focus on text or anything visual for too long without getting insane eye fatigue. Not to mention I get to deal with an insane amount of irritation due to the stitches in place on my eye. Fun! All this couldnt have come at a worse time,, I'm still unemployed and given the restrictions recovery brings my job search has been slowed CONSIDERABLY. Im still applying as much as I can but things are slower going. On top of that, with the care required for post operation, it's also cut down on my partner @pastelgeneticist's ability to do their own work This has naturally led to a lot of unexpected expenses and a general shortage of funds while I'm in the midst of recovering from this whole ordeal. I know I ask for donations and assistance frequently but genuinely, I could use the help now more than ever. If you're able and willing to spare even a dollar or two, It would go a long way to helping keep us afloat throughout all this,, If you could, you could donate directly to my paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/deerpong or my ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/deerderriere

[yourmoonie]

DEALING WITH DOUBTS

Intro:

When doubts, fears, or anxiety arise, don’t fight with them or think that it is a dead-end. Instead, acknowledge them with gratitude. Recognize that fears are trying to protect you, doubts can motivate growth, and impatience signals your eagerness for good things. Invite your fears to wonder, -> "What if success is close?" Let doubts challenge limits and turn impatience into excitement for what’s coming. Rather than resisting old beliefs, shift your view on these emotions, give them a new purpose, and trust your intuition.

1. Shifting your POV

Instead of seeing doubts as barriers, let’s view them as part of our growth. When doubts pop up, it's because something within us wants reassurance or clarity. It’s a signal, not a dead-end. Now stay with me

2. UNDERSTANDING WHY IT APPEARS

Doubts don’t just appear for no reason; they’re often tied to past experiences or beliefs

Doubt -> an underlying cause -> why It appears -> how to reframe It -> moving forward

3. DONT FIGHT WITH YOURSELF

Doubts can actually help us to question, refine, & build more solid beliefs

Each doubt that you move through gives you a deeper trust in yourself. Like a good friend who’s honest with you, doubts can be useful if you listen, learn, and grow beyond them

The example:

✨️THE DOUBT: What if I am not good enough to get my SP's attention

✨️ LISTEN: Hear the doubt as f it's a friend being honest, pointing out where you might feel insecure.

✨️ LEARN: Ask yourself why this feeling exists. Maybe it's tied to a belief about self-worth.

✨️ GROW BEYOND: Use this awareness to focus on building confidence and self-love, reminding yourself that you're worthy and valuable just as you are

✨️ RESULT: Instead of letting the doubt hold you back, you're using it as a push to strengthen your self-image

4. PICK & CHOOSE

After acknowledging & understanding doubts, it’s time to release them

Imagine each doubt as a passing cloud

You notice it, see what it’s about, and then watch it drift away. You don’t have to cling to every thought

Choose which ones you want to keep

5. REMIND YOURSELF OF YOUR TRUTH

When a doubt comes up, gently remind yourself of your truth

Let’s say you doubt if you’re capable of achieving your desire

You could say, “I trust my ability to manifest & I trust myself”

It’s not about forcing the doubt away but bringing yourself back to your inner belief

6. Appreciating them & letting them go

The next time you catch yourself doubting, try saying, “Thank you for showing me what I need to work on.” This way, you honor the doubt but also make a conscious decision to not hold onto it. Acknowledging it without fear takes away its power over you

7. TODAY'S LESSONS

So today, we learned to:

✅️ To acknowledge the doubts without fearing them

✅️ Appreciate what they teach us

✅️ Letting them go and refocusing on the truth

Doubts don’t have to control you. They can be gentle reminders to dig deeper into your own strength

Trust that you’re on the right path

Some ground techniques for you:

Mindfulness Exercise (My favorite):

When doubts or overwhelm arise, bring yourself back to the present moment. Count your fingers, look around, and connect with your surroundings. Remind yourself that you exist in this moment, and that the thoughts passing through your mind aren’t truly you. Let these thoughts drift by and rest in the knowing that everything is working out in your favor.

Energetic Grounding Exercise (Another favorite):

✨ Start by sitting comfortably in a chair. Visualize roots, cords, or chains extending from your feet deep into the earth and from your base chakra. Feel as though you’re solidly anchored, like a tripod.

✨ Then, imagine a rope or pillar of light entering your crown chakra. This light can be any color that feels healing and powerful for you. See it flow through your body, traveling from your head to your feet, passing through each chakra.

✨ Declare out loud that you are grounded to the earth. Visualize toxins and negativity releasing through the roots into the soil, where they are transformed into energy. Allow the crown chakra connection to draw in healing energy that flows throughout your being.

This practice can help you feel centered, calm, and aligned with positive energy.

[lattskull]

The Dent System • Disco Elysium

Here's that Disco Elysium Harvey Dent thing I started like 6 months ago (ᵕ ´ᗜ`) Sorry for the really long wait on this, my files got corrupted and I lost all the progress that I made on Harvey and The Judge. It sucked but hey! its finally here. (ᵔᗜᵔ)◜

.

Some Pre- and Post- denting dialogues ahead for each of Harvey's alters. [Best read in dark mode/dark themes]

[ Composure / Logic / Esprit de Corps / Visual Calculus ]

"They're watching our every move, better to keep our arguments inside rather than outside. You'll lose their confidence if they'll catch our conversations out loud like that again..... and remember, think about what you're about to say...... You should know how the jurors react to an outburst."

"Gilda's coming home in 20 minutes and you're still standing here in your work clothes. Lord knows we've been sweating bullets trying to keep up with multpile cases. I can practically smell the stench of caffeine-fuelled crunch time on that damp work shirt. Take a bath."

"You're losing your grip again.... The freshly made cup of coffee on our table, go grab it. It will burn but keep your hand firmly on its sides. Let the pain travel up your veins, traveling from your hand to your arm, up your spine and reaching the spasming synapses in our brain, overriding the buzzing it causes.... Bring yourself back to reality....... You're here..... You are here."

"Bruce is calling..... Okay, Keep calm. Breath. In..... and out..... Again. Steady as we go...... feel your pounding blood slow down, the quivering in your voice fade. Don't let Bruce think you're having trouble handling things here. Lord knows he's going through his own fare share of problems, he doesn't need to worry about us."

----

"We've been working on a case against these families for who knows how long already..... At this point, you know their routines and the places they usually frequent more than their own men do. "

"You know how Gordon works, take another look at the map. Mark down all of the paths he thinks you can take and make your own. Let’s try to make him and the cops the least of our worries and focus on escaping the bat."

"Alcohol?.... Really? This is hardly the time to be intoxicated right now. Close that bottle and put it back on the shelf. We need to have a clear mind for this...... As clear as we can get it to be anyways."

".....Why do you want to know about Gilda? Leave her out of yours or the other's plans."

----------------

[About Harv]  "....What he says isn't wrong,it's just a path that I wouldn't allow you to be walking on. There are always bad things that happen in this city but it shouldn't mean that we should become just as bad as they are to fight against it."

[About Lucas] "Don’t let him make a mess of all that we’re working on. Keep him as far from our work ‘cause god only knows what he might make us agree to. The Penguin’s already taken advantage of that before..... Don't let him do it again."

[About Apollo] "He is too overconfident in our abilities, believing that we could outdo what the bat does and even more. He's stuck in his grandiose delusions that he forgets that our body is just a human. He's left this body on the brink of death before when he ignored its need to eat or sleep. Everyone here has had to deal with the consequences of his ignorance."

[ Authority / Inland Empire / Rhetoric / Encyclopedia ]

"Doubt holds no place in my judgement, we know the right choice and as do you. You feel it, deep inside you, that familiar churning of your stomach at the thought of injustice left unpunished, of criminals and degenerates masquerading as honorable men to evade their rightful judgement. We can get rid of the evil that festers Gotham's streets, just as the bat does. We too can remedy Gotham of its illness. All you need to do is follow the path I shall set you on."

"My authority is not something to be questioned…… The call is final for this man……. His sentence? Death."

"You hear it too. Gotham cries, It screams. Its agony rings silent to all but those who choose to listen to it, who can recognize its suffering. The city’s skin is crawling with vermin that tear at it, tearing, picking and devouring on its gaping wounds as it bleeds…. Do not misunderstand me — we are not without stains. Our own hands have done our own share of damage to this city….. but we will face our own justice another day. Right now, Gotham needs us to restore itself. Gotham will know peace."

"Bruce……? Gilda……..? I fear I am unable to assist you in that matter. They are relations that the others hold fondly, and I am unfortunately unfamiliar with either one. I believe the connections would be Harvey’s jurisdictions, he was always the more socially adept among the four of us. Try your hand at getting your answers from him, though if all your attempts prove themselves futile, it may be best for you to forget about them."

----------------

[About Harvey] "Out of the other voices you chose to still listen to, he is the one who has some sense of reason despite the fact that he still gives an ear to our worst fragment."

[About Harv] "He is the reason we have fallen so far the way that we have. It is in our best interest not to listen to the salivating barking of a mad dog, continue on my path. We will become justice incarnate. For Gotham. For its people. For us."

[About Lucas]  "What value can be found in the insights of a rabbit that turns to run at a slight raise of a voice? Tune it out, a distraction has no place here."

[ Empathy / Drama / Reaction Speed / Perception ]

"Bruce? Is he our friend? … He is? But he’s… he… he can’t be a friend. Friends don’t lie to each other like he just did. You saw his smile — it was fake. Ma used to smile like that when she didn’t want us to worry about Pa… He’s hiding something. He’s not telling us what he really did last Friday…"

"Wait… was that a click? You heard that too right?……… Mr. Oswald’s gonna have his friends shoot us through the door. I know he's heavy but we need to drag the bat out of here with us. He's bleeding out. He needs a hospital."

"Arkham is really bad…… Why do we gotta go back there? We're a good person aren’t we? Can we stay out here? Please? I don't like the people there…. especially the Clown."

"…..She's calling our phone again….. Can we pick it up this time? Can we talk with her? Can we come back to her? I miss her, I want to hear her voice again….. I want to feel loved again……… We've been good enough haven't we? Why don’t we get to see her anymore?"

----------------

[About Harvey] "He’s really nice, and everyone likes him a lot that’s why we had a lot of friends. But… he really cares too much about what people think of us. Sometimes he tries so hard to make everyone happy that he forgets about what we want to do… Everybody else always comes first to him before we do."

[About Harv] "Everyone’s scared and worried ‘cause they don’t know what he’ll do next. But I think it’s ‘cause they don’t get that he’s just trying to protect us. He always tries to do what’s best for the city, for the body, and for us… even if sometimes he acts kinda like dad. He fights. He yells… and sometimes he even hurts people really bad… but he does it for us."

[About Apollo] "I know he tells you not to listen to me but I'm glad you don't always do what he says ‘cause as much as he likes to think it, he isn’t perfect. He messes up just like us. Only thing is that we know we make mistakes….. He doesn't ever think that he can."

[ Half Light / Shivers / Reaction Speed / Physical Instrument ]

"Look at that grin on that piece of shit’s face….. He knows you just let him get away with shitting on you like that In front of live television. NO FUCKING WAY!!! We're no one's bitch. you got that? Go tear that bastard's throat out. Kill him. Make that fucker eat the mud off of your pantlegs"

"You were alone with him in that room and you did NOTHING. you know as well as I do that he’s guilty of all the charges we threw at him and he's the reason that our star witness just ran outta town tonight…….You should've bashed his head in that night in the alley, but instead you did…. nothing………….pussy"

"... somethings not right here...... We've made a solid case against Maroni, the jury's already on our side.... we even have all photo evidence laid out that incriminates him. So why the hell's he smiling like that for? he shouldn't be smiling like that....... he's got something planned out- what is that bottle?-"

----

"The coin landed on my side today, forget what we're supposed to do. We should do what we NEED to do....."

"Time slows down….. This scene feels so familiar to your body. It's reliving the times we found ourselves knocking out kids bigger than us. Only I got to be in charge of the fighting back then….. Go ahead…. Bury your fist in his teeth….. Do it again….. Again…… and again…… tune in into that feeling of brunt force bursting rhythmically against your knuckles…. don't it feel good? This exhilarating feeling…… its called Justice…….. this is OUR justice. Our violent bloody brand of justice….."

"I don't like this pacing around that you're doing. We just got out of Arkham, Your body is tired; nerve endings screaming through buzzing muscles for you to keep still. If you can’t do the simple task of sitting down and letting your legs rest, then go find us some cheap booze to down."

“You really think that was enough to kill us? Pick yourself up.”

----------------

[About Harvey] "He still believes that there's something to go back to. He's wrong. There's nothing waiting for us back there, everyone's done mourning for Gotham's White knight. Everyone's accepted his death.... now why can't he?"

[About Apollo] "I can't believe I have to be the one that says this but the guy's a lunatic. He thinks we could've taken the entire mob head on by ourselves. We want justice too, but we have to be smart about it. 'else we just run into an open fucking grave."

[About Lucas] "….the kids' smart enough not to meddle with anything of ours, but he needs to stay away from all this. When he's out, you need to take him far from everything that we've been working on. God knows what will happen."

[druap]

Not to sound stupid or anything, but how does the 'boom' mechanisms work for Soap in your new au? Like does he just throw a stick of dynamite at the target or does he just combust on the spot?? And if so, how does he like, recover from that??

OH IVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT TOO so basically its REALLY similar to how Bakugo's (MHA) quirk works, but instead of sweat as a medium, Soap creates micro-combustions directly, using electrical discharge as the trigger Johnny has an internal ability to generate electrical energy that he channels through his body at will. this electricity doesn't necessarily harm him but it can cause him to overheat (which can cause stuff like nosebleeds, high blood pressure, skin burns like he has from his charged form)

MORE YAP AND VISUAL REFS UNDER THE CUT

> how it works:

his body builds a charge like a capacitor

he can direct that energy through focus points like his hands, feet, his whole body or some weaponized items (like grenades)

when he "discharges" (sounds weird but idk what else to call this), it causes a micro-combustion — basically an implosive spark that escalates into a burst or explosion based on how much charge he built

> charged form:

whenever Soap is in a high-adrenaline situation or experiences some intense emotions he can go into the charged form (or well if the lighting hits him lulz, lets keep the mc reference there too)

his explosions are stronger and faster in this form

he can get some minor boost to his speed

overheats very easily in this form and it can be very mentally taxing

> recovery notes:

his main limiting factor is his internal power supply (aka all basic needs) and nervous system resistance

he carries some conductive grounding tools (like some copper fabrics or redstone coated stuff)

he can use products that contain some redstone to "recharge" himself for a short period of time. think of it like an energy bars/drinks

his gear is reinforced with some blast paddings (mainly his vest) and shock-absorbing boots

he cant use his powers whenever he's too cold or physically exhausted

i really wanted to make some example animation of the explosions and how they act but irl things are a bit rough time-wise right now. so here are some gifs from MHA as a visual example:

and here're some examples of how the explosion would most likely look like. i feel like it could possibly look very close to how hextech explosions look in Arcane but its kinda still not what i have in mind but these are the closest ones: ArtStation - Lightning Blast 2D FX Animation

ArtStation - VFX Design #01✨, Julie Lafeuille

small note: ive never actually watched MHA so this reference stems from my basic knowledge of this universe and its laws!! note 2: i also havent recalled physics stuff in a very long time too, so feel free to correct me on some stuff if it doesnt make sence even in a imaginary world :]

[quasi-normalcy]

Every "Nu Trek" (2017- ) Series Ranked from Worst to Best:

Very Short Treks (2023): There's really no words for just how terrible this series is. I mean, I know that it only barely counts because it's explicitly not canon and has a total combined run time of about 15 minutes, but *my god* is it bad! Only one of its episodes is remotely funny, and even that manages to feel like it's driven its main joke into the ground by the end of its 2-minute runtime. The only thing that I can say for it is that is that it gives me an easy, uncontroversial choice for worst Star Trek series, not only of the last 7 years, but of all time.

Picard (2020-2023): Listen; I know that this series is unpopular with the Tumblr Trek fandom, but it actually breaks my heart to have to put it so low on the list. It has, in my own opinion, the best dramatic acting of any Trek series and among the best directing, and almost every individual scene, in isolation, is compellingly watchable. More than that, it has fascinating worldbuilding choices, you can really *see* the passion of the writers for what they're creating (at least in the first and third seasons), and Agnes in particular is among my favourite characters in anything ever. It's got a lot of great moments, too! Picard and Seven bonding over shared Borg trauma; Soji uncovering the truth of her identity; Jurati hacking the Borg Queen's brain; Picard's final farewell to Q; Shaw's Wolf 359 monologue; Geordi's reunion with Data...I could go on. And yet, it just feels like so much *less* than the sum of its parts! Incredible ideas are introduced and then just shrugged off to pursue much more boring ones. Story arcs feel pointless if not actively offensive. Absolutely baffling writing choices are made throughout, with no indication as to why. And the nostalgia baiting , particularly in the final season, becomes so intense that it just chokes the plot to death. One comes away haunted by the feeling that this series should be so much better than it is.

Discovery (2017-2024): Really, this is two separate series: a twisty, grimdark, sci-fi war drama and a gentle queer coffeeshop AU about scientists who talk about their feelings. Both of them have their moments, but they each fall down in the same way: a focus on epic, high-stakes mystery box storytelling that undermines one's ability to really get invested in the characters, or even know who they are when they aren't off saving the universe. Without that, while I liked many of the characters and loved seeing them science the shit out of things using teamwork and the power of math, it's kind of difficult to get invested in this series one way or another. In spite of its absolutely gorgeous visuals, it comes off feeling weirdly...flat.

Short Treks (2018-2020): Not a lot to talk about here; just kind of an anthology series of short films adjacent to Discovery, Picard, and Strange New Worlds. Mostly they're varying shades of mediocre, but a few of them are as brilliant as any episode of Star Trek ever made, so the series gets to be relatively high on the list.

Strange New Worlds (2022- ): This is the first entry on this list that, in my opinion, belongs on the top shelf with some of the best of the older series. And it achieves it basically by adopting the same formula as the original series or the next generation--socially conscious planet-of-the-week adventures with enough wit, cleverness and joie-de-vivre to keep it interesting. I remember in 2017, there was plenty of discussion of how it's possible to update Star Trek's formula for prestige television; how funny that the solution turned out to be "don't change it at all, just give it modern special effects and actual character arcs." That said, the series is a bit *too* beholden to the original, with focus primarily on a bunch of characters who aren't allowed to grow or change too much because we already know how they'll turn out. It would be even better if it were about a new ship and a new crew full of nobodies who we can come to love. Which brings us to...

Lower Decks (2020-2024): Above, I said that Picard felt like it should have been so much better than it was. Lower Decks, frankly, should have been so much worse. How is an adult animated sitcom with Rick and Morty style animation and constant memberberries this freaking good!?! Every episode is a master class in efficient storytelling, with 22 minute runtimes often feeling like they contain as much story and character work as episodes twice as long. And the characters are incredible--like TOS and TNG, they feel almost archetypal, and even though you've never seen them before, they slide so seamlessly into the Star Trek universe that it's hard to believe that they weren't just *always* there; that there was ever a time when you could imagine the Star Trek universe without just intrinsically knowing that Tendi and Shaxs and Mariner were off somewhere in the background. It's greatest success though, the reason why it's comedy works when it really shouldn't, is that it's only *slightly* sillier than the serious series. What we end up with a fantastic series with an ethos that is pure Star Trek, and in fact, if I had written this list a month ago, it would certainly be in the #1 spot. However...

Prodigy (2021-2024?): The first season of Prodigy is...charming. It's got some fun characters, some spectacular visuals, some interesting premises. And if the plots tend to be a little too simplistic to be engaging to an adult, hey, it's a kids' show. It's good. Solid. Above average. And if I had only the first season to go on, it would probably be in third position on this list. But then, a few weeks ago, it went ahead and dropped the best season of Star Trek in a quarter-century, and I really...I just cannot recommend this series highly enough. The sheer, ambitious scope of the narrative; the arcs it puts its character through; the cleverness of the writing; the fricking GORGEOUSNESS of it! And it does all this while redeeming deeply unpopular characters and plot points from other series, in a way that never feels forced or pandering. Not only is it the best Star Trek series of the 21st century, it's one of the best children's animated series since AtLA. Go. Go! Watch it! Watch it now!

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Enhypen's (Green/Yellow/Red Flags) For Partners

Okay, time to move on to one of my faves for this reading. Let's see what they will share about what they like and don't like in a partner.

Heeseung

Green (6 of Cups) Someone he can build a long connection with, maybe be long time friends with. Someone youthful and pure. They may need to have this young vibrant energy. A playful and imaginative person. Also, someone pure, sweet and kind, and also pretty simplistic.

Yellow (Page of Swords) He may not like someone shy and timid, or someone who has a fear to speak up on things. He would want someone communicative and open about their thoughts. He also may not like shallow individuals. He wouldn't want someone who hides information as well and not open and honest with him.

Red (7 of Pentacles) Someone who stays stagnant. Someone who doesn't work hard or doesn't finish what they started. Someone who plays it safe. Or doesn't try hard to push for their goals. He may also not like a lazy person as well.

His overall seems pretty normal and what most people would like or dislike.

Jay

Green (9 of Cups) Someone who is appreciative and satisfied with what they have. Someone who finds a way to be happy and has the ability to get what they want. He would prefer a happy person that doesn't complain too much about things in life.

Yellow (Justice) Hmm, not sure what to make of this one. Maybe someone who has a tough time decided things. They seem to always see both sides of things, maybe someone who is a bit too objective and robotic is a bit of a dislike to him as well. Someone who may focus on too much of the facts or is black and white about things. He may want someone a bit more emotional and less cold. He may not like someone who is neutral about things and can't pick a side or make a decision, that is what I feel it may be a dislike for him.

Red (6 of Wands) I would say someone egotistical, a bit too boastful and prideful he may not like. Someone with a strong competitive spirit, I guess. I am getting more of someone who boast a lot about their achievements. That may bother him. He would prefer a humbler person. I can visualize someone blabbing about all their achievements and not shutting up and him making an annoyed face at it. Love that he gave me that visual lol

Jake

Green (The Devil) This dude is a bit warped here, why would he have this for a green flag? Bro really? He would like someone attached to him and maybe someone he can control ugh dude why did he have to show this. Going to be fun to do his boyfriend reading when I get to him for that series I am starting.

Yellow (Ace of Cups) Once again, not sure why he would pick this as a yellow flag. Someone who may trauma dump on him or pour all their emotions to him way too quickly may be a problem for him, not a deal breaker, since it is a yellow flag, but a bit of a turn off for him. Also, someone who gets too emotional and falls in love too quickly. He may pull away if he sees that too early on.

Red (The Sun) Once again, why this for a red flag not sure, someone with a big ego, someone who shines bright. Hmm, not liking this look, umm, he wouldn't want to date someone with a huge presence. Yeah, I don't like that, this energy kind of shows red flag behavior for him. This need to control his partner and honestly want to dim their light in a sense, keep them humble and small. Well, I hope I am off the mark there, but that is what I get.

I will be real it has been a while since I have seen that toxic energy from him regarding relationships, but it is making its way back in lol I mean that Devil being the green flag is something else, yes, you can say, he may want a partner with self-control and a handworker, but man, there are better cards to show that then this one. This man may want someone codependent on him.

Sunghoon

Green (Queen of Swords) This man is so predictable, love it. He gives me this card a lot. He wants someone smart, a bit cold, very wise, mature. They know what they want and share what they want. A confident person. Someone who isn't afraid to share their opinion and won't back down, but also very diplomatic and non-combative. A very cool, calm, collected person.

Yellow (Queen of Cups) I laughed when I got this, basically he doesn't want someone overly emotional and sensitive and someone who may ask about his feelings a lot or want him to share it, that is a no for him. It isn't a deal breaker, but he does not like people who nag him about his feelings.

Red (2 of Swords) Someone stubborn, combative, create arguments, unwilling to listen and someone who has different ideas and opinions from him, if he can't agree with them and they are not willing to compromise he is done.

Sunoo

Green (The Tower) Interesting card here lol Someone unconventional. Someone who is willing to change things and shake things up. I wouldn't expect this to be a green flag for him. He seems to like things to be stable and safe, so okay. Someone who isn't stringent and just lets things fall if need be.

Yellow (Knight of Swords) Maybe someone defensive. Someone who always has a point to prove or something to say. He may not like argumentative people. Hmm, this is a bit of projection on his part to, because he can be like this too, so unless he has changed, which I doubt it. Kind of projecting here, but maybe he doesn't like people who fuel that energy in him. He may also not like someone who is overconfident in their thoughts and beliefs and is unwilling to back down on it. Also, someone quick to speak, but not listen.

Red (The Hanged Man/2 of Wands) He may not like someone who doesn't see his point of view and understand his side of things. He may also not like people who don't reflect on their actions as much. He may also not like someone who doesn't have a vision of the future, if they can't see a future with him or align with what he wants, he is done. Which makes perfect sense to me lol

Why is he giving me he dated, or is dating someone, and they didn't want to change things and that is where the disconnect happened with him and someone. I sense that from this spread.

Jungwon

Green (3 of Cups) He would want a sociable and friendly person. Someone who gets along with everyone. Probably more so an extrovert type of person who likes to have fun and spread joy to others, the life of the party person. Also, someone he can be friends with as well and have fun with.

Yellow (6 of Swords) Someone mentally unstable and finds it hard to move forward and make positive changes in their lives. He doesn't want to carry the weight of this person. He would want them to be able to move on their own and work on things. He kind of comes off insensitive there, but just my opinion.

Red (The Lovers) Interesting card for a red flag. Umm, he doesn't want a partner attached to him, or to be infatuated with him. I am also getting he may not want to be attached to a partner, so if he likes someone a lot or feels a strong attachment to them, he may pull away and that is a red flag for him. Also, maybe someone similar to him is something he may not want. If that person mirrors traits he has he may not want that person. I guess those mirrors would probably trigger him, which is interesting. He might need to do some self-work and reflection there as to why he would be triggered.

Ni-ki

Green (The World) Someone very cultured and has lots of experience. He would want someone who has accomplished a lot that would be his green flag. If he has seen, they traveled the world and did a lot of things he would like that. He likes someone who gets things done. Also, someone very understanding of the world and knowledgeable about a lot of things. Like he would be an aww of their vast knowledge about life and things in general.

Yellow (Page of Pentacles) He may not like someone who is too cautious and to slow to do things. This also shows someone inexperienced in a sense. Dude would need to date someone older I guess, because being experienced and getting a lot sh** done is important to him. He may also not like someone who is unsure of themselves either.

Red (King of Pentacles) He wouldn't want someone heavily focused on making money, someone stubborn and too set in their ways. He wouldn't want someone to materialistic and grounded. And that they take things/life way too seriously. Someone too practical and safe and that they don't have much fun or ability to be spontaneous.

So, there that is, nothing too wild there for them, most seem reasonable. Some are questionable and a bit toxic, but nothing too surprising and crazy to me from what I have gotten from them in the past.

[cloverapple]

Shifting FAQ and why you need to calm the FAQ down

“Can I script that—”

Yes.

“Can I shift to a reality where—”

Yes.

“Is permashifting possible?”

Yes.

“I’ve been trying for x amount of years—”

The time passed already. Focus on here and now.

“Will X happen if I script Y?”

Whatever you script will happen exactly how you want it to.

“Can I shift without any methods?”

Yes. There are infinite ways to shift = Infinite ways to go about something that is instant.

“I’ve tried everything—“

Except fully trusting yourself, since you’re still dwelling on your shifting journey from a place of lack.

“Do I need to believe 100% to shift?”

No. You just need to allow it. Doubt doesn’t stop you, resistance does.

“Is shifting, like, REALLY real?”

Yes.

“But my blockages—“

You’re not a clogged drain. There’s nothing blocking something that happens naturally.

“My subconscious doesn’t believe in my affirmations—“

Oh, my bad. I didn’t realize affirming was the only way to manifest. Sooo, what should I do with this whole bag of feeling my way into my DR, visualization, subliminals, SATs, askfirmations, scripting, channeling, daydreaming, meditating, embodying the state, living in the end, inner conversations, mental rehearsals, literally just vibing, and doing absolutely nothing because sometimes that works too? Should I just toss all that in the trash? Light it on fire? Bury it in the backyard? Cool, good to know.

“Can I shift while I’m tired? While I’m sad? While I’m stressed?”

Yes, yes, and yes. Emotions don’t block shifting. If anything, they help.

“Why haven’t I shifted yet?”

That’s like asking why the sun isn’t rising when you know it’s just beneath the horizon. You know it’s coming, you know it can break through any second, but you keep staring at the dark like the world is ending.

“How do I figure out what I need to do?”

The only person in this universe who knows the answer to that question is you, yet you doubt yourself so much, you mistrust yourself so much, that it’s like whatever your subconscious is telling you goes in one ear and out the other.

“But NOTHING works for me 😭”

Okay, listen—in the gentlest, most kindergarten-teacher voice possible—shifting is like 10% processes that “work for you” or not and 90% trust and letting go. If you can’t trust yourself, cool, trust your undeniable ability to shift. If that feels like a stretch, trust your subconscious (it’s been running the show since forever, give it some credit). Still not there? Trust the outcome. Trust something, anything. And then? LET. GO. RELAX. Like, actually unclench your jaw and stop treating shifting like it’s a piece of raw chicken and you a dog that has not eaten in *checks watch* 2 minutes.

Because if you’re over here sobbing, whining “nothing works for meeeee,” that tells me two things:

A) You don’t trust anything, which, surprise surprise, makes shifting a little difficult. B) Something does work for you. There’s a sweet spot, a method that clicks—but you haven’t found it because you approach every process with fear instead of fun, frustration instead of curiosity, anxiety instead of chill.

Imagine slipping into the driver’s seat of a car you know how to drive, but you’re bawling, panicking, flailing around like the steering wheel’s out to get you. You’re gonna hit a pedestrian. THE PEDESTRIAN IS YOU.

People forget that shifting is as limitless as you are. Shifting is you. Shifting has no rules. You have no rules. So why are you boxing shifting in? Why are you boxing yourself in? Why are you creating problems for something infinite? Why are you stepping into the identity of a finite being when you have the power to shift realities?

You weren’t born with limits. You were taught them. Conditioned to believe that things have to be hard, that you have to struggle, that you need to earn what’s already yours. But shifting doesn’t play by those rules, and neither do you. The only limits are the ones you keep dragging along with you.

“I’m quitting shifting. I still can’t shift even though I’ve tried XY and Z⏤”

This is you:

Side note: If you’ve read all this and you’re still frustrated, overwhelmed, confused, and sitting there like “I don’t know what to dooooo 😩”

Take. A. Break.

A day? Cool.

A week? Even better.

Two weeks? A whole month? Do it.

Take a break from shifting, from overthinking, from spiraling down every forum post and Reddit thread like it’s gonna reveal the secret of the universe. Because if you’ve hit that point where nothing sticks, every piece of advice goes in one ear and out the other, every answer feels wrong, and you’re waiting for some magical piece of advice to make you shift, guess what? You need to calm the FAQ down.

Maybe your brain’s flashing red lights like “WARNING: SYSTEM OVERLOAD” and you’re out here ignoring it, treating frustration and exhaustion like it’s another problem to fix instead of a big ol’ sign that your mind needs a nap and a snack.

Let it chill. Recharge. You’re not losing progress; you’re just giving your brain a breather so when you come back, shifting feels like fun again, not a chore.

[star-nett]

──⃝─⃝⃝⃝⃝─

˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦˚ . ★⋆.

☆ Prioritize and Learn your DR-self ☆

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{Where focus goes, energy flows. Take what resonates, leave what does not 🖤}

- note: I use Harry Potter and the MCU realities as examples through this! A majority of us know basics of those places— it makes it easier for me to make examples in this b word.

Summary: Going over the importance of your DR-self and how to truly connect to yourself. Includes deep questions to think about <3

Key Terms: DR (Desired Reality), CR (Current Reality)

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Nothing is more important than you <3

*I say with a smirk, twirling my hair.*

Focus on yourself/DR SELF more than ANYTHING ELSE!! I STAND ON THIS ONE!! TEN TOES DOWN RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOWWWW.

Your DR Isn’t Your DR Without Who?? YOU!

This is your time to have main character syndrome—hell, you ARE the most important character in your story! Why focus on you? It’s way easier to connect with yourself than trying to visualize every detail of your DR. You know yourself better than anyone. Use that to your advantage! Raw dog yourself dude

But lemme clock something ‼️ Truly connecting to your DR self is a lot more than just reading over a script and answering brain-dead questions like "What's my name? My age?" Like wowww, we get it.. we know. Wowwwwww— Instead, the goal is to embody and align. To close the gap. To truly become your DR self through thought, emotion, and perspective.

Deep Dive: Exploring Your DR Self ☆

Traits:

What are your core personality traits in your DR?

Are you brave, compassionate, witty, analytical?

Example: If you’re brave, is it “I can kill a spider with a shoe” brave, or “I’ll face down a Death Eater/alien army” brave? How Brave are you really? Can people rely on your bravery?

Thoughts and Reactions:

How do you react in your DR? What Level do you operate at?

Example: You're making Amortentia (love potion) in class, everyone wants to know what it smells like. They are bothering you. Pestering you. How do you react? Are you Calmer in your DR? Hot-headed? Do you laugh it off?

Growth:

Who are you in your DR, and how have you grown?

What challenges have shaped you? How do you handle conflict differently in your DR?

Your DR Self is an Extension of You

If your DR self feels a lot like "you" (CR self) with subtle difference that fit the narrative of your DR, that's okay! Think of your DR self not as someone new, but as you in a different context. It’s still you—just shaped by the events, experiences, and circumstances of your DR. So for the sake of example, some Marvel context. {Focus on Emotional immersion, shifting isn't just about forcing yourself to think differently-- its about feeling differently. Immerse in the emotions of your DR life.}

Example time:

What does it feel like to walking into the Avengers compound and know you belong?

Feel the Pride after using abilities to save someone, or the adrenaline of a mission. Speaking of abilities, if you use magic.. Do your hands move like Wanda? Agatha?

How does being an Avenger or Hero challenge or inspire you? How does your comfort character help you grow? Or do they help show a new side of yourself?

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Don’t Overthink—Seriously.

I know, i just told you not to overthink, and then dumped LIKE A BILLION THINGS to OVERTHINK about— BUT BABY WAIT— here’s the thing: you don’t have to focus on everything I mentioned.

All of these points are just different tastes—little prompts to help you connect with your DR self. You don’t need to answer every question or dive into every example. Even picking just one of these ideas can lead you down the right path. That’s the whole point.

The goal is to delve deep and feel your DR self. Get into their mindset, match their energy, and align with their frequency. One thought, one emotion, or one detail is enough to bridge that gap. Keep it simple, and let it flow naturally.

☆ I’ll Leave You With This ☆

If you were to sit down with your CR self (my worst nightmare), you could probably talk for hours about the things that make you, you. Maybe you eat yogurt with forks (I do), your favorite color is pink, you can’t stand loud noises, you’re afraid of the ocean, or you secretly love pop music but hate certain smells. And let’s be real—your quirks, your traumas, your little joys? Those are what make you human.

You’re doing the exact same thing with your DR self. You’re getting to know their quirks, fears, loves, and unique traits. Because at the end of the day, you’re not just creating some untouchable fantasy version of yourself—you’re real. Your DR self is real. They’ve had real experiences, just like you’ve had in your CR.

So, when you’re exploring who they are, think about their humanly unique quirks. What makes them smile? What challenges them? What weird little habits or traits do they have that make them you?

You’re not creating a stranger or a perfect ideal. You’re reconnecting with a version of yourself who’s already out there living in the DR. They’re not some far-off, unreachable dream. They’re you.

Ho did you just focus on yourself? Yk what? Hell yeah

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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{Another post down!! I hope this was somewhat helpful?? I struggle to organize my thoughts sometimes! I’m all over the place when I write 😭}

Next post teaser: Making shifting easier to understand 🫶🏻