#wrote this a while ago. but. it feels relevant rn

[weirdkidshere]

In honor of the Chris & Buck reunion. May I humbly offer my Chris-centric fic about his relationship with Buck:

Synonyms by borkalius on ao3

“So why don’t you call him Dad?”

“What?”

Christopher was sitting in the grass in the yard, eating his lunch perfectly peacefully, when his new friend Penny asked him that. It was so sudden and out of the blue, that the question didn’t even register for a moment.

“If he’s like a dad to you, and he’s family and all that jazz, then why don’t you call him dad? Haven’t you ever wanted to?”

OR

Everyone knows (or thinks they know) that Chritopher Diaz has two dads. But he doesn't have two Dads. He has a Dad and a Buck.

No one seems to understand the difference.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

I've never watched pretty little liars but tell me about your favourite pll femslash.

Hi I think I wrote half of a response to this a while ago but it got lost somewhere… starting over so I’m such a multi shipper between the pll women that I think it would be more appropriate to tell you my top 5 rn.

Vandermarin —- (Hanna Marin & Mona Vanderwaal)

I tried to choose pics from the pll wiki gallery for each of these dynamics I thought encapsulated the dynamic and its gayness as well as two random images can. In this case the image on the left is Mona lovingly visiting Hanna in the hospital after Mona herself drove a car over Hanna, because they fought/Mona is jealous that Hanna has affection for people who are not her and also Hanna was too close to uncovering her identity as A the nameless faceless entity that badly wants Hanna to break up with her boyfriend and leave her friends and only hang out with Mona but we’re meant to think Mona is straight…. and the right image is after Hanna has found out Mona’s identity at the evil mastermind to her troubles but she’s still visiting her ex wife in the mental asylum, and lying to her boyfriend about it and the show plays every beat of this like Hanna is cheating on her boyfriend. Insane. They’re the love story of pll because literally if Mona wasn’t obsessively unhealthily in love with Hanna the whole plot of the show would not have happened. An undersung toxic yuri queerbait for the history books I seriously think it’s deeply misogynistic they don’t get their due in this department. 

Spemily (Spencer Hastings & Emily Fields).

This is so funny to me because these two images perfectly encapsulate the dynamic. Either they are soo in sync getting coffee for each other and detecting murders together and stabilizing/calming each other, or they are having the Messiest fights and bickering/getting on each others nerves like a married couple going through their third divorce. I joke about them being adansey coded for this reason, also there’s a dynamic of a class difference and Emily/Adam call out Spencer/Gansey for it similarly and Spencer/Gansey being protective towards Emily/Adam in a way the latter doesn’t like or feels infringes on their autonomy. Great stuff, I have a type. And speaking of..

Monison (Mona Vanderwaal & Alison Dilaurentis)

There are other gay pictures of them interacting but I chose the left image as Mona cleaning the dirt off Alison, the girl who bullied her, after pulling her out of a grave (Alison was buried alive this night and it’s a whole thing but not really relevant to this post) and they’re in a motel in the lost woods. There’s another scene from this flashback that’s Mona kissing Alison’s forehead but I can’t find a cap anywhere (I also couldn’t find a cap of her kissing Hanna’s cheek the homophobia). The one on the right is Mona’s shrine to Alison that’s in her evil lair girl literally was so obsessed with and in love with girl who bullied her and wanted to wear her skin and also for her to stop existing and also to be loved by her and then she made the love of her life Hanna into her own personal Alison doll… wild stuff. They’re also a bit adansey coded imo (and Hanna/Alison didn’t make this list but they’re rather Jordanessy coded imo). They’re also really gay for each other on the spin off which is not a good show but did give me crumbs. 

Spona (Spencer Hastings & Mona Vanderwaal)

Sometimes / in the past this has been no.3 I’m just in a very Monison mood rn so it’s fourth rn. The left image is of their psychosexually charged debate scene and the right is Mona trying to get Spencer’s attention at a political rally. Will say no enough of their really gay scenes are appropriately represented in that wiki gallery but I did the best with what I had. Overachiever x Overachiever but one is an evil mirror of the other,  the actresses have a ridiculous amount of chemistry, there’s a whole arc where Mona wants to corrupt Spencer and is furious when Spencer “turns her down” and seeks to ruin her life so she has no choice to accept her… another toxic yuri of all time. They’re also my two favorite characters on the show individually (although I love all six of the main women) so that gives an extra something special to their scenes for me. 

Arison (Aria Montgomery & Alison Dilaurentis)

left image is a flashback to them eating frozen yogurt together while bullying Mona, right is Aria’s hallucination of Alison that she has when her father’s girlfriend who looks a bit like Alison and who Alison wanted Aria to tell her mother about Byron’s affair with poisons her, again sadly there were fewer images in the gallery for them but. This is a really fascinating relationship to me and one I wrote a fic about that Imran quite proud of when I first got into pll a couple years ago. Aria is the only one of Alison’s friends she treats kind of as an equal rather than a subject or a rival, she’s very fascinated by the way Aria lives freely rather than at the whims of other people and Alison develops an alter ego that looks a lot like Aria, Vivia Darkbloom. She also gets into a relationship with an older guy while acting a lot like Aria and then this same guy (who is a predator and groomer but the show never addresses these dynamics as such L) goes after Aria after Alison’s death. Also Alison secretly took pictures of Aria while she was sleeping and hid them places and when they were uncovered her brother makes a comment about how Alison always hid things and it was almost second nature to her don’t remember the exact quote but it reeks of internalized biphobia to me (Alison is canonically a bi character it’s just that the show defines her as only gay for one girl which is Emily and straight for everyone else which is insane but we won’t get into that). Anyway. They’re really underrated and interesting. 

some honorable mention ships that I also love a lot: Sparia (Spencer x Aria, if I had done this a few months ago do think they would have a shot at top 5 I really love them), Spanna (Spencer x Hanna), Hannily (Hanna x Emily), Spalison (Spencer x Alison), Monaria (Mona x Aria), Emison (Emily x Alison this one is canon), Emaya (Emily x Maya also canon), Emona (Emily x Mona), Halison (Hanna x Alison), Aria x Jenna, Emily x Jenna, Aria x Alex Drake.

[lwt28brave]

LT2 masterpost

If it was up to me, we would get an autumn or winter EP. Since it’s not up to me at all, here, enjoy this post with everything we know so far of LT2, which is to say, not much at all. Everything here is hypothetical. I’ll be updating every time I see something relevant. A little disclaimer that while this is a masterpost (kinda), it could be read as discourse (duh, it’s also a theory), AND it’s also by me, and you shouldn’t expect me to be serious at this point.

Due to me restraining myself, there’s no reference to any of the times he’s mentioned his guitar skills and him improving but I hope you know I cried every single time.

I’m also linking my old pinned here. It was written before AFHF and around the free merch thing that didn’t lead to much, but I still think I made some good points.

Possible tracks:

Copy of a Copy of a Copy

Change

Faith in the future??

369??

Possible names:

369

Faith in the future

When is the album coming out?

Your guess is as good as mine

Friday 28th of January 2022. Almost two years after Walls. It’s a Friday. It’s a 28th. What else can I say?

Here you can find @want-to-be-loved timelines for every month.

Here you can find @berlinini’s timeline of what Louis has been up to this year (2021).

The rest is under the cut. And here you can find a PDF version where Tumblr can't tell me how many pictures I can add.

2020

He said back on May 2th 2020 he wasn’t writing anything new yet.

(x)(x)(x)

Interestingly enough, he’s said many times after that that the album’s not ready cause he has no new experiences to drawn from. I won’t call him out because he does it himself.

May 4th. He liked a tweet from DMA’s Johnny Took saying they had to go write together again. Louis has been credited as an influence for them and (kind of) participated in their previous record, so I’m assuming he meant for their music and not his, but you never know.

Nothing(literally nothing??? how did we survive) until 11th of July. We all know what happened that day. We all celebrated it. Nonetheless, that’s not what I’m talking about here.

(x) So, by the beginning of July 2020 he was working on concepts and ideas for the new album. That was fifteen months ago. I know perfection takes time but…

Brief summary of important things that happened from then until the next mention of new music:

Louis left Syco!!!! 10 days later he rescheduled the tour for the first time. He followed Matt Vines on Twitter, probably so we could publicly shame him into doing something. Also, the 10thanniversary. He followed more people I wish he hadn’t.

Then more nothing until September. Not even a single tweet. The first merch drop was on the 28th of August but he just RT’ed the tweet. He first mentioned Free my Meal on the 25th of September. Then on October 1st Walls hit #1 on a lot of countries and Louis was incredibly happy and excited about it ^^

And then, that same day, October 1st, 2020, he dropped this bomb:

(x)

He also said it was too soon to be sharing new lyrics with us (x)

And, obviously, this tweet which is actually what made me start this whole post. I would hope you know mate.

(x)

He also told us he was cooking "banger after banger" and that he was incorporating more social themes into his music (x)(x) (I believe any social issue is a political issue but that’s not the point rn).

COPY OF A COPY OF A COPY?!?!

These next paragraphs are brought to you by my mind not remembering things and me not having any links. I’m assuming COACOAC came from those writing sessions that supposedly happened in October. Or in LA but I have no idea if he actually was in LA at any point other than a Daily Mail article putting him there on December which would have been too late, but I do remember that someone said he was in the studio in LA last autumn???? A rumor. Maybe. IDK. Did I mention already all of this is very hypothetical?? Well, this is it. I can’t even remember if this was October or November or what. So, take this with a grain of salt.

I’m also… taking the liberty to assume, if you must, that Copy wasn’t meant to be a Walls reject because it sounds more mature and darker and it has a vastly different tone that Walls songs. I know he’s said that song probably isn’t getting into the album, but I want to have faith (in the future) that I’m getting a studio version. (But also, Louis, if you’re reading this, first of all GET OUT OF MY BLOG second of all, please don’t ever feel pressured again to add a song to the album because we have already heard it before. It’s your art and it should always be under your own terms).

So yeah, I believe that Copy is either one of those four songs (then imagine the other three??!!) or was written around the 1st of October date.

---End of the Intermission---

Then not much important (other than sharing more about Marcus Rashford fight against food poverty and the 2nd merch drop) until he announced the livestream on the 24th of November. (x)

It wasn’t until a few days before the livestream date we even thought again about new music (jk, I know we’re always thinking about new Louis’ music). So, December 9th/10th, 2020. Nine months ago. We got our first taste of new music!

He made sure we knew Copy of a Copy of a Copy isn't a cover! (x) (x)

(x)

Ok, so that’s it for 2020. (I feel like I’m missing something from September 17th because tweet was deleted but maybe he was still talking about cucumbers. We might never know. Unless I understand how Tumblr tags work). Expected, cause Walls was released in 2020. We needed to let it sit for a while.

2021

Another Summary: Louis third tweet of the year was telling the UK government off. So was the fifth. What a good beginning. On the 26th of January, he said he prefers pancakes over waffles. I hope he meant pancakes other than his own. More importantly, he tweeted the infamous “you lot read into things too much”. Don’t get me started, Tomlinson. Don’t. Then the 31st came around and Walls was one. He tweeted this. How wise. And Project Defenceless happened!!

15th of February!! Who cares about Valentine Day when the next day we got this? ♥

(x)

(x)

So…AN EP?? AN EP?? PLEASE RELEASE AN EP.

“I’m sure I will have something out this year but unlikely that will be the album”. Unlikely but not impossible. Also. A single would be good. This is the second time he mentions releasing something in 2021 and he sounds surer about it than the first time around.

He also said that he isn’t sure we will get a studio version of Copy. And that the best bridges from Walls to LT2 are Walls, OTB, KMM and Copy. Can’t wait!

Then we jump to March 6th when he announced he was going to create his own management company. “Sometimes action is needed first to encourage the motivation and belief”. As we can tell he was already manifesting some stuff which will lead us to the numerology stuff/Tesla… kidding. Or not. We might never know.

On the 22nd of March he answered some questions:

He told us music was still his main focus ♥ mwha. (x) I included this tweet to guilt-trip him into giving us music in case he’s reading this even after I told him to leave. ILY.

(x) I’d love to get a visual EP this autumn. Just saying. It sounds like a lovely concept.

(x)

…next (I will get into it, I promise. I’m just mad).

On the 25th he left for Mexico until April 10th. You could assume it was just for the documentary where we got ten seconds of footage or admit the obvious: LT2 its a Mexican baby!!

On the 26th (so, not so far apart from that first 369) we got the first Faith in the Future mention: (x)

Back then we were innocent people who had no idea what was coming upon us. We still have no idea because what the fuck does he mean with these. Please explain. I have one braincell and I don’t use it enough for this. I’m linking some theories.

On the 30th of March he confirmed he was already working on the documentary. So AFHF was already on the works. Will it take this long for us to get the Veeps numbers? We also got this tweet: "Got a decent chorus idea down" (x).

Same person that got the “something out this year” exclusive. If you know something share with the class. Also. Is this Change? I feel like this could be Change but I also assume he wrote Change after hanging out with his friends or being in Doncaster. But who knows.

(x) And the second mention to 369.

(x) 15th of April. The second "Faith in the future".

On the 19th of April he announced that he had something BIG for us later on the year which turned out to be the Away From Home Festival ♥♥ (x) I love him so much.

Then on the 28th he announced the 369 merch drop (which it’s probably the Walls drop? Except that the TOU and KMM ones were “drop 1 and drop 2” and this was drop 369 which, again, makes no sense) but we still don’t know what 369 means.

Into May’ 21 we go.

He rescheduled tour again. And dropped another bomb (x).

He announced he has signed with BMG as an independent artist by RTing this tweet on May 10th. The article also says that he’s already working on writing and recording LT2. The timing… we don’t know. What this deal involves… we don’t know either. Bear with me here because I have a lot to say about this.

I think the deal is only a distribution one, but that BMG are interested in Louis and what he (us) could bring to the table. They were either present at the festival or watching it, but officially they had no involvement at all with it (everything is credited either to Louis own company, 78 Productions, or Charlie Lightening’s company). That’s the case for both giveaways too; the vinyl one and the tickets for the festival.

I think it would be an unbelievably bad move not to test the waters with BMG now or soon-ish. At least a single, to see how it performs. Due to the circumstances, it’s obvious there’re certain limitations on place but I want to see how they push it, whether the radio play exist this time around and if the song is playlisted and promoted and all that… I would also love to know, since it says he signed with BMG UK, but it also states it’s a global deal, how things are going to go on the US and other countries.

Yes, yes. I know those are all questions and no answers. But I know the same as you, sadly. If any of you know more than you’re letting on… again, share with the class.

Where was I? Yes, on the 25th of May Louis had a great day writing (x). Since the first time he had mentioned he was officially writing to this date there’s almost eight months. And I believe he was writing before October’ 20.

He followed Robert Harvey that day and, on the 28th of May (why is it always the 28th???) he was spotted at the studio for the first time.

June was an interesting month for the fandom ♥. Lots of LHL content which I will love and cherish for the rest of times. On June 4th, June 9th, and June 10th he was spotted at the studio, but I believe he was there more days.

(x)

This was posted on June 6th and captioned Studio. Charlie also shared it with “Mega tunes being put down, can’t wait for this @louist91 #louistomlinson #LT2” as the caption. This gives me 2019 (Elton-Joint) vibes. I like it. Feels like we’re getting closer to something.

He added the Milano date on the 9th too which I’m mentioning because I’m going alone. Anyone wanna go with me please? I’m nice and I never eat anything before a concert so you can have my food. On other news. It didn’t come home.

During July he was at the studio at least three days too. Probably more. Feels like more with all the fan pictures we got. Or was that June? Anyway, July 1st and 9th we got some videos from Robert Harvey and wearesuperhi, which is who Louis has been working with the most, that we know of. I don’t know for sure they’re from that day. And on July 5th we got an article and lots of pictures of Louis looking really good outside the studio.

On the 12th of July the first fans started getting the free, 369 bucket hat and print. We still don’t know what the purpose was other than to thanks fans. Maybe that was it. I want answers and I still think it relates to a future project (see theories above), but it could also just be a bridge with the Walls breaking.

He didn’t tweet about anything interesting for a while, mostly because he lost his phone (he either throwed it in the air or smashed it who knows). Then on the 29th of July he announced the festival!

I’m glossing over it because there’s already been a lot of talk about it (rightfully) and while it was a wonderful thing, it doesn’t have much to do with LT2.

Let’s talk Change!

On August 3rd he tweeted this about the setlist.

(x)

And this (x) on the 28th! I can’t stand him.

We didn’t get it, obviously. Because who was going to get that. But we read too much into things. Alright.

On the 16thof August Dave Gibson shared this post tagged #LT2 with the eyes emojis 👀👀👀. I believe this has to do both with Change but also with whatever else came out of that Mexico trip.

(x) Last relevant tweet related to LT2 is this one.

So, on the 30th of August we got Change and we cried, and we know that Change is going in the new album. He said it. With those exact words. He also said he was “getting a feeling for it”. This has to meant he already has a general idea of the vibe of the new album and what’s going in it!!!!!! (Right? RIGHT?).

Anyway, let’s go back a few weeks because some other things happened on August. He was at the studio a few more times. Or it was suggested that he was there. On the 17th and the 18th. (Why was it so time-pressing to be at the studio instead of rehearsing for the festival? There was no studio at all on the documentary. Which makes sense, but again, then why?).

On the day of the festival we got another mention of Faith in The Future that made me feel part of a cult ngl. The words were flashing on the screen for less than a second. Okay.

And then he tweeted those words again after watching the livestream/documentary on the 4th of September (x). This is what makes me suspect it's either the name of the album or of the single.

On the same day, we got some interesting quotes about LT2 on the documentary.

“Soon I’ll have to think about me second album, which in my head I’ll get the tour out of the way and then I’ll address that. So, I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest”.

“When every day is the same is hard to feel creative and it’s hard to have any kind of proper inspiration”.

“As season started to come back, I started writing again and it was great and some of these songs turned out alright”.

And I think this is it. I might be overlooking some important details but that’s what we know and what we don’t know.

So. Conclusions. That’s what you missed on Glee. I do believe the album is, if not mostly done, partially there. And yes, this post is pointless and never-ending but it’s all in here if you need to tell Louis “Hey, you said this, mate”.

[carbootsoul]

erika+ephriam+lyon for ask game 👀? and a witch hat character of your choosing if you like as well :3v

omg clint you're spoiling me :) also this is mostly unrelated but i was listening to kat flint today and a) her music is so good thank u for introducing it to me years ago and b) VERY witch hat atelier vibes which was fun. im putting my answers under a cut bc i am sooo verbose about characters

eirika: a song that reminds me of them: this is just the first that came to mind but oh what a world by rufus wainwright! oh what a world my parents gave me / always traveling but not in love. the rly interesting mix of idealism and pragmatism that she embodies- both being in awe of and in love with the world and the people in it but also not hesitating to accept that they are in a war and the tragedies that come with it what they smell like: i think for most of the game she smells like sweat and dirt an otp: eirika and l'arachel is actually the best ship in the whole entire world they're sooo funny. they keep meeting and every time eirika is like ???? and l'arachel is just falling head over heels in love a notp: eirika and lyon romance honestly very textually relevant in the game and adds to the story and whatever but they're both so absolutely homosexual that i can't conceptualize it favorite platonic/familial relationships: eirika and ephraim 🥺🥺 but also eirika and seth he's such a good big brother figure!! but also eirika and colm and eirika and tana and eirika and lyon. it's like.. rag tag army as family.. a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: there are like two posts about her on tumblr dot com but her fire emblem heroes characterization makes me insane shut up about your brother shut up about your brother the position they sleep in: on her side one leg curled to her chest

ephraim a song that reminds me of them: omg lies by marina abt his relationship with lyon. you're too proud to say that you made a mistake / you're a coward till the end i really wish we had been able to see more of ephraims reaction to the true story of what happened with lyon, since he obviously forgives him but also seems to be angry about it and that's such a good dynamic. also oc can't let you go / i just want it to be perfect / to believe it's all been worth the fight. they make me... ugh what they smell like: he has also been living in tents for months so he probably also smells like horses and sweat an otp: ephraim and lyon do get to me... 🥺 also he and innes as a like teenage fling is hilarious to me they're so funny to each other i can't believe they don't have supports a notp: if i ever see another incest joke i'm killing someone favorite platonic/familial relationships: he and his sister are so good!! they're so siblings! a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: again i have never rly interacted with the fe fandom but something from canon i disagree with is the assignment of the sun to him and the moon to his sister he is so obviously the lunar twin im furious abt this the position they sleep in: absolutely sprawled out. he takes up as much space as is given to him

lyon a song that reminds me of them: ache with me by against me just happened to be playing rn but it's very him. do you share the same sense of defeat / have you realized all the things you'll never be / ideals turn to resentment, open minds close up with cynicism / i've got no judgement for you / come on and ache with me. what they smell like: roses but in a fucked up revolutionary girl utena way like the roses symbolize something sinister an otp: lyon and ephraim.. admittedly lyon is kind of carrying why this ship is compelling with his tragic backstory but ephraim is such a boy so he's important too a notp: see eirika :/ favorite platonic/familial relationships: he and eirika and ephraim as a unit are so important to me they are so [unintelligible] a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: i haven't rly seen this much but i guess any tendency to soft-boy him bc of his character design like this guy sucks a lot and he has a lot of flaws that almost ended the world :/ the position they sleep in: hugging a pillow

and for the wha character.. agott bc she's so girl :) a song that reminds me of them: pretty little things by the crane wives! but trust is now something i make people earn / so i'm not inclined to just give it away / to a pair of blue eyes with some nice things to say what they smell like: grass in the best way possible! an otp: she and coco are SO !! im in love with them. sasunaru dynamic but better in every way. all the panels of coco hugging or complimenting agott and agott blushing furiously are the new wonders of the world. shipping kids in media always feels a little weird but i think they're a rly cute like first crush dynamic a notp: i dont think she's been shipped with anyone else lol favorite platonic/familial relationships: agott and olruggio are rly interesting to me! i've probably just drawn lines between them because they're both grumpy but i could definitely see agott becoming for coco what olruggio is for qifrey and i love when children are friends with their adult narrative foil it's about helping the younger generation overcome the things that they couldn't! it's also about olruggio being able to connect with agott because they're both grumpy :) a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: not a headcanon bc again the fandom is tiny but so much of her tag is ppl being mean to her about what she did in the second (?) volume like yeah that was mean but she's like 12! 12 year olds do fucked up stuff all the time they're still learning what interpersonal relationships are the position they sleep in: on her stomach clutching her pillow a crossover au i’d love to see them in: anything that would allow her to say swear words my favorite outfit they’ve ever worn: the like single panel where tetia is getting mad at her about not liking wearing costumes and it shows her dressed as a prince! she looks so good

djskflj i feel like i wrote a novel about each of them and tbh i do not know if u will make any sense out of it but thank u for sending this it was super fun to think about them for a while!!!

[eternaldipshit]

alright i’m fuckin PISSED

i just made this blog yesterday to maybe possibly post a homestuck fic i’m working on but now i’m going to use it to scream into the utter fucking gaping void of the homestuck fandom bc none of my friends are actively in it right now and god dammit i am UPSET

fact: i got a lotta feelings for the striders. they are my shit. i adore them. ok? so that’s an established fact now ok good cool moving on 

fact: when game over was released, i quit the homestuck fandom. that shit broke me. even if it wasn’t the “alpha” timeline or w/e it still fucking happened and it upset my delicate fucking sensibilities and hearing carne vale STILL triggers some sort of visceral feeling of panic and straight-up fuckin MISERY in me and i wish i was fucking kidding but i just put it on now to test it and ugh ugh gughgsh

fact: i started rereading homestuck this month from the beginning and reigniting my love for it. game over still fucked me up, but i powered through it and 5 years fuckin late i finished a harrowing emotional rollercoaster that i’d started like 7 years ago and was just... DEEPLY fucking unsatisfied with the ending which is why i started writing aforementioned fic in the first place but that is not relevant rn this is a whole different rant ok

fact: i wrote like 20k words for this fic in the span of like 3 days it was sick as fuck

fact: the epilogues are dumb as fuck and i despise them 

and that’s the meat of it really. fuck the epilogues. 

i haven’t finished them yet, but i just. ugh. UGH. words escape me. partially bc im a shit wordsmith but also bc *SPOILERS* i just got to dirk’s funeral scene and just fuckin. gave the fuck up. 

i never liked the original homestuck ending to begin with, but i never expected that the epilogues would be so fucking... bleak. it’s like reading a shitty fanfic except all the fun is sucked out of it bc technically all the shit you’re reading is canon and that makes it all seem drab and unfunny and just kinda depressing 

especially in the i guess ‘doomed’ timeline where dirk kills himself 

idk if it hit me hard bc of the flippant treatment of suicide or if it’s just bc i love dirk so much as a character but it just hurt in so many different fucking ways

it doesn’t help that the epilogues paint dirk as a straight up fucking sociopath

and i can see why that would make sense, really. his expanding godhood powers played into his pre-existing sociopathic tendencies in the worst way possible but

it’s just

not what i want to imagine from a fucking epilogue

call me soft and an idealist but i like my happy endings god dammit and fuck FUCK FUCK the epilogues. i want to try to finish them but it’s just. fucking difficult. 

i think the suicide was the last straw for me and now that i think about it it’s definitely bc of my own suicidal ideation and this is exactly why i avoided that stupid fucking show about the girl killing herself no matter how many times it was recommended to me bc i consume media to distract myself from my problems not have them blared in my face in neon lights 

i also fucking hate how dirk’s character morphed from a manipulative as hell genius who constantly struggled with his own morality to this kind of puppeteer who is flagrantly detached from his peers and seems to hold no real attachment to any of them it’s just

it’s shitty

and i was so excited for it bc i thought it would grant me more insight into dirk’s and dave’s characters, considering the fic i’m writing is strider-centric and it just completely took the wind out of my sails instead bc this is not what i pictured for dirk at all 

i mean i’m not a fucking idiot. i know he’s an asshole and an ‘ends justify the means’ guy and definitely manipulative and controlling but this is also the guy that cut off his own head to save all of his friends and tried his best to comfort dave when he was having a breakdown despite his own supposed lack of empathy

and i want so badly to continue my fic like i never read this but i can’t ignore it bc it’s fucking CANON. and i know my biffle would be like ‘fuck canon’ but i can’t fuck canon ok it’s the reason these characters exist in the first place. i might rewrite the whole ending but i wanted to stay as true to canon characterization as poss and now i just. can’t. 

the real kicker is that i was willing to look past the reveal that he was the narrator the whole time, controlling the lives of all the characters even if it literally gave me goosebumps bc it put that whole ‘jake keeps thinking about dirk while jane kisses him’ thing into a new disturbingly unromantic light but i ignored that too. i switched to the other path for a bit and i knew from the minute it switched to the scene where dirk’s hands are shaking and he calls jane i KNEW he would kill himself but i convinced myself otherwise and surprise surprise got my ass handed to me on a silver platter for it

but i cannot i CANNOT believe he would do that to dave. i flat-out refuse. i flat-out fucking refuse to believe that dirk could be so cruel as to leave them all behind in such a crass fashion and how DARE he do that to dave how fucking dare he doomed timeline or not that dude’s been through enough shit like come the fuck ON and decapitating himself??? that’s not poetic fucking justice that is just straight up cruel af and i know these are all fictional chars and this whole scenario is fictional but it is SO UPSETTING TO ME bc that is the EXACT thing you think about before a suicide attempt you think about what it would do to your loved ones and i absolutely irrefutably fucking REJECT the idea that dirk is so far-gone in his godhood puppet game that it wouldn’t even cross his fucking mind and it is just so much worse to me that dave is the one who found the body and i know dirk isn’t a ‘good’ guy but ugh UGH it’s like they just threw out his whole fucking conversation with dave where it’s obvious that he tries to be a better person even tho he knows he’s an asshole and it’s just.

fucking upsetting. 

i hate hate hate what they’ve done to dirk’s character in this it’s like they took all the struggle and all the growth from the adventure and all the nuances and just boiled it down to make a caricature of the person he used to be, emphasizing the negatives so that the epilogues could have this weird fucking quasi-villain dictating everyone’s lives 

why do these epilogues even exist

no one is going to read this but i am just so full of righteous indignation that i needed to get it off my chest. i was so hyped to be back into homestuck again, so excited to see what more it had to offer and this just. ruined all that joy for me. and now i’m afraid i’m just going to fall right back out of it again. 

what the fuck is the opposite of a redemption arc bc that is exactly what the fuck happened here. 

anyway tl;dr i love returning to a fandom i haven’t touched in 5 years and finding out one of my fav chars just got narratively butchered yeah i’m fine it’s cool 

[macgyvermedical]

“Let’s Get to it, Nature Boy” a “Lidar+Rogues+Duty” Medical Review

A lot of times I sit down to write these reviews and think something like “wow, there’s a lot to unpack here.” Fortunately for this review, the only thing I thought was that somewhere an NSA agent is definitely going to have to read this because of all the alarming keywords. Hope they like clavicles.

Let’s get to it. Spoilers ahead.

The main story centers around Mac and Desi going on a mission to recover the body of LCDR Robert Reese, an old friend of Mac’s who was presumed dead when his plane crashed in an unauthorized part of Azerbaijan. While there they find that Reese is still alive, though injured, and that a group of American CIA operatives has found a cache of white phosphorus-based chemical weapons which they intend to sell on the black market. Mac and Desi manage to subdue the operatives using homemade tranq darts, prevent the white phosphorus from ending up in the wrong hands, and get Reese back home safely.

The main medical situations in the episode include Mac’s diagnosis and field treatment for Reese’s fractured clavicle, the potential use of white phosphorus as a chemical weapon, and the morphine darts.

A little spoiler for you, the morphine darts are what I’m mad about this week.

The Clavicle:

But let’s start with that clavicle break. The clavicle is the thin bone that makes up the front part of the shoulder, attaching at the shoulder joint and sternum. A broken clavicle is a pretty common sports injury and occurs when the patient falls either directly on the outside of the shoulder, or falls on their hand or forearm and the force travels upward. Due to how close the bone is to the surface, if the bone segments are displaced, deformity from the break is often visible or palpable (feel-able). 

^^The bump is where one of the ends of the bone segments pushed over the other. Euagh.

It’s entirely possible that Reese fell onto his shoulder or forearm when he detached his seat from the parachute, so this (or anything consistent with a fall) is a pretty expected injury. While most remote first aid guides would tell you to sling the arm or wrist (slinging the wrist only takes pressure off the shoulder and reduces pain), the splint Mac makes for it- a version of a “figure eight” splint- is also a real way of splinting a clavicle fracture. The figure eight splint would work much the same way it does in the episode, pulling the outer (distal) part of the clavicle up and back and putting/keeping it in a reasonable place to heal. It would also have the advantage over a simple sling of leaving the affected arm free and somewhat usable (though still not weight-bearing)- something that would be important in a remote and hostile environment.

The thing I’ll nitpick about this scene is the fact that Mac seems to know immediately without looking that Reese has a clavicle fracture, where the break is, and the best way to treat it. Reese was holding his arm awkwardly, looked like he was in pain, reported that he was banged up, and Mac knew that he’d recently fallen out of a tree. Together those would still only point to a shoulder injury, without specifics. Mac would still have to look at it (like, skin level look at it) and probably touch it to know it was a clavicle fracture (and not, say, a dislocation or other fracture) before splinting it.

I understand a lack of assessment was a decision likely made for time’s sake, but assessment is a really, really important part of the process- and it would have made a significant difference in treatment. A figure-eight splint is only helpful when the break is in the middle or closer (proximal) third of the bone, because the strap has to go somewhere that’s not directly over the break. A day after the injury, where they would have been in the episode, there might have been significant swelling and bruising which might make it difficult to know where the break is, and if that figure eight splint would be appropriate.

I probably would have gone with the sling either way, but I see why they did the figure eight (both from a cool TV thing(TM) standpoint and for mobility). Its the lack of assessment that’s the problem, not the intervention for once.

White Phosphorus:

I’m sure you all know the feel when your primary (academic) fascinations in life are toxicology and chemical weapons, so you’re constantly paranoid that you’re one google search or tumblr post away from a SWAT team showing up at your apartment.

About 3 years ago I did a lot of internet research on white phosphorus in order to write a Criminal Minds tag that followed up an episode where a character was tortured with white phosphorus salve (please excuse the minor errors in hospital realism, I had not yet graduated nursing school when I wrote it), and I was really excited that this episode might give me reason to talk about what I learned.

I guess it didn’t exactly, but I’m going to talk about it anyway.

White Phosphorus (known from here on out at WP) is a waxy, yellowish substance useful as a chemical weapon because of its versatility and plethora of uses other than terrorism. It doesn’t occur naturally, but is created and used extensively in industry as a necessary component in the production of fertilizer, cleaning chemicals, munitions, (illegal) fireworks, older rat and cockroach poisons, and certain food additives. Most common exposures are due to industrial spills, not terrorism.

WP can contaminate food, water, and soil as particles, or air as smoke. Eating or drinking contaminated food or water can cause severe gastrointestinal distress and fatal damage to the kidneys, liver, and heart in doses of about 50-100mg. Breathing the smoke can cause airway irritation and coughing, but is rarely if ever fatal at typical concentrations. Exposure to intact skin is also usually not thought to cause lasting damage, though as you’ll see in the next paragraph, that doesn’t happen often.

Another way WP can enter the body, and probably more relevant in the context of its use as a chemical weapon, is through burn wounds. WP tends to burn or explode on contact with any air above 86F (30C), and can cause extensive partial and full-thickness burns. The burns may have a characteristic yellow wound bed, and can pose a hazard to both the patient and rescuers due to the fact that unspent WP particles in the wounds can spontaneously re-ignite. Wounds must be kept damp until the patient is decontaminated to avoid re-ignition of the particles, and the careful use of copper sulfate or silver nitrate as an antidote can make the decontamination process a lot safer and easier.

Note that I don’t recommend googling this unless you have an exceptionally high tolerance for human suffering.

Instead, enjoy these curated pictures:

Picture “A” is of the yellow wound beds, and “B” is all the unspent WP glowing under a UV light. 

The WP passes readily through the burn-damaged tissue, and if the patient survives the burns themselves, can still cause fatal damage to the kidneys, liver, and heart.

Before we move on, I would like to point out one last particularly horrifying aspect of WP poisoning: It does not kill quickly. Initial symptoms of severe gastrointestinal distress may last up to 8 hours, after which a latent period similar to the kind seen in radiation poisoning lasts for about 3 days. Organ failure then develops, which if severe, usually results in death unless dialysis and a liver transplant can happen fast enough.

Tying this back in, you can see why the team didn’t want this getting into the wrong hands.

Morphine Darts

So now we’re finally here at the fun part. And by fun I mean... well, poorly portrayed?

Because honestly? Morphine could take these guys out, or at least make it difficult for them to fight, which would accomplish the goal of leveling the field a little. The problems in this scene lie, as they usually do in TV, in:

The route of administration-

Repeat after me, kids: If you are chucking a needle at someone, you’re hoping against hope to hit a muscle. Did I say “neck needle” anywhere in that sentence? Good. You should know how I feel about them by now.

I know they were going for the needle to have hit the exterior jugular, delivering the dose of morphine IV and therefore making it reasonable that the person could be quickly subdued afterwards without alerting his friends to the guy running around chucking needles at people. To give you an indication of how difficult it would be to do this, however, placing a 18g IV catheter into the exterior jugular (placing an “EJ”) is something RNs are not allowed to do in hospitals because there’s too much room for error. No one, not even MacGyver, could reliably throw something 20 ft and hit the EJ perfectly.

Plus, there’s a lot of really important things in your neck that you don’t want to just forcefully stick needles in randomly. While insulin needles are very small, it would still be safer and more effective and reliable to stick them in large muscles like the thigh or butt, which can also take considerably higher volumes of medication without injury.

The dose-

The validity of the needle chucking contraption notwithstanding, the needles they use in the scene are U100 insulin needles (not exclusive to insulin, that’s just what they’re called), meaning if you filled the entire syringe, the total volume would be only 1ml. Morphine comes in IV concentrations up to 15mg/ml. The most filled syringe I saw in this whole scene was to about the 0.15ml mark, so even assuming they used the frankly ridiculously high concentration of 15mg/ml, that would only be about 2.25mg/dose.

I say “only” because the starting dose of morphine for acute pain clocks in at around 4mg for otherwise healthy people. How much of an impact morphine has has a lot to do with size and tolerance, too. Some of the antagonists in this scene were big enough they probably wouldn’t have been knocked off balance by (or possibly even felt) 2.25mg, let alone felt “10 shots of vodka” as the scene suggests. At the peak of effectiveness, it might have given Desi a slight advantage in a fight, but wouldn’t have taken anyone down.

The time to onset/peak-

The last thing about these I’ll say before I step off (never!) is about the onset time. The “onset” is the length of time it takes, on average, for a drug to begin working, and the “peak” is when it is most effective. This is different between drugs and routes. Morphine’s IV onset is rapid (and at the speed this would have been pushed, probably would have made the person briefly dizzy and nauseated), but it still takes about 20mins to “peak”, so assuming Mac *did* impossibly manage to sink an EJ from 20 feet away and there was a high enough dose to do something, anyone in this scene would still have had plenty of time to alert others or fight before they were incapacitated. The best thing throwing a needle at someone in this scene would do is provide some distraction while Desi takes them out manually.

More realistically, morphine injected into the muscle takes at least 10 minutes for onset and up to an hour to peak and doesn’t have as rough of side effects, meaning overall that no matter the dose, morphine is a really poor choice for a tranq dart (but admittedly, if its what you’ve got, its what you’ve got. Also who decided just leaving it lying out in a supply closet was a good idea? The fact that it hadn’t been stolen yet is a miracle in itself.).

R E F E R E N C E S

So there you have it. If you liked this and want to take a look at other MacGyver reviews I’ve done, you can find them here: Awl - X-Ray + Penny - Duct Tape + Jack - CD + Hoagie Foil - Guts + Fuel + Hope - Wilderness + Training + Survival - Father + Bride + Betrayal

[Patreon] [Ko-Fi]

[urfavmurtad]

What are some things about Judaism and Christianity that you learned that surprised you? What about polytheistic religions like native american animism, Buddhism, Shinto and Jainism? Zoroastrians? Baha’i? Yazidi?

Anon this is… such an in-depth question! Idek where to begin here. Of all those religions, I have learned the most about Judaism since I stopped being religious. What I knew about Judaism prior to maybe 5 years ago was mostly just what Islam says about Judaism. Meaning, you know, from Adam to Moses, then it skips ahead to David/Solomon/Saul, then there are some brief mentions of Jonah and Ezekiel and that’s really it.

So I didn’t know a lot, and I wasn’t very interested in what I did know tbh. The only reason why I started reading the Bible is bc I wanted to compare it to the Quranic versions of the stories and see how much Mohammed fucked them up. And that was fun but I didn’t bother to look much further into Judaism past that. The Books of Kings and Chronicles, for example, I took one look at them, decided they were boring, and didn’t read them until only a couple of years ago. That’s when I first got into the whole Biblical history thing. I tried reading a book about how the Bible was put together and realized I didn’t know enough about the Bible itself to even begin.

I forced myself to read those four books and then some of the prophet books (side note: all of the female prophets were left out of Islam, I didn’t even know they existed. Damn it Mohammed!!!). And I’m glad I did, because it changed my whole view of the Jewish Bible. It’s a history book!! Like… that’s literally what it’s supposed to be, a (legendary) history of Israel/Judah, and every bad thing that happens to them is ascribed to YHWH getting pissed off at them, but then like my friend and her trash boyfriend he always forgives them and takes them back even tho they just go on to disappoint him again. The Bible is the world’s oldest and greatest self-drag!!!

Once I actually knew the general chronology of the Biblical kings and shit I could actually make my way through this book without getting confused (mostly). Highly recommend this one for beginners btw, there is a PDF online and it’s not overly long.

And damn… I know there’s some debate about certain elements of it like the exact nature of the “documentary hypothesis” but even just focusing on the stuff that people agree upon, I didn’t know any of it before reading this, beyond there being no evidence for the Exodus/the huge kingdom of Solomon etc. I also knew that early Judaism was a system where multiple gods existed but YHWH was just their patron god, but I didn’t fully understand the process in how he got conflated with El and became the god.

More relevant to this topic, though, I didn’t understand the history behind the Bible itself. Deuteronomy being written separately/earlier than the rest and the Bible claiming that it was “found” in the Temple after like 900 years in Josiah’s time… like I had never even heard of Josiah prior to a few years ago and here I am realizing that this bitch perpetrated fraud that would make Linda Taylor proud. Tf. AND, the whole thing with Judah being way, way less developed than Israel, and Israel was actually a multi-ethnic and prosperous society, but then after the Assyrians handed Israel its ass the Judeans were suddenly the top bitch in school and wrote the whole Bible to make their former northern neighbors out to be assholes?? Wow Team Israel tbh.

Then when you get to the time of the Babylonian Exile tho you have to feel a bit bad for the people of Jerusalem, like the Babylonians were uncommonly dickish even for their time and the ppl of the city were clearly traumatized tbh… a lot of the stories in the Bible, especially those believed to have been added only after the exile, make a hell of a lot more sense when you realize the huge changes occurring in Jewish society at the time. The transition from “there are lots of gods but YHWH is our god” to “YHWH is the god” is completely understandable when you realize that people were searching for some explanation as to why they had all been uprooted and thrown out of their homes, and the obvious explanation is that, yet again, they had pissed YHWH the fuck off by worshiping other gods.

I feel like both Christianity and Islam (but especially Islam) try to separate many of Judaism’s better-known stories from the context of ancient Israel/Judah itself, presenting them as more universal stories that apply to everyone, but tbh the whole over-arching story doesn’t work unless you look at it as a history written by and for Jews who were rebuilding their religion and society in a volatile period. I’m reading this rn and it’s relevant to that topic.

It’s truly a damn shame that pretty much like 0% of Muslims have been exposed to any of this tbh? I feel like almost all scholars of Biblical history come from non-Muslim countries. I have more feelings on this subject but let me answer the rest of your question. First of all, Christianity. I read the New Testament in full a couple of years ago as well. It was obviously way easier to read because the Gospels are all different versions of the same story and the rest is just supplementary material, basically. I think the text itself is pleasant and Jesus was a chill dude. I like him. And the whole… sequence of events made much more sense after I’d read the Book of Isaiah and realized that the authors of the Gospels were viewing Jesus in light of those prophecies. Revelation is a fascinating shrooms trip. The Acts of the Apostles were fun to read, but all the letters were just like w/e. More historically interesting (if they’re real) than interesting in terms of content. Though I do think some of the content in them is very nice, idk if people know this but Muslims think Paul was responsible for perverting the (non-existent) “real” Gospel of Jesus and paint him very poorly. But I dunno, the letters seemed fine to me.

Tbh I was surprised to see how different Islam’s version of Christianity/Christian stories is compared to the “real thing”. I don’t even mean his disastrous misconceptions of Christian theology but just like… with the stories Mohammed pulled from the Jewish Bible (and the Talmud–which I also enjoyed flipping through btw, it’s like a bunch of old guys yelling at each other in written form), he gets details wrong but the overall stories are basically the same. But with the Christian stories, barely anything in the Quran is from the Bible. I think I’ve said this before but like 90% of the stuff pulled from Christianity in Islam is about baby Jesus, not adult Jesus, and even that stuff isn’t from the Bible. It’s understandable when you realize that he was listening to these stories, not reading them, and just picked the ones he liked best… which happened to be later texts. That brings me to a subject that is near and dear to my heart:

Apocryphal texts bih. I love this shit, with full sincerity and zero irony. The weirder it gets, the better. I started out just reading the ones that made it into the Quran, like the Life of Adam and Eve, the Infancy Gospels that I’ve mentioned before, and the Testament of Solomon. Then some Gnostic stuff, which I only read because it has the same substitute-crucifixion thing going on as Islam, but WHEW chile the DRUGS these ppl were on while writing this shit…! The Sethians and the Nag Hammadi library produced such treasures of crazy-ass literature. It makes me sad how so much of this stuff is just totally forgotten now that Christianity is mostly just Catholic/Protestant+Orthodox. There were so many sects and people had so many divergent ideas, some more drug-assisted than others probably!! And Middle Eastern Christianity was very diverse even in the 7th century. Some of the stories they produced had such rich lore. My fave right now is this Syriac collection:

I came across this one while looking for the origins of the al-Khidr story in the Quran. There were all sorts of opinions about who he was, bc Mohammed never really gave any details on his life, but Ibn Ishaq recorded an opinion that al-Khidr was the one who buried Adam and Allah granted him long life in return. So I looked for the source of that story and it was the story of Melchizedek in this book. Then I read the whole thing and man this would make for some weird psychedelic series or sth. It’s online, look it over and you’ll see how trippy it is.

Um… anon this is getting rly long tbh so let me sum up my knowledge of Shinto, Native American animism, and Jainism: not much!! Buddhism I have only an intro-level knowledge of, I know the basics but I don’t know more than that. The beliefs of Yazidis I don’t fully understand, but the little I know is pretty cool. From what I understand it’s a blend of pre-Islamic Kurdish religion + early Islamic influence + some other influences thrown in. It’s sad how they’re branded as devil-worshipers or w/e when the story of Melek Taus is actually really interesting and has a good moral and is way, way better than the story of Iblis. I also enjoy Yazidi architecture and that unique ribbed cone top of theirs. I hope they’re able to live on as a community after, uh, recent events.

I actually was taught about Bahai people growing up but I was told it was some heretical offshoot of Islam comparable to Ahmadiyya people. I didn’t realize it was considered its own religion until fairly recently tbh. I did read the Kitab al-Aqdas (which is blessedly short, this makes Bahai a great religion automatically!!) once. It’s definitely super inspired by the Quran in terms of style and to me clearly seems to be an attempt to make a Kinder And Also More Iranian Islam. I think it’s pretty neat. In fact I think a lot of attempts to magically make Islam “nicer” would just end up making it more like Bahai tbh. And it has a really fascinating history, with the Bab basically being a new John the Baptist and Bahaullah being the one he foretold. He even accidentally ended up in Israel lmao. I also really love Bahai architecture in terms of how diverse it is, with the only unifying feature being visual interest, and I would love to see the temple in India irl one day. India always has the best architecture anyway.

I saved Zoroastrians for last bc I have to be honest here. I tried to look into it, because it’s ancient and had an influence on Judaism etc and that makes it important. Fam I got about 3% of the way through the Avesta before giving up. I was still in the hymns part and just like… every other word was something I didn’t understand. I will go back and try again one day but for now the answer is “lol idk”.

ANYWAY… yeah… I’ve enjoyed reading about religion way more now that I’m not religious, both in terms of Islam and other religions, I can appreciate the process or w/e now that I’m not constantly trying to make it fit into Islam or panicking every time I spot something that makes me question my faith. I know a lot of atheists either fall away from religion altogether or just look at it like it’s something dumb, but even if it’s fake, that doesn’t make it worthless imo. The history itself is always worth studying.

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

FULLY GOING FERAL RN OK @lightlykos are you talking about this quote from the concept art?

'Loki's true form is unknown, and his design is a black and white pattern so you can't tell which one is more prominent. He wants to make people wonder what side he is on. Linking to this idea, his design is based off 'dazzle camouflage' which was used on WWI warships to confuse enemies about the size of the ship. The horns that form on Loki's eyes are meant to be snail parasites, evoking the feeling of not knowing one's true self and the unpleasant feeling that this brings.'

(I found the translation of the original Japanese online so it might not be perfectly accurate)

Akechi doesn't know who he is!!! sjkbsk I actually wrote a whole meta about this a little while ago that I am going to link to here bc its very relevant and goes into a lot more detail.

But man. I love that about Akechi and it makes me so.... rotates this poor man in my mind. he has no idea who he is!!! he gives me such strong p4 vibes my man.

thinking of the creator commentary for loki in the artbook that's like "We thought it would be good if the sight of loki made even Akechi question. 'who are you really?'" constantly like even akechis is put off by him...

oh this is making me go insane i love it. and the fact he insists on using exclusively loki in the third sem.... really makes you think (and using him to use call of chaos on himself constantly. truly. a lot happening here)

also calling up to join this discussion my fellow akechi expert bestie @akechi-stole-my-heart for possible additional input 👀

[new-graduate-rn]

New Graduate Registered Nurse Residency Program Portfolio

Hi there!

I interviewed for a new graduate RN position about 2 months ago without practicing any interview questions or anything and I was offered a position! I didn't send a post interview thank you letter/email/note or anything. I really believe why they wanted to hire me was because of my nursing portfolio or maybe because they liked me? Lol who knows.  I didn’t accept the offer due to personal issues going on right now but I really believe this helped me in getting an offer. In this post I will include how I complied and prepared my nursing portfolio for success! If you’re interested please keep on reading and also note this is how I prepared my portfolio. I tailored my portfolio to the documents/presentations/material that I currently have. Your portfolio doesn’t necessarily have to look like this. If you have more or less documents please feel free to change it up to however makes you look more appealing as a candidate.

First thing to do: ORGANIZE. It can take a while to compile various original documents. It literally took me 2-3 months to compile all this information together and I am still in the process of gathering more.

Documents you could possibly include:

Title/Cover Page

Table of Contents Page

Resume

Cover Letter

Personal Statement

Unofficial/Official Transcripts

Diploma

Certifications: ACLS/BSL/PALS Card, Hospital Fire and Life Safety Card, Respirator Fit Testing Card, First Aid Card, Driver’s License/ID Card, RN License/RN Certificate, basically any certifications you have.

Letters of Recommendation from Professors or Clinical Instructors

Letters of Reference from Managers, Supervisors, Coworkers

Letters of Character from Mentors, Friends, Classmates

Work Evaluations

Extracurricular Activities

Volunteering

Awards

Professional Presentations/Projects

Health Records: Physical Exam, Vaccinations, Titers

This may seem like a lot of information/documents to find but this is where awesome time management skills come in handy. Be mindful this could take a couple of months to gather all this information. It really depends on how well you plan and how far in advance you ask instructors/people for letters. I believe the letters took the longest only because I couldn’t dictate on how fast to write them. lol. 

Title/Cover Page

For each portfolio I make I like to create a custom title/cover page. On this page I usually include a picture of the hospital/facility logo, the name of the program, the unit I am applying to, my name, credentials, my school c/o 20___, cumulative GPA, registered nurse #________, and a picture of myself all on 1 page. Because this goes in the front of my portfolio it makes it a bit more professional, memorable, and individualized. Although it is relatively simple it shows that you put effort into something to make it for the institution because you added the facility logo. Some people say do and don’t do the photo. It really depends on what you’re comfortable with. I believe a photo will make you more memorable and when they hear a name they will (hopefully) remember the face. lol. Also be mindful to choose a photo that is appropriate: good background, not blurry, well dressed, put together. Ex. graduation photo, pinning ceremony photo, or pre-graduation photoshoot photos. The first thing they will see of your portfolio will be your title/cover page so make it professional but most of all memorable. 

Table of Contents

I like to include a table of contents page only because I have a lot of documents and hopefully to make it easier on the reader. They can skim the table of contents and it can give them a run down on what documents are going to be found in the portfolio. Again, it is a very simple thing to do, but it shows the attention to detail and will make your portfolio more pleasant to read.

Resume

I have entire post dedicated to a new graduate RN resume. I rewrite my resume every other week. I let other people look at it with fresh eyes because it can be hard for me to find mistakes especially when I see the same thing over and over again. Please go to this link and read more about a new graduate rn resume.

https://new-graduate-rn.tumblr.com/post/165532322180/new-graduate-registered-nurse-resume

Unofficial/Official Transcripts

At my school, unofficial transcript copies are free all we need to do is show our ID and we can get a copy right then and there. Official transcripts are not free and there is usually a fee to get them sent somewhere and it usually takes a couple of days. Most hospitals accept unofficial transcripts during the interview/application process, but if hired be prepared to contact your school to have them send the official ones. Some hospitals upon hire ask that you get a sealed envelope of the official transcripts or have them send it to the HR office. Keep in mind if there is a deadline most schools take a couple of days to send the transcript since it is most likely going to be through the mail.

Diploma

I graduated in May 2017 and our school did not send out my diploma until August 2017. I relied on my unofficial transcripts as proof that I completed all my rotations and my grades. If you don’t have your diploma before an interview make sure you include the unofficial transcripts and also let them know the diploma will be coming soon. Like official transcripts, some hospitals require you to bring in the original diploma for their hiring process. 

Certifications

Most certifications such as ACLS, BLS, PALS, first aid, and RN license, etc are in the card form. What I like to do is put all of the card certifications on the same paper right next to each other instead of them being on different pages. It makes it look a lot cleaner and more condensed. Instead of having to turn the page for each certification all of them will be found on the same 1-2 pages. Also please make sure to include the backs of some of the certifications such as the ACLS, BLS, PALS, fit testing card etc. some hospitals require that the certifications be done by the American Heart Association and this aids in proving you have the correct and desired certification.

Work Evaluation

As mentioned earlier I am a nursing aid/care partner and I have been working there for about a year. This year I had my evaluation done and I was required to turn it in to my boss. I made sure to keep a copy for myself to include it in my documentation/portfolio my proof of work and work ethic.

Letters of Recommendation/Reference/Character

I asked my clinical instructors and professors for a letter of recommendation as soon as a rotation was over so they would not forget me, lol. It does happen and the sooner you ask them the more likely they will remember you. I also asked my letters of reference from my supervisors (current and previous) to have proof of my work ethic. As for my extracurricular activities, my church doesn’t give out certificates or anything like that so I asked my choir director and pastor for letters that showed my community service & leadership experiences. I asked all of these letters either in person, text message, phone call, or through email. I was fortunate enough to be close to all the people who were able to write me letters. Be mindful to keep contact with these people after they have written you a letter because some employers ask that the people who wrote the reference also complete an online reference form for HR and hiring paperwork. The first step is getting the letter, but the second step is maintaining contact with them so that when it is needed you can easily contact them. Another thing to note is make sure the letters are written on letterhead paper. Some hospitals ask that it is written on letterhead and will not accept any that is not.

Extracurricular Activities

I was not very active in my schools extracurricular activities, but I was active in my local community church. I included letters from my choir director and pastor regarding my leadership and experiences there. Put anything that is separate from academic related things such as: CNSA, sorority/fraternity/community service/church work/volunteering, school clubs, anything! This is to showcase you’re more than just into school/grades but also volunteering and socializing and leadership experiences!

Awards

Awards don’t necessarily have to only be related to school it can also be related to any of the extracurricular activities. Some school related awards could be honors, academic excellence, tuition awards etc. Any awards you have should be included!

Professional Projects/Presentations

At my school in my senior year each rotation we had to create a presentation/project that needed to be presented to the class or to the facility at each rotation. In my research class we were required to make a poster presentation of a comprehensive literature review. I included these presentations as they were more recent and I believe were the best material since it was for my senior level classes.

Health Records: Physical Exam, Vaccinations, Titer

I have seen some people include their health records in their portfolios. It is really up to you. I personally did not include them only because I didn’t think it was relevant, but to each their own. Although I do not include them in my portfolio I make sure to keep copies because some HR and occupational health will require this paper work for the hiring process.

STORAGE

I keep all my original documents in a binder and I use presentation sleeves for each document. I do this to help maintain the integrity of the documents in case I need to show proof of originals to employers, HR, or anyone else who needs them. I also make sure to scan all the documents and keep copies in my google drive, flash drive, desktop, and I even email them to myself. Some how if the paper copies get destroyed or if I lose my flash drive or of my computer dies Ill have copies in my google drive and email. Pretty much be prepared for anything because you never know if anything will be lost or destroyed.

BINDING

There are various ways to bind this portfolio together. At Staples they have presentation binders where they will bind the documents together with glossy front, vinyl back, and a coil to put them together. At Staples they also have clear front report covers where you can just stick them in there without having to wait a day or couple of hours to put it together. I personally like the look of the coiled presentation book because it shows you took time before the interview to go to the store and have it bound. Again it really depends on the amount of time you have to prepare and also the finances. It is cheaper to get the clear front report covers and more convenient, but the coiled presentation books look more professional and put together. Again it really depends on what you’re willing to do and how much money you’re willing to invest.

These are the links to the Staples website:

Clear Front Report Cover: https://www.staples.com/Report-Covers/cat_CL130501

Coiled Presentation Books: https://www.staples.com/sbd/content/copyandprint/presentations.html

TABBED DIVIDERS

I personally like to include tabbed dividers in my portfolio. I believe the tabbed dividers really nicely organize the documents because without it they can kind of get jumbled up together. Along with the tabs I also put the table of contents to make it more organized. I usually do the 5 tabbed dividers and divide it like this:

Tab 1 - Introduction

Cover Letter

Resume

Personal Statement

Tab 2 - Certifications

Diploma

Unofficial Transcripts

RN Certification

Certifications

Tab 3 - Letters of Recommendation/Letters of Reference

Tab 4 - Awards and Extracurricular Activities

Tab 5 - Presentations

Tabbed Dividers Link: https://www.staples.com/Avery-Ready-Index-Multicolor-Table-of-Contents-Dividers-6-Sets-Pack/product_SS1098276

Hopefully this was helpful to you. I know this is a long post to read but I believe with the right attitude, effort, and time management your portfolio will impress prospective employers and help you in getting the job.

Thanks again. Until next time (:

[nanlicia]

#honestly y r so many of u so fuckin racist i hate u all#fandom racism nurseyrans reblog from long ago--hah man it has been a while since i've been on just hanging around saying hi, but like man that ask was from a black nurseyrans fan pointing out that YEAH we did make a ship just because the characters were black. That's why we did it and like SOooooooo what. That's awesome and who cares we can do that if we want. I get the ship I don't get why we don't flaunt that fact and instead downplay it

hi there! so let me start out by saying that i agree - it is 100% valid to ship two characters who r black for the sole reason that they're both black. absolutely. i also wanna say that i am not black, so i don't claim to speak w any authority about these sorts of things nor to speak for others, these r just my personal thoughts/feelings. in the case of my tags on that particular post, i do think the context of it is relevant? bc it came a couple days or so after a post where someone was dismissing the nurseyrans ship on the basis that both characters r black. they were implying that ALL these characters are is black, and therefore shipping them means ur only doing it bc they're both black which is uninteresting - that the only interesting ships w either ransom or nursey r ships of them w their white bff or white rival, respectively. i don't claim to know what was in the OP's head when they wrote that post, but that was the impression i, and others, got from it. (im on mobile rn so I'll try to link to that post later for reference - tbh their response to my friend pointing that out to them was even worse than the initial post but idk i think it was too much to unpack for a lot of reasons). but so when i read the question on the post ur referring to, i went into it w that having just occurred, and reading various other sarcastic comments in the same vein, so when i came across this post i read it as "why does anyone ship these two black characters other than to increase content for two black characters? It's not like their relationship could ever be as interesting as the ones they have in canon w two white characters". again I'll say that ur right. if people wanna ship them simply to increase content for them, simply bc they're both black, so what?? sooo what??? why is it anyone else's business?? its not. and i do often ship characters of color simply bc they're of color, i don't see anything wrong w that and i don't think it's something to downplay or be shy about. I'm a person of color and i like shipping POC together and no one's gonna stop me or shame me over it to be sure. but it's the second part that i take issue with. the idea that either of these characters isn't well rounded enough to have interesting relationships w any other character aside from the one white character the fandom says they can. the idea that either of these characters doesn't bring something unique into any ship, let alone one w each other. the idea that either of these characters aren't interesting characters by themselves outside of their being black, or that they don't exist for reasons other than being black. that's the line of thinking i take issue with. i apologize if i misunderstood what the anon meant, or if i seemed flippant or dismissive in any way w those tags. i was reading it freshly irritated about the other post - which may or may not have even prompted that ask in the first place - and i took that into that fersure. which is probably unfair and maybe asking the anon to clarify their stance could've helped. they werent my anon sure, but i cant say i'd have even thought to ask for clarification either to be honest bc as we can see i was p upset right away.

[harrysdimples]

okay so i have a few songs flora cash - you're somebody else sleeping at last - already gone chord overstreet - hold on anson seabra - robin hood jessica benko - a soulmate who wasn't meant to be rob thomas - her diamonds ( this song is so meaningful to me, he wrote it for his wife who suffers from autoimmune disease) maybe you already know some of the songs but want to hear your opinion!!

unrelated but this lyric video is really cool lol. I dig the lyrics a lot but idk, something isn’t clicking fully for me with this. it’s definitely not bad by any means though! I like it

I like sleeping at last! I’m only a casual fan, and I think I’ve heard this before but still like it! I have to be in the right mindset to fully appreciate the song I think but this is really good :)

oh I’ve heard this before! this is a lil too basic straight white man popstar for me lol but it’s still decent! reminds me of that I hate u I love u song that got big a while ago. if i’m feeling sad then i’d probs appreciate this more

similar to the last song with indie folk guy being a lil too much for me but this has better lyrics! 

ohh I really like this! her voice is class. like the minimal production and the ocean sounds in the back. relevant to some of the things going on in my life rn. two big thumbs up from me

aw this is good. the chorus reminds me of drops of jupiter by train for some reason lmao, the story behind it is 3 and i’m glad it means a lot to you!!

[recentnews18-blog]

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/why-we-shouldnt-be-surprised-pete-davidson-joked-about-his-split-from-ariana-grande/

Why We Shouldn't Be Surprised Pete Davidson Joked About His Split From Ariana Grande

Is all fair in love and post-break-up art?

That is the question when it comes to Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson‘s recent split, as the two are now navigating the rocky waters of moving on after such a high-profile and public engagement. And unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like they are exactly on the same page when it comes to addressing their split. 

On Thursday, Grande, 25, took to Twitter to seemingly blast Davidson, 24, for using their break-up as fodder in a new Saturday Night Live promo. 

“She wasn’t amused by Pete’s jokes at all,” a source close to the “God Is a Woman” singer told E! News. “They made an agreement that they would not address their relationship or discuss it after they split up. He violated that agreement.” 

Another source, however, said “it’s not true” that Davidson “violated any agreement.” 

And for Davidson, using the darker experiences from his past, the ones other people usually hide away from unless they are sitting on a therapist’s couch, is an integral part of his comedy, and has become one of his stand-up signatures.

“I’m like, ‘Heyyyy, I just want to talk about this, that everybody’s uncomfortable about.’ I like doing that,” he told The New York Times in 2015. “I like making things that are dark, awkward, weird things that you don’t really find funny, funny.”

This often includes referencing his father—Scott Davidson, a firefighter was killed on 9/11—during his routines, a loss that impacted him in the way only losing a beloved parent at seven years old can.

One example of his coping comedy? “I always regretted growing up without a dad…until I met your dad, Justin,” Davidson said to Justin Bieber during the Comedy Central roast for the pop star in 2015. “Now I’m glad mine’s dead.”

If you’re feeling a little unsettled by that joke, well, that was Davidson’s intention, with the 24-year-old’s brand of sort-of-offensive-humor helping him become one of SNL‘s youngest cast members ever. 

After his father’s tragic passing, Davidson’s mother told the Times, “It was sad how sad he was growing up,” adding he began acting out in school, and even ripped all of his hair out until he was bald during one particularly rough period.

And then when he was 16, Davidson began doing stand-up. “I feel very safe—you can say whatever you want,” he said.

Making people uncomfortable while on stage is Davidson’s comfort—even when it’s at his own expense, owning his losses before they can possibly be used against him.

And this exactly what he did when he referenced his recent split with Grande his during the promo released for Saturday Night Live‘s Nov. 3 show. In it, Davidson jokingly asks musical guest Maggie Rogers, “You wanna get married?”

When she declines, a sad Davidson says, “0 for three.”

It wasn’t the first time Davidson had brought up the broken engagement—it was just the first time he did it on such a big stage. And his ex-fiancee definitely noticed.

“For somebody who claims to hate relevancy [you] sure love clinging to it huh,” she wrote, adding, “Thank [you], next.” Grande didn’t refer to Davidson directly, but the subtweets were pretty darn clear.

She then retweeted a user who wrote. “SNL is about to milk their breakup just like they did with the engagement” as well as an edited clip of Maggie turning Pete down.

BACKGRID

Some people cry. Some people go to therapy. Some people write a song. Davidson takes to the stage, turning his insecurities into comedic ammunition. 

“Things that I feel really sad about, I talk about,” he told Interview magazine in 2014. That way, if it’s funny, it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

But is there a line when it comes to talking about his high-profile split with one of the world’s biggest pop stars? There’s a fine line when it comes to personal and private when it relates to art and it’s one Davidson and Grande clearly have a difference of opinions on, which makes sense given their respective careers. 

No one is holding punches when it comes to stand-up comedy. Everything and everyone is fair game, for better or for worse.  

Music—and more specifically songwriting—however, is all about innuendo and veiled references. Taylor Swift had the entire Internet deducting every lyric (and liner note) with her Red album in 2012, desperately trying to crack the code to figure out which of her ex-boyfriends inspired each song. 

“The more it seems like a journal entry the better,” said Swift. “The more it seems like an open letter the better. The more true and honest and real it gets the better,” Swift told Songwriter Universe in 2012. “Where you’re naming the places you went and the time it happened and all the things about a relationship.”

Grande seemed to allude to her break up with Mac Miller (who later died of an apparent drug overdose in September at the age of 26) after years of dating on and off on the song “Better Off.”

While she almost didn’t include the song on the album, Grande explained on Twitter, “[because] at first i was nervous about like……. it coming true. if that makes sense. more honest than i was ready to be w myself at the time (its [very] old). but it’s beautiful and has always been one of my favs and i’m very happy she’s on there.”

She directly referenced her then-fiancee Davidson on a song named after him, which she wrote shortly after they began dating. 

“I just made it and I sent it to him and I didn’t know what to call it, so I just called it ‘Pete.’ It was going to be that or like, ‘This Is About Pete Davidson,'” she told Jimmy Fallon. “I was like why not just be direct?”

And she tweeted about the song, telling her fans, “Music lasts forever. It’ll outlive any tattoo, any memory, any anything, even myself so i want my love for him and how i feel to be a part of that.”

But it wasn’t just Grande being direct about their love, as Davidson also talked openly about his romance during interviews and stand-up sets.  

During Saturday Night Live‘s season 44 premiere in late September, just before the split, Davidson made several references to his relationship with the pop star. 

He told Colin Jost during Weekend Update, “I got engaged and no one could believe it. I can’t believe it and I get it. She’s number one pop star in the world and I’m that guy from SNL everyone thinks is in desperate need of more blood.”

He even discussed their prenup situation, jokingly explaining, “Obviously I wanted one. So God forbid we split up and she takes half my sneakers? No, look, I’m totally comfortable being with a successful woman. I think it’s dope. I live at her place. She pays 60 grand for rent and all I have to do is stock the fridge.”

Clearly, Davidson knew who was “the settler” and “the reacher” in the relationship. The joke was always on him and he was OK with that.

But some of his humor received some backlash during their relationship, especially a joke he made on SNL about switching Grande’s “birth control with tic tacs,” as well as a comment he made about the Manchester Arena bombing during a comedy set in July. Davidson reportedly made light of his then girlfriend’s level of fame by joking, “Britney Spears didn’t have a terrorist attack at her concert.” 

A few days after Davidson’s comments, Grande addressed the controversy on Twitter. 

In response to one user who said Grande should break up with her fiancé over the insensitive remark, she said, “This has been v tough & conflicting on my heart. he uses comedy to help ppl feel better ab how f-ed up things in this world are. we all deal w trauma differently. I of course didn’t find it funny. it was months ago & his intention wasn’t/ is never malicious but it was unfortunate.” 

Post-split, Davidson’s humor about the relationship kept the same self-deprecating angle, including the SNL promo that sent Grande to Twitter. 

“Pete never said her name in the joke,” a source told E! News of the comments. “It wasn’t a joke about her, it was self-deprecating.”

And the source continued that Davidson is doing what he usually does during a difficult period of his life: filtering his heartbreak through humor. 

Instagram

“Pete’s way of dealing with the breakup is through jokes, but he’s doing just fine and is moving forward,” the insider said. 

Davidson first publicly spoke about the split when he co-hosted the comedy show Judd & Pete for America in October, addressing the elephant in the room pretty damn quickly. 

“Well, as you could tell, I don’t want to be here. There’s a lot going on,” Pete told the crowd. “Does anybody have any open rooms? Looking for a roommate?”

In addition to joking about his lack of housing, the comedian also brought up their infamous matching tattoo (which she’s already been covering up post-split).

“So, obviously you know [Ariana and I] broke up or whatever but when me and her first got engaged we got tattoos, and it was like in a magazine like, ‘Was Pete Davidson stupid?’ And 93% of it said yes,” he said. “”So my boy, he was like, ‘Don’t listen to that s–t man. They’re literally f–king haters.’ And I’m like, yeah, f–k that. I’m not stupid. And the other day we were in my kitchen and he was like, ‘Yo bro. Turns out you were stupid.'”

As for Grande, who is prepping for her Sweetener World Tour in 2019, she’s stayed mostly silent, save for some interactions with her fans on Twitter, before taking to the social media platform following the SNL promo to seemingly call out her ex. 

“Time to say bye bye to the internet for just a lil bit. It’s hard not to bump news n stuff that i’m not tryna to see rn,” she posted—then deleted—on Instagram Stories in Mid-October. “It’s very sad and we’re all tryin very hard to keep goin. love u. and thank u for bein here always.”

Now, after Davidson’s jokes referencing the broken engagement, a source told E! News that Grande is “really hurt” and knowing he would see her tweets, she “hopes that he will have enough respect to not do it again.”

We guess we’ll all have to wait and see what happens live from Saturday night…

Don’t miss E! News every weeknight at 7 p.m., only on E!

Source: https://www.eonline.com/news/983233/why-we-shouldn-t-be-surprised-pete-davidson-joked-about-his-split-from-ariana-grande