13idyllic

[13idyllic]

Don’t forget to wipe your tears before you pick up the call,

dont tell them how you feel,

hold everything inside you until you overflow, I

promise there is no other way to go.

Dont forget you cant disturb them every time you feel alone,

dont forget you cant tell them you dont know how to move on,

let your heart break a little more

I promise there is no other way to go.

[13idyllic]

everything is for you

i write in simple words, for you. for I think, if you understand my poetry, you might understand me.

[13idyllic]

It doesn’t feel like a dream

it's the second day at your new college and you are eating rajma chawal alone just like you ate pav bhaji alone at your previous one. this new auto wala also says, "seat par mat girana." and you tell me him you'll eat carefully. but you fail to tell him that you have eaten in many autos, even had rotis on bikes and now you are champion in eating in moving vehicles. you fail to tell him that you passed the challenge of eating alone in unconventional places but did not win at making new friends. you look at the rajma chawal again and think how at school this would have been finished in minutes and how you would have tried three other dishes from your friends tiffins. you take another bite and think about how you don't miss school but you do miss not feeling alone. now the rain pours in making it difficult to eat in the auto. so you keep the half eaten tiffin back and think about all the half eaten tiffins you bought back home previously at your old college. you fear this new college will have the same reality as your old one. so you sit listening to music, thinking these thoughts, looking at the heavy downpour in everyone's dream city, feeling sadder than before.

[13idyllic]

Mindless scrolling

on bed for 6 hours instead of sleeping

On the toilet

In bath

Can't stop or thinking would start

Too afraid to debunk what the mind holds

Block it

Supress it

Don't ever let it out

Cry

Be sad

But don't let anyone know your fears

A hundred friends

But vulnerable to know one

Can't trust

Can't sleep

Can I get the courage to just die please?

- 13idyllic

[13idyllic]

in another life i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes

[13idyllic]

the ship the shipper

[13idyllic]

why is ends with us getting a movie before selection and other great books with awesome writing, super loveable characters and storylines that make you high on dopamine

[13idyllic]

Would you trust me if I said it hurts me too?

told to decide my future at 16,

i was confused too

but trust me when i say 

it kills me to not see you everyday

it hurts to know that 

mom, you won't cut my hair again

and i'll never eat meal made by dad again

a part of me is locked up and dying

because i can't go home anymore 

to you and everyone else i left behind

please trust me when i say

I didn't have a choice

and I will love you

always.

[13idyllic]

it was not the idea of a person that i fell in love with

it was the person

it was their beauty

their voice and how they gave me butterflies.

they made me feel loved

and with them everything felt alright

I think it was love at first sight

their laugh had captured my eye

is 4 too young an age?

because i think i have loved you

and felt a connection with you since the day i saw you for the first time

we were four & you were there

on the playground smiling,

looking an angel

your beauty shined and i couldn't get my eyes off you

and i think i have loved you ever since

and i know i always will

[13idyllic]

If I could turn back time,

If I could go back home,

I would pause and take it all in,

Just one more moment of bliss.

If I could go back in time,

I promise to journal every story, every day

I promise to remember it all.

If I could get just one more moment,

I promise to sketch it all out,

Every inch, every stone,

Everyone skin, every bone.

Just give me one more minute,

Then I promise I'll go,

And hold on to it forever with every inch of my soul.

[13idyllic]

when you sleep to escape your anxiety but now sleep won't come but anxiety is left behind.

[13idyllic]

we are wired to seek human connection but are always truly alone

o nature what is this hypocrisy of yours?

words are like knives and bullets that keep hurting us more

even the good ones are twisted by the insecurity of own

loved ones hurt more than strangers but we're supposed to love them and forgive them for all

i don't think i can do that anymore is there a option to change them and try once more?

each day this life feels like more of curse than a boon

i don't think hell fire will hurt more than these wounds

i know human life aint' supposed to be completly happy but i don't think i even smile anymore

is this my hell or just the place to prepare us for it for i dont think anything could hurt more

scars for lifetime that the naked eye can't see

i tried to heal them but i am tired now and want to end this once and for all

[13idyllic]

Mindless scrolling

on bed for 6 hours instead of sleeping

On the toilet

In bath

Can't stop or thinking would start

Too afraid to debunk what the mind holds

Block it

Supress it

Don't ever let it out

Cry

Be sad

But don't let anyone know your fears

A hundred friends

But vulnerable to know one

Can't trust

Can't sleep

Can I get the courage to just die please?

- 13idyllic